Amusing: Someone Wrote an Unauthorized Fanfic "Sequel" to <i>The Lord of the Rings</i>, and Then Sued Amazon for Copying It in Their own Fanfic "Rings of Power" Prequel

Amusing: Someone Wrote an Unauthorized Fanfic "Sequel" to The Lord of the Rings, and Then Sued Amazon for Copying It in Their own Fanfic "Rings of Power" Prequel

To be honest, I bet the plagiarized book is better than Rings of Power, which itself is just copying Tolkein plus a Diversity Hustle.

But they did pay a huge sum of money to make this piece of crap, so they're legally in the right.

Amazon and the Tolkien estate have emerged victorious in a multi-pronged legal battle over "The Lord of the Rings" franchise.
In April author Demetrious Polychron published a book called "The Fellowship of the King" which he claimed was a sequel to "The Lord of the Rings." He planned for the book to be the first in a seven-part series.

The Fellowship of the King, LOL.

The author then filed suit against both Amazon and the Tolkien estate, claiming the streaming series "The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power" had borrowed from his sequel and infringed his copyright.
It can now be reported for the first time that a California judge summarily dismissed Polychron's lawsuit with prejudice in August.

The Tolkien estate then countersued the author for infringing on their copyright. A U.S. district judge found in the estate's favor this fall, granting them a permanent injunction to prevent Polychron from "copying distributing, selling, performing, displaying or otherwise exploiting" his book or its sequel, titled "The Two Trees." The author was also ordered to destroy all physical and electronic copies of the works.

The Two Trees, LOL. He's barely even trying. (The Two Trees are in fact an important part of the ancient history of Middle Earth -- I think they shed the equivalent of sunlight and starlight when the earth was flat and there was no sun.)

Closing the chapter on this saga, a California judge has now handed down a costs order, instructing Polychron to pay $134,637 in attorney's fees to both Amazon and Tolkien. In making the order, Judge Steven V. Wilson noted the "fantasticality" of the Polychron's claim for copyright protection given his book is entirely based on characters in "The Lord of the Rings," calling it "unreasonable" and "frivolous from the beginning."

Wait, what was the last book called? I hope it was "The Return of the Ring."

In Disney Dystopia news, the new Marvel woke content featuring a diverse disabled female shero looks so good you guys.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 04:50 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 st

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 05, 2024 04:53 PM (DRSnL)

2 Lol. Consultant is getting fired. Totally misread the room.

Ohio’s Republican governor, Mike DeWine, signed an “emergency” executive order Friday banning transgender surgeries for minors, one week after he vetoed a bill that would have had a similar effect.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at January 05, 2024 04:54 PM (lu1XB)

3 Have fun!

Posted by: L - They don't have to outrun the bear. They only have to outrun us - for now at January 05, 2024 04:54 PM (GshMh)

4 I heard there was also a new Harry Potter book out about an Irish elf. It's called Dobby Mick.

Posted by: Archimedes at January 05, 2024 04:55 PM (CsUN+)

5 Tolkien did start a sequel to The Lord of the Rings. He got something like a chapter and a half into it before he gave up because it depressed him so much.

It was set about 80 years after The Return of the King after this extended time of peace in Middle-Earth.

A character discovers that his son has joined a cult that worships orcs and thinks that the humans were unjust against them.

I think it was remarkably prescient, and I've wanted to steal the idea ever since I read about it. It was called The New Shadow.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 04:55 PM (GBKbO)

6
Demetrious Polychron

Archimedes Plutonium, is that you?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 04:55 PM (xG4kz)

7 Cat Ass. If I'm reading the reporting on the bill he banned the surgeries, not the drugs. He should have banned both if true.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at January 05, 2024 04:56 PM (2NHgQ)

8 Demetrious Polychron?!

"The Fellowship of the King"?!

Seriously bro?! Bwahahahah

Posted by: Deleterious Megachron at January 05, 2024 04:56 PM (AD14M)

9 Book Five.

The Return of the Enthousewives

Posted by: Just Lily at January 05, 2024 04:56 PM (+YwOR)

10 I hear they race-swapped Sauron for Season 2 of Amazon's "Rings of Power."

Oddly, this doesn't bother me that much since the original lore confirms that Sauron was quite the shape-shifter before he lost the ability to take human form (part of his punishment, I think).

He used that ability to deceive the Numenoreans, leading to their downfall.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 04:56 PM (7fElN)

11 Did Claudine Gay write that?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2024 04:56 PM (63Dwl)

12 The New Shadow is one of those unwritten books like Dostoevsky's sequel to The Brothers Karamazov that just fascinates me to no end.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 04:56 PM (GBKbO)

13 He planned for the book to be the first in a seven-part series.

Writers. Don't do this.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (IG4Id)

14 Was it 'Trek to Kraggen-Cor'? Cuz that was just fan fiction.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (xcxpd)

15 13 He planned for the book to be the first in a seven-part series.

Writers. Don't do this.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (IG4Id)

========

Ever since Harry Potter became a seven book series, it's what all wannabe fantasy writers do.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (GBKbO)

16 Lol. Consultant is getting fired. Totally misread the room.

Ohio’s Republican governor, Mike DeWine, signed an “emergency” executive order Friday banning transgender surgeries for minors, one week after he vetoed a bill that would have had a similar effect.

I just read an article about this, and for the life of me, I can't figure out what he thought he was doing.

http://tinyurl.com/4kp9yz3x

However, it was pointed out at the end that "Republican presidential candidates condemned DeWine’s veto. Former President Donald Trump said DeWine had “fallen to the Radical Left,” while Gov. Ron DeSantis, R-Fla., urged the Ohio Legislature to “override the veto done by Trump-endorsed Gov. DeWine.” Entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy said, “Shame on DeWine.”

Well, DJT, was your endorsement an error or not?

Posted by: Archimedes at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (CsUN+)

17 So, you're saying that my book, the Return of the Bling is probably not going to get me anywhere?

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (lTGtQ)

18 Imagine this: a modern-day retelling of LOTR, only all the characters are hip-hop "musicians".

Title: The Fellowship of the Bling

Posted by: Amazon Pitch Meeting at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (W5ArC)

19 The Tolkien estate then countersued the author for infringing on their copyright. A U.S. district judge found in the estate's favor this fall, granting them a permanent injunction to prevent Polychron from "copying distributing, selling, performing, displaying or otherwise exploiting" his book or its sequel, titled "The Two Trees." The author was also ordered to destroy all physical and electronic copies of the works.
++++
Yup, this was obvious from the start. Even if Amazon did him dirty by stealing his fan fic, his fan fic was an IP violation in the first place the moment he monetized it.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (WkNQM)

20
Did Claudine Gay write that?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr

What didn't she write, besides her own letter of resignation?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (xG4kz)

21 He planned for the book to be the first in a seven-part series.

Writers. Don't do this.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (IG4Id)
---
Listen to this guy! He knows what he's talking about!

Posted by: George R. R. Martin at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (7fElN)

22 > Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (lTGtQ)

Snap!

Posted by: Amazon Pitch Meeting at January 05, 2024 04:58 PM (W5ArC)

23 Or maybe we're talking about 'The Sword of Shanarra'?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at January 05, 2024 04:58 PM (xcxpd)

24 Not a surprise. Writers rooms on shows are more concerned with filling quotas than hiring good writers.

It used to be to get in a writers room you either worked your way up as an assistant, or had written spec scripts that got you a manager, who found some EPs that thought your writing would work well for a series.

Now they're hiring people who write blogs, have TikTok accounts, or did one stand up open mic, to be writers on shows, which could work for stupid trash feminist comedies, but not for series with over a hundred million words already written in to their lore.

Posted by: Rbastid at January 05, 2024 04:58 PM (FJC9j)

25 Did Claudine Gay write that?

No, she wrote Parry Hotter and the Sorcerer's Large Rock.

Posted by: Archimedes at January 05, 2024 04:59 PM (CsUN+)

26 Nobody will ever top the Harvard Lampoon's: "Bored of the Rings".

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 05, 2024 04:59 PM (YAtuc)

27 Was it 'Trek to Kraggen-Cor'? Cuz that was just fan fiction.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, anti-Marxist, buy ammo and keep your rifle by your side at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (xcxpd)
---
Both the Iron Tower Trilogy and the Silver Call Duology were blatant fan-fic by Dennis L. McKiernan.

There's more plagiarism in that series than even in Terry Brooks' Sword of Shannara.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 04:59 PM (7fElN)

28 > Listen to this guy! He knows what he's talking about!
Posted by: George R. R. Martin at January 05, 2024 04:57 PM (7fElN)

Or at least have a plot outline for all seven parts. Also, have the ending settled before you start.

Posted by: Amazon Pitch Meeting at January 05, 2024 04:59 PM (W5ArC)

29 That’s why the first John Wick was so good. The fight scenes / gun kung fu was done so well.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 04:59 PM (MNhXM)

30 Since it's relatively on topic...

https://amzn.to/3tOw6Xl

Corstae! March 1! Pre-order now!

It's Lord of the Rings inspired fantasy!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:00 PM (GBKbO)

31 Tolkien will be taken down like Star Wars' Lucas and squeek-holed by DEI for all eternity.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 05, 2024 05:00 PM (J3ryZ)

32 If they guy had only thought to make all the characters black and trans, he would have gotten away with it.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 05, 2024 05:00 PM (YAtuc)

33
Book Four: It Boggies The Mind

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:00 PM (xG4kz)

34 29 That’s why the first John Wick was so good. The fight scenes / gun kung fu was done so well.
Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 04:59 PM (MNhXM)

========

The fight scenes in the sequels are even better.

And the sequels suck.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:00 PM (GBKbO)

35 Meanwhile, Back in the Shire

Posted by: Just Lily at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (+YwOR)

36 Sooner or later (probably sooner if leftists prevail), copyrights will be a thing of the past.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (BdMk6)

37 The fight scenes in the sequels are even better.

And the sequels suck.

JW4 was a video game. The fight scenes, which are pretty much the entire movie, are just ludicrous.

Posted by: Archimedes at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (CsUN+)

38 "The Fellowship of the King"?!
.......

That's almost as bad as "Fellowship of the Dig" on Oak Island

Posted by: wth at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (v0R5T)

39 Since it's relatively on topic...

https://amzn.to/3tOw6Xl

Corstae! March 1! Pre-order now!

It's Lord of the Rings inspired fantasy!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:00 PM (GBKbO)
---
When do you want to pimp this on the Sunday Morning Book Thread?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (7fElN)

40 35 Meanwhile, Back in the Shire
Posted by: Just Lily at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (+YwOR)

=======

The Farmer Maggot told a Nazgul to get bent.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (GBKbO)

41 13 He planned for the book to be the first in a seven-part series.

Writers. Don't do this.
____

Yes. Should be 14!

Posted by: Robert E. Jordan at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (fs1hN)

42 31 Tolkien will be taken down like Star Wars' Lucas and squeek-holed by DEI for all eternity.
Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 05, 2024 05:00 PM (J3ryZ)
---------

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the travelling pants.

Posted by: WisRich at January 05, 2024 05:02 PM (G0vdT)

43 I’m suing Queen regard to my newly written song , Fat Bottomed Bohemian Girls.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:02 PM (MNhXM)

44 I hear he was going to make it a trilogy with his last book "The Very Similar-illion".

Posted by: banana Dream at January 05, 2024 05:02 PM (Y6IkP)

45 39 When do you want to pimp this on the Sunday Morning Book Thread?
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (7fElN)

=======

Every week until the end of time?

Or...February 25th. Whichever comes first.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:02 PM (GBKbO)

46 43 I’m suing Queen regard to my newly written song , Fat Bottomed Bohemian Girls.
Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:02 PM (MNhXM)

=======

"Get in line, pal."
-Vanilla Ice

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:02 PM (GBKbO)

47 The fight scenes in the sequels are even better.

And the sequels suck.

JW4 was a video game. The fight scenes, which are pretty much the entire movie, are just ludicrous.
Posted by: Archimedes at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (CsUN+)
---
Yep. There's one scene that takes place in a building where JW is mowing down mooks left and right with explosive ammunition. The cinematography could have come straight out of a video game, though it did look kind of cool.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:03 PM (7fElN)

48 "Sunscreech! Bring me the head of Optimist Primal!"

What?? It's totes original, man!

Posted by: Deleterious Megachron at January 05, 2024 05:03 PM (AD14M)

49 I hear he was going to make it a trilogy with his last book "The Very Similar-illion".

Heh.

Posted by: Archimedes at January 05, 2024 05:03 PM (CsUN+)

50 > 29 That’s why the first John Wick was so good. The fight scenes / gun kung fu was done so well.
Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 04:59 PM (MNhXM)

Yeah, it's hard to woke up a plot like "motherfucker shoots hundreds of other motherfuckers in a non-stop orgy of gun violence, with the occasional stabbing or defenestration as a palate cleanser".

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:03 PM (W5ArC)

51 40 35 Meanwhile, Back in the Shire
Posted by: Just Lily at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (+YwOR)

=======

The Farmer Maggot told a Nazgul to get bent.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:01 PM (GBKbO)

Looks like mushrooms are back on the menu, boys!

Posted by: Just Lily at January 05, 2024 05:03 PM (+YwOR)

52 He's on the road to Shambala.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2024 05:03 PM (63Dwl)

53 Sooner or later (probably sooner if leftists prevail), copyrights will be a thing of the past.
Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons

Claudine Gay will chair an exploratory committee.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter 2024 at January 05, 2024 05:04 PM (FVME7)

54 I’m suing Queen regard to my newly written song , Fat Bottomed Bohemian Girls.
Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:02 PM (MNhXM)
-----
That's just a ripoff of my ballad, "Fat Baggins Gals!"

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:04 PM (7fElN)

55
Barth Goiter -- His Early Years

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:05 PM (xG4kz)

56 Mannix, I hope you saw my thanks in the previous thread.

Posted by: Emmie at January 05, 2024 05:05 PM (Sf2cq)

57 If I had a billion dollars, the first thing I would do is make sure the All the Horde was well supplied with weapons, ammo, liquor and medical supplies for the coming Apocalypse.

Second thing I would do is write, produce and film a live action version of the Harvard Lampoon's classic tale "Bored of Rings".

Now that would be great.

Posted by: Sharkman at January 05, 2024 05:05 PM (/RHNq)

58 The thing about LOTR is we know nothing on how the Wizards, Elves, Hobbits or Orcs reproduce sexually or if they even "do it" or have genitals. Not to mention the Ents.

Is Gandalf hung like a gnat or is he packing some heat?

We will just have to fill in the gaps ourselves.

Posted by: Hollywood at January 05, 2024 05:05 PM (R/m4+)

59 The fight scenes in the sequels are even better.

And the sequels suck.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:00 PM (GBKbO)

The sequel fight scenes were on the level of the Matrix . JW 1 allowed for the suspension of belief.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:05 PM (MNhXM)

60 That's just a ripoff of my ballad, "Fat Baggins Gals!"
___

I'm interested.

Posted by: Stephen Hawking at January 05, 2024 05:06 PM (fs1hN)

61 Second thing I would do is write, produce and film a live action version of the Harvard Lampoon's classic tale "Bored of Rings".

Now that would be great.
Posted by: Sharkman at January 05, 2024 05:05 PM (/RHNq)
---
I tried reading Bored of the Rings. Just didn't like it.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:06 PM (7fElN)

62 -----
That's just a ripoff of my ballad, "Fat Baggins Gals!"
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:04 PM (7fElN)

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins >>>>>>> Fat Baggins Gals!

Fight me!

Posted by: Zombie Leonard Nimoy at January 05, 2024 05:06 PM (N3zMI)

63 Everything after the original Trilogy should be shunned

Posted by: Skip at January 05, 2024 05:06 PM (fwDg9)

64 I wonder if a tune called "All Along The Watchtowers of Gondor" could get you simultaneously sued by Bob Dylan and the Tolkien and Hendrix estates.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:06 PM (W5ArC)

65 hahahaha

The Supreme Court just agreed to hear the Colorado ballot case.

Down go leftists again.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2024 05:06 PM (ZLI7S)

66 If people haven't seen it, I highly recommend the little biopic of JRR that was simply titled Tolkien.

It's really quite sweet and touching. I really liked it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (GBKbO)

67 That's just a ripoff of my ballad, "Fat Baggins Gals!"
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:04 PM (7fElN)

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins >>>>>>> Fat Baggins Gals!

Fight me!
Posted by: Zombie Leonard Nimoy at January 05, 2024 05:06 PM (N3zMI)
---
You win...*hangs head in shame*

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (7fElN)

68 "The Return of the Little Kings" was awesome and tasty.

Posted by: mrp at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (rj6Yv)

69 The Fellowship of the Cock Ring. Orcs ask for no quarter and none was given.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (J3ryZ)

70 Yeah, it's hard to woke up a plot like "motherfucker shoots hundreds of other motherfuckers in a non-stop orgy of gun violence, with the occasional stabbing or defenestration as a palate cleanser".

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:03 PM (W5ArC)
------------

Oh, there are ways. Wasn't JW having the darndest time trying to kick the ass of the villian's female bodyguard, who weighed all of a 110 lbs.

Posted by: WisRich at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (G0vdT)

71 Supreme Court to hear Trump Cilirado Ballot Ban

Posted by: L(ola) at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (GshMh)

72 Colorado

Posted by: L(ola) at January 05, 2024 05:08 PM (GshMh)

73
A new LotR game:

Find the Asshole at The Council of Elrond

"Tom Bombadil, in the Sign of the Prancing Pony, with a Barrowwight"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:08 PM (xG4kz)

74 > 66 If people haven't seen it, I highly recommend the little biopic of JRR that was simply titled Tolkien.

It's really quite sweet and touching. I really liked it.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (GBKbO)

So did I. I can only imagine that it was ignored because fanboys went to it expecting elves and trolls rather than a charming picture about the actual man.

Very well done.

Also, the actress who played Edith is a smokeshow.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:09 PM (W5ArC)

75 The Two Trees are in fact an important part of the ancient history of Middle Earth -- I think they shed the equivalent of sunlight and starlight when the earth was flat and there was no sun. - ace

You are correct. Ungoliant the giant spider (shudder) poisoning one of the trees set off the War of the Simarils and the journey of the elves to Middle Earth.

Posted by: pookysgirl hasn't read The Simarillion in years at January 05, 2024 05:10 PM (dtlDP)

76 Oh, there are ways. Wasn't JW having the darndest time trying to kick the ass of the villian's female bodyguard, who weighed all of a 110 lbs.
Posted by: WisRich at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (G0vdT)

He was beat up and already shot so I’ll allow it,

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:10 PM (MNhXM)

77 The Two Trees are in fact an important part of the ancient history of Middle Earth -- I think they shed the equivalent of sunlight and starlight when the earth was flat and there was no sun.
---
Correct.

They were the primary sources of light in Middle-Earth until Ungoliant sucked the light from the trees thanks to Morgoth's meddling. What light remained was preserved in the Sun, the Moon, the Silmarils, and a few other odd bits and pieces scattered around the world.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:10 PM (7fElN)

78 66 If people haven't seen it, I highly recommend the little biopic of JRR that was simply titled Tolkien.

It's really quite sweet and touching. I really liked it.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM (GBKbO)

I will definitely look for that. Thanks!

Posted by: Just Lily at January 05, 2024 05:10 PM (+YwOR)

79
The Supreme Court just agreed to hear the Colorado ballot case.

Down go leftists again.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2024 05:06 PM (ZLI7S)
------------

Millions of lib's just screamed "Nooooooooo!!"

Posted by: WisRich at January 05, 2024 05:10 PM (G0vdT)

80 74 So did I. I can only imagine that it was ignored because fanboys went to it expecting elves and trolls rather than a charming picture about the actual man.

Very well done.

Also, the actress who played Edith is a smokeshow.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:09 PM (W5ArC)

========

To be fair, the single worst film genre is the biopic. They suck more often than direct to Tubi horror films.

I can easily imagine having little excitement about a Tolkien biopic. I don't think I had much until the reviews started coming out.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (GBKbO)

81 I'm going to start my book about the 101st Airborne in WWII called Fellowship of Brothers.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (BdMk6)

82 The Supreme Court just agreed to hear the Colorado ballot case.
____

We'll allow Colorado's bogus reading of the 13th amendment, but only in the very, very, narrowly tailored decision based on the Trump penumbra part of the Constitution. This won't apply to anyone else, like say, to someone facilitating the invasion of the US by millions of able-bodied military aged foreigners.

Posted by: SCOTUS 5-4 at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (fs1hN)

83 Second thing I would do is write, produce and film a live action version of the Harvard Lampoon's classic tale "Bored of Rings".

Now that would be great.
Posted by: Sharkman at January 05, 2024 05:05 PM (/RHNq)

---------------\\

Not me. Straight to producing a faithful Gor film.

Posted by: MAGA_Ken at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (cMXNt)

84 "Sillyrado"? I like it.

Posted by: mrp at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (rj6Yv)

85 73
A new LotR game:

Find the Asshole at The Council of Elrond

"Tom Bombadil, in the Sign of the Prancing Pony, with a Barrowwight"
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:08 PM (xG4kz)

Odo Proudfoot, naked in the Mirror of Galadriel, with a Dead Marsh corpse.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (N3zMI)

86 Yeah, it's hard to woke up a plot like "motherfucker shoots hundreds of other motherfuckers in a non-stop orgy of gun violence, with the occasional stabbing or defenestration as a palate cleanser".

-------

Joan Wick's hetero ladyboy life mate dies from monkeypox, and leaves him Ukraine to keep him company, but then Russians kill it, so zhe has to shoot zher way through every Orthodox nursery school in Tennessee.

Fin.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 05, 2024 05:12 PM (0FoWg)

87 Cilirado Ballot Ban
Posted by: L(ola) at January 05, 2024 05:07 PM

Works for me, same difference

Posted by: Skip at January 05, 2024 05:13 PM (fwDg9)

88 South Park LOTR

Jews can't be paladins

http://tinyurl.com/rrpmtnap

Posted by: nurse ratched, the real hero at January 05, 2024 05:13 PM (wmNFJ)

89 To be fair, the single worst film genre is the biopic. They suck more often than direct to Tubi horror films.

I can easily imagine having little excitement about a Tolkien biopic. I don't think I had much until the reviews started coming out.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (GBKbO)

Mozart was good.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at January 05, 2024 05:13 PM (BdMk6)

90 88 South Park LOTR

Jews can't be paladins

http://tinyurl.com/rrpmtnap
Posted by: nurse ratched, the real hero at January 05, 2024 05:13 PM (wmNFJ)

========

Look at those fucking babies playing Harry Potter.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:13 PM (GBKbO)

91 I assume elves make love just like humans but by the time they turn 2,000 they become ice queens.

I do wonder about the ents.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:14 PM (AN/rm)

92 Cillantro Ballot Ban?!

Sounds delicious!

Posted by: Long Live the Herbs! at January 05, 2024 05:14 PM (AD14M)

93 Lol. Consultant is getting fired. Totally misread the room

Sigh.

Posted by: Kristi Noem at January 05, 2024 05:14 PM (xttsV)

94 > "Tom Bombadil, in the Sign of the Prancing Pony, with a Barrowwight"
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:08 PM (xG4kz)

> Odo Proudfoot, naked in the Mirror of Galadriel, with a Dead Marsh corpse.
> Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (N3zMI)

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins making the beast with two backs with Gollum on live video from the council chamber in the Town Hole at Michel Delving.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:14 PM (W5ArC)

95 Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (GBKbO)

Military and boxing biopics are usually good.

Heartbreak Ridge, To Hell and Back, Sergeant York .

Cinderella Man, The Fighter, Somebody Up There Likes Me

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:15 PM (MNhXM)

96 89 Mozart was good.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at January 05, 2024 05:13 PM (BdMk6)

========

I think you mean Amadeus.

There are good uns, but the biopic conventions were so expertly taken apart in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, laying bare the inanity of the structure, cliches, and tricks to such a degree that something like 95% of biopics end up getting unmasked as formulaic trash once it opens your eyes to it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:15 PM (GBKbO)

97 To be fair, the single worst film genre is the biopic. They suck more often than direct to Tubi horror films.

I can easily imagine having little excitement about a Tolkien biopic. I don't think I had much until the reviews started coming out.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:11 PM (GBKbO)

----------------

Shadowlands about CS Lewis was a little slow.

Posted by: MAGA_Ken at January 05, 2024 05:15 PM (cMXNt)

98 > I do wonder about the ents.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:14 PM (AN/rm)

If they have anything like pollen, it probably sucks to be an allergy sufferer anywhere near a forest adolescent male ents.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:15 PM (W5ArC)

99 The two trees (silver and gold) give light to the world, but are slain by Morgoth and Ungoliant: a fruit and a flower are the product of the dying trees, which are transformed into the moon and the sun.

Posted by: The inevitable Tolkien pedant at January 05, 2024 05:15 PM (mZOHK)

100 @Techno_Fog

One of the most serious allegations from this release -

That Giuffre was forced to have sex with "the former Prime Minister of Israel Ehud Barak"

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (ZLI7S)

101 From the Variety article:

"The copyright around “The Lord of the Rings” franchise is particularly fraught with most of the rights for “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy and “The Hobbit” residing with Swedish gaming group Embracer, who bought them from the Saul Zaentz Co for $395 million last year."
----
This is interesting in that a Swedish company has most of the rights for the movies and television properties, leaving Amazon with fairly limited material to work with. But Amazon is creatively bankrupt, so they were going to flop no matter what.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (7fElN)

102 What about second brunch?

Posted by: Grape Juice Plus at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (ufJfM)

103 One of the most serious allegations from this release -

That Giuffre was forced to have sex with "the former Prime Minister of Israel Ehud Barak"
______

She had it easy!

Posted by: Mrs. Ehud Barak at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (fs1hN)

104 . Wasn't JW having the darndest time trying to kick the ass of the villian's female bodyguard, who weighed all of a 110 lbs.“

No, he tossed her around like a pillow and then stabbed her. He had a hard time with Common’s character after he had killed half the Mafia

Posted by: UGAdawg at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (tRd71)

105 Good Lord, don't take Amadeus as a biopic! It's pure theatrical drama only veeeeeery loosely based on Mozart's life.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (N3zMI)

106
Ungoliant

Its twin siblings, Linament and Unguent, failed to live up to their potential to do evil and later found gainful employment as two bollards on the sanitary department's wharves for hauling refuse away on barges at Osgiliath

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (xG4kz)

107 > That Giuffre was forced to have sex with "the former Prime Minister of Israel Ehud Barak"
Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (ZLI7S)

Does it say they actually had sex?

There are a lot of people who she says she "was told to" have sex with, but not many where she says it actually happened.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (W5ArC)

108 Techno_Fog

One of the most serious allegations from this release -

That Giuffre was forced to have sex with "the former Prime Minister of Israel Ehud Barak"
Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (ZLI7S)

Another Lefty.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (MNhXM)

109 How many shifts as a Starbuck's barista will it take to pay off a $135K legal bill?

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (8mA1p)

110
Straight to producing a faithful Gor film.
Posted by: MAGA_Ken

MST3K - Outlaw of Gor

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (63Dwl)

111 105 Good Lord, don't take Amadeus as a biopic! It's pure theatrical drama only veeeeeery loosely based on Mozart's life.
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (N3zMI)

========

All movies based on history are garbage in terms of accurately creating their history. That's my rule. It just divorces the film from the history in a way that allows me to try and appreciate the film itself separate from the history.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, walking with hope in America with Frank Capra at January 05, 2024 05:18 PM (GBKbO)

112 Addendum: The world was only bent after the downfall of Numenor: before that the sun and the moon went round a flat disc shaped earth: the realm of the Gods was in the west.

Posted by: The inevitable Tolkien pedant at January 05, 2024 05:18 PM (mZOHK)

113 Demetrious Polychron is almost as believable as Titus Andromedon.

Posted by: LASue at January 05, 2024 05:19 PM (GOOc7)

114
OT: Anyone here able to throw a stone 15 miles?

The Biden-Harris campaign has billed the location in the election battleground state as being a "stone's throw" away where then-Gen. Washington, leading the Continental Army, "transformed a disorganized alliance of colonial militias into a cohesive coalition united in their fight for our democracy" nearly 250 years ago.

The distance from where he spoke to Valley Forge, PA is 15 miles. They didn't want his sorry ass anywhere near the miles of 'grassy knoll' of Valley Forge Park.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at January 05, 2024 05:19 PM (3qE2b)

115 >>Does it say they actually had sex?

Yes.

http://tinyurl.com/28uvb6v4

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2024 05:19 PM (ZLI7S)

116 No, he tossed her around like a pillow and then stabbed her. He had a hard time with Common’s character after he had killed half the Mafia
Posted by: UGAdawg at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (tRd71)

That was in the sequel and what lost me. There is supposed to be only one boogeyman. Blew the whole premise of John Wick,

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:19 PM (MNhXM)

117 I - The Fellow Shippers of the Ring
II - The Two Trees
III - Return of the Mack

Posted by: Brother Tim sez Max Headroom for President! at January 05, 2024 05:19 PM (OUMaO)

118 I have no idea how I'm going to handle it legally once I'm finished, but for years, I've been working on a novel based *very* loosely on the story of Haleth, briefly mentioned in The Simarilion. There were a few plot elements that inspired me, but that's pretty much in the first chapter, then I go a different direction than Tolkien did. Honestly, if I didn't tell people I got the idea from an obscure bit of Tolkien's work, they would have no idea.

Posted by: pookysgirl, hoping and praying at January 05, 2024 05:19 PM (dtlDP)

119 "The Harrowing of Hahvad Yahd"

Posted by: mrp at January 05, 2024 05:20 PM (rj6Yv)

120 > MST3K - Outlaw of Gor
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (63Dwl)

Jack Palance was in that. Man, he must've been broke.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:20 PM (W5ArC)

121 Addendum: The world was only bent after the downfall of Numenor: before that the sun and the moon went round a flat disc shaped earth: the realm of the Gods was in the west.
Posted by: The inevitable Tolkien pedant at January 05, 2024 05:18 PM (mZOHK)
----
The Fall of Numenor is just a myth! They are still hiding on their little island, masters of advanced technology that only makes it *seem* like the Earth is round....

Posted by: Flat Earth Society at January 05, 2024 05:20 PM (7fElN)

122 >>>I assume elves make love just like humans but by the time they turn 2,000 they become ice queens.

>The dark elves had emollients to combat the potential damage of excessive friction, wear and tear.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 05, 2024 05:20 PM (J3ryZ)

123

The trees were all made equal by Morgoth, Ungoliant and Fred.

Posted by: RUSH at January 05, 2024 05:20 PM (63Dwl)

124 Military and boxing biopics are usually good.

Heartbreak Ridge, To Hell and Back, Sergeant York .

Cinderella Man, The Fighter, Somebody Up There Likes Me
Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:15 PM (MNhXM)

Another good biopic -- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at January 05, 2024 05:20 PM (BdMk6)

125 MST3K - Outlaw of Gor
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (63Dwl)

-----------

Don't start.

Posted by: MAGA_Ken at January 05, 2024 05:21 PM (cMXNt)

126 You'd think what with immortality there would be an infinite number of baby elves but apparently they're not that interested in elvish whoopie.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:21 PM (AN/rm)

127 I do wonder about the ents.
Posted by: Northernlurker

Clouds of pollen falling on their nuts.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 05, 2024 05:21 PM (lTGtQ)

128 MST3K - Outlaw of Gor
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (63Dwl)

"Cabot!"
"Cabot!"
"Cabot!"
"Nope, doesn't ring a bell."

Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson at January 05, 2024 05:21 PM (XPM1I)

129 Straight to producing a faithful Gor film.
Posted by: MAGA_Ken

MST3K - Outlaw of Gor

The only "faithful" parts of the movie Outlaw of Gor to the book is 1) the title; and 2) the names of a few of the characters.

Posted by: John Norman at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (xttsV)

130 (The Two Trees are in fact an important part of the ancient history of Middle Earth -- I think they shed the equivalent of sunlight and starlight when the earth was flat and there was no sun.)

----------

Nobody tell Bill Gates and the rest of the Klimate Katastrophist Kult.

Posted by: ShainS -- Plagiarism is copying without attribution plus white cisheteropatriarchal skin at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (56peP)

131 >>No, he tossed her around like a pillow and then stabbed her. He had a hard time with Common’s character after he had killed half the Mafia

Killing half the mafia can be tiring even for the boogyman.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (ZLI7S)

132 @10 Sauron was quite the shape-shifter before he lost the ability to take human form (part of his punishment, I think).

--------

He was forced to abandon his physical form when the Capitol of the Numenoreans - where he was imprisoned - sank beneath the waves to punish them. He was only able to exist as a spirit of malice afterwards (apparently one that could wear armor, weapons, and a ring).

Posted by: junior at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (NZkAO)

133 Speaking of Biopics, just watched the combined biopic , Ford vs Ferrari for the first time last night. They took a lot of artistic license in that one too though from what I’ve read the characters personalities were pretty accurate.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (MNhXM)

134 > 122 >>>I assume elves make love just like humans but by the time they turn 2,000 they become ice queens.

Or the men do.

The thing between Gimli and Galadriel was mutual.

One you go with one of Durin's Folk, you never go back, baby.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (W5ArC)

135 The Fall of Numenor is just a myth! They are still hiding on their little island, masters of advanced technology that only makes it *seem* like the Earth is round....

Posted by: Flat Earth Society at January 05, 2024 05:20 PM (7fElN)

Talk to Manwe and Illuvatar. Not my department.

Posted by: Aule at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (mZOHK)

136 Demetrious Polychron is almost as believable as Titus Andromedon.

Posted by: LASue

= =

You should see me transform into a gun. A Love gun.

Posted by: Demetrious Pauleychron Stanley at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (AD14M)

137 Just looked up ole Demetrius on Amazon and he has zero titles. They do suggest I read The Fellowship of the Ring tho.

And he’s a white Demetrius, wasn’t expecting that.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (uKeRS)

138 I do wonder about the ents.
Posted by: Northernlurker

----
There's a reason the Entwives wandered off.
And the Ents didn't notice for decades.

Posted by: Just Lily at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (+YwOR)

139 In Disney Dystopia news, the new Marvel woke content featuring a diverse disabled female shero looks so good you guys. - Ace

The Wayans Brothers got there first ("In Living Color") when they did the super hero "Handy-Man", who was a handicapped superhero.

It was really funny, but probably could not be done today.

Posted by: A face in the crowd..... at January 05, 2024 05:23 PM (vcOmj)

140 You'd think what with immortality there would be an infinite number of baby elves but apparently they're not that interested in elvish whoopie.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:21 PM (AN/rm)
---
This issue tends to crop up in fantasy stories with long-lived races (Elves and Dwarves, usually). Authors tend to get around it by implying--or stating outright--different rates of maturity and different levels of childbirth. There's never a very good explanation about why the world is not covered in Elves/Dwarves/Gnomes/whatever...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:23 PM (7fElN)

141 We'll allow Colorado's bogus reading of the 13th amendment, but only in the very, very, narrowly tailored decision based on the Trump penumbra part of the Constitution. This won't apply to anyone else, like say, to someone facilitating the invasion of the US by millions of able-bodied military aged foreigners.
Posted by: SCOTUS 5-4
------
It is the 14th amendment and I doubt it will be allowed to stand as many lefty federal judges have already rejected the lawsuits and it is specifically against prior Scotus precedent affecting their power. States are limited to time place and manner restrictions and no more on federal officers (see US Term Limits v. Thornton). No deference is required by Scotus to overturn state court decisions involving federal law while Scotus rulings require some level of deference to other branches of the federal government.

Posted by: whig at January 05, 2024 05:23 PM (8IKKJ)

142 The Wayans Brothers got there first ("In Living Color") when they did the super hero "Handy-Man", who was a handicapped superhero.

It was really funny, but probably could not be done today.
Posted by: A face in the crowd..... at January 05, 2024 05:23 PM (vcOmj)

They made a similar movie .

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:24 PM (MNhXM)

143 I just got my Nikki Haley advert in the mail.

"Demand Fiscal Discipline"

"Energy Independence"

"Protect The Border"

I'M SOLD

Posted by: MAGA_Ken at January 05, 2024 05:24 PM (cMXNt)

144 Speaking of Biopics, just watched the combined biopic , Ford vs Ferrari for the first time last night. They took a lot of artistic license in that one too though from what I’ve read the characters personalities were pretty accurate.

Posted by: Titanium White

I enjoyed that movie. From what I know, the artistic license was mostly about compressing events in time or shifting the timeline.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 05, 2024 05:24 PM (lTGtQ)

145 116 No, he tossed her around like a pillow and then stabbed her. He had a hard time with Common’s character after he had killed half the Mafia
Posted by: UGAdawg at January 05, 2024 05:16 PM (tRd71)
----------

Just checked out the fight scene. Yep, once Wick was in hand to hand with her, it was over pretty quick.

Posted by: WisRich at January 05, 2024 05:24 PM (G0vdT)

146 Best biopic is Lawrence Of Arabia

Posted by: Mark1971 at January 05, 2024 05:25 PM (xPl2J)

147 And these sort of judgements make sense to me. A $134k "fine" for this type of nonsense.

But someone like Alex Jones or Rudy Giuliani and the $500 million dollar judgements get handed down because somebody's feeling were hurt.

Posted by: Blago at January 05, 2024 05:25 PM (qV4tc)

148 Or the men do.

The thing between Gimli and Galadriel was mutual.

One you go with one of Durin's Folk, you never go back, baby.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (W5ArC)
---
The relationship between a male dwarf and a female elf in Peter Jackson's Hobbit Trilogy was one of the stranger aspects of that whole movie...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 05, 2024 05:25 PM (7fElN)

149 Damn couldn’t think of the name until just now.

Blank man

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:25 PM (MNhXM)

150 Blech. Off, racist sock.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at January 05, 2024 05:25 PM (XPM1I)

151 Why stop at books. How about a cheesy TV show, The Enthousewives of Fangorn Forest? Or a cooking show, Mushrooms With Mrs. Maggot? Or a crime series starring a lot of aging actors, Mordor, She Wrote?

This could go on for a while.

Posted by: JTB at January 05, 2024 05:26 PM (7EjX1)

152 Handyman:

https://youtu.be/sEaTFKG4IHs

Posted by: pawn at January 05, 2024 05:26 PM (QB+5g)

153
He was forced to abandon his physical form when the Capitol of the Numenoreans - where he was imprisoned - sank beneath the waves to punish them.

His "Letters from a Numenorean Jail" did pretty much bupkis for the nascent Orcs' civil rights movement during the Third Age.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:26 PM (xG4kz)

154 Bet your house Pa gets the " Democrat Nomination as the state's votes, the Democrats and Dominion will make sure that happen

Posted by: Skip at January 05, 2024 05:27 PM (fwDg9)

155 Why stop at books. How about a cheesy TV show, The Enthousewives of Fangorn Forest? Or a cooking show, Mushrooms With Mrs. Maggot? Or a crime series starring a lot of aging actors, Mordor, She Wrote?

This could go on for a while.
Posted by: JTB at January 05, 2024 05:26 PM (7EjX1)
----
And all of those can be found in my upcoming "Middle-Earth Holiday Special!"

Posted by: George Lucas at January 05, 2024 05:27 PM (7fElN)

156 I enjoyed that movie. From what I know, the artistic license was mostly about compressing events in time or shifting the timeline.
Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 05, 2024 05:24 PM (lTGt

Yes and Beepo wasn’t that much of a dick. And they never had a fight.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:27 PM (MNhXM)

157 What I'd like to see is a film version of that mule takedown of the mountain lion as seen in last night's ONT. That was freakin' intense.

Posted by: mrp at January 05, 2024 05:27 PM (rj6Yv)

158 In Middle Earth, Pon Farr was seven decades.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 05, 2024 05:27 PM (J3ryZ)

159 A History of Po-Tay-Toes: Boil 'em, Mash 'em, Stick 'em in a Stew With your Host Samwise

Posted by: Cheesy TV Show at January 05, 2024 05:27 PM (AD14M)

160 Didn't the Gor dude turn out to have been a college professor or something like that?

Not surprising that he wrote under a pseudonym.

Would tend to be a little off-putting to the parents, I suppose.

"He took me by the hair and thrust my head down to the furs. "A man can truly love only that woman," he said, "who is truly his, who belongs to him. Otherwise he is only a part to a contract." "A woman," I said, "can love only that man to whom she truly belongs." "To whom do you truly belong, Slave?" he asked. "To you, Master," I said. "You please me, Slave Girl," he said."

Yeah, that could be a little awkward if it came up during a campus visit.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:27 PM (W5ArC)

161 I have an idea for a comic book

Posted by: Adriane the Not Sarcastic, Nope, Nope, Nope Critic . . . at January 05, 2024 05:28 PM (4Winp)

162 Goodfellas was a great biopic. Ed Wood was good too.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 05, 2024 05:28 PM (0FoWg)

163 Best biopic is Lawrence Of Arabia

That is an excellent movie. I only saw it for the first time several years ago. I can't imagine audiences today being able to sit through that long of a film in a theatre.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2024 05:28 PM (RSbhh)

164 Those few men who fall instantly in love with an elf maiden probably experience blue balls from time to time.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:28 PM (AN/rm)

165
Friday's speech was rescheduled from Saturday due to predictions of bad weather in Valley Forge, where Washington and his troops struggled to survive a brutal winter.

We here (about five miles from Valley Forge Park) *might* get some snow tomorrow when the temperature is above freezing. But nice comparison to Washington, asswipe 'journalist'.

I can just picture Joe Biden with the fresh chemical peel on his face standing in solidarity with George Washington in 34 degree temperatures.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at January 05, 2024 05:28 PM (3qE2b)

166 MST3K - Outlaw of Gor
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2024 05:17 PM (63Dwl)

Jack Palance was in that. Man, he must've been broke.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:20 PM (W5ArC)

The host segments were good, especially when they read from Palance's memoir.

Day 3: Missed call. I wandered into a scene and I think they kept it.

Day 5: Missed call. My voice scares small Italian children.

Day 10: Missed call. I think I killed a guy. More later.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:28 PM (T/Lqj)

167 This could go on for a while.

Posted by: JTB at January 05, 2024 05:26 PM (7EjX1)

Samwise Gamgee Cookware!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 05, 2024 05:28 PM (gSZYf)

168
The relationship between a male dwarf and a female elf in Peter Jackson's Hobbit Trilogy was one of the stranger aspects of that whole movie...

"It's at the front of the joining point of his legs and his lower torso -- that's got to be a dick."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:29 PM (xG4kz)

169 Getting to make out with your gorgeous elf wife once a century can be frustrating.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:30 PM (AN/rm)

170 Demetrious Polychron
Archimedes Plutonium, is that you?
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot

Demetrious Polychron?!
Seriously bro?! Bwahahahah
Posted by: Deleterious Megachron

Demetrious Polychron is almost as believable as Titus Andromedon.
Posted by: LASue

That is definitely the sort of name an AI would come up with if you asked it to name the protagonist of a Sturgeon's-Law-level 1960s sci-fi novel.

Posted by: mikeski at January 05, 2024 05:30 PM (DgGvY)

171 Ed Wood was good too.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 05, 2024 05:28 PM (0FoWg)

Saw Ed Wood again a few weeks ago. Really well done. and then, as a bonus, Plan 9 showed up on the Rifftrax channel on Pluto a few days later. Very cool.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:30 PM (T/Lqj)

172 He was forced to abandon his physical form when the Capitol of the Numenoreans - where he was imprisoned - sank beneath the waves to punish them. He was only able to exist as a spirit of malice afterwards (apparently one that could wear armor, weapons, and a ring).

Posted by: junior at January 05, 2024 05:22 PM (NZkAO)

Sauron wasn't really imprisoned when Numernor sank. He was in the Temple to Morgoth (Melkor) on Numenor when the Gods did their schtick.

Posted by: The inevitable Tolkien pedant at January 05, 2024 05:30 PM (mZOHK)

173 Forgot the most successful military biopic. Patton.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:30 PM (MNhXM)

174 Why stop at books. How about a cheesy TV show, The Enthousewives of Fangorn Forest? Or a cooking show, Mushrooms With Mrs. Maggot? Or a crime series starring a lot of aging actors, Mordor, She Wrote?

This could go on for a while.
Posted by: JTB at January 05, 2024 05:26 PM (7EjX1)

My Three Orcs

Leave It To Smeagel.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at January 05, 2024 05:31 PM (BdMk6)

175 > 169 Getting to make out with your gorgeous elf wife once a century can be frustrating.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:30 PM (AN/rm)

Like I said, I'd bet on it being the male elves who are actually uninterested, especially the Jackson elves.

Those bois are way too pretty to be het.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:32 PM (W5ArC)

176 Forgot the most successful military biopic. Patton.
Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:30 PM (MNhXM)

My dad took my mom to that for their first date.

Because he's a stone-cold playa.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 05, 2024 05:32 PM (0FoWg)

177 I just got my Nikki Haley advert in the mail.

"Demand Fiscal Discipline"

"Energy Independence"

"Protect The Border"

I'M SOLD
Posted by: MAGA_Ken at January 05, 2024 05:24 PM (cMXNt)

Lucky. I've been drowning in pro- and anti-Haley mail for the last month.

Posted by: pookysgirl lives in Iowa at January 05, 2024 05:32 PM (dtlDP)

178 This could go on for a while.
Posted by: JTB at January 05, 2024 05:26 PM (7EjX1)

My Three Orcs

Leave It To Smeagel.
Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at January 05, 2024 05:31 PM (BdMk6)

Faulty Towers.

Wait…

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:32 PM (MNhXM)

179 Supposedly, in Tolkein's world the elves would put some of their lifeforce into their creations, whether it would be rings or kids. Eventually they would tire of Middle-earth and go West into Valinor. So, low birth-rate. Why tire yourself out creating a brood of elves if you still wanted to create 'magic' kingdoms, armor, rings or whatever.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at January 05, 2024 05:32 PM (fs1hN)

180 I do wonder about the dwarves, though.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at January 05, 2024 05:33 PM (fs1hN)

181 The Disaster Artist was good biopic as well.

Tommy Wiseau was kind of a modern Ed Wood. James Franco did a good job with the role.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:33 PM (T/Lqj)

182 You'd think what with immortality there would be an infinite number of baby elves but apparently they're not that interested in elvish whoopie.
---
That's because elf vaginas have teeth which bites off the entire male appendage, twig and berries all.
He often dies from blood loss but if he survives, he then ages like a human and dies within a few decades.
The appendage is then in absorbed into her body like a queen bee, inseminating the 2nd egg 300 years after the 1st birth. Upon which she ages as a human and dies in a few decades as well.
Population equilibrium is maintained except for the rare twin birth or stillbirth.

You don't want to have sex with an elf, human.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice - Personality Commentator at January 05, 2024 05:33 PM (TzW+Y)

183 Speaking about Numenot there's a place in the Sahara that people who are into such things believe was Atlantis.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:34 PM (AN/rm)

184 Shows even Jackson had to have interracial characters

Posted by: Skip at January 05, 2024 05:34 PM (fwDg9)

185 169 Getting to make out with your gorgeous elf wife once a century can be frustrating.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:30 PM (AN/rm)

Maybe they only menstruate once a century too, so...

Posted by: The inevitable Tolkien pedant at January 05, 2024 05:34 PM (mZOHK)

186 I assume elves make love just like humans but by the time they turn 2,000 they become ice queens.

I do wonder about the ents.

They're always sporting wood.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at January 05, 2024 05:34 PM (dZVON)

187 I still can't believe that Speilberg shot that triceratops. What a jerk.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 05, 2024 05:34 PM (lTGtQ)

188 I didn't see Alien til I was an adult, and got confused, because I was like "wait, the guy who played Patton made this?"

Wrong Scott.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 05, 2024 05:35 PM (0FoWg)

189 Getting to make out with your gorgeous elf wife once a century can be frustrating.
Posted by: Northernlurker

It's a matter of timing. They might only go into heat once every thousand years, but it lasts for fifty.

Posted by: mikeski at January 05, 2024 05:35 PM (DgGvY)

190 164 Those few men who fall instantly in love with an elf maiden probably experience blue balls from time to time.
___

Tell me about it.

Posted by: 90 year old Aragorn musing while walking the paths of the dead at January 05, 2024 05:35 PM (fs1hN)

191
Keep your eyes and ears peeled for the next podcast sensation:

"Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy
(as Read Aloud by Cats)"!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:36 PM (xG4kz)

192
And he’s a white Demetrius, wasn’t expecting that.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe

Des he look like Victor Mature?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2024 05:36 PM (63Dwl)

193 That's because elf vaginas have teeth which bites off the entire male appendage, twig and berries all.

= =

That escalated quickly

Posted by: Ron Burgundy at January 05, 2024 05:36 PM (AD14M)

194 Two good military adjacent biopics

The Kings Speech and The Pianist

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:36 PM (MNhXM)

195 Scotus to hear arguments... Feb 8th

Posted by: WisRich at January 05, 2024 05:36 PM (G0vdT)

196 190 164 Those few men who fall instantly in love with an elf maiden probably experience blue balls from time to time.
___

Tell me about it.

Posted by: 90 year old Aragorn musing while walking the paths of the dead at January 05, 2024 05:35 PM (fs1hN)

I could help you with that.

Posted by: Eowyn at January 05, 2024 05:36 PM (mZOHK)

197 Hobbiton After Dark

Bewitched, in which the Witch King of Angmar marries a human and tries to live a suburban lifestyle.
Orks Company. Two Morgul vermin try to convince their suspicious and prejudiced landlord that their Uruk Hai roommate is actually a basketball player from Mount Gundabad.

My Mother the Giant Spider, told from the perspective of a child of Ungoliant.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at January 05, 2024 05:37 PM (W5ArC)

198 Hobbits mate like men
I suspect they have gigantic wangs.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:37 PM (AN/rm)

199
Oh Shit!

A stupid GOBLIN on Tik Tok has Uncovered The Jewish Secret McChicken Wrap Conspiracy! Those Tricksy Jewseses Could Not Fool Her!

Observe:

https://youtu.be/iSsgpap44nY?si=8Lz1EQqynLiLlido&t=114

Posted by: Soothsayer at January 05, 2024 05:37 PM (ovpau)

200 Two good military adjacent biopics

The Kings Speech and The Pianist
Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:36 PM (MNhXM)

Agree. Especially The King's Speech. Colin Firth is an exceptional actor.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:37 PM (T/Lqj)

201 That's because elf vaginas have teeth which bites off the entire male appendage, twig and berries all.
He often dies from blood loss but if he survives, he then ages like a human and dies within a few decades.

------------

Hmmm. The story of my second wife.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at January 05, 2024 05:37 PM (BdMk6)

202 How often did Spock have to go back to Vulcan to get some tail?

Maybe it’s the pointed ears thing.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (MNhXM)

203 Agree. Especially The King's Speech. Colin Firth is an exceptional actor.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:37 PM (T/Lqj)

Great movie

Posted by: It's me donna at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (n2vyf)

204 Elf Girls are Easy

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (lTGtQ)

205
Maurice Jarre wrote the score for Lawrence.

The entrance to the desert scene was the finest thing ever put on film.

Posted by: Auspex at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (j4U/Z)

206 Agree. Especially The King's Speech. Colin Firth is an exceptional actor.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:37 PM (T/Lqj)

Also, I have huge crush on Helena Bonham Carter. Which is funny, because my wife has a huge crush on Firth.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (T/Lqj)

207 Numenor vs Wakanda

Who ya got…

Posted by: Studio Execs at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (TTAGa)

208 There's a reason Rosie waited for Samwise.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:39 PM (AN/rm)

209 Spock got all kinds of nookie on that starship

Posted by: Skip at January 05, 2024 05:39 PM (fwDg9)

210 Bad Tolkien characters combined with bad TV shows.

Shelob's the Sheriff.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at January 05, 2024 05:39 PM (dZVON)

211 How often did Spock have to go back to Vulcan to get some tail?

Maybe it’s the pointed ears thing.

Posted by: Titanium White

= =

Yeah, they're pretty hot.

Posted by: Nurse Chapel at January 05, 2024 05:39 PM (AD14M)

212 207 Numenor vs Wakanda

Who ya got…

Posted by: Studio Execs at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (TTAGa)

Please die swiftly.

Posted by: Inevitable Tolkein pedant at January 05, 2024 05:39 PM (mZOHK)

213 I thought the actress who played Rosie was super cute.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:40 PM (AN/rm)

214 i before f^&%n' e...

Posted by: Inevitable Tolkien pedant at January 05, 2024 05:40 PM (mZOHK)

215
Can you imagine!

How Dare McDonald's SECRETLY Support Israel and TRICK YOU into supporting Israel, too?!?!

They might as well change their name McJewyBurgers.

Posted by: Soothsayer at January 05, 2024 05:40 PM (ovpau)

216 Also, I have huge crush on Helena Bonham Carter. Which is funny, because my wife has a huge crush on Firth.
____

I suggest a leeetle role-playing!

Posted by: Dr. Ruth at January 05, 2024 05:40 PM (fs1hN)

217
Sounds of choppers again -- I guess old Logorrhea Breath is headed back to SC.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:41 PM (xG4kz)

218 Didn't the Gor dude turn out to have been a college professor or something like that?

wiki: "John Frederick Lange Jr. (born June 3, 1931) is an American writer who, as John Norman, has authored the Gor series of science fantasy novels. Norman is also a philosophy professor. (now retired)"

Posted by: John Norman at January 05, 2024 05:41 PM (xttsV)

219
Wait, Wayne Lapierre is mort?
RIP

Posted by: Soothsayer at January 05, 2024 05:41 PM (ovpau)

220 Also, I have huge crush on Helena Bonham Carter. Which is funny, because my wife has a huge crush on Firth.
____

I suggest a leeetle role-playing!
Posted by: Dr. Ruth at January 05, 2024 05:40 PM (fs1hN)

'Twould be a weird foursome.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:41 PM (T/Lqj)

221 Can you imagine!

How Dare McDonald's SECRETLY Support Israel and TRICK YOU into supporting Israel, too?!?!

They might as well change their name McJewyBurgers.
Posted by: Soothsayer at January 05, 2024 05:40 PM (ovpau)

Does that mean Burger King will now support Hamas?

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:41 PM (MNhXM)

222 Can you imagine!

How Dare McDonald's SECRETLY Support Israel and TRICK YOU into supporting Israel, too?!?!

They might as well change their name McJewyBurgers.

If they had sold hot dogs it would have been obvious to everyone decades ago.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at January 05, 2024 05:41 PM (dZVON)

223
Or DC

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:41 PM (xG4kz)

224
I won't even buy "hummus" because it's too close to hamas.

Posted by: Soothsayer at January 05, 2024 05:43 PM (ovpau)

225
Hummus is Hamas adjacent

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:44 PM (xG4kz)

226 183 Speaking about Numenot there's a place in the Sahara that people who are into such things believe was Atlantis.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:34 PM (AN/rm)

I read something not too long ago that posited Atlantis is actually somewhere off to the left of Ireland.

Supposedly there are “definite” sub sea structures that are of interest

Posted by: browndog yearns for the land of Gondolin at January 05, 2024 05:44 PM (TTAGa)

227 >>Yeah, they're pretty hot.
Posted by: Nurse Chapel

Let go of my ears, I've done this before!

Posted by: Spock at January 05, 2024 05:44 PM (HQ9Sl)

228 Return of the Kangz.

Posted by: Kitchner Lesley at January 05, 2024 05:44 PM (CgQvH)

229 Maurice Jarre wrote the score for Lawrence.

The entrance to the desert scene was the finest thing ever put on film.
Posted by: Auspex at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (j4U/Z)

I have an LP of Jarre's soundtracks. His "Witness" score is a gem.

Posted by: mrp at January 05, 2024 05:44 PM (rj6Yv)

230 I read something not too long ago that posited Atlantis is actually somewhere off to the left of Ireland.

Supposedly there are “definite” sub sea structures that are of interest

Posted by: browndog yearns for the land of Gondolin at January 05, 2024 05:44 PM (TTAGa)

To the left of Ireland?..... maybe North Korea.

Posted by: Inevitable Tolkien pedant at January 05, 2024 05:45 PM (mZOHK)

231 @172 Sauron wasn't really imprisoned when Numernor sank. He was in the Temple to Morgoth (Melkor) on Numenor when the Gods did their schtick.

--------

That makes sense. The important part is that he was on the island at the time.

Posted by: junior at January 05, 2024 05:46 PM (NZkAO)

232 That makes sense. The important part is that he was on the island at the time.

Posted by: junior at January 05, 2024 05:46 PM (NZkAO)

Indeed.

Posted by: Inevitable Tolkien pedant at January 05, 2024 05:46 PM (mZOHK)

233 219 Finally. Took long enough.

Posted by: Blame It On gp's Juice at January 05, 2024 05:46 PM (MvF+J)

234
I have an LP of Jarre's soundtracks. His "Witness" score is a gem.
Posted by: mrp

The music for the barn raising scene is damn near perfect in how it builds on the melodic theme.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:46 PM (xG4kz)

235 There were a few plot elements that inspired me, but that's pretty much in the first chapter, then I go a different direction than Tolkien did. Honestly, if I didn't tell people I got the idea from an obscure bit of Tolkien's work, they would have no idea.
Posted by: pookysgirl, hoping and praying at January 05, 2024 05:19 PM (dtlDP)

simple, make sure all the place names are in line with Prose Edda and the geneology of the Scyldings and follow the spellings as well, and get your story straight about how you used to read the Norse tales and teh Scottish stories too, when you were a wee bairn (a shaidae of yoursel' to come really)

Posted by: Kindltot at January 05, 2024 05:47 PM (D7oie)

236 Maurice Jarre wrote the score for Lawrence.

The entrance to the desert scene was the finest thing ever put on film.
Posted by: Auspex at January 05, 2024 05:38 PM (j4U/Z)

But he also did Doctor Zhivago and gets his own special circle of hell for "Lara's Theme".

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 05, 2024 05:47 PM (N3zMI)

237 Lawrence of Arabia is one of those films I reserve for a dreary winter day when I have nothing to do (which is not often). Got a great TV with a great sound system. I love that film. Majestic.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:49 PM (T/Lqj)

238 Dwarfs reproduce kinda like mushrooms.
When she is in heat, she becomes irresistible to her choosen mate.
It kinda looks like they just lay down together on the ground and then melt into the earth, as they release an intoxicating acid.
Years later, 2-4 eggs that look like rocks growing in the ground hatch.
Young dwarfs root around on all fours, looking like little pigs.

The human that romances a drwaf gets badly burned and usually killed by the acid release.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice - Personality Commentator at January 05, 2024 05:49 PM (TzW+Y)

239 Ruh roh...

/Hides copies of Bored of the Rings...

Posted by: National Lampoon at January 05, 2024 05:50 PM (xaFKb)

240 Best biopic is Lawrence Of Arabia
Posted by: Mark1971 at January 05, 2024 05:25 PM (xPl2J)

Barfly > Larry Of Arabia

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 05, 2024 05:50 PM (R/m4+)

241 So ... today is really, really kinda' like LOR. All this stunned surprise that The Dark Eye is back ? It really is pretty obvious.

All this static that certain folks ... that were so loud and steady in their support ... would suddenly be exactly wrong when the chips are down ? Also pretty damn obvious.

Heh.

Posted by: Big Fan at January 05, 2024 05:51 PM (XnPt3)

242 My daughter just came in crying her eyes out. She was over at a friend's house when the friend's 4 year old daughter was attacked by a pack of 7 dogs. The doctors do not know whether the child will live or not.

Someone needs to go to jail.

Posted by: vic at January 05, 2024 05:51 PM (A5THL)

243 Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2024 05:46 PM (xG4kz)

I didn't realize Jarre had done the soundtrack for "Witness" It is a great soundtrack.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2024 05:51 PM (RSbhh)

244 Ruh roh...

/Hides copies of Bored of the Rings...
Posted by: National Lampoon at January 05, 2024 05:50 PM (xaFKb)

Gosh darn it anyway!!

Was just cracking my knuckles to make that very reference.

*kicks rock*

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:52 PM (T/Lqj)

245 242 My daughter just came in crying her eyes out. She was over at a friend's house when the friend's 4 year old daughter was attacked by a pack of 7 dogs. The doctors do not know whether the child will live or not.

Someone needs to go to jail.
Posted by: vic at January 05, 2024 05:51 PM (A5THL)

Oh My God... Prayers for the little girl

Posted by: It's me donna at January 05, 2024 05:52 PM (n2vyf)

246 I think the Tolkien estate is now in the hands of one of the less bad video game publishers (Nordic), so it's okay to be happy that they came out ahead. Amazon and that author totally deserve each other though.

Posted by: CppThis at January 05, 2024 05:52 PM (PZvjL)

247 I thought John Williams wrote soundtracks to all the movies.

Posted by: runner at January 05, 2024 05:52 PM (V13WU)

248 The best Lawrence of Arabia movie was the one with Peter O'Tool.

Posted by: vic at January 05, 2024 05:53 PM (A5THL)

249 I didn't realize Jarre had done the soundtrack for "Witness" It is a great soundtrack.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2024 05:51 PM (RSbhh)
------------
Also scored "The Man Who Would Be King" and the 1973 Musketeers movie.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at January 05, 2024 05:53 PM (xYckV)

250 simple, make sure all the place names are in line with Prose Edda and the geneology of the Scyldings and follow the spellings as well, and get your story straight about how you used to read the Norse tales and teh Scottish stories too, when you were a wee bairn (a shaidae of yoursel' to come really)
Posted by: Kindltot at January 05, 2024 05:47 PM (D7oie)

Not that hard, as I took a class in Early Brit Lit in college and the prof loved Tolkien. We read parts of Tolkien's Beowulf commentary.

Posted by: pookysgirl has an alibi (for once) at January 05, 2024 05:54 PM (dtlDP)

251 Someone needs to go to jail.
Posted by: vic at January 05, 2024 05:51 PM (A5THL)

Oh My God... Prayers for the little girl
Posted by: It's me donna at January 05, 2024 05:52 PM (n2vyf)

Oh dear Lord. Sending prayers.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:55 PM (T/Lqj)

252 My daughter just came in crying her eyes out. She was over at a friend's house when the friend's 4 year old daughter was attacked by a pack of 7 dogs.

OK ... we can all obviously pick this. Which groups enjoy owning attack dogs ? There are only three.

Posted by: Big Fan at January 05, 2024 05:55 PM (XnPt3)

253 I would presume that the few humans that successfully got an elf wife would have gone screen door in a hurricane on her.

Look, the hottest elf of all time hooked up with a man. Galadriel was the second hottest, apparently, and she sure had her eye on Gimli.

And Arwen was probably number three, and she ended up with Aragon. Elvish men must not have been all that.

Dwarves: Perhaps like in Pratchett's novels, Dwarvish mating consisted of delicately finding out what gender the other dwarf was? Plus they kept dying off due to civil war; spiders; dragons, etc. And gold lust over actual lust.

Posted by: GanGanowicz at January 05, 2024 05:55 PM (lKnYj)

254 The Lord of the Ring of Fire.

Posted by: Jim at January 05, 2024 05:55 PM (zhWvq)

255 I thought John Williams wrote soundtracks to all the movies.
Posted by: runner at January 05, 2024 05:52 PM (V13WU)

Him and Hans Zimmer.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:56 PM (T/Lqj)

256 My daughter just came in crying her eyes out. She was over at a friend's house when the friend's 4 year old daughter was attacked by a pack of 7 dogs.
Posted by: vic

In the house?

Posted by: SFGoth at January 05, 2024 05:56 PM (KAi1n)

257 I have a feeling that nobody will claim those dogs.

Posted by: vic at January 05, 2024 05:56 PM (A5THL)

258 My daughter just came in crying her eyes out. She was over at a friend's house when the friend's 4 year old daughter was attacked by a pack of 7 dogs. The doctors do not know whether the child will live or not.

Someone needs to go to jail.
Posted by: vic at January 05, 2024 05:51 PM (A5THL)

Or lock them in the room with those seven dogs after they haven't been fed for a day.

Posted by: pookysgirl has no pity for certain people at January 05, 2024 05:56 PM (dtlDP)

259 I do wonder about the ents.

They're always sporting wood.
Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at January 05, 2024 05:34 PM (dZVON)

and the Entwives supposedly left because the guys were always hanging out in the forest, not spending time with them in their gardens.

So, they doomed their race, via Divorce, because the guys would not listen to them...

/looks around at his friends.... uh... shit...

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 05, 2024 05:56 PM (xaFKb)

260 Wait, Wayne Lapierre is mort?
RIP
Posted by: Soothsayer at January 05, 2024 05:41 PM (ovpau)

He's been dead a long time.

He just resigned today however.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 05, 2024 05:56 PM (R/m4+)

261 256 In the house?

In her yard.

Posted by: vic at January 05, 2024 05:57 PM (A5THL)

262 Also: someone mentioned Dennis McKiernan's Iron Tower and Silver call series; which is almost blatant fanfic for Tolkien. In fact, he admits the Silver Call was pretty much just a story of going back to Moria.

But then he kept writing and turned it into a pretty good independent series, not reliant on Tolkien. So good for him.

Posted by: GanGanowicz at January 05, 2024 05:57 PM (lKnYj)

263 I didn't see Alien til I was an adult, and got confused, because I was like "wait, the guy who played Patton made this?"

Wrong Scott.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 05, 2024 05:35 PM (0FoWg)

I know, right? It was actually Rocky Horror Picture Show

Posted by: Kindltot at January 05, 2024 05:57 PM (D7oie)

264 Speaking of dwarves, I also just recently watched for the first time, The Station Agent. Pretty good. Staring the guy from Game of Thrones.

Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:58 PM (MNhXM)

265 Vic that is horrible

Posted by: Skip at January 05, 2024 05:58 PM (fjq4L)

266 And it sounds like the dogs and the owners of those dogs need to be fed to the Orcs....

Posted by: GanGanowicz at January 05, 2024 05:58 PM (lKnYj)

267 Him and Hans Zimmer.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 05:56 PM (T/Lqj)

Indeed!

Posted by: runner at January 05, 2024 05:59 PM (V13WU)

268 Ents take a full day to tell an entwife they'd like to make out.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 05, 2024 05:59 PM (AN/rm)

269 Jerry Goldsmith

Patton
Alien
Total Recall
Basic Instinct

Posted by: Don Black at January 05, 2024 06:00 PM (geLO8)

270 I know, right? It was actually Rocky Horror Picture Show
Posted by: Kindltot at January 05, 2024 05:57 PM (D7oie)

Great Scott!!!

Posted by: Tom Servo at January 05, 2024 06:00 PM (i9ffA)

271 I wandered into this thread expecting talk of elves vayjayjays and I was not disappoint

Posted by: The Unvaxxed and Unmasked Ranger at January 05, 2024 06:00 PM (VTu1l)

272 I didn't realize Jarre had done the soundtrack for "Witness" It is a great soundtrack.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2024 05:51 PM (RSbhh)
------------
Also scored "The Man Who Would Be King" and the 1973 Musketeers movie.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at January 05, 2024 05:53 PM (xYckV)

Also the 1964 film "Is Paris Burning?" The one that has Kirk Douglas cast as George S. Patton. LOL The theme that plays as the lights come on in Paris always makes my eyes water.

Posted by: mrp at January 05, 2024 06:00 PM (rj6Yv)

273
Which groups enjoy owning attack dogs ?

I was at a state park when one of those groups let his pit bull dog out of his car without a lease. I quickly calculated where I was going to kick that dog in the nuts or p_ssy to make sure it never was able to procreate again and propel it into the next county. The owner figured my calculations out pretty quickly and put the freak on a lease.

____ man's burden is real.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at January 05, 2024 06:00 PM (3qE2b)

274 Pretty good. Staring the guy from Game of Thrones.
Posted by: Titanium White at January 05, 2024 05:58 PM (MNhXM)

Peter Dinklage. He has the right tone of "yeah I may be short, but you do not want to fuck with me." Funny thing is I read the first few GoT books, and he was whom I pictured as Tyrion.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Disgustipated at January 05, 2024 06:01 PM (T/Lqj)

275 Jerry Goldsmith

Patton
Alien
Total Recall
Basic Instinct
Posted by: Don Black at January 05, 2024 06:00 PM (geLO

Also "The Wind and the Lion"

Posted by: mrp at January 05, 2024 06:01 PM (rj6Yv)

276 And it sounds like the dogs and the owners of those dogs need to be fed to the Orcs....

I see you've never talked to the owners of Pit Bulls, or Rottweilers, or back in the day those who liked Dobermans. Do yourself a favor ... google a Cane Corso. Then google what fucking maniac would want one.

I know three, in one shop I contract to, that love them. Because they love the idea of not having to use a gun. These dogs are guns, if guns were not liable to those who feed them.

Posted by: Big Fan at January 05, 2024 06:01 PM (XnPt3)

277 But he also did Doctor Zhivago and gets his own special circle of hell for "Lara's Theme".

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 05, 2024 05:47 PM (N3zMI)

I choke up every time I hear it, in a good way. Brings back a lot of memories.

Posted by: javems at January 05, 2024 06:02 PM (8I4hW)

278 Scotus announces they will hear Trumps 14th amendment appeal.

That horrible shrieking you hear is every lefty in the universe crying out in pain and terror.

Posted by: Boswell at January 05, 2024 06:02 PM (K+UlC)

279 Nood

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at January 05, 2024 06:02 PM (R4t5M)

280 One of Maurice Jarre's finest "Is Paris Burning?" 1966 :

LINK: http://tinyurl.com/5ye97wma

Posted by: mrp at January 05, 2024 06:08 PM (rj6Yv)

281 Sort of apropos but I enjoyed Jason Whitlock talking about Katt Williams. He talked about fake Hollywood promoting John Majors as a sex symbol, and Jason's first comparison was Michelle Obama. 🤣

Posted by: logprof at January 05, 2024 06:28 PM (x1rGZ)

282 Dwarves will fornicate with anything, even "women" with chin whiskers and hairy tits.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 05, 2024 06:48 PM (J3ryZ)

283 It's amazing in support of me to have a website, which is good for my
knowledge. thanks admin

Posted by: techno music 2023 at January 12, 2024 06:32 AM (9X7y3)

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