Repost: Thanksgivingship: How To Survive Your Dull-Witted Progressive Adultchildren Relatives Who've Been Reading Vox and Buzzfeed Articles About How to Survive <i>You</i>

Repost: Thanksgivingship: How To Survive Your Dull-Witted Progressive Adultchildren Relatives Who've Been Reading Vox and Buzzfeed Articles About How to Survive You

Before getting to that: From the sidebar, Eddie Scarry writes about the people who are really bringing divisive extremist politics to the Thanksgiving dinner table: Leftwing assholes, obviously.

Oxford Don Stephen Potter introduced the world to the principles of Gamesmanship [don't comment on old posts, the system will ban you] the way to win at games by resort to cheap ploys which were very close to cheating without being technically cheating. He later expanded his inquiries into the general field of "Lifemanship," the discipline of embracing life in a dickish and hostile spirit, sabotaging social rivals without quite breaching social etiquette.

Given that the progressive elder-children-yet-not-quite-adults you'll be encountering this Thanksgiving (who I will henceforth refer to as "grownchildren") will be armed to the teeth with Vox explainers and Obamacare propaganda, I herewith humbly submit these first sketches of a new branch of Lifemanship I call "Thankgivingmanship," which I define as the gentle art of insulting the stupid without alerting them to the fact that they've been insulted at all.

It is the goal of the dedicated Thanksgivingman, then, to achieve the sublime art of giving offense without offense being taken.

My basic strategy is thus: It would be as rude of you as it is rude of your cretinous grownchildren kin to allow a Thanksgiving dinner into a stupid game of Rachel Maddow Talking Points and their rebuttals.

So, rather than confront the unemployed idiots who will be assailing you, I propose instead to superficially avoid conflict and engagement on their dummy mouthflappings, and appear instead to agree with them.

But -- and here is the point -- a skilled Thanksgivingman will only appear to agree with the grownchildren to feeble intellects, such as those possessed by the grownchildren themselves. Instead of disagreeing with them -- which will cause argument and anger -- you will instead claim to agree with them, while in fact contradicting them, subverting them, of baffling them with statements that nearly, but do not quite, make sense.

Our definitions and mission now established, we turn to the first of our three primary Thanksgivingmanship gambits:

The Neutral or Nonsensical Statement Disguised as Agreement.Progressives do not process language the same way human beings do; they chiefly adduce meaning from tone and body language, like dogs.

This means that you can say many things which are either irrelevant, nonsensical, or otherwise not in agreement with the progressive subcreatures you're temporarily amidst so long as you deliver your words with a warm smile and a lot of nodding.

You may also use uptalk to express an insincere solidarity. As with dogs and babies, progressives find artificially high-pitched vocal tones to be soothing and possibly a prelude to Walkies and Snackies.

Whenever a progressive grownchild says something stupid and ignorant, which will be always, do not engage on the merits. Progressive grownchildren will become highly emotional and agitated at the slightest show of disagreement, and may wet the floor or claw at the furniture.

Instead, say something which is either neutral or nonsensical (which successfully communicates your true beliefs to other real human beings capable of deciphering obvious meaning) while deploying smiling, nodding, and uptalk to falsely convey agreement with to the more-stunted intellect of the grownchild.

For example, if a progressive grownchild says, "Rachel Maddow is just so amazing," you can respond by nodding and saying "Absolutely, Rachel Maddow is without doubt a mammal." (Or: "A mammal...?")

Possible responses to common grownchild mouthchatter include:

"Well I see that the 'Faux Noise Machice' has gotten everyone riled up about so-called 'terrorism' again."

"Doubtless! Terrorists only win when allow them to make us afraid, or dead." (Or: "Afraid, or dead...?")

"Can't people see that stupid cons are doing Just What ISIS Wants us to do?"

"It's so obvious-- the attacks in Paris weren't just an attack on human lives. They were an attack on our shared human capacity to be alive." ("To be alive, and stuff...?")

This is a very simple one, which can be deployed in a variety of contexts:

"None of this is Obama's fault -- he's doing the best he can to keep America out of another War of Choice."

"Boy that Obama-- he is really something, isn't he?"

As the evening wears on, and you are preparing to depart, you may become somewhat more blatant in your stealth insults, like so:

"I just read an explainer about this on Vox."

"Today's world is so remarkable! When I was young, we had to read books and derive our own thinking for ourselves. What a time to be alive, when sounding vaguely informed is no longer a luxury of the intellectual, but a cheaply assembled ware available to those of more common intellect!"

Fake Statistics. It was my old friend Boston Irish who alerted me to this ticklish little trope, when he observed that no matter how absurd the statistic you proposed to a progressive, if that statistic seemed to call attention to whatever bugaboos xhe was excited about, xhe would respond with a gushing "I know, right?!"

He demonstrated this to me at a party by interrupting a couple of liberals talking, and announcing to them:

"You know, based on current statistics, in ten years, the entire state of California will be homeless."

"Right! I know!" came the response.

By the way, that is not schtick. That is not a joke written for this blogpost. I was really there, he really said that, that really happened.

After having secured the agreement to his obviously-crank "statistics," he turned to me with a slightly arched eyebrow and sipped his beer in quiet triumph.

This propensity of grownchildren to agree to whatever fantastical "studies" and "statistics" you propose to them can be exploited for much private merriment at the holidays.

Other gambits include:

* "You know, the average family of four pays more in ATM fees to the Big Banksters than they spend on rent."

* "By the year 2030, global warming predicts that the entire North American landmass will be flooded by seawater and wolves."

* "99.4% of the world's wealth is controlled by six-tenths of a single person."

* "More people are killed every year by shooting accidentally shooting themselves than who died in all the wars in the world combined, except for the Korean War."

You need to throw that "Except for the Korean War" in at the end because the claim, on its face, is too preposterous, so you deduct out Korean War deaths to bring it into the real of the plausible. (Plausible, that is, for progressive grownchildren.) It makes like you've done the math and just have to make this one little adjustment to get the numbers to work.

You may follow Boston Irish's trope of the obviously-crank "liberal study" claim, or you can try your hand at claims which are simply baffling nonsense:

* "Studies have proven that if you have a gun in your house, you are more in danger of being struck by lightning than being bitten by a rattlesnake. Think about it."

A minor variation of the Fake Statistic ploy is the Fake Profundity gambit, in which you propose some ludicrous "deep thought" which derives not from social science, but from your own personal philosophical inquiry.

For example, this one is best delivered with chin uplifted, Obama-style, and a metaphysical glaze of the eye:

* "For what is it that gives the terrorists power -- their weapons, or our primitive, irrational fear that they will kill us with their weapons?"

It is generally a useful practice to prefix such bits of nonsense with faux-biblical language, such as "For what..." or "Lo" and "Thus and so."

Fake Quotes. Progressives love fake quotes -- they just love dressing up whatever passes for this week's SJW Conventional Wisdom and attributing it to some historic figure.

Generally, these historic figures are very well known, because progressives don't know any historic figures except the very well known. Thomas Jefferson is always a popular choice. For "bad sounding quotes," Hitler is preferred. Napoleon and Marcus Aurelius may be deployed as well, but be prepared for some confused looks as to who it is you're talking about.

Offering a ridiculous quote can bring you and any other lively minds at the table great amusement. Your target will probably not notice the quote is fake, because he is an imbecile, and also because you'll have a serene, self-satisfied smile on your face as you say it, which he will read as "A Fellow Progressive in Discursive Mode."

This minor camouflage will permit you to smuggle huge amounts of nonsense in the guise of Wisdom of the Ancients.

Feel free to subvert your noddingsmiles with messages that are blatantly mottos of the NRA, if only the grownchild could understand simple words, which they cannot.

For example:

"Wasn't it Mahatma Gandhi who said, 'It is not necessarily the first man to shoot who wins the battle, but it is always the last man shooting who wins the day'?"

"As Gertrude Stein said" -- and I should say here that this gambit works best when you pronounce this name, for no particular reason, in an outrageous German accent, as Gaertruude Schteinn.

So, let's begin again: "As Gaertruude Schteinn observed, 'The man who is slowest to arm himself is quickest to savor the bounties of Heaven.'"

Another gambit is to offer up the following quotes, which are applicable in a wide range of situations.

"I forget which scientist said it, maybe Neil DeGrasse Tyson, but it's worth repeating: 'Wars of religion always make me laugh because basically you're fighting over who has the best imaginary friend.'"

Or:

"A great philosopher, Gaertruud Von Schteinn, once said, 'Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true'?"

You will get big nods for these Aphorisms of the Sages. You yourself can take pleasure in the knowledge that both quotes are from the movie Point Break, delivered by Johnny Utah (Keanu Reaves) and Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), respectively.

If you get any verbal expressions of agreement, a "hear-hear" or an "amen," you can extend the joke by saying, "In the words of the spiritual master Boddhisatva, 'You can do what you want, and make up your own rules. Why be a servant to the law, when you can be its master...?" or "Six seconds and we're going to be meat waffles.'"

Make this trope your own. Have fun with it. If you want to claim that it was Niccolo Machiavelli who first advised, "Sweep the leg, Johnny," go with it, but try to get your more subtle Fake Quotes in before "going big" like that.

A Final Word. At some point, even an experienced Thanksgivingman will go too far, and give his game away. At that point, there will be sulks and silences, and the Thanksgivingman will have actually failed at his goal, which is to give offense without offense being taken.

In such straits, the Thanksgivingman, in order to be the polite person he wishes to be, will have to apologize -- it is the verminous grownchildren who have come to bicker and strife, after all, not the well-mannered Thankgivingman.

However, for the zealous Thanksgivingman, even an apology can be exploited for further Thanksgivingmanship points.

For example, if the childanimal you are speaking with declares:

"You're micro-aggressing me."

...then be sure to respond,

"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most micro apologies."

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 12:10 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 hiya

Posted by: JT at November 23, 2023 12:11 PM (T4tVD)

2 After having secured the agreement to his obviously-crank "statistics," he turned to me with a slightly arched eyebrow and sipped his beer in quiet triumph.

I look forward to this line each time I read this. I can picture it exactly.

Well, I don't know what "Boston Irish" looks like, so not exactly, I guess.

Posted by: spindrift at November 23, 2023 12:12 PM (Zdu9h)

3 It's been a few years since I've been "home" for Thanksgiving, but with my family, the douchebaggery is close to being non-existent, and if any of the kids home from kollej or whatever, tried to blather any nonsense, they'd be drowned out and shamed.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:14 PM (QBaJw)

4 I'm not progressive; I am, however, at the moment "dull witted.". Just went to pick up our Thanksgiving dinner at the market it was catered from. I thought it was going to be sliced turkey breast with trimmings. The trimmings need to be heated up heated up-which is fine-but it was an uncooked turkey breast. I guess we'll be having dinner later than expected.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 12:14 PM (RSbhh)

5 Anyone discussing current events at thanksgiving dinner will be beaten with a rolling pin by drunks.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at November 23, 2023 12:16 PM (MeG8a)

6 Walkies and Snackies.

Yay!

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism, in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at November 23, 2023 12:16 PM (kt+Zf)

7 an observation willowed from the previous thread:

"Commander-in-Chief Kamala Harris."

Has anything ever concentrated the mind so wonderfully?

Posted by: mnw at November 23, 2023 12:17 PM (NLIak)

8 You're micro-aggressing me."

...then be sure to respond,

"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most micro apologies."

LOL.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 12:17 PM (RSbhh)

9 an observation willowed from the previous thread:

"Commander-in-Chief Kamala Harris."

Has anything ever concentrated the mind so wonderfully?

Plastics are the future. Plastic lined nuclear fallout shelters come to top of mind.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at November 23, 2023 12:19 PM (Bd6X8)

10 Thanks Ace. This and the Waitresses are my holiday favorites.

Posted by: goatexchange at November 23, 2023 12:20 PM (hyS0X)

11 If you're familiar with the Yootoober Jacksfilms, he was made more famous this year due to his feud with the female shithole, Sniperwolf (look that one up).

He had a thing he did some years ago, where he would take submissions from people with made up facts and stats, then improve them by making them somewhat more realistic, to the point where if you posted them online, people would believe them, even though they remained absurd on their face.

I'll see if I can find one of the vids. The guy really is hilarious, and his ability to have taken down Sniperwolf (albeit dangerously for him and his wife) was/is genius.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:22 PM (QBaJw)

12
* "You know, the average family of four pays more in ATM fees to the Big Banksters than they spend on rent."

—

This one always cracks me up.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:23 PM (bWsRe)

13 You're micro-aggressing me."

*holds up hand with finger and thumb barely touching *

Here's how much I give a shit about your micro feelings.

Posted by: Diogenes at November 23, 2023 12:24 PM (uSHSS)

14 If we are going to change Thanksgiving, how about we call it “Home On The Range Day”.
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

This especially goes for goofy narcissist college professors and know-it-all college students who should STFU

Posted by: SMOD at November 23, 2023 12:25 PM (RovqD)

15 Here you go, the first of Jacksfilms episodes of Fake Facts:

https://tinyurl.com/2crx6u5x

Enjoy.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:25 PM (QBaJw)

16 "You know, the average family of four pays more in ATM fees to the Big Banksters than they spend on rent."

—

This one always cracks me up.
Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:23 PM (bWsRe)

Heh. Since I own my own home, paid off, I pay zero in rent, so I certainly do pay more in bank fees than in rent. But bank fees pale in comparison to taxes and utility bills, and much or most of the latter is tax, too.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 12:30 PM (9vZrn)

17 FWP. our refrigerator is acting up, filled with Thanksgiving bounty.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at November 23, 2023 12:31 PM (aD39U)

18 Yelling out loud like a real retard at someone who is putting you down at a party...

"Just because you have a normal brain doesn't make you any better than ME!"

And then get right in their face with a really angry/psycho look.

Posted by: pawn at November 23, 2023 12:31 PM (QB+5g)

19 Afternoon Ace and happy Thanksgiving. The best way to deal with leftist nonsense at the dinner table is to spit food at them. Of course you'll probably be asked to leave, but then you can go watch football

Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 23, 2023 12:32 PM (QUGLq)

20 I am deeply grateful that all my family (except for two old-enough-to-know-better nieces) agree about politics. Grateful I don't have to remember Thanksgivingmanship, too, because I'm really bad at off-the-cuff speaking like that, because...everyone is about 1000 miles or more miles away, so I need only cook for us.

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at November 23, 2023 12:32 PM (Rbu5d)

21 The trimmings need to be heated up heated up-which is fine-but it was an uncooked turkey breast. I guess we'll be having dinner later than expected.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 12:14 PM (RSbhh)

That's awful. If they didn't EXPLICITLY say the turkey breast needed to be cooked, I think they're at fault, not you.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:33 PM (QBaJw)

22 When the boss is portioning out Thanksgiving whoop-ass casserole, it is a momentous occasion.

I've never been to the food bank. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Posted by: Kim's Restless Nipples at November 23, 2023 12:33 PM (PbTeh)

23 If they Thanksgiving just celebrates our genocide of the "First Americans" just "Yes, except for the Chesapeake Tribe".

Posted by: Javems at November 23, 2023 12:34 PM (8I4hW)

24 OT: seems the occupants of the Bentley that wrecked on the Rainbow Bridge were Gail and Kurt Villani of Grand Island, New York, owners of a lumber store in that town.

Apologies if already mentioned.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 12:35 PM (9vZrn)

25 Fun Fact:
Did you know that at the first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims accidentally infected the native Americans that attended, and wiped out 84.879% of the tribe?

They never recovered.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at November 23, 2023 12:35 PM (hH3Px)

26 That's awful. If they didn't EXPLICITLY say the turkey breast needed to be cooked, I think they're at fault, not you.
Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:33 PM (QBaJw)

Mandatory: got to sous vide that shit!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 12:36 PM (9vZrn)

27 Most of the people here are carrying firearms. They are also reading verses from the Bible. It makes for a happy, well adjusted dinner table. Later, when the football gets tossed is when it gets ugly.

Posted by: Marcus T at November 23, 2023 12:36 PM (kCF/A)

28 "Wasn't it Mahatma Gandhi who said, 'It is not necessarily the first man to shoot who wins the battle, but it is always the last man shooting who wins the day'?"

Whoa.

Posted by: Keanu Reaves at November 23, 2023 12:36 PM (aD39U)

29 My in laws are quasi leftists but we agreed long time ago not to talk politics. We keep to that and have had a great relationship for years.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:36 PM (bWsRe)

30 I like to keep people guessing by leaving out words.

Posted by: Javems at November 23, 2023 12:36 PM (8I4hW)

31 I don't anticipate any political discussions at Thanksgiving table because my family is from Italy and it's all about the food.

the guys are way more likely to talk sports than they are politics

Posted by: kallisto at November 23, 2023 12:37 PM (yNCtC)

32 I love this classic post. Currently helping the Misses prep the vegetables for the later meal.

Posted by: Corona exile-back_in_exile at November 23, 2023 12:37 PM (URIv5)

33 5 Anyone discussing current events at thanksgiving dinner will be beaten with a rolling pin by drunks.
Posted by: gourmand du jour at November 23, 2023 12:16 PM (MeG8a)

This would be a terrific announcement while everyone is gathered around the table, just before sitting.
"Anyone discussing current events at thanksgiving dinner will be beaten with a rolling pin by drunks. Here's the rolling pin. Let's pray. ...Amen. Let's eat!"

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at November 23, 2023 12:37 PM (Rbu5d)

34 As the great French author and philosopher Albert Camus once said, One need not engage in excessive taxation of labor for that is akin to destroying the soul. And as much as I hate to agree with a Frenchman, he does have a point.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:38 PM (bWsRe)

35 Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:33 PM (QBaJw)

Thanks. As far as culinary problems on TG, it beats the time that my sister visiting from Australia somehow managed to turkey in the oven lock the oven and it was on some kind of timer so and we had to eat much later , or the time my mother was on the phone long distance with her mother, she didn't want to get off the phone and a pressure cooker exploded and applesauce hit the ceiling.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 12:39 PM (RSbhh)

36 The greatest travesty this Thanksgiving:

Joe Biden will get no credit for the Gaza ceasefire. It's a damn shame. He took this job to make things better, and once again he's pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

He got a ceasefire. He's getting hostages out, along with a ladder to extend the ceasefire for the release of more hostages. As a committed Obama fan: Joe Biden is the greatest President of my lifetime.

That's part of his strength, he's a humanitarian, he doesn't care who gets the credit if he can bring peace...I don't know if he's the greatest of my lifetime, but he and Carter are the most modest. He doesn't kiss the media's ass (to his personal credit, but political detriment), and they, in turn, ignore his accomplishments...

Obama fan here, too, and I couldn't agree with you more about Biden. He is an absolute marvel. Whatever he works on - improves. Whatever problem he tackles - he solves. Whatever challenge he confronts - he conquers.

President Biden could cure cancer, solve world hunger, etc., and never get credit. That's our media for you. heck, they'd come up with a way to give the orange man credit for it.

Posted by: Intercepted DU Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at November 23, 2023 12:40 PM (ycI94)

37 We keep to that and have had a great relationship for years.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:36 PM (bWsRe)

this can mean only one thing: They are in awe of your net worth

Posted by: kallisto at November 23, 2023 12:41 PM (yNCtC)

38 36...Posted by: Intercepted DU Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at November 23, 2023 12:40 PM (ycI94)

It is a parody, right?
RIGHT??

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at November 23, 2023 12:42 PM (Rbu5d)

39 It is a parody, right?
RIGHT??
Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at November 23, 2023 12:42 PM (Rbu5d)

Really hard to know isn’t it?

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:44 PM (bWsRe)

40 Obama fan here, too, and I couldn't agree with you more about Biden. He is an absolute marvel. Whatever he works on - improves. Whatever problem he tackles - he solves. Whatever challenge he confronts - he conquers.

For example, the problem of figuring out just how stupid and corrupt is TOO stupid and corrupt for Dem voters? We now know that there IS no leftist limit to acceptable stupidity and corruption.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 23, 2023 12:45 PM (I/Qkd)

41 President Biden could cure cancer

Wait ... I thought he DID cure cancer.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at November 23, 2023 12:46 PM (aD39U)

42 "Commander-in-Chief Kamala Harris."

Has anything ever concentrated the mind so wonderfully?
Posted by: mnw at November 23, 2023 12:17 PM (NLIak)

the image of Janet Yellen with her hand upraised, repeating the oath of office to be President of the United States

Posted by: Kindltot at November 23, 2023 12:46 PM (D7oie)

43
Did you know that at the first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims accidentally infected the native Americans that attended, and wiped out 84.879% of the tribe?

Covid-1621

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 23, 2023 12:46 PM (63Dwl)

44 Posted by: Intercepted DU Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at November 23, 2023 12:40 PM (ycI94)

It is a parody, right?
RIGHT??
Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at November 23, 2023 12:42 PM (Rbu5d)

I don't believe the people who spew this shite necessarily believe it, but they say it because it's part of their religion to try to spread the word.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:47 PM (QBaJw)

45 Miss Manners has the perfect response to people who ask rude questions..."If you'll forgive me for not answering that question
I'll forgive you for asking it."

Posted by: creeper at November 23, 2023 12:48 PM (cTCuP)

46 ace I thought your advice in replying to woke relative rants would surely be :

Chicken pot , Chicken pot, Chicken pot Piiiiiiee !

Posted by: Drive by at November 23, 2023 12:48 PM (MNhXM)

47 P.S. Great post, ace. This one needs to go into the regular holiday rotation.

Posted by: creeper at November 23, 2023 12:49 PM (cTCuP)

48 Delusional just ain’t just a heavy rainfall .

Posted by: Drive by at November 23, 2023 12:49 PM (MNhXM)

49 Fun Fact:

A recent Hopkins study had revealed a direct relationship between the preference for white meat turkey and anti- POC racism.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at November 23, 2023 12:50 PM (hH3Px)

50 How To Survive Your Dull-Witted Progressive Adultchildren Relatives Who've Been Reading Vox and Buzzfeed Articles About How to Survive You
-

Such a complicated article! The easy solution: just serve them Tofurkey.

https://tinyurl.com/3vkr5h5t

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 12:50 PM (BoX/+)

51 This and the Kaboom post are some of my favorite AoS articles.

Anyway, one spatchcock turkey is on the grill.

Looking forward to the post turkey nap.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(z5vMw) at November 23, 2023 12:50 PM (z5vMw)

52 Getting splashed, overidden, and by-passed on your 12:05 thread by one at 12:10 is a macroagression of the highest order. Poor Buck!

Posted by: UnFair to Local 12! at November 23, 2023 12:51 PM (83IzV)

53 Did you know that at the first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims accidentally infected the native Americans that attended, and wiped out 84.879% of the tribe?
---

Covid-1621
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 23, 2023 12:46 PM (63Dwl)

I bet you could get some nitwits to believe it:

"The University of Nebraska tested some of the blankets used to kill off Native Americans and found they contained trace amounts of an early Covid variant."

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:52 PM (QBaJw)

54 May all of you have a blessed, happy and fattening Thanksgiving.

Posted by: That Northernlurker what lurkd at November 23, 2023 12:52 PM (8SY6X)

55 Here's a helpful conversational tool: The Postmodern Generator

https://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/

“Society is part of the collapse of language,” says Sartre. The primary theme of Pickett’s essay on capitalist submaterial theory is the role of the participant as artist. Thus, in Erotica, Madonna affirms textual discourse; in Material Girl she reiterates subtextual cultural theory."

Real icebreakers!

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at November 23, 2023 12:52 PM (Ndje9)

56 I can't believe people still eat meat. They're now finding eighty year-olds whose bodies are now almost entirely made out of meat. It's so terrible for humans and the planet. Cattle ranching will add between zero and fourteen degrees to our average temperatures. Can you imagine? Thank goodness we killed off all the buffalo or we'd already be dead. Apple. I'd like apple pie, please.

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at November 23, 2023 12:52 PM (z+89e)

57
OT: seems the occupants of the Bentley that wrecked on the Rainbow Bridge were Gail and Kurt Villani of Grand Island, New York, owners of a lumber store in that town.

Apologies if already mentioned.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 12:35 PM

First I saw it. From the video I viewed I would suspect a lot of alcohol was involved. Not terror, plain old dumbassedness*.

* Which is probably not a word but should be.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 12:53 PM (enJYY)

58 Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 12:53 PM (enJYY)

I thought medical incident like a heart attack.

Posted by: Drive by at November 23, 2023 12:54 PM (MNhXM)

59 Hmmm. If you really don't want to cook, why not just go out?

Part of the joy of Thanksgiving, to me at least, is the effort and love that goes into the preparation of the meal. The thought and time. After all, why is the goal always for things to be easy?

Lord, do not make my load lighter, but my back stronger.

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 23, 2023 12:54 PM (35jYC)

60 A recently study shows that obesity in people of color is directly correlated with the celebration of Eurocentric holidays like Thanksgiving and Easter. It’s imperative that people of color no longer indulge in these racist events.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:55 PM (bWsRe)

61 "Commander-in-Chief Kamala Harris."

Has anything ever concentrated the mind so wonderfully?
Posted by: mnw at November 23, 2023 12:17 PM (NLIak)

the image of Janet Yellen with her hand upraised, repeating the oath of office to be President of the United States
Posted by: Kindltot at November 23, 2023 12:46 PM (D7oie)

Newly sworn in Veep Pete Buttgig, holding hands with his "husband," looking on at the historic event.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:56 PM (QBaJw)

62 So it was an actual Bentley?

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:56 PM (bWsRe)

63 After all, America was not founded by people who wanted the easy way out. And on this very American holiday, it seems wrong to be lazy.

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 23, 2023 12:56 PM (FIi2g)

64 So it was an actual Bentley?
Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:56 PM (bWsRe)

Well, it wasn't a Rolls-Kinardly.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 12:57 PM (9vZrn)

65 Grand Island is a weird place.

Posted by: pawn at November 23, 2023 12:57 PM (QB+5g)

66 38 36...Posted by: Intercepted DU Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at November 23, 2023 12:40 PM (ycI94)

It is a parody, right?
RIGHT??
Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker

I'm afraid it's real. All of it. It IS a tab I've had open for a few says, waiting for the right thread to post it in...and a Thanksgiving post seemed appropriate lol.

Posted by: Intercepted DU Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at November 23, 2023 12:58 PM (ycI94)

67 Squanto got the rights to and built the first Indian casino in the New World. Neon hadn't been invented so it wasn't as splashy as modern gambling houses.

Posted by: Indian Lore at November 23, 2023 12:58 PM (83IzV)

68 So it was an actual Bentley?
Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:56 PM (bWsRe)
-----------

After the explosion, it certainly was....

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(z5vMw) at November 23, 2023 12:58 PM (z5vMw)

69 It’s not the cooking that sucks. It’s the cleaning up afterwards.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 12:58 PM (bWsRe)

70 9
Plastics are the future. Plastic lined nuclear fallout shelters come to top of mind.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at November 23, 2023 12:19 PM (Bd6X

----
You've been watching "The Graduate" again haven't you!

Posted by: Ciampino - Live Free Or Pie at November 23, 2023 12:59 PM (qfLjt)

71 Posted by: Intercepted DU Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at November 23, 2023 12:40 PM (ycI94)

Where do the DU zombies get the idea that Biden was involved in the Israeli ceasefire?

Posted by: spindrift at November 23, 2023 12:59 PM (Zdu9h)

72 Hmmm. If you really don't want to cook, why not just go out?

Because it's cheaper to heat up things at home, and my love for my family is not related to whether I cooked TG dinner at home, (which I've done many times but preferred not to this year) or we went out, or whether something was catered.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 12:59 PM (RSbhh)

73 Wait ... I thought he DID cure cancer.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at November 23, 2023 12:46 PM (aD39U)

Fingerbanging your daughters, granddaughters, and assorted underlings and staffers.

If it wasn't for Joe, we'd never know.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 12:59 PM (QBaJw)

74 TBF to the DUllards, if all your info comes from msnbc, Vox and Reddit then yeah Biden is amazing and can do no wrong.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 01:00 PM (bWsRe)

75 8 You're micro-aggressing me."

...then be sure to respond,

"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most micro apologies."

LOL.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 12:17 PM (RSbhh)
----
I would have responded thusly:
"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most pico apologies."

Posted by: Ciampino - Get rich or pie trying at November 23, 2023 01:01 PM (qfLjt)

76 Fun Fact:

The lowest scoring dog in the national Dog Show is often sold to a local Chinese family, in order to improve the blood line of the breed.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at November 23, 2023 01:01 PM (hH3Px)

77 I'd like apple pie, please.
Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at November 23, 2023 12:52 PM (z+89e)

Made with lard. And lots and lots of butter.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:02 PM (QBaJw)

78 Where do the DU zombies get the idea that Biden was involved in the Israeli ceasefire?
Posted by: spindrift at November 23, 2023 12:59 PM

Dude...why would Israel let up as they're rolling Hamas? Someone with pressure is forcing them....and the only nation with that kind of leverage is the US.

Posted by: Military Moron at November 23, 2023 01:02 PM (ycI94)

79
I thought medical incident like a heart attack.

Posted by: Drive by at November 23, 2023 12:54 PM

Unfortunate any way you look at it, but to my eyes the street is wet, the car navigates a sharp turn at high speed, but fails to slow down for the next corner, then passes across wrong lane, hits curb and becomes airborne for a hundred feet (it looks like to me). Explodes upon impact. I hope any suffering was short.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:03 PM (enJYY)

80 We went out a few years to a hotel that does a really nice spread. It’s buffet style and there is a ton of variety and really good stuff. Not horribly expensive relative to buying all the ingredients to make at home.

Downside though is no leftovers. Which is 1/2 the fun of TG, having those leftovers on Friday and Saturday and maybe Sunday.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 01:03 PM (bWsRe)

81 "I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. "

Hear, hear.

"I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am".

Posted by: An ordinary decent Michael Palin at November 23, 2023 01:04 PM (/HDaX)

82 After the explosion, it certainly was....
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(z5vMw) at November 23, 2023 12:58 PM (z5vMw)

Took me a moment to get it.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:04 PM (QBaJw)

83 Bentley? Damn Brokely!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 23, 2023 01:04 PM (63Dwl)

84 I would have responded thusly:
"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most pico apologies."
Posted by: Ciampino - Get rich or pie trying at November 23, 2023 01:01 PM (qfLjt)

Heh. Thing is, Leftards, despite their claims to be guided by Science, most of them won't know that "pico" is the metric prefix for 10 to the -12 power. One millionth of "micro".

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:05 PM (9vZrn)

85 Indian Lake is a scene
You should make with your little one...

Posted by: Cowsills Earworm at November 23, 2023 01:05 PM (83IzV)

86 Wow, thanks for the nood, y’all.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at November 23, 2023 01:05 PM (JrojV)

87 Huh? It's already in the holiday rotation?

For crying out loud, creep...PAY ATTENTION.

Posted by: creeper at November 23, 2023 01:05 PM (cTCuP)

88 What started out with Fox News reporting a terrorism incident involving explosives is now believed to be the fault of a 56-year-old man who lived in a wealthy area, went to a casino after KISS canceled its farewell-tour dates in Ottawa and Toronto, and then drove his $300,000 (after taxes) Bentley Excelsior X into the border checkpoint, killing himself and his wife.

Posted by: Neo at November 23, 2023 01:06 PM (RovqD)

89 Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 01:03 PM (bWsRe)

We did go to a hotel once before our son was born. It was very nice, but with all the selections I've never eaten so much in my life.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 01:06 PM (RSbhh)

90 You may also use uptalk to express an insincere solidarity. As with dogs and babies, progressives find artificially high-pitched vocal tones to be soothing and possibly a prelude to Walkies and Snackies.
_______

I don't know. My wife's sister in law, well, it fits like a glove. But my dog is smarter than that.

Posted by: Eeyore at November 23, 2023 01:06 PM (brAQZ)

91 Easy way to enjoy Thanksgiving is not to have any asshole democrat friends, relatives or monster children there to ruin your day.

Tell them all to fuck off and you will enjoy a happy Thanksgiving and a happy life.

Your Welcome.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 23, 2023 01:07 PM (R/m4+)

92 Sidebar link to car crash: Wow, that car really was flying!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at November 23, 2023 01:08 PM (JFmA+)

93 Unfortunate any way you look at it, but to my eyes the street is wet, the car navigates a sharp turn at high speed, but fails to slow down for the next corner, then passes across wrong lane, hits curb and becomes airborne for a hundred feet (it looks like to me). Explodes upon impact. I hope any suffering was short.
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:03 PM (enJYY)

Looks like most of the fireball was fuel gushing from a ruptured fuel tank. One would think the car would have been equipped with multiple airbags, so the occupants might have survived the crash, only to be burned to death. My guess? Either a medical event, causing driver to go stiff with his foot jammed on the gas, or else murder-suicide.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:09 PM (9vZrn)

94 Unfortunate any way you look at it, but to my eyes the street is wet, the car navigates a sharp turn at high speed, but fails to slow down for the next corner, then passes across wrong lane, hits curb and becomes airborne for a hundred feet (it looks like to me). Explodes upon impact. I hope any suffering was short.
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:03 PM (enJYY)

If I had to do it over again.....

Posted by: Zombie Anne Heche In a Mini Cooper at November 23, 2023 01:09 PM (QBaJw)

95 Tact: (definition)

"... The ability to tell an individual or group to Go To Hell, in such a manner that they (eagerly!) Look Forward to the Trip."

attribution: lost to the midst of time and misspent youth.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at November 23, 2023 01:11 PM (e6UQI)

96 "at least the Irish understand that killing their dairy herds will make Ireland colder and rainier."

Posted by: Kindltot at November 23, 2023 01:11 PM (D7oie)

97 I thought medical incident like a heart attack.
Posted by: Drive by at November 23, 2023 12:54 PM (MNhXM)

It could mean that Bentley's fly-by-wire throttle has some glitches in the code.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 23, 2023 01:12 PM (D7oie)

98 Fen @ 35

Reminds me of a day after Thanksgiving when my Great-aunt Mary was boiling the turkey bones for soup. It simmered for two hours, filling the kitchen with a lovely aroma. She then placed a large strainer in the sink and carefully poured the broth in the pot through it.

Posted by: creeper at November 23, 2023 01:13 PM (cTCuP)

99
One would think the car would have been equipped with multiple airbags, so the occupants might have survived the crash, only to be burned to death. My guess? Either a medical event, causing driver to go stiff with his foot jammed on the gas, or else murder-suicide.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:09 PM

Interesting question: in a high speed (possibly 100 mph) impact with an unmovable object do the airbags deploy quickly enough?

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:14 PM (enJYY)

100 Outrage grows over video showing American Airlines workers tossing a wheelchair down a baggage chute

https://mol.im/a/12784199

Posted by: Ciampino - The turkey is poultry in motion at November 23, 2023 01:15 PM (qfLjt)

101 Anyone knows what presdent Obama is doing for Friends-Giving ???

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, Vt at November 23, 2023 01:15 PM (PYJJG)

102 Where do the DU zombies get the idea that Biden was involved in the Israeli ceasefire?
Posted by: spindrift at November 23, 2023 12:59 PM (Zdu9h)

It was supposedly worked out between the white house and some dude in Qatar.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 23, 2023 01:15 PM (D7oie)

103 Close study of the images should determine if the Bentley driver had turned the wheels for the curve or not.

Posted by: Braenyard at November 23, 2023 01:15 PM (mBcUV)

104 She then placed a large strainer in the sink and carefully poured the broth in the pot through it.
Posted by: creeper at November 23, 2023 01:13 PM (cTCuP)

Yikes! How very contrary of her.

I purchased the supplies needed to make a crockpot full of Manhattan-style clam chowder, so that is my food adventure for today.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:16 PM (9vZrn)

105 I will admit I had "The Dukes of Hazzard" theme song running through my head when I watched the video linked in the sidebar...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 23, 2023 01:17 PM (BpYfr)

106 56-year-old man who lived in a wealthy area, went to a casino after KISS canceled its farewell-tour dates in Ottawa and Toronto, and then drove his $300,000 (after taxes) Bentley Excelsior X into the border checkpoint, killing himself and his wife.
Posted by: Neo at November 23, 2023 01:06 PM (RovqD)

————-

It’s time for some common sense shitty, washed up rock band control.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 23, 2023 01:18 PM (u73oe)

107 Posted by: creeper at November 23, 2023 01:13 PM (cTCuP)

Thanks; It makes me feel better to hear about other people having culinary mistakes too.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 01:19 PM (RSbhh)

108 Interesting question: in a high speed (possibly 100 mph) impact with an unmovable object do the airbags deploy quickly enough?
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:14 PM (enJYY)

Interesting question indeed. Or did they deploy too soon? Maybe they deployed upon the collision with the curb that threw the car airborne? Takes a lot of force to launch a two-ton car into the air. Airbags don't stay inflated very long at all.

The final accident reconstructionist's report on this wreck will be interesting reading, indeed.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:20 PM (9vZrn)

109 100 Outrage grows over video showing American Airlines workers tossing a wheelchair down a baggage chute

----
Funny
https://is.gd/g0NYdO

Posted by: Ciampino - The turkey is poultry in motion. at November 23, 2023 01:21 PM (qfLjt)

110 Oh here you all are

Happy Thanksgiving everyone

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2023 01:21 PM (YHzvM)

111 Anyone knows what presdent Obama is doing for Friends-Giving ???
Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, Vt at November 23, 2023 01:15 PM (PYJJG)

Mary you are a horrible racist person for suggesting that our beloved national healer is drowning another cook. How DARE you!

Posted by: Kindltot at November 23, 2023 01:21 PM (D7oie)

112 Sidebar link to car crash: Wow, that car really was flying!
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at November 23, 2023 01:08 PM (JFmA+)
-

Musical interlude:

https://youtu.be/UPgS26ZhqZs

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 01:22 PM (BoX/+)

113 Want to bet drugs are involved in crash.

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2023 01:22 PM (YHzvM)

114 The reason I say medical event is I handled two such claims . One unfortunately involved other vehicles and caused serious injuries. The other was just a one vehicle accident like on the bridge.

But two in 35 years is pretty low considering.

Posted by: Drive by at November 23, 2023 01:22 PM (MNhXM)

115 Reminds me of a day after Thanksgiving when my Great-aunt Mary was boiling the turkey bones for soup. It simmered for two hours, filling the kitchen with a lovely aroma. She then placed a large strainer in the sink and carefully poured the broth in the pot through it.
Posted by: creeper at November 23, 2023 01:13 PM (cTCuP)

Maybe she was just trying to feed the homeless without having to go to a soup kitchen.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:23 PM (QBaJw)

116 >>It was supposedly worked out between the white house and some dude in Qa

Must have been one hell of negotiation.

Hamas: Hey, we are getting our balls blown off and we could use a timeout.

Israeli: Give us the hostages.

Hamas: How about if we just give you some.

Israel: Fine, some hostage for a brief timeout and then we will go back to blowing you up.

Hamas: .......

Nice job Joe.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 23, 2023 01:23 PM (ZLI7S)

117
My little town had a highway curve nicknamed 'dead man's curve'. Some members of my high school class who I would not call 'friends' were high as a kite (weed most likely) and went into the opposing lane at 100 plus mph. The unfortunate young married man with a son or daughter driving in the opposite direction took the steering wheel on his old clunker right through his chest.

All the potheads survived with varying amounts of teeth left. Life can sometimes be so incredibly cruel to the wrong people.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:23 PM (enJYY)

118 The "Flying-B" is the Bentley Logo.

Some Master of Snark need to make that video into a faux Bentley commercial.

/toosoon?

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at November 23, 2023 01:25 PM (e6UQI)

119 Nice job Joe.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 23, 2023 01:23 PM (ZLI7S)

I suspect the people making the negotiations don't have enough pull with the people who think the hostages are the only thing between living another day and being killed.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 23, 2023 01:25 PM (D7oie)

120 he final accident reconstructionist's report on this wreck will be interesting reading, indeed.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:20 PM (9vZrn)

Most likely there will be two competing reports.

Posted by: Drive by at November 23, 2023 01:25 PM (MNhXM)

121 The final accident reconstructionist's report on this wreck will be interesting reading, indeed.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:20 PM (9vZrn)

——————

It blowed up good. It blowed up real good!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 23, 2023 01:25 PM (u73oe)

122 It’s time for some common sense shitty, washed up rock band control.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 23, 2023 01:18 PM (u73oe)

Somewhat related, I forget which one, but one of the Kansas albums is dedicated to a fan who attended one of their concerts, and was in an accident on the way home. He lost his sight, and they said something trite like their show was the last thing he ever saw.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:25 PM (QBaJw)

123 America's NORTHERN border sees 550% increase in migrant 'apprehensions', as more than 6,000 crossers from 79 countries are nabbed

https://mol.im/a/12784485

--
Canada eh! How did they get into Canada in the first place, eh?

Posted by: Ciampino - Turkey deeds done dirt cheap at November 23, 2023 01:25 PM (qfLjt)

124 When my wife and I were dating, we had my mother over for Thanksgiving. First time wife had cooked a turkey (she's an excellent cook in most areas). Just before mealtime, my mother peeked in the oven and gestured to me to come over, then whispered, "Does she know it's upside down?". She didn't. Briefly mortified, we served the turkey and it was fine, just no crispy skin. I bring up the story once in a while, wife is still embarrassed when I do.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 23, 2023 01:26 PM (2cS/G)

125 This is spectacular. I’m having dinner later with my wife, three stepdaughters, and stepdaughter-in-law, all hopeless NPCs. I know am definitely going to have the opportunity to .drop the Johnny Utah quote and the fake Obama quote.

Posted by: Rse at November 23, 2023 01:26 PM (rr6kA)

126 It blowed up good. It blowed up real good!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 23, 2023 01:25 PM (u73oe)

Heh!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:26 PM (9vZrn)

127 We are blessed. Many family members are close by, so we have large gatherings. The young adults are self-sufficient, married and busy making many adorable babies. The lefty (and childless, of course) wet blankets live two states away and usually don't attend Thanksgiving with us. When they do, they can't gain any traction when they try to be lefty jerks.

Win all around.

Posted by: Emmie at November 23, 2023 01:28 PM (Sf2cq)

128 She didn't. Briefly mortified, we served the turkey and it was fine, just no crispy skin. I bring up the story once in a while, wife is still embarrassed when I do.
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 23, 2023 01:26 PM (2cS/G)

Isn't "upside down" the right way up for a roast turkey?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:28 PM (9vZrn)

129 Happy Thanksgiving, Horde!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at November 23, 2023 01:29 PM (Fu6um)

130 We brine the turkey, cook it breast side down, and blanket it with bacon. So juicy. Fabulous. Tastes just as good the next day.

Posted by: Rse at November 23, 2023 01:29 PM (rr6kA)

131 All the potheads survived with varying amounts of teeth left. Life can sometimes be so incredibly cruel to the wrong people.
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:23 PM (enJYY)

I remember a documentary I saw some years ago, a young man killed a teenage girl in an alcohol related accident.

After release from prison, part of his parole was a fine of some fairly large amount, and he was ordered to pay it off at $10 a month. Had to write a check every month.

The young man said it was the hardest thing he had to do in his life, every month writing that check.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:30 PM (QBaJw)

132 Isn't "upside down" the right way up for a roast turkey?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:28 PM (9vZrn)
-

For Pixy, yes.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 01:30 PM (BoX/+)

133
I've cooked turkey before half up, half down. It's supposed to keep them breast meat juicier.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:32 PM (enJYY)

134 106
It’s time for some common sense shitty, washed up rock band control.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 23, 2023 01:18 PM (u73oe)
----
The Pilgrims' Band is called "New Kids On The Rock".

Posted by: Ciampino - Turkey deeds done dirt cheap. at November 23, 2023 01:33 PM (qfLjt)

135 For Pixy, yes.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 01:30 PM (BoX/+)

For those of us living in Quito, Ecuador, you roast them on their side, propped up by plantains.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:33 PM (9vZrn)

136 I think some people do it upside down on purpose, but it must be on a different rack or something in the pan, because the way she did it turned much of the breast meat almost into turkey soup.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 23, 2023 01:34 PM (2cS/G)

137 Cooking a turkey upside down supposedly keeps the breast meat from drying out so much.

Posted by: Emmie at November 23, 2023 01:34 PM (Sf2cq)

138 For Pixy, yes.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 01:30 PM (BoX/+)

Do they even have turkeys down there? I would assume Thanksgiving for them involves cooking some type of marsupial.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:34 PM (QBaJw)

139 "Upside down."
Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

Posted by: Grandpa Simpson at November 23, 2023 01:34 PM (NBVIP)

140 Do they even have turkeys down there? I would assume Thanksgiving for them involves cooking some type of marsupial.
Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:34 PM (QBaJw)
-

Kangturken. You place the turkey in the pouch.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 01:36 PM (BoX/+)

141 Cooking a turkey upside down supposedly keeps the breast meat from drying out so much.
Posted by: Emmie at November 23, 2023 01:34 PM (Sf2cq)

My cousin's late wife always roasted turkey in a large brown paper bag, completely coated with butter, and stapled shut. The turkey so done was always very juicy.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:36 PM (9vZrn)

142 For those of us living in Quito, Ecuador, you roast them on their side, propped up by plantains.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:33 PM (9vZrn)

At the North Pole, Mrs. Claus cooks hers with the arse resting on the pan. One unfortunate elf has to hold it there the whole time.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:36 PM (QBaJw)

143 Do they even have turkeys down there? I would assume Thanksgiving for them involves cooking some type of marsupial.
Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:34 PM (QBaJw)

They have a turkey Emu-lator.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:37 PM (9vZrn)

144
132 Isn't "upside down" the right way up for a roast turkey?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:28 PM (9vZrn)
-

For Pixy, yes.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 01:30 PM (BoX/+)
----
Also Tierra del Fuego, South Africa, ....... and Penguins

Posted by: Ciampino - The possessed Turkey had a poultrygeist at November 23, 2023 01:37 PM (qfLjt)

145
As a postscript to the story, the pothead driving the car? Our class president sent out an email CC instead of BCC so I could go through every name. His is not on it. I never cared enough to look up his info on one of the snoop sites but I suspect he's been long departed. Anyone with half a conscience would find that an unbearable burden to carry throughout their life.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:37 PM (enJYY)

146 The best Thanksgivingman serves up lefty demented contractions with a smile and wholehearted nodding agreement:

Lefty Nephew: "That Trump, what a Nazi, right?"
Thanksgivingman (nodding): "Yeah absoultely, and worse, it's not like he's even going to support the Palestinians in their push for freedom from those Jews by cleansing them from Palistine."

Lefty Nephew: "Glad to see those J-6 insurrectionists getting it righteously from our DOJ, about time."
Thnakgivingman (nodding while nibbling some Turkey leg): "Yeah. And what makes it even better is their proper restraint prosecuting righteous protesters with real 1st Amendment rights, like BLM and Pro-freedom Palestinian supporters - so glad to see the DOJ used for our side, right?"

Posted by: Boswell at November 23, 2023 01:38 PM (K+UlC)

147 Kangturken. You place the turkey in the pouch.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 01:36 PM (BoX/+)

If you want it spicy, you stuff the bird with venomous snakes and spiders.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:38 PM (QBaJw)

148 I checked in the original posting and there was no mention.
It appears that ignorance of 'the Eighty-eighth' is solely mine.

Here's the quote:
Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the United States the Eighty-eighth.

Posted by: Braenyard at November 23, 2023 01:39 PM (mBcUV)

149 They have a turkey Emu-lator.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:37 PM (9vZrn)

Don't you mean Emu-gator?

Hah! Thanks, I'll be here all week. Tip your veal, try the waitress.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:40 PM (QBaJw)

150 “Society is part of the collapse of language,” says Sartre. The primary theme of Pickett’s essay on capitalist submaterial theory is the role of the participant as artist. Thus, in Erotica, Madonna affirms textual discourse; in Material Girl she reiterates subtextual cultural theory."

Real icebreakers!

There was less BS in the Chicago stockyards.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 23, 2023 01:41 PM (I/Qkd)

151 My cousin's late wife always roasted turkey in a large brown paper bag, completely coated with butter, and stapled shut. The turkey so done was always very juicy.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:36 PM (9vZrn)

—————

My mother did that one year. I’ll never forget seeing the flaming turkey being thrown out the back door into the snow.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 23, 2023 01:41 PM (u73oe)

152
*roasted turkey in a large brown paper bag, completely coated with butter, and stapled shut*

TurBagenButterStapleden! Boom!

Posted by: John Madden at November 23, 2023 01:42 PM (NBVIP)

153 140 Do they even have turkeys down there? I would assume Thanksgiving for them involves cooking some type of marsupial.
Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:34 PM (QBaJw)
-

Kangturken. You place the turkey in the pouch.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at November 23, 2023 01:36 PM (BoX/+)
----
I see. I thought it was a turkaroo.

Now see BurtTC, Australians don't celebrate Thanksgiving. That's a strictly USA holiday. The British Commonwealth used to celebrate Poppy Day early in November. I don't know if things have changed.

Posted by: Ciampino - The possessed Turkey had a poultry-geist at November 23, 2023 01:43 PM (qfLjt)

154
I found the pothead driver, deceased 2007 at 54 years of age. Few other details. Nobody saying anything about him.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:43 PM (enJYY)

155 Well, it's a nice, cloudy, gloomy day out there, but it's 32 degrees, and no wind. so if I were my insulated covvies, I can be quite toasty. May as well get on with it.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:44 PM (9vZrn)

156 *flaming oil gushing out and igniting everything*

".... With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could Fry!"

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at November 23, 2023 01:45 PM (e6UQI)

157 Yet another train derailment forcing another town to evacuate, this time from molten sulfur.

I'm sure Buttguy will be all over this.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 23, 2023 01:45 PM (ZLI7S)

158 Once.... only once I did turkey soup for Thanksgiving.

It's... disappointing.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 23, 2023 01:45 PM (Q4IgG)

159 Besides, catered from the market allows us to have two more dinners from it probably.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 01:46 PM (RSbhh)

160 I found the pothead driver, deceased 2007 at 54 years of age. Few other details. Nobody saying anything about him.
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:43 PM (enJYY)

My stoner best friend from HS died in a house fire (the classic fell asleep drunk with a lit cigarette). Reading his obit I found that his entire family was dead, save for his Mother. Her husband, two sons, and the only daughter all predeceased my friend.

We hadn't been in touch in 40 years but it was still sad.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at November 23, 2023 01:47 PM (aD39U)

161 Re: Bentley crash:
Did I miss a significant part of the discussion of how it happened? Or are you male morons being super-polite? My assumption from the beginning is that she was giving him a blow-job.

Posted by: Wenda at November 23, 2023 01:48 PM (1MfV9)

162 It makes you count your blessings.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at November 23, 2023 01:48 PM (aD39U)

163 left-overs are always tasty

Posted by: Braenyard at November 23, 2023 01:48 PM (mBcUV)

164 Now see BurtTC, Australians don't celebrate Thanksgiving. That's a strictly USA holiday. The British Commonwealth used to celebrate Poppy Day early in November. I don't know if things have changed.
Posted by: Ciampino - The possessed Turkey had a poultry-geist at November 23, 2023 01:43 PM (qfLjt)

Canada does indeed celebrate Thanksgiving, a month earlier than USA. There is no "Poppy Day" as such. That is Remembrance Day, November 11th, and it is dedicated to the memory of those who served in wars. A solemn occasion. Yes, poppies are worn, but to call it "Poppy Day" trivializes it.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:48 PM (9vZrn)

165 Outrage grows over video showing American Airlines workers tossing a wheelchair down a baggage chute

https://mol.im/a/12784199
Posted by: Ciampino - The turkey is poultry in motion at November 23, 2023 01:15 PM (qfLjt)
***

Well. It fit nicely so I don't see the issue as sending it down the chute. More a case of failing to catch it at the bottom.
Now if I were there, between flights this would be an epic ground crew event. Chuting for speed, distance, and amplitude.

Posted by: Diogenes at November 23, 2023 01:51 PM (uSHSS)

166 Verminous?

You sounded like Hitler just then.

Posted by: blaster at November 23, 2023 01:52 PM (nMiS+)

167 No queers in Islam eh!
Afghan refugee asked three boys for sex after release from detention

https://mol.im/a/12781967

Posted by: Ciampino - The goal is to gobble until you wobble. at November 23, 2023 01:52 PM (qfLjt)

168 If my obituary contains “died in his $300 thousand Bentley while getting road head” I’m gonna consider that a win.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 23, 2023 01:52 PM (u73oe)

169 Now see BurtTC, Australians don't celebrate Thanksgiving. That's a strictly USA holiday. The British Commonwealth used to celebrate Poppy Day early in November. I don't know if things have changed.
Posted by: Ciampino - The possessed Turkey had a poultry-geist at November 23, 2023 01:43 PM (qfLjt)

I was afraid someone would be rayciss about this. I'm so disappointed.

So disappointed. On Australian Thanksgiving Day. If I was down there tears would be flowing up my face.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:53 PM (QBaJw)

170 Bravo DEAce! Happy Thankgiving all. Your theory is spot on and deserves a seat at the grown up table. Cudos maybe next year.

Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at November 23, 2023 01:54 PM (rgIaS)

171 Say, did anyone remember to tell the Lions there’s a game today?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 23, 2023 01:54 PM (u73oe)

172
My assumption from the beginning is that she was giving him a blow-job.

Posted by: Wenda at November 23, 2023 01:48 PM

Having been the fortunate recipient of such an experience in my life I can assure you, from my limited male perspective, speeding up is the last thing you do. I think my words were, when the inevitable approached, "I can't drive another foot," and I stopped the car.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:54 PM (enJYY)

173 Once.... only once I did turkey soup for Thanksgiving.

I thought gravy was turkey soup.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at November 23, 2023 01:54 PM (JrojV)

174 A solemn occasion. Yes, poppies are worn, but to call it "Poppy Day" trivializes it.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:48 PM (9vZrn)

Almost as bad as calling this Turkey Day.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:54 PM (QBaJw)

175 Black Friday sales are a big thing in France of all
Places. Yeah go figure. And they call it Black Friday, in English.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 01:55 PM (bWsRe)

176 Canada does indeed celebrate Thanksgiving, a month earlier than USA.

What bird do you eat? Loon? Ptarmigan?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at November 23, 2023 01:55 PM (JrojV)

177 It was a city street. Road BJs are highway driving not city driving. So I’ve heard.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 01:56 PM (bWsRe)

178 You sounded like Hitler just then.

Farting noises?

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism, in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at November 23, 2023 01:57 PM (MjgAv)

179 176 Canada does indeed celebrate Thanksgiving, a month earlier than USA.

What bird do you eat? Loon? Ptarmigan?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at November 23, 2023 01:55 PM (JrojV)

They have poutine on a Ritz

Posted by: Crackers I tells ya at November 23, 2023 01:57 PM (8vw5b)

180 What bird do you eat? Loon? Ptarmigan?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at November 23, 2023 01:55 PM (JrojV)

Turkey, curiously enough. Although Ptarmigan is ptasty, ptoo.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:58 PM (9vZrn)

181 They have poutine on a Ritz

I thought that was Fetterman.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at November 23, 2023 01:58 PM (JrojV)

182
I think 'garret' is our resident expert on 'Road Head'. Now - as to whether he's the instigator or the recipient is a closely guarded secret that Ace has often insinuated.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:59 PM (enJYY)

183 Flash Email Traffic

Black Friday Kershaw Sale

https://bityl.co/MVrR

These might make good Christmas gifts.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at November 23, 2023 01:59 PM (aD39U)

184 No queers in Islam eh!
Afghan refugee asked three boys for sex after release from detention

https://mol.im/a/12781967
Posted by: Ciampino - The goal is to gobble until you wobble. at November 23, 2023 01:52 PM (qfLjt)

At least he asked. How polite of him.

Not unlike Louis C.K.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 01:59 PM (QBaJw)

185 This post is cruel. But I've become fairly adept dealing with liberal idiots.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 23, 2023 01:59 PM (RIvkX)

186 Years ago out of boredom I would go to Democrat Underground site and post. In the totally agreed on topic initially but by the 3rd line I posted facts contradicting the DU Dummies. What a hoot.. The posts were always deleted in a couple post I always of hours. I had great laughs..

Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at November 23, 2023 02:00 PM (rgIaS)

187 177 It was a city street. Road BJs are highway driving not city driving. So I’ve heard.
Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 01:56 PM (bWsRe)

Having lived a very sheltered and uneventful life I have only heard of this phenomenon as well.

Posted by: Sad but true at November 23, 2023 02:00 PM (8vw5b)

188 Having been the fortunate recipient of such an experience in my life I can assure you, from my limited male perspective, speeding up is the last thing you do. I think my words were, when the inevitable approached, "I can't drive another foot," and I stopped the car.
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:54 PM (enJYY)

Point being though, operating the pedals is very much impaired. I would assume some stomp on them, rather than let up.

Might depend on how good the beejer is.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 02:01 PM (QBaJw)

189 164

Canada does indeed celebrate Thanksgiving, a month earlier than USA. There is no "Poppy Day" as such. That is Remembrance Day, November 11th, and it is dedicated to the memory of those who served in wars. A solemn occasion. Yes, poppies are worn, but to call it "Poppy Day" trivializes it.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:48 PM (9vZrn)
----
I said it "used to be called" poppy day. At British schools we did celebrate it and silk poppies given out.

https://is.gd/2eLs3U

Posted by: Ciampino - The goal is to gobble until you wobble. at November 23, 2023 02:01 PM (qfLjt)

190 Turkey, curiously enough. Although Ptarmigan is ptasty, ptoo.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2023 01:58 PM (9vZrn)

Ptarmigan is pterrible

Posted by: Ptastes like ptar and ptrash at November 23, 2023 02:02 PM (8vw5b)

191
"... straight'n' the curves, flatten'n' the hills ..."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 23, 2023 02:03 PM (5pZqO)

192 Might depend on how good the beejer is.

Did she bite off more than she could chew?

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism, in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at November 23, 2023 02:03 PM (MjgAv)

193 I suppose every lumber dealer with a Bentley is getting a visit from the secret police today. Oh well...
"Anyway."

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at November 23, 2023 02:04 PM (4PZHB)

194 "Road Head" can be great, or it can be terrifying.

I mean, when you have to tell your ladyfriend to stop sucking yer shifter, and get her eyes back on the road to drive. But yeah, she's got that verve in her swerve!

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at November 23, 2023 02:04 PM (e6UQI)

195 I think 'garret' is our resident expert on 'Road Head'. Now - as to whether he's the instigator or the recipient is a closely guarded secret that Ace has often insinuated.
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 01:59 PM (enJYY)

I forget which movie it is, where George Carlin has a cameo as a drifter who gets around the country by giving head to truckers.

It's a brief scene, and ends with him getting in a truck, and exaggeratingly opens his mouth as he's going down on the driver.

Probably not a very good movie, but I still remember the look on Carlin's face as he's performing the scene.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 02:04 PM (QBaJw)

196 gript @griptmedia 1h
BREAK: Gript Media can confirm, via official sources, that the person of interest in the stabbing incident in Dublin today in which four people plus the assailant were injured, is understood at this stage by Gardai to be an Algerian national.

Sources stress that the investigation, including into the background of the person of interest, are at a very early stage and that the authenticity of nationality documentation, etc, has yet to be confirmed. However, this is the most up to date information.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 23, 2023 02:05 PM (krqg6)

197
Might depend on how good the beejer is.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 02:01 PM

Not sure that coming then going in a fiery crash is the way I'd wanna spend my final moments on planet earf. Plus the guy was mid 50's and married. What are the odds of 'road head' at that age. If he was truly lucky he might have been the recipient in his 20's, maybe 30's. Early 30's. But 50's?

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 02:06 PM (enJYY)

198 Did she bite off more than she could chew?
Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism, in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at November 23, 2023 02:03 PM (MjgAv)

Oh, now I'm remembering the movie, "The World According To Garp."

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 02:06 PM (QBaJw)

199 Worst Thanksgiving ever in 1977 I got food poisoning after eating a defrosted turkey part supposedly a drum stick while incarcerated in the Broward County Jail FL. Stomach hurt like he. Good times heh Strong Arm Robbery.

Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at November 23, 2023 02:07 PM (rgIaS)

200
A. Happy (and safe) Thanksgiving to you all.

B. Great post.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 23, 2023 02:07 PM (XeU6L)

201 175 Black Friday sales are a big thing in France of all
Places. Yeah go figure. And they call it Black Friday, in English.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 01:55 PM (bWsRe)
----
And they call it Black Friday, in English.

Charles de Gaulle must be rolling in his grave at the insult to the Francais language.

Posted by: Ciampino - That was plucking hilarious! at November 23, 2023 02:07 PM (qfLjt)

202 But 50's?
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 02:06 PM (enJYY)

We're not dead yet! We don't want to get on the cart!!

Posted by: Everyone Born Before 1973 at November 23, 2023 02:08 PM (QBaJw)

203 I just wanted to share a beautiful thing that just happened to me. During Halloween we have some houses that go way over the top with creepy decorations-fake, bloody heads on a rope, etc. A woman up the road from me had some large smiling inflatable pumpkins, so I wrote to her (I don't know her) and she sent a Halloween card back . I sent she and her family a Thanksgiving card, She just stopped by with her husband and children and gave me a lovely bouquet of flowers. I was so touched I got choked up!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 02:09 PM (RSbhh)

204 Charles de Gaulle must be rolling in his grave at the insult to the Francais language.

He had a lot of nerve.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at November 23, 2023 02:10 PM (JrojV)

205 199
Good times heh Strong Arm Robbery.

Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at November 23, 2023 02:07 PM (rgIaS)
----
So of you use the left arm is it called Weak Arm Robbery? Is it a lesser sentence?

Posted by: Ciampino - That is plucking hilarious! at November 23, 2023 02:10 PM (qfLjt)

206 I suppose every lumber dealer with a Bentley is getting a visit from the secret police today.
------
[eyes '98 Buick in the driveway]

Well, at least I'm safe on that point.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 23, 2023 02:10 PM (XeU6L)

207 Algerian National, Eh? So another Mormon terrorist.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 02:10 PM (bWsRe)

208 NOOD the new thread "Thanksgiving Open Thread" is below this one. I don't know why!

Posted by: m at November 23, 2023 02:11 PM (4tUZx)

209 Probably not a very good movie, but I still remember the look on Carlin's face as he's performing the scene.
Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 02:04 PM (QBaJw)
---
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

In a slightly later scene, the duo are picked up by a nun (played by Carrie Fisher). Jay attempts to go down on her because that's what it says in "The Book" according to George Carlin.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 23, 2023 02:11 PM (BpYfr)

210 Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 02:06 PM (enJYY)

I've never given a bj job in a car while it was moving. It sounds like a really bad idea with the driver being really distracted.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 02:11 PM (RSbhh)

211 Teh NOOD is timestamped:

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 02:05 PM

Posted by: m at November 23, 2023 02:11 PM (4tUZx)

212 Undernood

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at November 23, 2023 02:13 PM (aD39U)

213 The fact France is now Al-France is probably a bigger sore sport for zombie DeGaule as opposed to Black Friday.

Posted by: Montec at November 23, 2023 02:13 PM (bWsRe)

214 212 Undernood
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at November 23, 2023 02:13 PM (aD39U)

Yes! It's an undernood.

Posted by: m at November 23, 2023 02:14 PM (4tUZx)

215 I suppose every lumber dealer with a Bentley is getting a visit from the secret police today.
---

Yes. One can imagine the AI bots busily scanning hundreds of millions of posts, email, vehicle registrations, etc, etc. looking for correlative individual data.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 23, 2023 02:15 PM (XeU6L)

216 It's re-nood

Posted by: Braenyard at November 23, 2023 02:15 PM (mBcUV)

217 198
Oh, now I'm remembering the movie, "The World According To Garp."

Posted by: BurtTC at November 23, 2023 02:06 PM (QBaJw)
----
Boring movie and boring book. Almost/Is as bad as The English Patient, Out of Africa, Death in Venice, The Leopard, ......

Posted by: Ciampino - Enough with the prelude & let's get stuffed at November 23, 2023 02:15 PM (qfLjt)

218 Not sure that coming then going in a fiery crash is the way I'd wanna spend my final moments on planet earf. Plus the guy was mid 50's and married. What are the odds of 'road head' at that age. If he was truly lucky he might have been the recipient in his 20's, maybe 30's. Early 30's. But 50's?
Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 02:06 PM (enJYY)

I'd say marital status rather than age is the greater odds reducer in this case.

Posted by: Wedding cake leads to suppressed sex drive and excessive weight gain in females at November 23, 2023 02:17 PM (8vw5b)

219 I had soft hands.

Posted by: Roberta Muldoon at November 23, 2023 02:17 PM (aD39U)

220
I've never given a bj job in a car while it was moving. It sounds like a really bad idea with the driver being really distracted.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 02:11 PM

Thanks for clearing that up so promptly. I'll put you down as:
☐ Experienced and avid practitioner of 'Road Head'
☑ Not

Have a great holiday!

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 02:17 PM (enJYY)

221 Undernood > sidenood

Discuss.

Posted by: We argue about everything else so why not this? at November 23, 2023 02:17 PM (8vw5b)

222 Last part of the Thanksgiving proclamation is:

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the United States the Eighty-eighth.

Independence of the United States the Eighty-eighth.

What is the Eighty-eighth?

Posted by: Braenyard at November 23, 2023 02:18 PM (mBcUV)

223 The uncle (Mom's literal baby brother) who was the best instigator passed unexpectedly this fall. So it's a quiet dinner at the A house.

Posted by: DaveA at November 23, 2023 02:18 PM (FhXTo)

224 Distracted?
I almost drove off a bridge.

Posted by: Braenyard at November 23, 2023 02:19 PM (mBcUV)

225 Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 23, 2023 02:17 PM (enJYY)

That's o.k. Whatever my accomplishments in life I won't mind not being known for giving road head in a moving vehicle.

You have a good holiday too.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 23, 2023 02:20 PM (RSbhh)

226 She just stopped by with her husband and children and gave me a lovely bouquet of flowers. I was so touched I got choked up!
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

There still are some nice people in the world.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at November 23, 2023 02:26 PM (ttNkD)

227 'The man who is slowest to arm himself is quickest to savor the bounties of Heaven.'
^^^Gold...that is fukn Gold!^^^

I am witholding any comment of the Flying Bently until I hear who the dude donated campaign money to. THAT is the important thang.
Dinner tonight? I couldn't find a leg of Lamb, so glommed onto a lamb roast. 2lbs for around $12.(Both nearby Krogers have had a no show Butcher all week...meat counters bare, unattended, though they found someone to put the fish out)
Almost grabbed a nicely marbled bone in Ribeye roast, marked down from $78> $53....but figured it would likely be marked down even more tomorrow or the day after. Little market for large cuts of meat right after T-Day.

Posted by: birddog at November 23, 2023 02:38 PM (1E8/t)

228 You do know you can throw these left-wing assholes out of your house, right? Never to return, right?

I don't put up with their politics at my place, and they know it. My brother-in-law tried it once years ago. He hasn't been back because I tossed him.

Don't allow them to ruin things. Boot 'em.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at November 23, 2023 03:05 PM (Qt4kF)

229 Roissy used to call it "agree and amplify".

Posted by: clams on the half shell and roller skates, roller skates at November 23, 2023 06:40 PM (kvDvI)

230 That religious wars one triggered me, so here goes.

The truth is that most athiests are highly intelligent persons who spend their entire lives fighting a fantasy that doesn't exist.

Posted by: Pogo 1000 at November 24, 2023 08:07 AM (QtIQn)

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