Netflix Has a New Biopic About Hannibal, and This Time, They've Got the Casting 100% Historically Accurate<br>Wait, Hannibal Wasn't Black? I Just Assumed He Was Black Because Mr. T Played Him on the A-Team.<br>Wait, Mr. T Didn't Play Him on the A-Team?

Netflix Has a New Biopic About Hannibal, and This Time, They've Got the Casting 100% Historically Accurate
Wait, Hannibal Wasn't Black? I Just Assumed He Was Black Because Mr. T Played Him on the A-Team.
Wait, Mr. T Didn't Play Him on the A-Team?

Netflix once again race-swaps a historical figure, this time casting Denzel Washington as Hannibal, who was Phoenician.

I guess they figure, well, Carthage was in Africa, and people are stupid, so they won't know the difference, right?

And that's a sound enough working theory. People are now in fact stupider than they've ever been in human history. How sad is that?

I mean, honestly, in ninth grade, yeah, I thought Hannibal was black. Because Carthage is in Africa, so he's black. That simple. If I'm being more honest, that early-formed image stuck in my head for a long time.

But it's not accurate.

And just as the evil cuckstress Jada Pinkett's stupid raceswapped Cleopatra fiction offended Egyptians, this newest film has Tunisians bothered.

For some, the famous African-American actor is too old and, above all, too dark to portray Hannibal.

As I David Strom pointed out, Denzel Washington is... 68. Hannibal was something like mid-late thirties during his famous trek.

[T]he script is also a cause for concern for Tunisians, who are determined to preserve the image they have of the man considered to be one of history's greatest military strategists -- who died between 183 and 181 BC.
The debate, which began on social media and in some media outlets, has now reached Parliament. On Thursday, November 30, at the Assembly of the Representatives of the People (ARP), while the budget for the Ministry of Cultural Affairs was being discussed in plenary session as part of the 2024 Finance Law, MP Yassine Mami questioned Minister Hayet Ketat Guermazi about the Netflix project. "We have no information on the content. There's a risk of falsifying history," he said.... For Mami, who is also president of the Committee on Tourism, Culture and Services, it is about "defending Tunisian identity" and listening to "the reactions of civil society."

What a racist Tunisian. So full of White Privilege!

I love seeing Spider-Man in the background.

David Strom linked a couple of these race-swap parody posters:

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 04:26 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Shhh -i'm reading the post.

Posted by: Glenn John at December 14, 2023 04:28 PM (RilAR)

2 Movie thread

Posted by: Beartooth at December 14, 2023 04:28 PM (4iIQh)

3 WAIT ... Epstein was black? this changes every (damn) thing.

Posted by: illiniwek at December 14, 2023 04:28 PM (Cus5s)

4 Hollywood has no compunctions about cultural appropriation or the suppression of the history and identity of indigenous populations, as these Cleopatra and Hannibal films make clear.

Posted by: My Ridiculously Circuitous Plan at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (4n6y0)

5 "Blacks are top of the intersectionality stack, and everyone had better remember."
-Dave Chapelle

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (GBKbO)

6 So they're going to show him capturing slaves, right?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (IG4Id)

7 Raise your hand if ever met a Phoenician.

Posted by: Netflix at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (RilAR)

8 Where as his son john david washington tenet the creator is too young

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (PXvVL)

9 As I David Strom pointed out, Denzel Washington is... 68. Hannibal was something like mid-late thirties during his famous trek.

=========

Tom Holland for Hannibal!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (GBKbO)

10 You know what's hilarious?

Looking back at the movies where white dudes played Asians or Arabs.

"Oh, this is culturally insensitive, and we must approach it with caution."

But black dudes playing any race from history? "Fuck you, racist. This is how things are done now."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:30 PM (GBKbO)

11 Yo, you got it all wrong.

Tunisians are barbers, and lots of blacks are barbers.

Posted by: Harvard Ethnic Studies PhD at December 14, 2023 04:30 PM (vnZnr)

12 Wait… Ace is David Strom?

Posted by: Boone at December 14, 2023 04:30 PM (Y9o+Z)

13 >People are now in fact stupider than they've ever been in human history.
---

hey- that's my theory of everything!

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:31 PM (geLO8)

14 Blacks are top of the intersectionality stack, and everyone had better remember."
-Dave Chapelle

What about black lesbian tranny Phoenicians of color?

Posted by: Netflix at December 14, 2023 04:31 PM (RilAR)

15 They could have Hannibal eat Julius Caesar (Lizzo) with some fava beans.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 14, 2023 04:31 PM (CwhoI)

16 I thought Hannibal was a small town in Missouri, where kids conned other kids into painting fences for them. And where white kids helped black slaves escape injustice.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:32 PM (dGCAG)

17 Looking back at the movies where white dudes played Asians or Arabs.
__________

John Wayne as Genghis Khan.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 14, 2023 04:32 PM (lf83v)

18 I hear they are going to race swap Hannibal's elephants with Lizzo.

Posted by: Beartooth at December 14, 2023 04:32 PM (4iIQh)

19 I wonder if they’re going to bring up the Carthaginians’ practice of child sacrifice.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023 04:32 PM (bDHsC)

20 Tunisians are Arabs. Arab invaders of North Africa. Arab colonizers of North Africa. Arab OCCUPIERS of North Africa.

Posted by: rechill at December 14, 2023 04:33 PM (Q1LXu)

21 They've also cast several Corgis who identify as elephants to play the role of the terrifying battle units.

Posted by: spindrift at December 14, 2023 04:33 PM (B/KRV)

22 doesn't it seem like Mr. T should have played a character called Hannibal on the A-Team?

Posted by: ace at December 14, 2023 04:33 PM (KRtlO)

23 17 Looking back at the movies where white dudes played Asians or Arabs.
__________

John Wayne as Genghis Khan.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 14, 2023 04:32 PM (lf83v)

=======

Tonight's movie is The Bitter Tea of General Yen where General Yen is played by Nils Asther.

The Wikipedia entry is almost half about how it was bad that a white guy played an Asian character. (nah...only about a quarter)

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:33 PM (GBKbO)

24 >Raise your hand if ever met a Phoenician.
---

I had one out to the house last month to fix the Phoenic in the basement

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:33 PM (geLO8)

25 Movie thread!

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at December 14, 2023 04:33 PM (EGSGm)

26 People are now in fact stupider than they've ever been in human history.

Fact 16% of the U.S population has an IQ under 85. That is approximately 48,000,000 people not counting all the geniuses invading over the southern border.

Posted by: Archer at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (gmo/4)

27 If we're doing race swap lets do species swap. Hannibal (Denzel) rides an elephant (Lizzo) across the Alps.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (IZPBd)

28 I thought Hannibal was a small town in Missouri, where kids conned other kids into painting fences for them. And where white kids helped black slaves escape injustice.
_______

Interesting.

Posted by: Dr. Lecter at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (lf83v)

29 They should have cast a 350 lb. black lesbian. Then I'd actually watch it just for the lols.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (MeG8a)

30 >>>19 I wonder if they’re going to bring up the Carthaginians’ practice of child sacrifice.

they say that every ancient race accused every other ancient race of that. I think I read there's only one ancient race whose own texts cop to the practice. forget which it was.

Posted by: ace at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (KRtlO)

31 Looking back at the movies where white dudes played Asians or Arabs.

"Oh, this is culturally insensitive, and we must approach it with caution."

Or Italians playing Native Americans.

Posted by: bonhomme at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (R38qh)

32 @18 great minds and such

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (IZPBd)

33 Maybe an elephant will step on Denzel's toe.

Posted by: wth at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (v0R5T)

34 30 they say that every ancient race accused every other ancient race of that. I think I read there's only one ancient race whose own texts cop to the practice. forget which it was.
Posted by: ace at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (KRtlO)

=========

"The Bible!"
-DU, 93% probability

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (GBKbO)

35 That Genghis Khan flick was bad news. A lot of the cast and crew ended up dying of cancer.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (bDHsC)

36 John Wayne as Genghis Khan.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 14, 2023 04:32 PM (lf83v)

Myrna Loy played an Asian and a dot-Indian!

Of course, as far as I'm concerned, Myrna can play anything and I'll watch.

Posted by: spindrift at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (B/KRV)

37 Raise your hand if ever met a Phoenician.
_____

Yes. He was blind.

Posted by: Window Dressing at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (lf83v)

38 Carthage was a Phoenician colony. Hannibal, I think, was not even born and brought up there; his father (Hasdrubal? The family name was Barca) was on military duty in Spain, which Carthage and the Romans were clashing over, and young Hannibal grew up there. A legend says that Hasdrubal brought the very young Hannibal into their temple, to Baal probably, and had him swear eternal hatred against Rome for its treatment of Carthage in the first war.

Hannibal was committed to his cause -- defeating Rome -- but was not a fanatic, though. Stories of his good treatment of his men and animals abound. The odd thing was he did all this in the service of Carthage, but never saw the place until he was older, maybe not until near the end of the second war.

In any case, northern Africa north of the Sahara was pretty much a European region. The sub-Saharan mass of the continent, yes, that was black, but not the region up near the Mediterranean.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (J2vNu)

39 Tom Holland for Hannibal!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (GBKbO)

Is Michael Cera too old?

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (dGCAG)

40 >>> >Raise your hand if ever met a Phoenician.

i had to get a connecting flight in Phoenicia in the summer, it was 115 degrees.

don't touch the metal handles on taxis' doors!

Posted by: ace at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (KRtlO)

41 Is Denzel really 68? Yikes.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (N3zMI)

42 Anne Baxter as an Egyptian princess
THAT was some casting

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (geLO8)

43 39 Tom Holland for Hannibal!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (GBKbO)

Is Michael Cera too old?
Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (dGCAG)

========

Michael Cera is too cool.

https://is.gd/rlw4WH

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (GBKbO)

44 Raise your hand if ever met a Phoenician.
Posted by: Netflix
________

I thought that was the name for people from Phoenix.

Seriously, tho, what are they called? Phoenixians?

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (vF0Jo)

45 I wonder if they’re going to bring up the Carthaginians’ practice of child sacrifice.

Not if they've cast a black guy in the lead role...

Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 14, 2023 04:36 PM (YAtuc)

46 Denzel is on borrowed time at 68.

Make up exists. They can lighten him up. Too old though, based on 30 seconds of reading.

I'm not sure modern man has the imagination to even fake some of Hannibal's exploits.

Posted by: DOYLE at December 14, 2023 04:36 PM (Z8Yh2)

47 Fun fact: Carthage never won a single SEC championship.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 14, 2023 04:36 PM (CwhoI)

48 Or Italians playing Native Americans.
Posted by: bonhomme at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (R38qh)

Robert DeNiro as... The Irishman

The horror... the. HORROR!

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:36 PM (dGCAG)

49 Speedway has $2.79 gas??? Wow.

Posted by: wth at December 14, 2023 04:36 PM (v0R5T)

50 Hannibal is one of my favorite historical characters.

But honestly, I don't care anymore. These people aren't my countrymen, this stupid mockumentary isn't for me.

Go ahead and play pretend, foreigners. I'm just a stranger in a strange land.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at December 14, 2023 04:36 PM (N1tpc)

51 Shit, if the Leftards ever find out about the Berbers they are going to blow a gasket.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at December 14, 2023 04:37 PM (uKeRS)

52 Internet be internettin’

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/jrcbmIRcdLM

Posted by: Adriane the YouTube Critic . . . at December 14, 2023 04:37 PM (4Winp)

53 What are people from Phoenix called?

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:37 PM (geLO8)

54 42 Agreed. Anne Baxter was hawt.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023 04:37 PM (bDHsC)

55 Isn't he the dude that ate people in that movie about the lambs?

Posted by: Harvard Ethnic Studies PhD at December 14, 2023 04:37 PM (vnZnr)

56 50 Hannibal is one of my favorite historical characters.

But honestly, I don't care anymore. These people aren't my countrymen, this stupid mockumentary isn't for me.

Go ahead and play pretend, foreigners. I'm just a stranger in a strange land.
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at December 14, 2023 04:36 PM (N1tpc)

=========

I just like pointing out the double standard.

Like...a black girl playing Ariel in The Little Mermaid is fine because mermaids aren't real, but Scarlett Johannsson playing a cyborg in Ghost in the Shell is a hate crime.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:37 PM (GBKbO)

57 Make it black.
Make it old.
Make it defaaaame!

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at December 14, 2023 04:38 PM (T30rw)

58 >>>What are people from Phoenix called?

Flamers.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 14, 2023 04:38 PM (CwhoI)

59 Michael Cera is too cool.

https://is.gd/rlw4WH
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (GBKbO)

Whatever that is, it's blocked here on the work pooter.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:38 PM (dGCAG)

60 That Genghis Khan flick was bad news. A lot of the cast and crew ended up dying of cancer.

A nuclear test occurred during filming, and blanketed the area with a fair amount of radiation.

The Atomic Energy Commission, per their usual practice, failed to inform the people downwind from the test that they should take cover until the radiation dissipated.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 14, 2023 04:38 PM (YAtuc)

61 59 Whatever that is, it's blocked here on the work pooter.
Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:38 PM (dGCAG)

========

GIF from his cameo in Twin Peaks: The Return.

He plays a greaser, James Dean wannabe. It's kind of hilarious.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (GBKbO)

62 The tale goes that all of Hannibal's elephants died on the trek across the Alps except one, and that one was Hannibal's own mount. (Awww --) Don't know if that's true. African elephants are not easy to tame; I suspect they used something more like today's Indian elephants, or a cross-breed strain.

Elephants were like the tanks of the ancient world. You got them going -- an elephant can cover ground faster than a running man -- and men and horses stood no chance against them. The trouble was, if the elephants panicked and wheeled to run, they coujld trample right back over their own side's troops. Uh-oh.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (J2vNu)

63 they say that every ancient race accused every other ancient race of that. I think I read there's only one ancient race whose own texts cop to the practice. forget which it was.
Posted by: ace at December

...

You have the Hebrew prophets saying the Hebrews themselves did it in imitation of their neighbors.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (X7yt5)

64 >>>That Genghis Khan flick was bad news. A lot of the cast and crew ended up dying of cancer.

To die making THAT movie is a real kick in the nuts.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (CwhoI)

65 46 Denzel is on borrowed time at 68.

Posted by: DOYLE

Hold up. This is my expertise.
I did my PhD thesis on this: "Good black don't crack."

Posted by: Harvard Ethnic Studies PhD at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (vnZnr)

66 There's a Phoenicia NW of me in Catskills. Good fishing and tubing. A friend of mines family used to own a restaurant on the road up there and a guy came in and asked "is this the way to Fon-i-kaya?". Much hilarity ensued

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (IZPBd)

67 Diversity all the time

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (UYagu)

68 A nuclear test occurred during filming, and blanketed the area with a fair amount of radiation.
_________

Khaaaaaaannnnn!!!!

Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (lf83v)

69 Natalie Wood (of Russian descent) played an Indian is some movie

The Searchers I think?

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (geLO8)

70 just got a resume across my desk for a developer

a bachelor of arts in "literary journalism"

i guess some do take the advice to heart

Posted by: moviegique (buy my book!) at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (asXVI)

71 What are people from Phoenix called?
Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 0

***
Broilers

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (J2vNu)

72 That Genghis Khan flick was bad news.

John Wayne took the role and used the money to help finance his pet project, The Alamo.

Posted by: Archer at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (gmo/4)

73 Guess by now Ace has been corrected about Hannibal

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (UYagu)

74
Can you imagine that Downfall scene with Samuel L. Jackson as Hitler?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (MoZTd)

75 >>>What are people from Phoenix called?
......

Phoneys?

Posted by: wth at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (v0R5T)

76 Raise your hand if ever met a Phoenician.

Posted by: Netflix at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM (RilAR)

I flew into Phoenics in 2020. Had a great time hiking in northern Arizona, but didn't think much of the city. Although I had a great meal at a Mexican joint near the airport called Cocina Madrigal. Fantastic place.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (gSZYf)

77 69 Natalie Wood (of Russian descent) played an Indian is some movie

The Searchers I think?
Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (geLO

========

Nah, she be white in that movie. Abducted by Scar (known as Sicatrice amongst the Mexicans), she was John Wayne's niece (possibly daughter, though that is only obliquely implied).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (GBKbO)

78 Natalie Wood was white in "The Searchers". She had been kidnapped by Amerinds.

Posted by: moviegique (buy my book!) at December 14, 2023 04:40 PM (asXVI)

79 I hope they cast Dylan Mulvaney as Scipio.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (iWA0V)

80 62 Wolfus, I think the war elephants came from India. African elephants are undomesticable.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (bDHsC)

81 i had to get a connecting flight in Phoenicia in the summer, it was 115 degrees.

don't touch the metal handles on taxis' doors!
Posted by: ace at December 14, 2023 04:35 PM (KRtlO)

Only 115? Must have been monsoon season.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (dGCAG)

82 Natalie Wood (of Russian descent) played an Indian is some movie
*
The Searchers I think?
Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023

***
That's it. Actually she plays John Wayne's niece, a white girl abducted by the "Comanch."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (J2vNu)

83 ....maybe we'll delay our biopic of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, played by Awkwafina, a few more months.

Posted by: Netflix at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (e8j4m)

84 also, wouldn't the cold of the Alps kill the elephants?

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (geLO8)

85 I'm not much interested in Netflix's take on the Punic Wars anyway, quite apart from racial nonsense.

Posted by: netflix movies tend to be lackluster at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (ttzpt)

86 I was always partial to seeing Gilbert Gottfried in all the historical roles. Unfortunately, he has assumed room temperature (as has Paul Reubens)...so now I need another go to historical character actor.

On a side note...Kevin Hart in a Whitey Bulger biopic? Yes?

Posted by: Orson at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (dIske)

87 what was Hannibal thinking

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (geLO8)

88 80 62 Wolfus, I think the war elephants came from India. African elephants are undomesticable.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (bDHsC)

The North African species of elephant used in war went extinct a long time ago. The war elephants the Carthaginians used weren't Indian.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at December 14, 2023 04:42 PM (eYoxG)

89 85 I'm not much interested in Netflix's take on the Punic Wars anyway, quite apart from racial nonsense.
Posted by: netflix movies tend to be lackluster at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (ttzpt)

=======

Plus, you know, Antoine Fuqua.

Dude is barely competent.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:42 PM (GBKbO)

90 He's still a cannibal though, right??

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 04:42 PM (krqg6)

91 Wolfus, I think the war elephants came from India. African elephants are undomesticable.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023

***
Kind of what I thought. Though are elephants "domesticated" (bred and allowed to breed for traits we want) in the way dogs are, or semi like cats, or merely tamed?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:42 PM (J2vNu)

92 82
I stand corrected

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:42 PM (geLO8)

93 What are people from Phoenix called?
Posted by: Don Black

Hot & thirsty … but only in the summer …

Posted by: Adriane the YouTube Critic . . . at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (4Winp)

94 Elephants were like the tanks of the ancient world. You got them going -- an elephant can cover ground faster than a running man -- and men and horses stood no chance against them. The trouble was, if the elephants panicked and wheeled to run, they coujld trample right back over their own side's troops. Uh-oh.

I didn't know elephants were as tall as a ten story building until I saw Return of the King.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (CsUN+)

95 Lt. Col. John "Hannibal" Smith > Hannibal the Conqueror

Posted by: I Stand with No One at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (VJkxa)

96 79 I hope they cast Dylan Mulvaney as Scipio.
Posted by: Cave Johnson at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (iWA0V)

----

Wait, no. I forgot, his full name was "Scipio Africanus", which means he must have been black, so we'll get the chick from The Little Mermaid to play him.

Mulvaney can be Fabulous Maximus.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (iWA0V)

97 "Can you imagine that Downfall scene with Samuel L. Jackson as Hitler?"

If only there were a national outlet for sketch comedy. One with some history, and "acclaim".

Posted by: DOYLE at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (Z8Yh2)

98 God, we're actually arguing the ethnicity of Hannibal's elephants.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (CwhoI)

99 94 I didn't know elephants were as tall as a ten story building until I saw Return of the King.
Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (CsUN+)

========

I never knew a Rohan king could fly until I saw that.

Too soon?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (GBKbO)

100 How awesome is it that the racial and cultural grievance obsessed Hollywood producers didn't stop to consider that the Tunisians might be upset that their hero is portrayed as a black man.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (NYzgN)

101 GIF from his cameo in Twin Peaks: The Return.

He plays a greaser, James Dean wannabe. It's kind of hilarious.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:39 PM (GBKbO)

I love that scene. Best part is, Lucy and Andy would have totally had him as a son.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (dGCAG)

102 Wooly Mammoths were the hippies of the pachyderms.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (CsUN+)

103 I am poud to announce with the overwhelming success of Bidenomics and the US Economy, that our grate city will be implementing Bidenomics program to help makes are city grow faster then when Trump was Dictator.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, Vt at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (VYql4)

104 Well, the gloating over the failure to oust Claudine Gay has begun, with the history already being rewritten. This was, as I have read, an attempt by rich white men to get rid of a black female (and we know what that means!) It was a modern day lynch mob. Furthermore it is claimed this type of thing would never happen to a white male present a university. Nope, white males are immune from attack by the mobs. Just ask Larry Summers.

F***ing incredible. The left not only won this battle but is going to seek out revenge.

Posted by: Ripley at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (JojsZ)

105 >> also, wouldn't the cold of the Alps kill the elephants?

No. Elephants love the cold.

It's the Altitude that gets them.

Posted by: garrett at December 14, 2023 04:44 PM (+Rtz8)

106 I want to see Shaq portray Elon Musk.

Posted by: Allen at December 14, 2023 04:44 PM (lFLgt)

107 100 How awesome is it that the racial and cultural grievance obsessed Hollywood producers didn't stop to consider that the Tunisians might be upset that their hero is portrayed as a black man.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (NYzgN)

========

Because blacks are the top of the intersectionality stack. They have no political power because they are the ultimate victims, so they get all the political power.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:44 PM (GBKbO)

108 Denzel as Hannibal? They should have cast Schwarzenegger:
"I climb de Alps barefoot."

Posted by: wth at December 14, 2023 04:44 PM (v0R5T)

109 ***
That's it. Actually she plays John Wayne's niece, a white girl abducted by the "Comanch."
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (J2vNu)

But Audrey Hepburn played an Indian in a western with Burt Lancaster and Audie Murphy that I can't remember right now.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 04:44 PM (N3zMI)

110 Omar Sharif, an Arab, played Dr. Zhivago.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023 04:44 PM (bDHsC)

111 >>I didn't know elephants were as tall as a ten story building until I saw Return of the King.

From a Hobbit Perspective, they are.

Posted by: garrett at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (+Rtz8)

112 30 >>>19 I wonder if they’re going to bring up the Carthaginians’ practice of child sacrifice.

they say that every ancient race accused every other ancient race of that. I think I read there's only one ancient race whose own texts cop to the practice. forget which it was.
Posted by: ace at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (KRtlO)

We've got archaeological evidence of the Carthaginian practice, it is tied to their religion(which has the same pantheon as the Canaanites as they're from the region), and it is not the case that everyone accuses everyone else of child sacrifice.

The Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians, Persians, Gauls, and even Germans did not have that particular accusation leveled against them.

Concluding that the the consistent Jewish and Roman reports on Canaanite religious practices were nothing more than propaganda was a 20th century liberal arts department thing.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (eYoxG)

113 109 But Audrey Hepburn played an Indian in a western with Burt Lancaster and Audie Murphy that I can't remember right now.
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 04:44 PM (N3zMI)

=======

The Unforgiven, a John Huston joint.

It's not very good, though most people seem to like it okay. I think it's dumb and messed up.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (GBKbO)

114 It's the Altitude that gets them.
_________

That's why you'll never see them in the Air Force.

Posted by: Joe Biden at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (lf83v)

115 The George Floyd Story into a movie ???? Hunter Biden in the role of George Floyd and Trump and his son as the RACISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST Police ????

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (rcLES)

116 >> also, wouldn't the cold of the Alps kill the elephants?

No. Elephants love the cold.

It's the Altitude that gets them.
Posted by: garrett
.......

and the mice.

Posted by: wth at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (v0R5T)

117 What kind of Glorious Race had to constantly claim great historical figures from other races as their own to validate their own greatness?

Seems kinda .... pathetic.

Like the Rainbow Humans always being forced to celebrate another "first" that's just a lame micro-deliniation of some feat already accomplished endlessly by non-Rainbows.

Anyway, I'm pitching my movie about 8 foot tall Africans riding dinosaurs while they build the pyramids.
It's logically consistent with current History.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice - Personality Commentator at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (TzW+Y)

118
Charlie Chan was played by a Swedish guy.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (MoZTd)

119 also, wouldn't the cold of the Alps kill the elephants?
Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023

***
It might have. Though big mammals have an advantage in cold climates; I think it's that the inverse square law means that they have actually less skin to radiate body heat in proportion to their interior volumes than smaller mammals. Not sure. We had mammoths and mastodons during the ice ages, but then they were covered with hair for insulation.

Possibly the cold did kill some of them, and some slipped off an icy ledge during the trek and fell into a crevasse, stuff like that.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (J2vNu)

120 Alec Baldwin, an asshole, played an asshole.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (CwhoI)

121 Natalie Wood (of Russian descent) played an Indian is some movie
*
The Searchers I think?
Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023

***
That's it. Actually she plays John Wayne's niece, a white girl abducted by the "Comanch."
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:41 PM (J2vNu)

Well yeah, she wasn't Indian, but she had a little Indian in her.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (dGCAG)

122 Snoop Dog IS Joe Biden in:

Got My Mind On My Money

in theaters January 2024

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (geLO8)

123 imdb - I frequently appeared as asian characters, despite having no proven asian ancestry.

_______
Well I never - why didn't they capitalize Asian?

Posted by: Zombie Warner Oland at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (RilAR)

124 It was actually a misinterpretation of the texts. Hannibal crossed the alps in elegance.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (NYzgN)

125 I would like to remind everyone of The Woman King:

An actiony Oscar bait movie from last year that whitewashed the history of an African tribe, changing them from some of the fiercest slavers in the region to...anti-slavers.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (GBKbO)

126 wouldn't the cold of the Alps kill the elephants?

Hannibal used Woolly Mammoths which were native to the Sahara Desert.

They died off due to climate change caused by the Roman Republics overuse of gas powered leaf blowers.

Posted by: Archer at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (gmo/4)

127
Fvck Tunisia, that's where Fauci outsourced the torture of beagles because islamists don't have a problem with torturing dogs.

Sick bastids.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (enJYY)

128 Hannibal crossed the alps in elegance.
________

Can elephants flounce?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (lf83v)

129 Myrna Loy played an Asian and a dot-Indian!

Of course, as far as I'm concerned, Myrna can play anything and I'll watch.
Posted by: spindrift at December 14, 2023

***
I know she played Dr. Fu Manchu's daughter in one of the early films. Not sure about the Indian -- a princess of some kind, I'll warrant.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (J2vNu)

130 =======

The Unforgiven, a John Huston joint.

It's not very good, though most people seem to like it okay. I think it's dumb and messed up.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:45 PM (GBKbO)

Thanks! Didn't like it myself, but it's also the only movie I recall where Murphy really emoted (because he was playing a drunk).

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (N3zMI)

131 The main problem with the Alps is that the air is so thin, the elephants can't take flight.
There simply isn't a Feather Large enough.

Posted by: garrett at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (+Rtz8)

132 >>>Well yeah, she wasn't Indian, but she had a little Indian in her.

No comment.

Posted by: Jay Silverheels at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (CwhoI)

133 I don’t know where Hannibal got his elephants, but did you know that elephants almost never get cancer?

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (uKeRS)

134 Since everyone is getting race-swapped, which black actor gets to play Hitler?

Posted by: Eeyore at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (brAQZ)

135 Well, the gloating over the failure to oust Claudine Gay has begun, with the history already being rewritten

She'll "retire" in a year. That way Harvard can claim that they didn't bow to pressure, but she's a huge liability as long as she stays in that job.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 14, 2023 04:48 PM (YAtuc)

136 And then there's the latest Netflix offering from "Higher Ground" productions, aka the Obama's, called "Leave the World Behind."

I'll share this little gem from the film: "If the world falls apart trust should not be doled out easily especially to white people."

Posted by: Halfhand at December 14, 2023 04:48 PM (E+3bw)

137 No. Elephants love the cold.

It's the Altitude that gets them.
Posted by: garrett at December 14, 2023 04:44 PM (+Rtz

The main reason you don't see elephants in the arctic circle is a diet that contains a significant amount of whale blubber would just make them fat.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:48 PM (dGCAG)

138 130 Thanks! Didn't like it myself, but it's also the only movie I recall where Murphy really emoted (because he was playing a drunk).
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (N3zMI)

=======

I haven't seen much of Audie Murphy, but I did like him as the youth in Red Badge of Courage (also a Huston joint).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:48 PM (GBKbO)

139 Hannitybal was a great Carthaginian.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (bDHsC)

140 "Since everyone is getting race-swapped, which black actor gets to play Hitler?
Posted by: Eeyore"

Hitler will always be white. Just like Idi Amin

Posted by: Ripley at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (JojsZ)

141 KJP stated today when asked about Hunter Biden affecting his Father's Administration that it is a proven and known fact that Hunter Biden is not Joe's Biological Child and was brought by the Stork. With that said the Repubilcans should drop this farce of a impeachment investigation...

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (rcLES)

142 An actiony Oscar bait movie from last year that whitewashed the history of an African tribe, changing them from some of the fiercest slavers in the region to...anti-slavers.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 0

....

I bet they would be willing to race swap that movie from black to white and have them be slavers again though.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (X7yt5)

143 " How awesome is it that the racial and cultural grievance obsessed Hollywood producers didn't stop to consider that the Tunisians might be upset that their hero is portrayed as a black man."

No one outside their own enclave is actually real to them.

Who considers the opinions of imaginary people?

Posted by: FeatherBlade at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (ou9hh)

144 Hannibal crossed the Alps with his elephants in the summer so the elephants didn't freeze. He pushed down the peninsula and crushed the Romans at Cannae, killing more soldiers in a single day than any other

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (IZPBd)

145 The main problem with the Alps is that the air is so thin, the elephants can't take flight.
There simply isn't a Feather Large enough.

The other problem is that there are no cherry trees, so the elephants who painted their toes red to hide in cherry trees were easily spotted.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (CsUN+)

146 I can't believe Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Racist is one thing, dumb is another. Struck me as dumb at 12, watching it with my Grandma on TV.

Posted by: DOYLE at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (Z8Yh2)

147 Best race swap ever was Charlie Chan.

Warner Oland was Da Bomb! I always thought he was a Chinaman.

"Regret do not understand English - only American."

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (mQ8ar)

148 A race swap flick is an automatic hard pass from me.. no exceptions.

Posted by: tubal at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (PCK5/)

149 I don’t care, I'll watch anything with Denzel in it.

Posted by: chris+opher at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (dSco/)

150 IIRC, most of Hannibal's elephants died in the Alps due to slips and falls in the ice and snow.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (N3zMI)

151 I mean in this case it's not QUITE so egregious, as Denzel Washington is a great actor and a relatively big name in Hollywood.

It's far more egregious when they cast no-name idiots with no talent Because Black.

Posted by: DudeAbiding at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (setIA)

152 Since everyone is getting race-swapped, which black actor gets to play Hitler?
Posted by: Eeyore

I'd say Sherman Hemsley, but he's dead.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (R4t5M)

153 BREAKING: Samuel L. Jackson Set to Star as Titular Character in "Wonder Woman, MOTHERFUCKER!" Developing ...

Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (+zNfy)

154 136 And then there's the latest Netflix offering from "Higher Ground" productions, aka the Obama's, called "Leave the World Behind."

I'll share this little gem from the film: "If the world falls apart trust should not be doled out easily especially to white people."
Posted by: Halfhand at December 14, 2023 04:48 PM (E+3bw)

========

Oh, man, I hope no white people hear this eliminationist rhetoric and decide that the social betters that run our institutions have ill feelings towards them.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (GBKbO)

155 Iirc, the species was called the Syrian elephant. Smaller than the modern day Savannah species, but more tusk-u-lar ??? than the Indian variety.

Hunted to extinction along with North African bears, lions, et al.

Posted by: Adriane the YouTube Critic . . . at December 14, 2023 04:50 PM (4Winp)

156 >>did you know that elephants almost never get cancer?

Their polymerases never forget.

Posted by: garrett at December 14, 2023 04:50 PM (+Rtz8)

157 I'll share this little gem from the film: "If the world falls apart trust should not be doled out easily especially to white people."

Imagine the reaction if someone in a movie had said:

"If the world falls apart trust should not be doled out easily especially to black people."

Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 14, 2023 04:50 PM (YAtuc)

158 Posted by: Ripley at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (JojsZ)

It's not a surprise but I wouldn't say that Harvard has won. Now everybody knows that not only are they anti semetic but their reputation of a school with stellar academics has taken a beating because of Gay's plagiarism . Anyone who was paying attention knows that she stole material from a Black woman professor and that, in addition, she has been extremely poor in her performance as President and against Black professors too. Will people shriek about racism? Of course, but that's something new.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (RSbhh)

159 Since everyone is getting race-swapped, which black actor gets to play Hitler?
Posted by: Eeyore at December 14, 2023 04:47 PM (brAQZ)

Tim Meadows. he needs the work.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Aspiring Codger at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (xPJvm)

160 Are they going to show the Carthage religious practices? You know, baby sacrifices to pagan gods? It wasn't a bad thing what the Roman's did to Carthage.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (sAmhv)

161 Saw a claim that the Alpine region was much warmer at the time of the 2nd Punic wars, and the cold was not much of a factor

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (481GL)

162 And we can't have the black guy lose to a white guy -- clearly Scipio Africanus was African too -- it's right there in his name FFS!!

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (krqg6)

163 Denzel W. , who I respect in some ways, should have considered this role very carefully. He is not hard up for money or exposre.

Posted by: tubal at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (PCK5/)

164 Robert DeNiro as... The Irishman
The horror... the. HORROR!
Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:36 PM (dGCAG)
------------------------------------
Robert DeNiro has more Irish ancestry than Italian. Though he's played characters of other ethnicities as well.

Posted by: My Ridiculously Circuitous Plan at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (4n6y0)

165 Did the Tunisians invent Tuna Helper?

Posted by: Julia Stepchild at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (83IzV)

166 161 Saw a claim that the Alpine region was much warmer at the time of the 2nd Punic wars, and the cold was not much of a factor
Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (481GL)

=========

Because of the Roman SUVs?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (GBKbO)

167 Hillary " Elephant Ass" Clinton has released a Rap Song Remake called.....

"Baby's Got Back". She said it is modeled after her juicy booty that eveyone wants more then dating AOC....

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (rcLES)

168 >IIRC, most of Hannibal's elephants died in the Alps due to slips and falls in the ice and snow.
---

should have retained Unfrozen Cave Man Lawyer as counsel

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (geLO8)

169 It was actually a misinterpretation of the texts. Hannibal crossed the alps in elegance.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:46 PM (NYzgN)

My uncle had a '74 Chrysler Elegance.

We thought it was so cool, having automatic window controls.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (dGCAG)

170 Hannitybal was a great Carthaginian.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (bDHsC)
.......

I heard he grew up working in the trades, then studied MMA.

Posted by: wth at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (v0R5T)

171 You just know the Roman legionaries at the battle of Cannae will be wearing MAGA hats.

Posted by: Beartooth at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (4iIQh)

172 Hannibal was 29 when the 2nd Punic War started.

But why is everyone talking about actors who present as male, anyway? Why not cast Lizzo? She can carry the elephant.

Posted by: Eeyore at December 14, 2023 04:52 PM (brAQZ)

173 Saw a claim that the Alpine region was much warmer at the time of the 2nd Punic wars, and the cold was not much of a factor

It was all the Romans driving SUVs.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:52 PM (CsUN+)

174 Wait, no. I forgot, his full name was "Scipio Africanus", which means he must have been black, so we'll get the chick from The Little Mermaid to play him.

Mulvaney can be Fabulous Maximus.
Posted by: Cave Johnson at December 14, 2023

***
Scipio took that nickname, "Africanus," after defeating Hannibal at last in Africa near Carthage. The two men admired each other and studied each other's strategy.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:52 PM (J2vNu)

175 Since everyone is getting race-swapped, which black actor gets to play Hitler?
Posted by: Eeyore

I'd say Sherman Hemsley, but he's dead.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (R4t5M)

-------------

LMAO.

Too bad Red Foxx isn't around for the Lenny Bruce biopic.

Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 04:52 PM (+zNfy)

176 Hasan Minhaj Is King George in the Mahatma Gandhi story.

Kurt Russel plays the part of Gandhi.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:52 PM (NYzgN)

177 Because of the Roman SUVs?

It was all the Romans driving SUVs.

Beat me to it.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (CsUN+)

178 The Romans were some of history's biggest assholes.

The fact that two of the most popular saying from their reign were against Carthage tells something not good.

Carthage delenda est and salt the earth.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice - Personality Commentator at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (TzW+Y)

179 >Because of the Roman SUVs?
---

the Suburbanicus and the Tahocles

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (geLO8)

180 I didn't know elephants were as tall as a ten story building until I saw Return of the King.
Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (CsUN+)
---
Those were "oliphaunts."

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (7fElN)

181 You're confused, ace.

George Peppard played John "Hannibal" Smith and Mr. T played B.A. Baracus.

Posted by: imdb_bot at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (6ydKt)

182 Carthaginians are Phoenicians that moved west right? So Lebanese?

Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (MNhXM)

183 136 And then there's the latest Netflix offering from "Higher Ground" productions, aka the Obama's, called "Leave the World Behind."

I'll share this little gem from the film: "If the world falls apart trust should not be doled out easily especially to white people."
Posted by: Halfhand

There is an unintended reverse message with that. Don't trust black people, ever. Probably the intent since it's that faggot Lightbringer involved. Him being so unifying and shit.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (sAmhv)

184 I would like to espouse some hate for modern casting directors. It appears they all failed chemistry.

Posted by: DOYLE at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (Z8Yh2)

185 Netflix once again race-swaps a historical figure, this time casting Denzel Washington as Hannibal, who was Phoenician.

I guess they figure, well, Carthage was in Africa, and people are stupid, so they won't know the difference, right?

American blacks have been bred to be mentally and emotionally weak. As a result, they demand, and their keepers provide, that any fictional character who can be shown as having redeeming qualities must be Black. Villains, on the other hand, must always be White. This constant refrain reinforces the narrative and primes them to lash out in ever increasing frequency, and ferocity, at their "enemies".

All of this feeds chaos and fuels calls among the immature for the government to step in and protect them from the forces being fomented by the people who control the government.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at December 14, 2023 04:54 PM (1Z8zZ)

186 161 Saw a claim that the Alpine region was much warmer at the time of the 2nd Punic wars, and the cold was not much of a factor
Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at December 14, 2023 04:51 PM (481GL)

Would've been during the Roman warm period.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at December 14, 2023 04:54 PM (eYoxG)

187 Because of the Roman SUVs?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

Elephant farts.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:54 PM (NYzgN)

188 Wait, no. I forgot, his full name was "Scipio Africanus", which means he must have been black, so we'll get the chick from The Little Mermaid to play him.

Mulvaney can be Fabulous Maximus.

I believe his Greek name was Nullus Testicules.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:54 PM (CsUN+)

189 Hannibal is known mostly for the Elephant thing...
but, he also had the strategic foresight to bring a shit load of dimes.
A fact that often goes overlooked in the historical records that followed.

Posted by: garrett at December 14, 2023 04:54 PM (+Rtz8)

190 Apocolypse Now staring "Joe Biden" as Colonel Kurtz........

" THE HORROR" ............. "THE HORROR" !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at December 14, 2023 04:54 PM (rcLES)

191 >>>Kurt Russel plays the part of Gandhi.

"You know what Mo Gandhi says at a time like this. Ol Mo looks him right in the eye, and says, 'what the hell'..."

Posted by: Jay Silverheels at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (CwhoI)

192 The Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians, Persians, Gauls, and even Germans did not have that particular accusation leveled against them.

The Greeks and Romans did practice abandonment {but not religious sacrifice} of unwanted children, mostly girls and the handicapped.

Posted by: Adriane the YouTube Critic . . . at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (4Winp)

193 Race-swapping is egregious and exacerbating.

Posted by: Chief Wild Eagle, Frank de Kova at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (83IzV)

194 149 I don’t care, I'll watch anything with Denzel in it.
Posted by: chris+opher

Me too! That Denzel is dreamy, but very busy.
http://tinyurl.com/3c3ba9y3

Posted by: Foxxy Love at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (JCZqz)

195 Are they going to show the Carthage religious practices? You know, baby sacrifices to pagan gods? It wasn't a bad thing what the Roman's did to Carthage.
Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023

***
I wouldn't be surprised if Roman generals and consuls used the baby sacrifice meme (so to speak) to gin up horror against Carthage and enthusiasm for sending their young men off to war. But Rome and Carthage didn't go to war for ideological reasons. They believed only one great power could rule the Mediterranean, and the "town" wasn't big enough for both of them.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (J2vNu)

196 I was just in Target(I know but it is right across the street) and there is a full size Santa statue as you enter the store and he's black.
It just seems so incongruous.

Posted by: sharon(willow's apprentice) at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (t/2Uw)

197 Bill Clinton was 29 when the 2nd Pubic War started.

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (rcLES)

198 OT; my company is cleaning up right now because a competitor (Black and Veatch) made all their employees sign some sort of values statement as a condition of continued employment. Sounds like it was some flavor of DEI manifesto.

We happened to have opened a location a year ago near an important office and we are picking off an amazing group of talent and their clients are following them; like we are signing new clients up within the same week some of these key hires have joined.

There is some notion this is B&V positioning themselves to be bought out (the DEI thing) and they are close enough to the sale that the staff changes are not a concern to them--they will walk away with the money. The buyer is going to get a hollowed out shell.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (X7yt5)

199 :Because of the Roman SUVs?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison"

No, because global warming is so bad it is changing the climate in the past.

Posted by: Ripley at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (JojsZ)

200 Lawrence Olivier playing an Arab in 'Khartoum' and of course Othello.

Posted by: dantesed at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (88xKn)

201 >Apocolypse Now staring "Joe Biden" as Colonel Kurtz........

" THE HORROR" ............. "THE HORROR" !!!!!!!!!!!!!

---
Elmer Fudd
"Da howwah... da howwah..."

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (geLO8)

202 I'll share this little gem from the film: "If the world falls apart trust should not be doled out easily especially to white people."
Posted by: Halfhand at December 14, 2023 04:48 PM (E+3bw)

But apparently we should completely trust BLM, Rev Sharpton, and St. George of Floyd.

Posted by: tcn in AK, hail to the thief at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (EHSip)

203 About 50k Carthaginians survived the 2nd Punic war but were all sold as slaves throughout the Roman Empire if I remember my High School history correctly.

Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (MNhXM)

204 Still can't believe Al Pacino was the star of Scarface. 10 million Latinos in the LA area, and they get an Italian who butchers the accent.

Posted by: Wally at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (hqVaF)

205 Alec Guinness as King Faud

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (geLO8)

206 I actually like a lot of Antoine Fuqua movies.
The "Fallen" ones (particularly the one with Nolte as the estranged dad of Butler), Equalizers, Shooter.

Had not heard about this one, but I think as a director he has more hits than misses.

Posted by: barbarausa at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (enw9G)

207 Blacks are top of the intersectionality stack, and everyone had better remember."
-Dave Chapelle

Eventually there will be enough Indians and hispanics in the country. A lot of people are going to be in for a surprise then.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (1Z8zZ)

208 Too bad Red Foxx isn't around for the Lenny Bruce biopic.
Posted by: ShainS

Red Foxx would bring much needed humor to a Lenny Bruce biopic.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (sAmhv)

209 I wouldn't be expecting a true historical representation of Hannibal. The guy writing the script is the same guy that wrote "Gladiator."

(and now for something completely different)

knock knock
who's there?
Gladiator
Gladiator who?
Gladiator before the Gang Bang

Posted by: Orson at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (dIske)

210 Alec Guinness in Lawrence of Arabia.

I won't buy another Star Wars thing until Disney apologizes for that racist's presence in the original trilogy!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (GBKbO)

211 The tale goes that all of Hannibal's elephants died on the trek across the Alps except one, and that one was Hannibal's own mount. (Awww --) Don't know if that's true. African elephants are not easy to tame; I suspect they used something more like today's Indian elephants, or a cross-breed strain.
--------------
All of the elephants made it across the Alps. They died later.

The elephants used by Hannibal were a now-extinct species called the Forest Loxodon, then endemic to North Africa. They were smaller than Indian elephants.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (ScR16)

212 Imagine the reaction if someone in a movie had said:

"If the world falls apart trust should not be doled out easily especially to black people."

Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 14, 2023 04:50 PM (YAtuc)

----------

[In best Maxwell Smart voice:]

"Would you settle for '... especially Harvard University Presidents?'"

Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (+zNfy)

213 Hannibal used Woolly Mammoths which were native to the Sahara Desert.

They died off due to climate change caused by the Roman Republics overuse of gas powered leaf blowers.

Posted by: Archer at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (gmo/4)

214 Did Tunisians wear tunics in the punic wars?

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (NYzgN)

215 196 I was just in Target(I know but it is right across the street) and there is a full size Santa statue as you enter the store and he's black.
It just seems so incongruous.
Posted by: sharon(willow's apprentice) at December 14, 2023 04:55 PM (t/2Uw)

St. Nicholas was Greek and Sinterclaus came from the Netherlands.

No idea where black Santa came from, except the DIE department of some idiot corporate board.

Posted by: tcn in AK, hail to the thief at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (EHSip)

216 When exactly did Hannibal start eating liver with a nice Chianti?

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (CsUN+)

217 Ah, damn, forgot the fava beans.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:58 PM (CsUN+)

218 200 Lawrence Olivier playing an Arab in 'Khartoum' and of course Othello.
Posted by: dantesed at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (88xKn)

Heh. I finally, finally got to see "Khartoum" just before Netflix shut down its DVD service.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 04:58 PM (N3zMI)

219 My first reference to Santa being black was "Welcome Back Kotter", Washington singing it rasta style. '77 maybe.

Posted by: DOYLE at December 14, 2023 04:58 PM (Z8Yh2)

220 Carthaginians!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 04:58 PM (di6C2)

221 Darn.

Beaten to an Africanus comment.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 04:58 PM (krqg6)

222 176 Hasan Minhaj Is King George in the Mahatma Gandhi story.

Kurt Russel plays the part of Gandhi.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy

Who drives a truck, wears an eye patch, and fights The Thing! I like it!

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 04:58 PM (sAmhv)

223 Tunisians are Arabs. Arab invaders of North Africa. Arab colonizers of North Africa. Arab OCCUPIERS of North Africa.
Posted by: rechill at December 14, 2023 04:33 PM (Q1LXu)

That invasion came later, and likely didn't change the demographics a lot. The Arabs conquered all of North Africa with about 15000 men.

The Carthaginians, were also 'invaders' being immigrants from Phoenicia, basically Syrian coast and Lebanon. They weren't black, though there might have been a few about since they were a trading people and did explore the coast of Africa. Not blue eyed northern types, but standard Mediterranean sorts.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (eoQWY)

224 Yo, no one ibothered to inform the people of Tunisia that they be black now?

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (EGSGm)

225
Sherman Helmsley is going to play Thomas Jefferson.

Posted by: Hunter Biden at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (+oR7L)

226 And in other movie news: Netflix is now advertising "Beverly Hills: Axel F" on YouTube, which is apparently a new flick with all the original actors. Due out in Summer '24.

Posted by: imdb_bot at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (6ydKt)

227 Tonight's movie is The Bitter Tea of General Yen where General Yen is played by Nils Asther.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 04:33 PM (GBKbO)

I looked up some photos of Nils Asther. He constantly had a very serious expression despite being a bit effeminate. In short, he was the very model of a modern Major General.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (1Z8zZ)

228 203 About 50k Carthaginians survived the 2nd Punic war but were all sold as slaves throughout the Roman Empire if I remember my High School history correctly.
Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (MNhXM)

That may be specific to the city of Carthage itself. Most of their territories were not particularly ravaged.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (eYoxG)

229 Nothing on casting directors failing chemistry? That was comedy bronze.

Posted by: DOYLE at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (Z8Yh2)

230 We thought it was so cool, having automatic window controls.
Posted by: BurtTC at

...
Killed a station wagon battery one time as kids playing with the automatic seats. On vacation. In the mountains.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 14, 2023 05:00 PM (X7yt5)

231 Who made the color guard colored?

Posted by: Archer at December 14, 2023 05:00 PM (gmo/4)

232 Carthage also sacrificed Children, which until recently it was thought that it was Roman Propaganda and they found many child skeletons, so like the Spanish the Romans did nothing wrong.

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at December 14, 2023 05:00 PM (dKiJG)

233 And in other movie news: Netflix is now advertising "Beverly Hills: Axel F" on YouTube, which is apparently a new flick with all the original actors. Due out in Summer '24.

Eddie Murphy is now 62. Is he still going to be hanging out the back of trucks?

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 05:00 PM (CsUN+)

234 226 And in other movie news: Netflix is now advertising "Beverly Hills: Axel F" on YouTube, which is apparently a new flick with all the original actors. Due out in Summer '24.
Posted by: imdb_bot at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (6ydKt)

=========

Another $150 million investment that won't increase their subscription numbers by that amount.

Streaming is a giant scam on investors. I wish they'd figure it out.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 05:00 PM (GBKbO)

235 Anybody remember Budweiser's promotional campaign from sometime in the late 1970s which featured posters of "The Great Kings of Africa"? Hannibal looked something like a portly Garrett Morris, and Cleopatra (yeah, I know, she wasn't a king, but I'm not the one who put the series together) resembled Cicely Tyson. The office of the director of University of Miami's affirmative action department were adorned with a complete set (collect them all!)

Posted by: Paco at December 14, 2023 05:00 PM (njExo)

236 Hasan Minhaj > Nicki Minaj

Posted by: Moron Math at December 14, 2023 05:00 PM (JCZqz)

237 A NIGHT IN TUNISIA

https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=abHkDjYRY4w

Posted by: ELLA FITZGERALD at December 14, 2023 05:01 PM (+Rtz8)

238 Carthage delenda est and salt the earth.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice - Personality Commentator at December 14, 2023

***
Cato the Elder did finish every speech he made in the Senate with those three words, no matter what the topic was. (Cato was, well, let's say he would not have been fun at parties. And he wouldn't care. The man freed hsi elderly slaves when they were too old to work, to save the cost of feeding them.)

As for the salting the earth where Carthage had stood, one of my history teachers thought that was unlikely. Carthage and that area were really good prime land for Roman colonies and farms; they would not have been inclined to waste them. Possibly they salted one area, symbolically, and then took over the rest of it.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 05:01 PM (J2vNu)

239 Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (eYoxG)

Yes I was referring to the city of Carthage.

Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:01 PM (MNhXM)

240 And in other movie news: Netflix is now advertising "Beverly Hills: Axel F" on YouTube, which is apparently a new flick with all the original actors. Due out in Summer '24.
Posted by: imdb_bot at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (6ydKt)

=====

Everything old is new again.

Posted by: Jordan61 at December 14, 2023 05:01 PM (DRSnL)

241 Did Tunisians wear tunics in the punic wars?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (NYzgN)

Chiton is the Greek name for tunic. Tunic is the Roman name for the same sort of outerwear.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:01 PM (eoQWY)

242 Red Foxx would bring much needed humor to a Lenny Bruce biopic.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 04:56 PM (sAmhv)

----------

LOL &:well-played.

Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 05:01 PM (m2qJm)

243 Those were "oliphaunts."

Not heffalumps?

Posted by: A Bear of Very Little Brains at December 14, 2023 05:02 PM (nfrXX)

244
I mean in this case it's not QUITE so egregious, as Denzel Washington is a great actor and a relatively big name in Hollywood.

It's far more egregious when they cast no-name idiots with no talent Because Black.
Posted by: DudeAbiding at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (setIA)

Denzel is pretty much the only actor in the world who's good enough to convincingly do the race-swap and make me forget that he's a different ethnicity than the original character. Idris Elba comes close, but not quite there.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 14, 2023 05:02 PM (n+4am)

245 Those were "oliphaunts."

Not heffalumps?

And what of the woozles? WHAT OF THE WOOZLES???

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 05:02 PM (CsUN+)

246 Not to be outdone Disney’s Percy Jackson is updated the Characters FOR MODEREN AUDIENCES

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at December 14, 2023 05:02 PM (dKiJG)

247 "Sherman Helmsley is going to play Thomas Jefferson.
Posted by: Hunter Biden"

He essentially played Archie Bunker.

Posted by: fd at December 14, 2023 05:03 PM (vFG9F)

248 Rich Carthaginian leather.

Posted by: Archer at December 14, 2023 05:03 PM (gmo/4)

249 Denzel is pretty much the only actor in the world who's good enough to convincingly do the race-swap and make me forget that he's a different ethnicity than the original character. Idris Elba comes close, but not quite there.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 14, 2023 05:02 PM (n+4am)

Absolutely concur. He is that good!

Posted by: Diogenes at December 14, 2023 05:03 PM (W/lyH)

250 Idris Elba comes close, but not quite there.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 14, 2023 05:02 PM (n+4am)
--------------
"TODAY, WE ARE CANCELLIN' THE APOCALYPSE!!!"

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:03 PM (ScR16)

251 I'm getting tired of these Christmas e-card with no money in them.

Posted by: fd at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (vFG9F)

252 As for the salting the earth where Carthage had stood, one of my history teachers thought that was unlikely. Carthage and that area were really good prime land for Roman colonies and farms; they would not have been inclined to waste them. Possibly they salted one area, symbolically, and then took over the rest of it.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 05:01 PM (J2vNu)

Carthage, being a city isn't growing much on it in any case. The city was razed for a while, about 100 years after which Rome rebuilt the city. After the Vandals took it over it was the base from which Rome was sacked in 455 AD

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (eoQWY)

253 Did Tunisians wear tunics in the punic wars?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (NYzgN)
......

Only to cover their pubics.

Posted by: wth at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (v0R5T)

254 246 Not to be outdone Disney’s Percy Jackson is updated the Characters FOR MODEREN AUDIENCES
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at December 14, 2023 05:02 PM (dKiJG)

My daughters were all yuge fans of the Percy Jackson book series. They didn't think much of the first set of movies but they're seething over what they've read of the new one(s).

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (N3zMI)

255 Judge Reinhold and the other guy look WAY over 29.

Posted by: imdb_bot at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (6ydKt)

256 I was always partial to seeing Gilbert Gottfried in all the historical roles. Unfortunately, he has assumed room temperature (as has Paul Reubens)...so now I need another go to historical character actor.
Posted by: Orson

Bobcat Goldthwaite is still on this side of the sod.

Posted by: mikeski at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (wqjuY)

257 Saw a claim that the Alpine region was much warmer at the time of the 2nd Punic wars, and the cold was not much of a factor
Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks
--------
Because of the Roman SUVs?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison,
=====
I saw some English bint on Ontario's version of PBS claim the Roman Warm Period was caused by Roman industrial pollution, using silver mining and smelting in Spain as an example.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (krqg6)

258 Was The Equalizer 3 any good?

Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (MNhXM)

259 And in other movie news: Netflix is now advertising "Beverly Hills: Axel F" on YouTube, which is apparently a new flick with all the original actors. Due out in Summer '24.

I sat next to Judge Reinhold on a flight to Liryle Rock (where he lives) and we talked the whole way. Really great guy.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (X7yt5)

260 As said willowed, have a meet up with old coworkers

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (UYagu)

261 The way they are making all these historical figures black is like having to suffer through another round of a stoner telling you how famous so-and-so smoked pot.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice - Personality Commentator at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (TzW+Y)

262 Denzel is pretty much the only actor in the world who's good enough to convincingly do the race-swap and make me forget that he's a different ethnicity than the original character. Idris Elba comes close, but not quite there.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 14, 2023 05:02 PM (n+4am)

I think zombie Anthony Quinn would have been a better choice.

Posted by: dantesed at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (88xKn)

263 My bank sends me an e-card every year and I don't send them anything. Well, except for my money.

Posted by: fd at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (vFG9F)

264 207 Blacks are top of the intersectionality stack, and everyone had better remember."
-Dave Chapelle

Eventually there will be enough Indians and hispanics in the country. A lot of people are going to be in for a surprise then.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic

Yep. Indians are slipping into CEO positions and enforcing a corporate caste system. That will get worse. Ole Dave's precious intersectionality stack will be moot at that point.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (sAmhv)

265 This doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that the elephants will be played by armadillos.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (FVME7)

266 And in other movie news: Netflix is now advertising "Beverly Hills: Axel F" on YouTube, which is apparently a new flick with all the original actors. Due out in Summer '24.

Posted by: imdb_bot at December 14, 2023 04:59 PM (6ydKt)

---------

Are The Pointer Sisters still around?

Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (m2qJm)

267 178 The Romans were some of history's biggest assholes.

The fact that two of the most popular saying from their reign were against Carthage tells something not good.

Carthage delenda est and salt the earth.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice - Personality Commentator at December 14, 2023 04:53 PM (TzW+Y)

Hannibal was a great general.

However, he made this one mistake: he wounded the Romans, but he did not finish them off. This is not softball league here. If you fought and wounded but did not bury this particular group of assholes, then they would bury you.

The population of the city of Rome declined by something like 17% during the second punic war. More than decimation. That meant they were always going to destroy Carthage. It was just a matter of time.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (di6C2)

268 It's far more egregious when they cast no-name idiots with no talent Because Black.
Posted by: DudeAbiding at December 14, 2023 04:49 PM (setIA)

Denzel is pretty much the only actor in the world who's good enough to convincingly do the race-swap and make me forget that he's a different ethnicity than the original character. Idris Elba comes close, but not quite there.

Critical Drinker's latest discusses Disney's pathetic ploy of having Rachel Zegler talking with Halle Bailey, the black woman who played Ariel the mermaid, and is not a total an ***hole as RZ, or at least covers it better. Apparently, the idea was to have them chatting like two old pals, so that the unwashed masses could see that RZ wasn't the bi*** we all think she is.

It fails miserably.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (CsUN+)

269 Of course, but that's something new.

Meant that it's not something new.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (RSbhh)

270 257 I saw some English bint on Ontario's version of PBS claim the Roman Warm Period was caused by Roman industrial pollution, using silver mining and smelting in Spain as an example.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (krqg6)

========

So, let's assume that's true.

That level of pollution is miniscule compared to what is going on today. Why is the warming now not orders of magnitude higher than then?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, watching some more Best Pictures at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (GBKbO)

271 Redd Foxx had a joke about washing your ass that always stuck with me. Just in case.

Posted by: DOYLE at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (Z8Yh2)

272 Apparently Denzel was the Equalizer? Which is ironic that he was racially equalizing the role of equalizer

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (NYzgN)

273 Black Hannibal makes sense... we had a white Lamont the big dummy for a while.

Posted by: 496 at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (YEc7e)

274 Bobcat Goldthwaite is still on this side of the sod.
Posted by: mikeski at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (wqjuY)

Watched "Scrooged" with wife and eldest daughter the other night. I've always liked it but mayun did it lay an egg with those two.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (N3zMI)

275 This doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that the elephants will be played by armadillos.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (FVME7)

---------

Funniest thread around here in awhile.

Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (m2qJm)

276 I honestly do not care about the race swap.

I just figure they are going to portray the Romans as all evil and the Carthaginians as all good- amongst other retardations.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (di6C2)

277 I'm friken done looking for spider man!!! I'm over it!!

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (ytSiK)

278 Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F - Teaser Trailer

https://youtu.be/qBG3iyr5N70

For anybody interested in seeing some aged favorites.

Posted by: imdb_bot at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (6ydKt)

279 I acquired elephantiasis whilst traversing the Alps.

Posted by: All Swoled Up! at December 14, 2023 05:07 PM (83IzV)

280 I'm getting tired of these Christmas e-card with no money in them.
Posted by: fd at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (vFG9F)
......

You never should have got Grandma that computer.

Posted by: wth at December 14, 2023 05:07 PM (v0R5T)

281
I think zombie Anthony Quinn would have been a better choice.
Posted by: dantesed at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (88xKn)

Good luck getting Quinn for a new Netflix film...

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 14, 2023 05:07 PM (n+4am)

282 However, he made this one mistake: he wounded the Romans, but he did not finish them off. This is not softball league here. If you fought and wounded but did not bury this particular group of assholes, then they would bury you.
------------
"Hannibal, you know how to win a battle, but not a war."

----Stuff Hannibal's brother said.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:07 PM (ScR16)

283 Anybody remember Budweiser's promotional campaign from sometime in the late 1970s which featured posters of "The Great Kings of Africa"? Hannibal looked something like a portly Garrett Morris, and Cleopatra (yeah, I know, she wasn't a king, but I'm not the one who put the series together) resembled Cicely Tyson. The office of the director of University of Miami's affirmative action department were adorned with a complete set (collect them all!)
Posted by: Paco at December 14, 2023 05:00 PM (njExo)

I did see that, and even at that young age was disgusted, as everyone should be. Nothing was keeping you from discovering about real black heros in the US, or even Africa if white scholarship was lacking.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:07 PM (eoQWY)

284 Hannibal was a great general.

However, he made this one mistake: he wounded the Romans, but he did not finish them off. This is not softball league here. If you fought and wounded but did not bury this particular group of assholes, then they would bury you.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (di6C2)

He could not take Rome by siege and Fabius wisely stopped giving him field battles.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at December 14, 2023 05:07 PM (eYoxG)

285 St. Nicholas was Greek and Sinterclaus came from the Netherlands.

No idea where black Santa came from, except the DIE department of some idiot corporate board.
Posted by: tcn in AK, hail to the thief at December 14, 2023 04:57 PM (EHSip)

Come on, now. The real Santa is already whitewashed beyond recognition.

Sure, he kept a list of kids who were naughty and nice, because he was interested in the naughty ones. He left things in their stocking that were NOT toys. The story about him coming down the chimney was a warning, not an invitiation.

And he didn't live at the North Pole, but they did eventually chase him far enough out of town that it was easier to just tell the kids "oh he lives up there, has a workshop, lots of elves all over the place." It was just easier to tell them a little white lie.

But when you hang a Santa ornament on a tree? That's not the first time Santa was hanged on a tree.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 05:08 PM (dGCAG)

286 It's funny listening to enlightened moderns , many of whom (almost all in humanities departments) are enthusiastically pro-choice, opining about how child sacrifice in the ancient world had to be propaganda.

Posted by: Just classic "othering" of the enemy, lol at December 14, 2023 05:08 PM (ttzpt)

287 I sat next to Judge Reinhold on a flight to Liryle Rock (where he lives) and we talked the whole way. Really great guy.
Posted by: TexasDan

Interesting story about James Garner by Gerald McRaney. (3 minutes)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRhiLvfsa4c

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 14, 2023 05:08 PM (FVME7)

288 I saw some English bint on Ontario's version of PBS claim the Roman Warm Period was caused by Roman industrial pollution, using silver mining and smelting in Spain as an example.

One wonders if this woman thinks there's a wall around Europe that prevents pollution from circulating around the globe.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 05:08 PM (CsUN+)

289 The most hilarious DEI compliant commercial is a tie between the Heineken Viking commercial and the Coppertone suntan lotion commercial.

Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:10 PM (MNhXM)

290 Apparently Denzel was the Equalizer? Which is ironic that he was racially equalizing the role of equalizer

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 14, 2023 05:06 PM (NYzgN)

---------

Queen Latifah was The Equalizer before race- & gender-swapping became ubiquitous.

Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 05:10 PM (m2qJm)

291 The Third Punic War took place around 146 BC. A Roman Colony, Julia Carthago was settled around 29 BC (whether exactly on the same site subject for another day). But that said, if it was salted (which was an occasional practice of the Greeks and Persian) then it wasn't permanent.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 14, 2023 05:10 PM (kTMWW)

292 Hannibal was a great general.

However, he made this one mistake: he wounded the Romans, but he did not finish them off. This is not softball league here. If you fought and wounded but did not bury this particular group of assholes, then they would bury you.

The population of the city of Rome declined by something like 17% during the second punic war. More than decimation. That meant they were always going to destroy Carthage. It was just a matter of time.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023

***
Carthage was too cheap, or corrupt, or both to supply him properly. He had no siege equipment. If he had, he might have been able to take Rome. He came within sight of its walls on at least one occasion, and the Romans were terrified. But Hannibal had no way to besiege the city.

The other thing was this. The Romans did not give up. Usually in the ancient world, two armies would clash, and the loser became the vassal or property of the victor. Rome refused to do that and kept coming back and back again -- and with their allies (socii), they had the manpower to keep outfitting more legions and fighting on.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 05:10 PM (J2vNu)

293 Sinterclaus came from the Netherlands.

-
He had wooden boots?!!!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 14, 2023 05:10 PM (FVME7)

294 He could not take Rome by siege and Fabius wisely stopped giving him field battles.
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at December 14, 2023 05:07 PM (eYoxG)

Quintus Fabius had a plan.
It was not a popular plan.
It was not a plan to win the war.
It was not a plan to bring glory to Rome.
It was not even a plan to bring glory to Quitus Fabius.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:11 PM (di6C2)

295
I just figure they are going to portray the Romans as all evil and the Carthaginians as all good- amongst other retardations.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

__________

Read Flaubert's Salammbô, a novel of the Mercenary War, to see how all-good the Carthaginians were.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 14, 2023 05:11 PM (MoZTd)

296 So, let's assume that's true.

That level of pollution is miniscule compared to what is going on today. Why is the warming now not orders of magnitude higher than then?
------
And no Victorian Climate Optimum period for the coal-powered, let's say, 1880s and onwards?

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 05:11 PM (krqg6)

297 My daughters were all yuge fans of the Percy Jackson book series. They didn't think much of the first set of movies but they're seething over what they've read of the new one(s).
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 05:04 PM (N3zMI)

The latest books by Rick Riordan he went all in on the Trans and Gay agenda so I gave up on the books. Angel productions does WingFeather series and the Books are good.

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at December 14, 2023 05:11 PM (dKiJG)

298
Yassine Mami

Mami!

Posted by: Al Jolson at December 14, 2023 05:11 PM (63Dwl)

299
The most hilarious DEI compliant commercial is a tie between the Heineken Viking commercial and the Coppertone suntan lotion commercial.

Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:10 PM

Did the dog ever succeed in pulling down the little girls bathing suit bottom? Dad wants to know.

Posted by: Hunter B at December 14, 2023 05:11 PM (enJYY)

300
Hannibal never had the makings of a varsity general.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 14, 2023 05:12 PM (MoZTd)

301 This is a tough call. I really like Denzel.

Posted by: Max Power at December 14, 2023 05:12 PM (q177U)

302 I'd love to see Tom Hanks play Obama in a biopic, that would be great!

Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 14, 2023 05:12 PM (fs1hN)

303 Global warming in Roman times was caused by Roman industrial production…?.. Statements like these should tell us that we are dealing with Primitives, not rational beings…

Posted by: tubal at December 14, 2023 05:12 PM (PCK5/)

304 I saw some English bint on Ontario's version of PBS claim the Roman Warm Period was caused by Roman industrial pollution, using silver mining and smelting in Spain as an example.

-
It was chariot horse farts!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 14, 2023 05:13 PM (FVME7)

305 The Santa figure we see today is the creation of the Cocoa Cola advertisement department. Before that Santa Claus wasn’t so fat and even carried a saber .

Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:13 PM (MNhXM)

306 Are The Pointer Sisters still around?
Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 05:05 PM (m2qJm)

One of them passed away a couple years ago.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Aspiring Codger at December 14, 2023 05:13 PM (xPJvm)

307 Ironically, the only "super power" that women superheroes nowpossess is becoming a man.

Posted by: ShainS -- CISA Cognitive Security Agent at December 14, 2023 05:13 PM (m2qJm)

308 Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 05:10 PM (J2vNu)

He never had the manpower to take Rome. It was not necessarily about siege craft- it was bodies.

Remember, this was also a vendetta almost entirely of Hannibal's making. HE had sworn an oath to destroy Rome. Carthage was in the business of business. Taking Rome down a peg was all well and good as it opened up trade opportunities, but a war to the death? They did not know that was on the menu until Hannibal stepped off. And by that time, it was too late- he had committed them.

Hannibal destroyed Carthage as much as the Romans did.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:14 PM (di6C2)

309 305 The Santa figure we see today is the creation of the Cocoa Cola advertisement department. Before that Santa Claus wasn’t so fat and even carried a saber .
Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:13 PM (MNhXM)

Thomas Nast, the political cartoonist.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 05:14 PM (N3zMI)

310 So Hannibal was essentially Robert E. Lee, from another time… BTW, I wonder what black man will inevitably play Lee??

Posted by: tubal at December 14, 2023 05:14 PM (PCK5/)

311 I'd love to see Tom Hanks play Obama in a biopic, that would be great!
Posted by: Chuck Martel

Life is like a dog BBQ. You never know if you'll get poodle or daschund.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 14, 2023 05:14 PM (FVME7)

312
Roman industrial pollution, using silver mining and smelting in Spain as an example.

_________

Sulfur mining in Sicily. All that stuff in "Barabbas" pretty much continued into the 20th Century.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 14, 2023 05:15 PM (MoZTd)

313 "Dreams of my Father" starring Tom Hanks as the Lightbringer, The Rock as Michelle Obama, Harvey Keitel as Joe Biden, Dylan Mulveny as Dr. Jill Biden.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 14, 2023 05:15 PM (fs1hN)

314 Before that Santa Claus wasn’t so fat and even carried a saber .
Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:13 PM (MNhXM)

Chris Kringle gonna cut a bitch.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at December 14, 2023 05:15 PM (R4t5M)

315 I'd love to see Tom Hanks play Obama in a biopic, that would be great!
Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 14, 2023 05:12 PM (fs1hN)

I don't know. I just don't think Hanks could credibly simulate all the dick sucking.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 05:15 PM (dGCAG)

316 let's not forget Belschnickel

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2023 05:16 PM (geLO8)

317 I'm waiting for Dwayne Johnson as Mother Theresa.
John Cena as Rosa Parks.
Caitlyn Jenner as Malcolm X.

Posted by: JB1000 at December 14, 2023 05:16 PM (QkwU6)

318 "Before that Santa Claus wasn't so fat and even carried a saber."

Dude, I carried the Sabres for years. No one gives me cookies and milk.

Posted by: Dominic Hasek at December 14, 2023 05:16 PM (hqVaF)

319 The Santa figure we see today is the creation of the Cocoa Cola advertisement department. Before that Santa Claus wasn’t so fat and even carried a saber .
Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:13 PM (MNhXM)

Santa also punched out a Heretic

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at December 14, 2023 05:16 PM (dKiJG)

320 When it comes to child sacrifice, don't forget the Aztecs. Tlaloc worship ( An aztec rain god) was... brutal.

You can say what you want about the Spanish, but Cortez was doing the Lord's work. And an examination of his actual campaign shows a whole lot of miracles in favor of Cortez...

Posted by: GanGanowicz at December 14, 2023 05:16 PM (AxRGS)

321 It used to be more subtly stupid, like movies which depicted Spanish royalty as swarthy Mediterraneans or, worse, fiery Latinas.

Posted by: Pete in Texas at December 14, 2023 05:16 PM (BHrzb)

322 However, he made this one mistake: he wounded the Romans, but he did not finish them off. This is not softball league here. If you fought and wounded but did not bury this particular group of assholes, then they would bury you.
------------
"Hannibal, you know how to win a battle, but not a war."

----Stuff Hannibal's brother said.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:07 PM (ScR16)

Doubt it was his brother, seeing as how the Romans cut off his relief army and destroyed it about halfway down Italy. First news Hannibal got was the head of his brother tossed over from the Roman lines.

My favorite Hannibal quote was just before Cannae, when an officer named Gisco was marvelling at the size of the Roman army he faced. Hannibal joked:

Ah there is one thing about them more wonderful than their numbers … in all that vast number there is not one man called Gisgo.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (eoQWY)

323 "Dreams of my Father" starring Tom Hanks as the Lightbringer, The Rock as Michelle Obama, Harvey Keitel as Joe Biden, Dylan Mulveny as Dr. Jill Biden.
Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 14, 2023 05:15 PM (fs1hN)
----------
No, Joe Pesci as Biden. "Fuck me??? No, Fuck you!!!!!"

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (ScR16)

324 The Santa figure we see today is the creation of the Cocoa Cola advertisement department. Before that Santa Claus wasn’t so fat and even carried a saber .
Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:13 PM (MNhXM)

Thomas Nast, the political cartoonist.
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at December 14, 2023 05:14 PM (N3zMI)

He had his version that wasn’t the version you see today. He was the saber carrying Santa.

Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (MNhXM)

325 This is a tough call. I really like Denzel.
Posted by: Max Power at December 14, 2023 05:12 PM (q177U)
----

Same.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (tT6L1)

326 >>>Can you imagine that Downfall scene with Samuel L. Jackson as Hitler?

I tried to roll in a Snakes on a Plane reference but it ended up sounding racist and psychotic.

Posted by: Max Power at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (q177U)

327 Check the "Bells of Saint Mary" for a pre -under God Pledge. Weirded me out the first time I notice. Screwed up my cadence.

Posted by: DOYLE at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (Z8Yh2)

328 317:Caitlyn Jenner as Malcolm X.

LOL!!

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (sAmhv)

329 I'm torn on the Hanks idea. His work in Bosom Buddies shows that he had the faggotry to portray Obama, but Hanks may be too black to do so.

Posted by: Fuck Jug Ears at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (ttzpt)

330
Chris Kringle gonna cut a bitch.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at December 14, 2023

...

Or a gnostic.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 14, 2023 05:18 PM (X7yt5)

331 That's no saber, my friends.

Posted by: Max Power at December 14, 2023 05:18 PM (q177U)

332 329 I'm torn on the Hanks idea. His work in Bosom Buddies shows that he had the faggotry to portray Obama, but Hanks may be too black to do so.
Posted by: Fuck Jug Ears at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (ttzpt)

Does no one remember Philadelphia?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:18 PM (di6C2)

333 Harvey Keitel has the sick pervert part down, that's why I thought he'd be good as Biden. Pesci is too likeable.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 14, 2023 05:18 PM (fs1hN)

334 This is all a way to manipulate the future. They know in 20 years or so most people won't read/ won't have the ability to read, so they'll get all their information from movies and TV.

So by race swapping all these characters they will cause most people to believe this is be true, and think black people were major contributors to the world.

It isn't just a way to erase people from TV and movies, it's a way to actually try to erase history, which is actually one of the actions that dictate if something is one of the liberals favorite new buzzwords, Genocide.

Posted by: Rbastid at December 14, 2023 05:19 PM (wM7T1)

335 The Punic War might have turned out differently if Hannibal’s brother hadn’t lost his head over it all..

Posted by: tubal at December 14, 2023 05:19 PM (PCK5/)

336 I wonder if they are going to have Denzel wear an eyepatch for more than half the movie?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:19 PM (di6C2)

337 I was born to play Biden

Posted by: Corky from Life Goes On at December 14, 2023 05:20 PM (hqVaF)

338 My favorite Hannibal quote was just before Cannae, when an officer named Gisco was marvelling at the size of the Roman army he faced. Hannibal joked:

Ah there is one thing about them more wonderful than their numbers … in all that vast number there is not one man called Gisgo.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023

***
He was a witty fellow as well as a top-notch general. Not only is he one of the few non-Roman, non-Greek figures average people have heard of, but stories about him make him seem a man you'd like to know after the war is over.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 05:20 PM (J2vNu)

339 Tom Hanks gave me AIDS

Posted by: Philadelphia at December 14, 2023 05:20 PM (+Rtz8)

340 336 I wonder if they are going to have Denzel wear an eyepatch for more than half the movie?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:19 PM (di6C2)

Maybe a parrot on his shoulder??

Posted by: tubal at December 14, 2023 05:20 PM (PCK5/)

341 You can say what you want about the Spanish, but Cortez was doing the Lord's work. And an examination of his actual campaign shows a whole lot of miracles in favor of Cortez...
Posted by: GanGanowicz at December 14, 2023 05:16 PM (AxRGS)

Yes, They found a whole bunch of skeletons and they thought it was a Cartel related but it was an old Aztec ritual site,

The Smell when the Spanish entered the Aztec Kingdom must have been incredibly and they must have thought they entered Hell on Earth.

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at December 14, 2023 05:20 PM (dKiJG)

342 Does no one remember Philadelphia?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:18 PM (di6C2)

No. Nobody does.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 14, 2023 05:21 PM (dGCAG)

343 333 Harvey Keitel has the sick pervert part down, that's why I thought he'd be good as Biden. Pesci is too likeable.
Posted by: Chuck Martel

Harvey Keitel in 'The Bad Lieutenant' was a great movie but a tough watch. He was excellent in it. A great actor. RIP.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 05:21 PM (sAmhv)

344 He had his version that wasn’t the version you see today. He was the saber carrying Santa.
Posted by: Drive by at December 14, 2023 05:17 PM (MNhXM)
-----------
Just looked at that image. The cord for the sword sheath is looped over his forearm. It appears to be a toy sword, in keeping with all the other toys he is carrying.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:21 PM (ScR16)

345 Wait until we find out Hannibal had a troop of female Wakanda warriors on his side.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 14, 2023 05:21 PM (fs1hN)

346 Saint Nicholas in blackface? Sounds like cancelling (or peaceful riot) is required.

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 14, 2023 05:21 PM (2cS/G)

347 338

He was a witty fellow as well as a top-notch general. Not only is he one of the few non-Roman, non-Greek figures average people have heard of, but stories about him make him seem a man you'd like to know after the war is over.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 05:20 PM (J2vNu)

I think credit goes to Anthony Hopkins, actually…

Posted by: tubal at December 14, 2023 05:21 PM (PCK5/)

348 Call me when Hollywood casts blacks as ancient Chinese emperors.

Posted by: Gref at December 14, 2023 05:22 PM (5fDan)

349 348 Call me when Hollywood casts blacks as ancient Chinese emperors.
Posted by: Gref at December 14, 2023 05:22 PM (5fDan)

Heh.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (di6C2)

350 Didn't Patton claim to be Hannibal reincarnated?

Which makes it such a shame that he wasn't relegated to the Italian front.... would have been epic. Patton versus Kesselring. I like Patton, but I think Kesselring still takes that one.

Posted by: GanGanowicz at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (AxRGS)

351 >>I think credit goes to Anthony Hopkins

Anthony Quinn>Anthony Hopkins

Though.
Zorba the Carthaginian was less of a hit than Zorba the Greek.

Posted by: garrett at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (+Rtz8)

352 Harvey Keitel in 'The Bad Lieutenant' was a great movie but a tough watch. He was excellent in it. A great actor. RIP.
____

Harvey est mort? I didn't know. Nicholas Cage as Biden then.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (fs1hN)

353 Hannibal was never gonna get it done. How many episodes did bullets get sprayed everywhere with no casualties?

Posted by: He loved it when a plan came together but it never did at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (ttzpt)

354 345 Wait until we find out Hannibal had a troop of female Wakanda warriors on his side.
Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 14, 2023 05:21 PM (fs1hN)

THAT is one of the truly retarded things I expect. Maybe the Numidian Cavalry is all girlz!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (di6C2)

355 351 >>I think credit goes to Anthony Hopkins

Anthony Quinn>Anthony Hopkins

Though.
Zorba the Carthaginian was less of a hit than Zorba the Greek.
Posted by: garrett at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (+Rtz

Hah hah.. well done.

Posted by: tubal at December 14, 2023 05:24 PM (PCK5/)

356 19 I wonder if they’re going to bring up the Carthaginians’ practice of child sacrifice.

they say that every ancient race accused every other ancient race of that. I think I read there's only one ancient race whose own texts cop to the practice. forget which it was.
Posted by: ace at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (KRtlO)

I think they actually found one of the temples of Moloch there with baby skeletons.

https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/
2014-01-23-ancient-carthaginians-
really-did-sacrifice-their-children

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:24 PM (eoQWY)

357 350 Didn't Patton claim to be Hannibal reincarnated?

Which makes it such a shame that he wasn't relegated to the Italian front.... would have been epic. Patton versus Kesselring. I like Patton, but I think Kesselring still takes that one.
Posted by: GanGanowicz at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (AxRGS)

I don't think he claimed to be Hannibal, but a 'Carthaginian Soldier'.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 14, 2023 05:24 PM (di6C2)

358
Santa also punched out a Heretic
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio

So did Buzz Aldrin.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 14, 2023 05:24 PM (63Dwl)

359 Harvey est mort?

A quick internet search reveals no, still alive. 86 or so. I buried him too soon I guess.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 05:25 PM (sAmhv)

360 Personally, I'll always believe we haven't achieved truly equal diversity and representation in pop culture until they have Lena Dunham play Fat Albert in a new live action film.

Posted by: imdb_bot at December 14, 2023 05:25 PM (6ydKt)

361 >> Hannibal was never gonna get it done. How many episodes did bullets get sprayed everywhere with no casualties?

He always had the right plan for a circle jerk.

Posted by: Murdoch at December 14, 2023 05:25 PM (+Rtz8)

362 Which makes it such a shame that he wasn't relegated to the Italian front.... would have been epic. Patton versus Kesselring. I like Patton, but I think Kesselring still takes that one.
Posted by: GanGanowicz at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (AxRGS)
-----------
Kesselring made superb use of the excellent defensive terrain of the Italian Peninsula. No one was getting through easily. We had a chance at Anzio, but Clark blew it.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:25 PM (ScR16)

363 Didn't Patton claim to be Hannibal reincarnated?

Which makes it such a shame that he wasn't relegated to the Italian front.... would have been epic. Patton versus Kesselring. I like Patton, but I think Kesselring still takes that one.
Posted by: GanGanowicz at December 14, 2023 05:23 PM (AxRGS)

Patton's not going to lounge on the beach at Anzio like Mark Clark.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:25 PM (eoQWY)

364 Someone should let Harvey know he's dead so he can cancel his dinner reservations and whatnot.

Posted by: He's just mostly dead at December 14, 2023 05:26 PM (ttzpt)

365 Harry Morgan played a General on MASH before he was Colonel Potter. The General talked about Hannibal being a "darkie."

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 14, 2023 05:26 PM (63Dwl)

366 As I David Strom pointed out

NO
DAVID
STROM
I

Posted by: horta at December 14, 2023 05:27 PM (oY6Yp)

367 Harry Morgan played a General on MASH before he was Colonel Potter. The General talked about Hannibal being a "darkie."
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 14, 2023 05:26 PM (63Dwl)
----------
The character was also completely daft.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:27 PM (ScR16)

368 It was chariot horse farts!
------
I blame the Judeans!

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 05:27 PM (krqg6)

369 Wait until we find out Hannibal had a troop of female Wakanda warriors on his side.
Posted by: Chuck Martel at

...

Do I remember right that the coliseum fight in Gladiator with the black women chariot drivers was supposed to be the defeat of Hannibal? The chariots would have been the Roman's though.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 14, 2023 05:28 PM (X7yt5)

370 356 19 I wonder if they’re going to bring up the Carthaginians’ practice of child sacrifice.

they say that every ancient race accused every other ancient race of that. I think I read there's only one ancient race whose own texts cop to the practice. forget which it was.
Posted by: ace at December 14, 2023 04:34 PM (KRtlO)

I think they actually found one of the temples of Moloch there with baby skeletons.

https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/
2014-01-23-ancient-carthaginians-
really-did-sacrifice-their-children
Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:24 PM (eoQWY)

Yes, that article even notes the whitewash attempt began in the 1970s. Human sacrifice is not a particularly abnormal feature of ancient human societies, and many have supporting internal records of it though usually the practices appears to have diminished or gone away entirely over time.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at December 14, 2023 05:28 PM (eYoxG)

371 I'm waiting on the remake of Snow White. Might be awkward.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2023 05:28 PM (XeU6L)

372 I blame the Judeans!
Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 05:27 PM (krqg6)
-----------
The JFP or the JPF?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:28 PM (ScR16)

373 I blame the Judeans!

Enroll this man!

Posted by: Dean of Admissions, Harvard at December 14, 2023 05:30 PM (ttzpt)

374 Nood.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at December 14, 2023 05:30 PM (ScR16)

375 I didn't know elephants were as tall as a ten story building until I saw Return of the King.
Posted by: Archimedes at December 14, 2023 04:43 PM (CsUN+)
---
Those were "oliphaunts."
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

Aka "Oprahfants".

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here at December 14, 2023 05:32 PM (FVME7)

376 Raise your hand if ever met a Phoenician.

Posted by: Netflix at December 14, 2023 04:29 PM

I was in the Order of the Phoenician. Does that count?

Posted by: Harry Potter at December 14, 2023 05:33 PM (UKWFA)

377 nood

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at December 14, 2023 05:35 PM (krqg6)

378 334 This is all a way to manipulate the future. They know in 20 years or so most people won't read/ won't have the ability to read, so they'll get all their information from movies and TV.

so... should we start memorizing a book now or wait for books to be outlawed?

Posted by: anachronda at December 14, 2023 05:37 PM (oY6Yp)

379 He was a witty fellow as well as a top-notch general. Not only is he one of the few non-Roman, non-Greek figures average people have heard of, but stories about him make him seem a man you'd like to know after the war is over.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 14, 2023 05:20 PM (J2vNu)

The Romans thought so, they hunted him across the world to Asia Minor until he committed suicide.

Hannibal had a decent plan, but it broke down for the same reason the First Punic War did -- Rome wasn't a Greek City State with a few troops and mercenaries. It was a leader of a federation of fairly loyal subject cities who were tied into the Roman system by having the leaders of these cities incorporated into the politics of Rome. This gave them a huge ability to fight longer and harder. Hannibal found out that despite his victories the cities of Italy would for the most part not defect, and he could not stop them from raising more armies. These they sent to Spain to destroy his home base. Hannibal could hang out in Italy for 20 years, but the war was being lost around him.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:37 PM (eoQWY)

380 The entire story of Abraham and Issac is essentially a story about moving away from human sacrifice.

I think pretty much all ancient cultures did human sacrifice at one point. Certainly the Egyptians, Babylonians, Greeks (Remember Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter), the Romans, Druids, Vikings, Aztecs, and many more. Huttee.

child sacrifice and cannibalism is where ancients truly went depraved. And thankfully Christianity is what really stomped out human sacrifice worldwide, I think.

Posted by: GanGanowicz at December 14, 2023 05:37 PM (AxRGS)

381 This is all a way to manipulate the future. They know in 20 years or so most people won't read/ won't have the ability to read, so they'll get all their information from movies and TV.

so... should we start memorizing a book now or wait for books to be outlawed?
Posted by: anachronda at December 14, 2023 05:37 PM (oY6Yp)

Like they can make movies and TV and computers without reading.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:38 PM (eoQWY)

382 Harvey Keitel in 'The Bad Lieutenant' was a great movie but a tough watch. He was excellent in it. A great actor. RIP.
Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at December 14, 2023 05:21 PM (sAmhv)

Harvey's still with us.

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy now with twice the crazy at December 14, 2023 05:39 PM (iODuv)

383 The entire story of Abraham and Issac is essentially a story about moving away from human sacrifice.

I think pretty much all ancient cultures did human sacrifice at one point. Certainly the Egyptians, Babylonians, Greeks (Remember Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter), the Romans, Druids, Vikings, Aztecs, and many more. Huttee.

child sacrifice and cannibalism is where ancients truly went depraved. And thankfully Christianity is what really stomped out human sacrifice worldwide, I think.
Posted by: GanGanowicz at December 14, 2023 05:37 PM (AxRGS)

The Celts at least had the interesting notion that when things went bad they should sacrifice the king to the gods. Most societies with kings frown on that sort of thing no matter how holy you tell them it is.

Posted by: Oldcat at December 14, 2023 05:42 PM (eoQWY)

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Netflix Has a New Biopic About Hannibal, and This Time, They've Got the Casting 100% Historically AccurateWait, Hannibal Wasn't Black? I Just Assumed He Was Black Because Mr. T Played Him on the A-Team.Wait, Mr. T Didn't Play Him on the A-Team?

Comments

Netflix Has a New Biopic About Hannibal, and This Time, They've Got the Casting 100% Historically Accurate
Wait, Hannibal Wasn't Black? I Just Assumed He Was Black Because Mr. T Played Him on the A-Team.
Wait, Mr. T Didn't Play Him on the A-Team?