March 18, 2004
God must hate me...
BERKS PA-BUCKS PA-CARBON PA-CHESTER PA-EASTERN MONMOUTH NJ-
HUNTERDON NJ-LEHIGH PA-MERCER NJ-MIDDLESEX NJ-MONROE PA-
MONTGOMERY PA-MORRIS NJ-NORTHAMPTON PA-SOMERSET NJ-SUSSEX NJ-
WARREN NJ-WESTERN MONMOUTH NJ-
MORNING... LOW PRESSURE CURRENTLY LOCATED NEAR CHICAGO WILL MOVE QUICKLY TO THE
SOUTHEAST THIS AFTERNOON. IT IS FORECAST TO MOVE OFF THE DELMARVA
PENINSULA LATE TONIGHT OR EARLY FRIDAY MORNING, THEN INTENSIFY
RAPIDLY. THIS STORM WILL BRING AN ACCUMULATING SNOWFALL TO THE
REGION TONIGHT. THE SNOW SHOULD SPREAD UP FROM THE SOUTHWEST DURING THE EVENING. IT
MAY MIX WITH SOME RAIN AT THE ONSET IN SOUTHEASTERN PENNSYLVANIA AND
CENTRAL NEW JERSEY. THE SNOW IS FORECAST TO BECOME HEAVY AT TIMES,
ESPECIALLY DURING THE HOURS AROUND MIDNIGHT. SNOWFALL RATES OF AN
INCH OR MORE AN HOUR ARE POSSIBLE LATE TONIGHT. TOTAL SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 4 TO 8 INCHES ARE EXPECTED INTO FRIDAY
MORNING. THERE IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT SOME LOCATIONS WILL RECEIVE
SLIGHTLY HIGHER AMOUNTS. THE SNOW IS THEN EXPECTED TO QUICKLY END
FRIDAY MORNING. Siiiigh.
Ya know what? As long as He loves and protects Eric....I'm happy.
Pissed off about this endless evil also known as snow, but happy. snowsuckssnowsuckssnowsuckssnowsuckssnowsuckssnowsucks...ya know?
Posted by: Stevie at 01:46 PM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
DAD!!!!! Wouldja take a freakin' look at this....
Hooo-lee shit, man. We have GOT to go to Georgia and go fishing. Me, you and Norman.
Pass me the LARGE tub of 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' and my Nature's Seasonings and...look out!!!
Found this lurkin' here.
Posted by: Stevie at 12:22 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
This'll work....
Found this death test, again. This time, I found it here. (I'm assuming it's 'safe' to blogroll him, finally....)
Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:December 6, 2027 at the age of 64 years old. On that date you will most likely die from: Cancer (44%)
Heart Attack (14%)
Horrible Accident (6%)
Contagious Disease (5%)
Confusion (5%)
Posted by: Stevie at 12:06 AM | Comments (33) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 17, 2004
Okay, enough of Hitler now.....
None of these guys are Storm, but they can give you an idea what he looks like. The top two have his colors and kinda his coat pattern. The third one, if he was red roan, would be the closest match. Where this guys legs are dark gray, Storm's are red. That third one also kinda looks like Gia did, color-wise and size wise.
Storm also has a Quarter Horse body. Nice big, muscular ass, wide chest, gorgeous confirmation. He has the typical Appalooosa mane, but his tail is long and full.
He's a hottie, Storm is.
Matter of fact, the only way he looks better is with Eric on his back.
The only way THAT will look better is the horse shed out and Eric on his back with no shirt and his hair loose, not stuck in a ponytail.
I cannot wait.
Posted by: Stevie at 07:01 PM | Comments (34) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Yep...Ah shor is....
You are the grammar Fuhrer. All bow to your
authority. You will crush all the inferior
people under the soles of your jackboots, and
any who question your motives will be
eliminated. Your punishment is being the bane
of every other person's existence, because
you're constantly contradicting stupidity.
Everyone will be gunning for you. Your dreams
of a master race of spellers and grammarians
frighten the masses. You must always watch your
back. If only your power could be used for good
instead of evil.
What is your grammar aptitude?
brought to you by Quizilla
I love that I got this result. Cause it is true. When I'm not spelling like I talk, I drive other people nuts correcting shit.
Right, Ricky-poo? (Although, I must confess, being a closet grammar-nazi does come in handy at times. I can write 'lawyer-level' letters when need be. But, Lord Gawd Almighty would it be an ever-lovin' ass-ache to hafta do it all the time.) Found this here. Update @ 5:11am...I was gonna maybe do one more post or something before I go to bed, but each time I've come back here from someplace else and seen Hitler's hair and eyeballs (at first, as it reloads), it's made me giggle and then Eric saw it and said "What the hell is Hitler doing on yer blog?", which made me decide to just leave it up there for the whole "What the fuck? factor of it all. I just wish I could hear everybody's different voices and accents when they say it...lol.
And, just by the way...Morons DO serve a purpose. The ones in Rob's comments make me look and FEEL like a fuckin' genius. Jesus. I mean, hell's bells...if you were a guy being anally-raped in court by a scheming cunt and an incompetent judge, would you be real worried about offending a DA?
Fuck them and get an out-of-state lawyer, Rob. Someone along the lines of that Marvin Mitchellson dude (that hoity-toity divorce lawyer from years ago), or maybe a Racehorse Haynes or someone GOOOOD like that.
I mean, shit man...the lawyer ya have now probably couldn't intimidate the DA if he tried and he's not doing you a whole hell of a lot of good, now is he? No. If you're gonna hafta PAY to defend yourself, ya may as well pay for someone who is worth a shit, right? Riiight.
Boneheads.....(in the comments, not Rob.) Okay, I'mina go take a Pirin tablet (or 10) now and go to bed. (Whats a Pirin tablet, you ask? Well..."It'sa an aspirin wifa da 'a' anda da 'essa' scrape-ed off...") Peace, y'all....
Posted by: Stevie at 04:06 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Oh. My. Gawd.
This is too cool....
Reminds me of that Steven Wright joke about him having this unmarked button on his wall. He kept pushing it all the time.Then, he got a postcard from a lady in Germany saying "Cut it out." Y'all have GOT to see this.
Friggin' light bulbs have never been so much fun....lmao. Brought to my attention by the fabulous Mikey, ovah heah...
Posted by: Stevie at 02:54 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 16, 2004
Eeeeenough....
So....
I cleaned the whole house, did all the dishes, including the ones fermenting in the frig, did all the wash, baked a cake...I was trying to be a good kid. Just trying to maybe be able to whistle my way past this particular graveyard.
It didn't work.
Damn it all.
No. Fuckin' NOOOOOO! It happened.
It's STILL happening.
And, just to be as irritating as possible I'm certain, this shit can be HEARD. It's not good enough to just show up and perpetrate this evil in silence. Oh HELL no. If all it was doing was falling and sticking, thereby obliterating any hope of spring...that'd be vile enough, but at least having the shades drawn could block it out. As usual.
But, THIS shit...noooo...this shit is AUDIBLE.
And...
My hatred is palpable.
I'm filled with it.
It's almost amazing. I've been awake, and HEARING this horseshit for...what?...only 5 or 6 hours, so far...yet, so far, I have imagined and yes, even WISHED, a horrible, bloody death on two people and told God where to stick it. Not to even mention, barely restrained myself from fanning my hand back and forth very quickly at about shoulder level and telling Eric to stick his face in there, please. (Siiigh...) I am just a mean, nasty, crumudgeonly, sick-of-mother-fuckin'-snow BITCH. This dumb shit has a way of....weighing me down, depressing me, killing my spirit and just making me want to cease to exist...especially since what I REEEALLY wanna do-stomp and beat this shit into oblivion-isn't a viable option. Before I die, I swear I'm gonna move to a state where this ugly, ignorant shit is a once-a-decade, 15 minute novelty. Hell, EVEN HELL WOULD BE AN IMPROVEMENT. Which is why I have decided it is in EVERYBODY'S best interest that I just go back to bed. And, woe be unto the dork, me included, who wakes me up before this shit is long gone, like, say...April 29th. (Wouldn't wanna miss turning 4-freakin'-1 the next day, now would I?)
Siiiiigh. (Several minutes later...)
Whew...man.
Now that I got THAT out... Let me also state that somewhere, deep inside me, I am aware that I am positively BLESSED that this is the worst thing I have to deal with. I just wish it didn't get such a grip on me....ugh. It FEELS so much worse than it really is.
I know what 'worse' is and can be.
Not long after I got lippy with God, I had occasion to also say "There, but for the Grace of God go I..." and mean it.
Soooo...while I'm right here anyway and even though I didn't get mouthy with God here, let me say AGAIN here, that, yes God, I am sorry I got shitty with You, but, You do understand, don'tcha? You ought to. You made me. On that note....I'm gonna go read for a while in the antithesis of a snowstorm...my nice, huge, warm waterbed. Maybe I'll even hum "We're Having a Heatwave". In the meantime...
Snow, snow...go away
And, don't you DARE come back any other day...
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, EVER!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??? I"M SERIOUS...GET OUT, LEAVE, BE GONE, SCREW OFF AND DIE SOMEPLACE, WHY DON'TCHA? I MEAN, NOBODY REALLY LIKES YOU ANYWAY AND.... Huh? What?
Oh. Shit.
Sorry. Um...yeah.
Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 03:53 PM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
I'm gettin' there...
I've got 90% of the house done. Including re-bedding the bun-bun with new hay. It's always fun to watch him play in it.
I also lugged about a half a ton of trash to the dumpster. Then, I climbed fences inside a barn about 7 times to feed, hay and water Storm. Nothing I'd rather do that try to lift a 5 or 6 gallon bucket full of water through or over chest high fences that are doubled up with the seperate boards of each fence not lining up. I did the oats first. They were easy and they gave him something to do. Then I killed myself with the water. Then I did it all again with the hay. THEN, he needed another half bucket of water.
It was after all that, that I made dinner and got to cleaning...
I feel like I've been hit by a bus.
I'm about to get a shower and wash my hair...while the spice cake bakes.
Then, by the time I dry the cake and ice my hair (or something like that), the last load of clothes oughta be in the dryer, so I'll be going to bed.
This stupid snow that we're supposed to get?
If it's not the LAST snow of this year....I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS FOR AN AS YET UNKNOWN PERIOD OF TIME. That is all.
Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 02:31 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 15, 2004
I have had exactly enough of this shit (said very calmly through very clenched teeth)...
BUCKS PA-CHESTER PA-MERCER NJ-MIDDLESEX NJ-MONTGOMERY PA-
1120 AM EST MON MAR 15 2004
THEN MIX WITH AND CHANGE TO SLEET DURING THE DAY TUESDAY OVER THE
NORTH AND WEST SECTIONS AND POSSIBLY TO SLEET AND RAIN SOUTH AND
EAST. SNOWFALL ACCUMULATIONS MAY REACH TWO TO FOUR INCHES WITH THE
HIGHEST AMOUNTS TO THE NORTH AND WEST. THE SNOW WILL LIKELY CONTINUE
INTO THE EVENING HOURS TUESDAY, WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW AFTER MIDNIGHT
WITH SOME ADDITIONAL LIGHT ACCUMULATION. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Stevie at 03:28 PM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Just found this....
Reader's Digest, December 1981-
Personal Glimpses After their father's stroke in 1961, Jack and Bobby Kennedy's presence stimulated the independant old man to try walking without a brace. He stood erect for a moment, then began staggering. In a lightening move, Bobby grabbed his father. Joe Kennedy tried to struggle loose and began swatting at his son with his cane. Bobby laughed, eased his fist-shaking father into a chair and kissed him. Then he said "Dad, if you want to get up, give me your arm and I'll hold you until you get your balance. You've done that for me all my life, so why can't I do the same for you now?" Exactly.Posted by: Stevie at 02:22 PM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Okay, but....
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
...I'm gathering new feathers to make repairs. Stay tuned.
Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 04:26 AM | Comments (37) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Sorry Mike, buuut...John was right.
People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing.
Well, they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin.
When I say that I'm O.K., they look at me kind of strange.
"Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game."
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me.
When I tell that I'm doing fine, watching shadows on the wall,
"Don't you miss the big time boy? You're no longer on the ball..." I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round.
I really love to watch them roll.
No longer riding on the merry-go-round.
I just had to let it go. People asking questions, lost in confusion.
When I tell them there's no problems...Only solutions...
Well, they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind.
I tell them there's no hurry...I, I'm just sitting here doing time. I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round.
I really love to watch them roll.
No longer riding on the merry-go-round.
I just had to let it go. I just had tooooo
Let it go. This man wrote my LIFE.
Wish he'd found the answers, before....
Posted by: Stevie at 01:34 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 14, 2004
Politics 101....
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Posted by: Stevie at 09:06 PM | Comments (40) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
More email silliness...
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?(No...being covered in smoke is actually vaaaastly different than being covered in PISS...) 3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans? 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it? 5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? 10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged*, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
(*Oh, HELL yes...) 13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me....they're cramming for their final exam. 17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? 22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? 23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ " CATHOLIC FEMALE PARROTS"
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" "
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage
holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her
parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WEEKLY WORKOUT!! The Doctor told me, that I should start an exercise program. Not wanting to harm this old body,....I've devised the following program: Monday:
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through the morning paper.
Tuesday:
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of mole hills.
Hit the nail on the head.
Wednesday:
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the Band Wagon.
Run around in circles.
THURSDAY:
Advise the President on how to run the country.
Toot my own horn.
Pull out all the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.
FRIDAY:
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.
SATURDAY:
Pick up the pieces
SUNDAY:
Kneel in prayer,
Bow my head in Thanksgiving,
Uplift my hands in praise,
Hug someone and encourage them. WHEW!!!!! What a workout! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Subject: Kids and Toys..........
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they
made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured shewould break him of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down ... and saw her husband was holding a battery operated pleasure device ... a vibrator, soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She goes completely ballistic. "You impotent fake," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her square in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy ... if you explain the kids." Ba-dump-bump. Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 09:02 PM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 13, 2004
Two quick things...
First of all, Prince Charles needs either a smack upside the head or a swift kick in the arse. Whichever.
Second...I had a baseball game on earlier today...no idea who was playing...doing that, having a ball game playing in the background on TV, reminds me of when my Pop-pop was alive. He used to watch baseball all the time. What I want to know is how in the HELL is it the same dude announcing the games as it was when he watched 'em? I mean, jeez, Pop-pop's been gone for 22 years. But, I swear...it's the SAME ANNOUNCER GUY. The voice is identical.
I love it, because it completes the illusion, but how is it possible? If it IS the same guy, he's got to be a hundred years old by now.
Prince Charles needs to be smacked...really, really hard.
If for no other reason (and there are MANY), for thinkin' Camilla was worth hurting Diana for. I mean, not that being replaced with a supermodel woulda made Diana feel any better, but daaamn, man. Camilla looks like the south end of a northbound bulldog.
Charles must be blind, as well as completely retarded.
And I used to like him.
The dork.
Posted by: Stevie at 09:02 PM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
You, computer, are a magnet...
And, I must be steel, because I cannot get the hell AWAY from you to get my shit done, damn it.
Two days, now, I've had a plan. A plan that's been shot to hell by you and your mystic glowing screen.
Yesterday, I had two emails I wanted to get out. I did that. Got 'em both done and then TRIED to do the dishes. But, nooooo. You can't leave me alone for 5 minutes, can ya?
"I need maintenence...RIGHT NOW! Or, I'm gonna keep popping up that stupid 'scan disk' shit all by myself."
Or...."How about if I just fall off-line for no apparent reason, especially if yer waiting for an IM?"
You, Mr. Pooter, are a pain right in my ass, sometimes.
Ya know? Now...un-mindmeld me and let me get my shit done, damn it.
Posted by: Stevie at 04:25 PM | Comments (34) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 11, 2004
This is cool...
Found this at Random Fate. The homepage for it is here.
- Dogma::Catholic church
- Spirit::wild horses
- Voodoo::chicken bones
- Demon::The Exorcist
- Digital::cellphone (Nextel)
- Ceremony::wedding
- Research::weed
- Career::weed
- Penis::where?
- Film::camera
Dis is fuuuun.
Posted by: Stevie at 12:19 PM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Y'all will never guess who my favorite person in the world is right now...
A female insurance agent named Julie.
The woman is an angel.
I know.
A female insurance agent.... But, she really is the best. With all the car juggling horsepoop we've been through lately, we managed to get cancelled for missing a payment. Plus, we have the added attraction of an out-of-state licensed driver on the records (an absolute necessity to even have 'records' in the first place for us right now).
Julie was not only very sweet and helpful with it all, she even got us re-instated for less than the insurance company started out wanting. Yay Julie!!! I've dealt with her before and ever since I got the stupid notice from the insurance company outta the mailbox last night, I've been begging God to let it be her who answered when I called and it was...
Thank you yet again, Lord.
(Now, about Rob....) It wasn't all bad at the mailbox, either. Jason did indeed mail that glamour shot and it's now in the folder with the rest of the pictures to be sent to Paul.
Jeez. I guess I am kinda cute...with professional hair and make up people and the right lighting...lol. In other news....the cat can now go a whole 15 minutes without looking to make sure she can still see me.
And, I think Petey the Parakeet is pissed at me because I won't take him outside. He got out there a few days last week because it was so nice and he can't understand why he can't keep doing it. (Yet.)
He loooves being out there, hanging in the carport. He chirps his lil butt off at the other birds and has a great time. I feel so bad when it's nasty or too cold out and he can't go. Poor little shit. Okay...I can't not say something here...I'm (yes, AGAIN) watching my Monkees tapes and I swear, one of the best songs they did was "You Just May be The One". I'm gonna go grab up the lyrics and post 'em, I like what it says sooo much. Hang on a sec.... You Just May be The One
(By Michael Nesmith) All men must have someone, have someone
Who would never take advantage
Of a love bright as the sun.
Someone to understand them,
And you just may be the one. All men must have someone, have someone
Who would never take for granted
All the pleasures and the fun.
Someone to stand beside them
And you just may be the one. I saw when you walked by
The love light in your eyes
I knew I must try
To win you more than as a friend,
I’m starting near the end,
And I go again. All men must have someone, have someone
Who would never take advantage
Of the love bright as the sun.
Someone to stand beside them
And you just may be the one.
Someone to understand them,
And you just may be the one. Lord, I love singing that with Mike. "Sweet Young Thing", too.
(Aw, hell...I've never heard a Monkee's song I didn't like.) I also believe that song. All men SHOULD have someone like that...(and deserve 'em). Unfortunately, I know of more guys who DO deserve someone like that and either are alone or have someone who is basically the opposite of that. That's a sad way to run things, too. Anyway...I really should get cleaning. The house is starting to get away from me a bit and there's a cake waiting to be made....and I'll bet Eric would like some surprise tollhouse cookies. It'd be a surprise, too, cause I just made some when the kids were here and I haven't even mentioned making 'em again.
Think I will.
Think I'm gonna jack up some good rock-n-roll and get some shit done.
Then, if I can, I'll sneak outside later, too. If Miss Mommy Cat falls asleep or something, I guess...lol. Oh yeah...and, most very important...thank you to both people who have commented on 'Okay, let's try this again...'
Frankly, I was hoping it would come across correctly and be taken the way I felt it and it seems it has been....so far. (*keeping fingers crossed*) The first person, I emailed back and the second prompted this, so...again...Thank you both for recieving it the way it was intended. Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 11:30 AM | Comments (34) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 10, 2004
The rabbit test...
you are the "I hate you so bad" happy
bunny. You hate everyone and eveything and your
not ashamed of it.
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by: Stevie at 12:45 PM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Okay lets try this again...
I tried several times yesterday to get something posted, but...it wasn't happening.
I'm still bugged by what's going on with Rob, but everytime I tried to get it out, something froze. Either the stupid computer or my brain. I kept wandering off into explanations that made it too long and diluted the point.
Then, Erica had her kitten. Yep. Just one. That's fine. Everybody is doing great and I still have two to go in the prego-cat category. Somehow, I doubt I'll get off this light the next two times...but we can hope. I love kittens. I just don't really need 90 of 'em.
I remember the last time there were two females pregnant at the same time. It was years ago, but how do ya forget going to bed with 9 cats and waking up with 17? They both went off the same night. One load upstairs in a closet and the other in the downstairs bathroom sink.
Erica, on the other hand, has been glued to me since the night before last, meowing at me constantly. Then, when she got ready to give birth, she rather loudly requested my presence and has not let me out of her sight since. I consider myself lucky that she had the baby in a huge basket with a handle. It makes it lots easier to take her with me everywhere I go...lol. 'Course, I am getting kinda tired of the 'Little Red Riding Hood' remarks. "Wanna kitten-sit?" usually stops that crap...lmao.
All I need to do now is convince Erica that I will too come back if I go out to see the horse. The way she's been about being in every room with me, I haven't tried actually leaving the house, yet. Hell, it hasn't been 24 hours. I suppose she may still be a little freaked out. But, I really can't take her out there...I don't care what she thinks...lol. And, I do hafta get out there today. Well...maybe not HAVE TO...but I want to really bad.
Another reason I didn't get out there yesterday was the stupid freakin' white shit falling out of the sky. I mean...c'mon already. Enough wit dat shit, ya know? Not to even mention the fact that the ground is pretty much soaked and the poor boy (Storm) sinks up to his fetlocks every step he takes. Last thing we need is more precipitation...of any kind.
The ground needs to be able to dry out a little before it can handle any more water. If this seemingly endless deluge doesn't stop soon, it could cause flash floods and get completely out of control. It could even get ugly.
Same kinda thing can happen to people, too. I know it does to me. Too many not good things in too short a time can change a person. Whether the change is good or bad depends on a few factors...like, what kind of bad shit it is that's happening, how badly it 'gets' you, how you were taught to respond in the first place and maybe, whether or not there seems to be a point in surviving at all. Maybe it also depends on how you want to come out of it.
Whether or not this change is permanant also depends on a coupla things. Mostly, it depends on the strength of character of the person being shit on. Then, it goes to what kind of people are with them...around them. Whether these people are helping, or further hurting, the dumpee.
It's being able to tell the difference between those two types of people that always fucks me up. That and the fact that if it weren't for low self-esteem, I'd have no self-esteem at all.
I've often wondered for my own self, exactly how much shit is one person supposed to take before they catch a freakin' break? Now, I'm wondering it about a few other people, too. (I consider that to be an improvement, by the way. I've progressed from thinking all the bullshit in the universe is reserved for me...lol)
Anyway, one of the people I'd like to see get a break for once-even more than myself-is Rob.
And I don't even mean a big break, like people excusing him for having a really bad day, or maybe not judging him (lest they be judged)...I just mean I'd like to see life leave him the hell alone, if it can't be nice, for a year or two. Let him have time to try to recover from one trauma before the next three hit.
My very first and still uppermost thought at seeing the reaction people have had to the use of that word is that if THAT is 'the most disturbing thing' you've seen over there lately, you either haven't been over there or haven't paid one damn bit of attention when ya were.
Now, I've been through some pretty bizarre, sometimes pretty harsh shit in my life, but I guess I've also been at least a little lucky that it's been spread out over so many years. What I'd have been like if it had been compressed into less than three years is something that scares me to think about.
And, I'm fully aware that I "brought a lot/most/all of this shit on (my)yourself"...I ought be. It's been pointed out enough damned times. Ya wanna know something(s) about that? First of all, knowing it doesn't change a thing. It doesn't make the shit hurt less or tell you HOW you're doing it so you can STOP...all it does is reinforce the idea that you're a stupid, worthless ass who, it's plain to see according to everybody else, actually DESERVES what you're getting.
Horseballs.
Another thing about it...it's NOT INTENTIONAL!!!! It's a reactionary thing. It's not planned out and worked toward, the way people seem to think it is. It's just that after so many hits too quickly, you begin to perceive any actions by others as potential threats and don't react 'appropriately'.
Whipped dogs are like that too. And, head-shy horses.
Constant abuse leads to the kind of behavior that can be misunderstood into being the reason for the abuse.
It's a lovely fuckin' way to live, let me tell ya.
I mean, think about it...try to imagine LIVING this: In less than three years, a person you love, right or wrong, you really love, leaves you and takes your kid away. Pretty fuckin' bad. Then, they do all that and just happen to have a substandard replacement for you waiting in the wings. Meantime, you're finding out that you have friggin' cancer and if it doesn't kill you, it will, at the very least, render your dick inoperable for God knows how long...maybe forever...unless, of course you'd not mind jabbing a needle into it every time you want to make love, or have a huge operation in that area.
Now, both of these things get dumped on ya in about a week, so you feel you have nothing to even try to live for, so you go a little nutso for a minute and it gets blown into (nearly) an international incident and used against you more ways than one. The person who left you now enlists your family members to help have you locked up. While you're tied up, so to speak, dealing with that, the person who threw you a cinder block when you were about to drown then arranges it so that if you do manage to regain your freedom, you have no where left to go.
All this is done in less than month. Waaay less than a month. Somehow, you find the strength to start to come back from that. You find a place to live and about all you have left is your job. Thank God for that, at least, right?
Well...you've got a house again and still have your job, but, somehow, it's just not enough. It's still killing you. You need a release, before the pressure kills you. So, you write. And write and write and write.
Instead of any of the untold number of other ways people let off steam, like drinking, drugs, beatings, stalking, harassing...you write. And, it helps.
But, it doesn't make the shit stop happening.
If still having your job and getting a place to live was 'sitting up' from having been knocked flat on your back, then this writing is getting you to your knees, so you can soon stand....
Except....the shit doesn't stop. The person who left you continues to dog you. They expect you to play by the rules, while they write their own. That in itself is highly frustrating, let alone also trying deal with what they've already caused and that 'pesky' cancer shit.
Then, after a year or two of this nit-pickin', aggravating, needless shit from this person, you have major surgery. Ow. Thank God it worked.
But then....the person who just can't seem to see you bleed enough uses the one 'safe', non-violent way you have to vent and get over this shit maybe, to get you fired.
Then, they use your reaction to the further pain and frustration they've caused you as a reason to keep your kid from you at all.
And, have a sheriff at your door EVER, let alone multiple times in a week. (Note: In this next part, 'you' is referring to those who delinked Rob and those who just don't get it and want to kick him to the curb...)
Now...how would YOU feel? How would YOU be acting? How harshly would you want to be judged in that situation? How permanant would you like it to be seen as? Would you want everybody to forget who you really are and proclaim you to be a certain type of person just because of something you said?
I'm sure we'd all like to say "Well, even then, I'd have enough sense not to use that word. Especially ten times..." That's really easy to say now...thinking halfway clearly, but, really...when your mind is that poisoned by life, like it can be by drugs, you just cannot think things out or see them like you used to, like they really are.
When you've been beaten so long and so hard, sooner or later, you will lash out. It's almost never considered 'appropriate', either.
For the record, I didn't really care for the manner Rob chose in which to get his point across. I got his point, too, however. It just coulda been said in many other, nicer ways. But, I don't look to Rob for 'nicer'...I look to Rob for brutal truth. I expect that, so, even if I may be dismayed at the words he chooses sometimes, I still get what I came for...truth.
Believe me, reading about him drooling over eating goat when he went to Jamaica, when my own goat was missing, really hurt me. Pissed me off, even. But, it didn't change who Rob really is. Didn't change the fact that I like the guy. To quote the guys in the movie 'Porky's', when they're explaining Kavanaugh to Brian..."We (I) may not like everything he does, but he's our (my) friend..."
I, for one, ain't giving up just yet. It kinda seems to me like the people who have delinked him were just looking for an excuse to do so. Maybe they're just really uncomfortable reading a man fall apart (as opposed to 'seeing'). Maybe this was just the excuse they needed to walk away and look superior when they did. Hell, to their way of thinking, it's GOT to be better to be seen as morally superior and therefore 'done with him' than a chickenshit who wants to run just because they can't handle what he's going through and his reactions to it.
I can understand that, too. I've been that chicken-shit myself. I've delinked him a coupla times since he got back from Jamaica, but, not because he pissed me off or because of any one or two (or 10) words he said, but because I felt like hell watching him jitter apart and not be able to reach out to help if he wanted it. But, I felt even worse trying to walk away. (And, for the record, the times I did delink and relink him, I did NOT make a huge deal out of it. Yes, people can say anything they want in their blogs, but they also oughta be able to admit they do that kinda shit FOR HITS. Otherwise, they'd just dump the link, not say a word and go on. Just think about it....)
I just can't leave him, whether he knows or even cares I'm there, or not.
As long as he's breathing or until he tells me personally to fuck off, I'm sticking.
And, he may even have to do that more than once...
Right now, the man is like a lion with his paw in a leghold trap. He feels trapped, is in immense pain and will rip the head offa anybody who gets close, even if they're just wanting to get the trap off. It's not helping at all that there's a crowd of rubberneckers and idiots who wanna throw rocks and poke him with sticks standing around, either. Those would be the assholes, not everybody-just the assholes-in his comments. Hell, he's even slashed a few of the people he is 'used to'. Y'all are expecting him to settle down and be helped with a jeering crowd standing by? Riiiight.
If ya care enough about Rob and the issues surrounding having Rob linked to go into long-winded, self-serving explanations about why you're delinking him, then how come ya don't care enough to look past the bad words to the CAUSE of them? If half of the energy spent 'explaining' had been used to actually help the guy somehow, he'd be light-years ahead of the rest of us on the road to recovery (from the traumas of life, that is...).
If you can't be bothered to try to help, then why not just leave him alone? Is it fun to add to the load of a guy who is already staggering, or something? Just how far 'up' do people need to push themselves offa his already breaking shoulders?
Really what this all boils down to is kicking a guy who is so down, there doesn't even seem to be an 'up' anymore.
Bravo.
That'll really help him heal and not keep saying things in a boneheaded manner. Sure it will.
Posted by: Stevie at 10:51 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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