January 21, 2005

I am officially (and probably permanantly by now) fucked up....

On this desk, I have an empty candle jar that I keep change in.
It's nestled between the legs of this cute little Teddy Bear.

I just now reached over and hefted the jar toward myself to grab some quarters. As I lifted the jar, the Teddy Bear came with it. I, thinking the jar had him by the fuzz on his face, started saying, "Oh God. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, ooh damn..."
Then, out comes, "Oh thank God", when I saw it had him by the tie and not his face.

Then, it hit me and I fell out....

I am such a tard.

Want more proof?
I still have the stupid tree up, yes the CHRISTMAS TREE, because as I explained to Eric via radio yesterday afternoon, it's the nicest, biggest tree I've ever had and now I feel guilty about heaving it on the trash pile.
It has a bird's nest it in, damn it.
It's still not dried out.
How, in the name of all that is Holy, do ya toss something like that?

That's almost like, "Oh man. The dog is 8 years old (or something). Better throw him out now. He's not "fresh" anymore."

Or...

"Gee. That cow is 5 now. Her last two babies were bulls and her milk weight has dropped. Off to the slaughter house with her ass.", which happens every danged day.

This is borderline stupid, though.
To feel guilty about throwing out a cut tree.
And, just by the way, how the hell do ya lift a tree that has roots and carry it into the house?
If I knew that, I'd do that.

Then, I wouldn't sit here feeling bad about a tree.
But, I'd still not wanna pinch my bears face in an empty candle jar lid.

Ow, ya know?

Posted by: Stevie at 11:58 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Well... if they have to do this shit...

If certain people wanna have jobs where they hafta give people shitty, nasty, icky news... I wish one of these ones was the one who tells it to me.

Specifically, I wish "Pete" was my weather forecaster.
At least he's kinda funny.
And he tells the truth, no matter who likes it or not and...
I do.

Fuck the foul, foul four lettered word I refuse to use.
I'm talkin' about this kinda truth...
(And, I quote... well, actually 'copy and paste'...)

"Snow in Pittsburgh? Yeah tomorrow morning. Should be gone by game time with temps in the teens. Snow on the sidelines and maybe in the stands will give the Pittsburgh fans something to play with when the Pats are up by 30 in the fourth quarter.

FYI, I got dibbs on the english muffins in the bread isle - don't mess with me...I know Mr. Whipple.

GO PATS!
Pete"

He's pretty cool, seems like.
Need to changes "Pats" to "Dallas", though.
BUT, anybody who thumbs their nose at Pa. footballs teams (and, by extention, the bulletheaded dorks who support them) WHILE delivering news about that foul, foul four lettered word shit is okay by me.

Oh, and Dallas?
Don't sweat it.
I understand.
Y'all have been to sooooo many Super (toilet)Bowls by now, it MUST be getting kinda... boring for y'all by now, huh?
Yeeeah.
S'aaright.
I still love ya's.
And, always will.
As long as there's an Iggles fan nearby I can piss right ta fuck off, anyway.

*angelic grin*
*followed immediately by a MAJOR rollin' of the eyes*

Update about 10 minutes later...

Okay, it's patently obvious to me NOW (since I just read this thing), that I have no idea what the fug I'm on about when it comes to football, except, unless it involves either my high school's Wolverines or Dallas, it pretty much sucks.
Right?
Riiight.
BUT, even I can see I've got some kinda something f-ed up when it comes to whom plays with whom('s wienie's) in what division.
Pittsburgh, Pats, Dallas, Falcons.... whatEVER.

It's all silly. It's all over-blown and it's all utterly meaningless in the scheme of life.
AND...
the only Philly sports team EVER that was worth a good Goddamn was the "Broad Street Bullies" of the mid to late 70's.
That gorgeous buncha guys who won the Stanley Cup not once.
Not twice...
But, THREE TIMES IN A ROW.

Now, THAT'S an awesome team.
And, you'll notice- they ain't football.
(You may have also noticed that they, the Flyers, went straight to hell the INSTANT they traded Dave Schultz away to L.A. Now, that's JUSTICE.)
And, he is hot, hot, HOT!!! See?

Hey...
I just remembered something else from when I was a kid (last month).
No... this is from when I was still living with my Dad... BEFORE my life went to hell, ya might say, for 20+ years.
It was in the house in Mannington. I was wanting to tell Dad some damned (probably dumb) thing and he was watching football. In fact, it was probably the stupid fuckin' Iggles.
Now, I knew and still do know that speaking is Verbotten during Jeopardy, unless yer on fire, and even then, you better damned sight wait for a commercial to mention it to Dad and I knew Star Trek was another one of those "talk upon risk of death" deals.
Well, apparently, so is Iggles football, because I can remember Howard Cosell saying the word "football" as I went past the TV and I muttered something about putting my foot in his ball, blah blah.
Dad was (possibly) amused.
It was kinda hard to tell from the look on his face.
I was maybe about 13 or so....

NOW I know why I hate football.
And Star Trek.

Love Jeopardy, though.

Well, Alex Trebeck WAS gorgeous...

Posted by: Stevie at 09:33 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Another way to help our military...

And a way that I, personally, love...

This is, without a doubt, the sweetest, coolest, most excellent thing.
Help them if you can.
Please?

*blinking back tears*

Posted by: Stevie at 05:58 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

January 20, 2005

Oh, fer the love of Gawd...

Just checking ye olde Site Meter and happened upon this gem...

"Did Celine Dion have a nose job?"

C'mon, man.
I know that talentless, shrieking, siren-sounding-like igit is stupid, but not even I think she'd be stupid enough to PAY for that beak she's got.

Honestly... some people's kids.

Posted by: Stevie at 06:52 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Ummmm....

Is the lead singer of Rush four and a half inches tall or is he hooked to a tank of helium?
Gotta be one or the other.

It's Triple Shot Thursday on The Hawk and they played "Tom Sawyer", which I cranked right on up and jammed to driving home. Then they played some other Rush song that I don't know the name of and I swear, the dude sounds like either a micro-midget or like a helium addict.

So, which is it?

Jest wunderin'....

Posted by: Stevie at 06:32 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

January 19, 2005

Now, how did I manage to do this?

I'm not sure how, but I seem to be on Biff Rose's email forwarding list. I keep getting forwarded emails from him.
Talk about a guy with some interesting addresses in the header... wow.

And, Rob, Sweetheart, if you think I'm goofy (about Viet Nam among other things, which he does as evidenced by a comment he left), you'd loooove this stuff.

Makes even ME shake my head, read it twice, then file it in saved mail, not quite "getting it".
At least, I think I don't.....

Hey Dad (Norman, not Rob), I'm gonna have to send these on to you. I got Biff from you, may as well give Biff to you.

Right?

Oh, and if I need to be then I guess I am sorry to be such a huge poopy-headed pain right in the ass about Nam Vets.
I'm gonna keep doing it, but I am sorry it annoys Rob.
Hate to do that.
I love the guy. I owe him more than I can say. Hell, even my Dad knows that.

BUT... if I can keep people from forgetting about those guys, like the world seems to want to, then it's all good.

Posted by: Stevie at 01:35 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

More searches...

jeffery mcdonald fatal vision- Not guilty. Next?

easiest way to empty a waterbed- Stab it repeatedly.

carey loftin- The truck driver in Duel.

guys shaved- Their girlfriends, I hope.

easy swedish meatballs- Stouffer's. End of story. Can't get much easier than that.

first thing you do in the morning- Get a cuppa coffee and hide in the bathroom as long as possible.

sheriff buford pusser the truth- The truth? Okay. He was an amazing man and a true hero and that movie starring the Rock, that used the name of the Pusser movies just to suck off of the legend, is an abomination. The Rock (that one, not the one I work with) needs to be bitch-slapped for that. And, yes, I'd love to be the one to do it. Bring his non-acting ass ovah heah.

robert-oakley-marshall- Pansy-assed, wife murdering, son fuckin' up asshole. Next?

damn she's hot- Good for her. I, on the otherhand, am pretty much freezing my ass off.

torpedo tits, banana boobs- thumb dick.

i'm so pissed off- I have been (and will be again I'm sure) in touch with THAT emotion.

something interesting- Whey-ah? (Meant to sound like Barbarino...)

smack the computer- Again? Ooookay....

*wham, wham, whack, slap*

Now what?

Posted by: Stevie at 11:59 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Okay. Both of these stories made me laugh out loud...

A nail in the head for six days, a $100,000 hospital bill, no insurance and still the dude has a sense of humor.
His last answer to those reporter's questions made me laugh so hard, I nearly choked.

Then, this one.
Awww. Are the poor little persecuter's having trouble? Well, boo hoo.
We have a right to be tried by a jury of our peers. Well, there they are, really. Not all of us are the Ken & Barbie, SUV driving, artsy-fartsy types, now are we?

Hells bells, I'd rather have these people on any jury I needed for anything than the hamster-dick brained blue haired old crocks who go deaf when they hear the word "marijuana", anyway.

After all, who better to understand life in it truest context than a guy high on morphine?
I mean, he's on it for a reason and I'm sure it's not because he's so rich and his life is so perfect that he wanted to do something just to make it "iiiinteresting", which if memory serves, morphine does quite well.

I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: Stevie at 11:19 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Do I need to beat the ever-lovin' shit outta this computer or is there something else going on?

There have been MANY, MANY times here lately when I click on any of my Munu links, it just fuckin' sits there... and sits there and sits there some more.

No "timed out" messages, no changes, just says "waiting for blog munu" at the bottom of the page.

Between this and these goddamned stupid cats walking across the keyboard, I am about to go the hell off, here.

They need to cut. it. OWT!. and this "paralysis" needs to either make sense or fuck off. It is soooo frustrating that there's nothing I can click on or PUNCH to make it speed up or reload or MOVE.

Know what I mean?
Gawd.

So.
Is it this machine, or what?
Anyone?

Posted by: Stevie at 10:50 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

January 18, 2005

Home at last, home at last. Thank Gawd Almighty, I'm home at last.

With apologies to MLK, again, of course.

My CHRIST, this day was just about too damned much, except I did manage to survive it.
So far.
(Which is gonna be more than can be said for the yapping fuckwad under the house. If that imbecilic twat doesn't STFU, I swear by all that is Holy, she WILL understand the phrase "duct tape" and all that that implies.)

It (the day) started out fine. Got to work on time, started slow, everything was copasetic.

Then, things got kinda... intense, for a while.

I was in my usual station. That's about nine tables. It's in smoking, too. Today, that didn't matter a damned bit. Not only was I getting "sat" by the hostesses, people were seating themselves in my station, damn it.
I could NOT catch up.

I wound up taking a few orders with eyes brimming and calling orders with a voice choked with unshed tears, but, God damn it, I made it. Only had to "lose" two tables to the chick on the other side of the room. (*snort* "Lose". Fuck LOSE. TAKE THE FUCKIN' THINGS, PLEASE!!! Just make it STOP for a minute! DAMN!)

The toast guy, who shall be known henceforth as "Barry", as in White, 'cause they're both cool, made me laugh at one critical point and made the difference.
Sure, I was still a little off center- I thought sure I'd maybe make it to my car before I really let go with the tears- but I ended up jeeest fine before I left.
Mostly.

After Hell Hour (or three) was over, I talked to the woman who so reminds me of my Aunt Carol and she clued me to a few things, so next time it happens (which is a matter of WHEN, not IF, unfortunately) I'll be able to handle it better. And, continue to NOT strangle either hostess.

I mean, really, I know it's not their fault... entirely... but for fuck's sake, ya know? Especially when the younger one giggles about it, like a weather forecaster grinning like the brainless dolts they are while discussing that foul, foul, four-lettered word I refuse to use.
One of these days... ugh, God. I am soooo gonna set her on fire, using only my eyeballs....
It could happen.
Believe me.

My hand to God, if looks could kill, I'd be handcuffed to a chair at the cop shop right about now.

I wound up bullshitting and joking with her, too, before I left.
Hell, I told the chick who took over my station at 4p that I loved her. Then, I started giggling like an unmedicated mental patient and left.

I only wished an immediate and incendiary death on about 4 cars being driven by what were obviously pod-people, as they didn't seem to understand the basics of "red light, brakes on... green light, brakes OFF and get the FUCK outta the way, Dillhole" at ALL.

Death Race 2000. (Or, whatever year they used.)
Know what I'm sayin'?
Does the name "Mad Max" mean anything to you (alleged) people "licensed" to drive by this Commonwealth?
I don't THINK so.
(Tim.)

*rolls eyes heavenward*

If I hadn'ta been talking to Eric on DirectConnect, I swear I'da been screaming out the window like De Niro in "Taxi Driver".

I just wanted to get home, peel off the uniform, throw it far, far away and be left ALONE.
Which I did.
So, world... HAH.

I made it.

Neener, neener, neener.

And, what's the best thing to do with a day like this one?
End it.

End it by returning to Utah, by way of Donny Osmond's autobiography.

Yeah, Donny Osmond.
So?

It's a good book.
And he's still cute, too.
He's no Tony De Franco, granted, but Tony hasn't written a book and Donny has, so I don't have much choice in the matter, now do I?

Right.

I'm gonna go now, BEFORE I end up in a fist fight with myself, which I will surely lose.

After this day, that's the LAST thing I need.

Peace, y'all.

Posted by: Stevie at 07:30 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

January 17, 2005

Y'all have got to see this...

I was one page shutdown from going to bed...
Then, I stopped by Veloci-Cutie's again and, like I said, y'all have got to see this.

Don't be trying to drink or swallow anything, though.

(And, if anyone can explain to me how my Eric is Veloci-Gawd's father-in-law, I'd sure 'preciate it, cause either they're one and the same guy, or twins or some damned thing....)

Posted by: Stevie at 09:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Dr. Jeffrey R. Mc Donald, former Army Captain and Green Beret, was gang-raped by Brian Murtaugh, Judge Franklin DuPree and the "Justice" Department.

Yeah, I am re-reading "Fatal Justice".

I'm just sayin', is all.

Posted by: Stevie at 06:39 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Mornin' y'all...

Yeah, I'm up "already". 'Course, I went to bed at around 8p.

Been up about an hour or so and ain't done shit, except sit here and read, laugh and drop a comment at Veloci-Darlin's. He's got a post up about accents and such and Jeezus, do they have 'em around here.

I'm usually asked if I'm from "down South" and I do love that. And, I've always heard Philly people mangle vowel sounds, especially the "o"'s. But, here lately, at work... Lord.

We don't have "baaaagels" at this restaurant. Nope. We have "beggles".
Ya know those weasel-like animals that people have as pets? "Furrets".
And, this stupid friggin' football team? The Iggles.

God save me, ya know?

Now, ya just know that today, while I'm there, I'm gonna be listening for more of this stuff. They have a language allll their own. Be fun to do a "Philly-isms" list.
IF I can continue to crack the code, that is... *lmao*

Anyway...
I need to get moving here, or having gotten up 5 hours "early" will have been for naught.

Between now and about 7:30a, I want to straighten up the house, do the dishes, get a load or two of laundry done and get a shower.
I think I'll make it... if I shut the hell up and get started.

Have as good a day as ya can, everybody.

Peace

Posted by: Stevie at 03:17 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

January 16, 2005

Jeeez. And I thought I was being rough...

Shee-it.

This is "rough". By the time I read the post and the comments, all I could think to say (so I didn't) was, "Hey, hey, hey now!!! Stop it, y'all!!! CUT! IT! OUT! DAMN IT!!!" just like I do when my horse-dogs get carried away playing and start getting too serious.

But, unlike my dogs, who know me as the "Alpha" and who do listen and quit it, I wasn't so sure I wanted to try that with these two guys.

If my 150 pound "puppies" were fighting this strenuously, it'd be past the hollering stage. It'd be time for a stick or maybe a fire hose fulla cold water.

However it got broken up, though, the last thing I'd do with big dogs fighting like this is physically impose myself upon it. Good way to get various body parts gnawed off if ya do.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Just wow.

Update @ 3:21p...

Okay, first thing is, I need to remember when I do these "update" things to NOT look at the clock on this computer. It's only an hour and a half ahead. *rolls eyes*

Second thing and the real reason for this...
Here's Jack's post that so riled Rob.
Now, y'all can read both sides and decide for yourselves.

After having done so myself, the only thing I can say is this:
Hey Bob... remember last night when we were talking about All in the Family and the "Mike's friend the draft-dodger" episode?
Well, if this isn't a shriek for that episode to be aired again, nothing ever will be.
Scary, almost, how relevant that show still is, isn't it?

My hand to God, I'm gonna find that episode (I have it on tape right here somewhere) and transcribe Archie's speech, the one that fits this, the one that still makes me cry from the way he's screaming.

Be back later....

Found it!

Mike (to Archie): "When the hell are you going to admit that the war was wrong?"

Archie (shouting--getting angrier by the minute): "I ain't talkin' about that war! I ain't talkin' about that goddamn war no more! I'm talkin' about somethin' else! And what he did was wrong...sayin' he won't go! You think people in this country can say whether or not they want to go to war?! You couldn't get a decent war off the ground that way! All the young would say no, sure they would, because they don't wanna get killed! That's why we leave it to the Congress because them old crocks ain't gonna get killed! And they're gonna do the right thing and get behind the President and vote YES!"

Every single time I see this episode, this scene makes me cry. The timbre of Archie's voice, the way it distorts, the intensity... it just gets me every time.
Then Pinky, Archie's friend whose son was killed in Viet Nam, says...

"I understand how you feel, Arch. My kid hated the war, too. But he did what he thought he had to do and David here, he did what he thought he had to do. But David's alive to share Christmas dinner with us. And if Steve were here, he'd want to sit down with him. And that's what I want to do." (holds out his hand to David) "Merry Christmas, David."

It's been thirty years.
Same issues, different war, different century even.

The sentence in Archie's dialog that I made boldface, I think answers most of Jack's questions about whether or not any of the ones who power the wheels of the war machine in Congress really know, or care, about the true costs of being in a war.

The Government didn't care back then about the men they sent to Nam. It wasn't them or their friends or family, after all, so why would they have cared?

They don't care now, either.

It's still not their people who're going, so... why would they?

Maybe they can't.
Maybe they're not supposed to.
I don't know.

All I do know is our Government depends on these men and women to defend this country and these men and women should be able to depend on the Government to see to it that they are as "recovered" from the experience as possible.

Unfortunately, that's NOT the way it is.

Never has been.

Think it ever will be?

I certainly hope so, because the way it is now is just plain wrong, but I also doubt it, because the Government will never truly care.
And, that's because to them, within the luxury of their distant perspective, the (hoped for) end result always justifies the means.
No matter what the cost.

Posted by: Stevie at 03:04 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Well, now... that's a damned good question...

Under my post called "Hey Men!!!!", Kenna asks a very good question. Has a coupla good points, too.

"Why do women feel like they have to fuck with their ex's and make them miserable?"

Shyeah... got a year?
Really, I can answer that. The easy answer, the one that really tells ya nuthin', is that "They're all bitches", or cunts, depending on how badly (or well, from their twisted perspectives) they do "the job" on the guy.

Well, no shit. But WHY!?!??
Right, guys?

Read on.... (I moved it into the EP @ 5:00pm)

Posted by: Stevie at 04:38 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

January 15, 2005

Does Montana have an accent?

What, y'all may be wondering, kind of question is THAT?
The kind that leads people here, scarily enough.
That was a search phrase.

Another I've gotten a few times lately asks "How do I kill pigeons?"

Posted by: Stevie at 03:29 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Good Goddess you crack me up Stevie!

Posted by: Maeve at January 15, 2005 08:25 PM (6E1RR)

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Hey men!!!!!

This is a site y'all need to know about.

It's work safe, but it ain't "wife" safe. Especially if she's any kind of a bitch. But, if she's like the BC, you neeeed to see this. Just use someone else's computer...

This is another one of those "pass the word" things, too, by the way.
I found it on the Philly Craig'slist in the rants and raves.

I know so many men I wanna tell about this...
(Told ya's I'm not a "typical" female.)

We need more stuff like this for men, honestly.
Pass the word.... (and the link *smile*)

Posted by: Stevie at 03:34 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

January 14, 2005

Gotta shake it off....

Fuckin' buggin' me about Griffin. I feel like my past is dying some more. Just like when Uncle Henry died and some bonehead cleaned up his farm. Wrecked the whole thing for me. Or like when they put up a buncha artsy-fartsy, way-too-expensive what amount to ROWHOMES in a field you used to ride your horse in. It sucks.

So, to distract myself....

Posted by: Stevie at 09:01 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Aww hell...

This ain't good.
Not at all.

Good God Almighty, I love Bread. They kept my very heart alive when it seemed like life was trying to kill it.

Thank you, Jimmy, and Rest In Peace, too, man.

Again, thank you more than I can say, Dude. I'm so sorry...
(He's the one all the way to the right.)

P.S. For you, Jimmy, I just called my local "oldies" station (98.1 WOGL) and requested they play "Guitar Man". Somehow, I feel like a little part of my heart has died...
God, this sucks.

Posted by: Stevie at 07:36 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

This is my second Friday today...

I got up a 5am, didn't much care for the weather, among other miscellaneous things and, after Eric left (with Liarguy) for the Harrisburg Farm Show, I went back to sleep til just a while ago.

Not raining (as much) this time.
That's better.

This Friday is much more do-able than that other one, earlier.

Know what else this Friday is?

My last one off til God-knows-when.

Posted by: Stevie at 03:07 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 If the cook gives you any shit, you can practice your frisbee technique on him.....

Posted by: Mad Mikey at January 14, 2005 07:32 PM (ysS8l)

2 Oh hell... he qualifies for my knife throwing skills that need "sharpening"... *big toothy grin*

Posted by: Stevie at January 14, 2005 08:27 PM (MeX50)

3 You better hope to hell the prevailing winds don't manage to blow you what we've got. It was -40 this morning on the way out the door. Same thing yesterday, and been hovering near there for over a week.

By Monday though, we're supposed to be above freezing! Talk about fucking with the metabolism. (Not to mention the wardrobe)

Heh - your work schedule's pretty much identical to mine now. Hope 'da cook' survives his first week with the new sched. I'm a damn site more concerned about him than you!

Asking questions at work is almost never a bad thing, I've found. Repeatedly asking the same questions however, deserves an ass kicking.

Enjoy the extra loot!

Paul

Posted by: Light & Dark at January 14, 2005 09:53 PM (UCtcV)

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