Harry Markle: When I Applied The Cream to My Aching Penis, I Was Transported and Could Only Think of My Mum's Fragrant Lips

You do you, I guess.

I don't know the context for this, but I guess his dick got cold. The best context would be that he near-froze his dick off while training with the army in Afghanistan, and had this cream recommended to combat pre-frostbite.

That doesn't explain away the gratuitous association of the smell of the cream with his mother's lips, though. Not every stray thought needs be shared.

First I thought this was an edit of words from his audiobook, assembled together out of original context, but David Strom says this is all legit, from his quickie nastybook Spare.

This book is a Freudian nightmare. pic.twitter.com/PPJtjPXWvq
— Dominic Wakeford (@domwakeford) January 11, 2023

My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive... and borderline traumatized. The last place I wanted to be was Frostnipistan. I'd been trying some home remedies, including one recommended by a friend. She'd urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream.
My mum used that on her lips.
You want me to put that on my todger?
It works, Harry. Trust me.
I found a tube... and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time I felt as if my mother was right there in the room... And I took a smidge and applied it down there.

The ick factor and squick factor here are high enough to warrant a Wellness Check with a complimentary Forensic Computer Frisk.

How did this strong, self-possessed man become an easy mark for a predatory narcissist with a talent for manipulating weak, needy men with mother-shaped holes in their middles?, asked literally no one.

Thanks to Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14.

Posted by: Ace at 03:35 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 This dude is sick.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at January 12, 2023 03:36 PM (uNylN)

2 Oh and first!

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at January 12, 2023 03:36 PM (uNylN)

3 My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive... and borderline traumatized. The last place I wanted to be was Frostnipistan. I'd been trying some home remedies, including one recommended by a friend. She'd urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream.

=========

I wonder if Henry V ever imagined writing memoirs along these lines.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 03:36 PM (LvTSG)

4
Don't take Oscillating Penis if you are allergic to Oscillating Penis

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 12, 2023 03:36 PM (pNxlR)

5 Harry will change genders.
Markle will change genders (although seems she already has).
Just to balance it all out.

Posted by: artisanal ette at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (9qHsE)

6 Nobody cares!

(Wait, that was for the Golden Globes... eh- still applies)

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (xisCQ)

7 She'd urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream.
My mum used that on her lips.

You want me to put that on my todger?

It works, Harry. Trust me

How would she know what works best on a frostbitten penis?

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (/8W6s)

8 Dear Penthouse Forum...

Posted by: Curly Shuffle at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (TNyrE)

9 That doesn't explain away the gratuitous association of the smell of the cream with his mother's lips, though. Not every stray thought needs be shared.

==========

How else is a marginal celebrity supposed to stay relevant!?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (LvTSG)

10 Damn, we made a good call in 1776.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (/8W6s)

11 Ok, who has Harry Windsor in their deadpool?

Posted by: WinLinBSDAdmin at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (KXkkH)

12
The Spare's Penis was tick-tocking faster than a metronome in overdrive

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (pNxlR)

13 The sun has set on the British Empire. Sadly.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at January 12, 2023 03:38 PM (Hb96K)

14 You know who benefits from criticizing Harry and Meghan?

Putin, that's who!

Posted by: The Deep State! at January 12, 2023 03:38 PM (2tUFv)

15 So, not a bad lip reading video.

Huh.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at January 12, 2023 03:38 PM (aXxgO)

16 Somebody needs to have the Oversharing and Too Much Information chat with Harry.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 03:38 PM (lf83v)

17 This is one sick Dude

Posted by: It's me donna at January 12, 2023 03:38 PM (bs+z0)

18
In a few years when he's divorced, and begging to be let back into the royal family he'll wish his dick would have been frostbitten off well before he stuck it in that Markle lady. He's tied to her forever because of the kids he had with her.

Posted by: portlandon at January 12, 2023 03:38 PM (+oR7L)

19 Mr. Markle has some serious issues.

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 03:38 PM (DRSnL)

20 Harry is a imbecile. That is all.

Posted by: dantesed at January 12, 2023 03:39 PM (193FS)

21 This could all stop if Charles stripped them of any royalty.

Posted by: Valiant at January 12, 2023 03:39 PM (cy2xC)

22 10 Damn, we made a good call in 1776.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (/8W6s)

========

Maybe England would have been better off staying with House of Hanover.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 03:39 PM (LvTSG)

23 I'd like to comment on my oscillating penis but there's an ongoing investigation and I just can't comment specific details at this time.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (ZLI7S)

24 30 year old tricked JP Morgan into buying her fake company for $175 million. Then got upset when they figured out the scam and fired her (A job at the bank was part of her purchase deal).

I mean, why wouldn't you take the money and run? Why work for the company you just scammed?

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (/8W6s)

25 And now Harry gets frostbite from Meghan's mouth.

I denounce myself.

Posted by: Hands at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (786Ro)

26 Cat Ass Trophy for the win

Posted by: DanMan at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (DB6tu)

27 He's tied to her forever because of the kids he had with her.

Posted by: portlandon at January 12, 2023 03:38 PM (+oR7L)

I'm shocked. I assumed the harridan would refuse to have children in order to preserve her (giggle) "movie-star good looks."

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (xisCQ)

28 I don't think this was one of those circumstances where you put on a stiff upper lip and think of the Queen...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (ynpvh)

29 Biden's lawyers can't allow the FBI to search Biden's garage because they'll find an actual noose.

Posted by: Brisco County Sr at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (DBPIP)

30 Harry Markle: When I Applied The Cream to My Aching Penis, I Was Transported and Could Only Think of My Mum's Fragrant Lips

Wait why do you people have a problem with this?

Posted by: Joe Biden thinking of Ashley's cherry chapstick at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (lc5cP)

31 Dafuq?

Posted by: Elizabeth Arden at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (wnEfI)

32 Seriously, how do you get frostbite on your pecker unless you're waving around or wearing special chaps...

I grew up near Winnipeg, I know a little about frostbite, and that is the LAST part of your body to suffer when it's cold outside.

Posted by: Kevin Canuck at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (jSz/T)

33 I denounce myself.
Posted by: Hands at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (786Ro)

Don't. That was funny.

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (DRSnL)

34 24 30 year old tricked JP Morgan into buying her fake company for $175 million. Then got upset when they figured out the scam and fired her (A job at the bank was part of her purchase deal).

I mean, why wouldn't you take the money and run? Why work for the company you just scammed?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (/8W6s)

=======

Who at JP Morgan authorized the purchase?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (LvTSG)

35 Even Edward the Whatever had the decency to call it his Longshanks...not My Hugely Enormous Johnson.

The British Lion is full of mange. Sadly, again.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (Hb96K)

36 What would these people be like without the army of public relations specialists surrounding them?

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (qbRyg)

37 "todger"

The Limeys have the best euphemisms.

Posted by: Hands at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (786Ro)

38 "Not every stray thought needs be shared."

Harkle thinks it does.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (Mzdiz)

39 That is actually in the book? Geez Louise.

Posted by: Tuna at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (gLRfa)

40 The sun has set on the British Empire. Sadly.

The guy is now only fifth in line for the British throne.

He is no longer a spare.

King Charles will order that Harry and Meghan will be ignored by the Palace, and Meghan can end up hawking jewelry on the Home Shopping Network.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (2tUFv)

41 Not every stray thought needs be shared.
++++
Uhhh, have we met?

Posted by: Social Media at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (t0OGg)

42 Afternoon.

Willow'd:

516 482 476 This sounds intriguing. I've not had the fortitude to watch The Passion of Christ.
Posted by: Retired Buckeye Cop is now an engineer at January 12, 2023 03:33 PM (pJWtt)

Me neither.
Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 03:34 PM (DRSnL)

Same here.
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 12, 2023 03:35 PM (BTgKJ)

You should, it's pretty good. Gibson sticks pretty close to the Gospels, but I think the scene where a topless Monica Bellucci gets into a shootout with the Romans and the Sanhedrin was a little gratuitous.
Posted by: Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14 at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (bqVoB)

Posted by: Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14 at January 12, 2023 03:42 PM (bqVoB)

43 Now that's some fine literature right there. Shakespearean even.

As I said last night when Commenter helpfully put a link to this in the comments, I'm with the meme that says "Spare Us."

Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 03:42 PM (pTb/Z)

44 I see what you're doing to that girl! I wish I was there!

Posted by: Susan's Doll that Looks Like George's Mom at January 12, 2023 03:42 PM (Lavx8)

45 Thanks to Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14.

Kids' names these days!

Posted by: spindrift at January 12, 2023 03:42 PM (h5TKJ)

46 Dafuq?!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 03:42 PM (Wnv9h)

47 That boy ain't right.

Posted by: Hank Hill at January 12, 2023 03:42 PM (786Ro)

48 I'm shocked. I assumed the harridan would refuse to have children in order to preserve her (giggle) "movie-star good looks."
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (xisCQ)

No way. The day they got married I told husband she was going to get knocked up as soon as possible. She wants to be an annoyance to the RF forever.

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 03:42 PM (DRSnL)

49 What's that? A member of the Schleswig-Holstein Sonderburg Glucksburg Saxe-Coburg and Gotha is a fucked up pratt?

Didn't see that coming.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (XF9Gj)

50 The poster child for the dangers of inbreeding.

Posted by: ShainS -- Ctrl+Galt+Delete to remove the The Great Reset malware virus at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (RPTXN)

51 "Todger"? That's a new one on me. I thought I was kinda up on Brit slang. Or maybe that's a Royal Army term?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (J2vNu)

52 Mr Markle and her princess to be live within 10 miles of me and that is far too close.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (u4CEu)

53 Well, this is quite appropriate ace, since this is KISS A GINGER DAY

Posted by: redridinghood at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (NpAcC)

54 They're cashing in while they can. The modern world has a very short attention span.

https://youtu.be/qbmWs6Jf5dc

Posted by: Puddleglum at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (sAmhv)

55 What a bold and courageous man. Breaking down the stigma of soldiers who use lotion on their penis. Hopefully, the next soldier who thinks about applying lotion to his penis won't hesitate because Harry made it okay.

Good for you, Harry. Saying what needs to be said. This is a high-water mark for masculinity and the Royal Family.

Jergenus Phallus!

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (lf83v)

56 The chaps with his unit took to calling him Harry Balczak.

Posted by: Roy at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (O4PVb)

57 I found a tube... and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time I felt as if my mother was right there in the room... And I took a smidge and applied it down there.
++++
This is super-weird, right? I mean, different standards aren't in play just because they guy's a royal poofter married to a Hollywood whore, right? Like, objectively, this is weird, right?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (t0OGg)

58 Are people really buying this book? Cause I have heard all that I need from it to continuing ignoring/despising harry and meaghan.

Posted by: Iris at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (NaH5I)

59 37 "todger"

The Limeys have the best euphemisms.

Posted by: Hands at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (786Ro)

There's also pizzle, which, since most men can piss out of it, makes sense.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (ynpvh)

60 Harry's teaming up with Gwyneth Paltrow to sell a line of Oscillating Penis Candles.

Posted by: Hands at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (786Ro)

61 Todger? That's a new one on me. Anyway, these guy has problems. Real problems. No wonder he was so easily manipulated by that fame-seeking ho.

Posted by: Lady in Black at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (sVtYq)

62 54 They're cashing in while they can. The modern world has a very short attention span.

https://youtu.be/qbmWs6Jf5dc
Posted by: Puddleglum at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (sAmhv)

=========

I believe her podcast had really poor stats. I seriously doubt this book sells that well.

This is welfare for the rich and famous.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (LvTSG)

63 I think this is a fair question at this point: which pair of his mum's lips is he referring to?

Posted by: Citizen Cake at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (CwhoI)

64 Mother shaped hole. Snort. Better than fartclam

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (CVCe+)

65 When Harry first started to go around the bend with Markle, I always thought that his had to do with his mother. He has a lot of anger regarding his mother's death and that has reared its head against the royal family and the media. He blames them as if they were driving the vehicle his mom died in. He needed grief therapy before Markle got her talons in him. Maybe too late now.

Posted by: Cheri at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (oiNtH)

66 How did this strong, self-possessed man become an easy mark for a predatory narcissist with a talent for manipulating weak, needy men with mother-shaped holes in their middles?, asked literally no one.

Poetry, ace.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (Wnv9h)

67 Please, *please* tell me that he narrates his own audiobook.

Lie if you have to.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (t0OGg)

68 There's also pizzle, which, since most men can piss out of it, makes sense.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (ynpvh)

Knob

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (UuD2k)

69
Who at JP Morgan authorized the purchase?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood

__________

Some Wharton MBA?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (MoZTd)

70 A terrible woman is poison but this guy was a mental case from the get-go. I don't give a shit if he was in Afghanistan, there is something weak and pathetic about him.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (DcKNO)

71 The Los Angeles Todgers play in Hollywood.

Posted by: Roy at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (O4PVb)

72 67 Please, *please* tell me that he narrates his own audiobook.

Lie if you have to.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (t0OGg)

=======

In the tweet, you can see, "Narrated by the author."

So, I guess the ghost author reads it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (LvTSG)

73 Sad what he has become. The eventual divorce will be messy and expensive

Posted by: JM in Fla/Ill at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (m2lIk)

74 The Freezing of Harry's Penis v the War of Jenkins Ear , class you must compare and contrast

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (dHzaG)

75 I knew a guy who had a fly tattooed on the head of his pecker. This is something I would have never thought to do. BTW - dealing with your cock and thinking of your mother is hideous.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (C7jzY)

76 Royalty needs to be seen and not heard

Posted by: Skip at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (xhxe8)

77 And by the way, why TF does he have Elizabeth Arden cream in the middle of Afghanistan?

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (DRSnL)

78 This is my candle, and my mother's breath is the wind. Elton, could you be a dear and add another verse.

Posted by: Harry Markle at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (qbRyg)

79 I'm laughing so hard reading these comments people at work are staring.

Posted by: Archer at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (gmo/4)

80 30 year old tricked JP Morgan into buying her fake company for $175 million. Then got upset when they figured out the scam and fired her (A job at the bank was part of her purchase deal).

I mean, why wouldn't you take the money and run? Why work for the company you just scammed?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (/8W6s)
++++
It worked, didn't it? Why derail the gravy train?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (t0OGg)

81 The sandpaper handjobs were the worst, before I got used to it!

Posted by: Harry at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (krQz2)

82 I saw Oscillating Penis open for 10CC at the Gorge in '82.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (XlE1Z)

83 Is it pronounced "taw-dger," or "toe-dger"?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (J2vNu)

84 48 I'm shocked. I assumed the harridan would refuse to have children in order to preserve her (giggle) "movie-star good looks."
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (xisCQ)

No way. The day they got married I told husband she was going to get knocked up as soon as possible. She wants to be an annoyance to the RF forever.

in a hundred years there'll be a miniseries about her. she'll be the anne boleyn of the naughties. they'll race-swap her to martian, though.

Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (v3pYe)

85
Now do the part where his used to be favorite sock complains that "you never come to play with me anymore".

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (pNxlR)

86 I'm pretty sure "Oscillating Todgers" is an 80's Brit punk band.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (CwhoI)

87 Sounds like Tank Abrams is his ghost writer.

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (QDZBH)

88 4
Don't take Oscillating Penis if you are allergic to Oscillating Penis

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 12, 2023 03:36 PM (pNxlR)
----
Is it okay if it's rotating?

Posted by: Ciampino - handsome has no brains ever at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (qfLjt)

89 All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

Posted by: Chuck C at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (xttsV)

90 So, mum's upper lip was stiff.

Posted by: Just Sayin' at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (xzvCx)

91 Harry's a chip off the odd block.

Posted by: mrp at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (rj6Yv)

92 It took him 5 to 8 minutes every night to rub the cream in while dreaming of dear old mumsie.

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (CVCe+)

93 No way. The day they got married I told husband she was going to get knocked up as soon as possible. She wants to be an annoyance to the RF forever.
Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 03:42 PM (DRSnL)

I'm not devious enough, it seems.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (xisCQ)

94 "todger"

The Limeys have the best euphemisms.
_____________

Yes. They sure spend a lot of mental energy coming up for various words for genitalia -- mental energy that would be better spent figuring out how not to be a nation of pussies.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (lf83v)

95 This makes no sense, if you get frostbite there's no cream that saves it. Your shit is dead. You need a hospital to cut off the dead parts.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (UuD2k)

96 In the tweet, you can see, "Narrated by the author."

So, I guess the ghost author reads it.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (LvTSG)
++++
Ah, I have JavaScript disabled on mu.nu to avoid slowdowns, so I only see the text of tweets unless I click through.

This is wonderful news. The mincing ponce reading his creepy, cucked-out, freudian mindthoughts in his own voice. Delightful.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (t0OGg)

97 Did he tell the story of when his mates changed his moisturizing cream with Icey-Hot?

Oh, we almost had a whole squad die from laughing.

Posted by: Windsor's Battle Buddies at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (2waQ7)

98
OK that's weird.

Honestly, I think Harry is mildly retarded. Not seriously mentally impaired like his dad, mind you - the infusion of commoner blood certainly helped - but he's *not* all there.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (oINRc)

99 Okay, now I've actually read the content and I can't stop laughing.

In all my years of commenting here my biggest contribution to the blog is a post about Prince Harry's dick and a plug for the new Metallica album.

Posted by: Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14 at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (bqVoB)

100 From Monty Python's Meaning of Life:

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come about

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (BTgKJ)

101 Why are the English saddled with the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha? Can't they find a Stewart to run things?

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (yQpMk)

102 67-
He does. And it makes it even creepier. He speaks in a sort of weird whisper voice. Not Biden whisper weird, but weird.

Posted by: Ktgreat at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (ei7q6)

103 Not every stray thought needs be shared.
++++
Uhhh, have we met?

Posted by: Social Media at January 12, 2023 03:41 PM (t0OGg)

--------

Social Media + Narcissistic Age = Self-Humiliation as Part of The Kink

Posted by: ShainS -- Ctrl+Galt+Delete to remove the The Great Reset malware virus at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (RPTXN)

104 Is it pronounced "taw-dger," or "toe-dger"?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (J2vNu)
++++
The first one

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (t0OGg)

105 He applied the cream. And applied it again. And again, and again, and again. He had to, it kept rubbing off.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (tkR6S)

106 I think Oscillating Penis was one of the games Paul Pelosi and Dave DePape were playing....

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (PiwSw)

107 You know what's shitty (besides everything)? This rich twat sold out his country and family for MORE money.

And his perpetrating this racism bullshit for his bitch wife is a dick move he can't recover from.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (DcKNO)

108 You're all worthless and weak! Drop and give me twenty!

Posted by: Doug Niedermeyer at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (XlE1Z)

109 Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick, this guy is frigging nuts.

He needs to apply extra-strength ShutTheFuckUp to his blabbering orifices.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (wtvvX)

110 Harry is not a brilliant man. He used to be fun at least.

I wonder if William is laugh crying at this gem.

Posted by: Piper at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (ZdaMQ)

111
Please, *please* tell me that he narrates his own audiobook.

Lie if you have to.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!)

He does ... give it a listen

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (pNxlR)

112 Also, I would like to acknowledge how damned funny it is that Ace calls him "Harry Markle." It's simple, it's direct, it's emasculating and it's humiliating all in one shot.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (t0OGg)

113 This Harry-guy is my kinda Prince!

Posted by: Oedipus at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (JCZqz)

114 but I think the scene where a topless Monica Bellucci gets into a shootout with the Romans and the Sanhedrin was a little gratuitous.

Posted by: Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14 at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (bqVoB)
Posted by: Robert - Metallica,
---
Now now. Leave some room for artistic expression.

Posted by: Harry at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (krQz2)

115 >>>Did he tell the story of when his mates changed his moisturizing cream with Icey-Hot?

That also reminded of his mother's orifices, oddly enough.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (CwhoI)

116 7 She'd urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream.
My mum used that on her lips.

You want me to put that on my todger?

It works, Harry. Trust me

How would she know what works best on a frostbitten penis?

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:37 PM (/8W6s)
----
See, 'she' used to be a 'he' until frostbite of the spear caused it to fall off.

Posted by: Ciampino -- handsome has no brains ever at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (qfLjt)

117 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (Zz0t1)

118 IM NOT JERKIN THE GHURKA!

Posted by: Harry at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (CVCe+)

119 89 All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

Posted by: Chuck C at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (xttsV)

Meghan's younger, isn't as annoying singing, so those are pluses.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (ynpvh)

120 Sad what he has become. The eventual divorce will be messy and expensive
Posted by: JM in Fla/Ill

==================

This will make Johnny Depp - Amber Heard look petty.

Posted by: rd at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (25IFf)

121 Honestly, I think Harry is mildly retarded. Not seriously mentally impaired like his dad, mind you - the infusion of commoner blood certainly helped - but he's *not* all there.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (oINRc)

------

I sincerely agree.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (DcKNO)

122 In all my years of commenting here my biggest contribution to the blog is a post about Prince Harry's dick and a plug for the new Metallica album.
Posted by: Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14 at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (bqVoB)
----------

You dreamt big and it paid off. Your work here is fine.

Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (pTb/Z)

123 Harry Styles shit my pants.

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (Vu7A1)

124 When Harry was younger - five years ago or so - he seemed very down to Earth. I don't know if Markel destroyed him or he did it himself. Either way, he makes William look like Connor McGregor.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (VWp7G)

125 Charles Dickens had a lot of kids.

He obviously had an artful todger.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (L9MMZ)

126 Of all the great Americans and Brits who served in Afghanistan the two in the news are Prince Harry and Secretary Butt. Top men

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (dHzaG)

127 Is it pronounced "taw-dger," or "toe-dger"?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM

The first one.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (Wnv9h)

128 We need a complete audit of the DoD to find out exactly what the troops were actually doing all that time in Afghanistan. If the British troops were getting frostbite on their peckers what were our troops doing?

Posted by: lowandslow at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (qH6FZ)

129 Harry should'a stolen a note from the very Afghanis he was there to "protect".

They keep their dick warm by sticking it into a goat. Or sheep. Or infidel woman. Or mujahateen boy.

I suppose though that he's happy to still have any dick at all. 'Cause his wife sure has his balls.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (e6UQI)

130 Well, at least he didn't conflate things and say, "my mom's dick".

Posted by: Marcus T at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (L9/32)

131 He does. And it makes it even creepier. He speaks in a sort of weird whisper voice. Not Biden whisper weird, but weird.
Posted by: Ktgreat at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (ei7q6)
++++
Oh man. It will be the greatest thing since Gilbert Gottfried read selected passages from "50 Shades of Grey."

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (t0OGg)

132 Done. Your work here is done. Like my phone. DONE.

Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (pTb/Z)

133 98
OK that's weird.

Honestly, I think Harry is mildly retarded. Not seriously mentally impaired like his dad, mind you - the infusion of commoner blood certainly helped - but he's *not* all there.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

It's been mentioned already but inbreeding has drawbacks.

Posted by: Puddleglum at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (sAmhv)

134 95 This makes no sense, if you get frostbite there's no cream that saves it. Your shit is dead. You need a hospital to cut off the dead parts.
------------------
Imma thinking he was using the cream to wank off and then it froze.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (C7jzY)

135
This rich twat sold out his country and family for MORE money.

------

I don't think it's money.

I think he's a mildly retarded inbreed who was turned into a cuckpuppet by a soulless American whore.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (oINRc)

136 Elizabeth Arden has a Kaboul outlet?

Posted by: CN at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (Zzbjj)

137 This red-headed todger better hope King Chuck lives a long time. I have to imagine that his royal tethers, and all that that implies, are going to be cut toot sweet once William becomes king.

Posted by: Lady in Black at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (sVtYq)

138 Look, Harry Formerly Known As Prince, I might be able to apply lotion to my dick while thinking of Princess Diana but you can't!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter 2023 at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (FVME7)

139 94 "todger"

The Limeys have the best euphemisms.
_____________

Yes. They sure spend a lot of mental energy coming up for various words for genitalia -- mental energy that would be better spent figuring out how not to be a nation of pussies.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (lf83v)

Quims, dear old chap.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (ynpvh)

140 Of all the great Americans and Brits who served in Afghanistan the two in the news are Prince Harry and Secretary Butt. Top men
Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM

Not sure Pete's a "top" man, just sayin'.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (Wnv9h)

141 And his perpetrating this racism bullshit for his bitch wife is a dick move he can't recover from.
Posted by: Seems Legit at

His wife never cried the blues about racism until it was advantageous to her. In fact, she ignored her ancestry. Wonder how her poor mom felt about that?

Posted by: Piper at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (ZdaMQ)

142 Sheesh...I can't even...

Posted by: Diogenes at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (anj39)

143 Is it pronounced "taw-dger," or "toe-dger"?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (J2vNu)
++++
The first one
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (t0OGg)
---
I'm pretty sure it's more tah-dger, definitely more of the ah o sound then the ow sound.

Posted by: Harry at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (krQz2)

144 Detachable Penis >>> Oscillating Penis

Posted by: Tex Lovera at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (wtvvX)

145 Paul Massaro, US government employee, and pro-Ukraine fanatic, is very, very upset with Germany.

You see, a number of European countries have bought Leopard tanks from Germany, and want to give some of them to Ukraine.

When they bought the tanks from Germany, they signed an agreement saying that they would not transfer the tanks to a third party without German permission. Germany is being very hesitant about allowing the Leopards to be transferred to Ukraine.

Can't imagine why Germany would be hesitant about taking escalatory actions that would increase the risk of war with Russia.

After all, what could happen?

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (2tUFv)

146 And yet, many say it is I who is the family retard.

Posted by: King Charles at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (sWM8x)

147 It wasn't Elizabeth Arden, it was Preparation H

Posted by: wth at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (v0R5T)

148 I admire her gumption, 4 million fake gmail accounts takes a bit of time.

The lawsuit claims that Javice pitched the bank on the "lie" that over 4 million users had signed up to use Frank to apply for federal aid. When the bank asked for proof during due diligence, Javice allegedly fabricated an enormous list of "fake customers – a list of names, addresses, dates of birth, and other personal information for 4.265 million ‘students’ who did not actually exist."

In reality, Frank had less than 300,000 customer accounts at the time, according to the lawsuit.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (/8W6s)

149 He said the only reason they conceived him was replacement parts for William.

Think Willie picked on him when they were kids?

Posted by: Braenyard's phone at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (iXc7l)

150 His dick wasn't cold in that Las Vegas hotel room that TMZ posted.

Posted by: olddog in mo at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (ju2Fy)

151 >>>Sad what he has become. The eventual divorce will be messy and expensive
Posted by: JM in Fla/Ill

I remember he was dating an athlete - possibly an Olympian prospect - and she was gorgeous, pleasant, and sane. He dropped that girl for Meghan Markle.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (VWp7G)

152 My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive... and borderline traumatized.

Desert sand makes a poor lube, Harry.

BONUS! Where'd he get Elizabeth Arden Cream in Frostbitistan?

I'm calling ~~Fake~~ Weirdo Perv News.

Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (KLPy8)

153 This makes no sense, if you get frostbite there's no cream that saves it. Your shit is dead.
_________

Forget it, he's rolling.

Posted by: Boon, Delta House at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (lf83v)

154 133 long term hallucinogen use

Posted by: CN at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (Zzbjj)

155 but I think the scene where a topless Monica Bellucci gets into a shootout with the Romans and the Sanhedrin was a little gratuitous.

Posted by: Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14 at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (bqVoB)
Posted by: Robert - Metallica,
---
Now now. Leave some room for artistic expression.
Posted by: Harry at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (krQz2)

==============

But what did you think of the Volcano?

Posted by: rd at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (25IFf)

156 How did this female friend know the salve for a frozen todger is Elizabeth Arden cream? Seems like an odd factoid. Is it in the Elizabeth Arden ads?

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (aXxgO)

157
All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle
Posted by: Chuck C at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (xttsV)

__________

3. Wallis Simpson

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (MoZTd)

158 Stop the crazy train. I want off.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (RH1Zb)

159 >>>All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

Yoko never fully emasculated John or turned him into a submissive gimp. So Megan takes the prize.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (CwhoI)

160

VELCRO! THAT'S IT!!! VELCRO!

Posted by: John Fetterman at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (vwCZJ)

161 As far as I've seen, "todger" is usually used with "tiny".

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (krQz2)

162 Lisa Marie Presley suffers cardiac arrest in home, CPR and on to the hospital.

Critical condition.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (Zz0t1)

163 Can't they find a Stewart to run things?
Posted by: G'rump928(c)

Too ~~jewish]/s] catholic.~~

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (XF9Gj)

164 I liked the frosty penguin.

Shake mentholated gold bond powder in your boxers on hot days in the desert.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (/8W6s)

165 Its just me - but I think Harry has some Daddy issues.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (C7jzY)

166 Can't imagine why Germany would be hesitant about taking escalatory actions that would increase the risk of war with Russia.

After all, what could happen?
Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (2tUFv)

That is weird. They never seemed worried about starting wars with Russia before.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (UuD2k)

167 112 Also, I would like to acknowledge how damned funny it is that Ace calls him "Harry Markle." It's simple, it's direct, it's emasculating and it's humiliating all in one shot.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM

My grandma had a hairy markle on her foot, I think. Doc had to freeze it off, as I recall.

Posted by: Clueless Moron at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (JCZqz)

168
You know that line, "You can tie it in a knot, you can tie it in a bow?"

You can't. Believe me ... I tried.

-- "Spare Me", as read by the Ginger Doofus

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (pNxlR)

169 "Todger"? That's a new one on me. I thought I was kinda up on Brit slang. Or maybe that's a Royal Army term?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (J2vNu)

The Army isn't "Royal". The Navy and the Air Force are.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (tkR6S)

170 "I found a tube... and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time I felt as if my mother was right there in the room... And I took a smidge and applied it down there."

I'm getting a creepy incest fantasy vibe from this.

Posted by: redridinghood at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (NpAcC)

171 Ah, yeah, rhymes with "Rodger".

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (krQz2)

172 Prince Harry: The Artful Todger

Posted by: Tex Lovera at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (wtvvX)

173 Shaved nuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your dick

Posted by: Retard Harry's "An Afstan Christmas" available now! at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (h5TKJ)

174 This fella needs to go away already.

His shit has gotten stale very fast.

Also, he needs to get a vasectomy...for the chirruns.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (+YIje)

175 I think we should horde source the book title for the sequel.

Posted by: Beartooth at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (PX01u)

176 If the British troops were getting frostbite on their peckers what were our troops doing?
Posted by: lowandslow at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (qH6FZ)

Daring them to touch their dicks to the freezing flag pole.

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (qbRyg)

177 When Harry was younger - five years ago or so - he seemed very down to Earth. I don't know if Markel destroyed him or he did it himself. Either way, he makes William look like Connor McGregor.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (VWp7G)
++++
There's a parallel. It's kinda distant, but it's there: Colin Kapernick. He was a decent, middle-of-the-road quarterback who would have a decently long career. Then he met a crazy woke chick and went full retard and self-destructed in a blaze of offensiveness and nastiness and false accusations that made even the *very* accommodating NFL part ways with him.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (t0OGg)

178 48 I'm shocked. I assumed the harridan would refuse to have children in order to preserve her (giggle) "movie-star good looks."
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at January 12, 2023 03:40 PM (xisCQ)

No way. The day they got married I told husband she was going to get knocked up as soon as possible. She wants to be an annoyance to the RF forever.

------------------

yeah, that was the safe bet and clever but her personality was so poisonous she managed to screw it up. Plenty of other royal embarrassments get a castle, title and remittance checks to stay away and shut up.

That would be much more profitable than her current level of hucksterism to make a buck.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 03:52 PM (eoQWY)

179 I am sure that every Brit and American who served in Iraq/Afghanistan and returned with traumatic brain injuries, PTSD, missing limbs, etc. will be very touched by the traumas of Harry. Wanker.

Posted by: Cheri at January 12, 2023 03:52 PM (oiNtH)

180 Will todger now enter the Horde Lexicon? Might it make it to the Bigs, i.e. The Style Guide?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at January 12, 2023 03:52 PM (a3Q+t)

181 130 Well, at least he didn't conflate things and say, "my mom's dick".
Posted by: Marcus T at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (L9/32)

I mean they're not Kardashians. The Kardashians are savvy enough to monetize the freak show far more effectively.

They aspire to be Kardashians and come up short.

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at January 12, 2023 03:52 PM (cupoy)

182 Why does a bunch of Army guys in war zone have a tube of girls cream in the 1st place?

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 03:52 PM (UuD2k)

183 So Prince Hairy in a can?

Will he badger the bishop?

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 12, 2023 03:52 PM (0W4eA)

184 QEII is going to emerge from the grave and scream "Harry no one cares about your John Thomas "

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 03:52 PM (dHzaG)

185
Gotta give those Elizabeth Arden folks credit for aggressive product placement!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 12, 2023 03:52 PM (pNxlR)

186 Why are the English saddled with the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha? Can't they find a Stewart to run things?
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (yQpMk)
----------
The current Jacobite pretender is the Duke of Bavaria.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (XlE1Z)

187 I want to snifff his Megan Rapinoe broad.

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (Vu7A1)

188 >>>Think Willie picked on him when they were kids?

Posted by: Braenyard's phone

Probably does now. Wills has a gorgeous and not insane bride, while he is languishing in Hollywood waiting for Meghan to open up an Only Fans account.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (VWp7G)

189 Is it in the Elizabeth Arden ads?

--

"Replenishes that youthful moisture, leaves skin glowing and helps cure frozen peen."

Posted by: Lady in Black at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (sVtYq)

190 95 This makes no sense, if you get frostbite there's no cream that saves it. Your shit is dead. You need a hospital to cut off the dead parts.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 03:46 PM (UuD2k)

You don't have to tell us!

Posted by: What remains of Beck Weathers face and hands, after being left for dead on the South Col of Everest, at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (AMIL/)

191 Old and busted: Richard the Lionhearted.

New and cool: Harry the Pussyminded.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter 2023 at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (FVME7)

192 Vicks Vapor Rub cures everything.

Posted by: redridinghood at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (NpAcC)

193 characteristic of frostbite is the flesh is black. So Harry talks about his BBC on BBC?

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (OgrpQ)

194 This tome will be the book on display in K-12 school everywhere.

Posted by: torabora at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (OUiUM)

195 There's a parallel. It's kinda distant, but it's there: Colin Kapernick. He was a decent, middle-of-the-road quarterback who would have a decently long career. Then he met a crazy woke chick and went full retard and self-destructed in a blaze of offensiveness and nastiness and false accusations that made even the *very* accommodating NFL part ways with him.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:51 PM (t0OGg)

yeah, there's only one rule for a backup QB. Be nice, smile a lot and don't make waves for the team.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (eoQWY)

196 This is epic. This is up there with Henry IV's St. Crispin's Day/Band of Brothers Speech and King George VI's speech about World War II despite his stammer.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (lf83v)

197 I soak todger in cider. warms it right up

Posted by: Eddie at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (og5mY)

198 The eventual divorce will be messy and expensive

I gave up my incredibly lucrative and promising career as an actress for him!

Posted by: Just Another D-List Actress! at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (2tUFv)

199 It's been mentioned already but inbreeding has drawbacks.
Posted by: Puddleglum at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM

CPT Blackadder: George, your family is so inbred that somewhere outside Safrron-Waldon there's an uncle with no chin and an Adam's apple that makes him look like he's constantly trying to swallow a ballcock.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (Wnv9h)

200
This is seriously fucked up, the wiener cream/mom fantasy part, but I can't blame the guy for missing Diana... she had her flaws, but she was beautiful and by most accounts a nice person. The rest of his family are inbred lizard people who act as a living museum.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (oINRc)

201 I get where Harry is coming from here. When I fuck a jar of mayonnaise, I cannot help but think of all the sandwiches my dear mother made for my school lunches. "No crusts, mummy. Extra mayo."

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (ppBhU)

202 >>> I want to snifff his Megan Rapinoe broad.
Posted by: Joe Biden

She smells like beef and cheese.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (VWp7G)

203 Why are the English saddled with the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha? Can't they find a Stewart to run things?
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (yQpMk)

That's what I said! But did anyone listen? Nooooo....

Serves you tossers right!

Posted by: Zombie Bonnie Prince Charlie at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (BTgKJ)

204 So a member of the royal family and its member have never heard of long underwear? No sane male is going to allow his penis to get frostbitten. Come on, WTF did this guy serve exactly? Shit put a glove or extra sock around it.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (DcKNO)

205 Wyatt Earp: "I remember he was dating an athlete - possibly an Olympian prospect - and she was gorgeous, pleasant, and sane. He dropped that girl for Meghan Markle."

Never stick your d*** in crazy. As a royal, he had to have been aware of that considering royal bloodlines. And extra never stick it in Hollywood crazy.

Probably no royal has stepped on as many rakes as Harry at such a young age.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (aXxgO)

206 There are some things that should never touch a dick. Ever.

Harry's hands are one of them.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (Q4IgG)

207 Probably does now. Wills has a gorgeous and not insane bride, while he is languishing in Hollywood waiting for Meghan to open up an Only Fans account.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:53 PM (VWp7G)

Well there is the dog-bowl fight in the book

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (eoQWY)

208 77 And by the way, why TF does he have Elizabeth Arden cream in the middle of Afghanistan?

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 03:45 PM (DRSnL)
----
It may come as a surprise to you but we have allowed women into our armed forces for some time now. Fun and sexual toys for the enemy when they capture one of them.

Posted by: Ciampino - twits at the Pentagon at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (qfLjt)

209 BoJo was a good PM until he met his woke girlfriend. Pooter is a hell of a drug. It changes a man.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (/8W6s)

210 Paul Massaro, US government employee, and pro-Ukraine fanatic, is very, very upset with Germany.

You see, a number of European countries have bought Leopard tanks from Germany, and want to give some of them to Ukraine.

When they bought the tanks from Germany, they signed an agreement saying that they would not transfer the tanks to a third party without German permission. Germany is being very hesitant about allowing the Leopards to be transferred to Ukraine.

Can't imagine why Germany would be hesitant about taking escalatory actions that would increase the risk of war with Russia.

After all, what could happen?
Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (2tUFv)

====================

One thing we know that WILL NOT Happen.

Russia will not blow up the Nord Stream Pipelines. Guaranteed!

Posted by: rd at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (25IFf)

211 characteristic of frostbite is the flesh is black.
___________

So, Meghan Markle has frostbite?

Posted by: John Fetterman, The Fetterman Center of Excellense at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (lf83v)

212 I admire her gumption, 4 million fake gmail accounts takes a bit of time.

The lawsuit claims that Javice pitched the bank on the "lie" that over 4 million users had signed up to use Frank to apply for federal aid. When the bank asked for proof during due diligence, Javice allegedly fabricated an enormous list of "fake customers – a list of names, addresses, dates of birth, and other personal information for 4.265 million ‘students’ who did not actually exist." ...
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:49 PM (/8W6s)
++++
No chance she did that. This sounds to me like she bought a client list, possibly from a "dark web" operator. It's fairly common. Usually those lists are used by folks like the Indian call center scammers to rook people out of their money on car warranty and tech support scams, but she was smarter. She just used the data to get the money all at once and with way less work by just scamming bankers looking for unicorns.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (t0OGg)

213 If you served in the military between 2003 and 2019, and your dick withered from frostbite, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

Posted by: Infomercial Coming Soon at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (CwhoI)

214 I thought this happened on some charity walk in the North Pole and not Afghanistan? It was for wounded soldiers, maybe? He had mild pre frostbite on his nose, cheeks and apparently, you know, there. And was it really Elizabeth Arden? Because La Mer makes much more sense.

Either way, this is one of those times where just because the thought came into your head does not mean it needs to exit your mouth.

Posted by: Piper at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (ZdaMQ)

215 7 She'd urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream.
My mum used that on her lips...

Mr. Baruch, do you know if Ms. Heard applied Arden cream to her face?

Posted by: Elaine Bredehoft, desperately cross examing Isaac Baruch at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (JCZqz)

216 182 Why does a bunch of Army guys in war zone have a tube of girls cream in the 1st place?
--------------
Ummm, they are mostly teenagers and there's no hooker bars in a combat zone.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (C7jzY)

217 It puts the lotion on it's wanker
or you no more get a yanker.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (anj39)

218 His platoon mates prolly told him the face cream would protect him as a gag cause he had girls face cream....and they are still laughing cause now he's writing it in his memoir. Best joke evah!

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (CVCe+)

219 What an absolute freak... You are back in the family!

Posted by: King Chuck at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (CaJIi)

220 You know, I have never really had an issue with my dick getting frostbite... first. And I have taken a leak outside camping... So...

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (zZu0s)

221 Harry was always going to be an also ran.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (/8W6s)

222 We need town criers to report the news.
Maybe that O'Neill guy with the signs in Hagerstown could do it to every Karen complaining about his signs.

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (3byMq)

223 Did his editor/ghost writer ever stop and say"hmm...probably not a good idea to associate your dick, lotion, and your mum"?

Maybe TMI.

Posted by: RichJ at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (405Tk)

224 Lisa Marie was at the Golden Globes last night. Having a severe cardiac event in her home today. Drugs at the party or 'vaccine' doing it's thing?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (Zz0t1)

225 BoJo was a good PM until he met his woke girlfriend. Pooter is a hell of a drug. It changes a man.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Set the Earth to fire and reshape it closer to the heart's desire at

Word!

Posted by: Cahrles Hohnson at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (25IFf)

226 Never marry a girl named Wallis.

Posted by: Braenyard's phone at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (iXc7l)

227 Why are the English saddled with the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha? Can't they find a Stewart to run things?
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (yQpMk)

Jackie would whip those mewling sassenach into shape.

Posted by: spindrift at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (h5TKJ)

228 Then he met a crazy woke chick and went full retard and self-destructed

Colin Kapernick was a has-been quarterback who got tons of money from Nike as the spokesperson for "woke".

Considering that his career wasn't going anywhere, it was an astute business move.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (2tUFv)

229 Why does a bunch of Army guys in war zone have a tube of girls cream in the 1st place?

Gone native. The goats are more enthusiastic if you romance them a little.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (ppBhU)

230 Sock away!

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (BTgKJ)

231 ... And extra never stick it in Hollywood crazy. ...
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (aXxgO)
++++
This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: Amber Heard at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (t0OGg)

232 Harry is a fan of the Los Angeles Todgers.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, hoarder and wrecker at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (ou3RP)

233 >>>Never stick your d*** in crazy. As a royal, he had to have been aware of that considering royal bloodlines. And extra never stick it in Hollywood crazy.

Probably no royal has stepped on as many rakes as Harry at such a young age.
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna

Agreed. Had he married the athlete, he probably would be a much happier man. this wench is only out for the money. which they'll never receive.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (VWp7G)

234 She smells like beef and cheese.
_________

And sits on a throne of lies.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (lf83v)

235 wrong!

Posted by: rd at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (25IFf)

236 Oh, while I was in the Marines a lot of Marines were carrying 'Skin So Soft' lotion to repell the mosquitoes. Maybe Elizabeth Arden was preferred by the limeys for some reason?

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (C7jzY)

237
Of all the great Americans and Brits who served in Afghanistan the two in the news are Prince Harry and Secretary Butt. Top men
Posted by: Smell the Glove

Now see what you've done -- you made Lindsey Graham and David French cry!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (pNxlR)

238 It may come as a surprise to you but we have allowed women into our armed forces for some time now. Fun and sexual toys for the enemy when they capture one of them.
Posted by: Ciampino - twits at the Pentagon at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (qfLjt)

We have an entire regimental unit of Mary Kay distributors. Pink APCs and all.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (eoQWY)

239 Colin Kapernick was a has-been quarterback who got tons of money from Nike as the spokesperson for "woke".

Considering that his career wasn't going anywhere, it was an astute business move.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (2tUFv)
++++
It did pan out financially, but he was never a football player again.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (t0OGg)

240 Mum's Fragrant Lips opened for The Flaming Lips.

Posted by: Wildabout Harry at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (63Dwl)

241 Think of the poor Pashtuns. Thousands of them running around the countryside in man jammies without cream for their freezing woody.

Posted by: Marcus T at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (L9/32)

242 ...characteristic of frostbite is the flesh is black...

Quick, we need a flight to Siberia!

Posted by: Rachel Dolezal and Talcom X at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (JCZqz)

243 Meghan's younger, isn't as annoying singing, so those are pluses.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at January 12, 2023 03:48 PM (ynpvh)

But Yoko had a nice rack, back in the day, and seems to not be a complete asshole.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (tkR6S)

244 Do you know who I think of when applying lotion to my knob?
Your mom.

Posted by: RichJ at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (405Tk)

245 Unfortunately, this does not resolve whether Charles is his biological father. Behavior is explicable by both nature and nurture [Chaz' tampon comment].

Whatever, this guy needs help.

Posted by: Mr. Barky at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (jIaGU)

246 Wills should have just cold c*cked him, not push him to the floor.

I mean, in a nonviolent way, of course.

Posted by: Piper at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (ZdaMQ)

247 Good ole Car-Mella always refused to put Elizabeth Arden cream on my Todger...Said she didn't like the taste.

Posted by: WILLIE BROWN at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (jM1wU)

248 Agreed. Had he married the athlete, he probably would be a much happier man. this wench is only out for the money. which they'll never receive.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (VWp7G)
++++
Probably why she dropped the mask in public and made "turbo-powered hyperbitch" her public image.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (t0OGg)

249 >>>Lisa Marie was at the Golden Globes last night.

So nobody saw her last night?

Posted by: Citizen Cake at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (CwhoI)

250 Agreed. Had he married the athlete, he probably would be a much happier man. this wench is only out for the money. which they'll never receive.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 03:56 PM (VWp7G)

She's not very good at just being out for the money. Money is what they do have and are willing to dispense.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (eoQWY)

251 I think we're talking about Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream which is just fancy Vasoline.

Posted by: Tuna at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (gLRfa)

252 Think the closest Stewart to lay claim to the throne is quite happy living an Aussie lifestyle in the Outback.

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (0W4eA)

253 The Aristocrats!

Posted by: The rich are different at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (d2hQS)

254 I am sure that every Brit and American who served in Iraq/Afghanistan and returned with traumatic brain injuries, PTSD, missing limbs, etc. will be very touched by the traumas of Harry. Wanker.
Posted by: Cheri
___

*snort*

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (2Or5V)

255 Frued strikes again

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (NW9xb)

256 237 I don't think that's a high bar

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (dHzaG)

257 This guy and his oscillating penis are about to succeed where Hitler and his Messerschmitts failed.

Posted by: Caliban at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (ni2c1)

258 Wallis' name was Bessie

Posted by: CN at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (Zzbjj)

259 Did Ace mention that during a recent interview, he tried to walk back the comments about the royal family being racist?

He tried to blame it on the media.

He's a spineless prick.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (DcKNO)

260 Russia will not blow up the Nord Stream Pipelines. Guaranteed!

Yeah, the Germans may be a bit pissed about our blowing the Nordstream pipelines up, even if they are too polite to accuse us publicly.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (2tUFv)

261 She's not very good at just being out for the money. Money is what they do have and are willing to dispense.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (eoQWY)
++++
It's tied together. She really wanted, I suspect, to be a princess. She got neither.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (t0OGg)

262 Unfortunately, this does not resolve whether Charles is his biological father. Behavior is explicable by both nature and nurture [Chaz' tampon comment].

Whatever, this guy needs help.
Posted by: Mr. Barky at January

I saw a recent pic of them together, very same close set eyes. As Harry ages, he looks more like Charles. As Will ages, more like his mom. Kind of funny.

Posted by: Piper at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (ZdaMQ)

263 Never stick your d*** in crazy. As a royal, he had to have been aware of that considering royal bloodlines. And extra never stick it in Hollywood crazy.

Probably no royal has stepped on as many rakes as Harry at such a young age.
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna

As a royal, or any high profile, wealthy individual, I would tend to relax the "dip your stick in cray" rule. If you're in that group, you can dip it, however, DO NOT MARRY OR COURT IT. One and done.

This is where "wham bam thank you ma'am" comes into play.

This dip shit MARRIED the craziest BEEOTCH on the planet.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (Zz0t1)

264 Try to imagine Zombie Winston Churchill reading Harry's book

Posted by: JoeF. at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (mR6Gs)

265 This is the first presser in the 8 years of Obama and 2 years of Biden that is remotely contentious.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (ZLI7S)

266 It did pan out financially, but he was never a football player again.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (t0OGg)

There's still tryouts next spring!!!

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (eoQWY)

267 I've got few good seasons left in me.

Posted by: Aaron Todjers at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (og5mY)

268 Strong enough for a todger, but made for a woman.

Posted by: Elizabeth Arden Marketing at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (786Ro)

269
BoJo was a good PM until he met his woke girlfriend. Pooter is a hell of a drug. It changes a man.

------

Wrong.

I've dicked the Commie out of a couple of chicks. From actual Communist countries.

When you're banging someone, you sort of have to listen to them, whether you like it or not. So that's an advantage. You just hold the line and argue your viewpoint when they start blah-blahing about their dumbass Lefty stuff. Since they have to listen to you, and can't just disregard the opposing view for once, it's only a matter of time before they realize their arguments are indefensible.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (oINRc)

270 236 Oh, while I was in the Marines a lot of Marines were carrying 'Skin So Soft' lotion to repell the mosquitoes. Maybe Elizabeth Arden was preferred by the limeys for some reason?
Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (C7jzY)

Yeah, they sell that at all the stores and gas stations here that fishermen hit on their way out. Weird how it works better than stuff actually sold as mosquito repellant. Then again with our EPA its not that weird.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (Y5qcH)

271 262. He looks like a male Queen Mary

Posted by: CN at January 12, 2023 04:00 PM (Zzbjj)

272 Never stick your d*** in crazy.
---
Especially not in its undilute form!

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 04:00 PM (krQz2)

273 I see a red dick and I want it to be black.

Posted by: Mick Jagger at January 12, 2023 04:00 PM (FVME7)

274 All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

***
Anne Boleyn? She got her King Harry into a lot of trouble. True, it came back at her and she lost her head.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:00 PM (J2vNu)

275 I thought this happened on some charity walk in the North Pole and not Afghanistan? It was for wounded soldiers, maybe? He had mild pre frostbite on his nose, cheeks and apparently, you know, there...
____________
Some those things normally get frostbite because they're exposed to the elements.

Posted by: Kevin Canuck at January 12, 2023 04:00 PM (jSz/T)

276 Now’s the time for Charles to do the DNA test and, no matter the actual result, claim “not my kid” and wash his hands of those two grifters.

Posted by: EveR at January 12, 2023 04:00 PM (MUpk6)

277 The British Army needs to strip him of his A-stan medal and rank after this little revelation.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (lf83v)

278 Think the closest Stewart to lay claim to the throne is quite happy living an Aussie lifestyle in the Outback.
Posted by: Anna Puma at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (0W4eA)

What! A Jacobite Uprising in Australia!! Turn out the Northumbrians!!!

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (eoQWY)

279 "Did his editor/ghost writer ever stop and say"hmm...probably not a good idea to associate your dick, lotion, and your mum"?
Maybe TMI."
Posted by: RichJ at January 12, 2023 03:55 PM (405Tk)

You must be under the impression there are smart people handling stuff in the publishing world. They're no different than anyone else running things today, they're idiots.

Posted by: lowandslow at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (qH6FZ)

280 It's tied together. She really wanted, I suspect, to be a princess. She got neither.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM (t0OGg)

She will if KC takes their titles.

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (DRSnL)

281 It may come as a surprise to you but we have allowed women into our armed forces for some time now. Fun and sexual toys for the enemy when they capture one of them.
Posted by: Ciampino - twits at the Pentagon at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (qfLjt)
___

Yes, I was aware of this, often, when I was downrange.

A SAW, and the willingness to use it, came in handy.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (2Or5V)

282
So nobody saw her last night?
Posted by: Citizen Cake at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (CwhoI)

Average American, no. Winemom's, the doorman at the facility and the 50 celebs in attendance, yes.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (Zz0t1)

283 Update from Jane D'oh:

A CT scan this morning showed several small hematomas on Mr. D'oh's brain. His speech and memory are coming back, but he has no feeling or use of his right foot and leg, and only some feeling in his left hand and arm. Neurosurgeon has ordered an MRI of his brain which will take place this afternoon.

Please continue praying, of course. This is day 15 of his ordeal. Thank you.

Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (pTb/Z)

284 260 Russia will not blow up the Nord Stream Pipelines. Guaranteed!

Yeah, the Germans may be a bit pissed about our blowing the Nordstream pipelines up, even if they are too polite to accuse us publicly.

Can't use a gas stove if'n you ain't got gas

Posted by: Aaron Todjers at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (og5mY)

285 AHAHAHAHAHAH! Who's the conspiracist now??

Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.
Fox News

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (XF9Gj)

286 After Meghan Markle? After Wallis Simpson?

The British Parliament should pass a law that no British Royal is allowed to associate with any American Woman, under penalty of death.

American Women have done more to tarnish and destroy the myth of the British Royal Family than the most Egalitarian Communist of the British Labor Party.

Posted by: rd at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (25IFf)

287 I honestly have not heard the frozen wiener cream remedy before. And I've probably heard every remedy.

Posted by: Marcus T at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (L9/32)

288 Never stick your dick in crazy, even if it's well lotioned.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (Y5qcH)

289 Those secret documents in my house were left there by my Dad years ago.

So buzz off. I have to paint.

Posted by: Hunter Biden at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (OUiUM)

290 Harry and Megan- the Aristocrass

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (0W4eA)

291 Lisa Marie Presley suffers cardiac arrest in home, CPR and on to the hospital.

Critical condition.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (Zz0t1)

Vaxxed and boosted?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (tkR6S)

292 Agreed. Had he married the athlete, he probably would be a much happier man. this wench is only out for the money. which they'll never receive.

Yeah, she thought that Harry would get hundreds of millions of dollars, found out that wasn't true, and concocted a scheme to market "Sussex Royal" to generate the money that the Royal Family wasn't going to give them.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (2tUFv)

293
Harry!
stop DIGGING!
you've reached bottom, okay? There's no place else to go.

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (geLO8)

294 This is the first presser in the 8 years of Obama and 2 years of Biden that is remotely contentious.

Posted by: JackStraw
---------

I just heard someone make an outstanding point on the local nobody's radio show.

This is all a planned act to get ahead of the game. This allowed the FBI and other friendlies to access the China/Ukraine "personal" documents first and clean them up as needed.

Posted by: Now they're just f*cking with you- Ukraine Reveals End Date for War With Russia at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (IF3vp)

295
Part of me feels sorry for the guy. He had a gilded but miserable upbringing with parents who hated each other, a unfaithful media-crazed mother, an unfaithful stuck-up prat for a father.

He's also the spare of the heir and spare, which is a crummy position to be in, watching yourself sliding down the line of succession into irrelevance. The House of Windsor has a bad time in that respect. Princess Margaret was an alcoholic and Prince Andrew a dealer with shady characters and an Epstein client.

Maybe Harry would have turned out all right if he'd married some sensible, down-to-earth British girl. But no, he has to become infatuated with this American slag who thinks being a Duchess isn't enough for her accomplishments.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (MoZTd)

296 There were good reasons for fixed marriages between Royals, each side had a stake in it to work

Posted by: Skip at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (xhxe8)

297 Yeah, you assholes laugh about it. But, I was right there, I mean right there !

Posted by: The Royal Codpiece at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (sVE6f)

298 >>>Probably why she dropped the mask in public and made "turbo-powered hyperbitch" her public image.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!)

And immediately after, Charles banned from the coronation. Great work, Harry!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (bkUtD)

299 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (geLO8)

300 KJP is going to need some Blue Emu after this brutal attack on democracy.

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (3byMq)

301 Please continue praying, of course. This is day 15 of his ordeal. Thank you.
Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (pTb/Z)

Will do!

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (PiwSw)

302 Karine Jean Retard is in the process of repeatedly stepping on her lady penis right now on FOX

Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (flINI)

303 Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.

Not possible - the garage was locked.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (2tUFv)

304 Hank Johnson? Hank Johnson?? Do people really listen to anything that idiot has to say?

Planted documents??

Biden admitted he stored them there.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (DcKNO)

305 A pissed off black woman, in full battle rattle, with a machine gun kinda deters some guys from getting ideas.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (2Or5V)

306 name field test

Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and delete evidence at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (IF3vp)

307 I see a red dick and I want it to be black.

Posted by: Mick Jagger at January 12, 2023 04:00 PM (FVME7)

*shakes head sadly*

He was never the same after that "Dancing in the Streets" video.

Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (KLPy8)

308
Vaxxed and boosted?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (tkR6S)

My exact first question.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (Zz0t1)

309 285 AHAHAHAHAHAH! Who's the conspiracist now??

Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.
Fox News
Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (XF9Gj)

=========

"At long last! The only sane member of Congress finally speaks up and tell the TRUTH! It's obvious that the FBI is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Koch Brothers and are only out to advance anti-progressiveness wherever they go! That's why they let Trump off without executing him in the Oval Office!"
-The Democratic Underground, most definitely

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (LvTSG)

310 270 236 Oh, while I was in the Marines a lot of Marines were carrying 'Skin So Soft' lotion to repell the mosquitoes. Maybe Elizabeth Arden was preferred by the limeys for some reason?
Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 03:57 PM (C7jzY)

Yeah, they sell that at all the stores and gas stations here that fishermen hit on their way out. Weird how it works better than stuff actually sold as mosquito repellant. Then again with our EPA its not that weird.
------------------
Back then I think you could only buy from Avon sales lady. There was a whole rigamarole about acquiring it as I recall.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (C7jzY)

311 From Buckingham Palace to Prince Harry of the Frozen Cock: you are hereby invited to the coronation of your father Charles III "the tampon" and Queen Consort Camilla "the Rottweiler". Would you be so kind as to leave that evil bitch in the colonies. Sincerely , some ponce

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (dHzaG)

312 There were good reasons for fixed marriages between Royals, each side had a stake in it to work
Posted by: Skip at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (xhxe

Except for Henry and the "Fat German Cow" Anne of Cleves. She did get a nice house and not the axe though, so that's something.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (eoQWY)

313 All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

--

3. Jodi Arias

Posted by: Lady in Black at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (sVtYq)

314 299 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (geLO

At least Biden knows now how something so irresponsible could happen. He didn't know before. So he learned something today.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (Y5qcH)

315 Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (pTb/Z)

Appreciate the updates, Bluebell. Prayers continue.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (D+F6R)

316 Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.
__________

Yeah, Joe's homes and offices are crawling with MAGA types. I'm sure.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (lf83v)

317 Why does a bunch of Army guys in war zone have a tube of girls cream in the 1st place?

It is a bit of a testimony to the Army /Air Force Post Exchange system. I've been in some pretty remote places and those guys show up with all kinda of weird stuff.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (anj39)

318 Please continue praying, of course. This is day 15 of his ordeal. Thank you.
Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (pTb/Z)
*******
Definitely!
Thank you for the update.

Posted by: redridinghood at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (NpAcC)

319 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’

Posted by: DB

Oh, OK. Never mind, then.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (lTGtQ)

320 We gave to start calling Megan "Yoko Markle."

Posted by: JoeF. at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (mR6Gs)

321 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (geLO

Three different times at three different locations.

LOLGF, assholes.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (Zz0t1)

322 There were good reasons for fixed marriages between Royals, each side had a stake in it to work

Traditionally, royal marriages were also an instrument of international relations.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (2tUFv)

323 each side had a stake in it to work
Posted by: Skip
-------

Now, when you sat 'stake in it', what do you mean exactly?

Posted by: Camilla, the staked at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (g6tw6)

324 Never marry a girl named Wallis.
Posted by: Braenyard's phone at January 12, 2023

***
Which reminds me: Whatever happened to Shani Wallis?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (J2vNu)

325 "A pissed off black woman, in full battle rattle, with a machine gun kinda deters some guys from getting ideas.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (2Or5V)"

I'm strangely aroused. Ma'am. 😂

Posted by: Marcus T at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (L9/32)

326 ... Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted. ...
Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (XF9Gj)
++++
Of course they were. Trump loyalists in the Secret Service illegally pulled several years' worth of Biden travel logs and other data to determine reasonable drop points for the materials. Then they illegally pulled and printed era-appropriate classified documents on various hot-topic issues. Then they applied the correct amount of dust and the like to the documents to make them appear aged. Then they dispatched other Trump loyalist agents from with the Secret Service and other agencies - as well as hired guns from the private sector - to plant the documents into Biden's effects at various locations.

It's all so simple!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (t0OGg)

327 His remarks that William no longer resembles his Mother because he has lost his hair is a bizarre level of pettiness. The fact that he couldn't stop himself from smirking when Anderson Cooper read the passage to him was revealing.

Posted by: Ktgreat at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (ei7q6)

328 299 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
---------------
Well, that explains everything.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (C7jzY)

329

*shakes head sadly*

He was never the same after that "Dancing in the Streets" video.

Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (KLPy

Yeah.

What a fag!!!

Posted by: David Lee Roth at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (Zz0t1)

330 326 Of course they were. Trump loyalists in the Secret Service illegally pulled several years' worth of Biden travel logs and other data to determine reasonable drop points for the materials. Then they illegally pulled and printed era-appropriate classified documents on various hot-topic issues. Then they applied the correct amount of dust and the like to the documents to make them appear aged. Then they dispatched other Trump loyalist agents from with the Secret Service and other agencies - as well as hired guns from the private sector - to plant the documents into Biden's effects at various locations.

It's all so simple!
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (t0OGg)

========

Biden definitely didn't do it, and if he did it was a good thing.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (LvTSG)

331
Except for Henry and the "Fat German Cow" Anne of Cleves. She did get a nice house and not the axe though, so that's something.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (eoQWY)

She was a good egg who accepted her lot. Henry may not have wanted to be married to her, but he treated her well afterwards.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (MoZTd)

332 He's trying to write like a writer.

You have to be a writer to do that.

Posted by: eleven at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (t4fCu)

333 Oh, damn.

"was the corvette searched...?"

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (3byMq)

334 HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Who's the conspiracist now??

Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.
Fox News
Posted by: weft cut-loop
______________

Donald Trump did it! Trump moved the documents from Donald's secret stash of secret documents on Guam, because he was afraid the island was about to capsize.

Donald was so sneaky, he even changed the dates on the docs to 2015 and 2016.

Posted by: rd at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (25IFf)

335 68 There's also pizzle, which, since most men can piss out of it, makes sense.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (ynpvh)

Knob

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 03:44 PM (UuD2k)
----
He dabbed cream to the nob of his knob until he lobbed and sobbed.

Posted by: Ciampino - did he gob his nob while doing the job? at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (qfLjt)

336 >>White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’

That should work as well as "strenuously objecting".

There is no Oppsie Clause for national security document handling.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (ZLI7S)

337 The only thing that got me to watch the Golden Globes is when Ricky Gervais was hosting. Hilarious. After that, no thank you.

Posted by: Cheri at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (oiNtH)

338 236 Oh, while I was in the Marines a lot of Marines were carrying 'Skin So Soft' lotion to repell the mosquitoes...

Sure, and they had Kleenexes because of allergies, and extra socks that got crusty despite never being worn because they spilled something in their ruck...

Posted by: You're not fooling anyone at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (JCZqz)

339 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
-------

Heh. Hillary's emails 'inadvertently' erased.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (g6tw6)

340 >*shakes head sadly*

He was never the same after that "Dancing in the Streets" video.

Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (KLPy

Obligatory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHkhIjG0DKc

Posted by: Heavy Meta at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (NgqoH)

341 Please continue praying, of course. This is day 15 of his ordeal. Thank you.
Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 04:01
-----------------------

Prayers continuing for the D'oh family.

Posted by: olddog in mo at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (ju2Fy)

342 All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

--

3. Jodi Arias
Posted by: Lady in Black at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (sVtYq)

How does Amber Heard not rank in the top 3?

She. Shit. His. Bed.

Posted by: David Lee Roth at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (Zz0t1)

343 said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents

"Foul play"? Isn't that term usually used for murder? It was the Corvette in the garage with a candlestick that did it!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (D+F6R)

344 Oscillating Penis opened for Throwing Muses in '95, IIRC. The t shirt was awesome...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (bUGMk)

345 All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

--

3. Jodi Arias
Posted by: Lady in Black at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (sVtYq)

Wait a minute mate, I may have become a greasy hippie, but I never put lipstick on my todger!

Posted by: Zombie John Lennon at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (mR6Gs)

346 > Oh, while I was in the Marines a lot of Marines were carrying 'Skin So Soft' lotion to repell the mosquitoes.

the bugs don't like the perfume in it, so they don't touch down

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (geLO8)

347 The British Parliament should pass a law that no British Royal is allowed to associate with any American Woman, under penalty of death.

American Women have done more to tarnish and destroy the myth of the British Royal Family than the most Egalitarian Communist of the British Labor Party.
Posted by: rd at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (25IFf)

Americans all have a deep subconscious desire to see the British royal family destroyed. Not any other royal family, just the Brits.

But I have wondered why Parliament hasn't passed a law saying anyone marrying into the royal family must be a British subject. I mean it just kind of makes sense,

Posted by: Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14 at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (Oo9oa)

348 I want proof that Diana actually used Elizabeth Arden cream.

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (Kd4bG)

349 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
____________

Why didn't we think of that?

Posted by: The Rosenbergs at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (lf83v)

350 How does Amber Heard not rank in the top 3?

She. Shit. His. Bed.
Posted by: David Lee Roth at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (Zz0t1)

-------

hahahahahah

David's pissed about the shit.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (DcKNO)

351 Hey...did you guys here about that GOP nobody who lied about his whole life and got elected to Congress?

That's so much worse than this.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (LvTSG)

352 Prayers continuing for the D'oh family.
Posted by: olddog in mo at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (ju2Fy)
----------

Thank you, and how is your wife doing? I told Jane about her the other day (same day you posted) and she said she would pray for her. I hope she is feeling better.

Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (pTb/Z)

353 Maybe Harry would have turned out all right if he'd married some sensible, down-to-earth British girl. But no, he has to become infatuated with this American slag who thinks being a Duchess isn't enough for her accomplishments.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (MoZTd)

Can't help but wonder if its all passive aggressive from Harry. You'd think even the most doormatty hubby would be able to do some mid-course diplomacy on one side or the other to tamp down this disaster.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (eoQWY)

354 Strong enough for a todger, but made for a woman.
Posted by: Elizabeth Arden Marketing at January 12, 2023 03:59 PM

*snort*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (Wnv9h)

355 Prayers up for the D'oh family!

Posted by: Just Lily at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (vivhj)

356 Oscillating Penis sounds like a title of a Smiths or Morrissey album

Posted by: JoeF. at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (mR6Gs)

357 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (geLO

So what happens when documents are advertently placed?

Posted by: Diogenes at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (anj39)

358 His remarks that William no longer resembles his Mother because he has lost his hair is a bizarre level of pettiness. The fact that he couldn't stop himself from smirking when Anderson Cooper read the passage to him was revealing.
Posted by: Ktgreat at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (ei7q6)

He DOES know he's balding too, right?

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (DRSnL)

359 347 Americans all have a deep subconscious desire to see the British royal family destroyed. Not any other royal family, just the Brits.

But I have wondered why Parliament hasn't passed a law saying anyone marrying into the royal family must be a British subject. I mean it just kind of makes sense,
Posted by: Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14 at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (Oo9oa)

========

England will be made whole again when the Spanish, King Filipe VI, claims the British throne.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (LvTSG)

360 I'm strangely aroused. Ma'am. 😂
Posted by: Marcus T at January 12, 2023 04:04 PM (L9/32)
___

There's a reason Ex-Ex divorced me.

I was not a very nice person then.

My kids will testify to that.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (2Or5V)

361 347 The British Parliament should pass a law that no British Royal is allowed to associate with any American Woman, under penalty of death.

-----

I laughed out loud because history tells us this is a smart thing to do.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (DcKNO)

362
Thomas Cromwell was a douchebag and responsible for many problems of Henry VIII's troubled reign, but that Anne of Cleves thing was what did him in.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (oINRc)

363 ... He's also the spare of the heir and spare, which is a crummy position to be in, watching yourself sliding down the line of succession into irrelevance. ...
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (MoZTd)
++++
Yes, this sucks. This sucks a LOT. Your best bet is to just party and philander and hoover up some cash.

But you know what sucks way, way more than being the spare? It sucks way, way more when there's a blowout and suddenly you have to do the job. Then you have all of the responsibilities but have to recover from your years of dissipation and accumulating resentment against your family and perform with a smile on while the family takes you for granted and forces you, day after day, to do a job for which you were unprepared and that you never wanted but nevertheless you MUST do it.

Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.

Posted by: Hunter Biden at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (t0OGg)

364 -------

hahahahahah

David's pissed about the shit.
Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (DcKNO)

*hangs head*

*feels shame*

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (Zz0t1)

365 Karine, here is your post-presser highball ... and your crying towel.

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (3byMq)

366
There is no Oppsie Clause for national security document handling.
Posted by: JackStraw
------

I inadvertently passed nuclear secrets to the Russians.

Posted by: Klaus Fuchs at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (g6tw6)

367 And sits on a throne of lies.

Dr, Jil l gets mad when I forget to flush.

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (Vu7A1)

368 Oscillating Penis opened for Throwing Muses in '95, IIRC. The t shirt was awesome...
Posted by: Joe Kidd at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM

Their cover of Detachable Penis was pretty good.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (Wnv9h)

369 This is MAGA country!
-- Nigerian brothers paid to plant classified docs at Joe's place

Posted by: Hands at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (786Ro)

370 I was in a mech outfit in Germany, Jan of '87. One of the coldest winters in 50 years. Division sent down orders for all troops to sleep inside our Bradleys' and Abrams' because the risk of frostbite was so extreme. This was unheard of since higher always worried about CO poisoning. Anyways, many parts of me were super cold - face, hands, feet but never my dick. Not even once.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (Hb96K)

371 This Elizabeth Arden stuff would have made a perfect Monty Python skit with their other classic military skits.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (lf83v)

372 Prayers up for the D'oh family!
Posted by: Just Lily at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (vivhj)

Wait. Is there an update?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (Zz0t1)

373 I can tell you that we never had any Elizabeth Arden hand cream in Vietnam, Dude.

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (a3Q+t)

374 A terrible woman is poison but this guy was a mental case from the get-go. I don't give a shit if he was in Afghanistan, there is something weak and pathetic about him.
==
he was pathologically damaged by his circumstances, parents divorce, mother's tabloid death and let's face it was swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool to begin with. So he's probably not that smart, and prone to mental illness. Then a absolute, man eating gold digging, psychopathic manipulator targets him and gets her hooks in. He didn't have much of a chance to start with, but he's toast now. Fer sure.

Posted by: The rich are different at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (9yVTF)

375 Except for Henry and the "Fat German Cow" Anne of Cleves. She did get a nice house and not the axe though, so that's something.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023

***
Catherine of Aragon: put away into a nunnery (?)
Anne Boleyn: Head lopped off
Jane Seymour: gave Henry a male heir and died
Anne of Cleves: "She is hideous; I have been deceived!"
Catherine Howard: Young, flirtatious, lost her head
Catherine Parr: took care of him in his last few years and outlived him

So, you know, Harry only *killed* 2 of the 6. Still, that's a 33% kill ratio!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (J2vNu)

376 I want proof that Diana actually used Elizabeth Arden cream.
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM (Kd4bG)

Great point. I wouldn't put it past them to take money for a product placement.

Posted by: JoeF. at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (mR6Gs)

377 So what happens when documents are advertently placed?
Posted by: Diogenes at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (anj39)

----

You guys are killing me and at the same time wishing I'd said it.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (DcKNO)

378 A short time ago, a reporter asked KJP for the name of the President's personal lawyer who found the TS/SCI documents in Joe's Penn BS Payola Deal office. She said she does not know. She said she'll get the name to the reporter later.

Boy oh boy, the "I didn't know nothing about nothing!" dodge is in full operation by the Junta. So far today, Joe and KJP have lined-up Joe's personal lawyers, whoever packed Joe's materials and shipped it all to non-secure locations at the end of Joe's VP tenure, and DoJ to be thrown under the GarageGate bus if/when needed.

Posted by: Gref at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (AMIL/)

379 A pissed off black woman, in full battle rattle, with a machine gun kinda deters some guys from getting ideas.

Posted by: SMH

---------

(thinks back to watching Archer)

Are we talking an M2 or an M4? Because that doesn't help guys not get ideas.

Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and delete evidence at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (IF3vp)

380 328 299 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
---------------
Well, that explains everything.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (C7jzY)
----
I do believe that if you or I misplaced secret documents, we would have committed a felony and gone to jail.

Posted by: Ciampino - liar, liar, pants on fire at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (qfLjt)

381 I get where Harry is coming from here. When I fuck a jar of mayonnaise, I cannot help but think of all the sandwiches my dear mother made for my school lunches. "No crusts, mummy. Extra mayo."

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (ppBhU)

That made me laugh out loud. Heh.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (Hb96K)

382 51 "Todger"? That's a new one on me. I thought I was kinda up on Brit slang. Or maybe that's a Royal Army term?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 03:43 PM (J2vNu)
_____
You should know there's no "Royal Army". Navy, Air Force, yes. But the Army has only "Royal" parts, like regiments or whole arms (Royal Artillery).

Posted by: Eeyore at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (TgBWG)

383 How many billions dollars disappeared in Sam Bankman-Frieds FTX? Does anyone remember? How does that go un-noticed by our SEC and IC?

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (C7jzY)

384 Oh, while I was in the Marines a lot of Marines were carrying 'Skin So Soft' lotion to repell the mosquitoes.

the bugs don't like the perfume in it, so they don't touch down

Posted by: DB

Most humans don't, either. I was stuck on a flight near a woman who must have bathed in in. I stood near the restrooms for most of the flight, where it smelled better.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (lTGtQ)

385 So nobody saw her last night?
Posted by: Citizen Cake at January 12, 2023 03:58 PM (CwhoI)

Hah!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (tkR6S)

386 This Elizabeth Arden stuff would have made a perfect Monty Python skit with their other classic military skits.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (lf83v)

There's got to be a rap song in there somewhere.

"I've got Arden on my junk.
Lizzy be good for my spunk."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (Zz0t1)

387 the bugs don't like the perfume in it, so they don't touch down
Posted by: DB
--------

Red smoke

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (wcvdH)

388 I can tell you that we never had any Elizabeth Arden hand cream in Vietnam, Dude.
Posted by: Walter Sobchak at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (a3Q+t)

But in WW2, they did have Eve Arden hand cream

Posted by: JoeF. at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (mR6Gs)

389 Lie back and think of England?

Posted by: TexasDan at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (yrD0o)

390 Part of me feels sorry for the guy.

A lot of people have less than idyllic childhoods, and without the money and security of being royalty. As an adult, he could have left and lived life on his own terms. Instead, he seems to want to remain in the fold enough to profit off his status while fulfilling none of his obligations. Seems like an ungrateful dick to me. Not content to just shit his bed, he seems to want to livestream the act. He's like a low-IQ, low-rent Iago at this point. It's sad and weird.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (ppBhU)

391 Man love Thursday in Islamic countries. It's a real thing.

Now, pass the Elizabeth Arden cream, Private.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (lf83v)

392

Dude is higher than his Taliban kill count.

Posted by: Auspex at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (1qy04)

393 383 How many billions dollars disappeared in Sam Bankman-Frieds FTX? Does anyone remember? How does that go un-noticed by our SEC and IC?
Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (C7jzY)

========

How many clients did Jeffrey Epstein have, and what were their names?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (LvTSG)

394 358-
He seems unaware--of a lot. But wouldn't that have been a GREAT follow-up point for Anderson Cooper Vanderbilt to make?

Posted by: Ktgreat at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (ei7q6)

395 347,361 John Cleese married two Americans and each took him to the cleaners. After #2 he said he learned a lesson against marrying Americans

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (dHzaG)

396 Harry's next work: Extended Ruminations As Megan Pegs Me.

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (krQz2)

397 *hangs head*

*feels shame*
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (Zz0t1)

You need a sock time-out.

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (DRSnL)

398 I do believe that if you or I misplaced secret documents, we would have committed a felony and gone to jail.
-----------------
Well, of course, we are both covered in shit. Its how things work.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (C7jzY)

399 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
-------

I've never gone through any training on it, but I'm guessing it's pretty specific on those matters.

Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and delete evidence at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (IF3vp)

400 370 I was in a mech outfit in Germany, Jan of '87. One of the coldest winters in 50 years. Division sent down orders for all troops to sleep inside our Bradleys' and Abrams' because the risk of frostbite was so extreme. This was unheard of since higher always worried about CO poisoning. Anyways, many parts of me were super cold - face, hands, feet but never my dick. Not even once.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (Hb96K)

--------

I mentioned up thread this sounds weird. Any guy worth a shit would use his underwear, undershirt or socks to protect his weiner. This story is garbage. Unless he is in fact a complete moron.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (DcKNO)

401 the bugs don't like the perfume in it, so they don't touch down
_____

But when you are in the field, the enemy can smell you before they see you.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (lf83v)

402 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (geLO

++++
Can one deliberately misplace something?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (t0OGg)

403 How many clients did Jeffrey Epstein have, and what were their names?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (LvTSG)
---
You're just trying to make Americans UNSAFE!

Posted by: House Democrat Decriers at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (krQz2)

404 236 Oh, while I was in the Marines a lot of Marines were carrying 'Skin So Soft' lotion to repell the mosquitoes...

Posted by: You're not fooling anyone at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (JCZqz)

The makers should have put the same stuff in a camo bottle and called it "Blazing Gun Death Kill" and raised the price 100 pct. Or make it part of the standard kit.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (eoQWY)

405 Are we talking an M2 or an M4? Because that doesn't help guys not get ideas.
Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and delete evidence at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (IF3vp)
___

M249 SAW, M240B, M4, and yes, M2.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (2Or5V)

406
You need a sock time-out.
Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (DRSnL)

I DO!!!

I need to adopt the TJM method.......I'm not worthy to sock like the normals.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (Zz0t1)

407 342 All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

--
3. Jodi Arias
Posted by: Lady in Black at January 12, 2023 04:03 PM (sVtYq)

How does Amber Heard not rank in the top 3?
She. Shit. His. Bed.
Posted by: David Lee Roth at January 12, 2023 04:06 PM

I cut his dick off.

Posted by: Lorena Bobbitt at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (JCZqz)

408 403 How many clients did Jeffrey Epstein have, and what were their names?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (LvTSG)
---
You're just trying to make Americans UNSAFE!
Posted by: House Democrat Decriers at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (krQz2)

=========

*boils water on gas stove*

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (LvTSG)

409 Can one deliberately misplace something?
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (t0OGg)

You have to do it with the hand that the other hand doesn't know what it is doing.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (eoQWY)

410 Almost forgot, MK-19.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (2Or5V)

411 Im starting to think this Hairy dude is nuts.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (Q3oNv)

412 M249 SAW, M240B, M4, and yes, M2.

Posted by: SMH
----

The defense rests, your honor.

Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and delete evidence at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (IF3vp)

413 393 383 How many billions dollars disappeared in Sam Bankman-Frieds FTX? Does anyone remember? How does that go un-noticed by our SEC and IC?
Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (C7jzY)

========

How many clients did Jeffrey Epstein have, and what were their names?
-----------------
How many of the recipients of FTX money were friends and clients of Epstein?

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (C7jzY)

414 347,361 John Cleese married two Americans and each took him to the cleaners. After #2 he said he learned a lesson against marrying Americans
Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (dHzaG)

Because there isn't ONE British gold digging cünt out there. Nope. Not. One.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (Zz0t1)

415 Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream? Recommendation noted!

Posted by: Buffalo Bob at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (ssESX)

416 If it an't the comet, something spooky stupid is going on.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (iF8tK)

417
I married a New Zealander. Worked out fine.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (MoZTd)

418 406 I need to adopt the TJM method.......I'm not worthy to sock like the normals.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (Zz0t1)

=========

I spent half a day as Amy Schumer without realizing it.

Never again.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (LvTSG)

419 Sandpaper Pegging And How It's Made Me Stronger

Posted by: Harry Markle at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (krQz2)

420 >>>Harry Markle: When I Applied The Cream to My Aching Penis, I Was Transported and Could Only Think of My Mum's Fragrant Lips

Harry Hewitt, I think you mean to say.

Posted by: Dr. T at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (bhRsz)

421 Im starting to think this Hairy dude is nuts.
Posted by: MaxMBJ at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (Q3oNv)

At least you know they're soft and supple.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (Zz0t1)

422 From Harry Markle's "Spare" -

Chapter 26 - Eggs

...As I was sitting there eating me scrambled eggs in Breakfastistan, I couldn't help thinking of me Mum's eggs.

No, I don't mean chicken eggs, I mean me Mum's eggs. The ones that lived in her vagina.

Mum's eggs must've got all scrambled too when she had that terrible car wreck. Scrambled up good.

I shed a tear and went back to eating my scrambled eggs.

Mum's eggs would;d've tasted better...

Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (KLPy8)

423 Please. No more of this cuckhold.

Posted by: Golfman at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (BLVc0)

424
=========

I spent half a day as Amy Schumer without realizing it.

Never again.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (LvTSG)

Ok. Now THAT shit's FUNNY right there......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (Zz0t1)

425 hangs head*

*feels shame*
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:08 PM (Zz0t1)
-----

Kinky.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (5pTK/)

426 Maybe it's because his mother was a whore bag who he used to walk in on as she blew the help.

Posted by: Rbastid at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (oN/Sg)

427 M240B

Posted by: SMH

--

That's one of my favorites BTW. Don't have any experience at all, I just think it's a really attractive design.

Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and delete evidence at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (IF3vp)

428 A short time ago, a reporter asked KJP for the name of the President's personal lawyer who found the TS/SCI documents in Joe's Penn BS Payola Deal office. She said she does not know. She said she'll get the name to the reporter later.

-
Sergeant Schultz is the Press Secretary?

Posted by: Mick Jagger at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (FVME7)

429 Aaaaaand, it’s all your fault. Remember Billy Jeff!

Posted by: Holy Crap at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (glGDV)

430 OT but that "meme", I guess, of using that anti-bot verification thinggy (check each box that has a wombat, etc), is getting used very well, and I approve. The one ace posted is actually perfect - not only hilarious, but based on a very fundamental substantive point (which of course doesn't even enter the discussion of the cretinous, propagandistic cartoon called the "news") that the president is the ultimate classification/declassification authority. Which rendered the entire, indefensible, outrageous DOJ/FBI raid on Mar a Lago baseless from the start.

Leaving aside that the by now very common wrangling over Federal Records Act compliance between NARA and an outgoing administration was ongoing, with lawyers from both sides discussing things.

Posted by: rhomboid at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (OTzUX)

431 I've never gone through any training on it, but I'm guessing it's pretty specific on those matters.
Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and delete evidence at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (IF3vp)

One of my SLJO duties in the Navy was cryptography custodian. I basically just inventoried the new stuff and destroyed the old stuff. I was flat out told that if I violated any of the rules, I'd go to prison. Even just being alone with it was felony.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (Y5qcH)

432 How many billions dollars disappeared in Sam Bankman-Frieds FTX? Does anyone remember? How does that go un-noticed by our SEC and IC?
Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:10 PM (C7jzY)

Someone stole some money
Who it ain't quite clear
Stolen from my honey
She holds my stash 'round here
The cops, you know, I can't involve them
They'd only interfere
So, I hit the usual suspects
But I drew a blank 'round them
I'm robbed blind
Robbed blind...

Posted by: Keith Richards at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (+YIje)

433 I spent half a day as Amy Schumer without realizing it.

Never again.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (LvTSG)
---
You started to like it, didn't you?

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (krQz2)

434
Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (KLPy

That was disgusting and also made me laugh really hard.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (oINRc)

435 >White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’

as opposed to 'deliberately misplaced'

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (geLO8)

436 Dude is higher than his Taliban kill count.

Posted by: Auspex at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (1qy04)

---------

He killed the Taliban with snowballs from his frozen woody.

Posted by: ShainS -- Ctrl+Galt+Delete to remove the The Great Reset malware virus at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (KpV4B)

437
Unless he is in fact a complete moron.
Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (DcKNO)

House of Hanover, so it's quite likely. Not known for their intellectual wattage.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (MoZTd)

438 which is what the FBI does

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (geLO8)

439 395 347,361 John Cleese married two Americans and each took him to the cleaners. After #2 he said he learned a lesson against marrying Americans
_______

No, they didn't.

Posted by: Arguments, Room 12A at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (lf83v)

440 437
Unless he is in fact a complete moron.
Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:11 PM (DcKNO)

House of Hanover, so it's quite likely. Not known for their intellectual wattage.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (MoZTd)

========

I believe he's House of Windsor...well...purportedly.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (LvTSG)

441 The biggest "British gold digging c*nt" of them all was Harry's mom.

Posted by: lowandslow at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (qH6FZ)

442 KJP? The new supreme thingy?

Posted by: Holy Crap at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (glGDV)

443 "Stake" as in holding up the family tent

Posted by: Skip at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (xhxe8)

444
I believe he's House of Windsor...well...purportedly.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (LvTSG)

Hanover/Windsor is a blurry line.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (oINRc)

445 I still think Harry and William are half-brothers

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (geLO8)

446 Instead of writing his name in the snow, Harry would dick paint it.

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (Kd4bG)

447 I spent half a day as Amy Schumer without realizing it.

Never again.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (LvTSG)

-----

HA! I was "Hillary's emails" for about a month.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (DcKNO)

448 ---
You started to like it, didn't you?
Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (krQz2)

"I'd fuck me...."

- - TJM as Amy Schumer After 4 Hours

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (Zz0t1)

449 Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (KLPy

++++
Dude, that's revolting.

Also hilarious and on-point. I might be going to hell for laughing at that, but I'll look forward to seeing you there!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (t0OGg)

450 cleaning up name field

Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and remove evidence at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (IF3vp)

451 Maybe Hank Johnson is right. Someone planted those documents.

Kamala Harris.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (lf83v)

452 Royal extras used to live on country estates, hunt pheasants daily, drink scotch to their heart's content, laze about, and have multiple mistresses, but this guy has to decide to be a public pain in the ass.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (lTGtQ)

453 Whenever I'm having sex, I always whisper to my male partner, "I'm coming mommy."

Posted by: Prince Harry at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (Lavx8)

454 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’

--

No word on how a VP had classified docs?

Posted by: Lady in Black at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (sVtYq)

455 Anyways, many parts of me were super cold - face, hands, feet but never my dick. Not even once.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (Hb96K)

Part of Core Body with excellent circulation? check
Under lots of clothing? check

My brother and I were at the Bengals Game in 1982 that was the coldest in NFL history. Well below -10, high winds, standing outside for hours. Concrete would suck heat out of your feet so fast you could feel it.

Not anywhere on the list of cold bits.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (eoQWY)

456 415 Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream? Recommendation noted!
Posted by: Buffalo Bob at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM

Soon...

Posted by: Priapism at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (JCZqz)

457 ...Mum's eggs would;d've tasted better...

Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 04:14 PM (KLPy

LOL. That was good too!

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (Hb96K)

458 Hanover/Windsor is a blurry line.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (oINRc)
++++
How? One is known for pretzels, the other for necktie knots.

What the hell are *your* ties made of?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (t0OGg)

459 The guy's real last name is Saxe Coburg. They changed it to Windsor because of the German unpleasantness...1914-1918. He's a kraut, and they are all fvcked up sexually anyway. Why is anyone surprised?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (XIJ/X)

460 John Cleese married two Americans and each took him to the cleaners. After #2 he said he learned a lesson against marrying Americans
_______

No, they didn't.
Posted by: Arguments, Room 12A at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (lf83v)

Also, I'm pretty sure he married at least 3 Americans.

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (DRSnL)

461 "John Cleese married two Americans and each took him to the cleaners. After #2 he said he learned a lesson against marrying Americans "

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Posted by: eleven at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (t4fCu)

462 So I tells the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yarbles!

Posted by: Harry Markle, Duck of Death at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (gmo/4)

463 357 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:02 PM (geLO

So what happens when documents are advertently placed?

Posted by: Diogenes at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM (anj39)
----
It appears that English has the word 'inadvertent' but not 'advertent'. However I only have the Concise Oxford Dictionary (software) so I may be wrong.

Posted by: Ciampino -- liar, liar, pants on fire at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (qfLjt)

464 380 328 299 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
---------------
Well, that explains everything.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:05 PM (C7jzY)
----
I do believe that if you or I misplaced secret documents, we would have committed a felony and gone to jail.
Posted by: Ciampino - liar, liar, pants on fire at January 12, 2023 04:09 PM (qfLjt)

Ummm isn't that worse? Guy is such a retard he leaves secret noc lists in his vette. Sure give him the nuke codes.

Does anyone not think he was doing blind drops to his paymasters ?

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (CVCe+)

465 >No word on how a VP had classified docs?

Posted by: Lady in Black

Inadvertently, of course

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (geLO8)

466 Please continue praying, of course. This is day 15 of his ordeal. Thank you.
Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 04:01 PM (pTb/Z)

Prayers continuing

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (Kd4bG)

467 Well, shit, shouldn't that FTX guy or whatever it is just say he inadvertently misplaced a few billion dollars.

Done and done.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (DcKNO)

468 459 The guy's real last name is Saxe Coburg. They changed it to Windsor because of the German unpleasantness...1914-1918. He's a kraut, and they are all fvcked up sexually anyway. Why is anyone surprised?
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (XIJ/X)

=========

Mostly that he's actually part of the family?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (LvTSG)

469
How? One is known for pretzels, the other for necktie knots.

What the hell are *your* ties made of?
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (t0OGg)

Pretzel dough, duh. So I can eat on the go.

I'm not sure why my pretzels are made from hand-painted silk, though. Seems weird, but there you have it.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (oINRc)

470 The biggest "British gold digging c*nt" of them all was Harry's mom.
Posted by: lowandslow at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (qH6FZ)

Perhaps, but she didn't piss off the press, the English people and get herself yeeted out publicly.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (eoQWY)

471 Mk-19 is great. Just the very concept, first time I was exposed to one, gave me a nice warm feeling. Belt-fed grenade launcher? A Marine one-star who was out of central casting grabbed the flak jacket, jumped in the hole and demo'd its proper use. Peals of delighted laughter and general exultation were suppressed with difficulty.

Even if impractical for military use, such a thing should have been invented for splodey s**ts and giggles.

Posted by: rhomboid at January 12, 2023 04:19 PM (OTzUX)

472 Please continue praying, of course. This is day 15 of his ordeal. Thank you.
Posted by: bluebell
___

He still in the hospital?

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:19 PM (RU4sa)

473 advertent
ad-ˈvər-tᵊnt
adjective
giving attention : heedful

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:19 PM (geLO8)

474 465 >No word on how a VP had classified docs?

Posted by: Lady in Black

Inadvertently, of course
Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (geLO

==========

I imagine VPs regularly have access to classified documents. Having them in non-secured areas, though...

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:19 PM (LvTSG)

475 Please continue praying, of course. This is day 15 of his ordeal. Thank you.

Posted by: bluebell
------

Thanks bluebell. I'd somehow missed that any of this had even happened. Jane, if you're reading we love you and you and yours are in our prayers.

Posted by: Biden's classified stash is an act to allow friendlies to clean it up and remove evidence at January 12, 2023 04:19 PM (IF3vp)

476 White House claims Biden classified docs were ‘inadvertently misplaced’
---------------
Well, that explains everything.

Posted by: Puddinhead

It doesn't explain how a VP without authority to have them had the documents to misplace them.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 12, 2023 04:19 PM (lTGtQ)

477 I'm not sure why my pretzels are made from hand-painted silk, though. Seems weird, but there you have it.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (oINRc)
++++
*snort*

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:19 PM (t0OGg)

478 It puts its lotion on its hose
Or else its skin again gets froze

Posted by: BourbonChicken at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (44ww/)

479 Perhaps, but she didn't piss off the press, the English people and get herself yeeted out publicly.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (eoQWY)

She only got herself killed by shacking up with a Muslim

Posted by: JoeF. at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (mR6Gs)

480 I cried when Meghan asked me to ram her, like she was a tunnel and my cock was the car.

Posted by: Prince Harry at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (Lavx8)

481 Well if King Harry does not likes the Meghan Markle who is the beutiful American womyn of fame, he shouldve married a lovely American man man like Michael Obama.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein of Brattleboro VT at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (786Ro)

482 Mummy my tadger has a rosie. Can you put some lip cream on it?

Posted by: Harry at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (CVCe+)

483 I believe he's House of Windsor...well...purportedly.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (LvTSG)

The House of Windsor is simply a 1917 re-naming of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, done for public relations purposes while the UK was at war with Germany.

Posted by: Gref at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (AMIL/)

484
Elizabeth Arden Cream sales just spiked and prices jumped 38%.

Posted by: portlandon at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (+oR7L)

485 Remember when DiFi had documents her maid or whatever was copying?

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (Kd4bG)

486 I still think Harry and William are half-brothers

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (geLO

-------

"She's my mother!
She's my sister!
She's my mother AND my sister!"

Posted by: ShainS -- Ctrl+Galt+Delete to remove the The Great Reset malware virus at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (KpV4B)

487 For the last couple days all I've heard is that Biden takes classified information seriously. So how does he "inadvertently" leave top secret classified information in his garage?

Posted by: JackStraw at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (ZLI7S)

488 Elizabeth Arden Cream sales just spiked and prices jumped 38%.
Posted by: portlandon at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (+oR7L)

I'd figure they'd be out of business in 3 weeks as everyone knows he's a frigging retard.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (Zz0t1)

489 In fairness, if Diana had placed her fragrant lips around my freezer-burned todger, it would have sprung back to life like Lazarus of Bethany.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (Er3sM)

490 He's a kraut, and they are all fvcked up sexually anyway

you leave my Scheiße pron collection out of this, ja?

Posted by: Fritz at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (lO5WT)

491 SOURCES AND METHODS. !!!!

Posted by: Preznit Ruprect the Monkeyboy at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (CVCe+)

492
Royal extras used to live on country estates, hunt pheasants daily, drink scotch to their heart's content, laze about, and have multiple mistresses, but this guy has to decide to be a public pain in the ass.
Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 12, 2023 04:17 PM (lTGtQ)

Takes money to do that. You either earn it yourself (which the Windsors are bad at doing) or get it from the Civil List. Which means you have to work by attending a lot of events meeting boring people.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (MoZTd)

493 When I ran track in High School we would shove our hands down our pants to keep them warm. Your truck will ALWAYS be the warmest part of your body

Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (flINI)

494 Everyone knows the I was in the pool jokes. The man parts tend to huddle for warmth and the body keeps the core warm at the expense of all else.

I think there is a reason know one has heard of Willy frostbite before. You know if it were an issue every guy would be making jokes about it any time they left the house and it was below freezing.

Harry used that cream to spank it and his editor was like man I'll put the story in there but we have to change it to like you were hitting frostbite or something.

Also how would cream help frostbite anyway?

Posted by: TexasDan at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (qYEbv)

495 Why me, Lord?

Posted by: Baby Duke Archie Markle-Sparkle at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (PiwSw)

496 John Cleese was in a romance-comedy with Jamie Lee Curtis called Fierce Creatures. It didn't really work as an idea.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (44ww/)

497 The biggest "British gold digging c*nt" of them all was Harry's mom.Posted by: lowandslow at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (qH6FZ)

I don't think she was that bad. She was considerably younger than Charles and probably rather naive and Charles continued to have an affair with Camilla throughout their marriage.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (D+F6R)

498 The '82 Cold Bowl was a shame, as that was the year that the Chargers under Coryell were at their peak and by far the best team, if only because they could score and nobody could stop them. Would've been a typical snorer of a Super Bowl if they'd won in Cincinnati.

Talked to a Charger at the time, forget his name now, he said he put his feet up against the warming thinggys they had on the side-lines - too close and for too long, it turns out - and his shoe caught on fire. Much hilarity was had, and the other ex-Chargers present continued to give him s**t about it.

Posted by: rhomboid at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (OTzUX)

499 Joe is just as blameless as Hillary when she inadvertently mis-installed an email server at her private residence.

Posted by: Hands at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (786Ro)

500 Even if impractical for military use, such a thing should have been invented for splodey s**ts and giggles.
Posted by: rhomboid
___

It came in handy downrange, so very much practical.

But yeah, the first time I fired one, I was like a little kid.

My soldiers were just as enthralled.

Fixing them, otoh, was a pain.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (RU4sa)

501 so just another demented Lib with sexual mommy issues then?

Posted by: Eddie Spaghetti at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (ECHKg)

502 There was a well-done British TV miniseries from the 1980s or 1990s, in which a young women died, and father found her personal stimulator, and put it up to his face to smell her I guess... Of course, watched it with me mum ;(

Posted by: Baldy at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (RT9wI)

503
Everytime I put my todger in Meghan, she sings "You're as cold as ice
You're willing to sacrifice our love
You never take advice
Someday you'll pay the price, I know"

I don't know why.

Posted by: Harry's frost bitten todger at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (+oR7L)

504 John Cleese was in a romance-comedy with Jamie Lee Curtis called Fierce Creatures. It didn't really work as an idea.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (44ww/)

Wasn't that A Fish Called Wanda?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (Zz0t1)

505 Wonder which will kill Harry first, terrorists, some generic spy agency, ice cream bicycle.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (WNVCi)

506 the bugs don't like the perfume in it, so they don't touch down
_____

But when you are in the field, the enemy can smell you before they see you.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 12, 2023 04:12 PM (lf83v)

They think you are an Avon lady, so they have their wish list in hand and not anything dangerous.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (eoQWY)

507 Mostly that he's actually part of the family?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (LvTSG)

Everyone seems to be forgetting that Harry's idiocy comes at least in part from his dear old dad, who has been a tone-deaf retard for about 50 years.

Amazing that Harry is now WORSE than Charles.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (XIJ/X)

508 Elizabeth Arden's new spokeswoman : Meghan Markle.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (dHzaG)

509 Anyways, many parts of me were super cold - face, hands, feet but never my dick. Not even once.

Listen hear young man, I try to keep mya balls tucked in my socks. Sometimes they slip out and I don't notice until they get cold.

Awkward man.

Awkward.

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (Vu7A1)

510 Also how would cream help frostbite anyway?
Posted by: TexasDan at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (qYEbv)

It wouldn't. It helps chafing. Harry is a wanker

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (Kd4bG)

511 The House of Windsor is simply a 1917 re-naming of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, done for public relations purposes while the UK was at war with Germany.

Posted by: Gref

Plus some Greek, which is where the Mountbattens came from.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (lTGtQ)

512 Posted by: bluebell at January 12, 2023 04:07 PM
----------------

Thanks for asking. She saw doc today and he was skeptical about problem being hematoma. He drained blood out her hip and said "Yep, hematoma." Told her to limit activity for 2-3 weeks until needle track can heal from when she got steroid shot post thanksgiving.

Posted by: olddog in mo at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (ju2Fy)

513 Wasn't that A Fish Called Wanda?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (Zz0t1)

No different movie.

Posted by: Prince Harry at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (Lavx8)

514 All-time Worst Choice of girlfriend/wife? (pick one)
1. Yoko Ono
2. Meghan Markle

Lorena Bobbit has entered the chat.

Posted by: Ian S. at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (ZGrMX)

515 Come on folks, we all knew this guy had a screw loose.

Just look at who he married, and what he gave up to do so.

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (oHd/0)

516 "Paging Dr Freud, Dr Freud to the white courtesy phone"
"What? Dr Freud has left the building? Did he say when he was coming back? Never?? That's when he said he's coming back??? Never??? Well, OK, then!"

Posted by: William F. 'Buck' Dharma at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (oedLL)

517
Victoria was House of Hanover. When she married Albert, her children became members of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. The name was changed in 1917 to Windsor.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (MoZTd)

518 Wasn't that A Fish Called Wanda?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (Zz0t1)

That was Shwanda I think. It stunk.

Posted by: Eddie Spaghetti at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (ECHKg)

519 Elizabeth Arden Cream sales just spiked and prices jumped 38%.
Posted by: portlandon at January 12, 2023

***
I always used to get Eve Arden, Elizabeth Arden, and Enoch Arden mixed up.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (J2vNu)

520 as opposed to 'deliberately misplaced'
Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:15 PM (geLO

---
That's what Trump did!

Posted by: President Charlie Foxtrot at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (krQz2)

521 The biggest "British gold digging c*nt" of them all was Harry's mom.
==
How Dare you sir!?!?!!

Posted by: Dodi Al Fayed at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (13rY/)

522 "Read by the author"? Really? Naaaaa. Who was the stunt double reader? The ghost reader?

Posted by: Kam Fong as Chin Ho at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (gf7Ez)

523 Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (XIJ/X)

I will have you know I stood next to an Asian dude who was wearing flip flops during my utter waste of time at the Post Office today and I DIDN'T go all John Wick.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:25 PM (Zz0t1)

524 Lorena Bobbit has entered the chat.
Posted by: Ian S. at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (ZGrMX)
++++
You hear about the computer virus named after her?

It turns your hard drive into a 3.5" floppy.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at January 12, 2023 04:25 PM (t0OGg)

525 Amazing that Harry is now WORSE than Charles.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (XIJ/X)

------

Charles is 100% awful.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:25 PM (DcKNO)

526 Wonder which will kill Harry first, terrorists, some generic spy agency, ice cream bicycle.
Posted by: humphreyrobot

O.J. Simpson.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 12, 2023 04:25 PM (XF9Gj)

527

Amazing that Harry is now WORSE than Charles.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (XIJ/X)

At least Harry isn't shagging a basset hound.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:26 PM (Zz0t1)

528 487 For the last couple days all I've heard is that Biden takes classified information seriously. So how does he "inadvertently" leave top secret classified information in his garage?

Posted by: JackStraw at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (ZLI7S)

The Junta cannot square that circle. So I expect Joe will be ordered to stop publicly saying how seriously he takes all classified materials. In reality, the Junta's best option as of now is to quickly send a young woman to get into hair-sniffing distance of Joe every time he begins to ad-lib about this documents mess.

Posted by: Gref at January 12, 2023 04:26 PM (AMIL/)

529 This story is false

Every British military serviceman knows the correct protocol for a cold penis is to place it firmly into a fellow servicemember's rectum.

Posted by: Tommy at January 12, 2023 04:26 PM (9ayTd)

530 505 Wonder which will kill Harry first, terrorists, some generic spy agency, ice cream bicycle.
Posted by: humphreyrobot at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (WNVCi)

Markle... you know how we call some crooks getting killed suicide by cop?

Suicide by marriage.

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 12, 2023 04:26 PM (oHd/0)

531 At least Harry is protected against a really bad hit to the balls...unless somebody knocks Megan's purse down the stairs.

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (krQz2)

532 They think you are an Avon lady, so they have their wish list in hand and not anything dangerous.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:23 PM (eoQWY)

COIN for the win!

Posted by: David Petraeus at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (PiwSw)

533 "TikTok star Waffler69 has died from a suspected heart attack aged 33."

https://tinyurl.com/ywunb44y

A totally normal thing that has always been happening to 33-year-olds all along.

Posted by: Dr. T at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (bhRsz)

534 Wonder which will kill Harry first, terrorists, some generic spy agency, ice cream bicycle.
==
A household accident

aka his wife.

Posted by: Obviously at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (U+uJN)

535 A pissed off black woman, in full battle rattle, with a machine gun kinda deters some guys from getting ideas.

Posted by: SMH

SMH you remind me of my G-2 clerk.
A 5ft 2inch 105 lb black woman with 200 rounds and a bad attitude. She was awesome!
In Desert Storm she went on to personally target and destroy with counter-fire, most of a D-30 battalion.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (anj39)

536 We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that skins his weezer with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That anointed our wangers with Elizabeth Arden upon Saint Crispin's day.

Posted by: William F. 'Buck' Dharma at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (oedLL)

537 Steve Martin's All-natural Penis Beauty Cream

https://tinyurl.com/4hzzvud4

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (geLO8)

538 It wouldn't. It helps chafing. Harry is a wanker
-------------------
We were issued the 'new' woodland uniforms at OCS. Then during the three day war exercise it was rainy and cold and all of us were chafed from the extra ass panel sewed on the trousers. The Corpsmen ran out of vaseline by the second day. That is why we lost the battle of the three day war.

Posted by: Puddinhead at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (C7jzY)

539 "She's my mother!
She's my sister!
She's my mother AND my sister!"
Posted by: ShainS

'Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.'

Posted by: Puddleglum at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (sAmhv)

540 I get where Harry is coming from here. When I fuck a jar of mayonnaise, I cannot help but think of all the sandwiches my dear mother made for my school lunches. "No crusts, mummy. Extra mayo."
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at January 12, 2023 03:54 PM (ppBhU)

This has got to be the threadwinner. LOLOL

Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (BdMk6)

541 Harry could probably make a buck or two doing TV commercials.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter 2023 at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (FVME7)

542 411 Im starting to think this Hairy dude is nuts.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at January 12, 2023 04:13 PM (Q3oNv)
----
Did you mean his nuts are hairy?

Posted by: Ciampino - Red and hirsute at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (qfLjt)

543 Shani Wallis was really cute/borderline hot in Oliver!

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (atmen)

544 I think the rule "Not everything needs to be shared" applies to this AOS post as well.

Posted by: T C at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (g7nnY)

545 The '82 Cold Bowl was a shame, as that was the year that the Chargers under Coryell were at their peak and by far the best team, if only because they could score and nobody could stop them. Would've been a typical snorer of a Super Bowl if they'd won in Cincinnati.

Talked to a Charger at the time, forget his name now, he said he put his feet up against the warming thinggys they had on the side-lines - too close and for too long, it turns out - and his shoe caught on fire. Much hilarity was had, and the other ex-Chargers present continued to give him s**t about it.
Posted by: rhomboid at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (OTzUX)

We beat them 40-17 in San Diego earlier that year. The Chargers always had that fatal flaw that the Best offense in the NFL was either the Chargers or "Anyone Playing the Chargers"

But I do remember Chargers saying that weather would not be a factor, and all of Cincy saying "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED" and wishing up some crazy weather.

The halftime bands tried to form up, then gave it up and went home without playing.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (eoQWY)

546 When I ran track in High School we would shove our hands down our pants to keep them warm. Your truck will ALWAYS be the warmest part of your body
Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (flINI)
----
"If rubbing frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, I don't wanna be right."

Posted by: Free Waterfall, Sr. at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (YIVH2)

547 533 "TikTok star Waffler69 has died from a suspected heart attack aged 33."

https://tinyurl.com/ywunb44y

A totally normal thing that has always been happening to 33-year-olds all along.
Posted by: Dr. T at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (bhRsz)

========

Big guy. To say that he should work out would be insulting to fat positivity. Also, he's a fat slob that no woman should ever come close to touching because he's an incel grossness.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (LvTSG)

548 Worst girlfriend... now let me think about that for a minute.

Posted by: Amy Fischer at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (CVCe+)

549 "Spare"
I guess "Gutter Ball" was already taken.

Posted by: Chuck C at January 12, 2023 04:29 PM (xttsV)

550 I'll take that as a complement, Diogenes.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:29 PM (RU4sa)

551 Desert sand makes a poor lube, Harry.

Posted by: naturalfake at January 12, 2023 03:50 PM (KLPy

I read that in Hagrids voice.

Posted by: Mishdog at January 12, 2023 04:29 PM (uwW33)

552 This has got to be the threadwinner. LOLOL

Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (BdMk6)

4 out of 5 penises.

Posted by: Pinocchios Nose Rating Site at January 12, 2023 04:29 PM (ECHKg)

553 It puts the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again

Posted by: AMartel at January 12, 2023 04:30 PM (ofuLR)

554 This has got to be the threadwinner. LOLOL
Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at January 12, 2023

***
I'm kind of fond of 536's Shakespeare-sort-of:

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that skins his weezer with me . . ."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:30 PM (J2vNu)

555 Fish Called Wanda was better.

I'm a fair-weather friend to Monty Python affiliated movies. I will watch Baron Munchausen a thousand times and give a pass to Doctor Parnasus.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at January 12, 2023 04:30 PM (44ww/)

556 Shani Wallis was really cute/borderline hot in Oliver!
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023

***
A lot more than "borderline"!

She was in a 2-part Gunsmoke in 1973, too.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:31 PM (J2vNu)

557 We beat them 40-17 in San Diego earlier that year. The Chargers always had that fatal flaw that the Best offense in the NFL was either the Chargers or "Anyone Playing the Chargers"
==
The Cincy Running game was something they were not equipped to stop. So in bad weather, its hard to score throwing the ball and they got behind. Cincy controlled the game and pushed them all over the field. Later got embarrassed in Super Bowel. Typical.

Posted by: not a typo at January 12, 2023 04:31 PM (p9TtY)

558 Oh look there's Cavuto and Thom Tillis being obtuse again (still)

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 04:31 PM (3byMq)

559 Perhaps, but she didn't piss off the press, the English people and get herself yeeted out publicly.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM (eoQWY)

She only got herself killed by shacking up with a Muslim
Posted by: JoeF. at January 12, 2023 04:20 PM (mR6Gs)

Still a better plan that what her kid is doing.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (eoQWY)

560 A totally normal thing that has always been happening to 33-year-olds all along.
Posted by: Dr. T at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (bhRsz)
---
It's the bees.

Posted by: The Latest Doubletalk at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (krQz2)

561 Regarding the Chargers: Fouts had a tell. Depending on the play, he'd plant his feet differently. I believe his size might have had something to do with it.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (5pTK/)

562 Another 45 minutes or so before I can skim outta here.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (J2vNu)

563 511 The House of Windsor is simply a 1917 re-naming of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, done for public relations purposes while the UK was at war with Germany.

Posted by: Gref

Plus some Greek, which is where the Mountbattens came from.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at January 12, 2023 04:24 PM (lTGtQ)

Mountbatten was a renaming of Battenberg, also done sometime during World War 1 to help prove they were totally pro-British.

Posted by: Gref at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (AMIL/)

564 That anointed our wangers with Elizabeth Arden upon Saint Crispin's day.
Posted by: William F. 'Buck' Dharma at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (oedLL)

And with that Mrs.D got pissed off. She hates it when I start laughing my ass off.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (anj39)

565 496 John Cleese was in a romance-comedy with Jamie Lee Curtis called Fierce Creatures. It didn't really work as an idea.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at January 12, 2023 04:22 PM (44ww/)
----
Well we enjoyed it and found it funny.

Posted by: Ciampino -- Red and hirsute at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (qfLjt)

566 A totally normal thing that has always been happening to 33-year-olds all along.
Posted by: Dr. T at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (bhRsz)

Looking at the pics, its actually a miracle he lasted that long.

Posted by: spindrift at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (h5TKJ)

567 548 Worst girlfriend... now let me think about that for a minute.
Posted by: Amy Fischer at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (CVCe+)

Hell, I can't even answer that question about the my REAL girlfriends over the years.

One who ended in the Psych Ward? The Redhead who stole shit from me? The Brunette who tried to take by head off with a 2x4?... or hell, the Ex Wife, who just stomped all over my dreams of happily ever after.

Gotta admit one thing, they were all very different... I never make the same mistake twice... I always find a NEW mistake.

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (oHd/0)

568 A overly dependent personality, not making for a strong father, etc. (But isn't that how the left wants it?) He needs suicide watch, away from her & that lifestyle and into something busy and productive, and also into therapy. IMH know nothing opinion.

Had a male cousin who had a wayward mom, father ran off. He make poor choices marrying & raising his only daughter too liberally (rehabbed many times, always paid her way, etc.). Both she & her mother were 'out there,' somewhat like his mom, so maybe he went with what he knew.

A nice guy, always working to keep the crazies in style. He committed suicide. A handful of years ago, his daughter - mother of four - went up to Philly & got a hold of whatever one uses that's mixed with fentanyl. She died in the parking lot of a convenience store.

Posted by: Lola - If you have to explain, I won't understand at January 12, 2023 04:33 PM (p39Z2)

569 A totally normal thing that has always been happening to 33-year-olds all along.
Posted by: Dr. T at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (bhRsz)
---
It's the bees.
--
and their damn gas stoves!

Posted by: Trumpka at January 12, 2023 04:33 PM (p9TtY)

570 1) supposedly he got frostbite training at the North Pole.
2) his mom used Elizabeth Arden cream on her lips
3) it's beyond weird..... it's completely cringe that he is thinking about his mom while applying cream to his soldier.
4) why would he want to tell ANYBODY not to mention EVERYBODY about this?
5) very strange, petty, mean, cruel, spoiled little man.

Posted by: Monica at January 12, 2023 04:33 PM (Ztr3O)

571 Over Under for when Harry Nuts does his first porno?

I hate these people.

Posted by: Czech Chick at January 12, 2023 04:33 PM (6Tc2R)

572 shakes GAF meter. Huh still nothing. I used to consider myself a pretty empathetic person, able to go "oh poor little royal kid, had to be hard being in the paparazzi sights and expected to meet royal standards" But in Mr Markle's case I just don't care.

Actually that is kind of my attitude for most dudes that attach(ed) themselves to crazy. "too bad, so sad, you should have been willing to settle for a grounded 7 or 8 instead of chasing the crazy but so hot beeoytch"

Posted by: PaleRider at January 12, 2023 04:34 PM (3cGpq)

573 The Cincy Running game was something they were not equipped to stop. So in bad weather, its hard to score throwing the ball and they got behind. Cincy controlled the game and pushed them all over the field. Later got embarrassed in Super Bowel. Typical.
Posted by: not a typo at January 12, 2023 04:31 PM (p9TtY)

the Bengals had the only 2 competitive Supers in the entire 80s, coming back from a deficit while having a goal line stand stopped as well. If Brady did it it would have been epic.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:34 PM (eoQWY)

574 I've been in extreme cold for long durations and never once froze my dick. I think Harry was walking around with his dick hanging out in the open.

Posted by: Archer at January 12, 2023 04:34 PM (gmo/4)

575 465 >No word on how a VP had classified docs?
Posted by: Lady in Black

Inadvertently, of course
Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:18 PM

(Points at Kamala)
The bitch framed me!

Posted by: President Biden, channeling the spirit of Marion Barry at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (JCZqz)

576 The actress who played Nancy’s sidekick Bet in Oliver! would later play Messalina in BBC’s I, Claudius. Don’t remember her name. Sheila something, I think.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (atmen)

577 ew. Explains a lot, though

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (0hOvj)

578 476 It doesn't explain how a VP without authority to have them had the documents to misplace them.

you'd be surprised. if you're not careful around classified documents, a gravitation vortex will suck them right into your pants. it's a side effect of einstein's top secret compartmentalized theory of relativity. you haven't heard about it, because you're not vetted.

Posted by: sandy burglar at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (v3pYe)

579 Is Oscillating Penis a good band name??

Posted by: runner at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (CV1nu)

580 Hell, I can't even answer that question about the my REAL girlfriends over the years.

One who ended in the Psych Ward? The Redhead who stole shit from me? The Brunette who tried to take by head off with a 2x4?... or hell, the Ex Wife, who just stomped all over my dreams of happily ever after.

Gotta admit one thing, they were all very different... I never make the same mistake twice... I always find a NEW mistake.
Posted by: Romeo13 at January 12, 2023

***
You've got me beat. The redhead who embezzled from our bank account, even faking the check register? Got to be No. 1.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (J2vNu)

581 283. Thanks, bluebell.

Prayers will continue.

Posted by: Lola - If you have to explain, I won't understand at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (p39Z2)

582 HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE HEAD!

Posted by: JackStraw at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (ZLI7S)

583 560 A totally normal thing that has always been happening to 33-year-olds all along.
Posted by: Dr. T at January 12, 2023 04:27 PM (bhRsz)
---
It's the bees.
Posted by: The Latest Doubletalk at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (krQz2)

Can we get past the insects????

Posted by: Coach Jimmy McGinty at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (oHd/0)

584 Gotta admit one thing, they were all very different... I never make the same mistake twice... I always find a NEW mistake.

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (oHd/0)

Atta boy!

Never give up, never surrender!

Posted by: Archer at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (gmo/4)

585 Catherine of Aragon: put away into a nunnery (?)
Anne Boleyn: Head lopped off
Jane Seymour: gave Henry a male heir and died
Anne of Cleves: "She is hideous; I have been deceived!"
Catherine Howard: Young, flirtatious, lost her head
Catherine Parr: took care of him in his last few years and outlived him

Divorced, beheaded, died.
Divorced, beheaded, survived

Posted by: Ignoramus at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (SJsWC)

586 Posted by: Romeo13 at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (oHd/0)

I had one who tried to brain me with a half-gallon milk bottle...the glass kind.

That might be a good thread topic....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:36 PM (XIJ/X)

587 Big guy. To say that he should work out would be insulting to fat positivity. Also, he's a fat slob that no woman should ever come close to touching because he's an incel grossness.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (LvTSG)

Also looks considerably older than 33.

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 12, 2023 04:36 PM (DRSnL)

588 It's the bees.
Posted by: The Latest Doubletalk at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (krQz2)
++++
NOOOOO! NOT THE BEES!!!!

Posted by: Nicholas Cage at January 12, 2023 04:36 PM (t0OGg)

589 I suspect the part about the frostbite is the lie.

Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist to the Stars at January 12, 2023 04:36 PM (Vu7A1)

590 The actress who played Nancy’s sidekick Bet in Oliver! would later play Messalina in BBC’s I, Claudius. Don’t remember her name. Sheila something, I think.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023

***
Sheila White. One of the reasons I want someday to name a girl cat "Messalina."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:36 PM (J2vNu)

591
I had one who tried to brain me with a half-gallon milk bottle...the glass kind.

That might be a good thread topic....
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:36 PM (XIJ/X)

Mom hit me on the top of the head with a 2x4 once. I saw stars and staggered for a moment or 2.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:37 PM (Zz0t1)

592 Hoping the GA Horde are OK right now. Nasty storms rolling around this afternoon.

Posted by: Brother Tim, still the worst commenter on the blog at January 12, 2023 04:37 PM (OUMaO)

593 "When I Applied The Cream to My Aching Penis, I Was Transported"

Imagine how good it would feel on a healthy dick.

Posted by: Ride The Non-Operating Reefer With gp at January 12, 2023 04:38 PM (24fqN)

594 The actress who played Nancy’s sidekick Bet in Oliver! would later play Messalina in BBC’s I, Claudius. Don’t remember her name. Sheila something, I think.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 04:35 PM (atmen)

I recall she had quite the scream. Her execution scene after the rebellion and party was great - she couldn't knife herself so the guard grabs her hair, starts a full swing and the camera spins with the swing to avoid seeing the rest.

Another highlight of that show is seeing Picard with hair, trying to convince his girlfriend to let him marry her daughter to become emperor.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:38 PM (eoQWY)

595 Wafflers schtick was eating weird stuff. Heart attack waiting to happen

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 12, 2023 04:38 PM (dHzaG)

596 Hoping the GA Horde are OK right now. Nasty storms rolling around this afternoon.
Posted by: Brother Tim, still the worst commenter on the blog at January 12, 2023

***
We're supposed to get some storms in Lousy-ana and Da Swamp this pm. Good luck to everybody.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:38 PM (J2vNu)

597 486 I still think Harry and William are half-brothers

Posted by: DB - you know my name at January 12, 2023 04:16 PM (geLO

-------

"She's my mother!
She's my sister!
She's my mother AND my sister!"

Posted by: ShainS -- Ctrl+Galt+Delete to remove the The Great Reset malware virus at January 12, 2023 04:21 PM (KpV4B)
----
Yesterday we had 'cis-ter'

Posted by: Ciampino --- Red and hirsute at January 12, 2023 04:39 PM (qfLjt)

598 Hoping the GA Horde are OK right now. Nasty storms rolling around this afternoon.
Posted by: Brother Tim, still the worst commenter on the blog at January 12, 2023 04:37 PM (OUMaO)

TCU fans have been doing some revenge praying....

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:39 PM (eoQWY)

599 Um, your dick was frostbite but not your toes/fingers/ears/nose?

No, bro.

You've been over wanking to moms pic

Posted by: dagny, first of her name at January 12, 2023 04:39 PM (j+FHS)

600 Messalina was another toxic wife.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 04:39 PM (atmen)

601 I just want to say good luck, we're all counting on you.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:39 PM (LvTSG)

602 the Bengals had the only 2 competitive Supers in the entire 80s, coming back from a deficit while having a goal line stand stopped as well. If Brady did it it would have been epic.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:34 PM (eoQWY)
-----

The Bengals were stopping the 49ers until Krumrie went down with a broken leg. Gruesome injury, his leg flopping like that.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at January 12, 2023 04:39 PM (5pTK/)

603 Harry, the Paolo has, how you say, been around and enjoyed many peculiarities, but you are ONE. SICK. BITCH!

Posted by: The Paolo at January 12, 2023 04:40 PM (qoGsy)

604 Also, Charles didn't hug Harry enough and William strong-armed Harry in a sibling scuffle.

This is the beginnings of Harry's PTSD.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 12, 2023 04:40 PM (Er3sM)

605 Another highlight of that show is seeing Picard with hair, trying to convince his girlfriend to let him marry her daughter to become emperor.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023

***
His scene in bed with Tiberius's daughter (I think it was) is erotic not because of nudity, but because of the dialogue. Mmmm.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:40 PM (J2vNu)

606 Sheila White. One of the reasons I want someday to name a girl cat "Messalina."
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:36 PM (J2vNu)

I had a cat named Calpurnia, and still have one named Rhea Silvia. The boys are named for generals. Its important to give your cats street cred. "Muffin" just doesn't cut it on the mean streets of your neighborhood.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:41 PM (eoQWY)

607 WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

The lad needs serious help.

Also, how did his friend know this?
She'd been rubbing it on cold, frostbitten dicks?
Must be good money in that.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at January 12, 2023 04:41 PM (VldJx)

608 It's the bees. Posted by: The Latest Doubletalk at January 12, 2023 04:32 PM (krQz2)

they are in it with the spiders! they stole my food stamps, and when I went down to honk my horn for help they -jammed the police lock. I ain't been inside for a WEEK!

Posted by: Kindltot at January 12, 2023 04:41 PM (xhaym)

609 Are we sure Harry's talking about the lips around mum's mouth?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:41 PM (Zz0t1)

610 Sejanus’ gf/wife was Claudius’ sister.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 04:42 PM (atmen)

611 Who cares about his penis. What's the status of his birdbath?

Posted by: fd at January 12, 2023 04:42 PM (iayUP)

612 This is the beginnings of Harry's PTSD.

Harry's PSTD = Putrid Stinky Tiny Dick

Posted by: Archer at January 12, 2023 04:42 PM (gmo/4)

613 Jesus

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 12, 2023 04:43 PM (Irn0L)

614 573 - put down the crack pipe. They were never really in it. Threatened some in the third, but never closed.

"Things did not go to plan for the Bengals in the Super Bowl itself. In the first Super Bowl appearance in Bengals franchise history, they found themselves down 20-0 at the half. Despite a spirited fightback to 20-14 in the third quarter, the Bengals could never take the lead. Ray Wersching kicked a further 2 field goals to secure a 26-21 victory for the 49ers."

Posted by: An offensive brute, run, pass or boot at January 12, 2023 04:43 PM (Qx1Tk)

615 Popping in to say that seriously can't be in the book.

This kid wants to embarrass himself so badly there's no coming back from it.

He wants to take Andrew's place as the gross pariah of the family.

This wouldn't have been on my Bingo card, pre-Me-again...

Posted by: Nova Local at January 12, 2023 04:43 PM (exHjb)

616 His scene in bed with Tiberius's daughter (I think it was) is erotic not because of nudity, but because of the dialogue. Mmmm.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:40 PM (J2vNu)

The wife of Tiberius' son, who they poisoned. She was Claudius' sister.

Another great scene was when Claudius' mother asks Tiberius to let her punish her herself, and locks her in a room and sits outside until she starves to punish herself for raising such a terrible daughter.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:43 PM (eoQWY)

617 I had a trombone that I named Calpurnia.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 04:43 PM (atmen)

618 Another highlight of that show is seeing Picard with hair, trying to convince his girlfriend to let him marry her daughter to become emperor.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:38 PM (eoQWY)

50 Quatloos says that was a rug.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 12, 2023 04:43 PM (BTgKJ)

619 If you're in the frozen tundra and the only thing that gets frostbite is your cock, you're doing something INCREDIBLY wrong.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:43 PM (Zz0t1)

620 Prayers up for Jane D’oh family.
May you find rest, light in the darkness and know we have your back.

RE marrying an athlete…not sure that one is preferred, See Prince Albert in Monaco .

Posted by: Paisley at January 12, 2023 04:44 PM (ny1NG)

621 One of my boys hit another in the head with a lead pipe when we were having a kitchen reno. Since they were in the refrigerator box at the time, I figured he didn't get a good swing so meh.

I did keep the toddler protective foam on the hearth til they all went to college. They were bound to wrestle into it.

Posted by: dagny, first of her name at January 12, 2023 04:44 PM (j+FHS)

622 The Bengals were stopping the 49ers until Krumrie went down with a broken leg. Gruesome injury, his leg flopping like that.
==
That dude was the awesome. I mean he got a lot out mileage out of what the good Lord gave him.

Posted by: An offensive brute, run, pass or boot at January 12, 2023 04:44 PM (8jG8t)

623 What's amazing is the book editor not seeing the problem here. Harry's an idiot so he has an excuse.

Posted by: Indignacio Vindacatorem at January 12, 2023 04:45 PM (oWBc3)

624 573 - put down the crack pipe. They were never really in it. Threatened some in the third, but never closed.

"Things did not go to plan for the Bengals in the Super Bowl itself. In the first Super Bowl appearance in Bengals franchise history, they found themselves down 20-0 at the half. Despite a spirited fightback to 20-14 in the third quarter, the Bengals could never take the lead. Ray Wersching kicked a further 2 field goals to secure a 26-21 victory for the 49ers."
Posted by: An offensive brute, run, pass or boot at January 12, 2023 04:43 PM (Qx1Tk)

I stand by that.

The mean 80s Superbowl score was like 40-10. We did get behind but did get close, even getting a 50 yard pass on 4th and 40.

There was the year Washington scored 35 points in the second quarter.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:45 PM (eoQWY)

625 The Bengals were stopping the 49ers until Krumrie went down with a broken leg. Gruesome injury, his leg flopping like that.
==
Do you think the 49ers had a bounty on him?

Posted by: An offensive brute, run, pass or boot at January 12, 2023 04:45 PM (8jG8t)

626 Anybody wanna know what I call my big guy?

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:45 PM (Vu7A1)

627 Harry does his own audio books. We need to get a sound clip of that and place it in the sidebar.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (Er3sM)

628 It puts the lotion on it's dong.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (Y5qcH)

629 626 Anybody wanna know what I call my big guy?
Posted by: Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:45 PM (Vu7A

=========

$5 says it's Beau.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (LvTSG)

630 If you're in the frozen tundra and the only thing that gets frostbite is your cock, you're doing something INCREDIBLY wrong.
Posted by: Sponge

Seriously. During winter training the biggest problem was getting three inches of pene out of six inches of foul weather gear to pee.

Posted by: Tonypete at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (qoGsy)

631 I have no idea about his service, but that's an absolutely par for the course joke for combat arms. In fact, maybe a little mild.

Posted by: joe at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (ej+zn)

632 620 Prayers up for Jane D’oh family.

Me too.... Prayers

Posted by: It's me donna at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (bs+z0)

633 I stand by that.

The mean 80s Superbowl score was like 40-10.
==
that's a low bar. You damned them with faint praise. I stand by that.

Posted by: An offensive brute, run, pass or boot at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (8jG8t)

634 579 Is Oscillating Penis a good band name??

I saw Oscillating Penis open for What's the Frequency Kenneth at 3Com stadium back in the naughties.

Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (v3pYe)

635 Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 12, 2023 04:46 PM (Er3sM)

Find it and I will post it.

cbd dot aoshq at geemail dot com

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 12, 2023 04:47 PM (XIJ/X)

636 Anybody wanna know what I call my big guy?
Posted by: Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:45 PM (Vu7A1)

Predator?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:47 PM (Zz0t1)

637 She's my mother!
She's my sister!
She's my mother AND my sister!"
Posted by: ShainS

So you're from Kentucky

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at January 12, 2023 04:47 PM (NW9xb)

638 Local news is showing a woman with a Danish(?) accent telling us for a need for bee vaccines.

Help us Lord.

Posted by: Golfman at January 12, 2023 04:48 PM (BLVc0)

639 The Bengals were stopping the 49ers until Krumrie went down with a broken leg. Gruesome injury, his leg flopping like that.
==
That dude was the awesome. I mean he got a lot out mileage out of what the good Lord gave him.
Posted by: An offensive brute, run, pass or boot at January 12, 2023 04:44 PM (8jG8t)

That was their second super bowl in 88. The injury was early. Also, one of our RBs had a coke relapse the night before and Esiason had some arm injury that made him virtually painful to watch throw. When the 49ers went up we ran back a kickoff to regain the lead. At another point a end-zone INT was dropped. We took the lead again but Montana put together a famous drive and won it.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:48 PM (eoQWY)

640 Harry Jesus no.

Posted by: Fetterman's Lump at January 12, 2023 04:48 PM (AD14M)

641 His platoon mates made a snow hooker and Harry just HAD to f*ck it?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:48 PM (Zz0t1)

642 That crap is just the top of the iceberg. He has another paragraph where he discusses how he remembers that when he was born Diana cried out in the room. Thank you to Megan. And then when he met Megan, he realized that she was supposed to be her soulmate because of what he heard his mom say in the delivery room as he popped his little head out of her vag. This guy is below a beta!

Posted by: keena at January 12, 2023 04:48 PM (RiTnx)

643 Big guy. To say that he should work out would be insulting to fat positivity. Also, he's a fat slob that no woman should ever come close to touching because he's an incel grossness.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:28 PM (LvTSG)

Read the link. Yeah, that one, maybe the clot shot didn't get.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 12, 2023 04:48 PM (tkR6S)

644 638 Local news is showing a woman with a Danish(?) accent telling us for a need for bee vaccines.

Help us Lord.
Posted by: Golfman at January 12, 2023 04:48 PM (BLVc0)

How do you hold them still long enough to vaccinate them?

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 12, 2023 04:49 PM (BTgKJ)

645 Prayers for Janes husband.

Posted by: Jen the original at January 12, 2023 04:49 PM (y0TXe)

646 The Bengals were stopping the 49ers until Krumrie went down with a broken leg. Gruesome injury, his leg flopping like that.
---
OK, Boomer

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 04:49 PM (krQz2)

647 The US Army is considering a radical shift in how they recruit. Facing severe recruitment woes and a youth population that’s literally too fat to fight, the Army is going to reward soldiers regardless “of rank or grade” to earn another piece of flair; an Army recruit referral ribbon. Send someone to the recruiter who signs and ships? You get a fancy little ribbon to show that, like Emperor Palpatine, you’ve converted another to the Dark Side.

https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=135890

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:49 PM (RU4sa)

648 Local news is showing a woman with a Danish(?) accent telling us for a need for bee vaccines.

Help us Lord.
Posted by: Golfman at January 12, 2023

***
Two challenges: getting the little buggers to line up, and finding a spot for the needle

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at January 12, 2023 04:49 PM (J2vNu)

649 Trump's breath is so bad that he needs a mouth transplant .

Posted by: Dorcus Blimlime at January 12, 2023 04:50 PM (9cZJH)

650 Local news is showing a woman with a Danish(?) accent telling us for a need for bee vaccines.

Help us Lord.
Posted by: Golfman at January 12, 2023 04:48 PM (BLVc0)

The 'vaccine' is killing humans at such a rate, we need to destroy ALL of nature by killing off the entire bee population?

Stupid cünt.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:50 PM (Zz0t1)

651 He’s also a complete nut job with quite a hit of a liar thrown in!

Posted by: keena at January 12, 2023 04:50 PM (RiTnx)

652 Harry will be selling Mary Kay stuff and drive around in a pink Morris Minor.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at January 12, 2023 04:51 PM (lz5hY)

653 The Bengals were stopping the 49ers until Krumrie went down with a broken leg. Gruesome injury, his leg flopping like that.
==
Do you think the 49ers had a bounty on him?
Posted by: An offensive brute, run, pass or boot at January 12, 2023 04:45 PM (8jG8t)

I don't think he even got hit on that play, just planted the leg and it shattered. I could be wrong, I never spent time looking for replays.

It isn't like Kimo did to Palmer.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:51 PM (eoQWY)

654 Ace doing shelving today?

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 04:51 PM (3byMq)

655 had a cat named Calpurnia, and still have one named Rhea Silvia. The boys are named for generals. Its important to give your cats street cred. "Muffin" just doesn't cut it on the mean streets of your neighborhood.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:41 PM (eoQWY)

Had a cat named Jezebel once. She ruled the neighborhood.

Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at January 12, 2023 04:51 PM (BdMk6)

656 The US Army is considering a radical shift in how they recruit. Facing severe recruitment woes and a youth population that’s literally too fat to fight, the Army is going to reward soldiers regardless “of rank or grade” to earn another piece of flair; an Army recruit referral ribbon. Send someone to the recruiter who signs and ships? You get a fancy little ribbon to show that, like Emperor Palpatine, you’ve converted another to the Dark Side.

https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=135890
Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:49 PM (RU4sa)

You mean, trannies aren't lining up around the block to enlist and serve?

BUT YOU'RE CATERING TO THEM!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:51 PM (Zz0t1)

657 The Julio-Claudian Dynasty was perhaps even more effed up than the Windsors.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 04:51 PM (atmen)

658 Extra protection against frostbite is why Harry keeps his genitals in Megan's purse.

He does not want to go through that again.

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 04:52 PM (krQz2)

659 Is there a such thing as a mouth transplant ???

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at January 12, 2023 04:52 PM (R+nZe)

660 the CDC is rumored to have an advertising unit that is focused on selling Moderna products

Oh, and the FDA has said it is no longer essential to test new vaccines on animals before releasing them to humans.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 12, 2023 04:52 PM (xhaym)

661 You mean, trannies aren't lining up around the block to enlist and serve?

BUT YOU'RE CATERING TO THEM!!!
Posted by: Sponge
___

Heh, guess not.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:52 PM (RU4sa)

662 Send someone to the recruiter who signs and ships? You get a fancy little ribbon to show that, like Emperor Palpatine, you’ve converted another to the Dark Side.

https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=135890
Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:49 PM

You have got. To be. Fucking. Kidding me.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 04:53 PM (W+1dx)

663 >>>Find it and I will post it.

cbd dot aoshq at geemail dot com

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

>Oh crap. It's on the hot air link.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 12, 2023 04:53 PM (Er3sM)

664 I trained in some freezing weather but I seldom took my dick out. Did warm the area up a few times while in 40 degree water up to my waist, the natural way.

Posted by: Javems at January 12, 2023 04:53 PM (AmoqO)

665 The whole, "turn the military against the populace" doesn't really work if the populace is better armed and better able to fight and also much larger than the military.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:53 PM (LvTSG)

666 . . . so Harry generously applied the cream to his semi-erect penis and quickly searched YouTube for archived episodes of 'Suits'

Posted by: Sphynx at January 12, 2023 04:53 PM (P6qMv)

667 The 'vaccine' is killing humans at such a rate, we need to destroy ALL of nature by killing off the entire bee population?

Stupid cünt.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at January 12, 2023 04:50 PM (Zz0t1)

Can't off the humans. They have free will. Let's do the bees. No pollination. No food.

Bet Bill Gates is behind this.

Posted by: Golfman at January 12, 2023 04:54 PM (BLVc0)

668 Harry was a Royal Marine and a Stud serving in Bosnia and now he is the biggest pussy whipped little pecker head around. What happened to him ????

Is Markle that good of a lay or good with the oral cavity ??

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at January 12, 2023 04:54 PM (R+nZe)

669 Saint Hudson’s Day Speech

Prince Harry: What’s ze that wishes so? My cousin Westwhoreland?

No, my fairy queen: If we are mark’d to dive, we are enow to do our panties loss; and if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of action. God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one Provincetown pickle sniffer more. By Jove, I am not covetous for gold, Nor care I who doth feed upon my hog; It yearns me not if women my garments wear;

Such outward things dwell not in my Twitter desires:
But if it be a sin to covet honour of Elton John, I am the most offending rear admiral alive. No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England: A queen’s piece! I would not lose so great an honour.

As one man more, methinks, would share from me. For the best poke I have. O, do not wish one more!

Rather proclaim it, Westwhoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this packing the pipe, Let him depart; his passport shall be made and crowns for convoy put into his purse: We would not tickle our beards in that man’s company, that fears zim fellowship to die with us.

This day is called the feast of Rock Hudson.

Posted by: Levin at January 12, 2023 04:54 PM (kk8TL)

670 666 . . . so Harry generously applied the cream to his semi-erect penis and quickly searched YouTube for archived ~~episodes of 'Suits'~~ public appearances of Princess Di
Posted by: Sphynx at January 12, 2023 04:53 PM (P6qMv)

==========

FIFY.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:54 PM (LvTSG)

671 Whoa! I got post No. 666. Yikes.

Posted by: Sphynx at January 12, 2023 04:54 PM (P6qMv)

672 Do you think the 49ers had a bounty on him?
Posted by: An offensive brute, run, pass or boot at January 12, 2023 04:45 PM (8jG8t)
-----

I seem to recall Krumrie planting the leg and it just buckled. I don't believe there was any headhunting involved.

Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at January 12, 2023 04:55 PM (5pTK/)

673 what more can be said on this subject?

Posted by: DanMan at January 12, 2023 04:55 PM (DB6tu)

674 I trained in some freezing weather but I seldom took my dick out. Did warm the area up a few times while in 40 degree water up to my waist, the natural way.
Posted by: Javems at January 12, 2023 04:53 PM

Spent time at Drum. Can't say I ever worried about getting dick frostbite. Harry ain't doing something right.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 04:55 PM (W+1dx)

675 Queen Elizabeth seemed like a decent sort of person. Everyone else in that family are useless jerks.

Posted by: Jack Squat Bupkis at January 12, 2023 04:55 PM (GD2xa)

676 I saw Oscillating Penis at the Hollywood Bowl.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at January 12, 2023 04:56 PM (fKIdX)

677 283. Thanks, bluebell.

Prayers will continue.
Posted by: Lola - If you have to explain, I won't understand

Seconded !

Posted by: JT at January 12, 2023 04:56 PM (T4tVD)

678 Still penis.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at January 12, 2023 04:56 PM (Mzdiz)

679 647 The US Army is considering a radical shift in how they recruit. Facing severe recruitment woes and a youth population that’s literally too fat to fight, the Army is going to reward soldiers regardless “of rank or grade” to earn another piece of flair; an Army recruit referral ribbon. Send someone to the recruiter who signs and ships? You get a fancy little ribbon to show that, like Emperor Palpatine, you’ve converted another to the Dark Side.

-----

They really want them to mean nothing. Idiots.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:56 PM (DcKNO)

680 >Spent time at Drum. Can't say I ever worried about getting dick frostbite. Harry ain't doing something right.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 04:55 PM (W+1dx)

I rubbing my junk and thinking about me mum is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Posted by: Harry Markel at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (NgqoH)

681 659 Well, they do face transplants now, so kinda, I guess. At least the outside of the mouth?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (atmen)

682 had a cat named Calpurnia, and still have one named Rhea Silvia. The boys are named for generals. Its important to give your cats street cred. "Muffin" just doesn't cut it on the mean streets of your neighborhood.
Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:41 PM (eoQWY)
-------
Have you seen the Muffin cat? The Muffin cat? The Muffin cat?
Have you seen the Muffin cat? He rules all of Drury Lane.

Posted by: Another Anon at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (XRMQ8)

683 The whole, "turn the military against the populace" doesn't really work if the populace is better armed and better able to fight and also much larger than the military.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 04:53 PM (LvTSG

Now. Not so much in 1950.

Posted by: Golfman at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (BLVc0)

684 You have got. To be. Fucking. Kidding me.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState
___

Oh, I wish I was.

The Good Idea Fairy strikes again.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (RU4sa)

685 I think this whole thing is a fabrication, like a male Madonna (the singer) whoring for attention by sexual shock value. Totally scripted, jeez wonder where that came from.

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (DsA2n)

686 I seem to recall Krumrie planting the leg and it just buckled. I don't believe there was any headhunting involved.
Posted by: Blake - semi lurker at large at January 12, 2023 04:55 PM (5pTK/)

Buckled in the middle of the shin. Yikes. Compound Fracture IIRC

Dude stayed in the locker room for the rest of the game. Tough as nails.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (eoQWY)

687 Posted by: Levin at January 12, 2023 04:54 PM

*golf clap*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (W+1dx)

688 Guess it takes a long time to get cream out of Ewok pelts.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (BTgKJ)

689 https://is.gd/LGsd3O

Hank I-can-see-the-bottom-of-Guam Johnson says the Biden documents could have been planted.

Hey Hank! Biden said they were completely secure next to his vet!
Pay no attention to the Chinese spy who shared his office with 'secure' files at Penn!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (weA3C)

690 671 Whoa! I got post No. 666. Yikes.
Posted by: Sphynx at January 12, 2023 04:54 PM (P6qMv)

Six-six-six, the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released!

Posted by: Iron Maiden? Excellent! at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (s2na+)

691 I saw Oscillating Penis open for Pussy Riot . . . Or was it Pussy Riot opening for Oscillating Penis??

Posted by: Sphynx at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM (P6qMv)

692 Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (R+nZe)

693 Oh, I wish I was.

The Good Idea Fairy strikes again.
Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:57 PM

Someone needs to hunt that bitch down.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (W+1dx)

694 668 Harry was a Royal Marine and a Stud serving in Bosnia and now he is the biggest pussy whipped little pecker head around. What happened to him ????

--------

It was all a PR facade. We have no idea what he really did. At this point, we shouldn't believe anything we read or hear from the media.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (DcKNO)

695 BREAKING NEWS
Instagram star blames large breasts on father's beer
JOE KINSEY FROM OUTKICK 10:20 AM on January 12, 2023
OutKick pageview legend Veronika Rajek is making news around the world for claiming her boobs became huge after spending a summer drinking her dad’s beer.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (fs1hN)

696 Queen Elizabeth seemed like a decent sort of person. Everyone else in that family are useless jerks.

Her sisters were all trashy sluts too, I think the whole family is just a mess with rare exceptions.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (0hOvj)

697 Fat Kitty don't allow no nonsense

Posted by: x at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (ZBPE2)

698 692 Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.

indeed. this whole situation has all the earmarks of a russian disinformation op.

Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (v3pYe)

699 Someone needs to hunt that bitch down.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState
___

Lives in the five-sided nuthouse, so good luck with that.

Posted by: SMH at what's coming at January 12, 2023 04:59 PM (RU4sa)

700 OutKick pageview legend Veronika Rajek is making news around the world for claiming her boobs became huge after spending a summer drinking her dad’s beer.
Posted by: Chuck Martel at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (fs1hN)

It's all the phytoestrogens from the hops.

Posted by: Why do you think "beer titties" are a thing? at January 12, 2023 04:59 PM (s2na+)

701 698 692 Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.

indeed. this whole situation has all the earmarks of a russian disinformation op.
Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda at January 12, 2023 04:58 PM (v3pYe)

========

Rich Lowry? Is that you?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 05:00 PM (LvTSG)

702 689 Hey Hank! Biden said they were completely secure next to his vet!

biden keeps his vet locked in his garage next to his vette?

Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda at January 12, 2023 05:00 PM (v3pYe)

703 Elizabeth II only had one sister, Margaret. But she was, apparently, a piece of work.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at January 12, 2023 05:00 PM (atmen)

704 "Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.
Posted by: Ferd Berfall"

I predicted someone would say that this morning. Trump planted them when he was President. Figures one of the dumbest people on the planet would say it first.

Posted by: fd at January 12, 2023 05:00 PM (iayUP)

705 CNN is reporting that they saw Putin and Trump around Biden's Garage last week....

698 692 Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.

indeed. this whole situation has all the earmarks of a russian disinformation op.

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at January 12, 2023 05:01 PM (R+nZe)

706 Veronika Rajek is making news around the world for claiming her boobs became huge after spending a summer drinking her dad’s beer.
Posted by: Chuck Martel

They keep skipping the part she was naked while drinking dad's beer in the backyard.
It's in the details!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at January 12, 2023 05:01 PM (weA3C)

707 704 "Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.
Posted by: Ferd Berfall"

I predicted someone would say that this morning. Trump planted them when he was President. Figures one of the dumbest people on the planet would say it first.
Posted by: fd at January 12, 2023 05:00 PM (iayUP)

========

I am curious what the Democratic Underground is saying about Hank Johnson right now. Not curious enough to check, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 05:01 PM (LvTSG)

708 One of the gags in the 1st Jackass movie was when a guy put a toy car inside a condom, put it up his ass, and then went to a doctor. The doc told him, "You told your friend about this. That's already too many people. Don't tell anyone else."
Solid advice, Harry. You should listen to the movie Jackass.

Posted by: Wally at January 12, 2023 05:02 PM (UEzis)

709 Like Harrys frostbiten penis, this thread is still twitching.

Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist to the Stars at January 12, 2023 05:02 PM (Vu7A1)

710 675: Can't say that I know but Will and princess Kate seem to manage the royal duties of appearing at all those public events and being pleasant well enough. Not a mentally or physically tough job; but still not everyone can manage it.

Posted by: PaleRider at January 12, 2023 05:02 PM (3cGpq)

711 Whoa! Now 3 count'em 3 locations?

No tapioca for Joey tonight.

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 05:03 PM (3byMq)

712 Raining pretty good here.....

Posted by: JT at January 12, 2023 05:03 PM (T4tVD)

713 Git'cher Harry Markle, Ginger Merkins here. $69.69 cheap.

Posted by: Marooned at January 12, 2023 05:03 PM (w6hJ9)

714 Sundowner better start a night of long knives if he has Russian plants under him

Posted by: Skip at January 12, 2023 05:03 PM (xhxe8)

715 Did Ace go out for a pack of smokes never to return?

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 05:04 PM (3byMq)

716 Whoa! Now 3 count'em 3 locations?

No tapioca for Joey tonight.

Bets that classified documents will be found in a bunch of different Biden locations?

Posted by: The ARC of History! at January 12, 2023 05:04 PM (2tUFv)

717
British Head of State, WWI: "I'm changing our name, kids. Fuck the Krauts."

American Head of State, WoT: "Islam is a Religion of Peace"

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 12, 2023 05:04 PM (oINRc)

718 Seems Legit: "...the Army is going to reward soldiers regardless 'of rank or grade' to earn another piece of flair; an Army recruit referral ribbon. Send someone to the recruiter who signs and ships? You get a fancy little ribbon to show that, like Emperor Palpatine, you've converted another to the Dark Side.

They really want them to mean nothing. Idiots."

And when that fails, another ribbon will be granted for posting a "Like It" or "Thumbs Up emoji" on the Official US Army web page. Cheerleading Above and Beyond the Call of Duty.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at January 12, 2023 05:04 PM (aXxgO)

719 Seems like a long time ago we would have had a headline like "Please do not open the Link Below" and curiosity would get the better of me and I would click and get Yoko or Testicled Spiderman.

The the headline itself makes me was to chug some brain bleach all on its own. At least give me a below the fold warning on this headline.

Posted by: Picric at January 12, 2023 05:05 PM (13tTk)

720 I have been to Ft Irwin and Ft Drum, Minot and Grand Folks AFB, Plattsburgh and Loring AFB, Cold Lake CFB and my penis never got frost bitten even when it was -30+ below zero in these tropical paradises.

This guy needs to change his tampon ASAP !!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at January 12, 2023 05:05 PM (R+nZe)

721 "Bets that classified documents will be found in a bunch of different Biden locations?
Posted by: The ARC of History! "

Yes.

Posted by: fd at January 12, 2023 05:05 PM (iayUP)

722 Sundowner better start a night of long knives if he has Russian plants under him
Posted by: Skip at January 12, 2023 05:03 PM (xhxe

Beets?

Posted by: Kindltot at January 12, 2023 05:05 PM (xhaym)

723 Trump's possession of confidential documents is unprecedented, except for all the precedents.

Posted by: Wally at January 12, 2023 05:06 PM (UEzis)

724 I've had a spare like Harry. In the trunk of an old car. Cracked, flaccid and bald.

Posted by: Napoleon XIV at January 12, 2023 05:06 PM (AiZBA)

725 "Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said he isn't ruling out foul play in the discovery of classified documents found in President Joe Biden's possession, suggesting they could have been planted.

Not possible. That garage is locked! No one could get there. Joe said so himself.

Posted by: Oddbob at January 12, 2023 05:06 PM (nfrXX)

726 721 "Bets that classified documents will be found in a bunch of different Biden locations?

Under a stack of Playboy and Penhouse Magazines he was hiding from Jill in the Garage next to the sticky towel collection.

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at January 12, 2023 05:06 PM (R+nZe)

727 715 Did Ace go out for a pack of smokes never to return?

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 05:04 PM (3byMq)

Elizabeth Arden products may be hard to find in NYC today.

Posted by: Gref at January 12, 2023 05:07 PM (AMIL/)

728 Joey claiming to be Clarence Oddbody

'twasn't me!

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 05:07 PM (3byMq)

729 Somebody warn Mayor Pete of the coming supply chain shortage of Elizabeth Arden peniScream.

Posted by: Marooned at January 12, 2023 05:07 PM (w6hJ9)

730 If your penis oscillates for more than four hours, seek help from your mother.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at January 12, 2023 05:08 PM (Er3sM)

731 Sundowner better start a night of long knives if he has Russian plants under him
Posted by: Skip at January 12, 2023 05:03 PM

If I had this Russian plant under me, I would not be complaining:

https://tinyurl.com/29vmrsps

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 12, 2023 05:08 PM (tkR6S)

732 From the EMT:

Galaxy-brain takes from DU:

Seriously, this document issue with Biden makes Trump look all the worse. Bidens lawyers informed the White House immediately (who to be honest could have just said, bring them back to the White House if he were a Trump like character and no one would have known diddly squat).. but they did the right thing.. sent them back through the right channels, informed the right people.. did NOT spend a year in the courts trying to hide hundreds of classified documents.. (which makes those empty highly classified folders even more incriminating..

This all makes Trump and his allies who tried to help him hide it look all the more guilty..

We have to keep this the message, control the narrative. Keep showing the contrast cause the media wants to go with a misleading headline.

Trump has been saying for weeks when are the feds going to search Joe Biden properties. A SS agent was bitten by Joe Biden's dog in the White House and the agent was not suppose to be in the private living area. What was he doing there? The documents were planted!!!
Posted by: Intrepid Democratic Underground AoS Liaison at January 12, 2023 09:14 AM (JCZqz)

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at January 12, 2023 05:08 PM (Vwz3I)

733 Solution...... Don't wack-off when the temperature is below freezing.

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (R+nZe)

734 716 Bets that classified documents will be found in a bunch of different Biden locations?

have they been checking dr. jill's underwear drawers?

Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (v3pYe)

735 What's more secure?

A locked garage?

Or a room you created in the middle of your house to be secure enough to store documents?

And again, Donald Trump had the authority to declassify documents. VP Joe didn't.

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (krQz2)

736 what grit sandpaper? something something Vincent Gambini er, Jerry Callo not Gallo that's a fine wine.

Posted by: micky at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (3byMq)

737 Napoleon didn't get a frozen pee pee on his retreat from Russia.

Posted by: Archer at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (gmo/4)

738 735 What's more secure?

A locked garage?

Or a room you created in the middle of your house to be secure enough to store documents?

And again, Donald Trump had the authority to declassify documents. VP Joe didn't.
Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (krQz2)

=======

And that the FBI locked and lost the key to.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, navigating a corrupt and violent world with Clint Eastwood at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (LvTSG)

739 have they been checking dr. jill's underwear drawers?
Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (v3pYe)
---
What? That's perverted!

Posted by: FIB Top Man at January 12, 2023 05:09 PM (krQz2)

740 Had a cat named Jezebel once. She ruled the neighborhood.
Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at January 12, 2023 04:51 PM (BdMk6)
-----------
Didn't have a run-in with a cat named Jehu, son of Nimshi?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at January 12, 2023 05:10 PM (XlE1Z)

741
If you're in the frozen tundra and the only thing that gets frostbite is your cock, you're doing something INCREDIBLY wrong.
Posted by: Sponge

Dood, I spent 4 years in the Infantry on the Alaskan tundra, I have a cool certificate for the 6th Div 50 Below Club and you are absofuckinglutely correct. In fact if you think about it, smearing lotion all over your schlong that has probably been stored in an outside pocket of your ruck is likely a great way to get frostdick.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 12, 2023 05:10 PM (n+4am)

742 What's more secure?

Who cares? its an utterly irrelevant question. Either the documents are legal to possess or they are not, where you keep them is irrelevant to the law.

It is not legal for Biden to have these documents.
It is legal for Trump to have those documents.

Period.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 12, 2023 05:11 PM (0hOvj)

743 I remember a Saturday Night Live Skit where some guy's wife get his balls and dick in her purse and he was begging her to let him wear them to go out with the guys bowling.

She said what do you need them for if you are only going bowling and the answer is NO !!!!!

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at January 12, 2023 05:11 PM (R+nZe)

744 Nood - Next Twooter Dump

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at January 12, 2023 05:11 PM (BTgKJ)

745 have they been checking dr. jill's underwear drawers?

I have a weak stomach.

Posted by: FBI agent Jones at January 12, 2023 05:12 PM (Vu7A1)

746 741 smearing lotion all over your schlong that has probably been stored in an outside pocket of your ruck is likely a great way to get frostdick.

detachable penis?

Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda at January 12, 2023 05:12 PM (v3pYe)

747 Ginger H's wife is a kunt. Ginger H is a child. His mom was an adulteress kunt. His dad is obviously a BDSM slave kunt. They're all bints, these EuroTrash.

Posted by: Despise the Royal Parasites & Harrys with labia at January 12, 2023 05:14 PM (5DfsO)

748 did NOT spend a year in the courts trying to hide hundreds of classified documents.. (which makes those empty highly classified folders even more incriminating..

---
Keeping documents he may have been entitled to keep as a former President of the United States, you moron.

Just like Obama did with 30 million documents.

Why don't your man-apes just get that?!

Posted by: Axeman at January 12, 2023 05:15 PM (krQz2)

749
detachable penis?
Posted by: stochastic kulak anachronda

This was the late 80s. Detachable penii weren't invented until King Missile came out in '94.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 12, 2023 05:15 PM (n+4am)

750 Was looking for a 1K thread

Posted by: Skip at January 12, 2023 05:23 PM (xhxe8)

751 NOOD

Posted by: Prime Sister at January 12, 2023 05:24 PM (tQL7r)

752 101 Why are the English saddled with the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha? Can't they find a Stewart to run things?
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at January 12, 2023 03:47 PM (yQpMk)

I think all of the surviving Stewarts are Papists.

Posted by: Fox2! at January 12, 2023 05:41 PM (iZPr8)

753 " telling us for a need for bee vaccines."

A bee vaccine against' COVID, or against something that actually affects bees?

Posted by: FeatherBlade at January 12, 2023 05:43 PM (CQIw/)

754 Hmm well that's weird. Sounds like I should really care about what he has to say about....I guess everything. Sicko

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at January 12, 2023 05:47 PM (ztQ7U)

755 Harry is exactly why we fought two wars to kick those pervs outta North America.

Posted by: setnaffa at January 12, 2023 06:53 PM (WgEgc)

756 I am making $90 an hour working from home. I never imagined that it was honest to goodness yet my closest companion is earning $16,000 a month by working on a laptop, that was truly astounding for me, she prescribed for me to attempt it simply.
Here's what I've been doing.. www.Payathome7.com

Posted by: www.Payathome7.com at January 13, 2023 07:56 AM (ZfrIi)

757
Making money online is more than $15k just by doing simple work from home. I received $18376 last month. It's an easy and simple job to do and its earnings are much better than regular office jobs and even a little child can do this and earn money. Everybody must try this job by just use the info on this page..... www.Salarybez.com

Posted by: Emily Johnson at January 13, 2023 09:13 AM (EyQTO)

758 Making money online is more than $15k just by doing simple work from home. I received $18376 last month. It's an easy and simple job to do and its earnings are much better than regular office jobs and even a little child can do this and earn money. Everybody must try this job by just use the info on this page..... www.netpayfast.com/

Posted by: Emily Snow at January 13, 2023 10:14 AM (EyQTO)

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