Steve Earle dot com

My God, that hair.... mmmm. *wipes drool off chin*

Well, I guess I know what I'll be doing for the next little while... digging all my Steve Earle tapes out. They're all within a five foot radius of where I'm sitting, I'm just not sure IN what.

But, I can see a night of Steve, Tequila Rose and David happening.
I am so scared that David is dead... shit.

Anyhow, if ya ever run across Guitar Town, Exit 0 or Copperhead Road, go on and get 'em. You won't be disappointed.

In fact, you'll fall in love.
Steve Earle kicks ass.

Posted by: Stevie at 06:44 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Now you know this dog was thinkin'....

"Duuude, this is soooo wrong."

This headline shoulda been "Dumb and Dumber Drag Innocent Dog Into Their Nightmare"... film at eleven.

rotflmfao.....

Posted by: Stevie at 05:11 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Reminds me of the old joke about the pitfalls of blind people sky diving: how to keep the dog from screaming on the way down.....

Posted by: Mad Mikey at June 16, 2004 01:32 PM (NmR1a)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

June 14, 2004

It's getting close to that time again....

Tonight on A&E at 9:00 & 9:30.

Posted by: Stevie at 02:27 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Oh, and about the 13th...

Suffice it to say it was one looooong day.
That's probably because it started insanely early. As in: 11:00am, 6-12-2004.
That was when I got up, after I finally got to sleep after locating the pissed off kitten in my room at 7:00am. (She was in a corner of the closet that I needed a miner's helmet (with a lamp on it?) and a map to find...)

I got up and continued cleaning. My house is so clean right now, it's almost scary.
What cats? HOW many? Dogs, too?
Yes.

Since the major project of cleaning this place back around my birthday, it's been pretty easy to keep up with. Even when I let the dishes congregate for a while or DON'T keep up with the wash to the degree that I wash Eric's clothes even if he only had them on for 14 and a half minutes like he always says, I've been able to not only keep up easily, I've also managed to get some of the things done on my "Bitch Do" list. (That's my version of the "Honey Do" list that I make for myself...)

So, yesterday I not only finished the wash and vacuumed and re-did all the animal stuff and the usual shit like that, I actually dusted the living room. With Pledge, even.

Hey man, I even did all the cabinets in the kitchen and every where else. If it's any kinda wood, simulated or otherwise, it got Pledged.

I even "Pledged" the kitchen ceiling. (Repeat after me, please... "I, state your name..." *pause* "I, state your name"... they repeat back verbatim... Thank you... Thank you ver' much...)

Still, it's shiny.

The carport is... simply awesome.

I want to hang out out there, now.

Have ya ever seen a two car gargage so stuffed with shit that only one car can fit and there are paths thru said shit to various other spots in said garage? Well, that was what the carport was like and it's not even big enough for two cars to begin with. Sheesh.

There's so much room out there now, you can park the car in it and walk around the entire car like a normal person instead of schoochin' along side-steppin' like a deranged country line dancer. On crack. With no music playing.

That was always fun when unloading groceries, let me tell ya.

Anyhoo... The house is clean, the yard is newly landscaped by WonderBoy, a.k.a. 'Eric' (who knew he did landscaping? Not me, man...wow.), the carport has been re-claimed in the name of 'ME', the horse's stall is ship-shape (quickly checks to make she used a 'p' and not a 't' in that first word...) and it's gorgeous.
It's also very strange, cuz I keep wondering whose house I've accidentally wandered into and where'd they get my cats from? Oh, yeah... our house. Forgot. (I'm still kinda punchy from no sleep...) (Heh.)

Around noonish yesterday, we 'passed' a kind of 'inspection', as it were. Then, we took a little road trip. (Don't let me forget the whole "Porsche analogy" from that experience as soon as I can say anything about any of it... Gawd.)

Got home around 6? 7? I dunno. It was still light out. Had some dinner and went to bed. It was stll a little light out then, too.

Got up at 3:30/3:45am and here I am, sluggish, bleary-eyed and suckin' back coffee. (Christ, I wish I got that 'caffeine charge' thing people talk about....)

It's overcast and perfectly not hot or cold. It just IS. Birds are chirpin', calves are bawlin' a bit, but... is it supposed to rain?

Better still... do ya's WANT it to rain? If ya do, I can go outside with the intent to ride Storm. It'll go on and rain then. If I crawl back to bed for a while, it'll get nice out. Til I get up, anyway...

Yeah, that reminds me... if anybody around here ever needs it to rain, just let me know. All I hafta do is wash my hair and get out across a field, away from the house and it'll rain, sure as shit. Kinda like washing a car, without the waxing part.

I should charge for it, it's so fool-proof.

Guess I'll go decide by hangin' with the can-opener going to the 'library' for a bit...

Hell, that IS where politicians make all their final decisions, ain't it?

Peace, y'all....

Posted by: Stevie at 04:59 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Dear (stupid, stupid) MTBlacklist...

Hi, it's me, the one who writes this dreck.

Look, man. We've got a problem, that, if ya don't resolve, is gonna end up with you evicted from my world.

For the record, I have ENOUGH stupid shit in my life that exists to fulfill one simple purpose and canNOT seem to do it; such as a toilet ya hafta flush a MINIMUM of 27 times to 'not be disgusting' after using it, a fuckin' CAN OPENER that'd make a better toilet than a can opener seeing as the way I wind up actually gaining entry into said can is by BASHING it to smithereens with the alleged 'can opener' after it turns out the pice of shit can't cut TINFOIL, let alone an actual can and on and on. Dude. I OWN A NEXTEL CELL PHONE!!!!! (Talk about yer basic 'excersizes in frustration'.... GRRRR!!!!)

There are doors it's hard to open, harder to keep closed or that wanna close while you're still in 'em. Cars who decide "YOUR QUARTER RAN OUT!!!! AND FUCK YOU!!!!" no matter how far from home ya are at the time and that give not one thought as to the last time it was waxed or maintenenced. (Which was, no doubt, right before it left the house... asshole cars.)

Then, there are men, cats, DOGS, dirt, horses that are to be GAZED- not sat- upon... (eyes rollin' right outta my head here) the list is endless.

In case, MTBLacklist, you aren't getting the point:

I DO NOT NEED YER SHIT.

You won't let Mad Mikey, a guy I know, trust and like lots, say the word 'draped', but it's okay for some anonymous fuckwit to spam me with Disney?

You're stupid and right now... I hate you.

Here's the deal.

I hired you. (Let you move in here... WHATEVER!) You fuck with ONE MORE person I like or let one more brainless piece of worm shit spam me with ANYTHING, including that gag-fest bunch of corporate jackoffs also known as "Disney", and you are OUTTA HERE!!!!!

Got it? Asshole?

Do yer fuckin' JOB- which by MY definition is keeping dick-stiffeners of all descriptions and prescriptions out of my life.

Not flag draped coffins. (Not that I want many o'those, but fuck. I'd honestly rather have to deal with a dead guy than one STICKING HIS WOODY IN MY FUCKIN' FACE!!!!! In fact, guys of the second description can quickly become men of the first description by doing that.... just a thought.)

Sooo... ya got it?

Leave Mad Mikey the fuck alone.
Stop letting Tinkerbell-wanna-be's spam me.

Or die.

Your choice.

This is your last chance and I will be WATCHING YOU...

Sincerely pissed,
me

Posted by: Stevie at 04:28 AM | Comments (19) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

June 12, 2004

Excuse me.. excuse me, ladies and gentlemen...

May we please have a moment of silence?

We have just been informed of yet another untimely death...

"I can assure you Ferris Paul is a very, very sick boy..."

Posted by: Stevie at 06:10 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

This is what I see....

... in my mind everytime I play "Willie the Wimp" and "Pipeline", which I've just done about 5 times in a row.

These two songs just make me feel so damned GOOD!!

I just wanna stand in front of a huge fan and play air-guitar.
(Like I used to do in the milking parlor at Wellacrest...)

And, this...

... is how much I love you, Stevie Ray and how much 'good' ya make me feel.

Thank you, Andy...
for Stevie Ray.
And, thank you, Stevie Ray...
for Andy.

You both live on in me....

Posted by: Stevie at 03:50 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Sorry Bret, but...

This is my new desktop background.
For now, anyway...

"We don't rent pigs!"
Cats either.
(That's really what that Latin at the bottom says.)

Posted by: Stevie at 02:48 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Here come the cramps, doo-doo-doo-doo...

Here come the cramps
And, I say
It's not right....

Sorry, Mr. Harrison, but, it just popped into my head.

Left one, this time. So far, there's only a colt-sized horse treadin' on it, but I expect he'll grow into a full sized Clydesdale soon enough.

This shit is getting so weird. Remember I said a few days ago that it had made it's prescence known in a small way? Well, it waved at me, then went completely away til just now, with the cramps barely getting started.

What is that about?

I have the politest, most 'helpful' monthly terrorist on the planet, apparently. It sends out 'warnings' in advance, just like a dentists office does with those 'appointment reminders'. Wow.

So, let's see if I can guess what the schedule is this time.

Check in: No later than tomorrow morning.
Check out: No later than Wednesday morning.

I was pissy yesterday morning, then yesterday afternoon on the way to cash Eric's check, I got to looking at all these cute little brick houses and feeling all weepy because I doubt Eric and I will ever have that kinda life and I bought a lottery ticket.

I don't play the lottery.

And, this morning, here I am, in a pretty good mood, in spite of the fact that we didn't win and I got bit on the finger by a kitten. And, in spite of the crampiness. I don't 'git it' and I hate hormones, by the way. (And ovaries and uterusi... uteruses? whatever... you can have the whole kit and kaboodle. Free, even.)

That's another thing. I have about 15 cats. A friend wants a kitten. So, what do I do?

Go out in the barn and catch him one that isn't mine, that's what.
And, get bit.

My big excuse for doing that this time is that he wants a cat who looks like Sylvester and the best I could do with any of mine is one that looks like a Holstein. So, I caught him a Sylvester, who is currently hiding in my bedroom, plotting my death, no doubt. (Cue up the "JAWS" theme...)

This guy is one of my really good friends, but I just can't do it. Well, I mean, I could, if I reeeally had to, but if you were gonna do something that would make you cry for days and you had another way to get the same thing accomplished, wouldn't you take the alternate route?
Me too.
Finger puncture and all.

In the meantime, I now know what the hay deal was about. He just wanted me to smell it and see how nice it was because that's what Jon (the Liar Guy) brought for Storm. (He works on a farm himself and is constantly dropping off bales of hay one and two at a time. (Ask me...I dunno.)

Anyway, it was the phone call that was the important part, but, just like last time, I'm not gonna say anything yet. (Which is a huge clue, right there...) I don't wanna jinx shit by making any premature, 'grand announcements'.

I will, however, say that keeping Dan in mind is helping me stay calm and not get freaked out. This is the third time we've done this. The first time didn't work out and Dan made me feel all kindsa better about it. The second time, it did work out and I hope more than you could believe that it does this time, too.

If I'm not mistaken (and I may well be) I think my 'lil friend' had showed up right before the last time we did this, too. I know I had 'intestinal distress' the first time. And, for good reason, as it turned out.

Aaaanyway....

It's too nice out to be sittin' here and I probably oughta do something with the mess that is the carport.

I shall return.

Peace.

Posted by: Stevie at 02:03 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Why?

I am sitting here, at the computer desk, in my nightie still, having had only one cuppa coffee so far and for some reason I cannot even begin to fathom, Eric just handed me a wad of really good smellin' hay, then, without getting to say one word about 'why', ran outside to answer his cell phone.

I just typed this with one hand, whilst holding the hay in the other.

God, men are weird.

Posted by: Stevie at 11:46 AM | Comments (21) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Cheddar X coolness...

This one is last times. There is a newer one about work, but I liked this one better... for now. (The one before this one is political, so I got kinda glaze-eyed and wandered away...)

1. What do you have planned for the future?
Survival.

2. Who is the single most important person in your life and why?
Eric. Why? Because of every single rhyme or reason the heart can conceive of.

3. Describe yourself in five words.
I am seriously nuckin' futz.

4. You can spend one night alone with any one person you wish--who is it?
Eric. 'Night' implies nudity, to an extent. If the word had been 'day' or 'time', the list would have included Paul and Bret Hart, to name but two. (Two Mikes and a Rob come to mind, too.)

5. Name your five favorite movies.
Only 5? Shit... The Birdcage, Weekend at Bernie's, Full Metal Jacket, The Stand and The Goodbye Girl.

6. Name your five favorite musical artists.
Stevie Ray Vaughan, The Bee Gee's, Waylon Jennings, Roger Miller and Pink Floyd.

Extras... cool.

7. Name your five favorite movies when you were in high school.
Rocky, The Posideon Adventure, The Sting, Star Wars and The Arisocats. Now, I know not all of these came out when I was in high school, but they ARE all movies I saw with Dad, so they're my favorites. (All at the now defunct Woodstown Grand, too, if I'm not mistaken...)

8. Five favorite musicians when you were in high school.
Skynyrd, Zepplin, Paul Mc Cartney and Wings, Van Halen and Heart.

Go here to see all of 'em.

Posted by: Stevie at 02:37 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Processing 0.01, elapsed 0.1008 seconds.
37 queries taking 0.0961 seconds, 49 records returned.
Page size 49 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.