Whoa...
Five Questions for Stevie
1. Mountains, beach, or desert?
Mountains, definitely. Cabin, garden, venison...just me and Eric. A coupla horses, cats, a dog. (A small dish wouldn't hurt my feelings, either)...hot tub, no nearby neighbors...town about, what...an hour away.
2. Whats the best pet you've ever had, and why?
I hope ta God I'm not supposed to pick just one... Get ready for an essay answer.
The first two that sprang to mind (together) were Diablo and Daisy. Diablo was my Appaloosa. I used to show him in 4H. Together, we won Grand Champion of the Western Division of our county fair and Reserve Champion at the Game Day event the next day. (Game Day is timed events like barrel racing, pole bending, keyhole race, etc.) Now that I think about it, I remember that he (Diablo) was shown on the Channel 6 news doing the Trail Class. He was such a good horse. Neither of us ever had a single training session or riding lesson. Ever. We learned it all together, by ourselves. So, he was way more than a pet in a lotta ways. Daisy was the dog I had then. I got her as a puppy. Actually, my parents got her for me after I had had a flu or something. She as the best dog I ever had. I had her trained to the nth degree. She'd be in a chair and I would call her. She'd get her front paws on the floor, ass still in the chair, I'd say "Stay." and she would. Just like that. When I first got her, I read a book that said it takes days to teach a dog a trick. Well, I didn't believe that, so I trained Daisy to sit, lay down and roll over all in one day. She learned it well, too. Every day, for the rest of her life, when you told her to sit, she would...sit, lay down then roll over. Every where I went on the horse, she was right behind me. My mom used to say her whole name was "Daisy May or Daisy may not...it all depends on whether she wants to". If she did something dumb and knew she was caught, she'd get all embarrassed and start sneezing. She also gave me the very best Christmas present I ever got-PUPPIES!!! I've been blessed with a bunch of good dogs, present ones April the mouth that never sleeps and Ziggy the Wonderdork included, but never one just as wonderful as Daisy. I also had, around then, a goat named Laura, who used to follow the dog following me on the horse. I had one cat who fetched beer caps, another who got more excited about me steaming clams than I did, one who used to eat asparagas with me, one or two who used to like to "relax" with me (actually, I have one who's like that now...more about "relaxing" later...howtoexplainthis?)
Hell, all my kids are my favorites and the best one at being who they are, if nothing else.
3. How do you deal with stress?
By inhaling and hhhoooollllddding and releasing. Repeat as needed. Then here's cigarettes. After which I read, or sing, or go for a walk, or talk to/hug the piss out of Eric, or get on here. Sitting down with a cuppa coffee helps, too. (And, I hereby promise to give up my first method when I get a 'script for Nitrous Oxide with a lifetime of refills...or stupidity becomes outlawed-whichever happens first)
4. If you could sit down with anyone in the world and talk for 5 minutes, who would it be, and what would you say?
My answer to this used to immediately be : Dwight Yoakam and what I would have said was "May I please be your favorite guitar or pair of jeans?" My other top-of-my-head answer is : God and all I wanna know is WHY?!?! to about 9000 things. But...I'm thinking of someone else...who? Hmmmm.... Okay-famous person....Prince Charles. What I'd like to say is: "Alright, look, Charles, the first thing we're gonna do is teach you how to ride right. Enough with this stupid polo shit. Get rid of that cornflake you call a saddle and let's get you a real hunka leather. Once I get you accustomed to staying ON TOP of the horse, we need to talk about this Camilla crap. Are you blind? Eeewww. You are a PRINCE for Chrissake. You think that's the best you can do? Another thing...how old are you? What is with this "Mommy's boy" shit you pull everytime things get tough? Be a MAN! Tell her to piss up a rope when she's wrong. Quit kissin' her butt or you'll never be rid of her. Look, Chuck...I like you, I really do. But, you act like an uncoordinated putz most of the time and it has got to stop. Dude, the biggest reason your mom won't die is 'cause she's scared to death of the idea of you being King. Let's change that. Okay?" (I'd also like to ask Gary Busey one question: May I pleasepleaseplease be on your show "Hangin' with Busey"? We are both a little nuts and I think it would be a blast hanging out with you. I also think you'd be pleasantly surprised at how we'd sound doing Buddy Holley songs.)(And, yes there was too an 'e' in Buddy's last name...) Non-famous....Anderson Wood Harris, aka Andy, aka Dru. And, I'd talk to him about bullriding, heartbreak, himself, love, friendship, soulmates...anything I could think of to keep him in that bar for just 10 or 15 minutes longer. Long enough to let that asshole Olde Dominion driver ignore the junction sign, the 'Stop Ahead' sign, the 'STOP' sign its own damn self and blow through that blind intersection WITHOUT killing Andy like he did. With Andy's blue Chevy pickup wedged to the windshield under his trailer, in front of the back wheels of his trailer. (Quoted from stupid truck driver: "Oooh. I didn't even know I'd hit anything..." Asshole. I guess you didn't see the sparks from where you were dragging Andy sideways up the road AT NIGHT, while grinding his rim into the shape of a capital "D". As in DICKHEAD!) I'll never forgive that Anonymous Asshole and I'll never forget or stop loving my friend, Andy. Rest in Peace, Cowboy....(I wrote him a poem before he was killed called "The Gentleman Cowboy...he knows what I mean, dontcha, Dru?)
5. What is your favorite meal?
A pretty piece of sirloin, rare, a well made baked potato and asparagus...or succotash. Gotta have coffee, too. On the other hand, I'll also do Mickey D's any day of the week. Even when I'm sick. As a matter of fact, if/when I am sick, if I don't even want Mickey D's, you need to get me to the hospital or Coroner's office-one or the other.
Well, damn...that was FUN! I just hope it all publishes. I was surprised to see the cut & paste worked...hence the title, "Whoa".
Now, I guess it's my turn to come up with questions. So, anyone who wants to answer some questions, leave a comment to that effect. (I've been thinking about that. I don't get many comments, lotsa 'lurkers', but mostly silent ones. Soooo, if no one 'volunteers', I'll just go watch "Full Metal Jacket" again to get in the "D.I. Hartman" spirit of things and FIND a volunteer...heh, heh, heh...) C'mon, y'all. Ya don't want to see me whine, do ya's?
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