August 02, 2005

Underwater Warfare

Murdoc provides a pointer to an interesting article about littoral combat (shallow water or close inshore) and the ability of the US submarine fleet to do so. The author makes some good points about the current situation happening between China and Taiwan.

Without giving away too much, "battlespace dominance" against an identified threat such as China invading Taiwan begins long before any shooting ever starts, by the key task for SSNs of "waterspace preparation." This involves missions of the types listed above, into extremely shallow waters for prolonged periods, to study in great detail hydrography, map seabed wrecks, measure local acoustic propagation characteristics (which includes background noise from sources such as oil drilling/pumping platforms, coastal industrial activity, even heavy freight train movements!), also to quantify water transparency, find spots likely to make good enemy minefield locations before mines are ever laid, and using all these different parameters note possible ideal lurking places for enemy diesel subs before those subs have a chance to deploy. Signals intercept antennas are raised for long periods while at periscope depth to monitor and map enemy coastal defense sites, learn the location and organizational structure of various hostile units and headquarters, quantify characteristics of radars so that they can be most effectively spoofed and jammed in time of war, and so on.

All prudent and sensible actions to take when preparing for conflict, but not things that the average person would consider. Which is exactly why we have a military, so that professionals can think about things like this and make sure that they get done before the shit hits the fan.

It's a good read. Recommended.

PS. I knew there was some talk of unmanned underwater vehicles, but I had no idea that things were as advanced as is briefly mentioned in the article. Wow.

Posted by: Ted at 11:52 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Cool Threads

Thanks to SilverBlue for this link to the Rubber Ducky Condom Company (mildly not safe for work). When Mookie saw the t-shirts they sell, she mentioned how great they would be for gift-giving. I chose to ignore the hint, but the shirts are great!

As much fun as "No Ducky, No Lucky" is, my taste runs more towards the surreal. That's why this site just tickles me no end (major kudos to the Ministry of Minor Perfidy for pointing this one out!). Featuring religious arcana such as "The Flying Spaghetti Monster" (may his noodly appendage touch your heart), and my personal favorite:

Someone is attuned to my sense of humor to a frightening degree.

Posted by: Ted at 05:51 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

I'm stealing the whole thing

Velociman:

TOYING WITH MY TICKER

I saw in a flyer today where Walgreen's is selling a personal defibrillator for
$1,495. Please. My coinhabitants of this hovel can't even put their dirty socks in the hamper. And I'm going to let them put the paddles to my heart? I don't fucking think so.

I am a fan of 911. Call it. Let the professionals revive me. You? Stay the fuck away from me, with those paddles.

Velociworld is full of brilliance like this.

Posted by: Ted at 05:06 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 01, 2005

Probably still a few years yet until there are members in the "50 Mile High Club"

According to Rocket Forge, Virgin Galactic has booked it's first Honeymoon couple.

George Whitesides (NSS Executive Director) and Loretta Hidalgo (past President of the Space Generation Foundation and currently at NASA HQ) are the first honeymoon couple to fly on Virgin Galactic.

Congrats you crazy kids!!!

Posted by: Ted at 04:51 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Parallels

The debate over hockey rule changes is beginning to sound like the one going on over global warming.

The water level is the lowest it's been in seventy years! They want to reduce the size of goalie equipment by 15%!

Yep, just like it was when your grandfather was your age.

The size and shape of the lines on the ice, the goalie restriction rules, over-expansion, and so on and on and on.

All sports change over time. Baseball raises and lowers the pitcher's mound every decade or two, trying to restore balance between offense and defense. The sun didn't supernova over the designated hitter rule, and God didn't smite the unbelievers over wild-card playoff teams (although I've heard it was a near thing. Luckily, they've got a team called the "Angels". Jersey Devils? The NHL might be in for a righteous smiting.)

At one time, goalies weren't allowed to leave their feet. That's right, flop on the ice and it was a penalty and an automatic goal against. So for those who're bitching about rules changes, let's go back all the way and play the original game. Anything that changes the purity of the game is sacrilege, right?

Finally, the talk about over-expansion. The NHL has thousands of new fans in places that had never heard of hockey before expansion, and right now hockey needs every friend it can get. Shutting down franchises just because they're not in traditional hockey areas strikes me as spectacularly stupid. Last year (or was it the year before?) Ottawa was bankrupt and missed payroll a few times. Yet nobody wanted to shut them down. Welcome to NHL Business Math 101. Running a club like a business, with decisions based on financial reality, is optional if you're a Canadian team or in one of the traditional hockey cities (like Calgary and Edmonton, who've both been teetering on the edge of solvency for years now). I'm not saying to shut them down, I'm saying let's quit playing geographical favorites based on arbitrary rules. Shut down the San Jose Sharks! Why? Well, they're Californian. Never mind that they've been a solid hockey club that's gone deep into the playoffs several years in a row. Forget that they routinely sell out their arena for home games. Ignore that they've turned a profit and are near the top of all sports teams in terms of merchandising sold. They're from California, dammit! We don't want them in the NHL!

Hockey has some serious problems. The fan base was shrinking, costs were out of control, the game was boring to the casual fan and difficult for the uninitiated to understand. To Joe Football, a hockey game could be distilled down to about one minute of highlights: goals, great saves, fights. Everything else is filler.

So now they've gotten a handle on the cost issue. Yeah, the players paid, but don't forget that the owners also lost a season's worth of revenue, not to mention the myriad people who depend on the NHL for their living. Now to make the game more fan-friendly. How is it bad for hockey if more people come see the games?

For the purists in the eco-movement, the only sure way to save the Spotted Owl is to completely ban logging forever. Those who refuse to see that hockey has no choice but to adapt might as well move to New York, Boston, Chicago, Detroit, Toronto, or Montreal. If hockey falls back into oblivion - and it's on the precipice, wildly waving its arms as it tries not to go over the edge - those cities may be the only place you can see hockey. And it won't be on television, you'll be lucky if your local paper carries the box scores. Kids who play youth hockey now will be doing Junior NASCAR or Cadet Poker Leagues (stressing the statistical and mathematical basis of the game and downplaying the gambling part - hey look, it's math!).

Hockey has to do *something*, and they finally are. Now we get to see if it's too little too late.

Posted by: Ted at 11:53 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Deja Vu all over again

The Vice President of Sudan has died in "an airplane crash".

The scare quotes are mine. There is no evidence at this time that points to anything except a tragic accident.

This doesn't encourage me:

Garang, who earned a doctorate from Iowa State University, is seen as the sole figure with the weight to give southern Sudanese a role in the Khartoum government, which they deeply mistrust.

You know, the Islamic government that routinely bombs it's own non-Muslim people in refugee camps. The government that refuses to acknowlege the thriving slave trade going on where Islamic northerners kidnap Christians and Animists living in the south. Yeah, that government. And now the main player in the mix for the infidel south has died in an aircraft accident.

He also was a strong voice against outright secession by the south, calling instead for autonomy and power-sharing.

Sudanese have celebrated the power-sharing agreement — and a new constitution signed afterward — as opening a new chapter of peace and as a chance to resolve other bloody conflicts in Sudan, including the humanitarian crisis in the western region of Darfur. Garang was also seen as a great hope for peace in Darfur.

Some hated him because they saw no need for power-sharing, they already had the power. Others wanted secession and civil war, despite being hopelessly outmatched and the near-certainty that the government would have gleefully accelerated their systematic destruction of their southern population. You know, the one's not under Sharia law.

The article tries hard to be upbeat about the continuing prospects for peace, indicating that no Rwandan-style buildup to violence has been noted. Of course, no buildup was noticed in Rwanda either before almost one million people were massacred in three months. Everyone is saying the right words, but some things aren't adding up quite yet. It could be the confusion of the moment, and the situation may clear up as details emerge.

But we've seen similar circumstances before.

I hope I'm wrong. I won't be surprised if I'm not.

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Maybe the ninjas aren't such a good idea after all

Katana vs Machine Gun.

Is there really any doubt? But take a look anyways, because the super slow motion sequences of what happens are incredible. Too bad that in practical terms it means two smaller holes instead of one big one.

Thanks to the Flea for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:04 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Depends on which Care Bear you're talking about, doesn't it?

After questioning the results of a "type of humor quiz", Dawn wounds me thusly:

No offense doll, and I hate to detract from your image, but you're about as menacing as a Care Bear.

Well, sweetie, since this is Rocket Jones...

(in the extended entry, safe for work in all but the most conservative office environments)

Posted by: Ted at 04:17 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 31, 2005

Heartless cad that I am

I disappointed you when I couldn't provide a link to video of the nitrous-injected chainsaw.

Would a V8 powered chainsaw do?

Posted by: Ted at 12:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Idiot's Guide to the NHL Lockout

I love it! Courtesy of ESPN, here's an excerpt:

One more thing: They moved the nets closer to the boards and changed it so goalies can only play the puck within a 28-foot, trapezoidal area behind the net that extends 6 feet from either goal post. If you skate beyond that area, it's an automatic two-minute penalty, which will be fun if only to hear what they call the penalty. Two minutes for trapezoidal desertion?

(Confused? So am I. They should have gone with Plan B -- tying the goalie to the net with a 10-foot chain, almost like how you would tie up your pet rottweiler outside. Wouldn't that be fun to see goalies occasionally forgetting about the chain, skating towards an errant puck, then cruelly getting yanked backward when the chain extends too far? Plus, they could potentially get caught up in the chain, or use it to trip other players … really, I see no downside here. Although it will be loads of fun to hear Barry Melrose pronounce the word "Trapezoid.")

The entire article is hilarious and still manages to peg the issues. Kudos to The Hockey Pundits for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 08:50 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

An Award I'd be proud to display on my mantle

Recently, the Pittsburgh Film Workers Fest was held to celebrate independent horror films.

These are the statuettes awarded (click image for bigger size):

Specially created for the Fest, these are just too cool. The heck with Oscar, I want a Creatch!

Posted by: Ted at 06:54 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

More Podcasting News

Mozongo now has a weekly podcast about the latest and greatest in mobile technology. Check out this week's cast, where they talk about the Motorola Q and the HTC-Wizard smartphones.

Posted by: Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 30, 2005

"May You Live In Interesting Times"

Alan Zoe Brain has always been one of the more interesting bloggers out there, both at A.E.Brain and at The Command Post. The last several months have been downright surreal.

Zoe is also one helluva human being, having sent an encouraging email to me when I was fretting about my wife's surgery. He's had some medical issues of his own to deal with, er... She's had some medical issues of her own to deal with.

Regular readers know that I'm not one to rattle the tip cup, but in this case, Zoe's medical bills are going to be far in excess of what insurance might cover. Head on over, read about a drastic, involuntary and unexpected change in lifestyle (there are many posts over a period of time), and if you feel so inclined, drop some bucks in his jar. Thanks.

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 29, 2005

Needs fulfilled

Matt posts zombie pictures so I don't have to.

Awesome site redesign too.

Posted by: Ted at 07:12 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

The Healing Begins

The San Jose Sharks took out this full page ad in the San Jose Mercury newspaper (click to embiggen):

Thanks to Sharks Page for pointing this out.

Posted by: Ted at 07:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Anita Bryant wouldn't like this one bit

Sitting here in front of me are two naked oranges.

Not naked as in bereft of rind, but still naked in a way nature never intended oranges to be. There's a story here. It's short, but makes up for that by being entirely pointless and probably boring.

My wife, Liz, works for a rather large medical practice. A dozen doctors, plus nurses of various kinds, administrative staff and auxiliary support adds up to some seventy or so.

On Friday's they'll often do a "theme" sort of thing, good for morale I guess, where everyone dresses in Hawaiian shirts or some such. Often, food is involved. Today's event was bizarre, it was "bring your favorite dessert" day. I suspect that the practice may be secretly planning to expand services into the nutrition field, or perhaps even dentistry, and this is a ploy to jump start the customer base.

So Liz mentions the upcoming "bring your favorite dessert" day, which automatically translated in my mind to "untested recipe on unsuspecting guinea pigs" day.

At home, if I make something new and I'm the only one in the family that likes it (and why would I cook something I wouldn't like?), then I'll eat it Thanksgiving turkey-style, until I can't stand the sight of it and then throw whatever's left away. Then I'm sick of it and don't want it for a long while... until I get a hankerin' and the whole cycle repeats anew.

But I love these office parties. They give me a chance to whip up something new and experimental without worrying about who's going to like it. If the wife and kids enjoy it, it goes into my recipe binder. If not, oh well.

So I made orange cookies. I don't remember where I got the recipe, but it was a long time ago. I know John posted something similar once, and I've seen variations here and there. I'll post my version sometime in the next few days.

They're pretty good, and (score!) Liz and Robyn like them.

But they call for lots of grated orange zest, so for lunch today, I've got these two naked oranges in front of me.

Posted by: Ted at 11:51 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Carnival of Recipes is up

Over at Munuviana's own Feisty Repartee, Christina is hosting this week's Carnival. Yum.

Posted by: Ted at 11:25 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 28, 2005

Short notice but wicked cool

Got a last-minute email from a rocketry bud letting me know that at 9pm last night on the SciFi channel, the show MasterBlasters would be focusing on rocketry.

I'd never seen the show before, but what it seems to be is a set team of generalists (engineers, fabricators, etc), known as the MasterBlasters, go up against a team of "experts" to accomplish a given task for the episode. For last nights' experts, the rocketry guys were led by Erik Gates, who is a legend in high-power rocketry. The rest of his team included his brother Dirk, plus some of their friends who've helped on other big Gates Brother's projects (great photos of their work are available here). You may have seen the Gates Brothers on the show MythBusters, when they assisted in the episode where they strapped rockets to the top of a car.

Back to MasterBlasters. Inspired by the movie Wizard of Oz, each team was given a kid's playhouse made of wood. These weren't flimsy little structures, they were basically mini-houses with an attached porch and full roof, maybe six or eight feet to a side and about that tall as well. The challenge was to launch the house with four rocket motors to the greatest possible altitude, the house had to spin at least three times on the way up (tornado!), at the top the wicked witch on her broom had to be released to fall seperately, and the house - with Dorothy (and her little doggie too!) on the front porch - had to be returned to ground safely.

Quite a task.

I won't give spoilers, because it's quite fun to watch the final results. I found it interesting that, as is usually the case in these kinds of shows, the two teams came up with radically different solutions to the problem. The rocketeers basically used the house itself as the nosecone of their rocket, whereas the Masterblasters built a mast containing their rocket motors to drag the structure behind. It worked very much like the escape tower functioned on the US manned capsules (and I talked about the escape towers here and here with my posts about the Little Joe series of rockets).

Fun episode. If you get a chance, see it. I'll be checking back to see what other kind of fun the MasterBlasters get into in future shows.

Posted by: Ted at 11:34 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

I'm flattered, but really?

I found a link to an interesting "type of humor" test over at Boudicca's, and gave it a whirl. I like the results, but I wonder, do you think it's accurate in my case? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

(results in the extended entry)

Posted by: Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 er, no. Doesn't sound like you at all but then maybe I'm asleep at the laptop. :-)

Posted by: Cindy at July 28, 2005 09:29 AM (PvCQB)

2 That test is crap! I scored like...WAY LOW on dark. That test is crap.

Posted by: Derek at July 28, 2005 12:48 PM (wEVXE)

3 Sounds pretty close to me. And I'd definately say you have a dry delivery as opposed to over the top. Sample: "I want to know what this 'empty nest syndrome' is all about." heh.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at July 28, 2005 09:36 PM (0ovgk)

4 "somehow there's something slightly menacing about you"

No offense doll, and I hate to detract from your image, but you're about as menacing as a Care Bear.

Nor do I think your delivery is dry or OTT. You are damn funny and we're all laughing WITH you. And sometimes AT, but usually WITH.

Posted by: dawn at July 28, 2005 11:47 PM (Dh1V0)

5 Me: The Prankster

Your humor has an intellectual, even conceptual slant to it. You're not pretentious, but neither are you into what some would call 'low humor'. You'd laugh at a good dirty joke, but you definitely prefer something clever to something moist.

You probably like well-thought-out pranks and/or spoofs and it's highly likely you've tried one of these things yourself. In a lot of ways, yours is the most entertaining type of humor.

Hmm... That's pretty good.

No offense doll, and I hate to detract from your image, but you're about as menacing as a Care Bear.

Now that's funny!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at July 31, 2005 06:38 AM (4N+SC)

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I promised myself that I'd harden my heart

But I'm such a little bitch.

The NHL will return to the ice with the busiest night in the league's 88-year history.

Not wanting fans to have to wait one extra day to see their teams, the NHL has scheduled 15 games -- including all 30 clubs -- on opening night Oct. 5. Before the lockout that wiped out all of last season, the record for games in a day was 14, done nine times but not since 2003.

The schedule, released Wednesday, features more divisional games as teams will play their biggest rivals eight times instead of six.

Yeah, I'm freakin' excited again.

Off Wing Opinion has a link to the complete schedule, along with this:

NHL Roundup recaps every NHL game from the previous night, and runs Monday to Friday. Rink notes is a digest of features from around the league that usually runs at lunch time.

While you're surfin' the ice, check out The Hockey Pundits too.

Posted by: Ted at 05:36 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 yay! I'm such a hockey whore, I can't stay mad at the NHL...

Posted by: Derek at July 28, 2005 12:49 PM (wEVXE)

2 This post made me look really cool today. The guys are work were talking about hockey and I mentioned your little tidbit about all the clubs playing. OOOO - look at me! A chic who know hockey! Ya. Right.

Posted by: Amy at July 29, 2005 10:10 PM (tPzR0)

3 There's a lesson there: Read Rocket Jones and be Cool.

Posted by: Ted at July 29, 2005 10:46 PM (+OVgL)

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