Delftsman

June 15, 2010

HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!"

Then I would say,"It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the Obama approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth."

H/T Catfish

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Asian Drivers

We've all heard the jokes about how bad Asian drivers are..well this video from China would seem to confirm that as fact rather than just the stuff of comedic fiction....

And I thought riding a motorcycle in the U.S. was dangerous !!!

H/T to Rurik for sending me the video.

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4th Stanza of the Anthem

For those that believe that our Founders and the first two or three generation Americans were Secularists; they might go back to reading their history, if they can even find it anymore. When Francis Scott Key wrote the poem that would later become our National Anthem, there were FOUR verses, not the two that are sung today...

A Marine brings back that fourth verse in a marvelous voice:

Semper Fi, Marine ! job well and faithfully done!

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June 12, 2010

CBS Poll

In an unscientific poll conducted by CBS news, of all people showed that 63.76% of the respondents judged President Obama's overall job performance over the past year as a failure.

The interesting thing to note is that those viewing CBS and likely to vote in any such poll are hardly hide bound Conservative types. The Poll may have been conducted in an unscientific manner, nevertheless, the results shouldbe giving those in the current Administration great pause to reconsider if their policies are really where the American People are wanting to go.

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June 11, 2010

ass kicking

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'NUFF SAID!

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June 09, 2010

Quote of the Day

"I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'" --American humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935)

I think all of our Founding Fathers would be spinning in their graves faster than a jet turbine if they could see how we've mishandled their legacy.

s/ Come to think of it, hook up the power lines to their graves and our energy problems would disappear ! /s

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June 08, 2010

Now I know who Voted for Obama

This is from a San Francisco newspaper:

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Folks, just remember as you read this, this person probably drives & votes

AND, may have already reproduced.......

God help us all.......

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June 07, 2010

Quote of the Day

"The American dream is not that every man must be level with every other man. The American dream is that every man must be free to become whatever God intends he should become." --Ronald Reagan

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Cowboy Humor

A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home.

"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course."
So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.
So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"

The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington D.C. as a Congressman.

Explains a lot about Washington D.C. these days....

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" DOCTORS & UNEMPLOYED "

An Israeli doctor says,
"Medicine in my country is so advanced
that we can take a kidney out of one man,
put it in another, and have him looking for
work in six weeks."


A German doctor says,
"That is nothing; we can take a lung
out of one person, put it in another, and
have him looking for work in four weeks. "

A Russian doctor says.
"In my country, medicine is so advanced
that we can take half a heart out of one
person, put it in another, and have them
both looking for work in two weeks."


An ILLINOIS doctor, says.
"You guys are way behind..
We recently took a man with
no brains out of ILLINOIS ,
put him in the White House
and within SIX MONTHS,
half the COUNTRY is looking for work."


So sad when a joke is so close to the truth.....

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The Floatilla Choir

Here's a fun little video that imagines what it would be like if those Gaza Flotilla had a choir....

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June 06, 2010

D-Day + 66


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Commencing at 0630hrs. (UTC +2) on Tuesday, June 6, 1944, the "Greatest Generation" embarked on the mission that MADE them the "Greatest", the invasion of beaches at Normandy that led to the final defeat of Adolph Hitler and Nazi Germany.

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When those 160,000 men departed the shores of Britain in over 5000 ships to begin the assault, the outcome of the day was far from being assured...

General Eisenhower (unlike some present day leaders I would prefer not to mention, lest their mention sullies the gravity of this day) knew that success was not in any way assured and wrote the following missive in the event of failure; taking the blame even before there was any cause to assign it.
Would that we could have men of that caliber leading us today...

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"...If any blame is found attached to the attempt, it is MINE alone."

It was that attitude of taking responsibility that made the "Greatest Generation" so great. Every man knew what his duty entailed, and carried out that duty to the best of his ability. By the best estimates possible, 4414 men gave their all in doing that duty just in the first 12 hours of battle.

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This generation has huge shoes to fill to even come close to the sacrifices made just in that one day...I pray that we won't be found lacking.

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June 05, 2010

Israeli Blockade Action

I keep reading on Progressive Blog sites and hearing Progressive pundits on the TV blabbing on and on about how Israel acted like a "rogue Nation" when it boarded a Turkish flagged carrying relief supplies to Gaza...well fellow member of the AIR posted an excellent response to this blather over there today, and with his kind permission I am cross-posting it here. Subotai, by his own admission does get a bit wordy, but every word is golden if you really want to understand any subject he's pontificating on.

Hostis Humani Generis
Posted by: LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An
June 4, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Let us speak of international law. Specifically, the law concerning war at sea. There has been mention previously that statements about the requirements of international law as it applies to the attempt to break the Israeli blockade were merely opinions. OK, then let us look at the actual texts.

Is there a state of belligerency between the Palestinian authorities who govern Gaza and the State of Israel?

Yes. The Palestinian government of Gaza has repeatedly declared itself to be at war with Israel, conducted attacks on Israeli territory, civilians, and armed forces. It has refused to negotiate with the government of Israel. If you accept that the Palestinians govern Gaza, they are at war. If they do not govern Gaza, then the area and its inhabitants are pirates, bandits, etc. and are outside the laws of nations.

Given the state of war between the Palestinians of Gaza and the State of Israel, what care under the various Hague and Geneva Conventions is owed to the Palestinians by the Israelis?

It is extremely limited. Article 2 of the Hague Convention defines its scope:

Art. 2. The provisions contained in the Regulations mentioned in Article I are only binding on the Contracting Powers, in case of war between two or more of them.

The Palestinians in Gaza are not a Contracting Power, having never signed the Hague and Geneva Conventions, nor followed any of its strictures. If they were following those strictures, they could still legally attempt to claim the protections, however they are not. Those Palestinians engaged in combat against Israel are not covered by the protections of the Geneva and Hague Conventions because they fail to follow the basic requirements of being a recognized belligerent:

ANNEX TO THE CONVENTION

REGULATIONS RESPECTING THE LAWS AND CUSTOMS OF WAR ON LAND

SECTION I
ON BELLIGERENTS

CHAPTER I
On the qualifications of belligerents

Article 1. The laws, rights, and duties of war apply not only to armies, but also to militia and volunteer
corps fulfilling the following conditions:
1. To be commanded by a person responsible for his subordinates;
2. To have a fixed distinctive emblem recognizable at a distance;
3. To carry arms openly; and
4. To conduct their operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war.
In countries where militia or volunteer corps constitute the army, or form part of it, they are included under the denomination army.

Art. 2. The population of a territory which has not been occupied who, on the enemys approach, spontaneously take up arms to resist the invading troops without having time to organize themselves in accordance with Article 1, shall be regarded as belligerent, if they respect the laws and customs of war. [my emphasis]

Israel, as a signatory to the Geneva Conventions, is covered by Common Articles 2 & 3 of the 4th Geneva Convention, which extends protections to civilians in international conflicts and to a lesser extent to civilians in armed conflicts within a single nations borders. However, Article 4 of the 4th Geneva Convention in the course of defining who the class of Protected Parties actually consists of specifically EXCLUDES Nationals of a State which is not bound by the Convention.

If Palestinian Gaza is a state, which is at war with Israel; as a non-signer of the Hague and Geneva Conventions, neither those in arms against Israel, nor their civilian counterparts are covered by them. If Palestinian Gaza is NOT a state, and is not under the jurisdiction of a state [and no one I know of claims them] they are at best unlawful combatants and more like hostis humani generis.

That status accrues also to foreign nationals who act on their behalf as part of their war effort.

Now moving to the rules of warfare at sea. Naval warfare is governed under international law by The San Remo Manual on International Law Applicable to Armed Conflicts at Sea, 12 June 1994. This is the same manual carried on all US warships and is the basic text on the subject. A copy posted by the International Committee of the Red Cross can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/2v6jxty

Israel, years ago, declared a blockade of the coast of Gaza, openly and meeting the terms of the San Remo Manual which requires:

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June 04, 2010

1938 Austria -

History CAN repeat itself....

The author of the article under the fold lives in South Dakota and appears to be very active in attempting to maintain our freedom. I encourage everybody to read this article and pass it along. I see so many parallels happening in this country at the present time, are we going to sit by and watch it happen?

It is a bit long, but worth the five minutes it will take you to read it,
Please, pass the message on; a lot of current voters may not be aware enough of history to know this.

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June 03, 2010

Quote Snark of the Day

Even after the recent Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying with bad jokes that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats is a damn genius. -- Larry the Cable Guy

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June 01, 2010

Age can be Hilarious

Here's some old ones but good ones to help brighten your day.


Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini-van with two flat tires..

________________________________

An elderly gentleman....

Had serious hearing problems for a number of years.. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect... Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.

I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

________________________________


Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

________________________________


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

_________________________________

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

________________________________


Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ...
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

________________________________

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'

'Because she can still drive!'

________________________________

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

________________________________

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

________________________________


One more. . .!


A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'arthritis.'

__________________________________________________

Remember, A smile a day keeps depression away; live every day as if it were your last, it just MAY be !

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May 31, 2010

Obama stopping the Gulf Oil Spill

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No, I don't think there is much the pResident can really do much to solve the problem; but he set himself up as omnipotent when he said at his inauguration:

"Today is the day we start turning back the rise in global warming and stopping the rise of sea levels."

You set yourself up as superhuman; you shouldn't be surprised when your supporters turn on you when they find you aren't.

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May 29, 2010

"Ending Don't Ask, Don't Tell"?

With all the controversy over the "don't ask, don't tell" policy of the U.S. military, there have been good arguments on both sides. I know that Gays and Lesbians have served from time immemorial, and served with distinction, I served with individuals that I knew to be gay and I never had a problem with that as long as they did their jobs in the manner expected; having said that, I still believe that the DADT policy is a good one.

While it must be difficult for someone to hide his sexuality; the fact is that the DADT controls behavior that is un-conducive to military discipline that otherwise would manifest itself. I have a brother that spent 8 years serving in the U.S.A.F., until he was outed by a jealous lover, up till that point his behavior had been exemplary, but after he was outed, he took every opportunity to flaunt his sexuality; conduct that he has continues to exhibit to this day 20 years later.

Do I care that he's gay? No, I don't care what he does in the privacy of his own bedroom, but what DOES bother me is that he seems to want to shout out his sexual preferences for the world to admire. I wouldn't mind him holding his partners hand in public, but I DO mind that he seems to want to draw attention to it as "something special" to be admired by all and sundry, no matter their own preferences.

Gays say that the policy is discriminatory and forces them to "live a lie", and in actuality, that IS true, but the Military is a special kind of calling and it is NOT geared to serve the wishes and desires of the individual soldier, but what is best for the good of the Services as a whole in accomplishing it's goal of protecting the U.S. Openly gay individuals are not conducive to that goal.
Being "in the closet" allows the Gay person to serve with honor without causing dissension in the ranks and opening a door to legal discrimination issues that I don't think we want to enter into as a society.

The following is one of the best arguments against doing away with the DADT policy and I agree with the author 100%.

In the words of my friend GuyK: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".

Homosexuals are by definition individuals who are sexually attracted to persons of the same sex. A male homosexual desires other males. Lesbians desire other females. This is obvious, yet it is ignored in media or political discussions of certain homosexual agenda issues. Homosexuals have been trying for years to force the Boy Scouts of America to accept homosexual scoutmasters. These men would take young boys camping. I've heard people defend this by claiming that homosexuals are no more likely than heterosexuals to molest children. I don't believe that's true, but even if it is, it's irrelevant. It would be relevant only if adult straight males were demanding the right to take little girls camping. Can you imagine the outrage if heterosexual men were making such a demand?
Congress is now moving to admit open homosexuals to the military. We're told that homosexuals are no more likely to engage in sexual misconduct or harassment than heterosexuals. That's debatable, but so what? Heterosexual men in the military don't bunk down and shower with the women. But homosexual men will indeed bunk down and shower with the other males if Obama gets his way. Ditto for lesbians and the other females. There would be universal outrage if heterosexual male soldiers demanded to shower with naked female soldiers, but naked male soldiers are expected to shower with homosexuals who might desire them. Female soldiers are expected to shower with lesbians.
What we're being told, indirectly, is that homosexuality is a more enlightened form of sexuality. We can't allow young men to take girls camping because that would lead to pedophilia, but it's no problem to let homosexual men take boys camping. We can't let heterosexual males shower or bed down with females in the military. That would lead to sexual harassment, and the ladies would feel uncomfortable that a bunch of lustful guys are seeing them nude. But no one of either sex should have any problem with being in such a situation with a homosexual. Heterosexuals can be barred from situations where sexually improper behavior might result, but homosexuals cannot. Indeed, they have a right not to be barred.

Tim W.

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May 27, 2010

The Price

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May 23, 2010

It's NOT what you think

MINORITIES
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We need to show more sympathy for these people.
* They travel miles in the heat.
* They risk their lives crossing a border.
* They don't get paid enough wages.
* They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
* They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different language.
* They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all day ~ every day..

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:18 PM | Comments (615) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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