Bada fuck-in' bing, man...

I did it!!! I stood up for myself, toe to toe with dipshits beyond number, and I WON!!!!

Allow me to start at the beginning.

I am a blonde. With boobs. Hence, an airhead. I know this. I'm even FINE with this, except when I cause me shit like I went through today. If I could just remember to pay the stupid Earthlink bill THE INSTANT IT GETS HERE, I'd not have these problems. I realized that in the first place. You can bet your family jewels I won't forget it again for a while, NOW.

Judas Priest, these Earthlink people. Usually, I love 'em. Rob hates 'em. Now, I know why.

This all started on, I believe, June 28th. That was when I realized the bill was supposed to be there in two days and warn't no way in hell it was gonna make it in time. Sooo, I got hold of the chat support people and got an extension, til July 7th, to get it there. I did that. I mailed it on the 2nd.

On Wednesday, the 7th, like I said before, the ijits shut me off.

Soooo, I called them. Got the dumb bitch who made me mad and I called back and got the cool chick. She saw the friggin payment, admitted it was there and submitted some 'form' to get me reconnected in 24 to 48 hours. Fine. No credit cards, none of that crap.

Now, usually, when some company's gonna do this, they don't reeeally make ya do the whole "longest it could be" time. Usually, they'll come across in half the full amount of possible time. Not these wienies.

Still, I waited til it had been, like, 44 hours and decided to give them a little nudge and see what was up...

So began the most bizzare series of exchanges I've ever been subjected to. I even c&p-ed my last entire chat with "Darrell".... *rolling eyes at the too recent memory*

I decided to go with the chat people again this time, as they usually seem to be the only ones with any brain function. Well, my God. Not anymore. The first guy I "chatted" with WHILE I was also workin' phone support with the cell, was such a buttwad. That dink couldn't say one f-in' WORD that wasn't written in what I imagined to be one of those little flip-card books or some manual. Since he just kept repeating the same few pat phrases, I mostly concentrated on the phone boneheads. I just kept stringin' chatboy along every time he'd ask if I was still there. I flat out told him, when he told me for the 20th time that there was nothing he could do about my issue and that since I was on with phone chat that I didn't really need him, basically... tough shit. My favorite part went something like this...

Dipshit: Please understand that there is nothing I can do to remedy your issue.

Me: Please understand that I'm annoyed now and if Earthlink is gonna be a pain in MY ass, I'm gonna be a pain in theirs right back.

Dipshit: But there's nothing I can do about your issue. You have phone support, you don't need me.

Me: Well, there's nothing I can do about your "issue" with wanting to disconnect, either, but we're stuck with that, you and I.

It went on pretty much like that for about an hour, while at the same time, I was wrangling with the dillholes at phone support.

I told this fuckin' story soooo many fuckin' times, to so many useless drones that I can barely stand to repeat it again, but I want this outta my mind right NOW, so I can get rid of this headache and go get on the horse without biting a chunk outta the saddle or something...

Aanyway, I got "transferred" more times than I can even remember. There were two basic stories these dolts were handing me. One was that everything was fine and I'd be back on "soon", the other was that whole other pile o'shit about the credit card thing. First one version, then the other, over and over ad infinitum.

The only thing each of these drones agreed on was that, yes, my payment was there on time. HOWEVER.... since it hadn't been posted in time, I got shut off, left off and was expected to pay the reconnection fee.

Well, I went insane, apparently, because I didn't get (too) pissed (for too long).
What I did was wore the bastards down with LOGIC. Me... logic. My Dad'll pee himself when he sees THAT.

First, I got "Carl", the supervisor in Customer Service to agree, once and for all, that none of this was my fault (except the part where I shoulda just paid the goddamnned thing when it GOT here, which, oddly enough, not one of these people ever brought up...) and that I WOULD be reconnected... by MONDAY with the reconnect fee.

Ya know how sometimes the best strategy for winning is to retreat a little? Well, I did that. I left Carl thinking that what we had discussed was good. It wasn't "good" yet, but it was enough.

I then turned back to the chat-assholes. I had dumped the first drone and this was a whole new person, so I just immediately and veeeery politely asked for a supervisor straight off. Well, "Edward" wanted to try handling this himself.

The rest is in the extended entry in the form of the whole chat session.

Give it a read, if ya wanna see my first time ever (or at least that I can remember) of standing up for myself, sanely and without backing down. I barely even cussed. I did so good... *grin*

Suffice it to say, I've got my stupid Earthlink back, I ain't payin' no got-damned reconnect fee and you'll notice I didn't rush out and obtain any credit cards, altho I could have with all the time I spent of hold, fer fucks sake. And, UGH, what icky-friggin' music they have for THAT. I'd rather be deaf, next time, thanks.

Read on Mac Duff....

Welcome to Earthlink LiveChat. Your chat session will begin shortly.

Not at home and you want to read your email? With EarthLink Web Mail you can check your email from any computer with an internet connection!

'Edward M' says: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today?

me: Hello, Edward. May I please speak to a supervisor? Thank you.

Edward M: Hi, please let me know the issue.

me: Basically, I'm being jerked around, passed around, sloughed off and left on hold endlessly by both phone and chat support.
me: (Not you, though...)

Edward M: I apologize for the inconvenience caused.
Edward M: Please let me know the issue, such that I can try to assist you.

me: Oh, Gawd... to have to tell this story AGAIN... *groan* Look, let's make this easy. You need some info from me to pull up the blessed account so you can just follow the story? Whatta ya need? My email addy is whatitis.com and my PIN# is ****. My name is D***, which you guys spell "B***", for some reason and my phone number is ***-867-5309. That do it?
me: Need anything else to get into the account?

Edward M: Please hold on, while I go through your issue.

me: Okay..

Edward M: Thanks for being on hold. I have located your account and I see that the pin number provided is matching with our records.

me: But, of course... *smile*
me: It's me...
me: Does it also say in there that I've been driven to the brink of insanity this morning by this mess?
me: It oughta.

Edward M: Please hold on, while I check your account.

me: hang on, I seem to have a Supervisor...

Edward M: Thanks for being on hold.
Edward M: Upon reviewing your account, I see that the account is inactive.
Edward M: The account was inactivated due to non payment of an outstanding amount of $23.95.
Edward M: And I see that we have received your payment on: 07/08/04. Hence, it may take another 24 hours for your account to get reactivated and your account will be charged an reactivation fee of $15.00, once the account gets reactivated.
Edward M: Are we still connected?

me: yes...

Edward M: Is there anything else I can help you with?

me: And, by the way, this is the same unsatisfactory thing I was told ealier. My payment was THERE on the 7th. I have the case number and agent name from the call ON THE 7TH when I was told the payment was there and that it'd be back on by 5opm TODAY.

Edward M: I am sorry for the inconvenience caused. Please note: The payment was received on: 07/08/04.
Edward M: And once the payment is received means, it takes around 24 to 48 hours for the account to get reactivated.
Edward M: Please hold on.

me: I'll hang on, but, that payment was there on the 7th. It was POSTED on the 8th, but it was THERE on the 7th. I was told, by phone, on the 7th, that it was there.

Edward M: I apologize for the inconvenience.
Edward M: As per our records, I see that the payment was received on 07/08/2004 and it may take another 24 hours for your account to get reactivated.

me: The payment got there on the 7th.
me: I've been told that numerous times now by EARTHLINK employees. Why do you not see it being there on the 7th, also? The way everybody ELSE does?

Edward M: Please hold on, while I recheck your account.
Edward M: Thanks for being on hold.
Edward M: As the account was inactivated due to the payment issues, the payment method on the account needs to be updated to an automated payment method.
Edward M: Hence, the payment method on this account needs to be updated to a Credit / Debit card or Bank checking account.

me: See? This is EXACTLY why I started out asking to speak to a supervisor....

Edward M: Okay. Please hold on, while I transfer you to my Supervisor.
Please wait while I transfer the chat to 'Darrell C'.

'Darrell C' says: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today?

me: I do not POSSESS nor have I ever NEEDED a bank account or credit card for Earthlink... EVER. I do not have either of these things. Never have, never will.
me: Oh, sorry... they changed people on me before I knew it...
me: Hi, Darrell. Are you a Supervisor?

Darrell C: Hello, I see you've already been chatting. Please give me a moment so I can read the previous chat and pick up where you left off.

me: Lord...
me: I basically left off angry... I've been dorking around with this for going on three hours, now.

Darrell C: Kindly hold on while I check your issue.

me: Well, at least you don't make me listen to horrible music whilst I wait. Thank you for that...

Darrell C: Thank you for holding.
Darrell C: I understand that your account was inactivated because of payment issue.
Darrell C: In order to get your account reactivated I need to have an updated credit card or bank draft on the account.
Darrell C: If you want to update a JCB, Diner's Club, or Amex credit card, I can help you.

me: Dear God... kill me now. Tell me, are you people not allowed to say ANYTHING except what's on the flip cards or in the "book"?
me: I do not have a bank account or any credit cards of any kind.

Darrell C: I apologize fro the inconvenience caused to you.

me: Never HAVE had them, didn't have them when I signed up for Earthlink and I still don't.

Darrell C: Kindly hold on.
Darrell C: Ok I will try to process the request for getting the account reactivated, but I cannot assure you regarding the reactivation.

me: Ya know... I've already got that much settled with a phone guy. What I need to really know is one simple thing... Whom do I speak to regarding re-activation fees? Who is the supervisor for that? Is he in 'billing' or 'accounting'?

Darrell C: Kindly hold on while I give you some information.

me: Okay, long as yu don't mind me having my nervous breakdown while I wait from all this schmaltz I've been put through...

Darrell C: Thank you for holding.
Darrell C: The reactivation fees of $15.00 which will come up after the account gets reactivated is also dealt by us in Customer service department in Live Chat and as well as on phone support.

me: Honestly, it doesn't seem like Earthlink values customers AT ALL. I do exactly what I'm asked to do, I have the payment there on the day it was supposed to be, in spite of the holiday mind you, and I not only get shut off anyway, now I hafta wait endlessly to get re-connected and NOW y'all think I oughta pay for THAT, when it wasn't my doing that the payment wasn't posted the day it was RECEIVED. Where is the justice in any of this, can ya tell me that?

Darrell C: The reactivation fee of $15.00 cannot be waived.

me: According to whom, when I shouldn't have even been shut off in the first place because my payment was confirmed to be there on the 7th by a customer service rep?
me: I have the case number from that call...

Darrell C: I will waive off the reactivation fee.
Darrell C: once confirmed it will be reflected in your next invoice.

me: Okayyy... wow. Thank you. Now, I was just told that I have a bill coming out on I think the 6th that the reconnect fee would be on? So, now it won't be on it? Or it still will be, but it'll be waived somehow, anyway? (I just wanna make sure I fully understand this... not trying to be a pain... anymore, anyway.)

Darrell C: I see that your account already has a invoice for $23.95 for Jul 6-Aug 5.
Darrell C: once your account gets reactivated the reactivation charge of $15.00 will be nullified by the credit that will be applied.

me: Okay...

Darrell C: Please note that it will take 24 to 48 hours for the account to get the account reactivated.

me: Yes, I know that. That- the 48th hour- is up today, around 5:00pm.

Darrell C: Is there anything else I can help you with?

me: 48 hours from the 7th is today...
me: The 7th IS when the payment got there and when the one lady put the 'form' in for it to be done...
me: She said 24 to 48 hours on Wednesday...

Darrell C: I see that the case has already been escalated and there is some delay.
Darrell C: It may take some more time.

me: grrrr... Keep in mind one thing for me, okay? If I didn't like Earthlink as much as I do, I wouldn't be fighting so hard to get it back, would I? Ya know? And, if it'll help somebody reconnect me today, like was supposed to happen, I DO have the case number from that very phone call. I have that agents name, too.
me: I mean, really... How hard is it for y'all to do this? There's no real reason it needs to take days and days, is there?

Darrell C: Yes I see the case has been escalated. I am sorry for the delay.
Darrell C: I understand the problem being faced by you as the account has not been reactivated yet.

me: Well, thank you.
me: Will having that case number (to maybe light under someone's be-hind) help get me reconnected today, like it was supposed to be (after it wasn't supposed to off at all, ya know what I'm sayin')?

Darrell C: Yes you can refer to the same case when you contact us again.

me: And, you just know I'd like this case number too, just in case they try to charge me that reconnect fee. That way, if they do, I can get right back to you, instead of having to go thru hell again.

Darrell C: You can copy this chat as confirmation.

me: How do I get hold of you again in case there's yet another screw up with the reconnect fee?

Darrell C: To copy the text of this chat window into Notepad, so that you may print them or if you are unable to receive an email of the instructions given, please do the following:

1. Right click into the chat window and click "Select All".
2. Right Click the highlighted text and click "Copy".
3. Go to Start -> Run, type in notepad & hit ENTER.
4. In Notepad go to Edit then click Paste. The text from the chat session will be pasted into Notepad.
5. You may now save or print the text. #PFR#/BOS/Pc/CopyChat

me: Okay, that'll work, too. (I know how to do that. I'm a blogger to the nth degree...) Now, what I meant was, do YOU need the case number from the call where I was told I'd be back on today at the latest? I reeeally do not wanna sit here not knowing when I'll be back on. It's been 46 hours. That's long enough.
me: (Besides, I detest AOHell, which is what I'm stuck using right now...)

Darrell C: No I don`t need the case number.

me: Can it be done today?

Darrell C: I am sorry it cannot be done now.

me: May I know why? Please?

Darrell C: Kindly hold on.

me: Okay...

Darrell C: Thank you for holding.

me: No problem...

Darrell C: Please note that it is a process and cannot be expedited as of now.

me: It shouldn't need to be, even. I'm not asking for anything special, here, just what I was told in the first place. Remember, I should have NEVER been shut off in the first place. The payment was there and confirmed there.
me: That it wasn't posted and that I was incorrectly shut off because of that is in no way my fault (the payment was there) and, yet, I'm the one driven insane and left without my Earthlink. Why?

Darrell C: I understand the inconvenience caused to you but I suggest you to wait for the above mentioned time frame.

me: I have. I was told then, as now, 24-48 hours. I have waited almost the whole 48.
me: It's somewhere around 46 hours, so far.
me: The form needed to reconnect me was put in on Wednesday.
me: Then, it gets 'expedited' so then it's gonna take longer? Is it me, or is that nuts?

Darrell C: Kindly hold on for 10 minutes as I work on your issue.

me: Okay, Darrell. Thank you. Sincerely.

*he's gone for exactly 10 miutes*

Darrell C: I am sorry for the delay.
Darrell C: Kindly hold on for 10 more minutes I am still working on your issue.

me: Yokay...
me: Hell, all I've got on deck to do is go get on the horse. I've got all the time you need. Actually, I'm sitting here watching a movie called "Fatal Vision" about a Green Beret who was accused of murdering his family back in 1970. I'm fine.
me: Besides, after four hours of this, what's a few more minutes? Ya know?

*gone 8 minutes, this time*

Darrell C: Thank you for holding.

me: No problem...

Darrell C: I am sorry I will not be able to reactivate the account as of now.
Darrell C: You need to wait.
Darrell C: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused to you.

me: Again... why? I'd reeeally like to understand WHY this is.... This is just wrong. I was told on Wednesday, when that form was submitted to reactivate me that it would be 24 to 48 hours and it nearer and nearer has been the full 48 hours. What, exactly, is the problem?
me: Darrell, I feel like I'm being screwed and not kissed, here. Why is it necessary that this be done to me when I did exactly what was asked of me?

Darrell C: Basically because of the nature of the account a new automated payment method has to be updated to get the account reactivated.

me: Don't start THAT again...

Darrell C: There could have been some confusion caused earlier regarding this for getting the account reactivated.
Darrell C: I am sorry if you wish to get the account reactivated I suggest you to call our customer service for further assistance.
Darrell C: EarthLink's Customer Service Department can be reached Monday through Friday 8 AM to Midnight Eastern Time and 8:00 AM to 10:00 PM Eastern Time on weekends at 1-888-EarthLink

me: Been there, done that for four solid hours, now, between phone and chat support. How long are you telling me it's gonna be?

Darrell C: I understand the inconvenience but you need to wait, I cannot get the account reactivated right now.

me: First off... by when, then?

Darrell C: Please be more specific?

me: When are YOU saying I'll be back on by? Specifically.

Darrell C: It will take another 24 to 48 hours.

me: Why? The form was submitted Wednesday.

Darrell C: I do not have the exact information why it has got delayed.
Darrell C: To know the exact details I suggest you to call.

me: I should never have even been shut off. Does it makes sense, in light of that, that I should have to wait TWICE AS LONG to be reconnected? Does that make any sense to you, personally?
me: I have called. And called and been passed around like the proverbial "buck". I've GOT to land somewhere. Now.

Darrell C: I see that the closing date of the account was exteded to 07/07/04. But the payment has been posted only on 07/08/04.
Darrell C: Please ignore the above statement.

me: I'm sorry, but that's not my problem, Darrell. We've been over this. Every single person I've talked to on the phone has been able to see and has admitted that, yes, my payment got there in time on the 7TH!
me: Okay... you, too, then, okay? Sorry...
me: (You just made half a dozen of my hairs turn gray with that stuff again... man.)
me: I just want to understand why, when I did what was asked, should never have been shut off in the first place and have already done the 48 hours, I "can't" be turned on "right now", as in today, like I was originally told I would be... that's all. Help me to grasp that concept and I'll go away, okay?

Darrell C: If you need to get the account reactivated as of now you need to call the above given number.
Darrell C: Its not possible to get the account reactivated as of now through Live Chat.

me: If it's not possible to get me reconnected thru chat, what were you working on for 15-18 minutes back there?

Darrell C: The reason why the account got inactivated because the payment got posted on 07/08/04 and the extension of closing date was only till 07/07/04.

me: Which was not MY fault at ALL...
me: The payment was THERE on the 7th. Are we gonna go here, again? Already?

Darrell C: It was under process, and was successfully posted on 07/08/04, by that time the account was inactivated.

me: Not my fault. In any way at all, right?
me: I did my part. I had it there.

Darrell C: I cannot reactivate the account now.

me: I don't get this... you're going to waive the reconnection fee because of this screw up, yet making me wait twice as long due to the same screw up is somehow okay? Doesn't gibe very well, I gotta tell ya.
me: If ya see the problem and have such a fair solution for one part, why not the other? It's not me asking for 'extra's"... it's what is just. I did not do this....

Darrell C: Please be on hold for 10 minutes.

me: Okay, Darrell.

*gone exactly 10 minutes*

Darrell C: I am still working on your issue.
Darrell C: kindly hold on for 10 more minutes.

me: Yes, Dear... *smile*
me: Darrell?
me: If you can't get me reconnected thru chat, what is it yer working on?
me: Just curious...

*gone 11 minutes, this time*

Darrell C: Thanks for the holding.

me: It's been 10 minutes... but that's okay. You got back to me in 8 minutes one time, so I guess I owe ya two minutes, huh?
me: Oh... Hi. No problem.

Darrell C: Please be on hold for 10 more minutes while I am still working on your issue.

me: Dude... what is it yer working on and what time do you get off work today (just so I can get an idea of how many more 10 minutes'es it's gonna possibly be...)?

*gone about 9 minutes*

Darrell C: Thank you for being holding.
Darrell C: *being on hold.

me: lol... S'okay...

Darrell C: I have reactivated the account and you need to pay $23.70 for coming month invoice.

me: Holy shit. Wow.

Darrell C: Along with the additional monthly charges of $23.95.

me: If I'm paying for the "coming" months bill, that IS the monthly charges. Is it not?

Darrell C: This $23.95 will be for the month August 6th to September 5th.

me: So, what's the $23.70 for?

Darrell C: The $23.70 is for the monthly charges of July 6 - August 5.

me: So, I hafta pay for two months at once?
me: By when?

Darrell C: Your next invoice will be generated on or after August 6th you need to pay the total due.

me: Will it be for two months, like, around 50 bucks?

Darrell C: Yes you are correct the total due will be $47.65.

me: Okay... I think I just got it. First of all, it'd be helpful if I had todays date in mind... So, I'll be getting a bill, in about a month, for this month and THAT month (Aug.) more or less. Got it. Excellent.
me: And, I'm back on now so I can get the heck offa AOHell?

Darrell C: Yes you should be able to use with in 20 minutes from now.
Darrell C: Are you using EarthLink Total Access 2005?

me: THANK you... Yer good... as an arguer/opponent and as a miracle worker. You really should be a lawyer, ya know.
me: And, as to 2005, I doubt it.

Darrell C: TotalAccess 2005 is the latest version of EarthLink's free Internet access software. Designed to be your launch pad to the Internet, TotalAccess includes everything you need to get online, including Web, email, and FTP programs. It also features the Task Panel, a customizable toolbar that gives you central control over your Internet experience and lets you change your EarthLink account settings.

Features: spamBlocker, Pop_Up Blocker, Parental Controls, Improved Email Features, Multiple Users

To download TotalAccess 2005, go to:

http://www.earthlink.net/home/software/

To order a free CD-ROM online:

http://www.earthlink.net/home/software/order/

Note: At the moment, EarthLink is shipping TotalAccess 2004 CDs until the 2005 CDs are available.

Darrell C: Is there anything else I can help you with?

me: Got any aspirin?
me: lol...
me: (Jesus...)
me: But really, no... I've done enough, no?

Darrell C: Have a good day.
Darrell C: You're welcome and thank you for using EarthLink LiveChat. Should you need further assistance, please feel free to contact us again.

me: (Just not you, personally, right? *grin*)

Darrell C: Ok Thank you.

*runs screaming, no doubt... GRIN*

Posted by: Stevie at 05:02 PM

Comments

Posted by: Funkalicious at July 09, 2004 05:47 PM (JjOt1)

Posted by: Mad Mikey at July 09, 2004 05:47 PM (NmR1a)

Posted by: Kenna at July 09, 2004 07:58 PM (h8fVz)

4 Holy fucking christmas. I would not have been so patient. Sister, you've impressed the hell outta me! And those fuckers are lucky as all hell to still have you as a customer!!!

Also loved the "not kissed" comment. I always say that "If you're gonna screw me, at least push my panties aside, will ya?" Keep that on file for your next complaint!

Posted by: dawn at July 09, 2004 09:05 PM (Zgn4s)

Posted by: haveayen at July 10, 2004 02:44 PM (X3UAW)

Posted by: Emma at July 10, 2004 03:08 PM (NOZuy)

Posted by: Terry Reynolds at July 11, 2004 04:12 PM (TLRTu)

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