Dog Jiu-Jitsu Cafe

Portofino, Italy

Ah, Valentine's Day. Ladies, you have no idea how much men look forward to February 15th.

This guy knows how to please his lady for Valentine's Day.

Awww.

Here's a little Valentine you can give the missus when she's at her Sink Station.

The Accused.

I can halp!

Turtle siamese twins.

Priorities.

Taking shelter.

When you're on hold and listening to the insipid hold music, you can either get angry, or get groovy.

Yay, summer!

If this is real, then this dog is as smart as a child. Not only does he keep a vigilant watch over an electrical fire of a hot plate or some other small electric device, but the then... pulls the plug out of the socket.

Two innocents are having great fun! 💕pic.twitter.com/7cRUN5AkxU
— Figen (@TheFigen_) February 14, 2024

This is life without the Internet ...pic.twitter.com/WnalAA3q8N
— Figen (@TheFigen_) February 14, 2024

Happiness! ❤️pic.twitter.com/Ef4knEUD1m
— Figen (@TheFigen_) February 14, 2024

Oh no it's too poignant make the feelings stop.

Zip was a champion agility dog, when she was hit by a car and paralyzed. When she came to competitions to watch her brother, “her whole body lit up”.

They let her do a fun run after the competition and her joy is everything.. 🥺 pic.twitter.com/1g77wOQ8xy
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) February 14, 2024

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 07:49 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 ONE!

Posted by: Gref at February 14, 2024 07:49 PM (5fDan)

2 I nooded

Posted by: Gref at February 14, 2024 07:50 PM (5fDan)

3 Good evening everyone again from Biden County
I am getting afraid if I don't get away from here soon I'll start voting Democrat

Posted by: Skip at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM (G4cMd)

4 Still no ferrets.

*harrumph!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM (3CVIc)

5 I see AoS Valentines advice is right up there with medical and dating advice.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM (tT6L1)

6 Speaking of turtle heads, I'll be right...nevermind.
*hic*

Posted by: Hillary's Screaming Liver at February 14, 2024 07:52 PM (/Td2i)

7 Why do the Europeans have miles and miles and miles of cliffs along the seas, where they build many marvelous and beautiful structures like the one above, and the US doesn't? Hey, Gaia, what gives?

Posted by: Gref at February 14, 2024 07:55 PM (5fDan)

8 Looks like that electrical fire was a charger for an e-bike?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 14, 2024 07:56 PM (tkR6S)

9 I tried that spoon and water trick. Trouble is, we have hard water here, so all I could get it to do was a diamond. No heart.

Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 07:57 PM (MvF+J)

10 A cat I had from college on got a partial paralysis in the back legs on Christmas one year when she was about 18 but she soon learned to walk pretty well again by widening her back feet to make a stable triangle and when I moved to a house with a second level she made sure to climb every step up and down at least once a day and jump up onto the bed too. I was able to fudge a step on the bed but she always grumbled if I helped her up or down the stairs. Wanted to do it herself.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 07:57 PM (eoQWY)

11 I took Mrs. E and her 94 year old sidekick to lunch. Had roses and cards for both ladies and they were both surprise and pleased.

Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 07:57 PM (NxC5+)

12 "If this is real, then this dog is as smart as a child. Not only does he keep a vigilant watch over an electrical fire of a hot plate or some other small electric device"

Looks like a power adapter of some sort. Maybe for an old laptop?

Posted by: AshevilleRobert at February 14, 2024 07:58 PM (fv27Y)

13 That's a fine port in that picture up top.

Posted by: Ciampino - it could be Corfu at February 14, 2024 07:58 PM (qfLjt)

14 Why do the Europeans have miles and miles and miles of cliffs along the seas, where they build many marvelous and beautiful structures like the one above, and the US doesn't? Hey, Gaia, what gives?
Posted by: Gref at February 14, 2024 07:55 PM (5fDan)

West Coast has cliffs at shores in many places.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 07:59 PM (eoQWY)

15 It's time for our mid-month 2024 AoSHQ Café Balanced Scoreboard, as of 14 Feb 24:
(MDT / YTD)

Penguins: 3 / 8
Regular bunnies 2 / 2
Bats: 0 / 2
Sea Otters: 0 / 2
Yaks: 0 / 2
Sauna Snow bunnies: 0 / 1
River Otters: 0 / 1
Leaf sheep: 0 / 1
Ostrich: 0 / 1
Baby pig: 0 / 1
Scotsmen in windblown kilts or equivalent: 0 / 1 (for the 'ettes)
Giant watusi: 0 / 0
Llamas: 0 / 0
Alpacas: 0 / 0
Baby skunks: 0 / 0

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 07:59 PM (a3Q+t)

16 Haha...her Sink Station...

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at February 14, 2024 07:59 PM (OX9vb)

17 Eromero, you are a gentleman.
The old ways are the best ways.

Posted by: RI Red at February 14, 2024 07:59 PM (Pq8ny)

18 10 My Mitten is taking Chondroitin and it really does help her hind legs.

Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:00 PM (MvF+J)

19 9 I tried that spoon and water trick. Trouble is, we have hard water here, so all I could get it to do was a diamond. No heart.
Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 07:57 PM (MvF+J)

Diamonds are nice, too.

Posted by: Emmie at February 14, 2024 08:01 PM (Sf2cq)

20 Dogs are the best. That's a fact.

Posted by: Dog Facts at February 14, 2024 08:01 PM (vFG9F)

21 3 Good evening everyone again from Biden County
I am getting afraid if I don't get away from here soon I'll start voting Democrat
Posted by: Skip at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM (G4cMd)

Don't drink the water!

Posted by: Emmie at February 14, 2024 08:02 PM (Sf2cq)

22 Evenin' Horde.

Mom had a dentist appointment in her hometown this morning. (We have stuck with her established docs after moving.) Getting her up and dressed and out the door on a schedule has become a major production lately (she's not difficult, but she gets easily overwhelmed and stressed and melts down). Today it couldn't have gone more perfectly. We also got her blood draw, originally scheduled for early Friday morning, worked in, saving us another early morning and 40 minute drive. Then we ran into 2 of her church friends at lunch. Just little things but huge blessings to me when I was expecting everything to go wrong. Thank you Jesus.

Posted by: screaming in digital at February 14, 2024 08:02 PM (1eY81)

23 20 Dogs are the best. That's a fact.
Posted by: Dog Facts

I prefer...well you know. *hic*

Posted by: Hillary's Screaming Liver at February 14, 2024 08:03 PM (/Td2i)

24 Nice picture. I'm scouring it for any sign of rising sea levels from global warmening.
Nothing's standing out. Must be some error my part, but for the love of me I just can't see it.

Posted by: From about that Time at February 14, 2024 08:04 PM (4780s)

25 22 Amen.

Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:04 PM (MvF+J)

26 Men look forward to Feb 15 for the 50% off candy.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:04 PM (mDDGh)

27 I've noticed a dearth of bandicoots around here too. I don't guess you can please everyone though. Dogs seem a suitable compromise.

Posted by: fd at February 14, 2024 08:05 PM (vFG9F)

28 Emmie I have thought of that so always bring my bottled water, and often a Monster Energy drink

Posted by: Skip at February 14, 2024 08:05 PM (G4cMd)

29 willowed
Future nostalgia by Alvin Toffler was, when Newt G. was pushing the Contract for America, one of gNewt's favorite authors. Quoted him often, he did.

Posted by: Braenyard at February 14, 2024 08:05 PM (keZMg)

30 friend of mine was raised in Southern Brazil, where the fun thing to do was slide down really steep streets on cardboard and plywood. She said she has no idea why she is still alive.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 14, 2024 08:05 PM (D7oie)

31 "West Coast has cliffs at shores in many places.

Posted by: Oldcat "

And they frequently fall in the ocean. Bad place to build.

Posted by: AshevilleRobert at February 14, 2024 08:05 PM (fv27Y)

32 Just little things but huge blessings to me when I was expecting everything to go wrong. Thank you Jesus.
Posted by: screaming in digital at February 14, 2024 08:02 PM (1eY81)

Nice! What a lovely day for you both!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at February 14, 2024 08:06 PM (OX9vb)

33 In the longer version of that dog "fire marshal" video, a panda comes over and starts chewing on the live wire resulting in his final resting place of the Kabob stand at the local wet market.

Posted by: Orson at February 14, 2024 08:06 PM (dIske)

34 We've used CosominDS for ourselves and dogs. Even the young Heidi, the velociraptor, started getting a capsule a day at 4 months. We get a big bottle of it at Costco when on sale. The fetching Mrs Beartooth called Nutrilabs about giving it to our dogs and they said it was the same formula they make for dogs. Win. Cheaper and more pills than the dog version Costco sells.

Posted by: Beartooth at February 14, 2024 08:06 PM (iPilE)

35 My Mitten is taking Chondroitin and it really does help her hind legs.
Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:00 PM (MvF+J)

Her thing was some nerve thing rather that joint pain, but I did use that on one of my other cats that passed at age 17 and had joint pain. They overlapped by a few years.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:07 PM (eoQWY)

36 Why has Valentine's Day degraded to being just guys panicking/buying/planning things for the women? I can remember guys getting cards, etc. when I was quite young and also it being a mainly American thing.

Posted by: Ciampino - it could be Amalfi at February 14, 2024 08:07 PM (qfLjt)

37 Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 07:57 PM (NxC5+)

Awww. Aren't you sweet.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 14, 2024 08:07 PM (Ki//m)

38 by the way, I brewed up some catnip tea (good for inflammation I think) and managed to spill the whole cup on the floor.

I mopped it up and went to toss the towel in the laundry and saw the cat rolling around in the spot that I had just wiped up.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 14, 2024 08:07 PM (D7oie)

39 OMG Zip. My heart's bursting.

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:08 PM (ZgeZs)

40 I got a Valentine card. And candy. Is that wrong?

Posted by: fd at February 14, 2024 08:08 PM (vFG9F)

41 Posted by: Ciampino - it could be Amalfi at February 14, 2024 08:07 PM (qfLjt)

I did give a card to my husband and he actually got a little card and some chocolates from a kindergartener on the bus. I thought that was terribly sweet of her parents to do that.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 14, 2024 08:09 PM (Ki//m)

42 Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 07:57 PM (NxC5+)

Awww. Aren't you sweet.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 14, 2024 08:07 PM (Ki//m)

They had a threesome later.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:10 PM (pXArx)

43 This is life without the Internet ...

Sliding down the pile of asbestos tailings. Good times...

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at February 14, 2024 08:11 PM (/HDaX)

44 J. Geils Band.
youtube.com/watch?v=k860Vy9woU8

Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:12 PM (MvF+J)

45 Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:10 PM (pXArx)

LOL. I'm not buying it.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 14, 2024 08:12 PM (Ki//m)

46 I thought of a fun idea for the creatively inclined. So, I play tabletop wargames and may pick up X-Wing because the rules are very well done regardless of the dysfunctional IP franchise backing it. The units started off in the first edition with mostly generic pilots but they're pushing the named characters really hard, especially guys from the new-ish movies and shows, no doubt under Woke Disney's influence. Even before Kaffeine Kennedy lit up an epic dumpster fire I was one of those "there are only two Star Wars movies" curmudgeons so I don't actually know or care about these alleged characters beyond a general assumption that they're all fake, gay, and laaaame.

Anyway, it would probably be entertaining and fair-use friendly for someone who knows little of one of these big multimedia hydras to be given major characters' names and maybe pictures and then come up with their own silly interpretations of what that character's backstory might be.

Posted by: CppThis at February 14, 2024 08:12 PM (PZvjL)

47 How steep of hill could the Big Bertha steamer pull 10 cars of potatoes, jack?

I don't know, Joe. We are gonna have to call someone on this.

Joe asked questions even the railroad administrator didn't know!

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at February 14, 2024 08:13 PM (2ovLw)

48 5 I see AoS Valentines advice is right up there with medical and dating advice.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM (tT6L1)
----
A hot iron fixes everything and she knows it.

Posted by: Ciampino - So I forgot today! at February 14, 2024 08:13 PM (qfLjt)

49 26 Men look forward to Feb 15 for the 50% off candy.
Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:04 PM (mDDGh)

Strawberry Lindor truffles will be half off tomorrow, if there are any left. Those things are divine.

And if there aren't any left, the consolation prize will be the lemon KitKats, since the Easter candy is on the cart to replace the Valentine's Day candy.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at February 14, 2024 08:14 PM (OX9vb)

50 friend of mine was raised in Southern Brazil, where the fun thing to do was slide down really steep streets on cardboard and plywood. She said she has no idea why she is still alive.
Posted by: Kindltot at February 14, 2024 08:05 PM (D7oie)
~~~~~

Similar story. The bottom of hill we used to sled on was the West Side Highway in NYC. We friends all took turns being human bollards to avert disaster!

I'd kill my kids if I ever saw them doing something like that.

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:14 PM (ZgeZs)

51 11 I took Mrs. E and her 94 year old sidekick to lunch. Had roses and cards for both ladies and they were both surprise and pleased.
Posted by: Eromero

Well done Eromero!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at February 14, 2024 08:14 PM (hOUT3)

52 BurtTC@ 42-
I’m glad I was not eating when I read that. As it was, I still blew snot across the room. Scared cats.

Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:15 PM (NxC5+)

53 48 5 I see AoS Valentines advice is right up there with medical and dating advice.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM (tT6L1)
----
A hot iron fixes everything and she knows it.
Posted by: Ciampino

Not like hot lead...so I've heard. *hic*

Posted by: Hillary's Screaming Liver at February 14, 2024 08:15 PM (/Td2i)

54 Why has Valentine's Day degraded to being just guys panicking/buying/planning things for the women? I can remember guys getting cards, etc. when I was quite young and also it being a mainly American thing.
Posted by: Ciampino - it could be Amalfi at February 14, 2024 08:07 PM (qfLjt)

My first/late/real wife, before we were ever dating, we were out on V-day, after work, both commiserating the fact we didn't have dates. In our misery, nothing of the sort ever occurred to us, what was to come a few years later.

Still, she took out a piece of notebook paper, tore it into the shape of a heart, using a maroon shade of lipstick, she wrote "Be My Valentine."

I still have it.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:15 PM (w6eL5)

55 Discount chocolate. I am a recovering chocohalic. I eat a Whitman's Sampler in one setting same with those Millionaire Turtle things.
Chocolate Easter rabbit in one day.
psst, where's the sale?

Posted by: Braenyard at February 14, 2024 08:15 PM (keZMg)

56 BurtTC@ 42-
I’m glad I was not eating when I read that. As it was, I still blew snot across the room. Scared cats.
Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:15 PM (NxC5+)

Excellent! Exactly the effect I was going for. Cheers!

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:16 PM (KfUER)

57 Hey Texans.

Cornyn has a rebuttal about to Ken Paxton about Cornyn defending Ukraine's border.

http://tinyurl.com/zu5bh4hm

Posted by: Dr. Claw at February 14, 2024 08:16 PM (roH4R)

58 How do you pronounce 'Lluch?' She's on Timcast. She's got llips.

Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:16 PM (MvF+J)

59 Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:15 PM (w6eL5)

That's lovely!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 14, 2024 08:17 PM (Ki//m)

60 Plain clothes cop busts dope dealer.

http://tinyurl.com/27d93828

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at February 14, 2024 08:18 PM (FVME7)

61 Strawberry Lindor truffles will be half off tomorrow, if there are any left. Those things are divine.

And if there aren't any left, the consolation prize will be the lemon KitKats, since the Easter candy is on the cart to replace the Valentine's Day candy.
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at February 14, 2024 08:14 PM (OX9vb)

Really, I absolutely should stay out of the stores tomorrow.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:18 PM (baev5)

62 >>>I am a recovering chocohalic.
~~~~~

I gave up chocolate for Lent. I'm already struggling and it's still Ash Wednesday.

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:18 PM (ZgeZs)

63 The malinois with the unplugging looked like it was a training exercise to me. They are very smart dogs, maybe it is a special service dog training.

Posted by: PaleRider at February 14, 2024 08:19 PM (3cGpq)

64 I gave up chocolate for Lent. I'm already struggling and it's still Ash Wednesday.
Posted by: IrishEi
---
I was going to give up peanut butter and desserts.

I just ate 2 peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.

Posted by: screaming in digital at February 14, 2024 08:20 PM (1eY81)

65 Two-headed turtle is a wonderful thing. I have a one-eyed trouser trout.

Posted by: Skeevy One at February 14, 2024 08:20 PM (V5BDR)

66 60 I guess Santa decided 'to hell with chimneys!'

Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:20 PM (MvF+J)

67 Chicago 1929 Saint Valentine's Day Massacre !

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with the Struggle to maintain Moron standards at February 14, 2024 08:21 PM (zFq5g)

68
They had a threesome later.
Posted by: BurtTC
====
You misheard. Three way.
Cribbage.

Posted by: From about that Time at February 14, 2024 08:22 PM (4780s)

69 My cat is my Valentine.

Posted by: nurse ratched at February 14, 2024 08:22 PM (42IOy)

70 I've noticed a dearth of bandicoots around here too. I don't guess you can please everyone though. Dogs seem a suitable compromise.
Posted by: fd at February 14, 2024 08:05 PM

If the Peramelemorphphile community would like to apply to be listed on the AoSHQ Café Balanced Scorecard, please submit your application in time for the CY Q2 Scorecard.

Be aware that peramelemorphs include the Bilby.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:22 PM (a3Q+t)

71 67 Chicago 1929 Saint Valentine's Day Massacre !

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty
------------------------

They didn't leave any candy behind either.

Posted by: Braenyard at February 14, 2024 08:22 PM (keZMg)

72 Just occurred to me Candy BeHinde sounds like a strippers name.

Posted by: Braenyard at February 14, 2024 08:23 PM (keZMg)

73 15 It's time for our mid-month 2024 AoSHQ Café Balanced Scoreboard, as of 14 Feb 24:
(MDT / YTD)

Llamas: 0 / 0

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 07:59 PM (a3Q+t)
----
Thank you for your onerous task every month. I see Ace still ignores most of us. Shame on you Ace.

Posted by: Carl Wheezer of Llama renown at February 14, 2024 08:23 PM (qfLjt)

74 I'm only vaguely aware of the concept of females so I don't profess to have any substantial domain knowledge, but I can't help but wonder if they'd be more impressed with their lover treating them to something nice on an arbitrary day, because they wanted to and cared enough to do it, instead of this whole thing where they're supposed to receive something on a particular day as some kind of obligatory deference to commercial tradition.

Posted by: CppThis at February 14, 2024 08:24 PM (PZvjL)

75
Biden bringing up Beau all the time is akin to us normies vomit burping -- it is both spontaneous and distasteful.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 14, 2024 08:25 PM (Fwf9e)

76 Anyway, it would probably be entertaining and fair-use friendly for someone who knows little of one of these big multimedia hydras to be given major characters' names and maybe pictures and then come up with their own silly interpretations of what that character's backstory might be.
Posted by: CppThis at February 14, 2024 08:12 PM (PZvjL)

One of the things about Star Wars was that the little aspects of worldbuilding were so lame. Ok, Luke's last name is Skywalker, but his friends name is Wedge Antilles which is a different style of naming on the same planet. Leia and Han are from other planets so rules might be different. However aliens from all over are similar Yabba Dabba styles like Kit Fisto or Sio Bibble.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:26 PM (eoQWY)

77 I hate Illinois Nazis.

"Non-fatal gunshot victims in Chicago had an overall rate of occurrence of 46.5 per 100,000 from 2006 to 2012, with a demographic breakdown of 1.62 per 100,000 for whites; 28.72 for Hispanics, and 112.83 for blacks."

-
Nazis are the only explanation I can think of.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at February 14, 2024 08:26 PM (FVME7)

78 15 We've had a marmot this month IIRC.

Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:27 PM (MvF+J)

79 I'm only vaguely aware of the concept of females so I don't profess to have any substantial domain knowledge, but I can't help but wonder if they'd be more impressed with their lover treating them to something nice on an arbitrary day, because they wanted to and cared enough to do it, instead of this whole thing where they're supposed to receive something on a particular day as some kind of obligatory deference to commercial tradition.
Posted by: CppThis at February 14, 2024 08:24 PM (PZvjL)

You are supposed to be spontaneous AND deferential and also remember the anniversary dates of a dozen to a hundred events without fail.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:27 PM (eoQWY)

80 BurtTC, mumblemumble years ago, Mrs. E and I were driving through N.M. and stopped for fuel about midnight in the middle of nowhere. When I got back in the truck I handed her the fuel receipt. on the back I had written:
Will you marry me?
YES ( )
NO ( )
She marked YES.

Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:27 PM (NxC5+)

81 So, it was one of those days where a number of things went wrong, including the fact that I couldn't find the ashes which I thought I had with me for the Ash Wednesday service, so I asked them each to write out on a piece of paper things they want to give up for Lent, Including a grudge or something else that was taking them away or holding them back from God. I wrote something too. Then we burned it and a added a little bit of healing oil and that got applied to our foreheads.

Afterwards some woman had an elaborate dessert (I think it was for Valentine's Day) with cherries and meringue and whipped cream, so if anybody wanted to give up desserts for Lent they'll have to start tomorrow.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 14, 2024 08:27 PM (Ki//m)

82 "And if there aren't any left, the consolation prize will be the lemon KitKats, since the Easter candy is on the cart to replace the Valentine's Day candy."

Be comforted by the fact that Peeps are out and ready for purchase. Michael's had a whole display of Peeps merchandise including chocolate scented Peeps stuffies.

Posted by: Tuna at February 14, 2024 08:29 PM (oaGWv)

83 I was going to give up peanut butter and desserts.

I just ate 2 peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.
Posted by: screaming in digital at February 14, 2024 08:20 PM (1eY81)

If you eat the cookies outside of meals they aren't dessert. That's the law.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:30 PM (eoQWY)

84 Couple of coyotes howling in the conservation land next door. Little fcukers.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 14, 2024 08:30 PM (LkLld)

85 We've had a marmot this month IIRC.
Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:27 PM

No one in the Marmotaphile Community has contacted me for inclusion yet.

Sadly, the Spheniscidaephobic Community appears to be ignored, undoubtedly at the behest of Big Penguin.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:30 PM (a3Q+t)

86 "I can't help but wonder if they'd be more impressed by X"

No, they won't be.

Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:30 PM (MvF+J)

87 70

Be aware that peramelemorphs include the Bilby.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:22 PM (a3Q+t)
----
Well that will come in handy for Scrabble.
Never heard that word before, nor bilbies but did know bandycoots - usually used as a derogatory term.

Posted by: Carl Wheezer of Llama renown didn't know either at February 14, 2024 08:30 PM (qfLjt)

88 Cornyn has a rebuttal about to Ken Paxton about Cornyn defending Ukraine's border.

Stay classy, Johnny.

Posted by: Oddbob at February 14, 2024 08:30 PM (sNc8Y)

89 Be comforted by the fact that Peeps are out and ready for purchase. Michael's had a whole display of Peeps merchandise including chocolate scented Peeps stuffies.

Posted by: Tuna at February 14, 2024 08:29 PM (oaGWv)

I am told that Peeps blow up real good in the microwave. Is this true?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 14, 2024 08:30 PM (tkR6S)

90 BurtTC, mumblemumble years ago, Mrs. E and I were driving through N.M. and stopped for fuel about midnight in the middle of nowhere. When I got back in the truck I handed her the fuel receipt. on the back I had written:
Will you marry me?
YES ( )
NO ( )
She marked YES.
Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:27 PM (NxC5+)

Good thing she wasn't chewing gum, spit it into the receipt and crumpled it up.

Oh. Can we at least still be friends?

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:31 PM (RACi0)

91 Valentines guy is a chump. lol.

Posted by: Dr. Evil at February 14, 2024 08:32 PM (bWsRe)

92 I see the problem. The KC police chief is only a colonel. Whereas the police chief of Bent Creek NC is a four star general. No shootings in Bent Creek.

Posted by: Queequeg the Harpooner at February 14, 2024 08:33 PM (VmVdl)

93 They had a threesome later.
Posted by: BurtTC
====
You misheard. Three way.
Cribbage.
Posted by: From about that Time at February 14, 2024 08:22 PM (4780s)

Sure. And all those Ohio "bachelors" who enjoy cornholing are using bean bags.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:33 PM (RACi0)

94 If a homeless person has a dog, is the dog homeless?

I actually thought about this today

Posted by: Don Black at February 14, 2024 08:33 PM (geLO8)

95 BurtTC, mumblemumble years ago, Mrs. E and I were driving through N.M. and stopped for fuel about midnight in the middle of nowhere. When I got back in the truck I handed her the fuel receipt. on the back I had written:
Will you marry me?
YES ( )
NO ( )
She marked YES.
Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:27 PM (NxC5+)

Good thing she wasn't chewing gum, spit it into the receipt and crumpled it up.

Oh. Can we at least still be friends?
Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:31 PM (RACi0)

Burt had a receipt for drinks and snacks ready that said:

Do you want a ride out of New Mexico?
YES ( )
NO ( )

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:34 PM (eoQWY)

96 My stepson asked me about German philosophers, and I said it basically breaks down as: will to live, will to power, and theodicy, but with a chronic incapacity to embrace the power of "and."

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at February 14, 2024 08:35 PM (0FoWg)

97 Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:31 PM (RACi0)

You guys ought to form a comedy routine. Eromero can be the straight guy.

(I liked the story, Eromero)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 14, 2024 08:35 PM (Ki//m)

98 Posted by: BurtTC

It was you, wasn't it, who disparaged bands who don't write their own music? I came across this Professor of Rock video about a late '60s early '70s band with 20 top 40 hits and 10 top 10 hits all covers.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kGqsp8w-_UQ&t=127s

SPOILER ALERT!!!

Hint: Canine trio after sunset.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at February 14, 2024 08:35 PM (FVME7)

99 Turtle's name is DoubleMitch.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 14, 2024 08:35 PM (63Dwl)

100 I'm only vaguely aware of the concept of females so I don't profess to have any substantial domain knowledge, but I can't help but wonder if they'd be more impressed with their lover treating them to something nice on an arbitrary day, because they wanted to and cared enough to do it, instead of this whole thing where they're supposed to receive something on a particular day as some kind of obligatory deference to commercial tradition.
Posted by: CppThis at February 14, 2024 08:24 PM

Failure to do so can initiate recompiling you to the Friend class.

Does that help?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:35 PM (a3Q+t)

101 I was going to give up peanut butter and desserts.
I just ate 2 peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.
Posted by: screaming in digital at February 14, 2024 08:20 PM (1eY81)
~~~~~

There's still time! Pick something you haven't eaten today and give that up. Something like tripe maybe.

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:36 PM (ZgeZs)

102 I see the problem. The KC police chief is only a colonel. Whereas the police chief of Bent Creek NC is a four star general. No shootings in Bent Creek.
Posted by: Queequeg the Harpooner at February 14, 2024 08:33 PM (VmVdl)

Just saw an image of the "colonel."

I think there might be more to it than just the rank.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:36 PM (RACi0)

103 "I can't help but wonder if they'd be more impressed with their lover treating them to something nice on an arbitrary day"

That works too. Try doing it on February 15th and nothing on the 14th next year and see what that gets you.

Posted by: fd at February 14, 2024 08:37 PM (vFG9F)

104 Nobody gives up lutefisk for Lent.

Posted by: Thorvald at February 14, 2024 08:37 PM (a3Q+t)

105 The cleansing nuclear fire in space, why its a good thing:

Facebook dies
Siri dies
TikTok dies
..
The Internet addicted will become lemmings

Posted by: Anna Puma at February 14, 2024 08:37 PM (4Og7v)

106 The middle of nowhere describes most of New Mexico.

Posted by: huerfano at February 14, 2024 08:37 PM (Q4KYm)

107 62 >>>I am a recovering chocohalic.
~~~~~

I gave up chocolate for Lent. I'm already struggling and it's still Ash Wednesday.

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:18 PM (ZgeZs

lol. One day. One day!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 08:38 PM (3CVIc)

108 I'm only vaguely aware of the concept of females so I don't profess to have any substantial domain knowledge, but I can't help but wonder if they'd be more impressed with their lover treating them to something nice on an arbitrary day, because they wanted to and cared enough to do it, instead of this whole thing where they're supposed to receive something on a particular day as some kind of obligatory deference to commercial tradition.
Posted by: CppThis at February 14, 2024 08:24 PM

Failure to do so can initiate recompiling you to the Friend class.

Does that help?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:35 PM (a3Q+t)

Segmentation Violation : Core Dumped

(a common unix error message)

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:38 PM (eoQWY)

109 Was it a gang shooting at the soup and bread bowl celebrations in KC?

Posted by: Dr. Evil at February 14, 2024 08:39 PM (bWsRe)

110 BurtTC, mumblemumble years ago, Mrs. E and I were driving through N.M. and stopped for fuel about midnight in the middle of nowhere. When I got back in the truck I handed her the fuel receipt. on the back I had written:
Will you marry me?
YES ( )
NO ( )
She marked YES.
Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:27 PM (NxC5+)

Good thing she wasn't chewing gum, spit it into the receipt and crumpled it up.

Oh. Can we at least still be friends?
Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:31 PM (RACi0)
***

That's sushi in that bag isn't it?

Posted by: Diogenes at February 14, 2024 08:39 PM (6X8wc)

111 105 The cleansing nuclear fire in space, why its a good thing:

Facebook dies
Siri dies
TikTok dies
..
The Internet addicted will become lemmings
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 14, 2024 08:37 PM (4Og7v)

The new Microsoft AI Copilot will self censor. Ask a non PG question, and it at first answers, THEN cuts to a 'I can't answer that question' line.

And no, you can't turn off the 'safety function... and turning off the AI itself is a registry hack.

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 14, 2024 08:39 PM (xaFKb)

112 It's an obligatory reference to traditions.

Ladies get chocolate, flowers, wine, and fancy foods on Feb. 14 because they do, and that's that.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at February 14, 2024 08:40 PM (0FoWg)

113 "I can't help but wonder if they'd be more impressed with their lover treating them to something nice on an arbitrary day"

That works too. Try doing it on February 15th and nothing on the 14th next year and see what that gets you.
Posted by: fd at February 14, 2024 08:37 PM (vFG9F)

But, honey, by depositing early I avoided accrued interest so it isn't due until May 17th!

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:40 PM (eoQWY)

114 Burt had a receipt for drinks and snacks ready that said:

Do you want a ride out of New Mexico?
YES ( )
NO ( )
Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:34 PM (eoQWY)

I was nowhere near New Mexico on that day!

What day?

That day!!

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:40 PM (RACi0)

115 re micro'd peeps.
Yes, yes they do.

Posted by: From about that Time at February 14, 2024 08:40 PM (4780s)

116 112 It's an obligatory reference to traditions.

Ladies get chocolate, flowers, wine, and fancy foods on Feb. 14 because they do, and that's that.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at February 14, 2024 08:40 PM (0FoWg

And then there's steak and BJ day!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 08:41 PM (3CVIc)

117 That works too. Try doing it on February 15th and nothing on the 14th next year and see what that gets you.
-

Honey, you won't believe the deal I got on the candy and flowers!

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Do you remember when our sun used to be yellow? at February 14, 2024 08:41 PM (APSri)

118 lol. One day. One day!
Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 08:38 PM (3CVIc)
~~~~~

You have no idea how difficult this is! There's a candy dish full of M&Ms not five feet from me!!!

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:41 PM (ZgeZs)

119 I’ve often wondered what would have happened if she’d just clamped the receipt to the others without looking at the back.

Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:41 PM (NxC5+)

120 CoPilot?

Have they learned nothing from Clippy?

Posted by: Anna Puma at February 14, 2024 08:42 PM (4Og7v)

121
You have no idea how difficult this is! There's a candy dish full of M&Ms not five feet from me!!!
Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:41 PM (ZgeZs)

You put them there, didn't you?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 08:42 PM (3CVIc)

122
"I can't help but wonder if they'd be more impressed with their lover treating them to something nice on an arbitrary day"

I first read that as obituary day.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 14, 2024 08:42 PM (63Dwl)

123 Facebook dies
Siri dies
TikTok dies
..
The Internet addicted will become lemmings
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 14, 2024 08:37 PM (4Og7v)

Snake Plissken: "Welcome to the human race..."

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at February 14, 2024 08:42 PM (/HDaX)

124 How do you pronounce 'Lluch?' She's on Timcast. She's got llips.
Posted by: Throw gp That Whammy at February 14, 2024 08:16 PM (MvF+J)

Yuch?

Posted by: Kindltot at February 14, 2024 08:42 PM (D7oie)

125 Was it a gang shooting at the soup and bread bowl celebrations in KC?
Posted by: Dr. Evil

We need to avoid unsubstantiated rumors at this early stage of the investigation but, until I have reason to think otherwise, I'm assuming it was trannies.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at February 14, 2024 08:43 PM (FVME7)

126 109 Was it a gang shooting at the soup and bread bowl celebrations in KC?
Posted by: Dr. Evil at February 14, 2024 08:39 PM (bWsRe)

If we haven't received a lengthy and neurotic lecture from the media yet about how the horrible orange Trumpy murderer is why all non leftists should be sent to camps like right now, then it's probably safe to assume that it's gang stuff.

Posted by: CppThis at February 14, 2024 08:43 PM (PZvjL)

127 re: sidebar

Ok... That's odd, I thought the actress had just gotten into porn and drugs.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 08:44 PM (di6C2)

128 Burt had a receipt for drinks and snacks ready that said:

Do you want a ride out of New Mexico?
YES ( )
NO ( )
Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:34 PM (eoQWY)

I was nowhere near New Mexico on that day!

What day?

That day!!
Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:40 PM (RACi0)

well I meant Eromero but the thought of you hanging about NM waiting for gals to be abandoned by their guys in the middle of the night is even more funny

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:44 PM (eoQWY)

129 3.
Roscosmos - Soyuz 2.1a - Progress MS-26 -
LS 31/6 - Baikonur
February 14, 10:15pm ET

http://tinyurl.com/3jf3879v

4.
SpaceX - Falcon 9 - NOVA C (IM-1) -
LC-39A - Kennedy Space Center
12:15 a.m. ET

http://tinyurl.com/mwe5rahk

Launch #2 tonight from California was scrubbed by SpaceX. I'm a bit late with that news.

Posted by: Ciampino - Rocketman at February 14, 2024 08:44 PM (qfLjt)

130 Are the Easter candies up at Walmart yet? I didn't make it out there today.

Posted by: huerfano at February 14, 2024 08:44 PM (Q4KYm)

131 88

'Stay classy, Johnny.'

Piece of shit doesn't even defend his corrupt vote. He just attacks Paxton. Even a neutral reader can read between the lines and see Cornyn has no defense.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at February 14, 2024 08:44 PM (roH4R)

132 >>>You put them there, didn't you?
~~~~~

Of course. They're always there. It's a thing. It was never an issue until today.

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (ZgeZs)

133 Was it a gang shooting at the soup and bread bowl celebrations in KC?
Posted by: Dr. Evil

We need to avoid unsubstantiated rumors at this early stage of the investigation but, until I have reason to think otherwise, I'm assuming it was trannies.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at February 14, 2024 08:43 PM (FVME7)

If they say they aren't trannys then its surely trannys.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (eoQWY)

134 You have no idea how difficult this is! There's a candy dish full of M&Ms not five feet from me!!!
Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:41 PM

Only eat the green, brown, and purple ones.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (a3Q+t)

135
How do you pronounce 'Lluch?'

You rrang?

Posted by: Llurch at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (63Dwl)

136 I missed the Huma Soros thread. There is no way a man of such wealth would be wasting time with a borderline elderly 2 without evil in mind

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Do you remember when our sun used to be yellow? at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (APSri)

137 Chicago 1929 Saint Valentine's Day Massacre !
Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with the Struggle to maintain Moron standards at February 14, 2024 08:21 PM (zFq5g)

ATFE supposedly had a "turn in your ex for an illegal weapons purchase" tweet that got a lot of people sending in info on Hunter Biden and Eric Holder

Posted by: Kindltot at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (D7oie)

138 SPOILER ALERT!!!

Hint: Canine trio after sunset.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at February 14, 2024 08:35 PM (FVME7)

For reasons having to do with the late wife, I started listening to female singers primarily, after she died. It was something I noticed, that a song recorded from someone else's writings, it just lacked that something that I was looking for.

Yes, lots of emotional stuff, and it just seems to me, if you're writing your own words, and pouring your heart out, there's going to be something more than if you're singing someone else's words about something and someone in the writer's life.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (/WHsm)

139 132 >>>You put them there, didn't you?
~~~~~

Of course. They're always there. It's a thing. It was never an issue until today.
Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (ZgeZs

Lol 😂

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (3CVIc)

140
Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 08:41 PM (3CVIc)

Yeah that's dozens of other days a year. Let 'em have their thing.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (0FoWg)

141 Several idiots and a vaguely surprised looking gal.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 08:46 PM (di6C2)

142 Still no ferrets.

*harrumph!
Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM

Are you not a river otter man?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:46 PM (a3Q+t)

143 136 I missed the Huma Soros thread. There is no way a man of such wealth would be wasting time with a borderline elderly 2 without evil in mind
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Do you remember when our sun used to be yellow? at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (APSri)

Or she is a beard for... other pursuits. Pizza activities.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 08:47 PM (di6C2)

144 142 Still no ferrets.

*harrumph!
Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM

Are you not a river otter man?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:46 PM (a3Q+t)

Nah, I just did that to get Nurse riled up. She needs the target practice.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 08:47 PM (3CVIc)

145 I’ve often wondered what would have happened if she’d just clamped the receipt to the others without looking at the back.
Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:41 PM (NxC5+)

I'm sure she had been checking every receipt for a while.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:47 PM (eoQWY)

146 Are the Easter candies up at Walmart yet? I didn't make it out there today.
---
I saw Reeses eggs last time I was there, probably more than a week ago.

Posted by: screaming in digital at February 14, 2024 08:47 PM (1eY81)

147 well I meant Eromero but the thought of you hanging about NM waiting for gals to be abandoned by their guys in the middle of the night is even more funny
Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:44 PM (eoQWY)

It's how I met my second wife.

That didn't go so well.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:47 PM (/WHsm)

148 142 Still no ferrets.

*harrumph!
Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 07:51 PM

Are you not a river otter man?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:46 PM (a3Q+t)

Are stoats ferrets?

http://tinyurl.com/24fhp84s

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 08:48 PM (di6C2)

149 Have they learned nothing from Clippy?
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 14, 2024 08:42 PM

TBF, I got a lot of money out of Microsoft Bob.

Posted by: Melissa French at February 14, 2024 08:49 PM (a3Q+t)

150 Couple of coyotes howling in the conservation land next door. Little fcukers.
Posted by: JackStraw

"conservation land next door"? Here, those little fcukers howl on the next street over.

Posted by: SFGoth at February 14, 2024 08:49 PM (KAi1n)

151 It was you, wasn't it, who disparaged bands who don't write their own music? I came across this Professor of Rock video about a late '60s early '70s band with 20 top 40 hits and 10 top 10 hits all covers.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kGqsp8w-_UQ&t=127s

SPOILER ALERT!!!

Hint: Canine trio after sunset.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at February 14, 2024 08:35 PM (FVME7)

I subscribe to his channel...

Great information, but I hate his delivery style ... and that stuoid fucking hat he wears.

Posted by: browndog uses alternative therapies too at February 14, 2024 08:50 PM (TTAGa)

152 I'm sure she had been checking every receipt for a while.
Posted by: Oldcat at February 14, 2024 08:47 PM (eoQWY)

Now THAT'S funny!

Posted by: BurtTC at February 14, 2024 08:53 PM (/WHsm)

153 Evenin'

Yay! Good News Everyone! My ancient plumbing has struck again! Maybe! The condo maintenance folks stopped by and let me know that the unit below me has a leak and it's coming into their bathroom, from a vent in the ceiling. Probably from my place. Nothing obvious so probably one of the pipes between the unit below and mine. That will require a major repair I'm paying for! Yay! Or, the water is coming from somewhere else. I doubt it though. grumblegrumblegrumble...

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at February 14, 2024 08:53 PM (sAmhv)

154 I just learned that Nikki Haley is married

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Do you remember when our sun used to be yellow? at February 14, 2024 08:54 PM (APSri)

155 You bet OldCat, she was checking receipts. She’s an accountant.

Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 08:55 PM (NxC5+)

156 Are the Easter candies up at Walmart yet? I didn't make it out there today.
---
I saw Reeses eggs last time I was there, probably more than a week ago.
Posted by: screaming in digital at February 14, 2024 08:47 PM (1eY81)

When I worked unloading trucks at Walmart, we would start getting Valentine's and Easter stuff before Christmas. We got back-to-school stuff in early June.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not Ready for the Cart at February 14, 2024 08:55 PM (T/Lqj)

157 Great information, but I hate his delivery style ... and that stuoid fucking hat he wears.
Posted by: browndog uses alternative therapies too at February 14, 2024 08:50 PM (TTAGa)

I had to look it up. You do not see a pork pie hat much any more. Iridescent does not enter into it.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 08:55 PM (di6C2)

158 15
I propose adding two more:
Hystricognathi (no, it's not when Hillary gets her panties in a knot, those have a penguin smell).
Also the Orycteropus (we can omit the obligatory ant).

(The Horde has this fear of Math, so they are jolly well going to get a dose of Greek and Latin in its place!)

Posted by: Ciampino - The Orbital Sled at February 14, 2024 08:56 PM (qfLjt)

159 Great information, but I hate his delivery style ... and that stuoid fucking hat he wears.
Posted by: browndog uses alternative therapies too

And, in my humble opinion, he's too verbose. 5 minutes of information crammed into 20 minutes.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at February 14, 2024 08:57 PM (FVME7)

160 Yea, it they ran a color revolution against Trump and us.

http://tinyurl.com/2yzd4phx

Posted by: JackStraw at February 14, 2024 08:58 PM (LkLld)

161 Are stoats ferrets?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 08:48 PM

Stoats, ferrets, and weasels are all Mustelids

If y'all want to form a Mustelidaephile Community, and apply for a listing in the AoSHQ Café Balanced Scorecard, please see the application guidelines listed above.

Be advised that doing so may get you labeled a Malcontent by Ace, who seems increasingly influenced by blandishments from Big Penguin, based on the Balanced Scorecard.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 09:00 PM (a3Q+t)

162

Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 09:00 PM (a3Q+t)

163 Stoats, ferrets, and weasels are all Mustelids

If y'all want to form a Mustelidaephile Community, and apply for a listing in the AoSHQ Café Balanced Scorecard, please see the application guidelines listed above.

Be advised that doing so may get you labeled a Malcontent by Ace, who seems increasingly influenced by blandishments from Big Penguin, based on the Balanced Scorecard.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 09:00 PM (a3Q+t)

Poor WeaselStoat.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 09:01 PM (di6C2)

164 I'm still Gobsmacked that the IC/Deep State tried to pull the Russian Space Nukes in The Tailpipe Trick.

My dudes, this scam could be seen a mile away.

You're not fooling anyone with the bulljazz.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at February 14, 2024 09:03 PM (XV/Pl)

165 You're not fooling anyone with the bulljazz.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at February 14, 2024 09:03 PM (XV/Pl)

I dunno. Covid and the Election both still floor me.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 09:04 PM (di6C2)

166 Why does Ace play favorites??

Totally unfair.

More Ferrets!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 14, 2024 09:04 PM (3CVIc)

167 I propose adding two more:
Hystricognathi (no, it's not when Hillary gets her panties in a knot, those have a penguin smell).
Posted by: Ciampino - The Orbital Sled at February 14, 2024 08:56 PM

What are we, chopped liver?

Posted by: Sciurognathi at February 14, 2024 09:05 PM (a3Q+t)

168 I'm way late so probably willowed, but you all have reminded me of an old favorite. Probably Dorothy Parker because all the best things are:

A perfect rose he gave me when he left me.
One perfect rose.
Why is it not my luck to get one perfect limousine do you suppose?
But no. It's just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

Posted by: Wenda at February 14, 2024 09:05 PM (IaGYs)

169 Why does Ace play favorites??

Because he is wise beyond the imaginings of mortal men.
*genuflects and kowtows*

Posted by: Archimedes at February 14, 2024 09:06 PM (CsUN+)

170 Every child should grow up with a dog !!

Yep. Sure glad that I did.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at February 14, 2024 09:06 PM (V8he0)

171 Wow, hours after the parade shooting... and almost no information about who did it.

/puts on his tinfoil hat...

My guess? Palestinian supporters... otherwise we would have heard SOMETHING by now.

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 14, 2024 09:08 PM (xaFKb)

172 @165

>>I dunno. Covid and the Election both still floor me.

Yeah, they've pretty much given up on the whole clandestine and plausible deniability aspects of their Ops.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at February 14, 2024 09:08 PM (XV/Pl)

173 164 I'm still Gobsmacked that the IC/Deep State tried to pull the Russian Space Nukes in The Tailpipe Trick.

My dudes, this scam could be seen a mile away.

You're not fooling anyone with the bulljazz.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at February 14, 2024 09:03 PM (XV/Pl)

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time... and if you fool more than half, then you get to be Precedent!

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 14, 2024 09:09 PM (xaFKb)

174 Dogs are family too. Oh yeah, cats too.

Posted by: Eromero at February 14, 2024 09:10 PM (NxC5+)

175 164 I'm still Gobsmacked that the IC/Deep State tried to pull the Russian Space Nukes in The Tailpipe Trick.

My dudes, this scam could be seen a mile away.

You're not fooling anyone with the bulljazz.
Posted by: Thomas Bender

The I in IC does not necessarily stand for Intelligence...

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at February 14, 2024 09:10 PM (hOUT3)

176 >>My guess? Palestinian supporters... otherwise we would have heard SOMETHING by now.

How about black on hispanic violence?

http://tinyurl.com/5n6pw8mt

Posted by: JackStraw at February 14, 2024 09:10 PM (LkLld)

177 170 Every child should grow up with a dog !!

Yep. Sure glad that I did.
Posted by: Notorious BFD at February 14, 2024 09:06 PM (V8he0)

Dogs are awesome.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 09:10 PM (di6C2)

178 170 Every child should grow up with a dog !!

Yep. Sure glad that I did.
Posted by: Notorious BFD

My siblings and I still talk and reminisce about the dog we grew up with, and it has been almost 29 years now...

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at February 14, 2024 09:11 PM (hOUT3)

179 160 Yea, it they ran a color revolution against Trump and us.

http://tinyurl.com/2yzd4phx
Posted by: JackStraw at February 14, 2024 08:58 PM (LkLld)

No one, save those who have gone down the rabbit hole, understands this.

It’s to “inside Baseballish” for the general public to wrap heads around and buy into.

Posted by: browndog hates that he knows this at February 14, 2024 09:12 PM (TTAGa)

180 You did good!

Very impressed by the lady who put on her wedding gown to surprise her husband so many decades later; both that she had the gown and still wore it beautifully.

The black lab in the water, looking back for its buddy that didn't care to join in the swim, I know that feeling. (Wth!?)

Happy Valentine's ❤ Day, all!

Posted by: L - Now King of BS doesn't remember what happened last evening so forget about it at February 14, 2024 09:13 PM (GshMh)

181 Every child should grow up with a dog !!

Truth.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at February 14, 2024 09:13 PM (j++Y7)

182 Dogs are awesome.

We had four, starting from when I was a wee lad up until the time I left home. They were all unique in their own way and were greatly loved.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at February 14, 2024 09:15 PM (V8he0)

183 Only eat the green, brown, and purple ones.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 14, 2024 08:45 PM (a3Q+t)
~~~~~

I see that you are not an M&Ms aficionado. There happen to be seasonal colors. Right now the bowl is filled with red, pink and white ones.

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 09:15 PM (BTgIn)

184 Every dog should have a boy.

Posted by: Sherman at February 14, 2024 09:15 PM (SYTee)

185 I see that you are not an M&Ms aficionado. There happen to be seasonal colors. Right now the bowl is filled with red, pink and white ones.
Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 09:15 PM (BTgIn)

Almond M&M's are best.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at February 14, 2024 09:16 PM (j++Y7)

186 Wow, hours after the parade shooting... and almost no information about who did it.

/puts on his tinfoil hat...

My guess? Palestinian supporters... otherwise we would have heard SOMETHING by now.
Posted by: Romeo13 at February 14, 2024 09:08 PM (xaFKb

I'm going with the easy answer. gang related.

Posted by: Naples Yellow at February 14, 2024 09:24 PM (w6AZl)

187 Wow, hours after the parade shooting... and almost no information about who did it.

/puts on his tinfoil hat...

My guess? Palestinian supporters... otherwise we would have heard SOMETHING by now.
Posted by: Romeo13
-

Because it's just normal black shooting stuff. I'm betting this exact same thing happened in at least three other cities within the last week.

It's not news.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Do you remember when our sun used to be yellow? at February 14, 2024 09:25 PM (0+Kup)

188 I'm going with the easy answer. gang related.
Posted by: Naples Yellow at February 14, 2024 09:24 PM (w6AZl)

Probably the simplest.

*looks over at Las Vegas shooting day counter*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 09:25 PM (di6C2)

189 >>>Almond M&M's are best.
~~~~~

They are good, as are the peanut. I like the plain milk chocolate the best, and I'm not a fan of any of the new-fangled flavors.

Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 09:25 PM (BTgIn)

190
If you had doubts Soros' son was gay, wouldn't an announcement of him dating Huma put those to rest?

Posted by: Auspex at February 14, 2024 09:26 PM (j4U/Z)

191 Almond M&M's are best.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at February 14, 2024 09:16 PM (j++Y7)

----------

Just no brown ones, man.

Posted by: Van Halen at February 14, 2024 09:26 PM (bo7UB)

192 @186

>>I'm going with the easy answer. gang related.

It was the Midnight Basketballers Vs. The Casual Joggers.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at February 14, 2024 09:26 PM (XV/Pl)

193 My parents spent way more money at the vet for our pets than they had to spend on me.

Worth every cent.

Posted by: Naples Yellow at February 14, 2024 09:26 PM (w6AZl)

194 >>No one, save those who have gone down the rabbit hole, understands this.

>>It’s to “inside Baseballish” for the general public to wrap heads around and buy into.

In my opinion it's been going on for decades. We have been basically been living in The Matrix. We think we are free people picking our own government but in reality we have been living in a simulation.

We got to pick from a couple of candidates who were approved because they played within proscribed lines. But their foreign policy was basically the same because it wasn't really their foreign policy. We have a wide open border and somehow most of DC thinks this is just fine. Somehow indoctrinating children with porn is cool and guys magically becoming women is totally natural while public schools no longer teach kids critical thinking, they teach what to think. And our media has been reduced to pure propaganda supporting all of it.

Yea, not easy to get people to see the truth. Sounds too crazy and dangerous to most.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 14, 2024 09:27 PM (LkLld)

195 If you had doubts Soros' son was gay, wouldn't an announcement of him dating Huma put those to rest?
Posted by: Auspex at February 14, 2024 09:26 PM (j4U/Z)

----------

That freak would be working the glory hole at a big truck stop if it wasn't for Daddy.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at February 14, 2024 09:27 PM (bo7UB)

196 Memento homo, qui pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris.

Good Ash Wednesday to all our peeps.

Posted by: tcn in AK, Hail to the Thief at February 14, 2024 09:29 PM (sRfrW)

197 190
If you had doubts Soros' son was gay, wouldn't an announcement of him dating Huma put those to rest?
Posted by: Auspex at February 14, 2024 09:26 PM (j4U/Z)

Not really. About the same as it leaking out that Hillary was having a torrid love affair with Jim J Bullock.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 14, 2024 09:30 PM (di6C2)

198 I see that you are not an M&Ms aficionado. There happen to be seasonal colors. Right now the bowl is filled with red, pink and white ones.
Posted by: IrishEi

Pink? Err, I think that's just shower mold.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 14, 2024 09:31 PM (IG4Id)

199 Was listening to the radio on the way home.

It would be pretty darn funny if someone with the Libs of Tiktok set some short vids and pictures to Pink Floyd, The Wall.

Posted by: nurse ratched at February 14, 2024 09:33 PM (3th/7)

200 Brennan. Once a communist, always a communist.

Posted by: From about that Time at February 14, 2024 09:35 PM (4780s)

201 They are good, as are the peanut. I like the plain milk chocolate the best, and I'm not a fan of any of the new-fangled flavors.
Posted by: IrishEi at February 14, 2024 09:25 PM (BTgIn)

The crisped rice ones aren't bad. But the rest- not a fan.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at February 14, 2024 09:39 PM (R4t5M)

202 In my opinion it's been going on for decades. We have been basically been living in The Matrix. We think we are free people picking our own government but in reality we have been living in a simulation.

…

Yea, not easy to get people to see the truth. Sounds too crazy and dangerous to most.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 14, 2024 09:27 PM (LkLld)

4 years ago, I wouldn’t have agreed.

Now, it’s as plain as day, easy to see…

Posted by: browndog hates that he knows this at February 14, 2024 09:40 PM (TTAGa)

203 No Brown M&Ms!

Posted by: Van Halen at February 14, 2024 09:40 PM (SYTee)

204 Brennan. Once a communist, always a communist.

Posted by: From about that Time

=====

The only good commie is one that's dead

Posted by: Country Joe - more right than he could have guessed at February 14, 2024 09:41 PM (8AONa)

205 Because it's just normal black shooting stuff. I'm betting this exact same thing happened in at least three other cities within the last week.

It's not news.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Do you remember when our sun used to be yellow? at February 14, 2024 09:25 PM (0+Kup)

Exactly. Working in Newark for over 15 years, I saw a few of those, and the reaction was the same...."meh". A male will "disrespect" another, and someone gets shot. Or stabbed. No impulse control.

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy now with twice the crazy at February 14, 2024 09:41 PM (iODuv)

206 JetBlue planes collide at Boston Logan International Airport

Expect more of this:
http://tinyurl.com/4u8sbnjh

Posted by: Ciampino - The Orbital Sleds at February 14, 2024 09:46 PM (qfLjt)

207 Nice conjunction of crescent moon and Jupiter riding high tonight.

Posted by: Tom Servo at February 14, 2024 09:47 PM (S6gqv)

208 Yep concerned...

House intelligence releases intel on Russia launching a supposed Satellite Killer Payload into space recently which has the potential of knocking out both civilian and military Sats.

House Intel wants FJB to de-classify this info so that ALL Mil. constructs and ALL Allied Mil. constructs (such as they are) can communicate on this potential threat out in the open.

Posted by: Nightwatch at February 14, 2024 09:48 PM (TDvv2)

209 >>> 208 Yep concerned...

House intelligence releases intel on Russia launching a supposed Satellite Killer Payload into space recently which has the potential of knocking out both civilian and military Sats.

House Intel wants FJB to de-classify this info so that ALL Mil. constructs and ALL Allied Mil. constructs (such as they are) can communicate on this potential threat out in the open.
Posted by: Nightwatch at February 14, 2024 09:48 PM (TDvv2)

Why does this remind me of the "Star Wars" defense during the Reagan era, which we may or may not have been able to build, but the Soviets were convinced we could.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at February 14, 2024 09:52 PM (llON8)

210 Hmm. I'm watching a Cheers and Frasier has dropped off Frederick with Sam to babysit. Frasier is enumerating Frederick's toys for the night, a choo-choo train, book, etc. and an old full-sized G.I. Joe.

The 4-year-old actor, despite having the choo-choo on his lap, sitting on the bar, reaches for the G.I. Joe and grabs it as soon as it's put in front of him; and he keeps on holding onto it after Rebecca picks him up to put take him off-camera.

I guess way back in 1993 boys knew they were boys.

Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at February 14, 2024 09:52 PM (2yu8s)

211 @208

>>House Intel wants FJB to de-classify this info so that ALL Mil. constructs and ALL Allied Mil. constructs (such as they are) can communicate on this potential threat out in the open.

As I said, SOH should remove the Intel Chair for participating in a Op and being an IC Cockholster.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at February 14, 2024 09:54 PM (XV/Pl)

212 Even dogs know lithium batteries aren't safe.

Posted by: DaveA at February 14, 2024 09:57 PM (FhXTo)

213 So?

A SUPER BOWL VICTORY parade is tarnished by the 13% culture.

Bill COSBY attempted to educate but was taken out by the PLANTATION OWNERS...(Just as sure a takedown as George Floyd was murdered by LEO'S...Those that know...DO KNOW!

Posted by: Nightwatch at February 14, 2024 09:58 PM (TDvv2)

214 ONT

Posted by: Zeera the ungoverened at February 14, 2024 09:59 PM (qGQta)

215 I noted earlier this evening that the US launched the X-37 "Space Plane" back in late December on a SpaceX "heavy" booster. First time that's been done. It allows the X-37 to achieve a higher orbit than previously reachable. The X-37 also was configured with an "extended" payload bay. Another first. What might it have held?

Dots... connected. Or not.

Timing between that launch and the Russian launch is consistent with deployment of anti-satellite tech. Or other orbital OPSEC kit.

YMMV

Posted by: Martini Farmer at February 14, 2024 10:01 PM (Q4IgG)

216 No Brown M&Ms!
Posted by: Van Halen at February 14, 2024 09:40 PM

No Yellow!

Posted by: Hunter B., artiste extraordinaire at February 14, 2024 10:03 PM (a3Q+t)

217 206 JetBlue planes collide at Boston Logan International Airport

Expect more of this:
http://tinyurl.com/4u8sbnjh
Posted by: Ciampino

Yea, but did anybody get misgendered. Keep your eyes on the important matters, comrade.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at February 14, 2024 10:58 PM (sAmhv)

218 https://youtu.be/iIIuR-HjFho?si=u3_vbNi9NTc2XtHw

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at February 15, 2024 12:05 AM (sAmhv)

219 https://youtu.be/7NKG8r6Jjz4?si=B86ghgifOS3_HITM

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at February 15, 2024 12:12 AM (sAmhv)

220 Townes Van Zandt

https://youtu.be/SCVTjmygWuU?si=5t25o9kx7MAgYfTe

Same song, covered by a pretty German girl.
(Lotta St. Joan)

https://youtu.be/Z1jIY9fMKTE?si=vOFITUWyjb0oSM6M

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at February 15, 2024 12:23 AM (sAmhv)

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