John Bender first thing in the morning....
It's kinda like a shot of Jack Daniels, in flames, for breakfast. Whew...God, I love the guy. Judd Nelson is....excellent, himself, but, this one character that he played in "The Breakfast Club"....oofa. John Bender is me as a guy. I mean, if I were a guy, he's exactly like I'd be. Matter of fact, last night, I got a pair of boots (surprise!) to wear with my sweats and shit. (I do hafta go places sometimes where barn boots just don't cut it, although I try to avoid places like that religiously)...(and just by the way...I fuckin' HATE this asshole 'teacher' in this movie. He and Bender are currently racking up the weekend detenions. Lord, I wish Bender would, just once, punch this fuck right in the middle of his face when he (the 'teacher') has him (John) locked in that closet.) Any-flippin'-way...back to my boots....(for one sec..) Wanna guess what I based my decision on as far as whether or not they'd work? Yeah...John Bender. I got me a pair of 'Bender' boots. Black, heavy, lace-up (laces are never, ever to be tied, btw) boots that are the basic work-boot design...only sexy. I put one on, fixed the laces, the cuff of my sweats and looked down...at John Benders leg on my body. I knew right then..."Yep...dese is da ones..." Feminine, they ain't. (Neither am I, tho.) Sexy, they are. (I will be when I get the 'extra person worth of FAT' offa my gut...lol)
Honestly, now...if I were in high school with these people, I'd probably be friends with Brian (the brain) and maybe Ally Sheedy's character, too. People like her are surprisingly cool, when given half a chance. Andrew Clark (Emilio Estavez), I'd hate. Snotty, little preppy athlete shitheel. Pfft. I'd beat his ass my own self. Claire (the ever ugly Molly Ringwald) you can keep, too. Rich-bitch, too good for everybody little cunt-in-training. Bender winding up with HER at the end is the only thing I'd change. Of course, in my mind, he just takes that diamond earring, a piece of ass offa her and blows her off...like she's probably gonna do to untold number of men in her life. Bender would be mine.All mine. And, I'd be wantin' to rip the (fat, ugly) lips offa any chick who got in my way, if I had to....which I wouldn't. Heh. (Oh Gawd...we're havin' lunch now...Claire and her 'bait', Clarks friggin' grocery bag fulla shit and here goes Ally Sheedy with her Pixy-stick and Cap't. Crunch sandwich....Here we go with Brian's lunch..."Who'd yer Mom marry, Mr. Rogers?" "Uh, no...Mr. Johnson..." ) We also got a new what I call 'ass gasket'...my name for a padded toilet seat. Those things are great...til the vinyl starts to crack...and poke and stab and bite and pinch...and is permanantly flattened. At which point going to the bathroom becomes a (slightly dangerous) chore. So...we have a new one which I will put on later. Talk about a pain in the ass...man. Gotta be a guy who designed that crap...those 'bolts' are just soooo easy to work with. Padded seats are the only ones worth going through all that shit for, ya know? Oh good. I hear shots outside. Another chance to wind up with a buncha shot and/or dead jerkoffs. Hope they all shoot each other. Maybe then I could go outta the fuckin' house with having to wear a suit of armour. Assholes. Pfft. Oh here we go...'Teach' is now confronting Bender. This is where I'd like to go after this guy with the Pusser club. He deserves it. With fuckin' teachers like this (and yeah, I know it's a movie. I also know that this guy is not unheard of in the teaching profession...) what chance do guys like Bender have? That is what they're supposed to educate themselves to become? This is what they're (we're) supposed to aspire to? Puh-leeze.
I WANNA KNOW THE END OF THIS FREAKIN' JOKE, DAMN IT.
You know, the one Bender's tellin' himself as he crawls back to the library through the heat vents..."Naked blonde goes into a bar with a 2 foot salami and a poodle, bartender asks 'What can I get you" and the blonde says..."OH SHIIIIIIT!!!" as Bender falls through the ceiling. If I don't find out the end of that joke before I die, I'mina...keep wondering about it, I guess. (lol)
Oh Gawd...now they're gonna go get high. I am sooo jealous. I wanna get high with Bender, myself. Him and Brian. That'd be so cool. Claire can get her own shit, though...she's made of money. (Molly Ringwald makes my gag reflex go into hyper-drive. Fugly bi-atch. I hate her in "The Stand", too. I'm honestly trying to think if I've ever seen her in anything that her big, fat ugly lips and face weren't nauseatingly mesmerizing, thus completely distracting from whatever role she's playing...but nope. There ain't one. She's ugly and that's that.)
Speaking of ugly...I broke down and got some Ephedra-free Metabolife last night. I also got some stuff to get rid of excess water...Diurex. They wanna ban Ephedra, fine. There's always this shit and Exlax. I will get this weight off again and this time, I don't give a damn how many people ask "Does she have cancer, or something?"..I'm keeping it off. If I can't burn it off with jacked-up thermogenics (Ephedra), then I'll piss it off. Or shit it off. Whatever. I'm sick of it.
Jeez, do ya think that maybe if academics were stressed for college atheletes the assholes might learn to read, thus not overdose themselves on OVER THE FUCKIN' COUNTER HERBS when they go pro? Fuckin' losers. Hell, if they're that fuckin' stupid, seems more like 'thinning the herd' than any great tragedy when those jerks die. Thanks to those geniuses I can't have Ephedra. Thanks, Assholes. Hope yer careers all tank. It'd be funnier if yer heads all exploded into flames, but I can live with the idea of y'all being broke, homeless, not famous, not over-paid to do jackshit, sitting there with whizzeled up old man bodies all alone because ya aren't a rounded enough person to even be able to follow label directions, let alone sustain relationships without fame and money. That'd work. I ever see one of you dead dorks graves...I'll go get a coupla beers, slam 'em down, then pee for 9 hours, right on your graves. So there. Sigh. And I'm not in a bad mood, either. Just in that slow, draggy part of this movie where they all do the 'encounter group' thing...as if any teenagers, anywhere, ever would do this shit. This is where I start thinking about the next movie I wanna see...think it's gonna be "Animal House"...yes, again. John Belushi is da MAN! But, I secretly lust in my heart after that Daniel Day Simpson dude. D-Day. That's the one I'd glue myself to, there. If not Bluto. I love the end song of this movie..."Don't you forget about me..." Reminds me of Gia Carangi. She deserves her own post, though. Hell, just look up her name. Now, SHE was fuckin' GORGEOUS.
Okay. Movies rewinding. "Animal House" is next...then, what? Hmmm. "Porky's", maybe. Or, "Weekend at Bernie's". Or, "NatLamp's Family Vacation"...comedy. Whatever it is, it's gonna be comedy. "The Green Mile" is sitting here, too, but that one makes me cry because I understand all too well why John Coffey wants to die even though he didn't do anything wrong. Don't need that heavy shit, right now.
If I do decide to go 'heavy', I'll make it "The Stand". It's that good. They always find a way to fuck up Stephen King's book when they make 'em into movies, but this one, even with Molly "Fugly" Ringwald, is good.
And..."Animal House" it is.... I'll be back. John Belushi commands my full attention.
(Plus, I need to be cleaning something, or something...I think.)
Comments
1
I'm guessing that Bender and Claire got together at the end only because they were so "different" (Hughes's way of showing that the most opposites are the same in the end...).
But, I'm with you, Claire was a bi-yatch of mega-proportions.
I, btw, identified with both Brian and that Ally Sheedy girl. I always saw Bender was an obnoxious bully regardless of his "justification."
I love that movie 'cause it's too real to cheat. The "Little Chill" scene is great!
I wonder if Molly Ringworm is as awkward-looking now as she was then (she was only 15 at the time).
But, I'm with you, Claire was a bi-yatch of mega-proportions.
I, btw, identified with both Brian and that Ally Sheedy girl. I always saw Bender was an obnoxious bully regardless of his "justification."
I love that movie 'cause it's too real to cheat. The "Little Chill" scene is great!
I wonder if Molly Ringworm is as awkward-looking now as she was then (she was only 15 at the time).
Posted by: Tuning Spork at January 03, 2004 10:48 PM (QMRJ/)
2
Hey Stevie, now that ya got that great new Google toolbar, ya gotta use it! After all, Google is the All Knowing Source of Everything.
It would have pointed you to the IMDB trivia page for The Breakfast Club which says:
The joke that Bender tells but never finishes (while crawling through the ceiling) actually has no punchline. According to Judd Nelson, he ad-libbed the line. Originally, he was supposed to tell a joke that would end when he came back into the library and said, "Forgot my pencil", but no one could come up with a joke for that punchline.
'Course that's still hearsay, but the fact that nobody seems to know any punchline for it makes me suspect it's probably correct.
It would have pointed you to the IMDB trivia page for The Breakfast Club which says:
The joke that Bender tells but never finishes (while crawling through the ceiling) actually has no punchline. According to Judd Nelson, he ad-libbed the line. Originally, he was supposed to tell a joke that would end when he came back into the library and said, "Forgot my pencil", but no one could come up with a joke for that punchline.
'Course that's still hearsay, but the fact that nobody seems to know any punchline for it makes me suspect it's probably correct.
Posted by: Light & Dark at January 04, 2004 05:52 AM (Hrm9v)
3
hank you, Lovey.
Is there anything you can't find out? lol...
Is there anything you can't find out? lol...
Posted by: Stevie at January 04, 2004 03:29 PM (9PZMa)
4
I kind of like the idea that bender and claire stay together for a while.... tearing up each others social brick walls. I get the feeling that bender has never had a real girlfriend... just a lot of fuck buddies. I like to imagine that claire becomes more than that to him, and kind of helps him heal all that anger. They both do good for each other...
fuck.. why don't i know anyone like bender for real?
fuck.. why don't i know anyone like bender for real?
Posted by: bird at January 17, 2004 03:03 PM (8zxND)
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