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Delftsman

April 14, 2008

SAD, BUT TRUE

H/T to GuyK

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:28 PM | Comments (281) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Quote of the Day

This quote is as true today as the day it was uttered:

�[April 15] is the last day for filing income tax returns�a day that reminds us that taxpayers pay too much of their earnings to the Federal Government. And Americans will continue to pay too much money to the Federal Government until the Congress acts on our proposals to reduce tax rates across the board... While April 15 serves as a reminder, the people of the United States truly do not need to be reminded. They are victims of inflation, which pushes them into higher tax brackets. They are robbed daily of a better standard of living. They are discouraged from work and investment... Taxes are much too high to deal in half measures... The choice before us is clear. I strongly feel that the great majority of Americans believe that nothing would better encourage economic growth than leaving more money in the hands of the people who earn it. It�s time to stop stripping bare the productive citizens of America and funneling their hard-earned income into the Federal bureaucracy. Today is a day when the people reaffirm their commitment to our system by contributing a portion of their income to the Government. Americans have always been prepared to pay their fair share, but today they should make it clear to all elected officials that government has gone beyond its bounds and that the people will not tolerate the ever-increasing tax burden they have experienced in recent years.� �Ronald Reagan

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:22 PM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 13, 2008

They Also Serve...

I found this at OLD SOLDIER, and like he said, it is very appropiate right now.

To all those families out there who have loved ones deployed,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.

We don't thank the troops nearly often enough, much less thank those that wait for them to return home. We all need to try to be more grateful for all they sacrifice for the greater good.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:28 AM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Garfield on the oil crisis

A lot of folks can't understand how we came To have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical .
~~~

Our OIL is located in
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
And Texas
~~~

Our DIPSTICKS
are located in
Washington , DC !!!

Any questions ???
NO?

I didn't think so.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:22 AM | Comments (39) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

THERE'S HOPE FOR US ALL!

My favorite ex-B-i-L sent me this little tid-bit and I thought I'd share it with ya'll; it's good to know that, just maybe, there's hope for some randy fun in our "Golden Years" after all. Just plan it well enough that the nursing home staff doesn't catch on!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:16 AM | Comments (28) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Sunday Humor

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.'

Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.' St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?'

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers'

Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.' The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.

How about the next one?' asked St. Peter. 'How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'

Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '

'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name'? 'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.'

'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.

'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song, 'ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run Forrest, run.'

Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And to pass it on to other folks.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:04 AM | Comments (79) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 11, 2008

LARRY IS IN ROOM 233

Larry gets home late one night and, Kitty, his wife says, "Where in the hell have you been?"

Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disgust.

"Why on earth would a retired person get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

Three, I like how money feels in my hand.

And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Larry is recovering in room 233 at the local hospital.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:58 PM | Comments (807) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 10, 2008

TAGGED !

Beth at Yeah, Right, Whatever tagged me with this challenge:

The Rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to the original post if possible so we can track it as travels across the blogosphere.
4. Tag at least five more blogs with links.
5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

Hmmm...

Learning,

Service,

Fatherhood,

Earning,

Disease,

Acceptance,

I think I'll tag Catfish, GuyK,Wild Thing,Crunchie, and Brendon

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:15 PM | Comments (7360) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 09, 2008

Quote of the Day

�Barack Obama is not an idiot. He is a brilliant orator who exudes charm and arouses near-worship from his host of giddy, hypnotized supporters. He is also a committed socialist and a talented salesman for his brand of Marxist snake oil. Beware of camels bearing gifts, and politicians promising utopia.� �Michael Reagan

In the 1930's there was another Socialist gifted with the power of great oratory, that swayed the emotions of his fellow citizens, promising Utopia, and leading them to follow him to the gates of HELL itself :

I'm not saying Obama is Hitler, Obama isn't nearly that intelligent or capable; that meme is the province of the Progressives; but I AM saying beware of the Golden Tongue Orator promising Utopia on Earth, lest you be fooled again.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:47 PM | Comments (90) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Nursery Rhymes We Didn't Have As Kids

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
********************
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.
********************
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
********************
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass'
********************
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
********************
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
********************
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
********************
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports
car.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:27 PM | Comments (48) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Border Security

The issue of border security is one of the most important issues facing us today, with an estimated 20 MILLION illegal aliens already here and thousands more crossing our border every day, it is imperative that we do everything that we possibly can to halt this influx as soon as possible if we are to continue existing as a sovereign nation. With this in mind, the President proposed building a fence on our Southern border to try to help accomplish this goal, and after over two years of factional wrangling, the Congress finally provided enough funding to start building it.

Now a group of fourteen Democrats, pressured by some activist groups as the Sierra Club and the Defenders of Wildlife, that seem to be more concerned over displacing a few animals than in protecting our borders from potential terrorists and the unchecked flow of illegal immigrants; are using those concerns in order to continue their political fight against the President in stopping the fence.

That this fight is led by the CHAIRMAN of the Congressional Homeland Security Committee, Bennie G. Thompson (D-MS), makes it all the more obvious that this is a partisan attack on the Administration, not just a new found streak of political environmentalist fervor.
Remember Mr. Thompson, you were elected to protect your human constituents from all enemies, foreign and domestic; not to ensure totally perfect habitat for some obscure flora and fauna. You should resign from your Chairmanship if you can not keep that as your primary mission goal.

The point at issue is whether or not environmental waivers issued by the DHS are constitutional or not. The DHS was granted the power to issue these waivers by Congress in order to expedite the construction of the fence.

As noted in a press conference made by DHS in announcing these waivers the DHS spokesman noted that:

A substantial portion of the project areas addressed by these waivers have already undergone environmental reviews. In those areas where environmental reviews have not yet occurred, the department will conduct a review before any major construction begins. The department remains deeply committed to environmental responsibility, and will continue to work closely with the Department of Interior and other federal and state resources management agencies to ensure impacts to the environment, wildlife, and cultural and historic artifacts are analyzed and minimized.

But that isn't good enough for the "perfect or nothing" environmentalists or their "put party before security" cronies in the Congress.

Here are the fourteen that put the fate of the Hog-snouted Mole and the Dengue Fever carrying Southern Desert Rat before YOUR security concerns:

Bennie G. Thompson (D-MS), Homeland Security Committee Chairman

John Conyers (D-MI), Judiciary Committee Chairman
John Dingell (D-MI), Energy & Commerce Committee Chairman
Bob Filner (D-CA), Veterans Affairs Chairman
George Miller (D-CA), Education and Labor Committee Chairman
James Oberstar (D-MN), Transportation & Infrastructure Committee Chairman
Silvestre Reyes (D-TX), Intelligence Committee Chairman
Louise Slaughter (D-NY), Rules Committee Chairwoman

Yvette D. Clarke (D-NY)
Susan Davis (D-CA)
Raul M. Grijalva (D-AZ)
Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX)
Zoe Lofgren (D-CA)
Solomon Ortiz (D-TX)

Remember these people in November, and let them know how you feel about their partisan maneuverings affecting our border security.

Here is our "security" as it is:

Here is our security as has been proposed:

YOU decide which is better at protecting you and your family, and act accordingly.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:55 PM | Comments (24) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 08, 2008

Quote of the Day

Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.
Ronald Reagan

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:28 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 07, 2008

Abortion

Finally, someone has finally made a sensible, common sense, non-religious argument against abortion. I'm not surprised it was Rachel Lucas, she has always been one of the most common sense people I've ever had the pleasure to read.

I have always been of the "abortion is murder" school, but have found that trying to impose MY views on others actions is just as repugnant to me, as it goes against my other, equally strongly held view, that we must be allowed to make most decisions for ourselves and not have them imposed by without.

Rachel has laid down the gauntlet, it behooves us all to take up the challenge and work with the opposition to achieve what we both say we want, fewer abortions. She lays out the answer to a difficult situation as clearly as it can be...

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:55 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Quote of the Day

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. -- Thomas Edison

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:32 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Tight Skirt, Bus Stop

An oldie, but a goodie:

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:39 PM | Comments (341) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Rewriting Some Classics...

It was fun being a baby boomer...until now. Some of the artists of the
60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accomodate baby boomers..They
include:

Herman's Hermits---Mrs Brown, you've got a lovely walker

Ringo Starr---I get by with a little help from Depends.

The Bee Gees---How can you mend a broken hip

Bobby Darin---Splish, Splash I was having a flash

Roberta Flack---The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash---I Can't see Clearly Now

Paul Simon---Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver

The Commodores-- -One, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom

Marvin Gaye---Heard It Through The Grape Nuts

Procol Harem---A Whiter Shade Of Hair

Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping

The Temptations- --Papa's Got A Kidney Stone

Abba---Denture Queen

Tony Orlando & Dawn---Knock Three Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me
Fall.

Helen Reddy--- I am Woman, Hear Me Snore

Leslie Gore---It's My Procedure, And I'll Cry If I Want To

Willie Nelson--On The Commode Again

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:25 PM | Comments (317) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 06, 2008

Quote of the Day

"I don't know..but I do know that I can't believe that any deity would be so cruel as to allow Satan to turn someone's kids into dim-a-crits just to prove a point...but I wouldn't put it past public education.." -- GUYK

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:48 PM | Comments (315) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

R.I.P.

Charlton Heston 19 October 4, 1923 � April 5, 2008

We have lost another of the greats. Actor,veteran (Ssgt-AAF), civil rights activist, 2nd Amendment defender. Mr. Heston spoke out for civil rights before it was cool;he staunchly held up the American ideal of self reliance and self sufficiency, and coined the phrase "from my cold dead hands" when facing the threat of the GFW's abrogating the 2nd Amendment.

His choice of epitath is from Shakespears Tempest when Prospero ends the play with:

Be cheerful, sir.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

His two most famous roles...

And just for fun... (maybe prophetic about his future fight with the GFW's as President of the NRA?)

I have a speech that Mr. Heston delivered at Harvard University Law School that personifies his politics, and, I believe, his greatness as a human being. It's a bit long so I put under the fold. Please, do yourself a favor, and read it. Read it, and try to see if you can follow the example he made.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:12 PM | Comments (324) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 05, 2008

Minorities

We need to show more sympathy for these people.

* They travel miles in the heat.
* They risk their lives crossing a border.
* They don't get paid enough wages.
* They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
* They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different
language.
* They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all day every
day.

******************************************************************

I'm not talking about illegal Mexicans; I'm talking about our troops!

Doesn't it seem strange that many Democrats and Republicans are willing
to lavish all kinds of social benefits on illegals, but don't support
our troops and are now threatening to defund them?

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:19 PM | Comments (27) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

They Eat Their Own

Via the Dissident Frogman, we get a view from the Eurabian Provence of Fwance on the state of the current election process....wish I had Photo-Shop skills...

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:10 PM | Comments (38) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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