Just call me Lt. Day-un...

Cause, except for the legless part and the part about being on a shrimpin' boat, I was him a little while ago... (I am now about to morph into Rocky Balboa when I beat Bob's ass in about 27 seconds, that pigeon-shootin'-at-yet-can't-hit-the-fuckin'-BARN dickhead....)

My hand to Gawd...

I fuckin' lost it when yet another lame assed excuse for a storm came by a while ago. I literally freaked.... yellin' at God, "That the best You can do OLD MAN??? That ain't shit!!!! They can do that bullshit in a Hollywood studio!!! C'mon, ya crotchety Old Fart!!!!", throwing the finger at lightening, rolling my eyes in utter disgust at thunder... Christ. Then, when the lights went off (for about 4 and a half minutes), I really let him have it....

Eric didn't react exactly as Archie Bunker did when Mike dissed God, but he was lookin' a little worried, throwing sideways glances at me and looking up ever' now and again as if to tell God, "You KNOW she doesn't mean that..."

Gary Sinese got nuttin' on me.

Then, Jon (yes, The Liar Guy) walked in without knocking AGAIN again, cause he just did the same fuckin' thing last night and I hate THAT more than I do pissant fuckin' storms.

THEN, Bob, the fuckin' MORON decides it'd be a great time to start shooting guns off in the driveway (which I just found out is a .22!!! and now I hope he gets hit with a ricochetting bullet- better him than Eric, because I WILL OWN THIS FARM...), while accompanied by his GIRLFRIEND, the ever-swallowing JASON, the latest 'new hire' who is much more useless than tits on a boar hog.

Wanna know what I did?

I handled it.

I went outside, stood in the driveway talking to Eric on my stupid Nextel cell and glaring at Bob and his sweetie and he knocked it off. AND, my stupid Nextel cell decided to try to die because it got 32 drops of rain on it and I hadda come in here and blow dry the fuckin' thing and, thank the same exact God I was just screaming at an hour ago, it still works.

Then, I locked the goddamn door, fired up "Dear Penis", got to giggling at that, stuck in a tape of "Roseanne" that I made (unfortunately so far, it seems to be the "Dan had a heart attack" episodes, which kill me) and decided to purge it all here.

So, I did.

Whew... I do feel better, now, but I swear... "Somebody's gonna hurt someone, before the night is through..."

I need to "make the world go away and get it off of my shoulders..." Know what I mean?

Need to concentrate on the fact that George is in Jersey, there are no kids and Eric is off tomorrow. Frick this horseshit shit... Watch Rosie, straighten up, make a good, creative kinda dinner... breath... you know.

(My Gawd... I just re-read this and do I not sound like Ediie Murphy's Dad, with the "singing" arguements?... In "Raw", Eddie's first concert (I think) he does this routine about his Dad being this NUTJOB who quotes (and mangles) Motown lyrics when he's drunk and arguing with "Lill", his wife. I'm not even drunk... just a nutjob.... lmao) (However, in my (thin-assed) defense, I'd like to offer the idea that that song by Eddie Arnold IS a good one...)

Okay, Dan is home from the hospital, I have some shit to clean and I THINK I've come across as insane enough for now, so I'mina go.

Y'all have a good day, now, ya hear?
Peace.

Posted by: Stevie at 03:45 PM

Comments

Posted by: Mad William Flint at August 21, 2004 04:27 PM (jRssG)

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