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Pink Elephants Dream Cafe

purpleisle.jpg
I don't know where this is but
I imagine Prince used to go fishing there

I've linked this before, but: precision falconry.

Navy SEALs have a little mascot?

"Don't worry, he's cool, I know him from middle school."

"I think this horse lied on his job application."

Dog-as-government.

In Soviet Russia, safari goes on YOU!

Monkey totally clowns a leopard.

Japan is weird and scary.

So that is either not real at all ( I mean, not a real 3D billboard, I know that Ultraman is not real*), or, as one person suggested, it's Augmented Reality: Where you wear special goggles and then computer imagery is added through the lenses over the real physical environment in some places. Either way, it's kind of cool. Thought I should share.

Here is a real 3D art billboard, and here's a collection of 3D billboards.

Speaking of wild holograms:

Okay just kidding, that's not a hologram. I didn't know if that was just lightweight animatronics over the crowd or if they were doing some kind of wild holograms at concerts these days -- due to the covid emergency, I haven't been to a concert since 1994.

I knew they brought Michael Jackson and Tupac back ten years ago, who knows what they can do now!

But it did turn out: They're animatronic. I guess they're on cables.

Or maybe they're suspended in an anti-grav field. Either/or, who knows!



He died as he lived: Screaming in terror.

* Are you real, Ultraman?

Will you be my Ultrafriend?

Posted by: Ace at 07:35 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Two nights in a row?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 07:35 PM (u73oe)

2 I'm not doing the whole top 10 thing tonight.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 07:36 PM (u73oe)

3 Maybe just the top three.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 07:36 PM (u73oe)

4 woohoo !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez -gaslighted?, more like napalmed at April 27, 2022 07:36 PM (IZ9rT)

5 Or four

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 07:36 PM (u73oe)

6 I nooded

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 07:37 PM (u73oe)

7 hiya

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:38 PM (arJlL)

8 Dang, sock threw me out at the plate.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 07:38 PM (u73oe)

9 I hope someone went to rescue that last guy from drowning after he passed out when he landed.

Impressive but LOL.

Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 27, 2022 07:38 PM (rF64X)

10 Hiya JT.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 07:38 PM (u73oe)

11 Hi JT!

Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 27, 2022 07:38 PM (rF64X)

12 Oh I fished there alright!

Posted by: Prince at April 27, 2022 07:38 PM (wlYee)

13 I especially liked the herd of Republicans preserving our freedoms.

Posted by: Eeyore at April 27, 2022 07:39 PM (R0Tis)

14 sorry, Duke, it was empty when I posted ... I coulda been a contendah !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez -gaslighted?, more like napalmed at April 27, 2022 07:39 PM (IZ9rT)

15 This thread is more bouncy-bouncy than a Hungarian-English phrasebook.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 07:39 PM (Dc2NZ)

16 Birlikte uyuyan fil sürüsü…

Same to you, buddy !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:40 PM (arJlL)

17 Just checking in.

Posted by: Sock #16 at April 27, 2022 07:40 PM (vrz2I)

18 Did someone blow the margins on the last one?

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 07:40 PM (0fVbu)

19 Evening.

Those lambs look adorable.

And delicious.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 07:40 PM (KJW+4)

20 That's how you nail a belly flop.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 07:40 PM (icTDX)

21 Hiya Duke !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:40 PM (arJlL)

22 Hiya Sock #16!

Posted by: Sock #17 at April 27, 2022 07:40 PM (vrz2I)

23 >>>15 This thread is more bouncy-bouncy than a Hungarian-English phrasebook.


haha.

I will not buy this record, it is scratched.

When I was very very young, another kid kept repeating that to me, and kept telling me it was funny, and I kept thinking, "Why?"

Posted by: ace at April 27, 2022 07:41 PM (0G13K)

24 I don't know where this is but
I imagine Prince used to go fishing there

LOL

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 07:41 PM (UGDPW)

25 Did someone blow the margins on the last one?
Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 07:40 PM (0fVbu)


Like the head cheerleader in the football players locker room.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 07:41 PM (KJW+4)

26 Hiya Chique !

How's the new job ?

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:41 PM (arJlL)

27
All the ribs, and collarbone. Definitely.

Ow.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 07:42 PM (UGDPW)

28 I hope someone went to rescue that last guy from drowning after he passed out when he landed.

Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 27, 2022 07:38 PM (rF64X)

No. Darwin demands a sacrifice.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 07:42 PM (KJW+4)

29 Another fine day of content, Ace. Enjoy the repartee of the Cafe, and take the rest of the night off, with thanks from the Commentariat!

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 27, 2022 07:42 PM (a3Q+t)

30 Lake Minnetonka. Cept that aint Lake Minnetonka

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at April 27, 2022 07:42 PM (mo5H2)

31 Does that one elephant with insomnia go by... ace?

Posted by: In Reel Life (yes, dummy, on purpose) at April 27, 2022 07:42 PM (QYPq3)

32 Baby mule deer are adorable

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at April 27, 2022 07:43 PM (M+Lyo)

33 I don't know where this is but
I imagine Prince used to go fishing there
___

lol

It is pretty.

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 07:43 PM (mELnC)

34 Hi, JT!

Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2022 07:43 PM (OX9vb)

35 The Japanese are a very noble and weird society.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:44 PM (LKTKP)

36 Lupine. That shit is all over the hills out here.

Posted by: garrett at April 27, 2022 07:44 PM (ZVGkc)

37 Hi JT! It's actually the same job, new leadership position (hasn't yet been officially announced but I have it) , with promotion to (a little disappointingly) happen in a few months. It's good, though. Still busy, but not as bad as last year.

Thank you so much for asking!

And how are things with you?

Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 27, 2022 07:44 PM (rF64X)

38
Movie/TV trivia:

Can you identify the voice for "Smaug" in the wonderful 70's cartoon version of The Hobbit, which is better than peter jackson's crap?

https://youtu.be/Or8G_jDcLNo

hint: calling card

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 name in news at April 27, 2022 07:44 PM (kpKUH)

39 Good evening everyone.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 07:44 PM (Msys3)

40 Afternoon, horde!

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 27, 2022 07:45 PM (DsygJ)

41 "Hold my beer" guy was epic!

Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 27, 2022 07:45 PM (jTmQV)

42 lol
the horse ambulance is hilarious

Posted by: wth at April 27, 2022 07:46 PM (v0R5T)

43 Good eve, Tonypete!

Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2022 07:46 PM (OX9vb)

44 Lupine. That shit is all over the hills out here.
Posted by: garrett
___

Similar to Texas bluebonnet.

Quite pretty.

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 07:46 PM (mELnC)

45 Good evening, Tonypete!

Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 27, 2022 07:47 PM (rF64X)

46 Hey chique. : )

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 07:47 PM (mELnC)

47 Taylor Lorenz also needs an UltraFriend

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:47 PM (LKTKP)

48 Speaking of things tangentally related to Monty Python, I saw "Time Bandits" again today (Gilliam, Palin, Cleese involved so, yeah) and this gleefully violent kids' movie really holds up. The Gilliam aesthetic was in full force, sort of Brian Froud meets Sid and Marty Krofft at Burning Man.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 07:47 PM (Dc2NZ)

49 * Are you real, Ultraman?

Will you be my Ultrafriend?
------
Using the Beta Capsule, Hyata becomes...ULTRAMAN!

Posted by: Weasel at April 27, 2022 07:48 PM (0IeYL)

50 Japan.

First they omit my genitals and now this.

I'm Godzilla dammit! I am so ashamed...

Posted by: Godzilla at April 27, 2022 07:48 PM (R/m4+)

51 On Wednesday, Democrat Congresswoman Maxine Waters (CA) announced she has tested positive for Covid-19.

This ought to put an end to the pandemic

Posted by: SMOD at April 27, 2022 07:48 PM (X5CsJ)

52 These 3D billboards are fine but you lose me when there is parallax with respect to the other structures, unless the other structures are also part of the projected facade. Now you can have AR maybe but people shouldn't be driving around with AR glasses yet. Not cyberpunk time yet.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 07:48 PM (0fVbu)

53 Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 name in news at April 27, 2022 07:44 PM (kpKUH)

Hec Ramsey!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 07:49 PM (Dc2NZ)

54 >>Using the Beta Capsule, Hyata becomes...ULTRAMAN!


The end of next week and Ultraman #208 should be here.

Posted by: garrett at April 27, 2022 07:49 PM (ZVGkc)

55 On Wednesday, Democrat Congresswoman Maxine Waters (CA) announced she has tested positive for Covid-19.
___

Poor coof.

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 07:49 PM (mELnC)

56 Ok I read just one line down and ace covered all that.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 07:49 PM (0fVbu)

57 Hi SMH!


Hi Jordan61!

Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 27, 2022 07:49 PM (rF64X)

58 The fact that Japan doesn't just have googles that project AR Gundam fights all over the place surprises me.

Posted by: Flyguy at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM (dpJ62)

59
Hec Ramsey!
Posted by: All Hail Eris

Correct!

It is Paladin.

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 name in news at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM (kpKUH)

60 THANK YOU ! I always wanted to know how elephants sleep !

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM (V13WU)

61 >>On Wednesday, Democrat Congresswoman Maxine Waters (CA) announced she has tested positive for Covid-19.


Apparently Masks and Horsehair Wigs provide equal protection from the Covids.

Posted by: garrett at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM (ZVGkc)

62 better make sure his neck is braced before you put him on the horse

Posted by: wth at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM (v0R5T)

63 Tonight I am making my first gumbo roux from scratch.
I never knew it was that simple.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM (jTmQV)

64 It's a mystery to me why we should give a shit anymore when anyone gets COVID, except if it's grandma and she's fat and smoked her whole life and already had COPD.

Posted by: Seems Legit at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM (DcKNO)

65 They used to have some flying things in Pink Floyd concerts.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 07:51 PM (0fVbu)

66 Fauci has declared the pandemic over. But we will need annual boosters.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at April 27, 2022 07:51 PM (bg3iC)

67 I mean, goggles. I would think that Google would be in on it though. I could seem that throwing their logo on Wing Gundam and have it fight an Orangeman Bad Zaku.

Posted by: Flyguy at April 27, 2022 07:52 PM (dpJ62)

68 "Maxine Waters (CA) announced she has tested positive for Covid-19."

Who cares. Let me know when she tests positive for room temperature.

Posted by: Sock #18 at April 27, 2022 07:52 PM (vrz2I)

69
I'm seeing a rumor that Paladin was picked first to co-star with Burt Reynolds in Smokey & The Bandit.

I think Boone got sick in the late 70's. Maybe that's why they brought in Ralph Cramden? I dunno.

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 name in news at April 27, 2022 07:52 PM (kpKUH)

70 Because when we stop caring about Covid, Emperor Inslee might have to give up some power. He's had special emergency powers for about 790 days now.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 07:52 PM (5HBd1)

71 Fauci has declared the pandemic over.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at April 27, 2022 07:51 PM (bg3iC)

He walked it back.

https://tinyurl.com/mwj5myd7

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 07:53 PM (KJW+4)

72 Those sleeping elephants look almost pink, or else the DTs have set in; it's likely a combo.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 27, 2022 07:54 PM (F0YaR)

73 They used to have some flying things in Pink Floyd concerts.
Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 07:51 PM (0fVbu)

Did Peter Frampton actually used to shoot out a giant inflatable pig, or was that just a Simpsons bit?

Posted by: Flyguy at April 27, 2022 07:54 PM (dpJ62)

74 I thought pink elephants showed up during DDT.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2022 07:54 PM (0Z0Jk)

75 Watched a few, bad horsey
But Monkey fkin with leopard is too funny

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2022 07:54 PM (2JoB8)

76 Amber Heard is a toxic , insane bitch that needs to be locked up.

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (V13WU)

77 He died as he lived: Screaming in terror.

"I keep getting the darned tides mixed up!"

Posted by: t-bird at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (V+A8w)

78 And how are things with you?
Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin')

Pretty good !
Its cooling off around here.....

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (arJlL)

79 Isn't Roux just fat and flour?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (LKTKP)

80 >> Isn't Roux just fat and flour?


And heat and time.

Posted by: garrett at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (ZVGkc)

81 Amber Heard is a toxic , insane bitch that needs to be locked up.

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (V13WU)

Hey, pal, what did I ever do to you?

Posted by: Amber Heard, getting ready to shit in your bed at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (KJW+4)

82 THANK YOU ! I always wanted to know how elephants sleep !
Posted by: runner

So you can shoot them in your pajamas ?

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (arJlL)

83 Japan is weird, guy checking watch to see how long his shift is?

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (2JoB8)

84 79 Isn't Roux just fat and flour?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (LKTKP)

------

And love, you forgot the love.

Posted by: Seems Legit at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (DcKNO)

85 Nobody is dying from coof anymore. Nobody.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (bg3iC)

86 Hiya April !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (arJlL)

87 Its cooling off around here.....
Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (arJlL)

I wish it would warm up here. It's still in the 30s when I leave for work.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 27, 2022 07:57 PM (DsygJ)

88 And heat and time.
Posted by: garrett at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (ZVGkc)

Add pressure and you've got geology

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 07:57 PM (II3Gr)

89 Isn't Roux just fat and flour?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (LKTKP)

Yes....and sweat. And whatever else the cook wants to drop in there.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 27, 2022 07:57 PM (R/m4+)

90 On Wednesday, Democrat Congresswoman Maxine Waters (CA) announced she has tested positive for Covid-19.
___


Maxine Waters is a toxic, inane bitch that needs to be locked up.

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 07:57 PM (V13WU)

91 >> Isn't Roux just fat and flour?


And heat and time.
Posted by: garrett at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (ZVGkc)

There's a Simon & Garfunkel song in there somewhere.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 07:57 PM (KJW+4)

92 63 Tonight I am making my first gumbo roux from scratch.
I never knew it was that simple.
Posted by: gourmand du jour


Making gumbo too? I made some today. It's quite good. Roux is fairly easy, you just have to keep stirring it.

Posted by: Puddleglum at April 27, 2022 07:58 PM (sAmhv)

93 Hey chique. I hope you are doing well.

TX this year?

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 07:58 PM (Msys3)

94 Did somebody say fat and flour?

Posted by: Lizzo at April 27, 2022 07:58 PM (Xrfse)

95 Did I get banned????

Posted by: Russkilitlover at April 27, 2022 07:59 PM (iyVGU)

96 Hiya Jordan !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:59 PM (arJlL)

97 So you can shoot them in your pajamas ?
Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (arJlL)

Noo , so I could shoot then in YOUR pajamas...WHAT ??

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 07:59 PM (V13WU)

98 89 Isn't Roux just fat and flour?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (LKTKP)

Yes....and sweat. And whatever else the cook wants to drop in there.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 27, 2022 07:57 PM (R/m4


Cigarette ashes are au natural!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:59 PM (LKTKP)

99 Yeah, keep stirring and it took me about 20 minutes to get the right color to it.
Now for the okra!

Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 27, 2022 07:59 PM (jTmQV)

100 Hmmm...apparently not. Got a response to a post that my website (?) was banned. Weird.

Posted by: Russkilitlover at April 27, 2022 08:00 PM (iyVGU)

101 Elephants look like 1 is up on watch, hope they have perimeter covered as well.

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2022 08:00 PM (2JoB8)

102 Just watched the JUST SOME GUY take down, My God did he go off the rails.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at April 27, 2022 08:00 PM (dKiJG)

103 Did I get banned????
Posted by: Russkilitlover at April 27, 2022 07:59 PM (iyVGU)

It happens to all of us at some point.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 08:01 PM (KJW+4)

104 So guys I need you to make some video sorting algorithm for me. I've got about a hundred videos of lions attacking tourist groups. Can you make something that would be able to extract the small 1-2 % of the videos where there is a few seconds before the lion devours all the poor frightened tasty tourists? Have it on my desk close of business Friday. The best selection gets the closest parking space. The worst gets the lionist parking space.

Posted by: Safari Marketing Manager at April 27, 2022 08:01 PM (0fVbu)

105 Yeah, keep stirring and it took me about 20 minutes to get the right color to it.
Now for the okra!
Posted by: gourmand du jour

What did you invite her for ?

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 08:01 PM (arJlL)

106 First post from my new laptop. Windows 11 is...interesting.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 27, 2022 08:01 PM (DsygJ)

107 Nobody is dying from coof anymore. Nobody.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at April 27, 2022 07:56 PM (bg3iC)

Or “with”

Posted by: 7man at April 27, 2022 08:01 PM (qwO6y)

108 Just watched the JUST SOME GUY take down, My God did he go off the rails.
Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at April 27, 2022 08:00 PM (dKiJG)

Oh? Link, pleze.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 08:02 PM (KJW+4)

109 My granny use to smoke Virginia slims over the gravy she was stirring. No telling how much ash we ate as kids.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:02 PM (LKTKP)

110 89 Isn't Roux just fat and flour?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:55 PM (LKTKP)

Yes....and sweat. And whatever else the cook wants to drop in there.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 27, 2022 07:57 PM (R/m4


Cigarette ashes are au natural!
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 07:59 PM (LKTKP)

This is how you get rouxmatism[/].

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:02 PM (V13WU)

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:02 PM (V13WU)

112 that was close !

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:02 PM (V13WU)

113 Elephants look like 1 is up on watch, hope they have perimeter covered as well.
Posted by: Skip a

Sometimes the Perimeter Watch wanders off to 7-11.

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 08:03 PM (arJlL)

114 Nice save!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:03 PM (LKTKP)

115 PSA: Brownell's has Federal pistol primers, small and large. Prices do not include lubricant.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 27, 2022 08:03 PM (nfrXX)

116 My granny use to smoke Virginia slims over the gravy she was stirring. No telling how much ash we ate as kids.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

roughage....

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 08:04 PM (arJlL)

117 *juggles chainsaws...with one hand !

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:04 PM (V13WU)

118 Prices do not include lubricant.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 27, 2022 08:03 PM (nfrXX

That's what she said!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:04 PM (LKTKP)

119 My granny use to smoke Virginia slims over the gravy she was stirring. No telling how much ash we ate as kids.
Posted by: AlaBAMA


what a lovely memory. *sigh

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:04 PM (V13WU)

120 >>> Oh? Link, pleze.
Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 08:02 PM (KJW+4)


Its in the sidebar about punisher. Its queued up to that one part but you can go back to the beginning I think.

Posted by: Safari Marketing Manager at April 27, 2022 08:06 PM (0fVbu)

121 Time to turn this off
Everyone have a great evening

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2022 08:06 PM (2JoB8)

122 My granny use to smoke Virginia slims over the gravy she was stirring.

Smoke on the Gravy.

Posted by: Deep Purple at April 27, 2022 08:06 PM (Xrfse)

123 Hmmm...apparently not. Got a response to a post that my website (?) was banned. Weird.
Posted by: Russkilitlover at April 27, 2022 08:00 PM (iyVGU)



management gets a bit squishy about p0rn...

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:06 PM (V13WU)

124
what a lovely memory. *sigh
Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:04 PM (V13WU)


Yeah, it is. She had that Candy bowl of lemon drops that were all kinda melted together over the years. I can remember every visit.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:06 PM (LKTKP)

125 I had Ultraman's Color Timer as one of my ringtones for a time.
We go way back.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 27, 2022 08:06 PM (vuisn)

126 108 Just watched the JUST SOME GUY take down, My God did he go off the rails.
Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at April 27, 2022 08:00 PM (dKiJG)

Oh? Link, pleze.
Posted by: Robert


I think it's over in the sidebar.

And with that, it's off to bed. I'll be up at 0300, lurking, drinking coffee, grumbling.

https://youtu.be/Cnchea6LHN0

Posted by: Puddleglum at April 27, 2022 08:07 PM (sAmhv)

127 Prices do not include lubricant.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 27, 2022 08:03 PM (nfrXX)

Oddly enough, this is also the story of getting gas under the Bidet administration.

As well as food, clothes, energy, well, everything really. Except lubricant.

Posted by: Billy Bob Thornton at April 27, 2022 08:07 PM (eqyIS)

128 'Nite Skip ; see ya in the AM.

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 08:07 PM (arJlL)

129 Ok don't quit my day sock

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 08:07 PM (0fVbu)

130 My granny use to smoke Virginia slims over the gravy she was stirring. No telling how much ash we ate as kids.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

My Grammi would sweat into the pots of green beans, pieces of ham, and potatoes.

Come to think of it, the fly strips were right above the stove top also.

No wonder none of us ever got sick. . . .

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 08:07 PM (Msys3)

131 Off sock.

Posted by: Bete at April 27, 2022 08:08 PM (eqyIS)

132 Steve Inman back on Twitter:

https://tinyurl.com/mrxeby43

Posted by: Notsothoreau - look forward at April 27, 2022 08:09 PM (YynYJ)

133 Mmmmm. Gravy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 27, 2022 08:09 PM (3NKiY)

134 My Grammi would sweat into the pots of green beans, pieces of ham, and potatoes.

Come to think of it, the fly strips were right above the stove top also.

No wonder none of us ever got sick. . . .
Posted by: Tonypete

Awww......Grammi's don't sweat.....

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 08:10 PM (arJlL)

135 No wonder none of us ever got sick. . . .
Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 08:07 PM (Msys3)


This is why our society is doomed. The latchkey generation was the last to eat dirt.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:10 PM (LKTKP)

136 My grandmother used to smoke Tareytons when I was a kid. But unlike the advertising, she eventually quit rather than fight. Lived to be 98.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 27, 2022 08:10 PM (vuisn)

137
Steve Inman back on Twitter:

https://tinyurl.com/mrxeby43


==

One of many...


all of a sudden it feels like ....May 8th - VE day, no ?

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:11 PM (V13WU)

138 Yeah, it is. She had that Candy bowl of lemon drops that were all kinda melted together over the years. I can remember every visit.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

One of my grandmas had a little jar of red hots in the kitchen window. The other had those weird curly ribbon candies in a dish. I preferred the red hots.

Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2022 08:11 PM (OX9vb)

139 Yes, potential new ownership of Twatter is making a difference, even in the "Trending" thingee:

Jack Posobiec @JackPosobiec; 7m
Ministry of Truth is now the #1 trend in the United States after news the Biden Admin launched a Homeland Security 'Disinformation Board'

Posted by: andycanuck (UHVv4) at April 27, 2022 08:12 PM (UHVv4)

140 Haven't you ever wondered why you can never get Grandma's recipe to taste the same as when Grandma made it?

Posted by: fdd at April 27, 2022 08:12 PM (vrz2I)

141 I remember reading a book by Bette Davis' daughter where she talked about her mother's cooking. The daughter would come for dinner and Bette would put Stouffer's Macaroni and Cheese in the oven. While it was baking, she would spread paper towels all over the counters, then slice a tomato. The tomato would be placed atop the mac and cheese for the last 10 mins. All this while drinking and smoking cigarettes. Her daughter claimed Bette considered this her homemade meal.

Posted by: washrivergal at April 27, 2022 08:12 PM (T7ftm)

142
Delilah went in for another progesterone test today. She's just bumping along about the same level. She goes in again on Friday. I hope she's not like her great-grandmother Possum, who did nothing then it was, "Breed her right now!"

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2022 08:13 PM (/U27+)

143 a carton of Marlboros will set you back a c-note where I live

Posted by: DB at April 27, 2022 08:13 PM (geLO8)

144 It's still like a big party on Twitter, although the Left is trying to put an end to the fun. Everyone talking about how many followers they have, all of a sudden. And people saying all sorts of things that would have gotten them banned. I suppose it will settle down some time.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 08:13 PM (5HBd1)

145 Tonight I am making my first gumbo roux from scratch.
I never knew it was that simple.
Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM

Congratulations! Mark your calendar so next year you can celebrate and roux the day.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 27, 2022 08:13 PM (a3Q+t)

146 Our society got fucked up when grandparents were no longer part of kids' lives.

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:13 PM (V13WU)

147 Twitter is and always will be trash

Posted by: A dude in MI at April 27, 2022 08:14 PM (/6GbT)

148 140 Haven't you ever wondered why you can never get Grandma's recipe to taste the same as when Grandma made it?
Posted by: fdd at April 27, 2022 08:12 PM (vrz2I

It finally makes sense!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:14 PM (LKTKP)

149 This is why our society is doomed. The latchkey generation was the last to eat dirt.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:10 PM (LKTKP)

Not after I get through with the economy they won't be.

Enjoy it til you can't afford even that.

Posted by: Bidet, resident in chef at April 27, 2022 08:14 PM (eqyIS)

150 I think it's an unwritten Grandma Rule to have a bowl of hard candy on the coffee table.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 27, 2022 08:14 PM (vuisn)

151 g'night everyone !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez -gaslighted?, more like napalmed at April 27, 2022 08:14 PM (IZ9rT)

152 I could easily make it taste like my grandmother's cooking. Just fry the hell out of it until it's like leather. My grandmother was an awful cook.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 08:15 PM (5HBd1)

153 147 Twitter is and always will be trash
Posted by: A dude in MI at April 27, 2022 08:14 PM (/6GbT)

It is still a fundamentally flawed way of transfer of information and opinion. but if you have to have it, better it be an open and honest one.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 27, 2022 08:15 PM (3NKiY)

154 I will not buy this record, it is scratched.

When I was very very young, another kid kept repeating that to me, and kept telling me it was funny, and I kept thinking, "Why?"
Posted by: ace

Don't know the original.

But Bally Sagoo (a Hindu ??? DJ) uses it on a Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan remix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebJeEMwvMY0

The quote is mixed in just after "the DJ" has done a scratching session (about 15 seconds) during the song.

Posted by: Adriane the Exotic Music Critic ... at April 27, 2022 08:15 PM (okV1R)

155 You free speech absolutists , you !

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:15 PM (V13WU)

156 I don't know where this is but. I imagine Prince used to go fishing there.

The intertubes says it is Lake Tekapo, New Zealand. Because I am a prime candidate for the Disinformation Governance Board Moran Meetup Relocation Program I have never been there. Plus, it is the type of place that makes me nervous because it is far too lovely for the likes of me and then there is the matter that I am barely housebroken. Which all adds up to me vacationing near Area 51 in Nevada or in the above mentioned recreation Shangri La.

Posted by: Lost In Space - Now fortified with Green Chilis at April 27, 2022 08:15 PM (9I3i5)

157
No wonder none of us ever got sick. . . .
Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 08:07 PM (Msys3)

_________

I think little kids who go to dog shows every weekend with their parents have been exposed to every bacteria and virus known to man.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2022 08:16 PM (/U27+)

158 i remember the time my granny almost blew up my aunt's kitchen

turned the stove on, THEN went looking for a match

poor dear- I think she had gone all milky in the filberts by then

Posted by: DB at April 27, 2022 08:16 PM (geLO8)

159 Breed her right now!"
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2022 08:13 PM

Chihuahuas are standing by, hoping.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 27, 2022 08:16 PM (a3Q+t)

160 One of my grandmas had a little jar of red hots in the kitchen window. The other had those weird curly ribbon candies in a dish. I preferred the red hots.
Posted by: April

Nice! Mine had a ceramic cookie jar, in the shape of an apple, right inside the side door leading outdoors. We were allowed to get into it any time we wanted. When we'd open the door and take the lid of the jar (shaped like an apple stem, natch) off, it would make a little 'ding' noise. Grammi would always call from wherever she was in the house: "I hear yoooooo!" and laugh.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 08:16 PM (Msys3)

161 I have a bowl of hard candy on the coffee table and I'm not a grandpa.

*Remembers birthdate*

Fuck

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 08:16 PM (u73oe)

162 The josh is indeed high, sir.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 27, 2022 08:17 PM (vuisn)

163 Twitter is and always will be trash
Posted by: A dude in MI at April 27, 2022 08:14 PM (/6GbT)

Just said the exact same thing to my mom.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 27, 2022 08:17 PM (DsygJ)

164
Our society got fucked up when grandparents were no longer part of kids' lives.
Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:13 PM (V13WU)

___________

Sad to say, Her Majesty and her daughter are totally alienated. She has grandchildren she's never seen.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2022 08:18 PM (/U27+)

165 was having a business related thing during the megan fox thread

wanted to say that I would bang her so hard that I would bang her the rest of the way through crazy all the way back to sane. she is the baby bear of hot, not too big, not too small, not too hard, not to soft, just right. I would bang her in my parents bed if they were in it with my wife watching.

except for her ugly fucking retarded finger, that is kind of the end with everything for her.

so just forget everything.

Posted by: confederatefifth at April 27, 2022 08:19 PM (K3ZCc)

166 Grammi would always call from wherever she was in the house: "I hear yoooooo!" and laugh.
Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 08:16 PM (Msys3)


That made me smile, man. Good memories

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:19 PM (LKTKP)

167 Watched the stretcher horse video. I think the stretcher was banging the horse in the rump, in the same place that was a signal for the horse to gallop. So obedience to the command meant galloping off, and then the stretcher kept whacking, and so....

Posted by: suburbanbanshee at April 27, 2022 08:19 PM (sF8WE)

168 Breed her right now!"
Posted by: H


things said every weekend in the john and kate + eight house.

Posted by: confederatefifth at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (K3ZCc)

169 Sad to say, Her Majesty and her daughter are totally alienated. She has grandchildren she's never seen.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2022 08:18 PM (/U27+)

Oh, Hadrian, that will change. Give it time.

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (V13WU)

170 My hovercraft is full of eels. Again.

Posted by: klaftern at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (taPSh)

171 Damn.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (3NKiY)

172 170 My hovercraft is full of eels. Again.
Posted by: klaftern at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (taPSh)


Guys, I lost my code book! What does this mean?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:21 PM (LKTKP)

173 170 My hovercraft is full of eels. Again.
Posted by: klaftern at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (taPSh)

Euphemism?

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 27, 2022 08:21 PM (3NKiY)

174 Guys, I lost my code book! What does this mean?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:21 PM (LKTKP)

Get an axe.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 27, 2022 08:21 PM (3NKiY)

175 Is that foxglove in the foreground?

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 08:22 PM (0fVbu)

176 Wait, the stretcher was banging the horse?

I swear, step away from the HQ for a couple of hours and everyone changes the codes.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 08:22 PM (u73oe)

177 Grandma 'you will not listen, now you will feel'

Posted by: A dude in MI at April 27, 2022 08:22 PM (/6GbT)

178 My Pall Mall-smoking grandma had the crystal bowl of ribbon candy AND the cat clock where the tail and eyes go back and forth.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 08:22 PM (Dc2NZ)

179 178 My Pall Mall-smoking grandma had the crystal bowl of ribbon candy AND the cat clock where the tail and eyes go back and forth.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 08:22 PM (Dc2NZ


Mine had the cuckoo clock. I'd wait patiently for that damn bird to pop out.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:23 PM (LKTKP)

180 I could easily make it taste like my grandmother's cooking. Just fry the hell out of it until it's like leather. My grandmother was an awful cook.
Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward

But a GREAT dancer, right ?

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 08:24 PM (arJlL)

181 The bowl of candy was an entertaining thing. My guess is the housewife saw it in the magazines of how a well appointed living/family room should look for guests.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 27, 2022 08:24 PM (3NKiY)

182 The phrasebook sketch:

https://tinyurl.com/4wva8u9v

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 08:24 PM (Dc2NZ)

183 oops!!!! I think it's this one:

Sahnoon Rog Laan Walia (Remix)
Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5a2LC8kGm8Q

Posted by: Adriane the Exotic Music Critic ... at April 27, 2022 08:25 PM (okV1R)

184 Its in the sidebar about punisher. Its queued up to that one part but you can go back to the beginning I think.
Posted by: Safari Marketing Manager at April 27, 2022 08:06 PM (0fVbu)

Ooohhhh!!!! I haven't watched his videos in a while. So he's criticized the Florida anti-grooming bill? Huh. I'm curious.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 08:25 PM (MVTVd)

185
*takes out harmonica

My hovercraft is full of eels
I cannot say how bad it feels
I am is bereft and that will seal
the fate of unprovoked kriegspiel...

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:26 PM (V13WU)

186 John has a long mustache.

The chair is against the wall.

The stretcher is banging the horse.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 08:26 PM (u73oe)

187 Another great memory was that she used to let us walk to the A&P to get candy but only after we scrounged all the change from the couch cushions.

All these years later, I'm pretty certain she'd just put quarters under the cushions when she knew we were coming over.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:26 PM (LKTKP)

188 178 My Pall Mall-smoking grandma had the crystal bowl of ribbon candy AND the cat clock where the tail and eyes go back and forth.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 08:22 PM (Dc2NZ)

++++
One neighbor friend had a grandmother who lived on the same street. The grandmother didn't smoke but she did have a crystal bowl full of ribbon candy and the cat clock. I thought the cat clock was the best thing ever.

Posted by: washrivergal at April 27, 2022 08:26 PM (T7ftm)

189 * Are you real, Ultraman?

Will you be my Ultrafriend?



I don't know if that billboard is real, but I do know there is an Ultraman reboot coming:

https://tinyurl.com/Shin-Ultraman-Fuck-YEAH

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 08:26 PM (1nw4k)

190
I learned from watching my mother and grandmother have a conversation that it's impossible to speak in Italian and not move your hands.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2022 08:27 PM (/U27+)

191 Tucker and Matt Gaetz ripping on McCarthy and Scalese. These two turds are sickening.

Posted by: Jen Pissflaps at April 27, 2022 08:27 PM (Tc2CN)

192 Mine had the cuckoo clock. I'd wait patiently for that damn bird to pop out.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:23 PM (LKTKP)

Lava lamp and picture of mountain that had a light behind it to light it up, a pre kinkade, if you will

Posted by: A dude in MI at April 27, 2022 08:27 PM (/6GbT)

193 My Pall Mall-smoking grandma had the crystal bowl of ribbon candy AND the cat clock where the tail and eyes go back and forth.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 08:22 PM (Dc2NZ)


I love those cat clocks !

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:28 PM (V13WU)

194 Huh, well Donald may not be on Twitter but Melania sent out a tweet to thank folks for the birthday greetings.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 08:28 PM (5HBd1)

195 >>> 95 Did I get banned????
Posted by: Russkilitlover at April 27, 2022 07:59 PM (iyVGU)

Hey, has anyone seen Russkilitlover recently?

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at April 27, 2022 08:28 PM (llON8)

196 I hope someone went to rescue that last guy from drowning after he passed out when he landed.
Impressive but LOL.
Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 27, 2022 07:38 PM (rF64X)

"Who Dares, Pancakes"

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 08:28 PM (xhaym)

197 He died as he lived: Screaming in terror.

That song is great. Band is 'Kaleo', and it's an Icelandic kid singing 'Way Down We Go'. I could have sworn this was going to be a Mississippi band.

Posted by: t-bird at April 27, 2022 08:29 PM (7uHaa)

198 Ultraman's batteries were insufficient for his thrust parameter.

Posted by: Jet Jaguar at April 27, 2022 08:29 PM (sOWje)

199 164
Our society got fucked up when grandparents were no longer part of kids' lives.
Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:13 PM (V13WU)

Pretty much the only part of Grandma that got visited on me was my mom copying her ability to whack me upside the head with a wooden spoon without even turning around from the counter.

I think I was glad Grandma was 2,000 miles away.

Posted by: tcn in AK, Hail to the Thief at April 27, 2022 08:30 PM (LOVUx)

200 My grandma had one of those clocks that would chime efery half an hour. She got it as a corporate gift upon her retirement. Dad still has it.

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:30 PM (V13WU)

201 We have candy dishes. It's not just for old people. Now get off my lawn.

Posted by: fddd at April 27, 2022 08:30 PM (vrz2I)

202 170 My hovercraft is full of eels. Again.
Posted by: klaftern at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (taPSh)

Omniglot?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 27, 2022 08:30 PM (vuisn)

203 "Who Dares, Pancakes"
Posted by: Kindltot

Spoken like some one not on lo-carb ...

Posted by: Adriane the Ethnic Cuisine Critic ... at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (okV1R)

204 Pretty much the only part of Grandma that got visited on me was my mom copying her ability to whack me upside the head with a wooden spoon without even turning around from the counter.

I think I was glad Grandma was 2,000 miles away.
Posted by: tcn in AK, Hail to the Thief at April 27, 2022 08:30 PM (LOVUx)

And you should be grateful. Look how well you turned out.

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (V13WU)

205 I have a nice crystal dish that I used to keep Butterfingers in. It's empty.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (u73oe)

206 Just got home
Poured a glass of Irish.

Heating up some leftover bbq pork shoulder.
Have some coleslaw.

Kitteh by my side.
Thank you, horde for your hump or and your snark and your thoughts.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (U2p+3)

207 Every weeknight cafe it's the same thing - variety.

Posted by: 496 at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (U1eOr)

208
Mine had a ceramic cookie jar, in the shape of an apple, right inside the side door leading outdoors.

My grandmother had an apple cookie jar! My sister and I went straight for the apple whenever we visited.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (63Dwl)

209 And you should be grateful. Look how well you turned out.
Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (V13WU)

Just don't piss me off when I'm mixing something with a wooden spoon. It may be genetic.

Posted by: tcn in AK, Hail to the Thief at April 27, 2022 08:32 PM (LOVUx)

210 Oh ffs.
HUMOR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HUMOR.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:32 PM (U2p+3)

211 Phish shows are a blast especially when they announce its their last show because retiring (they have retired at least 6 times now). My job as a Pledge at an Old South Frat was to drive older Brothers to Phish, Panic, and Allman Brothers shows and other lesser known bands. I only took one class that semester. Just White Knuckling driving an RV with multiple tanks of Nitrous, Yayo, MDMA, and Weed for a dozen or more people.
Its a miracle I lived to be 25 before I went straight edge. Lol

Anyway, Trey Anastasio is the most insufferable musician alive today (rap and NuCountry isn't music). Phish peaked with their Helping Friendly Book.

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 08:32 PM (1NPML)

212 >>> My hovercraft is full of eels. Again.
Posted by: klaftern at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (taPSh)

How would you say John's mustache is doing these days. Long?

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 08:33 PM (0fVbu)

213 Well, it might be time to de-monster my Wrangler or sell it.

Getting too old to lift 35's.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 27, 2022 08:33 PM (FDCW/)

214 Thank you, horde for your hump or and your snark and your thoughts.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (U2p+3)
---
Our lovely hobo lumps!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 27, 2022 08:33 PM (Dc2NZ)

215 Thank you, horde for your hump or and your snark and your thoughts.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (U2p+3)


Damn girl! You don't mess around.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:33 PM (LKTKP)

216 202 170 My hovercraft is full of eels. Again.
Posted by: klaftern at April 27, 2022 08:20 PM (taPSh)

Omniglot?
Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 27, 2022 08:30 PM (vuisn)
Freshwater or saltwater? This reely matters.

Posted by: Eromero at April 27, 2022 08:33 PM (0OP+5)

217 What hump?

Posted by: Eyegor at April 27, 2022 08:34 PM (II3Gr)

218 Just don't piss me off when I'm mixing something with a wooden spoon. It may be genetic.
Posted by: tcn in AK, Hail to the Thief at April 27, 2022 08:32 PM (LOVUx)


hahahah! you funny !

*runner from 3k miles away

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:34 PM (V13WU)

219 My Grandpa, OTOH, kept a huge dish of candy corn and it was open season when we visited. He was a complete lush and Grandma never drank, so she mixed his drinks with no idea how powerful they were. He certainly never complained. I figure they were about 3/4's booze. He was deaf as a post but didn't believe it.

Life in their house was, well, a challenge.

Posted by: tcn in AK, Hail to the Thief at April 27, 2022 08:34 PM (LOVUx)

220 My Croatian grandma was an awesome cook.
My mom's mom died in her 50s. I barely knew her.

I learned to cook from my mom's dad. And fillet a fish. And clean a crab and a geoduck and dig clams and shuck oysters.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:35 PM (U2p+3)

221 Wasn't a phish dorking kids? Or at least one had kid-dorking as an occasional hobby?

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 08:35 PM (0fVbu)

222 My grandmother? My cousin and I talk about her to compare notes. We refer to being especially bitchy as "letting out our inner Mema." She was not a pleasant person to be around.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 08:35 PM (5HBd1)

223 Mmm...ribbon candy.

Posted by: Arkansas Biden Baby at April 27, 2022 08:36 PM (Xrfse)

224 Tucker labeled Sweet Cheeks Mcarthy a "Joy Reid staffer." That is good. really good.

Tucker also played some clips of Sweet Cheeks getting interviewed over his comments about Trump resigning. Sweet Cheeks without skipping a beat denied the quotes on the tapes as him shit talking about scenarios and because he didn't actually go see The President, then shoved a fist up his ass, demanding The President resign it never happened. Sweet Cheeks is a fucking sociopath. Nah, fuck that, fucking psychopath. Much better.

Posted by: Lost In Space - Now fortified with Green Chilis at April 27, 2022 08:37 PM (9I3i5)

225 Just one man's humble opinion but Rusted Root >> phish. Slightly different and maybe unfair to compare but there it is I did it.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 08:37 PM (0fVbu)

226 My granny use to smoke Virginia slims over the gravy she was stirring. No telling how much ash we ate as kids.

**

You never want to think too hard about the adults working at fast food and chain restaurants' kitchens and why it is that they're working there.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 27, 2022 08:38 PM (SfD1B)

227 Grammi would always call from wherever she was in the house: "I hear yoooooo!" and laugh.
Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 08:16 PM (Msys3)

So fun! We would ring the doorbell, even though we knew she knew we were there (we lived in the country, so you knew if you had company). We didn't have a doorbell, so it was very exotic.

Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2022 08:39 PM (OX9vb)

228 Never go on safari without big iron.

Posted by: Javems at April 27, 2022 08:39 PM (AmoqO)

229 Krakatoa !

Posted by: Adriane the Ethnic Cuisine Critic ... at April 27, 2022 08:39 PM (okV1R)

230 Guys, I lost my code book! What does this mean?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:21 PM (LKTKP)

"hay que enfocarnos" Which is Spanish for, "it is time for us to turn ourselves into seals"

Posted by: Dorah, the Explorah at April 27, 2022 08:39 PM (xhaym)

231 HUMOR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HUMOR.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:32 PM (U2p+3)

I keep my humor in the humidor, where it belongs.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 08:40 PM (xhaym)

232 Of course, the pant shitter would appoint a guy dressed up as a girl to be his disinformation czar.

Posted by: Jimco Industries at April 27, 2022 08:41 PM (buTO7)

233 The cat clock where the tail and eyes go back and forth.
___

So did my Gammy...*shudder*.

I hated that thing when I was a little kid.
It being powder blue somehow made it worse.

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 08:42 PM (mELnC)

234 What's the deal with Alex Jones getting the girls on both the dissident right and left all hot and bothered lately?
I feel like this is the work of Thiel bucks to psyop the ladies into accepting borderline obesity.

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 08:42 PM (1NPML)

235 Autocucumber has developed a sense of humor.

Posted by: Javems at April 27, 2022 08:43 PM (AmoqO)

236 My Gammy was amazing.

Still miss her, after all these years.

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 08:43 PM (mELnC)

237 You can still buy those cat clocks you know. Same company makes them.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 08:43 PM (5HBd1)

238 Krakatoa !
Posted by: Adriane the Ethnic Cuisine Critic .

South of bellybutton !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 08:43 PM (arJlL)

239 Top photo is Lake Tekapo in New Zealand.

Posted by: Paco at April 27, 2022 08:43 PM (njExo)

240 Krakatoa !
---

Blecch With Lava!

Posted by: MAD Magazine at April 27, 2022 08:44 PM (Dc2NZ)

241 210 Oh ffs.
HUMOR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HUMOR.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:32 PM (U2p+3)

LOL, I was wondering.

Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2022 08:44 PM (OX9vb)

242 237 You can still buy those cat clocks you know. Same company makes them.
Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 08:43 PM (5HBd1)
---

They're retro cool now.

https://kit-cat.com/

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Iron Fist in Velvet Glove in Iron Gauntlet Clutching an Iron Mace at April 27, 2022 08:45 PM (Dc2NZ)

243 Phish are bunch of queers.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2022 08:47 PM (gcnla)

244 210 Oh ffs.
HUMOR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HUMOR.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:32 PM (U2p+3)

LOL, I was wondering.
Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2022 08:44 PM (OX9vb)

heh. Glad I don't have autocorrupt. Any mistakes are my own bad typing. A side effect of having bratwurst fingers.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 08:47 PM (x8Wzq)

245 *places order for 10 kit-cat clocks on Amazon (free shipping)

I love those things !!

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 08:48 PM (V13WU)

246 Thank you, horde for your hump
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM (U2p+3)

Well if anyone deserves a good...um...no...no. Nevermind.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 08:49 PM (t5YNG)

247 The Night of the Skywalkers is the greatest name for a show ever. Mid to late 80s NWA/WCW was the best.
Made the Mrs watch Starcade 86 last night with me. She said Arn Anderson is peak dad bod we should all strive for by age 50.

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 08:49 PM (1NPML)

248 I'm Godzilla dammit! I am so ashamed...

Posted by: Godzilla



Perhaps you can earn your genitals back with another bout against that pussy King Kong:

https://tinyurl.com/Monsterverse-Hmmm

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 08:50 PM (1nw4k)

249 Seen Grandma Aspirin Factory light up my older cousin with a honeysuckle switch.

One of those lesson you learn by watching. Don’t make grandma mad.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2022 08:50 PM (gcnla)

250 My Grandmother had a cat clock, a baker clock, a cuckoo clock, and about 20 other clocks. When I stayed with my Grandparents while attending community college I could sleep for the first few week since is gongs and bongs all day and night long. A couple years later when I moved out I couldn't sleep for a month because it was too quiet. I guess it came down to this: as long as those clocks where raising a fuss so was my Grandmother. Many years after she passed on, I still have the long wall clock that hung in the kitchen in my home. She is still raising a fuss.

Posted by: Lost In Space - Now fortified with Green Chilis at April 27, 2022 08:50 PM (9I3i5)

251 Oh and Dusty Rhodes looks and is built like Megan McCain. Its uncanny.

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 08:50 PM (1NPML)

252 Grandma Aspirin Factory

**

This is a really great phrase.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 27, 2022 08:51 PM (SfD1B)

253 Musk says Truth Social is a dumb name. I have to agree. They should have called it "Tooter". People could then retoot toots.

Posted by: fddd at April 27, 2022 08:51 PM (vrz2I)

254 Never knew either Grandfather, they died long before I was born. Was too young and distant, geographically, to have much of a relationship with my Grandmothers.

Did have a cool step-Grandfather as I recall. He was a small town sheriff. Carried a snub-nose revolver. He shot it once for me, at a tree trunk about ten feet away. Missed. Said,"People are easier to hit." Funny things you remember.

Posted by: Javems at April 27, 2022 08:52 PM (AmoqO)

255 Wonder what my grands will remember about me?

They lived with us when they were very young, but now we live far enough away that they don't come visit. I visit them at their home, or my mother's.

Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2022 08:53 PM (OX9vb)

256 Its in the sidebar about punisher. Its queued up to that one part but you can go back to the beginning I think.

Posted by: Safari Marketing Manager



Also, the Jon Bernthal Punisher is fantastic.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 08:53 PM (1nw4k)

257 The roux came out not bad, but will use a different approach next time.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 27, 2022 08:54 PM (jTmQV)

258 253 Musk says Truth Social is a dumb name. I have to agree. They should have called it "Tooter". People could then retoot toots.
Posted by: fddd at April 27, 2022 08:51 PM (vrz2I)

I don't like it, either. It sounds too much like MiniTru.

Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2022 08:54 PM (OX9vb)

259 Thank you, horde for your hump or and your snark and your thoughts.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:31 PM

We fancy to think we embrace the and side of that "or and", but you're welcome!

Posted by: The Dromedary & Bactrian Commenters of AoSHQ at April 27, 2022 08:54 PM (a3Q+t)

260 Eel slime is viscous and nasty. Were my best hovercraft full of them, I would be very upset.

Posted by: F. Unger at April 27, 2022 08:54 PM (g6+Ik)

261 Pikers.

Posted by: Zombie Mothra at April 27, 2022 08:54 PM (Xrfse)

262 Also, the Jon Bernthal Punisher is fantastic.
Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 08:53 PM (1nw4k)

I loved that show. First couple seasons of Daredevil were terrific, but I heard they lost it by season 3.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Iron Fist in Velvet Glove in Iron Gauntlet Clutching an Iron Mace at April 27, 2022 08:55 PM (Dc2NZ)

263 90 On Wednesday, Democrat Congresswoman Maxine Waters (CA) announced she has tested positive for Covid-19.
-------------

Democrats announcing C - Positive is for attention or a feint.

Kamalala testing positive and taking the new pill was an advert pushing the new pill.

Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 08:55 PM (9lKl7)

264 That last video and parabolas, heh. Look at me going so far forward! Now a bit down, but still the same amount forward. Now quite a bit down, wish there was more forward, splat.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 08:55 PM (0fVbu)

265 Snarky Humps is a great band name.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:56 PM (LKTKP)

266 I still have the long wall clock that hung in the kitchen in my home. She is still raising a fuss.
Posted by: Lost In Space

That's pretty cool.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:56 PM (U2p+3)

267 People would be saying "Did you see my toot?"

Posted by: fdddD at April 27, 2022 08:57 PM (vrz2I)

268 Eris!

I loved Daredevil. Never watched Punisher. Is it worth a try?

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:57 PM (U2p+3)

269 FartClam Social is better.

Smells like Truth to me.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 08:57 PM (LKTKP)

270 Its Hump Day. Nurse, go straight to horny jail.

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 08:58 PM (1NPML)

271 People would be saying "Did you see my toot?"
Posted by: fdddD

-We did and it was a fantastic toot.
-We did and it stunk.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 27, 2022 08:58 PM (4bYBV)

272 I loved Daredevil. Never watched Punisher. Is it worth a try?
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:57 PM (U2p+3)
---

YES!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Iron Fist in Velvet Glove in Iron Gauntlet Clutching an Iron Mace at April 27, 2022 08:59 PM (Dc2NZ)

273 But it stopped
Short
Never to go again
When the old man died

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 27, 2022 08:59 PM (SfD1B)

274 OMG. It's been over a year. We are having a house built on family land and where we are staying, the kitchen leaves a lot to be desired.

Homemade bruschetta with kalamata olives, petite diced tomatos, mozzarella cheese & a dribble of balsamic vinegar. Now to the oven.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2022 08:59 PM (H4qIP)

275 Paternal Grandma was great at cooking anything sweet. Cookies, cakes, whatever. She was the Queen.

Maternal Grandma was great at cooking anything Polish. Pierogi, Golabki, Bigos, whatever. She was also the Queen.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:00 PM (1nw4k)

276 We don't have any grandkids yet. Both of our grown sons are very good men (good jobs, very little drinking, no drugs, no hooking up with random chicks), but have not found the right woman. The dating scene is severely damaged. Younger son does not want to be a dad. Older son really wants to be a dad. But he can't find his soulmate. He's had a few semi-serious relationships, but the woman always flaked put. My sons both cook and clean up after themselves. They should be a woman's dream. But, nah.

I feel far more for their plight than my desire to be a grandpa.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:01 PM (x8Wzq)

277 Allllrighttttyyyyy theeeennnn:


@elonmusk
·
4m
Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 27, 2022 09:02 PM (IEa8U)

278 HUMOR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HUMOR.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 08:32 PM (U2p+3)

I keep my humor in the humidor, where it belongs.
Posted by: Kindltot

she meant Bodily Humours

Posted by: Miklosdoric of York at April 27, 2022 09:02 PM (dr+j+)

279 Heh. Russia has deployed military dolphins to protect its fleet against sabotage by Ukrainian divers.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:03 PM (LKTKP)

280 Here's the first full trailer for this bonkers livestream horror flick called "Dashcam":

https://tinyurl.com/Dashcam-Full-Trailer

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:03 PM (1nw4k)

281 Allllrighttttyyyyy theeeennnn:


@elonmusk
·
4m
Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in
Posted by: weft cut-loop

Elon Musk bought Vidor, Texas for $80 in food stamps and 3 Adderall.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2022 09:04 PM (H4qIP)

282 Maternal Grandma was great at cooking anything Polish. Pierogi, Golabki, Bigos, whatever. She was also the Queen.

Posted by: Sharkman

Bigos

MMMMMM

Posted by: Mikloszczycsinski at April 27, 2022 09:04 PM (dr+j+)

283 Bring on the Ukes!

Posted by: Zombie Flipper at April 27, 2022 09:04 PM (Xrfse)

284 @elonmusk
·
4m
Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 27, 2022 09:02 PM (IEa8U)

There is a lot to do with who is in control, remember with Trump things got much better, not so much because of what he did, but because everyone was pretty certain he wouldn't intentionally screw with them without warning.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:04 PM (xhaym)

285 Miklos !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:04 PM (arJlL)

286 Wonder what my grands will remember about me?

Posted by: April

Boy there's a question that makes you go 'Hmmmmm'.

I have the two closest all the time. I'm pretty sure they like being here as opposed to being with the (MIA) parental units. One day the oldest will figure out I've been bullshitting her about 'vegan' bacon and eggs.

My two in TX I only see 2-3 times a year. But, they seem to know us well and enjoy when we babysit for a week or two when Mom and Dad are traveling. Oddly, we are very close to them. I guess it always isn't how often you see them necessarily.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 09:05 PM (Msys3)

287 JT

Posted by: the Drinking Lamp is LIT at April 27, 2022 09:06 PM (dr+j+)

288 @elonmusk
·
4m
Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in



==

😂 😂

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 09:06 PM (V13WU)

289 she meant Bodily Humours
Posted by: Miklosdoric of York at April 27, 2022 09:02 PM (dr+j+)

so, you've ruled out the small dwarf.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:06 PM (x8Wzq)

290 Elon Musk bought Vidor, Texas for $80 in food stamps and 3 Adderall.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2022 09:04 PM (H4qIP)

Literal wide spot on the road.

Posted by: Javems at April 27, 2022 09:06 PM (AmoqO)

291 279 Heh. Russia has deployed military dolphins to protect its fleet against sabotage by Ukrainian divers.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:03 PM (LKTKP)

Dolphins, the rapists of the sea, gonna try to rape some Ukes.

Don't give in to the dolphins' lusty depredations, Ukes!

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 09:06 PM (t5YNG)

292 I'm in the same spot Pug. Both sons in their 20s and no immediate prospects. I was on my second 29 when I became a dad though so I suppose it could happen before I die.

Posted by: fdddD at April 27, 2022 09:06 PM (vrz2I)

293 People who think men can be pregnant are suddenly worried about misinformation on Twitter.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2022 09:07 PM (H4qIP)

294 People would be saying "Did you see my toot?"
Posted by: fdddD at April 27, 2022 08:57 PM (vrz2I)

He should have called it "Foot Social" so everyone could say, "did you see my feets yesterday?"
And there wouldn't be a dislike button, just "bunions"

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:07 PM (xhaym)

295 Maternal Grandma was great at cooking anything Polish. Pierogi, Golabki, Bigos, whatever. She was also the Queen.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:00 PM (1nw4k)

Polish handgrenades are my favorite.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2022 09:07 PM (gcnla)

296 Wonder what my grands will remember about me?

Mine won't remember much. I only see them once a year. It's sad. I wish I was closer.

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 27, 2022 09:07 PM (nxdel)

297 People who think men can be pregnant are suddenly worried about misinformation on Twitter.
Posted by: rickb223

LOL !!!

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:08 PM (arJlL)

298
she meant Bodily Humours
Posted by: Miklosdoric of York at April 27, 2022 09:02 PM (dr+j+)

go on.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:08 PM (xhaym)

299 Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:01 PM (x8Wzq)

Yeah, Son is 31, and I sure don't see any Grandkids on the horizon... Hell, I'm still trying to get HIS life stable.

He just got laid off.... again...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 27, 2022 09:08 PM (oHd/0)

300 so, you've ruled out the small dwarf.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well

Small?

There's only the one size, really

Posted by: Miklosdoric of York, expert on Bigos at April 27, 2022 09:09 PM (dr+j+)

301 Dr Fauci stands up like a man!

Posted by: Caliban at April 27, 2022 09:09 PM (kr5Re)

302

EMPEACH COVID NINETEEEeeeeee... eee... ee...

*Thud*

Posted by: Maxine Waters' Hair at April 27, 2022 09:09 PM (UGDPW)

303 MMMMMM

Posted by: Mikloszczycsinski



Miklos, I gotta tell ya, Brother, I'm still physically and emotionally suffering on your behalf from the comment you made the late on the ONT the other night about turning down an opportunity to sail from Charleston to Australia and back in '85 because reasons. I've literally been speechless for the past few days about this.

I think the only remedy is to make sure I shanghai you onto the crew for an epic sail in August in the Florida Keys. It isn't a trip to Australia and back, but it's the least I can do for you.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:09 PM (1nw4k)

304 My sons both cook and clean up after themselves. They should be a woman's dream. But, nah.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:01 PM (x8Wzq)

Tell them to be farting, cussing, asshole slobs. Those dudes get all the chicks.

And hair pulling. Chicks dig having their hair pulled during...ya know.

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 09:09 PM (t5YNG)

305 Yeah, Son is 31, and I sure don't see any Grandkids on the horizon... Hell, I'm still trying to get HIS life stable.

He just got laid off.... again...
Posted by: Romeo13

Will he be called back ?

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:10 PM (arJlL)

306 Dolphins, the rapists of the sea, gonna try to rape some Ukes.

Don't give in to the dolphins' lusty depredations, Ukes!
Posted by: Robert

NATO is supply us with otters

Posted by: Ukrainian Miklos at April 27, 2022 09:10 PM (dr+j+)

307 288 @elonmusk
·
4m
Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 09:06 PM (V13WU)

Clearly you are trying to influence Coca Cola Stock, and we don't believe you have the capital to buy it, so you are once more under investigation.

Posted by: Security Exchange Commision at April 27, 2022 09:11 PM (oHd/0)

308 Polish handgrenades are my favorite.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory



Your Grandma used to fart into her hand and then throw it into your face?

Rude.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:11 PM (1nw4k)

309 Tell them to be farting, cussing, asshole slobs. Those dudes get all the chicks.

And hair pulling. Chicks dig having their hair pulled during...ya know.
Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 09:09 PM (t5YNG)

Put on a leather jackets comb grease into their hair and say things like: "Yo! I'm, karate here!" with a Brooklyn accent.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:11 PM (x8Wzq)

310 she meant Bodily Humours
Posted by: Miklosdoric of York at April 27, 2022 09:02 PM (dr+j+)

go on.
Posted by: Kindltot

Get the Balance Right

Posted by: Depeche Miklos-Mode at April 27, 2022 09:12 PM (dr+j+)

311 On Wednesday, Democrat Congresswoman Maxine Waters (CA) announced she has tested positive for Covid-19.

-
Well, I knew she didn't test positive for intelligence.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Proprietor of the Outrage Outlet at April 27, 2022 09:12 PM (FVME7)

312 Brian Stelter is

CANDYASS
https://youtu.be/jvT9uZfB1OA

Yeah, it's old but it's new to me...

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik [DHS Verdict: MDM] at April 27, 2022 09:12 PM (DTX3h)

313 305 Yeah, Son is 31, and I sure don't see any Grandkids on the horizon... Hell, I'm still trying to get HIS life stable.

He just got laid off.... again...
Posted by: Romeo13

Will he be called back ?
Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:10 PM (arJlL)

Nope.... they outsourced his job overseas. Which is going to be interesting as he was essentially the troubleshooter who fixed bad Loan Application paperwork for Mortgages. Don't see how someone in Indonesia is going to be able to do that.

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 27, 2022 09:13 PM (oHd/0)

314 It isn't a trip to Australia and back, but it's the least I can do for you.
Posted by: Sharkman

thank you

I am still in recovery

Posted by: Miklos Needs Therapy, and Elvis Needs Boats at April 27, 2022 09:13 PM (dr+j+)

315
Posted by: MOLESTER UNIVERSE MITT ROMNEY at April 27, 2022 09:11 PM (1IJnB)

thank you, oh great Poobah for you wisdom and foresight


Posted by: runner at April 27, 2022 09:13 PM (V13WU)

316 she meant Bodily Humours
Posted by: Miklosdoric of York

Tank Abrams had a humorous body.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Proprietor of the Outrage Outlet at April 27, 2022 09:13 PM (FVME7)

317 Halupkis (sp). Ground seasoned meat rolled into cabbage leaves, simmered in tomato sauce with a bit of sauerkraut. Fantastic.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2022 09:13 PM (gcnla)

318 Eris!

I loved Daredevil. Never watched Punisher. Is it worth a try?

Posted by: nurse ratched



It's everything Daredevil was not. In other words, Punisher kills people instead of sparing them so he has to fight the same people 100 times every season like Daredevil did.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:13 PM (1nw4k)

319 Miklos, I gotta tell ya, Brother, I'm still physically and emotionally suffering on your behalf from the comment you made the late on the ONT the other night about turning down an opportunity to sail from Charleston to Australia and back in '85 because reasons. I've literally been speechless for the past few days about this.

I think the only remedy is to make sure I shanghai you onto the crew for an epic sail in August in the Florida Keys. It isn't a trip to Australia and back, but it's the least I can do for you.
Posted by: Sharkman

Nice !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:14 PM (arJlL)

320 Will he be called back ?
Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:10 PM (arJlL)

Nope.... they outsourced his job overseas. Which is going to be interesting as he was essentially the troubleshooter who fixed bad Loan Application paperwork for Mortgages. Don't see how someone in Indonesia is going to be able to do that.
Posted by: Romeo13

ooof !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:15 PM (arJlL)

321 I am still in recovery

Posted by: Miklos Needs Therapy, and Elvis Needs Boats



I don't doubt. I don't think I could have recovered from that decision.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:15 PM (1nw4k)

322 Pug,
My
Oldest is a sweet kid. He's 25 and never she a girlfriend. He's the guy all the girls ask to dinner after they've been dumped because they know he will Treat them like ladies and not be a schmuck.

He was like that in high school. Freaking GORGEOUS girl (at the sister school) was his date to all the dances. She loved going with him. He didn't get that she LIKE LIKED him.

I guess I'd rather my boys were nerdy gentleman than fathers by various girls.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 09:15 PM (U2p+3)

323 Don't see how someone in Indonesia is going to be able to do that.

How may I hep roo?

Posted by: Ralph in Indonesia at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (Xrfse)

324 Nice !
Posted by: JT

Yu speled "noice" rong

Posted by: Miklos , consulting Stylebook at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (dr+j+)

325 Halupkis (sp). Ground seasoned meat rolled into cabbage leaves, simmered in tomato sauce with a bit of sauerkraut. Fantastic.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory



Yep, Grandma made those, too. I just never heard them called that before.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (1nw4k)

326 There's a pic of Amber Heard at the _DM without makeup. She looks like a genetic defect.

https://is.gd/q6lDr0

Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (9lKl7)

327 I'm old school, but I liked the Tom Jane Punisher. Although I do like Jon Bernthal (was Shane in Walking Dead). So I might like that one too. Eh. I'll add it to my 40-foot high stack of Shit I Gotta Watch.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (x8Wzq)

328 Will be interesting to see how long before The Ministry of Truth hauls Musk before a liberal judge.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:17 PM (LKTKP)

329 Nice !
Posted by: JT

Yu speled "noice" rong
Posted by: Miklos , consulting Stylebook

o

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:17 PM (arJlL)

330 I'm out. Wasn't able to get to the shipper in time before their cutoff so I get to go back early. First come, first serve so I don't want to be Mr. Sloppy Seconds.

Stay free. Keep the faith.

Night!

Posted by: Robert at April 27, 2022 09:18 PM (kfr3A)

331 Band is 'Kaleo', and it's an Icelandic kid singing 'Way Down We Go'. I could have sworn this was going to be a Mississippi band.
Posted by: t-bird

Kaleo has a lot of great songs. I've got them on my Pandora rotation. Didn't know they were Icelandic.

Posted by: Taqiyyologist, Rickrolled by Jesus at April 27, 2022 09:19 PM (OssQ4)

332 Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (9lKl7)

Whoa she looks really... Biden-y there. Does Hunter date outside the family? Looks like a perfect pairing.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice, Yenta From Hell at April 27, 2022 09:19 PM (UGDPW)

333 Heard looks like she’s been on a five day crack bender.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2022 09:20 PM (gcnla)

334 I guess I'd rather my boys were nerdy gentleman than fathers by various girls.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 09:15 PM (U2p+3)

I get it. My boys are polite, funny, respectful, and (thank the Lord) are very careful about whom they become involved with.

Bottom line: Ladies, you are missing out on a couple of fine young gentlemen.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:20 PM (x8Wzq)

335 Good night, Robert.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:20 PM (u82oZ)

336 326 There's a pic of Amber Heard at the _DM without makeup. She looks like a genetic defect.

https://is.gd/q6lDr0

Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (9lKl7)

"Haggard" comes to mind.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:21 PM (II3Gr)

337 Heard looks like she’s been on a five day crack bender.

In more ways than one.

Posted by: Ralph in Indonesia at April 27, 2022 09:21 PM (Xrfse)

338 I'd rather talk to someone from Indonesia who tries to solve the problem than someone from America that doesn't know sh*t, that is dismissive of the problem, puts you on hold then transfers you to an automated menu.

Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:21 PM (9lKl7)

339 I get it. My boys are polite, funny, respectful, and (thank the Lord) are very careful about whom they become involved with.

Bottom line: Ladies, you are missing out on a couple of fine young gentlemen.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:20 PM (x8Wzq)

Sadly that means they'll be the guys chicks will try to get them to wife them up after they've finished riding the carousel and the wall is right around the corner.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:22 PM (II3Gr)

340 326 There's a pic of Amber Heard at the _DM without makeup. She looks like a genetic defect.

https://is.gd/q6lDr0

Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (9lKl7)

"Haggard" comes to mind.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker.

Merle ?

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:22 PM (arJlL)

341 I'm old school, but I liked the Tom Jane Punisher. Although I do like Jon Bernthal (was Shane in Walking Dead). So I might like that one too. Eh. I'll add it to my 40-foot high stack of Shit I Gotta Watch.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well



Have you seen the movie "The Accountant", with Ben Affleck and Bernthal? They both did a great job in that.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:23 PM (1nw4k)

342 Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:21 PM (9lKl7)

apparently we've had WAY different experiences with Foreign Help Desks.

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 27, 2022 09:23 PM (oHd/0)

343 My girl's an actual genetic defect, and she looks beautiful and wholesome (though that's partly down to her awesome surgeons).

Heard just looks like your average clapped-out basehead whackadoo there.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 09:23 PM (UGDPW)

344 Sorry. ended my last comment with a preposition.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:23 PM (x8Wzq)

345 Heard looks like she’s been on a five day crack bender.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory

We all do at this point in the psyop, brother. And we have at least 8 years to go. Embrace the chaos and ride the tiger.

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 09:23 PM (1NPML)

346 I'd rather talk to someone from Indonesia who tries to solve the problem than someone from America that doesn't know sh*t, that is dismissive of the problem, puts you on hold then transfers you to an automated menu.

Thank you. Please press 1 for customer assistance...

Posted by: Ralph in Indonesia at April 27, 2022 09:23 PM (Xrfse)

347 Dog is asshoe.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at April 27, 2022 09:24 PM (hwaFC)

348 Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (9lKl7)

that giant pimple on her right cheek will soon explode with baby spiders.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:24 PM (x8Wzq)

349 Sorry. ended my last comment with a preposition.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well

(Don't tell Miklos !)

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:24 PM (arJlL)

350 There's a pic of Amber Heard at the _DM without makeup. She looks like a genetic defect.

https://is.gd/q6lDr0

Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:16 PM (9lKl7)

"Haggard" comes to mind.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker.

Nah, she fucked with the lighting and filter to make that fake and gay bruise pop.

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 09:25 PM (1NPML)

351
"Haggard" comes to mind.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker.
---------------

Her skull has an unnatural shape; the size of her cranium and eyes in relationship to the mid portion of her face, it's all out of proportion. It looks like genetic malfunction.

Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:25 PM (9lKl7)

352 Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:24 PM (x8Wzq)

LOL gross

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 09:25 PM (UGDPW)

353 347 Dog is asshoe.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at April 27, 2022 09:24 PM (hwaFC

Did he eat your Golabki?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:25 PM (LKTKP)

354 Sorry. ended my last comment with a preposition.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 27, 2022 09:23 PM (x8Wzq)

such things we should not up with put

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:25 PM (xhaym)

355 apparently we've had WAY different experiences with Foreign Help Desks.
Posted by: Romeo13 at April 27, 2022 09:23 PM (oHd/0)

My only experience with a foreign help desk involved HP, and a guy who couldn't speak English but was reading phonetically off some kind of flowchart. It was a fucking train wreck.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:26 PM (II3Gr)

356 @328

>>Will be interesting to see how long before The Ministry of Truth hauls Musk before a liberal judge.

Five minutes after the sale is final, which will be in a couple of months, so Fall of 22, which just so happens to coincide with another big event in the fall of 22.

Hmmm...

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 27, 2022 09:26 PM (FDCW/)

357 that giant pimple on her right cheek will soon explode with baby spiders.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well



I think she showed that pic in court to support her false allegation that Depp hit her on that spot.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 27, 2022 09:26 PM (1nw4k)

358 Sorry. ended my last comment with a preposition.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well

(Don't tell Miklos !)
Posted by: JT

Up with that I will not put.

Posted by: Miklos, quoting Churchill at April 27, 2022 09:27 PM (dr+j+)

359 I'd rather talk to someone from Indonesia who tries to solve the problem than someone from America that doesn't know sh*t, that is dismissive of the problem, puts you on hold then transfers you to an automated menu.

*

I love calling tech support for our internet and telling the poor dumb bastard what's wrong and what they need to do, and they have to go through the pictogram list and ask me different questions and have me perform different actions.

Two hours later, they tell me that exactly what I told them when I first spoke to them on the phone, and they tell me that they're going to do exactly what I suggested they needed to do.

And it only took two hours of me not understanding what Patete Pagleeshi - sorry, "Charlie" - was saying, and "Charlie" not giving a damn about what I was saying.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 27, 2022 09:27 PM (SfD1B)

360 Express its glands!

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 09:27 PM (1NPML)

361 Five minutes after the sale is final, which will be in a couple of months, so Fall of 22, which just so happens to coincide with another big event in the fall of 22.

Hmmm...
Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 27, 2022 09:26 PM (FDCW/)


So they shut down Twitter for 'misinformation' right before the election?

Wouldn't shock me.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:27 PM (LKTKP)

362 273 But it stopped
Short
Never to go again
When the old man died

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 27, 2022 08:59 PM

------
Very good song!

Posted by: 496 at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (U1eOr)

363 My only experience with a foreign help desk involved HP, and a guy who couldn't speak English but was reading phonetically off some kind of flowchart. It was a fucking train wreck.

*

CHARLIE!

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (SfD1B)

364 Did he eat your Golabki?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:25 PM (LKTKP)


He ate everyone's Golabki.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (hwaFC)

365 BULL, good revenge movie and I liked the ending

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (dKiJG)

366 @328

>>Will be interesting to see how long before The Ministry of Truth hauls Musk before a liberal judge.

Five minutes after the sale is final, which will be in a couple of months, so Fall of 22, which just so happens to coincide with another big event in the fall of 22.

Hmmm...
Posted by: Thomas Bender

The World Series !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (arJlL)

367 My only experience with a foreign help desk involved HP, and a guy who couldn't speak English but was reading phonetically off some kind of flowchart. It was a fucking train wreck.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:26 PM (II3Gr)

I just get scammers with heavy accents. I think I will start asking them what they are wearing.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (xhaym)

368 Up with that I will not put.
Posted by: Miklos, quoting Churchill

and props to Kindltot, The Bringer of Barbarettes

Posted by: Miklos, with proper collegial respect at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (dr+j+)

369 Two months ago, the manager of our big Dillons grocery store was down 60 people, and he was looking pretty fit pushing a pallet jack. He was covering for a lot of people.

Yesterday, I saw him (looking less buff) and I asked him how his staffing levels were. He said great, at full capacity. No worried.

So things have improved at the local level.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (u82oZ)

370 Dog as government - looks like Moon Moon's bully brother

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (kf6Ak)

371 CHARLIE!
Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (SfD1B)

Yeah, Charkeeshtrakumar Pattuvindalimashk

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:29 PM (II3Gr)

372 Hands of Stone Ronnie Garvin.
(How based can this man be?)

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 09:29 PM (1NPML)

373 I just get scammers with heavy accents. I think I will start asking them what they are wearing.
Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (xhaym)

"Sari, wrong number"

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:30 PM (II3Gr)

374 CHARLIE!
Posted by: Moron Robbie

Didn't Bobby Short sing that commercial?

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 09:30 PM (Msys3)

375 SHUT UP THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI!

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at April 27, 2022 09:30 PM (hwaFC)

376 364 Did he eat your Golabki?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:25 PM (LKTKP)


He ate everyone's Golabki.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at April 27, 2022 09:28 PM (hwaFC

Why did everyone leave their Golabki unprotected near the Polish dog?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:30 PM (LKTKP)

377 @366

>>The World Series!

Which the Mets will triumphantly win in a sweep of dreaded Yankees revenging their 2000 loss in The Subway Series.

Book it.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 27, 2022 09:30 PM (FDCW/)

378 Did he eat your Golabki?
Posted by: AlaBAMA

Kishka

https://tinyurl.com/42uasr8r

Posted by: Mikloskrzyewczki at April 27, 2022 09:31 PM (dr+j+)

379 I just get scammers with heavy accents. I think I will start asking them what they are wearing.
Posted by: Kindltot

Hollo, Theees is Peggeee!

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 09:31 PM (Msys3)

380 Why did everyone leave their Golabki unprotected near the Polish dog?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:30 PM (LKTKP)


They said he was a guarddog.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at April 27, 2022 09:31 PM (hwaFC)

381 CHARLIE!
Posted by: Moron Robbie

Didn't Bobby Short sing that commercial?
Posted by: Tonypete

Richard Long

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (arJlL)

382 Why did everyone leave their Golabki unprotected near the Polish dog?
Posted by: AlaBAMA

Because the Huns were on our ass.

Posted by: weft cut-sloovak at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (IEa8U)

383 I called cs to book a hotel room on points. Gtdfavabafa answers the phone and starts taking information slowly. I hear a fucking rooster in the background.

I should have tried to place a bet. $100 on Rooster Cogburn.

We’re just treading water in a fucking septic tank.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (gcnla)

384 I think I might have a touch of food poisoning. Or as my family calls it, a cleansing.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (hwaFC)

385 A hillbilly gets into Haaah-vud, and on his first day, he goes up to a foppish, inbred New England dandy, and says "Hey there, buddy - where's the bathroom at?"

The fancy little pansy scoffs at him... "Don't you know better than to end a sentence with a preposition?"

The hillbilly replies "Excuse me... Where's the bathroom at, asshole?"

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (UGDPW)

386 Kishka

Posted by: Mikloskrzyewczki

Frankie Yankovic did it the best!

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (Msys3)

387 My cat is traumatized because I took off his old flea collar and put on a new one. It's the worst thing that has ever happened.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (7cRTM)

388 CHARLIE!
Posted by: Moron Robbie

HE'S UNDER THE WIRE!!!

Posted by: Miklos is stylish Full Metal Smoking Jacket at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (dr+j+)

389 Kishka

https://tinyurl.com/42uasr8r
Posted by: Mikloskrzyewczki at April 27, 2022 09:31 PM (dr+j


Did they ever figure out who stole it? Is Grump's Polish doggo a suspects?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (LKTKP)

390 388 CHARLIE!
Posted by: Moron Robbie

HE'S UNDER THE WIRE!!!
Posted by: Miklos is stylish Full Metal Smoking Jacket at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (dr+j+)

BROKEN ARROW, REPEAT, BROKEN ARROW!!!

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:33 PM (II3Gr)

391 I just get scammers with heavy accents. I think I will start asking them what they are wearing.
Posted by: Kindltot

I ask for their Mom's curry vindaloo recipe.

Posted by: Miklos never gets a satisfactory response at April 27, 2022 09:34 PM (dr+j+)

392 Possible holy handgrenade found

https://tinyurl.com/2p9c5fc5

(Just kidding. It was probably used against crusaders)

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:35 PM (xhaym)

393 I mostly get robo calls. Car warranty, etc.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 27, 2022 09:35 PM (3NKiY)

394 Ultraman!!!

Was my most favoritest TV show ever! Loved the theme song and every episode (of the original, that's all that channel 20 showed). I'm going to watch an episode right now.

Posted by: SFGoth at April 27, 2022 09:35 PM (KAi1n)

395 391 I just get scammers with heavy accents. I think I will start asking them what they are wearing.
Posted by: Kindltot

I ask for their Mom's curry vindaloo recipe.
Posted by: Miklos never gets a satisfactory response at April 27, 2022 09:34 PM (dr+j


I ask if they'll get my boots from under their mom's bed because I had to leave in a hurry.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:35 PM (LKTKP)

396 What did he say the other day?

All Democrats are assholes and the only way to screw them is to vote in Republican dicks.

Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:35 PM (9lKl7)

397 Was my most favoritest TV show ever! Loved the theme song and every episode (of the original, that's all that channel 20 showed). I'm going to watch an episode right now.
Posted by: SFGoth

For me, the best theme music was for Jonny Quest.

https://youtu.be/SIhEpjnaNlo

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 09:37 PM (Msys3)

398 I talked to a customer once that said he spent 8 hours on overseas tech support with Dell. Then the tech said "My shift is over now" and hung up on him. He called back and happened to get Dell support in the US. Problem was resolved in 15 minutes.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:37 PM (5HBd1)

399 392 Possible holy handgrenade found

https://tinyurl.com/2p9c5fc5

(Just kidding. It was probably used against crusaders)
Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:35 PM (xhaym)

"The sherds studied were excavated from the Armenian Garden in Jerusalem in the 1960s, and analysed for trace residue to determine their contents."

Sherds?

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 27, 2022 09:38 PM (3NKiY)

400 Posted by: SFGoth at April 27, 2022 09:35 PM (KAi1n)

Your hash would make me believe you loved Kung Fu too.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:38 PM (LKTKP)

401 Well, I knew she didn't test positive for intelligence.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Proprietor of the Outrage Outlet at April 27, 2022 09:12 PM (FVME7)

For sure, THAT test would have come back negative!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~every book has been totally rewritten ~ at April 27, 2022 09:38 PM (hOUT3)

402 I ask if they'll get my boots from under their mom's bed because I had to leave in a hurry.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

*screams*

*bashes monitor with shoe*

Posted by: Mullah Miklos, austere bibulous scholar at April 27, 2022 09:38 PM (dr+j+)

403 So I'm watching a movie and someone in it says "Homo Sapiens", but on the closed captioning the text says "xxxx Sapiens". F'n ridiculous.

Posted by: fd at April 27, 2022 09:39 PM (vrz2I)

404 There is a stomach flu making the rounds that seems like food poisoning. That's likely what you have. I had it two weeks ago.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:39 PM (5HBd1)

405 All Democrats are assholes and the only way to screw them is to vote in Republican dicks.
Posted by: Braenyard - always late at April 27, 2022 09:35 PM (9lKl7)

I hate it when the truth hurts!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~every book has been totally rewritten ~ at April 27, 2022 09:39 PM (hOUT3)

406 I had to leave in a curry...


Damn, I left that one on the table.

Bad AlaBAMA! Bad!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:40 PM (LKTKP)

407 I got a call with an unfamiliar number today and absentmindedly answered it with a "Hello" instead of ignoring it.
There was a pause then a very surprised-sounding guy of indeterminate accent started greeting me effusively: "Good evening! How are ..."
"I don't have time for this". End call.

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 27, 2022 09:40 PM (kf6Ak)

408 @ElonMusk

Twitter DMs should have end to end encryption like Signal, so no one can spy on or hack your messages

Posted by: The Vooter at April 27, 2022 09:40 PM (1NPML)

409 "The sherds studied were excavated from the Armenian Garden in Jerusalem in the 1960s, and analysed for trace residue to determine their contents."

Sherds?
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Yes, Sherds found in Keeve by Ghenghis Khan.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 09:41 PM (Msys3)

410 I guess I'd rather my boys were nerdy gentleman than fathers by various girls.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2022 09:15 PM (U2p+3)

May i interest them in a rather shy 105 lb 5' 3" little bundle of sugar I call Boswell' s

Posted by: Boswell at April 27, 2022 09:41 PM (5iUNf)

411 spawn - who won the NY State golf championship at 18?

Posted by: Boswell at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (5iUNf)

412 We’re just treading water in a fucking septic tank.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2022 09:32 PM (gcnla)

But it is a diverse, inclusive, equitable tank!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~every book has been totally rewritten ~ at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (hOUT3)

413 407 I got a call with an unfamiliar number today and absentmindedly answered it with a "Hello" instead of ignoring it.
There was a pause then a very surprised-sounding guy of indeterminate accent started greeting me effusively: "Good evening! How are ..."
"I don't have time for this". End call.
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 27, 2022 09:40 PM (kf6Ak)

*turns to shift supervisor*

No one ever answers! What do I say now??

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (LKTKP)

414 The thing I hate the most about fake robo help calls is the fake typing sound. I bet there's fake typing sounds in hell. It took me a quarter hour to actually find a Comcast number last week and I did I got the stupid robot voice and fake typing. The real live Indian dude they connected me to fixed the problem in a couple minutes though.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (FJ81s)

415 I got a call with an unfamiliar number today and absentmindedly answered it with a "Hello" instead of ignoring it.
There was a pause then a very surprised-sounding guy of indeterminate accent started greeting me effusively: "Good evening! How are ..."
"I don't have time for this". End call.
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion

You're nicer than I am.
A LOT nicer !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (arJlL)

416 Had a problem with a Dell laptop at work once. A customer service rep on the phone told me I needed a new motherboard and someone would be at the office next day at 09:00 to replace it. Sure I thought. Guy was waiting for me when I got to work.

Posted by: Javems at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (AmoqO)

417 That's what we need, a Horde matchmaker service.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (5HBd1)

418
Arrange the marriage.

Do it now.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (UGDPW)

419 58 The fact that Japan doesn't just have googles that project AR Gundam fights all over the place surprises me.

Posted by: Flyguy at April 27, 2022 07:50 PM (dpJ62)

Marty, ignore the 3d advertising.--Doc Brown

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 27, 2022 09:43 PM (ynpvh)

420 "Good day my name is Roger please for to be helping you most willingly with your problem today!"

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:43 PM (II3Gr)

421 I think Hogmartin borrowed the kishka for certain research at the MeatLab.

Posted by: Miklos has theories at April 27, 2022 09:43 PM (dr+j+)

422 417 That's what we need, a Horde matchmaker service.
Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (5HBd1)

All that phosphorous exposure is terribly hazardous to your health.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:43 PM (II3Gr)

423 411 spawn - who won the NY State golf championship at 18?
Posted by: Boswell at April 27, 2022 09:42 PM (5iUNf)

I do feel rather like the hot dog king selling his daughter to the muster queen... to quote a famous movie.

Posted by: Boswell at April 27, 2022 09:44 PM (5iUNf)

424 Yes, Sherds found in Keeve by Ghenghis Khan.
Posted by: Tonypete

Those sherds are OURS!

Posted by: the Kurds at April 27, 2022 09:44 PM (dr+j+)

425 Boswell, how many goats and blankets will you give nurse?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 09:44 PM (UGDPW)

426 That's what we need, a Horde matchmaker service.
Posted by: Notsothoreau

Hold on there - let's think this through. . .

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2022 09:44 PM (Msys3)

427 May i interest them in a rather shy 105 lb 5' 3" little bundle of sugar I call Boswell' s
Posted by: Boswell at April 27, 2022 09:41 PM (5iUNf)

Is there a minimum bid?

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:45 PM (II3Gr)

428 "The sherds studied were excavated from the Armenian Garden in Jerusalem in the 1960s, and analysed for trace residue to determine their contents."

Sherds?
Posted by: Aetius451AD
*

It's a fancy way of saying shards.

That's not a joke. It's the "academic" way.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 27, 2022 09:45 PM (SfD1B)

429 425 Boswell, how many goats and blankets will you give nurse?
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 09:44 PM (UGDPW


She's also worth two lbs of rice. Don't sell her short!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:45 PM (LKTKP)

430 That's what we need, a Horde matchmaker service.
Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward

What are your hobbies ?

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:45 PM (arJlL)

431 polish dogs are better with sauerkraut

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:45 PM (xhaym)

432 "Good day my name is Roger please for to be helping you most willingly with your problem today!"
Posted by: Insomniac

Your training was performing in quite excellent fashion

Posted by: Miklos at the Bangalore Call Centre of Excellence at April 27, 2022 09:45 PM (dr+j+)

433 Husband had a Russian immigrant working for him named Viktor. The pastor of the church he went to said " Viktor, it is time for you to be married" and introduced him to a woman from the church. Viktor did as he was told and it seemed to be pretty successful.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:46 PM (5HBd1)

434 431 polish dogs are better with sauerkraut

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:45 PM (xhaym)

I'll have to defer to Obama when it comes to topping for dogs.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 27, 2022 09:46 PM (ynpvh)

435 417 That's what we need, a Horde matchmaker service.
Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward

Absolutely. We give such great relationship advice!

And with your skills we should make you the CEO.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:47 PM (u82oZ)

436 That's not a joke. It's the "academic" way.
Posted by: Moron Robbie

Professor, um...could I buy some pot sherds from you?

Posted by: My Delta name is Miklos (tri-Delt is Tiffani) at April 27, 2022 09:47 PM (dr+j+)

437
And with your skills we should make you the CEO.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:47 PM (u82oZ)

Chief Engagement Officer?

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:47 PM (II3Gr)

438 There's a guy who hacks the dudes on robo calls to mess with them. He also has a scam where he plays along creating the google gift cards then right as they are trying to get him to send the code for the money he sends it to himself by 'accident'.

It's hilarious.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:47 PM (LKTKP)

439 Boswell, how many goats and blankets will you give nurse?
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2022 09:44 PM (UGDPW)

She shall live her days under Boswell's tent, and partake of our livestock and drink from thy well, and joy shall follow the house of Boswell and Nurse the rest of our lives...so let it be written, so let it be done.

Posted by: Boswell at April 27, 2022 09:48 PM (5iUNf)

440 I am good with relationships but not good at all with dating advice.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:48 PM (5HBd1)

441 >>> Yes, Sherds found in Keeve by Ghenghis Khan.
Posted by: Tonypete

Those sherds are OURS!
Posted by: the Kurds at April 27, 2022 09:44 PM (dr+j+)

I told you, the guys get sherds

Posted by: Paul Ankhan at April 27, 2022 09:48 PM (FJ81s)

442 440 I am good with relationships but not good at all with dating advice.
Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:48 PM (5HBd1)

I pretty much suck at both it seems.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:49 PM (II3Gr)

443 Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker.

Excellent! You broke the code.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:49 PM (u82oZ)

444 That's what we need, a Horde matchmaker service.
Posted by: Notsothoreau
___

lol

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 09:49 PM (mELnC)

445 Does Nurse know she's married yet?

Maybe someone should tell her we just sold her for a goat, a blanket and a bag of rice?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:49 PM (LKTKP)

446 You're nicer than I am.
A LOT nicer !
Posted by: JT

I'm actually very nice when I have to call customer service. If there's an automatic "call you back" option I use that, otherwise I keep the phone on speaker while the system has me on hold for up to an hour sometimes, letting the execrable hold music play, while I do chores. When someone finally answers I get right to the point.

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 27, 2022 09:49 PM (kf6Ak)

447 Not sure I could give cooking advice to young women though.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:49 PM (5HBd1)

448 441 >>> Yes, Sherds found in Keeve by Ghenghis Khan.
Posted by: Tonypete

Those sherds are OURS!
Posted by: the Kurds at April 27, 2022 09:44 PM (dr+j+)

I told you, the guys get sherds

Posted by: Paul Ankhan at April 27, 2022 09:48 PM (FJ81s)

Maybe they mistook it for herds, as in lots of sheep...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 27, 2022 09:50 PM (ynpvh)

449 Professor, um...could I buy some pot sherds from you?

Posted by: My Delta name is Miklos (tri-Delt is Tiffani) at April 27, 2022 09:47 PM (dr+j+)

Ostracism is being exiled by cracked-pots

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:50 PM (xhaym)

450 I pretty much suck at both it seems.
Posted by: Insomniac
___

{{{Insom}}}

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (mELnC)

451 The Horde matchmaker service has worked before.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (gcnla)

452 440 I am good with relationships but not good at all with dating advice.
Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:48 PM (5HBd1)

I pretty much suck at both it seems.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker.

You should go on Maury !

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (arJlL)

453 I am good with relationships but not good at all with dating advice.
Posted by: Notsothoreau

Hot.Iron.
Slapped.

Posted by: MNiklos is tapped into the Repository of All Knowlegdes at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (dr+j+)

454 Notsothoreau

I think there have been 6 marriages from within the horde that I know of. Probably more exist.

That seems like a good number for a smart military blog.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (u82oZ)

455 446 You're nicer than I am.
A LOT nicer !
Posted by: JT

I'm actually very nice when I have to call customer service. If there's an automatic "call you back" option I use that, otherwise I keep the phone on speaker while the system has me on hold for up to an hour sometimes, letting the execrable hold music play, while I do chores. When someone finally answers I get right to the point.

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 27, 2022 09:49 PM (kf6Ak)

What I hate is when the interrupt the music every minute or two to tell you to be patient. Damn it! It draws my attention to it every time.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (ynpvh)

456 I am so proud, I think that was my most obscure pun ever, in English.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (xhaym)

457 440 I am good with relationships but not good at all with dating advice.
Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:48 PM (5HBd1)

------------

The Doctor is [IN]

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 27, 2022 09:52 PM (XG2Fi)

458 Whenever I get a help desk manned by somebody who seems to be an actual American, doing a job in America, for Americans, I always send a thank you email to the company, & mention the name of the person who tried to help me.

Posted by: mnw at April 27, 2022 09:52 PM (NLIak)

459
You should go on Maury !
Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (arJlL)

"You are NOT the father!"
No shit, I've never even seen this broad before today!

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:52 PM (II3Gr)

460 Yes, but we need a way for that to trickle down to the children of the Horde.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at April 27, 2022 09:52 PM (5HBd1)

461 Salty!

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 09:52 PM (mELnC)

462
Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (mELnC)

{{{SMH}}}

You're kind. But it's true.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:53 PM (II3Gr)

463 The Doctor is [IN]
Posted by: Cicero

Indeed

Posted by: Prof. Dr. Chikoadinaka Wnankpa, Healer Of Herbalist Knowlewdges at April 27, 2022 09:53 PM (dr+j+)

464 {{{SMH}}}!
* Respectful tip of the hat to Ex-Ex. *

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:53 PM (u82oZ)

465 You should go on Maury !
Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:51 PM (arJlL)

"You are NOT the father!"
No shit, I've never even seen this broad before today!
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker.

LOL !!!

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 09:54 PM (arJlL)

466 Can we dance wit yo dates?

Posted by: Ralph in Indonesia at April 27, 2022 09:54 PM (Xrfse)

467
I'll have to defer to Obama when it comes to topping for dogs.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 27, 2022 09:46 PM (ynpvh)

five to one Obama was using sambal. Satay is to oily for dog

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2022 09:54 PM (xhaym)

468 When someone finally answers I get right to the point.

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby


And by "the point" she means a specific sharp point.

Posted by: Miklos will issue a refund NOW at April 27, 2022 09:54 PM (dr+j+)

469 Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker.

Now throw a tire iron and start a fight for the real Jerry Springer TV feeling.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:55 PM (u82oZ)

470 373 I just get scammers with heavy accents. I think I will start asking them what they are wearing. Posted by: Kindlto

Any of the named Vijaya with censorship experience?

Posted by: Lost In Space - Now fortified with Green Chilis at April 27, 2022 09:55 PM (9I3i5)

471 I'm guessing the Horde matchmaker service would be a hot dog fest. All the wimminz are married.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 27, 2022 09:55 PM (LKTKP)

472 Now throw a tire iron and start a fight for the real Jerry Springer TV feeling.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:55 PM (u82oZ)

A whole lotta people on those shows need a good beating.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:56 PM (II3Gr)

473 I am so proud, I think that was my most obscure pun ever, in English.
Posted by: Kindltot

Works better in Austrian.

Posted by: Miklos von und zu Miklostein at April 27, 2022 09:56 PM (dr+j+)

474 Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker.

Well, you got the right attitude. We need to get you a You Tube channel.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:57 PM (u82oZ)

475 But first let the House of Boswell display its wares to the House of Nurse:

https://dave409aos.___bb.com/

Posted by: Boswell at April 27, 2022 09:58 PM (5iUNf)

476 What I hate is when the interrupt the music every minute or two to tell you to be patient. Damn it! It draws my attention to it every time.
Posted by: jim

It's very important to us

Posted by: recorded voice of Miklos at April 27, 2022 09:58 PM (dr+j+)

477 Well, you got the right attitude. We need to get you a You Tube channel.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:57 PM (u82oZ)

I'll have to use some kind of animated avatar or something. I've got a face for radio and a voice for print.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 27, 2022 09:58 PM (II3Gr)

478 Somebody bled all over the sidebar.

Posted by: Paul Ankhan at April 27, 2022 09:58 PM (FJ81s)

479 Have a great night, everyone.

May you find that person who makes you want to live life to the fullest. And who sorta likes you back.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at April 27, 2022 09:59 PM (u82oZ)

480 Sucks to be the lookout elephant when everybody else gets to sleep.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 27, 2022 09:59 PM (lgeFv)

481 I must confess I am hooked on the pro disc golf tour as covered on the JomesPro Youtube channel. The only time the players take a knee is when they land a shot in a bush.

Posted by: Lost In Space - Now fortified with Green Chilis at April 27, 2022 09:59 PM (9I3i5)

482 Elon replying to a meme tweet that read "Now I'm going to buyMcDonald's and fix all of the ice cream machines...

@elonmusk
·
2m
Listen, I can’t do miracles ok

Posted by: weft cut-sloovak at April 27, 2022 09:59 PM (IEa8U)

483 almost willowed by

ONT

Posted by: weft cut-sloovak at April 27, 2022 10:01 PM (IEa8U)

484 I'll have to use some kind of animated avatar or something. I've got a face for radio and a voice for print.
___

Oh bullshit.

Posted by: SMH that God hasn't lobbed a Texas-sized asteroid at us yet at April 27, 2022 10:01 PM (00enZ)

485 There's an ONT

Posted by: JT at April 27, 2022 10:01 PM (arJlL)

486 NOOD, ONT

Posted by: Ann Wilson, aka Empire 1 at April 27, 2022 10:01 PM (y0zVi)

487 473 Works better in Austrian.

Posted by: Miklos von und zu Miklostein at April 27, 2022 09:56 PM (dr+j+)

Reminds of one I saw:
I asked my German friend if he knew what the square root of 81 is. He said no.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 27, 2022 10:02 PM (ynpvh)

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