Quick Hits

FBI agent Charles McGonigal has pleaded guilty to conspiring to use his position to aid Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska.

As anticipated, former FBI official Charles McGonigal pled guilty on Tuesday to one count of conspiracy in federal court in New York arising out of his efforts to aid Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska in evading U.S. sanctions.

How much do you want to bet he's sentenced to "live with his own conscience"?

The Information filed Tuesday (and which can be viewed in its entirety below) alleged one count of conspiracy to violate the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA), which authorizes the president to regulate international commerce, including investigating and imposing controls on transactions and freezing foreign assets under U.S. jurisdiction when a national emergency is declared as to any external "unusual and extraordinary threat to the United States."
The Information alleges that in furtherance of the conspiracy, McGonigal:

a. From in or about August 2021 through in or about November 2021, McGONIGAL and others, acting at the behest of Oleg Deripaska, whom the United States Department of the Treasury's Office of Foreign Assets Control designated as a Specially Designated National on or about April 6, 2018, sought to gather derogatory information about a rival of Deripaska, in violation of IEEPA.
b. From in or about August 2021 through in or about November 2021, McGONIGAL and others received and routed payments from Deripaska through two corporations, neither of which was registered in the name of McGONIGAL or Deripaska, in an effort to conceal that the payments originated from Deripaska.

Oh he was digging up dirt on Deripaska's enemies?

That's interesting, because Oleg Deripaska has previously hired "dossier" fabricator Christopher Steele to do "research" for him on an "unspecified legal project." Probably the exact same stuff Charles McGonigal was paid off to do.

Another sweetheart deal:

McGonigal was originally charged with five counts, including conspiracy to defraud the United States, money laundering (and conspiracy to commit same), and violating the IEEPA (and conspiracy to commit same). Pursuant to Tuesday's plea, the remaining four charges will be dismissed.

Is this "irony"? Or was this the entire point?

McGonigal, 55, was formerly the FBI special agent in charge of the bureau's counterintelligence division from 2016 to 2018, which ironically meant that he was involved in investigating former President Donald Trump for Russian collusion, then essentially engaged in it himself.
...
Additionally, McGonigal was allegedly working to help get Deripaska removed from the sanctions list, prosecutors said.
The American was in talks, along with co-conspirators, to get a $650,000 to $3 million fee to search for hidden assets of $500 which belong to Deripaska's business rival.

I don't know if I wrote about this last week or not. But in case you missed it -- and in case I missed it -- a federal judge accused the Biden Administration of "strong arming" social media companies to censor people the government didn't like. She even likened the Biden Administration to the mafia.

In further The Mere Illusion of Access news, guess who's picture Burisma featured on its website?

That's right -- Joe Biden's.

Remember, this is about the illusion of access. It's definitely not about a corrupt company engaged in money-laundering showing off which major American players are in its pocket, so back off, prosecutors!

Hunter Biden wrote to Burisma to take the picture down. He didn't want it to be so obvious.

Hunter Biden and his business associates told Ukrainian energy firm Burisma to remove a picture of then-Vice President Joe Biden and Burisma board member Devon Archer from its website, emails from the Hunter Biden laptop archive show.
In May 2014, then-VP Biden's counsel Demetra Lambros told Eric Schwerin, a business associate at Hunter Biden's investment firm Rosemont Seneca Partners, to have Burisma remove an image of Joe Biden and Archer from its website, according to emails from Biden's laptop archive.
"Hey, guys," Schwerin said in a May 13, 2014 email to Hunter Biden and Archer. "There is apparently a photo of Devon and the VP on Burisma's website (I can't see it -- the website isn't working very well right now) but Demetra (VP Counsel) called and asked that we tell Burisma they need to take it down (legally they aren't comfortable with the VP's picture being up on the site as what seems like an endorsement)."

It seems like an open endorsement, they mean. They wanted to keep the endorsement from The Big Guy covert.

Budweiser has a new marketing scheme and I'm pretty sure they can say goodbye to their recent woes after this brilliant bit of marketing: They're Butching Up their beer cans and praising (get this) The Troops.

Twitchy quotes from CBS earlier this month:

For Anheuser-Busch Inbev, the aftereffects of a marketing promotion involving Bud Light and transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney is lingering like a bad hangover.
The brewing giant on Thursday reported that its U.S. revenue in April-to-June quarter fell 10.5% from a year ago, attributing the decline "primarily due to the volume decline of Bud Light." It has lost its place as America's best-selling beer after more than two decades, slipping into second place in June behind Mexican lager Modelo Especial, which is also owned by the Belgium-based ABInBev.

A-B must be big fans of Transgender Influencer Jake Tapper, because they've used Tapper's ploy of getting out a jam by going to VetCon One.

Their new slogan will be, "Budweiser: Cram more man into your can."

OK that's not their slogan but it should be. Because their idea of "camo" is ruby red. That would not serve as camouflage anywhere except at a Wizard of Oz theme night at the rollerdisco.

The irony of watching Rachel Maddow and Hillary Clinton scold people for spreading conspiracy theories about stolen elections when they were the biggest Trump-Russian collusion hoaxers after the 2016 election. pic.twitter.com/ptBksdnCpZ
— Kevin Tober (@KevinTober94) August 15, 2023

Here’s @megynkelly once again solidifying her position as my number one girl crush… pic.twitter.com/NLwAFUC0Y3
— CCP IS ASSHOE (@CCPISASSH0E) August 16, 2023

Leftwing pundit Krystal Ball blasts Biden for being asleep for the Maui wildfire disaster relief efforts.

In fairness, he's asleep for every aspect of "his" Administration.

Krystal Ball on the Maui wildfires: "I can't help but think, you know, if this happened to some part of the country that Joe Biden had more connection to, cared more about, there would be a totally different response from him." pic.twitter.com/qlqYS7pyof
— Post-Left Watch (@PostLeftWatch) August 16, 2023

Geraldo looks like he smells like moldy sneakers and male enhancement cream. And also, like he just got done silk-screening Free Mustache Ride novelty t-shirts for his own private collection.

He claims he has "no beef" with Tucker Carlson -- except for the fact that Tucker Carlson is, he claims, "unforgivable" and "malevolent."

But other than that, no beef.

Geraldo Rivera verbally assaults @TuckerCarlson calling him 'pathetic' 'malevolent' and 'unforgivable' -- Claims he has 'NO beef' with Tucker

"He made a mockery of the tenants of journalism."

He's not bitter... pic.twitter.com/3G0woBbgbB
— Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) August 15, 2023

I feel the same way about David French and Jonah Goldberg.

Posted by: Ace at 07:15 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Top 100?

Posted by: Weasel at August 16, 2023 07:15 PM (RG6z4)

2 So all along it was the Eff Bee Eye doing Russian Collusion

Posted by: Skip at August 16, 2023 07:18 PM (MOY79)

3 ||A new report into the fatal shooting on the set of the movie Rust appears to cast doubt over star and producer Alec Baldwin’s accounts of events.

Mr Baldwin denies pulling the trigger of the prop gun which went off, killing cinematographer Halyna Hutchins.

Weapons experts have now said the trigger would have “had to be pulled”. [...]

"Although Alec Baldwin repeatedly denies pulling the trigger, given the tests, findings and observations reported here, the trigger had to be pulled or depressed sufficiently to release the fully cocked or retracted hammer of the evidence revolver," said an excerpt of the weapons report included in the court documents.

"If the hammer had not been fully retracted to the rear, and were to slip from the handler's thumb without the trigger depressed, the half cock or quarter cock notches in the hammer should have prevented the firing pin from reaching any cartridge in the firing chamber."

It continued: "If these features were somehow bypassed, a conspicuously off-centre firing pin impression would result."||
BBC https://tinyurl.com/5xwjs8kc

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 16, 2023 07:18 PM (krqg6)

4 "Budweiser: Cram more man into your can."

"OK that's not their slogan but it should be. Because their idea of "camo" is ruby red. That would not serve as camouflage anywhere except at a Wizard of Oz theme night at the rollerdisco."

Hilarious. You've always-as long as I've been reading ASHQ-been very funny, Ace, but perhaps the short break aided your dark humor.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2023 07:18 PM (Keyt1)

5 Their new slogan will be, "Budweiser: Cram more man into your can."

I snorted out loud.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at August 16, 2023 07:19 PM (aD39U)

6 nood called BTW

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 16, 2023 07:19 PM (krqg6)

7 MeAgain brings it Ace… she does work for who pays her, I have to admit…

Posted by: tubal at August 16, 2023 07:20 PM (PCK5/)

8 "He made a mockery of the tenants of journalism."
______

Who are these people, whom Tucker mocked, renting from journalism?

Posted by: Eeyore at August 16, 2023 07:22 PM (brAQZ)

9 Why? Why is Jerry Rivers still on the air? I've seen more intelligent vacuum cleaner bags, and they suck less.

Posted by: Archimedes at August 16, 2023 07:22 PM (eOEVl)

10 >"He made a mockery of the tenants of journalism."

start with grammar

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:22 PM (geLO8)

11
Hey, fair is fair you Russian paid ULTRAMAGA far right monster who should be in jail if not for how fair and decent democrats are.

Posted by: Auspex at August 16, 2023 07:22 PM (j4U/Z)

12 And the Bud “ veterans” can is gay… really gay… a Disco Ball beer can… looks like it could have been designed by Nathan Lane in The Bird Cage…

Posted by: tubal at August 16, 2023 07:22 PM (PCK5/)

13 In case you missed it below, I looked up how many Burisma board meetings Hunter attended during the five years he was a board member at $83,000 per month.

Zero.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at August 16, 2023 07:22 PM (htcoL)

14 McGonigal, 55, was formerly the FBI special agent in charge of the bureau's counterintelligence division

The Sovs/Rooskies have always been keen o going after the Counter Intel groups. This partly shows why.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 16, 2023 07:22 PM (hv9bm)

15 "He made a mockery of the tenants of journalism."

start with grammar

He made a mockery of the tents of journalism? Better?

Posted by: Archimedes at August 16, 2023 07:23 PM (eOEVl)

16 Who are the tenants of journalism and why haven't they paid their rent in 50 years?

Posted by: ... at August 16, 2023 07:23 PM (lX8VI)

17 I see Jerry is playing to his strength: irrelevant blowhard.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at August 16, 2023 07:24 PM (2YtOq)

18 I don't know if I wrote about this last week or not. But in case you missed it -- and in case I missed it -- a federal judge accused the Biden Administration of "strong arming" social media companies to censor people the government didn't like. She even likened the Biden Administration to the mafia.

-----------

All I know is, if there are people in this country who DON'T look at your government as if it is a criminal organization, then none of this makes sense to you.

If you do, then it does.

Posted by: BurtTC at August 16, 2023 07:24 PM (dGCAG)

19 Budweiser should have opted for Dazzle camouflage since the entire brand is now a sinking ship.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at August 16, 2023 07:24 PM (guGkK)

20 Wow. I thought Megyn's husband just asked her to make a sammich or something.

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2023 07:25 PM (v0R5T)

21 Poor Krystal Ball. She has the perfect stripper name and the face of a salty old Russian sailor.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at August 16, 2023 07:25 PM (O3tnF)

22 > He claims he has "no beef" with Tucker Carlson -- except for the fact that Tucker Carlson is, he claims, "unforgivable" and "malevolent."

Malevolent: adv: Having, showing, or arising from intense often vicious ill will, spite, or hatred.

Calling someone "malevolent" is calling them deeply evil.

This is like that line from Dumb & Dumber where Lloyd tells Harry, "Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense."

Posted by: bonhomme at August 16, 2023 07:25 PM (V1QHJ)

23 Geraldo has always had an out-sized opinion of his own awesomeness

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:25 PM (geLO8)

24 19 Budweiser should have opted for Dazzle camouflage since the entire brand is now a sinking ship.

I'm expecting Budweiser's next campaign to be "Why are all these homosexuals trying to suck my c***?".

Posted by: Archimedes at August 16, 2023 07:25 PM (eOEVl)

25 "He made a mockery of the tenants of journalism."

start with grammar

He made a mockery of the tents of journalism? Better?
Posted by: Archimedes at August 16, 2023 07:23 PM (eOEVl)

Is that like castigating the canvas of journalism?

Posted by: Diogenes at August 16, 2023 07:26 PM (hv9bm)

26 Linda Yaccarino (the gal Musk hired as CEO) is wasting no time getting the old censorship band back together in plenty of time for the next election.

It was fun while it lasted.

https://tinyurl.com/4a2c36ss

Posted by: IrishEi at August 16, 2023 07:26 PM (3ImbR)

27 Camo can
---------

Camo is probably short for camisole

Posted by: ... at August 16, 2023 07:26 PM (lX8VI)

28 Their new slogan will be, "Budweiser: Cram more man into your can."

---
I snorted out loud.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at August 16, 2023 07:19 PM (aD39U)

I'm waiting for Steve Buschemi to show up wearing a backward cap, saying "hello, fellow Veterans."

Posted by: BurtTC at August 16, 2023 07:27 PM (dGCAG)

29 I like fiery Megyn. She'd make a good avenging angel, or Valkyrie.

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:27 PM (geLO8)

30 Krystal Ball needs to work out some to get back to her stripper pole

Posted by: Skip at August 16, 2023 07:27 PM (MOY79)

31 >>(legally they aren't comfortable with the VP's picture being up on the site as what seems like an endorsement)."

We offered them the Image and Likeness rider, but they balked at the per-view fee.

Posted by: Demetra (VP Counsel) at August 16, 2023 07:28 PM (O3tnF)

32 where would you wear red camouflage

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:28 PM (geLO8)

33 AZ Gov wants state to indict Trump.

Posted by: It's happening at August 16, 2023 07:28 PM (WwbIJ)

34 rump was behind the hiring of VP Bitch of marketing at Buttwiper and also had the FIB guy do bad things with Russia. 500 more indictments coming up!

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at August 16, 2023 07:29 PM (17s+e)

35 > Geraldo has always had an out-sized opinion of his own awesomeness

I loved when Geraldo tried to talk tough to Dan Bongino and Bongino calmly told Jerry to slow down and think about what he was saying.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 16, 2023 07:29 PM (V1QHJ)

36 where would you wear red camouflage
Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:28 PM (geLO

*chambers a round*

Don't ask, don't tell.

Posted by: BurtTC at August 16, 2023 07:30 PM (dGCAG)

37 where would you wear red camouflage
Posted by: DB

Maple tree in the fall?

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 16, 2023 07:30 PM (TZ75n)

38 where would you wear red camouflage
Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:28 PM (geLO

The Red Velvet Lounge

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 16, 2023 07:30 PM (4I/2K)

39 Rachel and hILLRY starring in: The Unfuckables

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2023 07:30 PM (v0R5T)

40 Doggeh says hi

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at August 16, 2023 07:30 PM (vHIgi)

41 The Buttwiper can would be a real hit in Hot Pink Camo. Also get a free pair of bedazzled high heel crocks with 5 UPC codes from Buttwiper 24 packs.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at August 16, 2023 07:31 PM (17s+e)

42 We have a government of the kleptocrats, by the kleptocrats, for the kleptocrats.

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at August 16, 2023 07:32 PM (vHIgi)

43 AZ Gov wants state to indict Trump.
Posted by: It's happening at August 16, 2023 07:28 PM (WwbIJ)
........

That old dishrag Hobbs?

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2023 07:32 PM (v0R5T)

44 AZ Gov wants state to indict Trump.
Posted by: It's happening at August 16, 2023 07:28 PM (WwbIJ)

As I've said before, this is like the scene from The Incredibles, when Mr. Incredible discovers Syndrome's plan, and he's trying to escape his lair. There's a long bridge, and Bob is running, as these rubber cannonballs start hitting him from all sides.

Any one expanding rubber ball is not enough to stop Mr. Incredible, but the sheer mass of them, all hitting him, one after the other... eventually Mr. Incredible is swallowed in the rubber tomb.

Posted by: BurtTC at August 16, 2023 07:33 PM (dGCAG)

45 Is that "tenants" or "tenets" of journalism?

Posted by: Emmie at August 16, 2023 07:33 PM (Sf2cq)

46 Seriously laughing at Geraldo thinking someone else makes a mockery of journalism.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at August 16, 2023 07:33 PM (OX9vb)

47 >>where would you wear red camouflage

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:28 PM

Mars.

Posted by: huerfano at August 16, 2023 07:33 PM (7zEAH)

48 >AZ Gov wants state to indict Trump.

Get in line.

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:33 PM (geLO8)

49 29 I like fiery Megyn. She'd make a good avenging angel, or Valkyrie.
----------
We could use a man like Claus von Stauffenberg again

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 16, 2023 07:33 PM (krqg6)

50 > Geraldo has always had an out-sized opinion of his own awesomeness
........

See the picture of himself on the wall in the left side bookcase?

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2023 07:34 PM (v0R5T)

51
In case you missed it below, I looked up how many Burisma board meetings Hunter attended during the five years he was a board member at $83,000 per month.

Zero.
Posted by: Thomas Paine

+++++++++++++

Last thread ended way too soon! (i.e., I had just arrived.)

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 16, 2023 07:35 PM (Y20nq)

52 Hilarious. You've always-as long as I've been reading ASHQ-been very funny, Ace, but perhaps the short break aided your dark humor.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2023 07:18 PM (Keyt1)

Second that emotion.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at August 16, 2023 07:35 PM (OX9vb)

53 "I loved when Geraldo tried to talk tough to Dan Bongino and Bongino calmly told Jerry to slow down and think about what he was saying."

That phony tough guy bullshit is Rivera's most loathsome quality. I would love to tell that buffoon "look pops, you were never that tough in your prime, and you're way past that. Shut your silly mouth before someone cracks your dentures."

Posted by: UGAdawg at August 16, 2023 07:35 PM (tRd71)

54 >Is that "tenants" or "tenets" of journalism?

Posted by: Emmie

tenet:

a principle or belief, especially one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:35 PM (geLO8)

55 I think Ace just saw through the bullshit. I'd bet that's exactly what marketing at InBev was thinking.
It's funny as fuck because it isn't funny. It's true.
And Kudos. I spit beer on my screen.

Posted by: Reforger at August 16, 2023 07:35 PM (B705c)

56 >where would you wear red camouflage

The color red disappears at less than 15 feet underwater. Throw it in a lake.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 16, 2023 07:35 PM (V1QHJ)

57 I think what Krystal Ball is saying is that senile Dipshit Joe doesn't even know Hawaii is part of the US.

Posted by: Wally at August 16, 2023 07:36 PM (VEm33)

58
FBI agent Charles McGonigal has pleaded guilty to conspiring to use his position to aid Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska.

++++++++++++

Nothing like a Guilty plea nowadays.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 16, 2023 07:36 PM (Y20nq)

59 As I noted, yesterday they're apparently going to have every state they cheated in indict Trump as a GOTV against him.

Posted by: ... at August 16, 2023 07:37 PM (lX8VI)

60 See the picture of himself on the wall in the left side bookcase?
Posted by: wth

First thing I noticed.

Posted by: Infidel at August 16, 2023 07:37 PM (n2500)

61 CCPISASSHO should remember that Kelly is 100% gold plated prostitute.

Posted by: Braenyard at August 16, 2023 07:37 PM (AbYHm)

62 No dog >>> no beef.

Posted by: B. Hussein Obama, Esq. at August 16, 2023 07:37 PM (a3Q+t)

63 Red is camouflage to people who don't know what camouflage is.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at August 16, 2023 07:37 PM (JKOwX)

64 CCPISASSHO should remember that Kelly is 100% gold plated prostitute.
Posted by: Braenyard

I think at her level they are called escorts

Posted by: BruceWayne at August 16, 2023 07:38 PM (MGB5H)

65 That phony tough guy bullshit is Rivera's most loathsome quality. I would love to tell that buffoon "look pops, you were never that tough in your prime, and you're way past that. Shut your silly mouth before someone cracks your dentures."
Posted by: UGAdawg at August 16, 2023 07:35 PM (tRd71)
.......

This too, is the story of Joe.

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2023 07:38 PM (v0R5T)

66 Rushoooon Kolluzhion !

Posted by: runner at August 16, 2023 07:39 PM (V13WU)

67 Camouflaged beer?

WTF?

Posted by: Reforger at August 16, 2023 07:39 PM (B705c)

68
In further The Mere Illusion of Access news, guess who's picture Burisma featured on its website?

+++++++++++++

Was he curled up on a bearskin rug?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 16, 2023 07:39 PM (Y20nq)

69 Yea, nobody is buying Butt Lite, nor their pandering bullshit. Red camo is good for fires I suppose.

Posted by: Minnfidel at August 16, 2023 07:40 PM (GwxCX)

70 In further The Mere Illusion of Access news, guess who's picture Burisma featured on its website?

+++++++++++++

Was he curled up on a bearskin rug?
Posted by: Blonde Morticia

Maybe he went with the "Burt Reynolds"

Posted by: BruceWayne at August 16, 2023 07:40 PM (MGB5H)

71 tenet:

a principle or belief, especially one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy
Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:35 PM (geLO

* forwards DB's knowledge to Mr. Rivera or Daily Caller or whomever needs this info *

Posted by: Emmie at August 16, 2023 07:40 PM (Sf2cq)

72 If there had just been one interesting thing in that fuckin
safe, I'd be like Edward Morrow or something, man.

Posted by: Jerry Rivers at August 16, 2023 07:41 PM (sWM8x)

73 Camouflaged beer?

WTF?
Posted by: Reforger

Guys who drink Bud don't always want their boyfriend to know they don't like Zuma.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at August 16, 2023 07:41 PM (JKOwX)

74 Tucker Carlson doesn't even have a moustache. Q.E.D.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at August 16, 2023 07:41 PM (ppBhU)

75 Hillary and Maddow. Twice the rancid lying cunts.

Posted by: No, make that a geometric increase in lying cuntitude at August 16, 2023 07:42 PM (fhX0j)

76
As I've said before, this is like the scene from The Incredibles, when Mr. Incredible discovers Syndrome's plan, and he's trying to escape his lair. There's a long bridge, and Bob is running, as these rubber cannonballs start hitting him from all sides.

Any one expanding rubber ball is not enough to stop Mr. Incredible, but the sheer mass of them, all hitting him, one after the other... eventually Mr. Incredible is swallowed in the rubber tomb.
Posted by: BurtTC

++++++++++++++++

And yet, he lives to beat Syndrome.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 16, 2023 07:42 PM (Y20nq)

77 "I'd take him back behind the gym and beat the hell out of him." - President Mudpants in 2020 to Trump.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 16, 2023 07:42 PM (TZ75n)

78 Hilarious. You've always-as long as I've been reading ASHQ-been very funny, Ace, but perhaps the short break aided your dark humor.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2023 07:18 PM

For Ace, short break = secret mission.

Not to blow his cover, or anything.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 16, 2023 07:42 PM (a3Q+t)

79 CCPISASSHO should remember that Kelly is 100% gold plated prostitute.
Posted by: Braenyard at August 16, 2023 07:37 PM

So same price as in town, cuz, worth it.

Posted by: Minnfidel at August 16, 2023 07:43 PM (GwxCX)

80 Autocorrect is not your friend
it will use any means necessary, fair and unfair, to trip you up

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:43 PM (geLO8)

81 When the mafia ssays "Nice place... it'd be a shame if anything happened to it" they are literally only creating the illusion of violence. Does that make it ok?

Posted by: 496 at August 16, 2023 07:43 PM (DjwrL)

82 Was he curled up on a bearskin rug?
Posted by: Blonde Morticia
......

With a sterile pad peeking out of his tighty whities?

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2023 07:43 PM (v0R5T)

83 32 where would you wear red camouflage
Posted by: DB

In a volcano

Posted by: nurse ratched, otter 841 superfan! at August 16, 2023 07:44 PM (LPplg)

84 Speaking of Rooshia...they opened an exhibition of captured Western weapons in Moscow. Let's send Ukes some more advanced systems ! Their DM is already bragging that they will send the vulnerability data to ...well whoever they want. I presume China.

Posted by: runner at August 16, 2023 07:44 PM (V13WU)

85 Camo Bud is too hard to find. Screw it, I'll just buy another beer.

Posted by: InZona at August 16, 2023 07:44 PM (2aWgS)

86 Guys who drink Bud don't always want their boyfriend to know they don't like Zuma.
Posted by: Thomas Paine at August 16, 2023 07:41 PM

Word.

Posted by: B Obama, Totes Not Ghey at August 16, 2023 07:44 PM (GwxCX)

87 Only YOU can prevent posting errors

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:44 PM (geLO8)

88 So there I was putting a can in a man and I said "If you relax I can get two cans in you." And he said "I Don't like Fruit Loops."

Ironic.

Posted by: Peter Bootyjuice at August 16, 2023 07:45 PM (17s+e)

89 Jerry Rivers is a little bitch

Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at August 16, 2023 07:45 PM (flINI)

90 Autocorrect is not your friend

+++

never been my friend

Posted by: runner at August 16, 2023 07:45 PM (V13WU)

91 Geraldo's best moment was when he got hit in the face by a chair.

Posted by: illiniwek at August 16, 2023 07:45 PM (Cus5s)

92 Red Camo.....Mars !

Posted by: runner at August 16, 2023 07:46 PM (V13WU)

93 Tenets, anyone??

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 16, 2023 07:46 PM (krqg6)

94 Geraldo's best moment was when he got hit in the face by a chair.

Posted by: illiniwek at August 16, 2023 07:45 PM

I think you meant, cock. Must be your auto correct homie.

Posted by: B Obama, Totes Not Ghey at August 16, 2023 07:46 PM (GwxCX)

95 Hillary and Maddow. Twice the rancid lying cunts.
Posted by: No, make that a geometric increase in lying cuntitude at August 16, 2023 07:42 PM

Why stop at two?

Posted by: The View at August 16, 2023 07:46 PM (a3Q+t)

96 Butt Lite should try the generic route: a white can with BEER in black letters.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at August 16, 2023 07:47 PM (sWM8x)

97 You know those dumb ass rubes all you need to make them happy is say ‘Murica show a picture of a solider and the flag and they’ll crawl right back.
- Bud Marketing Team

Posted by: Montec at August 16, 2023 07:47 PM (gy9qi)

98 It's just an illusion of access. A fantasy, if you will. And just because you have a fantasy, a very strong, very frequent fantasy, that doesn't mean you actually suck cocktail.

Wait...What were we talking about?

Posted by: B. Obama at August 16, 2023 07:47 PM (VEm33)

99 Only YOU can prevent posting errors
Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:44 PM

That's a lot of pressure to put on me.

Posted by: Minnfidel at August 16, 2023 07:47 PM (GwxCX)

100 Joe has now pulled ahead of Brian Williams

Posted by: REDACTED at August 16, 2023 07:48 PM (us2H3)

101 Aug. 16, 2023 / 12:40 PM
New Jersey power outage caused by falling fish

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:49 PM (geLO8)

102 The NFL also does the stupid muhMilitary thing. And way too many dumb asses fall for it.

Posted by: Montec at August 16, 2023 07:50 PM (gy9qi)

103 You know those dumb ass rubes all you need to make them happy is say ‘Murica show a picture of a solider and the flag and they’ll crawl right back.
- Bud Marketing Team
Posted by: Montec at August 16, 2023 07:47 PM

Yep. Screw them and their woke swill. They got their core customers to enjoy other beers that don't taste like ass. Good luck fellas.

Posted by: Minnfidel at August 16, 2023 07:50 PM (GwxCX)

104 That's a lot of pressure to put on me.
Posted by: Minnfidel at August 16, 2023 07:47 PM

Pressure? What's that?

Posted by: OceanGate at August 16, 2023 07:51 PM (a3Q+t)

105 Geraldo is one tenant of journalism who should have been evicted long ago.

Posted by: Oglebay at August 16, 2023 07:51 PM (ogTiX)

106
Linda Yaccarino (the gal Musk hired as CEO) is wasting no time getting the old censorship band back together in plenty of time for the next election.

It was fun while it lasted.

https://tinyurl.com/4a2c36ss
Posted by: IrishEi

+++++++++++++++

omg.

Today's "docket" at https://tinyurl.com/23shkwbv

Number Two Will Have You Somersaulting!!!

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 16, 2023 07:51 PM (Y20nq)

107 Good grief, we had the potential for the second best governor in America, but we ended up with Hobby Horse.

Posted by: InZona at August 16, 2023 07:51 PM (2aWgS)

108 I honestly don’t get why anyone would rink Piss Lite. Yeah it’s cheap. But there are a lot of other cheap beers that are better.

Posted by: Montec at August 16, 2023 07:52 PM (gy9qi)

109 My man prefers an Michelob Ultra Lite can. Easier to pack em in.

Posted by: Peter Bootyjuice at August 16, 2023 07:52 PM (17s+e)

110 Geraldo has always had an out-sized opinion of his own awesomeness
Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:25 PM (geLO

I've never gotten Jerry River's appeal.

I noticed that you can see over on the left side in the background a paper mask of his face. What sort of goof keeps something like that? Dude sure does love himself.

Posted by: Retired Buckeye Cop is now an engineer at August 16, 2023 07:53 PM (pJWtt)

111 Number Two Will Have You Somersaulting!!!
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 16, 2023 07:51 PM

I can help with that.

Posted by: Mucalex at August 16, 2023 07:53 PM (a3Q+t)

112 108 I honestly don’t get why anyone would rink Piss Lite. Yeah it’s cheap. But there are a lot of other cheap beers that are better.
Posted by: Montec at August 16, 2023 07:52 PM (gy9qi)

Proof that marketing is effective? Right up until it's not!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at August 16, 2023 07:53 PM (OX9vb)

113 Tenets, anyone??
Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 16, 2023 07:46 PM (krqg6)

Yes. I know, American English can be complicated, but if you write for a living, GET IT RIGHT!

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Missing the Point at August 16, 2023 07:53 PM (T/Lqj)

114 63 Red is camouflage to people who don't know what camouflage is.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at August 16, 2023 07:37 PM (JKOwX)

Also, a large white painted area on the front of camouflaged military vehicles is not very popular with the vehicle crews.

Posted by: Gref at August 16, 2023 07:53 PM (AMIL/)

115 Good grief, we had the potential for the second best governor in America, but we ended up with Hobby Horse.
Posted by: InZona at

All I can think of when I read hobby horse

https://tinyurl.com/23wcmwcx

Posted by: BruceWayne at August 16, 2023 07:54 PM (MGB5H)

116 The NFL gets paid with our military tax dollars for their "Salute to Soldiers" bullshit.

Posted by: Regular joe at August 16, 2023 07:54 PM (nnp+f)

117 Is Bud going to do 100 days of Great American Military Trannies?

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 16, 2023 07:56 PM (O1z4v)

118 I'm like Conan the Barbarian, man. I mean the real one, not Ahnold.

Posted by: Jerry Rivers at August 16, 2023 07:56 PM (sWM8x)

119 Out of Gin, inexplicably.

Made a Rob Roy, added some cherry juice to sweeten it a bit more.

Needs more cherry juice.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at August 16, 2023 07:56 PM (up/3i)

120 Aug. 16, 2023 / 12:40 PM
New Jersey power outage caused by falling fish
Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 07:49 PM (geLO

........

Sharknado!

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2023 07:56 PM (v0R5T)

121 Go on with this man with a can. OH MY!

Posted by: George Takei at August 16, 2023 07:57 PM (17s+e)

122 Sharknado!
---------
Thread winner.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 16, 2023 07:57 PM (krqg6)

123 McGonigal, 55, was formerly the FBI special agent in charge of the bureau's counterintelligence division from 2016 to 2018,

It was Truuuuuumps FBI!!! Indict!

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 16, 2023 07:57 PM (O1z4v)

124 Wait... wasn't Strokez counterintelligence?

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 16, 2023 07:58 PM (O1z4v)

125 All I can think of when I read hobby horse

https://tinyurl.com/23wcmwcx
Posted by: BruceWayne

Ride 'em, Cowgirl!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 16, 2023 07:58 PM (FVME7)

126 Hameneggers, every manjack and jill of them.
- s. hammity

Posted by: Eromero at August 16, 2023 07:58 PM (NxC5+)

127 Needs more cherry juice.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at August 16, 2023 07:56 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egZPeAyIOd4

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 16, 2023 07:58 PM (a3Q+t)

128 Who giving this Rivera guy a platform?

I figured Geraldo would be exhausted by now and not still passed around in the media like carton of cigarettes in the French Foreign Legion.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at August 16, 2023 07:58 PM (fY84s)

129 You are going to love to chug this man can. It has a wide mouth so you can chug deep.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 16, 2023 07:59 PM (O1z4v)

130 I'm trying to remember who the Gov of Arizona is and all I can remember is 'Abortion Mouse '.

Thanks Ace.

Posted by: Puddleglum at August 16, 2023 08:00 PM (WQSYb)

131 @84

>>well whoever they want. I presume China.

Most of the systems we have sent over are older and ones that the MIC wants to replace.

Besides, the Clinton's and Obama gave away our best tech outright to the Chinese, Russians and NORKS.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at August 16, 2023 08:00 PM (up/3i)

132

omg.

Today's "docket" at https://tinyurl.com/23shkwbv

Number Two Will Have You Somersaulting!!!
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 16, 2023 07:51 PM (Y20nq)

Censorship is good comrade.

Posted by: Montec at August 16, 2023 08:01 PM (gy9qi)

133 'Come on Trevor. Hold the can tighter. Act like you know what you're doing.'
-Bud commercial director

'but it's too cold! my hand hurts! May I run some warm water on it? It's throbbing.'
-Trevor Wolf male 'model'

Posted by: Eromero at August 16, 2023 08:03 PM (NxC5+)

134 'Come on Trevor. Hold the can tighter. Act like you know what you're doing.'
-Bud commercial director

'but it's too cold! my hand hurts! May I run some warm water on it? It's throbbing.'
-Trevor Wolf male 'model'

Posted by: Eromero
===

Trevor is a fag! You need a man with experience and here I am.

Posted by: Fred Garvin Male Prostitute at August 16, 2023 08:04 PM (17s+e)

135 South America is even more intriguing than it usually is right now. The Xuxa story sucks - she garners that she, as a thin, white blonde was not the best representative as the barber of seville. Oops, sorry. Barbie of Brazil. But in Argentina, the land of Gabriella Sabatini, seem about to elect their own Donald Trump in Javier Malei. Malei describes himself as a Rothbardian ancap, so maybe not everyone would consider him a serious person. But he does threaten to throw a boleadora at the administrative state, and good luck to him. He also has a Trump haircut pm; y worse.

Posted by: Oglebay at August 16, 2023 08:05 PM (ogTiX)

136 Budweiser has always counted on kids buying Bud because it is what Dad and Grandpa did. But multi-generation brand loyalty to anything is dying and A-B knows it. A-B has to keep Bud in the Top 5 in the US or the corporation is in extremely deep doo-doo. Checking the brand sales ranking at the start of July, one ranking has Bud at #6, and no light beers in the top 10. Bud Light is toast - light beer is not very popular now.

Posted by: Gref at August 16, 2023 08:05 PM (AMIL/)

137 Biden is taking the Texas law banning censoring conservatives to scotus. Because of course he is,

So many norms restored.

Posted by: Montec at August 16, 2023 08:07 PM (gy9qi)

138 Dondé esta el Cafeo?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 16, 2023 08:08 PM (a3Q+t)

139 A third Ecuadoran politician was killed recently too although the chyron here didn't go into details.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 16, 2023 08:09 PM (krqg6)

140 CAFE IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS

Posted by: Skip at August 16, 2023 08:09 PM (MOY79)

141 omg.
Today's "docket" at https://tinyurl.com/23shkwbv
Number Two Will Have You Somersaulting!!!
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 16, 2023 07:51 PM (Y20nq)
~~~~~

Screwed. Again.

Posted by: IrishEi at August 16, 2023 08:09 PM (3ImbR)

142 café open

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 16, 2023 08:10 PM (krqg6)

143 Apparently, this guy's house is fireproof (NYPost)

https://tinyurl.com/3jttrjr7

A single home on a block bordering the ocean in West Maui miraculously survived the wildfires that destroyed the resort city of Lahaina.

The two-story house appears unharmed with white walls and a red roof, standing in stark contrast with the nightmarish sight of the ashes and charred foundations that remain of the neighboring homes.

Posted by: DB - at August 16, 2023 08:10 PM (geLO8)

144 El Caféo has arrived. IOW, nood.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 16, 2023 08:10 PM (a3Q+t)

145 Falstaff with a shot o' Guinness init.

Posted by: Braenyard at August 16, 2023 08:10 PM (AbYHm)

146 Me gustan la chica de pipe carne... Es verdad.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at August 16, 2023 08:10 PM (17s+e)

147 Is Bud going to do 100 days of Great American Military Trannies?

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 16, 2023 07:56 PM (O1z4v)

I hope that their marketing dept. isn't surfing here.

Posted by: Reforger at August 16, 2023 08:10 PM (B705c)

148 They are completely out in the open with the prosecutorial double standard. Almost as if they want to provoke a reaction.

Posted by: steevy at August 16, 2023 08:11 PM (FQmDC)

149 Great googly-moogly! Now we have Karens crying about Bradley Cooper's performing arts Jewface? Oy, It won't be long before CGI and AI take over.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at August 16, 2023 08:12 PM (fY84s)

150 Just a little tidbit from one of our sooper dooper betters

Jonah "Sperm" Goldberg

...”I just also think that we are dealing with a time, where for a lot of people, there’s a lot of people cheering and self-congratulation about the rise of small donors a decade ago. And now small donors are actually one of the biggest problems for, well, democracy in the GOP. Because, um, large donors have a strategic view about moderation, who can win and who can’t. Small donors really are just venting their spleen with their credit card, and they lock candidates into positions that can hurt them in the general election.”…

asshoe

Posted by: REDACTED at August 16, 2023 08:12 PM (us2H3)

151 Hilarious. You've always-as long as I've been reading ASHQ-been very funny, Ace, but perhaps the short break aided your dark humor.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

My first thought after reading the post too, Fen. Lots of good, cruel zingers in this one!

"Transgender Influencer Jake Tapper"

That's the stuff, right there. 😄

Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at August 16, 2023 08:13 PM (kjOVp)

152 Budweiser should have opted for Dazzle camouflage since the entire brand is now a sinking ship.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at August 16, 2023 07:24 PM (guGkK)

US Naval dazzle cammo would be a fantastic marketing ploy.

Posted by: Kindltot at August 16, 2023 08:13 PM (xhaym)

153 I guess it's too much to hope for Chucky McG-man to be sentenced to a woodchipper.

"Budweiser: Cram more man into your can."
A man, a plan, a cram in the can, Obama.

"The irony of watching Rachel Maddow and Hillary Clinton scold people for spreading conspiracy theories about stolen elections"

That's butcher than the women's soccer team piling into a Subaru in a Target parking lot.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at August 16, 2023 08:24 PM (yY1gM)

154
Budweiser: Pound Us While on Your Stool!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at August 16, 2023 08:25 PM (5pZqO)

155 "Krystal Ball on the Maui wildfires: "I can't help but think, you know, if this happened to some part of the country that Joe Biden had more connection to, cared more about, there would be a totally different response from him.""

You mean like Ukraine?

Posted by: p-squared at August 16, 2023 08:56 PM (UxSB9)

156 "How much do you want to bet he's sentenced to "live with his own conscience"?"
You can mock and say he got off easy, but I bet his book deal will be half of what it would have been had he beaten the charges.

Posted by: Ben Sears at August 16, 2023 10:21 PM (WENz1)

157 Ace,
I switched to Modelo recently, as it has a nice smooth taste to the unsophisticated, but almost threw out my new beers. And the wife had just bought me a 12pack. Your post has a CBS news source saying Modelo is also owned by AB Inbev. My understanding is that Modelo US had to be sold off for anti-trust reasons, to Constellation Brands.

--From Wiki for AB Inbev (for what it's worth):

Grupo Modelo
In 2013 the company bought Grupo Modelo, Mexico's leading brewer and owner of the Corona brand. This transaction was valued at US$20.1 billion. To satisfy US anti-trust demands, Grupo Modelo sold its US business, including US brand rights and the Piedras Negras Brewery in Mexico, for approx. US$4.75 billion to Constellation Brands, a competitor of AB Inbev in some beverage sectors.

Back to the fridge I go.

Posted by: Firedwolf at August 16, 2023 11:12 PM (CaKGw)

158 The Lahaina “no regrets” Siren kerflufflle has now hit the mainstream and as you might expect, the commenters are not pleased. This is going to get very ugly. Be interesting to see how the alphabets are going to play this on the morrow.

Posted by: Chance99 at August 16, 2023 11:16 PM (HXNDP)

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