August 15, 2003
Question One
You come home and discover a break in. You look around to assess what has been taken and find that the only thing missing is that someone has taken every one of your undergarments, even the soiled ones in the hamper. Who do you suspect and why?
This is hard to answer because 'I see London, I see France. I see no point in underpants' and I already told ya about me and bras in your comments. So, the only person who could swipe 'em is some super sleuth who could find 'em in the first place. Which lets out anybody I know...most of the people around here have a hard enough time finding their own asses with both hands in broad daylight.
Besides which, even when I did used ta wear 'em, I didn't soil them. I don't eat big ole breakfasts at Shoney's (or wherever) then go golfing, like some people I know of. Nor did I ever eat large amounts of Mexican food with loads of Tequila and sit there soiling them when I thought I was only farting, like someone else I read about...rotf.
Posted by: Stevie at 12:26 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Question Two
Which Arnold Schwarzenegger film best identifies his qualifications for the post of Governor of California: Kindergarten Cop, Red Heat or Herucles in New York? Why?
Kindergarten Cop. Because California is full of goofy, child-like people who need to be brought along slowly.
Posted by: Stevie at 12:11 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Question Three
You arrived timely for your doctor's appointment to find an empty waiting room, no one at the receptionists window and hear the distinctive sounds of passion coming from somewhere in the interior. Three magazines are sitting on the table: a copy of November 1988 Guns & Ammo; October 15, 1999's Newsweek and the July 2001 edition of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Which do you pick up to read?
First of all, the reason the doctor and the receptionist are goin' at it is because they know I am ALWAYS late. I was due to be born on April 15th and my birthday is actually the 30th so, I was born two weeks late and I haven't caught up yet. So, if they were still busy when I did get there, I'd take the Newsweek outside to read while I smoke a cigarette or two. If they still weren't done, I'd grab the Guns & Ammo. If they STILL weren't done....I'd go back there and say "Look...either let me get this appointment done or join you two or I'm leaving. I do NOT feel like reading that stupid S.I. Swimsuit Edition, damn it."
Posted by: Stevie at 12:04 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Question Four
You wake up in France and all the people seem to be running away from something approaching from the south. It turns out to be a marching troop of Swiss Boy Scouts cleaning their nails with their Swiss Army Knives. How do you convince the French population to stand and defend their homeland against this aggressive invasion?
First of all, if I woke up in France, I'd be more concerned with gettin' the hell outta there than anything else. Besides, who besides those snail eating, not letting our planes fly over, Disney booing pansies would consider a troop of Swiss Boy Scouts with or without the Swiss Army knives an 'aggressive invasion'? Let 'em all piss up the Eiffel Tower.
Posted by: Stevie at 11:40 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Question Five
You just won a contest at a local radio station by correctly naming all four membrs of Devo after an extensive internet search and won your choice of cars on the lot down at Honest Hank's Used Car Emporium at the corner of Main and Elm across from the Pineland United Bank. You run right down to Honest Hank's Used Car Emporium and see three cars on the lot: a yellow 1977 AMC Pacer with two flats; a rusty brown 1979 Ford Pinto with fuzzy dice hanging on the mirror; and a black 1951 Studebaker Hawk with a Grateful Dead T-shirt pulled over the drivers side seat to conceal the exposed seat springs. Which do you choose and why?
The Studebaker for several reasons. I will not drive a yellow car. It's embarrassing. I won't drive a Pacer. It's worse than embarrassing. So that's as out as it can get. I've already had a Ford Pinto and an interesting experience with it and a deer. (See my previous post entitled "If ya don't believe me, ask the NJSP-Woodstown Barracks.) I don't wanna go there again, either. So that leaves the Stude. It's the right color. I'd take it just for the Dead T-shirt, anyway. There may be something interesting in the ashtray. Besides, I know several people who would probably trade me it for a Ford pickup.
Posted by: Stevie at 11:28 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
I cheated and now my hand is crippled
Awright, perv's...quit giggling. And, don't even say it.."That's not cheating...", because that ain't what I'm talking about.
Here's what happened...I was reading Tiger's blog the other night. I saw he had done the five question interview and needed someone to question, himself. I volunteered because it was fun the first time and all. So, he let me know my questions were ready. I went to get 'em and...my Gawd. I couldn't even get 'em to all turn blue at the same time, so I just wrote 'em longhand to type here myself. And, now my right hand is a useless claw. I swear to you, the muscles in the underside of my arm are tingling. Wait til you see them. They're cool as hell! But...they're long ones.
Because they are such looong, eloquent, imaginative questions and deserve equally as long, eloquent and imaginative answers and because I don't trust Blogsplat not to eat one huge post, I'm gonna answer them one post at a time.
Ya might as well go get a fresh cuppa coffee and a new pack of smokes....ready? (Oh, fer christmas sakes...it just occured to me that this explanatory post is going to wind up UNDER the other five. Sigh. Well, I'll just have to try to remember to at least post a post about this post after the other five. Got that?) (If you do, you should be worried...very worried.)
Here we go. Please keep your hands inside the car at all times and do not try to escape the restraints.....
Posted by: Stevie at 11:12 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Now for something completely different...
Two jokes just popped in to my head.
What has horns and balls and goes "Nort, nort"?
A bull with a ceft palate....
What goes "Mark, mark"?
A dog with a harelip.
I know...they are putrid. Capital "P", capital "U", capital "TRID". But, I was reading this joke book, and...
Hey, I've got worse...
Posted by: Stevie at 10:21 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
An existential, disenfranchised Democrat
That's me. I've thought about this for a looong time and I'm pretty sure that's the best way to put my ass in a nutshell. The only part I'm not certain about is the Democrat part. I ran some stuff that I think past my Dad and he said "Knowing you...you're probably a Democrat." Some places in this blogosphere, that'd be an insult. But, it doesn't bother me. Whatever. But, I would like to be sure. So, here are some things I think...you tell me. What am I...and I don't need to be told 'fucked up'. I know that.
I hate liars. Stupidity enrages me. Incompetence is inexcusable. (As these things begin to need explanation, I'll give it...) I usually want to cut through the bullshit and red tape and get to the point and the solution. TSTB. (The sooner, the better.) 99% of 'political correct-ness' is bullshit. Which is why I'm about to (probably) not be very P.C. for a few minutes...
Outlawing guns is stupid. Yeah, let's keep guns out of the hands of responsible citizens. I'm sure once we're all unarmed and defenseless, the criminals will give theirs up, too. Right. Smoke some more crack, dipstick.
On the other hand, you'll never convince me that hunters need armor piercing bullets. (And, btw, if you really want deer hunting to be a sport-leave home the guns, scopes, doe piss, bait, fake deer, three wheelers and shit. Go on out there and git yo'self a deer mano a mano. Strangle the sumbitch. Or, arm the deer. I'm kidding, but it does seem a bit more fair that way...)
Don't bother outlawing abortions, either. For one thing, what a person does to their own body-up to and including suicide- is their own business. Besides, it's gonna keep happening, anyway. And, there are even times it's necessary. The victim of a rape, for instance. Or, a person who knows they don't want the kid...what kind of life is that child going to have with a parent like that?
On the other hand-abortion is not and should never be birth control. After the same skank has had about 3 or 4 abortions in less than six months, sterilize her stupid ass. If it's not for a valid reason, then fuck 'em. But, ya make it illegal, women are going to be forced to do worse. And, possibly die.
Speaking of dying-if you murder someone, kiss your ass goodbye. You're dead. No if, ands, or buts. Murder is murder and one sure way to make sure your ignorant ass is 'rehabilitated' and you'll never do it again is to kill you. And, I think if we were to do that, instead of just threatening it, it damn well would become a deterrant. No fuckin' appeals to keep your ass alive for another 15 years, either. That person is dead, you did it, you die too. End of story.
Weed should be decriminalized. It's a fuckin' WEED, people. We're wasting resourses, cops, money, time, effort and everything else to fight a war on WEEDS. If ya don't want to mess with it, get yourself a sprayer of weed killer, keep it outta your yard along with the dandilions and shut the fuck up. It has it's good points...medical uses...relaxation..God knows what else it could be used for if people would grow up about it. God made weed. God made life. God made weed because he knows life sucks. And, really now-when was the last time you heard of a pothead mugging anyone for weed money? Jesus.
NEWSFLASH! There IS a difference between child abuse and discipline. I think the government should keep the hell out of people's disciplining of their kids. If their ABUSING the kid, that's different. It doesn't take rocket science to know the got-damn difference. Maybe, if people were allowed to discipline their kids, we'd be having less trouble with gangs and juvenile delinquents...ya think?
And, George Dubbya pisses me off. And, he look like Alfred E. Neuman's twin. (Sorry, Mr. Gaines. Stop that spinning in your grave, now...) Starting on about 9-12-01, I began to wonder WHEN we were going to do something about 9-11. I mean...DAMN. Why weren't we bombing the shit outta those towel-headed pricks the day after 9-11? Somebody said to me back then "Well, (duh) we wouldn't want to kill the wrong people..." FUCKIN' WHAT??? What, exactly, is the definition of 'killing the wrong terrorists'? The longer it took for that Mad magazine coverboy to react, the more pissed I got. Then, I heard him whining something about somebody "tryin' ta kill ma Daddy...". Oh Pee-uke. You mealy-mouthed maggot-do you know how many people's Daddies DID die in the WTC? It's no wonder these terrorist types keep targeting us. You can kill thousands of us, we'll just sit around bitching about it. As a matter of fact, we'll be too busy doing that for about a year to be bothered bombing you to oblivion...so, have fun and don't worry about us. That man who said "Let's roll." on that plane that crashed out in Shanksville had 10 times the balls Bush will ever have. And, if anyone did know about it beforehand and allowed it to happen anyway, they should be shot right in the face on national T.V.
Opinionated little shit today, ain't I? I'm not saying that the way I feel about things is right or wrong or that anyone has to share my opinions or they're a communist doo-doo head or anything. These are just my opinions about some stuff. So, what am I? A Democrat, a Republican, a Liberal or an enitity unto myself?
I discovered that if I did have a claimed religon, I'd be a Methodist, in this manner. I decided what my thoughts and feelings were about religion in general, then asked around until I found a religion that agreed with me. I don't go to church, but it is nice to know.
This is more about me defining myself than it is an attempt to piss off a bunch of people or change anyone's opinions. So, let me know. Please?
Posted by: Stevie at 08:36 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Tollhouse cookies
During the next coupla hours, I'm gonna be making Tollhouse cookies. And, blogging. I may even do some wash. But, I'll be back and forth for a while and it would be cool to feel like I'm not all alone on the Internet....so, if ya stop by, how about saying "Hi"? Or just type an "X", I'm not picky...
Posted by: Stevie at 04:40 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Dear Stupid, Bobble-headed Newscasters...
I've got a newsflash for you dillholes. Ready? There is no reason to disrupt "Scrubs" over some stupid blackout that started at 4:30pm...okay? Forget the fact that "Scrubs" is a damn good show and isn't even on half the time for God-only-knows what reason, yeah, we'll just put THAT aside.
First of all, dipshits, the people affected by the blackout DON'T HAVE ELECTRICITY. How the hell do you expect them to be watching you? Secondly, people whose electric is not off don't really care THAT much. (Especially when it's a localized outage caused by a lightening strike or something.) Once it was ascertained that the outage tonight was caused by a fire at a power plant, not terrorists, you COULD have let it go. But, noooo. You stupid shit stains had to mess with "Scrubs" by having the President comment on it. Well, damn, I had a lightbulb that needed to be changed in my kitchen not five minutes ago. Could I have an hour or so of news coverage, please? Criminy.
I'm sure it gave all those asswits who want to terrorize us the giggles that we're so paranoid. Hell, they don't need to fuck with us, look what we do to ourselves. Bullies love it when they get you in this type of mind-set.
And, while I'm on newscasts, let me give you empty-headed weather forecasters a bit of advice:
When you are standing there, predicting snow ass deep to an elephant or torrential rain for three friggin' weeks or some other fucked up excuse for weather-get that smarmy, stupid-looking, fake, makes-me-want-to-beat-the-everlovin'-SHIT-outta-you grin offa your ugly faces. Assholes. People have to be out WORKING in this shit. WORKING-do you overpaid-for-a-job-that-amounts-to-lookin'-out-freakin'-window drones know the meaning of that word? Do you not realize, or care, that this shit is NOT fuckin' funny? I like to see even one of you sonsa-bitches spend a day working on this farm in the weather you find so amusing. You'd die. You'd either drown, bake or freeze to death. Which would be just fine. Because then I'd never have to watch you giggle your way through another weather forecast.
(And I'm not even pissed off, in a bad mood or anything. I just hate it when this shit happens.)
Posted by: Stevie at 04:32 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 13, 2003
Cool....I got one
Hiya, Rachael...
Guess we've waited long enough. Plus, I ain't stupid. I needed a comment, I got a comment and I'm runnin' with it.
So, here they is:
Rachael's five:
1. Describe your dream date with your favorite famous person.
2. Which Looney Tunes character do you identify with the most and why?
3. Would you trade a walk-on role in a war for a lead role in a cage? (Esoteric Pink Floyd reference...)
4. If you could be on any of the reality T.V. shows, which one would it be and why?
5. What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever been involved in?
And, a bonus question that just begs to be asked of someone:
Why is my dopey dog lying on the floor, on his back, with all four paws in the air-the front two crossed, no less-wiggling around making noises like Chewbacca from Star Wars?
Have fun, Hon!
Posted by: Stevie at 10:41 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 12, 2003
Alloway, NJ???
Finally, a search I can help with. Whadda ya wanna know about good ole Alloway? I can tell ya just about anything ya wanna know...I grew up there. I'm related to the Avon Lady and the Village Chimney Sweep, among others. My Dad is the cool one-Norman Vanaman, Jr. His Dad was Dick...SuperDick at DuPont Chambers Works. Wanna know the best fishin' spot? Alloway Creek, behind Parker Hall's house on Water St.- the first right after the feed mill going toward town. Wanna know what Mugsy Funk's mansion was like back in the 70's? I still know every room and fireplace in that house. The Buckley's lived there, then. We used to live in John Seabrook's house right across the street from the old brickyard...right by John Heil when he was mayor. I know Bud's and Glen's and I knew about Jack's-the store that used to be next to the post office. Need the floor plan for the old school when it was a school? Just ask me. I also remember the Alloway Village Inn when it was a GOOD bar...back when Slayer played there.
I own an original copy of "Alloway Remembers". I knew Miss Mae Allen. I know Walt Leslie, Mr. Ewen, Al Force...name 'em. My very first serious boyfriend was from Alloway-Michael Steven Robbins. People in Alloway go to the BEST High School EVER- Woodstown High School (Class of '81-Thankyouverymuch).
If you're looking for info on Alloway, you sure did come to the right place...
But, WHO the hell is Stevie Brock? (The other frequent search that brings people here...)
Posted by: Stevie at 09:15 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
I dood it, I dood it!
Well, I'll be damned...(probably in the next 5 or 10 minutes.) It actually worked. And, it let me fix a coupla things and still didn't eat it! Hang on...I gotta do the 'Chandler Happy Dance'...
Whew...that was fun! Now, I'm gonna go do my rounds. I'll be back shortly...like I have a choice. I'm only 5'7&1/2" tall.
Which reminds me-I am NOT heavy for my height. I'm SHORT for my weight...but only an inch or so...
Actually, I weigh the same as Dolly Parton...a hunnert 'n plenty.
Posted by: Stevie at 01:04 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Whoa...
Five Questions for Stevie
1. Mountains, beach, or desert?
Mountains, definitely. Cabin, garden, venison...just me and Eric. A coupla horses, cats, a dog. (A small dish wouldn't hurt my feelings, either)...hot tub, no nearby neighbors...town about, what...an hour away.
2. Whats the best pet you've ever had, and why?
I hope ta God I'm not supposed to pick just one... Get ready for an essay answer.
The first two that sprang to mind (together) were Diablo and Daisy. Diablo was my Appaloosa. I used to show him in 4H. Together, we won Grand Champion of the Western Division of our county fair and Reserve Champion at the Game Day event the next day. (Game Day is timed events like barrel racing, pole bending, keyhole race, etc.) Now that I think about it, I remember that he (Diablo) was shown on the Channel 6 news doing the Trail Class. He was such a good horse. Neither of us ever had a single training session or riding lesson. Ever. We learned it all together, by ourselves. So, he was way more than a pet in a lotta ways. Daisy was the dog I had then. I got her as a puppy. Actually, my parents got her for me after I had had a flu or something. She as the best dog I ever had. I had her trained to the nth degree. She'd be in a chair and I would call her. She'd get her front paws on the floor, ass still in the chair, I'd say "Stay." and she would. Just like that. When I first got her, I read a book that said it takes days to teach a dog a trick. Well, I didn't believe that, so I trained Daisy to sit, lay down and roll over all in one day. She learned it well, too. Every day, for the rest of her life, when you told her to sit, she would...sit, lay down then roll over. Every where I went on the horse, she was right behind me. My mom used to say her whole name was "Daisy May or Daisy may not...it all depends on whether she wants to". If she did something dumb and knew she was caught, she'd get all embarrassed and start sneezing. She also gave me the very best Christmas present I ever got-PUPPIES!!! I've been blessed with a bunch of good dogs, present ones April the mouth that never sleeps and Ziggy the Wonderdork included, but never one just as wonderful as Daisy. I also had, around then, a goat named Laura, who used to follow the dog following me on the horse. I had one cat who fetched beer caps, another who got more excited about me steaming clams than I did, one who used to eat asparagas with me, one or two who used to like to "relax" with me (actually, I have one who's like that now...more about "relaxing" later...howtoexplainthis?)
Hell, all my kids are my favorites and the best one at being who they are, if nothing else.
3. How do you deal with stress?
By inhaling and hhhoooollllddding and releasing. Repeat as needed. Then here's cigarettes. After which I read, or sing, or go for a walk, or talk to/hug the piss out of Eric, or get on here. Sitting down with a cuppa coffee helps, too. (And, I hereby promise to give up my first method when I get a 'script for Nitrous Oxide with a lifetime of refills...or stupidity becomes outlawed-whichever happens first)
4. If you could sit down with anyone in the world and talk for 5 minutes, who would it be, and what would you say?
My answer to this used to immediately be : Dwight Yoakam and what I would have said was "May I please be your favorite guitar or pair of jeans?" My other top-of-my-head answer is : God and all I wanna know is WHY?!?! to about 9000 things. But...I'm thinking of someone else...who? Hmmmm.... Okay-famous person....Prince Charles. What I'd like to say is: "Alright, look, Charles, the first thing we're gonna do is teach you how to ride right. Enough with this stupid polo shit. Get rid of that cornflake you call a saddle and let's get you a real hunka leather. Once I get you accustomed to staying ON TOP of the horse, we need to talk about this Camilla crap. Are you blind? Eeewww. You are a PRINCE for Chrissake. You think that's the best you can do? Another thing...how old are you? What is with this "Mommy's boy" shit you pull everytime things get tough? Be a MAN! Tell her to piss up a rope when she's wrong. Quit kissin' her butt or you'll never be rid of her. Look, Chuck...I like you, I really do. But, you act like an uncoordinated putz most of the time and it has got to stop. Dude, the biggest reason your mom won't die is 'cause she's scared to death of the idea of you being King. Let's change that. Okay?" (I'd also like to ask Gary Busey one question: May I pleasepleaseplease be on your show "Hangin' with Busey"? We are both a little nuts and I think it would be a blast hanging out with you. I also think you'd be pleasantly surprised at how we'd sound doing Buddy Holley songs.)(And, yes there was too an 'e' in Buddy's last name...) Non-famous....Anderson Wood Harris, aka Andy, aka Dru. And, I'd talk to him about bullriding, heartbreak, himself, love, friendship, soulmates...anything I could think of to keep him in that bar for just 10 or 15 minutes longer. Long enough to let that asshole Olde Dominion driver ignore the junction sign, the 'Stop Ahead' sign, the 'STOP' sign its own damn self and blow through that blind intersection WITHOUT killing Andy like he did. With Andy's blue Chevy pickup wedged to the windshield under his trailer, in front of the back wheels of his trailer. (Quoted from stupid truck driver: "Oooh. I didn't even know I'd hit anything..." Asshole. I guess you didn't see the sparks from where you were dragging Andy sideways up the road AT NIGHT, while grinding his rim into the shape of a capital "D". As in DICKHEAD!) I'll never forgive that Anonymous Asshole and I'll never forget or stop loving my friend, Andy. Rest in Peace, Cowboy....(I wrote him a poem before he was killed called "The Gentleman Cowboy...he knows what I mean, dontcha, Dru?)
5. What is your favorite meal?
A pretty piece of sirloin, rare, a well made baked potato and asparagus...or succotash. Gotta have coffee, too. On the other hand, I'll also do Mickey D's any day of the week. Even when I'm sick. As a matter of fact, if/when I am sick, if I don't even want Mickey D's, you need to get me to the hospital or Coroner's office-one or the other.
Well, damn...that was FUN! I just hope it all publishes. I was surprised to see the cut & paste worked...hence the title, "Whoa".
Now, I guess it's my turn to come up with questions. So, anyone who wants to answer some questions, leave a comment to that effect. (I've been thinking about that. I don't get many comments, lotsa 'lurkers', but mostly silent ones. Soooo, if no one 'volunteers', I'll just go watch "Full Metal Jacket" again to get in the "D.I. Hartman" spirit of things and FIND a volunteer...heh, heh, heh...) C'mon, y'all. Ya don't want to see me whine, do ya's?
Posted by: Stevie at 12:35 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 11, 2003
Sorry...got sidetracked
One of my cats hasn't been feeling too well...so I've been taking care of and watching him. He seems to be feeling a bit better, now...
So, here we go again....
The first thing I'm going to do-one way or the other-is RJ's questions. I'll try the linking stuff a few times, then if I have to, I'll just resort to low tech pens and paper.
Oh yeah...I'm also waiting for a cake to cool so I can ice it (spice cake with whipped cream cheese frosting) and about to put a top coat on my nails. I've actually painted them for the first time in ages...(deep, frosty burgandy)
Off to RJ's...
Posted by: Stevie at 09:51 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
August 10, 2003
'Do damn it' list
This is my personal version of a 'Honey do' list...directed to myself, not Eric.
'Pooter shit I'd like to get done:
1. Conquer linking.
2. Get Geocities page done (which I haven't done because I haven't figured out linking...)
3. Answer RJ's questions (AGAIN with the linking).
4. Send MoodyMama the email I mentioned in her comments.
5. Read every page of 'Autopsy Report'.
But first...
I'm gonna go do what I did yesterday. I'm gonna grab my shit, slap on the headphones and go take a walk around the fields. singing my lungs out. Maybe hang out in a deer stand for a while. Maybe keep my clothes on while I'm up there, this time. Maybe hang out in the creek for a while-clothing optional, depending on where you are...
I never know what I'm liable to do, til I'm doing it.
But, whatever it winds up being, I'll have the original Stevie Ray, Charlie Rich, Larry Gatlin and the Bee Gees with me.
I'll be back...
Peace
Posted by: Stevie at 06:18 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Ooh! Ooh,ooh! (a la Horshak)
I just found the coolest site. It's in the third postion on my blogroll-right under the Dax man.
Keep in mind-I love forensic pathology...No pictuters, yet. But, graphic all the same.
Posted by: Stevie at 05:59 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
mmm...by any chance
If you do a post with a link, publish it, see a mistake, edit it and re-publish it...are ya supposed to re-do the link, too?
'Cause, I did and I didn't.
Posted by: Stevie at 06:31 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Sigh...typical
Okay, so either God could not possibly care less about making a deal with me, or this doesn't work when you open the new window from the Blogger page. Ya know that button that let's you "view blog in a new window"?
Well, it ain't happenin' with that.
I'll try it the way I was told to do it in the first place later...also typical. However, I firmly believe it would be easier to put socks on a rooster.
Which reminds me...
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says "Cock-a-doodle-doo". The prostitute says "Any-cock'll-do".
Two prostitutes are standing on a corner, talking. The younger one asks the older one, a bit nervously, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The older one said "No...but I've been swung around by my tits a coupla times."
With that...I'm outta here.
For now...
Peace
Posted by: Stevie at 06:20 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
One more time
In the summertime
When all the tree and leaves are green
And the red bird sings his blues
'Cause you don't want my love...
Oh, sorry..got a little carried away with the Roger Miller, there.
Damn, I love that guy.
Back to this 'link'....shi....cra...stuff.
(Dear God,
I was a good kid. I did the dishes. I'm almost done the laundry. I took care of all the animals...so, PLEASE let this work.
Thank you. Amen...)
Posted by: Stevie at 06:04 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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