November 21, 2003
Seriously
Here's another post where I talk about life and stuff. It's written as much for me as anything, but you're welcome to read it. Leave comments if so moved to do so, or not - whatever works for you - including not reading it at all.
Posted by: Ted at 10:04 AM | Comments (49) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Housekeeping
Most of these were previously mentioned, but never added to my blogroll for one very good reason: Mookie distracted me with her teenage attitude and crap.* I hope to remedy all of it this weekend.
Carol’s Chaotic Collection of Curiosities – Tino Martinez news, some good recipe links, and a roundup of spam news for which I was included for this. Why didn’t I see this coming? Reflections in d minor – I don’t visit as often as I should, because I’m never disappointed by Lynn’s gentle good humor. She also makes me want to learn more about classical music. This blogger named Taco lives in Norway and he’s into politics and history. He has some interesting things to say. Delusional Duck is a very news-oriented open blog. Everyone is invited to post, or as they put it “No rules, just write.” Somewhat local to me. Left & Right. Salt & Pepper. Lea & Perrin. Rum & Coke. Some things are just naturally right (and left). He’s another local blogger too. These guys kind of fell off of my radar. I’m an idiot. Vote for me! (seemed like a natural followup) Sheri can’t come to the door right now. Anyone know what’s going on? Glenn of Hi, I’m Black! has a t&a blog called, appropriately enough, Not Work Safe. He doesn’t update often, but I see someone from there visits me every day. So I return the favor. I know, it’s a terrible imposition, having to visit a site with pretty and near-naked ladies. That tells you what a nice guy I am. Fleshbot is fairly new and rather adult oriented. It’s not really a blog, but more like an e-zine. But hey, gotta love a site that points out a link to ‘Women of Wal-Mart’. I stumbled across this blog while googling for images. Nice site and nice guy. I'm sure there's more. I'll get to it when I get a chance. *That was for her creepy post about the death row inmate that was executed on my wedding aniversary. She's a punk.Posted by: Ted at 07:10 AM | Comments (45) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Because it's friday
It's been a terrible week at work. I can handle being busy, but it's the stupidity that drives me up a wall. Blog-wise my job and workplace are what they call a 'target rich environment' but I don't talk about it because most of the frustration derives from training and forethought, or rather, the extreme lack of both. I mean, Custer's soldiers probably weren't incompetent, although you couldn't tell from the end result.
So I'm very happy because it's finally friday! And to celebrate: Good reasons why you should go to work naked. 13. No one ever steals your chair. 12. Toner ink is really hard to get off of your blouse. 11. Much quicker to get that picture of your ass, boobs or balls on the photocopier without being seen.Bonus: No one will do it right after you and you will have an exclusive. 10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning. 9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. 8. People stop stealing your pens after they realize that you have no pockets, yet manage to keep your pen with you all day long. 7. So that -with a little help from Muzak- you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume. 6. You want to see if it's like the dream. 5. To stop those creepy guys in in the computer room from looking down your blouse. 4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." 3. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources. 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
Special Bonus: No Tan Lines And, by far the number one compelling reason to go to work butt naked... 1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
Posted by: Ted at 06:12 AM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 20, 2003
Must've been a little rusty
Brings a whole new meaning to 'stain stick'...
Posted by: Ted at 03:03 PM | Comments (45) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Air Force Blue (part 3)
Part 1 here and part 2 here.
Camp Bullis was an interesting environment all right. It was more Army than Air Force, with luxurious 12-man tents and eating C-rations and hot meals served in your mess kit instead of on plates. Not to mention the community latrine, where you and twenty of your closest friends could all perform your morning sit down together, sans stalls or walls or any semblance of privacy. It was like Boy Scout camp, except we got yelled at a lot and got to play with lots of neat things that went boom and ka-pow! We were there to learn Air Base Ground Defense, which was cool because the Air Force believes that the best defense is a good offense. Most people don't realize that the Air Force Security Police (SP's) were collectively one of the most effective and efficient units in Vietnam. They didn't get that by sitting inside the perimeter fence and waiting for the bad guys, the SP's went out and found the bad guys first. We were being taught the agressive techniques that were learned by hard experience in southeast asia. We learned to set up ambushes of various types, long-range patrol, map reading and basic artillery spotting. The ways of camouflage, cover and concealment, and search techniques for areas, buildings, and persons. We learned how to shoot well with a variety of weapons in a variety of positions and situations - both right and left handed. Combined with plenty of classroom time on theory and tactics, it was pretty intense. Among the most vivid memories I have of Camp Bullis is the morning ritual of attaching the blank suppressors. This was before the neat little laser-tag type simulators, where if you get 'hit' you beep (the link goes to a nifty page describing the system and other simulation aids). Back in the late 70's we used a little red metal box that screwed over your M16 flash suppressor, and 'judges' pointed out who was dead or alive during firefights. The agressors (instructors) never seemed to die, and those bastards had ground burst simulators (on the link, scroll down to see figure 5-5, right above the M-80's which seem puny in comparison). The M115A2 was thrown around to simulate grenades and mortar fire. The instructors would pull a cord to light the fuse and throw it, and before it exploded the simulator gave this piercing whistle. And these weren't harmless either, they packed a punch when they went off. Nothing was scarier than setting up in the perfect camouflaged position, face painted in black and greens, and during the confusion of the ambush an instructor didn't see you there and tossed one of them directly at you (they supposedly weren't trying to kill you). Your ears would be ringing for a while, and I swear the concussion would lift you off the ground a little bit - probably not, but it seemed like it. Since it was just training, we were constantly reminded to pay attention to where we dropped. In combat, you stop and drop instantly. In training, you took a quick split-second to make sure you weren't falling onto a pile of rocks containing a snake, scorpion, or centipede. Getting bit or stung by any of these little beasties was cause for disciplinary action, on top of hurting like hell for some time. And then of course, there were the C-rations, affectionately known as C-rats. Despite the horror stories, and I have a few of my own, they really weren't that bad. It was a little disconcerting though, opening and eating a can of apricots that had been packed the year before you were born. I've had MRE's too, and for my money, C-rats were way better. Well, except for the scrambled eggs or the 'ham and muthers' (lima beans), and the only way to deal with them was to give them to the truly disturbed individual in your unit who actually liked them. There was always one. How many vets carried the legendary P38 (aka 'John Wayne') can opener on your keychain? I did for years, wrapped in a piece of masking tape, and still wore many a hole in pants pockets. Chris Hall not-so-fondly remembered chukka boots in my comments. These low-cut abominations were probably the worst footwear ever designed, and very few people wore them, let alone liked them. These were the first thing everyone ditched first chance you got. Also remembering basic, do you remember the dreaded 'herpes folliculitis' lecture and shaving waivers? We had one poor guy in basic who had the worst acne I've ever seen in my life, and every time he shaved his shirt would just become a blood-soaked mess. They finally got him a shaving waiver. Poor guy desperately wanted to be in the military too. I don't recall what happened to him, but every morning we were convinced he was going to bleed to death right there in front of the mirror.Posted by: Ted at 06:50 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Quotes
"I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
-- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
-- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady) "Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'"
-- Patricia Arquette "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
-- Sharon Stone "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
-- Courtney Cox (Monica on "Friends") "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
-- Tiger Woods (On the difference between men and women
"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars."
--Bruce Willis "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people, don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people, don't blame everything on Satan."
-- George Burns "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'"
-- Jason Alexander (George Castanza on Seinfeld) "Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."
-- Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996) "There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."
-- Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State) "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading."
-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers) "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker."
-- Dan Rather (News anchorman) "I saw a large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?"
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger
Posted by: Ted at 06:45 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 19, 2003
Admit it
You wanted to say it...
Michael Jackson is negotiating with authorities on how to turn himself in. Betcha he wants to go to Juvenile Hall.Posted by: Ted at 07:16 PM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinahhh!
If you like biscotti with your coffee, tea or hot chocolate, you might like these traditional mexican dunking cookies.
Biscochitos ingredients6 cups all-purpose flour
¼ tsp salt
3 tsp baking powder
2 cups shortening
1½ cups white sugar
2 tsp anise seed
2 eggs
¼ cup brandy ¼ cup white sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 1. Mix the ¼ cup sugar and 1 tsp ground cinnamon. Set aside.
2. Sift flour with baking powder and salt.
3. Cream shortening with sugar and anise seeds until fluffy.
4. Beat in eggs one at a time.
5. Mix in flour and brandy until well blended.
6. Turn dough out on a floured board and pat or roll to ¼” or ½” thickness. Cut into shapes (the fleur-de-lis is traditional but I use a biscuit cutter and cut them in half).
7. Dust with the sugar cinnamon mixture.
8. Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Remove immediately from baking sheets. makes 3 dozen
Posted by: Ted at 01:37 PM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
That could've gone better
Mookie and I went to the library last night. I had a list of books that I wanted to look for, some suggested by fellow bloggers. Megan talked about the newest book by Lemony Snicket. No luck, big waiting list. Someone, I forget who, talked about the Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson. Nope, checked out. The DaVinci Code? Longer wait than for Snickett.
I wound up with the dregs from Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt, which was apparently pieced together from his computer files after his death along with some previously published non-Hitchhiker work. I also picked up another Patrick O'Brien novel. Thanks Norbi for that suggestion (I think that was yours, right?), and for those who don't know, this series is the inspiration for the movie Master and Commander. I'm going to wind up buying most of these I guess, although the last thing I need is more books. More bookshelves now, those I could use.Posted by: Ted at 07:38 AM | Comments (47) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Why Men Make Lousy Secretaries
Husband's note to his wife:
"Doctor's office called... Said Pabst beer is normal."Posted by: Ted at 07:01 AM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Is there really a need for this?
Not one, but two books on the complex art of napping. Further proof that you can make money selling most anything on the internet.
Posted by: Ted at 06:25 AM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 18, 2003
New Category
"Seriously"
It's going to be that, because I think I need to get a few things out there over the next few weeks. Because you might not want to read it, I'll just put the title as Seriously and the actual post in the extended entry. The plan is not to dwell on depressing miserable shit, but some of that may occasionally happen. Comments, commiseration, quips, slams, mocking, etc. are cordially invited.Posted by: Ted at 11:54 AM | Comments (47) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Morbidly Curious Department
The Texas Department of Criminal Justice has created a web page detailing what each death row inmate had for his (or her) final meal. It's interesting that tobacco is prohibited, even to those about to be executed.
Posted by: Ted at 08:51 AM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
If it isn't true, it should be
I have no idea as to whether this actually happened as related here, but it's funny as hell, so enjoy!
Posted by: Ted at 08:13 AM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Cynicism 101
"The girls with the bodies
like the boys with Ferrari's.
Girls don't like boys,
Girls like cars and money."
Posted by: Ted at 07:20 AM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 17, 2003
Rocketing Around the Blogosphere
For a wonderful report on a pro-US rally in Washington state, with lots of pictures, go see these guys. Say hello and thanks in their comments too.
Al points out a webring of sites owned and operated by military personnel. Across the Atlantic. List of countries with troops in Iraq. How unilateral of us. Every Monday, Jeff at Alphecca does a roundup of firearm related stories and some damn good analysis. We’re talking fair and balanced here, in it’s original sense. Whatever your personal take on guns and related issues, you should visit him and read what he has to say. He also provides tons of links to sources. Related to the above, Publicola relates the story of a woman who sees men with guns on her front porch. She shoots and wounds one of them, and is now being prosecuted because they were police SWAT team members preparing to break down her door unannounced. The first trial ended in a hung jury, but she faces the possibility of going through it all over again. Being one of those twisted individuals who enjoys obscure and historical military trivia, I found this item at the Flea to be fascinating. Imagine being a member of one of the Canadian Tunneling Companies during World War I… Kelley has the new Cul-de-Sac up. Good links to several blogs I’ve mentioned before, so if you didn’t believe me, trust her. She also includes fellow-Munuvian Heather, of Angelweave fame. Thanks to Jay at Sophont, we now know that art is shit. And vice versa. I'm so glad we've learned to synthetically produce that, because I live near Washington DC, and if the Saudis can run short of sand... Let's finish up with a cool little optical illusion, courtesy of Jockularocracy.Posted by: Ted at 12:29 PM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
You know you're in California when...
1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. You can't remember.....is pot illegal?
10. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
11. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
12. Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M and your Avon rep is a guy in drag.
17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
18. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2003."
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
21. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
23. You AND your dog have therapists.
Posted by: Ted at 08:46 AM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Another hobby designed to keep your wallet free of finance
Of the various Radio Control hobbies, RC boats is a small part, almost an afterthought compared to cars and airplanes. Most RC boats are racers, but there is a small and dedicated group dedicated to military warships. This group is further divided into the scale-model contingent and the combat enthusiasts. The scale-modellers create miniature versions of real ships, taking great pains to fill them with exacting detail. The combat guys don't go to the trouble, since their goal is to sink everything else floating.
That's right, they build models of warships that have working guns. Most of the ships are at 1:96 scale or better, meaning that a scale WWII aircraft carrier like the Yorktown will be around six feet long. There's a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions file) here with lots of information about this interesting hobby, including estimated starting costs and construction tips. My favorite part: 3. Do the ships actually sink? Yes. There is no challenge otherwise. The ships are built to rigid standards that ensure that they can be damaged easily and can be sunk if sufficient damage is sustained. Low-powered BB cannons are used to poke holes in the 1/32" balsa wood that is used on the hull of the ship. Ships also have homemade bilge pumps on-board that can be used to pump out as needed. However, if the rate of incoming water exceeds the pumping rate, the ship will fill with water and eventually sink. There's more information here at the Home Port of Big Gun RC Warship Combat. If you look around this site, you'll find a list of clubs in various areas of the US and around the world, as well as an extensive listing of materials suppliers and resources. And if you look here, you'll find a list of links to many Australian battlegroups, among others. Cool stuff, but the last thing I need is another expensive hobby.Posted by: Ted at 07:40 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Stacy's Mom Has Got It Going On
Fun song, by Fountains of Wayne.
And I'd like to apologize to Rob, a good friend growing up, for having the serious hots for your mom back then.
Posted by: Ted at 07:25 AM | Comments (48) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 16, 2003
Launch Report - 03/11/15
After a windy and rainy week, the weatherman was predicting a beautiful weekend. Except for being a little colder than expected, it was absolutely gorgeous.
Even the traffic cooperated, and I made it to the launch site in record time. I'd planned to show up early to help set up the flying range anyway. About 15 minutes after I got there, the equipment trailer arrived and we got to work. More help arrived and soon we had things ready to go. We had 7 low-power pads for Estes-sized stuff, a pair of pads slightly farther away for mid-power, and four high-power pads set up out away from the crowd. We had a great crowd for this launch. There were several Team America teams from various schools, testing prototype egg-lofters. I've talked about them before, do a search of this site on 'Team America' for more info. I helped one group out who had never before flown a rocket. They showed up with a basic rocket, and I walked them through the prep and check-in after which they made a successful flight. They're going to do fine, they asked a lot of questions and spent the day watching people set up and fly more complex rockets. We also had a group of Boy Scouts. Lots and lots of kids, which is great. There was also a reporter from the Wall Street Journal there, researching an article on recent government regulations and overreaction against various activities. I don't know when the article will appear or if he'll even mention it, but he got the whole story of the Air Munuviana and watched her with us. First up for me was my original high-power rocket, an upscale of the old Centuri Groove Tube. I flew her on an H128 White Lightning motor for a perfect crowd-pleasing flight. Because the wind was so light, I put a 45" parachute on her and she managed to drift about a mile. I had to cross an icy-cold running spillway to get to the field she was in, and got glared at by some hunters in the treelines. On the way back, I hiked past a small pond and saw a beautiful swan floating there peaceful as could be. I took a couple of pictures with my crappy digital camera, but they don't do it justice. That motor was my last solid-propellant high-power motor, and I needed to burn the rest of my stock before the first of the year, thanks to the BATFE and their ever-changing interpretation of the rules and regulations. (This paragraph brought to you by the 'hyphen'. Yay!) Time for the Air Munuviana! Because of the complexity of this rocket, I have a checklist that I follow during the prep work, and I did do a couple of practice runs at home too. The nice thing about the checklist is that I can see exactly where I stopped if I get interupted, and with the number of folks at the launch, I got interupted often by people asking questions. Oh yeah, the kids dubbed her the "Cow Rocket" and she drew great attention and lots of 'wows' even before flight. I put together the hybrid motor (my first ever without assistance) and she was ready to fly. We took her out to the pad and pictures were taken. A minor problem with the nitrous venting was corrected and the countdown began. Beauty! She took off straight as an arrow, coasted for a good while, and just after arching over at apogee the chute ejected perfectly and she floated down to a perfect landing about 200' from the pads. That was so much fun, let's do it again! I hustled back to the truck and started to get Air Mu ready for another flight. That first one was on an H70, and I'd just gotten a new I80, which is twice as powerful and burns twice as long. Quick cleanup of the engine casing from the first flight, disassemble the electronics and reset everything for the next flight, put together the new motor and we're on our way out to the pads again. Once again shouts of "Cow Rocket!" are heard. Everything goes smoothly this time with the nitrous fill and venting, but at ignition something goes wrong. The rocket is undamaged, and in fact it never left the pad. Back to the truck we go, amid many awwws and even a moooo or two. Taking apart the motor showed us what happened. The pressure of the filling nitrous pushed the pre-heater grain down too far and when it ignited the nitrous just dumped out the nozzle instead of combusting with the fuel grain. Very rare, but not unheard of. I didn't have enough time to try for another flight, since we had plans. So for the day, Air Munuviana successfully made her maiden flight, and managed to not kill anyone with an accident on the pad (to any government agents reading this, that is a joke. see Websters.). Next scheduled launch is December 13th, depending on weather. Now for the pictures. Remember I mentioned 'crappy digital camera'? I didn't get a liftoff shot of the Air Munuviana. Several other people were also taking pictures, so if anyone sends me some good ones, I'll post them. What I did post in the extended entry are three shots.Posted by: Ted at 08:57 AM | Comments (48) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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