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Quick Hits

Feed, little one.

FEED.

eatlittlefox.jpg

Gee I hope it's not carrying a mutant form of rabies. Because that would be so sad.

foxstatememnt.jpg


donuts.jpg

Glazed chocolate cake, meh. It's okay.

What are your favorite donuts?


We will exclude, for the nonce, the non-donut Associated Pastries such as coffee cakes, kruellers, and bearclaws, which are obviously the best donuts even though they're not donuts. (See end of post for more on this science.)

My top three donuts may well shock you -- it's unconventional to the point of scandalousness.

3. Glazed (okay that's not super-controversial)

2. Vanilla frosted

1. Strawberry frosted

Of course I like the chocolate frosted and the double-chocolate and all that.

I don't like all the swirl types. Pick a frosting and stick with it, I say. Swirled and blended frostings are for indecisive, frightened people without any heart.

But I really like the vanilla and strawberry frosted Duncan Donuts. I think I maybe have a memory of being a young child and only encountering these rara avis donuts after years of thinking that glazed and chocolate-frosted were as sexy as donuts got, and then being amazed: they come in other flavors?!!

Meanwhile, Jonah Goldberg and David French have something to tweet about for hours today: "The Science (TM)" has answered whether a hot dog is a sandwich.

Now Madelyn Leembruggen and Caroline Martin at Harvard University in Cambridge say they have solved this question thanks to an approach based on the statistical physics of phase transitions. "To remove any of the reader's lingering uncertainty: yes, a hotdog is a sandwich," they conclude.

At the heart of their work is the classification of food in three categories or phases: soup, salad and sandwich. They then explore the transitions from one phase to another to construct a complete phase diagram. "We fully map out the phase space of the soup-salad-sandwich (Triple S) transitions," say the researchers.

...

[T]he sandwich axis of this space depends on the existence of a carbohydrate enclosure. The extent of this enclosure can vary dramatically from cheese on toast, to cheese sandwich to cheese calzone.

Except by their analysis: Sushi is also a sandwich, as the fish is also enclosed by carboyhdrate.

Screenshot (1947).png

The left illustrations show the geometric configurations of carbohydrate enclosure, beginning with "enclosed" only on one side (an open-faced sandwich) to completely enclosed (a calzone).

Obviously this study will only generate further controversy.

A calzone is not a sandwich.

There was a court case a few years ago over the question of whether or not a burrito is a sandwich. A sandwich shop had a lease at a mall that said the mall could not allow another sandwich shop. They allowed a Mexican restaurant and the shop sued claiming that a burrito is a sandwich. The judge ruled that it is not because it is a piece of bread rolled up whereas a sandwich is something placed between two pieces of bread.

Posted by: Mark1971

One funny hot-dog related controversy happened on the Boyscast. I don't really think the "Is Hot Dog sandwich?" question is funny because it's mostly non-funny people, like Jonah Goldberg, trying to be funny. And failing, fattishly.

But the Ryan Long hotdog argument is real. Explaining the recipe for his "favorite food," which is a totally ghetto third-grader food called "the cheese dream," Ryan Long repeatedly called a hotdog "a wiener." Not trying to be funny; it's just what he calls it.

When people laughed at him for this, and told him "Just call it a hot dog!," Long responded, huffily: "In my mind, a hotdog includes the bun."

The funny thing is that he wasn't trying to be funny. He's putting his foot down on word usage, and insisting that a hotdog consists of a wiener plus a bun, and if you're just talking about the wiener, that's not a hotdog.

That's the lexical hill he's going to die on.


Matt Orfea:



Science: The Best Donuts Are Actually Non-Donuts

When people say "I'd like a donut," #Science indicates that Actually, they don't want a donut at all. They say donut, but they really mean a pastry from the paradonut family.


Exhibit A: The Coffee Roll

Phasers on Star Trek have three settings: Stun, Kill, and Coffee Roll.

coffeeroll.jpg

Exhibit B: The Eclair.

From the French for "lightning," the eclair was invented by a psychiatrist as a delicious alternative to electroshock therapy for schizophrenics. Because when you're eating an eclair, you can't deny the marvelous cream-filled reality you're actually present in.

eclair.jpg

Exhibit C: The Cheese Danish

Cheese Danishes have a mix of flavors and textures that make them, in scientific terms, "a gang-bang for your face."

CheeseDanish.jpg

Exhibit D: The Bear Claw.

The bear claw is the ugly, bewarted King Pimp of the pastry shop window, with a dozen smaller, more effeminate donuts it's turned into its sad little bitches and tricks following behind it.

bearclaw.JPG

Exhibit E: The Apple Fritter.

The so-called "Emperor of Pastries" makes your stupid little glazed donut look sad and weak like Barack Obama's gay arms.

applefritter

Exhibit F: The Cinnamon Bun.

Cinnamon Buns have been proven to be responsible for America's obesity epidemic and diabetic crisis, and also totally worth it.

cinnamonbun.jpg


Bonus: Worst Donuts.

1. Jelly Donuts.

Jelly donuts are always what's left after people eat the real donuts.

Jelly donuts are consolation prizes for losers who came late.

They taste like failure for a reason. If you're eating a jelly donut, that's because you're not a competitor and you don't have any friends to set aside a good donut for you.

2. Plain Donuts.

Plain donuts are also called "not donuts" or "ring-shaped bread."

Plain donuts were invented for parents who don't love their children. They are also sometimes put out as bait for poisoning rats, though they have a 75% failure rate. Rats don't like them either. Sometimes a poisoned plain donut will be found intact, with a dead rat next to it -- rats will lick the poison off the plain donut while avoiding the plain donut itself.

According to Leviticus, you are supposed to pay the dowry of an ugly woman in plain donuts.

3. Powdered Sugar Donuts.

Powdered sugar donuts are made primarily by mental degenerates employed by donut shops as charity hires. They are sometimes called "Retard Donuts."

To compare powdered sugar donuts to the Holocaust would be to trivialize the horror of powdered sugar donuts.

Posted by: Ace at 04:20 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 st

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 05, 2022 03:20 PM (ppBhU)

2 not sponge

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:21 PM (LvTSG)

3 An Anti-GAINS thread?

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 05, 2022 03:21 PM (z5Vrg)

4 If a fox attacked Nazi Pelosi it would die of a foul disease.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:21 PM (l+PkC)

5 Feed, little one.

FEED.
___

LOL!

Posted by: SMH at God's grace at April 05, 2022 03:21 PM (Mp1ug)

6 So, Ace is not living the keto lifestyle.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (LvTSG)

7 My favorite creme filled pastry is the lovely Ms Jessica after Paulo comes by.

Love you honey!

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (ESjRY)

8 The fox was quoted as saying: "Ring-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!"

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (V6f9+)

9 Damn... Now I want a donut

Posted by: It's me donna at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (J8ILO)

10 8 The fox was quoted as saying: "Ring-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!"
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (V6f9+)

========

That's funny. I heard:
"Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (LvTSG)

11 Jelly donuts also somehow manage to go stale at least twice as fast as any other donut. Plain donuts are an abomination and shouldn't be allowed in polite company.

Posted by: Octochicken at April 05, 2022 03:23 PM (oCS0o)

12 What are your favorite donuts?

Chocolate on top; custard filled.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 05, 2022 03:23 PM (ppBhU)

13 Maple glazed apple fritter.

Posted by: 496 at April 05, 2022 03:23 PM (VJsqe)

14 Anyway, donuts: Plain cake, with choc frosting or sugar is fine.

I can't eat the super sweet stuff no more. Because I am an old.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:23 PM (V6f9+)

15 the GOP are mad because I wont bite them

Posted by: AOC at April 05, 2022 03:23 PM (us2H3)

16 Something about the fox warning amuses me.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:23 PM (l+PkC)

17 Glazed
Chocolate dipped with sprinkles
Powdered donut holes.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (wmDcS)

18 The whole last section of this post is extremely triggering to me.

You will have my powdered donuts when you pry them from my diabetic dead hands.

Posted by: Dr. T at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (bhRsz)

19 What are your favorite donuts?

Maple bar, chocolate old fashioned

Posted by: It's me donna at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (J8ILO)

20 I love the glazed chocolate donut. The donut itself is chocolate, with a glaze on it. I also love the maple glazed but they don't have those any more.

Posted by: JuJuBee at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (kUyAG)

21 Maple bars. I can't find them where I live now. Sad.

Posted by: Quirky bookworm at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (EbJ6H)

22 I'll lick your donut!

Posted by: Ariana Grande at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (ESjRY)

23 >>Jelly donuts also somehow manage to go stale at least twice as fast as any other donut

true. I think it's because the dough is thin at top and bottom. Less moisture to dry out before getting crunchy.

Though this donut is so uninspired I think a little crunchiness improves it, if i'm being honest.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (0G13K)

24 "2. Plain Donuts.

Plain donuts are also called "not donuts" or "ring-shaped bread."

Plain donuts were invented for parents who don't love their children. They are also sometimes put out as bait for poisoning rats, though they have a 75% failure rate. Rats don't like them either. Sometimes a poisoned plain donut will be found intact, with a dead rat next to it -- rats will lick the poison off the plain donut while avoiding the plain donut itself.

According to Leviticus, you are supposed to pay the dowry of an ugly woman in plain donuts."

Really laying down the Biblical knowledge for the heathens here.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (z5Vrg)

25 Krispy Kreme raspberry filled glazed, and the custard filled chocolate glazed.

Also Lamar's donuts. I love their cake donuts.

But, I will have a donut maybe twice a year. I don't really have a sweet tooth. I have a beer and bourbon tooth.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (xPJvm)

26 When it comes to donuts, the top of the list is Boston Creme. Then there are various other real donuts, with the glazed donut taking the crown. Then there are cake donuts, who's existence confuses and enrages me.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (DU+/6)

27 I also like making beignets.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (wmDcS)

28 You leave Comley Trucking, and every other item on this planet that belongs to my Uncle Junior, including his hemorrhoid donut, the f alone!

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (vuisn)

29 There is no Exhibit D.

*shifty eyes*

*BURP*

Posted by: Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (PiwSw)

30 I gained ten pounds just reading this post.

Posted by: Hawkpilot at April 05, 2022 03:25 PM (rYtcl)

31 Also, Greg Kelly should maybe leave earlier so he gets to DD before the run out, if it's that important to him. I can't imagine the "do you know how much I spend here, you peasant" play works all that well.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:25 PM (DU+/6)

32 Glazed, Vanilla with sprinkles, cinnamon buns, beignets, all good.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 05, 2022 03:25 PM (z5Vrg)

33
Cake doughnut, followed by cake doughnut covered with cinnamon sugar.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 05, 2022 03:25 PM (pNxlR)

34 >>> I love the glazed chocolate donut. The donut itself is chocolate, with a glaze on it.

I think this is a Krispy Kreme thing, right?

Eh, I think it mixes two classics and winds up being a bit less than either.

I'm big on my No Donut Miscegenation rule.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:25 PM (0G13K)

35 Dognuts are OK, but apple fritters are heaven.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 05, 2022 03:25 PM (QSjkU)

36 Cake donuts are awful. Gotta be yeast donuts.

Posted by: JuJuBee at April 05, 2022 03:25 PM (kUyAG)

37 Rabies?

Posted by: CN The First at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (ONvIw)

38 How about some love for glazed old-fashioned?

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (a/cEo)

39 4 If a fox attacked Nazi Pelosi it would die of a foul disease.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:21 PM (l+PkC)

-----
It'll get Chronic Wasting Disease - like anything the states send to DC.

Posted by: 496 at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (VJsqe)

40 Apple Fritter for the win, otherwise just a simple glazed will do.

Posted by: Javems at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (Y7uha)

41 I love the smell of donuts.

And my donuts, I mean preteen girls.

They taste pretty good too

Posted by: President Biden at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (ESjRY)

42 Beignets

They do have powdered sugar on them, but

Beignets

Posted by: Miklos at the Cafe du Monde at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (QzkSJ)

43 That's funny. I heard:
"Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (LvTSG)

That IS funny....and not at all an earworm.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (V6f9+)

44 >>>When it comes to donuts, the top of the list is Boston Creme.

you know who loves Boston Creme donuts?

the gays

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (0G13K)

45 I also like making beignets.
___

Now I'm gonna have to make some.

Posted by: SMH at God's grace at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (Mp1ug)

46 >Maple bars. I can't find them where I live now. Sad.
Posted by: Quirky bookworm at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (EbJ6H)


What a strange land you reside in.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (a/cEo)

47 Judging by that geometric configuration diagram, a hotdog should be classified as a "taco."

The things you learn on this blog...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (YIVH2)

48 Cheese danish hot covered in real cow butter.

Posted by: Eromero at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (AD5lp)

49
See, Capitol scumbags?

Jimmy Carter killed that fox's rabbit, and now you're all paying the price. Foxes never forget.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (SKVme)

50 I also like making beignets.
Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 05, 2022 03:24 PM (wmDcS)


Oh God. Beignets.

I love them so, and they so don't love me back.

Posted by: Dr. T at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (bhRsz)

51 Never been to Duck Donuts but I hear they're good. Key lime, maple bacon, etc.

Posted by: JuJuBee at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (kUyAG)

52 42 Beignets

They do have powdered sugar on them, but

Beignets
Posted by: Miklos at the Cafe du Monde at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (QzkSJ)

It's the good powdered sugar.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (z5Vrg)

53 I'm sure there's a foxy lady out there who doesn't care for congress critters.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (l+PkC)

54 Krispy Kreme glazed, when warm, is crack in food form.

DAMN tasty. Yet lower in calories than many donuts. It's sorcery.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (V6f9+)

55 you know who loves Boston Creme donuts?

the gays


That reminds me have to drop by Boston again for some creamery goodness with the guys again.

Posted by: Barack Obama at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (ESjRY)

56 I love Shipley's glazed donuts.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (J071t)

57 I'm big on my No Donut Miscegenation rule.
Posted by: ace

No holes in that rule?

Posted by: Miklos is tolerant and diverse re:donuts at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (QzkSJ)

58 Dunkin' Donuts was an OK place when they were a New England chain and each franchise made its own donuts. Now most get their donuts from a central warehouse. Also, they're embarrassed at being known as a donut shop (hence the change of name to 'Dunkin'), and have branched out into all sorts of iffy breakfast sandwich-type nonsense.

I'll take a donut from the local Heav'nly Donut chain here, thank you. And, in order:
1. Glazed.
2. Plain cruller.
3. Blueberry-filled.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (2JVJo)

59 Having been a 80s O'Henry's Donuts veteran you're missing the most important Donut distinction upon which all the following Donut steps are based. Cake or raised. You can put glaze on either but end up with entirely different Donuts.

Posted by: Fisht at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (g5ddn)

60 44 >>>When it comes to donuts, the top of the list is Boston Creme.

you know who loves Boston Creme donuts?

the gays
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (0G13K)

=======

Did garrett tell you?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (LvTSG)

61 Eclairs kick ass, and my favorite donut (the Boston Creme) is perhaps more like an eclair than a traditional donut. I may need to reformulate my list, as it is unclear whether a paradonut can rightly appear on the list.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (DU+/6)

62 Beef Wellington is a sandwich?

Bullshit!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (A3700)

63 Been well over a year since I set foot in a donut place. Don't really miss it because there isn't a single place outside of the Chinese donut shop in Georgetown Kentucky that can do a decent plain cake donut.

Posted by: Mister Scott (formerly GWS) at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (bVYXr)

64 Apple fritters were one of my breakfast staples growing up.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (4NlP1)

65 I'm sure there must be some reason ace did a donut thread. Maybe he broke his fast by pigging out and wants to get everyone else to join in and assuage his guilt?

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (z5Vrg)

66 I just don't like donuts, or most pastries at all. From very young I would prefer veggies over candy or cookies. I do like sweet stuff sometimes, just not very much. I don't even like chocolate that much.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (KZzsI)

67 I have a problem with the fox story. They are extremely skittish and deathly afraid of humans. I suspect disease.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (QSjkU)

68 "Cheese Danishes have a mix of flavors and textures that make them, in scientific terms, "a gang-bang for your face.""

I don't like these but this made me laugh.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (V6f9+)

69 Jimmies are for fags.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (pNhkh)

70 Judging by that geometric configuration diagram, a hotdog should be classified as a "taco."


The Lovely Ms Jessica says I can't have any tacos. And stupid Paulo says I can't have any sausage.

At least sandwiches will always be there for me.

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (ESjRY)

71 Did you know Joe Biden invented the donut?

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (l+PkC)

72 I quit eating creme-filled donuts after this guy in college, Johnny the Hand, admitted "tampering" with them while working in the back.

He also admitted to violating those big carcasses of fake beef they ship in to Arby's to slice up.
Horsey sauce, indeed.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (vuisn)

73 Greetings:

Eclairs - custard or whipped cream ???

Posted by: 11B40 at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (uuklp)

74 Krispy Kreme glazed are also very good. I call them cinnamon rolls, buns are for hot dogs.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (J071t)

75 I do like a chocolate glazed donut...

Ace is right about the jelly donut. Why does anyone ever buy them? They are always, always the last one eaten, at least in my experience.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (YIVH2)

76 best donut is a Krueller, but since that's outlawed, i'm going with vanilla frosted blueberry followed by boston creme then long johns.

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (otjel)

77 A donut has to be fried. The other things are failed loaves of bread.

I am not a fan of crispy creme. At all. Don't tell me I need them hot - I've had them that way. Too much damned glaze. I've got a little donut shop that has awesome donuts with just the right amount of glaze, and they're crispy on the outside. Their apple krullers are amazing. Chocolate donut would be my other choice - not big on maple. As an added bonus, the donut shop has fantastic burgers - much better than In-N-Out, and crinkle cut fries. Now I'm hungry.

Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (wAnMi)

78 you know who loves Boston Creme donuts?

the gays
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (0G13K)
++++
Between me and garrett, I guess we're gonna flip the whole damn blog...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (DU+/6)

79 Beef Wellington is a sandwich?

by that calculation up top, its more like a calzone. Fully encased.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (KZzsI)

80 67 I have a problem with the fox story. They are extremely skittish and deathly afraid of humans. I suspect disease.
Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (QSjkU)

How is that a problem? Isn't that more of an unsought blessing?

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (z5Vrg)

81 My breakfast from 3rd grade to 6th grade was a half pint of chocolate milk and a glazed donut from Donut King located on my walk to school.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (oMmSx)

82 See, this is the kind of cruel and eccentric posts that keep me coming back.

Posted by: VDH at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (pCXlW)

83 Cinnamon Buns have been proven to be responsible for America's obesity epidemic and diabetic crisis, and also totally worth it.


Yes. Yes they are.

Posted by: Puddleglum at April 05, 2022 03:29 PM (sAmhv)

84 Well then I'm gayer than Liberace, Ace, because Boston creams are fucking delightful.

My favorite apple fritters in the world are the apple uglies from the Orange Blossom Bakery in Buxton, NC. Always a staple of our Outer Banks vacations. If you're ever on Hatteras Island, they're definitely worth a visit.

Posted by: radar at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (aCYZU)

85 Snarky Ace is the best Ace! (Note the capitalization!)

My DH and I used to call Sunday night "Donut Day eve" because our apartment complex would had out donuts in the morning. There was a line to get your donuts and there was a limit of 2 per person (monitored by the Dragon Lady). So he would take 2 and I would take 1 so he could have 3.

(And despite this indulgence he was never overweight.)

Posted by: Iris at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (DibdT)

86 Ever have a cake made out of donuts? Just pile up the birthday pyrsyn's favorite flavors in a circle. Fill the middle with munchkins aka donut holes.

Posted by: JuJuBee at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (kUyAG)

87 The maple bacon bar may be the actual King of Donuts.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (a/cEo)

88 hiya

Posted by: JT at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (arJlL)

89 The fox was quoted as saying: "Ring-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding- dingeringeding!"
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (V6f9+)
========
That's funny. I heard:
"Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:22 PM (LvTSG)

I thought it was "BLITZKREIG!!!!"
#Rommel

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (otjel)

90 By the way, in case you still have Covid Karens in your life or people still lighting up Fauci votive candles...

https://tinyurl.com/4yv3tmmh

Top 10 Fauci lies and misinformation

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (KZzsI)

91 >>>I am not a fan of crispy creme. At all. Don't tell me I need them hot - I've had them that way. Too much damned glaze.

agreed, i think they're too sweet. I like Dunkin' Donuts.

You need to taste the salt. Dunkin Donuts (or "The D," as I call it) is sweet but the sweet isn't so strong that you don't taste the saltiness too.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (0G13K)

92 There was a Southern Maid doughnut place in Dallas near my dad house

you could watch them make the doughnuts right there on site

their hot glazed doughnuts were pretty hard to beat

Dunkins etal don't come close

Posted by: REDACTED at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (us2H3)

93 There are no cinnamon rolls like my mothers.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (l+PkC)

94 Don't really like the sugary stuff much anymore, except for once in a very long while, but I do recall the first time eating an apple fritter, and immediately sobbing about how much time I had wasted on inferior donuts, those dull pale imitations, before that. Why had no one told me!? Why?

Posted by: spindrift at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (h5TKJ)

95 >>>87 The maple bacon bar may be the actual King of Donuts.


i don't know that one, or beignets.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (0G13K)

96 I surprised this donut discussion wasn't guest blogged by Jonah.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (4NlP1)

97 51 Never been to Duck Donuts but I hear they're good. Key lime, maple bacon, etc.
Posted by: JuJuBee at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (kUyAG)

My youngest was in the Outer Banks for spring break so of course had to go to Duck and get Duck Donuts. (She also had to go down to Biscuits n' Pron just to get the t-shirt.)

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (906pl)

98 So according to the Great Sandwich Study, we can conclude that:
- A hot dog is a taco
- Sushi is its own category, which seems entirely unreasonable
- A "hand roll" type of sushi is actually a conical bread bowl

This should keep the cucks busy for a long time.

Also, I was in a crappy restaurant a couple of towns over recently, and they had hot dogs listed on their sandwich menu. If I had twitter, I'd tweet it to the cucks and see if they took it seriously.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (DU+/6)

99 Jelly doughnuts FTW.

Posted by: PVT Leonard Lawrence at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (DTX3h)

100 Sous vide is a sandwich. Fight me.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (a/cEo)

101 4 If a fox attacked Nazi Pelosi it would die of a foul disease.
Posted by: N.L. Urker



And whatever creature that lives in Maxine Waters hair would protect her. I suspect Shelob.

Posted by: Puddleglum at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (sAmhv)

102 68 "Cheese Danishes have a mix of flavors and textures that make them, in scientific terms, "a gang-bang for your face.""

I don't like these but this made me laugh.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM (V6f9+)

^^My thoughts exactly.

Posted by: Iris at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (DibdT)

103 I have actually made Nepoleons twice. Takes all friggin' day, nice but not worth the effort.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (QSjkU)

104 I do kinda like cream puffs and cake donuts aren't terrible. crepes with lemon and powdered sugar on them are pretty good.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (KZzsI)

105 We will exclude, for the nonce, the non-donut Associated Pastries such as coffee cakes, kruellers, and bearclaws, which are obviously the best donuts even though they're not donuts. (See end of post for more on this science.)

I see the humble Fritter escaped your exclusions, Ace.

Therefore, The Apple Fritter is the best, nay, The Grand Imperial Champion of All Donuthood Throughout the Known and Unknown Universe.

Any other pretenders to the throne are merely the Lia Thomases of Little \Powdered Donuts and not to be considered.

Posted by: naturalfake at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (LV9Tl)

106 by that calculation up top, its more like a calzone. Fully encased.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

This is, how you say, quite natural

Posted by: the Paolo at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (QzkSJ)

107 >>>Don't really like the sugary stuff much anymore, except for once in a very long while, but I do recall the first time eating an apple fritter, and immediately sobbing about how much time I had wasted on inferior donuts, those dull pale imitations, before that. Why had no one told me!? Why?

it's like a pastry form of Alexandria Daddadio

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (0G13K)

108 Dunkin' Donuts have not been the same since they stopped making them in store

Posted by: steevy at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (CYnTg)

109 What are your favorite donuts?
.......

The ones that Ariana Grande didn't lick.

Posted by: wth at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (v0R5T)

110 Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"

Jimmy Durante ovah here

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (vuisn)

111 Donuts ?? We're wasting time on donuts? All right. . . . . . . puppies, donuts and little girls make the world go round. . . . . . BTW: chocolate cake + chocolate frosting + sprinkles = superior. Blueberry fritters 2nd. Maple Persians 3rd.

Posted by: The Benevolent Society (should put you out of your misery) at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (5DfsO)

112 I have a problem with the fox story. They are extremely skittish and deathly afraid of humans. I suspect disease.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 05, 2022 03:28 PM


I suspect that members of Congress are walking way too close to the foxes birthing dens filled with kits and the mom foxes are just being moms.

Posted by: Mister Scott (formerly GWS) at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (bVYXr)

113 Not Ace's fault, but this only serves to remind me it sucks to get old. Used to love these things but the older I get the less and less I can tolerate sugar. Even the thought of eating one now turns my stomach. Gads I miss being young and being able to eat or drink anything.

Posted by: moon_over_vermont at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (diHU5)

114 1. Strawberry frosted

Ok, Kaboomer.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (p6Md5)

115 The chocolate donut is a Dunkin' Donuts thing. Also Billy Blake's on Long Island when I was a toddler.

Posted by: JuJuBee at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (kUyAG)

116 Three glazed and three chocolate glazed donuts from Krispy Kreme for the win.

More coffee.

Posted by: dantesed at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (193FS)

117 Dunkin makes a good donut. Almost every city has a local donut shop or two, and they are often much better. Dunkin first while you find the *real* place.

If you're in Denver, that place is LaMar's.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (DU+/6)

118 agreed, i think they're too sweet. I like Dunkin' Donuts.

You need to taste the salt. Dunkin Donuts (or "The D," as I call it) is sweet but the sweet isn't so strong that you don't taste the saltiness too.
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (0G13K)


So, you're going on record that you love the D?

Posted by: Dr. T at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (bhRsz)

119 I don't even know what a crepe is.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (l+PkC)

120 "Possible Fox Dens On Capitol Grounds"

Damn you Rupert Murdoch!

Posted by: Joe Biden at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (AiZBA)

121 A bow-tie, which is a larger twist donut. Bow-ties are what glazed ring donuts want to be when they grow up. If I can't find a twist donut, then a blueberry fritter is the consolation prize.

Posted by: mrp at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (6eRlp)

122 Used to get a Boston creme filled donut from DD that was covered in powdered sugar, not chocolate glazed.

Can't find them anywhere.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (O3vFu)

123 >>>So, you're going on record that you love the D?


right but I was calling Duncan "The D" before it became slang for My Dick.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (0G13K)

124 Almond croissant. A classier bearclaw.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (xmdHj)

125 Also a family favorite is the Italian Bakery donuts from Auburn Maine.

We like the buttercrunch, coconut and chocolate glazed. They are cake donuts with toppings. Not a fan of yeast donuts.

Posted by: Iris at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (DibdT)

126 Beignets are never quite the same after a rainy post-bender Sunday morning at Cafe Du Monde though.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (4NlP1)

127 pigs in a blanket is sushi? I think this requires more refinement

Posted by: Kindltot at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (xhaym)

128 Beignets are great but you have to eat them hot out of the fryer. They do not keep at ALL.

Posted by: radar at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (aCYZU)

129 I don't even know what a crepe is.

Kind of like really thin pancakes you roll up and put stuff on to eat. Its a French thing

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (KZzsI)

130 I have a problem with the fox story. They are extremely skittish and deathly afraid of humans. I suspect disease.

Meh. Not really. After 9-11, we had to pull guard duty outside the airport for a year or so. Didn't take too long for bored soldiers handing out free food to turn into foxes literally eating out of your hand.

Posted by: Hawkpilot at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (rYtcl)

131 "Glazed chocolate cake, meh. It's okay.

What are your favorite donuts?"

I'm sorry, but I can't any "donut" shop seriously if they don't have bear claws on display. Still, that photo looks like a nice, light snack for afternoon tea before a late dinner.

Posted by: LTC Vindman, Ukrainian Chairborn Ranger at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (JCZqz)

132 >>>Feed, little one.

>>>FEED.

LMAO

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (SH2Zi)

133 pigs in a blanket is sushi? I think this requires more refinement
Posted by: Kindltot at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (xhaym)
++++
They are absolutely sushi according to the new Gold Standard of Sandwichness.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (DU+/6)

134 Is Ace's Vespa strawberry frosting colored too?

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (4NlP1)

135 A lot of donut shops in Texas sell Kolaches. The meaty kind.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (oMmSx)

136 "Cheese Danishes have a mix of flavors and textures that make them, in scientific terms, "a gang-bang for your face.""

I don't like these but this made me laugh.


I didn't know it was possible to not like cheese danishes. Sounds like a medical problem or possibly a disability.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (ppBhU)

137 I like just a nice glazed donut. I'm a simple girl I guess.

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (nxdel)

138 Sour cream
Blueberry
Fried cake

Posted by: Art Deco at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (1BrBu)

139 >>.Used to get a Boston creme filled donut from DD that was covered in powdered sugar,

oh I remember that

actually that kind of donut, as far as my memory goes, was not filled with cream like the Boston Cream but a pure-white vanilla concoction. I guess it was a cream but not a slimy cream, more of an airy, puffy cream.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (0G13K)

140 Every Fall ShopRite does apple donuts and pumpkin donuts. They're the cake kind so kind of dry, but the taste is okay.

Posted by: JuJuBee at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (kUyAG)

141 Watching your wife get dad dicked by a real conservative man is a sandwich.

Posted by: ... at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (2neaU)

142 I like old-fashioned donuts. Before I knew the correct term, I called them "exploded donuts" due to their irregular surface. My favorite is chocolate with a chocolate drizzle.

Posted by: Emmie at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (6RgRK)

143 The best donut is the next donut.

Posted by: DaveA at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (FhXTo)

144 What are your favorite donuts?
........

Donettes. I like fooling myself I'm eating healthier because they are small.

Posted by: wth at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (v0R5T)

145 122 Used to get a Boston creme filled donut from DD that was covered in powdered sugar, not chocolate glazed.

Can't find them anywhere.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (O3vFu)


-------

Isn't that just a Bavarian cream?

Posted by: radar at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (aCYZU)

146 Cheese danishes for the win. Close second, chocolate eclair.

Posted by: Cheri at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (oiNtH)

147 So...if you split a sausage and grill it before putting it into the bun, does that change the calculus? Cuz I dig that, even the 5 Guys version of it.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (V6f9+)

148 Glazed chocolate. Mmmmm.

Glazed chocolate cake donuts are tolerable if they're fresh and you have nothing else. If they've been sitting around they are like bricks and I can understand why the rats don't want to eat them either.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (k4dH2)

149 I take my carbs in liquid form. And I that's terrible, bad and no good.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (l+PkC)

150 Where does the noble cream puff figure into the world of donuts?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (YIVH2)

151 107 >>>Don't really like the sugary stuff much anymore, except for once in a very long while, but I do recall the first time eating an apple fritter, and immediately sobbing about how much time I had wasted on inferior donuts, those dull pale imitations, before that. Why had no one told me!? Why?

it's like a pastry form of Alexandria Daddadio
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (0G13K)

========

Fine...Second Daily Daddario:

https://tinyurl.com/2p836xbh

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (LvTSG)

152 there is this bakery in Independence OR called The Ovenbird. I used to go a couple of times a week and get either the almond bearclaw or the marionberry bismarck. The coffee was decent too.

No Dunkin's here, but I do appreciate his legacy as King of the Scots

Posted by: Kindltot at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (xhaym)

153 The best doughnuts are the ones someone else bought and left unattended.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (BFigT)

154 Never been to Duck Donuts but I hear they're good. Key lime, maple bacon, etc.
Posted by: JuJuBee at April 05, 2022 03:27 PM (kUyAG)

TOTALLY worth it.

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (otjel)

155 The best donut is an Apple fritter.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (W2Pud)

156 Slice a hot dog lengthwise, burn it in a frying pan, and put it between two slices of bread. Burnt Weeny Sandwich.

Posted by: fd at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (vrz2I)

157 pigs in a blanket is sushi? I think this requires more refinement

Yeah they need a different category name, like "tube" or something.

Sushis are more a spiral of carbs though, you don't have an encasement like pigs in a blanket.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (KZzsI)

158 Plain cake donut, or lemon-filled.

Posted by: FriscoYoda at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (+56GQ)

159 It's a close tie between maple frosted and the glazed twists. The twists are nice because the inside of the twists is usually gooey. Honorable mention: ANYTHING from Long's Bakery in Indianapolis. Best doughnuts I have ever had in my life.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (HmZuC)

160 My favorite apple fritters in the world are the apple uglies from the Orange Blossom Bakery in Buxton, NC. Always a staple of our Outer Banks vacations. If you're ever on Hatteras Island, they're definitely worth a visit.
Posted by: radar at April 05, 2022 03:30 PM (aCYZU)

radar, you ever eat at Buxton Munch? the blackened fish tacos are to DIE for.

*plans day trip...*

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (otjel)

161 Any bets on how long twitter's current CEO has before he is forced to spend more time with...whatever he spends time with??

Posted by: runner at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (mmOYv)

162 I'm actually fine with supermarket donuts. Others are too sweet to try too hard to be fancy.

I love cheese danishes, but that's partially from my Army days. When you're out in the field and it's freezing cold and you finally get a hot meal of scrambled eggs, bacon, and a cheese danish, it's heaven.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (wmDcS)

163 141 Watching your wife get dad dicked by a real conservative man is a sandwich.
Posted by: ... at April 05, 2022 03:35 PM (2neaU)

Wouldn't said wife have to engage in decadence with two "conservative" dudes at once for this to be considered a "sandwich"?

Posted by: Thrawn at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (Rl7KJ)

164 I was in Fort Smith, stopped at a gas station, and this cop I know was sitting on the bench out front with coffee and not one, but two packs of those Hostess mini donuts. Top it off they were the powdered sugar. Watched him down both packs. Big guy. Not tall, big. Let's his Glock do the running.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (lz5hY)

165
it's like a pastry form of Alexandria Daddadio
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (0G13K)


Truer words were never spoken.

Does that make Alexandria Daddadio the Apple Fritter 0f Beautiful Women?

Posted by: naturalfake at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (LV9Tl)

166 Isn't that just a Bavarian cream?
Posted by: radar


Yes. Still can't find them.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (O3vFu)

167 "Possible Fox Dens On Capitol Grounds"
........

Too bad they're not wolves.

Posted by: wth at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (v0R5T)

168 Apple Fritters ARE the "Emperors of Donuts".

But Jelly Sticks are fucking awesome, Ace.

FUCKING. AWESOME.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (wtvvX)

169 I am more concerned for a fox that might bite one of these creatures and get some horrible deathly disease. The denizens of Capitol Hill are carriers.

Posted by: Cheri at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (oiNtH)

170 The cheese Danish, A gang-bang for your face.
Poetry. Sheer Poetry.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (Gpfnk)

171 I love cinnamon buns and jelly donuts are my favorite

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (2JoB8)

172 142 Unfortunately, the bakery I used to buy old-fashioned chocolate drizzle donuts stopped making them. Because I have no influence in the donut world.

Posted by: Emmie at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (6RgRK)

173 you know who loves Boston Creme donuts?

the gays
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (0G13K)


Well, then that's two things they can talk about when they migrate from Florida to NYC-"Gay" and "Boston Creme Donuts."

I knew a man whose father migrated from some Scandavian country in the late 1800's He knew no English except for "coffee and donut". He travelled around the US and that's all he could say, so that's what he had. Whatever state he ended up in he finally found someone who spoke-let's say Swedish-and knew English and his first response was "Thank the Lord. I was so sick of coffee and donuts!"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (GezNK)

174 >>> It's a close tie between maple frosted and the glazed twists. The twists are nice because the inside of the twists is usually gooey.

yeah glazed twists are good. aren't those just called Kreullers?

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (0G13K)

175 Slice a hot dog lengthwise, burn it in a frying pan, and put it between two slices of bread

Poor folks food. We used to have that for lunch sometimes at home. Its pretty easy to make and cheap

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (KZzsI)

176 >i don't know that one, or beignets.
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (0G13K)

It's just a maple bar with a couple of crispy-fried slices of bacon on the top. Since you like the salt component of a donut to contrast with the sweet, I suspect you'd love it too.

I think (and I could very well be wrong) that it was invented at Voodoo Doughnut in Portland, so forgive its lineage as some kind of hipster shit. It's got nearly a perfect balance of flavors: sweet, savory, and salt.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (a/cEo)

177 Have Ana Navarro and Tater invaded the blog yet?

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (l+PkC)

178 @108: "Dunkin' Donuts have not been the same since they stopped making them in store"

Any doughnut shop that doesn't make their donuts fresh daily and on site is not a real doughnut shop. They might as well put out some hotdogs rollers and call themselves a convenience store instead.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (4NlP1)

179 And I never go to DD, but rarely get donuts if someone else buys.

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (2JoB8)

180 There is only 1 Donut.

The Cinder Mill Donut with Cinnamon.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (4edfc)

181 Supposedly the best donuts are made by Vietnamese people, according to Nick Rekieta. I have not tested this assertion personally.

Posted by: Thrawn at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (Rl7KJ)

182 "The Science (TM)" has answered whether a hot dog is a sandwich."


Maybe we can use Science to answer what is woman?

Posted by: Ripley at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (MxEKc)

183 The best donut (of the list I can eat) is the Voodoo Donuts Vegan Apple Fritter at Universal Orlando. Life-changing, even among the "I can eat dairy set" in this household.

When I could eat DD, my favorite donut there was a chocolate cruller...so, of course, it got discontinued, which is good b/c now I can't be sad that I can't eat it b/c no one can...

Posted by: Nova local at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (exHjb)

184 Ace,

You should have put a picture of Colonel Vindmann instead of the actual picture of a bearclaw. You can still right this error with a proper edit.

Posted by: The GASS at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (OXhw3)

185 I was in Fort Smith, stopped at a gas station, and this cop I know was sitting on the bench out front with coffee and not one, but two packs of those Hostess mini donuts. Top it off they were the powdered sugar. Watched him down both packs. Big guy. Not tall, big. Let's his Glock do the running.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (lz5hY)

I think I bought his Glock. It looks like it was stippled by someone who ate two bags of Hostess donuts at a time.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (V6f9+)

186 >>>But Jelly Sticks are fucking awesome, Ace.


yes those are better than the donut type. I think sometimes they have cinnamon on them

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (0G13K)

187 My favorite is the Coffee Roll at Dunkin Donuts, you have to get their at dawn to get them.

I'll never understand the economics of this, these things probably cost 5 cents a piece to manufacture. Way better to have inventory you throw away instead of not having what people want to buy. Make another 10 Coffee Rolls, you're out a $1 instead of turning away 10 people paying $2-$3 a piece?

Posted by: Blago at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (PwNLq)

188 Dunkin' also makes very good muffins. I had half of a cinnamon one the other day.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (GezNK)

189 Dunkin' Donuts have not been the same since they stopped making them in store
Posted by: steevy at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (CYnTg)


Exactly.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (2JVJo)

190 184 Ace,

You should have put a picture of Colonel Vindmann instead of the actual picture of a bearclaw. You can still right this error with a proper edit.
Posted by: The GASS at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (OXhw3)

+1

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (V6f9+)

191 If you were to put a slice of bacon inside a donut, would that make it a calzone?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (DU+/6)

192 pigs in a blanket is sushi? I think this requires more refinement
Posted by: Kindltot


Only if it were wrapped in the vinegared rice mix. Which it's not. So, no.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (p6Md5)

193 How would we know if Nancy had rabies, anyway?

Posted by: CN The First at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (ONvIw)

194 167 "Possible Fox Dens On Capitol Grounds"
........

Too bad they're not wolverines.
Posted by: wth at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (v0R5T)


Fixed.

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik [DHS Verdict: MDM] at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (DTX3h)

195 RE: worst donuts - kinda like the worst house in the best neighborhood. Sure they are the worst donuts, but because they are donuts, still rank amongst the best foods.

Posted by: unknown at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (wKi1F)

196 And the way I see it ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW GET ON YOUR FACES!

Posted by: Busted Can of Biscuits at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (z8q1g)

197 >>>Ace,

You should have put a picture of Colonel Vindmann instead of the actual picture of a bearclaw. You can still right this error with a proper edit.

...

hah but it would put people off their meals

I'll try to remember his pudgy punch-bag face whenever I have a craving for donuts, to keep keto

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (0G13K)

198 i don't know that one, or beignets.
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:31 PM (0G13K)


Beignets are a New Orleans donut that is square-shaped and doesn't have a lot of sugar. Instead they're fried and then covered by mounds of powdered sugar.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (wmDcS)

199 Slice a hot dog lengthwise, burn it in a frying pan, and put it between two slices of bread

Poor folks food. We used to have that for lunch sometimes at home. Its pretty easy to make and cheap
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (KZzsI)

The first food I learned to cook as a kid. Would be my lunch three or four times a week in the summer. Funny thing is just the other day I was craving one, but I had no hot dogs. Sad.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (xPJvm)

200 I don't even know what a crepe is.

Kind of like really thin pancakes you roll up and put stuff on to eat. Its a French thing
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:34 PM (KZzsI)


Crepes can go overboard with the toppings, but when they're fresh and hot with just cinnamon and sugar....that's the bomb, I'm telling you.

Posted by: Dr. T at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (bhRsz)

201 I'd like to see a fox clamp on an AOC boob.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (l+PkC)

202 Glazed doughnuts > Cake doughnuts
Cake doughnuts are too heavy.

Posted by: Johnny Paycheck at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (LilNs)

203 And yes, some dipshits have made hot dog (weiner) sushi.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (p6Md5)

204 >>>RE: worst donuts - kinda like the worst house in the best neighborhood. Sure they are the worst donuts, but because they are donuts, still rank amongst the best foods.

I dunno, plain cake donuts are crap. Powdered donuts too. And jelly donuts too.

I would just walk right past these donuts and eat lettuce or something.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (0G13K)

205 yeah glazed twists are good. aren't those just called Kreullers?
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:37 PM (0G13K)


Do you mean 'crullers,' Ace? I've never seen them called 'kreullers.'

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (2JVJo)

206 Old Fashioned Donuts in a terrible neighborhood on the South side of Chicago makes unbelievably good apple fritters. The size of hubcaps. Regular or with pecans. Cash only, call ahead with your order. You'll thank me later.

Posted by: Bigsmith at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (RW/Iy)

207 First-world problem:

No Dunkin Donuts OR Krispy Kreme within 100 miles of here.

Posted by: JQ at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (dpnJh)

208 Hilarious.. just simply hilarious. Oh wait.. I was talking about the donut part not the Biden part. The Biden part is just plain fucking sad.

Posted by: Silent at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (CrU4U)

209 Only if it were wrapped in the vinegared rice mix. Which it's not. So, no.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 05, 2022 03:39 PM (p6Md5)
++++
Not according to the Sandwich Scientists. Per that, it is a protein surrounded by a carbohydrate that is open on both ends. A pig in a blanked is sushi.

THE SCIENCE HAS SPOKEN

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (DU+/6)

210
Maple Bar

Apple Fritter, as long as they don't get overzealous with the glaze and include enough apple to actually be an apple fritter. The local shops here tend to screw them up, it's like eating a bowl of sugar cubes with three tiny pieces of apple.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (n+4am)

211 The thing about jelly donuts is that I don't think I've ever seen anyone under 300 pounds eat one. Even children. I've always assumed it was a medical product more than a treat. When the jelly content of your blood gets to low, you eat one of these emergency jelly pills.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (ppBhU)

212 Donut science is fucking epic Ace.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (SH2Zi)

213 So, you're going on record that you love the D?


right but I was calling Duncan "The D" before it became slang for My Dick.
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:33 PM (0G13K)

I thought you were JUST 29?

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (otjel)

214 Boston Cream
Maple Bar
Glazed

Posted by: mikethemoose at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (p+DID)

215 Kolaches are fruit filled.

Klobasnek, aka Klobasnicky are the meat filled treats.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (O3vFu)

216 Dunkin' Donuts have not been the same since they stopped making them in store
Posted by: steevy at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (CYnTg)

Exactly.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing
__

I remember asking them about this, I said these just don't taste the same anymore. They said they switched to a frozen model.

Dominos is another one, I loved their cheap pizza up until about 15 years ago. Others I know did also. It's gross now. They changed their recipe.

Glad the MBA's got to save a few pennies a customer instead of giving people what they wanted that built these brands.

Posted by: Blago at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (PwNLq)

217 Now here is a post I need to read twice.

And Boston Creme is the best.

Posted by: Corona-exile_back_in_exile at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (Ost4W)

218 I don't think there are any Dunkin here either. Last one closed soon after they decided to sell "sandwiches" using split donuts.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (KZzsI)

219 The measure of a good pastry is how much coffee you can pur on top of one.

Old Fashioned Cake Donuts, FTW.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (4edfc)

220 This very busty brunette will share a donut with you:
https://is.gd/JGCsqt

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (DU+/6)

221 I've seen people take plain cake donuts, slice like a bagel, and put a schmear of pimento cheese spread on it. Arkansas, go figure.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (lz5hY)

222 >No Dunkin's here, but I do appreciate his legacy as King of the Scots
Posted by: Kindltot at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (xhaym)

I remember the place that is now Daylight Donuts in Salem used to be a Dunkin. It seems that DD retreated from Oregon a long time ago, so I have no memory of how their donuts are.

I agree that KK is too sweet, and thus overrated. We only got them in western Oregon like 10 years ago and I was underwhelmed. They aren't awful, but far too sugary for my taste. Plus they're mostly air.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (a/cEo)

223 So much for last month's GAINZZZ.

The Amish bakery's apple fritters are < a mile away.

Posted by: DaveA at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (FhXTo)

224 If I liked donuts I'd be stuck with Tim Hortons. And I don't care for Tim Hortons at all.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (l+PkC)

225 as for the donut part.. i don't care.. I can eat them faster than Joy Behar eats juju beans

Posted by: Silent at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (CrU4U)

226 >>>Do you mean 'crullers,' Ace? I've never seen them called 'kreullers.'


I get them from a White Supremacist baker, so.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (0G13K)

227 Morrie, let's get some danish.

https://youtu.be/elrIcMX3yNI?t=45

NSFW

Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (pNhkh)

228 Dunkin Donuts left WA state in 2002.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (V6f9+)

229 The thing about jelly donuts is that I don't think I've ever seen anyone under 300 pounds eat one. Even children. I've always assumed it was a medical product more than a treat. When the jelly content of your blood gets to low, you eat one of these emergency jelly pills.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls


Cop shop staple.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (O3vFu)

230 I was calling Duncan "The D" before it became slang for My Dick.

Duncan? So, what you're really saying is you're cheating on garrett?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (GezNK)

231 What is a hot dog (wiener if you will) wrapped in a slice of bread called then?

Posted by: Javems at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (Y7uha)

232 It doughnut matter to me.
If you really feel like
You need time to be free...

Posted by: Bread at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (n/szn)

233 I just searched for Dunkin Donuts coffee roll to see what they look like. The internet was trying mightily to make me see how much sugar is in one. I definitely do not want to know that.

Posted by: Emmie at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (6RgRK)

234 Glazed are my favorite.


Also Greg Kelly sucks.

Posted by: Ronster at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (949uM)

235 220 This very busty brunette will share a donut with you:
https://is.gd/JGCsqt
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (DU+/6)

Her tits are bigger than her head...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (V6f9+)

236 Low carb diets don't allow doughnuts. That gives me the sads.


20lbs down though.

Posted by: USNtakim deplorable still. at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (0OmEj)

237 Best donut is, in fact, the Apple Strudel. Everything else is like having a Kate Upton sex dream, and waking up to an unshowered Lena Dunham, Trigglypuff flesh knot.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (SH2Zi)

238 KrispyKreme staright up sucks.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (4edfc)

239 234 Glazed are my favorite.


Also Greg Kelly sucks.
Posted by: Ronster at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (949uM)

=======

Grace Kelly did. A lot.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (LvTSG)

240 "Glazed chocolate cake, meh. It's okay.
What are your favorite donuts?"

What's the deal with donuts? Not the food, really, but the word. Sometimes it's spelled "dough" and "nut", where the "dough" part makes sense, but the "nut" doesn't.

Worse is "do" and "nut". "Do" isn't pronounced like "dough". "Do nut" sounds like the go-ahead from a lady-friend, which makes more sense when you start talking about glazed and sticky buns. And we haven't even considered tasting Boston and Bavarian "cream".

Posted by: Perverted Jerry Seinfeld at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (JCZqz)

241 What is a hot dog (wiener if you will) wrapped in a slice of bread called then?

sushi, according to the chart, but I think that's too specific a label.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (KZzsI)

242 Kolaches are fruit filled."



Not in Texas

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (M+Lyo)

243 What is a hot dog (wiener if you will) wrapped in a slice of bread called then?
Posted by: Javems


A ghetto dog. Duh.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (p6Md5)

244 Posted by: Blago at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (PwNLq)

I live in MA near the NH border. There are three chains around me - Dunkin', Heav'nly Donuts and Aroma Joe's.

Joe's is basically a drive-through java shop. Dunkin' ships in their donuts from a warehouse. The Heav'nly near me makes them fresh every day (note: not all their franchises do).

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (2JVJo)

245 Heh

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (gkoWb)

246 We stop by Krispy Kreme sometimes after the trip to the woods. I have been getting cake donuts, usually the sour cream ones. Sometimes I get apple fritters. The dogs enjoy donuts too.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - look forward at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (YynYJ)

247 guy I used to work with had a story about how he worked construction for a big company that had regular management meetings, and one of the big bosses insisted he get a filled donut each meeting saved back because he always showed up late and he was important.

So they ordered a box of donuts and made sure to get one filled donut made that was empty, and filled it full of DAP caulking and saved it for him.
He claimed the boss took a swig of coffe, took a bite of donut, chewed, and then looked at the coffee in his hand with a puzzled look.

Moral of the story, be on time and don't pull rank on guys who build office buildings for you

Posted by: Kindltot at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (xhaym)

248 This very busty brunette will share a donut with you:
https://is.gd/JGCsqt
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (DU+/6)

Her tits are bigger than her head...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (V6f9+)

I would not argue with God.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (SH2Zi)

249
Nice.

I love it when people give me money.

It could only be better if they gave me an Apple Fritter along with the cash they owe me.

Posted by: naturalfake at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (LV9Tl)

250 Oh and let me add one more thing here:

Paczkis are the MOST DISAPPOINTING donuts of all. They taste like a Gdansk loading dock.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (wtvvX)

251 You know who has two thumbs and loves
doughnuts of any kind, make, model ?
This guy!

Posted by: Bob Barr at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (gS/r9)

252 you know who loves Boston Creme donuts?

the gays
Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:26 PM (0G13K)


Don't Say Boston Creme

Posted by: ... at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (2neaU)

253 Rainbow sprinkle white frosting yellow cake
Almond horns
And to my shame, I eat sugar coated jelly donuts with red jam... by preference. I know. Freakish.

Posted by: Gushka can haz kitteh what plays fetch! at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (XPH0Y)

254 What is a hot dog (wiener if you will) wrapped in a slice of bread called then?
Posted by: Javems


Ghetto hot dog. Same as a ghetto burger, ghetto garlic bread, etc. sammich bread wears multiple capes in poorsville.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (O3vFu)

255
Well, that didn't take long:

Capitol Fox
@thecapitolfox
PLEASE SEE MY OFFICIAL STATEMENT BELOW!

Posted by: Citizen Cake at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (HmZuC)

256 What is a hot dog (wiener if you will) wrapped in a slice of bread called then?
Posted by: Javems at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (Y7uha)
++++
If it is totally enclosed, it's a calzone.
If it is wrapped entirely around the hot dog but open on the ends, it's sushi.
If it's wrapped partly around the hot dog with the top exposed, it's a taco.

There's a diagram right up there

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (DU+/6)

257 I like creme filled donuts. I figure that if I'm going to eat sugar'd diabetic doom, don't f'k around, go all in.

Posted by: Puddleglum at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (sAmhv)

258 113 Not Ace's fault, but this only serves to remind me it sucks to get old. Used to love these things but the older I get the less and less I can tolerate sugar. Even the thought of eating one now turns my stomach. Gads I miss being young and being able to eat or drink anything.

Posted by: moon_over_vermont at April 05, 2022 03:32 PM (diHU5)

I'm not that old, but I always say my digestive system is 30 years older than I am...so I feel ya!

Posted by: Nova local at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (exHjb)

259 Old American west had a bunch of different clever names for donuts, like "bear sign" and so on. Bear poo looks kind of donut-like, evidently.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (KZzsI)

260 I've never met a donut I didn't like.

Posted by: Michael Moore at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (vrz2I)

261 And yes, some dipshits have made hot dog (weiner) sushi.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (p6Md5)

wait until you try the hotdog tamales....

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (otjel)

262 >Supposedly the best donuts are made by Vietnamese people, according to Nick Rekieta. I have not tested this assertion personally.
Posted by: Thrawn at April 05, 2022 03:38 PM (Rl7KJ)

There are Japanese and Korean bakeries here in the Portland area that have some really bomb treats. They are pastries, not donuts, both in sweet and savory varieties. The sweet isn't Western-sweet, which I prefer. The savory stuff is delicious too, with toppings like salty ham, cheese, spicy peppers, egg, etc.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (a/cEo)

263 I'll have a Viking Cup from Sluys Bakery in Poulsbo.

Followed by a blueberry fritter from Frank's.

(Instead, I'll get oatmeal, and like it.)

Posted by: Shepherd Lover at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (FOuuw)

264 This very busty brunette will share a donut with you:
https://is.gd/JGCsqt
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:42 PM (DU+/6)

Her tits are bigger than her head...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (V6f9+)

I would not argue with God.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (SH2Zi)

It was more praise and wonder than arguement

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 03:45 PM (V6f9+)

265 Her tits are bigger than her head...

Grandfather Poppins always said, "More than a handful isn't nearly enough."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (2JVJo)

266
And yes, some dipshits have made hot dog (weiner) sushi.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (p6Md5)


Go to Hawaii and have Spam Musubi. Slice of spam, fried with teriyaki sauce, sandwiched in sushi rice with a wrap of Nori to bind it up.

Hawaiian gas station snack food, good stuff.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (n+4am)

267 So I'm the weirdo who likes plain donuts, huh? It needs to be a good cake type donut, not some yeast type.

I eat other kinds of donuts, too, but I'm not really into sweets. BREADS I like, so donuts are the kinds of sweets I prefer, but anything with tons of sugar topping is not my first choice. (e.g. I will eat cake, but I'd prefer pie.)

I do really like apple fritters, though. I guess glaze isn't enough to make me dislike things.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (zjgNU)

268 Welp, I've been in the doctor's office and in a very long meeting all day with no lunch.

I could eat every single one of those donuts. Argh.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (ptqGC)

269 Friend of mine in college once made the boast that he could eat 12 Boston Creme Donuts in a single sitting.

Well. It was about 30 seconds before I had him loaded into the car and $50 on the line.

He made it to 7... before he got violently ill on #8.

Easy money.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (4edfc)

270 Ace's favorite donut: Cruel-lers.

Posted by: Hawkpilot at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (rYtcl)

271 This very busty brunette will share a donut with you:

Is she the younger sister of the woman in the hospital?. Looks like it would be darn uncomfortable on her back. Needs breast reduction. And no, she wouldn't share a donut with me unless I paid $20.00 to her Instagram account.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (GezNK)

272 Original House of Donuts in Lakewood WA. Last time we were there, they had peach donuts.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - look forward at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (YynYJ)

273 Go to Hawaii and have Spam Musubi. Slice of spam, fried with teriyaki sauce, sandwiched in sushi rice with a wrap of Nori to bind it up.

Hawaiian gas station snack food, good stuff.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (n+4am)

My wife and I vacationed in Hawaii for the first time this year. I now make spam musubis twice a month. Amazingly filling.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (zjgNU)

274 We were on a driving trip a number of years ago and stopped at a donut shop in Kentucky or Tennessee and the glazed donuts there were called "glazed yeast rings". Good Lord! That sounds like something you put vagisil on to take care of.

Posted by: ptleahy at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (fGWO5)

275 Fall 2022.

You want a chocolate eclair.

You'll settle for a piece of light bread.

You'll get a spoon of grits.

Gird your loins.

Posted by: golfman @truth banned for calling lebron a whore at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (hOMhY)

276 I have to agree on the horrible powdered sugar donuts! I didn't even like them as a kid, and that's saying something.

On the flip side, my favorites are:

1. Crullers
2. Custard Eclairs
3. Sour Cream donuts

Posted by: Lady in Black at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (sVtYq)

277 I grew up with Dunkin and they are still the best chain including Krispy Kreme but the best donuts are the homemade cinnamon donuts that are made every fall at a local farm. A cup of hot coffee and a couple of those donuts on a crisp fall morning is about as good as it gets.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (ZLI7S)

278 Glazed are my favorite.

Also Greg Kelly sucks.
Posted by: Ronster at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (949uM)

=======

Grace Kelly did. A lot.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:43 PM (LvTSG)


I'm hungry now, so am going to make a hamburger sub. When I get back full-time, remind me to tell you a "Grace Kelly sucks" story.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (2JVJo)

279 When it comes to breakfast desserts, I turn to Frank Zappa:

"There is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of god's grey Earth as that prince of foods... the muffin!"

Posted by: The Central Scrutinizer at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (KbCG3)

280 yeah glazed twists are good. aren't those just called Kreullers?

Twists are made of the same yeast dough as the ring donuts. The difference is that instead of making a ring, the dough is stretched into ropes, and then the ropes are "twisted" with a knot in the middle and the ends are pressed into loops. The twist donut looks like a elongated figure eight.

Posted by: mrp at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (6eRlp)

281 Best donut (or doughnut) is the French cruller.

I mean a well-made one. Not some franchise crap.

Eggy, light, not-overly-sweet.

Like no other doughnut

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah - Reset This (points to amazeballs)! at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (sJHOI)

282 "Paradonuts" is a term that needs to exist.

So, jelly donuts are the Kaboom of the donut world, Ace?

My favorite from childhood is the lemon-filled donut, dusted in powdered sugar. Nowadays I might like a cream-filled (fun to dig your tongue into the hole), or, if I'm feeling paradonutty, an apple fritter.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (Mzdiz)

283 278
I'm hungry now, so am going to make a hamburger sub. When I get back full-time, remind me to tell you a "Grace Kelly sucks" story.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (2JVJo)

========

Heh.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (LvTSG)

284 I would not argue with God.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (SH2Zi)

I doubt God had much to do with those. Thank a plastic surgeon.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (GezNK)

285 Glazed donuts from Long's Bakery in Indianapolis, Indiana. Especially when they are still warm. Ahhhhhhh.

Posted by: Hedley Lamarr at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (+cDgX)

286 Everything after the th fritter is a footnote and not really worth mentioning.

Except for the raised glazed doughnut, which is worthy of mention for its minimalist simplicity, especially when juxtaposed with the fritter.

Posted by: Y5 at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (Ysefz)

287 "272 Original House of Donuts in Lakewood WA. Last time we were there, they had peach donuts.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - look forward at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (YynYJ) "

Now, they only have cars doing donuts.

In intersections.

Posted by: Shepherd Lover at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (FOuuw)

288 3. Sour Cream donuts
Posted by: Lady in Black at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (sVtYq)
++++
What is a sour cream donut? Like, is it filled with sour cream or is there sour cream in the dough, or ...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (DU+/6)

289 269 Friend of mine in college once made the boast that he could eat 12 Boston Creme Donuts in a single sitting.

Well. It was about 30 seconds before I had him loaded into the car and $50 on the line.

He made it to 7... before he got violently ill on #8.

Easy money.

I can eat 50 eggs

Posted by: Busted Can of Biscuits at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (z8q1g)

290 Whelp, I don't like donuts at all (no sweet-tooth whatever) so Imma head across the street to the bagel place for sausage, egg, and cheese on an everything....

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (906pl)

291 I've heard Duck Donuts here is very, very good. My old favorite though is Krispy Kreme. When the Hot and Fresh sign is lit up, it's all I can do to keep from pulling in to the take out window.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (ptqGC)

292 Best donut (or doughnut) is the French cruller.

I mean a well-made one. Not some franchise crap.

Eggy, light, not-overly-sweet.

Like no other doughnut

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah - Reset This (points to amazeballs)! at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (sJHOI)

Yes. They're rarer than hen's teeth. The last one I ate was a heavy, sticky mess.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (Mzdiz)

293 Dunkin Donut shops have been popping up all over the place here. The local donut place is Lamar's. Pretty decent if you get there early.

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (nxdel)

294 Old Fashioned are my fav. They normally have glaze or chocolate. I'm weird. I like the plane. Very hard to find.

Posted by: Infidel at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (ou23q)

295 Her tits are bigger than her head...

Grandfather Poppins always said, "More than a handful isn't nearly enough."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 05, 2022 03:46 PM (2JVJo)

More than a handful leaves room for exploring.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (SH2Zi)

296 >> I grew up with Dunkin and they are still the best chain including Krispy Kreme but the best donuts are the homemade cinnamon donuts that are made every fall at a local farm. A cup of hot coffee and a couple of those donuts on a crisp fall morning is about as good as it gets.


Yep. Cider Mill donuts are the only dout I crave.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (4edfc)

297 Orange Dog Bad !

Posted by: Next2Nothing at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (tA1/w)

298 I kinda like home made fritters but they're usually too dang big.

Every year the local fair has a stand with "elephant ears" whch are basically fried dough with sugar and cinnamon crusted on it. They're big buggers like a foot across, I've never had one but they probably are pretty good.

Mom made these things called pinwheels any time she made pie and had scraps of dough left over. She'd cut them into long strips, dust them with butter, sugar, and cinamon and bake them with the pie. Those were great, about the size of a watch face and tasty.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (KZzsI)

299 Sushis are more a spiral of carbs though, you don't have an encasement like pigs in a blanket.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM (KZzsI)


I think Sushi should be in a different classifications, say, with Tamales and Pupusas

Posted by: Kindltot at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (xhaym)

300 Under a tornado watch here until 9:00. Yay.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (ptqGC)

301 Sorry, Ace, but with no mention of kolaches, your attempt to quantify the Paradonut Universe cannot be taken seriously by any serious student of same.

I'm not being cruel, simply factual.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (a3Q+t)

302 My favorite donut is pretty much anything with maple frosting. Is that not a thing out East?

Posted by: pookysgirl, connoisseur of Midwest, West, and Japan gas stations at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (XKZwp)

303
Paczkis are the MOST DISAPPOINTING donuts of all. They taste like a Gdansk loading dock.
Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 05, 2022 03:44 PM (wtvvX)

The ones made here in the US are...lacking. We had a little cukiernia in our neighborhood that made heavenly paçki, with lemon, apple and pineapple fillings. The rose are not to my taste, and although raspberry is the most popular, is far behind the three aforementioned flavors.

My favorite donut was a simple butter-honey glazed piece of heaven made by a Korean fellow in Crowley Texas. He also made sausage rolls, which are not donuts, but which are very, very tasty.

Posted by: Moki at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (JrN/x)

304 Donuts. Thanks, Ace. My GAINZ are losing 15 pounds and three belt notches since the start March on Keto and you tempt me with sugar and carbs!

Posted by: Chuck C at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (EughT)

305 Adam Carolla had a good bit on how soul-crushing it is as a Dad to see your teen son chowing down on a long, cream-filled churro

Posted by: J. Frank Parnell at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (MCVM5)

306 I love Legendary Doughnuts.

https://bit.ly/3xbtqT0

Their Sex in the City doughnut is great as is their Mud Pie doughnut. I also like their Tinkerbell doughnut.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (eyxn4)

307 Give me access to an apple fritter or give me death

Posted by: Joe Xiden at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (OalnH)

308 Long Johns, which are shaped like eclairs but don't have the snooty pastry cream filling. They have maple glaze, which is awesome.

Posted by: huerfano at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (MzKgG)

309 OK then, sushi or ghetto dog, depending on who I am talking to. Hot dog buns are single task. Don't keep them.

And ending that sentence in a preposition is perfectly acceptable.

Posted by: Javems at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (Y7uha)

310 What is a sour cream donut? Like, is it filled with sour cream or is there sour cream in the dough, or ...

--

Lol, I wasn't sure I got the name right. Maybe it's a cream donut? It's heavy and glazed. No filling.

Posted by: Lady in Black at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (sVtYq)

311 Glazed Eyed Bidenz

Posted by: Marooned at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (w6hJ9)

312 Kolaches are fruit filled."

Not in Texas
Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway

texashillcountry.com/ difference-kolache-klobasnicky/

Yeah. Even in Texas.

Remove the space

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (O3vFu)

313 >>I can eat 50 eggs


Exactly.

Seen it happen with the Donuts, Manicotti, and Meatballs.

Every one of them could have halved their boasts and found takers, too.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (4edfc)

314 This is the best thread ever. EVER!

Posted by: Alexander Vindman, Ukraine Defense Secretary at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (g8KqZ)

315 Sorry, Ace, but with no mention of kolaches, your attempt to quantify the Paradonut Universe cannot be taken seriously by any serious student of same.

I'm not being cruel, simply factual.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (a3Q+t)

West, Texas. Nuff said.

Posted by: Moki at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (JrN/x)

316 If you're in Honolulu go to Leonard's bakery and get hot malasadas. Then get an almond ring or almond horns. Shit... Anything in that bakery is a winner.

Posted by: Gushka can haz kitteh what plays fetch! at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (XPH0Y)

317 "Paradonut" needs to be a mainstream term. It's so absurd.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (DU+/6)

318 I doubt God had much to do with those. Thank a plastic surgeon.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (GezNK)

Look again.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (SH2Zi)

319
I put together a stone hammer this morning; gSon is going all Conan with it now. Model Mark I lasted all of ten minutes. He's working over Model Mark II now. Thankfully, he and his sister will be returning home in five minutes, so it is likely to survive.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (pNxlR)

320 Here in Iowa, most donut places will also sell Dutch letters, often shipped in from traditionally Dutch immigrant towns like Pella. Kind of a flaky layered pastry filled with almond paste. I picked a rather unflattering photo...looks like a severed intestine spilling contents out both ends. Yum!
https://tinyurl.com/3rur398u

Posted by: Military Moron at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (JCZqz)

321 I was so desperate for a donut last week that I made some Bisquik biscuits, punched holes in them with an apple corer, and fried them. Not a KK old fashioned donut but close enough for gov't work.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (nfrXX)

322 >>What is a sour cream donut? Like, is it filled with sour cream or is there sour cream in the dough


In the batter, yes.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (4edfc)

323 Maplesticks (like an eclair), from Bialy's Donuts. About 1lb. each, there is a contest amongst the minimum wage chefs to see how much cream can be loaded in before the whole thing collapses. One is sufficient to cover your daily recommended allowance for calories. Also comes in chocolate frosting, though then that is no longer a maplestick, maybe it's called a longjohn, not sure.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (fs1hN)

324 307 Give me access to an apple fritter or give me death
Posted by: Joe Xiden at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (OalnH)

=======

*shrugs*

*stabs repeatedly*

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (LvTSG)

325 On that chart, Tamales are a bread bowl. Open on one end, enclosed on all others.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (KZzsI)

326 Donuts. Thanks, Ace. My GAINZ are losing 15 pounds and three belt notches since the start March on Keto and you tempt me with sugar and carbs!

Posted by: Chuck C at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (EughT)

You need fat bombs, Chuck. I made some with cream cheese, butter and cocoa last night. mmmm

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (Mzdiz)

327 And Voodoo Donuts are overrated.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - look forward at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (YynYJ)

328 308 Long Johns, which are shaped like eclairs but don't have the snooty pastry cream filling. They have maple glaze, which is awesome.
Posted by: huerfano at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (MzKgG)


Listen to this man.
he knows what's up

Posted by: Busted Can of Biscuits at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (z8q1g)

329 Kolaches are fruit filled.

Klobasnek, aka Klobasnicky are the meat filled treats.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:41 PM (O3vFu

Technically yes but it's been appropriated to include all types. See Shipley's Donuts and Kolache Shoppe.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (oMmSx)

330 Friend of mine in college once made the boast that he could eat 12 Boston Creme Donuts in a single sitting. ...
He made it to 7... before he got violently ill on #8.
Posted by: Busted Can of Biscuits at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM


Your friend was dumb. How long, exactly, is "a single sitting"?

Posted by: Chuck C at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (EughT)

331 Sushi is not a sandwich, it's Bait.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (MhlkV)

332 Maplesticks (like an eclair), from Bialy's Donuts. About 1lb. each, there is a contest amongst the minimum wage chefs to see how much cream can be loaded in before the whole thing collapses. One is sufficient to cover your daily recommended allowance for calories. Also comes in chocolate frosting, though then that is no longer a maplestick, maybe it's called a longjohn, not sure.
Posted by: Chuck Martel at April 05, 2022 03:51 PM (fs1hN)
++++
Is there a difference between a longjohn and an eclair?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (DU+/6)

333 What is a sour cream donut? Like, is it filled with sour cream or is there sour cream in the dough, or ...
Posted by: Joe Mannix


In the mix to make the dough. Leaves the dough moist.

Moist.

Say that word. Repeatedly. Because there's someone you know that hates that word. Moist.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (O3vFu)

334 >>Yep. Cider Mill donuts are the only dout I crave.

The ones at the farm are still warm when you get them. That kind of fresh. And they also have fresh pressed apple cider.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (ZLI7S)

335 I will decide what kind of donut is best only after reading a Twitter debate on the topic between nevertrump blue checks.

Posted by: Joe Xiden at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (OalnH)

336 Say often on early morning threads I go to a just 3 shop donut bakery, if working with guys and stopping get them donuts and no one has said they were not top notch.

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (2JoB8)

337 I prefer a plain cake donut that I dunk in my coffee. That's it. Long gone are the days of glazed or chocolate covered donuts. I admit I do miss the Dunkin Donut munchkins (donut holes) but the last Dunkin Donut left town 15+ years ago.

Posted by: Beartooth at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (+3ARs)

338 Is there a difference between a longjohn and an eclair?
Posted by: Joe Mannix


Longjohns aren't filled??

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (O3vFu)

339 Sushi is not a sandwich, it's Bait.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (MhlkV)
++++
It lures me in.

But if you're fishing for me, you have serious problems and should probably see a therapist to deal with your issues.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (DU+/6)

340 Apple Castle in Wilmington Township in W.PA have some of the best homemade donuts. The other place I will mention is in Boardman, Ohio. A place called The Amish Store. It's in a non-descript strip mall. It's heaven. The first thing you see when you walk in are Amish ladies making homemade donuts. They are the perfect donuts. Donut Valhalla but with the Amish, if you will.

Posted by: Puddleglum at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (sAmhv)

341 West, Texas. Nuff said.

Which is not in West Texas.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (nfrXX)

342 There was a court case a few years ago over the question of whether or not a burrito is a sandwich. A sandwich shop had a lease at a mall that said the mall could not allow another sandwich shop. They allowed a Mexican restaurant and the shop sued claiming that a burrito is a sandwich. The judge ruled that it is not because it is a piece of bread rolled up whereas a sandwich is something placed between two pieces of bread.

Posted by: Mark1971 at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (xPl2J)

343 Longjohns aren't filled??

They were where I grew up.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (ppBhU)

344 339 Sushi is not a sandwich, it's Bait.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (MhlkV)
++++
It lures me in.

But if you're fishing for me, you have serious problems and should probably see a therapist to deal with your issues.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (DU+/6)

Would you say you're a great catch...and release?

Posted by: The Central Scrutinizer at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (KbCG3)

345 I remember when I first heard of maple bacon doughnuts and I figured "Wow!"
Then I had one. VERY overrated.

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (OHFvg)

346 Longjohns aren't filled??
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (O3vFu)
++++
Point.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)

347 Sushi is not a sandwich, it's Bait.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (MhlkV)

Fish on!

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (SH2Zi)

348
Foxes to DC -- Keep 'em Worried!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (PgFwl)

349 Every year the local fair has a stand with "elephant ears" whch are basically fried dough with sugar and cinnamon crusted on it. They're big buggers like a foot across, I've never had one but they probably are pretty good.

Mom made these things called pinwheels any time she made pie and had scraps of dough left over. She'd cut them into long strips, dust them with butter, sugar, and cinamon and bake them with the pie. Those were great, about the size of a watch face and tasty.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:48 PM (KZzsI)

oh man i miss elephant eras. so much better than funnel cake, imo. not that funnel cake is bad, mind you.

and the pinwheels... mom didn't have a name for them, but every ugly peach cobbler left me some of those.

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (otjel)

350 Longjohns aren't filled??

"mine sure are, again. JILLLLL!!!"
--President Joey Fingers

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (KZzsI)

351 And Voodoo Donuts are overrated.

You got that right.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (SchxB)

352 Would you say you're a great catch...and release?
Posted by: The Central Scrutinizer at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (KbCG3)
++++
I'm not so much a catch as I am a burden.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)

353 Longjohns aren't filled??
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM (O3vFu)

"Stand back, Fat!"

- JB

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at April 05, 2022 03:54 PM (906pl)

354 The ones made here in the US are...lacking. We had a little cukiernia in our neighborhood that made heavenly paczki, with lemon, apple and pineapple fillings. The rose are not to my taste, and although raspberry is the most popular, is far behind the three aforementioned flavors.

My favorite donut was a simple butter-honey glazed piece of heaven made by a Korean fellow in Crowley Texas. He also made sausage rolls, which are not donuts, but which are very, very tasty.

Posted by: Moki at April 05, 2022 03:49 PM (JrN/x)

Every paczki I've ever tried around here promises so much and delivers so little. They're hardly sweet at all!!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 05, 2022 03:55 PM (wtvvX)

355 If you need more than one cup of coffee to wash down a donut, we may have a portioning control problem here.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 05, 2022 03:55 PM (pNhkh)

356 If you need more than one cup of coffee to wash down a donut, we may have a portioning control problem here.

We need bigger coffee cups!

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (SchxB)

357 West, Texas. Nuff said.

Which is not in West Texas.
Posted by: Oddbob


Home of the true kolaches and klobasniky.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (O3vFu)

358 1. Glazed Twist
2. Chocolate Cake with Peanuts
3. French

Posted by: BuckIV at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (CLfqv)

359 Is there a difference between a longjohn and an eclair?
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 05, 2022 03:52 PM (DU+/6)
A longjohn is long and rectangular, but doesn't look the eclair in the picture. Despite my nick, I'm not actually French, who, in my stereotype, would be able to recite all sorts of reasons why a longjohn could never be a proper eclair.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (fs1hN)

360 On that chart, Burritos are Calzone.

And they're right. Almost every culture has a hand held meat pie type of food. Pirozhki, Pasties, Burritos, etc. I guess hot pockets are America's version, God help us.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (KZzsI)

361 I kind of feel about donuts the same way Feel feels about the Joe Mannix women.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (l+PkC)

362 West is south of Dallas, which is in north Texas.

Posted by: FriscoYoda at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (+56GQ)

363 Asians have no understandIng of sweet in the American sense

Posted by: Y5 at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (Ysefz)

364 350/353 Horde Mind ACTIVATE.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (906pl)

365 Not a fan of the doughnut.
I like to save my wasted calories for chocolate.

Posted by: Venus at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (YVBLw)

366 Elephant ears are the best things to nibble on! Flaky and delightful.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (Mzdiz)

367 206 Pecans?? That would be a trip.

Posted by: The Benevolent Society (should put you out of your misery) at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (5DfsO)

368 Boston Creme doughnut is the one with a pudding cup inside?

Is tamale a sammich?

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (n/szn)

369 Voodoo Doughnuts may be overrated, but they have a top-notch slogan:

"The Magic is in the Hole"

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (a/cEo)

370 Look again.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 03:50 PM (SH2Zi)

No thanks.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (GezNK)

371 Hipsters ruin everything. To wit:

https://gourdoughs.com/

Posted by: Oddbob at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (nfrXX)

372 >>>fox dens

Waiting to hear how that evil bastard Trump pulled this off.

Posted by: No Name Today at April 05, 2022 03:57 PM (vlXMQ)

373 207 First-world problem:

No Dunkin Donuts OR Krispy Kreme within 100 miles of here.

Posted by: JQ at April 05, 2022 03:40 PM (dpnJh)

You need to join the Sunday thread...

Posted by: Nova local at April 05, 2022 03:57 PM (exHjb)

374

I'll eat a donut if it has peanuts or coconut on it, it is just a little closer to being healthy and not just fried bread with sugar all over it.

You forgot to mention bismarcks, what ever the hell they are. They're good with vanilla creme filling.

And punchkis, that's how I spell it, IDGAF. They are good fresh, but get a case of rot not long after birth.

Posted by: Dr.Rev. Senator Your Highness E Buzz Miller, Esq PhD MA MS at April 05, 2022 03:57 PM (L2F6n)

375 Which is not in West Texas.
Posted by: Oddbob at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM


Unlike me.

Posted by: The Town of El Paso at April 05, 2022 03:57 PM (a3Q+t)

376 Cronuts...or as Hogmartin once called them...Cronu (the T is silent in the French pronunciation).

My wife loves them, although they are actually hard to find.

Cronuts

https://tinyurl.com/2p9c36tu

Posted by: Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet at April 05, 2022 03:57 PM (vcOmj)

377 Longjohns aren't filled??

They were where I grew up.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls


I couldn't remember. I never got them. My dad liked them. A lot.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:57 PM (O3vFu)

378 Gee I hope it's not carrying a mutant form of rabies. Because that would be so sad.

-------

That's a terrible cruel thing to say.

Posted by: ShainS -- They are Child Predators, not Groomers at April 05, 2022 03:57 PM (5b5Yd)

379 Kruller: a variant of cruller

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/kruller

I guess that's just what the local d-shop called them.

Posted by: ace at April 05, 2022 03:57 PM (0G13K)

380 Long johns are what my gramps wore all year.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 03:58 PM (l+PkC)

381 Every paczki I've ever tried around here promises so much and delivers so little. They're hardly sweet at all!!!
Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 05, 2022 03:55 PM (wtvvX)

Every once in a while the local supermarket greets shoppers with an enormous display of creme-filled Paczkis. Four to a box. One box is enough for me.

Posted by: mrp at April 05, 2022 03:58 PM (6eRlp)

382 300/ Jane.. please don't send it this way....

Posted by: Silent at April 05, 2022 03:58 PM (CrU4U)

383 Had a apple fritter couple months ago from Suzi-Jo bakery and took me two days to eat it.

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2022 03:58 PM (2JoB8)

384 You don't really taste the sour cream. It's just a nice light cake donut, not too sweet.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - look forward at April 05, 2022 03:58 PM (YynYJ)

385 Almost all tourist trap foodie places like that are overrated. I remember when on the Oregon coast you could go to Lincoln City where there was this amazing hole in the wall seafood place called Mo's. And damn it was good -- until Mo went big time and got a nice restaurant and... changed all the recipes.

I think I heard that Mo sold out and left town, and someone took over the name. Its too bad too because that was a treasure.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:58 PM (KZzsI)

386 They are hard to find because you have to go to ny

Posted by: Y5 at April 05, 2022 03:59 PM (Ysefz)

387 Elephant ears are the best things to nibble on! Flaky and delightful.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at April 05, 2022 03:56 PM (Mzdiz)

Introduced the grandkids to Elephant ears at the county fair last year. They were hooked and if the line wasn't so long they would have made repeated trips to the stand.

Posted by: Beartooth at April 05, 2022 03:59 PM (+3ARs)

388 West is south of Dallas, which is in north Texas.
Posted by: FriscoYoda

On IH35.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:59 PM (O3vFu)

389 206 Old Fashioned Donuts in a terrible neighborhood on the South side of Chicago makes unbelievably good apple fritters. The size of hubcaps. Regular or with pecans. Cash only, call ahead with your order. You'll thank me later.

Really? My problem with most local Chicago donut purveyors is that they go way too far overboard with the frosting and toppings. Maybe I'll have to give these guys a shot; I do love me a good apple fritter or five.

Posted by: Octochicken at April 05, 2022 03:59 PM (oCS0o)

390 My own definition. To be a sandwich it has to be served cold. Anything that has to be cooked and put on bread or bread product is called what it is without the word sandwich attached to it.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at April 05, 2022 04:00 PM (oMmSx)

391 Did somebody say... "Foxes"!!!

Posted by: The Festtrunk Brothers at April 05, 2022 04:00 PM (OHFvg)

392 No Dunkin's here, but I do appreciate his legacy as King of the Scots
Posted by: Kindltot at April 05, 2022 03:36 PM


No more Duncans here, either.

Posted by: Macbeth at April 05, 2022 04:00 PM (EughT)

393 Every paczki I've ever tried around here promises so much and delivers so little. They're hardly sweet at all!!!
Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 05, 2022 03:55 PM (wtvvX)

I've seen these paczkis in the Krogers in my area and wondered what the hell they were. Guess I should steer clear of them.

Posted by: Thrawn at April 05, 2022 04:00 PM (Rl7KJ)

394 >My own definition. To be a sandwich it has to be served cold. Anything that has to be cooked and put on bread or bread product is called what it is without the word sandwich attached to it.
Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at April 05, 2022 04:00 PM (oMmSx)

How do you classify a grilled cheese, for example?

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (a/cEo)

395 There's a Filipino place across the street. I do like there sweet buns.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (l+PkC)

396 Top donuts:
Apple Fritters
French Crullers with Vanilla icing
Beignets
Glazed with strawberry icing
Bear Claws
Love all donuts, but not a fan of jelly or cream filled ones.

Posted by: redridinghood at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (NpAcC)

397 377 Longjohns aren't filled??

They were where I grew up.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls


I couldn't remember. I never got them. My dad liked them. A lot.

Longjohns - unfilled
Whizbangs - same thing but jelly filled
At least around these parts

Posted by: Busted Can of Biscuits at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (z8q1g)

398 "What are your favorite donuts?"

Free donuts.

Posted by: gp Sets In Motion Various Apparatuses at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (qpX6U)

399 But I like things like open face turkey sandwiches and hot meatball subs, so the cold/hot thing is tough to use.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (KZzsI)

400 Dammit, now I'm getting sucked into amateur food taxonomy!

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (a/cEo)

401 343 Longjohns aren't filled??

They were where I grew up.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 05, 2022 03:53 PM

Any long John can fill ME up!

Posted by: Former President Barky Obammers at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (JCZqz)

402 >My own definition. To be a sandwich it has to be served cold. Anything that has to be cooked and put on bread or bread product is called what it is without the word sandwich attached to it.
Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at




No

Posted by: Y5 at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (Ysefz)

403 There's a Filipino place across the street. I do like there sweet buns.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh.


Sound like some kind of pedo-thing....

Posted by: Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet at April 05, 2022 04:01 PM (vcOmj)

404 Introduced the grandkids to Elephant ears at the county fair last year. They were hooked and if the line wasn't so long they would have made repeated trips to the stand.
Posted by: Beartooth


Mmmmmmm. State Fair food.
Deep fried butter.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 04:02 PM (O3vFu)

405 I remember the story of the rats and the plain donuts! Classic stuff.

I love a good cake donut, preferably chocolate. And a cinnamon bun. On a thread earlier today someone mentioned looking for Hydrox cookies, and Bezos's little hobby site has them: A box of 6 small packages, each with 18 cookies, for $24, and another of 6 with 27 cookies each for $34. This comes out to about $4.50 a package for the small and $4.75 for the larger. This is not much more than a package of Oreos from the grocery-- and the Hydrox people trumpet that they don't have corn syrup or hydrogenated oil. I wanna try 'em.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 05, 2022 04:02 PM (txdEq)

406 Would Rabies even be noticeable in congresscritters?

Posted by: Surfperch at April 05, 2022 04:02 PM (eRVYd)

407 Panacit might be the word I'm looking for.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 04:03 PM (l+PkC)

408 Go to Hawaii and have Spam Musubi. Slice of spam, fried with teriyaki sauce, sandwiched in sushi rice with a wrap of Nori to bind it up.
___

I make that on occasion.

Posted by: SMH at God's grace at April 05, 2022 04:03 PM (Mp1ug)

409
Every paczki I've ever tried around here promises so much and delivers so little. They're hardly sweet at all!!!
Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 05, 2022 03:55 PM (wtvvX)

I forgot to add that the cukiernia was down the street from our house in Warsaw...Poland. The ones made here tend to taste burned to me.

I like the big four pack paçki, but they are huge and not like the Polish ones at all!

Posted by: Moki at April 05, 2022 04:03 PM (JrN/x)

410 "Please do not approach any fox you see." Suppose, though, that she's giving you the eye?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 05, 2022 04:03 PM (txdEq)

411 It's the longjohns wearer who provides the filling.

Posted by: Peter North at April 05, 2022 04:04 PM (a3Q+t)

412 Kristi Noem will sign the banning of CRT in public schools
It's a start
Legalinsurrection.com

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2022 04:04 PM (2JoB8)

413 In Italy I ate a maritozzo, which consists of doughnut/eclair dough but shaped like a hamburger bun, and filled with custard. Delicious. My sister (older) would bring me one when she finished her classes at a different school.

Posted by: Ciampino at April 05, 2022 04:04 PM (qfLjt)

414 Just a tip, when eating a beignets at Cafe du Mond do not inhale with it anywhere close to your nose.

The beignets are fine but the cafe au lait will draw me there.

Posted by: Javems at April 05, 2022 04:04 PM (Y7uha)

415 Not a donut, but the ham and cheese croissant that a lot of donut shops have is tasty.

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at April 05, 2022 04:04 PM (M+Lyo)

416 in the Star Wars universe, its stylish for girls to stick coffee roll to the sides of their head.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 04:04 PM (KZzsI)

417 "Please do not approach any fox you see." Suppose, though, that she's giving you the eye?

...and Chinese?

Posted by: Rep. Eric Swallowell at April 05, 2022 04:04 PM (OHFvg)

418 Every paczki I've ever tried around here promises so much and delivers so little. They're hardly sweet at all!!!
Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 05, 2022 03:55 PM (wtvvX)

I've seen these paczkis in the Krogers in my area and wondered what the hell they were. Guess I should steer clear of them.
Posted by: Thrawn

The only good pacskis are made by Polish women. There's this Polish bakery in Hamtrammck that has some amazing stuff, although they do not sell cronuts. Although unless you live in Greater Detroit, it is probably not worth the trip. The paczkis they sell in Kroger's are ....not good.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet at April 05, 2022 04:05 PM (vcOmj)

419 Here we are dreaming about donuts while inflation and supply-chain issues are causing havoc in places like Peru.

https://tinyurl.com/yzcxz86r

Don't worry Peru, we'll be joining you shortly once the dollar's destruction is complete.

Posted by: Thrawn at April 05, 2022 04:05 PM (Rl7KJ)

420 Go to Hawaii and have Spam Musubi. Slice of spam, fried with teriyaki sauce, sandwiched in sushi rice with a wrap of Nori to bind it up.

That actually sounds pretty good. They eat a LOT of spam in Hawaii.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 04:05 PM (KZzsI)

421 I doubt God had much to do with those. Thank a plastic surgeon.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 03:47 PM (GezNK)
........

Thank God for plastic surgeons?

Posted by: wth at April 05, 2022 04:05 PM (v0R5T)

422 410 "Please do not approach any fox you see." Suppose, though, that she's giving you the eye?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 05, 2022 04:03 PM

And, perhaps, has a fang or two?

Posted by: Rep Eric Swalwell at April 05, 2022 04:05 PM (JCZqz)

423 Bismarck, Boston creme, and the other filled "donuts".

Are they actually calzones, or breadbowls? Does the fill hole count as an open side, or not?

Posted by: mikeski at April 05, 2022 04:05 PM (P1f+c)

424 So plain donuts are the Kaboom cereal of donuts.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at April 05, 2022 04:05 PM (Vxu+H)

425 I like the big four pack [deleted because Pixy code hates it], but they are huge and not like the Polish ones at all!
Posted by: Moki at April 05, 2022 04:03 PM (JrN/x)


Moki, did you insert the funny C ?

Posted by: mrp at April 05, 2022 04:06 PM (6eRlp)

426 I liked dunkin' donuts, which dunkin' donuts no longer makes. I have to settle for "old fashoned". Meh.

Posted by: West at April 05, 2022 04:06 PM (QY+6a)

427 Fox on the Run - Sweet
https://youtu.be/fpfi36dp0wc

Also sexy

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 05, 2022 04:06 PM (V6f9+)

428 Mmmm.. hubby is ordering my birthday dinner from a local mediterranean restaurant. Mouth is already watering!

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 05, 2022 04:06 PM (nxdel)

429 Doughnuts with cream are the gateway to dicksucking

Posted by: Y5 at April 05, 2022 04:07 PM (Ysefz)

430 Mmmm.. hubby is ordering my birthday dinner from a local mediterranean restaurant.

I'll be right over!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 04:07 PM (KZzsI)

431 Just got here and I hope someone said Bismarck's.
Yum!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 05, 2022 04:07 PM (axyOa)

432 Jelly donuts? I have to agree with Ace. Maybe the jelly is okay, but those donuts are awkward to eat at work. You don't want to get jelly on your good clothes. The ones like beignets with powdered sugar are just as bad.

Some of you may know the Nawlins confection known as the King Cake, which is pretty much a racetrack-shaped cinnamon bun with food coloring of purple, green, and yellow. In Denver at one job, it was my turn to buy the donuts on a Friday. I ordered a King Cake shipped up to me. People looked at it askance; I said, "Don't worry, the green is not mold." They tried it . . . and the KC was gone by 11:00.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 05, 2022 04:07 PM (txdEq)

433 Hey there!

Posted by: Hope Solo at April 05, 2022 04:08 PM (Vu7A1)

434 think I heard that Mo sold out and left town, and someone took over the name. Its too bad too because that was a treasure.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 05, 2022 03:58

Mo's isn't the same. Good luck trying to find a parking place at the Lincoln City location. It is literally on the on the beach next to the bay.

Posted by: Beartooth at April 05, 2022 04:08 PM (+3ARs)

435 >>>"Please do not approach any fox you see."

That's one of my best moves.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 04:08 PM (SH2Zi)

436
Moki, did you insert the funny C ?
Posted by: mrp at April 05, 2022 04:06 PM (6eRlp)

I did. My bad. If I have to report to the barrel, I'll go, but I'm cleaning it first.

Posted by: Moki at April 05, 2022 04:08 PM (JrN/x)

437
If that fox gives a Senator rabies, I swear I will never shoot another fox as long as I live.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 05, 2022 04:08 PM (SKVme)

438 Ich bin ein Berliner!


(I am a jelly donut?)

Posted by: Zombie John F. Kennedy at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (vcOmj)

439 "Please do not approach any fox you see." Suppose, though, that she's giving you the eye?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 05, 2022
*
And, perhaps, has a fang or two?
Posted by: Rep Eric Swalwell at April 05, 2022


***
You'd be the expert there, Eric my boy --!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (txdEq)

440 So, my dinner tonight just got demolished by the kids in under 6 minutes...

Fresh baked salmon with vegan pesto (aka - like Italian chimichurri), pasta from Poland with the same pesto, avocado cucumber and green onion salad with fresh lime and olive oil and s/p, and strawberries and blueberries.

Yes, my guest brought me the pasta, so this seemed like a good choice...and it was. A little more eggy taste for a pasta that looked just like rotini...

Posted by: Nova local at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (exHjb)

441 We're now close to Tulip Festival, which means I can gloat over y'all about having deep-fried almond patties. (The only reason I, a mostly German girl, go to this thing.)

Posted by: pookysgirl cannot dance in wooden shoes, so don't even ask at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (XKZwp)

442 The beignets are fine but the cafe au lait will draw me there.

Did that once because my sister in law insisted that it was something that had to be done when visiting NOLA. Yeah, it was good coffee and good pastries but I wouldn't stand in a line to have them again.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (nfrXX)

443 >>>"Please do not approach any fox you see.

I thought the playas approach every fox.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (l+PkC)

444 I've found a good image of the fox:

https://tinyurl.com/mr4y9cb9

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (LvTSG)

445 Thank God for plastic surgeons?
Posted by: wth at April 05, 2022 04:05 PM (v0R5T)

They can be a big help for women who have large breasts and are really uncomfortable. I don't know if the breast specialists are the same ones slicing off kids penises and making fake vaginas. THOSE ones I would not thank God for.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (GezNK)

446 Oh my God Ace, I wet myself laughing! The donut post hearkens back to the halcyon days of the AOS Blog, when essays on Kaboom cereal and Alan Thicke's perverted singer son were all the rage.

Brilliant, just brilliant. Geniuses are always misunderstood in their time.

Posted by: John Milton's Ghost at April 05, 2022 04:10 PM (PTYkn)

447 Kristi Noem will sign the banning of CRT in public schools
It's a start
Legalinsurrection.com
Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2022 04:04 PM (2JoB

The only start is pulling kids out of public school. Any law will quickly be subverted or avoided. It is like all of the election laws where two years after the election it was found out the laws were violated. Result, nothing.

Posted by: WiNO - The Odds Are Never in Our Favor at April 05, 2022 04:10 PM (EpDzw)

448 395.

Wifey and i just made 'coco bread' aka coconut buns this weekend.

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at April 05, 2022 04:10 PM (n/szn)

449 >Mo's isn't the same. Good luck trying to find a parking place at the Lincoln City location. It is literally on the on the beach next to the bay.
Posted by: Beartooth at April 05, 2022 04:08 PM (+3ARs)

Dory Cove is pretty good, and it's still not a tourist trap, even though it's right on 101 now.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at April 05, 2022 04:10 PM (a/cEo)

450 Posted by: Jewells45 at April 05, 2022 04:06 PM (nxdel)

Is dinner a surprise or you told him what sort of meal you wanted?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 04:10 PM (GezNK)

451 I did. My bad. If I have to report to the barrel, I'll go, but I'm cleaning it first.
Posted by: Moki at April 05, 2022 04:08 PM (JrN/x)

LOL I was just thinking how long it would take me to find and insert it.

Posted by: mrp at April 05, 2022 04:11 PM (6eRlp)

452
On IH35.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 03:59 PM (O3vFu)


20 miles or so north off Waco, and imperative for Baylor kids to visit on Saturday morning.

Posted by: Moki at April 05, 2022 04:12 PM (JrN/x)

453 Tough thread. I'm starving here!

Posted by: kraken at April 05, 2022 04:12 PM (Vr12I)

454 Obligatory thread theme music:

https://tinyurl.com/Fox-on-the-Run

Posted by: Sharkman at April 05, 2022 04:12 PM (GGoJR)

455 They can be a big help for women who have large breasts and are really uncomfortable.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (GezNK)

So can back rubs.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 04:12 PM (SH2Zi)

456 You want to die of sugar overload?

My alma mater, BYU, has as it's mascot the Cougar. So they make the "Cougar Tail" which they serve at sporting events.

It's a 2 foot long maple bar. I believe it is impossible for anyone over the age of 25 to actually eat it at one sitting.

Dang popular though. My two girls absolutely love getting one when we go to the games. If we can get one before they sell out, that is.

Posted by: Rafal GanGanowicz at April 05, 2022 04:12 PM (DN0pc)

457 You can bet every senator and representative has at least one fox as an intern.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 05, 2022 04:12 PM (axyOa)

458 Jonah Goldberg has a new Bulk-wad article up just now about how Jelly Donuts are the McGuffin of Kaboom cereal.

Where does this guy come up with all his creative ideas? He's the Henny Youngman of Rodney Dangerfield's of writing, I don't mind telling you!

Posted by: Boswell at April 05, 2022 04:13 PM (5iUNf)

459 nood double fake president

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at April 05, 2022 04:13 PM (LvTSG)

460 37 Rabies?

----
Can you get rabies doughnuts? Or is it just a rabies filling?
(Posted by: Louis Pasteur - yes that Pasteur!)

Posted by: Ciampino at April 05, 2022 04:13 PM (qfLjt)

461 I have brothers that live north of Dallas. I'll have to check it out the next time I visit.

Posted by: mrp at April 05, 2022 04:13 PM (6eRlp)

462 I thought the playas approach every fox.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (l+PkC)

Dang old dang in, don't tell dang old everybody my dang secrets!

Posted by: Jeff Boomhauer at April 05, 2022 04:14 PM (PiwSw)

463 A properly-made donut will, after sitting on a piece of corrugated cardboard for a few minutes, saturate it completely through with fatty grease.

Posted by: Roy at April 05, 2022 04:14 PM (Ti+Tv)

464 Relatedly, I saw a Danish pastry in a mom and pop shop today: it had a slab of cream filling, and was topped with a dozen cherries in cherry sauce, and had chocolate and white icing drizzled on it. And I bought it and ate it. Yum.

Posted by: m at April 05, 2022 04:14 PM (CRS/E)

465 Really? My problem with most local Chicago donut purveyors is that they go way too far overboard with the frosting and toppings. Maybe I'll have to give these guys a shot; I do love me a good apple fritter or five.
Posted by: Octochicken at April 05, 2022 03:59 PM

----------------------
OFD fritters are the real deal. Loaded with toothsome apple bits, lots of butter, they are glazed but not over the top sweet.

Posted by: Bigsmith at April 05, 2022 04:14 PM (RW/Iy)

466 So can back rubs.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur, homeschooler at April 05, 2022 04:12 PM (SH2Zi)

They might. I have known women who had breasts the size of bowling bowls. They were just very grateful when their breasts were a smaller size. Of course, they were not Instagram hotties.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 04:14 PM (GezNK)

467 My favorite is the Bavarian cream filled or Boston Kreme like in the picture but without the chocolate frosting and they NEVER make them without the chocolate frosting. A thin sugar glaze to keep it from drying out would be nice but the whole thing is already sugar and air with some more sugar. The stupid frosting is just too much.

Posted by: Synova at April 05, 2022 04:14 PM (BD/yx)

468 Fen.. no I told him what I wanted.

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 05, 2022 04:15 PM (nxdel)

469 Some of you may know the Nawlins confection known as the King Cake, which is pretty much a racetrack-shaped cinnamon bun with food coloring of purple, green, and yellow. In Denver at one job, it was my turn to buy the donuts on a Friday. I ordered a King Cake shipped up to me. People looked at it askance; I said, "Don't worry, the green is not mold." They tried it . . . and the KC was gone by 11:00.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

Which company do you prefer? We would get them from Gambino's.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 04:15 PM (O3vFu)

470 A properly-made donut will, after sitting on a piece of corrugated cardboard for a few minutes, saturate it completely through with fatty grease.
Posted by: Roy at April 05, 2022 04:14 PM (Ti+Tv)

So, like Joe Biden's pants then....

Posted by: Boswell at April 05, 2022 04:15 PM (5iUNf)

471 I learned on the job that if your hands are covered in hydraulic oil, the best donut option is the one covered in powdered sugar. It sucks that oil up like kitty litter and keeps your gut clean.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 05, 2022 04:15 PM (pNhkh)

472 Blueberry cake donuts.

You are welcome.

Posted by: t_bodie - Lurker. Unless you are reading this. at April 05, 2022 04:15 PM (6jpby)

473 Did that once because my sister in law insisted that it was something that had to be done when visiting NOLA. Yeah, it was good coffee and good pastries but I wouldn't stand in a line to have them again.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 05, 2022 04:09 PM (nfrXX)

Most locals ignore the line and just walk in from the other side when they see an empty table.

Posted by: Javems at April 05, 2022 04:15 PM (Y7uha)

474 Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 05, 2022 04:08 PM (SKVme)

LOL.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2022 04:15 PM (GezNK)

475 Again to reiterate,

NOOD.

Joe Biden wandering lost and confused.

So not really news, I guess.

Posted by: Rafal GanGanowicz at April 05, 2022 04:17 PM (DN0pc)

476 Which company do you prefer? We would get them from Gambino's.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2022 04:15 PM (O3vFu)

Gambino's for the win.

Posted by: Javems at April 05, 2022 04:17 PM (Y7uha)

477 Have mentioned before that last time I was at Cafe du Monde, they were filming "Storyville", and I was put right next to James Spader, next table, obviously out of the shot but a few feet away.

We chit chatted between takes, which went on and on, because he kept sneezing from the powdered sugar on the beignets. Finally a waiter (I think they were all Vietnamese-American young folks at that point) had an idea, he sprayed the beignets with a mist of water, didn't change the look, but prevented the sneezing. They were still doing takes when I left to get my plane.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 05, 2022 04:17 PM (OTzUX)

478 I'm sorry, congress critters, but foxes are "natural" and therefore superior to you. You stole their land! They were here first!

Disney also successfully applies this credo. Only one or two babies killed by gators so far, and those kids had it coming, if you ask me.

Posted by: pj at April 05, 2022 04:17 PM (G1dq6)

479 And . . . Why not?

https://tinyurl.com/Ballroom-Blitz

https://tinyurl.com/Love-is-Like-O2

Posted by: Sharkman at April 05, 2022 04:17 PM (GGoJR)

480 87 The maple bacon bar may be the actual King of Donuts.

----
I hate maple, cinnamon and ginger (the latter is okay as a spice in sauces/curries).

Posted by: Ciampino at April 05, 2022 04:22 PM (qfLjt)

481 I have a thing for bland desserts. I am hurt by ace's ruthless blindside on plain donuts.

Posted by: Brian at April 05, 2022 04:25 PM (UcvSL)

482 472 Blueberry cake donuts.

Agreed, but only if the "blueberry" is entirely artificial.

Posted by: Brian at April 05, 2022 04:27 PM (UcvSL)

483 On IH35.

Are we talking about The Czech Stop or some other place along I35 that I need to know about?

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 05, 2022 04:27 PM (ppBhU)

484 When the Paulo is plowing David French's wife does she become a sandwich?

Posted by: Robert at April 05, 2022 04:31 PM (1Yy3c)

485 off sock

Posted by: Chuck C at April 05, 2022 04:35 PM (EughT)

486 No me gusta jelly doughnuts. They suck.

Posted by: CaliGirl at April 05, 2022 04:38 PM (9mPbX)

487 I'm a Boston Creme man myself for doughnuts.

Strawberry frosted is really good though I'd put that in the top 3.

Posted by: DudeAbiding at April 05, 2022 04:44 PM (AjL/0)

488 Bavarian cream FTW!

Posted by: ShainS -- They are Child Predators, not Groomers at April 05, 2022 04:44 PM (QUPDe)

489 Should have included the obligatory "You know who else liked Bavarian cream?"

Posted by: ShainS -- They are Child Predators, not Groomers at April 05, 2022 04:45 PM (QUPDe)

490 119 I don't even know what a crepe is.

----
Must be French for creep. I think you can set them alight too (with brandy?). Suzie makes these.

Posted by: Ciampino at April 05, 2022 04:47 PM (qfLjt)

491 I thought a sandwich was defined as "organically inactive animal or vegetable material between two starch planes".

At least, that's what I learned on Saturday Night Live when the Coneheads appeared on a Family Feud skit with Richard Dawson. This was a very long time ago when SNL featured comedy.

Posted by: George V at April 05, 2022 04:55 PM (U2Tva)

492 156 Slice a hot dog lengthwise, burn it in a frying pan, and put it between two slices of bread. Burnt Weeny Sandwich.
----
That does improve any type of hot dog. I also like to use part of a French baguette instead of the bun that often seems to be made of cheap cardboard. Toasted Jimmy John day-old bread is best.

Posted by: Ciampino at April 05, 2022 04:55 PM (qfLjt)

493 Her tits are bigger than her head...


A feller could suffocate in there

Posted by: Miklos, Safe Word is "NOW!" at April 05, 2022 04:57 PM (QzkSJ)

494 OMG, that's a lot of comments on a donut thread. Used to love Dunkin (they've dropped the Donut part). The one near my house changed ownership and now they can't even get their coffee right. This is a satellite location so they don't cook their own donuts and as such have to guess what they'll sell the day before. This means they often don't have the donut my kids want. I like bavarian creme so they usually have my donut. Still, if I'm really craving a donut, I'll often drive across town to get a Krispy Kreme Hot donut. They can't be beaten just after they are cooked.

Posted by: Jeffrey at April 05, 2022 04:59 PM (8EAmw)

495 By my in-depth analysis, per graph 'a' of the various definitions of carbohydrate encased meats, a Hot Dog is technically a Taco.

On to the donuts:

Question: Who spooged all over the bearclaw? There should be no 'frosting' on a bearclaw. Just sliced almonds on top of a buttery pastry encasing some marzipan spread. Suffice to say, returning to graph 'a,' a bearclaw could be classified as a calzone.

Posted by: cubiclecommando at April 05, 2022 05:03 PM (fDz0h)

496 Your failure to recognize the superiority of the Boston Creme throws the credibility of the whole exercise into question. That and the Boston Tea Party are about the only good things to come out of Boston.

Posted by: Penultimatum at April 05, 2022 05:31 PM (dA2bw)

497 Krispy Kreme

Posted by: Snarf at April 05, 2022 06:05 PM (WiMYd)

498 Italian Zeppole with raspberry sauce. Delicioso. It's like a beignet that's connected.

Posted by: mc at April 05, 2022 06:17 PM (arTnq)

499 Chocolate-frosted angel creme filled. Hard to get here in New England because they prefer the custard version, which they call "Boston Creme" because they are provincial degenerates.

New Englanders are insane for Dunkin' Donuts, which disqualifies them from opining and makes any Boston-associated donut a sad joke.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 05, 2022 07:01 PM (5YmYl)

500 Wieners get their name from Vienna. Hot Dogs started out as Red Hots sold at Professional Baseball games. In the early day of pro baseball the guy with the Red Hot concession was making more money than the owners

Posted by: tmitsss at April 05, 2022 07:06 PM (YxaBL)

501 I despise people who claim to like plain donuts, because they are liars.

Put out a dozen assorted at work, at at day's end there will be one plain donut left. 90% of plain donuts end up as landfill. And when you confront one of these liars with these facts and ask why they didn't eat the plain donut and leave a good one for someone with taste, they'll say, "Well, I LIKE plain donuts, but I PREFER [fill in the blank with a good donut]"

Well, guess what? You don't fucking like plain donuts. Admit it or eat it.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 05, 2022 07:08 PM (5YmYl)

502 Custard creme, Bavarian creme and Boston creme are basically the same thing. They're so awful they had to keep changing the name, like Progressive to Liberal and back to Progressive.

Bavarian = Hitler.

Boston = Ted Kennedy.

Custard = The Devil's Mucus.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 05, 2022 07:13 PM (5YmYl)

503 My favorite is a chocolate Old Fashioned. Because it has the highest surface-to-volume ratio combined with frosting over all of it. Mmmm.

Posted by: jdgalt1 at April 05, 2022 08:31 PM (3SFo/)

504 Apple fritter

Posted by: Grog at April 05, 2022 08:34 PM (YFj/0)

505 My mother-in-law used to make totally enjoyable cake donuts in a big cast iron fry pan using rendered lard to fry them in.
Lovely donuts, up there with my best favorites ever.

Posted by: Speller at April 05, 2022 09:43 PM (pSotA)

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