Claim: The Government Recovered an "Egg-Shaped" Alien Probe the Size of an SUV

Unrelated photo: the doctor gets aggro with me
as I reject the scheduled colonoscopy.
From my private collection.

Below, a reporter, Ross Coulthart, claims he has a source that says he witnessed the recovery of an "egg-shaped" non-human craft, "silverish-gray, seamless, no control surfaces or propulsion visible" during the 1980s, and that the government's assessment is that this is a "probe" to collect information about the earth, and also, to Steal Our Women. (I assume the latter.)

He also says the craft was stored at... Area 51.

The former intelligence official who testified to Congress a couple of weeks ago, David Grusch, recently told the BBC that the US has been studying the recovered alien technology and reverse-engineering it.

Um... like in Independence Day.

He warned that America's alleged top secret UFO portfolio opens 'a Pandora's Box for potential military weapons development-type reverse engineering activities.'
And, for the first time, Grusch's attorney in his active whistleblower complaint, Charles McCullough, also came forward to speak publicly on his client's allegations.
McCullough, the former Inspector General of the US Intelligence Community (ICIG) appointed by President Obama in 2011, told BBC radio that Congress needs more information on UFOs 'to properly oversee things going on in the executive branch.'
...

I dunno, does anyone else feel a twinge of doubt when these claims of alien visitation so closely resemble the UFO lore seen frequently in popular media?

Marik von Rennenkampff, an analyst with the U.S. Department of State's Bureau of International Security and non-proliferation, and an Obama administration appointee at the U.S. Department of Defense, says that there is a huge government scandal about to be revealed -- but it might be one of two scandals.

The first possibility is that the US government will be revealed to have hidden the proof of alien visitation and lied to the public about it for decades.

The second possibility -- which I know commenters have suggested before -- is that US military and intelligence officials are leaking a false story in order to run a psyops campaign on the population for unknown purposes.

The decades-long saga of unidentified flying objects (UFOs) is barreling headlong toward one of two stunning conclusions.
Either the U.S. government has mounted an extraordinary, decades-long coverup of UFO retrieval and reverse-engineering activities, or elements of the defense and intelligence establishment are engaging in a staggeringly brazen psychological disinformation campaign.
Either possibility would have profound implications for democracy, the role of government and perhaps also humanity's place in the cosmos.
For these reasons, it is imperative that Congress and federal law enforcement agencies devote significant resources to investigating a series of remarkable UFO-related developments.
Importantly, a third explanation for recent events -- that dozens of high-level, highly-cleared officials have come to believe enduring UFO myths, rumors and speculation as fact -- appears increasingly unlikely.
[T[he officials and lawmakers who have reviewed Grusch's classified evidence are taking his extraordinary allegations seriously.
The inspector general of the intelligence community deemed Grusch's allegations that UFO-related information was inappropriately concealed from Congress "credible and urgent." Senate Intelligence Vice Chairman Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) confirmed the inspector general's finding.
I. Charles McCullough, III, the intelligence community's first inspector general and now an attorney in private practice, represents Grusch and sat directly behind him during a July 26 congressional hearing. It is extremely unlikely that such a high-profile lawyer and former top federal official would represent anyone making the kinds of extraordinary claims that Grusch is without robust evidence.
When asked during the July 26 congressional hearing whether he believes that the U.S. government possesses UFOs, Grusch stated, "Absolutely, based on interviewing over 40 witnesses over four years."
Grusch continued, "I know the exact locations [of retrieved UFOs], and those locations were provided to the inspector general and...to the [congressional] intelligence committees." Critically, Grusch stated, "I actually had the people with the first-hand knowledge provide a protected disclosure to the inspector general."
It is unlikely that Grusch, speaking to Congress under oath, would perjure himself so brazenly over such specific, falsifiable facts, particularly with his high-profile attorney sitting directly behind him.
To that end, it is safe to assume that more than three dozen individuals did indeed tell Grusch of a decades-long UFO retrieval and reverse-engineering program, and that those with "first-hand knowledge" provided corroborating information to the intelligence community inspector general.

Yeah but... see, we've known that people have been claiming they saw UFOs and even recovered UFO craft for decades. These stories and claims are as old as the hills.

So yes, Grusch says "a bunch of people say they saw crashed UFOs." Well, yes, we've known about these claims and rumors since the sixties (or earlier).

What new evidence says that these age-old claims are actually true?

I can't help feel that the only "proof" we have that these stories are true is the disclosure that the government has an office investigating these claims... which we've also known since the sixties. Project Blue Book, anyone?

The fact that a government that has trillions of our dollars to spend and creative bureaucrats who can invent a hundred trillion ways to spend those trillions does not mean that a theory has any actual merit behind it.

This story follows the patterns of many "stories:" Something that isn't really a story is now a story because the media has decided to start treating it as a story.

Like the Summer of Shark Attacks just before 9/11.

Possible government/Regime psyop, you say?

Anyway:

Congress already has #UAP evidence says @MvonRen: 2 senior politicians, members of key oversight committees, either confirm there's 'first-hand' evidence from witnesses claiming to know of the 'program' or they admit 'intense' evidence that they are not yet authorised to reveal https://t.co/7aIlui2dZX
— Ross Coulthart (@rosscoulthart) August 6, 2023

At the hearings from a couple of years ago, the chief whistleblower, Grusch, said that the aliens may be "interdimensional."

He cites the holographic principle, an actual theory (which I think it well-proven) that anything in three dimensional space can be "projected" on to, and fully represented on, a two-dimensional surface that surrounds it. In other words, if you think about the entire universe, and then imagine a two-dimensional membrane around it, the three-dimensional universe can be projected on to that membrane and that membrane would contain all the information of the three dimensional world.

He doesn't explain how but he suggests our alien visitors may be using this principle to transit the universe at faster-than-light speed. He seems to be saying that sufficiently advanced aliens can project themselves on to this two dimensional membrane, then zip around that membrane unbound by normal lightspeed limits, and then pop back out into the three dimensional world where they like.

While the holographic principle is well-established (at least as a mathematical precept), that business about being able to freely convert yourself into a two dimensional being and zip around the skin of the universe is just a sci-fi speculation.

One of Trump's several terrible hires, General Milley, says that he won't "doubt" Grusch's testimony, but that he himself has seen no evidence of alien crashes.

Some UFO sightings by military personnel are "difficult to explain," said Gen. Mark A. Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, but the nation's top general insists he has seen no evidence to back up public allegations that the Pentagon has recovered extraterrestrial beings or has engaged in decades of cover-ups to hide the truth from the American public.
In an exclusive interview with The Washington Times, Gen. Milley acknowledged that some reports of what the government now calls unidentified aerial phenomena, or UAP, lack easy explanations despite serious, ongoing research inside the Pentagon and a growing belief that at least some of the craft could pose national security threats. He made the comments less than two weeks after former U.S. intelligence officer David Grusch told Congress under oath that he is aware of "a multidecade UAP crash retrieval and reverse-engineering program" and even suggested that the Pentagon has been secretly keeping extraterrestrial bodies in storage.
Gen. Milley didn't address the credibility of Mr. Grusch's testimony but made clear he has seen no evidence backing up the extraordinary claims.
"The guy was under oath. I'm sure that he was trying to say whatever he thought was true. ... I'm not going to doubt his testimony or anything like that," Gen. Milley told The Times during a wide-ranging interview in his Pentagon office on Friday. "I can tell you, though, that as the chairman, I have been briefed on several different occasions by the [Pentagon's] UAP office. And I have not seen anything that indicates to me about quote-unquote 'aliens' or that there's some sort of cover-up program. I just haven't seen it."

Posted by: Ace at 04:26 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 >>Claim: The Government Recovered an "Egg-Shaped" Alien Probe the Size of an SUV

Complete an utter horsh*t.

The big question is, what are they trying to distract us from?

Posted by: Thomas Bender at August 11, 2023 04:27 PM (up/3i)

2 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at August 11, 2023 04:27 PM (Zz0t1)

3 Independence Day?

Probably closer to Paul.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:27 PM (LvTSG)

4 We're grays, man. We're greys.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at August 11, 2023 04:27 PM (Zz0t1)

5 MARS. NEEDS. WOMEN.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at August 11, 2023 04:27 PM (2tUFv)

6 "Unrelated photo: the doctor gets aggro with me
as I reject the scheduled colonoscopy."

This tube shall pass

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at August 11, 2023 04:28 PM (z+89e)

7 An alien probe? Like an anal probe?

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at August 11, 2023 04:28 PM (QNSds)

8 >>>This tube shall pass

haha

>>>4 We're grays, man. We're greys.

nice, very topical

Posted by: ace at August 11, 2023 04:28 PM (KRtlO)

9 Sounds fishy to me.

Posted by: Mork at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (vFG9F)

10 Extraordinary claims demand explicit, uncompromising proof. Sworn testimony by some government dude isn’t enough.

Posted by: dhmosquito at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (el5SD)

11 The second possibility -- which I know commenters have suggested before -- is that US military and intelligence officials are leaking a false story in order to run a psyops campaign on the population for unknown purposes.

It knocks Hunter Bia Den out of the news cycle.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (nW4TA)

12 Like the Summer of Shark Attacks just before 9/11.

I've already thought about that.

I suspect that the Deep State has a Big Surprise planned for us for this fall.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (2tUFv)

13 NANU-NANU MOTHERFUCKER!

Posted by: Mork at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (TZ75n)

14 ROSWELL! ROSWELL!!

Posted by: Blaine Faulkner at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (/HDaX)

15 and mork from ork emerged. mindy was really beautiful back then. no wonder she got mark harmon

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (B1FKF)

16 Didn't Mork come to Earth in an egg?

Posted by: Mark1971 at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (xPl2J)

17 Claim: The Government Recovered an "Egg-Shaped" Alien Probe the Size of an SUV

Complete an utter horsh*t.

The big question is, what are they trying to distract us from?
Posted by: Thomas Bender

More Hlunter and Joe shit.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (nW4TA)

18 Is that what a shaved Ewok looks like?

Posted by: Mork at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (vFG9F)

19 "also, to Steal Our Women. "

ok, I got an idea, now hear me out....

Posted by: The Ol' Switcheroo at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (z+89e)

20 Aliens stole our jerbs!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (Wnv9h)

21
The Frisbee and the Hula Hoop?

You guessed it -- reverse engineered from space aliens' technology!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (pUqaF)

22 *sighs and rolls eyes*

No love for Bigfoot?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (JvZF+)

23 Notice that every time the Democrats are caught in another scandal, that either they indict Trump, or Aliens land. I sense a pattern here.

Posted by: An Observation sez China Joe not my president at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (CecP5)

24 MARS. NEEDS. WOMEN.

MARS. DOES. NOT. NEED. PEOPLE. MERELY. CLAIMING. TO. BE. WOMEN.

Posted by: Mars! at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (2tUFv)

25 Aliens only crash where our military can covertly recover them. They are considerate in that way.

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (MNhXM)

26 Must be time for a Trump indictment.

Posted by: fd at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (vFG9F)

27 One of Trump's many, many terrible picks, General Milley, says that he won't "doubt" Grusch's testimony, but that he himself has seen no evidence of alien crashes.

--

Even if Milley had, none could compare to the crash in his reputation.

Posted by: The_Hoser at August 11, 2023 04:30 PM (N66D6)

28
So, from this am I to take that-

Not only does Mars need women, but that -

Cromphlart 32 in the Glurgflap Galaxy also needs women?

Posted by: naturalfake at August 11, 2023 04:31 PM (QzZeQ)

29 NANU-NANU MOTHERFUCKER!
Posted by: Mork at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM

I didn't know they remade Mork and Mindy with Samuel L. Jackson.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at August 11, 2023 04:31 PM (Wnv9h)

30 Uh huh.

Next we'll hear how the aliens told us to move to the next level we have to get climate change under control and promote diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at August 11, 2023 04:31 PM (ppBhU)

31 i vote for "elements of the defense and intelligence establishment are engaging in a staggeringly brazen psychological disinformation campaign." just like biden got 81 million votes.

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:31 PM (B1FKF)

32 ounds fishy to me.
Posted by: Mork at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (vFG9F)

NANOO NANOO

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at August 11, 2023 04:31 PM (Dnobf)

33 @11

>>It knocks Hunter Bia Den out of the news cycle.

SOMBODY GET ME WELLES!!!

--
Junta Stage Managers Stray Volting Like A MoFo.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (up/3i)

34 These people are nuts or liars. I’m gonna go with liars…. I begin to grow weary and irritated with reports like this because the people bringing this stuff forward clearly think we’re incredibly gullible. I believe the part of X-files that depicted constant lying and nefarious action by the feds; the part about aliens was pure entertainment. Adam Schiff’s bulging eyeballs are our best evidence for alien life….

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (xT8gx)

35 An alien probe? Like an anal probe?
Posted by: Mister Scott

I just realized why 90% of the people are enthralled over aliens. IYKYK.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (nW4TA)

36 The decades-long saga of unidentified flying objects (UFOs) is barreling headlong toward one of two stunning conclusions.

First you have to explain why almost all UFO "sightings" take place in English-speaking countries.

Posted by: Mars! at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (2tUFv)

37 >>>the government's assessment is that this is a "probe"... to Steal Our Women.

First thought: why?

Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (m9hmt)

38 Good afternoon, horde! Friday, Friday afternoon!

Sponge, how's your dad? You probably said, but I haven't seen. Hope he is free of sepsis and recovering.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (OX9vb)

39 7 An alien probe? Like an anal probe?

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at August 11, 2023 04:28 PM (QNSds)

---

Just my size, honey!

Posted by: Lizzo at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (N66D6)

40 >Below, a reporter, Ross Coulthart, claims he has a source that says he witnessed the...

this is always the way
the 'whistleblower' says he talked to a guy who says he saw something

Call me skeptical (many do) but I need more than this
I need to see the gizmo-UFO-whatsit with my own eyes

Posted by: DB - it's all plusungood at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (geLO8)

41 >The big question is, what are they trying to distract us from?

Posted by: Thomas Bender at August 11, 2023 04:27 PM (up/3i)

What AREN'T they trying to distract us from?!

Posted by: Heavy Meta at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (Lh5tm)

42 David Grusch was spotted recently in a Ruth Chris making a mountain out of his garlic mash potatoes.

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 04:32 PM (MNhXM)

43 There IS a secret base for the Greys under Archuleta Mesa up by Dulce, NM. Everybody knows that.

Posted by: huerfano at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (7zEAH)

44 I wonder if there was a young boy inside, wrapped in a red blanket.

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (3vCGB)

45 We are the Third Rock from the Sun.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (TZ75n)

46 mars needs dylan mulvaney. they have really small brains and things.

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (B1FKF)

47 Bullshit.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (XMwZJ)

48 there are interviews online, recorded in the 1980s that are disturbing wrt Roswell incident.

A young nurse, particularly, was likely "disposed of" because she was present at the autopsy of the creatures.

Posted by: kallisto at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (dCxaZ)

49 I'm glad someone else remembers the "summer of shark attacks" that was the second biggest story of the century right before 9/11. Remember the other one? I can't wait for it: Chandra Levy.

Posted by: Mad Max in VA at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (hY3+6)

50 Hat trick?

Posted by: Notorious BFD at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (Xrfse)

51 Wait.... egg shaped????

Uh... Mork?

Posted by: Romeo13 at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (oHd/0)

52 SOMBODY GET ME WELLES!!!

--
Junta Stage Managers Stray Volting Like A MoFo.
Posted by: Thomas Bender

Dr. Evil: Release the aliens.

Frau Farbissina: RELEASE THE ALIENS!!!

Posted by: rickb223 at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (nW4TA)

53 Well of course they’re coming here if every alien gets $120,000.
A fella could have a pretty weekend in Vegas with that

Posted by: db at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (wu87C)

54 I dunno, does anyone else feel a twinge of doubt when these claims of alien visitation so closely resemble the UFO lore seen frequently in popular media?
-
Some would suggest that we've been conditioned by popular media to respond to non human entities with magical "technological" powers in very particular ways.

Posted by: Methos at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (Dnobf)

55 aliens just want to serve man. they can start with the bidens. yuck

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (B1FKF)

56 "The guy was under oath. I'm sure that he was trying to say whatever he thought was true. ... I'm not going to doubt his testimony or anything like that," Gen. Milley

Traitor Gen. Milley. Nothing he says should be
given any credence whatsoever.

Posted by: AK at work at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (o+IHV)

57 My theory.

I have worked in secure industries (both military and tech) and what happens is that there is a secret group in a remote building working on something and no one can talk about it. Rumors start and soon they are doing all kinds of crazy shit, and the rumors are confirmed by other people who have no direct evidence.

I think they start with groups analyzing *foreign* craft captured by US, which no one can talk about.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (4Ltu/)

58 10 Extraordinary claims demand explicit, uncompromising proof. Sworn testimony by some government dude isn’t enough.
Posted by: dhmosquito at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (el5SD)
________

Sworn testimony by some government dude amounts to counter evidence. No reason to believe him.

Posted by: Eeyore at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (brAQZ)

59 Dunno where I saw or read it, but it's true...
I used to be willing to suspend my disbelief about UFO's until the govt and midstream media went all in.
Now I know it's horse shit.

Posted by: MkY at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (cPGH3)

60 When they can't drop another Trump indictment to take over the news cycle...

Posted by: Zek at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (5FPX4)

61 >>In other words, if you think about the entire universe, and then imagine a two-dimensional membrane around it, the three-dimensional universe can be projected on to that membrane and that membrane would contain all the information of the three dimensional world.

Whoa....

Can I buy some pot from you?

Posted by: JackStraw at August 11, 2023 04:35 PM (ZLI7S)

62 see that wide-eyed guy in the vidcap up there? I think he's an alien

weird looking dude
probably full o' shite

Posted by: DB - it's all plusungood at August 11, 2023 04:35 PM (geLO8)

63 Did they recover this from Jonah Goldberg's fat, doughy cavity?

Posted by: Tex Lovera at August 11, 2023 04:35 PM (wtvvX)

64 Remember the other one? I can't wait for it: Chandra Levy.

Yeah, if a Congressman is accused of killing an intern this month, head for the bomb shelters.

Posted by: Mars! at August 11, 2023 04:35 PM (2tUFv)

65 this is a "probe" to collect information about the earth, and also, to Steal Our Women.

Well , they won't steal me, because I have a Special Hat.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at August 11, 2023 04:35 PM (OX9vb)

66 Bill Clinton couldn't keep a bj secret but I'm supposed to believe the government can keep ET secret?

I've got nothing.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 11, 2023 04:36 PM (ReJ0v)

67 43 There IS a secret base for the Greys under Archuleta Mesa up by Dulce, NM. Everybody knows that.
Posted by: huerfano at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM (7zEAH)

Is it just for the Greys or can anyone join? I'm not looking to sell out humanity or anything, it's kind of a sellers market. But, like, how much are we talking here?

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at August 11, 2023 04:36 PM (z+89e)

68 When do the UFO nuts begin showing very brief clips from the movie "Signs" as proof we have a number of captured aliens in confinement camps?

Posted by: Gref at August 11, 2023 04:36 PM (AMIL/)

69 What no one seems able to explain is, given that any alien visitors would have to possess technology significantly more advanced than ours, and would almost certainly want to have a secure command-and-control system for that technology and those piloting it, how exactly did these "captured spacecraft" go off-course and crash in the first place?

It's like the aliens were far more intelligent and sophisticated until they got to Earth, and then got really dumb all of a sudd....well, maybe that's more plausible than I thought.

Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 04:37 PM (m9hmt)

70 We are the Men in Crack

Posted by: Anderson Cooper and Don LeMon at August 11, 2023 04:37 PM (TZ75n)

71 Thunderf00t had a graphic of camera-resolution vs. UFO-photo-resolution from 1950 to present. One is a sharply increasing line over time, while the other is a flat horizontal line. You can guess which is which...

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at August 11, 2023 04:37 PM (XMwZJ)

72 Egg Shaped? Oh god, it's Mork.

Posted by: Drunken Yoda at August 11, 2023 04:37 PM (lBlv7)

73 We have tens of thousands of professional and amateur astronomers around the world that monitor the universe 24/7/365.

If there are alien craft in our solar system they would have been documented by more than just one person.

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 04:37 PM (MNhXM)

74 aliens: what? do we want to probe dr jill? taint happening

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (B1FKF)

75 >>> 12 Like the Summer of Shark Attacks just before 9/11.

I've already thought about that.

I suspect that the Deep State has a Big Surprise planned for us for this fall.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (2tUFv)

Coming from them it won't be a fun surprise; it will be more like something from otters.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (llON8)

76 Kinky anal probe

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo, food, water at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (xcxpd)

77 Hunter's in trouble again so either (1) indict Trump or (2) find aliens.

Posted by: PJ at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (G1dq6)

78 Oh FFS...Sure seems coninky dinky that the DoJ hamstrings the investigation of the Bai-den crime family and shields his chief inquisitor, and aliens and UAPs are back n the news cycle. These clowns...

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (YRsIm)

79 We're grays, man. We're greys.

omg lol

totally unrelated, but maybe not...

there's a woman named Jessica Pin who is advocating against labioplasty because she had one done when she was really young and they, you guessed it - butchered her.

anyway in the course of her advocacy she came across actual pics of the vulvas created for men who are wannabe girls...and she totally dissed that ugly mess of a coochie.

So she got in trouble with the "T"s. But here's where the aliens come in...when I saw the pic of the manufactured cooch, the counterfeit snatch, if you will...I thought: "That looks like it belongs to an alien creature!" And since the pic had a greyish cast to it, I further deduced that it belonged to a Grey. So yes, Virginia, if you are a man who got a pretend vulva made, you can now go looking out in space for your boyfriend because girl your coochie look just like an alien hoohah now.

Posted by: kallisto at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (dCxaZ)

80 >55 aliens just want to serve man. they can start with the bidens. yuck

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:34 PM (B1FKF)

I'd open with an offer of an 'all you can eat buffet' beginning with Lizzo. That should keep the little grey bastards busy for a year or two

Posted by: Heavy Meta at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (Lh5tm)

81 and LOL at Ace's picture caption

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo, food, water at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (xcxpd)

82 There are no space aliens.

There are experimental NSA/DoD/CIA weapons and drones though.

And as in the 70s/80s we know the NSA/DoD/CIA intentionally encourage the "it must be aliens" argument to keep their gear secret.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (lc5cP)

83 "...or elements of the defense and intelligence establishment are engaging in a staggeringly brazen psychological disinformation campaign."

Yeah, this, but not really. It's not psychology campaign when it's absurd and a tiny population actually believes in aliens. No, the scandal - or disinformation - is that it's almost assuredly a dumpster of federal cash for special projects disguised as legitimate business purposes.

Oh, we can't get funding for Project X? Well what if we put the request for funding into "National Security R&D for Extraterrestrial Transit"? I got to finance my last car outta that last request.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (aXxgO)

84 > He seems to be saying that sufficiently advanced aliens can project themselves on to this two dimensional membrane, then zip around that membrane unbound by normal lightspeed limits, and then pop back out into the three dimensional world where they like.

I've thought this paragraph through a few times and now my brain hurts. So you'd have to project yourself onto a pre-existing membrane, or one you created, then move as a 2D thing that is now you, then de-project from 2D to 3D in a different location, while still somehow maintaining all that is you.

Brain hurt.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (0N1h0)

85 I guess they are still trying to make us believe that Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull was actually a good premise.

Fail.

Posted by: bluebell at August 11, 2023 04:39 PM (pTb/Z)

86 Bankman Fried has his bond revoked. CNBC story - so take it for what it is worth.

Posted by: An Observation sez China Joe not my president at August 11, 2023 04:39 PM (CecP5)

87 Wait.... egg shaped????

Uh... Mork?

It's one of the stupid chairs from Men in Black.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 11, 2023 04:39 PM (0N1h0)

88 according to the opening of "plan nine from outer space" the movie was based on the sworn testimony of those who were there.

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:39 PM (B1FKF)

89 1 >>Claim: The Government Recovered an "Egg-Shaped" Alien Probe the Size of an SUV

Complete an utter horsh*t.

The big question is, what are they trying to distract us from?
Posted by: Thomas Bender

Yep, pretty much a distraction.

Posted by: Puddleglum at August 11, 2023 04:39 PM (sAmhv)

90 >>It's like the aliens were far more intelligent and sophisticated until they got to Earth, and then got really dumb all of a sudd....well, maybe that's more plausible than I thought.

If you could send pilots all over the universe would you send the smart ones here to do anal probes?

We got the ones who graduated at the bottom of the alien space academy. We got the McCains.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (ZLI7S)

91 Love that first photo and your caption, Ace. Although I confess your forehead is bigger than I imagined it to be.

Posted by: bluebell at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (pTb/Z)

92 Yes, it's amazing in this high tech era, with smartphones in peoples' hands all over the world 24/7, that the best UFO footage we can get is some grainy lo-res B&W

Posted by: DB - it's all plusungood at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (geLO8)

93
Abducted and anally probed by an alien named 'Barack'

Posted by: Sphynx at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (P6qMv)

94 Look, it's certainly possible that aliens landed on Earth. However, of all the stars that have all those planets, an alien would need to know - from a huge distance - that there is life from this one planet here.

Radio waves are, what, 100 years old? So, the earliest signals would be about 100 light years away, with really weak strength. So, an alien civilization 100 light years away would have had to power here - in a faster-than-light vehicle - starting then to be here sometime in the last 50 years.

Then they get here and have to avoid the 70% of the Erf that is water and get to the tiny percentage of land that is the USA. Not anywhere else, but the USA. Like if it landed somewhere else, we would have heard it from them already. Oh, and a civilization that advanced hasn't made their presence known to us yet, instead of crashing?

Like I said, open to the idea, but the chances are zero point zero zero that we've had an encounter with them.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (/iWhV)

95 Supposedly Bankman Fried remanded to jail - same story.

Posted by: An Observation sez China Joe not my president at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (CecP5)

96 How badly is the narrative going that they try "egg-shaped alien spacecraft"?

Posted by: t-bird at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (08CnU)

97 There IS a secret base for the Greys under Archuleta Mesa up by Dulce, NM. Everybody knows that.

Posted by: huerfano at August 11, 2023 04:33 PM

https://tinyurl.com/4n9w28xa

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (QNSds)

98 Actually if Gen. "Throughly Modern" Milley is denying rumors of aliens, I'm even more convinced.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo, food, water at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (xcxpd)

99 79 - That is exactly the kind of fact/commentary I can get nowhere but here!

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (xT8gx)

100 In other words, if you think about the entire universe, and then imagine a two-dimensional membrane around it, the three-dimensional universe can be projected on to that membrane and that membrane would contain all the information of the three dimensional world.

He doesn't explain how but he suggests our alien visitors may be using this principle to transit the universe at faster-than-light speed.

I mean, sure, that's possible. But why are you slighting the lizard people and their advanced lizard technology?

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 04:40 PM (eOEVl)

101 If I do want to get conspiratorial though there is one possible "aliens are real" theory I could give credence to.

Namely that people in our government have made contact not with extra-terrestrials, but extra-dimensional beings. Like the things people high on DMT claim to have met

And their dimension is...kind of hot.

Yes this is basically the plot from That Hideous Strength.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (lc5cP)

102 The reality must truly suck if they are trying on this more than unicorn impossible shit.

Posted by: Indignacio Vindacatorem at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (ebrc7)

103 About half the time, we're the fourth rock from the sun.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (LvTSG)

104 >>> 69 What no one seems able to explain is, given that any alien visitors would have to possess technology significantly more advanced than ours, and would almost certainly want to have a secure command-and-control system for that technology and those piloting it, how exactly did these "captured spacecraft" go off-course and crash in the first place?

It's like the aliens were far more intelligent and sophisticated until they got to Earth, and then got really dumb all of a sudd....well, maybe that's more plausible than I thought.
Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 04:37 PM (m9hmt)

It's the alien moonshiners taking back roads to evade the alien revenooers.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (llON8)

105 re 80: come on, they're supposed to be intelligent life forms, not gluttons for punishment.

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (B1FKF)

106 One of Trump's many, many terrible picks, General Milley

Okay, it was a terrible pick. Not sure why this dead horse needs to be flogged in nearly every thread.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (Xrfse)

107 I dunno, does anyone else feel a twinge of doubt when these claims of alien visitation so closely resemble the UFO lore seen frequently in popular media?
----

If the government came out and said they had proof my brother was actually an alien who was sent here to destroy Our Democracy and make my life miserable, (a scenario I had , heretofore, believed all too plausible) I would completely doubt his cover story that he and my parents flew here on a spaceship and I was the adopted one.

Posted by: Just Lily at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (RLLZj)

108 There's a rumor going round that Gen. Miller sold all of our alien artifacts to China after -

the Chinese allowed him to spend an hour naked and strapped spread-eagle on a bed in the Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong as-

superstar Jackie Chan threw hardboiled eggs at Milley's bunghole.

It's only a rumor though.

Posted by: naturalfake at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (QzZeQ)

109 We have tens of thousands of professional and amateur astronomers around the world that monitor the universe 24/7/365.

If there are alien craft in our solar system they would have been documented by more than just one person.
Posted by: polynikes

Yeah. Good argument.
I've seen 3 large male bobcats on my property in 15 years.
Game cam sightings? 0.
I've caught 3 red fox in my traps.
Game cam sightings?
0.

Posted by: MkY at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (cPGH3)

110 The only way any extra-solar vehicle could visit us is if they operate on a completely different set of physics than what we can observe, and that bypass all physical laws as well. All that "holographic" mathemagic BS notwithstanding, nothing with a mass greater than a proton can travel faster than the speed of light, or even approach it. It requires an infinite amount of energy to accelerate anything with mass to the speed of light. Which also means that all of that energy is used to maintain your acceleration, with nothing left over for anything else, like life support, or some sort of energy shielding needed to prevent the first hydrogen atom that impacts your ship in the interstellar void from destroying it at that speed. Then lets talk about the enormous amount of radiation that is generated by that ship which would proceed it, including highly charged gamma particles which would basically sterilize everything in front of it. We'd see it coming, and then die very shortly thereafter.

cont.

Posted by: goozer at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (zyV51)

111 cont.

Of course, this presumes that there is actual, intelligent life out there. Which, if there were, would be another miracle if it were anything remotely approaching what we can observe as "life." And it would take another miracle that we would even be able to observe them, let alone understand what we were seeing.

Posted by: goozer at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (zyV51)

112 >>Is it just for the Greys or can anyone join? I'm not looking to sell out humanity or anything, it's kind of a sellers market. But, like, how much are we talking here?

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at August 11, 2023 04:36

I think they are in league with the Jicarilla Apache nation. Probably have to be a tribe member.

Posted by: huerfano at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (7zEAH)

113 "Egg-Shaped" Alien Probe the Size of an SUV-nado!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (FVME7)

114 82 There are no space aliens.

There are experimental NSA/DoD/CIA weapons and drones though.

And as in the 70s/80s we know the NSA/DoD/CIA intentionally encourage the "it must be aliens" argument to keep their gear secret.
Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM

That's what I think those navy pilots saw. New aircraft. I asked my FIL if he ever saw anything when he was flying and he said no. He wouldn't speculate what the other Naval Aviators were seeing either. He isn't any fun.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (ReJ0v)

115 Pam Dawber was a 1. Dunno if still.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (TZ75n)

116 The trisolarans are forever loitering in the Lagrange points of our collective consciousness.

Posted by: Oglebay at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (ogTiX)

117 I'd open with an offer of an 'all you can eat buffet' beginning with Lizzo. That should keep the little grey bastards busy for a year or two
Posted by: Heavy Meta at August 11, 2023 04:38 PM (Lh5tm)

From the moment the aliens breathed our air, drank our water, ate our Lizzo, they were doomed....

Posted by: Morgan Freeman Voiceover at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (m9hmt)

118 *sigh*

Miller = Milley

Thx AC. joke spoiled.

*kicks stone*

Posted by: naturalfake at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (QzZeQ)

119 Never mind! Turns out it was an ostrich egg.

Posted by: Top Secret Gov't Experts at August 11, 2023 04:42 PM (bt2PN)

120 So then we cant be the only country who has these right? So we better do something with it pronto before other country's are just sailing hither and yon at the speed of light.

Posted by: Joey Sausage - if mean tweets are wrong then I don't want to be right at August 11, 2023 04:43 PM (eheVn)

121 The Chinese prefer human organs to alien organs. Alien specs are all wrong, threads are left-handed or right-handed at random, nuts are neither standard nor metric.

Posted by: Eromero at August 11, 2023 04:43 PM (z3WCn)

122 I was told there'd a gay nude alien!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 11, 2023 04:43 PM (FVME7)

123 > What no one seems able to explain is, given that any alien visitors would have to possess technology significantly more advanced than ours, and would almost certainly want to have a secure command-and-control system for that technology and those piloting it, how exactly did these "captured spacecraft" go off-course and crash in the first place?

I like the Cuban raft explanation. We're seeing refugees who are slapping together anything that'll float (fly) to GTFO their crappy world and come to a better place. They crash here because their craft is barely space-worthy.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 11, 2023 04:44 PM (0N1h0)

124 Utterly precious that Mr. Grusch's testimony should be taken for 'truth' because he was under oath. If I have learned anything in my 29 years it would be that it means absolutely nothing to appear and or testify under oath in either the House or Senate. Specially when your truth telling is covered in state approved context.

Posted by: Usedtocould at August 11, 2023 04:44 PM (LRa30)

125 Namely that people in our government have made contact not with extra-terrestrials, but extra-dimensional beings. Like the things people high on DMT claim to have met

And their dimension is...kind of hot.

Yes this is basically the plot from That Hideous Strength.
Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (lc5cP)

------

And Childhood's End

Posted by: Just Lily at August 11, 2023 04:44 PM (RLLZj)

126 20 years ago I would be very interested in this.

Today? I just assume I'm being distracted by something that actually matters.

Posted by: Shenanigans at August 11, 2023 04:44 PM (lcyZw)

127 Lizzo was just dropped from Superbowl halftime consideration

-
I don't think you can drop Lizzo without filing an environmental impact statement.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 11, 2023 04:44 PM (FVME7)

128 I have opined on here before that the days when attention seekers declared they had seen a UFO or been abducted by aliens were a healthier alternative to the new 'I am transgendered' movement.

BUT, I don't see the child mutilation movement ending now even if UFO, alien abductions become a thing again.

As far as actual alien theory goes? If there is an advanced alien race they have been damned sloppy with the self destruct etc to keep a less advanced race from getting a jump on technology before they can handle it if "the U.S. government has mounted an extraordinary, decades-long coverup of UFO retrieval and reverse-engineering activities," Unless of course the UFO retrievals were crafts launched by the USSR etc. and other UFO stories were smoke screens for U.S. tech advances.

Posted by: PaleRider at August 11, 2023 04:44 PM (3cGpq)

129 >>I like the Cuban raft explanation. We're seeing refugees who are slapping together anything that'll float (fly) to GTFO their crappy world and come to a better place. They crash here because their craft is barely space-worthy.

That can't be right. Biden sets all illegal aliens free.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 11, 2023 04:45 PM (ZLI7S)

130 Ace, whose side are you on here? US, OR THE SHARKS?!

Everyone knows 9/11 was an op to divert attention from the sharks after the media caught on to them.

Are the sharks aliens? Perhaps. But they're certainly controlling the government and seeking to rob us all of our precious bodily fluids, in any event. Especially blood.

OPEN YOUR EYES, BRUH.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at August 11, 2023 04:45 PM (0FoWg)

131
They're here because 'Earth Girls are Easy'

Posted by: Sphynx at August 11, 2023 04:45 PM (P6qMv)

132 >>> 101 If I do want to get conspiratorial though there is one possible "aliens are real" theory I could give credence to.

Namely that people in our government have made contact not with extra-terrestrials, but extra-dimensional beings. Like the things people high on DMT claim to have met

And their dimension is...kind of hot.

Yes this is basically the plot from That Hideous Strength.
Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (lc5cP)

That could explain the wildly different forms reported in various accounts (not just little grey or green men), amongst other things.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 04:45 PM (llON8)

133 Willowing myself…

Re big dig $15b over budget.

The Albanian, Russian and Turkish minsters of transportation are chatting and bragging about how they steal from their country.

Turkish guy takes them to Turkey and says see that 4 lane highway, that was supposed to be a six lane highway. I kept the extra money. Russian guy says meh, come to my country, let me show you how it’s done. He shows them a 2 lane decrepit road and says that was supposed to be an 8 lane expressway. Turkish guy is wowed, Albanian shrugs. He says boys come to Albania and see how it’s done. He says you see that 20 mile long expressway? Russian guy says, what expressway, I just see a valley. Albanian guy smiles and says, exactly.

Posted by: Montec at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (J08XQ)

134 >124 Utterly precious that Mr. Grusch's testimony should be taken for 'truth' because he was under oath. If I have learned anything in my 29 years it would be that it means absolutely nothing to appear and or testify under oath in either the House or Senate. Specially when your truth telling is covered in state approved context.

Posted by: Usedtocould at August 11, 2023 04:44 PM (LRa30)

This man knows what time it is.

Posted by: Merrick Garland at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (Lh5tm)

135 "...these claims of alien visitation so closely resemble the UFO lore seen frequently in popular media?"

The writers ARE on strike, you know.

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (Rbu5d)

136 I have filed an official whistleblower complaint to Congress entitled "Aliens!!!" and I believe it should occupy the news cycle for days, if not weeks.

Posted by: Merrick Garland at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (1xTL3)

137 #1 any actual "aliens" seen are are demons or Nephilim.
#2 all other reports are government manipulations and distractions.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (4+ckB)

138 He seems to be saying that sufficiently advanced aliens can project themselves on to this two dimensional membrane, then zip around that membrane unbound by normal lightspeed limits, and then pop back out into the three dimensional world where they like.

And then crash on Earth, due to incompetence.

Posted by: Mars! at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (2tUFv)

139 There's a reason they're telling us this lie, but it's a new one. It'll take a while to figure out.

Posted by: t-bird at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (bt2PN)

140 All's I know is I am voting for Kodos.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Missing the Point at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (xPJvm)

141 Time for Svengoolie to rerun the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

Posted by: bluebell at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (pTb/Z)

142 127 Lizzo was just dropped from Superbowl halftime consideration

-
I don't think you can drop Lizzo without filing an environmental impact statement.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 11, 2023 04:44 PM (FVME7)

We have an exclusive contract

Posted by: Goodyear at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (z+89e)

143 "the US has been studying the recovered alien technology and reverse-engineering it."

So what new technology has just appeared out of nowhere, without decades of incremental advances and research? I mean, the paper trail for every technology we use today goes back centuries.

Either alien tech is so far advanced we can't begin to understand it, or it looks just like ours.

Posted by: Bacon Jeff at August 11, 2023 04:47 PM (VGRuw)

144 re 115: maybe on a scale of zero to one. heathen. you probably thought megan mccain was hot.

Posted by: gnats local 678 at August 11, 2023 04:47 PM (B1FKF)

145 Finally, a kernel of truth from Milley. First time for everything.

Posted by: Earl Schlobodowicz at August 11, 2023 04:47 PM (P7Iz+)

146 I found a short story on Reddit the other day, about aliens arriving on Earth and saying they'd come to share their technology with us. One of their wonders was a drug made from their DNA that cured cancer and other diseases, and of course people started popping it like Tic Tacs. Anyhow, it turned out the aliens had made contact as part of a devious colonization scheme, and that eventually their DNA in the drug took over and transformed all the humans into aliens.

Point is, it reinforces my opinion that if there are aliens out there, and they do make contact with us, it will only be because they *want* to do so. And we should probably hope that they don't.

Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 04:47 PM (m9hmt)

147 see that wide-eyed guy in the vidcap up there? I think he's an alien

Trust me, he's human.

Posted by: Lori Lightfoot at August 11, 2023 04:47 PM (bt2PN)

148 Keep watching the skies!

Posted by: db at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (wu87C)

149 Is it an ever-expanding probe?

Posted by: Stuff Chris Plante sez at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (NBVIP)

150 Is Grusch up for "best actor" this year?

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (Rbu5d)

151 "He seems to be saying that sufficiently advanced aliens can project themselves on to this two dimensional membrane, then zip around that membrane unbound by normal lightspeed limits, and then pop back out into the three dimensional world where they like."

That's going to take a lot of spice. Not that weak ass Arrakis stuff. No, this takes Hunteresque Premium Cut Coke.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (aXxgO)

152 Let's talk about this, rather than the documented fact that biden took millions in bribe money in return for selling our nation down the river.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (lTGtQ)

153 He cites the holographic principle, an actual theory (which I think it well-proven) that anything in three dimensional space can be "projected" on to, and fully represented on, a two-dimensional surface that surrounds it.
-
Is it?

I remember projection from my college days, but it's basically like shining a light behind your 3 dimensional object and looking at the shadow it casts.

We used to be wowed by 'holograms' where we used lasers to etch an image in some kind of metal, with the result that the image would appear to rotate as you moved around it, or could cut the metal in pieces (often foil on comic book covers, that sort of thing) and still see all of the image, given enough movement.

But the foil is really 3 dimensional, just really thin.

So one thing they could be talking about is a 4th or 5th dimensional being casting a 3d shadiw we can see. But "interdimensional" is something else, a parallel 3d universe they claim to be popping into ours from (maybe a range of such things, but the beings themselves would still be 3d).

I still think it's rebelling angels whichever of those it appears to be.

Posted by: Methos at August 11, 2023 04:49 PM (Dnobf)

154 Does anyone else get the feeling Ace likes to post these kind of silly topics at the end of a hard-fought week, so as to avoid everyone being mad over the weekend? It's a good strategy.

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 04:49 PM (eOEVl)

155 We want Na'vi! Accept no substitutes!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 11, 2023 04:49 PM (FVME7)

156 13 NANU-NANU MOTHERFUCKER!
Posted by: Mork

Still laughing

Posted by: nurse ratched, otter 841 superfan! at August 11, 2023 04:49 PM (dKg40)

157 10 Extraordinary claims demand explicit, uncompromising proof. Sworn testimony by some government dude isn’t enough.
Posted by: dhmosquito at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (el5SD)

And in these days of 'deep fakes,' televised show'n'tell won't be proof.

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (Rbu5d)

158 99 79 - That is exactly the kind of fact/commentary I can get nowhere but here!

we Hordians are, umm..."special"

Posted by: kallisto at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (dCxaZ)

159 The second possibility -- which I know commenters have suggested before -- is that US military and intelligence officials are leaking a false story in order to run a psyops campaign on the population for unknown purposes.

It knocks Hunter Bia Den out of the news cycle.
Posted by: rickb223 at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM (nW4TA)

True. But I also think there's another reason: Replacing God for a highly advanced unknown entity that is very troubled about our total disrespect of our climate and environment.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (BdMk6)

160 Keep watching the skies!
Posted by: db at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (wu87C)

----------------

So you don't see how we are stealing another election.

Posted by: President Select Decaf at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (3JfbU)

161 The novel Illegal Aliens has a group of sociopathic criminal aliens visit earth and challenge us to "prove" our worthiness to join the Galactic Republic (or whatever it was called.)

The aliens shanghaied a NYC street gang, who proceed to kick the aliens' asses (if they have asses, which is not established).

Meanwhile, a group of UN First Contact specialists are attempting to negotiate with the aliens. Much hilarity ensues.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (YIVH2)

162 I've never seen a flying saucer, ghost, bigfoot, chupacabra, nothing. I'd settle for a fairy, or maybe a gnome or something, but without some visual evidence, I don't believe any of it.

Posted by: fd at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (vFG9F)

163 Hector and his girlfriend Maria, who snuck across the border last week, were carrying odd looking flip cell phones made in Brazil. So...alien technology.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (hv9bm)

164 Alien invasion. Keep watching the skies!!

Gov. Greg Abbott @GovAbbott
Texas has bused over 15,900 migrants to sanctuary cities.

⁃ Over 8,900 to DC
⁃ Over 4,900 to NYC
⁃ Over 1,500 to Chicago
⁃ Over 630 to Philadelphia

We’re providing relief to local communities overwhelmed by President Biden’s open border policies.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (krqg6)

165 "the US has been studying the recovered alien technology and reverse-engineering it."

It's how we invented the Magic 8-Ball.

Posted by: t-bird at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (bt2PN)

166 Just remember "Klaatu barada nikto"...

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (jq39B)

167 If aliens existed and had the technology to get here in less than 30 human lifetimes, and had already visited, they would have exterminated the humans, if not every species on the planet first thing.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (lTGtQ)

168 He seems to be saying that sufficiently advanced aliens can project themselves on to this two dimensional membrane, then zip around that membrane unbound by normal lightspeed limits, and then pop back out into the three dimensional world where they like.

And then crash on Earth, due to incompetence.

Have you ever considered that Earth is on the path of the Intergalactic Driving School?

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (eOEVl)

169 Anyone remember Riley from the Howard Stern show?

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (MNhXM)

170 >>>The novel Illegal Aliens has a group of sociopathic criminal aliens visit earth and challenge us to "prove" our worthiness to join the Galactic Republic (or whatever it was called.)

Uh...how about "no"?

Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (m9hmt)

171 Lucy in the sky with diamonds....

Posted by: runner at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (EHNgd)

172 I have appointed a Special Counsel to investigate District 9

Posted by: Merrick Garland at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (rFYYy)

173 Wormholes in physics are real things (apparently) that would theoretically allow faster-than-light travel… but probably only by elementary particles. Living beings…. Almost certainly not.

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (xT8gx)

174 Posted by: fd at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (vFG9F)

Mothman is real tho

Posted by: kallisto at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (dCxaZ)

175 >>> 164 Alien invasion. Keep watching the skies!!

Gov. Greg Abbott @GovAbbott
Texas has bused over 15,900 migrants to sanctuary cities.

⁃ Over 8,900 to DC
⁃ Over 4,900 to NYC
⁃ Over 1,500 to Chicago
⁃ Over 630 to Philadelphia

We’re providing relief to local communities overwhelmed by President Biden’s open border policies.
Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (krqg6)

I'm waiting for the Eff.Bee.EYE to arrest DeSantis and / or Abbott, or try to...

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (llON8)

176 29 NANU-NANU MOTHERFUCKER!
Posted by: Mork at August 11, 2023 04:29 PM

I didn't know they remade Mork and Mindy with Samuel L. Jackson.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at August 11, 2023 04:31 PM (Wnv9h)

EVERYTHING is race- and sex-swapped in Hollywood these days.

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (Rbu5d)

177 an "Egg-Shaped" Alien Probe the Size of an SUV
---

Wow, that's big enough to probe Uranus.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (+J9jQ)

178 So, an advanced race can make a spaceship that can travel thousands of light years across the cosmos.

And then it gets to earth and... crashes.

M-kay.

Posted by: kaf at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (PT5l/)

179 168 Have you ever considered that Earth is on the path of the Intergalactic Driving School?
Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (eOEVl)

========

Mars is *right there*!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (LvTSG)

180 149 Is it an ever-expanding probe?
Posted by: Stuff Chris Plante sez at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (NBVIP)

OMG!! I love love LOVE ever expanding probes!

Posted by: David French at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (GhdPM)

181 Why didn't I think of "Aliens"?!

Posted by: QAnon at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (rFYYy)

182 Yeah, what amazing technology did we get? Social media and chopped-up buttpussies for eight year olds?

What a gyp. Never do business with sharks or aliens. If there's any difference. Which there isn't.

Posted by: Cigarette Smoking Man at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (0FoWg)

183 Citizens of Earth...prepare your bungholes for probing for our time is at hand!

Posted by: The Herald of the Perv-On invasion at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (lc5cP)

184 I'm waiting for some computer generated A1 where Jesus and Moses and Mohammed 'appear in the clouds and ask us to work together to decrease global warming because this is what God would want.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (TauWN)

185 >>Does anyone else get the feeling Ace likes to post these kind of silly topics at the end of a hard-fought week, so as to avoid everyone being mad over the weekend? It's a good strategy.

I just got invited to spend 5 glorious days on Block Island with my besties where I can forget all this madness for a while and drink copious amounts of rum.

Nothing is making me mad today.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (ZLI7S)

186 Sure.. The out of spacers came here looked around and so No thanks!

Posted by: It's me donna at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (bs+z0)

187 175 I'm waiting for the Eff.Bee.EYE to arrest DeSantis and / or Abbott, or try to...
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (llON

========

House Democrats are trying to open up investigations into DeSantis' antidemocratic tyranny.

Nothing about the tyranny of almost every other governor closing down during covid, because being a tyrant in the name of covid was a moral good, I guess.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (LvTSG)

188 >>> 180 149 Is it an ever-expanding probe?
Posted by: Stuff Chris Plante sez at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (NBVIP)

OMG!! I love love LOVE ever expanding probes!
Posted by: David French at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (GhdPM)

Move over, bitch!!

Posted by: Shep! at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (llON8)

189 "...these claims of alien visitation so closely resemble the UFO lore seen frequently in popular media?"

I for one am sick to death of flying saucers. That's why I liked the Borg. Big Fu*kin' Cubes. Now we're talkin'!

Posted by: Diogenes at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (hv9bm)

190 I'm waiting for the Eff.Bee.EYE to arrest DeSantis and / or Abbott, or try to...

So are we.

Posted by: Texas Rangers at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (eOEVl)

191 115 Pam Dawber was a 1. Dunno if still.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory

I thought she was pretty hot. Of course, I was 8 years old, so...

Posted by: Mad Max in VA at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (hY3+6)

192 I don't remember this pivot to UFOs during the Trump admin. I'm too lazy to go back and check if past panics coincided with Democrats in trouble and needing a distraction.

As is often said here at the HQ, pictures or it didn't happen.

Posted by: President Select Decaf at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (3JfbU)

193 185 Nothing is making me mad today.
Posted by: JackStraw at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (ZLI7S)

========

I will make you admit that Rhode Island doesn't exist, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (LvTSG)

194 Years ago I might have believed this. Today I think they are using it to get more funding to "study" the phenomenon.

Posted by: ryukyu at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (hR0kJ)

195
Wow, that's big enough to probe Uranus.
Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (+J9jQ)

Come to papa!!

Posted by: David French at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (GhdPM)

196 Either alien tech is so far advanced we can't begin to understand it, or it looks just like ours.

It is physically impossible for "alien life" to reach Earth given the vastness of space (never mind all of the theological reasons why not)

The amount of energy required to speed up and brake any ship, even with matter/anti-matter 100% conversion doesn't make it possible. Travelling at c/10 would require shell hardening to absorb bomb-blasts worth of energy when hitting grain of sand sized objects in the path.

One would have to jack with time - something that belongs to God alone. This is a psy-op, probably leading to some policy where us stupid humans should take the advice of space aliens in how to live sustainably.

The space aliens only speak to the anointed elites, and their recommendations looks strangely like a cross between communism and democide.

Posted by: Reuben Hick at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (p8A+W)

197 Anyway, it's like this:
Can you talk to an ant?
Can the ant comprehend even a spoon?

We are ants walking on a spoon.

That is what any actual discovery of actual aliens capable of traveling between the stars would be like; the degree they would be so far advanced from us.
We wouldn't even know what we are looking at.

So it's so very, very stupid and silly that every alien story somehow all have easily understood and described entities and objects.
Dumb.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (4+ckB)

198 Alien invasion. Keep watching the skies!!

Gov. Greg Abbott @GovAbbott
Texas has bused over 15,900 migrants to sanctuary cities.

⁃ Over 8,900 to DC
⁃ Over 4,900 to NYC
⁃ Over 1,500 to Chicago
⁃ Over 630 to Philadelphia

We’re providing relief to local communities overwhelmed by President Biden’s open border policies.
Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 11, 2023 04:50 PM (krqg6

I thought Mayor McCheese said they have received 100,000 immigrants. Where are the other 95k coming from?

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (MNhXM)

199 Wormholes were the close-to-reality scientific basis for Carl Sagan’s Contact. But he really stretched the possible in that work of fiction (really stretched)

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (xT8gx)

200 The novel Illegal Aliens has a group of sociopathic criminal aliens visit earth and challenge us to "prove" our worthiness to join the Galactic Republic (or whatever it was called.)

Uh...how about "no"?
Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (m9hmt)
---
Humans, being the crafty bastards that we are, manage to steal the aliens' technology and launch ourselves out into the stars, pursued by the Great Golden Ones, who are the interstellar police force. Again, humans are wily bastards who manage to impose our own terms on joining the galactic community while humiliating the Great Golden Ones.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (YIVH2)

201 I can now announce that I am an alien, from outer space. Or, as we like to say in federal law enforcement, "one of them".

Posted by: Ray Epps at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (rFYYy)

202
Have you ever considered that Earth is on the path of the Intergalactic Driving School?
Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (eOEVl)

----

The Hyperspace Causeways are an absolute disgrace this far out from the Galactic Core.

Think road to Timbuktu from behind the wheel of a Lamborghini.

Posted by: Just Lily at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (RLLZj)

203 >88 >>> 180 149 Is it an ever-expanding probe?
Posted by: Stuff Chris Plante sez at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (NBVIP)

OMG!! I love love LOVE ever expanding probes!
Posted by: David French at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (GhdPM)

Move over, bitch!!

Posted by: Shep! at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (llON

Wait your turn fellas.

Posted by: Mayo Pete at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (Lh5tm)

204 183 Citizens of Earth...prepare your bungholes for probing for our time is at hand!
Posted by: The Herald of the Perv-On invasion at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (lc5cP)

It's about time!

Posted by: Barry O'Bama, the Irish Fresh Prince at August 11, 2023 04:55 PM (P6qMv)

205 Forget these little green men.. I'm waiting for the Blob or the Triffids to return

Posted by: It's me donna at August 11, 2023 04:55 PM (bs+z0)

206 198 I thought Mayor McCheese said they have received 100,000 immigrants. Where are the other 95k coming from?
Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (MNhXM)

=========

There are no border crossing stations to stop them from just going to the places that promise free bennies to illegal immigrants on their own.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:55 PM (LvTSG)

207
Point is, it reinforces my opinion that if there are aliens out there, and they do make contact with us, it will only be because they *want* to do so. And we should probably hope that they don't.
Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 04:47 PM (m9hmt)

I'd be worried they would think we taste like steak, it would be like that twilight zone episode, to serve man.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 11, 2023 04:55 PM (37GVu)

208 Stop calling them aliens! They are undocumented space visitors!

Posted by: runner at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (EHNgd)

209 The universe is a very big and sparsely populated place and this means any visitors would be rare. The idea that multiple visitors would come here and crash, in our lifetimes, is absurd enough; adding that those crashes would be found only by governments and kept secret for decades -- well now we're just gilding the lily.

So now to counter the large universe problem they're floating this fourth-dimensional bullshit.

The problem is that a large percentage of the population is so f*cking stupid and perpetually stoned on pot-marijuana that they'll believe it.

Posted by: Pastafarian at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (sgHEm)

210 199 Wormholes were the close-to-reality scientific basis for Carl Sagan’s Contact. But he really stretched the possible in that work of fiction (really stretched)
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (xT8gx)

========

Wormholes are in black holes and contain bookshelves. The same bookshelf over its entire existence, actually.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (LvTSG)

211 Before we get too all fired up about finding intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, shouldn't we demonstrate that we can find some here on Earth?

Posted by: Muldoon, not quite sure how this meme works at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (l4B/J)

212
I'd be worried they would think we taste like steak, it would be like that twilight zone episode, to serve man.
Posted by: CaliGirl at August 11, 2023 04:55 PM (37GVu)

Hopefully they're vegetarians

Posted by: It's me donna at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (bs+z0)

213 >>> 184 I'm waiting for some computer generated A1 where Jesus and Moses and Mohammed 'appear in the clouds and ask us to work together to decrease global warming because this is what God would want.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (TauWN)

This is far too Western for the commies! They'd have to include (!!!) Buddha and whatever the Aztecs worshipped and who knows what else.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (llON8)

214 I am sticking with anything coming from the govt is all lies, propaganda and/or half-truths at best.

Posted by: Ripley at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (KrJTL)

215 Maybe a promo for Resident Alien, Season 3.

Posted by: L - Practice makes perfect. They know their enemies. at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (c1k08)

216 So, an advanced race can make a spaceship that can travel thousands of light years across the cosmos.

And then it gets to earth and... crashes.

M-kay.
Posted by: kaf at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (PT5l/)

They're probably still in beta testing.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (BdMk6)

217 f'd @ 162- Never seen a fairy? Turn on Home &Garden or Hallmark channels.

Posted by: Eromero at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (z3WCn)

218 We are ants walking on a spoon.

Or perhaps penguins on the ice.

Posted by: Ed Sheeran at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (eOEVl)

219 We bring you a gift earthlings. KY Jelly!

Now bend over.

Posted by: The Aliens at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (8juNL)

220 "It's horseshit all the way down" - ancient chinese proverb.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (IG4Id)

221 Aliens just want to date me.

Posted by: AOC at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (ppBhU)

222 204 183 Citizens of Earth...prepare your bungholes for probing for our time is at hand!
Posted by: The Herald of the Perv-On invasion at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (lc5cP)

It's about time!
Posted by: Barry O'Bama, the Irish Fresh Prince at August 11, 2023 04:55 PM (P6qMv)

No! We claim these bungholes for our own use!

Posted by: Otter 841 and Friends at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (/iWhV)

223 Egg shaped probe? They recovered it from Hunter Biden's ass, that's where they recovered it from.

Posted by: Tom Servo at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (2/ueB)

224 Pam Dawber was a 1. Dunno if still.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory

Several years ago, while skiing in Colorado, I ended up riding a lift with Mark Harmon, because he and Pam got split up in the line. She was in the lift in front of me in skin tight snow pants. Hard to ogle when her husband is sitting next to me.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (lTGtQ)

225 What tech?

Our aerospace program follows a pretty linear trajectory since WW2.

I might believe we have alien tech if we were colonizing other planets, instead, it’s basically B-52 planes with jet engines instead of propellers.

The Soviets Migs were not that far behind us except for the computer chips. And yet we were supposedly using Roswell UFO tech?

Posted by: Equate at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (WKD3n)

226 There is, of course, one other alternate explanation for "aliens" and UFOs and such: demons in disguise.

I might have dismissed it out of hand once, but these days...

Posted by: Brother Tim sez Max Headroom for President! at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (OUMaO)

227 And then crash on Earth, due to incompetence.
Posted by: Mars! at August 11, 2023 04:46 PM (2tUFv)

Maybe they're used to the light from their red sun, and our yellow sun scrambles their brains.

Posted by: spindrift at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (FRu7m)

228 Before we get too all fired up about finding intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, shouldn't we demonstrate that we can find some here on Earth?
Posted by: Muldoon, not quite sure how this meme works at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (l4B/J)
***

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

deep breath

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh. You were serious.
My bad.
Good luck with that.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (hv9bm)

229 225 What tech?

Our aerospace program follows a pretty linear trajectory since WW2.

I might believe we have alien tech if we were colonizing other planets, instead, it’s basically B-52 planes with jet engines instead of propellers.

The Soviets Migs were not that far behind us except for the computer chips. And yet we were supposedly using Roswell UFO tech?
Posted by: Equate at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (WKD3n)

=======

Social media! That's what we got from them!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (LvTSG)

230 There are no border crossing stations to stop them from just going to the places that promise free bennies to illegal immigrants on their own.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:55 PM (LvTSG)

I know that. The point is that this crisis did not come up until the bussing started and it has always been implied that the bussing caused this crisis.

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (MNhXM)

231 I just got invited to spend 5 glorious days on Block Island with my besties where I can forget all this madness for a while and drink copious amounts of rum.

Nothing is making me mad today.

I decided to get a jump on fall and am enjoying my first Manhattan of the season. Copacetic.

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (eOEVl)

232 >As is often said here at the HQ, pictures or it didn't happen.

hell, I don't even trust pictures anymore

Posted by: DB - it's all plusungood at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (geLO8)

233 196 Posted by: Reuben Hick at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (p8A+W) [/1]

See my comment at 110.

Posted by: goozer at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (zyV51)

234 And their dimension is...kind of hot.

Yes this is basically the plot from That Hideous Strength.
Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 04:41 PM (lc5cP)

That could explain the wildly different forms reported in various accounts (not just little grey or green men), amongst other things.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 04:45 PM (llON

And why their "technology" is only as advanced as it needs to be to impress the current audience.

Posted by: Methos at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (Dnobf)

235 Do you have to read the article to hear SQUIRREL!! or will it suffice to know our government is full of shit?

Posted by: OneEyedJack at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (FCbAQ)

236 >>I will make you admit that Rhode Island doesn't exist, though.

I just drove past the beach and I saw a car with, get this, South Carolina license plates.

Musta got lost.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (ZLI7S)

237 Ayyyleeeums are here and real and doing stuff. This is obvious. They've been here forever too.

It is blindingly stupendously obvious this new narrative is fake and gay.

Does a lot of things, one of which is a way to save face over RUS military tech superiority and our willful failure to maintain or once pre-eminent and crucial sub fleet.

Posted by: Thesokorus at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (aCnk/)

238 Oh, fuck off back to Legoland, you big lamp!!!

Posted by: Gary King at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (ScR16)

239 "And then crash on Earth, due to incompetence.
Posted by: Mars!"

Or global warming

Posted by: Ripley at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (KrJTL)

240 I don't buy any of it.. How would they evade all the telescopes and satellites we have ? And most importantly... I believe nothing this government says

Posted by: It's me donna at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (bs+z0)

241 Let me put it this way...I never choked the chicken thinking of Pam Dawber.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (XMwZJ)

242 7 An alien probe? Like an anal probe?
Posted by: Mister Scott

********

Before opening the comments I mentally set the over/under line for mention of anal probes at 10 1/2. It's AoSHQ. Bet the Under.

ALWAYS bet the Under!

Posted by: Muldoon, not quite sure how this meme works at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (l4B/J)

243 I'm waiting for some computer generated A1 where Jesus and Moses and Mohammed 'appear in the clouds and ask us to work together to decrease global warming because this is what God would want.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (TauWN)

This is far too Western for the commies! They'd have to include (!!!) Buddha and whatever the Aztecs worshipped and who knows what else.

What am I, chopped liver?

Posted by: Moloch at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (eOEVl)

244 Do you have to read the article to hear SQUIRREL!! or will it suffice to know our government is full of shit?
Posted by: OneEyedJack at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (FCbAQ)
---
Did somebody call my name? Or am I just hearing things?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (YIVH2)

245 WVU announcing some cutbacks - the notices are brief, but apparently BA degree programs in French, German, Chinese, Russian and Spanish are on the chopping block. On a brighter note, while the puppetry program will not be eliminated outright, but will be folded into the theatre BA.

Posted by: Oglebay at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (ogTiX)

246 236 >>I will make you admit that Rhode Island doesn't exist, though.

I just drove past the beach and I saw a car with, get this, South Carolina license plates.

Musta got lost.
Posted by: JackStraw at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (ZLI7S)

=======

He's not an advance scout for the army. Trust me. Worry not.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (LvTSG)

247 SF in 1963: Aliens are here and they want to show us how to live in peace

SF in 1983: Aliens are here and they want to probe our backdoors

SF in 2003: Aliens are here and they to probe our backdoors AND kill us.

The real world in 2023: Backdoor probing by weird looking beings? No that's not the aliens that's your kid's elementary school teacher. Also, aliens are totally real.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (lc5cP)

248 184 I'm waiting for some computer generated A1 where Jesus and Moses and Mohammed 'appear in the clouds and ask us to work together to decrease global warming because this is what God would want.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (TauWN)

----

I'm sure all the AIs have been trained not to generate images of Mohammed.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (+J9jQ)

249 Before we get too all fired up about finding intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, shouldn't we demonstrate that we can find some here on Earth?

Posted by: Muldoon, not quite sure how this meme works

Dude. If there actually is extraterrestrial life zipping around the galaxy, we're the equivalent of Detroit, or maybe Mogadishu. "Yo, dude, do NOT land there...I'm serious..."

Posted by: Brother Tim sez Max Headroom for President! at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (OUMaO)

250 Whatever the case with the UFO's... if (if) the question of extraterrestrial life can answered one way or the other, without question, it would be momentous. Perhaps one of the most significant moments in history.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (Q4IgG)

251 Aliens stopping of at earth would be about as exciting as stopping at the "World's Biggest Ball of Yarn" on a summer cross-country road trip with no a/c and it's 105 outside.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (4+ckB)

252 Yay! A Nephilim thread!

Posted by: That guy who says Yay! A Nephilim Thread! at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (4Bi4D)

253 203 >88 >>> 180 149 Is it an ever-expanding probe?
Posted by: Stuff Chris Plante sez at August 11, 2023 04:48 PM (NBVIP)

OMG!! I love love LOVE ever expanding probes!
Posted by: David French at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (GhdPM)

Move over, bitch!!
Posted by: Shep! at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (llON

Wait your turn fellas.
Posted by: Mayo Pete at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (Lh5tm)

Make me squeal like Mike!!

Posted by: Barack Obama at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (GhdPM)

254 And all those people on "X-Files" who lost their lives trying to uncover these secrets, now Biden just spills the beans... SMH

Posted by: The Unknown Comic at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (ssESX)

255 As is often said here at the HQ, pictures or it didn't happen.

hell, I don't even trust pictures anymore
Posted by: DB - it's all plusungood at August 11, 2023 04:58 PM (geLO

***

I bet Joe Mannix has pictures.
Alien pictures.
Red-headed aliens.
He can lie to me if he has to.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (hv9bm)

256 Would have been Willowed:

The US Army Base Formerly Known As Fort Hood has been in the news because, something like only two (2) of twelve (12) mess hall dining facilities are open. Shortage of cooks, you see. Reasons proffered? Deployments is one, sort of sounds reasonable. Sort of, though not really.

The RUMOR is, the DEPLOYMENTS are down at the border. Not some stupid fucking war on the other side of the planet. No sir.

Feeding invaders across our border, if true.

Nice!

Posted by: Common Tater at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (lwnaT)

257 Inter dimensional travel.

The Warp, this sounds like the Warp.

Of course if we’re actually living in a Sci-Fi universe, It would absolutely have to be the most miserable one in media.

40k.

Judging by the misery I’m seeing daily, that sounds about right. Might as well embrace it.

Let’s go forth on a holy crusade to crush these xenos invaders!

Posted by: Cashin at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (tQ+qk)

258 Let's do the time warp again!

It's just a jump to the left

Posted by: nurse ratched, otter 841 superfan! at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (SIPhV)

259 We bring you a gift earthlings. KY Jelly!

Seems like they ought to have some kind of supercivilization advanced spaceage liquid polymer. "These prevents tears in spacetime, so your bunghole should be okay too. We've put many a zorth into Kranbar's duel rectums over the year as practical jokes and he almost never requires the healing chamber."

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (ppBhU)

260 OMG!! I love love LOVE ever expanding probes!
Posted by: David French at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (GhdPM)

Move over, bitch!!

Posted by: Shep! at August 11, 2023 04:53 PM (llON

Wait your turn fellas.
Posted by: Mayo Pete at August 11, 2023 04:54 PM (Lh5tm)

Excuse me, who else here was President? I didn't think so. Besides, this'll be a nice break from Michelle.

Posted by: Barack Obama at August 11, 2023 05:01 PM (m9hmt)

261 Do you have to read the article to hear SQUIRREL!! or will it suffice to know our government is full of shit?

SQUIRREL?!?!?!?

/Zoomies

Posted by: Dogs everywhere at August 11, 2023 05:01 PM (lc5cP)

262 It's official. We live in a National Enquirer world.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 11, 2023 05:01 PM (oiP+6)

263 I think a lot of alien visitation and probe stories are a result of sleep paralysis. That’s some scary shit. It’s happened to me once and I had no idea what was going on.

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 05:01 PM (MNhXM)

264 Look Squirrel!

Posted by: Skip at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (MOY79)

265 Does anyone else get the feeling Ace likes to post these kind of silly topics at the end of a hard-fought week, so as to avoid everyone being mad over the weekend? It's a good strategy.

Maybe so. I'm mostly a weekday walker here. Most of the weekend stuff holds little interest for me. Having said that, the cobs do a stellar job holding down the fort. It's much appreciated, by us all.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (Xrfse)

266 Never seen a fairy? Turn on Home &Garden or Hallmark channels.
Posted by: Eromero at August 11, 2023 04:57 PM (z3WCn)

Concur. Sodomites all over those channels. Last time I watched Homo In The Garden channel they had 2 sodomites house shopping with a sodomite real estate agent.

I half expected them to go full on sodomy porn while showing the pool and hot tub area.

Bow chicka bow bow…

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (R/m4+)

267 "f'd @ 162- Never seen a fairy? Turn on Home &Garden or Hallmark channels.
Posted by: Eromero "

Not them kind of fairies. You know, like a sprite or a pixie. Not Pixy with a Sprite though. That won't do.

Posted by: fd at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (vFG9F)

268 I think cosmologists & physicists make a lot of shit up

Just say 'we don't know'
I'll accept that

Posted by: DB - it's all plusungood at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (geLO8)

269 The RUMOR is, the DEPLOYMENTS are down at the border. Not some stupid fucking war on the other side of the planet. No sir.

Feeding invaders across our border, if true.

Nice!
Posted by: Common Tater at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (lwnaT)

Fatal training accidents and genetals crashing cesnas solo all also unrelated to UKR.

Posted by: Thesokorus at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (aCnk/)

270 264 Look Squirrel!
Posted by: Skip at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (MOY79)

Nope.. Not gonna look

Posted by: It's me donna at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (bs+z0)

271 >>> 265 Does anyone else get the feeling Ace likes to post these kind of silly topics at the end of a hard-fought week, so as to avoid everyone being mad over the weekend? It's a good strategy.

Maybe so. I'm mostly a weekday walker here. Most of the weekend stuff holds little interest for me. Having said that, the cobs do a stellar job holding down the fort. It's much appreciated, by us all.
Posted by: Notorious BFD at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (Xrfse)

Burn the heretic!!!

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (llON8)

272 Wormholes are in black holes and contain bookshelves. The same bookshelf over its entire existence, actually.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir

L-Space. You're thinking of L-Space.

Posted by: Brother Tim sez Max Headroom for President! at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (OUMaO)

273

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (llON8)

274 Inter dimensional travel.

The Warp, this sounds like the Warp.

Of course if we’re actually living in a Sci-Fi universe, It would absolutely have to be the most miserable one in media.

40k.

How you expected the world to end: Khornate invasion

How you feared the world would end: Nurgal invasion

How the world will actually end: Slaanesh converting the world's elites

Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (lc5cP)

275 Let's face it, there is no reason for anyone to visit our solar system.

Posted by: runner at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (EHNgd)

276 Barrel.

Posted by: Brother Tim sez Max Headroom for President! at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (OUMaO)

277 The Warp, this sounds like the Warp.

Of course if we’re actually living in a Sci-Fi universe, It would absolutely have to be the most miserable one in media.

40k.

Judging by the misery I’m seeing daily, that sounds about right. Might as well embrace it.

Let’s go forth on a holy crusade to crush these xenos invaders!
Posted by: Cashin at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (tQ+qk)
----
One of the prevailing theories of the movie Event Horizon is that it's a prequel to Warhammer 40K.

Science fiction author Cordwainer Smith also painted a very, very grim picture of interstellar travel. "The Game of Rat and Dragon" is a pretty cool depiction.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (YIVH2)

278 You know what? If you got an Alien Craft you're hanging on to in secret, and you wanna make it not secret, just wheel the fucking thing out onto a stage, invite the press, and start poking at the thing until it goes bleep or blorp or fucking whatever.

If you got Mr. Grey in a jail cell back there, trot the little fucker out in front of a camera and let's party.

Otherwise it's all just a bunch of rumor mill bullshit that doesn't even deserve the name PsyOp.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (9UlRk)

279 You know who else came to Earth in an egg?

Mork from Ork.

They're going to have to come up with a better story.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (oiP+6)

280 >On a brighter note, while the puppetry program will not be eliminated outright, but will be folded into the theatre BA.

Posted by: Oglebay at August 11, 2023 04:59 PM (ogTiX)

A BA in puppetry. Seriously.

Posted by: Heavy Meta at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (Lh5tm)

281 262 It's official. We live in a National Enquirer world.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 11, 2023 05:01 PM (oiP+6)
----
It is the best investigative reporting on the planet, after all.

Posted by: Man in black, Agent K at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (ssESX)

282 ... that this is a "probe" to collect information about the earth, and also, to Steal Our Women. (I assume the latter.)

-----------

"From my cold, dead penis!

Take your stinkin' paws off muh woman, you damn dirty gray!"

Posted by: ShainS -- Chief 'Misinformation' Researcher at AoSHQ at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (JkdQ8)

283 I think cosmologists & physicists make a lot of shit up

Just say 'we don't know'
I'll accept that

What? You don't find infinite parallel universes convincing?

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (eOEVl)

284 Kip Thorne, a theoretical physicist at Cal Tech, wrote a book for the layman called: Black Holes & Time Warps. I once read it…. Didn’t understand much of it…. But he seemed to be saying that the laws of physics as presently understood might allow time travel and other bizarre stuff… like the capability to travel interstellar distances. But then he was friends with Stephen Hawking who was friends with Sheldon Cooper who’s a big child… so maybe a credibility problem :-)

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (xT8gx)

285 Burn the heretic!!!

Need a match?

Posted by: Notorious BFD at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (Xrfse)

286 Does anyone else get the feeling Ace likes to post these kind of silly topics at the end of a hard-fought week, so as to avoid everyone being mad over the weekend?

Hadn't really occurred to me. I had assumes that by week's end he's stumbling around dead drunk on some fermented keto friendly nonsense, waiving his spear at terrified ladies he's threatening to eat because he's mistaken them for Leia.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (ppBhU)

287 > How would they evade all the telescopes and satellites we have ?

This one's actually pretty easy. A lot of our satellites aren't monitoring anything. They're broadcasting/receiving. Most of the ones that do monitor things are pointed down at earth. The satellites and telescopes we have can only look at a teeny tiny itty bit of space at a time.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (0N1h0)

288 Maybe so. I'm mostly a weekday walker here. Most of the weekend stuff holds little interest for me. Having said that, the cobs do a stellar job holding down the fort. It's much appreciated, by us all.
Posted by: Notorious BFD at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (Xrfse)

---
I've got a special pair of pants for you to wear on the Sunday Morning Book Thread!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (YIVH2)

289 Black Holes are silly.

Posted by: Thesokorus at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (aCnk/)

290 One would have to jack with time - something that belongs to God alone. This is a psy-op, probably leading to some policy where us stupid humans should take the advice of space aliens in how to live sustainably.

----------

I don't think God really uses the concept of time. When he gets tired of something, he yawns, and then shit starts exploding.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (BdMk6)

291 Leftist moonbat Hollywood celebrity Woody Harrelson is being cancelled because he wore an RFK Jr. cap. Ask not for whom the moonbat screeches. It screeches for thee.

https://tinyurl.com/yc4r8war

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (FVME7)

292 @279 Nanoo! Nanoo!

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (ssESX)

293
Mork from Ork.

I hate Orks.

Posted by: Some inquisitor at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (lc5cP)

294 The UFO & Alien stuff used to be fun and entertaining, of course the gubermint has to get involved and turn it to sh!t, like everything else.

Posted by: Rufus T Firefly at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (aOqrc)

295 Did the government recover any Spice?

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (MNhXM)

296 genetals crashing cesnas solo
Posted by: Thesokorus at August 11, 2023 05:02 PM (aCnk/)

Best. Typo. Ever.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (9UlRk)

297 The problem with interdimensional movement is the virtual 404 when you select the wrong dimension.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (jq39B)

298 Egg Shaped?

Since the aliens have alloys that wouldn't melt inside the Sun, and mysterious, unlimited power sources and engines powerful enough that they don't need to streamline their vehicles for reduced drag, I expected their craft would look like this

https://tinyurl.com/3ntsm9wu

Posted by: Gref at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (AMIL/)

299 Let's face it, there is no reason for anyone to visit our solar system.
------------
Intergalactic Jehovah's Witnesses

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (oiP+6)

300 >>He's not an advance scout for the army. Trust me. Worry not.

Axshully, there is a pretty large number of folks who go back and forth to SC. Both snow birds and kids. College of Charleston became a thing around here.

You should be more worried about a Rogue Island invasion.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (ZLI7S)

301 Just remember "Klaatu barada nikto"...
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (jq39B)

Hey, screw you, pal.

Posted by: Ash Williams at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (Dnobf)

302 The only aliens are liberals, physics doesn't support the other kind. Of course economics doesn't support liberals either, but one is science and the other is jibber jabber.

Posted by: Indignacio Vindacatorem at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (ebrc7)

303 Superman fell to earth in that crystal sea urchin-looking thing

Posted by: DB - it's all plusungood at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (geLO8)

304 Woody Harrelson slammed the clot shot on SNL so the left is not so enamored with him any more

Posted by: 18-1 at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (lc5cP)

305 Does anyone else get the feeling Ace likes to post these kind of silly topics at the end of a hard-fought week, so as to avoid everyone being mad over the weekend?

Hadn't really occurred to me. I had assumes that by week's end he's stumbling around dead drunk on some fermented keto friendly nonsense, waiving his spear at terrified ladies he's threatening to eat because he's mistaken them for Leia.

Okay, yeah, it could be that.

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (eOEVl)

306 Kip Thorne, a theoretical physicist at Cal Tech, wrote a book for the layman called: Black Holes & Time Warps. I once read it…. Didn’t understand much of it…. But he seemed to be saying that the laws of physics as presently understood might allow time travel and other bizarre stuff… like the capability to travel interstellar distances. But then he was friends with Stephen Hawking who was friends with Sheldon Cooper who’s a big child… so maybe a credibility problem :-)
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (xT8gx)

Anything's possible if you can travel faster than light.

Note: you can't travel faster than light

Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 05:06 PM (m9hmt)

307 Black Holes are silly.
Posted by: Thesokorus at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (aCnk/)

Do you believe in gravity?

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 05:06 PM (MNhXM)

308 This is psyops, and it is meant to reinforce the "conspiracy theory" trope and discredit legit whistleblowers. Complete bullshit.

Posted by: Neo-Kulak at August 11, 2023 05:06 PM (O2Vgk)

309 We told you so!

Posted by: Supermarket Checkout Aisles of America at August 11, 2023 05:07 PM (DsA2n)

310 I've got a special pair of pants for you to wear on the Sunday Morning Book Thread!

Love the book thread. I mostly lurk, but it's awesome.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at August 11, 2023 05:07 PM (Xrfse)

311 But he seemed to be saying that the laws of physics as presently understood might allow time travel and other bizarre stuff… like the capability to travel interstellar distances.

-
Gavin Newsom can't even build a railroad.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 11, 2023 05:07 PM (FVME7)

312 Since the aliens have alloys that wouldn't melt inside the Sun, and mysterious, unlimited power sources and engines powerful enough that they don't need to streamline their vehicles for reduced drag, I expected their craft would look like this

https://tinyurl.com/3ntsm9wu
Posted by: Gref at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (AMIL/)

If you're gonna cruise the universe, do it in style!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at August 11, 2023 05:07 PM (hv9bm)

313 Black Holes are silly.
Posted by: Thesokorus at August 11, 2023 05:04 PM (aCnk/)

Do you believe in gravity?
------------

There's a Lizzo joke there for both posts.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 11, 2023 05:07 PM (oiP+6)

314 Look at that will, ya! It's bourbon o'clock.

Posted by: Heavy Meta at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (Lh5tm)

315 You know who else came to Earth in an egg?

Mork from Ork.

They're going to have to come up with a better story.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 11, 2023 05:03 PM (oiP+6)

-----------

When the AMC Gremlin came out, I remember somebody describing it as a "pregnant egg."

Posted by: ShainS -- Chief 'Misinformation' Researcher at AoSHQ at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (JkdQ8)

316 Not saying Art Bell was right, but.....

Posted by: Miklos, saying Art Bell was right at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (6PEWs)

317 Black Holes are silly.

Black holes matter, you racist.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (ppBhU)

318 I've got a crew of what I assume are Central Americans knocking down my old deck, and putting up a new one.

Ain't nothing wrong with their work ethic.

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (eOEVl)

319 I have no clue about the math or science, BUT some of the multiverse people seem to think another universe could be "overlaid" in the same "space" as our universe.

For Christians, we sort of accept this ... the spirit realm is invisible to the "natural man", yet very real. Jesus Christ was raised a spiritual man, apparently in some other "dimensional space". But I still doubt (space) aliens have visited from some far away star, or from some other dimension.

Posted by: illiniwek at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (Cus5s)

320 My wife read this and decided we need moar cocktails. I have a job to do!

Posted by: Huck Follywood at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (pskdC)

321 Fuck bro, I remember that shit. Lights out London was bad ass man !

Posted by: Pete Way at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (NtVYv)

322 its more a case of,"hey look, whats that shiny thing over there"?

Posted by: boot55555 at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (VXr/k)

323 As we are seeing with the JWST, there's A LOT out there we don't fully understand.

Many of the laws of the universe can be used and even understood to some extent. But that doesn't mean we have fully unraveled their mysteries.

Keeps life interesting.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 11, 2023 05:09 PM (YIVH2)

324 When the AMC Gremlin came out, I remember somebody describing it as a "pregnant egg."

Are you sure you aren't thinking of an AMC Pacer?

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 05:09 PM (eOEVl)

325 With all this crazy gender nonsense I have come to believe that Democrats are pod people like a scene out of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Prove me wrong.

Posted by: redridinghood at August 11, 2023 05:09 PM (NpAcC)

326 "Do you believe in gravity?
Posted by: polynikes"

Not really. It's just a term to describe how everything goes downhill.

Posted by: fd at August 11, 2023 05:09 PM (vFG9F)

327 Which came first, the disintegrating heat ray gun or the egg?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at August 11, 2023 05:09 PM (FVME7)

328 I was a submarine officer in the 90’s, and if we were reverse engineering alien tech for military use it wasn’t making it to the submarine force where you’d think it would be of critical use. Why were we still using nuclear power plants? Steel hulls? Screw propulsion? Sonar? Either it doesn’t exist or the aliens aren’t any more advanced than we are lol.

Posted by: JeffinNC at August 11, 2023 05:09 PM (n2Y2C)

329 I'm waiting for the Eff.Bee.EYE to arrest DeSantis and / or Abbott, or try to...
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at August 11, 2023 04:52 PM (llON

That is a plot worthy of a 2000's action adventure bit: FBI SWAT vs the Texas Rangers.

Posted by: Kindltot at August 11, 2023 05:10 PM (xhaym)

330 @318, not throwing rocks but I make sure every crew working on our casa is legal - I make the contractors affirm such on email. Maybe lying, but it's a start.

Posted by: Indignacio Vindacatorem at August 11, 2023 05:10 PM (ebrc7)

331 Stop!

In the name of love!

Before you break my 8-chambered aorta!

Posted by: The 'Fourth' Dimension at August 11, 2023 05:10 PM (krqg6)

332 With all this crazy gender nonsense I have come to believe that Democrats are pod people like a scene out of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Prove me wrong.
Posted by: redridinghood at August 11, 2023 05:09 PM (NpAcC)

Nah. The pod people had more humanity and independent thinking.

Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 05:10 PM (m9hmt)

333 Seriously though, human understanding has barely begun to scratch the surface of reality.

Posted by: observer at August 11, 2023 05:10 PM (GhdPM)

334 Many of the laws of the universe can be used and even understood to some extent. But that doesn't mean we have fully unraveled their mysteries.

Keeps life interesting.

Dude.
*takes another toke*

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 05:10 PM (eOEVl)

335 312 Since the aliens have alloys that wouldn't melt inside the Sun, and mysterious, unlimited power sources and engines powerful enough that they don't need to streamline their vehicles for reduced drag, I expected their craft would look like this

https://tinyurl.com/3ntsm9wu
Posted by: Gref at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (AMIL/)

If you're gonna cruise the universe, do it in style!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at August 11, 2023 05:07 PM (hv9bm)

Extra Credit Question: Who owned that car?

Posted by: Gref at August 11, 2023 05:10 PM (AMIL/)

336 Wormholes are in black holes and contain bookshelves. The same bookshelf over its entire existence, actually.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, contemplating utopia with Peter Weir at August 11, 2023 04:56 PM (LvTSG)

----

Also, each bookshelf only has one book: an autographed copy of How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrictanus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey?or Effective Way?

https://tinyurl.com/3h3upjk4

Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 11, 2023 05:10 PM (+J9jQ)

337 ooohhh...I'm so mad I could tweet at any time....

Now, where did my Alludium Q-34 explosive space modulator run off to?

Posted by: Marvin. Dictator of Mars at August 11, 2023 05:11 PM (89Sog)

338 I'm waiting for some computer generated A1 where Jesus and Moses and Mohammed 'appear in the clouds...

********

I think that was a scene from Happy Gilmore.

Only it was Chubbs, a one-eyed alligator and Abraham Lincoln.

Posted by: Muldoon, not quite sure how this meme works at August 11, 2023 05:11 PM (l4B/J)

339 Posted by: illiniwek at August 11, 2023 05:08 PM (Cus5s)

I’m a multiverse guy and a Christian .

Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 05:11 PM (MNhXM)

340 I think it's time to mosey on home and continue reading "Beyond the Ice Limit" by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child.

A massive alien meteorite turns out to be a seed pod for a panspermia event and the heroes are trying to destroy it before it wipes out all life on earth.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 11, 2023 05:11 PM (YIVH2)

341 330 @318, not throwing rocks but I make sure every crew working on our casa is legal - I make the contractors affirm such on email. Maybe lying, but it's a start.

I don't know where you live, but in NoVa, it's illegal to ask.

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 05:11 PM (eOEVl)

342 I think cosmologists & physicists make a lot of shit up

Meh. I don’t care what beauticians and jocks think.

Posted by: db at August 11, 2023 05:12 PM (wu87C)

343 Just remember "Klaatu barada nikto"...
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (jq39B)

One of my favorite movies

Posted by: Rufus T Firefly at August 11, 2023 05:12 PM (aOqrc)

344 Nood, Bribem.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at August 11, 2023 05:12 PM (/nCD+)

345 @323, you can't go light speed, period. Meaning interstellar travel is impossible. We are alone except for God. This isn't hard.

Posted by: Indignacio Vindacatorem at August 11, 2023 05:12 PM (ebrc7)

346 Aliens? We're gonna spend a bunch of money investigating aliens?

Clown world.

Posted by: creeper at August 11, 2023 05:12 PM (cTCuP)

347 Star Trek TNG: The Borg
Star Trek The Original Series: Giant vacuum cleaner that eats planets.
Reality: An Egg that crashes.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 11, 2023 05:12 PM (oiP+6)

348 Canadian woman goes to the doctor because she's having suicidal thoughts. They tell her the wait times to see a psychiatrist are extremely long and has she considered their, "Medical Assistance in Dying" program?

https://is.gd/mTJ9Ub

But at least it's free, right Canadians?

Posted by: bonhomme at August 11, 2023 05:13 PM (0N1h0)

349 I’m a multiverse guy and a Christian .
Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 05:11 PM (MNhXM)

How would that work in Christian theology, though? Can one version of yourself get saved in one universe and lost in another? And if multiple versions of yourself do get saved, do they all dwell in the afterlife together?

Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 05:14 PM (m9hmt)

350 I'm sure all the AIs have been trained not to generate images of Mohammed.
Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (+J9jQ)

Apparently "(Jesus ;;-1) ;;-1"

will do it.

Posted by: Methos at August 11, 2023 05:14 PM (Dnobf)

351 Have you ever considered that Earth is on the path of the Intergalactic Driving School?
Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 04:51 PM (eOEVl)

-------------------

That makes sense, we are at the outer edge of the galaxy so aliens would train where there is little going on.

Posted by: President Select Decaf at August 11, 2023 05:14 PM (3JfbU)

352 Since the aliens have alloys that wouldn't melt inside the Sun, and mysterious, unlimited power sources and engines powerful enough that they don't need to streamline their vehicles for reduced drag, I expected their craft would look like this

https://tinyurl.com/3ntsm9wu
Posted by: Gref at August 11, 2023 05:05 PM (AMIL/)

If you're gonna cruise the universe, do it in style!!!
Posted by: Diogenes at August 11, 2023 05:07 PM (hv9bm)

-----------

I imagine Ford Prefect driving something like that in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Posted by: ShainS -- Chief 'Misinformation' Researcher at AoSHQ at August 11, 2023 05:14 PM (JkdQ8)

353 Actual egg-shaped silver craft:

https://tinyurl.com/4x2m7b5p

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at August 11, 2023 05:15 PM (4PZHB)

354 That's a joke. Don't tell the AI to do that.

Posted by: Methos at August 11, 2023 05:15 PM (Dnobf)

355 319 I have no clue about the math or science, BUT some of the multiverse people seem to think another universe could be "overlaid" in the same "space" as our universe.
------------
Lord Kalvan of Otherwhen
https://tinyurl.com/hkhsby

The whole book -- Guttenberg Project:
https://tinyurl.com/2p8nvjbt

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at August 11, 2023 05:15 PM (krqg6)

356 I was a submarine officer in the 90’s, and if we were reverse engineering alien tech for military use it wasn’t making it to the submarine force where you’d think it would be of critical use. Why were we still using nuclear power plants? Steel hulls? Screw propulsion? Sonar? Either it doesn’t exist or the aliens aren’t any more advanced than we are lol.
Posted by: JeffinNC at August 11, 2023 05:09 PM (n2Y2C)

Drop a Samsung A6 tablet in Hermann von Helmholtz' lap and watch what he does. My Dad could barely figure one out, and he had WiFi

Posted by: Kindltot at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (xhaym)

357 The most ridiculous supposition is that some advanced civilization builds an incredible technology that we cannot even imagine, and then they use this technology to go find a pack of talking monkeys and anally rape them.

Posted by: Tom Servo at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (2/ueB)

358 well that was stupid. Narf

Posted by: Kindltot at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (xhaym)

359 I'm sure all the AIs have been trained not to generate images of Mohammed.
Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 11, 2023 05:00 PM (+J9jQ)

They'll have his supposed voice speaking Arabic with his image behind a curtain. The others will speak Hebrew and Aramaic and there will be all kind of special effects.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (Keyt1)

360 Not unrelated.

Weird AL - Foil
www.youtube.com/watch?v=urglg3WimHA

Posted by: Darth Randall at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (f1kZG)

361 How would that work in Christian theology, though? Can one version of yourself get saved in one universe and lost in another? And if multiple versions of yourself do get saved, do they all dwell in the afterlife together?

Posted by: Dr. T at August 11, 2023 05:14 PM (m9hmt)

---------

Celestial Octagon: many souls enter, only one leaves.

Posted by: ShainS -- Chief 'Misinformation' Researcher at AoSHQ at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (JkdQ8)

362 I think a lot of alien visitation and probe stories are a result of sleep paralysis. That’s some scary shit. It’s happened to me once and I had no idea what was going on.
Posted by: polynikes at August 11, 2023 05:01 PM (MNhXM)

Sometimes people wake up and can't move.
Sometimes they can't move and feel something in the room.
Sometimes they see something malevolent.
Sometimes, before they see the malevolent entity(/ies), they are levitated off their bed and through a closed window, or their roof and into a 'craft'.

Whatever that is, it does seem to be degrees of the same thing.

Posted by: Methos at August 11, 2023 05:17 PM (Dnobf)

363 Why do aliens always have to be from a gajillion light years away? Can’t they be from like a 250 billion miles away or something and just have a really fast way to travel?

Posted by: Montec at August 11, 2023 05:17 PM (J08XQ)

364
Amazing Alien Technology:

Velcro
Magnets
The WonderBra
The Clitoris

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 11, 2023 05:18 PM (n+4am)

365 Maybe it's a real case of the body snatchers and Aliens are taking over Socialists

Posted by: Skip at August 11, 2023 05:18 PM (MOY79)

366 It's even worse than all the speculation. Aliens visited Earth long ago and implanted in random women their fetuses, that would grow into beings who would become our leaders.

The bad news: the ultimate culmination of this ghastly pollination experiment is... the Bidens.

The really bad news: they have already reported back whether we should be spared or destroyed. The thumbs-down code phrase: "Dog-faced Pony Soldiers".

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at August 11, 2023 05:19 PM (OqSlY)

367 I'm waiting for some computer generated A1 where Jesus and Moses and Mohammed 'appear in the clouds...

********

I think that was a scene from Happy Gilmore.

Only it was Chubbs, a one-eyed alligator and Abraham Lincoln.
Posted by: Muldoon, not quite sure how this meme works at August 11, 2023 05:11 PM (l4B/J)

That was also used in one of Vince Flynn's novels.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at August 11, 2023 05:19 PM (BdMk6)

368 The most ridiculous supposition is that some advanced civilization builds an incredible technology that we cannot even imagine, and then they use this technology to go find a pack of talking monkeys and anally rape them.
Posted by: Tom Servo at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (2/ueB)
---

Alien democrats? It could happen.

Posted by: Darth Randall at August 11, 2023 05:20 PM (f1kZG)

369 Not unrelated.

Weird AL - Foil
www.youtube.com/watch?v=urglg3WimHA
Posted by: Darth Randall at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (f1kZG)

this is probably the best music video ever made. Except for the end

Posted by: Kindltot at August 11, 2023 05:20 PM (xhaym)

370 Why do aliens always have to be from a gajillion light years away? Can’t they be from like a 250 billion miles away or something and just have a really fast way to travel?

The nearest star, Alpha Centauri, is 25 trillion miles away. I don't see an advanced civilization developing on a cold rock in the Kuiper belt.

Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 05:20 PM (eOEVl)

371 "Can one version of yourself get saved in one universe and lost in another? And if multiple versions of yourself do get saved, do they all dwell in the afterlife together?"

afaik the "inverse" universe where the events happen on another "parallel universe" is just one sci fi theory of the more physics/math version of the multiverse thing.

Posted by: illiniwek at August 11, 2023 05:22 PM (Cus5s)

372 by the way, Wierd: The Al Yankovic Story is out and it is the official biopic.

For . . . Well, I guess he wrote it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyYZOtAxYKY

Posted by: Kindltot at August 11, 2023 05:22 PM (xhaym)

373
The nearest star, Alpha Centauri, is 25 trillion miles away. I don't see an advanced civilization developing on a cold rock in the Kuiper belt.
Posted by: Archimedes at August 11, 2023 05:20 PM (eOEVl)

Ahh. I didn’t realize the closet planet was that far away. I don’t know shit about this stuff.

Posted by: Montec at August 11, 2023 05:23 PM (J08XQ)

374 Closest star that is.

Posted by: Montec at August 11, 2023 05:23 PM (J08XQ)

375 Can one version of yourself get saved in one universe and lost in another? And if multiple versions of yourself do get saved, do they all dwell in the afterlife together?"

afaik the "inverse" universe where the events happen on another "parallel universe" is just one sci fi theory of the more physics/math version of the multiverse thing.
Posted by: illiniwek at August 11, 2023 05:22 PM (Cus5s)

Watch the series Dark on Netflix. Its main theme is multi/parallel universes. It's German, so it's a bit nihilistic, but it's okay.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at August 11, 2023 05:26 PM (BdMk6)

376 Long assumed we are so far out in the perimeter it would be shear dumb luck a Alien would find us

Posted by: Skip at August 11, 2023 05:28 PM (MOY79)

377 I guess Biden is trouble and they have run out of BS Trump charges. Kennedy assassination would help a competitor, so UFO's it is

Posted by: Chicago Vota at August 11, 2023 05:31 PM (mbH6j)

378 If you find an egg the size of an SUV, I strongly recommend not warming it up.

Posted by: MartynWW at August 11, 2023 05:49 PM (sHP7b)

379 Do I believe in advanced alien life? Yes. "In my father's house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you."

Do I think our government is full of crap? Yes.

This is a big psyop, a cover for a modern version of project Mogul, SR-71, Aurora and the like.

Posted by: Archer at August 11, 2023 05:58 PM (gmo/4)

380 Earth Girls are Easy

Posted by: Archer at August 11, 2023 06:00 PM (gmo/4)

381 357 The most ridiculous supposition is that some advanced civilization builds an incredible technology that we cannot even imagine, and then they use this technology to go find a pack of talking monkeys and anally rape them.
Posted by: Tom Servo at August 11, 2023 05:16 PM (2/ueB)

Maybe they're so advanced that a jaunt to earth and back is nothing, and what we're seeing are just the delinquent youth out cow tipping.

Posted by: Bacon Jeff at August 11, 2023 06:21 PM (VGRuw)

382 I dunno, does anyone else feel a twinge of doubt when these claims of alien visitation so closely resemble the UFO lore seen frequently in popular media?
Well, to play Devil's Advocate, how many people felt a twinge of doubt when the stories coming out of the 0bama and Biden administrations sounded so much like 1984, Brave New World, and Fahrenheit 451?

US military and intelligence officials are leaking a false story in order to run a psyops campaign on the population for unknown purposes.
Unknown purposes? *points to multiple posts on the Biden bribery and calls for Fauci to suffer*

Posted by: GWB at August 11, 2023 06:25 PM (XfCzJ)

383 Video of orb!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Isrd7E5nzIQ

Posted by: H8_the_deepstate at August 11, 2023 06:31 PM (Yiz1Q)

384 When pretty much every apparent sighting lines up with shitty Sci-Fi movies, I'm guessing it's complete shit meant to distract people.

They know that a vast majority of the population gets all its information from movies, and they base their entire world view around them, so it makes for an easy way to further fill them, because they'll accept it as being a confirmation of what they already believe to be true.

Posted by: Rbastid at August 11, 2023 06:36 PM (Xy+M2)

385 See that coiled phone wire and the wall phone in pic's back ground?

Neither such plastic wall phones nor coiled wire were used until the late 1950's.

That pic was supposedly from the late 40's.

BUSTED

Posted by: Noam Sayen at August 11, 2023 06:45 PM (t79HI)

386 Dammit, I thought this was the Brian Stelter origin story.

Posted by: p-squared at August 11, 2023 07:30 PM (21WOp)

387 Sorry, you can bend the laws of physics to cross the universe but when you get here not only can every corn-chewin' hillbilly see you with his naked, half-blind, lazy eye but somehow you manage to crash the damn thing in the wide open nothingness of New-Mexico.
Yep. It's a psy-op.

Posted by: STV at August 11, 2023 08:33 PM (5EXo0)

388 Recommend Ruppelt, Report on Unidentified Flying Objects.Some interesting stuff. If he's telling the truth, "unknown" is after some serious investigation.
Also, a glimpse of a world gone. Oak Ridge had clapped-out P47 doing donuts for Combat Air Patrol.. Oak Ridge.
Ground Observer Corps.
Radar operator someplace in the midwest gets an odd return, makes a call, couple of interceptors are up and chasing it.
"war nerves"
"an F86 was in the area"
Covered late Forties to early Fifties including infighting among services and feds.

Posted by: Richard Aubrey at August 11, 2023 09:41 PM (dSnnl)

389 >The Government Recovered an "Egg-Shaped" Alien Probe the Size of an SUV

Yes, I also remember the WB's _Smallville_.

Posted by: Daniel Ream at August 13, 2023 06:53 PM (/0tPK)

390 Before Bluebook there were Air Force Projects “SIgn” 1948-1949, succeeded by “Grudge” 1949- 1950 when the CIA got interested in UFOs and saw it as an opportunity to begin a misinformation campaign. There are several ex-CIA officials who tell this story - at the time They were concerned the threat was Russian and focused on the threat in that context. The Air Force investigators did not agree with the CIA’s assessment; reporting that while some were explainable iwith conventional methods, some could not be, and appeared to be beyond any technology anyone possessed. Nevertheless the CIA had the ear of Truman and his cabinet, and exploited the issue by ridiculing the entire issue and anyone who stepped forward to report something. Privately, they were watching it closely since we had entered the Cold War. . This is a matter of record, and you can find CIA officials in documentaries bragging about the amateurism of the Air Force investigators who took the issue seriously. That legacy was to continue through it’s successor Project Blue Book which lasted in limited (unofficial )capacity until 1999.
So… to answer the underlying question- if they ARE real, we wouldn’t know.

Posted by: Southpaw at August 14, 2023 08:13 AM (Pj311)

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