Saturday Night "Club ONT" May 3, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

(Photo from the Makers Mark distillery in Loretto, KY)

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration of your Sunday through Wednesday ONT Crew - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino. Tonight's 'mane' attraction, The Kentucky Derby. Did any of you watch the race? Yay or neigh?

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Saturday Night Joke

The Preacher and the Donkey

A preacher wanted to raise money for the local church and, upon hearing that there was a fortune to be found in horse racing, he decided to purchase one and enter himself. Unfortunately, the going price for a horse at the local auction house was too high so he ended up getting a donkey instead. He decides that, because he has it, he might as well try his luck so he enters it in the horse race and, to his great surprise, it comes in third place.

The newspaper headline the next day read, "Preacher's ass shows."

The preacher was quite pleased with this turn of events, so he decided to enter the donkey in the race again and this time it won.

The newspaper headline the next day read, "Preacher's ass out front."

The bishop was rather unhappy that the church was getting this kind of publicity, so he commanded the preacher to get rid of the donkey.

The newspaper headline the next day read, "Bishop scratches preacher's ass."

After some careful thought, the preacher agreed to give the donkey to a nun in a nearby convent.

The newspaper headline the next day read, "Nun has best ass in town."

This was too much for the bishop. He commanded the nun to get rid of the donkey again. She sold it to a local farmer for the price of $10.

The newspaper headline the next day read, "Nun sells ass for $10."

The bishop fainted. When he regained consciousness, he told the nun to buy the donkey back from the farmer and to then release it into the nearby fields.

The newspaper headline the next day read, "Nun announces ass is wild and free."

The bishop was buried the next day.

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Club trivia.

The craziest stat I’ve seen about this year’s Kentucky Derby is that every single horse in this year’s race is a descendant of Secretariat.
— Joe Pompliano (@JoePompliano) May 3, 2025

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Club endorsed: Calling horse races.

My Wife Knows Everything and The Wife Doesn't Know

Parody, NSFW - language. Horse names: Romance and Affection, Domestic Bliss, Nasty Attitude, Drinking Heavily, I Don't Give a Sh*t, and more.

This one is even better than bofa doaz!

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Drink of the Night

Mint Julep

Surprisingly easy to make!

Whether you're hosting a Kentucky Derby party or you're just craving a refreshing bourbon cocktail, this mint julep recipe is sure to hit the spot.

The key to making a great mint julep is making fresh mint flavored simple syrup.

Mint Simple Syrup:
2 cups water
2 cups white sugar
1/2 cup roughly chopped fresh mint leaves

Cocktails:
8 cups crushed ice, or as needed
32 fluid ounces Kentucky bourbon
8 sprigs fresh mint for garnish

Once you have your mint flavored simple syrup -
Fill eight glasses with crushed ice
pour 4 ounces bourbon and 1/4 cup mint syrup into each cup
Top each drink with a mint sprig

Crushed ice works best. It allows for dense packing in the glass / cup.

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Beyond The Derby and Julep

Bourbon and Horse Racing

When it comes to bourbon and horse racing, most people don't look past The Kentucky Derby, Churchill Downs, and the mint julep. This combination seems to be inexorably intwined. However, the story of bourbon and horse racing goes much deeper, and is much more vast than this one drink on this one day.
While a lot of focus is given to Louisville, where Churchill Downs is located, the real headquarters for racing in Kentucky lies in the area surrounding Lexington, where many of the world's top race horses are bred. Ironically, it's the Kentucky Bourbon Trail that connects these two cities, a nearly 80 mile stretch bookended on one side by Jim Beam, not too far from Louisville, and on the other by Wild Turkey, Four Roses, and Buffalo Trace, which are closer to Lexington.
It's in Lexington, not Louisville, where one of the crown jewels of the racing world lives: Keeneland Racetrack.

It's amazing that most people who are familiar with Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby have never heard of Keeneland, but it's importance and connection to Kentucky Bourbon is significant. Many of the distilleries near Lexington feature bottlings featuring horses and horse racing, most notably the running horses atop Buffalo Trace's Blanton's Bourbon. Keeneland is the home to the Bourbon Stakes race held every October, as well as the Maker's Mile (which is now the Maker's 46 Mile).
Perhaps Keeneland's most significant connection and contribution to Kentucky Bourbon is that the track was the first customer of a little emerging whiskey brand in the late 1950's called Maker's Mark.
***
There's no denying the importance of the Kentucky Derby and the mint julep, but the world of racing and bourbon extends far beyond that classic pairing. Those in the know, skip the insane crowds of Churchill Downs and make their way down to a little magical race track, right out side of Lexington, where champions run, and a little wheated bourbon got its start.

Read the whole thing for more fascinating history. And if you find yourself in central Kentucky on a weekend in April or October, do yourself a favor and visit Keeneland!

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*****

Horses are fine but don't forget about dino racing!

or weiner dog racing!

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Bar games? Pool, darts, and Fingerhakeln (finger wrestling).

The sport dates back to the 17th century and whilst historically, finger wrestling is said to have been a method of solving disputes among men, today it is an organised sport featuring annual competitions for varying age and weight categories in Bavaria (Germany), Austria, and the alpine regions of western Europe.
At its core, finger wrestling involves two men sitting at opposite sides of a wooden table, middle fingers interlocked in a leather band, attempting to drag their opponent across the table. On either side sits a spotter ready to catch a backwards fall, and an umpire decides a winner after two defeats in an extended K.O. format.

Club Music

[Disco says: Long Hard Times to Come is the theme song to the show Justified (the greatest TV show ever), coincidentally set in Kentucky]

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Top 10ish comments of the week. Or thereabout...

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18-1 5-3.JPG

bear 5-3.JPG

bilwis 5-3.JPG

dds 5-3.JPG

iab 5-3.JPG

jq 5-3.JPG

TW 5-3.JPG

sponge 5-3.JPG

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Club ONT brought to you by: Whiskey.

Dog finds old, full, whiskey bottles. Good doggo!

A whiskey river wasn't on Austin Contegiacomo's mind when he found an ocean of it - a Prohibition-era stash, to be exact - washed up on a New Jersey beach while he was walking his dog last month.

*****

Club ONT is not responsible for gambling losses. If you tend to bet on a horse based on a cute name or a hometown reference, consider giving that money to Club ONT staff as a tip instead. At least you'll know where the money went and maybe get a "thank you" in return. You may refer to Club ONT bartenders and servers as "drink jockeys" but giving them the whip or spurs will not get your drink delivered faster.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 09:56 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Suddenly, there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping,
Rapping in the music thread…
I said rap rap rap
I said rap rap rap my homies
Rap rap rappin on the music thread…

Posted by: mindful webworker - that was an easy one at May 03, 2025 09:56 PM (7URu6)

2 Drops mic, steps offstage.

Next act?

Posted by: mindful webworker - unscheduled opening act at May 03, 2025 09:57 PM (7URu6)

3 Hola

Posted by: Thanatopsis at May 03, 2025 09:57 PM (GYt5+)

4 One whiskey, one bourbon, one beer.

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 09:58 PM (uksS7)

5 That's a horse of a different colour.

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 03, 2025 10:00 PM (0FEUr)

6 Whomp,

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 10:00 PM (5875v)

7 I made mint juleps one year. They were--minty.

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 10:00 PM (uksS7)

8 You know, in The Flintstones, when Fred goes out and shouts "Dino! DINO! DINO!!" he's actually shouting "Terrible!" in various volumes.

I'd like to think that his neighbors are shouting back, "Shut up! It's not that bad!" and "Compared to what?" and "How can I sleep when you keep spoiling the future?" and stuff like that.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 03, 2025 10:01 PM (CHHv1)

9 F for the bishop.
Now his ass is grass.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 03, 2025 10:01 PM (gKWVE)

10 There's some good lines in here.

What's her face.

https://is.gd/UnEZzq

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 03, 2025 10:01 PM (0FEUr)

11 I went to Canada to see the Kentucky Derby.

"The Derby's not 'ere, eh?" someone said.

Posted by: Bombadil at May 03, 2025 10:01 PM (MX0bI)

12 Horse races would be much more interesting if they barbequed the one that came in last.

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at May 03, 2025 10:03 PM (TizQb)

13 Great job to all the COBs this week. Thank you for filling in the gap.
Hoping Ace got some good down time and comes back to us refreshed.

Update on grandson: he is feeling much better. It was a particularly bad spell with Lyme Disease. Thank you all for the prayers.

Posted by: TecumsehTea at May 03, 2025 10:04 PM (Eo96p)

14 Bofa deez nuts rolling to victory.

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 03, 2025 10:05 PM (0FEUr)

15 Since this is an All Kentucky Derby ONT I shall go and get my fanciest hat.

brb

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 03, 2025 10:05 PM (hY4dx)

16 Horse races would be much more interesting if they barbequed the one that came in last.
Posted by: Raoul Ortega at May 03, 2025 10:03 PM (TizQb)

Sometimes, senor, ze bool wins.

Posted by: Just the Punchline at May 03, 2025 10:06 PM (fiQ+X)

17 Ace needs a new flag. Suggesting Porky Pig circumscribed by a concert clef bolstered by a pair of bewbs.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 10:06 PM (5875v)

18
Music Thread. To which I never can contribute. Because my tastes are strange. Just like everything else about me.

*glooms*

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 03, 2025 10:06 PM (QnmlO)

19 "Suggesting Porky Pig circumscribed "

If Porky Pig were circumcised, would he then be kosher?

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at May 03, 2025 10:07 PM (TizQb)

20 Speaking of bishops, I saw today: "For more than 750 years, strict rules have guarded what cardinals can and cannot eat [at the Papal Election Conclave] to prevent hidden messages stuffed inside chicken, ravioli and napkins."

Poison rings, and now this. Fuckin' Italians, man.

It does make me crave a calzone, though.

Posted by: Bombadil at May 03, 2025 10:08 PM (MX0bI)

21 LOL! Hope 30% wasn't offensive.

Posted by: JQ at May 03, 2025 10:09 PM (rdVOm)

22 The kids brought the new grandson home today and all is going well. I won't miss that NICU I gotta tell you.

We threw a very small welcome home party for him. He sucked down two oz of milk and is now sleeping it off.

Party animal in the making.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2025 10:09 PM (vKNmo)

23 Evening, ONT Horde, and hosts. Went to the Red Deer Swap meet today, and did not buy a darned thing. But ran into many old friends, and had a good time. Got home in time to get some good work done. Put a battery in '99 Suburban #2, and got it started. Got the golf cart started. Put a battery in #2 Dixon mower, got it started, and mowed one of the ditches.

Posted by: Just the Punchline at May 03, 2025 10:09 PM (fiQ+X)

24 She was bred in Old Kentucky, but she's just a crumb down here.

Posted by: Moe Howard at May 03, 2025 10:10 PM (G5+As)

25 Where did our TRex come in that race?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 03, 2025 10:10 PM (VNX3d)

26 Thanks for a special Derby Saturday Night ONT, 3Ds!

Great Saturday Night Joke!

And, no, I did not watch the Derby but congratulations to Sovereign!

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at May 03, 2025 10:10 PM (rxCpr)

27 Mint juleps are….not good.

Posted by: Piper at May 03, 2025 10:10 PM (p4NUW)

28 Oops, off sock!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2025 10:10 PM (fiQ+X)

29 I had a mint julep once, in Louisiana. Actually, I shared it with my Mom and sister. It was tasty but we didn't finish it.

(I know, what lightweights we were!)

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at May 03, 2025 10:11 PM (rxCpr)

30
I understand the food at papal conclaves is truly awful. It's said to speed discernment of the Holy Spirit.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 03, 2025 10:11 PM (QnmlO)

31 That's wonderful news, Tonypete. Were you driving the getaway car?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 03, 2025 10:11 PM (VNX3d)

32

It's Saturday night. Where are you bartender Miklos??

Posted by: four seasons at May 03, 2025 10:12 PM (3ek7K)

33 I understand the food at papal conclaves is truly awful. It's said to speed discernment of the Holy Spirit.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 03, 2025 10:11 PM (QnmlO)

Purina Pope Chow.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2025 10:12 PM (fiQ+X)

34 Missed the Derby, was on the golf course with my wife. Only one 38 was on the card this evening. And let's just say that I was holding the pencil, not the talent.

Posted by: scampydog at May 03, 2025 10:12 PM (41CYW)

35 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 03, 2025 10:13 PM (c711F)

36 We threw a very small welcome home party for him. He sucked down two oz of milk and is now sleeping it off.

Party animal in the making.
Posted by: Tonypete
--------

That made me giggle. Congrats on the lil guy coming home!

Posted by: JQ at May 03, 2025 10:13 PM (rdVOm)

37 Mrs. Wrecks and I took a tour of the deep south for our honeymoon and we ran into a few mint juleps. When we got home, we thought we'd commemorate the even by planting mint. I didn't know mint was the velociraptor of botany. It took over our garden!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Elephants and Earthquakes! at May 03, 2025 10:13 PM (L/fGl)

38 Flying Mohawk did good, but not good enough.

Posted by: Admiral Spinebender at May 03, 2025 10:14 PM (hftn9)

39 Mint juleps are….not good.

They sound like a very dry martini - basically just the liquor, be it bourbon or gin.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 03, 2025 10:14 PM (s8j++)

40 25 Where did our TRex come in that race?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 03, 2025 10:10 PM
***
TBD. Results are unofficial and under protest.

Posted by: TRex at May 03, 2025 10:14 PM (Nlx7c)

41 Tell me there's a ton of stuff to do all week....cause all this hype for a, what?, 3 minute horse race? seems excessive.

Posted by: Some Rat at May 03, 2025 10:14 PM (TfUTr)

42 Congrats on taking legal possession of the new Scion of the House of Pete, tonypete.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 03, 2025 10:14 PM (hY4dx)

43 Congrats Tonypete. Little Dude sounds awesome.

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 10:15 PM (uksS7)

44 Scampydog, I visited my Pontiac friend in Helena. He doesn't have a loose horn ring. There's one in his driver '56 station wagon.

Have one lead to check out here.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2025 10:15 PM (fiQ+X)

45 What content and plenty of bourbon to boot.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 10:15 PM (5875v)

46 New Mexico's only Kentucky Derby winner did it in spectacular fashion. From Wikipedia: "Mine That Bird (foaled May 10, 2006) is a champion American Thoroughbred racehorse who won the 2009 Kentucky Derby at 50-1 odds[1] and came second in the Preakness Stakes and third in the Belmont Stakes."

https://youtu.be/MOU1_dYNLeA

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 03, 2025 10:17 PM (amnH6)

47 Scampydog, I visited my Pontiac friend in Helena. He doesn't have a loose horn ring. There's one in his driver '56 station wagon.

Have one lead to check out here.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
---------
I appreciate you asking your friend and looking around. I found a '58, but not the '56. I did chat with one of our welders - he said he could do it if it comes down to that. Thanks AOP.

Posted by: scampydog at May 03, 2025 10:18 PM (41CYW)

48 Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining

Posted by: Archer at May 03, 2025 10:19 PM (IDphi)

49 Luka is the Ben Bolt of wienerdogs.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2025 10:19 PM (LHPAg)

50 I watched the Derby, I knew Journalism wasn’t going to win when he got moved to the outside. It was a sloppy, sloppy track. Sovereignty is a strong horse, he is owned by a Sheikh, and interestingly enough, that sheikh’s filly won the Oaks.

Posted by: Piper at May 03, 2025 10:20 PM (e8mjv)

51 >>> Put a battery in #2 Dixon mower, got it started, and mowed one of the ditches.
Posted by: Just the Punchline
----------

My best on a battery is three years past warranty. Usually two. My recent worst was an Interstate battery, +3 months.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 10:20 PM (5875v)

52 Last night on the Tech Thread it was mentioned Miklos may have managed to get himself inadvertently banned. Pixy was going to look into this.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 03, 2025 10:20 PM (amnH6)

53 Where did our TRex come in that race?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 03, 2025 10:10 PM
***
TBD. Results are unofficial and under protest.
Posted by: TRex at May 03, 2025 10:14 PM (Nlx7c)

You didn't already eat anyone who finished ahead of you?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 03, 2025 10:22 PM (VNX3d)

54 Flying Mohawk did good, but not good enough.
Posted by: Admiral Spinebender at May 03, 2025 10:14 PM (hftn9)

Sorry to hear you lost your bet, Admiral. But, Mohawks aren't aerodynamic.

(salute)

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 03, 2025 10:22 PM (0eaVi)

55 52 Last night on the Tech Thread it was mentioned Miklos may have managed to get himself inadvertently banned. Pixy was going to look into this.
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions
------------

It's hard to imagine.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 10:23 PM (5875v)

56 Tuned in just in time to see the race. It was good, but the sloppy track was nasty. Detracts from the fun.

Posted by: Hello Mudder, Hello Fodder at May 03, 2025 10:24 PM (G5+As)

57 Had a race horse once
He was out of Oklahoma by Trailer

Posted by: Ben Had at May 03, 2025 10:24 PM (xQ7b2)

58 Didn't watch the race today. Did a descendent of Secretariat win?

I think someone here linked to this earlier today:
Secretariat - Triple Crown Races - High Quality (Rare Footage). I remember my jaw dropping watching the Belmont.
https://youtu.be/--FbQqU-vAc

I think this was a YooToob sidebar suggestion:
The most dramatic start to a race ever!
https://youtu.be/tFGrJEBn0_A

Ain't got no bourbon. Ain't got no mint. Guess I'll have to make due with some (checks cabinet) rum? Close enough.

Posted by: mindful webworker - annnnnd they're off at May 03, 2025 10:26 PM (7URu6)

59 Kentucky Headhunters "Oh Lonesome Me"

https://tinyurl.com/y3rujtjk

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 10:29 PM (uksS7)

60 Mint Juleps are super tasty, and a perfect complement to a hot humid day. Crushed ice is key, and traditional in a sterling cup, due to it being so conductive. Mint is easy to grow, identifiable because of characteristic square stem. I’m not sure what else it is good for. Seasoning Lamb, I guess.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 03, 2025 10:31 PM (srX5Y)

61 FUN FACT: The Rum Julep is the official cocktail of the once formidable British Navy.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 03, 2025 10:32 PM (hY4dx)

62 Memories, fading through the ages just like paint …

Little sister was living in Louisville and MiladyJo and I were visiting her on Derby day, so she treated us to the real thing. Our daughter was barely out of diapers (I think). We had our baby picking the horses, and several nearby fellows were craning their necks to see what she chose. Good a system as any, I guess.

Posted by: mindful webworker - we won nothing but had some tolerable mint juleps at May 03, 2025 10:32 PM (7URu6)

63 Now the Brits stick to Bum Juleps.

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 10:33 PM (uksS7)

64 Now the Brits stick to Bum Juleps.
Posted by: ScaryMary
-----------
LOL.

Posted by: scampydog at May 03, 2025 10:33 PM (41CYW)

65 Mint-- got loads of it here.

I know what it's good for: Emptying the sprayer after other things get a good dose of Roundup™

Posted by: JQ at May 03, 2025 10:34 PM (rdVOm)

66 FUN FACT: The British Navy has more Admirals than actual ships.

Also: The British Army has more horses than main battle tanks.

Posted by: Archer at May 03, 2025 10:35 PM (IDphi)

67 I will never forget the 1986 Kentucky Derby. In a mint julep state of semi-inebriation, I placed a large wager on Ferdinand to win. Bill Shoemaker brought the nag home to victory from the #1 post at 17:1 odds. What a celebration we had that evening, with me footing the bill for my peeps. A great memory it is, still to this day.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at May 03, 2025 10:35 PM (mH6SG)

68 With crushed ice, a Mint Julep is a little bit like an adult Sno-Cone. Be careful, however they go down easy.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 03, 2025 10:35 PM (Mr2jk)

69 What did the British navy and horse racing have in common?

Both had a Man o' War.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 03, 2025 10:35 PM (xQ7b2)

70 53 You didn't already eat anyone who finished ahead of you?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 03, 2025 10:22 PM
***
Hmmm.... Maybe that explains the post-race inquiry.

Posted by: TRex at May 03, 2025 10:35 PM (cCn4/)

71 Decided to bring the pepper plants indoors tonight. Tomatoes can stay out.

Stepped out to grab some plants and... EEEK! Cat had gotten a big ol' rat & only ate its head.

Good kitty. I think. :green:

Posted by: JQ at May 03, 2025 10:39 PM (rdVOm)

72 JQ, my cat has been on a rat and rabbit tear lately. She eats the head, and may eat the rest. Or not. Yuck.

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 10:44 PM (uksS7)

73 37 Mrs. Wrecks and I took a tour of the deep south for our honeymoon and we ran into a few mint juleps. When we got home, we thought we'd commemorate the even by planting mint. I didn't know mint was the velociraptor of botany. It took over our garden!
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Elephants and Earthquakes!

It's also good for making mojitos, so there's that.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 03, 2025 10:47 PM (0Htd1)

74 Good for the Stars!

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 03, 2025 10:47 PM (mT+6a)

75 At least Cat can't drag his 'dinner' into the house! I am careful to look closely, if he begs to come indoors late at night, LOL.

Posted by: JQ at May 03, 2025 10:48 PM (rdVOm)

76 The craziest stat I’ve seen about this year’s Kentucky Derby is that every single horse in this year’s race is a descendant of Secretariat.

____________________________

This is both amazing and disturbing in a master race, Dr. Mengele sort of way.

Posted by: Orson at May 03, 2025 10:48 PM (dIske)

77
Mojitos are way better than mint juleps.

Posted by: four seasons at May 03, 2025 10:48 PM (3ek7K)

78 Janis Joplin singing "Lovelight" with Ron "Pigpen" McKernan. The House Band ain't bad either. I don't know if I've heard happy Janis. They blow the roof off.

https://tinyurl.com/yck8pvra

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at May 03, 2025 10:49 PM (pIfcn)

79
Kinda like Elon and his many offspring.

Posted by: four seasons at May 03, 2025 10:49 PM (3ek7K)

80 Margaritas are my favorite cocktail that begin with M.

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 10:50 PM (uksS7)

81 I fell down a Jelly Roll Morton rabbit hole. Listening to Wolverine Blues right now. It kicks ass.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2025 10:50 PM (fiQ+X)

82 The Minnesota North Stars defeat the Quebec Nordiques in a Game 7.

Or whatever they're called now.

GO HARTFORD!! Jump on that Whalers band wagon!!

(wait, they're where now?)

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 03, 2025 10:51 PM (c711F)

83 I attended the Derby once...kinda. Two or three Army buddies and I drove down from Ft. Ben to Louisville. Heading for Ft. Knox figuring on cadging bunks, we learning that Ft. Knox was in a dry county. We learned this as we passed a bar with a big neon sign that said 'Last Chance'. Well...we stopped. The next day, passing by in the opposite direction, the sign says 'First Chance'. Ever since then, I have thought of it as the 'First Chance, Last Chance' bar.

Anyhow, we drank too much, then headed on down to Knox. At the gate, we asked about an overnight billet, and were directed to the Reception Center. There, they gave us some bedding, and handed us off to a Drill Sergeant. He took us down to a barracks (it was late...maybe 2 a.m.), led us in, flipped on the lights, and shouted to the startled sleepy recruits 'These men are not to be disturbed, they are actual soldiers!'

So we racked out, to be awakened at dawn by another Drill Sergeant yelling and dumping guys out of their bunks. It was pretty funny...for us, watching. (cont.)

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2025 10:52 PM (XeU6L)

84 We must protect this man

JD Vance
@JDVance
7h
As a general rule, I'm fine with people telling jokes and not fine with people starting stupid wars that kill thousands of my countrymen.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 03, 2025 10:52 PM (D7oie)

85 Heh. Just got off of the tractor - cleaning up the ruts on the road from the last rain. Read that line about Ace having a lot of PTO hours entirely wrong.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 03, 2025 10:52 PM (vd6bO)

86 Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote,
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote

No excuses, People

Posted by: Bishop Ralph of Shrewsbury at May 03, 2025 10:53 PM (LP6Fv)

87 (cont,) Finally got moving, headed out for the racetrack. Here's the rub, I saw exactly one, horse, which had gotten away from the paddock, and was trotting around. The rest of the time, I was sleeping on the ground in the infield, with a newspaper over my head. Nursing a hangover.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2025 10:54 PM (XeU6L)

88 Burger King used to have a Whaler.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2025 10:54 PM (63Dwl)

89 72. When our barn cat gets a rat, he leaves us the head, an internal organ or two, perhaps an unborn baby rat. So we give him a nice can of tuna. He is nuts about that stuff. And rats are so very destructive.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 03, 2025 10:56 PM (vd6bO)

90 78 Janis Joplin singing "Lovelight" with Ron "Pigpen" McKernan. The House Band ain't bad either. I don't know if I've heard happy Janis. They blow the roof off.

https://tinyurl.com/yck8pvra
Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls,

That's a coinkydink, I just listened to a Big Brother and The Holding Company song myself. Been on a SF psychedelic kick lately. Listening to Country Joe and the Fish now.

Posted by: Electric Music For The Mind And Body at May 03, 2025 10:56 PM (G5+As)

91 Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote,
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
----

Is this about Miklos, or Chaucer?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2025 10:56 PM (XeU6L)

92
The Whaler sandwich was so good. I was sad when they stopped selling it.

Posted by: four seasons at May 03, 2025 10:56 PM (3ek7K)

93 I fell down a Jelly Roll Morton rabbit hole. Listening to Wolverine Blues right now. It kicks ass.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

From Wikipedia: Morton's claim to have invented jazz in 1902 was criticized.[5] Music critic Scott Yanow wrote, "Jelly Roll Morton did himself a lot of harm posthumously by exaggerating his worth ... Morton's accomplishments as an early innovator are so vast that he did not really need to stretch the truth."[5] Gunther Schuller says of Morton's "hyperbolic assertions" that there is "no proof to the contrary" and that Morton's "considerable accomplishments in themselves provide reasonable substantiation.”

Additionally, this is proof that not everybody at Wikipedia is a humorless communist.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 03, 2025 10:57 PM (amnH6)

94 I remember the Whaler. I like fish sandwiches better than burgers. Shoot me now, horde.

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 10:57 PM (uksS7)

95 Cicero, come now, *Royal* Navy. Tsk tsk.

The rum ration was regularized by an admiral after whom George Washington's estate, Mt. Vernon, is named.

Last I saw, the company that bought the surplus rum supply from the RN when it ended the ration in 1971 still had some for sale. Not cheap.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 03, 2025 11:01 PM (1m82a)

96 Leon Redbone used to talk a bit about the first ever jazz recording. Don't remember the guy's name....weren't Morton.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 03, 2025 11:02 PM (vd6bO)

97 Margaritas are my favorite cocktail that begin with M.
Posted by: ScaryMary

My favorite cocktails begin with A as in alcohol.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 03, 2025 11:02 PM (amnH6)

98 The Kentucky Oaks Lily (the other Derby drink)

3 oz. cranberry juice (about 1/3 cup)
1 1/2 oz. vodka (3 Tbsp.)
1 oz. lime juice (2 Tbsp.)
1/5 oz. Triple Sec (about 1 1/4 tsp.)
Ice, crushed

Posted by: Frankie at May 03, 2025 11:03 PM (O3qZY)

99 Today's RN has fewer than 70 surface combatants (significantly fewer, if you remove coastal and short-range patrol craft), and the entire RN personnel complement could fit in the Naval Academy's (ours) football stadium with a few thousand seats still empty.

Sad!

Posted by: rhomboid at May 03, 2025 11:03 PM (1m82a)

100 ScaryMary, I liked the 'Filet o Fish' back when McD's served (a better facsimile of) real food.

I really miss Skipper's!

Posted by: JQ at May 03, 2025 11:03 PM (rdVOm)

101 Sorry I'm late, Sam was playing it again.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 03, 2025 11:03 PM (7q/HU)

102 Additionally, this is proof that not everybody at Wikipedia is a humorless communist.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 03, 2025 10:57 PM (amnH6)

I don't know if he "invented" jazz, but he sure as hell contributed a vast body of work to it.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2025 11:04 PM (fiQ+X)

103
ScaryMary,

I also like fish sandwiches better than the burgers.

Posted by: four seasons at May 03, 2025 11:04 PM (3ek7K)

104 101
If she can take it, I can take it.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 03, 2025 11:04 PM (vd6bO)

105 I would totally bet on a horse named Steve.

Never bet on a horse named 'Fails 'Round the Bend.'

Posted by: Pug Mahon at May 03, 2025 11:05 PM (0aYVJ)

106 I don't know if he "invented" jazz, but he sure as hell contributed a vast body of work to it.
_-_-_
Yes, indeed.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 03, 2025 11:05 PM (vd6bO)

107 Leon Redbone used to talk a bit about the first ever jazz recording. Don't remember the guy's name....weren't Morton.
Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 03, 2025 11:02 PM (vd6bO)

I think the consensus is that jazz was "invented" by a guy named Buddy Bolden, who never got recorded.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2025 11:05 PM (fiQ+X)

108 I think I would skip betting on a horse named "Glue."

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 03, 2025 11:06 PM (VNX3d)

109 84 We must protect this man

JD Vance
@JDVance
7h
As a general rule, I'm fine with people telling jokes and not fine with people starting stupid wars that kill thousands of my countrymen.
Posted by: Kindltot

He was responding to warmongering, neocon, douchebag, Bill Kristol.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 03, 2025 11:06 PM (c711F)

110 Part of officer’s duties was issuing Whiskey to the enlisted men & NCOs. It was part of a soldier’s pay and allowances. Lewis and Clark brought several barrels along with them, and would issue an extra “Gill” of Spirits to the troops after an especially arduous task was completed, or as a reward for taking 1st prize in company sharpshooting contests. A Gill is about 5oz (British Imp. measurement) and enough to get anybody snockered after being out on the trail all day.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 03, 2025 11:06 PM (SICIT)

111 Margaritas are my favorite cocktail that begin with M.
Posted by: ScaryMary

Mai Tai

Posted by: Bishop Ralph of Shrewsbury at May 03, 2025 11:06 PM (LP6Fv)

112 The Kentucky Oaks Lily (the other Derby drink)

3 oz. cranberry juice (about 1/3 cup)
1 1/2 oz. vodka (3 Tbsp.)
1 oz. lime juice (2 Tbsp.)
1/5 oz. Triple Sec (about 1 1/4 tsp.)
Ice, crushed
Posted by: Frankie at May 03, 2025 11:03 PM (O3qZY)

A drink with Kentucky in the name but no bourbon? That's just wrong.

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2025 11:06 PM (RFPHU)

113 We enjoyed some Makers Mark just yesterday.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 03, 2025 11:07 PM (2hHY4)

114 I loved the names of the horses in Lonesome Dove (the book)

Hell Bitch
Mouse
old Malaria
etc

Posted by: Pug Mahon at May 03, 2025 11:08 PM (0aYVJ)

115 Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote,
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
----

Is this about Miklos, or Chaucer?
Posted by: Mike Hammer,

This is left as an exercise for the Kind Reader

Posted by: Bishop Ralph of Shrewsbury at May 03, 2025 11:09 PM (LP6Fv)

116 Margaritas are my favorite cocktail that begin with M.
Posted by: ScaryMary

Mai Tai
Posted by: Bishop Ralph of Shrewsbury at May 03, 2025 11:06 PM (LP6Fv)

Mold fashioned. The M is silent

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2025 11:10 PM (RFPHU)

117 Happened to stumble onto Rumble and checked to see if there was a new Intellectual Froglegs. Lo and behold, a new one was uploaded "one hour ago."

Joe Dan's shows are usually pretty good. Haven't played it yet, but here it is.

This Day in Hysteria
https://bit.ly/4iLb9A0

Posted by: mindful webworker - froggie at May 03, 2025 11:11 PM (7URu6)

118 I don't remember if Miklos was in a double-wide with a bunch of single ladies, or in a single-wide with a bunch of double-wide ladies. No judgement. Hope he is well.

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 03, 2025 11:14 PM (uksS7)

119 Dad is long gone, but he once helpfully jotted down famous horses on a napkin for me, that I have as a bookmark in the Winchester book. It is as follows.

Cisco Kid - Diablo
Geo A. Custer - Comanche
Tom Mix - Tony
Napoleon - Marengo
Will Rogers - Soap suds
Duke of Wellington - Copenhagen, at Waterlooo

Posted by: Common Tater at May 03, 2025 11:14 PM (SICIT)

120 Space Hippies on Star Trek right now!

Don't miss it, Herbert!

MeTV

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at May 03, 2025 11:15 PM (ufFY8)

121 Good evening morons и спасибо Dino, Disco, and Doggeh

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 03, 2025 11:15 PM (RIvkX)

122 Heh. Just got off of the tractor - cleaning up the ruts on the road from the last rain. Read that line about Ace having a lot of PTO hours entirely wrong.
Posted by: Don in SoCo

No calluses on Ace's hands.
Uses lots of Lubriderm (tm).

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 03, 2025 11:16 PM (/lPRQ)

123 That time Dr. McCoy got drunk on mint juleps!

Posted by: Wesley Crusher at May 03, 2025 11:17 PM (RIvkX)

124 Donkey joke made me lol

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 03, 2025 11:18 PM (6U1c2)

125 If I ever get another cat, Immona name it Kalamazoo.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at May 03, 2025 11:19 PM (0aYVJ)

126 Donkey joke made me lol
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 03, 2025 11:18 PM (6U1c2)

I laughed my ass off.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 03, 2025 11:20 PM (VNX3d)

127 No calluses on Ace's hands.
Uses lots of Lubriderm (tm)
_-_-_-_
That stuff is great in the winter when your hands start cracking open. Drier that a popcorn fart here in the winter.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 03, 2025 11:20 PM (vd6bO)

128 Margaritas are my favorite cocktail that begin with M.
Posted by: ScaryMary
----

Mai Tai
Posted by: Bishop Ralph of Shrewsbury at May 03, 2025 11:06 PM (LP6Fv)

My favorite cocktail that begins with 'M' is Molotov.

Posted by: Hungarian Freedom Fighter, 1956 at May 03, 2025 11:20 PM (gKDq2)

129 I got the tire changed on my dad's old trailer that I'm trying to sell. Normally changing a trailer tire is pretty easy. I have trailer jacks, but you can just run the non flat wheel up on a couple 2x6s. But this trailer uses a 5th wheel hitch, my gooseneck trailer is a ball hitch. Swapping hitches is a really huge job so I figured I'd just use the floor jack. Problem is my jack is only meant for cars so it hardly had enough handle reach to get it under the trailer axle. Got R done eventually though.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 03, 2025 11:21 PM (bP/i4)

130 My favorite cocktail that begins with 'M' is Molotov.
Posted by: Hungarian Freedom Fighter, 1956

rendes

Posted by: Bishop Ralph of Shrewsbury at May 03, 2025 11:22 PM (LP6Fv)

131 Palerider, have you seen those jacks Caterpillar makes that have the slot for the accompanying jack stands? Pretty slick. Kind spendy for a jack and two jack stands (around $500, I think) but makes getting a jack stand under the same place you're lifting with the jack really easy.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 03, 2025 11:25 PM (vd6bO)

132 Mrs. Wrecks and I took a tour of the deep south for our honeymoon and we ran into a few mint juleps. When we got home, we thought we'd commemorate the even by planting mint. I didn't know mint was the velociraptor of botany. It took over our garden!
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Elephants and Earthquakes! at May 03, 2025 10:13 PM (L/fGl)

Made the same mistake years ago when mojitos were in fashion (and I'm not even a big cocktail guy). It's a bitch for sure. I does smell nice when you run the mower over, so there's that.

Posted by: Otto Pen at May 03, 2025 11:25 PM (sJHOI)

133 61 FUN FACT: The Rum Julep is the official cocktail of the once formidable British Navy.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43)
---------------

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkzy_420hts

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 11:26 PM (5875v)

134 >>>floor jack. Problem is my jack is only meant for cars so it hardly had enough handle reach to get it under the trailer axle. Got R done eventually though.
Posted by: PaleRider
----

I've used a floor jack to up it high enough for the bottle jack.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 11:29 PM (5875v)

135 According to the Library of Congress, the first jazz recording dates to 1917 by the Original Dixieland Jass Band. The fact that the band had to toss original in their name tells you precisely this is in dispute. Plus they're all white which goes far in explaining how they got into a recording studio.

https://is.gd/tbajV8

One Step - Side A - 1917
ODJB
https://youtu.be/RGKYri_XfP0

Livery Stable Blues - 1917
ODJB
https://youtu.be/9chC3kBlDdQ

The first jazz recordings of monumental importance were done by the King Oliver's Creole Jazz Band for Gennett Records on April 5th and 6th of 1923. Some guy named Louis Armstrong was on trumpet.

Just Gone - 1923
King Oliver's Creole Jazz Band
https://youtu.be/bxBQ2kiQyi8

For me, it Armstrong's Hot 5 and Hot 7 recordings that pound the peg into the ground and say "top this." They may be equaled but they never are bettered.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 03, 2025 11:31 PM (amnH6)

136 I've used a floor jack to up it high enough for the bottle jack.
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 11:29 PM (5875v)

That sounds obscene. Is that obscene? And just how many Jacks do you know?

Posted by: RickZ at May 03, 2025 11:33 PM (gKDq2)

137 I've used a floor jack to up it high enough for the bottle jack.
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 11:29 PM (5875v)

I have one of those 20 ton air-operated bottle jacks with two wheels and a long handle to trundle it around. Ages old, I snagged it from a pile in front of scrapyard in Edmonton. It will lift the front of a Peterbilt off the ground.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2025 11:34 PM (fiQ+X)

138 95 Cicero, come now, *Royal* Navy. Tsk tsk.

---------

In 20 more years it will be the Waterborne Instrument of the Will of Allah.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 03, 2025 11:40 PM (hY4dx)

139 For me, it Armstrong's Hot 5 and Hot 7 recordings that pound the peg into the ground and say "top this." They may be equaled but they never are bettered.
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 03, 2025 11:31 PM (amnH6)

Struttin' with some barbecue

Posted by: Otto Pen at May 03, 2025 11:42 PM (sJHOI)

140 My biggest hindrance was that this little floor jack just has a 2 foot jack handle, its not a nice long handle like the floor jacks the tire places have so I was having to be half under the trailer and I didn't have much leverage. Its a homemade steel horse trailer so its fairly heavy.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 03, 2025 11:45 PM (bP/i4)

141 AoP you have the best collection of stuff you salvaged from junk piles. Too bad you're not right door.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 03, 2025 11:48 PM (bP/i4)

142 With McConnell, Massie and Paul I’m not too fond of Kentucky lately.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at May 03, 2025 11:48 PM (VofaG)

143 Not right next door to me. Arghh my typing sucks.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 03, 2025 11:48 PM (bP/i4)

144 My neighbor probably has one of the long handled floor jacks, he is a mechanic and works on vehicles at his place as a side hustle. I never thought about asking if he had one I could borrow because I didn't realize until I was well into my project that my own tools were going to be barely adequate.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 03, 2025 11:53 PM (bP/i4)

145 >>> I didn't have much leverage
---

cheater pipe

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 03, 2025 11:54 PM (5875v)

146 I didn't realize until I was well into my project that my own tools were going to be barely adequate.
Posted by: PaleRider at May 03, 2025 11:53 PM (bP/i4)

The Paolo, he hears lots of stories from wives about 'barely adequate tools'.

Posted by: The Paolo at May 03, 2025 11:57 PM (gKDq2)

147 I couldn't find a cheater pipe that was large enough diameter to go over the jack handle Braenyard. The one dad always had for aiding the tire iron for stubborn lug nuts went to ND with his pickup after he passed away. There was one in the garage but it was only about 1" diameter.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 03, 2025 11:58 PM (bP/i4)

148 Struttin' With Some Barbecue - 1953
Louis Armstrong's All-Stars
https://youtu.be/BSbRs2TjVKs

That will do. The link goes to a write-up about the Hot 5 and Hot 7 recordings done between 1925 and 1928. In one brilliant moment Armstrong in his pals cemented what it means when you say Jazz music. The recordings are available on Columbia's "The Complete Hot Five and Hot Seven Recordings." The music is glorious.

https://is.gd/hpK8Eq

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 03, 2025 11:59 PM (amnH6)

149 SpaceX - Falcon 9 - Starlink 6-84 {/b]
LC-39A - Kennedy Space Center - SPACE AFFAIRS
Launch Date: May 4, 2025
Launch Time: 4:53 a.m. EDT, 0853 UTC, 10:53 CEST

https://www.youtube.com/live/58SRnAXmN0g

______

SpaceX - Falcon 9 - Starlink 15-3
SLC-4E - Vandenberg SFB - SPACE AFFAIRS
Launch Date: May 4, 2025
Launch Time: 10:59 a.m. PDT, 1759 UTC, 19:59 CEST

https://www.youtube.com/live/7l4kQRXuufY

Posted by: Ciampino - next for Space at May 04, 2025 12:00 AM (sPQoU)

150 Armstrong made it clear that he played Dixieland Jazz and no other form of jazz. He was strict about that. Something to do with flat 5s and 7s, I think.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 04, 2025 12:02 AM (5875v)

151 Texas has been a problem today here in Las Cruces. Earlier in the evening it sent us an earthquake which was then followed a few hours later with a massive storm system that lit up the night sky which the erupted in torrential rains. Can frogs be far behind?

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 04, 2025 12:03 AM (amnH6)

152 There seems to be an odd connection between earthquakes and lightening.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 04, 2025 12:05 AM (5875v)

153 Armstrong made it clear that he played Dixieland Jazz and no other form of jazz. He was strict about that. Something to do with flat 5s and 7s, I think. Posted by: Braenyard

I'm good with that. That's like saying Mozart was clear that he only played 18th century classical music. I'm good with that too.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 04, 2025 12:06 AM (amnH6)

154 This Jack looks useful:
https://tinyurl.com/3zuj3acv
Again, not so sure about the price...and those wheels look like they are plastic.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 04, 2025 12:07 AM (vd6bO)

155 There seems to be an odd connection between earthquakes and lightening. Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others.

Nah, It has more to do with Texas giving New Mexico a wedgie. Texas is like that.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 04, 2025 12:08 AM (amnH6)

156 Alteria, New Mexico is a nice place. Sorry we have sent you trouble from Texas. There is help.

https://tinyurl.com/4aaybna5

Posted by: ScaryMary at May 04, 2025 12:09 AM (uksS7)

157 Armstrong made it clear that he played Dixieland Jazz and no other form of jazz. He was strict about that. Something to do with flat 5s and 7s, I think.
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 04, 2025 12:02 AM (5875v)

Now, I thought that "Dixieland" as a name for that genre of jazz arose as a somewhat dismissive term by all the cool kids who were playing bebop, and other strains of modern jazz. Back in the Jazz Age, jazz was simply "jazz". Original Dixieland Jazz Band notwithstanding.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 04, 2025 12:09 AM (yPIZd)

158 Flat 5's and 7's means lots of diminished chords?

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 04, 2025 12:11 AM (vd6bO)

159 Alteria, New Mexico is a nice place. Sorry we have sent you trouble from Texas. There is help.

https://tinyurl.com/4aaybna5
Posted by: ScaryMary

LOL. That's that you picked that out sums up what I mean when I say " Texas is like that."

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 04, 2025 12:12 AM (amnH6)

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