Saturday Overnight Open Thread (12/4/21)

***

The Saturday Night Joke

A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents.

“When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

“Honey,” he said “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh, that?” she said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

***

Party like there is no tomorrow.

“I FEEL LIKE A SURVIVOR”: INSIDE THE FUNERAL INDUSTRY’S 2021 NATIONAL CONVENTION
After a busy year, morticians let loose at their annual gathering in Nashville.

***

Going on a road trip? The cost of speeding around the world visualized.

***

I forgot all about this. I originally found this story on Western Journal but I'm getting a 400 Bad Request. So I searched and found this.

The Washington Post has a good story about this. But, it's behind a paywall.

***

I'm a Spotify subscriber. I didn't have a problem, unlike others.

Some Spotify fans aren’t getting their yearly review because the music streaming app keeps crashing on them.
Furious listeners took to Twitter to air their grievances about the app’s Wrapped feature not working for them when it launched yesterday.
For most, their Wrapped 2021 review was delivered on time, but some faced major issues.
One user tweeted: ‘Hello Spotify i want to complain about my wrapped stories not working like they should.’

***

I love fishing. It's hard to explain. Perhaps this will help.

A truly dedicated fisherman is one who has seen it all and still goes back for more.
It took many years for us to become truly skilled anglers. It involved a long learning curve, many failures, and a commitment to never give up. This passion has become a religion for some, but surely there's some point in every angler's life that they realize that fishing is far more important than just what you catch.
Dedication to our favorite outdoor pursuits is what makes us tick. Once you become truly dedicated, you'll figure a few things out that would have never occurred to you otherwise.

***

I have great bosses. I wouldn't object to kicking in for a Christmas present. Would you? This person has a real burr under his sadle.

For many employees, a Christmas party or a bonus goes a long way after a year of hard work.
But one unhappy employee was furious after they were asked to put $20 (£15) towards their boss' Christmas presents.
The anonymous person shared a screenshot of an email from their HR department reminding them about their contribution to Reddit, where they said: "That money is going to my kids, not to the fat cats at the top who make at least 5x what I make on any given month.
"Buy your own damn presents."

***

Review: The New Jack Daniel’s Release Comes With an Actual Warning

Coy Hill High Proof goes where few whiskeys have dared. Should it have?

What we’re drinking: Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel 2021 Special Release, Coy Hill High Proof
Where it’s from: Jack Daniel’s, the Tenneseee whiskey giant that’s released several other short-run single barrel releases in the past few years, including Heritage Barrel and Barrel Proof Rye. Coy Hill also marks a very recent follow-up to their first age-statement release since Prohibition.
Why we’re drinking this: Alcohol comes with many warnings. But “due to the high barrel strength, the bottle should remain upright at all times” is a first for us.

***

Bad Santa, and I laughed at a few of these. Does that make be a Bad Cob?

Creepy Vintage Santas
Christmas should be all about joy, happiness, and gifts… However these Santas look like something that has creeped out of a fever dream. It seems that Christmas was much more scary in the past…

***

I thanked the Fabulous Mrs. Mis. Hum. for a wonderful dinner. Does that count?

50 Boyfriends And Husbands Who Raised The Bar Too High For Other Men
It’s that time of the year when people put all of their focus on the holiday rituals. Decorating trees, singing Christmas jingles and looking for the right gift for their loved ones. No one can deny that exchanging presents is a significant part of the whole celebration. We all know it feels great, right? Especially if you receive something special and thoughtful that lets you know much others care about you.

***

The ONT Musical Interlude

Our Christmas Music continues.................

AND

***

Most homeowners insurance policies don't have an exclusion for Genius Award Winner.

A Maryland homeowner accidentally burned down a house in November while attempting to use smoke to get rid of a snake infestation.
Pete Pringer, Montgomery County Fire and Rescue Service's public information officer, and other first responders were at the property Thursday to investigate.

Dumb fuck.

Here's a dumber ~~fuck~~Genius Award Winner.

A surgeon has been fined for accidentally amputating the wrong leg of an elderly patient in Austria.
The man, 82, ended up losing both his legs because of the error at the hospital in Freistadt in the state of Upper Austria on May 18.
He required the amputation because of his severe diabetes but doctors marked up the wrong limb while preparing him for surgery.
Nurses didn’t discover the mistake for two days when it was spotted during a routine bandage change. He then had to go under the knife again so they could amputate the right leg.

Fined? He should have been fired and imprisoned.

***

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Yarn.

Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. Rumor has it that The ONT is habit forming.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1

Ka mua!

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:00 PM (f4kZ4)

2 Evening, Horde...How goes it?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 04, 2021 10:01 PM (NQjQK)

3 Arf!

Posted by: Sandy at December 04, 2021 10:01 PM (VxC1e)

4 Woof!
And shut up Sandy!

Posted by: Conor at December 04, 2021 10:01 PM (hOUT3)

5 If that is knitting, second look at felt?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:01 PM (VxC1e)

6 Good evening morons and thanks mh

The fries go next to the burger, silly

Posted by: San Franpsycho at December 04, 2021 10:02 PM (EZebt)

7 Yay, ONT!

Thanks, MisHum, for doing this for so long and putting up with us ungrateful little shits.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 10:02 PM (SchxB)

8 I rate the joke: 5.0

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:03 PM (VxC1e)

9 Not first

Posted by: Dave in Fla at December 04, 2021 10:04 PM (5p7BC)

10 *drags tired carcass over the ONT finish line*

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Iron Fist in Velvet Glove in Iron Gauntlet Clutching an Iron Mace at December 04, 2021 10:04 PM (Dc2NZ)

11 Stories of surgeons removing the wrong kidney or lung are legion. This is why hospitals use magic markers to write CUT HERE on the patient's body before the procedure.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:05 PM (VxC1e)

12 Umm....I have some unexpected free time.

Can I comment here?

Posted by: Fredo Cuomo at December 04, 2021 10:05 PM (QzkSJ)

13 For once, I am afraid to send that ONT Joke to my friends, acrimoniously married for fifty plus years!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:05 PM (hOUT3)

14 The only thing creepier than those Santas is Mr. Yarn.

Posted by: Boswell at December 04, 2021 10:06 PM (5iUNf)

15 100,000 Haitians amass at Mexican/Guatemalan border.

Heading north.

Posted by: It's Happening at December 04, 2021 10:06 PM (+FlgS)

16 Stories of surgeons removing the wrong kidney or lung are legion. This is why hospitals use magic markers to write CUT HERE on the patient's body before the procedure.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:05 PM (VxC1e)

Sounds like work!

Posted by: Dr House at December 04, 2021 10:06 PM (hOUT3)

17 How is that top pic link not to jimmy buffet's "cheeseburger in paradise"?

Posted by: Turn two at December 04, 2021 10:06 PM (mO6nR)

18 Thanks for the girthy ONT, Mis Hum!

That joke is to die for!

And that burger... (drools)

Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at December 04, 2021 10:07 PM (rwusL)

19 Those pants look like they should be "these pants" tomorrow morning.

Also I don't think that guy owns a weedwhacker.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at December 04, 2021 10:07 PM (llON8)

20 The last photo looks stolen from OM's "these pants" section of the Sunday morning book thread.

Posted by: Tuna at December 04, 2021 10:07 PM (gLRfa)

21 17 How is that top pic link not to jimmy buffet's "cheeseburger in paradise"?
Posted by: Turn two at December 04, 2021 10:06 PM (mO6nR)

What is Zappa Month for $500!

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:07 PM (aA3+G)

22 Puddles Pity Party has carved out a nice little niche for himself in the singing clown genre.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:07 PM (VxC1e)

23 'Money I made from selling the dolls.'
$20, same as in town.

Posted by: Eromero at December 04, 2021 10:07 PM (0OP+5)

24 100,000 Haitians amass at Mexican/Guatemalan border.

Heading north.

It's been far too long since our B-52 pilots have been able to practice saturation bombing. Not related, just a stray thought.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (SchxB)

25 That yarn?

Aw, hell to the no.

Posted by: Every cat, everywhere. at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (rBtIz)

26 *drags tired carcass over the ONT finish line*
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Iron Fist in Velvet Glove in Iron Gauntlet Clutching an Iron Mace

Had to drop out. Pretty sure I pulled a hammy.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (r1z5A)

27 Also I don't think that guy owns a weedwhacker.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at December 04, 2021 10:07 PM (llON

But I bet he owns several sets of knitting needles!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (hOUT3)

28 Holy crap, one of those Creepy Santas looks like Cthulhu!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Iron Fist in Velvet Glove in Iron Gauntlet Clutching an Iron Mace at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (Dc2NZ)

29 hiya

Posted by: JT at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (arJlL)

30 >>> 28 Holy crap, one of those Creepy Santas looks like Cthulhu!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Iron Fist in Velvet Glove in Iron Gauntlet Clutching an Iron Mace at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (Dc2NZ)

How is that creepy?

Posted by: Kurt Eichenwald at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (llON8)

31 @11: "This is why hospitals use magic markers to write CUT HERE ..."

Probably confusion about left or right from the doctor or patient's perspective mixed with some occasional directional dyslexia. I'd make sure to write the cut here direction myself though.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (+WWsf)

32 19 Those pants look like they should be "these pants" tomorrow morning.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at December 04, 2021 10:07 PM (llON

That is EXACTLY what I thought when I saw the picture. Horde mind is real and spectacular.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Sexual Racist. at December 04, 2021 10:09 PM (II3Gr)

33 Those pants look like they should be "these pants" tomorrow morning.

Also I don't think that guy owns a weedwhacker.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket

LOL !!!

Posted by: JT at December 04, 2021 10:10 PM (arJlL)

34
Creepy Vintage Santas

What the everlovin' fook?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 04, 2021 10:10 PM (3l5Yq)

35 So, ok, we have to drink the Jack Daniels Coy Hill with a straw? Like a bottle of coke?

Posted by: Eromero at December 04, 2021 10:10 PM (0OP+5)

36 Yeah I wouldn't contribute to a fund to buy the boss a Christmas present no matter how much I liked him or her. They do have a Bosses day and a Secretary day that I have contributed to.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 10:10 PM (iXJM1)

37 "This is why hospitals use magic markers to write CUT HERE ..." "

Yup. They marked my right hip before I went in surgery to have it replaced.

Posted by: Tuna at December 04, 2021 10:10 PM (gLRfa)

38 Helms was better here:

https://tinyurl.com/yjtpf6v8

Posted by: Boswell at December 04, 2021 10:11 PM (5iUNf)

39 Yarn! So that's the tiger that mauled Roy Horn!!!

Posted by: OrangeEnt at December 04, 2021 10:11 PM (7bRMQ)

40 Listening to Zappa makes me feel like I'm watching a Cheech & Chong movie. Especially "Catholic Girls"

Posted by: San Franpsycho at December 04, 2021 10:11 PM (EZebt)

41 Dang, those vintage Santas are horrifying. No wonder some of the kids are screaming.

And no, it's inappropriate for a boss to get presents, no matter what. The boss/underling relationship means it can almost never be completely spontaneous.

Posted by: pep at December 04, 2021 10:11 PM (ZsR3z)

42 So Zappa DID do Christmas songs!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at December 04, 2021 10:11 PM (16EvI)

43 "This is why hospitals use magic markers to write CUT HERE ..." "
Yup. They marked my right hip before I went in surgery to have it replaced.
Posted by: Tuna at December 04, 2021 10:10 PM (gLRfa)

Hopefully before you got the really good drugs?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:12 PM (hOUT3)

44 Not too late.

I started Noom dieting again. That burger is dreamy... 1750 calories is basicallyi starving for me.

Posted by: Fastly Strokewater at December 04, 2021 10:12 PM (gWAUD)

45 And that, my friends, is almost a sandwich. No top bun! You're gonna make me eat it with a knife and a fork like some Kansas City faggot!!??

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:12 PM (mD/uy)

46 I don't understand how a doctor can amputate the wrong leg. The two times that I had cataract surgery I was asked repeatedly to confirm which eye was being done. I'll bet I was asked four or five times.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (+lVUW)

47 100,000 Haitians amass at Mexican/Guatemalan border.

The Mexicans can stop this whenever they want. They don't want to, and I don't blame them. They understood Trump, but Biden is so corrupt, they recoil at doing business with him.

Posted by: pep at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (ZsR3z)

48 "to commit a waste" is to intentionally destroy the property. That is breach of contract on every mortgage I ever had.

Posted by: Been Lurking, but clearly been posting too at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (rDgjh)

49
Umm....I have some unexpected free time.

Can I comment here?
Posted by: Fredo Cuomo

Nope, not until you go take down all the signs naming that bridge after your mobbed up daddy ...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (3l5Yq)

50 And that, my friends, is almost a sandwich. No top bun! You're gonna make me eat it with a knife and a fork like some Kansas City faggot!!??
Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:12 PM (mD/uy)

I didn't see the hot dogs, what did I miss?

Posted by: Jonah G at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (hOUT3)

51 If I were the surgeon or just the person responsible for marking the patient, I'd want the test results right in front of me if it wasn't something visibly obvious to trained personnel.

Measure twice, cut once isn't just for tailors.

Posted by: Epobirs at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (uNrGf)

52 I've had several eye surgeries in the last year. They askmseveral times which eye, even after they put a sticker above it on my forehead.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (kTF2Z)

53 December...Christmas, Zappa...what's not to like

Posted by: COMountainMarie at December 04, 2021 10:14 PM (16EvI)

54 53 December...Christmas, Zappa...what's not to like
Posted by: COMountainMarie at December 04, 2021 10:14 PM (16EvI)

Yes, an 'ette that gets it.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:14 PM (aA3+G)

55 Ok, now I can start blaming typos on booze.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:15 PM (kTF2Z)

56 26 *drags tired carcass over the ONT finish line*
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Iron Fist in Velvet Glove in Iron Gauntlet Clutching an Iron Mace

Had to drop out. Pretty sure I pulled a hammy.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 04, 2021 10:08 PM (r1z5A)
------------------

If you think pulling a hamstring gets you in trouble, man. Let me tell you.

Posted by: Jeff "Spanky" Toobin at December 04, 2021 10:15 PM (lNHqD)

57 While I was caretaking a friend she had to have multiple surgeries.
I always marked the4 correct part to cut and also, since she lymphedema, marked that arm to avoid punctures and injections.
Two of the hospitals where I did this got pretty pissy about it. They also cut in the right places.

Posted by: Winston, GOPe, not one dime, not one vote at December 04, 2021 10:15 PM (7rP4D)

58 Umm....I have some unexpected free time.

Can I comment here?
Posted by: Fredo Cuomo

Given how that worked out, and that we haven't been told what the "independent investigation" has found out about Fredo, I'll bet he's too toxic even for MSNBC.

Posted by: pep at December 04, 2021 10:15 PM (ZsR3z)

59 Amputated leg sounds like the due diligence used on Baldwin's movie set.

Every surgeon I keep now has the proper body part to be worked on marked up with a washable marker. The surgical nurse and others are supposed to confirm everything correct and set to go . The surgeon then confirms one last time before he starts.

Even so this crap happens somewhere a few times a year.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 10:15 PM (iXJM1)

60 Booze and the eye surgeries, but mostly the booze.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:15 PM (kTF2Z)

61 "Hopefully before you got the really good drugs? "

I remember a shot of something in my IV as they were wheeling me in the OR and thinking "Oh that must be the start of the good stuff."

Posted by: Tuna at December 04, 2021 10:16 PM (gLRfa)

62 MH...

12ft.io

to deal with paywalled articles

Posted by: ... at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (7HyDs)

63 12 Umm....I have some unexpected free time.

Can I comment here?
Posted by: Fredo Cuomo at December 04, 2021 10:05 PM (QzkSJ)

Did they have a nice retirement party for you? Was there cake? Tell us all about it, you little bitch.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (+lVUW)

64 He required the amputation because of his severe diabetes but doctors marked up the wrong limb while preparing him for surgery.

Nurses didn't discover the mistake for two days when it was spotted during a routine bandage change. He then had to go under the knife again so they could amputate the right leg.
---

No obligatory "didn't have a leg to stand on" legal joke?

It's like I don't even know you people.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (mD/uy)

65 I've had several eye surgeries in the last year. They askmseveral times which eye, even after they put a sticker above it on my forehead.

When my wife recently had a hip replacement, they had her sign her name on herself on the correct side.

Posted by: pep at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (ZsR3z)

66
An elderly couple live in a nursing home.

One day, the old lady comes in to find the old man getting a handjob from another old lady.

She flips out, and starts shouting "Harold!!! How could you do this?! What's Hattie got that I don't?!"

Harold says "Parkinson's."

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (2ABQr)

67 You love The Lead with Jake Tapper. You never miss Anderson Cooper 360. We know you'll love Acosted with Jim Acosta. You won't know the real truth in Washington until you've been Acosted.

Posted by: CNN at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (cupoy)

68 FUNERAL INDUSTRY 2021 NATIONAL CONVENTION
***

A guy could write a Masters Thesis from interviewing the hookers after such a convention.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 04, 2021 10:18 PM (axyOa)

69 When the budget for your video project is about 50 bucks:

https://youtu.be/9ao5offHNfI

"Bus full of Nuns" - Dan Barr

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 10:18 PM (SchxB)

70 After a busy year, morticians let loose at their annual gathering in Nashville.

I once spent a weekend at a hotel in downtown Chicago on business.

There was a convention of dentists at the hotel, and I wondered if I had stumbled on the annual meeting of the American Association of Alcoholic Dentists. In the evening, an amazing fraction of the (fairly young) dentists and their wives seemed to be inebriated.

I wondered about it, and then it dawned on me that if you are practicing dentistry in a small town in the Midwest, and you go off the rails, the townspeople and your patients will probably hear about it. But when you go off to the big city, you can do what you want without your neighbors knowing.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 04, 2021 10:18 PM (I2/tG)

71 Posted by: ... at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (7HyDs)

Thank you.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:18 PM (aA3+G)

72 @64: "It's like I don't even know you people."

I'm still too confused by last night's fish in a box puzzle to worry about low hanging leg jokes.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 10:18 PM (+WWsf)

73 Is the start of an advent calendar of Zappa?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 04, 2021 10:18 PM (a3Q+t)

74

Virtually the only medical mistakes we ever hear about are the ones that can't be covered up...

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (f4kZ4)

75 When I had my ACL repaired, I marked both knees:

The good knee, with a skull and bones / saying "do not open"

The knee that needed surgery, "cut here"

My Orthopod was not amused.

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (BgMrQ)

76 I wondered about it, and then it dawned on me that if you are practicing dentistry in a small town in the Midwest, and you go off the rails, the townspeople and your patients will probably hear about it. But when you go off to the big city, you can do what you want without your neighbors knowing.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 04, 2021 10:18 PM (I2/tG)

-----------

What happens in Vegas...

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (VxC1e)

77 Evening, 'rons and 'ettes. Thanks for the reminder to cancel Spotify Premium, Mis Hum! Seemed like a good idea at the time, but I never listen to it, and I already overpay for Sirius/XM which has a free app.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (Agr8U)

78 A guy could write a Masters Thesis from interviewing the hookers after such a convention.
Posted by: Diogenes

They stiffed all the girls.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (mD/uy)

79 Good evening all

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (iH4Z+)

80 I remember a shot of something in my IV as they were wheeling me in the OR and thinking "Oh that must be the start of the good stuff."
Posted by: Tuna

Son had oral surgery Wed. He has very pleasant when he got home.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (r1z5A)

81 Not a fan of hamburgers like that one at top. Too much stuff piled on detracts from the taste of the juicy cow meat.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:20 PM (+lVUW)

82
Surgeon: Ok, Mr Lowell...

Me: Call me Duke.

Surgeon: Ok Duke, which eye are we operating on today?

Me: The one that's fucked up.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:20 PM (kTF2Z)

83 MisHum!! Thanks so much for featuring Hobbs in the pet thread today. I was gone all day but I did go look when I got home. I really appreciate you featuring our sweet pups.

Posted by: Jewells45 deplorablethug#FJB at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (nxdel)

84 No obligatory "didn't have a leg to stand on" legal joke?

It's like I don't even know you people.
Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (mD/uy)

I'm stumped...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (BgMrQ)

85 77 Evening, 'rons and 'ettes. Thanks for the reminder to cancel Spotify Premium, Mis Hum! Seemed like a good idea at the time, but I never listen to it, and I already overpay for Sirius/XM which has a free app.
Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (Agr8U)

Spotify is cheaper than Sirius.
I canceled Sirius a long time ago.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (aA3+G)

86 82
Surgeon: Ok, Mr Lowell...

Me: Call me Duke.

Surgeon: Ok Duke, which eye are we operating on today?

Me: The one that's fucked up.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:20 PM (kTF2Z)

LOLOLOLOLOL...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (BgMrQ)

87 Yay! Zappa Month is the bestest month! I'm so happy!

Posted by: Major Hochstetter at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (JPtHE)

88 84 No obligatory "didn't have a leg to stand on" legal joke?

It's like I don't even know you people.
Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (mD/uy)

I'm stumped...
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (BgMrQ)

-----------

Come on, Eileen

Posted by: Dexy's Midnight Runners at December 04, 2021 10:22 PM (VxC1e)

89 I was in one of those food gift shops at the mall many Christmases ago, with our youngest, when the mall Santa came in and asked if he could use their restroom.

Our three year old was gob-smacked- SANTA goes to the potty?
Mind blown.

Posted by: sal at December 04, 2021 10:22 PM (bJKUl)

90 79 Good evening all
Posted by: Muad'dib at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (iH4Z+)

Snowing your way?

Nothing here.

Yet.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:22 PM (aA3+G)

91 thank you Weird Dave for another great ONT. you had to be there.

Posted by: chango butt at December 04, 2021 10:22 PM (oSX/P)

92 I once met a man with a wooden leg named Smith.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:23 PM (VxC1e)

93 What happens in Vegas...

Iowahawk wrote a great article about an issue of a 1954 Chicago nightlife magazine that he found - the kind that they handed out to hotel guests.

For traveling businessmen away from their families, Chicago has always known how to provide some naughty fun.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 04, 2021 10:23 PM (I2/tG)

94 Outstanding thread, Misanthropic!

...now that that is out of the way, time to read content!

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (2SdPm) at December 04, 2021 10:23 PM (2SdPm)

95 Those vintage Santas are scary. No wonder the kids are crying and screaming!

Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at December 04, 2021 10:23 PM (rwusL)

96 He named his wooden leg Smith?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:23 PM (kTF2Z)

97 Our three year old was gob-smacked- SANTA goes to the potty?
Mind blown.
Posted by: sal

The older you get, the more of life's bitter disappointments are revealed.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:23 PM (mD/uy)

98 Yarn. WTF??!?

LOL

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at December 04, 2021 10:24 PM (ufFY8)

99 92 I once met a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:23 PM (VxC1e)

-----------------------

What was the name of his other leg?

Posted by: No One of Consequence at December 04, 2021 10:24 PM (CAJOC)

100 Good evening.

That burger looks delicious!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:25 PM (IDhUW)

101
He named his wooden leg Smith?
Posted by: Duke Lowell

'at's nothin' ... he named his remaining leg Wesson.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 04, 2021 10:25 PM (3l5Yq)

102 No obligatory "didn't have a leg to stand on" legal joke?

It's like I don't even know you people.
Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (mD/uy)

I'm stumped...
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard

Joke like that needs to be slow walked...

Posted by: Some Rat at December 04, 2021 10:25 PM (r1z5A)

103 Surgeon: Ok, Mr Lowell...

Me: Call me Duke.

Surgeon: Ok Duke, which eye are we operating on today?

Me: The one that's fucked up.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:20 PM (kTF2Z)

NOT the conversation you want with your dentist.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (axyOa)

104 >90 79 Good evening all
Posted by: Muad'dib at December 04, 2021 10:19 PM (iH4Z+)

Snowing your way?

Nothing here.

Yet.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:22 PM (aA3+G)

Starting here later tonight. Maybe 2". Then perhaps rain on top of it tomorrow.

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (iH4Z+)

105 I don't understand how a doctor can amputate the wrong leg. The two times that I had cataract surgery I was asked repeatedly to confirm which eye was being done. I'll bet I was asked four or five times.
Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM

The patient was 82 with diabetes. He may not have been lucid enough to verify. However, there should have been another doctor/nurse there to verify he was marking the correct leg. Hell, in a casino the pit boss has to verify a $500 buy in.

This is also why when you have a new prescription the pharmacist may ask some questions, just to verify that the script is likely correct.

Posted by: Chuck C at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (EughT)

106 Oooooh, another running gag!

Posted by: davidt at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (0hbQ6)

107 52 I've had several eye surgeries in the last year. They askmseveral times which eye, even after they put a sticker above it on my forehead.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (kTF2Z)

You got a sticker?! The cheap bastard that did my eyes just marked my forehead with a sharpie.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (+lVUW)

108 I forgot all about this. I originally found this story on Western Journal

There's a pic in that vid of Nancy sexing Mr. T. Yes there is. She's kissing him right on top of his bald head.

Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 10:27 PM (FFsBN)

109 "Oooooh, another running gag!"

It will go on until we limp across the finish line.

Posted by: Tuna at December 04, 2021 10:27 PM (gLRfa)

110 I went to Sam's Club this midafternoon. Why then? Because I'm a dumbass.

I weep for civilization lost.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (4I/2K)

111 I once met a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43)

I once met a man with great teeth but wooden gums ...

Posted by: Adriane the Helpful Critic ... at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (okV1R)

112 Y'all did hear about the spiritually misguided dyslexic? Yeah, he went and sold his soul to Santa.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (QzJWU)

113 Surgeon: Ok, Mr Lowell...
Me: Call me Duke.
Surgeon: Ok Duke, which eye are we operating on today?
Posted by: Duke Lowell

Dr: So Mr. Tonypete, what are we in for today?
Me: Don't you know?!

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (mD/uy)

114 Starting here later tonight. Maybe 2". Then perhaps rain on top of it tomorrow.
Posted by: Muad'dib at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (iH4Z+)

7-11" forecasted, then a high of 10 on Tuesday.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (aA3+G)

115 Nancy Reagan's 'Just Say No' campaign was more effective than the war on drugs.

Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (FFsBN)

116 Funny Santa story from Steve Martin in My Blue Heaven:

My uncle promised me a new bicycle for Christmas. I ran downstairs on Christmas morning only to find my uncle shot behind the ear. Plus, no bicycle.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (kTF2Z)

117 Never in a million years did I think a Mr. T and the Reagans video would make it dusty up in here.

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 10:29 PM (qpolg)

118 107 52 I've had several eye surgeries in the last year. They askmseveral times which eye, even after they put a sticker above it on my forehead.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (kTF2Z)

You got a sticker?! The cheap bastard that did my eyes just marked my forehead with a sharpie.
Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (+lVUW

I hear you wouldn't spring for the Frill Procedure.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:29 PM (aA3+G)

119 88 84 No obligatory "didn't have a leg to stand on" legal joke?

It's like I don't even know you people.
Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (mD/uy)

I'm stumped...
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (BgMrQ)

Guessing it was really hard to put his best foot forward after that!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:29 PM (hOUT3)

120 "One foot in front of th...." oh, sorry.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 04, 2021 10:29 PM (r1z5A)

121 Not a fan of hamburgers like that one at top. Too much stuff piled on detracts from the taste of the juicy cow meat.
~~~
There is no way I could eat that like a burger. I'd be finding a fork and it looks like all the flavors would go well together.

Now I'm hungry.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:30 PM (IDhUW)

122 You got a sticker?! The cheap bastard that did my eyes just marked my forehead with a sharpie.
Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (+lVUW)

---------

It's good to be the Duke!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:30 PM (kTF2Z)

123 >114 Starting here later tonight. Maybe 2". Then perhaps rain on top of it tomorrow.
Posted by: Muad'dib at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM (iH4Z+)

7-11" forecasted, then a high of 10 on Tuesday.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (aA3+G)

Yikers! Hope it's not the heavy wet. 11" of that is a bitch. Monday night is supposed to be -5 here.

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 04, 2021 10:30 PM (iH4Z+)

124 Where's Slow Joe when you need to insult a guy who can't stand up?

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (2SdPm) at December 04, 2021 10:30 PM (2SdPm)

125 Poutine burger means it's probably got some weird French cheese on the patties though.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 10:30 PM (+WWsf)

126 Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3)

Are we freaking related?!

Posted by: Some Rat at December 04, 2021 10:30 PM (r1z5A)

127 Good evening.

That burger looks delicious!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:25 PM

And AK struts in this evening like he owns the place...

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:30 PM (f4kZ4)

128 You got a sticker?! The cheap bastard that did my eyes just marked my forehead with a sharpie.
Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:26 PM

I'd rather have the sharpie. A sicker can fall off and be re-placed on the wrong eye.

Posted by: Chuck C at December 04, 2021 10:31 PM (EughT)

129 I'm stumped...
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (BgMrQ)

Guessing it was really hard to put his best foot forward after that!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar

You pegged that one.

Posted by: Miklos, hobbled by Circumstance at December 04, 2021 10:31 PM (QzkSJ)

130 On the subject of democrat on democrat in fighting, Alec Baldwin and George Clooney are having a bitch fight.

Clooney made some mean comment about the substandard safety on the Rust set, and Baldwin feels terribly hurt. The corpse of the victim didn't have much to say.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:31 PM (+lVUW)

131 Misanthropic Humanitarian

Thank you for the joke. Sent it to a couple I know that may have a few dolls in the box, but no money. 53 years of marriage. I guess child marriages were legal then.

I sent it to my wife so she can start selling the dolls. We need the money.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:31 PM (u82oZ)

132 I went to Sam's Club this midafternoon. Why then? Because I'm a dumbass.

I weep for civilization lost.
Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (4I/2K)

Well, to be fair, at least you were smart enough to avoid WalletMart!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:31 PM (hOUT3)

133 This talk of snow makes me very happy that next Saturday I'll be 500 miles further away from the arctic circle.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:31 PM (kTF2Z)

134 Just looked at the calendar and realized it's the 51st anniversary of the day I met my husband.

He says to get off our lawn.

Posted by: sal at December 04, 2021 10:32 PM (bJKUl)

135 41 And no, it's inappropriate for a boss to get presents, no matter what. The boss/underling relationship means it can almost never be completely spontaneous.
Posted by: pep at December 04, 2021 10:11 PM (ZsR3z)

Kind of like why a boss shouldn't date an employee. Unbalanced power relationship. They might feel the need to go out with you just because they fear getting fired if they don't.

Posted by: Rusty Trawler at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (1gif2)

136
7-11" forecasted, then a high of 10 on Tuesday.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (aA3+G)
-------

My favorite Christmas story: I was chatting with my ex Brother in Law, he was living in CA at the time, while I was living in MN, he asked about the weather, and I said, "It's great, new snow on the ground, warm, sunny day, 28 degrees outside!" (we'd had more than a few days of zero and below before that.)

Looking back, my ex BiL probably thought I was nuts.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (2SdPm) at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (2SdPm)

137 Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:31 PM (u82oZ)

You're welcome.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (aA3+G)

138 Spotify is cheaper than Sirius.
I canceled Sirius a long time ago.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (aA3+G)

Wish I could, but the spousal unit insists on having SXM in the car -- even though she could just as easily stream Spotify over Bluetooth.

Oh, well, it gives me a few more dolls to sell ...

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (Agr8U)

139 What if Alec Baldwin was the guy with the magic marker who was responsible for marking the correct site?

Doesn't seem like such a great system now, does it?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (VxC1e)

140 I had a cardiologist who saw me for a year and never knew I had a Pacemaker. I had to show it to him.

Posted by: madtom at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (go+84)

141 Are we freaking related?!
Posted by: Some Rat at December 04, 2021 10:30 PM (r1z5A)

Funny, that every member of my family has refused to submit to DNA testing!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:34 PM (hOUT3)

142 Well, that guy without legs can be the best knee-walking drunk at the senior center party.

Or Douglas Bader the II. With his own Spitfire and a lot of belted ammo. And anger issues with the political leaders of Austria.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:34 PM (u82oZ)

143 Kind of like why a boss shouldn't date an employee. Unbalanced power relationship. They might feel the need to go out with you just because they fear getting fired if they don't.
Posted by: Rusty Trawler

Fired?

This is how one gets hired.

Posted by: GlobalMiklosCorp at December 04, 2021 10:34 PM (QzkSJ)

144 I've got to get Publius one of those yarn suits.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:34 PM (Mzdiz)

145

Bring it! I'm ready for snow... Yes, yes I am -- and so is my 30-year-old snow blower!

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (f4kZ4)

146 I sympathize with that person burning down their house because ssssnakes. But probably better to just sell it and move.

Are snakes even sensitive to smoke?

Posted by: PaleRider at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (3cGpq)

147 Just looked at the calendar and realized it's the 51st anniversary of the day I met my husband.

He says to get off our lawn.
Posted by: sal at December 04, 2021 10:32 PM (bJKUl)

----------

I bow to your dogged persistence.

Also, sal is an 'ette?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (VxC1e)

148 Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (Agr8U)

I do miss Deep Tracks on occasion.

But, between Premium Spotify and freebie Pandora I have all my music needs covered in my newer vehicles.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (aA3+G)

149 Good evening y'all!

Putting up the Christmas tree, watching football and basketball. Went to freaking Costco today to get a wreath and poinsettia. They required a mask! So I just wore mine as a chin diaper. Interestingly enough........the liquor store next door didn't require one

Posted by: westminsterdogshow at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (/UQ/R)

150 62 MH...

12ft.io

to deal with paywalled articles
Posted by: ... at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (7HyDs)

That. Plus, as it's the WashingPoo, one shouldn't be providing them traffic, anyway. An archive.today link would deprive them of clicks and will sometimes defeat paywalls as a bonus. I haven't tried daisy-chaining 12ft.io + archive.today but I'd assume that'd work.

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (DTX3h)

151 They might feel the need to go out with you just because they fear getting fired if they don't.
Posted by: Rusty Trawler at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (1gif2)

As they should!

Posted by: F Cuomo at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (hOUT3)

152 Commissar Hrothgar

*Respectful tip of the hat*

Guess what I've been singing since Wednesday night?

Should I submit that to the next Saturday night joke collection effort?

We all did the DNA thing, and it cleared up some family mysteries. That will have to do until all the early prison records are digitized.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:36 PM (u82oZ)

153 I've got to get Publius one of those yarn suits.
Posted by: Miley

Could lead to a lot of knit picking

Posted by: GlobalMiklosCorp, Assistant Regional Sales Manger at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (QzkSJ)

154 But, between Premium Spotify and freebie Pandora I have all my music needs covered in my newer vehicles.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (aA3+G)

I use YouTube Music on Apple Car Play.

How much is Premium Spotify a month?

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (BgMrQ)

155 But, between Premium Spotify and freebie Pandora I have all my music needs covered in my newer vehicles.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:35 PM (aA3+G)

Dayum, I knew there were AoS COB bennies, but I didn't realize it included new vehicles!

Posted by: F Cuomo at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (hOUT3)

156 I bow to your dogged persistence.

Also, sal is an 'ette?
Posted by: Cicero

Either that or 'she's' being faking it in epic fashion for decades for the Mr!

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (mD/uy)

157 And AK struts in this evening like he owns the place...
~~~
Tonight is for being bold. Hello Zettai!

"he" should be "she". No gender confusion here.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (IDhUW)

158 Nancy Reagan's 'Just Say No' campaign was more effective than the war on drugs.

We lost that war, so.... yeah.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (SchxB)

159 Thank you, Cicero! Yes, I'm an 'ette.
My childhood nickname- also 'salt' in Latin.

Posted by: sal at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (bJKUl)

160 Clarence Henry doing his Frogman routine will ALWAYS make me laugh and tap my feet. That's a good song.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (2ABQr)

161 I would have been first but I took an arrow to the knee.

And I'm drunk, but mostly the drunk thing.

I'm eating chocolate ice cream as a hang over cure.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) Native Texan and Alabama Alumn, Twice as Smug as You at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (yQpMk)

162 Kisses the hand of Miley, the Duchess of Carolina.

Um, ... Your Grace, ... why? Has publius been ... bad?

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (u82oZ)

163 Could lead to a lot of knit picking
Posted by: GlobalMiklosCorp, Assistant Regional Sales Manger at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (QzkSJ)

-----------

That's a pearl of a pun.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (kTF2Z)

164 Clarence Henry doing his Frogman routine will ALWAYS make me laugh and tap my feet. That's a good song.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

OO0Wooo-wooa-Woo-wooo

Posted by: Miklos, singing along at December 04, 2021 10:39 PM (QzkSJ)

165 That's a pearl of a pun.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (kTF2Z)
-----------

I see you're giving everyone the needle.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (2SdPm) at December 04, 2021 10:39 PM (2SdPm)

166 We all did the DNA thing, and it cleared up some family mysteries. That will have to do until all the early prison records are digitized.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:36 PM (u82oZ)

NaCly my boy, my family was AFRAID that DNA tests would clear up too many family mysteries!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:39 PM (hOUT3)

167 Could lead to a lot of knit picking

Posted by: GlobalMiklosCorp, Assistant Regional Sales Manger at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (QzkSJ)

I'm afraid he'd send me to the Purly Gates...

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:40 PM (Mzdiz)

168 How much is Premium Spotify a month?
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (BgMrQ)

$10.95 month.

And I get my money's worth.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:40 PM (aA3+G)

169 I see you're giving everyone the needle.
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (2SdPm) at December 04, 2021 10:39 PM (2SdPm)

-----------

Nah, I got no skein in the game.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:40 PM (kTF2Z)

170 And Camille Yarborough doing "Take Yo' Praise" will always give me a special feeling. In my trousers.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 10:41 PM (2ABQr)

171 AmericanKestrel

I got ahold of TeeJ. He finished his last gig of the year, to acclaim yesterday.

He says to contact him directly. He has some issues with most of the commenters. Well, some of us do as well. I'm over it.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:41 PM (u82oZ)

172 Kisses the hand of Miley, the Duchess of Carolina.

Um, ... Your Grace, ... why? Has publius been ... bad?

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (u82oZ)

{{{Salty}}}

Only in a good way. I pointed out that there are a lot of interesting holes in it that could be probed, but he wasn't buying it.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:41 PM (Mzdiz)

173 They might feel the need to go out with you just because they fear getting fired if they don't.
Posted by: Rusty Trawler

I saw a big boss lady get immediately tossed out at JPMorganChase after one of her subordinate guy employees ratted her out. (after about a year of playing hide the salami)

It was epic.

*saw plenty of the reverse situation too, over the years*

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:41 PM (mD/uy)

174 Could lead to a lot of knit picking

---------

"Knit" picking?

Sir you had better start to tow the line.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:42 PM (VxC1e)

175 I'm afraid he'd send me to the Purly Gates...
Posted by: Miley

If it gets too warped, ain't nothing weft

Posted by: Miklos, cross-stitching comments at December 04, 2021 10:42 PM (QzkSJ)

176 And a seamless transition from leg jokes to knitting puns.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:42 PM (IDhUW)

177 $10.95 month.

And I get my money's worth.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:40 PM (aA3+G)

The "free" Pandora ads are beginning to get to me, I may have to give in and pay.

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:42 PM (hOUT3)

178 174 Could lead to a lot of knit picking

---------

"Knit" picking?

Sir you had better start to tow the line.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:42 PM (VxC1e)

Here, here.

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at December 04, 2021 10:42 PM (DTX3h)

179 It's a doggy dog world, after all.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:43 PM (VxC1e)

180 There is not a single chance in hell that I would donate money for a present for my boss. Especially in that kind of work where they make several times what I do and get sweet bennies.

Reminds me of the boss that was angry at me for not buying my lunch at the grocery store I worked at.

Dude. Even if I wanted microwaved crap, I'm not gonna give you back my paycheck. Dimwit.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 04, 2021 10:43 PM (KZzsI)

181 If it gets too warped, ain't nothing weft

Posted by: Miklos, cross-stitching comments at December 04, 2021 10:42 PM (QzkSJ)

Don't weave perversion into this!

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:43 PM (Mzdiz)

182 $10.95 month.

And I get my money's worth.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:40 PM (aA3+G)

Hmmmm...

A couple buck a month difference. The thing is I've amassed such a library of liked video/songs, it would be a chore to recreate it. Especially the music videos that exist on YouTube.

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:43 PM (BgMrQ)

183 Commissar Hrothgar

We were led to believe our family history was pretty exciting. Indians, scallawags, Catholics, Lutherans, and Baptists.

But we had to go back to the 1700s for something non-boring.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (u82oZ)

184 And I have no interest in a poutine burger.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (KZzsI)

185 Sir you had better start to tow the line.
Posted by: Cicero

I could care less.

Posted by: Miklos, unconcerned at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (QzkSJ)

186 Kateurday ONT Compliance Pics

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/media

*scroll down

Posted by: kbdabear at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (qAR6u)

187 DNA testing: My son got one and announced. "Dad I'm 70% British Isles, 30% European."
Me: "Looks like you need to stop calling me dad."

Posted by: Some Rat at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (r1z5A)

188 Doing an office Christmas exchange and including the boss is fine. But yeah, I agree with that guy that expecting all of the subordinates to chip in to buy the boss an expensive gift is bullshit.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (vPAxF)

189 Hey there, Mis Hum. Thanks for the ONT! Awesome joke :-)

Posted by: Doof at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (mZUr4)

190 The "free" Pandora ads are beginning to get to me, I may have to give in and pay.
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:42 PM (hOUT3)

Still beats whats on your radio dial

I normally start the day off with an hour or 2 of Pandora. Then it's usually Spotify until bedtime. Once in awhile we might watch TV.

Since we cut the cord TV is a thing of the past for the most part.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (aA3+G)

191 while attempting to use smoke to get rid of a snake infestation.

Plumbers will throw moth balls under a house to clear their area from possible snakes.

Wonder if that would work on squirrels?

Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (FFsBN)

192 I got ahold of TeeJ. He finished his last gig of the year, to acclaim yesterday.

He says to contact him directly. He has some issues with most of the commenters. Well, some of us do as well. I'm over it.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:41 PM (u82oZ)

I miss Teej. Say howdy for me, if you would Salty...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:45 PM (BgMrQ)

193 ..."he" should be "she". No gender confusion here.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM

And...Noted!

Sry.

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:45 PM (f4kZ4)

194 Gosh, who'd I piss off now NyCly?

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 10:45 PM (qpolg)

195 Wonder if that would work on squirrels?

Mom used to use them to drive away stuff that was nibbling on her plants. It should work but it might take so much you camphor the whole house.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 04, 2021 10:45 PM (KZzsI)

196 But we had to go back to the 1700s for something non-boring.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (u82oZ)

Does Edward Teach ring a bell?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:45 PM (hOUT3)

197 Don't weave perversion into this!
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess

I am only aiming for a 1000 comment thread count.

Posted by: Miklos, unindicted if not entirely innocent at December 04, 2021 10:46 PM (QzkSJ)

198 I've asked Publius for the gift of music this year. That means getting all of our various equipment hooked up, and probably a certain amount of hole drilling and headaches.

He probably wishes I'd asked for a diamond tennis bracelet.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:46 PM (Mzdiz)

199 by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:41 PM
~~~
Thanks NaCly! I appreciate you making the effort.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:47 PM (IDhUW)

200 I used to put moth balls around the base of the raised beds to keep critters out of the tomatoes.

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 10:47 PM (qpolg)

201 So, there's a new Dracula movie coming out, this time focused on Renfield (the name of the movie). Dracula is being played by.... Nicholas Cage.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 04, 2021 10:47 PM (KZzsI)

202 Yarn puns.

I got knot-in.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:47 PM (u82oZ)

203 110 I went to Sam's Club this midafternoon. Why then? Because I'm a dumbass.

I weep for civilization lost.
Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 04, 2021 10:28 PM (4I/2K)

I don't have a membership, but I drove into their parking lot to turn around on a Saturday afternoon. Big mistake.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:47 PM (+lVUW)

204 Dat burger! Feed me for a week. But, fed well.
♠
Zappa Christmas video - really helps us get in the Spirit!!
♠
...fishing is far more important than just what you catch...
Can't I just catch some supper without being drawn into some weird religion?
♠
Puddles - no, thanks
Jingle Bell Rock - sure
♠
Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Yarn. - I suggest this for the "Pants" link on the book thread.
And here we are.

Posted by: mindful webworker - buttered latte thin neverr at December 04, 2021 10:48 PM (GxM4+)

205 Wait, Teej flounced. I missed that one.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:48 PM (kTF2Z)

206 I am only aiming for a 1000 comment thread count.

Posted by: Miklos, unindicted if not entirely innocent at December 04, 2021 10:46 PM (QzkSJ)

Two words - geezer sheets.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:48 PM (Mzdiz)

207 I've asked Publius for the gift of music this year. That means getting all of our various equipment hooked up, and probably a certain amount of hole drilling and headaches.

He's putting in coax cable over the whole 40 acres?

Posted by: Miklos, impressed at December 04, 2021 10:48 PM (QzkSJ)

208 @201: "Dracula is being played by.... Nicholas Cage."

Uncle Coppola's 1992 Dracula film might warrant a rewatch!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 10:49 PM (+WWsf)

209 Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:44 PM (aA3+G)

Funny thing, I am already paying J Bozos money for prime, and the amazong music is the most effed up service I have ever tried!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:49 PM (hOUT3)

210 200 I used to put moth balls around the base of the raised beds to keep critters out of the tomatoes.
Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 10:47 PM (qpolg)

As a warning???

You and Ben Had are pretty handy with a knife I see.

How do you hold the little bastards down?

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:49 PM (BgMrQ)

211 I don't have a membership,

-----------

Well, they have standards.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:49 PM (VxC1e)

212 Whenever I think of the instructions for the knit stitch:
"Stab it, strangle it, scoop out its guts and throw it over the cliff", I think of the Horde.
Not sure why...

Posted by: sal at December 04, 2021 10:49 PM (bJKUl)

213 Infide

You're good. No worries, mate.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:49 PM (u82oZ)

214 geezer sheets.

I do

Like...now

Posted by: Preznit Joey B. at December 04, 2021 10:49 PM (QzkSJ)

215 Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:45 PM

No worries. Thanks for acknowledging my entrances.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:50 PM (IDhUW)

216 browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard

Do not, repeat, do not get on the kitchen table.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:50 PM (u82oZ)

217 Grandkids just left after decorating our Christmas tree. This year they grouped the small red jingle bells in sets of three and pronounced them cherries. Kind of a joke since we have cherry trees and the property is part of an original cherry orchard from the mid 1890s. Along a driveway with a neighbor there are a couple of the original trees. They are huge around and still produce flowers but no fruit.

Posted by: Beartooth at December 04, 2021 10:50 PM (aghXp)

218 That last pic looks like *Hunter* Biden's afghan disaster.

Posted by: Half Dozen at December 04, 2021 10:50 PM (dJs6r)

219 Wait, Teej flounced. I missed that one.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:48 PM (kTF2Z)

Me too, but then, I'm not here as often as I used to be.

It's time for more Hallmark Christmas. I need decoration ideas. If I were to go shopping at Balsam Hill, I could drop 10 grand in a few hours.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:51 PM (Mzdiz)

220 No worries. Thanks for acknowledging my entrances.
Posted by: AmericanKestrel

Wait for the show-stopper exit!

Posted by: Miklos "Busby" Berkeley at December 04, 2021 10:52 PM (QzkSJ)

221

My new truck came with Sirius XM built in -- first three (3) months free... I didn't sign up, and every other day I get an exhortation in the mail, or an email from them...

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:52 PM (f4kZ4)

222 Duke Lowell

If you ever get near Manhattan, let me know. We can have an informal tiny MoMeet. And welcome un advance to Missouri.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:52 PM (u82oZ)

223 browndog, if I catch them, they die.

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 10:53 PM (qpolg)

224 Thank you, Cicero! Yes, I'm an 'ette.
My childhood nickname- also 'salt' in Latin.
Posted by: sal at December 04, 2021 10:38 PM (bJKUl)

----------

Lot's wife was named salt.

I think.

Maybe it was Pilar. Pilar O. Salt.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:53 PM (VxC1e)

225 How you doing Infidel? Lil dude scored a goal today!

Posted by: westminsterdogshow at December 04, 2021 10:53 PM (/UQ/R)

226 My new truck came with Sirius XM built in

I think we all know who the 1 Percenters are around here

Posted by: Miklos, poor but proud at December 04, 2021 10:53 PM (QzkSJ)

227 Funny thing, I am already paying J Bozos money for prime, and the amazong music is the most effed up service I have ever tried!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 10:49 PM (hOUT3)

This January I'll be cancelling Prime, after about 12 years. It comes in handy for some things (like matching wool rugs in various sizes that are impossible to find in stores), but I've got to cut the cord.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:54 PM (Mzdiz)

228 If you ever get near Manhattan, let me know. We can have an informal tiny MoMeet. And welcome un advance to Missouri.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:52 PM (u82oZ)

----------

That would be an honor. Thank you.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:54 PM (kTF2Z)

229 My new truck came with Sirius XM built in -- first three (3) months free... I didn't sign up, and every other day I get an exhortation in the mail, or an email from them...
Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:52 PM (f4kZ4)

Same here.

I used it for a day or so...I was not impressed. I'm even less impressed with the snail mail offerings and the email inundation.

I appreciate my own curated lists.

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (BgMrQ)

230 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.

Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (AmoqO)

231 226 My new truck came with Sirius XM built in

---------

Six month free introductory subscription FTW!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (VxC1e)

232 "It's great, new snow on the ground, warm, sunny day, 28 degrees outside!" (we'd had more than a few days of zero and below before that.)

Looking back, my ex BiL probably thought I was nuts.
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (2SdPm) at December 04, 2021 10:33 PM (2SdPm)

In Michigan a sunny day during winter is something to be celebrated.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (+lVUW)

233 I think we all know who the 1 Percenters are around here

Posted by: Miklos, poor but proud at December 04, 2021 10:53 PM (QzkSJ)

No new vehicles for us. Don't want the damned spyware and bells and whistles.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (Mzdiz)

234
It's time for more Hallmark Christmas. I need decoration ideas.
~~~
I have a mix of large colored lights and icicle lights in the front window. I'm pleased with the results.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:56 PM (IDhUW)

235 I think we all know who the 1 Percenters are around here

Posted by: Miklos, poor but proud at December 04, 2021 10:53 PM

It's my compensation for having to drive a bloody minivan about for over a dozen years!

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 10:56 PM (f4kZ4)

236 No new vehicles for us. Don't want the damned spyware and bells and whistles.
Posted by: Miley

Seriously. I think we'll run the vehicles we have into the dirt.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:56 PM (mD/uy)

237 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.
Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (AmoqO)

------------

Dear France,

I notice that this letter is not written in German. You're welcome. Also, fuck you.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 10:56 PM (kTF2Z)

238 Well, good night, good Hordelings!

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:56 PM (Mzdiz)

239 How you doing Infidel? Lil dude scored a goal today!
Posted by: westminsterdogshow

Burned out. Trying to get in the holiday mood.

Good job lil dude!

How are you!

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 10:56 PM (qpolg)

240 230 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.
Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (AmoqO)

...and you paid it?!?!

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:57 PM (BgMrQ)

241 Cut snowflakes with the kids and tape em to the window

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 04, 2021 10:57 PM (KZzsI)

242 230 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.
Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (AmoqO)

Le Blow Me

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 10:57 PM (aA3+G)

243 No new vehicles for us. Don't want the damned spyware and bells and whistles.
Posted by: Miley

I think you have enough motorized equipment already to build three or five vehicles Of Ingenious Design

Posted by: Miklos, street legal too probably at December 04, 2021 10:58 PM (QzkSJ)

244 My new truck came with Sirius XM built in -- first three (3) months free... I didn't sign up, and every other day I get an exhortation in the mail, or an email from them...

After seven years of refusal, I only hear from them infrequently - generally when I get my car maintained.

Do not give them your credit card number - trying to cancel Sirius XM is apparently so obnoxious that people suggest that you simply cancel your credit card and get a new one, rather than deal with Sirius XM.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 04, 2021 10:58 PM (I2/tG)

245 Kind of like why a boss shouldn't date an employee. Unbalanced power relationship. They might feel the need to go out with you just because they fear getting fired if they don't.
Posted by: Rusty Trawler

Actually, f**king the person in charge can be great for your career. Giving him blow jobs is even better.

Posted by: Kamalal at December 04, 2021 10:58 PM (+lVUW)

246 AmericanKestrel gave him a very brief look, and shook her head. There was movement under the table, a small fleshy kind of noise and the drunk suddenly bent forward, colour draining from his face. Probably only he and the Horde heard AmericanKestrel purr: 'What is sticking in your foot is a Mitzy "Pretty Lucretia" four-inch heel, the most dangerous footwear in the world. Considered as pounds per square inch, it's like being trodden on by a very pointy elephant. Now, I know what you're thinking: you're thinking, "Could she press it all the way through to the floor?" And, you know, I'm not sure about that myself. The sole of your boot might give me a bit of trouble, but nothing else will. But that's not the worrying part. The worrying part is that I was forced practically at knifepoint to take ballet lessons as a child, which means I can kick like a mule; you are sitting in front of me; and I have another shoe . Good, I can see you have worked that out. I'm going to withdraw the heel now.'

There was a small 'pop' from under the table. With great care the man stood up, turned and, without a backward glance, lurched unsteadily away.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:58 PM (u82oZ)

247 Could lead to a lot of knit picking

Posted by: GlobalMiklosCorp, Assistant Regional Sales Manger at December 04, 2021 10:37 PM (QzkSJ)

I'm afraid he'd send me to the Purly Gates...

Those are rod iron gates.

Posted by: Reuben Hick at December 04, 2021 10:58 PM (cMlfp)

248 235 I think we all know who the 1 Percenters are around here
Posted by: Miklos, poor but proud at December 04, 2021 10:53 PM

I figured that this new car could be my last if "things" don't go well.

So I treated myself #canttakeitwithyou

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:59 PM (BgMrQ)

249 Good night Miley

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 10:59 PM (IDhUW)

250 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.
Posted by: Javems

A week or so ago I got a notice from Union City TN for speeding. Camera cam got me on the way home from the MoMe. Bastids.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:59 PM (mD/uy)

251 Actually, f**king the person in charge can be great for your career. Giving him blow jobs is even better.

You just have to know when to kick him to the curb when he is no longer useful to you.

Posted by: Kamala! at December 04, 2021 11:00 PM (I2/tG)

252 Do not give them your credit card number - trying to cancel Sirius XM is apparently so obnoxious that people suggest that you simply cancel your credit card and get a new one, rather than deal with Sirius XM.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at December 04, 2021 10:58 PM (I2/tG)

Close.

I had to repeatedly tell them. "I don't fucking want your service anymore".

She couldn't take F off for an answer.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 11:00 PM (aA3+G)

253 They were passing the envelope for this supervisor that was universally disliked who was moving to another town.
It came back empty. Manager salted it with $20 bill and had it passed around again. Came back empty.

Posted by: Senor Coffee at December 04, 2021 11:00 PM (iSbhf)

254
Best of Breed and Hound Group 2 at today's Conroe KC show. Not a good show site. The RV parking is a quarter of a mile away from the rings, so I drove Her Majesty and Lila from the rig up there. A butler's life is not a happy one

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 04, 2021 11:00 PM (/U27+)

255 Seriously. I think we'll run the vehicles we have into the dirt.
Posted by: Tonepete

When I had mine in the shop last year for an oil change, I asked that they give it a good once over. It is the last vehicle I was going to buy. I bought it used.

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 11:01 PM (qpolg)

256 {{{westminsterdogshow}}}

That dance is still golden in memory. Yet another thing to be thankful for.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 11:01 PM (u82oZ)

257 Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:58 PM (u82oZ)

lol, how I strutted in on those heels without falling I will never know.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:02 PM (IDhUW)

258 Harumpf!

Posted by: Codwallington Faggabeefy III at December 04, 2021 11:02 PM (QU5/8)

259 There was a small 'pop' from under the table. With great care the man stood up, turned and, without a backward glance, lurched unsteadily away.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:58 PM (u82oZ)

***wide eyes***

OK then...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 11:02 PM (BgMrQ)

260 Cut snowflakes with the kids and tape em to the window
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

I still have the 'turkeys' drawn in the shape of a hand hanging on the fridge.

It even has elbow macaroni glued to it.

This is no chickenshit outfit I'm running here!

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 11:02 PM (mD/uy)

261 Canceling Amazon Prime takes like 5 steps. Are you sure? Here's what Prime gives you! All your friends have it! Prime is a great deal! You want a prime credit card? FINE SURE, YOU DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (KZzsI)

262 lol, how I strutted in on those heels without falling I will never know.

Gyroscopic soles?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (SchxB)

263 ...Don't want the damned spyware and bells and whistles.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM

I got the base Toyota Tacoma experience with four-wheel drive -- the option with my preferred manual transmission would have cost several thousand more! I *think* I've disabled the telemetry by simply pulling the fuse for the transmitter...

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (f4kZ4)

264 Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 04, 2021 11:00 PM (/U27+)

So you returned to pick her up?

Things could have been worse IYKWIM

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (aA3+G)

265 She couldn't take F off for an answer.

Given the stories, I'm sure that the Sirius XM phone people work on reverse commission - a high base salary that gets reduced every time you let someone cancel.

Posted by: Kamala! at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (I2/tG)

266 I figured that this new car could be my last if "things" don't go well.

----------

Do you have any idea how big the hole has to be for one of those things?

PRO-TIP: Pre-pay the backhoe service company.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (VxC1e)

267 Harumpf!
Posted by: Codwallington Faggabeefy III

Coddy old chap!

Posted by: Throck "Buffy" Buckmorton IV at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (QzkSJ)

268
At this peaceful and holy time of year I greet everyone of whatever race, color or creed with a heartfelt "Go to hell".

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 04, 2021 11:04 PM (/U27+)

269 The movie thread got me to read about Joel Schumacher who I'll be honest, I hadn't thought about pretty much ever.

He was apparently very, very gay - he claimed he had sex with 10K or more men and was of course molested as a boy.

He was accused of making Batman gay...which he denied, though George Clooney, of all people, admitted Schumacer told him to play the character as gay.

And the only film he made that had any real impact was The Lost Boys...which is a very gay take on a vampire turning a group of boys gay, sorry, vampiric. Quite a metaphor...and very very gay.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:04 PM (ESjRY)

270 Canceling Amazon Prime takes like 5 steps. Are you sure? Here's what Prime gives you! All your friends have it! Prime is a great deal! You want a prime credit card? FINE SURE, YOU DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (KZzsI)

-----------

Nobody has ever cancelled Amazon Prime.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:05 PM (VxC1e)

271 At this peaceful and holy time of year I greet everyone of whatever race, color or creed with a heartfelt "Go to hell".
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

I read that in Slim Pickens's voice.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 11:05 PM (mD/uy)

272 Do you have any idea how big the hole has to be for one of those things?

PRO-TIP: Pre-pay the backhoe service company.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:03 PM (VxC1e)

***snort***

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 11:05 PM (BgMrQ)

273 Nobody has ever cancelled Amazon Prime.
Posted by: Cicero

You can cancel for $9.95/mo

Posted by: Miklos at the Bangalore Call Centre at December 04, 2021 11:06 PM (QzkSJ)

274 Nobody has ever cancelled Amazon Prime.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:05 PM (VxC1e)

Ahhh, Hotel California...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 11:06 PM (BgMrQ)

275 At this peaceful and holy time of year I greet everyone of whatever race, color or creed with a heartfelt "Go to hell".
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

-----------

SgtMaj Plumley, is that you?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 11:06 PM (kTF2Z)

276 Gyroscopic soles?
~~~
All shoes should have this!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:06 PM (IDhUW)

277 And the only film he made that had any real impact was The Lost Boys...which is a very gay take on a vampire turning a group of boys gay, sorry, vampiric. Quite a metaphor...and very very gay.

"One thing about living in santa carla I never could stomach... all the damn homos"
--Grandpa

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 04, 2021 11:07 PM (KZzsI)

278 Have a great night, everyone.

May you find bliss.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 11:07 PM (u82oZ)

279 Evening.

Posted by: Robert at December 04, 2021 11:08 PM (ZuEiM)

280 I'm not red bliss, but I could be your tater.

Posted by: Brian Stelter at December 04, 2021 11:08 PM (ESjRY)

281 Evening.
Posted by: Robert at December 04, 2021 11:08 PM (ZuEiM)

----------

Lucky guess, professor.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:09 PM (VxC1e)

282 May you find bliss.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 11:07 PM (u82oZ)

NO U!

Posted by: Robert, needlessly aggro at December 04, 2021 11:09 PM (ZuEiM)

283 8 I rate the joke: 5.0
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 10:03 PM (VxC1e)

I rate it a 95,000!

Posted by: Bonnie Blue - says FU at December 04, 2021 11:09 PM (hlxe7)

284 Lucky guess, professor.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:09 PM (VxC1e)

It helps that it's dark outside.

Posted by: Robert at December 04, 2021 11:10 PM (ZuEiM)

285 May you find bliss.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

Ft. Bliss?

Posted by: Miklos, thinking there's better at December 04, 2021 11:10 PM (QzkSJ)

286 Salty.....love you my dear!

Posted by: westminsterdogshow at December 04, 2021 11:10 PM (/UQ/R)

287 14 The only thing creepier than those Santas is Mr. Yarn.
Posted by: Boswell at December 04, 2021 10:06 PM (5iUNf)

The cowbell clown little drummer boy was really creepy to me.

Posted by: Bonnie Blue - says FU at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (hlxe7)

288 Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:04 PM (ESjRY)

Lost Boys was about making gay vampires? That apparently went way way over my head. Especially with Jamie Gertz.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (iXJM1)

289 This that will get you fired as a doctor in OZ:

Accidentally amputating a leg? No.

Refusing to take an experimental gene therapy? Yes.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (ESjRY)

290 240 230 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.
Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (AmoqO)

...and you paid it?!?!
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:57 PM (BgMrQ)

Yeah, what are they going to do if you don't pay, extradite you?

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (+lVUW)

291 Relax said the amazon rep, we are programmed to receive.
You can cancel anytime you like, but you can never leave.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (kTF2Z)

292 Good night NaCly

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:12 PM (IDhUW)

293 Evening, ONT'ers, and thank you, MisHum!

Went to the big Phoenix gun show today. Got a bunch of things I needed, had a brief chat with Joe Arpaio, and bought a crusty old "parts" revolver for $75. It is an FIE model E15, .22LR, single action only. I messed with it for a couple of hours after getting back to the house, and I am now pretty confident it will shoot.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 04, 2021 11:12 PM (P3gRi)

294 The simple solution is just to use someone else's Amazon Prime account.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:12 PM (vuisn)

295 Yeah, what are they going to do if you don't pay, extradite you?
Posted by: nerdygirl

You have to have the vaxx to enter France.

Posted by: Miklos, ze probleme she ees unsol-ved at December 04, 2021 11:13 PM (QzkSJ)

296 May you find bliss.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 11:07 PM (u82oZ)

So I guess I've been doing it all wrong, because it sure has not been finding me!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) - Lie back and think of that sweet graft! ~ at December 04, 2021 11:13 PM (hOUT3)

297 Relax said the amazon rep, we are programmed to receive.
You can cancel anytime you like, but you can never leave.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (kTF2Z)

----------

Watch for the letter from my lawyer.

Posted by: Glenn Frey at December 04, 2021 11:13 PM (VxC1e)

298 Lost Boys was about making gay vampires? That apparently went way way over my head. Especially with Jamie Gertz.

I only vaguely recall that a number of girls I knew liked the movie because all of the pretty boys in it. But...looking back it was definitely playing with the vampire = gay theme. Which is certainly not new.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:13 PM (ESjRY)

299 I messed with it for a couple of hours after getting back to the house, and I am now pretty confident it will shoot.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Idiot.

Let me hold that

Posted by: A. Baldwin at December 04, 2021 11:14 PM (QzkSJ)

300 A week or so ago I got a notice from Union City TN for speeding. Camera cam got me on the way home from the MoMe. Bastids.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:59 PM (mD/uy)

I got a red light camera ticket in N.O. while driving my Mom' car. I thought about sloughing it off on her but she was in an assisted living facility at the time so...

Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 11:14 PM (AmoqO)

301 AOP, how is old Joe?

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 11:14 PM (qpolg)

302
At this peaceful and holy time of year I greet everyone of whatever race, color or creed with a heartfelt "Go to hell".
~~~
Bah! Humbug!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:14 PM (IDhUW)

303
Dear France,

I notice that this letter is not written in German. You're welcome. Also, fuck you.
Posted by: Duke Lowell

Shut 'er down!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 04, 2021 11:14 PM (3l5Yq)

304 I hear in Russia there is a booming business in fake clot shots - they give you a saline shot and pour the poison down the drain.

I wonder how the various vax passports deal with foreign shot records?

Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:15 PM (ESjRY)

305 And the only film he made that had any real impact was The Lost Boys...which is a very gay take on a vampire turning a group of boys gay, sorry, vampiric. Quite a metaphor...and very very gay.
Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:04 PM (ESjRY)

Schumacher's Batman couldn't have been gayer if they pierced his batnipples and then 69'd Robin.

Man, I haven't seen The Lost Boys in forever. Like since I was a wee lad. I don't recall it being gay. Then again I didn't recall Interview With The Vampire being gay until I watched it again until a couple of years ago. Holy shit, that was gayer than Zombie's photo essays of Fulsom Street!

Posted by: Robert at December 04, 2021 11:15 PM (ZuEiM)

306 294 The simple solution is just to use someone else's Amazon Prime account.
Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:12 PM (vuisn)

I thought that was just for Net Flix

Posted by: Mis Hum's Kids at December 04, 2021 11:15 PM (aA3+G)

307 Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:13 PM (ESjRY)

The head vampire was trying to bed the kid's mom and the older brother was hot for Jamie Gertz. I don't see a gay theme at all.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:16 PM (iXJM1)

308 Measure twice, cut once isn't just for tailors.
Posted by: Epobirs at December 04, 2021 10:13 PM (uNrGf)

Now there is a nic that Ihave not seen in many a moon! Hope you are doing well.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 04, 2021 11:16 PM (P3gRi)

309 The simple solution is just to use someone else's Amazon Prime account.
~~~
Simple and elegant. This might be a good solution for me.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:16 PM (IDhUW)

310 Schumacher did Falling Down with Michael Douglas and two John Grisham movies. Also, 8mm with Nicolas Cage. Very eclectic filmography and not everything he did was exceedingly gay. However, he was tangentially connected to the whole Studio 54 scene via Halston, so there's that.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 11:16 PM (+WWsf)

311 I thought that was just for Net Flix
Posted by: Mis Hum's Kids

Works for PornHub too

Posted by: Mis Hum's neighbor's kids at December 04, 2021 11:17 PM (QzkSJ)

312 I thought that was just for Net Flix
Posted by: Mis Hum's Kids at December 04, 2021 11:15 PM (aA3+G)

---------

It works for Disney+ too.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:17 PM (VxC1e)

313 311 I thought that was just for Net Flix
Posted by: Mis Hum's Kids

Works for PornHub too
Posted by: Mis Hum's neighbor's kids at December 04, 2021 11:17 PM (QzkSJ)

***SNORT***

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 04, 2021 11:17 PM (aA3+G)

314 Posted by: Robert at December 04, 2021 11:15 PM (ZuEiM

Agree. Interview with a Vampire was overtly gayer than gay.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:17 PM (iXJM1)

315 Then again I didn't recall Interview With The Vampire being gay until I watched it again until a couple of years ago.

Ann Rice is one of those women really, really into male homosexuals. I wonder if she's going to go the Ellen Page route at some point.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:18 PM (ESjRY)

316 The simple solution is just to use someone else's Amazon Prime account.
Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:12 PM (vuisn)

I thought that was just for Net Flix
~~~
I think it would work. Just have to watch adress and payment method when placing an order.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:18 PM (IDhUW)

317 222 Duke Lowell

If you ever get near Manhattan, let me know. We can have an informal tiny MoMeet. And welcome un advance to Missouri.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at December 04, 2021 10:52 PM

Hi NaCly!

If you ever find yourself short a Moron for a miniMoMe, then give me a shout!

I currently have a kid in Lawrence, a kid in KC, and a nephew in Manhattan.

A short roadtrip to see Morons and family would definitely be a welcome diversion from some of my current drudgery.

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at December 04, 2021 11:18 PM (tkyK5)

318 Okay, I may have to order a copy of The Lost Boys.

No homo.

Posted by: Robert at December 04, 2021 11:19 PM (ZuEiM)

319 Posted by: Glenn Frey at December 04, 2021 11:13 PM (VxC1e)

-----------

Well, you're dead so...

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 11:19 PM (kTF2Z)

320 though George Clooney, of all people, admitted Schumacer told him to play the character as gay.

It would be so difficult for clooney to play a character as gay.

Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 11:19 PM (FFsBN)

321 use someone else's Amazon Prime account
I thought that was just for Net Flix
Posted by: Mis Hum's Kids

Geez, that's what mom does.

Posted by: Infidel 's kids at December 04, 2021 11:19 PM (qpolg)

322 Agree. Interview with a Vampire was overtly gayer than gay.

Wish someone would have told me that. I mean that does explain all those guys showering with me after shooting was over though now that I think about it.

Posted by: Tom Cruise at December 04, 2021 11:19 PM (ESjRY)

323 I want to give props to EWF, whose music has provided the accompaniment to my time-passing with a number of wonderful, lovely ladies.

Thanks, guys!

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:20 PM (2ABQr)

324 306 294 The simple solution is just to use someone else's Amazon Prime account.
Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:12 PM (vuisn)

I thought that was just for Net Flix
Posted by: Mis Hum's Kids at December 04, 2021 11:15 PM (aA3+G)

That, too. I also use someone else's Hulu and Disney Plus through a Roku and flat screen someone gave me as a gift. Would never think of paying money for those.

I rarely pay for most of the entertainment I get.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:20 PM (vuisn)

325 Ann Rice is one of those women really, really into male homosexuals. I wonder if she's going to go the Ellen Page route at some point.
Posted by: 18-1 at December 04, 2021 11:18 PM (ESjRY)

----------

Mrs. Cicero has a female friend who's obsessed with gay males. I refuse to hang out with them in West Hollywood bars but that's her thing. To each his/her own, but I don't get it at all.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:21 PM (VxC1e)

326
Idiot.

Let me hold that
Posted by: A. Baldwin

Everybody duck!!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (IDhUW)

327

The lovely and long-suffering Mrs Z is subscribed to every streaming service in the galaxy!

Posted by: Zettai at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (f4kZ4)

328
It would be so difficult for clooney to play a character as gay.

Ok, fine smart alec. I do have the hots for a guy...and please don't tell me wife.

But you see that guy is...me. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard

Posted by: George Clooney at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (ESjRY)

329 I'm surprised the Church of Scientology allowed Cruise to play that part. He must be a bigger shot caller in the Church than I thought.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (iXJM1)

330 Curtis Mayfield, too.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (2ABQr)

331 Only here would you find that everyone knows the words to My Fair Lady, Wizard of Oz and Mary Poppins

Along with the poems from Rudyard Kipling, Yeats and Shelley...I could recite the following:

"Arethusa arose
From her couch of snows
In the Acroceraunian mountains,---"

And the Horde would know instantly what movie this was quoted in...

It's an amazing place, this is, of like-minded souls....

Posted by: Boswell at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (5iUNf)

332 Remove fries. Add onion.

Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (csEWM)

333 Posted by: Pillage Idiot at December 04, 2021 11:18 PM (tkyK5)

---------

My oldest son is at KU in Lawrence

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (kTF2Z)

334 290 240 230 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.
Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 10:55 PM (AmoqO)

...and you paid it?!?!
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:57 PM (BgMrQ)

Yeah, what are they going to do if you don't pay, extradite you?

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (+lVUW)

The bill comes through from Hertz, or from whomever you rent from. They have stroke, especially if you want to rent again there.

Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 11:23 PM (AmoqO)

335 Weird thing is, most gay dudes kinda hate chicks. For the obvious reasons

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:23 PM (2ABQr)

336 I only vaguely recall that a number of girls I knew liked the movie because all of the pretty boys in it. But...looking back it was definitely playing with the vampire = gay theme. Which is certainly not new.

Both get liquid protein by sucking on something, so it's not like it's a huge stretch.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 11:24 PM (SchxB)

337 The fries go next to the burger, silly

Posted by: San Franpsycho at December 04, 2021 10:02 PM (EZebt)

*nods* Not only that, but it would take me 3 sittings to eat all that burger. Some of the fries. And a portion of the bun. Carbs, ya know.

*sad eyes*

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 04, 2021 11:24 PM (F0YaR)

338 Is that crochet thing from the 70's?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:24 PM (csEWM)

339 >>>But you see that guy is...me. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard
Posted by: George Clooney at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM (ESjRY)
--------------

No Gerorge I wouldn't fuck you you've fucked yourself so many times there's no there there.

Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 11:24 PM (FFsBN)

340 I despise fag hags. Actual gays are fare more tolerable than those wretched, insufferable cat ladies who adore the gays.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at December 04, 2021 11:25 PM (QU5/8)

341 What was the movie where Clooney builds that dildo machine?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:25 PM (2ABQr)

342 I had a medium well burger with lettuce, american cheese, onion, mayo and ketchup today. Along with a big side of cheesy bacon tater tots.

It was good.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (csEWM)

343 Lots of fag hags out there.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (iXJM1)

344 What's up with Curtis Mayfield?

Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (FFsBN)

345 What was the movie where Clooney builds that dildo machine?
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:25 PM (2ABQr)

----------

The Wizard of Sybian?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (VxC1e)

346 Actual gays are fare more tolerable than those wretched, insufferable cat ladies who adore the gays.

This is about me isn't it?

I swear Anderson Cooper ass is just to die for!

Posted by: Kathy Griffin at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (ESjRY)

347 Only here would you find that everyone knows the words to My Fair Lady, Wizard of Oz and Mary Poppins

Along with the poems from Rudyard Kipling, Yeats and Shelley...I could recite the following:

Posted by: Boswell

. . . . And Animal House, Life of Brian, and can quote from Dante's Divine Comedy and Princess Bride. "There once was a man from Nantucket. . . " is on our radar too.

This makes me smile and scares the hell out of me at the same time.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (mD/uy)

348 341 What was the movie where Clooney builds that dildo machine?
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:25 PM (2ABQr)

*goes to IMDB*

Posted by: Shep! at December 04, 2021 11:27 PM (csEWM)

349 There is not one Clooney movie I have liked.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:27 PM (iXJM1)

350 324 306 294 The simple solution is just to use someone else's Amazon Prime account.
Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:12 PM (vuisn)

I also use someone else's Hulu and Disney Plus through a Roku and flat screen someone gave me as a gift. Would never think of paying money for those.

I rarely pay for most of the entertainment I get.
Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:20 PM (vuisn)

And if you lived in San Fran, you'd never have to pay for anything at a retail store again. So long as you steal, er, take no more than $950 worth at a time.

Posted by: Rusty Trawler at December 04, 2021 11:27 PM (1gif2)

351 Burn After Reading.

The fuck chair.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at December 04, 2021 11:28 PM (QU5/8)

352 What's up with Curtis Mayfield?
Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (FFsBN)

I don't know. I assume if he's alive, he's still crushing it, though.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:28 PM (2ABQr)

353 348 341 What was the movie where Clooney builds that dildo machine?
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:25 PM (2ABQr)

*goes to IMDB*

Posted by: Shep! at December 04, 2021 11:27 PM (csEWM)

"Burn After Reading"

Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 11:28 PM (AmoqO)

354 I despise fag hags. Actual gays are fare more tolerable than those wretched, insufferable cat ladies who adore the gays.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls

They are not!!
-- Bette Midler

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 11:28 PM (mD/uy)

355 I think some women think that the gay guys are some sort of Man Whisperer who will let them in on the secret. Give them some sort of leg up in dating.

The sad part: they see into the mind of Gay Dudes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:28 PM (csEWM)

356 There is not one Clooney movie I have liked.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:27 PM (iXJM1)

--------

Oceans Eleven was good except for some enormous plot holes.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:28 PM (VxC1e)

357 Yeah, Burn After Reading.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:29 PM (2ABQr)

358 349 There is not one Clooney movie I have liked.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:27 PM (iXJM1)

I liked Ocean's 11. I'll admit it even if it was full of douche canoes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:29 PM (csEWM)

359 What was the movie where Clooney builds that dildo machine? .

George Clooney and the Dildo Factory

Charlie just won the golden ticket...but little did she know she was about to be in for the ride of her life!

Posted by: Obligatory at December 04, 2021 11:29 PM (ESjRY)

360 My oldest son is at KU in Lawrence

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 04, 2021 11:22 PM

Mine too! (Junior, this year.)

I see I missed NaCly. I just recently hopped into the comments.

I did not see what prompted his offer of a miniMoMe. Are you coming to NE Kansas from far away?

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at December 04, 2021 11:30 PM (tkyK5)

361 Man Whisperer who will let them in on the secret. Give them some sort of leg up in dating.

Let men know you'll put out on the first date and...you'll get a first date? I mean the "gay secret" isn't much of a secret.

Posted by: Obligatory at December 04, 2021 11:30 PM (ESjRY)

362 It was good.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Geez, now I want a sonic garlic bacon burger.

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 11:31 PM (qpolg)

363 The lovely and long-suffering Mrs Z is subscribed to every streaming service in the galaxy!
Posted by: Zettai

Cool.

I don't get half the jokes on the shows from Zeta Reticuli

Posted by: Ancient Miklosian Alien Theorists say YES at December 04, 2021 11:31 PM (QzkSJ)

364 I watched the original Oceans Eleven so didn't bother watching the remake . Could have been a Clooney movie I liked. Alas I will never know.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:32 PM (iXJM1)

365 AOP, how is old Joe?
Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 11:14 PM (qpolg)

Seems pretty good. He is running for Mayor of Fountain Hills, and is selling pink souvenir skivvies to raise mony.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 04, 2021 11:32 PM (P3gRi)

366 Let men know you'll put out on the first date and...you'll get a first date? I mean the "gay secret" isn't much of a secret.
Posted by: Obligatory at December 04, 2021 11:30 PM (ESjRY)

Yeah, exactly. What I mean, my guess is that they think it will let them in on the thinking of straight men.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:32 PM (csEWM)

367 Was it Schumacher who had the parties where they would pass around boys like party favors, including the two Coreys?

Posted by: davidt at December 04, 2021 11:32 PM (0hbQ6)

368
This makes me smile and scares the hell out of me at the same time.

~~~

I agree, the Horde is pretty amazing.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:32 PM (IDhUW)

369 Oceans Eleven was good except for some enormous plot holes.
Posted by: Cicero

I could plug those

Posted by: Fredo Cuomo, with "time" on his hands at December 04, 2021 11:33 PM (QzkSJ)

370 355 I think some women think that the gay guys are some sort of Man Whisperer who will let them in on the secret. Give them some sort of leg up in dating.

The sad part: they see into the mind of Gay Dudes.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:28 PM (csEWM)

Notice how almost none of these chicks are attractive. Theory: it's the only chance they have of hanging out with "hot" guys as no decent-looking straight dude would be seen dead with them.

Posted by: Rusty Trawler at December 04, 2021 11:33 PM (1gif2)

371 There is not one Clooney movie I have liked.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:27 PM (iXJM1)

I don't consider it a "Clooney Movie" but I enjoyed "O' Brother Where Art Thou".

Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 11:33 PM (AmoqO)

372 "There is not one Clooney movie I have liked."

O Brother Where The Fuck Are You?

Posted by: davidt at December 04, 2021 11:34 PM (0hbQ6)

373 Actual gays are fare more tolerable than those wretched, insufferable cat ladies who adore the gays.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls

They are not!!
-- Bette Midler
Posted by: Tonypete

Bear v. cat fight!

Posted by: Miklos, just getting comfortable at December 04, 2021 11:35 PM (QzkSJ)

374 What's up with Curtis Mayfield?
Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (FFsBN)

IIRC, he died tragically young. A great talent.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 04, 2021 11:35 PM (P3gRi)

375 My theory is a gay guy is just a woman that the other woman doesn't have to compete with and can still do all the stuff women like to do.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:36 PM (iXJM1)

376 >>> 372 "There is not one Clooney movie I have liked."

O Brother Where The Fuck Are You?
Posted by: davidt at December 04, 2021 11:34 PM (0hbQ6)

Wasn't that the Q. Tarantino / S. Jackson remake?

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at December 04, 2021 11:36 PM (llON8)

377 Seems pretty good. He is running for Mayor of Fountain Hills, and is selling pink souvenir skivvies to raise mony.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Lol. He's a character. Pink uni's, tents in the desert and green bologna sammies.

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 11:36 PM (qpolg)

378 his makes me smile and scares the hell out of me at the same time.
Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (mD/uy)

Indeed Tonypete, we're betwixt and between the knowledge of our forefathers and folly of our youth...which is rather fine or frightening, depending on what we wish to remember upon in any given the moment.

Posted by: Boswell at December 04, 2021 11:36 PM (5iUNf)

379 @329: "I'm surprised the Church of Scientology allowed Cruise to play that part. He must be a bigger shot caller in the Church than I thought."

I think Rice was explicitly anti-(former)-Catholic at that point in her life, so there was probably some useful crossover there for the Scientologists.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 11:37 PM (+WWsf)

380 Bear v. cat fight!
~~~
My money is on the bear to win this one.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:37 PM (IDhUW)

381
The bill comes through from Hertz, or from whomever you rent from. They have stroke, especially if you want to rent again there.
Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 11:23 PM (AmoqO)

Well fuck me running...

That's dirty pool!

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 11:37 PM (BgMrQ)

382
I think some women think that the gay guys are some sort of Man Whisperer who will let them in on the secret.
------

That's retarded. These chicks all have moms. It's not like they hatched from eggs. Mom can tell them, and so can I ...

I can say it with a whisper or a shout... If you lay it on a mofo and then cook breakfast... you'll probably land him. If you have to get him drunk, then put Alka-seltzer in the OJ at breakfast. All will be forgiven.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:38 PM (2ABQr)

383 375 My theory is a gay guy is just a woman that the other woman doesn't have to compete with and can still do all the stuff women like to do.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:36 PM (iXJM1)

Who she does not have to hate. Huh. I'll buy that too. Even a combination of theories is probably too simple even if we set up a string diagram.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:38 PM (csEWM)

384 My theory is a gay guy is just a woman that the other woman doesn't have to compete with and can still do all the stuff women like to do.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:36 PM (iXJM1)

Correct assessment.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:39 PM (2ABQr)

385 Nobody has ever cancelled Amazon Prime.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:05 PM

I did*. At the start of this year when they decided they would not carry a certain "anti"-trans book. I don't do business with book-banning book sellers.

(if you are being picky, "did not renew", not "cancel")
But I reduced my amazon purchases from an average of $1000 - $2000 a year to $24.99 (bought Sefton's book))

Posted by: Chuck C at December 04, 2021 11:40 PM (EughT)

386 That's retarded. These chicks all have moms. It's not like they hatched from eggs.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:38 PM (2ABQr)

You have met people, right? We're all retarded.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:40 PM (csEWM)

387 Insert inane comment here.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:40 PM (IDhUW)

388 Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:38 PM (csEWM)

Yeah the gay guy friend can tell her she's being a bitch and she'll take it as advice. Her girlfriend telling her the same thing and they won't talk for a month .

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:40 PM (iXJM1)

389 then put Alka-seltzer in the OJ at breakfast. All will be forgiven.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

and shot of Valu-Rite vodka

Posted by: Miklos, how you think the girls got me at December 04, 2021 11:41 PM (QzkSJ)

390 Man Whisperer? Lolol. Lord save me.

Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 11:41 PM (AmoqO)

391 387 Insert inane comment here.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:40 PM (IDhUW)

AK has a good point too, guys.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:41 PM (csEWM)

392 OMG, the Babylon Bee

Unemployment Rate Among Cuomo Brothers Rises To 100%

Posted by: Infidel at December 04, 2021 11:41 PM (qpolg)

393 374 What's up with Curtis Mayfield?
Posted by: Braenyard at December 04, 2021 11:26 PM (FFsBN)

IIRC, he died tragically young. A great talent.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 04, 2021 11:35 PM (P3gRi)

Freddy 's dead...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 11:41 PM (BgMrQ)

394 >>> 386 That's retarded. These chicks all have moms. It's not like they hatched from eggs.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:38 PM (2ABQr)

You have met people, right? We're all retarded.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:40 PM (csEWM)

Not us! We Trust The EXPERTS!!

Posted by: Karen #459157126 at December 04, 2021 11:42 PM (llON8)

395 Insert inane comment here.

If I wasn't so lame, I would.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 11:42 PM (SchxB)

396 Insert inane comment here.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel

Inane's the name, the name's Inane.

Posted by: Miklos, responsive to ever-changing demand at December 04, 2021 11:42 PM (QzkSJ)

397 My oldest son is at KU in Lawrence
Posted by: Duke Lowell

It's a magical place.

Posted by: mindful webworker - obliquely intruding at December 04, 2021 11:42 PM (GxM4+)

398 Skip the OJ and fizzy stuff. Go straight for the Bloody Mary mix and raw egg. And shot of Valu-Rite vodka.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 11:42 PM (+WWsf)

399 Insert inane comment here.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel

Inane's the name, the name's Inane.

Inane in the membrane?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 11:43 PM (SchxB)

400 My wife likes to joke that she has lots of boyfriends, but they're all gay. (They are, I've met them) She says I should be glad, do I want her to try to talk about fashion styles with me? Nope, nope. Give it all to people who don't want to gnaw their leg off rather than listen to that.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 04, 2021 11:43 PM (evAgx)

401 You have met people, right? We're all retarded.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:40 PM (csEWM)

Oh sure, I didn't mean you're retarded. I mean chicks who think that are retarded. A gay dude can't explain why I like chicks any better than I can explain why they want to hammer dudes. It's a mystery.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:44 PM (2ABQr)

402 390 Man Whisperer? Lolol. Lord save me.
Posted by: Javems at December 04, 2021 11:41 PM (AmoqO)

I have found that the most bizarre and inane explanation is often at least partially true.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:44 PM (csEWM)

403 Insert inane comment here.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:40 PM (IDhUW)

AK has a good point too, guys.
~~~
It's about time my inane comments were taken seriously.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:44 PM (IDhUW)

404 I prefer my first date stop me at 2nd base and tell me she'll make it up to me later. Then laugh at my blueballs joke. That's a keeper.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:44 PM (iXJM1)

405 Inane in the membrane?
Posted by: Blanco Basura

Whut?

Posted by: Inane, the bane of membranes at December 04, 2021 11:45 PM (QzkSJ)

406 No blah blah blah

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:45 PM (vuisn)

407 404 I prefer my first date stop me at 2nd base and tell me she'll make it up to me later. Then laugh at my blueballs joke. That's a keeper.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:44 PM (iXJM1)

This. It does not make sense. May not be right- it's just true.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:45 PM (csEWM)

408 Along with a big side of cheesy bacon tater tots...
Posted by: Aetius451AD

I said to Milady Jo, "Here's a good one. Cheesy bacon tater tots!"

She said, "Mmm. Is that one of those things you do in the waffle iron."

Posted by: mindful webworker - obliquely intruding at December 04, 2021 11:46 PM (GxM4+)

409 Okay, it's late. I'm tired. I have a load to move in the morning.

Can I get a prayer request?

Would someone pray that I sleep through the night without waking up from either my shoulder hurting or from a giant throbbing erection? Seriously, if it's not one it's the other and they're both really annoying.

Anyway...stay free and keep the faith.

Night!

Posted by: Robert at December 04, 2021 11:46 PM (ZuEiM)

410 Um, Night Robert.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:47 PM (csEWM)

411 sigh

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:47 PM (K3ZCc)

412 Skip the OJ and fizzy stuff. Go straight for the Bloody Mary mix and raw egg. And shot of Valu-Rite vodka.
~~~
Keep the secrets coming Man Whisperers, I'm taking notes.

*get man drunk in morning*

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:47 PM (IDhUW)

413 ...and you paid it?!?!
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:57 PM (BgMrQ)

Yeah, what are they going to do if you don't pay, extradite you?
Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (+lVUW)

I have a good friend who laughs about how he can never visit Germany again. He got bailed out on drunk driving charges on the Autobahn, and he caught the next plane for the states.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 04, 2021 11:47 PM (evAgx)

414 Okay, it's late. I'm tired. I have a load to move in the morning.

Can I get a prayer request?

--------

Prayer is good but have you tried Ex-Lax?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:48 PM (VxC1e)

415 Evening wood, winter morn.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 04, 2021 11:48 PM (vuisn)

416 Prayers up Robert. Good night.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:48 PM (IDhUW)

417 Oceans Eleven was good except for some enormous plot holes.
Posted by: Cicero

11 and 13, 12 was a shitshow

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:49 PM (K3ZCc)

418 What's wrong c5?

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:49 PM (IDhUW)

419 Yeah, what are they going to do if you don't pay, extradite you?
Posted by: nerdygirl at December 04, 2021 11:11 PM (+lVUW)

----------

I heard they fly you back in Economy class. Can you even imagine?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:50 PM (VxC1e)

420 Posted by: Robert at December 04, 2021 11:46 PM (ZuEiM)

I think you may be sleepwalking and jerking your shoulder out of place IYKWIM.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:50 PM (iXJM1)

421 Hard wood at morning,
Hookers take warning.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:50 PM (csEWM)

422 I have a good friend who laughs about how he can never visit Germany again. He got bailed out on drunk driving charges on the Autobahn, and he caught the next plane for the states.
Posted by: Tom Servo

The vast majority of American men who have visited Germany were in distinct opposition to German law.

Posted by: Miklos, in the relatively Free Zone of America at December 04, 2021 11:50 PM (QzkSJ)

423 I have, or had, thought that if the hq was some sort of ad hoc crime syndicate they would be similar to the ocean's team.

now I have the understanding it would be more golden girls.

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:51 PM (K3ZCc)

424 Robert --
1 - take 3 ibuprofen before bed to maybe prevent the shoulder pain.
2 - empty the tank on that other thing before bed.

Posted by: Doof at December 04, 2021 11:51 PM (mZUr4)

425 I have, or had, thought that if the hq was some sort of ad hoc crime syndicate they would be similar to the ocean's team.

now I have the understanding it would be more golden girls.
Posted by: confederatefifth

Now you see

Posted by: Betty White, Criminal Mastermind at December 04, 2021 11:52 PM (QzkSJ)

426 I have, or had, thought that if the hq was some sort of ad hoc crime syndicate they would be similar to the ocean's team.

now I have the understanding it would be more golden girls.
~~~
Hahaha

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:52 PM (IDhUW)

427 now I have the understanding it would be more golden girls.
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:51 PM (K3ZCc)

---------

Bea Arthur was more of a man than Pete Buttglug will ever be.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:52 PM (VxC1e)

428 Robert --
1 - take 3 ibuprofen before bed to maybe prevent the shoulder pain.
2 - empty the tank on that other thing before bed.
Posted by: Doof at December 04, 2021 11:51 PM (mZUr4)
---------

That seems like sound medical advice.

Burn the heretic!

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (2SdPm) at December 04, 2021 11:52 PM (2SdPm)

429 What's wrong c5?
Posted by: A

that is just my general sentiment these days

I say the same thing before I go to work, eat, or have sex these days.

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:53 PM (K3ZCc)

430 I have, or had, thought that if the hq was some sort of ad hoc crime syndicate they would be similar to the ocean's team.

now I have the understanding it would be more golden girls.
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:51 PM (K3ZCc)

King of Thieves ( 2018 movie)

Posted by: Just a side note at December 04, 2021 11:53 PM (iXJM1)

431 423 I have, or had, thought that if the hq was some sort of ad hoc crime syndicate they would be similar to the ocean's team.

now I have the understanding it would be more golden girls.
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:51 PM (K3ZCc)

Eh, we'd all sit around arguing Star Trek and Boobs while AOP came up with a plan.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:53 PM (csEWM)

432 sorry I missed the Fredo thread this afternoon. It's pretty funny to watch CNN pretend they "just found out!" that what we've been saying about Chris Cuomo for years was not only true, but things were even worse than we thought.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 04, 2021 11:53 PM (evAgx)

433 Posted by: Doof

Herr von Doofmeister!

The Collection of All Musics has been found!

It was in a USB drive on the BACK of the computer!!

Hosannas and Thanks!

Posted by: Miklos, absent of mind at December 04, 2021 11:54 PM (QzkSJ)

434 Bea Arthur was more of a man than Pete Buttglug will ever be.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 04, 2021 11:52 PM (VxC1e)

And had milkers that might in fact work, too.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 04, 2021 11:54 PM (P3gRi)

435 Welll, Robert.

I haven't slept more than four hours in a row in a couple decades

Waking up to a raging hard on next to me would be lovely. Especially if there was some ooompah to follow.

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 04, 2021 11:54 PM (U2p+3)

436 but things were even worse than we thought.
Posted by: Tom Servo

Everything is always worse than you think.

Posted by: Miklos, positive minded Eeyore at December 04, 2021 11:55 PM (QzkSJ)

437 if we were doing an ocean's crew, aop would be the guy that runs the tech stuff, the pinch, the chunnel tunnel thing.

qdpsteve would be matt damn

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:56 PM (K3ZCc)

438 It's the same as it was back when there wasn't an overarching federal surveillance state... You'd commit a crime in Indiana, and then just stay out of Indiana, and not commit any more crimes that might get the Illinois cops asking questions about what happened in Indiana. You just woke up in Illinois, put some Alka-seltzer in your OJ, and moved on.

Now it's a whole lame thing. You have to change your name and everything. Sad.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 04, 2021 11:56 PM (2ABQr)

439 Everything is always worse than you think.
Posted by: M

that is waht unimaginative pessimists say

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:56 PM (K3ZCc)

440 that is just my general sentiment these days

I say the same thing before I go to work, eat, or have sex these days.
~~~

And before commenting, I get it.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 04, 2021 11:57 PM (IDhUW)

441 Herr von Doofmeister!

The Collection of All Musics has been found!

It was in a USB drive on the BACK of the computer!!

Hosannas and Thanks!
Posted by: Miklos, absent of mind at December 04, 2021 11:54 PM (QzkSJ)

Most excellent that you found it! Now you can think of it as a Christmas gift

Posted by: Doof at December 04, 2021 11:57 PM (mZUr4)

442 Especially if there was some ooompah to follow.
Posted by: nurse ratched

Hmmm....

Healthy man-type with lederhosen and Bavarian Oom-pah Band

This may not be easy

But won't say impossible

Posted by: Miklos, always happy to be of assistance at December 04, 2021 11:57 PM (QzkSJ)

443 And before commenting, I get it.
Posted by: Amer

indeed you do!

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 04, 2021 11:57 PM (K3ZCc)

444 Healthy man-type with lederhosen and Bavarian Oom-pah Band

This may not be easy

But won't say impossible
Posted by: Miklos, always happy to be of assistance at December 04, 2021 11:57 PM (QzkSJ)

Isn't Weird Al starting another tour?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 04, 2021 11:58 PM (csEWM)

445 Cuomo brothers stuff goes to show that some people -- especially Jeff Zucker -- honestly thought Andrew was gonna be president someday. They started media grooming him as soon as Trump was inaugurated, and things picked up steam during the daily COVID press conferences. NYC media bubble groupthink is crazy strong in that way.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 11:58 PM (+WWsf)

446 Waking up to a raging hard on next to me would be lovely. Especially if there was some ooompah to follow.

Suddenly travel sites are overwhelmed by single 'rons checking on ticket prices to SeaTac.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 04, 2021 11:58 PM (SchxB)

447 Waking up to a raging hard on next to me would be lovely. Especially if there was some ooompah to follow.
Posted by: nurse ratched at December 04, 2021 11:54 PM (U2p+3)

The wee ones at the Wonka factory just perked up

Posted by: Doof at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (mZUr4)

448 Great news I must share! Just had a long talk with my son, 24, who has decided to act on getting back into community college for the spring semester. He has applied for re-admission and has a well thought out game plan. Hallelujah!

Of all our 4 kids, he had the worst time of it academically in middle and high school during our post-divorce "shared parenting" battles. He lived with her during most of that time (because lax expectations on him) and she really guided him down the path leading away from success.

When he finally came to live with me as a Junior, he had fewer credits than a Freshman. We worked with his HS counselor and by flat out working his ass off continuously for 2 years, he was able to catch up and graduate with his classmates. But he wasn't prepared to succeed at community college and he flamed out in his first semester.

He's matured and grown a lot in the past 6 years and is now mentally ready to take this on and do well because HE wants it.

God does indeed answer prayers.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (4I/2K)

449
Now it's a whole lame thing. You have to change your name and everything. Sad.

~~~
I knew we were being tracked state to state, I didn't realize that we are being tracked country to country. I'm going to run out of aliases.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (IDhUW)

450 Hmmm....

Healthy man-type with lederhosen and Bavarian Oom-pah Band

This may not be easy

But won't say impossible
Posted by: Miklos, always happy to be of assistance at December 04, 2021 11:57 PM (QzkSJ)

A man's got to have real good wind to play Oom-pah, right Mongo?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (P3gRi)

451 Suddenly travel sites are overwhelmed by single 'rons checking on ticket prices to SeaTac.
Posted by: Blanco Basura

TraVelocity

Posted by: Miklos, thinking some noticeable upticking at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (QzkSJ)

452 Fries do not belong on burgers.

Fries REALLY don't belong on double burgers.

That room is best used for extra cheese.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 05, 2021 12:01 AM (Q9lwr)

453 God does indeed answer prayers.
~~~
Thanks for sharing this Count. Praise God!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:02 AM (IDhUW)

454 Well CRAP Seth Rogan is doing DARK WING DUCK AND TMNT, so how is he going to F this up.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at December 05, 2021 12:02 AM (dKiJG)

455 Healthy man-type with lederhosen and Bavarian Oom-pah Band

This may not be easy

But won't say impossible

Seattle isn't that far from Leavenworth, WA. So it may be more possible than first imagined.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:02 AM (SchxB)

456 I got a ticket for 520 Euros in Holland. 45 km over the limit plus it was inclement weather so they add on a bunch of money for that too, plus an ugly American tax and the fact it was a French car must have added 10%. Ok I made the last part up.

But yeah they dont fuck around . Lesson learned.

Posted by: Joe XiDen - I miss the Delta Variant at December 05, 2021 12:02 AM (SaQaK)

457 God does indeed answer prayers.
Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (4I/2K)

Count, it sure sounds like you helped, good on you!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) - Lie back and think of that sweet graft! ~ at December 05, 2021 12:02 AM (hOUT3)

458 God does indeed answer prayers.
Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (4I/2K)

----------

Prodigal sons are discussed somewhere in the Bible, from what I've heard. Good luck to your son.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 05, 2021 12:02 AM (VxC1e)

459 He's matured and grown a lot in the past 6 years and is now mentally ready to take this on and do well because HE wants it.

God does indeed answer prayers.
Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (4I/2K)

Great news! Now that he is more motivated, he may find the courses easier, too.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 12:02 AM (P3gRi)

460 Waking up to a raging hard on next to me would be lovely. Especially if there was some ooompah to follow.

if he is smart he has his clock radio set to use miss american pie as his buzzer.

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:02 AM (K3ZCc)

461 @452: "That room is best used for extra cheese."

Looks like brie on that poutine burger?!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 12:03 AM (+WWsf)

462 Well CRAP Seth Rogan is doing DARK WING DUCK AND TMNT, so how is he going to F this up.

Completely.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:03 AM (SchxB)

463 Fries do not belong on burgers.

Fries REALLY don't belong on double burgers.

That room is best used for extra cheese.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 05, 2021 12:01 AM (Q9lwr)

I would agree with this except in the case of McDonalds. I thought everyone put the fries on the regular hamburgers.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 12:03 AM (iXJM1)

464 Fishing isn't all about the fish.

Posted by: jakee308 at December 05, 2021 12:03 AM (tsmrH)

465 Waking up to a raging hard on next to me would be lovely. Especially if there was some ooompah to follow.

----------

Sing it, sister.

Posted by: Pete Buttglug at December 05, 2021 12:04 AM (VxC1e)

466 God does indeed answer prayers.
Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:00 AM (4I/2K)

This sounds like a similar story with my ex-BiL. He finally got away from his good-timin' momma, buckled down, and became a diesel mechanic. He does well now. I stayed friends with him long after we both got rid of his good-timin' sister.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 05, 2021 12:04 AM (2ABQr)

467 Fishing isn't all about the fish.
Posted by: jakee308 at December 05, 2021 12:03 AM (tsmrH)

Fishing isn't really about fishing!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) - Lie back and think of that sweet graft! ~ at December 05, 2021 12:05 AM (hOUT3)

468 I have to agree, fries added to a burger is similar to painting a 911 in a gucci design.

more is not more

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:05 AM (K3ZCc)

469 @463: "I thought everyone put the fries on the regular hamburgers."

Gotta put the hash browns in their morning sandwiches.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 12:05 AM (+WWsf)

470 Fries REALLY don't belong on double burgers.

That room is best used for extra cheese.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 05, 2021 12:01 AM (Q9lwr)

Poutine is yummy, but there is not nearly enough there to qualify as a serving of poutine.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 12:05 AM (P3gRi)

471 Great news! Now that he is more motivated, he may find the courses easier, too.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Depending on what he has been doing the last six years, he may find that his classmates are idjits, and that includes half the teachers.

Posted by: Miklos, taking a college class hisself right now (exam time!) at December 05, 2021 12:05 AM (QzkSJ)

472 Gotta put the hash browns in their morning sandwiches.
Posted by: Walter Freeman

So...we could make chili with leftover hash browns too?

Posted by: Wendy's at December 05, 2021 12:06 AM (QzkSJ)

473 Yes, this is the best possible thing for him. He bore the brunt of it squarely while his 3 sisters had lesser effects that were not as severe.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:06 AM (4I/2K)

474 445 Cuomo brothers stuff goes to show that some people -- especially Jeff Zucker -- honestly thought Andrew was gonna be president someday. They started media grooming him as soon as Trump was inaugurated, and things picked up steam during the daily COVID press conferences. NYC media bubble groupthink is crazy strong in that way.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 04, 2021 11:58 PM (+WWsf)

the funny thing is, if Andrew hadn't gotten so outrageous with the sexual attacks on every woman he came into contact with, he'd be the odds on fave to be the Dem nominee in 2024.

but now the entire Cuomo family has fallen into disgrace - oh this is just so delicious to take in!!! It's like the fall of the Borgia's or something.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:07 AM (evAgx)

475 Don't go raging on qdp. He just gets a little over the
top some sometimes.

I feel like that, I just don't voice it. He needs to control the asshole part.

Posted by: Infidel at December 05, 2021 12:08 AM (qpolg)

476 I thought everyone put the fries on the regular hamburgers.
~~~
I never have but after seeing that picture, I might just do so.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:08 AM (IDhUW)

477 but now the entire Cuomo family has fallen into disgrace - oh this is just so delicious to take in!!! It's like the fall of the Borgia's or something.
Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:07 AM (evAgx)

---------

The Borgias weren't so bad. Callixtus III was an absolute peach.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 05, 2021 12:08 AM (VxC1e)

478 Callixtus III was an absolute peach.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43)

Technically, Peachriarch

Posted by: Brother Miklos, doing humility and bourbon at December 05, 2021 12:10 AM (QzkSJ)

479 I'd make a little French fry pallet on top of my McDonald burger .

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 12:10 AM (iXJM1)

480 includes half the teachers.
~~~
Only half?

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:10 AM (IDhUW)

481 I thought everyone put the fries on the regular hamburgers.
~~~
I never have but after seeing that picture, I might just do so.

In high school the cool thing to do was to dip your fries in a chocolate shake. Preferably your own.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:10 AM (SchxB)

482 includes half the teachers.
~~~
Only half?
Posted by: AmericanKestrel

Maybe it's a Good School.

Posted by: Pedagogical Miklos at December 05, 2021 12:11 AM (QzkSJ)

483 Etta was one who wasn't a pretty girl, but I'd still do it, because of the voice. That voice was for the lads.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 05, 2021 12:12 AM (2ABQr)

484 In high school the cool thing to do was to dip your fries in a chocolate shake. Preferably your own.
Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:10 AM (SchxB)

Contingent on the shake machine not being broken.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 12:12 AM (iXJM1)

485 He was like a ship that plunged bow first into a deep trough in a big storm and then took ages to break surface again.

I am just overjoyed. Thank you all for the responses.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:13 AM (4I/2K)

486 Etta was one who wasn't a pretty girl, but I'd still do it, because of the voice. That voice was for the lads.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

She was quite OK at any point below 170 pounds.

Posted by: Wait Wait! Stop the Miklos Wedding at December 05, 2021 12:13 AM (QzkSJ)

487 @474: "but now the entire Cuomo family has fallen into disgrace - oh this is just so delicious to take in!!! It's like the fall of the Borgia's or something."

The best part was the slow motion realization that Humpty Dumpty wasn't gonna be put back together again. Andrew floated a trial balloon about running for NY state AG right before Thanksgiving which was bizarre. And it's not like CNN didn't know all about Chris's political fixer work on behalf of his brother and similar sexual misconduct complaints too.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 12:14 AM (+WWsf)

488 She was quite OK at any point below 170 pounds.
Posted by: Wait Wait! Stop the
--------------

hmmm, pedophile?

Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:14 AM (FFsBN)

489 who wasn't a pretty girl, but I'd still do it, because of the voice. That voice was for the lads.
Posted by: Y

is that the same as doing a girl that franks sinatra did because frank sinatra did her?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:15 AM (K3ZCc)

490 Contingent on the shake machine not being broken.

It was a long time ago, before they had scheduled breakages.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:15 AM (SchxB)

491 She was quite OK at any point below 170 pounds.
Posted by: W

mor than 150 is too much to pay for any girl

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:16 AM (K3ZCc)

492 >>> 487 @474: "but now the entire Cuomo family has fallen into disgrace - oh this is just so delicious to take in!!! It's like the fall of the Borgia's or something."

The best part was the slow motion realization that Humpty Dumpty wasn't gonna be put back together again. Andrew floated a trial balloon about running for NY state AG right before Thanksgiving which was bizarre. And it's not like CNN didn't know all about Chris's political fixer work on behalf of his brother and similar sexual misconduct complaints too.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 12:14 AM (+WWsf)

They didn't know. Just like we didn't know about Matt Lauer.

Posted by: MSDNC at December 05, 2021 12:16 AM (llON8)

493 mia farrow - skinny bird

Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:16 AM (FFsBN)

494 Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 05, 2021 12:01 AM (Q9lwr)

CBD - I returned from Kentucky today. 8 bottles of bourbon returned with us. When are you planning to take your trip? Standing by for an email from you so I can offer suggestions for your planning.

Posted by: Doof at December 05, 2021 12:16 AM (mZUr4)

495 Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:14 AM (FFsBN)

Wut?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 05, 2021 12:16 AM (2ABQr)

496 is that the same as doing a girl that franks sinatra did because frank sinatra did her?
Posted by: confederatefifth

Ask not what your President can do for you; ask what you can do for your President

Posted by: Miklos thinks there's a list at December 05, 2021 12:17 AM (QzkSJ)

497 bidens vs cuomos cbs survivor zemlya island 2022

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:17 AM (K3ZCc)

498 @490: "It was a long time ago, before they had scheduled breakages."

https://mcbroken.com

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 12:18 AM (+WWsf)

499 Etta weighted 170 lbs when she was 12 years old.

Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:18 AM (FFsBN)

500 mor than 150 is too much to pay for any girl
Posted by: confederatefifth

20 quid, same as in town, luv

Posted by: Eliza Doolittle at December 05, 2021 12:18 AM (QzkSJ)

501 mor than 150 is too much to pay for any girl
Posted by: confederatefifth

20 quid, same as in town, luv
Posted by: E

so 150 gets me seven days and unnlimited balls?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:19 AM (K3ZCc)

502 She was quite OK at any point below 170 pounds.
Posted by: W

mor than 150 is too much to pay for any girl
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:16 AM (K3ZCc)

Isn't there a Rule Of Thumb that the woman shouldn't weigh more than 2/3 - 3/4 of what the man weighs?

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:19 AM (4I/2K)

503 Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:18 AM (FFsBN)

Ooooh... Ouch!

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 05, 2021 12:19 AM (2ABQr)

504 Yikes, 170 at 12, is that true?

Posted by: Infidel at December 05, 2021 12:19 AM (qpolg)

505 Ask not what your President can do for you; ask what you can do for your President
Posted by: Miklos thinks there's a list at December 05, 2021 12:17 AM (QzkSJ)
------------

They would have killed him if they could have gotten away with it.

Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:20 AM (FFsBN)

506 if it were not for the internets there is a bunch of stuff I would never have run into

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:20 AM (K3ZCc)

507 Standing by for an email from you so I can offer suggestions for your planning.
Posted by: Doof

He speled "planning" rite.

I would trust this man.

Posted by: Miklos, still struggling with imperfection at December 05, 2021 12:20 AM (QzkSJ)

508 Ooooh... Ouch!
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at

It was a joke.

Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:20 AM (FFsBN)

509 Isn't there a Rule Of Thumb that the woman shouldn't weigh more than 2/3 - 3/4 of what the man weighs?

If it isn't, it should be.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:22 AM (SchxB)

510 Isn't there a Rule Of Thumb that the woman shouldn't weigh more than 2/3 - 3/4 of what the man weighs?
Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:19 AM (4I/2K)

That, and as a SEAL Master Chief once told me over Beers, never bed a woman who can whup ya.

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 05, 2021 12:22 AM (oHd/0)

511 504 Yikes, 170 at 12, is that true?
Posted by: Infidel at December 05, 2021 12:19 AM (qpolg)
----

For sure? No. Was she been fat all her life? Think so.

Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:22 AM (FFsBN)

512 Isn't there a Rule Of Thumb that the woman shouldn't weigh more than 2/3 - 3/4 of what the man weighs?

If it isn't, it should be.
Posted by: Blanco Basura

IIRC, Montana has, or had, a law that no woman weighing over 200 pounds my ride horseback wearing shorts (which you wouldn't want to do anyway).

Posted by: Miklos, eating peanuts in church is illegal in Georgia at December 05, 2021 12:24 AM (QzkSJ)

513 you have to have a girl that is tiny so that you have the ability to evacuate her in an emergency.

what's her name, the crawford girl, is cute but 6'1 is a bunch of girl to toss over your shoulder when she is wearing a rig with some ar500 font and back and carrying an ar10

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:24 AM (K3ZCc)

514 Interesting how we read comments and add our own tone.

My impression of qdp is that he is unsure of how to interact and is trying to find his way.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:24 AM (IDhUW)

515 88 84 No obligatory "didn't have a leg to stand on" legal joke?

Posted by: Tonypete at December 04, 2021 10:17 PM (mD/uy)

I'm stumped...
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at December 04, 2021 10:21 PM (BgMrQ)
-----
He's a shoe-in for a loafer.

Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 12:25 AM (qfLjt)

516 For sure? No. Was she been fat all her life? Think so.
Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:22 AM (FFsBN)

There was a video I just saw where she was on the heavy side of pleasantly plump. Early. Very strong voice.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:25 AM (csEWM)

517 Posted by: Doof

He speled "planning" rite.

I would trust this man.
Posted by: Miklos, still struggling with imperfection at December 05, 2021 12:20 AM (QzkSJ)

I proudly display the Miklos Seal of Approval

Posted by: Doof at December 05, 2021 12:25 AM (mZUr4)

518 That, and as a SEAL Master Chief once told me over Beers, never bed a woman who can whup ya.

Even if you're into that sort of thing?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:25 AM (SchxB)

519 But I do love a woman who can sing. I can cook well enough. I can vacuum a floor. I can balance books. But my singing voice peels paint off the walls.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 05, 2021 12:26 AM (2ABQr)

520 what's her name, the crawford girl, is cute but 6'1 is a bunch of girl to toss over your shoulder when she is wearing a rig with some ar500 font and back and carrying an ar10
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:24 AM (K3ZCc)

Get her an AR-15. Lighter ammo. And in an apocalypse situation- you WILL be carrying cindy crawford's ammo.

From gratitude to God if nothing else.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:27 AM (csEWM)

521 My impression of qdp is that he is unsure of how to interact and is trying to find his way.
Posted by: AmericanKestrel

Miss Ace's Finishing School for the Unsure Commenter

Posted by: Miklos, hoping I said that right at December 05, 2021 12:27 AM (QzkSJ)

522 92 I once met a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
-----
Was his foot named Jones perchance?

Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 12:27 AM (qfLjt)

523 518 That, and as a SEAL Master Chief once told me over Beers, never bed a woman who can whup ya.

Even if you're into that sort of thing?
Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:25 AM (SchxB)

SEAL Master Chief... badest of the bad asses... so I don't think that thought ever crossed his mind.

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 05, 2021 12:27 AM (oHd/0)

524 I have a few things for Marine ratched in Japan land. Gotta send express mail to make it for Christmas.

God Bless our troops.

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 05, 2021 12:27 AM (U2p+3)

525 522 92 I once met a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
-----
Was his foot named Jones perchance?
Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 12:27 AM (qfLjt)

Was just an Alias.

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 05, 2021 12:28 AM (oHd/0)

526 Get her an AR-15. Lighter ammo. And in an apocalypse situation- you WILL be carrying cindy crawford's ammo.

From gratitude to God if nothing else.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

So...you'd share her Fox hole?

Posted by: Miklos, hoping I read that right at December 05, 2021 12:28 AM (QzkSJ)

527 That, and as a SEAL Master Chief once told me over Beers, never bed a woman who can whup ya.

I was at the post office the other day and there was this black girl in line in front of me - nice looking, but damn! She was about 6'4", 6'3" easy. Athletic build, too. I'm tall enough that it's rare for me to run into a girl that I look up to. As they say, a whole LOT of woman.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:28 AM (evAgx)

528 For sure? No. Was she been fat all her life? Think so.
Posted by: Braenyard

Sadly, I can believe it. Have a cousin that looked great when she got down to 160. I think she weighs over 300 now. It makes me very sad. I always remember they were "large." Seems to run in the family. Can't imagine the food bill.

Posted by: Infidel at December 05, 2021 12:28 AM (qpolg)

529 That, and as a SEAL Master Chief once told me over Beers, never bed a woman who can whup ya.
Posted by: Romeo13 at December 05, 2021 12:22 AM (oHd/0)

Was this SEAL Master Chief named or related to Joe Tex by any chance?

https://youtu.be/Pkb6OpoL6Z8

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:28 AM (4I/2K)

530 I am a fan of the big Q but I do think he should have found a way to avoid getting gang banned by cobs by now.

he is similar to the girl that is at maury for her fifth show to see which of thirty guys is her baby daddy

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:29 AM (K3ZCc)

531 Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:20 AM (FFsBN)

Sure. I just didn't catch it at first... "Etta was a big bitch when she was 12" didn't land at first. When it finally did, I laughed, but in a guilty way, lol.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 05, 2021 12:29 AM (2ABQr)

532 God Bless our troops.
~~~
Amen.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:29 AM (IDhUW)

533 524 I have a few things for Marine ratched in Japan land. Gotta send express mail to make it for Christmas.

God Bless our troops.
Posted by: nurse ratched at December 05, 2021 12:27 AM (U2p+3)

Send him some beef jerky. I got sick of fish inside of three days during a week trip.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:29 AM (csEWM)

534 Was this SEAL Master Chief named or related to Joe Tex by any chance?

https://youtu.be/Pkb6OpoL6Z8
Posted by: Count de Monet

Joe Tex was ecumenical

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Sdib6gd190

Posted by: Miklos, yeah Brother, I heard THAT at December 05, 2021 12:31 AM (QzkSJ)

535 WRT the surgeon who took the wrong leg, I remember a case back in the '80s where they were supposed to take a compromised kidney, the size of a soccer ball, and ripped the healthy kidney instead. Not a new thing...

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 12:31 AM (AlkyK)

536 I was at the post office the other day and there was this black girl in line in front of me - nice looking, but damn! She was about 6'4", 6'3" easy. Athletic build, too. I'm tall enough that it's rare for me to run into a girl that I look up to. As they say, a whole LOT of woman.
Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:28 AM (evAgx)

Was in a military club in San Diego... pretty woman sitting there as all her friends were dancing... went up and asked her to dance... she initially said no... so I grabbed her hand, to kind of pull her up to go dance... and she stood up... and up... and up... 6ft 5" Marine Seargeant... Had some fun, but as I was ONLY 6 ft tall... I was too short for her in HER opinion.

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 05, 2021 12:31 AM (oHd/0)

537
Get her an AR-15. Lighter ammo. And in an apocalypse situation- you WILL be carrying cindy crawford's ammo.

From gratitude to God if nothing else.
Posted by: Aet

in that scenario I want her to have something heavier since our doctrine requires her to remain within the fortificatin so the rest of us get to go outside and do the dirty work with 300 bo and baynets.

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:31 AM (K3ZCc)

538 God Bless our troops.
~~~
Amen.
Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:29 AM (IDhUW)

Amen X2

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:32 AM (4I/2K)

539 Sadly, I can believe it. Have a cousin that looked great when she got down to 160.

so she was kneeling?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:32 AM (K3ZCc)

540 I think I remember the night Steve pissed off MH for good. I think I came close, that same night. It was probably five years back, now.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 05, 2021 12:32 AM (2ABQr)

541 in that scenario I want her to have something heavier since our doctrine requires her to remain within the fortificatin so the rest of us get to go outside and do the dirty work with 300 bo and baynets.
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:31 AM (K3ZCc)

You've put some thought into this, I see. Not a bad idea to game out likely situations.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:34 AM (csEWM)

542 I have a few things for Marine ratched in Japan land. Gotta send express mail to make it for Christmas.

God Bless our troops.
Posted by: nurse ratched at December 05, 2021 12:27 AM (U2p+3)

Prayers up for you and your Marine, nurse. Please let him know that there are many real Americans who respect and appreciate our military men and women and their families.

Posted by: Doof at December 05, 2021 12:35 AM (mZUr4)

543 You've put some thought into this, I see. Not a bad idea to game out likely situations.
Posted by: Aet

I avoid rigid doctirnes, more of a self synchronizing guy, but it is useful to game things out and be aware of the range of optins and capbilities afforded your gang.

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:36 AM (K3ZCc)

544 I think I remember the night Steve pissed off MH for good. I think I came close, that same night. It was probably five years back, now.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

"Marinate not on ancient offense or animosity; you gotta sous-vide that shit."

Posted by: Blind Monk Chef Miklos of Shaolin at December 05, 2021 12:37 AM (QzkSJ)

545 Hah!

Touche.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:37 AM (csEWM)

546 Hey, nr... Best of luck to your son.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 05, 2021 12:37 AM (2ABQr)

547 142 Well, that guy without legs can be the best knee-walking drunk at the senior center party.

Or Douglas Bader the II. With his own Spitfire and a lot of belted ammo. And anger issues with the political leaders of Austria.
----
LOL, He can never again be the 'sole' of the party.

Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 12:37 AM (qfLjt)

548 Is the USO still a good organization? I got mail from them and SA today. Guess which went into the trash.

Posted by: Infidel at December 05, 2021 12:41 AM (qpolg)

549 I was at the post office the other day and there was this black girl in line in front of me - nice looking, but damn! She was about 6'4", 6'3" easy.

---------

So we're back on Amazon Prime then.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 05, 2021 12:41 AM (VxC1e)

550 504 Yikes, 170 at 12, is that true?
Posted by: Infidel at December 05, 2021 12:19 AM (qpolg)

my wife and I were just mentioning how in recent years, a local high school football team had no problem finding four 350 pound offensive linemen, all of them 16 years old. yeah it's boys but day-ummm!

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:42 AM (evAgx)

551 So we're back on Amazon Prime then.
Posted by: Cicero

You

People

Posted by: Miklos, austere bibulous scholar at December 05, 2021 12:42 AM (QzkSJ)

552 I've seen dozens of qdp's in my life . Well intentioned but try too hard. A little lack of self awareness.

If you're wondering I got my psych degree at a two day stay at the Holiday Inn.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 12:42 AM (iXJM1)

553 my wife and I were just mentioning how in recent years, a local high school football team had no problem finding four 350 pound offensive linemen, all of them 16 years old. yeah it's boys but day-ummm!
Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:42 AM (evAgx)
------
Were they Samoan?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 12:43 AM (AlkyK)

554 four 350 pound offensive linemen, all of them 16 years old. yeah it's boys but day-ummm!
Posted by: Tom Servo

I predict great careers as Samoan Lawyers.

Posted by: Miklos, who might need a Samoan Lawyer one day at December 05, 2021 12:43 AM (QzkSJ)

555 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SAMOAN GUYS ARE REALLY REALLY FAT

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at December 05, 2021 12:44 AM (VxC1e)

556 A little lack of self awareness.

What is this "self awareness" thing I keep hearing about?

Posted by: Miklos, blissfully oblivious at December 05, 2021 12:45 AM (QzkSJ)

557 I've seen dozens of qdp's in my life . Well intentioned but try too hard. A little lack of self awareness.

If you're wondering I got my psych degree at a two day stay at the Holiday Inn.
Posted by: J

there have been some very specific things such as "do not ever fucking share another fucking lnk from that fucking site, fucking ever, fucking again"

then he did it again.

As I said, I am a fan, but he does seem to enjoy the excitement of bannicide by cob.

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:45 AM (K3ZCc)

558 I'm getting a Canadian vibe from that burger up top

Posted by: banana Dream at December 05, 2021 12:45 AM (l6b3d)

559 Guy "plays" with 57 mm WWII shell. Would have been a huge pain in the ass if it had gone off: https://bit.ly/31ybHat

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:46 AM (SchxB)

560 Posted by: Miklos, blissfully oblivious
~~~
You found NaCly's bliss!!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:46 AM (IDhUW)

561 541 in that scenario I want her to have something heavier since our doctrine requires her to remain within the fortificatin ...

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:31 AM (K3ZCc)
----------

But if you're going to carry her on your shoulders you'll be carrying that heavy weapon too?

Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:47 AM (FFsBN)

562 I am now listening to James Brown, Live in Paris singing Frank Sinatra

Whole lotta appropriatin' goin' on up in there

Posted by: Miklos, blissfully entertained at December 05, 2021 12:47 AM (QzkSJ)

563 Guy "plays" with 57 mm WWII shell. Would have been a huge pain in the ass if it had gone off

---------

Oh yeah. Those are the things that bounced right off of T-34s.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 05, 2021 12:48 AM (VxC1e)

564 who was the red headed guy they disassembld in the tub in the sopranos?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:48 AM (K3ZCc)

565 But if you're going to carry her on your shoulders you'll be carrying that heavy weapon too?

Posted by: B

I made note of that in the initial comment, so yes

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:49 AM (K3ZCc)

566 You found NaCly's bliss!!
Posted by: AmericanKestrel

He was kind enough to send a Sample Portion

Monthly subscription costs money though

Posted by: Miklos, blissfully imbibing at December 05, 2021 12:50 AM (QzkSJ)

567 563 Guy "plays" with 57 mm WWII shell. Would have been a huge pain in the ass if it had gone off
---------
Oh yeah. Those are the things that bounced right off of T-34s.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 05, 2021 12:48 AM (VxC1e)

well in this case, it bounced right IN. Oh, but this was an 'Accident". Yeah, everyone has "accidents" where they shove stuff up their ass.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:51 AM (evAgx)

568 230 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.

---
Is this a new Nigerian scam?

Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 12:51 AM (qfLjt)

569 Guy "plays" with 57 mm WWII shell. Would have been a huge pain in the ass if it had gone off: https://bit.ly/31ybHat
Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 12:46 AM (SchxB)
--------
One of the crew on my Dad's boat in WWII was a brilliant cook, but completely clueless in so many ways. They found him playing with a 40mm antiaircraft round one day and took it away from him...

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 12:51 AM (AlkyK)

570 563 Guy "plays" with 57 mm WWII shell. Would have been a huge pain in the ass if it had gone off
---------
Oh yeah. Those are the things that bounced right off of T-34s.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 05, 2021 12:48 AM (VxC1e)

well in this case, it bounced right IN. Oh, but this was an 'Accident". Yeah, everyone has "accidents" where they shove stuff up their ass.
Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:51 AM (evAgx)

A million to one shot!

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 12:51 AM (4I/2K)

571 I think some cat hoarked up that dude at the end as part of a hair ball.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 05, 2021 12:52 AM (l6b3d)

572 well in this case, it bounced right IN. Oh, but this was an 'Accident". Yeah, everyone has "accidents" where they shove stuff up their ass.
Posted by: Tom Servo at December 05, 2021 12:51 AM (evAgx)

Go to Africa and get hunted by lions if you want to feel alive. Dear Lord.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:52 AM (csEWM)

573 Dad's boat in WWII was a brilliant cook, but completely clueless in so many ways. They found him playing with a 40mm antiaircraft round one day and took it away from him...
Posted by: Captai

some friends of friends, which are often the best sort of friends, who were idiots, enjoyed setting off cartridges with the burners of their stove

fired the rounds into the ceiling

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 12:54 AM (K3ZCc)

574 That 57mm shell is about as big as your fist if you need to form a picture in your head.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 12:54 AM (iXJM1)

575 Go to Africa and get hunted by lions if you want to feel alive. Dear Lord.
~~~
Now I want to watch the video of the reunion between the lion and the trainers again.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:54 AM (IDhUW)

576 Go to Africa and get hunted by lions if you want to feel alive. Dear Lord.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:52 AM (csEWM)
------------
After the '94 Northridge Hills earthquake, I went to Kaiser Panorama and helped evacuate patients from the upper floors down to the lower floors. That's as alive as I care to feel.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 12:56 AM (AlkyK)

577 So Stelter says now that Cuomo was a huge problem for a lot of people. So, brave truth teller: why are you only saying this now that he is safely fired you big fat fucking coward?

I HATE these people with a violent passion. They talked such a huge fucking game the past four years about how they were speaking truth to power WHEN THEY KNEW NOTHING WOULD EVER BE DONE TO THEM!

But when it come to real consequences like for example Chris Cuomo being pissed at them and affecting their job, they stayed mum as church mice.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:57 AM (csEWM)

578 Blanco - jeebus.

"One in a million shot, doc!"

I guess?

I imagine an artillery shell in the place where the sun don't shine has to rank up there with the global all-time emergency room stories.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 05, 2021 12:58 AM (OTzUX)

579 [Oxford High] Oakland County sheriff officials blamed the county prosecutor ..."In my entire 44-year career, I have never, ever seen a prosecutor announce charges in a major case without the suspect being in custody first,"

Posted by: Braenyard at December 05, 2021 12:58 AM (FFsBN)

580 The significant other of that dude in the yarn atrocity in the last picture must give one hell of a hummer.....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas - AoS Ladies' Brigade Plucky Comic Relief at December 05, 2021 12:58 AM (SRRAx)

581 Now I want to watch the video of the reunion between the lion and the trainers again.
Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 12:54 AM (IDhUW)

Those are good videos. The elephant ones are awesome too.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 12:58 AM (csEWM)

582 nurse is he on Oki or at Iwakuni?

Posted by: rhomboid at December 05, 2021 12:59 AM (OTzUX)

583 266 I figured that this new car could be my last if "things" don't go well.

----------

Do you have any idea how big the hole has to be for one of those things?

PRO-TIP: Pre-pay the backhoe service company.
----

Have backhoe, will travel.

Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 01:00 AM (qfLjt)

584 Of interest to publius: https://bit.ly/3EpBoIY

(That's code for 'rona crap.)

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 01:01 AM (SchxB)

585 580 The significant other of that dude in the yarn atrocity in the last picture must give one hell of a hummer.....
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas - AoS Ladies' Brigade Plucky Comic Relief at December 05, 2021 12:58 AM (SRRAx)

He probably does.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Sexual Racist. at December 05, 2021 01:03 AM (II3Gr)

586 I think Oakland County is the one where a couple of real reporters traveled at the height of the 2020 campaign and were stunned to hear the Biden "campaign" was invisible and basically unheard from. The local Dems were stunned by it all, too. A battleground county that has been an intense hub of prez campaign activity in every campaign since the late 80s. And nothing from the Dem candidate.

One of the many, many, many indirect and non-concrete reasons 2020 doesn't add up (in addition to whatever direct and concrete evidence is ever developed, though I'm pessimistic in view of what's gone on so far).

Posted by: rhomboid at December 05, 2021 01:03 AM (OTzUX)

587
Those are good videos. The elephant ones are awesome too.

~~~

I haven't seen those. I will look them up.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 01:04 AM (IDhUW)

588 have backhoe

will backfill

Posted by: Miklos, seeing a side gig opportunity at December 05, 2021 01:04 AM (QzkSJ)

589 582 nurse is he on Oki or at Iwakuni?
Posted by: rhomboid

Okinawa.

It looks beautiful.

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 05, 2021 01:05 AM (U2p+3)

590 585 580 The significant other of that dude in the yarn atrocity in the last picture must give one hell of a hummer.....
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas - AoS Ladies' Brigade Plucky Comic Relief at December 05, 2021 12:58 AM (SRRAx)

He probably does.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Sexual Racist. at December 05, 2021 01:03 AM (II3Gr)

*golfclap*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:05 AM (csEWM)

591 The ONT is like a complex movie....Don't go to the snack bar, you'll never catch back up.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:05 AM (r1z5A)

592 The ONT is like a complex movie....Don't go to the snack bar, you'll never catch back up.
Posted by: Some Rat

You brought the Junior Mints?

Posted by: Miklos, can recap if needed (not the bottle) at December 05, 2021 01:06 AM (QzkSJ)

593 Don't go to the snack bar, you'll never catch back up.
Posted by: S

it is as a river, which is never entered twice

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:06 AM (K3ZCc)

594 Did kumula date Montel Williams?
Crazy days and nights has a blind that most people think means he and Harris dated snd had threesomes
Id believe it.

Posted by: LASue at December 05, 2021 01:07 AM (Ed8Zd)

595 I imagine an artillery shell in the place where the sun don't shine has to rank up there with the global all-time emergency room stories.

I'm just wondering how clueless you have to be to not only have a live WWII shell lying about, but then decide it would be a good fit for that orifice. It's my understanding that explosives of that vintage may be a bit less than stable, and a sudden bump could set them off. Like, say, hitting a pothole as you drive to the hospital with a bomb in your ass.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 01:07 AM (SchxB)

596 Since we've been talking about tall gels, I will relate the story of a tall gel from my past. She was 6', I'm 6'3", and we met twice at a party hosted by a mutual acquaintance. Both times, we talked all night long, pretty much to the exclusion of everyone else there. She was an engineer for Northrop, working on the B-2. The second time we met, I walked her to her car, and she asked me to hug her. If I had kissed her, would my - our - lives have been different? I don't know.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:07 AM (AlkyK)

597 Before a union strike at Boeing some one set an empty WWII mortar shell on the line after the last shift before striking. Lots of stupid going in there. The company took it personal, found the guy and filed criminal charges. The shell might have had some value to someone at a museum instead of used as a angry prop. There was so much rage between the union and management at every company I've worked at. I've always been trapped in the middle as a non represented non management engineer. But the idea that you'd get so pissed at people instead of just exiting with a hearty fuck you all I'm out of here, I just don't get it.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 05, 2021 01:08 AM (l6b3d)

598 @593: "it is as a river, which is never entered twice"

If by river, you really mean Valu-Rite vodka bottle, then okay; and swigged, not entered.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 01:08 AM (+WWsf)

599 So. qdp got the banhammer? If so, not surprised.

I haven't been around much lately.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 05, 2021 01:08 AM (F0YaR)

600 I remember an earthquake in so cal when I was a kid in the 60's. Thankfully, it was minor or us. House shake, open cupboards, shit falling off shelves. We were little, and m and d played it straight.

Posted by: Infidel at December 05, 2021 01:09 AM (qpolg)

601 I haven't seen those. I will look them up.
Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 01:04 AM (IDhUW)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcTjPAAF3u4

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:09 AM (csEWM)

602 You brought the Junior Mints?
Posted by: Miklos, can recap if needed (not the bottle)

Oops, wrong theater, sorry doc.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:09 AM (r1z5A)

603 Did kumula date Montel Williams?
Crazy days and nights has a blind that most people think means he and Harris dated snd had threesomes
Id believe it.

You can do a goofball search and find pics of the two together.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Not insurgents, counterrevolutionaries. at December 05, 2021 01:09 AM (SchxB)

604 she asked me to hug her

that is what is referred to as the hug off, not even a kiss off

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:10 AM (K3ZCc)

605 So. qdp got the banhammer? If so, not surprised.

I haven't been around much lately.
Posted by: GnuBreed

Oh, I thought it was like a week time out.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:11 AM (r1z5A)

606 Okinawa.

It looks beautiful.
Posted by: nurse ratched at December 05, 2021 01:05 AM (U2p+3)
------------
My Dada was on Okinawa in WWII.

He wasn't one of the people who fought for it, his Rescue Boat Squadron was being transferred there in July of '45.

They were told that they were coming in to Naha, the principal city. So, of course, they were in their Class As, on deck, as they rounded the point and saw that Naha was a smoking wreck.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:11 AM (AlkyK)

607 she asked me to hug her

Sure she didn't say bugger?

Posted by: Miklos, who has admittedly been imbibing at December 05, 2021 01:11 AM (QzkSJ)

608 >>> The significant other of that dude in the yarn atrocity in the last picture must give one hell of a hummer.....
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas - AoS Ladies' Brigade Plucky Comic Relief at December 05, 2021 12:58 AM (SRRAx)

I forgot there was that website that catalogs stupid things women make their guys wear. That's probably where it's from.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 05, 2021 01:11 AM (l6b3d)

609 You brought the Junior Mints?
Posted by: M

that is the mint that epstein served in his island theatre

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:12 AM (K3ZCc)

610 motherhugger!

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:12 AM (K3ZCc)

611 Oh, I thought it was like a week time out.
Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:11 AM (r1z5A)

That's what I thought, too. Which should expire tomorrow, maybe?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:13 AM (P3gRi)

612 Oh, I thought it was like a week time out.
Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:11 AM (r1z5A)

Think it was.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:13 AM (csEWM)

613 I thought it was like a week time out.
Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:11 AM (r1z5A)

That's what I thought, too. Which should expire tomorrow, maybe?
Posted by: Alber

isn't that the same as a miniban, banction?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:14 AM (K3ZCc)

614 Oh, I thought it was like a week time out.
Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:11 AM (r1z5A)

Think it was.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

I could go on Quora and ask

Posted by: Miklos, putting self at some risk at December 05, 2021 01:14 AM (QzkSJ)

615 In other words, qdpsteve is stuck on hold, waiting to renew his platinum membership. I do worry what a week of hold music will do to any moron's sanity though.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 01:15 AM (+WWsf)

616 615 In other words, qdpsteve is stuck on hold, waiting to renew his platinum membership. I do worry what a week of hold music will do to any moron's sanity though.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 01:15 AM (+WWsf)

Be realistic man, most of us would notice no difference.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:16 AM (csEWM)

617 In other words, qdpsteve is stuck on hold, waiting to renew his platinum membership. I do worry what a week of hold music will do to any moron's sanity though.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 01:15 AM (+WWsf)
-----------
I could have sworn that I saw qdpsteve on line just a few days ago.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:16 AM (AlkyK)

618 I could go on Quora and ask
Posted by: Miklos, putting self at some risk at December 05, 2021 01:14 AM (QzkSJ)

*golfclap*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:16 AM (csEWM)

619 @616: "Be realistic man, most of us would notice no difference."

Depends on how much you like Yoko, I guess.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 01:17 AM (+WWsf)

620 Depends on how much you like Yoko, I guess.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 01:17 AM (+WWsf)

Notice we did not lose any regulars?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:18 AM (csEWM)

621 Depends on how much you like Yoko, I guess.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at December 05, 2021 01:17 AM (+WWsf)
-----------
I saw that video of Yoko singing. I doubt if there is a bucket big enough to carry the tune for her.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:18 AM (AlkyK)

622 421 Hard wood at morning,
Hookers take warning.
---
Limp in the night,
Wives in delight.

Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 01:19 AM (qfLjt)

623 I'm not surprised that they got rid of Fredo; the elite rags like Atlantic turning on him was a big red flag that something was about to happen.

Posted by: CppThis at December 05, 2021 01:19 AM (UewuT)

624 Thanks Aetius!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 01:20 AM (IDhUW)

625 I could go on Quora and ask
Posted by: M

that was funny

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:20 AM (K3ZCc)

626 Limp in the night,
Wives in delight.
Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 01:19 AM (qfLjt)

Hah!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:20 AM (csEWM)

627 Okay, so a week time out. Not so bad.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 05, 2021 01:21 AM (F0YaR)

628 624 Thanks Aetius!
Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 01:20 AM (IDhUW)

You're welcome. Lot of good elephant videos on the tubes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:21 AM (csEWM)

629 MSNBC where every unmasked Commie / Psychopath Leftist land on their feet. Cuomo coming soon to a MSNBC theater near you.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:22 AM (iXJM1)

630 the thing is, steve is not here but smash and grab at high end stores in cali are through the roof, coincidence?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:22 AM (K3ZCc)

631 Putting fries on a burger is for those who don't know how the fucking eat fries.

It should be called the Zoolander burger.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 05, 2021 01:23 AM (1t5dY)

632 the thing is, steve is not here but smash and grab at high end stores in cali are through the roof, coincidence?
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:22 AM (K3ZCc)
---------
We haven't seen any of those people shotgunned, so, no, I think not.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:23 AM (AlkyK)

633 629 MSNBC where every unmasked Commie / Psychopath Leftist land on their feet. Cuomo coming soon to a MSNBC theater near you.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:22 AM (iXJM1)

I don't think so. Think he is being lumped in with his brother as safe to expel from the herd. Will give them a bit of an excuse to give the rinos when they go after the next republican.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:23 AM (csEWM)

634 Good night Horde

Thanks for letting me play

Peace

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at December 05, 2021 01:24 AM (IDhUW)

635 Nite, AK!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:25 AM (P3gRi)

636 438 It's the same as it was back when there wasn't an overarching federal surveillance state... You'd commit a crime in Indiana, and then just stay out of Indiana, and not commit any more crimes that might get the Illinois cops asking questions about what happened in Indiana. You just woke up in Illinois, put some Alka-seltzer in your OJ, and moved on.

Now it's a whole lame thing. You have to change your name and everything. Sad.
-----
Name? Now you have to change your face!!

Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 01:25 AM (qfLjt)

637 I don't think so. Think he is being lumped in with his brother as safe to expel from the herd. Will give them a bit of an excuse to give the rinos when they go after the next republican.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:23 AM (csEWM

I figured since it didn't seem that he had any political ambitions that they would keep him as a Leftist mouthpiece somewhere.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:25 AM (iXJM1)

638 Night AK.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:26 AM (csEWM)

639 I don't think so. Think he is being lumped in with his brother as safe to expel from the herd.

steve has a brother!?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:26 AM (K3ZCc)

640 I figured since it didn't seem that he had any political ambitions that they would keep him as a Leftist mouthpiece somewhere.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:25 AM (iXJM1)

But he was useful as a conduit to his brother. His brother is nothing.

Is he a useful and enormously charismatic individual on his own? Nope.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:27 AM (csEWM)

641 I don't think so. Think he is being lumped in with his brother as safe to expel from the herd.

steve has a brother!?
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:26 AM (K3ZCc)
------
He's Bob from the NSA.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:27 AM (AlkyK)

642 steve has a brother!?
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:26 AM (K3ZCc)

Maybe it's ace.

I was thinking while letting out the dog whether the cobs were running a management exercise on us.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:28 AM (csEWM)

643 I was able to get 500 rounds of .22LR ammo for $45, so 9 cents a round. Prices are dropping a little.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:28 AM (P3gRi)

644 Bought a portable hydraulic pump (motor, tank, two position valve). It arrived today, got it out of the box, the motor end was crushed, plastic cooling fan shattered, motor casting cracked. Now the way this thing was packed, it had to have been dropped far enough someone would have said, "wow, that can't be good." no, they just sent it to me and now I get to fight with somebody.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:29 AM (r1z5A)

645 Those creepy santas are definitely spooky. Yarn boy is a stone fag. Yeah, thats all I got.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 05, 2021 01:29 AM (VwHCD)

646 ought a portable hydraulic pump (motor, tank, two position valve). It arrived today, got it out of the box, the motor end was crushed, plastic cooling fan shattered, motor casting cracked. Now the way this thing was packed, it had to have been dropped far enough someone would have said, "wow, that can't be good." no, they just sent it to me and now I get to fight with somebody.
Posted by: S

STEVE!

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:30 AM (K3ZCc)

647 Is he a useful and enormously charismatic individual on his own? Nope.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:27 AM (csEWM)

To the angry Left who latch on to anyone spewing the talking points? Possibly.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:30 AM (iXJM1)

648 I was thinking while letting out the dog whether the cobs were running a management exercise on us.
Posted by: Aet

def

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:30 AM (K3ZCc)

649
To the angry Left who latch on to anyone spewing the talking points? Possibly.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:30 AM (iXJM1)

I don't think so. Like I said, I think he was been made the dick in a struggle session of the Red Guard. Too many ambitious assholes who want his spot.

Of course, I could be completely wrong and he could be Maddow's replacement.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:31 AM (csEWM)

650 STEVE!
Posted by: confederatefifth

That hurt...

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:31 AM (r1z5A)

651 no, they just sent it to me and now I get to fight with somebody.
Posted by: Some Rat

Sounds like you got sump'm to fight about.

Posted by: Miklos, agreeably agreeing at December 05, 2021 01:31 AM (QzkSJ)

652 Bought a portable hydraulic pump (motor, tank, two position valve). It arrived today, got it out of the box, the motor end was crushed, plastic cooling fan shattered, motor casting cracked. Now the way this thing was packed, it had to have been dropped far enough someone would have said, "wow, that can't be good." no, they just sent it to me and now I get to fight with somebody.
Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:29 AM (r1z5A)

Well, that sucks. Who do you go to? The seller or the shipper? I'd guess the seller has more leverage with the shipper.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:31 AM (P3gRi)

653 Posted by: confederatefifth

You can also wear on the nerves at times.

I will shut my pie hole and go to bed now. Be well all.

Posted by: Infidel at December 05, 2021 01:32 AM (qpolg)

654 Night Infidel.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:32 AM (csEWM)

655 That hurt...
Posted by: S

just sayin' he was the guy that sent your stuff, he has to be doing something when he is not here

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:32 AM (K3ZCc)

656
You can also wear on the nerves at times.

I will shut my pie hole and go to bed now. Be well all.
Posted by: I

what the fuck are you yammering about

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:33 AM (K3ZCc)

657 Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:31 AM (csEWM

Hope you're right. Too many of these assholes never feel the consequences for long. Still can't believe McCabe got his full pension restored and back pay plus attorney fees.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:33 AM (iXJM1)

658 Well, that sucks. Who do you go to? The seller or the shipper? I'd guess the seller has more leverage with the shipper.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Went with the shipper...and of course it's the weekend.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:33 AM (r1z5A)

659 Some Rat! What's this about getting together later this month?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:33 AM (AlkyK)

660 >>> Putting fries on a burger is for those who don't know how the fucking eat fries.

It should be called the Zoolander burger.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 05, 2021 01:23 AM (1t5dY)

I think it's poutine. There is a place called The Works in Oakville east of Toronto that had a burger like that called the justin. I'm looking at there menu online and they don't carry it anymore. Hmmm..

Posted by: banana Dream at December 05, 2021 01:34 AM (l6b3d)

661 The other east

Posted by: banana Dream at December 05, 2021 01:35 AM (l6b3d)

662 645 Those creepy santas are definitely spooky. Yarn boy is a stone fag. Yeah, thats all I got.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 05, 2021 01:29 AM (VwHCD)

Yarn boy has a nice target sized hole at the center of his chest which just yells 'Insert Spear Head Here.'

As to those creepy Santas, if I spotted one of them by my mailbox, I'd back up slowly while saying 'nice Santa, that's a good boy' while looking around for a large rock or big stick.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 05, 2021 01:35 AM (F0YaR)

663 just sayin' he was the guy that sent your stuff, he has to be doing something when he is not here
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:32 AM (K3ZCc)

Maybe he's doing DoorDash, and drooling on the cargo. "Gee, i wonder if this chicken-fried rat is made from free-range rats?"

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:35 AM (P3gRi)

664 I think it's poutine. There is a place called The Works in Oakville east of Toronto that had a burger like that called the justin. I'm looking at there menu online and they don't carry it anymore. Hmmm..
Posted by: banana Dream at December 05, 2021 01:34 AM (l6b3d)

Image search returns poutine in the file name. Lot of posts on pinterest.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:36 AM (csEWM)

665 There is a place called The Works in Oakville east of Toronto that had a burger like that called the justin.
-------
I assume that it tastes like postdemocracy.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:36 AM (AlkyK)

666 *ponders*

I would be willing to try chicken fried rat.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:36 AM (csEWM)

667 Well, that sucks. Who do you go to? The seller or the shipper? I'd guess the seller has more leverage with the shipper.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Redchief is heading up this away end of month, hoping for a little meet and greet.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:36 AM (r1z5A)

668
Maybe he's doing DoorDash, and drooling on the cargo. "Gee, i wonder if this chicken-fried rat is made from free-range rats?"
Posted by: Alber

gourmand that he is I think of him adding del taco sauce to everything everybody orders from everywhere

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:37 AM (K3ZCc)

669 Wait. Does it come with gravy?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:37 AM (csEWM)

670 I would be willing to try chicken fried rat.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

try the Cajun

Posted by: Miklos, with horribly run local Popeye's at December 05, 2021 01:38 AM (QzkSJ)

671 Those creepy santas are definitely spooky. Yarn boy is a stone fag. Yeah, thats all I got.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 05, 2021 01:29 AM (VwHCD)

Yarn Boy looks like he is being assimilated by a pot holder.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:38 AM (P3gRi)

672 Yarn boy has a nice target sized hole at the center of his chest which just yells 'Insert Spear Head Here.'

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 05, 2021 01:35 AM (F0YaR)

Lol, it does actually.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 05, 2021 01:38 AM (VwHCD)

673 Steve has a brothel? Wait, what?

Posted by: SFGoth at December 05, 2021 01:38 AM (KAi1n)

674 I would be willing to try chicken fried rat.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

I would think squirrel, rabbit, rat, would all be similar.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:39 AM (r1z5A)

675 I really need to work on my cut and paste skills.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:40 AM (r1z5A)

676 if it has been chickn fried does it even matter what is was before?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:40 AM (K3ZCc)

677 Barney's Burgers in S.F. I wish I could afford them. The voodoo burger is the bomb.

Posted by: SFGoth at December 05, 2021 01:40 AM (KAi1n)

678 Hey! I saw a Dean electric guitar at the gun show today. Had sort of a "V" style body to it.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (P3gRi)

679 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOACRzMDN1k

1922 Wills Sainte Claire. I like the darker green, but not the lighter shade on the car.

I am always amazed at the number of American car makers there were before the depression. Cord, Auburn and Duesenberg are the ones I think of.

Also makes me think of all the businesses who went out of business due to covid. Man made depression. Fuck us sideways.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (csEWM)

680 Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea

Sir, see 667...dang.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (r1z5A)

681 King Rat > Great Escape > Stalag 17

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (iXJM1)

682 >> Of interest to publius: https://bit.ly/3EpBoIY

Thanks -- I've seen that sentiment expressed.

So far, we know this about Moronic. It rips through vaccines like shit through a goose. It appears to cause reinfection even in those with natural immunity.

But so far it appears to be mild. Literally a cold. So far. Vanden Bossche is worried that ADE is possible with it, and what it may mutate into if the public health lunatics keep doing stupid things.

But we can be sure they're gonna keep on doing stupid things.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (Mzdiz)

683 676 if it has been chickn fried does it even matter what is was before?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 05, 2021 01:40 AM (K3ZCc)

That's my point.

Except for shit and insects. I'll draw my line there.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:42 AM (csEWM)

684 Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (csEWM)

Auburns were cool looking. Was that the Jessica Rabbit car?

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:43 AM (iXJM1)

685 King Rat > Great Escape > Stalag 17
Posted by: Just a side note

Man, trying to pick first out of equals.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:43 AM (r1z5A)

686 I am always amazed at the number of American car makers there were before the depression. Cord, Auburn and Duesenberg are the ones I think of.

Also makes me think of all the businesses who went out of business due to covid. Man made depression. Fuck us sideways.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (csEWM)

I toured the Auburn-Cord-Duesenberg Museum in Auburn, Indiana. Pretty damned amazing.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:44 AM (P3gRi)

687 Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (Mzdiz)
-------
Terminology, please. What means ADE?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:44 AM (AlkyK)

688 Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (Mzdiz)
--------
Was "King Rat" made into a movie?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:45 AM (AlkyK)

689 Man, trying to pick first out of equals.
Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:43 AM (r1z5A)

Yeah all good but that's my preference gun to the head.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:45 AM (iXJM1)

690 564 who was the red headed guy they disassembld in the tub in the sopranos?
---
Is that disassembled or disemboweled? LOL both would hurt ....

Posted by: Ciampino at December 05, 2021 01:46 AM (qfLjt)

691 But we can be sure they're gonna keep on doing stupid things.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (Mzdiz)

So, at 2am reasoning, I am wondering if this might not be the best thing possible:
-readily transmissible

-the 'vaccines' they have are not vaccines, so the fact that it cuts through them are not surprising.

-it 'might' lend immunity to an actually more deadly covid strain

-It's effects are actually quite mild (like a parallel might be cow pox vs small pox.)

Maybe, this might give natural immunity to enough people that it ends this shit.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:46 AM (csEWM)

692 >> What means ADE?

ADE = Antibody dependent enhancement. It's when antibodies fail to neutralize a pathogen they target, and instead actually enhance the ability of the pathogen to infect.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 01:46 AM (Mzdiz)

693 I started coming down with a few cold symptoms last night; scratchy throat, nose running, a bit of congestion, no fever...

Doubled up on zinc, vitamin C & D, took an antihistamine -- No symptoms tonight.

Fuckity, I wish I knew about this stuff 29 years ago.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 05, 2021 01:47 AM (F0YaR)

694 Hey! I saw a Dean electric guitar at the gun show today. Had sort of a "V" style body to it.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:41 AM (P3gRi)

Yup, I have a few. One that I have has a wicked flame along the entire surface of the fingerboard made up of different color pearl inlays. Its cool looking, but I can't play it because I can't figure out where the hell I am on the neck with all the inlays. lol. The funny thing is on a classical guitar there are no dot markers of any kind, and I always seem to know where I am, but on this V all the inlays are dizzying.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 05, 2021 01:47 AM (VwHCD)

695 I toured the Auburn-Cord-Duesenberg Museum in Auburn, Indiana. Pretty damned amazing.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:44 AM (P3gRi)

My Dad took me there when I was in high school. Ignited my love of classic cars. They are beautiful.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:48 AM (csEWM)

696 Maybe, this might give natural immunity to enough people that it ends this shit.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:46 AM (csEWM)
-------------
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

They'll never let this shit end.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:49 AM (AlkyK)

697 Auburn Speedster:

https://tinyurl.com/2p965j9e

I like the redheads.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:49 AM (csEWM)

698 We may add Steak Fried Chicken to the menu.

Chicken fried Chicken maybe.

Not sold on the Steak Fried Steak.

Posted by: Crazy Miklos Tzampotli Family Fun Park and self-serve open tequila bar at December 05, 2021 01:49 AM (QzkSJ)

699 AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

They'll never let this shit end.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:49 AM (AlkyK)

Granted- but it might save some old folks lives better than their phoney gene therapy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:50 AM (csEWM)

700 ADE = Antibody dependent enhancement. It's when antibodies fail to neutralize a pathogen they target, and instead actually enhance the ability of the pathogen to infect.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 01:46 AM (Mzdiz)
-----------
Thanks.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:50 AM (AlkyK)

701 Maybe, this might give natural immunity to enough people that it ends this shit.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

You are more optimistic than I. The bug is the vehicle for control. We will have "variants" forever. All will require more and more loss of freedom.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 01:50 AM (r1z5A)

702 Yup, I have a few. One that I have has a wicked flame along the entire surface of the fingerboard made up of different color pearl inlays. Its cool looking, but I can't play it because I can't figure out where the hell I am on the neck with all the inlays. lol. The funny thing is on a classical guitar there are no dot markers of any kind, and I always seem to know where I am, but on this V all the inlays are dizzying.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 05, 2021 01:47 AM (VwHCD)

This one was pretty plain. Mostly an ivory-colored body, pretty much unadorned. Looked like what a Junior Hair Band might start with.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:51 AM (P3gRi)

703 Another gorgeous example:

https://tinyurl.com/mwatcm9j

I miss two tone paint schemes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:52 AM (csEWM)

704 I find hilarious in a sad way that the same people who rail against genetically engineered food line up for mRNA vaxes.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 01:52 AM (iXJM1)

705
If we stopped everything right now, and let Moronic rip through (provided there is no "delayed ADE" -- Vanden Bossche is worried the "mild symptoms" could be an illusion -- only time will tell on that), this thing would end.

Open up, no lockdowns no quarantines, no more vaccination, and let it rip, Moronic could be a "common cold" end state. That is, nature's mutational rolling of the dice and the current selection filters have given us an off-ramp. We should take it.

But they won't.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 01:52 AM (Mzdiz)

706 I find hilarious in a sad way that the same people who rail against genetically engineered food line up for mRNA vaxes.
Posted by: Just a side note

Might need a "NON-GMO HUMAN" t-shirt

Posted by: Miklosian Anti-Marketing SA de CV at December 05, 2021 01:54 AM (QzkSJ)

707 Fined? He should have been fired and imprisoned.
I think you misspelled "had both legs amputated like his patient that he fucked over."

Just a thought.

Posted by: NC Ref at December 05, 2021 01:54 AM (RAodA)

708 Auburn Speedster:

https://tinyurl.com/2p965j9e I like the redheads.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:49 AM (csEWM)

I think that might be a resto-mod, or else a modern reproduction. Wheels look too modern.

Auburns were fast, flashy cars for wealthy young men.

Duesenbergs were big, elegant, and fast cars for old money.

Cords were high tech, front wheel drive, V8 with supercharger, more modern styling.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:56 AM (P3gRi)

709 I think you misspelled "had both legs amputated like his patient that he fucked over."

Just a thought.
Posted by: NC Ref at December 05, 2021 01:54 AM (RAodA)
----------
kudos, newsletter?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:58 AM (AlkyK)

710 All this car companies would have consolidated without the depression. Auto is one of the one businesses where 3 or 4 make it long term. Big 3 in the US, 3 in Germany. The magic number.

Posted by: Joe XiDen - I miss the Delta Variant at December 05, 2021 01:58 AM (SaQaK)

711 I think that might be a resto-mod, or else a modern reproduction. Wheels look too modern.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:56 AM (P3gRi)

I was thinking the same thing after I posted it that the tires looked way too wide. A lot of the pictures have them.

This looks more right:
https://tinyurl.com/ycydmfa4

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 01:59 AM (csEWM)

712 Cords were high tech, front wheel drive, V8 with supercharger, more modern styling.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 01:56 AM (P3gRi)
-------
The Cord in the original Topper movie was frickin' awesome.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 01:59 AM (AlkyK)

713 I'd say a few of those santas have dirt basements...

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at December 05, 2021 02:00 AM (5G5QC)

714 Posted by: Joe XiDen - I miss the Delta Variant at December 05, 2021 01:58 AM (SaQaK)

Germany has four.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 02:00 AM (iXJM1)

715 But they won't.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 01:52 AM (Mzdiz)

Yup.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 02:01 AM (4I/2K)

716 Hey Horde, just stopping by late on a Saturday night, I liked the joke!

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 05, 2021 02:02 AM (a4EWo)

717 Hey Horde, just stopping by late on a Saturday night, I liked the joke!
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz

Tips hat at Ms. Schultz.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 02:03 AM (r1z5A)

718 Is there a more annoying spokeswoman than Kate McKinnon?

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 02:04 AM (iXJM1)

719 Is there a more annoying spokeswoman than Kate McKinnon?
Posted by: Just a side note

Are you hiring?

Posted by: trans-Gilbert Gottfried at December 05, 2021 02:05 AM (QzkSJ)

720 I'd say a few of those santas have dirt basements...
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at December 05, 2021 02:00 AM (5G5QC)
-----------'
One of my professors when I was in the CSUN Theater department worked his way thru college by rewiring people's houses. As this was in Chicago, he worked in a lot of places that had damp earth basements. He electrocuted himself so many times, that, by the time I knew him, he had an amazing collection of physical tics. If you didn't know him, it could be hard to look at him. He was known to my friends as "10K Bellman".

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 02:07 AM (AlkyK)

721
Tips hat at Ms. Schultz.
Posted by: Some Rat

doffs

ONE DOFFS

Posted by: Miklos, of the Austro-Hungarian Old School at December 05, 2021 02:07 AM (QzkSJ)

722 Well, it's midnight, and I need to get an early start tomorrow. Better hit the sack. Night, Horde.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 05, 2021 02:07 AM (P3gRi)

723 718 Is there a more annoying spokeswoman than Kate McKinnon?
Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 02:04 AM (iXJM1)

Ultimate Fuckstick Stephen Colbert. James Corden. Amy Schumer. Kamala Harris. David Hogg. Greta Thuneberg. Melissa McCarthy. Etc, etc, etc.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 02:08 AM (csEWM)

724 Is there a more annoying spokeswoman than Kate McKinnon?
Posted by: Just a side note

What's in your chamber?

Posted by: A. Baldwin for CapitalOne at December 05, 2021 02:08 AM (QzkSJ)

725 Night AOP.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 02:08 AM (csEWM)

726 Goodnight AOP. Time for me to ZZZ out too.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 05, 2021 02:09 AM (4I/2K)

727 Nighters, AOP

Posted by: Miklos, eyelids drooping even more than usual at December 05, 2021 02:09 AM (QzkSJ)

728 Pixy's up!

Posted by: m at December 05, 2021 02:10 AM (6dJKT)

729 Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 02:08 AM (csEWM)

I was referring to her Verizon commercials.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 02:10 AM (iXJM1)

730 Eddie Rickenbacker's autobiography details his experiences in building racing cars and the Indy 500 track along with his youth and war stories. He raced against Deusenbergs. Oh and building an airline. So amazing. Check it out, I love re-reading it.

Posted by: NC Ref at December 05, 2021 02:11 AM (RAodA)

731 Night Count.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 02:11 AM (csEWM)

732 doffs

ONE DOFFS
Posted by: Miklos, of the Austro-Hungarian Old School

Sir, here in AMERICA, we merely tip our hats...No putting on airs here. Nope, by golly.

Posted by: Some Rat at December 05, 2021 02:11 AM (r1z5A)

733 Sir, here in AMERICA, we merely tip our hats...No putting on airs here. Nope, by golly.
Posted by: Some Rat

Old ways are best ways

Posted by: Miklos, checking supply of moustache wax at December 05, 2021 02:12 AM (QzkSJ)

734 I was referring to her Verizon commercials.
Posted by: Just a side note at December 05, 2021 02:10 AM (iXJM1)

I know- just could not resist.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 02:14 AM (csEWM)

735 Eddie Rickenbacker's autobiography details his experiences in building racing cars and the Indy 500 track along with his youth and war stories. He raced against Deusenbergs. Oh and building an airline. So amazing. Check it out, I love re-reading it.
Posted by: NC Ref at December 05, 2021 02:11 AM (RAodA)
-----------
94th Aero Squadron is a fun restaurant in the San Fernando Valley. Check it out if you're ever there, especially on a Sunday morning when you can sit out by the runway and see the small plane pilots doing touch-and-gos.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 02:15 AM (AlkyK)

736 94th Aero Squadron is a fun restaurant in the San Fernando Valley. Check it out if you're ever there, especially on a Sunday morning when you can sit out by the runway and see the small plane pilots doing touch-and-gos.
Posted by: Captain Obvious

Been to the one in San Diego, good lunch.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at December 05, 2021 02:18 AM (5G5QC)

737 So I'm supposed to visit my folks in Paso Robles for Christmas. Could you Cali folks clue me in on what I might have to deal with when I cross the border? Are there Covid tests/do I have to show my vaxx papers to enter CA? By auto....

Posted by: NC Ref at December 05, 2021 02:21 AM (RAodA)

738 Been to the one in San Diego, good lunch.
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings

I want to come for Fly Like Vikings Day

Posted by: Miklos adds to list at December 05, 2021 02:21 AM (QzkSJ)

739 So I'm supposed to visit my folks in Paso Robles for Christmas. Could you Cali folks clue me in on what I might have to deal with when I cross the border? Are there Covid tests/do I have to show my vaxx papers to enter CA? By auto....
Posted by: NC Ref

The black leather trenchcoats they wear at The border checkpoints are actually vegan sustainable BetterThanLeather, if that helps.

Posted by: Free Range Miklos at December 05, 2021 02:24 AM (QzkSJ)

740 The black leather trenchcoats they wear at The border checkpoints are actually vegan sustainable BetterThanLeather, if that helps.
Posted by: Free Range Miklos at December 05, 2021 02:24 AM (QzkSJ)
---------
*gets out thing that looks like torture device but turns out to be hanger for trench coat.*

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 02:25 AM (AlkyK)

741 Mercedes, BMW, VW.
What is Number 4? And if the answer is Porsche or Audi nope... Audi and Porsche and VW are 1 company.

Posted by: Joe XiDen - I miss the Delta Variant at December 05, 2021 02:29 AM (SaQaK)

742 I want to come for Fly Like Vikings Day
Posted by: Miklos

Crash and burn first, then rape and pillage.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at December 05, 2021 02:29 AM (5G5QC)

743 Crash and burn first, then rape and pillage.
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings

Logical

Posted by: Miklos, who should probably do his drinking from the safety of the tower at December 05, 2021 02:30 AM (QzkSJ)

744 *gets out thing that looks like torture device but turns out to be hanger for trench coat.*
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 02:25 AM (AlkyK)

*golfclap for the reference*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 02:31 AM (csEWM)

745 And so, to bed.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 02:33 AM (AlkyK)

746 745 And so, to bed.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 05, 2021 02:33 AM (AlkyK)

What shall we talk about?*

*night Cap'n.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 02:34 AM (csEWM)

747 *clocks out of thread*

Posted by: Miklos, checking watch at December 05, 2021 02:39 AM (QzkSJ)

748 Need some Horde advice. Hubs is finding it really difficult climb into bed now. It is a high four poster with a king mattress on top of twin box springs. What is the easiest way to lower the height of the bed, do they make box springs that are not so thick, obviously a thinner mattress would help too. Does anybody have any recommendations? Maybe I'll just scrap the four poster for now and buy a cheap king platform bed.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 05, 2021 02:41 AM (a4EWo)

749
Same problem with my mother. Bed was too high. We got her one of those adjustable beds (remote control, foot and head lifts). There are no box springs, and the feet are adjustable height. We set it pretty low for her, and it works well for her.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 02:47 AM (Mzdiz)

750 Santa #6 is a lady.

Posted by: DaveinMA at December 05, 2021 02:51 AM (EXQ3n)

751 Debby, have you tried a makeshift ramp or step? I am not really familiar with the situation, just throwing out ideas.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 05, 2021 02:53 AM (csEWM)

752 Hi, DDS! Sorry things are not-so-great now...

Easiest solution is get a plain bedframe, transfer box/mattress stack onto that. Called a "hollywood frame" I believe. Cheap, too. Check thrift stores, they usually have them.

Posted by: JQ at December 05, 2021 03:00 AM (dB4Iz)

753 DDS, not sure what problems Hubs is having, but furniture stores carry portable steps for high beds. Not that you need to carry them around, but you can place them wherever is most convenient.

Posted by: Fou Troll at December 05, 2021 03:06 AM (HLwmB)

754 Aetius, Thanks, he is getting more unsteady on his feet, so I don't think steps or a ramp are a good idea, I need something the right height for him to sit on, most platform beds are pretty low to the ground and I worry that he will have difficulty getting up from a really low position too. JQ, Thank you too, I just want to be sure that he doesn't bang his shins off an exposed metal frame. publius, how much of a budget buster is the adjustable bed? I just bought a new washing machine this morning so it is becoming a pricier than usual December.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 05, 2021 03:10 AM (a4EWo)

755 Steps are difficult for my hubby. Our regular bed was a good height for him but... upstairs! (We did eventually install a stairlift because bath is upstairs and lift was cheaper/faster than adding a bath!)

We sleep on the guest bed now, main floor. It's a converted waterbed-- frame rails removed and mattress-only on plywood platform. (There's a row of drawers underneath) Top of mattress is 24 inches from floor.

It's perfect for hubby and quite comfortable, even without boxsprings. Good mattress! Serta, I think.

Posted by: JQ at December 05, 2021 03:15 AM (dB4Iz)

756 Fou Troll, I just looked them up, maybe a single wide step stool would be at least a temporary solution. I still think that I need to get him a better bed.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 05, 2021 03:16 AM (a4EWo)

757 JQ, I hope that things are going okay for you, you have retired, yes?? How is your hubby doing?

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 05, 2021 03:19 AM (a4EWo)

758 Oh, about the metal frame-- our frame is only 8 inches high. It's 1 inch angle iron, so box spring is held 7 inches above the floor.

No shin bumping, though I *have* stubbed my toe on the caster before...

Always something gonna get ya, LOL

Posted by: JQ at December 05, 2021 03:22 AM (dB4Iz)

759 >> publius, how much of a budget buster is the adjustable bed?

Debby, I want to say the cost was around $1800. There was a sale going on, too. She loves the bed. It's low enough that she can sit on nicely from the floor and get out of it. She has balance problems big time. She had been using a step thing, but she fell one time with that.

The bed has this "zero-g" position that raises the head and a foot to a preset point. She hits that, then adjusts it from there. When she wants to get up, she hits the "return to flat" button, and can easily get out.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion (Mzdiz) at December 05, 2021 03:23 AM (Mzdiz)

760 Thanks for asking, DDS-- Yes, I 'retired' because I wasn't allowed any more Personal Leave of Absence and hubby needed constant supervision. (took 6 months of leave, after running out all FMLA). Put in 27 years at that jerb. Don't know how LOL.

Hubby is doing much better than his Dr's expected! He has... who knows? Maybe a year, perhaps even 3, so they say now.

Posted by: JQ at December 05, 2021 03:28 AM (dB4Iz)

761 Simple bed frame, new. Link goes to HomeDepot:

tinyurl.com/yckk9wfz

Posted by: JQ at December 05, 2021 03:32 AM (dB4Iz)

762 About a month or three after the fact I got a ticket in the e-mail from France, for going 114 in a 100 zone, khp, not mph. Long arm of the law.
Posted by: Javems

Send them a Jerry Lewis movie.

Posted by: JT at December 05, 2021 03:41 AM (arJlL)

763 Thanks JQ, I am off to bed hopefully to sleep.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 05, 2021 03:42 AM (a4EWo)

764 "Send them a Jerry Lewis movie."

Heh, reminds me of one of his (much!) older recordings...

Sunday driving, Sunday driving
Up the steepest hill I'm striving
I'm not quitting
'Til I'm sitting
On the very top...

Posted by: JQ at December 05, 2021 03:45 AM (dB4Iz)

765 Good night, DDS. Pleasant dreams!

.
.

Hi JT!

Posted by: JQ at December 05, 2021 03:46 AM (dB4Iz)

766 publius, Thank you too, hubs mental condition won't allow him to operate any controls to adjust it himself so that seems like kind of a pricey option.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 05, 2021 03:51 AM (a4EWo)

767 DDS, if you're still here-----

If you get that simple frame w/casters, be sure to also get some rubber 'cups' to put under the wheels. Keeps the darned thing from rolling around! Well, unless you *want* to be able to move the bed *very* easily.

Anyway, g'night again.

Posted by: JQ at December 05, 2021 03:59 AM (dB4Iz)

768 There's been alot of sad things happening. ain't gonna let myself get drowned in all that!

Posted by: tech goon at December 05, 2021 04:55 AM (Bm/pz)

769 Facebook Messenger is getting a built-in bill splitting feature

https://tinyurl.com/mrnh2fs7

Posted by: tech goon at December 05, 2021 05:00 AM (Bm/pz)

770 [link=https://tinyurl.com/mrnh2fs7/]Facebook[/link] Messenger is getting a built-in bill splitting feature

Posted by: tech goon at December 05, 2021 05:01 AM (Bm/pz)

771 Good Morning Morons.

Posted by: Vic at December 05, 2021 05:59 AM (mpXpK)

772 About the last five Saturdays I've consumed some amount of college football, primarily SEC. One of the post-game rituals is when the coaches meet in the middle of the field among a scrum of players, media, and various staff. Usually it's a densely packed scene. The coaches are always accompanied by state troopers wearing those big Smokey The Bear hats.

What I began to notice was that NO ONE was wearing masks except the troopers. Really looked silly.

Yesterday in Atlanta the troopers were finally mask free.

Progress?

Posted by: Just sayin' at December 05, 2021 06:28 AM (jYQlA)

773 I read my wife the Saturday Night Joke. She thought it was hilarious. So I asked her, "How many dolls would you have crocheted in our marriage?"

"None", was her quick reply. I smiled that she was so happy. Then she said, "I have never learned how to crochet."

Posted by: EMIL WARREN TURNER at December 05, 2021 08:56 AM (nAWZ8)

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