November 26, 2003

New Ad Campaign from NORML

The top 15 Slogans for Legalized Marijuana

15) Got Buzz?
14) Pot: When you care Enough Not to Care At All.
13) A Day Without Pot is like School
12) Weed My Lips!
11) Hemp: the World's Practical Solution to making, like, paper and rope and necklaces and stuff.
10) It's Not Just For Glaucoma anymore!
9) Help eradicate Road Rage in our Lifetime
Official Sponsor of the NBA
7) Because the waste is a terrible thing to min....Dude! I totally fucked that up!!
6) When Was the Last Time You REALLY looked at your hand.
5) SMOKE POT! ( Did We Just Say That Out Loud? Or Did We Just Think It?)
4) Recommended by 5 out of 5 deadheads
3) Just Doob It
2) It's the all-the-time smokey, skunky, sticky, greeny, seedy, stemmy, doobie so-you-can-get-high medicine.

And the Number 1 Slogan for Legalized Marijuana.....

1) Skull shaped bong: $12.00, Primo Maui-Grown Bud: $100, Watching Teletubbies with your Buddies: PRICELESS

UPDATE: It has been pointed out that this list is in fact copyrighted from Topfive. I went to the site and looked and it is indeed, although their are minor differences. Go visit their site and enjoy their humor, but don't steal it and email it to all your friends like some nitwit did to me. Here's hoping that this link will make things right. Thanks to Brian J. for pointing this out.

Posted by: Ted at 07:12 AM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Boomers

US ballistic missile submarines make up the third leg of our nuclear triad, along with our land-based missiles and long range bomber forces. The subs are nicknamed boomers, and go out for months at a time, sitting quietly in their assigned areas - just in case.

When it's time to fire a missile from underwater, a complex sequence of actions happens. One of the first things is that a 'gas generator' is set off in order to near-instantaneously create a large bubble that the missile 'rides' to the surface. Once the missile breaks the surface the motor fires and lifts the missile into the air, where it's guidance system takes over. This happens in split-seconds.

Just in case the motor misfires, the submarine leans off of vertical by a few degrees, so that a malfunctioning missile doesn't fall back and hit the submarine.

Posted by: Ted at 06:20 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 25, 2003

Winter on the doorstep

Starhawk over at Freedom Lives posted a picture of his beautiful Arizona rose which, incredibly enough, is blooming right now.

I've already pruned back my roses and put them to bed for the winter, but in the extended entry is a shot of the first bloom we had this past spring. Enjoy.

Posted by: Ted at 12:22 PM | Comments (50) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Your Alpha Bravo Charlies

Thanks to DeltaTangoBravo (and I even stole his excellent post title), you can now learn what your initials would be in the Radio Operator Alphabet. Military types might already know this, but it's still fun.

Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliet
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
X-ray
Yankee
Zulu

Interestingly, many folks seem to wind up sounding like old porn stars and strippers.

This is Romeo Tango Papa signing off. Over and out.

Posted by: Ted at 10:48 AM | Comments (48) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 I referred to a project here at the office as a "charlie foxtrot" in a meeting once. My boss knew what I meant (and luckily agreed with my assessment), but I was a little embarrassed when he made me explain to the rest of the staff.

Posted by: nic at November 25, 2003 01:25 PM (nUOJD)

2 'completely fubar'?

Posted by: Ted at November 25, 2003 01:52 PM (Qj620)

3 Juliet November Lima.

Well, now I have a "stage name" in case I ever go Hollywood. (I'll just drop the Lima though.)

Posted by: Jennifer at November 25, 2003 05:10 PM (MWEk/)

4 ...and the fox you trotted in on!

Posted by: triticale at November 25, 2003 05:46 PM (YmQkS)

5 OK...Mine is Delta Mike Romeo, which sounds totally TOO MASCULINE for a chick like me. Even if I'm a tomboy.
Of course, if I use my 'net handle it becomes Delta Tango--which conjures up images of steamy evenings on the verandah with music in the background and a mint julep in my hand...I think I'll stick with that one instead... ;-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at November 25, 2003 08:49 PM (yv+Dg)

6 Mike Whiskey: a fitting tribute to Madfish Willie.

Mike Juliet Tango: ? I don't know about that one.

Posted by: The Bartender at November 29, 2003 02:58 AM (EOu4A)

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It takes a village to raise a child

And y'all are letting me down! Mookie started her 'Dead Guy of the Day' posts, and so far she's only gotten a couple of comments about being a troubled child. Heck, I already knew that.

So the parenting gene kicked in (translation: my wife told me I'd better deal with my child), and I'm steering her morbid sense of humor towards a quest to learn more about capital punishment and the debate surrounding the issue. Hence the recent descriptions about methods of execution and even a little bit about her personal feelings on the subject.

Which is more than you folks are doing. C'mon people, in modern society everyone else is responsible, so if she grows up sick and twisted then she's a chip off the ol' block it's your fault too!

While you're there, engage her by leaving thoughtful comments. Challenge her, make her think. And don't forget to give her hell about her spelling and grammar too. Heaven knows she doesn't listen to me anymore, and lately that frightens me.

Posted by: Ted at 09:57 AM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Ted,
I am over 50 and my spelling still sucks.
What I do when I write longer posts is write them first in a text editor (I use Textpad) that has spellcheck. When I am done I just cut and paste the spellchecked text.
I usually puts the links in later because that is easier to do that way with Movable Type.
Textpad is shareware I think, you can download it for free and if you like it the cost to register is not steep.

Posted by: Starhawk at November 26, 2003 12:35 AM (JSfgi)

2 I've been after her to use her spell checker, and she does sometimes. I can tell when she has, because she'll have perfect spelling while using the wrong words: "what ever" instead of "whatever" or "affect" when she means "effect". Drives me crazy. (short drive)

Posted by: Ted at November 26, 2003 07:14 AM (Qj620)

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How to know whether or not you are ready to have kids

Take these few simple tests for yourself.

Posted by: Ted at 08:37 AM | Comments (45) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 24, 2003

New Jams

I'm sitting here watching the hockey game in my brand new flannel jammie pants. My wife made them for me today, and she's going to attempt a scrubs-style top this weekend.

Nothing more comfortable, so eat your heart out. Nya Nya.

Posted by: Ted at 08:14 PM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Can I get an 'Amen' from my brothers?

"We like to hunt and golf on our days off,
scratch and spit and cuss.
And no matter what line we hand you when we come draggin' in,
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry,
and it's probably gonna happen again."

-- Tracy Byrd, The Truth About Men

Posted by: Ted at 10:40 AM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Underwater Robots

A new generation of underwater robotic vehicles are nearly ready for introduction. The earliest versions were essentially remote control torpedoes, and the last generation were little more than undersea blimps, riding the ocean currents much like their atmospheric brethren travel the skies. The newest models actually ‘soar’ underwater using batteries and pumps to change buoyancy, which in turn provides the lift to move forward. This means that there isn’t a motor in the conventional sense, they operate in a similar fashion to airborne gliders.

"There are no new principles being invoked here. The sea is a very, very harsh environment but it is a fluid. Air and water, except for their densities, are very similar creatures," said Thomas Swean, team leader for ocean engineering and marine systems at the Office of Naval Research in Arlington, Va.

Projected missions include naval patrol, industrial inspection of pipelines, tunnels and cables, environmental monitoring (scroll down or search for 'red tides') and scientific measurement and sampling. With potential cruise times measured in weeks and months and ranges out to hundreds of miles, this promising new technology could greatly extend our understanding of the oceans.

Posted by: Ted at 07:36 AM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 23, 2003

Don't worry, he won't bite

Say hello to Goddard the Rocket Dog up there at the top.

At least, Goddard is what I'm leaning towards right now. Do you have a suggested name for our intrepid canine? If you do, leave it in the comments.

Posted by: Ted at 02:14 PM | Comments (55) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 You could name him after the Basselope from Bloom County, since the pic reminds me of one of Berke Breathed's cartoons...

D*mn--what was that character's name?! It's onthe tip of my tongue...

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at November 23, 2003 03:37 PM (ped5z)

2 Dad, I'll say it like I always have...Now I know why I am so weird, I take after you...

Posted by: Robyn at November 23, 2003 03:44 PM (gWcjd)

3 How about LOX?

Yours,
Wince

Posted by: Wince and Nod at November 23, 2003 05:12 PM (bCnAV)

4 Name him Duncan. Why? Just because. Lol, he is cute though.

Posted by: Tasberry at November 23, 2003 07:21 PM (D+OdG)

5 I don't care what you name him, but I'd like to take him to Club Medicated this week and put him in my weekly meeting with my supervisor! Her glasses are so dirty, I doubt she'd notice it wasn't me!

Posted by: Dawn at November 23, 2003 08:33 PM (0zfIx)

6 Goddard being the monicker of the mechanical canine companion to Nickelodeon's Jimmy Neutron Boy Genious (I have 2 young children so I know this) I think the name fits well!

Posted by: StMack at November 23, 2003 08:41 PM (CSxVi)

7 Well, either Goddard or Tsiolkovsky. Since I don't know that I spelled Tsiolkovsky right, I say stick with Goddard.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 23, 2003 10:00 PM (LBXBY)

8 Ralph

Posted by: The Bartender at November 24, 2003 01:41 AM (7IFne)

9 You could name him after me, since the resemblance is uncanny.
But Goddard is good too.
Or Neo-Icharus.

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 24, 2003 09:38 AM (HxCeX)

10 if it's a boy I'll call him Gordon
if it's a girl I'll call her Gordon
I just like the name Gordon

brought to you by the BNL song "Steven Page Is Having a Baby"

Posted by: Rachael at November 24, 2003 03:25 PM (2sKfR)

11 I think Goddard works great.

hln

Posted by: hln at November 24, 2003 10:26 PM (yJyUC)

12 I thought of the Basselope also. I think his name was Rosebud.

Posted by: Anonymous at November 25, 2003 01:03 PM (3eprK)

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Who gets the wishbone?

There's nothing better than the whole family getting together for Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Ted at 10:39 AM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

The Duke

A while back I bought a two-DVD set of old old John Wayne westerns. I try to watch one every saturday while the girls are at work, and I've noticed a few things.

More happens in a one-hour western than happens in today's two-hour action movies. Yeah, the special effects are gazillions times better now, but for sheer plot movement and storyline, you can't beat 'em, and this includes the long stretches of horse chases and riding back and forth between town and the ranch (or wherever the secondary locations are). I'm also realizing that there is truly nothing new in Hollywood. Today I watched the Duke, in grainy black & white, run up the side of a wall and dive back onto the bad guys he was fighting. In how many kung-fu movies have we seen that done?

He always got the bad guys and got the girl too. He was honorable when wrongly accused. When someone needed help, he was there for them. He never started trouble, but he always finished it.

John Wayne was America. What a cowboy.

Posted by: Ted at 12:53 AM | Comments (45) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Trendy words

Chipotle.

I've come to hate that word. It's a roasted jalepeno pepper, fer pete's sake. But yuppiedom has taken that word and made it the 'in' thing, like they did to 'fajita'. Remember when every-freakin-thing was fajita-this and fajita-that?

Paradigm. Habenero. Meme.

People make me pro-nuclear.

Posted by: Ted at 12:15 AM | Comments (47) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 98% of those chipolte weiners would run screraming like scared little girls if they tasted a real pepper.

Posted by: StMack at November 23, 2003 10:04 AM (CSxVi)

2 Sad but true, which is a real shame because I love using chipotle powder in my cooking.
Same with habaneros, too...
Hubby and I aren't chipotle weenies, though--trust me. Even our 14-month-old son loves five-alarm chili!

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at November 23, 2003 03:40 PM (ped5z)

3 Mmmm. I eat roasted jalapenos right out of the jar, but I've never heard/seen the word "chipolte."

Posted by: Tuning Spork at November 23, 2003 04:00 PM (23zyC)

4 I used "meme" in a recent post.
Please don't ban me.

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 24, 2003 09:42 AM (HxCeX)

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More housekeeping

More entries into the 'meant to blogroll these but forgot' category.

Quibbles and Bits is quirky and scattershot. Not for everyone, but definitely worth a look.

Enjoy one of the most beautiful blog layouts I've ever seen. Now if only the font size was just a tad larger. Welcome to Candy Universe.

Fellow Munuvian Daniel is one of the minds behind Bsurot Tovot. Check it out.

Primal Purge. She knows Kerpal, who kicked my dog. Oh, just go see her and click the link.

Margi Lowry is taking a short break for personal reasons. Worth waiting for.

The troll blog from On the Fritz has been on the roll for awhile. I've now added his main blog. His site is one of those that won't let you 'back button' out.

Conrad is the author of Gweilo Diaries. He's another expat in Hong Kong, ala our Simon.

Idiot Villager, where "solutions are not the answer". 'Nuff said.

More well-written randomness, courtesy of Travelling Shoes.

Allah. Yahweh. In the house.

Posted by: Ted at 12:09 AM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 22, 2003

It's that time of year

As I was cooking dinner, a mouse ran out of the pantry and under the dishwasher. They move in every winter. *sigh* Gotta set some traps out.

Posted by: Ted at 07:42 PM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Program Comparisons

Here's a pre-release review of the new DVD about the Clinton presidency. I figured that since the gift giving season is upon us, someone might find it useful.

Posted by: Ted at 07:34 AM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Good News

An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading Louis Farrakhan's newspaper. His best friend walks by, sees the paper, and stops - in shock.

"What are you doing reading that paper?" he says. "You should be reading the 'Jewish Journal'!"

The elderly man replies, "The Jewish Journal has stories about anti-Semitism, problems in Israel - all kinds troubles of the Jewish people. I like to read about good news."

His friend gasps, "WHAT good news could possibly be in that paper???"

"Well, Farrakhan's paper says the Jews have all the money, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the press, the Jews control Hollywood -- see? It's all good news!"

Posted by: Ted at 07:14 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Oooooo, pretty pictures!

Check out the magnificent archive page of Astronomy Pictures of the Day. You'll see some beautiful, amazing and historically significant photos, along with plenty of links to other pix and further information.

Folks, these archives stretch back to June of 1995!

Jen, you may recall one of my comments about the Valles Marineris canyon on Mars, and how it dwarfs our Grand Canyon. They have a great photo of it here, and mucho links to explore.

Enjoy.

Posted by: Ted at 07:10 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 21, 2003

Silent Service Stuff

We got the family newsletter from my son's boat today, the USS Philadelphia, and it confirmed what we suspected: their sea duty has been extended for a good bit. TJ called from Greece a few weeks ago and cancelled Christmas plans, and now it looks like the earliest they'll return to port is February 2004.

This is pure speculation, but I wonder if they're not having to cover for the USS Hartford, which is returning to Norfolk, Virginia for repairs.

Posted by: Ted at 08:47 PM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

They speak Latin when you aren't watching

Evil little fuckers. Have you ever seen that Geico commercial where the squirrel runs out into the middle of the road, causing a car wreck? Of course you have.* And then they celebrate, getting all jiggy widit.

Need more proof of their sinister nature? Ask and ye shall receive!

I'm just glad they live in my neighbor's attic. In fact, I'm tickled pink about that, because he's a jerk.

*To my international friends, just smile and nod. It works for teenagers.

Posted by: Ted at 01:27 PM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 HAHA, Mark deserves it...though it is mean to say that...oops O

Posted by: Robyn at November 21, 2003 03:21 PM (gWcjd)

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