March 08, 2004
Another quiz...
Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
"You do not know the power of the Dark
Side." There are two possibilities: you
are a Star Wars geek, or you are unreasoningly
scary.
Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by: Stevie at 12:26 PM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 07, 2004
Hello....
How is everybody? (And, feel free to answer that. That's why God invented 'comments'...)
Us five are fine so far. The kids, both of 'em, got there Friday night and hung out with Big Eric (*weg*) until they all fell asleep. Then, yesterday afternoon, the little guy, Tiger, got his first horseback ride ever and...(get this)...his first sloppy joe's ever. Six years old and hasn't had 'em before. Ya see what I mean about that chick? Gawd...
Anyhow, the kid loves all the cats, dogs and other assorted critters and my littlest cat/kitten plays 'trucks' with him on the kitchen floor. She literally grabs the trucks/cars/tractor and smacks it back. Too cool....
Last night after everybody passed out on me (around 8:00pm), I made tollhouse cookies. Then, this morning, I made one of my huge breakfast deals I like to do. Tonight, for dinner...spagetts and-a meata-ballsssss. (Wonder if watching The Godfather last night has anything do widdat?)
Anyhow, I'm getting ready to go hang with the horse for a bit. I've got about two and a half or so hours til I start dinner and the water is off right now so I can't do the (damned) dishes til the pump gets fixed. Bill's trying to find someone to come fix it now...whole farm is 'dry' til it is, so I hope it's soon.
Peace
Posted by: Stevie at 03:44 PM | Comments (39) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 05, 2004
Lord....
Okay...lem'me see if I can get this straight.
I last went to bed about 1:30 Thursday morning. I was up again at around 3:00am til about 5a. Then, I slept from 5a til about 10a. I got up, went and met the horse, came back, went back and got him, got back here with him about 12:30 this morning and since then, I've cleaned the house and been out to visit him a few times.Not to even mention that, yesterday before we left, Eric shaved off his beard. Jeezus, what a sweet lil face he has. *grinning at the thought*
And, about an hour after we got back this morning my lil friend showed up.
AND...there are gonna be kidS here this weekend....I believe. The same two from the other week, when it got cancelled....remember? Yeah, well...here we go again...lol. House is clean, but not insanely so, there is still kid-food here from last time, so I don't need to get as much of that this time...I'm trying not to get too ready, lest I jinx it or some shit, ya know?
Now...lem'me run this crap by me one more time...house is clean...wash is almost done, dishes are done, catboxes and vacuuming, too...okay.
Good.
Next is a shower. I'm wearing sweats and what feels like about 60 pounds, or so, of hair and it's mine, not Storms. I haven't gotten done everything I want to do yet, but, when George gets home, we have to go to the store, so I have to do the last few things in a stupid order. So, shower, wash the hair...go to the store, get back, do dinner and go groom Storm. I know I'm gonna wind up covered in horsehair and dust again, but hell...it smells soooo good. That kinda 'not exactly clean' is way much better than I feel right this second, lemme tell ya... And, to top it off....as exhausted and crampy as I am, I've only lost my temper twice. I banished my old vacuum from my sight and this house 'cause it pissed me off. I got tired of screwing with it and unplugged it, grabbed it up and threw it out in the carport with the rest of the trash. Little pissant. I'll just use George's loud as a jet one....Heh?!? Wha??? Need earplugs for that booger, but it does suck up some miscellaneous crud.
The other temper tantrum was to throw a rocking chair across the living room. I was trying to slide it out of my way and the rocker on one side caught the edge of a rug in there and bunched it and everything sitting on it all up so I just lifted it and threw it out to my left and did what I was trying to do. Nothing I'd rather do than hafta fight furniture to be able to clean a friggin cat box. That's kinda like racing to a dentist or gynocologist appointment. I put it back like it belonged when I was done, too.
Anyhow, other than thaaaat...I'm...okay, so far. Long as I don't drown in the shower.... Peace.
Posted by: Stevie at 05:08 PM | Comments (34) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
We're back....
All went smoothly. He loaded right up and hauled fine. All those hilly, twisted, curvy roads and not one bang from back there.
Got him here and he hopped right out and led just as nice as ya please through the cows to the barn and into his stall and after we just stared at him for about 15 minutes, we left him to get settled.
Poor Eric has to go out to start milking and shit in about 4 hours, so he's sacking out on the couch (like a nap) instead of in bed (like I'd need dynamite to get his ass up in there), so all I 'hafta' do is hang for a while longer and make sure he gets up. (Like that'll be hard...pfft.)
Think what I might do is go hang with Storm for a while a coupla times between now and 5:00am, while it's quiet around here and just groom him up real good and let him get used to the sound and smell of me.
Maybe then I'll actually be able to go to sleep for a while after Eric goes out.
Posted by: Stevie at 01:20 AM | Comments (33) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 04, 2004
I am covered in horsehair and dust....
And it is WONDERFUL!!!!
Okay, now I can finally tell ya's...it's official. We own another horse. He'll be here by midnight, I believe. We're leaving to go get him in a little bit. It is kinda odd to do this so late, but the lady we're getting him from and the guy who is trailering him here for us both had time around 10:00pm to do it, so...whatever works.Eric (mostly) and I just got done putting his stall together, getting it bedded and all the buckets and the hay rack filled and ready.
He's an Appaloosa, starting to lose his sight a bit, about 15 or so years old, about 15.2 or 16 hands high and gorgeous. He's got a great attitude and personality and....I can hardly believe any of it. The coincidences are astounding with this horse. First off, he's an App gelding who happens to be visually impaired. My first horse (not pony) was an App gelding and my last horse was an App who was visually impaired. His current mommy and I have the same first name. The guy who is bringing him here for us is named ANDY!!! Even his name is a pisser...Now, it's a known fact that I think snow is evil and should be outlawed, right? Well, his name is Snowstorm and he's called Snow for short. Now, I'm either gonna call him Storm or just think up something completely different, liiiike 'Stunningly gorgeous hunka horse' or something....ooohhhh...how 'bout "Hitman"? Or, Beautiful Roan Exciting Thing...then I can call him Bret, for acronym (as opposed to 'for short')...lol. Hell...it'll come to me. In the meantime, I'm beginning to wonder who I've turned into...a car that's legal and runs AND this wonderful horse, all in less than a week. This kinda stuff doesn't happen to me. Much. And, the idea that I'm probably gonna get run over by a bus now, hasn't even crossed my mind. Much. (lol) AND, Jason found the one Glamour Shot photo I really wanted to find so I can put it on here. It's a newer picture, lighter and lots closer up. He said it's in the mail, so when it gets here, it'll join the others and be sent to visit Paul so he can do 'that thing he does' and then I can post 'em. Okay...question. If you can sing Albert's song that's being rehearsed toward the beginning of 'Birdcage', have ya maybe seen it a few too many times? How about if you can scream with him each time he does it?
Cause I can. I hear that dumb song even when the movie isn't on. I'll be hearing this melody in my head, start humming it and finally catch myself singing the few lyrics he actually gets through. I'm starting to worry me.
I do find it oddly comforting though, that the movies I'm memorizing dialouge from have changed from movies like 'Billy Jack' and 'The Godfather' to 'Birdcage' and 'Clueless'. Not that I've forgotten any of the lines from the old ones, but at least these are less violent and shit. Right? *crickets(laughing out loud)* Aaanyway...I've gotta get ready to get going, so...
Peace.
P.S. For the millionth time today...
THANK YOU, GOD!!!!!!
Posted by: Stevie at 08:37 PM | Comments (39) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
I TOLD you guys....
Your Sign Is: Exit Only
There's a 96% chance that you're sporting a penis .. or that you wish you had one
You're down for getting laid - but you're not going to make a fool out of yourself to get some
And wilder things are completely out of the question (except for a night with Jessica Simpson)
So it's no surprise that your sign is "Exit Only" - that's how your ass prefers to stay
What's Your Street Sign?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Swiped from Caterwauling. Update @ 12:00pm... EGADS!!!! It completely escaped my attention to mention that this site is NOT work-safe, apparently. I am SOOOO unversed in this aspect of it all...I never even thought about it. Snowball just emailed and said her IT dept. is freaking out over it.
Lord, I'm sorry Snow. I didn't even think of/realize that part. Anybody who can give me a 'shotgun breakdown' of this shit will be loved forever...Do not worry about 'dumbing it down', at all. Here...I'll even title it for ya: How To Recognize and Remember to Warn About "NSFW" Sites For Morons". (Meaning me, of course.) Again, I really am sorry, Snow. If there is anything I can do, just let me know. (This, by the way, is EXACTLY why I constantly say I'm a retard, for those of you who wonder such things. See? I am too right. Gawd...*shaking head at self*)
Posted by: Stevie at 01:23 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 03, 2004
Hey Dad!!
There's somebody else from DuPont reading me! They were here at about quarter of six, last night...after you'd left the lab. Any idea who it is? It better not be that rude dude...if it is, yeah, I still remember you giving me a load of shit that day and no, I haven't forgiven you for it. Fuck you and your bad day. Don't be taking it out on me. Asshole. (Not that it's any of your damned business, but IF I'm calling Dad, you can bet your stupid ass there's a reason for it and the last thing I need is another pile of shit from YOU. Got it? Good.)
Anyway...the reason for this post is to clarify (!) a bit on the last one. (Like it ain't long enough...)I just read it myself and it struck me that it gives the impression that I don't think any nice, decent people EVER 'make it' in this bullshit. That's not true. I know that every once in a great while, they do 'get there' or at least on the way. I knoooowwww....hmmmm....two? people who are not assholes who, if you define 'success' in the standard manner, are successful. Jason and my Dad. Each of them has had the same job for years, make plenty of money, have kids, have vehicles, houses, cool shit in said houses...they did it. They made it. Two people out of how many?
The odds of a decent person 'succeeding' are staggering. And...that for the ones who understand and can actually play the damned game. I don't understand ANY of it nor do I possess the slightest idea of HOW to do any of this shit, so what are the odds of me getting there? Slim to none, at best.
But...what da fuck. May as well give it shot, right? At least then, people can see me trying it their way and get to say all new shit about it failing, when it does.
Goody.
Whatever. I just wanted Dad and Jason (and for some damned reason Ken of Ken's Page, too) to quit lookin' at me sideways in my mind, like they're asking "I'm an asshole?" No. Y'all are not assholes. You're miracles.
But, there's Paul and George and Eric and me and 72 bazillion other decent people who get nuthin' but fucked. Can't get ahead no matter WHAT.
It's the difference between you two, Dad and Jason, (and the few others like you two) and the rest of us nice people that I need to figure out, I guess. Neither of you two have a truly evil bone in yer body....but, somehow, you two did it. You managed to, somehow, deal with those assnuggets and actually get ahead. Without being just like them. Amazing.
There have been assloads of books on how 'successful' people did it. Has there ever been one about how 'nice' people do it? I'd like to devour that one, if so. I need to go walk around in the woods for a while. My brain hurts.
Posted by: Stevie at 06:30 AM | Comments (37) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Okay...back to that 'newsflash'...
Why do I say I'm nuts? Mostly because I am. The question is...why. Why am I nuts? Not 'what caused it'...I know that.
I just want to (maybe need to) figure out why it is that my conclusions and subsequent actions, or lack thereof, is nuts.
Let's examine this, shall we?
Or, how about taking a rodeo bronc to the Olypmics? Yeah, let's do that. Let's take a horse that's been taught nothing except to rebel, buck and be left alone and expect him to do dressage. Then, when he has no idea what the fuck yer even talking about or asking for or how to even begin to start doing it, call him a horrifically depressed loser. Tell him how wrong he is for not just jumpin' on in and taking home the trophy. And, let's not forget to 'punish' him for not gettin' it. Even if it's not physical abuse, make sure you keep reminding him how 'defeatist' and 'depressed' amd 'wrong' he is, cuz THAT always helps, right....?
How about if the activity is stabbing yerself in the leg with a fork? You have to do this because everybody else does and you'd...gasp!...be 'wrong' not to do it yourself and the only point is to see who has the most poke marks in the end.
Stupid, right? Not something a sane person would get involved in, right? Right. Well, WHY THEN, is it sooo bad that I don't get it about life itself? From what I have seen, honest people get fucked. Nice people lose. People who are not mercenary, money grubbin', back stabbing, liar fuckholes don't even register in the win column, usually. The meek shall inherit the earth. Good things come to those who wait. Bad people will lose in the long run.
Really?
WHEN IS THIS GONNA BE? I don't wanna miss it. As if. That shit ain't gonna happen. Wanna know what happens to people who cheat, lie and steal to get ahead? Nothing. If they don't get called on it in the stupid aspects of life, how am I suppose to believe they're ever gonna be called on it with the big, important parts?
Vince McMahon, for a retarded example....he's a known steroid user, he screwed Bret that time in Montreal and what happens to him for that? Nothing. He gets away with it and gets even richer. Great.
This guy that Eric works for...he rips Eric off every chance he gets. He gives him a raise and puts conditions on it, then makes Eric chase him down for days on end to actually be handed the cash, for just one tiny example. This idiot lair guy, Jon....what price does he ever get charged for all the bullshit he perpetrates? None. He just goes around, arbitrarily spewing shit all over someones life just because he feels like it and it's so fuckin' okay, that NOBODY EVER calls him on it. "Oh, that's just Jon..."....No. That's just bullshit.
My own mother...she fucked several of my boyfriends, screwed my Dad over and what did she get? A nice house and married to a better person than she deserved. Twice. I never once even cleaned her clock for the shit she did and I really should have. Given the chance right now, I would. I'd beat her back to death for what she did to people whose only 'sin' was to love her or be born to her. (Dad loved her, I was stuck being her offspring....) Now...hang with me a second here....If you drive drunk and risk hurting other people, you get locked up if you get caught. If you intentionally hurt somebody for any reason, like stab or shoot them because they looked at ya wrong, you go to jail, if ya get caught. If you do bad things and get caught, you get punished. EXCEPT when you're just lying or cheating or fuckin' somebody in the name of 'getting ahead'. Then, it's fine and instead of being 'punished' if yer caught, the rest of the world is just supposed to deal with it. I don't get that. I know that's the way it is, but I. don't. get. that. Never have, never will.
And, that, friends and neighbors, is the point here. Why do I have to participate in such a corrupt, stilted, stacked-against-ya, low percentage chance of winning, bullshit enterprise? I've been there. I've tried. I quit struggling for a while and just sat back and observed this game and I've decided it's not worth it. The game is life itself. And, no...I'm not thinking about offing myself. I just don't see the point anymore, if I ever was able to. After talking to my buddy Jason and my Dad yesterday because I thought me and George were headed for a showdown, I came away with more clarity and less enthusiasm than ever.
Briefly, there was no showdown. Both of us were just getting bunged up over miscommunication and outside shit. No biggie. Ever'thing's cool. Except....
me. Without exception, the one thing everybody seems to agree on is that I am WRONG to choose to not participate in this poorly written, wretchedly executed soap opera called life. Well....WHY? I wouldn't purposely do something I know I'd lose at and get hurt doing, like jumping into a wrestling ring to avenge Bret. Hell, even with a GOOD reason like that, I wouldn't do it. I also wouldn't try to stand down an oncoming train, which is pretty much what getting out there and participating in life seems like. I mean, Jesus...if ya try something that turns out to be....'unpleasant', you stop doing it and unless yer brain damaged, ya don't keep doing it over and over, right? Right. BUT...when you do something that has been nothing but heartbreak, pain and ultimately pointless to boot, you aren't allowed, suddenly, to call it bullshit and stay out of it. You just have to do it. WHY? Well, dopey little female person that we all love but do not even begin to understand....You do it, you eat shit from assholes everyday, so you can get 'things'.
Oh.
Okay.
So, the obtaining of 'things' is the point? Eating shit is worth it because then you get to have 'things'. Like cars...that cost almost more than they're worth. But, you have to have a car, to have a job, so you can eat shit to get more things. Oh. The deal is, you eat enough shit, to get enough 'things' to make eating shit get easier and be worth it. Riiiight.
Wanna know what 'things' really are? They're things to lose, to be taken from you by whomever for some reason they decide is valid. Even if it's not. The more ya have, the more ya have to lose. Again...what's the fuckin' POINT? I don't wanna amass a great pile of things just for some dillhole to use to fuck with me even more. A car is all fine and good, til ya try to get the damn thing legal. They make that so friggin impossible, it's a joke. Oh, but if I had a car and a job (i.e.-ate shit), I could better afford all my animals...that everybody already fucks with me about. It's STUPID to have so many animals, remember? Okay, then...having a job will make it so you have money for other things. What other things? Which ones are that damned important? The only one I can come up with is getting Eric a lawyer so he can have his goddamned life back, but, fuck man. That, I'd need my Dad's job and seniority to pay for. Ain't ever gonna have THAT. I'm not stupid. Hell, my Dad DOES have that, and he's not that much better off than me with being able to save money. He's usually sorta broke too, just on a much grander scale...oh good. Yes. Let me do THAT. My tiny mess of a life isn't enough...let me do it BIGGER. (siiiigh....) The biggest part of my resistance to all this is that I don't wanna be like 'them'...'them' being the ones who win big...the liars, the cheaters, the users....I'd rather be broke and keep my personal integrity and dignity than throw it aside and jump in the cesspool. Ya jump in the cesspool, even if yer not a bonafide turd, yer still gonna smell like shit. Yer still gonna get that effulent all over yerself. How in the name of Gawd is that worth it? Because you get to say "Ha ha. By association and due to the fact that I'm covered in shit and stink to high heaven, no one can now see that I'm NOT like you bottom feeding slimes, BUT...that's fine, because now I get to go home and play with my 'things'"...?
Dear God.
Now...these 'things' are supposed to be what makes it worth it. They're to be what recharges you, thereby enabling you to go out again the next day to eat another load of shit from some sexually frustrated, middle management dolt, whose sole purpose in life is to make people miserable because he is.
Fuuuuck that.
But...wait. Not allowed to say that, am I?
I can plainly see it's all shit. There is no amount of material goods on this entire planet that, to me, are worth having to be used, lied to, ripped off, fucked over and shit on for. I am sorry. But, it's just not worth it. To me.
I understand, now, that, worth it or not, I have no choice. It's either participate in this crooked bullshit or do what I've been doing...fucking with no one, no one (or the barest minimum of people) fuckin' with me. I made a deal with the world a few years back. You, world...fuck off and so will I. You leave me alone and I won't fuck with you either.
But...that's wrong.
Knowingly participating in a crooked, bullshit scam isn't wrong. (It's NOT???)
No. Choosing not to is wrong.
That sooo does not make sense. To me.
I mean, hell, if I HAVE to just because everybody else does, then that cop, Serpico, was wrong. Hey...he saw what it was and he rebelled. He shoulda just gone along for the ride. How dare he stand up and shout "This is WROOOOONG!!!" and try to not get drug into it? He fought it and 'won', if you call winning losing everything up to and almost including his life. Wanna know what he managed to get 'changed'? The fact that he was a cop and had a career. That's what he changed. That shit he fought against still goes on.
So, fighting an 'it' that big and firmly entrenched is stupid. Going along is also unacceptable.
What's left?
Existing. Surviving. That's all that's left. And, ya don't need 40 million pounds of 'things' to do that.
Dad said that, basically, about the only thing left is to go live on a mountain and be all alone, live off the land and just be. Yeah...I know that. Don't even fool yerself into thinking I haven't thought of that. Those 'mountain men' people who live in places like Idaho and wherever make more and more sense every time I think about'em...EXCEPT...they don't get left alone, either.
Ruby Ridge, anyone? That name ring a bell?
The only REAL way to get through this is to be as much of a 'non-person' as you can. Lay low, don't attract attention, ask for nothing, get that and go on.
That I can do. Yeah, maybe it is stupid, but, it's MY stupid, not the world's, or the government's, or anybody elses. It's mine.
Not that it's all that much better to be able to say "Yeah, I'm still getting fucked, but at least it's my own dick...", but it is true. Being alive equals getting fucked. End of story. You should at least be able to choose what gets shoved up yer ass. Ya know? Here's another example...I've been re-reading a book called "Careless Whispers" about three teenagers who were killed in Waco, Texas in the early 80's. The why's and who's don't matter right now...tho, it is a good book. The point is, is that this one cop, Truman Simons, was driven to solve this case, even though it took almost (or maybe a bit more than) a year, because he was enraged that these kids had had their 'futures stolen from them'. Now, I'm not about to try to say that David, the dude who killed them, did them a favor, but...how does Simons know what they're futures were gonna be? They could've been about to get drug down the highway to hell by life, like me. So...to my way of thinking, he (Truman) shoulda let the rage at the senselessness of David's reasons for killing them be the driving force. Not that 'future' shit. Hell, David may have saved them from God-knows-how-many years of heartbreak, pain and frustration. Course, he may also have stupidly killed the person who was gonna find a cure for AIDS, too. Who can know for sure? Who even cares? He killed 'em, now he's dead too. That was at least fair. I just didn't get it how Simons could be so convinced that he robbed them of 'wonderful' futures. Maybe I wonder that because all three kids were troubled to begin with. From broken homes, living in a place called "The Methodist Home" and having other problems. I dunno. It's just that everytime I read that, I think "Well, Truman...I'd not have thought of it that way, but...you go, Dude." I'd have gone after him simply because what he did was WRONG and, godDAMN it, I'm sick of seeing people get away with shit like that. Shit. I dunno. Sure, I can admit that my way of doing things isn't exactly condusive to obtaining 'things', but that's never been my point. My point, my goal, my fondest desire...is to not ever be fucked with for fun or profit ever again. I have gotten that, as much as is possible being alive. Maybe after a bit more time of this, of being minimally fucked, I'll get to where I start to want those 'things'. It certainly seems like I SHOULD, according to just everybody.
But, if I don't? Does that make me bad? Does that make me a loser? Does that mean that I deserve what I've been handed as a life or that I don't deserve anything good or 'extra' just because I don't wanna be a shit? Lord. Now, I hear another buddy in my head saying "Yes, but...if you'd go get that help I keep talking about, get the meds you need to get your head right, it wouldn't all look like this to you." Maybe. But, that requires a leap of faith (in human beings) that I don't have. I coudn't trust my own fuckin' mother to do right by me. How am I supposed to trust some damned doctor who doesn't even know me and is just in it for the money? It's not the people who count, it's the people who can PAY for the help that matter. And that, dang it, smells like bullshit to me, too. Yes, I've tried that, too. Gone to a 'free' clinic place back in Jersey where the first fuckin' question after they find out you don't have money is "Well, who in your life does? We'll go after them for this..." Nope again. I will not ask people who didn't do this to me to pay for it and digging up my rotting mother isn't gonna get them any money, either, soooo...apparently, I'm not worth helping.
Thanks, Health Care Commons, ya mercenary buncha bastards. You did nothing but prove my point to me about myself. I'm not even worth the aggravation to begin with.
Yeah...that helped lots. So, here I am. Goin' 'round in circles, just hoping it's a drain and that, sooner or later, I'll finally go down it. It (my head) looks like the worlds biggest, baddest, nastiest knot. And, somehow, I'm supposed to WANT to undo it, to begin with, then be able to, period. Again...riiiiight.
It's exactly like this license shit, only huger. See, I don't have my license right now. It got suspended in the first place, because I'm a dork and forgot to pay a ticket. So, I got suspended and didn't know it. Then, I got stopped because my friggin hood wouldn't stay completely closed and SURPRISE!!! "Do you know you're suspended?" Ahhh...no. But I'll take yer word for it, Occifer. So, I go to court and, because the cop wasn't a dick and he was right, I was suspended, I pled guilty and paid the fine. The instant I did that, I got suspended for an additional year, which is over in September. Now...the cute part is I can get my license back RIGHT NOW if I have a job. HOWEVER, it'd be a hell of a lot easier to GET a job WITH my license. Cute, ain't it?
Well, that is my whole entire life in a nutshell. Ya need this to do that, but ya hafta do that to get this.
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!! Just leave me alone. (Not you guys...the rest of the world.) I can't even tell myself I need to go eat shit in the name of Eric, because I simply cannot make enough soon enough, no matter how much shit I eat, to get him a lawyer. Everyday that passes sees him get into the shithole deeper and it's already so huge, it makes my head shit look like a mere rash, or something.
So, in order to kill his dragon, I have to slay my own, on my own, first. And, I barely have the energy or motivation to breathe most days.
Oh yeah....this oughta be fuuuuun. The one good thing in all this, the one thing that's different now than it's ever been beore is this: This is NOT dragging me back down, this time.
It's pissing me off.
I can feel the beginnings of "Okay, fine. I have to be an asshole, which is the only way to get ahead in this bullshit game? Well, then, I will be. But, I'm gonna be the best, baddest, biggest, bleeding-est asshole y'all ever saw." I don't do anything half-assed to begin with. Why start then? And, God knows I have been subjected to enough lessons on the subject to start out at the Pro level....
And...the first person who bitches about what a wank I am, gets it. Right in the throat and I don't care if I get locked up. Don't sit here telling me I HAVE TO do this shit, but can't do it up right. I HAVE TO? Okay.
I will.
Fuck it. This being nice shit doesn't get ya anywhere, right? Fine. "My brain swing like a pedulum do....Dipshits in my face, two by two...." I do rather feel like I'm gonna have another chance at this shit when I get my license back. All I need to do now is get my shit together and be ready when the time comes. Hopefully by then, the majority of the 'pissed-ness' will have abated. Otherwise, I can see where it may not work out again.
I think what I want to do is use the anger now, to get myself ready. Lose the weight, get tough, learn to be mean....learn how to start fucking back. God only helps those who help themsleves, right?
Well, I hope to hell He forgives them, too. (Fade out to the sound of the beginning of the original "Rocky" theme.....) Peace.
(On a quest for it now. I'll keep ya's posted...lol)
Posted by: Stevie at 05:28 AM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 02, 2004
Okay...
It's been almost an hour.....
After having swallowed four aspirin, a coupla cups of coffee and brushing my hair, I feel better. I don't know what it is about brushing this hair out, but it do feel fine...Makes me take a big ol' deep breath when I flip it all back over and it settles. It feels like it makes my brain (yes, yes...what little I have left) relax or something.
The last stupid thing I saw was some big dude droning on endlessly about how he 'attacked' some little dude for 'the good of America' or some such rot. Then, there was this tag team match that Andre the Giants son was in and all he did was beat the crap out of a guy that stood about 2'6" by comparison. I know that big dude finding 'someone his own size' to wrestle would be hard, at best, but the guy he was throwing around like a lawn dart wasn't even as big as the other guys. It. was. just. stupid. And, between Andre the Giants kid and his partner, the little dude never even had a chance to tag his partner. Yeah. That's fair. Aaaanyway.... Right? I'll be back.
Peace.
(Know where I can get any?)
Posted by: Stevie at 05:46 PM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Here's a newsflash...
I. am. fuckin'. NUTS.
It's not the rest of the world. Oh, nooooo....It's allll me. Got it. *Banging head on desk...again.*
Posted by: Stevie at 04:35 PM | Comments (38) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
OMG....
I love this person...
(rotfl....dish towels....)
Plus, I got a new one for the 'roll from her, too. Put down the donut....made me laugh out loud and one post about 'just do it' is dead on. So, it's 'rolled.
This too shall pass.
Posted by: Stevie at 04:28 AM | Comments (34) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Okay...cool.
You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your
wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame,
they burn with light and power and rebirth.
Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an
amazingly strong person. You survive, even
flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm
believer in the phrase, 'Whatever doesn't kill
you only makes you stronger,' you rarely fear
failure. You know that any mistake you make
will teach you more about yourself and allow
you to 'rise from the ashes' as a still greater
being. Because of this, you rarely make the
same mistake twice, and are not among the most
forgiving people. You're extremely powerful and
wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion,
and anger. Perhaps you're this way because you
were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or
maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality
and know that life is tough and the world is
cruel, and it takes strength and independence
to survive it. And independence is your
strongest point - you may care for others, and
even depend on them...but when it comes right
down to it, the only one you need is yourself.
Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on
a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your
wings to guide you.You are eternal and because
you have a strong sense of who and what you
are, no one can control your heart or mind, or
even really influence your thinking. A symbol
of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very
spiritual person with a serious mind - never
acting immature and harboring a superior
disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity's
stupidity and tendency to want others to solve
their problems for them frustrates you
endlessly. Though you can be stubborn,
outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Oh what da hell...while I'm at it....I like you a lot, Snow and I keep wanting to say so, but I hesitate to comment much because I'm the
'new female' in my situation. However, I firmly believe that your X and my sweetie's X were seperated at birth. Uggghhh. I'll keep you and B in my soliloquies (speeches, conversations, rants) to God....) Hang in there, Snow and just remember...all we REALLY hafta do is outlive these assholes.
Posted by: Stevie at 03:15 AM | Comments (38) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
March 01, 2004
Horseballs...
Sure wasn't me.Might I add...
Oh great.
Posted by: Stevie at 03:51 PM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Yeah, man...cool...(lol)
You are Woodstock!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by: Stevie at 09:24 AM | Comments (38) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Okay, Pixy...a can of tuna?
|
A can of tuna....sheesh.
(lmao)
Posted by: Stevie at 06:42 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Blogger Idol...
This is into week 7 already and I haven't done post one, yet. The topics seem a bit ambiguous and it makes it hard to know where to start. I've decided to list all seven topics in case anybody wants to start, join in, catch up or maybe just needs some ideas.
Here they are:
Freedom
A day in the life of...
Oops
Picture this
Movies and Play. The only one I ever had any direction on was "Freedom" and that was because Larry, I think, wanted to know what "The price of Freedom is written on the Wall" means. That one, I'm still kicking around. This has shown me one thing...Me, Miss Independant, needs parameters to work within. How odd. Anyhoot...if ya's want, go for it. If ya want to enter them, click on 'Livingroom' in my roll. Dareen is the one who started it all. Have fun.
Peace
Posted by: Stevie at 06:26 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Oookaaayyy.....
Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive, the fathers make each other a bet -- in a year's time, whichever family has become more American will win.
A year later when they meet again, the first guy says, "My son's playing baseball, I had McDonald's for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud for tonight.How about you?" The second guy says, "Fuck you, Towel-Head!" (Shaking my head, sighing and giggling, all at the same time.)
Posted by: Stevie at 06:08 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Investment advice (that actually makes sense)...
If you had bought $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would be worth $49.00 today.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
Now, if you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 5-cent deposit, you would have $112.00.
Based on the above, your best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
This retirement program is called the 401-Keg.
Posted by: Stevie at 06:05 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Differences...
How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamperaccording to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband; along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth , arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6 . Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair on 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off! hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed. And there ya have it.
Posted by: Stevie at 06:00 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
That Dixie Test....
Here it is.
I'm (at least) 59% Dixie....I knew it.
Posted by: Stevie at 05:55 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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