September 03, 2004
And, the worst part is...
He does have legitimate bitches.
See?
Peace, y'all...
Posted by: Stevie at 04:03 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Take a wild frickin' guess at what's happening at my house (again)...
It started around 11pm last evening, less than four hours after George and all the kids left.... It's like she waited, almost, for it to calm down around here...
It has to do with a cat and math. Addition, specifically. Yeah, Lamar is adding more cats to my house as I type. She's only had one so far, but it's patently obvious there's one more, if not two, still cookin', or something, in there. So, for edification purposes, let's just list the animals we have now, 'kay? (Last word more squeaked than spoken...)Posted by: Stevie at 02:34 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
September 02, 2004
Hi you guys...
I know I've been kinda quiet lately and that even when I have posted it's been kinda.... dry, but....
I do have a buncha reasons why... lol.
Posted by: Stevie at 05:41 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
The song you were looking for...
(whomever ya were) is called "I've Always Been Crazy". It's by Waylon Jennings and it's one the coolest songs on his Greatest Hits CD and it's also the story of my life, unbeknownst to him...
Here 'tis...I've Always Been Crazy
I've always been crazy and the trouble that it's put me through
I've been busted for things that I did, and I didn't do
I can't say I’m proud of all of the things that I’ve done
But I can say I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone I've always been different with one foot over the line
Winding up somewhere one step ahead or behind
It ain't been so easy but I guess I shouldn't complain
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane Beautiful lady are you sure that you understand
The chances your taking loving a free living man
Are you really sure you really want what you see
Be careful of something that's just what you want it to be I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
Nobody knows if it's something to bless or to blame
So far I ain't found a rhyme or a reason to change
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
Man, I'll tell ya what... the day Waylon died, I knew my own mortality in a way I hadn't before. I don't know why, but... I did. Losing him outta this life shook me in a way not many celebrity's dying has, does or ever will. Waylon was something more, somehow, and it still kinda hurts when I re-realize he's gone. Maybe it's cause Dad sounds so much like him when he sings.
Maybe it's because his music has been around my whole life.
Maybe it's just because he was Waylon and nobody else is or ever will be. I dunno. All I do know is that I miss this guy, still.
But...
I just keep tellin' myself he waited long enough to tell Buddy he was only kidding and they're together again now, making music and having a blast.
(But, it does still sting, even when it's just the "Dukes" theme song I hear...) Thanks, Waylon... thanks for everything and I hope I get to be in the same place you are again someday. You, after all, made life on Earth a little more bearable. Bet you make Heaven rock....
Posted by: Stevie at 04:58 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 31, 2004
Dear Self, Please always remember and never forget that...
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...
of life...
(Whistle) Always look on the light side
of life...
(Whistle) If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle
- that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright
side of life...
(Whistle) Come on. Always look on the right side
of life...
(Whistle) For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain
with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the
audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance
anyhow. So always look on the bright side
of death...
(Whistle) a-Just before you draw your terminal breath...
(Whistle) Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see its all a show, keep 'em laughin as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you And...
Always look on the bright side
of life...
(Whistle) Always look on the right side
of life... C'mon Brian, cheer up Always look on the bright side
of life... Always look on the bright side
of life... Worse things happen at sea you know. I mean - what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
- you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing. Always look on the right side
(I mean) of life... what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
- you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Always (Nothing.) look on the right side of life... Nothing will come from nothing ya know what they say?
Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin!
There ya go, see! Always look on the right side of life...
(Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin! At same time) There ya go, see! Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
by Monty Python Got it.
Posted by: Stevie at 06:29 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 30, 2004
This makes me feel all kindsa better...
Made me laugh, loud and long, anyway....
This is karma in it's purest form. You animals, especailly you 'Wildlife', have got the right idea.Now, keep it up. Every single one of us deserves AT LEAST a good bite on the ass for what's been done to you all since humans first showed up, let alone a few insane charges or being chased or even caught up with... (I'm picturing a deer on it's hind legs, beating the ever-lovin' SHIT outta some dipshit on TV). I also found it highly amusing that the only reported injuries were to the MAN and he admits he did it to himself. The yutz.... How, Mr. Groundhog, did ya keep from pissing yerself laughing at that fool? Man, I'd give my left nad for the ability to make people beat themselves with shovels just by my showing up. That'd be funny as shit to see, I think. And, that Barney Fife that showed up... Shovelman had to scream "Shoot it!! Shoot it!!!" at him? Oh, Lord help me, I can't breathe anymore for laughing at THAT mental image.... You go, Mr. Groundhog. Hope he missed ya and that you're still laughing to yerself at just how retarded some of us humans are. I know I am.
Posted by: Stevie at 02:37 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Purge...
I guess that's what I'll call this one, because that's what I'm gonna end up doing, but... first, an 'administrative note'...
If you suddenly can't comment, let me know by email, okay? I blocked a few IP's yesterday because of crap/spam comments and accidentally blocked Mad Mikey, damn it. I deleted all the IP's I had banned to get him unblocked, so there shouldn't be a problem, but if there is, let me know, okay? Hell, I relish the idea of a problem I can actually FIX!!!!!! (Unlike the REST of this shit....)(Which it seems I'm not gonna be able to get to, as this house is Grand Central fuckin' STATION and I cannot get 5 whole minutes to even THINK, let alone make sense, so screw this for now. I'll just go bite a tree or something.... and, for the record, I also called my Dad, who wasn't home and I left a message with Norm the third to have him call me, which he hasn't yet, so THIS, consequently, this not even being able to WRITE about this shit, is no goddamned surprise to me.... grrrrr. Ya know?)Fuck, I feel sick.... Peace y'all... I hope SOMEBODY'S got it...
Posted by: Stevie at 12:56 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 29, 2004
Can someone please help him for me?
I am so completely pissed off right now that I am literally in tears.
I cannot figure out how to get Eric to where he can write a post from that 747 dashboard of a (#$^&*!!!) control panel. I have clicked on every frigiin' icon over there, skimmed thru every written bit of shit I can find and NOWHERE does it tell you how to get to the goddamn main menu. Between this and my fuckin' Nextel phone, I QUIT!!!!! I am going outside now and I MAY NOT COME BACK!!!!! (He's sitting here now and the YIM is on under my profile handle- srv200163. If you can help him, I'd sure appreciate it.)Posted by: Stevie at 07:06 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 28, 2004
Today's critter was a...
Huge frog.
Leo had it in the carport. He was just laying there with his arms stretched out in front of him and the frog between 'em. He was just layin' there, staring at it. Two other kittens were sitting in front of both of 'em, also staring at Mr. Frog. I saved him.Of course. I got him away from them, brought him in, stuck his lil green ass in the tub til I was ready to take him back home. At least, I hope it was his home. There are only about 6 ponds and a buncha streams... how do I know which one he was from? I stuck him in the stream, so he had the choice of where to go. Everyday, it seems there's a new critter. Luzon, the rooster, is doing great. Loves his home, crows his butt off throughout the day, likes his feed and keeps dumping his water, but... whatcha gonna do? With him and Hefner, the rabbit, in side-by-side cages, they look like Easter or something. Man, that crowing shit's gonna be fun this winter. I bring all the outside animals in for the winter that I can and him being in HERE crowing oughta be fun. Ah, well... better him crowing in here than being turned into a chicken-cicle out there. Right?
(Riiiight...) Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 11:40 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 27, 2004
WEHAVANEWBABYEETSABOY...
Remember that old telephone company commercial about beating reverse charges?
Well, it applies here, too, as it has just been (and is repeatedly being) brought to my attention that the chicken is a Mister.
But, the good news is that the house is STILL close to "perfect"...
Posted by: Stevie at 05:30 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
I have a new critter...
I was outside last night, saddling Storm. George was standing there, listening to shitty jazz for me on my cell phone (I was on hold with DirecTV... *snoooore*) and Eric was taking care of Action's leg (which is healing nicely) and suddenly the new critter just walked right up to me.
It's a chicken. This goofball chicken comes right up the driveway, 47 cats be damned, and followed me around for a while. Then, he? she? (hard to tell yet) jumped up onto the electrical shit in the yard and I walked over and got her to grab hold of my fingers and let me hold her. I happened to have an empty cage, so I set her in there and she settled right down and fell asleep. Sooooo, I have a chicken now.Or, maybe a chicken has me.
Whichever. I'm getting ready to go out there right now and rebed the cage for her, and put some food and water in there and all that happy crappy. Then, I gotta feed the (pig)dogs and then....? Maybe I'll go to sleep for a while.
I dunno. I suppose I oughta. So, what's a good name for a chicken and let's not have any recipe names, 'kay people? (lol) Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 04:26 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 26, 2004
Nuttin' so far....
The dogs got to barking once, so far...
I took a little stroll around the place with the spotlight and the Pusser Club and found nothing out of the ordinary, except the calf barn lights on, which I turned off and they'd best stay that way. Eric is going out there at 4am, this morning. He's got to be done earlier than usual, cause the hoof trimmers are coming. So.... so far, so good.Anything happens, knowing me, I'll blog it before I call the cops, even, so stay tuned... lol. Peace
(please)
Posted by: Stevie at 01:12 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 25, 2004
God help me, I'm goin' to hell now, for sure....
Okay, so I'm bored.
This is NEVER a good thing, because when I'm bored is when I wind up gettin' "into shit"....
Posted by: Stevie at 04:58 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 24, 2004
I have two...
Shower curtains, among other things.... lol.
There are two curtains for the shower. The heavier plastic one that goes inside the tub and the outer one, which is some kinda lightweight material (not plastic, tho) that's white, mostly, with flowers or some shit on it. It's that outside one that I wash-n-dry in the machines.It just hit me how goofy it musta sounded the way I'd put it before. Like, "What kinda uber-blonde NUT dries a shower curtain IN THE DRYER?!? And, does she do that each time someone gets a shower, or what?"... lol. While I'm on bathroom-type subjects, I have two more thaaangs to relate. One's funny as balls, the other ain't. Let's do "not-so-funny", first. Guess who's back AGAIN? And, so soon??? Yeah, my little &%$#@*!!! terrorist buddy and BOY is he here this time for real. My Gawd. Ow, ow, owowow. Last time, was almost a "non-time", for as long as it took for it to actually show up and for the pissant performance once it did show. I mean, a "light" terrorist is one thing, but last time, it was almost a waste of "equipment", ya know? Well, here it is again, sooner than usual, I think and it's HERE here this time, massive cramps and all. I'm ABOUT to go inhale approximately 42 ibuprofen and go back to bed. (4, really, but it FEELS like a 42-er... ow.)
But, first... I felt it incumbent upon myself to SHAAAARE this shit... lmao. And... there's more!!! So, I'm in the "library" a little while ago.... in there with me (before me, actually... I just didn't have the time, coordination or umph to kick 'em out) were four outta five of China's kids. Nuttin' like trying to "read" with four tiny retards in there wit' ya, ya know? This one kitten... I swear. It was a good damned thing I was where I was, cuz she almost made me pee myself laughing... First thing ya need to know for this little vignette, is that I have long ago washed all the backing offa the main rug in there on the floor. It still works fine, it just doesn't have a major "grip" on the floor, anymore. No biggie... for HUMANS... but this kitten.... lmao again... This kitten is sitting on the rug, right by the edge of said rug... she crouches down, does the whole "hiney-wiggle" routine, getting ready to pounce. Well, she took off tremendously IN PLACE and flung the rug up against the side of the tub and got exactly no where for her efforts, except on her face, in the same spot, sans rug. Stupid cat.... While I'm dying over that, another one brings me a smiley face sticker that she found God-knows-where in there... like I wasn't "happy" enough right then, right? She appears in the middle of the floor with this quarter-sized, bright orange smiley face sticker hanging outta her mouth... ooookay kid. Thanks, Darlin', now go play... Mommy's dying here, right now, okay Love? And, Dear GOD, you people oughta see my legs! Jesus... Thanks to these stupid little shits who can't tell the difference between flesh and sweatpant legs, my legs look like I "shave" them with a loose and dull lawn mower blade or sumptin'... No WAY do they look like a 41 year olds legs. It's almost sad, except I never (ever) wear shorts to begin with... still. I think my shoulders, the top of my back and a coupla select places on my chest look about the same from these little turds trying to all fit/sleep on my shoulders all the time, too. Ah well, there are waaaaay worse things in life to hafta deal with than being a living cat-condo, I know for a fact. I'm just sayin'.... Okay. Back to the library, down some ibuprofen and back to bed for a while. And, I still wanna kill the "genius" who put that stupid caps key where it is.
Asshole. Love y'all.... talk to ya's later.
Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 05:48 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 23, 2004
Helloooo....
How're y'all?
Well, my house is clean, clean. To the point that I need to rehang the shower curtain when I get around to taking it outta the dryer in a few minutes.... Watching tapes of M*A*S*H. (heh... wonder if it's latent guilt for the whole Korea Vets thing...) Not a lot to say, for a change. Still have shit going on that makes me chew my back teeth, but... it ain't MY shit, so I'm trying to make it roll off. I want outta here today, too, damn it. I keep wanting and saying I'm going outside, then, I get into that godforsaken solitaire game and boom... it's 8 hours later and dark. And, whomever it was who was such an asscrack addict as to put the fuckin' caps key so close to the shift key.... I hope you spontaneously combust, you fuckin' jerkweed. I hate you. Aaaanyway... I'll be back in a bit.I AM gonna get on Storm today if it kills me. Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 01:08 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 21, 2004
Just call me Lt. Day-un...
Cause, except for the legless part and the part about being on a shrimpin' boat, I was him a little while ago... (I am now about to morph into Rocky Balboa when I beat Bob's ass in about 27 seconds, that pigeon-shootin'-at-yet-can't-hit-the-fuckin'-BARN dickhead....)
My hand to Gawd...Posted by: Stevie at 03:45 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 20, 2004
Some of the things in my "Bookmarks"...
I bookmark more shit than I can manage to remember. I'll go in there (with a welders helmet and a torch) to find something I know I saved and see this... this... STUFF. The following are a few of the things that I actully KNOW why I saved.
Enjoy. (Not sure how "Safe For Work" a couple of these are... the first two are totally safe. The last three get more questionable as ya go along. And, does it mean anything if I can sing the whole song without lookin' on the last one?)Ah, horses. One of my favorite creatures. And, if ya know me at all, ya know I love my kitties. Where would my ENTIRE EXISTANCE be without cows? And more (freakin') cows? I saved the best for last. (And, these are only 5 out of what HAS to be over 150....)
Posted by: Stevie at 05:11 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Amen, Brother...
Still laughing too hard to type right...
*gasping for air* Jesus, Dax... *another giggle fit* I know about this of which you speak, Lovey.May I add to the list the following item manufacturers who may benefit from a visit by either you and your hammer or me and my Pusser Club: Remote Controls (that suddenly cease to work for reasons known only to them and God, which COMPELLS me to hurl them into a wall, thereby finally getting to know WHY THEY DON'T WORK.) Cordless phones (See above...) Screen doors (Close on my foot, slam me in ya or catch my coat, will ya? Take that *biff*, and that *kick, punch, rip, destroy*. There, NOW yer ass won't fuck with ME again, you mangled piece of tin...) Toilets (Don't even get me started.... lol) Motherfuckin' can openers, electric or manual (Are these goddamned things supposed to cut cans or NOT, damnit?) Nextel phone/radios (which tell me they can't "find" Eric, when he's right over THERE, ya stupid fuckin' thing, you... if I were to THROW the radio at him, I could probably hit him with it, he's so close. So, whaddaya mean ya can't find him, fer fucks sake? If I felt like screaming (which I will shortly), Lord knows I'd do it, which I don't wanna do, but if you keep fuckin' with me, I will... AS I SLAM YER ASS INTO THE SIDE OF THE BARN, okay, dickweed?) Electric fence handles that let ya get shocked (and, YES I WILL cut that entire wire into inch long pieces if it bites me... Watch.) And, not last and certainly not least...
Computer mouses, mice, meeses... whatEVER... that ignore me. *AHEM* You catchin' my drift there, you "no right click anymore", "cursor goes wherever in the hell it wants to no matter what I do" "move the mouse and the cursor doesn't" stinkin' little, Satan-possessed piece of
Well, ya better.... Man, I could go on here, for, like... forever, but these are the things that make me nuts(er) on a daily basis. After this come people, stupid people, stupid people "driving", etc.
See what I mean? Anyway... Dax, Darlin'... I feel ya, man.
Posted by: Stevie at 08:06 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Post #1001... MADLIB!!!!
When you address an Officer, always say "Pineapple" and salute joylessly. If you get a mealy-mouthed haircut, keep your wage garnishments shined and see that your refrigerator magnet is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army builds walkie-talkies."
And, at roll call, when the cloud-shaped Sergeant calls your name, shout "Beh heh hee HAW haw!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons, such as the thirty caliber funeral and the automatic cucumber. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Clammy Conduct Cluebat. (Dear Army Guys,
Please forgive me.
*furiously looking for a "Marine" story*) New list in EP...
Posted by: Stevie at 07:30 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 19, 2004
Hey Pappy!!
Check this out...
For the search '"kerr-McGee" fuck', I'm number one and you're number seven.... I like this.
Just thought I'd letcha know...
Posted by: Stevie at 05:09 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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