Rising Joy: Joy Behar Falls, Face-Plants on the Set of "The View"<br>Video Added

Rising Joy: Joy Behar Falls, Face-Plants on the Set of "The View"
Video Added

She suffered a hematoma of the fartclam

What a terrible thing to happen!, he said, squirming tumesently, tugging uncomfortably at his dickhammock.

The 79-year-old comedian was walking out onstage at the start of the live show when she took a tumble just before reaching her seat.
Cameras captured Behar face-planting on the stage, with the dramatic vision beamed out to audiences across the country.
Co-hosts Sara Haines, 44, and legal eagle Sunny Hostin, 53, were heard gasping before they tried to help Behar get up.
"The View" moderator Whoopi Goldberg, 66, also rushed over to tend to the veteran star, telling her to "just stand."
Behar needed the help of Haines and Hostin to get back on her feet, and a production assistant also ran onstage for added support.
...
The star later turned serious, telling anyone who suffers a fall to monitor their symptoms.
"The main thing -- just to talk seriously -- when Bob Saget fell, he died," Behar said. "If you hit your head, and you feel dizzy or you have blurred vision, or you feel like you want to go to sleep, go to the doctor. Because that will kill you."

So you're saying we still have about 24 hours of hope left to us, huh?

Posted by: Ace at 03:50 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Is it?

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 03, 2022 03:50 PM (Y5qcH)

2 It was.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 03, 2022 03:50 PM (Y5qcH)

3 Gotcha, bitch!

Posted by: That Third Vaxx Shot at March 03, 2022 03:50 PM (BD0Jm)

4 Thankfully, she wasn't wearing a dress. {{shudder}}

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:50 PM (ptqGC)

5 Only the good die young. This 79-year old lich probably will be just fine, just like lich queen Pelosi.

Posted by: acethepug at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (pgqW6)

6 Did her fartclam release?

Posted by: strange matter at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (vcv8B)

7 Except from what I understand about the Saget story, a baseball bat was involved.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (5kI0z)

8 Behar apparently faceplanted on The View today

Next on the 11 O'Clock news - now free trips with your booster shot!

Posted by: The FNM at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (ESjRY)

9 Har, har!

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (PEbbU)

10 You're welcome!

Posted by: Gravity at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (RkC6l)

11 Great technique

Posted by: Hope Solo at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (zigsb)

12 She's stone trippin' boo!

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (QzJWU)

13 This is because DeSantis told students that they didn't have to wear masks.

That monster.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:51 PM (LvTSG)

14
She's 79. A spill like that could kill someone that old.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (s2VJv)

15 "The main thing -- just to talk seriously -- when Bob Saget fell, he died," Behar said. "If you hit your head, and you feel dizzy or you have blurred vision, or you feel like you want to go to sleep, go to the doctor. Because that will kill you."

*types* *deletes*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (ptqGC)

16 I give that a 9.5

Posted by: The Russian judge at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (ESjRY)

17 Dang it. I've been avoiding going back and reading the fartclam thread. Now I have to.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (J99NO)

18 The obese elite hosts are all unmasked, and the audience peons are all clapping and covering their faces appropriately while remembering their station in the presence of their betters.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (Kt1w/)

19 I do that a lot. It's funny because I have Alzheimers.

Posted by: ChoccyChoccyChip at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (ufJfM)

20 Yes, I know that wasn't very nice, but fuck that bitch!

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (PEbbU)

21 Falls are bad. When old people fall, it's very bad. I feel sympathy or horror when old people fall, depending on conditions.

Except, oddly, this time.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (DU+/6)

22 hiya

Posted by: JT at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (arJlL)

23 "The 79-year-old comedian was walking out onstage at the start of the live show when she took a tumble just before reaching her seat."

I suppose this might be technically true. You can still be a comedian, even if you never make people laugh...it just means you're a really bad comedian. Or a feminist one.

Posted by: AoS Philosopher at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (JCZqz)

24 Oh look, a penny !!!

Posted by: LENA at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (us2H3)

25 Jeebus, 79. Why can't these boomers just retire.

Posted by: WisRich at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (G0vdT)

26 This'll no doubt be in the next episode of "Hitler's Pencil of Doom" on yootoob.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (dfRN6)

27 I'm confused. Who was the comedian who was walking out on stage when Joyless fell?

Posted by: The Mantastic Tor at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (dwzrA)

28 The obese elite hosts are all unmasked, and the audience peons are all clapping and covering their faces appropriately while remembering their station in the presence of their betters.

On the plus side the hosts are all female (more or less) so probably no rapey rape of the peons. Probably.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (ESjRY)

29 I sure as hell won't be working at 79.

I'll probably be dead, but I won't be working.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (Y5qcH)

30 21 Falls are bad. When old people fall, it's very bad. I feel sympathy or horror when old people fall, depending on conditions.

Except, oddly, this time.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM (DU+/6)

=========

Didn't she say she was going to mask forever? And she fell while not wearing a mask?

This is because she didn't wear a mask.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (LvTSG)

31 What a terrible thing to happen!, he said, squirming tumesently, tugging uncomfortably at his dickhammock.
++++
Yeesh. LOL.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (DU+/6)

32 The East German Judge only gave her a 7.2

Pity, that's not years at hard labor.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (QzJWU)

33 My sweet dad actually died from a subdural hemotoma. So that hits home. He fell in the night on a trip to the bathroom.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (ptqGC)

34 Lindsey Graham is talking like a neighborhood tough who's peacocking against another neighborhood tough.

Russia is a nuclear power dumbass.

This game is getting dangerous.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (+tA4N)

35 I give that a 9.5

Posted by: The Russian judge

On the Richter scale? No, more like a 4.5.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (5kI0z)

36 Ace,

There is video. Thank you, God.

https://tinyurl.com/yc5db7w4

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (SH2Zi)

37 If Whoopi would have fallen, the aftershocks would still be coming.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (trdmm)

38 I give that a 9.5
Posted by: The Russian judge at March 03, 2022 03:52 PM

Only 1.0! She's still alive. Blyat!

Posted by: The Ukrainian Judge at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (RkC6l)

39 Chicken pot chicken pot chicken pot pie!!

Posted by: Frasier Crane at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (CWMF2)

40 I hope she hit her head and has brain damage...oh, wait.

Posted by: Capital Eff at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (GYllL)

41 I sure as hell won't be working at 79.

I'll probably be dead, but I won't be working.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe

You'll still be voting.

Posted by: JT at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (arJlL)

42 79-year-old comedian

She lies about her age and profession

Posted by: Bruce at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (vd8XM)

43 The grim reaper needs to work on his delivery.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (BFigT)

44 Whoa, I hadn't realized Behar was that ancient.

Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (3cGpq)

45 Missed her by that much...

Posted by: Death at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (uVDu4)

46 My dickhammock suddenly got snug.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (ufFY8)

47 29 I sure as hell won't be working at 79.

I'll probably be dead, but I won't be working.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (Y5qcH)

In this coming economy, if you're not dead, you'll be working.

Retirement doesn't happen in hyperinflationary times...

Posted by: Nova local at March 03, 2022 03:54 PM (exHjb)

48 When Bob Saget fell he died.

Well. They said his injuries were consistent with a car accident, a fall from 20 feet or getting hit in the head with a baseball bat.

One hell of a fall.

Posted by: Quincy M.E. at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (8oOr2)

49 She landed on the f- well padded ass. So, probably no harm.

Of course some people fall because they already have issues. Rather than the fall causing the issue, the issue can cause the fall.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (Cus5s)

50 The grim reaper needs to work on his delivery.

I wouldn't hit that with Ace's scythe

Posted by: The Grim Reaper at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (ESjRY)

51

For once Joy brought me joy, lol. She's a nasty evil bitch.

Posted by: four seasons at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (PisyI)

52 How's the floor taste, pum pum?

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (VpIIl)

53 The 79 year old I believe. Comedienne? Not so much.

Posted by: Indignacio Vindacatorem at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (oWBc3)

54 Willowed but still applies:
there goes my theory it was sabotage by Whoopi for Joy not rallying to her aid during Nazi-gate.

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (+mkOR)

55 Monitor your Fartclam for signs of concussion.

Posted by: Czech Chick at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (haWye)

56 Ace,

There is video. Thank you, God.

https://tinyurl.com/yc5db7w4

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (SH2Zi)

Why is their audience of clapping seals masked?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (ptqGC)

57 Bob Saget got a hit on the head like he owed the Mob money.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (zPpWF)

58 "The View" moderator Whoopi Goldberg, 66, also rushed over to tend to the veteran star, telling her to "just stand."

***slow clap***

Posted by: Azathoth at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (W3VUu)

59 We can't retire because there's like 8% inflation right now. You want to live on a fixed income with high inflation?

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (5HBd1)

60 She slipped on Whoopies squirt?

Posted by: Capital Eff at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (GYllL)

61 This is so horrible and shocking I had to stop watching after the 12th time.

Posted by: Dr. T at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (bhRsz)

62 Bwahahahahahahah-hahahahaha [gasp] hahahahahaha-hahaha-hahaahaaaa....

Gee, what a shame. Hope she's ok.

Posted by: clutch cargo - Now fortified with CPM-S90V at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (wAnMi)

63 33 My sweet dad actually died from a subdural hemotoma. So that hits home. He fell in the night on a trip to the bathroom.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (ptqGC)

That's what got my mom, too. Standing in front of her dresser deciding what to wear to church one Sunday.

I didn't much like that commedienne keeling over the other day because she landed on the back of her head, too, but it looks like Joy fanny-planted, so I'm good with this.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (dfRN6)

64 "legal eagle Sunny Hostin"

Lol

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (ptqGC)

65 Nice trip!

See you in the fall.

Posted by: Bruce at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (vd8XM)

66 Slippery fartclam.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (Y5qcH)

67 Will this fall prevent Joy from visiting Italy? Or is that just Putin's fault?

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (+mkOR)

68 Huh. Never knew cows could tip themselves.

Posted by: Iowa Farm Boy at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (JCZqz)

69 56 Why is their audience of clapping seals masked?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (ptqGC)

========

Because they are not the anointed.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (LvTSG)

70 How could Trump have done this to her?

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (KFhLj)

71 Monitor your Fartclam for signs of concussion.
Posted by: Czech Chick at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (haWye)
------------
Do not use fartclam if you are allergic to fartclam.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (W/MyG)

72 Why is their audience of clapping seals masked?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:55 PM (ptqGC)
++++
Sub-elites, when in the presence of elites, must be masked.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (DU+/6)

73 Can you give CPR to a fartclam?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (VpIIl)

74 Why are all these imbeciles still wearing masks?? Did they not get the newest NPC updates??

Posted by: Elric Blade at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (iFTx/)

75 When I'm in my 70s, I will hopefully be happily retired somewhere, having fun and living life.

I can't fathom how so many can't just let go. What are you working for your whole life?

I suppose its easy to be on the View or whatever. But still.

Posted by: Revenant at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (C35Jn)

76 She's 79? Huh; young enough to run for President

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (C3+aI)

77 willowed sign of the times - RT America has laid off its stuff and apparently closed its operations for good. No telling if this is something being ordered by Russia, or if it's just a sign of the general collapse of all Russian businesses currently.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (trdmm)

78 Why would Trump do that?

Posted by: clutch cargo - Now fortified with CPM-S90V at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (wAnMi)

79 Baseball joke: Sniper alert!

(said when someone face plants running the bases)

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (2Padd)

80 The main thing -- just to talk seriously -- when Bob Saget fell, he died.

EEwwww, Joy Behar sex vids!

Posted by: Bob Crane at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (7bRMQ)

81 74 Why are all these imbeciles still wearing masks?? Did they not get the newest NPC updates??
Posted by: Elric Blade at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (iFTx/)

==========

It's like telling an NPC to stop minding the store and go on a quest. It's just not in its nature.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (LvTSG)

82 She was probably told to get a walker or cane eighty times but she's too stubborn to listen.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (PEbbU)

83 Whoopi leaving a mucus trail

Posted by: Bruce at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (vd8XM)

84 Every time she goes out in public, someone needs to yell at her to have a nice trip

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (J99NO)

85 Didn't she say she was going to mask forever? And she fell while not wearing a mask?

This is because she didn't wear a mask.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (LvTSG)

She should have jumped up and blamed the unvaccinated, because, she's a comedian, right?

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (SH2Zi)

86 hen I'm in my 70s, I will hopefully be happily retired somewhere, having fun and living life.

I can't fathom how so many can't just let go. What are you working for your whole life?

I suppose its easy to be on the View or whatever. But still.
Posted by: Revenant at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (C35Jn)
++++
She's a celebrity of sorts. Celebrities of whatever sort can't retire because being out of the public eye might as well be dying.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (DU+/6)

87 She thought it was Springtime, but for her it was Fall.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (QzJWU)

88 After a certain age, it gets hard for some women to walk. Too much lubrication up top, and not enough down in the fartclam so the legs can't slide past each other.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (OkFHp)

89 33 My sweet dad actually died from a subdural hemotoma. So that hits home. He fell in the night on a trip to the bathroom.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 03:53 PM (ptqGC)

My uncle died because he fell into a hole.

Fell right in and broke his neck.

They were hanging him, tho.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (Y5qcH)

90 Huh. Never knew cows could tip themselves.
Posted by: Iowa Farm Boy at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM

*golf clap*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (RkC6l)

91 87 She thought it was Springtime, but for her it was Fall.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (QzJWU)

=========

You know who else thought it was Springtime...

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (LvTSG)

92 So you're saying we still have about 24 hours of hope left to us, huh?

Posted by: Ace at 03:50 PM

don't tease me....

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (8D42x)

93 "The View" moderator Whoopi Goldberg, 66, also rushed over to tend to the veteran star, telling her to "just stand."
__________

I bet Behar hadn't thought of that.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (2Padd)

94 Who's the new fag FOX hired ?

Posted by: REDACTED at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (us2H3)

95 Comedienne is the word for an unfunny woman, I believe the male term is humorist.

Posted by: Mishdog at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (3gjFX)

96 Why is their audience of clapping seals masked?
Posted by: Jane D'oh
===
COVER YOUR FACE IN MY PRESENCE!!!

Posted by: Whoopie G'uald Berg at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (Egiay)

97 "Just stand"

Thanks, Whoopi.

Posted by: Ktgreat at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (VeUrT)

98 Ace with the fartclam caption

Posted by: Dogbert at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (Z9HSN)

99 When I'm in my 70s, I will hopefully be happily retired somewhere, having fun and living life.
I can't fathom how so many can't just let go. What are you working for your whole life?
I suppose its easy to be on the View or whatever. But still.
Posted by: Revenant at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (C35Jn)

Joy at 3: Look at me Daddy! Daddy! DADDY! Daddy look at me daddy! DADDY LOOK! LOOK AT MEEEE DADDY!

Joy at 80: Look at me! Look! LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT MEEEE! LOOK! LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!!

Posted by: clutch cargo - Now fortified with CPM-S90V at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (wAnMi)

100 You know who else thought it was Springtime...
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (LvTSG)

Winter for Poland and France...

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (ufFY8)

101 We need a fartclam emoji.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (Y5qcH)

102 She's a celebrity of sorts. Celebrities of whatever sort can't retire because being out of the public eye might as well be dying.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 03:57 PM (DU+/6)
--
I basically just want to be left alone. I guess Behar wants everyone to look at her until she dies.

Why anyone wants to look at her is a different question.

Posted by: Revenant at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (C35Jn)

103 She must have skipped breakfast.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (llON8)

104 Thermobombastic

war crime

Posted by: REDACTED at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (us2H3)

105 Gravity is sexist!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (2Padd)

106 If you hit your head, and you feel dizzy or you have blurred vision,

Hey Behar, how many fingers am I holding up?

Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (axyOa)

107 100 You know who else thought it was Springtime...
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (LvTSG)

Winter for Poland and France...
Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (ufFY

========

The latest fashions in Paris are very Boss. I'm gonna goosestep to the boutique to get myself some nice jackboots.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (LvTSG)

108 I wonder how many were clapping that she fell?

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (VpIIl)

109 She must have skipped breakfast.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (llON

What, in 1963?

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (SH2Zi)

110 "Cameras captured Behar face-planting on the stage, with the dramatic vision beamed out to audiences across the country."

Rather presumptuous claim there.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (P4LRL)

111 I bet she shows up soon wearing those Coke bottle bottom glasses that Hillary had for a while after her "oops, I fell".

You know, the ones that looked like they could see into the future.

Posted by: Azathoth at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (W3VUu)

112 Rearranging her face can only help her looks.

Medusa calls her for beauty tips.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (F0YaR)

113 Huh. Never knew cows could tip themselves.
Posted by: Iowa Farm Boy at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM

I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your cow

Posted by: Bruce at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (vd8XM)

114

I feel sorry for the floor.

Posted by: Dr.Rev. Senator Your Highness E Buzz Miller, Esq PhD MA MS at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (XnbJC)

115 Can you give CPR to a fartclam?

Asking for a friend.
Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (VpIIl)

Is your friend Van Taylor?

Posted by: Mishdog at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (3gjFX)

116 After a certain age, it gets hard for some women to walk. Too much lubrication up top, and not enough down in the fartclam so the legs can't slide past each other.
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest

Vacuum lock.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (zPpWF)

117 Turf cameltoe?

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (OgrpQ)

118 Before she fell the entire audience was clapping like seals with masks on for these brainless propagandists.
Sad that we have so many misinformed people voting.

Posted by: redridinghood at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (NpAcC)

119 Currently at the pump paying 10 cents more per gallon for gas then when I filled up yesterday.

Posted by: 29Victor at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (/0Jyo)

120 She must have skipped breakfast.

**

I seriously doubt that has happened in decades.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (Kt1w/)

121 Commence!

Posted by: The Boomer Wars at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (Xrfse)

122 If had been wearing a mask, that wouldn't have happened. For shame!

Posted by: rc at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (giWZY)

123 Post turtle minus post.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (2Padd)

124 The 79-year-old comedian
.......

COMEDIAN? Did she fall on purpose?

Posted by: wth at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (v0R5T)

125 boutique to get myself some nice jackboots.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 03:59 PM (LvTSG)

You are marching to a faster pace....

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (ufFY8)

126 I hope she broke her dick.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (VpIIl)

127 Damn that Putin and his floorwax!

Is there no end to his evil?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (LKTKP)

128 "The View" moderator Whoopi Goldberg, 66, also rushed over to tend to the veteran star, telling her to "just stand."
_________
I bet Behar hadn't thought of that.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM (2Padd)
++++
Just like how the key to fixing inflation is to bring your costs down, not your wages!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (DU+/6)

129 meow

Posted by: Robert the Cat (TM) at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (p+1gI)

130 Musta sprung a leak from her Thinx

Posted by: REDACTED at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (us2H3)

131 Comedian?

Posted by: profligatewaste at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (NuA1h)

132 Her face,,,,,it's trying to grow hairy roots.

Great show.

Posted by: Humphreyrobot at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (aKHYY)

133 I thought the feelgood threads were for the evening. We need a cell video and an Inman commentary track.

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (PVu+v)

134 Can you give CPR to a fartclam?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (VpIIl)

Lord knows I've tried.

Posted by: Shep! at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (7bRMQ)

135 >>> 75 When I'm in my 70s, I will hopefully be happily retired somewhere, having fun and living life. I can't fathom how so many can't just let go. What are you working for your whole life? I suppose its easy to be on the View or whatever. But still. Posted by: Revenant at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (C35Jn)

I kept wondering that about granny mcbotox and sniffy crappants during the SotU.

Joy kept trying to make joy happen, she even got her own named daytime talk show... luckily that was a bridge too far for America. Failed and slinked back to the view for the easy money for ten minutes of hate.

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (+mkOR)

136 Why are all these imbeciles still wearing masks?? Did they not get the newest NPC updates??
Posted by: Elric Blade at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (iFTx/)

Power. The bitches on the view love their power. How cool is it to tell the audience that comes in to clap and laugh ant your every move they must wear masks? And you just know, not a single person said "fuck that noise". I don't see this stopping until they think it's effecting their numbers.

Posted by: clutch cargo - Now fortified with CPM-S90V at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (wAnMi)

137 Currently at the pump paying 10 cents more per gallon for gas then when I filled up yesterday.
==
Inflation. Sometimes it catches you between mouthfuls.

Posted by: Support Your Local Sheriff at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (bEqdj)

138 "Cameras captured Behar face-planting on the stage, with the dramatic vision beamed out to audiences across the country."

*

Remember, even if it was anywhere close to live, there's a delay.

They wanted people to see that happen to her.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (Kt1w/)

139 Can you give CPR to a fartclam?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (VpIIl)

You need a size 12 boot.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:01 PM (SH2Zi)

140 I feel sorry for the floor.

Posted by: Dr.Rev. Senator Your Highness E Buzz Miller, Esq PhD MA MS at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (XnbJC)
___________

The repairs won't take long. First, they have to remove the chalk outline, though.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (2Padd)

141 Whoopi later called the fall a "white on brown crime".

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (PVu+v)

142 "The View" moderator Whoopi Goldberg, 66, also rushed over to tend to the veteran star, telling her to "just stand."
_________
I bet Behar hadn't thought of that.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 03:58 PM

I'm calling fake news on that one.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (RkC6l)

143 She must have skipped breakfast.

***

The last time Joy skipped anywhere the French were in Indochina.

Posted by: Azathoth at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (W3VUu)

144 Bob Saget probably got murdered.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (XvPQV)

145 My 82 year old dad fell last night. Hi didn't hit his head, just knocked a bunch of shit off the microwave which sits on a microwave cart. But I had to help him get up. He has lost so much muscle tone the last year or two he could get himself up with his arms with me just holding the chair to make sure it was stable for him. He was always a strong guy so this muscle loss saddens me; but he has NO concept of exercising. He was strong cuz grew up on a farm and did enough activity until he retired to maintain most of that but its fading away now.

Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (3cGpq)

146 Sudden spells of inability to maintain ones balance is a symptom of both the vaxx and the virus.

It's a fog of the body. A failure to receive ones exact balance. It's not quite like being dizzy this is a fatigue of the brain and it will increase in appearance until it becomes more and more obvious and present. You'll want to lie down, feel sleepy, fatigued even without heavy work. Don't succomb to temptation and lie down.
Stay awake. Take vitd3, vit c, quercetin, zinc, IVM, HCQ if you have them or can get them. You should've been taking supplements all this time to boost the immune system that will make the symptoms milder and last less time. Good luck.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (XEtO0)

147 Is there good audio? Pretty sure when that tub fell there has to be the sound of gas coming out.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (VpIIl)

148 That Sin�ad O'Connor sidebar video is the reason I don't go to school reunions, no need to spoil a good memory.

Posted by: lowandslow at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (4thlk)

149 She found pics of Groot's schlong on her hubbie's phone

Posted by: REDACTED at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (us2H3)

150 Mom told me never to laugh at someone else's physical pain.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha-gasping for air-hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Sorry Mom.

Posted by: Archer at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (gmo/4)

151 144 Bob Saget probably got murdered.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (XvPQV)

===========

He wouldn't return the truffle pig.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (LvTSG)

152 Seriously, who the hell is Joy Behar?

Posted by: dantesed at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (193FS)

153 ""Just stand" Thanks, Whoopi."

well, the whole quote was more inspirational.

"Don't be a pussy, just stand"

Posted by: illiniwek at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (Cus5s)

154 I'm just Joyless

Posted by: SMOD at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (RHGPo)

155 An international cat fancier society decided to slap harsh restrictions against cats bred in Russia and those belonging to people living in Russia, a latest sanction amid Russia-Ukraine conflict that shocked Chinese netizens, which is trending top on Chinese social media with many netizens questioning "what's all this crisis going on with animals?"

The NGO, FIFe Executive Board, claimed in its latest statement that they were "shocked and horrified" by the Russia-Ukraine conflict, and they felt they cannot just witness these "atrocities" and do nothing.

The organization decided that as of Tuesday "no cat bred in Russia may be imported and registered in any FIFe pedigree book outside Russia, regardless of which organization issued its pedigree." Also, "no cat belonging to exhibitors living in Russia may be entered at any FIFe show outside Russia, regardless of which organization these exhibitors hold their membership in."

Posted by: SMOD at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (RHGPo)

156 138 Remember, even if it was anywhere close to live, there's a delay.

They wanted people to see that happen to her.

Yep. I have no idea WHY they wanted to show this, but this wasn't aired accidentally.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (HsAzN)

157 What's really shocking in the video that flounder provided is that on the audience panning shot (most of the video), I saw more than one dude in the audience.

There is no excuse. None. We're not talking about slogging through some Hugh Grant/Sandra Bullock chick flick, we're talking about the freaking View. There is no possible excuse that a man can provide for being in The View's audience that has any chance of being acceptable.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (DU+/6)

158 Now that I've seen the video it's pretty clear Whoopi's gravitational pull disrupted Behar's decrepit gate.

Posted by: The Mantastic Tor at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (dwzrA)

159 Truffle pig, right next to Joy Behar

Kismet!

Posted by: Support Your Local Sheriff at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (AMMRA)

160 Funniest thing this supposed comedian has ever done.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (uHFrd)

161 Can you give CPR to a fartclam?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 03:56 PM (VpIIl)

What an idea. Certainly nothing you'd want to try on a hot, toned 28 year old stripper.
*shifty eyes*

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (XvPQV)

162 She suffered a hematoma of the fartclam
---------

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THIS CAPTION SUGGESTS THAT JOY BEHAR'S FARTCLAM IS LOCATED INSIDE HER HEAD

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (7jGI+)

163 Just kidding. I don't think she was 28.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (XvPQV)

164 My dad fell getting a glass of milk at the sink. He told me he low crawled to the phone to call me. In the middle of the night he says "I've fallen and I can't get up" laughing. Jeebus, dead weight is heavy.

Posted by: dartist at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (+ya+t)

165 She found pics of Groot's schlong on her hubbie's phone
Posted by: REDACTED at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (us2H3)

How did the phone get there?

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (ufFY8)

166 That's the funniest thing Joy has done in decades.

Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (Fs5vw)

167 The 79-year-old comedian
.......

COMEDIAN? Did she fall on purpose?
Posted by: wth at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (v0R5T)
***

Vaudeville makes a comeback.

Closes on day 1.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (axyOa)

168 Comedian? Really. She is as funny as a floor burn.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (mtiWj)

169 >>>Cameras captured Behar face-planting on the stage, with the dramatic vision beamed out to audiences across the country.
===============
These people will do anything for sweeps week

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (C3+aI)

170 157 What's really shocking in the video that flounder provided is that on the audience panning shot (most of the video), I saw more than one dude in the audience.

There is no excuse. None. We're not talking about slogging through some Hugh Grant/Sandra Bullock chick flick, we're talking about the freaking View. There is no possible excuse that a man can provide for being in The View's audience that has any chance of being acceptable.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (DU+/6)

Money to pay off loansharks and keep kneecaps?

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (z5Vrg)

171 Some yells "serpentine, serpentine!" at a 79 year old hag and this is what you get.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (BFigT)

172 Just the puncline:

Lil johnny: right on her swarthy butthole
Teacher: Johnnie we say fartclam
Lil johnny: Fartclam!!! Damn near killed her!!

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (1rRhs)

173 Apparently Joyless felt so strongly about making the point about Saget, she was willing to fall on her ass on camera.

What are they trying to distract people from re: Saget?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (HsAzN)

174 Who this honky bitch think she is? Nobody would care if a black woman fell.

Posted by: Ida Bae Wells at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (ZsR3z)

175 The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Posted by: Zombie Oscar Wilde at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (lKAqb)

176 173 Apparently Joyless felt so strongly about making the point about Saget, she was willing to fall on her ass on camera.

What are they trying to distract people from re: Saget?
Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (HsAzN)

=========

Why else do you think Putin invaded the Ukraine?! Think, sheeple!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (LvTSG)

177
The 79-year-old comedian
.......

COMEDIAN? Did she fall on purpose?
Posted by: wth

Pratfall or Fatfall?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (63Dwl)

178 Thank heavens she wasn't endeavoring to load herself into Air Force One.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (PEbbU)

179 ""Just stand" Thanks, Whoopi."

==
what was implied was, "stop wallowing in your white privilege and broken hip and get back to work."

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. Whoopie Explainer at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (o8kFe)

180 >>> 145 My 82 year old dad fell last night. Hi didn't hit his head, just knocked a bunch of shit off the microwave which sits on a microwave cart. But I had to help him get up. He has lost so much muscle tone the last year or two he could get himself up with his arms with me just holding the chair to make sure it was stable for him. He was always a strong guy so this muscle loss saddens me; but he has NO concept of exercising. He was strong cuz grew up on a farm and did enough activity until he retired to maintain most of that but its fading away now.
Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (3cGpq)

Not sure but I think vitamin D is supposed to help with muscle tone for the elderly.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (llON8)

181 Why is the audience all masked up but Joy's FartClam isn't?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (LKTKP)

182 Joy level kinda flat today

Posted by: Dogbert at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (Z9HSN)

183 Wait wait wait, Joy Behar is a comedian?

Never heard of her before The View and this is the first laughter she's ever given me.

Posted by: McLurkerson at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (wNDOJ)

184 >>>Currently at the pump paying 10 cents more per gallon for gas then when I filled up yesterday.
Posted by: 29Victor at March 03, 2022 04:00 PM (/0Jyo)

======

And 25 cents more than I paid last Saturday.

Posted by: Timbuk3 at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (aTF6l)

185 To be fair she kept her best side to the camera.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 04:06 PM (axyOa)

186 I think Saget did more than just fell. I think he was attacked in the hall of the hotel. Someone recognized him and figured he'd have money. They waited till he opened his door and hit him. If he struggled they hit him again. If a dowel of wood is wrapped with cloth and tape, it can hit in such a manner that there is not that much blood. Note he was placed in bed on the top of the covers, I believe. This indicates someone else put him there so it would appear he died while asleep. Someone who works for the hotel or someone with connections to a spotter in the hotel.

This happens a lot but no one hears about it because the hotels keep it hushed up.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (XEtO0)

187 79 and Behar still needs that sweet sweet affirmation from an audience?

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/)) at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (5pTK/)

188 What are the odds the Whoopster yanked her chair out from under her as she was sitting down?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (2Padd)

189 There is no possible excuse that a man can provide for being in The View's audience that has any chance of being acceptable.

Tapping some stupid poon?

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (ufFY8)

190 I have nothing to add.

Posted by: Nelson Muntz at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (7jGI+)

191 video added

brb

nuttin'

Posted by: ace at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (0G13K)

192 She must have skipped breakfast.

***

The last time Joy skipped anywhere the French were in Indochina.

Posted by: Azathoth at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (W3VUu)

Nice.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (SH2Zi)

193 Joy is 79 years old. Think about that. She was 20, a young adult, when JFK was assassinated. She was 25 when RFK was shot, 26 when Teddy left Mary Jo to die and men landed on the moon and goofballs crowded into a field for Woodstock, over 30 when the Watergate story broke. Think of all the history she's seen.

And she hasn't learned a thing from any of it.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (txdEq)

194 The organization decided that as of Tuesday "no cat bred in Russia may be imported and registered in any FIFe pedigree book outside Russia, regardless of which organization issued its pedigree."

these motherfuckers are gonna start an bunch of dumbassed reprisals on poor cats simply because of genetics. sad that they are so ignorant of how they have expanded racism to poor innocent pets now.

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (IJES/) - at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (IJES/)

195 183 Wait wait wait, Joy Behar is a comedian?

Well, it was a very, very long time ago. You had to go to the Nickelodeon. Not the TV channel. The actual Nickelodeon.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 03, 2022 04:08 PM (HsAzN)

196 Seriously, who the hell is Joy Behar?

Posted by: dantesed at March 03, 2022 04:03 PM (193FS)

----------

A former NY public school teacher. I am NOT kidding.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:08 PM (ptqGC)

197 It's bad etiquette to fall in the middle of John McCain's funeral.

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:08 PM (7jGI+)

198 Palerider, good luck to your dad. Went though that with my grandma, I don't wish that fear of sudden falls for a loved one on anyone. She had osteoporosis and got infusions of something to help make her bones stronger. They stopped snapping like twigs when she'd fall, so that helped.

For semi active morons, a bosu ball is good. It's like half a yoga ball, you do exercises on it to train your body to handle unstable terrain and prevent falls.

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:08 PM (+mkOR)

199 16 I give that a 9.5
Posted by: The Russian judge at March 03, 2022 03:52
---------------

Late to the party, but I LOL'd. Thanks.

Posted by: olddog in mo at March 03, 2022 04:08 PM (ju2Fy)

200 She landed on her fat ass. Darn the luck.

Posted by: Jak Sucio at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (jvt6t)

201 Don't care for her but I gotta say she looks gp for 79. Great makeup department. Guessing her hair might be dyed. What do you think?

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (2NHgQ)

202 170 157 What's really shocking in the video that flounder provided is that on the audience panning shot (most of the video), I saw more than one dude in the audience.

There is no excuse. None. We're not talking about slogging through some Hugh Grant/Sandra Bullock chick flick, we're talking about the freaking View. There is no possible excuse that a man can provide for being in The View's audience that has any chance of being acceptable.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (DU+/6)
____________
I had exactly the same thought. "We'll be passing around a bucket. Place your man cards in it."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (2Padd)

203 188 What are the odds the Whoopster yanked her chair out from under her as she was sitting down?

LOL - and then she yelled "WHOOPSIE!"

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (HsAzN)

204 183 Wait wait wait, Joy Behar is a comedian?

***

For certain values of Margaret Cho, yes...

Posted by: Azathoth at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (W3VUu)

205 My friends grampa died after falling off a ladder when we were in high school. Scary how quick it happened.

Posted by: Mishdog at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (3gjFX)

206 video added

brb

nuttin'

Posted by: ace at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (0G13K)

-------------

TMI

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (ptqGC)

207 these motherfuckers are gonna start an bunch of dumbassed reprisals on poor cats simply because of genetics. sad that they are so ignorant of how they have expanded racism to poor innocent pets now.
Posted by: BifBewalski @ (IJES/) - at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (IJES/)

I'm for real waiting for some woke supermarket to pull Russian dressing.

Posted by: The Mantastic Tor at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (dwzrA)

208 Money to pay off loansharks and keep kneecaps?
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at March 03, 2022 04:05 PM (z5Vrg)
++++
No. The correct answer in that case is to run. You're going to get kneecapped anyway, and then you'll have no knees and *also* will have suffered through The View.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (DU+/6)

209 good not gp dammit

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (2NHgQ)

210 PaleRider is simply irredeemable at March 03, 2022 04:02 PM (3cGpq)

Get him up and on his feet. Walking is best. When you get old your motivation to do stuff goes in the toilet. However if people who care about him push him he'll respond and be better for it. He helped you when you were a child. It's your turn now.

Feel for those who don't have children nearby.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (XEtO0)

211 200 She landed on her fat ass. Darn the luck.
Posted by: Jak Sucio at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (jvt6t)
_________

It's her center of gravity.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (2Padd)

212 Joy Behar : Trevor Noah :: Not A Comedian : Not A Comedian

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (aXxgO)

213 Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Wipeout

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (7jGI+)

214 212 Joy Behar : Trevor Noah :: Not A Comedian : Not A Comedian
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (aXxgO)

==========

*heavy sigh*

I was always so bad at this...Give me a minute...I'll figure it out.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (LvTSG)

215 There is no excuse. None.

Joe. If the blonde chick in the orange dress from yesterday told me I could do things with her; I might be in the audience.

Posted by: Archer at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (gmo/4)

216 So the COVID can't get you if you're helping an elderly woman up off the floor.

What an interesting virus.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (Kt1w/)

217 Graceful as always...

Posted by: Captain Hate won't forget Michael Byrd Murdered Ashli Babbitt at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (y7DUB)

218 Maybe she could join the concussion lawsuit against the NFL. Everyone else is.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (uHFrd)

219 Hah - Ha 79 yo lady falls on face

Posted by: Kurt at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (c6LpP)

220 215 There is no excuse. None.

Joe. If the blonde chick in the orange dress from yesterday told me I could do things with her; I might be in the audience.
Posted by: Archer at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (gmo/4)

=========

I, uh, I still have that tab open.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)

221 Tapping some stupid poon?
Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at March 03, 2022 04:07 PM (ufFY

++++
Nope, not an excuse. That is an excuse for watching that rom-com, but not for watching The View in the live audience. You can tell her to have fun while you go eat a hot dog and have a beer and meet her after. You can even get her a Whoopi Goldberg bobble-head from the gift shop. But actually stepping into the studio? Nope, no excuse.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (DU+/6)

222 BREAKING: New Fartclam and Dickhammock Attachments Announced for the Mx. Potato Head toy. Developing ...

Posted by: ShainS -- Honk Semper Tyrannis! at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (G/vKh)

223 How does 79-year-old manage to be so sturdy?

Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (KTd/6)

224 5 out of, would fap to again.

Posted by: kalel666 at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (9J4Eb)

225 Someone needs to tell that table of crones the USO needs them to go to Ukraine. To entertain.

Dare them.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (ptqGC)

226 Triple Lindy > Trippin' Joy

Posted by: 496 at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (VJsqe)

227 Don't care for her but I gotta say she looks gp for 79. Great makeup department. Guessing her hair might be dyed. What do you think?
Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (2NHgQ)
___________

Do you think Maxine Waters's hair is dyed?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (2Padd)

228 >>>212 Joy Behar : Trevor Noah :: Not A Comedian : Not A Comedian
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel

absolutely true. Trevor Noah got his job from a Racial Make A Wish charity.

Posted by: ace at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (0G13K)

229 I wouldn't hit that with ace's dick.

They don't make poles that long.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (XEtO0)

230 Ha ha it's funny because she's fat!

Posted by: Mr. Chow at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (ufFY8)

231 At least it wasn't a fall-fall.

Posted by: The Whoopister at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (a3Q+t)

232 My mother is so old she had Nabokov as her English Lit professor in college. Luckily I have her notes from the class so I learned something too.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (C3+aI)

233 DOWN GOES BEHAR! DOWN GOES BEHAR!! DOWN GOES BEHAR!!!

Posted by: Zombie Howard Cosell at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (g6VYb)

234 A former NY public school teacher. I am NOT kidding.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:08 PM (ptqGC)

Did not know that. That explains her stunningness and bravery.

Posted by: The Mantastic Tor at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (dwzrA)

235 My friends grampa died after falling off a ladder when we were in high school. Scary how quick it happened.
Posted by: Mishdog

*

Yeah, people don't appreciate how dangerous ladders are. Even little stepstools. Three points of contact are crucial.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (Kt1w/)

236 When the stage lights in your eye
and you fall over and die
That's a Behar

Posted by: Capital Eff at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (GYllL)

237 Hey, Joy, knock off the fancy moves. Just left/right, left/right, OK?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (2Padd)

238 Hah - Ha 79 yo lady falls on face
Posted by: Kurt at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (c6LpP)

It was her fat ass. Try to keep up.

Posted by: Jak Sucio at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (jvt6t)

239 This blonde in a sweater doesn't watch The View:
https://is.gd/ZxBKC2

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (DU+/6)

240 This isn't funny. It's hilarious.

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (7jGI+)

241 >>>Hah - Ha 79 yo lady falls on face

It's sad, that she didn't fall on Kurt.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (SH2Zi)

242 Joy Behar is a commediene?

I thought she was a professional bitterpain shrew.

Posted by: Minuteman at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (LaNzR)

243 But actually stepping into the studio? Nope, no excuse.
==
Yeah, there's somethings you just should never do. That's one of them.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. keeper of the no no list at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (8oOr2)

244 My friends grampa died after falling off a ladder when we were in high school. Scary how quick it happened.
Posted by: Mishdog
____________

My wife gets pissed whenever I climb up on a ladder.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (2Padd)

245 Do you think Maxine Waters's hair is dyed?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (2Padd)

Do you think that's Maxine Water's actual hair?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (ptqGC)

246 Do you think Maxine Waters's hair is dyed?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (2Padd)
============
Do you think Maxine Waters hair is her own?

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (C3+aI)

247 >>>219 Hah - Ha 79 yo lady falls on face

It's also because she's evil dumb ugly and foul

>>>230 Ha ha it's funny because she's fat!

that adds to it, yes

Posted by: ace at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (0G13K)

248 It's sad, that she didn't fall on Kurt.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (SH2Zi)
++++
He finds it very sad. He longs for the touch of a woman - any touch, from any woman.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (DU+/6)

249 Down goes Joy Fraizer

Posted by: REDACTED at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (us2H3)

250 hahaha, even Kurt's making fun of her face.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (Kt1w/)

251 She used to do radio public service spots with McGruff the crime dog.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (63Dwl)

252 That person in the bumble bee stripes looks like a lifeguard.

Is there a swimming pool on this show?

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (OkFHp)

253 to tell that table of crones the

Joy thought it was a table of scones and ran to it, tripping.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (ufFY8)

254 Caught in a Mosh
Caught in a Mish

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (k6ntG)

255 248 He finds it very sad. He longs for the touch of a woman - any touch, from any woman.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (DU+/6)

========

He tries with the prostitutes, but he can never stop his own crying when they get close to him.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (LvTSG)

256 Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (DU+/6)

She might not but Imma watch her view.

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (nT2En)

257 Now let's all close our eyes and imagine Joey doing the same thing on live TV.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (ptqGC)

258 Joy been hitting the giggle juice a bit early.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Sings the Songs of its People! at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (0QYMt)

259 She's SEVENTY NINE???????

I thought she was maybe 60, but I don't watch the show.

God bless her, falling is always dangerous especially at an elderly age, but maybe it's time to head to that studio in the retirement community.

Posted by: Ddad at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (kA2DB)

260 Don't care for her but I gotta say she looks gp for 79. Great makeup department. Guessing her hair might be dyed. What do you think?
Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at March 03, 2022 04:09 PM (2NHgQ)
___________

Do you think Maxine Waters's hair is dyed?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM

Are you talking about their head hair?

Posted by: J. Random Single 'Ron at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (a3Q+t)

261 Did you feel that earthquake?

Yeah.

Was it San Andreas Fault?

No, it was Joy Behar's fault.

Posted by: Stu Podaso at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (9RtK7)

262 As the wife says, you can't kill a weed.

Posted by: Darth Randall at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (3TihK)

263 AlaBAMA: "Why is the audience all masked up but Joy's FartClam isn't?"

Didn't she just say that she was going to go through the rest of her life masked? I mean within the last week or so?

I just cannot stand these frauds. We are not of the same species.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (aXxgO)

264 That person in the bumble bee stripes looks like a lifeguard.

Is there a swimming pool on this show?
==
There has to be, right? I mean there are at least two trained whales.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. keeper of the no no list at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (8oOr2)

265 Ok, so Jane beat me to it. I was debating asking if it was even "human hair".

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (C3+aI)

266 She fell because other people weren't wearing the right shoes.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (Kt1w/)

267 He finds it very sad. He longs for the touch of a woman

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (DU+/6)

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (7jGI+)

268 231 At least it wasn't a fall-fall.

Thread winner!

Posted by: Dogbert at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (Z9HSN)

269 Joy demonstrating that the Hindenburg was Trump's fault

Posted by: REDACTED at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (us2H3)

270 266 She fell because other people weren't wearing the right shoes.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (Kt1w/)

=========

That, and because Sponge isn't vaccinated.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (LvTSG)

271 Deplorable Jay. That's a wig on Mad Maxine. Used to sell them. Joy's is her own, or mostly own that has been dyed. No one at her age should be dying their hair that color. Vanity, thy name is Joy Behar.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (2NHgQ)

272 There is no possible excuse that a man can provide for being in The View's audience that has any chance of being acceptable.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (DU+/6)

Garrett?

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (SH2Zi)

273 She fell because other people weren't wearing the right shoes.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Nothing's Built, Nothing's Back, Nothing's Better at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (Kt1w/)
++++
Very, very nicely done.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (DU+/6)

274
When Pelosi saw the video of Behar she jumped up and started knuckle dusting around her office.

Posted by: it's the latest craze! at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (V/mPd)

275 She should sue....

Posted by: runner at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (rqQ57)

276 Hey Joy see you next spring. Have a nice fall.

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (7jGI+)

277 242 Joy Behar is a commediene?

I thought she was a professional bitterpain shrew.
======> Minuteman a

Really, they are professional scolds. That is what we have done - we have taken the bitter old women that more civilized cultures would dunk into lakes, and we put them on TV.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (OkFHp)

278 >>>She landed on her fat ass. Darn the luck.

>If she landed on her face, nobody would even notice, except maybe Bette Midler. Fartclam.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (PEbbU)

279 Joy Behar is a comedian?

hunh. who knew?

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (mZOHK)

280 The actual Nickelodeon.

LOLROFL.

Posted by: No one of any consequence at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (lKAqb)

281 Do you think that's Maxine Water's actual hair?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:12 PM (ptqGC)

246 Do you think Maxine Waters's hair is dyed?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (2Padd)
============
Do you think Maxine Waters hair is her own?
Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (C3+aI)
_____________

Exactly my point. She gets her hair sent out to be coiffed. Funny that a black woman plumps for a white woman's hair-do.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (2Padd)

282 220 215 There is no excuse. None.

Joe. If the blonde chick in the orange dress from yesterday told me I could do things with her; I might be in the audience.
Posted by: Archer at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (gmo/4)

=========

I, uh, I still have that tab open.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)

------------------------------

So, how's about sharing with those of us that missed it?

Posted by: No One of Consequence at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (CAJOC)

283 Joy been hitting the giggle juice a bit early.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Sings the Songs of its People! at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (0QYMt)

Let's not rule out the clot shot just yet.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (SH2Zi)

284 There is no such thing as a female comedian.

There are some that are good physical comedians but none that just do a monologue and tell jokes.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (XEtO0)

285 I'm not laughing because a 79 yo womynx fell, I'm laughing because it was Joy Behar in front of a live and National audience.

Posted by: Jak Sucio at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (jvt6t)

286 Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:08 PM (+mkOR)

One of the things they have us old geezers do in our silver sneakers class is different exercises for balance. It's scary how terrible I am. I have to hold on to the chair for almost all of them.

Posted by: Jewells45 deplorablethug#FJB at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (nxdel)

287 He tries with the prostitutes, but he can never stop his own crying when they get close to him.
==
Trip to Thailand would clear that right up for him.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. Ladyboy tour director at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (wKqIi)

288 Garrett?
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (SH2Zi)
++++
Nope. Being gay is no excuse for going to watch The View as an audience member. Some gay guys are fabulous, some are super strong, some are just otherwise-normal dudes, etc. - but even for them, there is no excuse for being The View's audience.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (DU+/6)

289 282 220 215 There is no excuse. None.
Joe. If the blonde chick in the orange dress from yesterday told me I could do things with her; I might be in the audience.
Posted by: Archer at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (gmo/4)
=========
I, uh, I still have that tab open.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)
------------------------------
So, how's about sharing with those of us that missed it?
Posted by: No One of Consequence at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (CAJOC)
=========

https://tinyurl.com/ye242mrv

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (LvTSG)

290 Was she sober?

Posted by: Skip at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (2JoB8)

291 156 Any publicity is good publicity?

Posted by: Noted Scholar at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (LilNs)

292 "Whoopi Goldberg fell today on The View. Dozens injured."

Posted by: Azathoth at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (W3VUu)

293 Say a prayer for people who take care of elderly parents at home. No way one person can do it.

Posted by: dartist at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (+ya+t)

294 Deplorable Jay. That's a wig on Mad Maxine.
___________

Of course. I was suggesting that Behar's hair might also have belonged to a horse at one point.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (2Padd)

295 Joy been hitting the giggle juice a bit early.
Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Sings the Songs of its People! at March 03, 2022 04:13 PM (0QYMt)
=================
You think they were doing Stoli shots beforehand? Since it has to be thrown out anyway (according to libtards), you may as hell drink the inventory.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (C3+aI)

296 The Aristofats!

Posted by: Gilbert Gottfried at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (ufFY8)

297 Looks like Joy wasn't positioned for success.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (a3Q+t)

298 "Whoopi Goldberg fell today on The View. Dozens injured."
Posted by: Azathoth at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (W3VUu)
___________

In the ensuing celebration?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (2Padd)

299 And keep in mind that 288 is a call-back to when Ace called garrett gay in a main post. I realize that anyone who missed that might be super confused.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (DU+/6)

300 Picturing her reaching for her mouthguard like when Buster Douglas knocked out Tyson

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (k6ntG)

301 When Pelosi saw the video of Behar she jumped up and started knuckle dusting around her office.
Posted by: it's the latest craze! at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM

Just saw that video today. That was some next level bizarre shit.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (RkC6l)

302 299 And keep in mind that 288 is a call-back to when Ace called garrett gay in a main post. I realize that anyone who missed that might be super confused.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (DU+/6)

=========

I don't get it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (LvTSG)

303 The AL Senate passed Constitutional Carry today. The bill now goes back to the House for reconciliation. This is starting to look like a done deal.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (sWM8x)

304 Ya gotta hand it to Randy Quaid.

@RandyRRQuaid

Cooked, Schiff, Pelosi Brandon and others' false Trump narrative for years about Russia put us and the world in this terrible unsafe place of not knowing fake intelligence from real.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (ptqGC)

305 Paramount Pictures @ParamountPics - 3H

To stand in solidarity with the people of the Ukraine, Paramount Pictures has made the decision to digitally remove Ensign Chekov from his appearances on all Star Trek television and cinematic releases. For those who own any physical media of Star Trek OS, or Star Trek I-VI, you may mail these to the address linked below, and we will supply you with the latest remastered versions (plus S&H) available April 1. We would further like to take the opportunity to thank the fans for their understanding and cooperation, and look forward to many more Star Trek franchises in the future. Trek On!

Posted by: Paramount Global at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (wAnMi)

306 It measured a 3.4 on the Richter scale here in VA.

Posted by: WeBoned! at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (8k7U7)

307 Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (DU+/6)

garrets sparkly Crocs were the tell.

Posted by: Jak Sucio at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (jvt6t)

308 Down goes Joy Fraizer
Posted by: REDACTED

Howard, what should I use to clean the coffee off my phone screen?

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (J99NO)

309 That person in the bumble bee stripes looks like a lifeguard.

Is there a swimming pool on this show?
==
There has to be, right? I mean there are at least two trained whales.
Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. keeper of the no no list at March 03, 2022 04:14 PM (8oOr2)
***

Go to show.
Get on set.
Throw mackerel at hosts.
See who jumps.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (axyOa)

310 Do you think Maxine Waters hair is her own?

She's probably bald under that horrible wig.

Posted by: Jewells45 deplorablethug#FJB at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (nxdel)

311 I'm terrified of falls. Mainly because gravity is a bitch. My balance sucks fartclams. And i have a history going back to youth of injuries from falls. Ymmv. Having the balance of a two year old as a fat man isn't ideal.

Posted by: USNtakim deplorable still. at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (0OmEj)

312 282 220 215 There is no excuse. None.
Joe. If the blonde chick in the orange dress from yesterday told me I could do things with her; I might be in the audience.
Posted by: Archer at March 03, 2022 04:10 PM (gmo/4)
=========
I, uh, I still have that tab open.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)
============
You want open tabs? I'm thinking of painting this picture, so I'm saving it.

https://i.___ur.com/wlrEA4W.jpg

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (C3+aI)

313 303 The AL Senate passed Constitutional Carry today. The bill now goes back to the House for reconciliation. This is starting to look like a done deal.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (sWM8x)

It's a done deal, thankfully. Of course they waited until I'm about to leave. Buttholes.

Tennessee has CC already, thankfully.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (LKTKP)

314 312 You want open tabs? I'm thinking of painting this picture, so I'm saving it.

https://i.___ur.com/wlrEA4W.jpg
Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (C3+aI)

=========

One of my favorite pictures of Gemma.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (LvTSG)

315 Say a prayer for people who take care of elderly parents at home. No way one person can do it.
Posted by: dartist

After dad had 2 falls in hospice, we brought him back home. One person can't do it.

Posted by: Infidel at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (ou23q)

316 "If you hit your head ... go to the doctor. Because that will kill you."
Get a better doctor
----
"On the plus side the hosts are all" -- Yoda

Posted by: Spooky at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (iVtsQ)

317 Who does she think she is, Buster Keaton?

Posted by: wth at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (v0R5T)

318 @ParamountPics
To stand in solidarity with the people of the Ukraine, Paramount Pictures has made the decision to digitally remove Ensign Chekov from his appearances on all Star Trek television and cinematic releases. For those who own any physical media of Star Trek OS, or Star Trek I-VI, you may mail these to the address linked below, and we will supply you with the latest remastered versions (plus S&H) available April 1. We would further like to take the opportunity to thank the fans for their understanding and cooperation, and look forward to many more Star Trek franchises in the future. Trek On!
Posted by: Paramount Global at March 03, 2022 04:18 PM (wAnMi)
++++
This cannot be true, but I'll admit to considering it as possible until I got to the physical media piece.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (DU+/6)

319 The AL Senate passed Constitutional Carry today. The bill now goes back to the House for reconciliation. This is starting to look like a done deal.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (sWM8x)

That would be state #22 I think.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (P4LRL)

320 An appeasement tactic by gravity (My oldest enemy).

Posted by: DaveA at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (FhXTo)

321 And keep in mind that 288 is a call-back to when Ace called garrett gay in a main post. I realize that anyone who missed that might be super confused.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (DU+/6)

=========

I don't get it.
Teh JamesMadison
==
*pats couch*
You see James, when a man has special feeling for another man, they put on crocs and accessorize with messenger bags.
You See

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. Moron Explainer at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (pR11A)

322 Will be interesting if Tim Kaine runs again for his VA Senate seat - he has gone public as a Long Covid-er, although not one of the very serious ones. Then again, his is almost 2 years and counting...

tinyurl.com/2p9cvmak

Posted by: Nova local at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (exHjb)

323 I'm old and I believe there should be a mandatory retirement age for office holders at all levels.

It's getting way too big a spread between those who rule and those who are ruled. It does not lend well to harmony.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (XEtO0)

324 Daily Daddario:

https://i.___ur.com/G6ApHKo.jpg

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (LvTSG)

325 32 years later, I still cannot believe Douglas knocked out Tyson

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 03, 2022 04:20 PM (k6ntG)

326 Where do they film this piece of anti-male dreck? In NYC, or LA, or what?

(I know, someone's going to say "Mordor")

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:20 PM (txdEq)

327 https://tinyurl.com/56ja6nyz

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:20 PM (LvTSG)

328 So she went tits sideways?

Posted by: wth at March 03, 2022 04:20 PM (v0R5T)

329 I, uh, I still have that tab open.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)
------------------------------
So, how's about sharing with those of us that missed it?
Posted by: No One of Consequence at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (CAJOC)
=========

https://tinyurl.com/ye242mrv
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:16 PM (LvTSG)
***

those thighs would kill a mere mortal.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 04:21 PM (axyOa)

330 Whoopi rushed right over lol riggghhhttt.

The only thing she rushes over to is a buffet bar.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 03, 2022 04:21 PM (QRdjz)

331 At one tim im gur was funny and entertaining but of course the Left came along and turned it into a libtard hellhole.

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:21 PM (i29l6)

332 Down goes Behar!.....Down goes Behar!...

Posted by: Redenzo at March 03, 2022 04:21 PM (E7vND)

333 Moar banana peels plz.

Posted by: wth at March 03, 2022 04:21 PM (v0R5T)

334 Let's not rule out the clot shot just yet.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:15 PM (SH2Zi)

It's interesting that now dizziness, vision issues etc. are part of the accepted side effects. Makes me wonder how many people have been keeling over. We'll probably never know how many people blacked out while driving. At least until we get footage from a transit bus.

Posted by: clutch cargo - Now fortified with CPM-S90V at March 03, 2022 04:21 PM (wAnMi)

335 Welp, daily afternoon nausea is kicking in. Ugh.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:21 PM (ptqGC)

336 >>> There is no such thing as a female comedian.

Madeline Kahn, no? Lucille Ball?

Chrissie Mayr is a conservative/libertarian comedian and is pretty good. Plus she's very sex-positive and interviews a lot of women in the adult film industry on her podcast. She's talked about how her conservative views are not her whole persona but have gotten her black listed in comedy. She's part of Anthony Cumia's radio network and is a featured guest on a Friday Night Tights.

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:22 PM (+mkOR)

337 If, for some reason, ___ur doesn't work very well on your browser, here is the tinyurl verson.

https://tinyurl.com/ybmhyv5j

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:22 PM (C3+aI)

338 Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:17 PM (DU+/6)

garrets sparkly Crocs were the tell.
Posted by: Jak Sucio

i thought it was the spurs he has on his crocks? disn't we discuss this recently?

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (IJES/) - at March 03, 2022 04:22 PM (IJES/)

339 Whoopie looked like a walrus waddling towards a beached whale.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 03, 2022 04:22 PM (LKTKP)

340 Russia/Ukraine agree to humanitarian corridors and limited cease fires.

Ukraine gets refugees out. Russia get's gas, ammo, and food rations to the frontline.

Posted by: WisRich at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (G0vdT)

341 I never want this thread to end.

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (i29l6)

342 ?dickhammock? Just how many words does Pixy let you make up per week?

Posted by: DaveA at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (FhXTo)

343 So you're saying we still have about 24 hours of hope left to us, huh?

Heh...
Can you feel the love, Joy?

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (g6VYb)

344 326 Where do they film this piece of anti-male dreck? In NYC, or LA, or what?

(I know, someone's going to say "Mordor")

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:20 PM (txdEq)

TBF, Shelob didn't live IN Mordor......

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (mZOHK)

345 This cannot be true, but I'll admit to considering it as possible until I got to the physical media piece.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:19 PM (DU+/6)

LOL, no pulling a fast one on you!

Posted by: clutch cargo - Now fortified with CPM-S90V at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (wAnMi)

346 those thighs would kill a mere mortal.
==
well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. Heroic Sacrifice at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (odCk5)

347 Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 04:21 PM (axyOa)

Oh. My.

Whomever pulled me out of that would be proclaimed king of England. Then subsequently have the piss beaten out of them for interrupting my work.

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (nT2En)

348 Welp, daily afternoon nausea is kicking in. Ugh.

Yeah. Seeing the Hosts of The Biew in slo mo got me as well.

Feel better Jane!

Posted by: Jak Sucio at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (jvt6t)

349 It's not the chromosomes and hormones that should determine what an appropriate audience member of The View should be. It's the cerebrum. A minimally functioning one is key.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (aXxgO)

350 I coulda done that

easy

Posted by: MEGGERS at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (us2H3)

351
Why was it so important to them to get fragile old geezer on her feet instantly? If she broke something it could increase the damage. I guess they just thought it just didn't look good. Looked good to me, though. It would have looked even better if she'd laid there making croaking noises as the show went on without her. Just need to pan the camera up a little to get her out of the scene.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (AU9Gf)

352 There is no such thing as a female comedian.
*
Madeline Kahn, no? Lucille Ball?

Chrissie Mayr is a conservative/libertarian comedian and is pretty good. Plus she's very sex-positive and interviews a lot of women in the adult film industry on her podcast. . . .
Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022

***
I don't know if she's still in the biz, but Rita Rudner was funny without being sleazy or talking about her body parts. Gorgeous, too.

The word used to be "comedienne".

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (txdEq)

353 Whomever pulled me out of that would be proclaimed king of England. Then subsequently have the piss beaten out of them for interrupting my work.
Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (nT2En)
++++
Coronation and regicide on the same day. Efficient.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (DU+/6)

354 By the way, Melanie Phillips says the world has three more days of life left until the Biden junta administers the coup de grace blow.

So, drink up MFers.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (C3+aI)

355 Why was it so important to them to get fragile old geezer on her feet instantly? If she broke something it could increase the damage. I guess they just thought it just didn't look good.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (AU9Gf)

If she hadn't been stood back up she'd have been torn apart by scavengers in minutes.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (P4LRL)

356 Sunny Hostin's real name is Asunci�n Cummings

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (M+Lyo)

357 Thankfully my dad is still taking care of himself. so all I have to do is take care of the house, yard, horses, and oh yeah work. Getting sent to WFH due to covid panic was a blessing. I always thought I had to be in office to focus on work. When that was not an option I adapted quickly.

Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (3cGpq)

358 354 By the way, Melanie Phillips says the world has three more days of life left until the Biden junta administers the coup de grace blow.

So, drink up MFers.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (C3+aI)

Who?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (LKTKP)

359 Arguably a difference between a comic actress and a comedienne. There are certainly more good ones in the former group than the latter.

Joan Rivers is the first who pops into my head as a truly great comedienne.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (dfRN6)

360 Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (DU+/6)

I dont play when it comes to my work.

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (nT2En)

361 358 354 By the way, Melanie Phillips says the world has three more days of life left until the Biden junta administers the coup de grace blow.

So, drink up MFers.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (C3+aI)

Who?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (LKTKP)

=========

Someone on the INTERNET!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (LvTSG)

362 Say a prayer for people who take care of elderly parents at home. No way one person can do it.
Posted by: dartist

After dad had 2 falls in hospice, we brought him back home. One person can't do it.
Posted by: Infidel

Prayers up. Stay strong and keep plugged in here. Speaking from experience, laughter helps immensely

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (J99NO)

363 Wow, that's too bad.

Posted by: a.moron at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (tu3iY)

364 I don't know if she's still in the biz, but Rita Rudner was funny without being sleazy or talking about her body parts. Gorgeous, too.

The word used to be "comedienne".
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (txdEq)

Hell, even as a kid I remember George and Gracie Burns. she was awesome.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (axyOa)

365 Newt was on with Hemmer and Perino the day after SOTU ... Newt was good, Perino looked nice, but she was higher than Hemmer ... like she was sitting on a phonebook .. or two.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (Cus5s)

366 By the way, Melanie Phillips says the world has three more days of life left until the Biden junta administers the coup de grace blow.

==
I never liked her on One Day At A Time.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. commentator at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (+2PfR)

367 Down goes Behar, down goes Behar.....or was it Babar the elephant ?

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (M+Lyo)

368 Joan Rivers is the first who pops into my head as a truly great comedienne.

Posted by: Any Schumer at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (jvt6t)

369 To be honest if she smashed her noggin nothing was in danger. Between her hard head and empty brain cavity...

Posted by: USNtakim deplorable still. at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (0OmEj)

370 Recall that I said physical comedians. That's pratfalls, acting roles that are funny, canned dialogue. Lucille Ball was a fantastic physical comedian. She could say a word or two and do it in such a way to make everyone laugh. Same as pratfalls and acting.

Not a monologue comedian that is a stand up comedian. There are some that claim it but they are very one dimensional and can't deliver a joke. They mostly use put downs of men mostly.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (XEtO0)

371 The phrase "ass over teakettle" does not get used enough.

Posted by: fd at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (vrz2I)

372 I dont play when it comes to my work.
Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (nT2En)
++++
Thankfully for my own safety, the odds of me interrupting your work are vanishingly small.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (DU+/6)

373 There is no possible excuse that a man can provide for being in The View's audience that has any chance of being acceptable.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:04 PM (DU+/6)

Penance?

Posted by: Tofer732 at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (GcxM3)

374 354 By the way, Melanie Phillips says the world has three more days of life left until the Biden junta administers the coup de grace blow.

So, drink up MFers.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (C3+aI)
--------

Help a fellow moron. Who's Ms. Phillips.

Posted by: WisRich at March 03, 2022 04:28 PM (G0vdT)

375 >>>Someone on the INTERNET!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (LvTSG)

PANIC!

Posted by: Airplane at March 03, 2022 04:28 PM (QYPq3)

376 Who is Melanie Phillips?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:28 PM (DU+/6)

377 Who was phone?

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 03, 2022 04:28 PM (nT2En)

378 Comedian? Well, she did make me laugh this time. Do it again and I promise to laugh even harder.

Posted by: Fat Joe-NAH of Krypton at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (V5K0E)

379 375 >>>Someone on the INTERNET!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (LvTSG)

PANIC!
Posted by: Airplane at March 03, 2022 04:28 PM (QYPq3)

=========

"Don't Panic."
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (LvTSG)

380 By the way, Melanie Phillips says the world has three more days of life left until the Biden junta administers the coup de grace blow.
So, drink up MFers.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:25 PM (C3+aI)
Who?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (LKTKP)
=========
Someone on the INTERNET!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

if she's from greenwood, la...she was my first.

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (IJES/) - at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (IJES/)

381 On the plus side for me, if Kremlin Vlad lets fly with the nukes, I will be dead in the first wave. I won't have to worry about it!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (DU+/6)

382 PANIC!
Posted by: Airplane at March 03, 2022 04:28 PM (QYPq3)

"Assume crash positions!"

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (dfRN6)

383 Prayers up. Stay strong and keep plugged in here. Speaking from experience, laughter helps immensely
Posted by: Sock Monkey

Thanks sock, it's been a few years. There were 3 of us here and home visits from hospice. He lasted less that a week. I think he was glad to be home.

Posted by: Infidel at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (ou23q)

384 I just St. Louis spareribs, collard greens, and fried okra for delivery.

My husband needs feeding when he gets home, and I'll hopefully feel better in a while.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (ptqGC)

385 I don't know if she's still in the biz, but Rita Rudner was funny without being sleazy or talking about her body parts.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (txdEq)

Rita Rudner and Steven Wright both use(d) the same brilliant delivery tactic -- lethargy. They could fill a set with fewer jokes than other comedians.

Posted by: The Mantastic Tor at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (dwzrA)

386 377 Who was phone?
Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 03, 2022 04:28 PM (nT2En)

========

I love lamp.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (LvTSG)

387 I know this is fake news because they describe her as a "Comedian" what roll was she funny in again Hocus Pocus? Oh that was Mitler I think.

Posted by: Picric at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (13tTk)

388 Thank God it wasn't Whoopsie or the whole building would've gone!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Proprietor of the Outrage Outlet at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (FVME7)

389 Who?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 03, 2022 04:26 PM (LKTKP)
============
Brit columnist. Hates Joey Choo-Choo.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (C3+aI)

390 Who is Melanie Phillips?
==
HELLO

One Day at a Time

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. commentator at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (wKqIi)

391 ordered. Dammit.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:30 PM (ptqGC)

392 Now there is one I forgot; Joan Rivers. Probably the only female comedian.

And of course I don't know what's out there now since I don't spend time on tv or going to comedy clubs.

I know i'd get flak cause of it being a overlarge statement but generally I think it's true; very few if any female comedians.

You can tell by who the headliners are at places where those are at a premium such as casinos.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:30 PM (XEtO0)

393 Newt was on with Hemmer and Perino the day after SOTU ... Newt was good, Perino looked nice, but she was higher than Hemmer ... like she was sitting on a phonebook .. or two.
Posted by: illiniwek at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (Cus5s)

Booster from Denny's

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at March 03, 2022 04:30 PM (M+Lyo)

394 @361

>>Someone on the INTERNET!

Yeah, but that internet person may be right seeing as the masterminds are casually teetering towards Global Thermonuclear War.

F***ing War Games was not a how to manual.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at March 03, 2022 04:30 PM (+tA4N)

395 Ms. Phillips as far as I can see is a British journalist who writes for...The Guardian?

Oh, you mean she's a Loon.

Posted by: WisRich at March 03, 2022 04:30 PM (G0vdT)

396 Joan Rivers was great. Gone too soon, right after telling a reporter we had our first gay president (Obama) and tranny FLOTUS.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2022 04:31 PM (ptqGC)

397 On the plus side for me, if Kremlin Vlad lets fly with the nukes, I will be dead in the first wave. I won't have to worry about it!
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (DU+/6)

I'll survive the initial strike but won't have time to avoid the lethal fallout. but I'll have enough time to fire up a last Cohiba and pour up some of the 15 year Redbreast.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 04:31 PM (axyOa)

398 Phyllis Diller

Posted by: Gilbert Gottfried at March 03, 2022 04:31 PM (ufFY8)

399 Now there is one I forgot; Joan Rivers. Probably the only female comedian.

no one loves me anymore

- zombie phyllis diller

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (IJES/) - at March 03, 2022 04:31 PM (IJES/)

400 387 I know this is fake news because they describe her as a "Comedian" what roll was she funny in again Hocus Pocus? Oh that was Mitler I think.
Posted by: Picric at March 03, 2022 04:29 PM (13tTk

That roll on the view this morning was pretty funny

Posted by: Tofer732 at March 03, 2022 04:32 PM (GcxM3)

401 slight bounce on the landing. The judges will deduct points for that.

Posted by: Busted Can of Biscuits at March 03, 2022 04:32 PM (2cfUo)

402 If Joyless Behar bites the big one in the next 24 hours I will not mourn. Might even think about posting her most vile quotes on Twatter.

Nah, she would not be worth it.

Posted by: Scuba_Dude at March 03, 2022 04:32 PM (WsJuq)

403 So. How's the betting going?

Russia or US shoots first?

Does it become world wide or limited?

Will it be on CNN or Lifetime.

Posted by: jakee308 at March 03, 2022 04:32 PM (XEtO0)

404 Carol Bernnett.

Posted by: Infidel at March 03, 2022 04:32 PM (ou23q)

405 It's true, there are few comediennes today. Mostly because people either don't dare or don't know how to be funny. There are comic actresses, or used to be: Judy Holliday, Jane Withers, Valerie Harper, Rhea Perlman, Harriet Sansom Harris (she used to play Frasier's agent), Marian Mercer -- a long list, old and new.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:32 PM (txdEq)

406 think he was glad to be home.
Posted by: Infidel

Wouldn't trade the 2 1/2 years my father was with us for any earthly treasure. Your doing the right thing.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 04:33 PM (J99NO)

407 That was like a sack of wet cement. No bounce.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. commentator at March 03, 2022 04:33 PM (8oOr2)

408 "Say a prayer for people who take care of elderly parents at home. No way one person can do it."

I took care of my Mom by myself ... she weighed about 135, and I could lift into and out of wheel chair or vehicle OK. Only had to lift her off the floor once.

I also got a Hoyer lift, which nurses aides sometimes use to move heavier people. But we never used it ... it is handy now for heavy thinks like my wood stove ... ha.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 03, 2022 04:33 PM (Cus5s)

409 79yr old and falls.

Typical progression used to be:
broken hip-->hospital-->pneumonia-->morgue

Lately it's been:
broken hip-->hospital COVID ward-->pneumonia-->COVID!-->morgue

Posted by: Roy at March 03, 2022 04:33 PM (Pj9mr)

410 342 ?dickhammock? Just how many words does Pixy let you make up per week?

Posted by: DaveA at March 03, 2022 04:23 PM (FhXTo)

--------

The internet may have Urban Dictionary, but Ace has created his own Bourbon Dictionary.

A wordsmith for our time ...move over Bill Shakespeare, tell Chas Dickens the news.

Posted by: ShainS -- Honk Semper Tyrannis! at March 03, 2022 04:33 PM (G/vKh)

411 >>> The word used to be "comedienne".
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (txdEq)

After Betty White died I watched her special on Netflix. I laughed more heartily during that special than I did in watching several modern sitcoms!

Twitter woke mob tried to cancel her after she died by claiming every old white lady her age must be racist. Glad the special showed she was quite the opposite. Idiots.

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:33 PM (+mkOR)

412 Joan Rivers? Ball buster. She was like a male comedian in a female body.

She was awesome. Don Rickles awesome. But with estrogen.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:34 PM (aXxgO)

413 Hillary or Joy ? Who did it better ?

Posted by: Busted Can of Biscuits at March 03, 2022 04:34 PM (2cfUo)

414 I see people are remembering Phyllis Diller and Joan Rivers.

Joan: "Elizabeth Taylor is a woman being kept alive by a machine. A refrigerator!"

Phyllis (recounting a trip on a very cut-rate airline): "You know how some women get those little crow's feet around their eyes? This [stewardess] had mastodon tracks!"

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:34 PM (txdEq)

415 Phyllis Diller and Marth Raye.
Raye spent a lot of time in WW 2, Korea and Viet Nam as a nurse.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022 04:34 PM (axyOa)

416 At least Mary Tyler Moore was HOT

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at March 03, 2022 04:34 PM (M+Lyo)

417 Not sure if she's a comedienne, per se, but Gal Gadot always brings a smile to my face

Posted by: 496 at March 03, 2022 04:35 PM (VJsqe)

418 >>> Newt was good, Perino looked nice, but she was higher than Hemmer ... like she was sitting on a phonebook .. or two.
Posted by: illiniwek at March 03, 2022 04:27 PM (Cus5s)

She got to borrow Greg Gutfeld's kiddie booster seat?

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:35 PM (+mkOR)

419 I know a lot of very funny women. They're just awful at telling jokes.

Posted by: ... at March 03, 2022 04:36 PM (GftG2)

420 Ms. Phillips as far as I can see is a British journalist who writes for...The Guardian?

Oh, you mean she's a Loon.
Posted by: WisRich at March 03, 2022 04:30 PM (G0vdT)
============
Red pilled by the Obama presidency. Now writes mainly for the Times, I think.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:36 PM (C3+aI)

421 Hillary or Joy ? Who did it better ?
Posted by: Busted Can of Biscuits at March 03, 2022 04:34 PM (2cfUo)

Hillary. Behar kept both shoes on and didn't get chucked into the back of a van like a side of beef.

Assuming we're using the same definition of "better."

Also, Behar probably never had dozens of people whacked.

Posted by: The Mantastic Tor at March 03, 2022 04:36 PM (dwzrA)

422 Phyllis Diller.

Posted by: Bosk at March 03, 2022 04:37 PM (x6uUk)

423 but Gal Gadot always brings a smile

What great thighs.

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at March 03, 2022 04:37 PM (ufFY8)

424 Quit threatening

Posted by: Mean Tweets at March 03, 2022 04:37 PM (BOJAx)

425 Phyllis Diller

Posted by: Amy Schumer at March 03, 2022 04:37 PM (ufFY8)

426 Should I feel bad, because I am laughing my a** off...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (J8ILO)

427 I saw Phyllis Diller perform at Magic Mountain. She was very funny.

Posted by: Darth Randall at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (3TihK)

428 Who is Melanie Phillips?
==
HELLO

One Day at a Time
Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. commentator at March 03, 2022

***
"Melanie" doesn't sound right. The actress on ODaaT was the daughter of Michelle Phillips from The Mamas and the Papas.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (txdEq)

429 407 That was like a sack of wet cement. No bounce.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. commentator at March 03, 2022 04:33 PM (8oOr2)

--------

Dead Bat Bounce.

Posted by: ShainS -- Honk Semper Tyrannis! at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (G/vKh)

430 *pulls shirt up*

WHY ARE YOU THREATENING ME!!!!!

Posted by: cornholio at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (AMMRA)

431 Ask me for no more proof of my existence. I thought Kate Upton would have sufficed.

Posted by: GOD at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (raeI7)

432 It's Mackenzie Phillips

Posted by: Mean Tweets at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (BOJAx)

433 Who bitch this is?

Posted by: dartist at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (+ya+t)

434 431 Ask me for no more proof of my existence. I thought Kate Upton would have sufficed.
Posted by: GOD at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (raeI7)

========

You had me at beer.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:38 PM (LvTSG)

435 Who is Melanie Phillips?
==
HELLO

One Day at a Time
Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. commentator at March 03, 2022

***
"Melanie" doesn't sound right. The actress on ODaaT was the daughter of Michelle Phillips from The Mamas and the Papas.
==
That's the joke.

It was McKenzie.

Posted by: cornholio at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (AMMRA)

436 First smearing shit on people and then talk of Joy Behar's fart clam? What did we do to Ace?

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (iDcra)

437 If I take a nap will someone wake me if a noodle arrives?

Posted by: Skip at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (2JoB8)

438 MacKenzie Phillips.

Coked out of her mind, I believe

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (ufFY8)

439 but Gal Gadot always brings a smile

What great thighs.
Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at March 03, 2022 04:37 PM (ufFY

One of the good things about the 'Death on the Nile' remake.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (XvPQV)

440 "NEW YORK, NEW YORK!"

Posted by: whitecollar redneck at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (F+eiz)

441 "She got to borrow Greg Gutfeld's kiddie booster seat?"

ha, yeah, probably.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (Cus5s)

442 If I take a nap will someone wake me if a noodle arrives?

Posted by: Skip at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (2JoB

We got you.

Posted by: Bob from NSA at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (SH2Zi)

443 439 One of the good things about the 'Death on the Nile' remake.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (XvPQV)

========

I'm gonna find a way to go see The Batman this weekend.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (LvTSG)

444 Jukin the Deplorable: "...What did we do to Ace?"

He only does this to those he loves.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (aXxgO)

445 Phyllis Diller and Marth Raye.
Raye spent a lot of time in WW 2, Korea and Viet Nam as a nurse.
Posted by: Diogenes at March 03, 2022

***
Martha Raye! Yes! And Kaye Ballard. I saw her do a bit on an early Laugh-in, "I Just Kissed My Nose Goodnight." Hilarious.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (txdEq)

446 Beer was Moses, a handsy lush if there ever was one. And quite the show-off.

Posted by: GOD at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (raeI7)

447 444 Jukin the Deplorable: "...What did we do to Ace?"

He only does this to those he loves.
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (aXxgO)

========

It's hard to imagine the things he does to garrett.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (LvTSG)

448 I'm gonna find a way to go see The Batman this weekend.
==
Spoiler alert

Batman is gender confused.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. saw the dailies at March 03, 2022 04:41 PM (2wvh5)

449 I want to care about Joy Behar, but that would interfere with my vacation plans.

Posted by: IronDave at March 03, 2022 04:41 PM (k3crU)

450 >>> 436 First smearing shit on people and then talk of Joy Behar's fart clam? What did we do to Ace? Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (iDcra)

Now we know why Ace has insomnia. "Can't sleep, Joy Behar's clam will eat me.."

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:41 PM (+mkOR)

451 Phyllis Diller looked great in crocks.

https://tinyurl.com/2p9dmttz

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:41 PM (C3+aI)

452 I'm gonna find a way to go see The Batman this weekend.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (LvTSG)

Block out a LOT of time and don't drink much during the flick.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:42 PM (XvPQV)

453 Dana still giving Jasper peanut butter, or did the old dog cross the Rainbow Bridge?

Haven't watched in a while but it looks like she had work done.
She was cute, now she is plastic.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 04:42 PM (ufFY8)

454 452 I'm gonna find a way to go see The Batman this weekend.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:40 PM (LvTSG)

Block out a LOT of time and don't drink much during the flick.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:42 PM (XvPQV)

========

I saw The Return of the King 8 times in theaters.

*cracks knuckles*

I know what I'm doing.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:42 PM (LvTSG)

455 MacKenzie Phillips.

Coked out of her mind, I believe
Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022

***
MacKenzie! That was it. Valerie Bertinelli got her start on that show too. And Valerie can be funny, along with their co-stars on Hot in Cleveland, Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:42 PM (txdEq)

456
Hillary. Behar kept both shoes on and didn't get chucked face down, head first into the back of a van like a side of beef.

added my favorite details

Posted by: AltonJackson at March 03, 2022 04:43 PM (DUIap)

457 I saw The Return of the King 8 times in theaters.

*cracks knuckles*

I know what I'm doing.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:42 PM (LvTSG)

Let me know how The Batman compares to The Return of the King

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:43 PM (XvPQV)

458 It's hard to imagine the things he does to garrett.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison,

I can imagine a lot. I mean, A LOT! More than you think, A lot.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 03, 2022 04:44 PM (Vxu+H)

459 Wolfus Aurelius: "Valerie Bertinelli got her start on that show too. And Valerie can be funny, along with their co-stars on Hot in Cleveland, Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick."

She could be as unfunny as she wants. I'd probably still watch it.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:44 PM (aXxgO)

460 Toast some bread and while it's hot rub a garlic clove on it and some butter. Maybe some Parmesan would make it a meal.

Posted by: dartist at March 03, 2022 04:44 PM (+ya+t)

461 The chick in the bumble bee dress should have done the universe a favor and gutter stomped her while she was down.

Posted by: observer at March 03, 2022 04:44 PM (hHyA1)

462 456
Hillary. Behar kept both shoes on and didn't get chucked face down, head first into the back of a van like a side of beef.

That entire sentence causes me to giggle like a ten year old girl.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 04:45 PM (ufFY8)

463 457 Let me know how The Batman compares to The Return of the King
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:43 PM (XvPQV)

==========

But first, I shall compare and contrast Seven Samurai with Epic Movie.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:45 PM (LvTSG)

464 Why was it so important to them to get fragile old geezer on her feet instantly? If she broke something it could increase the damage.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM

A neighbor ranches bison. When it's time to slaughter one, you have to shoot it in the head, and make an instant kill. If you do, the other bison will come over, sniff it and mill around, and then disperse.

If you don't, the other bison will gather 'round and stomp it to death, which pretty much destroys its value for both meat and hide.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 03, 2022 04:45 PM (a3Q+t)

465 Fox News' Sean Hannity suggests NATO should launch a strike on the 40-mile-long Russian convoy headed towards Kyiv.

He says members state should deny it so Putin wouldn't know who to retaliate against.

One more reason to completely boycott Fox.

Posted by: Capital Eff at March 03, 2022 04:45 PM (GYllL)

466 I don't know if she's still in the biz, but Rita Rudner was funny without being sleazy or talking about her body parts.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM (txdEq)

Oh, that's not true at all!
Literally, every single joke I told was either about my pussy or my fartclam.

Well, okay. A few about my boobs cause they had that cross-eyed nipple thing going on.

I was just good at disguising it for TV, but yep, pussy, boobs, fartclam. That was it

They used to call me Filthy Rita. Redd Foxx wouldn't share a stage with me because I was just so nasty.

Filthy Rita. That's me!

Posted by: Rita Rudner at March 03, 2022 04:45 PM (OMayC)

467 443 I'm gonna find a way to go see The Batman this weekend.

that's the one where the penguin tries to dehydrate the un, right? i especially liked the bit with the bomb.

Posted by: Kulak Anachronda, behind the Newsom curtain at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (sGtp+)

468 I remember Phyllis Diller on those Sid and Marty Kroft nutty kids shows, also on Scooby Doo cartoons

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (M+Lyo)

469 Hillary. Behar kept both shoes on and didn't get chucked face down, head first into the back of a van like a side of beef.
==
Memories. Sweet Memories.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. misty water colored memories at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (MQeb9)

470 and God and Satan flipped a coin to see who would get her soul. The coin landed on its edge and they both breathed a sigh of relief.

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (Ynyl9)

471
I know what I'm doing.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

Sledge Hammer!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (63Dwl)

472 467 443 I'm gonna find a way to go see The Batman this weekend.

that's the one where the penguin tries to dehydrate the un, right? i especially liked the bit with the bomb.
Posted by: Kulak Anachronda, behind the Newsom curtain at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (sGtp+)

========

It's the Bat Shark Repellent Spray that spoke to me most. So much symbolism!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (LvTSG)

473 Too bad she couldn't have been talking about how much God loves her, too.

Posted by: Axeman at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (S5d3L)

474 Why was it so important to them to get fragile old geezer on her feet instantly? If she broke something it could increase the damage.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 03, 2022 04:24 PM

A neighbor ranches bison. When it's time to slaughter one, you have to shoot it in the head, and make an instant kill. If you do, the other bison will come over, sniff it and mill around, and then disperse.

If you don't, the other bison will gather 'round and stomp it to death, which pretty much destroys its value for both meat and hide.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 03, 2022 04:45 PM (a3Q+t)

lol

Posted by: Bob from NSA at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (SH2Zi)

475 465 Fox News' Sean Hannity suggests NATO should launch a strike on the 40-mile-long Russian convoy headed towards Kyiv.

Quite different than Tucker

Posted by: It's me donna at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (J8ILO)

476 The chick in the bumble bee dress should have done the universe a favor and gutter stomped her while she was down.
Posted by: observer at March 03, 2022 04:44 PM (hHyA1)

Like the printer in Office Space.

WTF is PC Load Letter?

Posted by: Michael Bolton at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (ufFY8)

477 >>> 439 One of the good things about the 'Death on the Nile' remake.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at March 03, 2022 04:39 PM (XvPQV)

In the new Disney live action Snow White, she is going to be the wicked queen who is jealous of Snow White's beauty. I looked at the actress playing Snow... yeah I'm sorry but in no fantasy universe is she prettier than Gal. To be fair few are.

Between recasting dwarves as magical creatures to not offend Tyrion Lannister, and casting a skin as white as snow princess as a Latina (sorry Latinx actor of color), that movie is going to be a woke mess.

Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (+mkOR)

478 One more reason to completely boycott Fox.
Posted by: Capital Eff at March 03, 2022 04:45 PM (GYllL)
================

Mitt Romney suggested we shoot down Russian jets. Should we boycott the GOP too?

Not that I'm against that.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (C3+aI)

479 I'm gonna find a way to go see The Batman this weekend.
==
Spoiler alert

Batman is gender confused.
Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. saw the dailies at March 03, 2022 04:41 PM (2wvh5)

Am not.

Posted by: Fat Batclam at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (v0R5T)

480 >>>Too bad she couldn't have been talking about how much God loves her, too.

Posted by: Axeman at March 03, 2022 04:46 PM (S5d3L)

Hey man, she went down on her own. That's even worse than me having to push her.

Posted by: God at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM (QYPq3)

481 477 Between recasting dwarves as magical creatures to not offend Tyrion Lannister, and casting a skin as white as snow princess as a Latina (sorry Latinx actor of color), that movie is going to be a woke mess.
Posted by: LizLem at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (+mkOR)

========

I still like Snow White and the Huntsman. It's not great, but it's entertaining pseudo-high fantasy.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, learning Bushido with Kurosawa at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM (LvTSG)

482 It's hard to imagine the things he does to garrett.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison,

I can imagine a lot. I mean, A LOT! More than you think, A lot.
Posted by: Madamemayhem

Garrett must wear a plate carrier with level III body armor every time he ventures into the grey boxes.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM (J99NO)

483 A neighbor ranches bison. When it's time to slaughter one, you have to shoot it in the head, and make an instant kill. If you do, the other bison will come over, sniff it and mill around, and then disperse.

If you don't, the other bison will gather 'round and stomp it to death, which pretty much destroys its value for both meat and hide.
==
So they're democrats. Got it.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. animal husbandry is not a literal term at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM (AMMRA)

484 >>>It's hard to imagine the things he does to garrett.

>Not to mention garrett's mom's fartclam.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM (PEbbU)

485 >>>Mitt Romney suggested we shoot down Russian jets. Should we boycott the GOP too?

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (C3+aI)

Again, I was under the impression we were already doing this.

Posted by: In Reel Life (yes, dummy, on purpose) at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM (QYPq3)

486 >>469 Hillary. Behar kept both shoes on and didn't get chucked face down, head first into the back of a van like a side of beef.
==
Memories. Sweet Memories.
Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. misty water colored memories

I read there was a person that would continually glue down a pair of shoes on the curb right at where they pulled the beast out of hers. I don't know if continues to this day or not.

Posted by: Capital Eff at March 03, 2022 04:49 PM (GYllL)

487 I wonder if the evil old whore felt the fires of Hell on her fat ass for a moment.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at March 03, 2022 04:49 PM (eJn7u)

488 Quit talking shit about garrett!

We have a date tonight and I want him feeling frisky.

Posted by: David French at March 03, 2022 04:49 PM (hHyA1)

489 Gilda Radner was always good, back in the days when SNL was a comedy show.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:50 PM (C3+aI)

490 It's funny because she is fat!

Posted by: Shaftoe at March 03, 2022 04:50 PM (gS/r9)

491 "Fox News' Sean Hannity suggests NATO should launch a strike on the 40-mile-long Russian convoy headed towards Kyiv."

The convoy is stalled precisely because the Ukrainians targeted the front and rear portions. Now they can't go forwards or backwards. They also can't get off the road due to the muddy conditions. They also can't be resupplied, and are reportedly running out of gas and food. Moving that many men takes a lot of logistical support. Add to that ops to harass and take out other portions. The Ukrainians are not really that dumb.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 04:50 PM (VpIIl)

492 With the cold air from Tucker and the hot air from Hannity, a thunderstorm is going to develop between 8:59PM and 9:01PM EST.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 04:50 PM (aXxgO)

493 Garrett must wear a plate carrier with level III body armor every time he ventures into the grey boxes.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM (J99NO)

And matching crocs.

Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at March 03, 2022 04:50 PM (SH2Zi)

494 Garrett must wear a plate carrier with level III body armor every time he ventures into the grey boxes.
Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM

I have noticed that garrett is often less than respectful toward Ace.

I mean, even more than is normal for the Commentariat.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (a3Q+t)

495 I live alone now except for my dog. I am seriously thinking of getting one of the life alert things as I am not 29 anymore. Anyone here have one?

I'm afraid of karma for laughing at that old lady in the commercial for years.

Posted by: Cheri at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (oiNtH)

496 that's the one where the penguin tries to dehydrate the un, right? i especially liked the bit with the bomb.

One of my favorite lines ever. "(sigh) Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Posted by: Oddbob at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (nfrXX)

497 476 The chick in the bumble bee dress should have done the universe a favor and gutter stomped her while she was down.
Posted by: observer at March 03, 2022 04:44 PM (hHyA1)

Like the printer in Office Space.

WTF is PC Load Letter?
Posted by: Michael Bolton at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (ufFY

---------
One of the few times I've enjoyed a rap song.

Posted by: ShainS -- Honk Semper Tyrannis! at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (G/vKh)

498 Yes, there is a difference between comedienne, as in standup, and comic actress. Goldie Hawn was the latter; Phyllis Diller and Joan Rivers were the former.

Mrs. Wolfus No. 2 would probably have been good at the standup comedy routine. She was not afraid to make comic faces, a la Julia Louis Dreyfus, and could tell a joke. Imagine if Jan Smithers had had confidence on stage and could rattle off funny lines like Joan Rivers.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (txdEq)

499 Its like I don't even know you people anymore.

An extended discussion of great female comediennes and nobody mentions Schumer's niece.

Posted by: Busted Fartclam Jr. disappointed at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (+2PfR)

500 It's funny because she is fat!
Posted by: Shaftoe at March 03, 2022 04:50 PM (gS/r9)

Not fat enough to bounce though.

*grows sadly pensive over missed opportunity to see Behar bounce comically*

Posted by: naturalfake at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (OMayC)

501 Good to see she's practicing b the disembarkment process for Air Pinochet.

Posted by: 2009Refugee at March 03, 2022 04:52 PM (ViKHK)

502 I heard that they are showing The Batman for free to all student at The Ohio State University.

Posted by: Roy at March 03, 2022 04:52 PM (Pj9mr)

503 One of my favorite lines ever. "(sigh) Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb."
Posted by: Oddbob at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (nfrXX)
=================
Oddbob is now not allowed within five miles of the Capital.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:52 PM (C3+aI)

504 It's funny because she is fat!
Posted by: Shaftoe at March 03, 2022 04:50 PM (gS/r9)

Not fat enough to bounce though.

*grows sadly pensive over missed opportunity to see Behar bounce comically*

Posted by: naturalfake at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (OMayC)

She is not one of ours.

Posted by: Weebles, Inc. at March 03, 2022 04:52 PM (SH2Zi)

505 nood

Posted by: SturmToddler (8D42x) at March 03, 2022 04:52 PM (8D42x)

506 Hey man, she went down on her own. That's even worse than me having to push her.
Posted by: God at March 03, 2022 04:48 PM (QYPq3)
---
Wait. Are we talking about Kamala or Bay-er?

Posted by: Axeman at March 03, 2022 04:53 PM (S5d3L)

507 And matching crocs.
Posted by: flounder,

Somewhere Garrett's ears are burning.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at March 03, 2022 04:53 PM (J99NO)

508 Good to see she's practicing b the disembarkment process for Air Pinochet.

Posted by: 2009Refugee at March 03, 2022 04:52 PM (ViKHK)

I almost spewed on the monitor, then died in a coughing fit.

Posted by: Weebles, Inc. at March 03, 2022 04:53 PM (SH2Zi)

509 I have noticed that garrett is often less than respectful toward Ace.

I mean, even more than is normal for the Commentariat.
==
TBF, being savagely rogered by an ewok without so much as a reach around, will wear on a "man's" nerves.

Posted by: Rubio's garbage at March 03, 2022 04:53 PM (c777g)

510 >>>
The convoy is stalled precisely because the Ukrainians targeted the front and rear portions. Now they can't go forwards or backwards. They also can't get off the road due to the muddy conditions. They also can't be resupplied, and are reportedly running out of gas and food. Moving that many men takes a lot of logistical support. Add to that ops to harass and take out other portions. The Ukrainians are not really that dumb.
Posted by: Marcus T at March 03, 2022 04:50 PM (VpIIl)

Russia forgot not to fight a war on Russia in the winter. Hah!

Posted by: Zombie Hitler at March 03, 2022 04:54 PM (+mkOR)

511 I heard that they are showing The Batman for free to all student at ~~The~~ THE Ohio State University.
Posted by: Roy at March 03, 2022 04:52 PM

FIFY, for compliance with the AoSHQ Style Guide.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 03, 2022 04:54 PM (a3Q+t)

512 As somebody said above, I wanted this thread to go on forever. Ah, well. Sic transit gloria.

(which today probably means "Gloria threw up on the bus")

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 03, 2022 04:54 PM (txdEq)

513 So Bill being introduced banning Russian oil and gas from US.

-Coke Bear and Manchen are sponsors. Makes sense.
-However, they don't ask for increased domestic production. Doesn't make sense.
-Nancy is for all for it. Makes sense. She's a zealot and no price is to high for oil/gas.
- WH and Schumer throwing cold water for now. Doesn't make sense. Their zealots too but I guess reelection matters.
-Ms. Lindsey is a co-sponsor as well. Makes sense. He doesn't give a f*ck how much gas is as long as he can go to war.

Posted by: WisRich at March 03, 2022 04:54 PM (G0vdT)

514 I heard that they are showing The Batman for free to all student at The Ohio State University.
Posted by: Roy at March 03, 2022 04:52 PM (Pj9mr)
=====================
The villain wears maize and blue?

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:54 PM (C3+aI)

515 One of the few times I've enjoyed a rap song.
Posted by: ShainS -- Honk Semper Tyrannis! at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (G/vKh)

The part that makes me laugh the hardest in that scene is when they are done, and they have to hold Michael Bolton back when he tries to continue. Just a tiny bit of genius there.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 04:55 PM (ufFY8)

516 I have noticed that garrett is often less than respectful toward Ace.

I mean, even more than is normal for the Commentariat.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (a3Q+t)

-------

Seems mutual. I can't tell if it's stick or animus. I try to imagine the former, with those two hanging out and having a beer now and then.

Posted by: ShainS -- Honk Semper Tyrannis! at March 03, 2022 04:55 PM (G/vKh)

517 Fox News' Sean Hannity suggests NATO should launch a strike on the 40-mile-long Russian convoy headed towards Kyiv.
----
Read something that Ukes still have air power. Wonder what's up with that. Could easily massacre the lot it seems.

Posted by: dartist at March 03, 2022 04:55 PM (+ya+t)

518 I have noticed that garrett is often less than respectful toward Ace.

I mean, even more than is normal for the Commentariat.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 03, 2022 04:51 PM (a3Q+t)

-------

Seems mutual. I can't tell if it's schtick or animus. I try to imagine the former (and them razzing each other here), with those two hanging out and having a beer now and then.

Posted by: ShainS -- Honk Semper Tyrannis! at March 03, 2022 04:56 PM (dfgwz)

519 Hannity is a fukkin idiot. But you knew that.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at March 03, 2022 04:56 PM (eJn7u)

520 I didn't have to watch the video to know that Whoopi would be the last to get to her.

Posted by: Scott M at March 03, 2022 04:56 PM (7EnFR)

521 "cleaning your house when you have kids is like shoveling the snow while it's still snowing"
(Phyllis Diller)

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at March 03, 2022 04:56 PM (Ynyl9)

522 The part that makes me laugh the hardest in that scene is when they are done, and they have to hold Michael Bolton back when he tries to continue. Just a tiny bit of genius there.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 03, 2022 04:55 PM (ufFY

---------

Absolutely. Really wish they had made a sequel ... but probably better off not

Posted by: ShainS -- Honk Semper Tyrannis! at March 03, 2022 04:58 PM (dfgwz)

523 i had no idea Joy Behar was that old.

Posted by: deti at March 03, 2022 04:59 PM (C7e3k)

524 speaking of hilarity, saw this header this on twitchy:

Amy Schumer joining Hillary Clinton and Speaker Nancy Pelosi for virtual International Women's Day celebration

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at March 03, 2022 05:04 PM (Ynyl9)

525 >>>>Mitt Romney suggested we shoot down Russian jets. Should we boycott the GOP too?

Posted by: Huck Follywood, Break The Teachers Unions at March 03, 2022 04:47 PM (C3+aI)

Perhaps we could load him into a pumpkin gun and shoot him at the jets?

Posted by: Capital Eff at March 03, 2022 05:10 PM (GYllL)

526 Just hoping that Vegetable Joe invites her to fly on AF1. They can reanimate McRino and let him pilot.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at March 03, 2022 05:11 PM (qs/P1)

527 518 I have noticed that garrett is often less than respectful toward Ace.

I mean, even more than is normal for the Commentariat.

Someone banging your mom often breeds resentment.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at March 03, 2022 05:13 PM (qs/P1)

528 ShainS: "Seems mutual. I can't tell if it's stick or animus. I try to imagine the former, with those two hanging out and having a beer now and then."

Unless JackStraw is around. Then they share his stash.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at March 03, 2022 05:15 PM (aXxgO)

529 Should have kept Pershing missiles in Europe, this shit would never have happened.

Posted by: dartist at March 03, 2022 05:20 PM (+ya+t)

530 "[...] 79-year-old comedian [...]"

She's supposed to be funny?

Posted by: aelfheld at March 03, 2022 05:39 PM (Zy9Yy)

531 If you need a lift look up a few Alan King bits on ytoob

Posted by: Senor Coffee at March 03, 2022 05:40 PM (iSbhf)

532
Is Garrett the new Rosetta?

Posted by: Arbalest at March 03, 2022 05:53 PM (FlRtG)

533 What a shame.

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at March 03, 2022 07:01 PM (ehf0+)

534 Fuck Joy Behar. Hope it hurt.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 03, 2022 07:02 PM (sbdu4)

535 And how does Whoopi "rush" to anything but a fucking donut?

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 03, 2022 07:10 PM (sbdu4)

536 Could have been even better--what if Whoopi had stumbled and fell on the beached Behar Whale? A guy can dream.

Posted by: GlendaleGreybeard at March 03, 2022 07:31 PM (cn6vO)

537 Actually, the late Mr. Saget appears to have suffered a tremendous blow of a sort one would not expect from a common-and-garden fall in a hotel room. An emergency room physician interviewed by one magazine said the wounds he sustained are what you might expect from being hit with a baseball bat or falling from > 20 feet.

Posted by: Art Deco at March 03, 2022 08:06 PM (1BrBu)

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Rising Joy: Joy Behar Falls, Face-Plants on the Set of "The View"Video Added

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Rising Joy: Joy Behar Falls, Face-Plants on the Set of "The View"
Video Added