July 13, 2004

Siiiigh....

Yeah, Jane... I can see why you'd refuse this guy.

In fact, with "made up" "JOKES" this bad, he oughta have his keyboard taken away and melted, or something. Jeezus.

Christ, Dude. I hope yer cute, 'cause this shit ain't ever gonna get ya laid. "Laid out", maybe, but not what yer wantin'.

*Totally off-topic, here, but...*

"Cadence" is a kick ass movie. I love the way those guys march. I also love Charlie Sheen. I just hate Martin Sheen (in this one) and what happens to Sweetbread. But, this is a reeeally good movie.

"That's the sound of the men, workin' on the chain ga-a-ang...
Oh, don'tchoo know..."
"Ooh, ahh... ooh, ahh. That's the sound of the men workin' on the chain... gang."

Excellent. Shit gives me goosebumps. (And, so does Charlie Sheen... lol.)

Posted by: Stevie at 08:45 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Oh my friggin' Gawd....

Yvonne almost made me hurt myself laughing.

This little vignette explains sooo much at once. For instance, why I'd rather shoot people than squirrels and why I'd rather shoot MYSELF than ever set foot in a Starbucks, among other things... lol.

That squirrel's name oughta be Stevie. Lil fucker's my twin, no matter what 'e's called, though.

I gotta go watch this again.... rotfl.

More of this kinda stuff can be found here. And, here.

Thanks again, Yvonne! This is too cool....

Posted by: Stevie at 07:55 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 11, 2004

Seperated at birth?

Eric's BC and Rob's BC have GOT to be related.

Posted by: Stevie at 05:11 PM | Comments (55) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

A coupla things...

First off... Hello Person from Earthlink. Hope the weather in Riverside (Ca.) is nice. Feel free to comment next time, if ya want, under aaany post. Doesn't hafta be that one, ya know. And, for the record, I really do like Earthlink, but that whole deal was just bizzare. It was cool though. All's well that ends well and all, plus, I learned something that day, from that whole encounter, that I'm not sure how to articulate, but I like it.

Second... for the last two days, there has been a fly in here that I swear to Gawd weighs more than the Firebird. He's not buggin' me, or anything, like that fly George Carlin finally had to tell off, but, just his size is freakin' me out. Thank goodness he's "nice".

And WHAT, just by the way, is up with those giant yellow jacket-lookin' bee things? I don't mean carpenter bees... They don't bother me. I like watching them buzzing around 'cause they move a lot like helicopters. Never been stung by one, either. What I'm talking about are the ones that look pretty much like yer standard yellow jacket except super-sized. You can even hear 'em, like tiny fighter jets. You wouldn't want one to bounce off ya, because he'd knock you down. I imagine being stung by one of them would be like being pierced with a pole vault pole.

I hate bees. All bees. Except carpenter bees, honey bees and the extinct Belushi bee.

(I still love you, John...)

What else?

Nothin', really. Gettin' the wash done, about to do the pork chops, gonna go out on Storm again once dinners made... eh. Actually, now that I think of it, as stupid as it may sound, I wanna jump in the shower (and stay on the mat 'cause it's slippery when wet, as I tell Eric every time he says that... jump/stay on the mat/slippery in there if yer gonna do that? Ba-dum bump...) and wash my hair before I get on Storm. It may be weird or corny or whatever, but I love the things my hair does, the way it looks and moves and flows when it's freshly washed and the breeze "styles" it. Matter of fact, I'm gonna go one better on that. I'm only gonna dry my bangs and the very front and let the back dry in the sun, on Storm. Better that way anyway. Every time I turn on my dryer, I hear in my head the old saying "Dry it, don't fry it." This'll be a nice change.

Well hell, now I'm thinking "highlight kit", too. That'll hold me til I can find somebody who can get me to trust them enough to let 'em cut it. And, Mikey, before I forget again, I love that idea of before and after. Just trying to think of a way to do it... siiigh and a giggle... without involving my face. Not that it's disfigured (or that it would matter if it was), it worse than that... it's FAT. Know how I call Garth Brooks a big fat pumpkin headed whatever? Well, I'm him with less hat and waaaaay more hair. (And talent, but, let's not go there.)

Eric, of course, thinks thats retarded. Eric is also way cuter than me with no makeup or effort on his part whatsoever, so he just does. not. git. it. He just wakes up, is adorable and stays that way all day. I'd have to spend an hour preppin' myself to even compete and the repair work... gah.

Anybody got, say, a Nixon mask I can borrow? I thought of that because of "Men at Work". The movie with Charlie and Emilio, not that annoying "rock" group. Remember the dead politician they stuck the Nixon mask on? Well, there ya go. Something like that.

Well, I guess I oughta tear to tear myself away from Kevin (Costner), Cheech (Marin), and Dennis (Burkley) and get dinner started. Oh, I know... I'll just give it a minute and the next time that horses ass Don Johnson appears, that'll make it easy to walk away. I cannot stand that smarmy prick. Like to put his wank in a Miami vice and crank it beyond closed. Don't know why, really. He just makes me ill. So does Richard Gere. And Cindy Crawford, buuut, screw this line of thought. I'll be here all day if I don't stop this now.

HEY! I just remembered a question, or two, I have about one of my favorite movies. "Money for Nothing", the one with John Cusack.... What is the whole big danged deal about money being "marked/unmarked" and the money that gets returned not being, or maybe it is, numbered sequentially? It was laundered, I know that and I'm pretty sure I know what that means, but what difference is there and does it make about that other stuff?

Not understanding that hasn't taken away a bit from how much I love that movie, but I do get a little lost during those scenes. The one where they're in the office with the mob guy, I'm too busy giggling at Benicio with the disappearing/reappearing nickle on his forehead when he's laying on the floor. It'd just be nice to understand what they're talking about.

I had a bunch of golf questions for Dad, too, when I started falling in love with "Tincup".

And, if anybody can EVER get me to understand completely "The Godfather II", I'll die from shock. There's so many crosses, double-crosses, and re-double-crosses going on in that movie that I get sooo lost when shit goes down about who did what to whom and why. But, again, not that it matters much. With Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro to look at who needs to keep up, right?

I totally hated Godfather III. Don't even let me get started...

Dinner. Gotta go start dinner, wash hair, get on horse. Right.
Got it.

I'll be back....
Peace

P.S. I see my trackback thing is back. Cool. Wonder where it was?

Posted by: Stevie at 04:41 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 09, 2004

Bada fuck-in' bing, man...

I did it!!! I stood up for myself, toe to toe with dipshits beyond number, and I WON!!!!

Allow me to start at the beginning.

I am a blonde. With boobs. Hence, an airhead. I know this. I'm even FINE with this, except when I cause me shit like I went through today. If I could just remember to pay the stupid Earthlink bill THE INSTANT IT GETS HERE, I'd not have these problems. I realized that in the first place. You can bet your family jewels I won't forget it again for a while, NOW.

Judas Priest, these Earthlink people. Usually, I love 'em. Rob hates 'em. Now, I know why.

This all started on, I believe, June 28th. That was when I realized the bill was supposed to be there in two days and warn't no way in hell it was gonna make it in time. Sooo, I got hold of the chat support people and got an extension, til July 7th, to get it there. I did that. I mailed it on the 2nd.

On Wednesday, the 7th, like I said before, the ijits shut me off.

Soooo, I called them. Got the dumb bitch who made me mad and I called back and got the cool chick. She saw the friggin payment, admitted it was there and submitted some 'form' to get me reconnected in 24 to 48 hours. Fine. No credit cards, none of that crap.

Now, usually, when some company's gonna do this, they don't reeeally make ya do the whole "longest it could be" time. Usually, they'll come across in half the full amount of possible time. Not these wienies.

Still, I waited til it had been, like, 44 hours and decided to give them a little nudge and see what was up...

So began the most bizzare series of exchanges I've ever been subjected to. I even c&p-ed my last entire chat with "Darrell".... *rolling eyes at the too recent memory*

I decided to go with the chat people again this time, as they usually seem to be the only ones with any brain function. Well, my God. Not anymore. The first guy I "chatted" with WHILE I was also workin' phone support with the cell, was such a buttwad. That dink couldn't say one f-in' WORD that wasn't written in what I imagined to be one of those little flip-card books or some manual. Since he just kept repeating the same few pat phrases, I mostly concentrated on the phone boneheads. I just kept stringin' chatboy along every time he'd ask if I was still there. I flat out told him, when he told me for the 20th time that there was nothing he could do about my issue and that since I was on with phone chat that I didn't really need him, basically... tough shit. My favorite part went something like this...

Dipshit: Please understand that there is nothing I can do to remedy your issue.

Me: Please understand that I'm annoyed now and if Earthlink is gonna be a pain in MY ass, I'm gonna be a pain in theirs right back.

Dipshit: But there's nothing I can do about your issue. You have phone support, you don't need me.

Me: Well, there's nothing I can do about your "issue" with wanting to disconnect, either, but we're stuck with that, you and I.

It went on pretty much like that for about an hour, while at the same time, I was wrangling with the dillholes at phone support.

I told this fuckin' story soooo many fuckin' times, to so many useless drones that I can barely stand to repeat it again, but I want this outta my mind right NOW, so I can get rid of this headache and go get on the horse without biting a chunk outta the saddle or something...

Aanyway, I got "transferred" more times than I can even remember. There were two basic stories these dolts were handing me. One was that everything was fine and I'd be back on "soon", the other was that whole other pile o'shit about the credit card thing. First one version, then the other, over and over ad infinitum.

The only thing each of these drones agreed on was that, yes, my payment was there on time. HOWEVER.... since it hadn't been posted in time, I got shut off, left off and was expected to pay the reconnection fee.

Well, I went insane, apparently, because I didn't get (too) pissed (for too long).
What I did was wore the bastards down with LOGIC. Me... logic. My Dad'll pee himself when he sees THAT.

First, I got "Carl", the supervisor in Customer Service to agree, once and for all, that none of this was my fault (except the part where I shoulda just paid the goddamnned thing when it GOT here, which, oddly enough, not one of these people ever brought up...) and that I WOULD be reconnected... by MONDAY with the reconnect fee.

Ya know how sometimes the best strategy for winning is to retreat a little? Well, I did that. I left Carl thinking that what we had discussed was good. It wasn't "good" yet, but it was enough.

I then turned back to the chat-assholes. I had dumped the first drone and this was a whole new person, so I just immediately and veeeery politely asked for a supervisor straight off. Well, "Edward" wanted to try handling this himself.

The rest is in the extended entry in the form of the whole chat session.

Give it a read, if ya wanna see my first time ever (or at least that I can remember) of standing up for myself, sanely and without backing down. I barely even cussed. I did so good... *grin*

Suffice it to say, I've got my stupid Earthlink back, I ain't payin' no got-damned reconnect fee and you'll notice I didn't rush out and obtain any credit cards, altho I could have with all the time I spent of hold, fer fucks sake. And, UGH, what icky-friggin' music they have for THAT. I'd rather be deaf, next time, thanks.

Read on Mac Duff....

Posted by: Stevie at 05:02 PM | Comments (20) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Oh. My. GAWD!!!! How did you stay sane????? I would have thrown myself off the nearest overpass after a conversation like that. Holy shit...

What a bunch of cunts.

Posted by: Funkalicious at July 09, 2004 05:47 PM (JjOt1)

2 Holy sheep shit Batman!!

That's enough to make you want to pull out the Remington Pump and do like the Doobie Brothers: Takin it to the Streets....

Posted by: Mad Mikey at July 09, 2004 05:47 PM (NmR1a)

3 ..."I feel like I'm being screwed and not kissed"...
Great line, had me oozing coffee out my nose. Can I borrow it? Kudos on not using asshat, clownf*ck, f*cknut, ect during the conversation. I woulda lost it.

Posted by: Kenna at July 09, 2004 07:58 PM (h8fVz)

4 Holy fucking christmas. I would not have been so patient. Sister, you've impressed the hell outta me! And those fuckers are lucky as all hell to still have you as a customer!!!

Also loved the "not kissed" comment. I always say that "If you're gonna screw me, at least push my panties aside, will ya?" Keep that on file for your next complaint!

Posted by: dawn at July 09, 2004 09:05 PM (Zgn4s)

5 Persistance Pays Off!! Proud of you, Babe. I've
learned never to accept the first seven lines of bullshit they feed you from the old 'how to get rid of complaints and complainers' card. Of course, these poor nitwits are being paid about $3.75/hour, are pregnant,divorced with two children,or can't qualify for the high standards required to attain a security guard or shelf stacker job,(no insult intended for such jobs; I've had more menial in my life, and your brother
is one of those security guards, between Marine
responsibilites and school.). The point is, these
folks are paid a pittance to frustrate callers into giving up. I know you ain't in love with giving up, but you usually spew out languange that would enbarrass a Marine D.I.and at least burn the hair around the target's ears. A couple more 'hold for 10 minutes,pleases' and another 48 hour period would have been up, anyway!
Real glad you got the bastards. By the way, I read your blog at least five times a week, but don't want to be clogging up you testifys with all my blather. Love you, Dad.

Posted by: haveayen at July 10, 2004 02:44 PM (X3UAW)

6 You. GO. Girl.

Makes AOHell "Customer Care" look like a bunch of frilly-bottomed sissys, huh?

I agree with the rest of the commenters; I would have been looking for a clock tower. . .

Posted by: Emma at July 10, 2004 03:08 PM (NOZuy)

7 Dear Stevie - A.) My guess is the statement, "I'm a blonde", came after the delicious photo atop your page, B.) Boobs, yes , most definatly, and C.), I've been reading you long enough to know that you're NOT an airhead. Knock off the self-deprecating BS ... you are one tough, intelligent broad, (which, while not PC, is the highest form of flattery). Deal with it. Love, Terry

Posted by: Terry Reynolds at July 11, 2004 04:12 PM (TLRTu)

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Oh, real cute...

Is there a spycam somewhere in my house? This weeks Cheddar is... ironic, considering.... (see blogroll to get to CheddarX, til I get this farkin' thing to "find" Xfire again, m'kay?)

Here ya go...

1. What is your earliest memory (presumably as a baby but maybe not)?

I have two. One is my dad feeding me lima beans one at a time, in the livingroom of the house we first lived in. I was in my high chair and he was in his white vinyl recliner. We moved out of that house before I was a year old. The other one, I know how old I was, because it was JFK's funeral. The FIRST time it ever aired. I remember where I was then, too. In the livingroom of the house portion of my Grandmom's store. The TV was a huge walnut-cabineted thing, with four about 4" legs and a waffle screen thingy over the speaker. It had numerous knobs on the front of it. I was laying on the floor, on a blanket, seeing this "horsey" on TV. It was the black "funeral horse" with the backward boots in the stirrups. The one being led, not ridden. I remember he was kind of excited and not leading well.

2. What scares or scared you most about having kids?

HAVING. KIDS. (period)

3. How did your life change or how do you think your life will change when you have children?

Judging by what I see around me when it comes to people having kids, getting dumped and having to go thru hell, either trying to collect OR pay child support, not to mention the not being able to go anywhere ever again without it becoming a huge, not-worth-it production, the time, blood, sweat, tears, cash and aggravation, I'd say my life would plummet straight to hell without even benefit of a handbasket if I was some poor bass-tid's mother. And, Christ on a pogo-stick FORBID I ever had a fuckin' girl... *shudder*

4. What is your favorite thing about babies?

That not one of the dopey little barf/shit machines has ever lived in my house.

5. Is there anything sweeter than a sleeping baby?

Got all fuckin' year? If yer wantin' a "no" outta me, ya shoulda asked "Is there anything that's NOT sweeter than a sleeping barf/shit machine?"

Plus, they drool CONSTANTLY.
Ew, ew, ewewew.

*grossing out much like a little boy who just got slobbered on by a GIRL! for the first time ever*

Need to go shower now.... Thanks to this, there COULD BE baby-cooties on me...

Gah.

Posted by: Stevie at 06:22 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

*Cuing up "Godfather" theme music*

Daaaa, daa daa daa, da, dada....

Ladies and Gentlemen, he has done it. The Blogfather (of mine) has blown the DOORS offa one million hits. He did that around 6:15 pm last evening.

He was at a million, nine hunnert and five when I just left there.

I stand in awe.

(I'd like to say I stand in awe and ovate, as in standing ovation, but that word, ovate, means 'shaped like an egg', which sounds sorta stupid, so I'll just go with my usual...)

*Wild cheering, clapping and foot stomping"

Posted by: Stevie at 05:49 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Well, great...

(As of 12:30am...)
Lose a cat, gain a period.

Don't suppose we coulda done this the opposite way, huh?
I'd feel ever s'much better about sending my 'lil buddy' to Philly and keeping the kitten, ya know?

Siiiigh.

Ah well, fuck it.
That's two things offa my "drivin' me bugfuck" list, right?

Posted by: Stevie at 12:36 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 08, 2004

Well, I can't argue with this...

Wackiness: 60/100
Rationality: 40/100
Constructiveness: 42/100
Leadership: 46/100

You are a WEDF--Wacky Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you a menace to society, depending on how you channel your energies. You chew your fingers and have an addictive personality. Properly guided, you can be enormously productive--otherwise you run amok, stir up trouble, and generally have a hell of a good time.

To your friends, you are a source of relentless entertainment. You often get into trouble, but you almost always find a way out. You are strangely popular and feed off others' energy. You live hard, seize the day, and although your more sober friends would like to see you settled down, you generally have fewer regrets and better memories than they do. Your tenet is that, at the end of the day, one regrets only what one didn't try. You are right.

You could benefit from outside help in balancing your highs and lows. Or perhaps cutting back on the caffeine.

Found this over at Jett's. Pretty damned dead-on. I'm impressed.
Thank you for pointing it out, Jett...

Test itself is here.

Posted by: Stevie at 02:55 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 07, 2004

Have ya ever...

been so bunged up/annoyed/incredulous that you just aren't quite sure how to start?

God, I hate that shit. I sat here for the longest time, trying to come up with an alternate title for this post.... I just didn't know where to start.

My original title was "Fuck a clue 'stick', let's try a club, shall we?", because the subject matter really pissed me off when it happened and it still bugs me today. Then, shit like this comes up and gggrrrrr. I get too pissed to even want to try sorting it all out and being concise and not cussing so much that it takes away from the point. (I do do that....)

The subject matter also gives me pause for thought, because of the original subject matter. Said incorrectly, this whole goddamned thing could get somebody severely hurt.

Now, truthfully, there are only two people involved here that I care to ty to protect that way... me and Rob. Anybody else who gets 'offended', has their own issues, because, while you might figure out who my "representitive dillhole" is, I'm not using any names or links to this person and I don't even know who everybody else was, because pretentious, sanctimonius people bore me, so I don't read them, hence did not see for myself what they were doing.

One guy, however, stood out. He kinda wanted to, with the thing he was runnning and he certainly was not the least bit demure about de-linking Rob and never shutting up about it, but, when the same thing is said by someone else, it's not even acknowledged in any meaningful way.

Tell ya what... this may take a minute, so let's go sit on the porch and get comfortable, okay? Don't forget your beer...

Posted by: Stevie at 12:34 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Wow, great post!! You make some excellent points.

I remember the post you're speaking of and while I don't particularly like Rob in general, I felt he spoke a truth that most people don't want to look at. But I do have to say I didn't like his use of the "N" word, if only because (to me) it represents racism, slavery and repression. It is considered to be derogatory. I know black people say it to each other all the time, but it has a different meaning in that context. Cosby shouldn't have used it, either. He could have made his point without it, but since he did, you're quite correct about the hypocrisy involved.

As for the delinkers, well, there tends to be a lot of that "jumping off the cliff" thing whenever there's a big controversy in the blogoshere. One or two people delink a certain blogger for what they feel are valid reasons and a whole flock of delinkings follow by people who want to be seen as "cool". Kinda reminds you of high school. Sad that we can't seem to evolve past that mentality.

Ok, I'll shut up here, but again, great post.

Posted by: Funkalicious at July 07, 2004 01:17 PM (JjOt1)

2 If I understood this post - don't let it get at you Stevie. If people are going to get bent out of shape about someone's language, that is their problem.

I admit that I have practically NO clue as to what exactly is happening but it's something along the lines of Person A used ****** in a post and Persons B thru Q are 'offended'. Is that right?

Now, if that's correct and Person A used ****** in a context --> "blah blah blah said ******* blah blah blah" -- then there's no harm IMO. But if Person A used ****** as in "blah blah blah you dumb ignorant ******!!!!", then there is a problem.

However, I don't think that the second case is the one that we're dealing with (doesn't Mikey ever SHUT UP??!) since you're not that type of lady to defend someone being a gutter-mouth.

Well, now I think I'm really confused.....good post though.

Posted by: Mad Mikey at July 07, 2004 01:39 PM (NmR1a)

3 Thank you both... *smile* I was hoping I'd get this across the way I meant it and it seems like I have, except for maybe one point...

In the original post, that word was used numerous times. I think that, rather than the context in which it was used, is what got everybody stirred up. It was used as an adjective, more or less. If I remember correctly, there were even quotation marks around the phrase in which it was used the most.

There were a few people who, in Rob's defense, pointed to the 1st Amendment. I (silently) agreed with that, but couldn't help ending the thought with, "Still..." Know what I mean? It's just not the way I'd have put it, maybe. But, knowing how well spoken he usually is, I didn't choose to be horrified by this one post.

To my way of thinking, the reaction it got said more about the people who freaked than it did about the use of the word in the first place. Especally if you looked past it to the point, the real truth of the post.

So, in a real sense, I'm neither defending the use of that word, nor screeching about it. That's not my point, for one thing. For another, I think my views on that word can be very well ascertained by how often I use it... *wink* Just because I don't, doesn't mean I have any right to censor anybody else and I'm not gonna blow off a person like Rob over something like that.

So he said something in a brutally frank, raw and 'not p.c.' way. Honestly, who among us hasn't, in one way or another and probably more than once? Maybe you or I don't use that exact word, but, if you've responded in any kinda honest manner to 'yer basic troll' (and who hasn't?), I can guarantee, SOMEBODY could get themselves all het up over a word or two that was used.

My biggest point with this post is to point out the utter and blatant hypocrisy, double standard and even racism that is all over this situation like stink on shit.

We have Mr. Perfect delinking Rob and making a huge public deal about it because of the word Rob used, then when someone else uses the same exact word, in the same exact context, that same guy who wanted to publically flog Rob thinks the second guy oughta be quoted in Bartlett's Quotations. The absolute ONLY difference between the two people who "publically" used that word is that one is white and the other isn't.

Da fucks up with that?

I smell bullshit in staggering amounts and it's coming from the direction of those delinkers. This guy certainly doesn't have a monoploy on it, but his sure is the most fragrant/flagrant.

I'm just sayin'...

Posted by: Stevie at July 07, 2004 04:18 PM (0GxU5)

4 So, what are you REALLY trying to say Stevie....?

Posted by: Mad Mikey at July 07, 2004 05:06 PM (NmR1a)

5 Very passionate, darlin.' I appreciate the kind thoughts, but always remember one thing. People are pissed off at words in direct porportion to their inability to handle TRUTH.

Got-damn! Such people have turned our language into a PC tap-dance. I refuse to hop to that jig.

OOPS! Did I just drop another racial insult?

Posted by: Acidman at July 07, 2004 09:35 PM (MdHRM)

6 I've long held that very opinion...
And, probably, but, ya know what?

Fuck 'em.

We try to speak in such a manner as to please everybody, not only will every point be lost before it's even thought of, we're also gonna sound even sillier than, again, Mr. Cosby on his "Himself" album when he talks about how retarded you sound trying to edit yourself while talking to a child. "Why, you little..." "You rotten son-of-a..." " I oughta kick yer..."

There's a LOT of truth in humor....
Unfortunately, for some, there's not a lotta humor in truth, though. Maybe that's another reason why they find it so hard to handle.

Posted by: Stevie at July 07, 2004 10:41 PM (AaBEz)

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July 05, 2004

Much better...

I talked to Paul last might about my arm and hand deal. I mostly knew what it wasn't but, I wanted to be sure. Cat bites are nothing to play with, really. Turns out I'm good to go on that for a few more years. I had a tetnus shot sometime after 2000, while I was working for Wally. They're good for, like 10 years, so, thank God for that.

Paul said it sounds almost like tendonitis. The fact that I fell asleep on the floor, with my head on my arm didn't help at all. He said to take Ibuprofen and apply heat and maybe get some actual SLEEP sleep for a change....

I did all that after I cleaned the dog-yard and the dog mini-barn out back. I picked up all the crap they'd shredded, raked up the poopage, removed and replaced the straw in the shelter and gave myself a bigger-around-than-a-cigarette blister on the inside bottom of my (right, of freakin' COURSE) thumb. Right on the side of the knuckle nearest my hand, so every time I flex anything it hurts. The good news is, that's all that hurts, now. The steak knife and arthritic hand have quit the shit, thank you, Paul. I also finally got a decent amount of sleep. Since Thursday, I've slept for less than three hours the first two days and less than six hours the last two. That includes today.

I don't know why, but here lately I seem to be runnin', runnin', runnin' til I just drop, then I sleep for the barest minimum amount of time and get up and start runnin' again, staying up, doing shit, watching tapes and hangin' around like a friggin' bat all night long. My hand to GOD, I am a nightshift person from the ground up. That's fine too, works just great, til I hafta do something that involves... EW... 'day people'. There's something cool about 'night people'. They think differently. Act differently. Are different. For the most part, they're really kinda cool.

I'm not sure why, but there are, thankfully, very few anal-retentive, uptight nimrods who work nights. They seem to be pretty much restricted to day shift, mostly mornings, too. Some afternoon shifts, maybe, but rarely ever any at night. That's one of the biggest reasons I so love working nights. Fewer dipshits.

Anyway...

I now have somewhere in the vicinity of 15 or so emails waitin' for a reply, but... I also have one out I'm waiting to hear back from... deudderson. *ahem* *muttering to self* "git me all excited about Cowtown people from days gone by, make me remember all those names then... nuttin" siiiigh. Du-uude." Oh, and by the way, I forgot to ask ya d., do ya recognize the guy on my sidebar? If ya don't, it really wouldn't be surprising, seeing as how the 'person' who owns the place (Cowtown, that is) steadfastly refuses to acknowledge the guys past existence... or him, when he was alive.

Okay, got some dishes to do, a bed to re-sheet and critters to feed. This won't take long and I will be back in a bit.

Peace.

Posted by: Stevie at 11:17 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Too cool...

I'm futzin' around in my referral logs again and not only do I find that I'm #4 (!) for "Wheely Willy" now, I'm also in the top 10 for the "who would even to think to look this up?" category with the word "duuuude". Somebody looked up that word and I'm #8.

I rather like that one. Lord knows I say it often enough. Usually follwed by, "What are you doing?" I do love men, but Jesus, do they find some goofy got-damned ways to do shit sometimes.

Bill, the guy who owns this place for instance, thinks it's a good idea to squirt water on an overheated electrical panel. You know, with circuit breakers and shit? God forbid he should actually FIX IT. He also said he wants me to do a Mexican Hat Dance really step on my cigarettes and be sure they're out anywhere in the barnyard/freestall area lest a bird swoop down, grab the left-lit-cigarette-stub and fly into the barn with it and drop it in the hay mow.

Cause, like, ya KNOW birds do that. That's soooo much more likely to cause his barn to burn than squirting water into an electric panel.

Ya see what the hell I hafta deal with around here? And... HE'S THE FRIGGIN' "BOSS". (May the Lord Bless and Keep Us... all the hell away from that nutjob.)
(Christ, he makes me miss Wally and Wally usedta make me wanna kick his ass at least three times a week.)

Eric just always does shit the hard way. Ya know how there's usually two ways to do something? There's the quick, easy, yet maybe the slightest bit unconventional, way to do a thing, then there's the "workin' for the Department of Motor Vehicle Services" way, where ya make a simple thing a day long oddessy into hell? He does that.

I, on the otherhand, am the "Miss Permanant Jury Rig" of my generation. Sure, I use a lot of ducT Tape ("Home Improvement" reference... to be said with those T's really emphasized and even a little spitting going on...) and coat hangers, but dammit, stuff stays fixed forever, which, coincidentally I'm sure, is exactly how long it takes y'all to get around to "really" fixing shit.

FOR INSTANCE.... *snerk*... About, oh a week or two ago, Eric "had a confrontation" we'll say, with the bottom panel of the front screen door. He was already pissed and, as inanimate objects are wont to do, it decided to pick that day and time to get cute, so... he kicked it's ass. Now, it looks like hell and the kittens are eyeing it as a possible escape route and he said, when I asked him about it the first time about a week after he did it, that he would fix it "tonight" when he got done milking.

Well, that was about 4 or 5 or 6 days ago and yesterday, first thing in the morning- like around 5:00am- I asked him (outta the blue, more or less) "When is it gonna be the night?" He looked at me all googly eyed and said "What night?" I said , "The night yer gonna fix the door..." which earned me an eyeroll and a "stk" sound as he poured his o.j.

I'll be fixing that a little later myself. It'll just be easier on everybody, including the door. Truth be told, I've had to fix this very thing on several doors that were dumb enough to fuck with me at the wrong second, so...

Ya know... It just occured to me as I re-read this that Eric, that little snot, IS doing this "easy" way by letting go til I do it myself. Heh. Little shit.

Aah, well, I love 'im, he's cute, well hung... I'll let 'im live, as usual.

This'd be a lot easier to get done (along with all the other shit I wanna do today) if I hadn'ta frigged up my right (of course) arm and hand. Apparently, I slept on it wrong and now it feels like I smashed my palm with a hammer on purpose and like there's a steak knife in my shoulder. I can't make a decent fist, nor lift a cuppa coffee without it hurting and lighting cigarettes is sheer agony. Ain't a whole lot better with my left hand on that last one, if for an entirely different reason. There are lots of things I can do with either hand, but flickin' a Bic ain't one of 'em. I usually wind up bouncing the lighter offa my face or somehow flying it halfway across the room when I try it with my left hand. It's like my left hand is retarded or something.

Yeah, speaking of shit I cannot do left handed... siiigh. Of course now that my right hand is not functional, my little terrorist buddy decides it's time for a comeback. He's not here yet, but he's making himself known, as it were. And, here I sit, with Ben Gay from shoulder to fingertip and I use O.B.'s. Now, that could make things "interesting", hey? I don't wanna start with them thangs til I have to and I'm not gonna sit here in pain whilst I wait, so... See why I call this place what I do? Jeez.

Alrighty then, on that note....

I haven't forgotten the post I wanna do, or Brando or the emails. I've just been a little busy, a little crippled and a lot "going to hell on that road that's paved with good intentions". You know... the teflon expressway? Yeah, that one...

I will get to it all.
Peace.

Posted by: Stevie at 06:24 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 03, 2004

It 'centered' me, alright...

If by 'centered' we mean 'smoked my ass'.

Hoo-wee, man. Last thing I remember, after finishing off the equivalent of a full bottle of Takillya Rose, is going to the bathroom, realizing how hot it was and wanting to... not hafta have clothes on, but I also didn't want my hair sticking to every square inch of me either, so I took my nightshirt mostly off and left it on my head, around my hair, with my face clear of it. I looked like a kid trying to play "pretend ya have long hair with a towel or pillowcase wrapped round yer head". After I got done reading *ahem*, it suddenly occured to me just how good it would feel to lay down in air conditioning, so I did. This was around... noonish.

Next thing I know it's 5:30.

Whew. I'm alive. No hangover, either. Cool.

I come out here and see that Nutjob has had a second kid this time. Lord, I hope she didn't play another round of 'hand-kitten' with this one...

The kids are here and all the male people, including Jon, who just dropped in, are currently outside doing manly kindsa things... one group is gathered around a grill, cooking hotdogs and burgers and the other is dismantling the headlights on the 'Bird because they won't come or stay open without ya get outta the car, go under the hood and physically make the lift-thing lock in, so they stay up. Then, half the time, they won't both go down, either. Friggin' car drops more 'winks' with those headlights than a dirty old man.

I, on the otherhand, am in here watching a 6 hour H.R. Puf-n-Stuf tape. I still need to finish the house. Run the vacuum, crap like that. Nothing major. I'm also going back to the store again. Forgot some stuff yesterday.

I already asked George if he's gonna be here tomorrow and he said he is, so I'm gonna try AGAIN making one of those big-assed brefkistes and see he can actually BE HERE for once.

Also, I think I've made up my mind to get my hair styled. Not CUT. Styled. Yes, I know they're gonna hafta use scissors, but, they don't need to do any more than trim the back, for what I want done. Matter of fact, the only hair I'm even putting at risk is the hair on the front third to half of my head. That, I want 'layered', or whatever the hell they call that style I had back in high school. It was GORGEOUS back then, my hair was and it's gonna be again. I'll be taking pictures with me of that style, so it oughta come out right. If not, I'll just calmly remove the scissors from the stylist's hands and plunge them into her eyeball.

What? Seems about right to me... you mess up the way I look and I mess up the way YOU look... as in 'with both eyes', for instance.

Be back in a bit...
Peace

Posted by: Stevie at 10:09 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Dear Stevie - Careful with those scissors, darlin'. Most hairdressers are hard-wired to think they know better than you do what to "take off". When you say, "Just a trim", they think that's up to six inches. You might consider printing up your post, (threat), and handing it to her before you get in the chair. Just sayin'. Besides, I think you're gorgeous just the way you are. Love, Terry

Posted by: Terry Reynolds at July 04, 2004 09:51 AM (2897m)

2 Stevie, you should do one of those BEFORE and AFTER photos if you're going to revamp the hair.

I'm certain that we'd all love to see the change and compliment you on it.

Have a GREAT Fourth of July!!

Posted by: Mad Mikey at July 04, 2004 03:06 PM (oU7Lv)

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Wanna see my Pusser club?

I'm still listening to the Beatles. 'Bout to switch to Larry Gatlin, then, I swear, I'm takin' the music with me and gettin' on the horse.

In the meantime, here's a picture I found of the exact same Pusser Club I drove from New Jersey to Adamsville Tn, in a Ford Bronco who's tranny was falling out, to obtain.

THIS is what I wanna smack some people with. Holding it, is Dwana, Buford's daughter...

Ya know, ya knock about 30-35 pounds offa her and add a foot of length to her hair and she and I could pass for sisters. Oh, and have that club cocked like a baseball bat, over the right shoulder, if ya wanna better idea of me. Put a grin on the kisser, too.

Anyhoo, this is real deal. God forbid I ever wear my leather and have that monster 'stick' in my hands when I get pissed... scares me to think about it.

I have used that thing in defense of Eric, once. A bull went after him at Wellacrest and did my best to break that bastard bulls back with it. Sumbitch forgot allll about Eric. As would anyone when I'm armed that way and in 'defense' mode.

Actually, you'd get farther trying to mess with me than mess with Eric. I'll put up with a certain amount of shit when it's directed at me, but... if it's directed at Eric, while it's being delivered, I'll be doing my best to take yer head off. He is not to be even looked at wrong.

Know what I mean?

Alright, Larry's singin' at me and I'm either gonna start typing lyrics ot singing what I'm writing so I'm gonna go drink more Takillya sing.

And, no, I haven't forgotten my next "core a jerk a new asshole" post. I'm just "post"poning it a bit.

I'm havin' too much fun right now...

Peace
or Tequila-
whichever does it for ya.

(P.S... I can't feel my lips no more 'cept with my fingers. I think my teeth are numb, too.)

Posted by: Stevie at 10:54 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Buford Pusser had the right idea!!

Posted by: Mad Mikey at July 03, 2004 02:11 PM (TAP1e)

2 It appears that the tequila has 'centered' you.

Whatever works, right?

Posted by: Jett at July 03, 2004 05:02 PM (cvaZT)

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I know what I said I was gonna do, but...

I'm not on the horse yet.

Instead, since Eric is outside, the INSTANT George left, I played "Rock of Life" maxed out about three times and now I've got the Beatles "One" CD blasting.

And, seeing as how I've had about two and half hours of sleep since Thursday afternoon and I've been made to cry, then bleed in less than twelve hours, I've decided that a little Takillya (to borrow a phrase from Jett) Rose is in order.

Why not, ya know?

Back to the Fab Four...

Posted by: Stevie at 09:28 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 I SWEAR I just commented....and if you have delayed commentses, I'm gonna feel like an ass, but I wrote:

*ahem* 'takillya' *cough*

....and if you look to the right of your screen, and mouseover those little snappy things, VOILA! Links! An archive link is there, as well.

Thanks for the mention, girl.

Posted by: Jett at July 03, 2004 10:22 AM (cvaZT)

2 Go immediately to your local music store and buy "Big & Rich - Horse of A Different Color" CD.

Come home, put CD on/in player, get favorite beverage and spark up a fatty. Crank volume ALL the way up!

Prepare to be blown away by the latest evolution of Country-Rock! If you ain't a fan of Hillbilly moosic, you will be after this!

Enjoy and have a Happy 4th of July!

Save a Horse. Ride a Cowboy.

d.

Posted by: deuddersun at July 03, 2004 11:33 AM (zQ66s)

3 Yup... Eric mentioned that song the other day. As a former bullrider (a.k.a. 'cowboy'), he kinda likes that idea.

So does Storm, for that matter...

(Not that I'm adverse to it... but, I'd hate like hell to get the two confused. Besides, the saddle doesn't fit Eric like it does Storm....)

Friggin' Tequila.

Posted by: Stevie at July 03, 2004 12:05 PM (L67Hf)

4 Why ain'tchu lissenin' to it right now, then?

Former saddle-bronc here. After numerous falls, kicks, bites, (not to mention cycle mishaps) and 32 broken bones and over 200 stitches, I now prefer gentle old Dodge 4X4's with off-road packages and rifle racks. I was never very good but I liked the excitement. Maybe this summer I'll head over to Cowtown and take another shot at it fer old times sake, sigh...

d.

Posted by: deuddersun at July 03, 2004 12:38 PM (zQ66s)

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Well, this has been an eventful three hours...

I swear to God I am in the fuckin' Twilight Zone.
The past three hours have been odd, to say the least and it's kinda making it's own circle... like a 'time taco' or something.

At around 5:00, I decided to hook up these speakers George found at hs sons house. They're JUSTer Active 95A 'Integrated Amplifier and Speaker System' jobs. I'm not sure what all that tech-jargon means, but I can tell ya this: These things are AWESOME. They've got seperate treble and bass controls and with the volume on 4 (out of 9), it's plenty loud enough for me to not be able to hear all the activity outside, even with all the windows wide open. They are incredible. Rick Springfield never sounded so good.

Anyway, I hooked 'em up and just made sure they worked then, because George was still asleep. After I got Eric up, I heard this kitten screaming. I raced to the window to make sure it was outside then flew out the door in just my (thigh-length) nightshirt. Didn't see anything, but damn... I knew I heard something. Little while later, I hear it again and this time I see what it is without even getting out of this chair when Chyna, the latest farm cat to move in here jumped through the window with a(nother) baby in her mouth. She had her kittens outside, God and her only knew where a few days ago. Apparently, she's decided to move 'em in here. I'm so honored by that trust. She's got 'em under George's bed. There are FIVE of them.

Then, about an hour ago, Erica-the cat that had the first single kitten in the last go-round not too long ago- shot out of the bottom of the cat condo shrieking her head off. She flew into Lamar, beat the shit outta her, bit me when I broke 'em up, threatened Olson's life, then had a baby as she raced across the kitchen. She jumped for the window and the kitten fell out and slid into the bottom of the cabinets like a gooey hockey puck and good old MOM leaped out the window.

This all happened in less than a minute. I just stood there bleeding, looking at the other two cats, like "What the fuck...?" I went and got the poor, now probably scarred-for-life kitten off the floor, cleaned it's widdle face off and about that time Nutjob came back in, shot me a look and crawled back into the cat condo. I gave her her kid and a piece of my mind. "Da fucked ya bite ME for, idiot? And, just by the way, what are you doing having another kid this got-damned soon, anyway? Jeez."

I peroxided my hand AGAIN and now, here I am, sitting in front of these wicked speakers, waiting to hear "Rock of Life" at the max volume.

Chyna and her herd are fine. She's out here now, eating some dry food. Nutjob Erica is still in the condo with just one kid. I hope for both our sakes she keeps it at that number.

In less than three hours, I went from 17 to 23 cats.

I think I need to go for a ride in the woods for a while.

Hey, Eric...(my Eric)

"Cat!"
(Remember?)

Peace

Posted by: Stevie at 09:00 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 God damn. ...

Posted by: dawn at July 03, 2004 08:31 PM (Zgn4s)

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Wheely Willy...

So, I'm sitting here, "watching" Money for Nothing (yes, again) and waiting for the aspirin I just took to make my headache piss off already and reading FARK.

Drew has a link to a story about a little dog, named Wheely Willy, who is disabled. I, of course, click the link and read the story. Between Willy himself and the photographic evidence of the effect he has on people, I wanted to find out more.

I entered "Wheely Willy" into the search bar and the first about 5 results must be 'lanched, because you can't get to them. However.... I found another one.

An even better one.

I dare you to go there. Read the story and just look at those Veterans with that heroic and inspirational little dog. If that doesn't just getcha righthere, ya might wanna take that rock you must have for a heart and toss it in a microwave or something for a few minutes to thaw it out.

The only thing that could possibly be more incredible than what Willy does for those men and others, the way he so obviously makes them feel, would be if it were a person doing it... ya know?

*Fade out to the opening melody and first eight words of the Everly Borthers "All I Have To Do Is Dream"...*

Posted by: Stevie at 03:24 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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July 02, 2004

Okay, here's the plan...

I hafta go to the grocery store in a few minutes, so this is gonna be short... (I think).

*I heard that, ya know. All those "Yeah right"'s and "Oh please"'s... You keep rolling yer eyes like that and they'll get STUCK that way.*

Anyway, when I get back, I have a few things I've just gotta do. Bear with me while I run through 'em real quick, so I don't forget anything later.

First of all, the boys'll be here tomorrow and the house needs about an hour or so of attention. No biggie.

I'd like for the last thing I post to be a little tribute to Brando. Cool.

I have four emails to write back to before I post this one thing I'm gonna 'express an opinion about'. Scroff, Mikey , Pixey and Mad Wm.... You guys made me feel lots better. Matter of fact, Scroff and Pixy made me laugh so hard I almost cried... again. I'm thinking about replying in a post, complete with that cool box around excerpts and links and shit. (Be reeeally helpful if I could remember... BLOCKQUOTE!! That's what it's called... whew.)

And, yeah, I lost it completely a few hours ago. I figure it's either PMS or else Brando dying, finding out (not really "at the last second", but close enough) the kids'll be here, this ONE THING I'm gonna "expression an opinion about" and being exhausted are all fuckin' with me harder than I realize. Whichever. I flipped and two of you guys made me laugh my ass off and just hearing from those two utterly cool Mike's was excellent.

Okay... I think there was one other thing. What was it? Be easier to get this done and remember shit if there weren't three guys sitting less than 15 feet from me right now, seemingly all talking at once, ya know? I think it was something else I wanted to post about, probably before the 'enlightment session' I have planned for a representitive 'sanctimonious dillhole'. Something funny, I think... shit. I dunno.

Oh, well.
I'll either remember it, or I won't.

In the meantime, I'm gonna go get ready to go the store. Pffft. I just remembered I don't even have a list done yet. Damn.

I'm outta here.
Peace.

Posted by: Stevie at 10:39 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 hmm... yer makin' me wonder what I might've done.

Posted by: Mad William Flint at July 04, 2004 03:19 AM (jRssG)

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Holy freakin' shit!

Marlon Brando is dead.
I am.... speechless.

Fuck.

His 'Don Corleone' made me want to be Italian sooo bad. I love that book, movie and character. I liked Marlon a lot, too. Dude was HOT in his day. Wasn't a bad lookin' 'old man', either.

Well... we still have his hunk of a son, Christian. I hope he follows his Dad's lead and not his goofball sister's, so he'll live til he's 80, too. Or thereabouts.

This is so fuckin' weird. I was just reading or heard something, like, two days ago, about some other male celebrity dying lately and I said (outloud), "So what? It's not like he was Marlon Brando or somebody."

Oops.
Sorry, Dude.

(Okay... God forgive me and all, but I just HAVE to try this. "So what? It's not like it was ERIC'S EX or somebody." I'll let ya's know what happens... *snerk*)

Rest in Peace, Godfather.

Posted by: Stevie at 12:54 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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Oh, fer fuck's sake...

I really do need to go back to not looking at either of my referral logs.
Especially when I see shit like this...

Record Type: IP Address

AT&T WorldNet Services WORLDNET-MIS (NET-207-242-0-0-1)
207.242.0.0 - 207.243.255.255
Kerr McGee KERRMCGEE-118 (NET-207-243-118-0-1)
207.243.118.0 - 207.243.118.255
(Emphasis mine...)

Granted, it's out of Norman, Oklahoma, but again... there's only one person I personally know of at all who works for them NOW. Makes sense to me, at least, that those "need to keep their asses covered and control people by any means, including outright murder" assholes would have every computer at every plant routed through HQ.

So, with that in mind, let me say this...

Posted by: Stevie at 07:42 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 So, what is it you're trying to say?

Posted by: scroff at July 02, 2004 06:38 PM (oxjur)

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