January 05, 2004
Yeah....
Well, THIS is why I'm convinced we're related.
Posted by: Stevie at 05:48 PM | Comments (38) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
BRAVO!!!!!!
Thank you. Bout damn time SOMBODY said it. Thing I'd like to know...where the hell are all the 'paragons of virtue' who were ready to have Michael Jackson dragged off and shot for his less-than-stellar judgement? What? This shit is okay just because this bleeding asshole Croc guy is 'normal looking'?
Fuck that.
C'mon all you people who are so horrified about Michael Jackson....where are the condemnations for THIS? Where'd all the judgements go? Hmmm? Where are the calls to remove this jerks kids from his custody? Where ya's at now? Watchin' Animal Planet? Or eagle-eyein' Mikey for the next time he so much as farts sideways?
Posted by: Stevie at 05:30 PM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
made my stomach turn to see what he did, nevermind that you just don't hold a one month old infant that way!! *sigh*
Hello ever'body...
Paul and I are tweakin' this thing again. Installed a new Java thingy, fartin' around with the Pop up Blockers and the crunched up comments text....whew.
More we do, the more there is to do.
I'm sneakin' a quick post in while he's diagnosing some damned thing or another...also watching 'The Odd Couple' movie again. Jack Lemmon and Walt Matthau are da shit, man. Love those two. Didn't surprise me a bit that Jack didn't last a whole lot longer than Walt did.
Anyhow...I better git on back to my IM window. The shit I'm puttin' Paul through with this stuff, honestly. If he's quiet too long, I get skeert he's beatin' his head on the desk or something. I have that affect on people...
Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 05:17 PM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
January 04, 2004
Biff Rose....
I adore the guy. And, not just because I grew up listening to his music and know all the words on one side of one album (the side with "Buzz the Fuzz", "It's Happening" and those other excellent, excellent songs) or that he writes great one (or two) liners that I use quite often, but also because he's this kinda guy:
Well thank you, ****...Yes i still play,write,sing and am working on an album right now..My producer is GOD..that's Walter in Denver..We turn walter into wine....Lots of controversy surrounding these two albums I'm making one last spring and one this spring due to the nine eleven...All is changed..So has the sentry...Love and thank you...b.This was in response to an email I sent him about two years ago. His response is dated 3-2-02. I've kept it that long....
I'm sitting here debating with myself whether or not to also post the email I sent him....it's goofy. Exactly the same as I write here...a year and a half before I ever wrote a word of a blog...lol. Aw, hell...may as well. Here ya go: Mr. Rose,
Hi. My name is **** and I'm 38 and I literally grew up listening to
you sing. I know all the words to and will sing at the drop of a hat
your coolest song "Buzz the Fuzz". As a matter of fact, I sang it to
my boyfriend just yesterday. Traffic was annoying me, among other
things, so as I was picking pocket lint outta a small bit of weed I had, I
said "Opps, that's a fuzz" and that was all it took. Did the whole
song. Voice changes, inflections and all. Thank you for that.
Actually, I know all the songs on the same album side as "Buzz". I
even use your liner notes from "Children of the Light" sometimes. My
two favorites are "There are two ways to handle women and no one
knows either of them" and "The fastest way to a man's heart is thru
his left ventricle". I still have my parents original albums of
yours. I'll still play them, too. But, I'd love to find both of
them on tape or CD somewhere. I think on-line will be my best bet,
altho, I'd rather do it the old fashioned way-you know, buy it, have
it, play it all on the same day. Oh well, I'll do what I have
to....eventually.
In the mean time, I found this E-mail address and decided to write
and just say "Thank you" again, for the way your mind works and
displaying it. You make me feel less alone. And you're funny as
hell. I like your work...a lot. I only wish I had been old enough
to see you back when. I'd have loved to be a part of all that.
Maybe, in some small way, I am. I heard you, still sing your songs
and tell people about you when the opportunity arises. I am a (38
year old) fan. So, once again-"Thanks" and I hope you have as much
fun in life as you've given me..... ****
(srv200163 at yahoo dot com....there is a picture of me on that
profile..if you want to see what I look like...Seems fair to me-I
know what you look(ed) like...Bye! I just reeeeally wish I could find that album on tape. I still have the album, myself. It's in your shed, Dad, along with the other 300 of 'em. I don't have a turntable. I don't think they even make them anymore...
Tell ya what, though...if ANYBODY, anywhere, ever is able to tape that album for me, not only would I exchange cash for it, I'll also make ya a batch of homemade, soft, chewy Tollhouse cookies. With walnuts, even, if ya want.
Yeah, I miss Biff THAT much. In the meantime, enjoy (again) the lyrics to 'Buzz the Fuzz' from memory. "Buzz the Fuzz" (Gawd how I wish I could just post this song...the music of it is what makes it soooo cool...) Once there was a fellow and his name was Buzz.
He was just rookie cop, just a baby fuzz.
He partolled the Sunset Strip,
In the land of the free and the home of the hip.
He protected you and me,
Until he met a girl named Alice D. Alice was a girl that all good hippies dread.
And, they called her Sweet Alice D. Head.
Alice, it was plain to see,
Was full of pot and STP.
She'd attract a great big crowd,
Because her inner peace was
MUCH TOO LOUD. Buzz did the thing a good fuzz must.
He shoved his gun in Alice's chest and said
"This is a bust..."
Shone the flashlight to her eyes...
She began to hyp-no-tizzzze
Buzz said
"What a wild sensation.
This must be halu-halu-cina-cina-tion-tion-tion...." Loooove is so sensational,
When you fall in love with eyes di-la-tional.
Buzz said
"Alice, you I like.
Come take a ride on my fuzzy bike.
Soooon, it will be getting dark,
and weee can watch the stars from Griffith Park..." So, they both went out and dug astrologee-ee-ee-eee-ee-ee.
Through their mutual hallucin-alitee-ee-eee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee.
Now they're taking pills and shots and
Buzz is not afraid of Watts.
Buzz and Alice D. have shown the way of where the fuzz might be someday. Buzz is still a cop, of course.
He's the pusher on the force.
He's protecting you and me
From e-e-e-evil women like
Poor Alice D.
Biff Rose...you still rock, Dude. I love ya. Here's his site.
Posted by: Stevie at 02:57 PM | Comments (49) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
January 03, 2004
I am officially a thief...
But...I only steal from the best. I found this gem over at Cyn's. Thank you, Love....It's only perfect!
Bear Hunting
Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was my cousin and you've got two choices... Either I maul you to death or we have sex." After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex." Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate. Although he survived, it took several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it from point blank range. He felt sweet revenge, but, then, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him very sadly and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
Posted by: Stevie at 12:36 PM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Alrighty then....
I just took two of the Metabolife, one Diurex, we are currently at the Delta toga party and Bill is ignoring me.
John Belushi just destroyed that guys guitar....lmao. "Sorry." rotfl By the way...how stupid is this? It says on the directions for the Diurex-which is supposed to make ya piss yer brains out-that you're supposed to drink 49 gallons of water a day. Does that not defeat the purpose of this shit? How dumb. Siiiigh. Honestly.Posted by: Stevie at 12:05 PM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
John Bender first thing in the morning....
It's kinda like a shot of Jack Daniels, in flames, for breakfast. Whew...God, I love the guy. Judd Nelson is....excellent, himself, but, this one character that he played in "The Breakfast Club"....oofa. John Bender is me as a guy. I mean, if I were a guy, he's exactly like I'd be. Matter of fact, last night, I got a pair of boots (surprise!) to wear with my sweats and shit. (I do hafta go places sometimes where barn boots just don't cut it, although I try to avoid places like that religiously)...(and just by the way...I fuckin' HATE this asshole 'teacher' in this movie. He and Bender are currently racking up the weekend detenions. Lord, I wish Bender would, just once, punch this fuck right in the middle of his face when he (the 'teacher') has him (John) locked in that closet.) Any-flippin'-way...back to my boots....(for one sec..) Wanna guess what I based my decision on as far as whether or not they'd work? Yeah...John Bender. I got me a pair of 'Bender' boots. Black, heavy, lace-up (laces are never, ever to be tied, btw) boots that are the basic work-boot design...only sexy. I put one on, fixed the laces, the cuff of my sweats and looked down...at John Benders leg on my body. I knew right then..."Yep...dese is da ones..." Feminine, they ain't. (Neither am I, tho.) Sexy, they are. (I will be when I get the 'extra person worth of FAT' offa my gut...lol)
Honestly, now...if I were in high school with these people, I'd probably be friends with Brian (the brain) and maybe Ally Sheedy's character, too. People like her are surprisingly cool, when given half a chance. Andrew Clark (Emilio Estavez), I'd hate. Snotty, little preppy athlete shitheel. Pfft. I'd beat his ass my own self. Claire (the ever ugly Molly Ringwald) you can keep, too. Rich-bitch, too good for everybody little cunt-in-training. Bender winding up with HER at the end is the only thing I'd change. Of course, in my mind, he just takes that diamond earring, a piece of ass offa her and blows her off...like she's probably gonna do to untold number of men in her life. Bender would be mine.All mine. And, I'd be wantin' to rip the (fat, ugly) lips offa any chick who got in my way, if I had to....which I wouldn't. Heh. (Oh Gawd...we're havin' lunch now...Claire and her 'bait', Clarks friggin' grocery bag fulla shit and here goes Ally Sheedy with her Pixy-stick and Cap't. Crunch sandwich....Here we go with Brian's lunch..."Who'd yer Mom marry, Mr. Rogers?" "Uh, no...Mr. Johnson..." ) We also got a new what I call 'ass gasket'...my name for a padded toilet seat. Those things are great...til the vinyl starts to crack...and poke and stab and bite and pinch...and is permanantly flattened. At which point going to the bathroom becomes a (slightly dangerous) chore. So...we have a new one which I will put on later. Talk about a pain in the ass...man. Gotta be a guy who designed that crap...those 'bolts' are just soooo easy to work with. Padded seats are the only ones worth going through all that shit for, ya know? Oh good. I hear shots outside. Another chance to wind up with a buncha shot and/or dead jerkoffs. Hope they all shoot each other. Maybe then I could go outta the fuckin' house with having to wear a suit of armour. Assholes. Pfft. Oh here we go...'Teach' is now confronting Bender. This is where I'd like to go after this guy with the Pusser club. He deserves it. With fuckin' teachers like this (and yeah, I know it's a movie. I also know that this guy is not unheard of in the teaching profession...) what chance do guys like Bender have? That is what they're supposed to educate themselves to become? This is what they're (we're) supposed to aspire to? Puh-leeze.
I WANNA KNOW THE END OF THIS FREAKIN' JOKE, DAMN IT.
You know, the one Bender's tellin' himself as he crawls back to the library through the heat vents..."Naked blonde goes into a bar with a 2 foot salami and a poodle, bartender asks 'What can I get you" and the blonde says..."OH SHIIIIIIT!!!" as Bender falls through the ceiling. If I don't find out the end of that joke before I die, I'mina...keep wondering about it, I guess. (lol)
Oh Gawd...now they're gonna go get high. I am sooo jealous. I wanna get high with Bender, myself. Him and Brian. That'd be so cool. Claire can get her own shit, though...she's made of money. (Molly Ringwald makes my gag reflex go into hyper-drive. Fugly bi-atch. I hate her in "The Stand", too. I'm honestly trying to think if I've ever seen her in anything that her big, fat ugly lips and face weren't nauseatingly mesmerizing, thus completely distracting from whatever role she's playing...but nope. There ain't one. She's ugly and that's that.)
Speaking of ugly...I broke down and got some Ephedra-free Metabolife last night. I also got some stuff to get rid of excess water...Diurex. They wanna ban Ephedra, fine. There's always this shit and Exlax. I will get this weight off again and this time, I don't give a damn how many people ask "Does she have cancer, or something?"..I'm keeping it off. If I can't burn it off with jacked-up thermogenics (Ephedra), then I'll piss it off. Or shit it off. Whatever. I'm sick of it.
Jeez, do ya think that maybe if academics were stressed for college atheletes the assholes might learn to read, thus not overdose themselves on OVER THE FUCKIN' COUNTER HERBS when they go pro? Fuckin' losers. Hell, if they're that fuckin' stupid, seems more like 'thinning the herd' than any great tragedy when those jerks die. Thanks to those geniuses I can't have Ephedra. Thanks, Assholes. Hope yer careers all tank. It'd be funnier if yer heads all exploded into flames, but I can live with the idea of y'all being broke, homeless, not famous, not over-paid to do jackshit, sitting there with whizzeled up old man bodies all alone because ya aren't a rounded enough person to even be able to follow label directions, let alone sustain relationships without fame and money. That'd work. I ever see one of you dead dorks graves...I'll go get a coupla beers, slam 'em down, then pee for 9 hours, right on your graves. So there. Sigh. And I'm not in a bad mood, either. Just in that slow, draggy part of this movie where they all do the 'encounter group' thing...as if any teenagers, anywhere, ever would do this shit. This is where I start thinking about the next movie I wanna see...think it's gonna be "Animal House"...yes, again. John Belushi is da MAN! But, I secretly lust in my heart after that Daniel Day Simpson dude. D-Day. That's the one I'd glue myself to, there. If not Bluto. I love the end song of this movie..."Don't you forget about me..." Reminds me of Gia Carangi. She deserves her own post, though. Hell, just look up her name. Now, SHE was fuckin' GORGEOUS.
Okay. Movies rewinding. "Animal House" is next...then, what? Hmmm. "Porky's", maybe. Or, "Weekend at Bernie's". Or, "NatLamp's Family Vacation"...comedy. Whatever it is, it's gonna be comedy. "The Green Mile" is sitting here, too, but that one makes me cry because I understand all too well why John Coffey wants to die even though he didn't do anything wrong. Don't need that heavy shit, right now.
If I do decide to go 'heavy', I'll make it "The Stand". It's that good. They always find a way to fuck up Stephen King's book when they make 'em into movies, but this one, even with Molly "Fugly" Ringwald, is good.
And..."Animal House" it is.... I'll be back. John Belushi commands my full attention.
(Plus, I need to be cleaning something, or something...I think.)
Posted by: Stevie at 11:15 AM | Comments (45) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
January 02, 2004
Wow!
Somebody seems to have stolen the glob of plastic, viruses and trojans I was callin' a computer and replaced it with....a REAL computer! No more 14 search bars, got my Pop up Blocker back, plus another one, a Google search bar...my God...Paul is...amazing. (And, he's finally posted again...*smirk*)
And, yes, thanks be to Jesus...we did get Yahoo 'Mess'-enger to co-operate again...sheesh.
We re-arranged the tool bars and gave me more room to display actual PAGES, installed some cleaners, some 'spybot murderers'...we did all kindsa shit.
This thing works GREAT now.
I've decided that if I ever get a terminal disease or just really old and I KNOW I'm gonna be dead soon anyway, that I'd like to go back to Tennessee and finish up for Buford. Kill all the relatives of the low-life pieces of shit who took his...ya know? I mean, what are they gonna do? Lock me up? Kill me? Who'd care? I'd be dying anyway. May as well take a few jerkoffs with me, right? In the meantime...I'll just keep on entertaining Daniel. The idea that I can hold his interest blows me away, with the things this guy's done in his life. Go check him out. He's got (yet another) excellent story up about his 'young, dumb and fulla cum' days. He also gave me a wonderful new 'pecker-oriented' insult to use...I can't wait to try it out. (C'mon, somebody...make me mad!) lmao Anyhoo...I've got some shit I hafta go do...then some errands..heh.
I'll be back...
(Of course I will. All my shit is here...lol)
Posted by: Stevie at 03:03 PM | Comments (47) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
January 01, 2004
Mr. John Cappelletti....
Runningback for Penn State. Won the Heisman in '73. Now lives in Southern California, married, kids and a career in the Bio-tech biz. Cripes, trying to find a decent picture of him was a pain...but worth it.
Lord, he's a big'un..6'1" and 260+ lbs. when he played football. Daaaamn. What is it with me and cute old football players tonight?
Posted by: Stevie at 10:07 PM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
About Brian Piccolo...
First of all...he's cute. James Cann really does resemble him. Before I saw this picture, I kept superimposing Sonny Corleone over Caan's face, sort of. Now, I see.
There's a really nice site about him here.
And...the weird thing is...Beyond the Cowboys and the Woodstown High School football team, I'm really not into football much. Although there is one other guy...Joey...Capelletti? Is that his name? Marc Singer played him in the movie "Something for Joey". Or is it Mark Capelletti? John? Tony? Well, I know it ain't Mildred, fer Pete's sake. Siiigh. I'll be back. I've just gotta go find this shit out now. I think that guy might've been from around here somewhere. I'll be back...Oh, and I'm watching "Carrie" now. Sissy Spacek is awesome.
Posted by: Stevie at 09:08 PM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Aww, damn it...
Brian Piccolo is about 5 breaths away from dead...again. (This is where they get me...)
Yeah, I'm still watching movies, sitting here farkin' around with the 'pooter. Right now, I'm at the end of the ORIGINAL, the REAL 'Brian's Song'. The one with James Caan and Billy D. Williams. Caan is in the hospital bed...frick. He's dead.siiiigh....I didn't ever know of the real Brian Piccolo, but he musta been one helluva guy. Oh, good God....there's another movie on this tape. It's "Oh, Heavenly Kid'. About a greaser who dies in the 50's and has to come back and help a nerd, who turns out to be his own son, be cool. That dude from "Empty Nest" plays a guy, a guardian angel I guess, named Rafferty who drives a sputterin' motorcycle and wears a rain slicker thing alla time. "Malcolm in the Middle's" Mom is the girlfriend of the greaser guy, mother to nerd-boy. Swear to God, the guy she winds up married to (the guy greaser-guy is racing when he dies) looks like Neidermier from "Animal House". Hey...yeah...."Animal House"....what am I doin' watchin' this? Frig, man! I need to be watching the "Walking Tall" trilogy. Ach. No hurry.
I'll be here all night, as usual, I suppose. I kinda miss Darrel Buschkoetter, too. That's a three-tape documentary called "The Farmer's Wife" from PBS that I bought. I don't care about the farmer's wife...I like the farmer. Wish I knew how they were doin' these days... Anyhow...back to my movie.
(After I look up Mr. Piccolo.)
Posted by: Stevie at 07:52 PM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
CTRLPAN.DLL...
Wanna get rid of it and the stupid thing that's causing it?
Go here.
Posted by: Stevie at 05:27 PM | Comments (51) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
This just in....
Subject: Windows XP New Joisey Edition
Dear Consumas: It has come ta our attention dat a cupola copies udda Windows XP NewJoisey Edition may have been shipped outsida Joisey. If youse got one a
dese, you may need some help unnerstanin da commands. Da Joisey edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It
reads: "Windas XP", wit a background pitcha a Hoboken. When youse start da
program, instead a da usual hary stringy like music, you hear a little
Springsteen. It's also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.
Please also note: Recycle bin is labeled "Newark" My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa" The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk" Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked", "Erased" or "Rubbed Out" Control Panel is known as "Da Bosses" Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "Enhancin' da Family
Business" and will actually maximize da program instead a shuttin' it down Hard Drive is referred to as "Da Turnpike on Da Way to Da Shore"
Instead of an error message, "You Ain't Gonna Friggin' Believe Dis'" pops up.
Changes in Terminology in Da Joisey Edition: OK .. ... . . Sure ting Cancel . . . . Fugetaboutit Reset . . . . Start ova Yes . . .... . Yeah No ..... . . . Nah Find . ... . . Put a Contract Out On Browse .. . . Get a Looksee Back . . .. .. U-Toin Help . . ... . Get Your Own Friggin' Ansa Stop . . . ... Knock it Off Start . . . . .Move it Settings . . . Here's da Rules
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you mistakenly got
copy of the Joisey Edition (not). You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. You gotta
problem wit dat?
Posted by: Stevie at 05:04 PM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Greeting cards I'd write, if I wrote greetings cards....
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY:
My tire was thumping, I thought it wasflat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry! Heard your wife left you. How upset you must be. But don't
fret about it. She moved in with me. Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder..."What the hell was I thinking?" Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. How could two people as beautiful as you
...Have such an ugly baby? I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you ...I've changed my mind. I must admit, you
brought religion into my life ...I never believed in Hell til I met you. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I
am...That you're not here to ruin it for me. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to
take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee,
Kentucky & West Virginia) Happy birthday! You look great for your age ...Almost lifelike! When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now
that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. We have been friends for a very long time. What say we stop? I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the
father was? Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep. So your daughter's a hooker and it
spoiled your day. Look at the bright side. It's really good pay. Cute, ani't they?
(Honestly...shaking my head and sighing...)
Posted by: Stevie at 11:09 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Happy Thursday....
Well, Paul and I finally found each other and I got to run that CWShredder thing. Excellent. I also re-ran Adaware.
Now, if we could only get YM to connect us again. For some damn, stupid reason he isn't getting my messages. He sees me as online on my profile, but not in his 'friends' list. Odd. He's asleep in my 'friends' list, too. Even tried deleting and re-adding him. Still nuthin'. Yet.
to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you
adapt to the wonderful difference in lifestyles:
The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.
The North has Ted Kennedy,
The South has Jesse Helms.
The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.
The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters,
The South has crawdads.
The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.
In the South: -- If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four
men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along
shortly. Don't try to help them, ! just stay out of their way. This is
what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
store....do not buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's
is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They
can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol" truck or
"big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should
stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever
say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery
store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have
to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn
is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will
accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Well...that one was kinda long. I'll put the others in another post.
Posted by: Stevie at 10:44 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
December 31, 2003
Okay, fine.....
Certain people wanna spout off about killin' cats? Hmph.
My answer to that is a cat-cam. I've got my webcam on, showing my cat. One of ten.
I'm going to leave it on her or one of the others until either SOME PEOPLE knock it off or Paul shows up...whichever happens first.
I have no idea how to tell ya's to tune into the camera except to tell ya that I do it thru Yahoo Messenger, which uses my standard Yahoo ID: srv200163. That's also the first half of my email address. (Wanna take a guess at the last half? Somethin' along the lines of 'at Yahoo dot com' I believe...) See? The Stevie Ray Vaughan theme is consistant from one end to da udder. (Ooohh, speaking of udders....what's the longest cord you can get for one of these things and where?) Annabelle, the Pop-tart eating cow is ready for her close-up, Mr. DeMille.
Posted by: Stevie at 01:19 PM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Ummmmm....
What the FUCK is that? My header has.....aha. The elusive Paul....now I know what happened to my header. That lil booger. (Just got a comment/email from him. Do ya THINK his little YM face is awake? Noooooo. It's still dark, but apparently, he's on here.) Well, of course he is. I hafta go to the bathroom! Naaaaturally.
Paul.Don't leave. I'll be right back, Dude. Give me one (a few) minute(s). Java...show him 'stay', okay? And lick his nose, again.
P.S. Daaamn, Dudley's good. I no sooner post his picture than Paul shows up.
All hail the mighty RCMP!!! Long may they ride (and flush out people who's smiley faces are asleep still...lol)!! P.S. yet again...In the space of time it took me to type the first 'PS', my header changed back from what it had changed TO. I am sooo confused. BUT! Paul's back...that's the cool part.
(Got any SRV images that have to do with 'Caught in the Crossfire'?)
Posted by: Stevie at 07:40 AM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
My main man, Dudley.....
Posted by: Stevie at 07:32 AM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Oh, fer the love of....
Riiiight.
Posted by: Stevie at 12:14 AM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
December 30, 2003
Now I've done it....
I'm goin' ta hell. I've done confused Buford Pusser and porn in someone's mind. Sheriff Pusser's gonna get me for this, I just know it. Don't, fer one second, let the fact that he's no longer alive fool ya. I've seen the man pissed off. So has anyone who has ever seen even one of the "Walking Tall" movies. He wasn't overly thrilled with prostitution, so I doubt like hell he'd like to be confused with porn, either.
So, before I feel a psychic whack from his 'big stick' (*snort*-he'll forgive that one...I couldn't resist), let me enlighten ya.
The three movies are excellent. It is said that the first one, with Joe Don Baker is the best one. I, personally, like the last two better because Bo Swenson is gorgeous...for a blonde. Also, the movies are a bit "Hollywood". Buford's life was extraordinary enough, without all that, but they're still all good.
If you want to find out about the real man...and he was every bit a real man, too...whew...go here. There are more links to him there. Even one by his daughter, Dwana. I had catfish in her restaurant while I was there. And, yes, of course, I did the museum. That's where I got my club and shirt and coffee cup, keychain and the rest of it. Hell, one year, back in Salem County when it was time for the election of the Sheriff, I put a big ol' sign in the back window of my pickup that said "Pusser for Sheriff" and something else like "Even dead he'll do a better job" or something, under it, smaller. (I'm nothing if not a smartass, which is waaay preferrable to being a dumbass, no?) Anyhow....porn=bad, Pusser=excellent human being. Biiiiig difference. (By the way, I'd be more than willing to trade this porn-infestation for having this machine haunted by Sheriff Pusser...ya listenin' Buford?)
Posted by: Stevie at 10:48 PM | Comments (61) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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