Amen, Brother...
Still laughing too hard to type right...
*gasping for air* Jesus, Dax... *another giggle fit* I know about this of which you speak, Lovey.May I add to the list the following item manufacturers who may benefit from a visit by either you and your hammer or me and my Pusser Club: Remote Controls (that suddenly cease to work for reasons known only to them and God, which COMPELLS me to hurl them into a wall, thereby finally getting to know WHY THEY DON'T WORK.) Cordless phones (See above...) Screen doors (Close on my foot, slam me in ya or catch my coat, will ya? Take that *biff*, and that *kick, punch, rip, destroy*. There, NOW yer ass won't fuck with ME again, you mangled piece of tin...) Toilets (Don't even get me started.... lol) Motherfuckin' can openers, electric or manual (Are these goddamned things supposed to cut cans or NOT, damnit?) Nextel phone/radios (which tell me they can't "find" Eric, when he's right over THERE, ya stupid fuckin' thing, you... if I were to THROW the radio at him, I could probably hit him with it, he's so close. So, whaddaya mean ya can't find him, fer fucks sake? If I felt like screaming (which I will shortly), Lord knows I'd do it, which I don't wanna do, but if you keep fuckin' with me, I will... AS I SLAM YER ASS INTO THE SIDE OF THE BARN, okay, dickweed?) Electric fence handles that let ya get shocked (and, YES I WILL cut that entire wire into inch long pieces if it bites me... Watch.) And, not last and certainly not least...
Computer mouses, mice, meeses... whatEVER... that ignore me. *AHEM* You catchin' my drift there, you "no right click anymore", "cursor goes wherever in the hell it wants to no matter what I do" "move the mouse and the cursor doesn't" stinkin' little, Satan-possessed piece of
Well, ya better.... Man, I could go on here, for, like... forever, but these are the things that make me nuts(er) on a daily basis. After this come people, stupid people, stupid people "driving", etc.
See what I mean? Anyway... Dax, Darlin'... I feel ya, man.
Comments
1
Remote Controls - easily opened up & cleaned; that's usually why they stop working - finger jam.
Cordless phones - too complicated. Smash & replace....
Screen doors - staplers work wonders.
Toilets - man work, usually cause the wife will announce "The toilet is clogged!! Can you fix it!?"
Can Openers - replace instantly. They're not worth my attention.
Nextel phone/radios - I try to stay out of contact of most people.
Electric fence handles - Kinky....
Computer Mice - see Remote Controls above.
Cordless phones - too complicated. Smash & replace....
Screen doors - staplers work wonders.
Toilets - man work, usually cause the wife will announce "The toilet is clogged!! Can you fix it!?"
Can Openers - replace instantly. They're not worth my attention.
Nextel phone/radios - I try to stay out of contact of most people.
Electric fence handles - Kinky....
Computer Mice - see Remote Controls above.
Posted by: Mad Mikey at August 20, 2004 09:03 AM (NmR1a)
2
RC's... Had no idea. If I'd known that, I'd have been taking them apart to get that "thing" out of them that they ALWAYS hafta have one of that rattles when ya shake the RC. Cool. I'll keep this in mind, next time.
Screen doors... It's usually the closer thing that's fricked up, one way or another. Course, I COULD use a big ol' stapler to bash it with... so again... cool.
My (stupid excuse for a) toilet isn't clogged, but it could not possibly flush more anemically if ya dumped a load of Valium "down da hoooole". (Sorry, that "down da hoooole" thing is something I saw on a cartoon... Baby Looney Tunes or something where this one tiny tot had to toss every damn thing in the house into the toilet and "down da hoooole"... I'm bent, okay?)
Nextel pieces of shit... Same here with the being "incommunicado", but, I'm totally serious when I say I can SEE him (across the farm or fields mostly) and it won't let me talk to him, for the crappy excuse that they can't "find" him. Unfortunately, it's not unusual to see me screaming at the stupid thing that "he right over there, Goddamn you, you mofacking, bobo honking piece of Motorola SHIT!!!!" Then, if it STILL won't work, I get in to my "how many cops and such have died because of what CRAP Motorola products are" and by then, Eric is back and skeert 'cuz I'm so pissed I'm shaking by then.... lol.
Computer meeses... Been there, done that. AM (now) the poster child of defective meeses.
Heh.
I won this time, though. I GOT my right-click ability back. I simply "assigned" it to that wheel in the middle. I don't care if "right click" becomes "left click" as long as it works, ya know?
And, I suppose electric fence handles COULD be considered kinky because if they allow me to get shocked there is a very real possibility that they may "become" an ass plug, for whomever installed it... lol.
*hugs*
Screen doors... It's usually the closer thing that's fricked up, one way or another. Course, I COULD use a big ol' stapler to bash it with... so again... cool.
My (stupid excuse for a) toilet isn't clogged, but it could not possibly flush more anemically if ya dumped a load of Valium "down da hoooole". (Sorry, that "down da hoooole" thing is something I saw on a cartoon... Baby Looney Tunes or something where this one tiny tot had to toss every damn thing in the house into the toilet and "down da hoooole"... I'm bent, okay?)
Nextel pieces of shit... Same here with the being "incommunicado", but, I'm totally serious when I say I can SEE him (across the farm or fields mostly) and it won't let me talk to him, for the crappy excuse that they can't "find" him. Unfortunately, it's not unusual to see me screaming at the stupid thing that "he right over there, Goddamn you, you mofacking, bobo honking piece of Motorola SHIT!!!!" Then, if it STILL won't work, I get in to my "how many cops and such have died because of what CRAP Motorola products are" and by then, Eric is back and skeert 'cuz I'm so pissed I'm shaking by then.... lol.
Computer meeses... Been there, done that. AM (now) the poster child of defective meeses.
Heh.
I won this time, though. I GOT my right-click ability back. I simply "assigned" it to that wheel in the middle. I don't care if "right click" becomes "left click" as long as it works, ya know?
And, I suppose electric fence handles COULD be considered kinky because if they allow me to get shocked there is a very real possibility that they may "become" an ass plug, for whomever installed it... lol.
*hugs*
Posted by: Stevie at August 20, 2004 04:40 PM (BRRFz)
3
Space each understand number nextel, says easy miles matter.
Posted by: Duncan at April 21, 2005 01:05 AM (d8Pn7)
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