20th Anniversary Repost: Rich "Psycho" Giamboni

Originally published August 26, 2004.

If You Touch My Hoagie One More Time, I Will Fucking Kill You

by Rich "Psycho" Giamboni
Special Guest Columnist for Ace of Spades HQ

If you touch my hoagie one more time, I will fucking kill you. I don't mean that metaphorically. I mean I will fucking reach across this table and literally, physically kill you.

You had your fun. You thought you were cute. You thought it was clown-time, and you were driving the little car. You touched the top of my turkey and provolone hoagie, and now I've had to rip off the piece of bread that you fucking contaminated.

Well I've got news for you, Chuckles. Clown-time is over. Now it's Psycho-Time. And if you touch my goddamned hoagie one more time, I'm going to fuck you up so bad you'll end up looking like Kuato from Total Recall.

Don't believe me? Think I'm joshing with you? Look at my face: I am not joshing with you, pal. I am deadly serious, and if you so much as fucking lay another finger on this sandwich you'll enter a world of hurt of beyond your very capability to conceive. No fuckin' foolin', you touch this hoagie one more time and I will spill life's blood all over this fucking Quizno's.

You finished your fucking cobb salad and now you're still hungry. Well, Poindexter, who the fuck told you to order that fucking cobb salad? I sure as shit didn't. You looked up at all the delicious, filling sandwiches you could have had and instead you went all queerbait on me. That was a mistake, amigo. That was a very bad mistake.

But I implore you-- if you value your very life, don't compound your error by touching my hoagie again. I shit you not, that will be the very last mistake you ever make.

Okay, okay. Now you're getting "funny" again. Now you're holding your hand a couple of inches away from my hoagie. Well aren't you cute? You're like a sixteen-year-old girl who just got her tits looking all sweet and ripe in her party dress. You're a doll, Susan. You're an absolute plum.

But if your fucking hand actually crosses the sandwich Rubicon, I am going to go apeshit up and down your spine. I am going to punch your fucking kidneys until you piss blood out of your fucking eyeballs.

Think I'm being farcical? Think I'm just "pulling your leg"? Right now I'm a 747 filled with only flying elbows and head-butts and I'm running an ad that says "Fly Me." You want to fly me? I offer Frequent Flyer Miles for fuckers who touch my sandwich. I'll take you to hell and back-- no extra charge.

You want to know how serious I am? You know that part in Dirty Harry when he says, "Go ahead, make my day?" Well imagine Clint Eastwood with a fucking turkey and provolone hoagie he's been looking forward to since 10:30 AM.

That's how fucking shit-serious I am, baby. You touch my hoagie again, I'm going to Dead Pool your grinning fucking face until I turn your brain into a slushing mess resembling gray applesauce.

I've got a little switch in my head. I call it my "Psycho Switch." And you're about to flip it. You flip that Psycho Switch, and I go into Full Retard Berserker Mode. I'll come at you with 100% retard-strength. I'll be all over you like a whirlwind of spazz-slaps and drool.

We don't have to go down this road, Chester. If you want a sandwich, they'll make you another one. Don't let your urge to nosh lead you into the grave. But if you want to play, we can play. I consider myself a bit of a "gamer."

So go ahead. Roll the dice. Let's see how all this plays out. But I warn you: This isn't Yahtzee. You won't be collecting pairs of fives. You'll be collecting your fucking teeth out of the Condiments Bar.

You're pulling your hand away now. Congratulations -- you chose wisely, my friend.

And now you're looking up at the menu-display over the cashier's heads. You're smartening up by the minute, Chief. Buy yourself a nice toasted ham and swiss sandwich. Ain't no lie, a nice toasted ham and swiss sandwich beats a trip to the morgue every day of the week, hands down. And that's the name of that tune.

Oh, and-- while you're up? Do me a solid and and grab me a pack of barbeque-flavor Ruffles. I forgot to get them. Thanks.

Rich "Psycho" Giamboni is an award-winning columnist for Hearst Newspapers. His most recent book is Take Back What You Said About Kevin McHale Or I Will Take a Shit in Your Jeep. His column appears here while Helen Thomas is vacationing.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 04:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Hey

Posted by: Ciampino - Lithium is great in a Hydrogen bomb at December 27, 2023 04:02 PM (qfLjt)

2 First? Who knows, but a little righteous anger can bet a good thing.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at December 27, 2023 04:02 PM (hEv4o)

3 This sounds like my table at Christmas Eve. I don't get it.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 27, 2023 04:03 PM (A1aWg)

4 Quiznos sucks, kinda like your writing.

Posted by: Bob at December 27, 2023 04:04 PM (YiqZD)

5 No real Italian eats a turkey and provolone hero. Fraud.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 27, 2023 04:04 PM (A1aWg)

6 while Helen Thomas is vacationing.
Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace

The world is a much better place for her long 'vacation'.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at December 27, 2023 04:04 PM (bxDDB)

7 What the heck is a hoagie? Who are you people?

Posted by: Marcus T at December 27, 2023 04:05 PM (A1aWg)

8 Still think The Villiage Voice, The Cat Sitters post is the funniest thing ever written on this site.

It's positively Dave Barryesque.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at December 27, 2023 04:05 PM (XV/Pl)

9 Yea, no... never touch another guy's Hoagie.

Especially.... the meat.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 27, 2023 04:06 PM (Q4IgG)

10 Spoiler Alert:
Don't touch that guys hoagie.

Posted by: wth at December 27, 2023 04:06 PM (v0R5T)

11 Damn, but I needed this. Thanks for the (nervous) laugh, Ace.

Posted by: Huck Follywood at December 27, 2023 04:06 PM (nYwem)

12 Ace is still here...Quiznos is not.

The Kevin McHale line is the best part.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2023 04:06 PM (gOwZf)

13 I have been a proud member of the horde practically from the beginning. I don't post often, but I lurk continually!

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at December 27, 2023 04:07 PM (DBrq6)

14 "Hoagie" -- is that like a code word?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:07 PM (Gsmsg)

15 Yea, no... never touch another guy's Hoagie.

Especially.... the meat.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 27, 2023 04:06 PM (Q4IgG)

*side eyes*

Posted by: T.D. Jakes at December 27, 2023 04:07 PM (4I/2K)

16 >>What the heck is a hoagie?

It's another retarded word for a Wedge.

Like a Grinder or a Sub.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2023 04:07 PM (gOwZf)

17 I'm familiar with subs the sandwich. However, hoagies and heros are unfamiliar to me.

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:07 PM (x42Y3)

18 Classic! I still go back to this on occasionally for laughs. Also Dennis Miller and his bear pal.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 27, 2023 04:07 PM (yn1eg)

19 What does this have to do with women's poop?

Posted by: wth at December 27, 2023 04:08 PM (v0R5T)

20 7 What the heck is a hoagie? Who are you people?

Posted by: Marcus T at December 27, 2023 04:05 PM (A1aWg)

Hero, sub, grinder, Dagwood. To name a few.

Posted by: washrivergal at December 27, 2023 04:08 PM (CmpAD)

21 Is "turkey and provolone hoagie" a euphemism for something gay?

Posted by: BillyD at December 27, 2023 04:08 PM (F6Xpw)

22 I am clinging desperately to the fact it is not 20 years until August.

ace, if you are taking suggestions for a retro post, the Dennis Miller and bear one is fantastic.

Posted by: Alexthechick at December 27, 2023 04:08 PM (z02D9)

23 Jared touched some kid's hoagies and got into some serious trouble for it.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:09 PM (Gsmsg)

24 Isn't hoagie a South Jersey thing from the Taylor ham and egg crowd.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 27, 2023 04:09 PM (A1aWg)

25 A classic!

and +1 vote for the Dennis Miller + Bear love one.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at December 27, 2023 04:09 PM (xcxpd)

26 Hope you had a good Christmas with the family, Empress.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2023 04:10 PM (gOwZf)

27 No real Italian eats a turkey and provolone hero. Fraud.
----
I would eat it and I am 100% Roman. However mortadella or prosciutto and provolone would be preferable.

Posted by: Ciampino - I love most cheeses at December 27, 2023 04:10 PM (qfLjt)

28 Hero, sub, grinder, Dagwood. To name a few.
Posted by: washrivergal at December 27, 2023 04:08 PM (CmpAD)

*BZZZZZZZZZZZ*

Wrong. A Dagwood and a Hoagie are two entirely different species of sandwich.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:10 PM (Gsmsg)

29 Rich Giamboni > Rich Evans

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at December 27, 2023 04:10 PM (xcxpd)

30 >>Isn't hoagie a South Jersey thing

PA is where I first encountered it.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2023 04:11 PM (gOwZf)

31 He seems nice.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 27, 2023 04:11 PM (lf83v)

32 12 Ace is still here...Quiznos is not.

The Kevin McHale line is the best part.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2023 04:06 PM (gOwZf)

There's still one Quiznos left around here (central Iowa). They're better (a lot better) that Subway, not as good as Jimmy Johns. Don't know about Jersey Mikes or Firehouse, I've never tried those.

Posted by: BillyD at December 27, 2023 04:11 PM (F6Xpw)

33 Thomas Friedman and the cab driver.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 27, 2023 04:12 PM (0FoWg)

34 This seems to date back to a more innocent time.

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:12 PM (x42Y3)

35 Ah 'retard strength'....that is a name I have not heard in a long time...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at December 27, 2023 04:12 PM (xcxpd)

36 >>I would eat it and I am 100% Roman. However mortadella or prosciutto and provolone would be preferable.

Rather have a Chicken or Meatball Parm, though.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2023 04:12 PM (gOwZf)

37 "I would eat it and I am 100% Roman. However mortadella or prosciutto and provolone would be preferable."

You better put some salami and sopresatta on it if you want me to call it a hero.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 27, 2023 04:12 PM (A1aWg)

38 Jake the Snake’s daddy Grizzly Smith was one of the most evil monsters to ever be in pro wrestling.

Posted by: diceydeuce at December 27, 2023 04:12 PM (DHlwa)

39 Thomas Friedman and the cab driver.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 27, 2023 04:12 PM (0FoWg)

I second that.

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:13 PM (x42Y3)

40 Yea, no... never touch another guy's Hoagie.
______

:/

Posted by: Hoagie Carmichael at December 27, 2023 04:13 PM (lf83v)

41 Quiznos sucks, kinda like your writing.

FUN FACT: Quiznos went from a height of like 4,600 locations to just a few hundred today. Shows what happens when the franchisees have a good product but the franchisor bleeds them white.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:13 PM (Gsmsg)

42 Mr. Giamboni inspired me! His column about eating some CNN droog with a spork had me threatening to kill people with a spork. I now have a world class Christmas present from my kids. It's a "welcome" mat for the porch that reads "I have a spork, get off my porch".
I also got a "tactical" spork with a knife in the handle. I can kill with the spork and field dress with the knife. Winning!
And while cruising thru the local Goodwill store I found a giant, silver plated serving spork. Damn thing is sharp too!

Thank you Mr Giamboni for helping me find a new method of defense.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at December 27, 2023 04:13 PM (cRrcX)

43 I always picture Rich Giamboni sounding a lot like a louder version of Steven Segal.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at December 27, 2023 04:13 PM (xcxpd)

44 Helen Thomas was a AoS coblogger?

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 04:13 PM (BdMk6)

45 *BZZZZZZZZZZZ*

Wrong. A Dagwood and a Hoagie are two entirely different species of sandwich.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:10 PM (Gsmsg)

++++
A Dagwood is a tall sandwich on slices of bread. A hoagie and the rest are long sandwiches on various types of rolls. Just different types of big sandwiches.

Posted by: washrivergal at December 27, 2023 04:14 PM (CmpAD)

46 I've this feeling someone touched Ace's hogey and this is what he was thinking at the time.

Posted by: Bosk of Port Kar at December 27, 2023 04:14 PM (Rn/yD)

47 Quiznos began its fall when they ran an ad campaign featuring decomposing rats that sang. No, really: http://tinyurl.com/4pt7u489

Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 27, 2023 04:15 PM (CwhoI)

48 A Dagwood is a tall sandwich on slices of bread. A hoagie and the rest are long sandwiches on various types of rolls. Just different types of big sandwiches.
Posted by: washrivergal at December 27, 2023 04:14 PM (CmpAD)

I'm sorry, but this is like saying that a Chevy Suburban and an Oscar Meyer Wienermobile are just two different types of large vehicle.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:15 PM (Gsmsg)

49 I miss Iowahawk and Protein Wisdom when they were funny.

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:15 PM (x42Y3)

50 42

FUN FACT: Quiznos went from a height of like 4,600 locations to just a few hundred today. Shows what happens when the franchisees have a good product but the franchisor bleeds them white.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:13 PM (Gsmsg)

Another Fun Fact : In the early to mid-70's, Radio Shack had more stores than McDonalds. Now, not so much.

Posted by: BillyD at December 27, 2023 04:16 PM (F6Xpw)

51 >> Quiznos began its fall when they ran an ad campaign featuring decomposing rats that sang

Yep.
They were way out in front of the Advertising / Marketing Division at Bud Light.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2023 04:16 PM (gOwZf)

52 Originally published August 26, 2004.

-----------

The day I turned 43 (I remember hating photos of myself taken back then -- and now when I see them around the house -- I looked so young ... sigh).

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 04:16 PM (59/68)

53

Psycho Legacy Ace is Best Ace...

Posted by: Prof. Barnum Wideload at December 27, 2023 04:16 PM (Pu5W6)

54 I liked Quiznos. Firehouse Subs is closest to it now.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:16 PM (ge7yh)

55 Had a fella named Smitty once fucking around with another fella's food in the chow hall one time. Fella with the food told him to cut it out. Smitty didn't listen.

Food Fella stabbed Smitty in the hand which was in his food tray. I watched the fork twitch in Smitty's hand and then all hell broke loose.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at December 27, 2023 04:16 PM (Edu7X)

56 Quiznos began its fall when they ran an ad campaign featuring decomposing rats that sang. No, really: http://tinyurl.com/4pt7u489

DEY GOT A PEPPA BAH!

Posted by: Spongemonkey Fan at December 27, 2023 04:17 PM (l8gTz)

57 However mortadella
_________

Does "mortadella" mean "death of the colon" in Italian?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 27, 2023 04:17 PM (lf83v)

58 Oh and RIP to one of the great gun inventors, Gaston Glock

H/T to Marcus T

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at December 27, 2023 04:17 PM (xcxpd)

59 Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 27, 2023 04:15 PM (CwhoI)

That was certainly when I decided to never eat there again, not that I'd eaten there much before.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at December 27, 2023 04:17 PM (nC+QA)

60 The world is a much better place for her long 'vacation'.

It’s a working vacation.

Posted by: C.W. “Riccardo” Saturn at December 27, 2023 04:17 PM (olroh)

61
I'm sorry, but this is like saying that a Chevy Suburban and an Oscar Meyer Wienermobile are just two different types of large vehicle.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:15 PM (Gsmsg)

++++

LOL! Back to the point, I don't think anyone should take food off of another one's plate, except for tots, if they ask. It is rude and annoying.

Posted by: washrivergal at December 27, 2023 04:17 PM (CmpAD)

62 It's as if someone tore open the black embers of my heart and poured pixie dust therein.

Posted by: sven at December 27, 2023 04:18 PM (X0I7i)

63 "Oh and RIP to one of the great gun inventors, Gaston Glock

H/T to Marcus T
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at December 27, 2023 04:17 PM (xcxpd)"

$100 says his coffin is plastic.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 27, 2023 04:18 PM (A1aWg)

64 The world is a much better place for her long 'vacation

It is certainly better looking.

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:19 PM (x42Y3)

65 Another Fun Fact : In the early to mid-70's, Radio Shack had more stores than McDonalds. Now, not so much.
Posted by: BillyD at December 27, 2023 04:16 PM

If you give me your phone number, I'll tell you why.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (4p0Xq)

66 Another Fun Fact : In the early to mid-70's, Radio Shack had more stores than McDonalds. Now, not so much.

The biggest "what in the name of pan-fried idiocy" business collapse IMO is Sears. They had it all. Stores, a thriving catalog business...

And then out of nowhere comes Amazon.

I mean, yeah, Amazon hurt Borders and Barnes and Noble and the like too, but Sears was yuuuuge.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (l8gTz)

67 Ace, I've been looking for the one about your pappy and the snow wops. Can't find it. Hope it's one of the re-posts.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (Dm8we)

68 I always picture Rich Giamboni sounding a lot like a louder version of Steven Segal.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side
......

Steven Segal should try laying off the hoagies.
And cheeseburgers.

Posted by: wth at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (v0R5T)

69 We only have po-boys here. None of that hoagie shit.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (uKeRS)

70 Giamboni has a point....

My wife has a habit of foregoing sides, like fries because she'll bogart off mine.

The "I'll break your fucking fingers if you take one more" line doesn't go over too well these days.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (Q4IgG)

71 Hey, we shouldn't get all worked up because a big mac costs $16 when the orange man is close to getting back in the white house.

-Uncle Fester

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (NYzgN)

72 I bet Psycho loved "Riptide", when it was on TV.

Posted by: President Donald J. Trump at December 27, 2023 04:21 PM (XM6on)

73 I remember this one…

🤌

Posted by: browndog typing, but not thinking at December 27, 2023 04:21 PM (pY+ea)

74 Reminds me a couple of months ago I visited parents with grandkids out of town. We went to a local 'italian' place that we last went to pre-Kung Flu Freakout. It was quite ggod then.

I ordered their deluxe meat (x4 kinds) calzone w/ added anchovies. It cost a bit more than I remember, quite a bit.... but it was also quite good so, inflation too.

When the order came it was half the size as before. Already feeling a ripped off with regular and shrinkflation I was still looking forward to it as, before, it was quite good. Cut into it found something greenish gray?

WTF is this? Poking at it... WTF? Artichokes? Which were also a 'premium' topping for the pizzas, or a $3 extra.
Still trying to be optimistic I took a bite. They were just plain artichokes packed in water! Double WTF?! If they were pickled I could stomach it, but this was just fricken wierd. Who the hell would order a meat calzone with added plain artichokes.

Folks advised me to just go with it. Protests I that it is just too weird. So I summon the waitress over and voice my issue. She checks her bill and says, "OMG, you did order w/ anchovies. Do you want it replaced?"
Yeah, no shit Sherlock.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 27, 2023 04:21 PM (cOq4q)

75 I eagerly await a certain foul-mouthed time-traveling sandwich.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 27, 2023 04:22 PM (aD39U)

76 Firehouse Subs is closest to it now.

Fun Fact ... why does White Castle do it the way they do ? Because, back in the day, people were less trusting. They wanted to see how their food was cooked.[/b[

I think people, back in the day, were smarter. Not "Israel IQ" smarter. But smarter all the same.
Posted by: Chickens Roosting

It's true. Back in the day, burger joints were risky at best. The whole schtick of White Castle was white is clean and let them see their burgers being cooked. I can remember when a $20 bill would get three grocery sacks full of burgers.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:22 PM (NeGkf)

77 >>The Kevin McHale line is the best part.

Agreed. Still laughing.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 04:23 PM (ZLI7S)

78 Auto close FTW. Not today barrel. Not today.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:23 PM (NeGkf)

79 I had a Mexican omlet and grits for breakfast, no need of a hoagie. Maybe tomorrow.

Posted by: Eromero at December 27, 2023 04:23 PM (NxC5+)

80 I bet Psycho loved "Riptide", when it was on TV.

Riptide, like Airwolf and Silk Stalkings, is waaaay overdue for a remake or reboot or whathaveyou.

IMO they're at the level where a remake/sequel/whatever could really really work-- not bad enough to be total crap, but not good enough to leave alone.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at December 27, 2023 04:23 PM (l8gTz)

81 Ah, the sweet age of innocence. Apparently I've been lurking since almost the beginning? Thank goodness I haven't aged at all.
#TeamJimmyJohns

Posted by: Rocky at December 27, 2023 04:23 PM (rrG5/)

82 7 What the heck is a hoagie? Who are you people?
Posted by: Marcus T

Philly region, parts of Florida. And now that WaWa is ever expanding down the East Coat, hoagie territory is too.

Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now at December 27, 2023 04:24 PM (GshMh)

83 This was before my time at AoS. I didn't get my first computer until 2001 or so. Used it only for email. Then Rush started to motivate me toward blogs.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 04:25 PM (BdMk6)

84 I can remember when a $20 bill would get three grocery sacks full of burgers.
Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:22 PM (NeGkf)

For some definitions of burgers. We don’t have White Castle here, but for some reason all the donut shops sold a near copy of those.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at December 27, 2023 04:25 PM (uKeRS)

85 49 Quiznos began its fall when they ran an ad campaign featuring decomposing rats that sang. No, really: http://tinyurl.com/4pt7u489
Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 27, 2023 04:15 PM (CwhoI)

Yeah, they really needed guys in dresses talking to children. It'd have turned things around overnight.

Posted by: Inogame at December 27, 2023 04:25 PM (53oGX)

86 @58: "DEY GOT A PEPPA BAH!"

The world was not quite yet ready for memes back then.

It was a more innocent time.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (u9uo0)

87 Hillary Clinton in....Silk Stockings.
Coming soon to a TV near you.

Posted by: Bosk of Port Kar at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (Rn/yD)

88 Fun Fact ... why does White Castle do it the way they do ? Because, back in the day, people were less trusting. They wanted to see how their food was cooked.

The Portillo's in town (and I assume others) has a sign about other places cook their food in the back and you should wonder what they're hiding.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (l8gTz)

89 >>>What the heck is a hoagie?

My local store has 'hoagie buns', but nary a hoagie anywhere to insert in said buns.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (CwhoI)

90 FUN FACT: Quiznos went from a height of like 4,600 locations to just a few hundred today. Shows what happens when the franchisees have a good product but the franchisor bleeds them white.
Posted by: Cicero

The rat thing mascot probably did not recruit many new customers.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (cOq4q)

91 >>Yeah, they really needed guys in dresses talking to children.

Or, Megan Rapinoe

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (gOwZf)

92 Krystal > White Castle

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (0FoWg)

93 BLAST FROM THE PAST.

With peppers.

Posted by: scottst at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (ojBxe)

94 BUD closed at $64.87/share today, now within $2 of its YTD high. I bare my chest; shoot the messenger, and pray do aim true.

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (MvF+J)

95 Folks advised me to just go with it. Protests I that it is just too weird. So I summon the waitress over and voice my issue. She checks her bill and says, "OMG, you did order w/ anchovies. Do you want it replaced?"
Yeah, no shit Sherlock.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

Brand new Whataburger opened in town. We've been six times. They've fucked up my order four times.

I'm about ready, when they ask, "what can we get for you today?", to reply with, "surprise me. You are going to do it anyway".

Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (NeGkf)

96 94 >>>What the heck is a hoagie?

My local store has 'hoagie buns', but nary a hoagie anywhere to insert in said buns.

I assume the wild hoagie is related to the nauga, but less revered for its hide.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at December 27, 2023 04:27 PM (l8gTz)

97 According to Wikipedia Quiznos once sued its own franchisee for not putting enough meat on a prime rib sandwich. Quiznos lost.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:27 PM (Gsmsg)

98 I need a hero.
I'm holding out for a hoagie burnt slightly on top.
It’s gotta have meat, and it’s gotta have cheese
And it’s gotta be sold by a wop.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at December 27, 2023 04:27 PM (olroh)

99 >>It's true. Back in the day, burger joints were risky at best. The whole schtick of White Castle was white is clean and let them see their burgers being cooked. I can remember when a $20 bill would get three grocery sacks full of burgers.

Saw a guy post his bill from 5 Guys on Twitter yesterday. 3 cheeseburgers, 3 fries and 3 drinks. $55.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 04:28 PM (ZLI7S)

100 103 I need a hero.
I'm holding out for a hoagie burnt slightly on top.
It’s gotta have meat, and it’s gotta have cheese
And it’s gotta be sold by a wop.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at December 27, 2023 04:27 PM (olroh)

nice

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at December 27, 2023 04:28 PM (xcxpd)

101 In college I was in my buddy's car with other friends and we went through a drive thru where we ordered some food and drinks. When they handed him my limeade he proceeded to take a huge drink out of it before handing it to me. Little did we know they had mistakenly mixed in bleach instead of the limeade flavoring as both were in similar bottles. Fortunately he did not have to go to the ER since drinking some milk we got him helped. Needless to say he didn't eat or drink anyone's stuff again.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:29 PM (ge7yh)

102 That's Texas Smart. Is it Israeli 115 IQ smart ? Who knows ? But is was applied, and it works, smart.
Posted by: Chickens Roosting
__________

Ok, you've been going off on the 115 average IQ for Jews since I posted that on thread. What's your counter? Asking in good faith. Put me some facts.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 27, 2023 04:29 PM (Dm8we)

103 Saw a guy post his bill from 5 Guys on Twitter yesterday. 3 cheeseburgers, 3 fries and 3 drinks. $55.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 04:28 PM (ZLI7S)

++++

Wow.

Posted by: washrivergal at December 27, 2023 04:30 PM (CmpAD)

104 Girl spawn and I went to McDonald's for lunch last week. $18 for two meals. Seems like a few years ago I could get 3 meals for that amount.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at December 27, 2023 04:30 PM (cRrcX)

105 Helen Thomas was a AoS coblogger?

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 04:13 PM (BdMk6)

------------

I learned last night from JackStraw that before getting on as a blogger at HotAir, AllahPundit used to comment here.

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 04:30 PM (59/68)

106 Saw a guy post his bill from 5 Guys on Twitter yesterday. 3 cheeseburgers, 3 fries and 3 drinks. $55.
Posted by: JackStraw

Had a lady on Facebook bitching about 3 hash browns at McDonald's costing $18.

WTF did you think those $15/hr salaries were coming from???

Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:30 PM (NeGkf)

107 Hearst. The gift that keeps on giving.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at December 27, 2023 04:31 PM (as3uC)

108

Nick's Hamburger Shop Brookings SD FTW!

Posted by: Prof. Barnum Wideload at December 27, 2023 04:31 PM (Pu5W6)

109 59 However mortadella
_________

Does "mortadella" mean "death of the colon" in Italian?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 27, 2023 04:17 PM (lf83v)
----
See Wikipedia for name 'origin'.

By the way, American Bologna does not taste like mortadella di Bologna, not even remotely. Around Rome there is some made with horse meat. My Mum used to tell me it was made with donkey meat, who knows it could have been true.

Posted by: Ciampino - I love mortadella at December 27, 2023 04:31 PM (qfLjt)

110 Girl spawn and I went to McDonald's for lunch last week. $18 for two meals. Seems like a few years ago I could get 3 meals for that amount.
Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at December 27, 2023 04:30 PM (cRrcX)

You must have bought cocktails with your lunch.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:31 PM (Gsmsg)

111 BUD closed at $64.87/share today, now within $2 of its YTD high. I bare my chest; shoot the messenger, and pray do aim true.
Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:26 PM (MvF+J)

Tranny cheerleaders NFL viewing also up.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:31 PM (ge7yh)

112 71 I always picture Rich Giamboni sounding a lot like a louder version of Steven Segal.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side
......

Steven Segal should try laying off the hoagies.
And cheeseburgers.
Posted by: wth at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (v0R5T)

Eh. He's old. Let him enjoy his last remaining years....

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at December 27, 2023 04:31 PM (xcxpd)

113 Touch my Italian sub, and I'll pull your spine and skull out of your body in on fucking piece.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:31 PM (gmo/4)

114 I like turkey and provolone …

Everything but the pepperoncini!!!

Ah well.

Posted by: Adriane the Looking Forward Cause Looking Backward is Too Painful Critic . . . at December 27, 2023 04:32 PM (4Winp)

115 Was getting a sandwich at local Pubix (FL) when some lady elbowed her way from the left, all the way down, against the counter.
"I need a hero here. I need a hero HERE!"

Person making my sandwich kind of looked at her and went in back. Came back with manager who looked and her, pointedly looked at a couple waiting in line behind me. Lady wasn't phased, apparently never heard of the concept of a line before, again demanded her "Hero, I need two heroes!"

He just kind of shrugged his shoulders and asked, "OK, what do you need you pushy scrunt?" (he may have just thought the last part). He probably figured it was easier to just get her taken care of and out of there and explaining queues to her.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 27, 2023 04:32 PM (cOq4q)

116 No retro will be complete without a reposting of the Kaboom post.

Posted by: Beartooth at December 27, 2023 04:32 PM (kxx6d)

117 Saw a guy post his bill from 5 Guys on Twitter yesterday. 3 cheeseburgers, 3 fries and 3 drinks. $55.
Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 04:28 PM (ZLI7S)

Who is going to eat a whole fry from 5 guys..? they fill the damn bag.

Posted by: Inogame at December 27, 2023 04:33 PM (53oGX)

118
WTF did you think those $15/hr salaries were coming from???
Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:30 PM (NeGkf)

It will be 20 dollars here in Commifornia come Jan.

Posted by: It's me donna at December 27, 2023 04:33 PM (n2vyf)

119 Nick's Hamburger Shop Brookings SD FTW!

Posted by: Prof. Barnum Wideload at December 27, 2023 04:31 PM (Pu5W6)

My son graduated from SDSU. I'd always make it a point to stop and eat a few hamburgers at Nick's when we visited him.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:34 PM (gmo/4)

120 We don't have to go down this road, Chester.

----------

I can't figure out if the touching hand belongs to a male, female, or tranny.

I was expecting this reference to be "Chesty" -- but of course that could also be ambiguous ...

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 04:34 PM (59/68)

121
Wait a minute. Wait just one minute here, Rich.

Dos this turkey and provolone hoagie have bacon and Ranch Dressing on it ?

Cuz if that turkey and provolone hoagie actually does not have bacon and Ranch Dressing on it, like a man, a real man would order it. then-

your friend ought to do you the favorite of picking up that weak, mewling, Kenny G of a turkey and provolone hoagie and get it filled with crispy, applewood smoked bacon and Ranch Dressing and the use it to slap the shit outta your pathetic hoagie ordering mug!!!!

Posted by: naturalfake at December 27, 2023 04:35 PM (nFnyb)

122 Basic: Crispy, seedy Italian bread; layers of thin sliced capicola, salami, ham, cheese, oil & vinegar-drenched shredded lettuce, fresh tomatoes, sliced onions, oregano, salt, pepper

Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now at December 27, 2023 04:35 PM (GshMh)

123 Kevin McHale Or I Will Take a Shit in Your Jeep.

IDK who McHale is or why a Jeep but it is funny.

Rich should do a training consultancy for our State Dept.

Posted by: DaveA at December 27, 2023 04:36 PM (FhXTo)

124 I just heard Gaston Glock is dead. Coincidentally I’ve been cleaning Glocks all afternoon, and still have a couple after supper. RIP, Mr. Perfection, you done good.

Posted by: Eromero at December 27, 2023 04:36 PM (NxC5+)

125 >>Had a lady on Facebook bitching about 3 hash browns at McDonald's costing $18.

>>WTF did you think those $15/hr salaries were coming from???

Pizza Hut announced yesterday it was laying off something like 1000 delivery drivers over the new $20/hour law in CA.

It's wonderful having economic morons running government.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 04:36 PM (ZLI7S)

126 WTF did you think those $15/hr salaries were coming from???
Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:30 PM (NeGkf)

It will be 20 dollars here in Commifornia come Jan.
Posted by: It's me donna

That's where the hash browns were. San Diego.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:36 PM (NeGkf)

127 I understand Rich getting psycho over a hoagie, but never Quizmos

eesh

Posted by: kallisto at December 27, 2023 04:36 PM (lboSL)

128 Turkey on a hoagie?

Bullsh*t!

This punk is a fraud.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo...liberal esthete at December 27, 2023 04:37 PM (Tt+PH)

129 Gabbagool!

Posted by: Silvio at December 27, 2023 04:37 PM (4I/2K)

130 135 Turkey on a hoagie?

Bullsh*t!

The only good turkey is one you roast yourself... Turkey lunch meat sucks

Posted by: It's me donna at December 27, 2023 04:38 PM (n2vyf)

131 101 94 >>>What the heck is a hoagie?

My local store has 'hoagie buns', but nary a hoagie anywhere to insert in said buns.

I assume the wild hoagie is related to the nauga, but less revered for its hide.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at December 27, 2023 04:27 PM (l8gTz)
----
When it's open season in Scotland it's fun trying to hunt and catch haggises in the wild.

Posted by: Ciampino - I use a large sporran to keep them at December 27, 2023 04:38 PM (qfLjt)

132 Saw a guy post his bill from 5 Guys on Twitter yesterday. 3 cheeseburgers, 3 fries and 3 drinks. $55.
Posted by: JackStraw

One of the many reasons I bought of bunch of rib roasts on sale last week for $7 a pound. I stop by each day, pick through them and get the ones with best marbleing visible on both ends. One time I didn't get one (all too lean), one time I got two.
Carved them up into 1" thick rib-eyes.

Regret not gettign a lean one to grind witht he tails from the prime ones. Could of had a bunch of prime rib burgers too.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 27, 2023 04:38 PM (cOq4q)

133 Posted by: Chickens Roosting at December 27, 2023 04:35 PM (pjPXZ)

I have to assume you scored low on an IQ test based on your argument.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:38 PM (ge7yh)

134 Quizno's were the Luck Strikes of hoagies - it's toasted.

Posted by: Oglebay at December 27, 2023 04:39 PM (ogTiX)

135 Just googled the Quizno rats. I think they're hilarious. Didn't see anything that would drive me away from the brand.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 04:39 PM (BdMk6)

136 It's me donna . Amish turkey lunch meat or Boar's Head. Pretty darn good.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at December 27, 2023 04:39 PM (2NHgQ)

137 Easy - and a good question. What is the "documentation" of IQ against achievement ? There is none. It's a standardized test - it measures, for some level, a subjective notion of age against score.

Let's say, for argument's sake, that Jews in Israel do score 115 - on this standardized test. Who fucking cares ? Are they smarter, as a group, because of that score ? Or is the score bullshit, because it doesn't measure potential in a real, predictable way ?

I'll answer the second part. No test measures potential in any real way. Because that would be the Holy Grail of Eugenics. The idea that you can simply measure, and apply it to a group, on something as simple as a standardized test.

But it sure is fun when your particular group scores well, ain't it ?
Posted by: Chickens Roosting
___________

First, I'm not even Jewish.

Second, you appear to be saying that the entire issue is not capable of any objective measurement. If so, you may well be right. But just say that if it's what you mean. Otherwise, debunk the 115.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 27, 2023 04:40 PM (Dm8we)

138 Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at December 27, 2023 04:39 PM (2NHgQ)

Boar's head is about 15 dollars a pound...

Posted by: It's me donna at December 27, 2023 04:40 PM (n2vyf)

139 Man, I miss Silk Stalkings. That whole late night USA into super cheesy Kung fu movies was a beautiful time.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 27, 2023 04:40 PM (z02D9)

140 RE: Line Cutters

Another Boston story. Standing in line at a Italian deli talking to a Statey, (Mass. State Policeman), a large, shiny black limo pulls up to the curb. Out get two guidos in very expensive suits and walk past everyone in line and go into the kitchen. We hear loud Italian voices and then a minute or so later the quidos walk out with paper bags and get in the limo and drive off. I looked at the cop and he just shook his head.

Posted by: Beartooth at December 27, 2023 04:40 PM (kxx6d)

141 Mayo on a hoagie is an abomination. It's oil and vinegar, you chump.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 27, 2023 04:41 PM (7Wh0T)

142 "I need a hero here. I need a hero HERE!"
___________

Very catchy. I like it.

"I need a hero."

Posted by: Bonnie Tyler at December 27, 2023 04:41 PM (lf83v)

143 IQ doesn't matter, but hey disparate impact means everything!

The nation spends too much time making individual activities team sports and team sports out of individual activities.

Education and achievement are races you run with yourself.

Posted by: sven at December 27, 2023 04:43 PM (X0I7i)

144 One of the many reasons I bought of bunch of rib roasts on sale last week for $7 a pound. I stop by each day, pick through them and get the ones with best marbleing visible on both ends. One time I didn't get one (all too lean), one time I got two.
Carved them up into 1" thick rib-eyes.

Regret not gettign a lean one to grind witht he tails from the prime ones. Could of had a bunch of prime rib burgers too.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

We do that with tenderloins. I'll cut up and vacuum, pack, a tenderloin, and then, when I get down to the end, that's too small to make a good steak, I'll dice it up vacuum packet and save it. After about three of them, will take them out and turn them in to Either stew, meat, or chili

Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 04:44 PM (NeGkf)

145 Of course, the only sammich worth fighting over is the Cuban Sandwich. Let Tom Russell tell you all about it:

https://youtu.be/cbJN92MlieU

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 27, 2023 04:44 PM (tkR6S)

146 Shrooms and a typewriter Ace was always a winning Ace.

Posted by: Rbastid at December 27, 2023 04:44 PM (gwTJ4)

147 Easy - and a good question. What is the "documentation" of IQ against achievement ? There is none. It's a standardized test - it measures, for some level, a subjective notion of age against score.
Let's say, for argument's sake, that Jews in Israel do score 115 - on this standardized test. Who fucking cares ? Are they smarter, as a group, because of that score ? Or is the score bullshit, because it doesn't measure potential in a real, predictable way ?
I'll answer the second part. No test measures potential in any real way. Because that would be the Holy Grail of Eugenics....
But it sure is fun when your particular group scores well, ain't it ?
Posted by: Chickens Roosting

First, I'm not even Jewish.

Second, you appear to be saying that the entire issue is not capable of any objective measurement. If so, you may well be right. But just say that if it's what you mean. Otherwise, debunk the 115.
Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 27, 2023 04:40 PM (Dm8we)

Wait a minute! Wait just a minute here?

Would guys with 115 IQ order a turkey and provolone hoagie with bacon and Ranch Dressing or without bacon and Ranch Dressing?

Cuz that's the crux of the argument here, isn't it?

Posted by: naturalfake at December 27, 2023 04:45 PM (nFnyb)

148 I saw a post the other day of a McDonalds Big Mac on a plate. Next to it was a Chapstick.

The Chapstick was about as long as the Big Mac was wide. Seriously. And it had to be the sorriest looking Big Mac I've seen in quite a while.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 27, 2023 04:45 PM (Q4IgG)

149 2004 seems like five years ago.

God, I'm old.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 27, 2023 04:45 PM (lf83v)

150 Respectable hoagies come from a deli, hoagie shop, maybe a pizzeria. Would have never been a Quiznos and regulars weren't getting turkey and cheese back then.

Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now at December 27, 2023 04:45 PM (GshMh)

151 Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 27, 2023 04:40 PM (Dm8we)

He's a troll. Don't waste your breath.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo...liberal esthete at December 27, 2023 04:46 PM (Tt+PH)

152 The Italian kids I knew in Junior High School had mustaches just like Giambini. So did their moms

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:46 PM (x42Y3)

153 I don't know exactly what IQ tests measure, but we have 100 years of that data now; maybe the most extensive dataset in all of the social sciences. I do know fer sure (don't ask how) that having a high IQ is no guarantee against being a lifelong fuckup.

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:47 PM (MvF+J)

154 Toasted Subs >> Non toasted hoagies

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:47 PM (ge7yh)

155 127
"your friend ought to do you the favorite of picking up that weak, mewling, Kenny G of a turkey and provolone hoagie and get it filled with crispy, applewood smoked bacon and Ranch Dressing and the use it to slap the shit outta your pathetic hoagie ordering mug!!!!"

Posted by: naturalfake at December 27, 2023 04:35 PM (nFnyb) ----
If you were to do that to my mortadella or prosciutto and cheese sandwich, I would get my lupara and fill your ass with holes. You may like bacon but it swamps all other flavors. Smoking it is worse. Ranch dressing is for when your food is tasteless. The only dressing you need, if you really must have one, is a small drizzle of olive oil and maybe a squirt of vinegar.

Posted by: Ciampino - Lupara is better than a Rolex at December 27, 2023 04:48 PM (qfLjt)

156
...misty water colored memories....of the way we were.

Posted by: Frank Barone at December 27, 2023 04:48 PM (+oR7L)

157 I've sworn off sandwiches and only eat cheese wraps.

My waist size is down and I am making gainzzz.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 27, 2023 04:49 PM (cf/0E)

158 Wow, it's me donna. That's expensive, not nearly that here. For just the two of us it's the way to go. Buy 1/2 pound and we're good to go. If you have an Amish store check them out. Much lower price, here at least.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at December 27, 2023 04:49 PM (2NHgQ)

159 There is no sammich worth fighting over.

However, a Taco from the local Taco truck is a different story.

Of course, let's not forget the "looks like a drug deal going down" tamales from the trunk of a battered Chevy in a deserted parking lot.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at December 27, 2023 04:49 PM (tT6L1)

160
I like a good stromboli better.

Posted by: Frank Barone at December 27, 2023 04:50 PM (+oR7L)

161 "Is a hotdog a hoagie?"

/Obligatory Goldberg

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 04:50 PM (59/68)

162 66
The biggest "what in the name of pan-fried idiocy" business collapse IMO is Sears. They had it all. Stores, a thriving catalog business...

And then out of nowhere comes Amazon.

I mean, yeah, Amazon hurt Borders and Barnes and Noble and the like too, but Sears was yuuuuge.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at December 27, 2023 04:20 PM (l8gTz)

Yep, Sears had the whole backend order fulfillment operation in place along with local stores and service centers, all they needed was the frontend customer order web interface, and Amazon would just be a river in South America today.

Instead Sears screwed around with insurance, credit cards, investment advisors and all the other silly crap they were into in the 80's and 90's, and now they're as dead as RadioShack.

Posted by: BillyD at December 27, 2023 04:50 PM (F6Xpw)

163 Very catchy. I like it.

"I need a hero."
Posted by: Bonnie Tyler at December 27, 2023 04:41 PM (lf83v)

Billy, don't buy a hero
Don't be a fool with your life

Posted by: Paper Lace at December 27, 2023 04:50 PM (Gsmsg)

164 I do know fer sure (don't ask how) that having a high IQ is no guarantee against being a lifelong fuckup.
Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:47 PM (MvF+J)

I think the opposite also holds true for the most part. A low IQ rarely produces a very successful person.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:50 PM (ge7yh)

165 Back In The Day some posts here were done by an actual foul-mouthed sandwich. I forget what his name was though. Fun times.

Posted by: No Shirt Shylock at December 27, 2023 04:50 PM (PWI4f)

166 Off campus of UICC back in 1971, there was a corner store called Fontana's that made the very best italian subs conceived by the minds and hands of mankind.

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:50 PM (MvF+J)

167 Back In The Day some posts here were done by an actual foul-mouthed sandwich. I forget what his name was though. Fun times.
Posted by: No Shirt Shylock at December 27, 2023 04:50 PM (PWI4f)

Johnny Coldcuts!

Yeah, we should have a column by him.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 27, 2023 04:52 PM (nFnyb)

168 Do you sous vide hoagies?

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:52 PM (x42Y3)

169 The best subs or grinders come from mom and pop delis, not corporate bullshit franchises.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:52 PM (gmo/4)

170 Revenge is like cold cuts.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 27, 2023 04:52 PM (7Wh0T)

171 Toasted 'hoagies' are called Grinders in Philly region.

They often are eggplant, veal parm, chicken parm, meatball, regular hoagie, chicken cutlet, etc.

Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (GshMh)

172 Do you sous vide hoagies?

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:52 PM (x42Y3)

Hoagies? No. Hobos? Yes.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (gmo/4)

173 Look up Jordan Peterson's video about IQ. Quite eye opening.

Dr Peterson lays out what is known about IQ and success quite well.

"The Bell Curve" is another excellent resource on the subject.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (tT6L1)

174 The best subs or grinders come from mom and pop delis, not corporate bullshit franchises.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:52 PM (gmo/4)

Jersey Mike's ain't too bad.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (ge7yh)

175 I've sworn off sandwiches and only eat cheese wraps.

My waist size is down and I am making gainzzz.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 27, 2023 04:49 PM (cf/0E)

------------

When I'm keto dieting and OMAD intermittent fasting, I'll eat a non-carbo sandwich of some kind of sliced deli meat between two "buns" consisting of several slices of some kind of cheese.

Gets old quick, but always guarantees GAINZZZZ!

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 04:54 PM (59/68)

176 163 Sears got Big-HQ-itis, blowing $$$ building the Sears Tower, then quickly moving to a brand new $$$ big campus in the burbs. They also subcontracted their home appliance services out to unvetted flybynighters, and service quality suffered mightily.

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:54 PM (MvF+J)

177 To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some kind of weird sandwich, not some nut that goes up against three tigers.

Posted by: Oddball at December 27, 2023 04:55 PM (gmo/4)

178 153 Posted by: Low IQ at December 27, 2023 04:47 PM (fpfYe)

Yup, being credentialed without scholarship and a humble demeanor means sweet fuck all.

That we have a cult of credential does not mean it is sane, warranted, or optimal.

Posted by: sven at December 27, 2023 04:55 PM (X0I7i)

179 Pizza Hut used to have to toasted subs on their menu in the 70's. I loved them.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:56 PM (ge7yh)

180 Education and achievement are races you run with yourself.

Nope.

I mean, I get it. I feel the same. But that's not how certain parts of the country see it.

It's all about credentialism. Shall we point out the regions ?
Posted by: Low IQ at December 27, 2023 04:47 PM (fpfYe)

Credentulism didn't start in the universities. It was started by want-ads in the papers by high-paying
businesses wanting only college grads.

It's the reason I went back to college at age 35.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 04:56 PM (BdMk6)

181 Toasted 'hoagies' are called Grinders in Philly region.

They often are eggplant, veal parm, chicken parm, meatball, regular hoagie, chicken cutlet, etc.
Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (GshMh)

In New Hampshire they also called them grinders and don't forget to order your frap

Posted by: Beartooth at December 27, 2023 04:56 PM (kxx6d)

182 I'm thinking a couple new nics weren't invited to any of the festivities protesting against Israel. So we have the pleasure of their company for the afternoon. Yay, us.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at December 27, 2023 04:56 PM (2NHgQ)

183 Jersey Mike's ain't too bad.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (ge7yh)

Yes. Jersey Mike's is the best of the bad.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:56 PM (gmo/4)

184 This underwear-clad blonde doesn't want to know what a "Cleveland Steamer" is:

-
Do the schools teach nothing these days?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 27, 2023 04:57 PM (FVME7)

185 I enjoyed the salame, prosciutto, mortadella, pancetta subs I would buy for lunch at a deli near the lab in Kendall Square, Cambridge, MA back in 1974-5. Really good and run by Italians.

Posted by: Ciampino - Lupara is a shotgun at December 27, 2023 04:57 PM (qfLjt)

186 Yes, Johnny Coldcuts! There used to be quite the Rogues Gallery here at AoS.

Posted by: No Shirt Shylock at December 27, 2023 04:57 PM (PWI4f)

187 The best subs or grinders come from mom and pop delis, not corporate bullshit franchises.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:52 PM (gmo/4)

Jersey Mike's ain't too bad.
Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (ge7yh)

Noted for future reference. Say about 4 more months.

Posted by: Jussie Smollett at December 27, 2023 04:57 PM (4I/2K)

188 183 Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 04:56 PM (BdMk6)

Allow me to introduce Griggs v Duke Power or "how business was forced to pretend going 80 grand into debt was a good indicator of raw intelligence."

Posted by: sven at December 27, 2023 04:58 PM (X0I7i)

189 184. In New Hampshire they also called them grinders and don't forget to order your frap
Posted by: Beartooth

What is a frap?

Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now at December 27, 2023 04:58 PM (GshMh)

190 For the average American, I think EQ gets you farther than IQ. Be nice to everybody you meet, suck up to powerful people whenever necessary, and just show up on time, and you'll do fine.

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:58 PM (MvF+J)

191 Used to hit a mom and pop joint that had the best hot ham and cheese sandwiches. Not subs, just a regular sandwich with hot, shaved ham, Swiss cheese, mayo and lettuce on toasted bread.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 27, 2023 04:59 PM (Q4IgG)

192 SHOCK: 1 in 5 young Americans have a positive view of Osama bin Laden

-
Well, austere religious scholar.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 27, 2023 04:59 PM (FVME7)

193 I like Jersey Mike's. My favorite sandwich there is a "secret menu" item called the 99. It's just a Big Kahuna cheese steak with chipotle mayo.

Posted by: No Shirt Shylock at December 27, 2023 04:59 PM (PWI4f)

194 Rich looks a bit like the late Dick Butkus in his younger days.

Posted by: Rex B at December 27, 2023 04:59 PM (jn9fL)

195 Yes. Jersey Mike's is the best of the bad.
Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:56 PM (gmo/4)

A Jersey Mike's regular-sized sandwich runs about $13, not counting tax and tip. They're not cheap but they are great sandwiches. Try the #9 Club Supreme!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:59 PM (Gsmsg)

196 >>> In New Hampshire they also called them grinders and don't forget to order your frap
Posted by: Beartooth

What is a frap?
Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now

Related to frothy baby batter?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 27, 2023 04:59 PM (cOq4q)

197 eating bugs instead of meat

-
With the flick of a pen, NYC is transformed from a vermin infested shit hole to an urban ranch!
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 27, 2023 05:00 PM (FVME7)

198 193 Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:58 PM (MvF+J)

Lt Worf Star Command was said to have high EQ to try to excuse her retardation in her thesis and to hide the shame in giving her a make work job kicking people out of ERs.

EQ is special needs measuring for self-esteem.

Posted by: sven at December 27, 2023 05:00 PM (X0I7i)

199 Do you sous vide hoagies?

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 27, 2023 04:52 PM (x42Y3)

Hoagies? No. Hobos? Yes.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (gmo/4)

-------------

When I went to school and later lived & worked nearby in Palo Alto (which we jokingly called Shallow Alto), there was a must-eat weekend breakfast restaurant -- especially when visiting with friends or family -- called Hobee's.

They had this warm blueberry killer coffee cake (with optional butter). Yummy ...

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 05:01 PM (Kdaed)

200 Jersey Mike's ain't too bad.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 04:53 PM (ge7yh)

Yes. Jersey Mike's is the best of the bad.
Posted by: Archer

Jersey Mike's can suck sweaty balls. How the fuck do you run out of white bread at dinner time?
"I'm sorry, all we have left is wheat hoagie bread".

Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 05:01 PM (NeGkf)

201 194 Used to hit a mom and pop joint that had the best hot ham and cheese sandwiches. Not subs, just a regular sandwich with hot, shaved ham, Swiss cheese, mayo and lettuce on toasted bread.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 27, 2023 04:59 PM (Q4IgG)

I have a theory that sandwiches and salads taste better when someone else makes them.
That sandwich sounds good.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 27, 2023 05:02 PM (QuqX7)

202
What is a frap?
Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now at December 27, 2023 04:58 PM (GshMh)

A frappe is what normal people call a milkshake. A milkshake is just chocolate milk from my time living in New Hampshire.

Posted by: Beartooth at December 27, 2023 05:02 PM (kxx6d)

203 My best friend/best man has a very modest IQ, along with owning his own hydrology consulting company (20 employees, most with advanced degrees) as well as one of the largest arrowhead/Native American artifacts in the country.

Posted by: Oglebay at December 27, 2023 05:02 PM (ogTiX)

204 Virginia Tech vs Tulane. Like watching a football game through a waterfall. Both teams may drown on the field.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at December 27, 2023 05:02 PM (2NHgQ)

205 201 And see how successful she is. Far far richer than I ever was or ever will be.

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 05:02 PM (MvF+J)

206 The thing I found most interesting about The Bell Curve is that-

While men and women have the same mean IQ, the women's bell curve is "pointer" than the men's Bell curve which s flatter.

ie. There are more women of average intelligence, which makes total sense, since women in general are the caretakers of their children and so have to have a certain level of smarts for that job.

And their Bell Curve reflects that, can be too dumb to0 do the job but don't need to be too smart either.

Men's Bell Curve being flatter means that guys can be sexually successful at almost any level of IQ unit you get to be too smart(!) or too dumb. So, brainy and rich, you're rolling in poon. But, also stupidest and muscley, you're rolling in beaver.

Evolution's a crazy old thing, ain't it?

Posted by: naturalfake at December 27, 2023 05:02 PM (nFnyb)

207 Jersey Mike's can suck sweaty balls. How the fuck do you run out of white bread at dinner time?

White bread? Who eats that shit?
Are you Pat Boone?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 05:02 PM (Gsmsg)

208 If you don't want to be credentialed and are good at what you do , used to be you could start your own business and succeed or fail. Now there are a lot more roadblocks to starting a business than there used to be.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 05:02 PM (ge7yh)

209 Whichwich has been screwing with their order bags lately and I don't like it!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 27, 2023 05:03 PM (FVME7)

210 "Charlie's cheese steaks" opened nearby.
Not good. VERY good! Spendy though, $16 for largest version of their "old school" version.

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at December 27, 2023 05:03 PM (cZ6oU)

211 unit = until

*kicks rock*

Posted by: naturalfake at December 27, 2023 05:03 PM (nFnyb)

212 >>In New Hampshire they also called them grinders and don't forget to order your frap

When we were moving from NJ to MA when I was a kid we were looking at houses with my folks and stopped for lunch at a little sandwich shop. I ordered a milkshake. I got shaken milk. No bueno.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 05:03 PM (ZLI7S)

213 The Pickle Barrel.

Montanans will know what I'm talking about.

Posted by: Sasquatch, the Original Trans-Wookie at December 27, 2023 05:04 PM (xxG/v)

214 For the average American, I think EQ gets you farther than IQ. Be nice to everybody you meet, suck up to powerful people whenever necessary, and just show up on time, and you'll do fine.
Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 04:58 PM (MvF+J)

Had an uncle tell me once that a little brown on the nose will turn to gold in the pocket. Decent advice.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 05:04 PM (BdMk6)

215 Except only homos say “hoagie”! It’s a “hero,” guys.

Posted by: Elric Blade at December 27, 2023 05:05 PM (h9L9B)

216 >>>A Jersey Mike's regular-sized sandwich runs about $13, not counting tax and tip. They're not cheap but they are great sandwiches. Try the #9 Club Supreme!
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 04:59 PM (Gsmsg)

=====

Wow. Three hours west of Chicago here. Had the Club Supreme today. $9.65. Up from $8.95 just a week ago.

Posted by: Turn 2 at December 27, 2023 05:06 PM (JfxgE)

217 I worked in Manhattan when someone got the nuanced and bright idea that what the world really needs is smaller sandwiches (aka, the panini craze).

The hilarious thing about it was that one of my co-workers was a hardline Italian from South Philly. You know the type...there is no sauce on spaghetts...it's freakin gravy.

He went ballistic when everyone starting serving paninis. "Fvcking farm worker food. I'd need three of these to make a dent. New Yorkers rot worse than an Irishman's pasta. This should fvcking be illegal."

Dude made me laugh every damn day.

Posted by: Orson at December 27, 2023 05:06 PM (dIske)

218 While men and women have the same mean IQ, the women's bell curve is "pointer" than the men's Bell curve which s flatter.

-
Darwin is a bitch.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 27, 2023 05:06 PM (FVME7)

219 >>>3 cheeseburgers, 3 fries and 3 drinks. $55.
~~~~~

NJ Five Guys: 1 cheeseburger, 1 little cheeseburger, 1 small fries, 2 drinks, 1 milkshake: $43

Posted by: IrishEi at December 27, 2023 05:06 PM (NnyUq)

220 The Pickle Barrel.

Montanans will know what I'm talking about.
Posted by: Sasquatch, the Original Trans-Wookie at December 27, 2023 05:04 PM (xxG/v)

YES!

Posted by: Beartooth at December 27, 2023 05:07 PM (kxx6d)

221 White bread? Who eats that shit?
Are you Pat Boone?

Uh, the last literally hole in the wall, on the sidewalk BBQ joint in Oakland served white bread especially with hot links.

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at December 27, 2023 05:07 PM (cZ6oU)

222 Had an uncle tell me once that a little brown on the nose will turn to gold in the pocket. Decent advice.
Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 05:04 PM (BdMk6)
-----

I think it's more a matter of understanding if you're not the boss, you best be polite to the person who signs your check.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at December 27, 2023 05:07 PM (tT6L1)

223 No hats indoors has nothing to do with old or new money. It goes back to medieval times when knights were bold and wore helmets.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 05:07 PM (ZLI7S)

224 We had a local Italian Family Deli, and as a teenager I became addicted to their meatball sandwiches with mozzarella.

This thread has my stomach growling ...

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 05:07 PM (5LoLC)

225 He probably figured it was easier to just get her taken care of and out of there and explaining queues to her.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 27, 2023 04:32 PM (cOq4q)

That's why people like that keep on doing that. They don't care if everybody else in line despises them for it--it's more important to them to get what they want. And f**k all the rest of y'all.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at December 27, 2023 05:09 PM (OX9vb)

226 Joseph Glidden . One of my 6th grade history memories along with memorizing all 50 state capitals. My brain must have switched to memory mode when I was 11 .

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 05:09 PM (ge7yh)

227 >>NJ Five Guys: 1 cheeseburger, 1 little cheeseburger, 1 small fries, 2 drinks, 1 milkshake: $43

They are better than most chains but I don't think they are that much better.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 05:10 PM (ZLI7S)

228 This is before my time
Nice article

Posted by: Skip at December 27, 2023 05:10 PM (fwDg9)

229 205. A frappe is what normal people call a milkshake.

Thank you! There's nothing like a good milkshake, too! And, yes, like Water Ice - and hoagies - we have our special sites.

I remember being in Pittsburgh decades ago and was offered chip-chop ham BBQ sandwich and pop. What could that be, I wondered. (I felt as if I were in a foreign country.) Heh.

Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear, they only need to outrun us - for now at December 27, 2023 05:10 PM (GshMh)

230 Oh, and if you can find a Schlotzky's in your area definitely try them out. Most of their sandwiches are toasted and are really good. Try the Original: ham, two kinds of salami, moz and cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and finely chopped marinated black olives and mustard on their in-store made sourdough bread rounds. If you're really hungry get the deluxe where they double the meat.

Posted by: No Shirt Shylock at December 27, 2023 05:10 PM (PWI4f)

231 3 cheeseburgers, 3 fries and 3 drinks. $55.
~~~~~

NJ Five Guys: 1 cheeseburger, 1 little cheeseburger, 1 small fries, 2 drinks, 1 milkshake: $43
Posted by: IrishEi

$15/hr is gonna cost you. We tried to warn everyone.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 27, 2023 05:11 PM (NeGkf)

232 Lighten up, Francis.

(Gawd, I can't believe no one said that yet!)

Posted by: go get your fuckin shine box at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (kvDvI)

233 Now I want a meatball grinder.

Posted by: Archer at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (gmo/4)

234 >>And that's why every old person told me to take off my hat, in the 70s and 80s ? Because they were simply observing the medieval custom ?

>>Bullshit.

I don't care if you think it's bullshit or not. The tradition of removing you hat started back in medieval times because the helmets hid faces. You think the military had a custom or removing headgear because of money?

It spread to include the church and other institutions but it started way back when. Not everything is a conspiracy of the coastal rich out to screw Joe You.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (ZLI7S)

235 I'd be happy with about any sandwich shop, chain or otherwise if their actual sandwiches, subs, whatever actually looked like the ones being advertised.

They seldom come close.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (Q4IgG)

236 Had an uncle tell me once that a little brown on the nose will turn to gold in the pocket. Decent advice.
Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 05:04 PM (BdMk6)
-----

My office in the 80's used to dress up for Halloween. I hated it and always tried to come up with a minimal 'costume'. One year I just used some make up to make my nose brown.

Posted by: Drive by at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (ge7yh)

237 White bread? Who eats that shit?
Are you Pat Boone?

Uh, the last literally hole in the wall, on the sidewalk BBQ joint in Oakland served white bread especially with hot links.

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at December 27, 2023 05:07 PM (cZ6oU)

-------------

Worked in downtown Oakland off and on throughout the 90s, and used to walk over to this sandwich shop (run by an Asian family, probably Chinese, IIRC).

Their homemade bread was really sweet and tasty -- unusual but again addictive for a sweet tooth like me; I always wondered what their recipe was ...

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (5LoLC)

238 knights were bold and wore helmets.
Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 05:07 PM (ZLI7S)
----

Didn't work out so well for us....

Posted by: Muslims what met Vlad at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (tT6L1)

239 I make meatball subs for myself at home

Italian sub roll, open face with provolone cheese slices and a little olive oil, melt the cheese under the broiler, add marinara sauce and meatballs, slam it shut, enjoy

Posted by: Don Black at December 27, 2023 05:13 PM (geLO8)

240
Muffuletta > All other sandwiches

Posted by: naturalfake at December 27, 2023 05:14 PM (nFnyb)

241 Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (ZLI7S)

My favorite little Medieval contribution to society was letting women enter a doorway first, and the real reason behind such....heh....courtesy.

Posted by: Orson at December 27, 2023 05:14 PM (dIske)

242 Trans nood.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 27, 2023 05:15 PM (IaTa3)

243 I think it was Tamerlane who taught a couple of envoys a lesson when they failed to remove their hats in his presence. He had them nailed to their heads.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 27, 2023 05:15 PM (Gsmsg)

244 I do know fer sure (don't ask how) that having a high IQ is no guarantee against being a lifelong fuckup.
Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead

Boy, do I feel that.

Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at December 27, 2023 05:15 PM (/QIWP)

245 A nice toasted white bread slathered in butter and topped with an over easy egg.

Good stuff.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at December 27, 2023 05:15 PM (tT6L1)

246 Got some BK coupons in the mail. Two chix sandwiches and two fries for $7. Best of the bad fastfood deals right now. However, BKs are almost extinct here, very run-down, their infrastructure like driveup speakers and cash registers broken down, and it seems like they can't keep an employee longer than a week.

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 05:15 PM (MvF+J)

247 nood

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 05:16 PM (MvF+J)

248 That was Vlad The Impaler

Posted by: Don Black at December 27, 2023 05:16 PM (geLO8)

249 Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (ZLI7S)

Scogg is still miffed by things said to him 40 years ago

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 27, 2023 05:17 PM (RSbhh)

250 I'd be happy with about any sandwich shop, chain or otherwise if their actual sandwiches, subs, whatever actually looked like the ones being advertised.

They seldom come close.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (Q4IgG)

Exactly.

Posted by: D Fens at Whammy Burger at December 27, 2023 05:17 PM (4I/2K)

251 If you touch my turkey and provolone while I'm making this split pea and ham soup, I will grind your knuckles into a thickener that I will ferment for my 15-bean, Cajun sausage soup. Try me.

Winter is when all good cooks, not mamby-pamby chefs, but legitimate cooks render animals for broth.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at December 27, 2023 05:17 PM (J3ryZ)

252 Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2023 05:12 PM (ZLI7S)

The 'no white after Labor Day' was originally practical as well when coal was used for most heating. Now that we have consistent clean heating and cooling it's easy to see old habits as random.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at December 27, 2023 05:18 PM (nC+QA)

253 And that's why every old person told me to take off my hat, in the 70s and 80s ? Because they were simply observing the medieval custom ?

Bullshit.
Posted by: Low IQ at December 27, 2023 05:09 PM (fpfYe)

I've come to believe that taking your hat off indoors is practicing good manners. And when it comes to cowboy hats it just being considerate of others in close proximity.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 05:19 PM (BdMk6)

254 Do fast food at home, made a meatball grinder last week

Posted by: Skip at December 27, 2023 05:20 PM (fwDg9)

255 Oh, and if you can find a Schlotzky's in your area definitely try them out. Most of their sandwiches are toasted and are really good.

---------

Wifey loves their bread/buns (hey, that's also what she likes about me!); since we escaped Califzuela a decade ago (none where we now live), have only been to one once on a trip down to Phoenix.

Posted by: ShainS -- I saw the Crotch Goblins open for Poetic Ammo at December 27, 2023 05:21 PM (z5Xx7)

256 It is times like this we need the wisdom of Rich "Psycho" Giamboni.

Posted by: Mark in South Jordan UT at December 27, 2023 05:22 PM (rplLg)

257 Posted by: Low IQ at December 27, 2023 05:21 PM (fpfYe)

You sound very Gen-Z..ish.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 05:25 PM (BdMk6)

258 Isn't hoagie a South Jersey thing from the Taylor ham and egg crowd.
Posted by: Marcus T at December 27, 2023 04:09 PM (A1aWg)

It's a fuckin' pork roll!!

Posted by: Joe Pesci at December 27, 2023 05:25 PM (iODuv)

259 Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 27, 2023 05:25 PM (BdMk6)

More like Generation X- born1965-80 if it's Scogg Dog.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 27, 2023 05:36 PM (RSbhh)

260 I am still impressed with Sbarros meatballs.

Posted by: Puddinhead at December 27, 2023 05:38 PM (/UtnQ)

261 I always thought Jack M. wrote this old tale of woe.

Posted by: 13times at December 27, 2023 05:52 PM (Df1rq)

262 Chalet Market in Billings, MT

Posted by: free tibet at December 27, 2023 06:30 PM (iNp3L)

263 LOL! Gold from the AOSHQ Vaults

Posted by: Ex GOP at December 27, 2023 06:46 PM (qS8WV)

264 If he's referring to a Jersey Mike's turkey and provolone, I get it. I'd kill a motherfucker that touched mine. Terminate with extreme prejudice.

Posted by: Mr. Guest at December 27, 2023 09:05 PM (wC344)

265 247 nood

Posted by: Apply gp Directly To Forehead at December 27, 2023 05:16 PM (MvF+J)

Does this apply to the new nood or the nood from 19 years ago???

Posted by: Tex Lovera at December 27, 2023 09:15 PM (HfzR0)

266 I'm thinking

You should lay off the "MUSCLE BULK TESTERONE MILK SHAKES!!

Unless you do not want to have KIDNEYS in your later life.

Posted by: Nightwatch at December 27, 2023 09:31 PM (TDvv2)

267 How about “The Donkey”, about Michael Moore?
That one had me in tears…
And I need a new shirt, by the way…
Someone made off with my “begin slitting throats” Ace of Spades shirt many years ago…

Posted by: UncleJefe at December 27, 2023 10:01 PM (SV1ta)

268 Celebrating 20 years of Rich, still my favorite contributor, hope you run some more! now where's my hoagie...

Posted by: Phineasphogg at December 28, 2023 06:53 AM (qjDcG)

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