New Hampshire Democrat Representative: You Know, You Can't Sexually Assault a Woman Unless She Helps You Do It

So she was asking for it you say? #MeToo pic.twitter.com/gs1bfYnji4
— Anonynurse Practitioner (@ArthurNonymous) May 1, 2020

The Party That Believes Wahmen, y'all.

Happy weekend!

Oh, something I wanted to mention about First Blood -- It takes place at Christmas.

So Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, and First Blood all took place at Christmas.

Weird.

Posted by: Ace at 08:35 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 1 !

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:37 PM (zr5Kq)

2 Yo!

Posted by: RI Red at May 01, 2020 08:37 PM (mW4V2)

3 Uh. Worked for Don Draper.

Posted by: David Groenier at May 01, 2020 08:37 PM (DwnPl)

4 Wait what ?

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:37 PM (zr5Kq)

5 Is he the only black guy in New Hampshire?

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 01, 2020 08:37 PM (xPl2J)

6 Does anyone here speak Ebonics?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (ptqGC)

7 6th!

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (Ae67h)

8 NOOD creep

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (zr5Kq)

9 The luck of the GOP now lands on the Democrats. Another look at #metoo?

Posted by: Mikey NTH Plague Your Rivals With Covfefe-19 From The Outrage Outlet! at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (0QYMt)

10 So I guess regular rapes don't happen either.

Huh.

Posted by: chique d' Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (9hauA)

11 Doh!

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (Ae67h)

12 um,

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (zr5Kq)

13 yes ... the party of rape ... the party of pedophiles ... the party of forced government assent to go to the beach ... it is all tied together in one big Commie Bow.

Posted by: illiniwek at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (Cus5s)

14 Bitch asked fo it.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (ptqGC)

15 Of course he's a Dem. And I have no idea who he is. But he's not from the North Country.

Posted by: RI Red at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (mW4V2)

16 The Dems have decided to eschew masks, and have gone the brown paper bag route.

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (Z4rgH)

17
She Wanted It??

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:39 PM (AIgP/)

18 Weird Twitter dude wonders about the location of those woman parts.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 08:39 PM (dOV9E)

19 When I rapes, the bitchez begz fo mo.

---- that Douche Rep (D)

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:39 PM (ptqGC)

20 Komi. Dude. Seriously. STFU and STFD.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at May 01, 2020 08:39 PM (Ds0hh)

21 Gee, the DEMOCRAT really said that? Out loud?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (85Gof)

22 Is he saying vaginas can only be female?

Posted by: Sjg at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (gDSJf)

23 Sorry OT but willowed exemption applies.

I just got back from my club which partially opened today. Tennis courts , restaurant and bar at 25% , lap pool.

Oh wait, the lap pool had to be closed because the city came by and said it could not be reopened. Is everyone in government a half-tard ? It's a lap pool. It's full of virus killing chlorine and social spacing because it's a freaking lap pool.

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (2DOZq)

24 Oh, no! It's the Incredible Unreachable Vagina!!

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (iydjf)

25 "judging by the position of female vagina" ??? vs male vagina, which is easily accessible...

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (zr5Kq)

26 Will Dems run this asshole out of office like they did against Repub Missouri candidate
Todd Akin?
Nah.... hypocrites.

Posted by: jb at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (T2wkl)

27 I wish i was still posting things like that on FB. LOL

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (85Gof)

28 Ah, so we've now added "the bitch was asking for it" to the "she's a lying, crazy whore" narrative.
And yeah, that guy hasn't touched a vagina since he was born, would be my bet.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (mNq/0)

29 So Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, and First Blood all took place at Christmas.

Weird.

Posted by Ace

Not really. It's the cheap move to set up some atmosphere and take advantage of the western fondness for Christmas.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (UdCe2)

30 Jeez.
This guy is beyond stupid.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (axyOa)

31 So this is where we are:

An elected politician releasing a written statement on the position of the vagina and how to get your finger in there.

Progress.

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (Y6EGw)

32 What?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (A5zUN)

33 I used to think that fingers, being attached to hands, which are in turn attached to arms were more mobile and flexible than a penis.

I thank this erudite man for correcting my misconception.

Posted by: chique d' Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (9hauA)

34 Richard N Komi, call me. Bet I can find your back hole, willing or not.

Posted by: Andrew Gillum at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (dOV9E)

35
So that asshat is an ob-gyn?

Or an accomplished digital rapist?

Which is it, sport-o?

Dumbass.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (pNxlR)

36
alternate post title:

Male Democrat Legislator and Part Time Gynecologist and Forensic Science Expert Says Biden's Rape Victim "Wanted It"

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (AIgP/)

37 So Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, and First Blood all took place at Christmas.

Weird.

Posted by Ace

---

"Brazil," too.

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (Y6EGw)

38 That certainly it a... take...

Posted by: Inogame at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (+2xjH)

39 Increasingly, I begin to understand the #WASTF acronym.

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 08:41 PM (jnM20)

40 This guy didn't even pass middle school English.

But he knows him some vagina. Or not.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:42 PM (ptqGC)

41 female vagina cooperated ?

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:42 PM (zr5Kq)

42 He looks like a person who came from a country where clitorectomy is a practice.

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at May 01, 2020 08:42 PM (2DOZq)

43 Who was that idiot who said raped women can't get pregnant? Someone let him know he has competition.

Posted by: Mikey NTH Plague Your Rivals With Covfefe-19 From The Outrage Outlet! at May 01, 2020 08:42 PM (0QYMt)

44 What a stupid fucking time to be alive.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:42 PM (ptqGC)

45 How in the hell does this idiot Komi get elected in the first place?

Time to change your motto New Hampshire.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 01, 2020 08:42 PM (Z+IKu)

46 "She must have wanted it bad" is the hottest take on the Biden finger-rape so far. Hard to imagine better, but Democrats are resourceful.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (dOV9E)

47 Is he going to release an official statement on how to get a fist in there?

Or should I just google image search that on my own?

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (Y6EGw)

48 Looks like the original tweet got deleted.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (OzQGF)

49
NOOD creep

Posted by: runner

This is the nood, and who you callin creep?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (VjAHi)

50 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)

51 Getcha popcorn here!

Posted by: jdgalt at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (3SFo/)

52 Does this guy realize he is making a logistical argument that rape is impossible?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (A5zUN)

53 Dressed all slutty too

Whore!

Posted by: Bruce at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (vd8XM)

54 This is like most Muslim men from the Middle East--they think forcible rape is impossible without the victim's cooperation. Most of them won't admit it, but that's what they think.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (sWM8x)

55 "Judging by the position of the female vagina, it will not be easy for anyone to just put their finger in the vagina unless their is some Cooperation from the female herself. That is why I believe Tara Reade's allegations is false. She is looking for attention."

Science!!!

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (Ae67h)

56 Did they all have Brian Dennehy?

Nope. No they did not.

Posted by: eleven at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (Qf83p)

57 How in the hell does this idiot Komi get elected in the first place?

Time to change your motto New Hampshire.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 01, 2020 08:42 PM (Z+IKu)

Savannah, GA voters say "Hold our malt liquor."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (ptqGC)

58 What a stupid fucking time to be alive.

No, that will be when CNN does live demonstrations to boost their ratings.

Posted by: 🐧 at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (C+evo)

59 NOOD creep

Posted by: runner

This is the nood, and who you callin creep?
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (VjAHi)

Even I make mistakes in placing noods.

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (zr5Kq)

60 50 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)

Galaxy Quest?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (A5zUN)

61 8
NOOD creep

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (zr5Kq)

Already? I just barely got into THIS thread.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (OzQGF)

62 NH Dems are now telling him to resign.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (xPl2J)

63 Not a proud day for my state. Ugh.

Posted by: GuyFromNH at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (Gs5TH)

64 What a stupid fucking time to be alive.

No, that will be when CNN does live demonstrations to boost their ratings.
====

After that colonoscopy, a pelvic exam will be a breeze.

Call me!

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (iydjf)

65 This is like most Muslim men from the Middle East--they think forcible rape is impossible without the victim's cooperation. Most of them won't admit it, but that's what they think.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis

Is this guy a goat fucker?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (2VADA)

66 Is this going to be Creepy Uncle Joe's rebuttal?

Posted by: Skip at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (ZCEU2)

67

NOOD creep

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:38 PM (zr5Kq)

Already? I just barely got into THIS thread.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (OzQGF)

It's Friday !

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (zr5Kq)

68 well whaddya know'
he deleted it

Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (iTXRQ)

69 OT, but I got on a Bob Hope youtube clip tangent. Now I have Thanks for the Memory stuck in my head.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (A5zUN)

70 it was a dark and horny night...

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (Z4rgH)

71 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)

A Christmas Story

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (cUUNR)

72 Is that a verified account?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (aKsyK)

73 well whaddya know'
he deleted it
Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (iTXRQ)

I waz hacked !

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (zr5Kq)

74 Hey, in Africa a rape can cure your AIDS!

How's THAT for science?

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (Y6EGw)

75 Is this guy a goat fucker?
---
I don't know, Rick.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (sWM8x)

76
I actually got mail order certified by the civil defence to be a fallout shelter technician in middle school. Lost all my shit... it was actually kind of cool.

Posted by: Burnt Toast

Cool.
I love stories from days gone by.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (VjAHi)

77 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)

Galaxy Quest?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (A5zUN)
====

Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (iydjf)

78 As a Missourian who had to suffer through the Todd Akin debacle in 2012, I can only say:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Payback sucks, huh Dems?!

Posted by: Dr. T at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (pxDdN)

79 Intern did it !

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (zr5Kq)

80 Dude, it's the g spot not the vagina

Posted by: Inogame at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (+2xjH)

81
"A finger is just a penis with articulation"

-- Richard N Koni, Love Doc

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (pNxlR)

82 Ace went O/T in his own post.

These are strange and exciting times, folks.

Posted by: chique d' Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (9hauA)

83 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?

Posted by: Bicentennialguy

---

Um... the entire Hallmark Channel?

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (Y6EGw)

84 I remember reading about a female Marine in A-stan, who had to woman 'spain to a "man" that screwing his wife in the butt was the reason she wasn't getting preggers.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (ptqGC)

85 It's a Wonderful Life and Gremlins.

Posted by: eleven at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (Qf83p)

86 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)

Galaxy Quest?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (A5zUN)
====

Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (iydjf)

Polyester pants ?

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (zr5Kq)

87

Richard N Komi

@KomiRichard
�
Apr 17

Today is exactly 200 days to election. Like millions of Americans, I can't wait to see Joe Biden sworn into office as our new president. He will restore our faith in our government. He will also bring transparency and decency to the presidency.

Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (iTXRQ)

88 So many questions.

Posted by: Komi at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (uM6CE)

89 Prometheus

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (iydjf)

90 71 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)
A Christmas Story
Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (cUUNR)

Bad Santa. Featuring the song "Let It Snow" as a background to two dudes walking across a parking lot in Arizona, with visible heat rising from the ground.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (dOV9E)

91 Those pics of slanty-eyed joe a couple posts back are begging for meming:

Me Chinese, me play joke, off my pee-pee you snort coke

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (kBEOO)

92 Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (iydjf)

Please Don't Eat the Daises?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (A5zUN)

93 I especially like the tilted head to the right pose he is rocking.

Like the dog listening to a Victrola.

Or he is especially curious and open minded.

Or confused by grammar and twitter.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (Ae67h)

94 "A finger is just a penis with articulation"

-- Richard N Koni, Love Doc
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM)

---

And you can put a ring on it without damaging yourself for life!

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (Y6EGw)

95

NH Dems are now telling him to resign.
Posted by: Mark1971

But but but he's....blick.

/joe pesci in Lethal Weapon 2

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:47 PM (VjAHi)

96 So, Trump could never grab 'em by the p****y unless they wanted? No pink hat for you!

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 01, 2020 08:48 PM (gAXBD)

97 Hey, in Africa a rape can cure your AIDS!

How's THAT for science?

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (Y6EGw)

Please don't tar all of us with the same brush. That would be certain South Africans.

Posted by: chique d' Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 08:48 PM (9hauA)

98 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)

Galaxy Quest?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (A5zUN)
====

Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"

Parents?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 08:48 PM (SchxB)

99
This assclown is Neil DeGasBag Tyson Chicken Tender's brother from another mother, isn't he?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2020 08:48 PM (pNxlR)

100 This guy and Stacey Abrams = Love Connection

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:48 PM (ptqGC)

101 Does Biden even realize that starting every sentence with "look" is rather condescending and demeaning ?

Posted by: HITLER at May 01, 2020 08:48 PM (tQbpU)

102 Yes. Grew up in New Orleans. Made some Yankee friends when in school, and was surprised they could not understand the waiters or waitresses ( depending on the venue).

Posted by: EdmundBurkesShade at May 01, 2020 08:48 PM (gSgAd)

103 I cannot be respecting the position of Love Doctor Komi, as he addresses only one of many possible modalities.

Posted by: Prof. Miklos, with cures for all such may be ailing you at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (QzkSJ)

104 56 Did they all have Brian Dennehy?

Nope. No they did not.
Posted by: eleven at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (Qf83p)

-----------------------------

Well, he was cast as Nakatomi Tower in Die Hard. Not sure about the other two movies.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (CAJOC)

105 Phome Alones.

Posted by: eleven at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (Qf83p)

106 chique d' Epstein didn't off hisself

ace said you can go off topic on a typical post from him.

It's the specialty posts by CoBs where he wants more consideration, like the garden or art thread

I aver we are in the golden age of CoBs.

My guess is the dental plan for CoBs is ... underfunded. They post at their own pleasure.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (u82oZ)

107 84 I remember reading about a female Marine in A-stan, who had to woman 'spain to a "man" that screwing his wife in the butt was the reason she wasn't getting preggers.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (ptqGC)

*****

Are you really sure this "wife" was a woman? Coulda been one of those trannys. They're tricksy, I hear.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (Ae67h)

108 Isn't Komi one of the dancing funeral guys?

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (sWM8x)

109 77 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)
Galaxy Quest?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:44 PM (A5zUN)
====
Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (iydjf)

Please Don't Eat The Daisies?

Yes, that's a real movie.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (dOV9E)

110
Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"
Posted by: Bicentennialguy[-i]

Penis Claus!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (pNxlR)

111 I dont know what it was like at y'alls place today but here it was beautiful! Sunny, a few clouds and about 80 with humidity in the 40s and a little breeze. Got most of the yard work done and a tee time ma�ana.

Oh. And my cigars and madeira were replenished.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (Ds0hh)

112 When Biden begins a sentence with, "Look..."

It's like Obama's "Let me be clear...."

It's a sure fire tell they're about to lie.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (ptqGC)

113 Is that a verified account?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM (aKsyK)

I've never heard of this "New Hampshire", and I lived in Lawrence MA for 8 years.

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (t+qrx)

114 105 Phome Alones.
Posted by: eleven at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (Qf83p)

Plink the Bismarks!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (A5zUN)

115
I saw Judging By The Position of The Vagina open for Decency and Transparency in 1990 at the Worcester Centrum.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (VjAHi)

116 Joe won't last, he's taking hits. The scenario that pulls Hillary into position is yet to be revealed

Posted by: zeera Moron Author at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (zUdXR)

117 "So Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, and First Blood all took place at Christmas."

Cobra too.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (kBEOO)

118 I've attended a major league baseball game, gazed into the Grand Canyon, and watched with amazement as a circus bear rode a motorcycle. Needless to say, I've been there, done that, and heard it all. But I've never read anything as stupid as Komi''s ignorant nonsense.

Posted by: eastofsuez at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (U2zca)

119 But what if you have reeeeaaaalllllyyyyy long fingers?????

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (gAXBD)

120 84 I remember reading about a female Marine in A-stan, who had to woman 'spain to a "man" that screwing his wife in the butt was the reason she wasn't getting preggers.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (ptqGC)

Hey, it worked for us!

Posted by: Anderson Cooper at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (dOV9E)

121 Planet of the Apes?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (SchxB)

122 This guy is from Nigeria.

If he HAS ever seen a vagina, it was probably mutilated with a piece of broken glass on someone's kitchen table.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (mNq/0)

123 Um... the entire Hallmark Channel?

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (Y6EGw)

LOL

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (OzQGF)

124 How many vaginas does he actually have experience with? I'm guessing, none.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (4o2K3)

125 These people need to be beaten within an inch of their life with an oak dowel.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy, staring from 457 meters at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (8/E19)

126 Back in the 80's and early 90's it was weird if a movie didn't at least have one mention of Christmas or a Christmas scene. Even Goodfellas has one.

But that's all been gone for a long time now.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (Y2CFz)

127 I mean....wow.

Democrats are retards.

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (LeHP0)

128 Joe won't last, he's taking hits. The scenario that pulls Hillary into position is yet to be revealed
Posted by: zeera Moron Author

---

Judging by the position of Hillary, they could willingly slide her onto the ticket.

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (Y6EGw)

129 Porky's?

Posted by: Chunk Hunger at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (uM6CE)

130 Joe won't last, he's taking hits. The scenario that pulls Hillary into position is yet to be revealed

Posted by: zeera Moron Author at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (zUdXR)

Dear Lord. There are still so many wymyn who love the Beast (my SiLs and sister). Add to that mail-in voting....

I can't go there. It's too terrifying.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (ptqGC)

131 Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (iydjf)

Eris' favorite!

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (t+qrx)

132 Ptremors.

Posted by: eleven at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (Qf83p)

133 As I said during the Todd Akin debacle, the number of men, black or white, with a witch doctor approach to gynecology is rather disheartening.

Posted by: trev006 at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (0HpOW)

134 "Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s" "

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (zRJXx)

135 Look fat, rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (2N7oZ)

136 Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (iydjf)

Eris' favorite!
Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (t+qrx)

Hint: the pinnacle of the Alien series

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (t+qrx)

137 If you have to reach that far, That's not the vagina buddy.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy, staring from 457 meters at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (8/E19)

138 Remember me? I was cursed by God with the largest penis known to mankind.

Posted by: Idi Amin Dada at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (sWM8x)

139 Komi meet Comey.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (aKsyK)

140 The things you learn from Democrats in an election year.

#earlynightfortrump

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (Y2CFz)

141 132 Ptremors.
Posted by: eleven at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (Qf83p)

Pig Trouble in Little Chinas!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (A5zUN)

142 Anderson Cooper is the proud "father" of a baby boy.

Ponder that for a moment.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (ptqGC)

143 My guess is the dental plan for CoBs is ... underfunded. They post at their own pleasure.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (u82oZ)

I have been assured that the COB dental plan offers solid gold teef!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (jnM20)

144 110
Begins with a "P" and ends with an "s"
Posted by: Bicentennialguy

Penis Claus!
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2020 08:50 PM (pNxlR)

--------------------------------

Didn't that have Brandi Love in it?

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (CAJOC)

145 Aw, Sam Lloyd died.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (OzQGF)

146 I have been assured that the COB dental plan offers solid gold teef!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar

I believe that's Toof

Posted by: Bruce at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (vd8XM)

147 I say The Godfather is a Christmas movie

Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (iTXRQ)

148 I wonder whose uterus took one for the team?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (gAXBD)

149 142 Anderson Cooper is the proud "father" of a baby boy.

Ponder that for a moment.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (ptqGC)

Is it really his?

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (LeHP0)

150
Judging by the position of Hillary, they could willingly slide her onto the ticket.
Posted by: RKae

You know she's in reach like a whale on the beach.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (aKsyK)

151 Tim Burton's Batman Returns also took place on Christmas. The best Batman stories are always at winter time.

Posted by: Max Power at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (QCc6B)

152 Hint: the pinnacle of the Alien series
Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 08:52 PM (t+qrx)

Paliens?

I thought the UP of Michigan was especially scary.

PHicks was great though.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (A5zUN)

153 Planet of the Apes?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (SchxB)

Best case scenario at this point.

Posted by: Andrew Cuomo at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (2N7oZ)

154
Butt Babies are real?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (VjAHi)

155 You know she's in reach like a whale on the beach.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. I

Let's blow her up!

Posted by: Bruce at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (vd8XM)

156 97 Hey, in Africa a rape can cure your AIDS!

How's THAT for science?

Posted by: RKae at May 01, 2020 08:46 PM (Y6EGw)

Please don't tar all of us with the same brush. That would be certain South Africans.
Posted by: chique d' Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 08:48 PM (9hauA)

*****

What part of Africa are you from?

You know the sometimes commenter "Baldilocks"?

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (Ae67h)

157 Deleted tweet from 1969 recently recovered:

Richard K Nomi@KomiRichard
Judging by the female temperament, it would not be easy for anyone to just let a woman Drown in their car without some Cooperation from the female herself. This is why I believe Mary Jo Kopechne's family's allegations is false. They are looking for attention.

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (WqPYg)

158 118 I've attended a major league baseball game, gazed into the Grand Canyon, and watched with amazement as a circus bear rode a motorcycle. Needless to say, I've been there, done that, and heard it all. But I've never read anything as stupid as Komi''s ignorant nonsense.
Posted by: eastofsuez at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (U2zca)

-----------------------------

Is it wrong that I read that in the voice of the crows from Dumbo?

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 01, 2020 08:56 PM (CAJOC)

159 Are you really sure this "wife" was a woman? Coulda been one of those trannys. They're tricksy, I hear.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (Ae67h)

You can trust a goat!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 08:56 PM (jnM20)

160 Here's hoping Cooper's little boy grows up to be a fag hating, tatted biker dude or even worse an Evangelical Christian.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 01, 2020 08:56 PM (hEt8h)

161 154
Butt Babies are real?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (VjAHi)

Their common name is French.

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 08:56 PM (LeHP0)

162 Planet of the Apes?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (SchxB)

Best case scenario at this point.
Posted by: Andrew Cuomo

Only if the apes still make 'roids, monkey boy.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 08:56 PM (SchxB)

163 For the love of God never blow up the whale on the beach.

Posted by: eleven at May 01, 2020 08:56 PM (Qf83p)

164
I don't like homos adopting babies, especially babies that are created expressly for the homosexual couple.

That poor kid didn't choose that.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 08:56 PM (VjAHi)

165 Read somewhere a while ago that while trying to eradicate AIDS in parts of Africa, the docs were handing out condoms but the villagers were still getting The Ninja.

When the docs investigated, they found that the villagers were not using the condoms because they were doing the old lady in the ass to prevent her from getting pregnant.

Science.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (Z+IKu)

166 Poor kid has Anderson Cooper as a "father."

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (gAXBD)

167 143 My guess is the dental plan for CoBs is ... underfunded. They post at their own pleasure.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 01, 2020 08:49 PM (u82oZ)

I have been assured that the COB dental plan offers solid gold teef!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (jnM20)

*****

If I ever had to get false teeth, I wouldn't want gold.

I'd want steel, or iron. Russian style.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (Ae67h)

168 149
142 Anderson Cooper is the proud "father" of a baby boy.

Ponder that for a moment.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:53 PM (ptqGC)

Is it really his?

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (LeHP0)

________

He's the spitting image of #DrunkDonLeMon.

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (WqPYg)

169 Shouldn't that read: "That's why I believe Tara Reade's allegations BE false?"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (3bNB6)

170
Reading Komi's tweets makes it quite clear that he believes he is a font of sagacity.

Believing and being are two quite different things.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (pNxlR)

171 I can't decide whether the person who did Hillary's makeup in that video deserves a beating or an Academy Award.

My first thought: "I've seen healthier looking corpses."

My second thought: "Then again, I haven't seen her without makeup recently, and I seriously doubt that four years of heavy drinking has improved her looks."

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (mNq/0)

172 >>> Is it wrong that I read that in the voice of the crows from Dumbo?
Posted by: No One of Consequence

Who here didn't?

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 08:58 PM (xvPar)

173 Poor kid has Anderson Cooper as a "father."

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (gAXBD)

And Andi's boyfriend as another "father."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 08:58 PM (ptqGC)

174 In a world where a 'guy' like Mr. Cooper can claim to be a father, then we need to believe Tara's vagina just reached out and sucked Joe's fingers right up in there. And who is the other proud father? Anyway?

Posted by: Eromero at May 01, 2020 08:58 PM (XhWtx)

175 So is he angling for VP or something?

Also is this a real thing that actually happened?

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 08:58 PM (t+qrx)

176 Spell check just reminded me there isn't much difference between what I wrote: Baked Ziti and what I sent: Naked Ziti.

Oh WTF. I need moar beer.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2020 08:58 PM (axyOa)

177 >>> My second thought: "Then again, I haven't seen her without makeup recently, and I seriously doubt that four years of heavy drinking has improved her looks."

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at

Her drinking? Or yours?

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (xvPar)

178 167 I'd want steel, or iron. Russian style.
Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (Ae67h)

Even the Commie Russians didn't use iron. Iron rusts. Even keeping my carbon steel knives looking something other than horrible is nearly impossible.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (dOV9E)

179 You know, you can do it more easily with a finger than with - well, you know.

So I guess no rape has ever happened. Unless you count leaving the toilet seat up.

Posted by: Eeyore at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (ZbwAu)

180 I say The Godfather is a Christmas movie

Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (iTXRQ)

Ironically, Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence, is not a Christmas movie.

Posted by: Mr. Morango at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (2N7oZ)

181 Aw, Sam Lloyd died.
Posted by: Jordan61

Okaaaaaaaay.........

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (arJlL)

182 Is Mr. Komi a groinocologist?

Posted by: mercenary13 at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (QkuUr)

183 Dad, why do the kids at the playground call you "Pooper Anderson"?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (gAXBD)

184 WAIT-

so when Anderson cooper talks to his son about the birds and the bees, is it the hetero version or does he brief him on buttsex?

Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (iTXRQ)

185 153 Planet of the Apes?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 08:51 PM (SchxB)

Best case scenario at this point.
Posted by: Andrew Cuomo at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (2N7oZ)

Ever see By Dawn's Early Light? It was a late 80's(?) nuclear apocalypse movie.

Martin Landau (as a Reagan stand in), Peter Macnichol, James Early Jones, Rip Torn (as the evil American Army General), Rebecca De Mornay as a bomber co-pilot and Powers Boothe as the bomber pilot who was banging her.

He says at the end when she is asking what they are going back to 'Planet of the Apes, Darlin.'

I liked the movie from what I recall, bet it does not hold up.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (A5zUN)

186 146 I have been assured that the COB dental plan offers solid gold teef!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar

I believe that's Toof
Posted by: Bruce at May 01, 2020 08:54 PM (vd8XM)

*****

Teef is plural. Toof is singular.

Don't bother to thank me.

I'm a giver.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (Ae67h)

187 142 Anderson Cooper is the proud "father" of a baby boy.

Question: does the boy send a Father's Day card to Anderson Cooper or to some turkey baster?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (3bNB6)

188 If I ever had to get false teeth, I wouldn't want gold.
I'd want steel, or iron. Russian style.
Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (Ae67h)

Spot gold price $1,702.90 today, so no!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (jnM20)

189 >>> >>> My second thought: "Then again, I haven't seen her without makeup recently, and I seriously doubt that four years of heavy drinking has improved her looks."

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at

Her drinking? Or yours?
Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (xvPar)

Sorry, Rodrigo. Meant to include a JK in there. Blame it on my drinking.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (xvPar)

190 Richard N Komi -> Dick N Komi -> Dick N Comey -> Dick In Comey

Justice!

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (kBEOO)

191 If Biden had to choose between:

1. Being President and never smelling a woman's hair again, except his wife's hair
2. Not being President

I really believe he would choose 1.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (dOV9E)

192 Hangin' with Mr. Cooper

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (aKsyK)

193 > Her drinking? Or yours?

Oh, hers, of course. Four years of my daily drinking might make her look better.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (mNq/0)

194 Question: does the boy send a Father's Day card to Anderson Cooper or to some turkey baster?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (3bNB6)

Rachel Maddow.

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (LeHP0)

195 Crap, I meant 2.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (dOV9E)

196 WAIT-

so when Anderson cooper talks to his son about the birds and the bees, is it the hetero version or does he brief him on buttsex?
Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (iTXRQ)

I believe first he DEbriefs him.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (3bNB6)

197 Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (Ae67h)

Yes the COB dental covers all your teefs!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (jnM20)

198 181
Aw, Sam Lloyd died.

Posted by: Jordan61

Okaaaaaaaay.........

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (arJlL)

Ted from Scrubs.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (OzQGF)

199 W. T. F ???

You know, that is something I had never thought about, but now that I am I have to wonder -

HOW DOES HE KNOW ???

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (LWu6U)

200
Teef is plural. Toof is singular.

Don't bother to thank me.

I'm a giver.
Posted by: El Jefe

That's all they get, one Toof

Posted by: Bruce at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (vd8XM)

201 I guess I missed the nood.

Posted by: Traveling Man Who's Stuck At Home&&&& at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (oaTxa)

202 > Sorry, Rodrigo. Meant to include a JK in there. Blame it on my drinking.

I figured.

Ther's not enough tequila in the world to make Hillary a 1. There just isn't.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (mNq/0)

203 191 If Biden had to choose between:

1. Being President and never smelling a woman's hair again, except his wife's hair
2. Not being President

I really believe he would choose 1.
Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:00 PM (dOV9E)

3 !!

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (LeHP0)

204 "their"

Posted by: andycanuck at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (TQ/zJ)

205 Oh yeah. the "she was asking for it by wearing a skirt" defense. But I thought no good Demon'rat ever ever played 'blame the victim' /s

Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (T9Hmo)

206 "Butt Babies are real? "

Just like Hand Babies.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (zRJXx)

207 >>> If I ever had to get false teeth, I wouldn't want gold.
I'd want steel, or iron. Russian style.
Posted by: El Jefe

Jaws. 007: Moonraker

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (xvPar)

208 178 167 I'd want steel, or iron. Russian style.
Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:57 PM (Ae67h)

Even the Commie Russians didn't use iron. Iron rusts.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 08:59 PM (dOV9E)

*****

Hey, consider it a mineral supplement.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (Ae67h)

209
Hint: the pinnacle of the Alien series

Pinocchios!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (pNxlR)

210 Ther's not enough tequila in the world to make Hillary a 1. There just isn't.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (mNq/0)

Young Hillary? If I had no idea who she was or would become...

I have made worse decisions...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (A5zUN)

211 Ted from Scrubs.
Posted by: Jordan61

Oh.

RIP

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (arJlL)

212 One in the pink, one in the stink.

You should have seen those submarine races Man.

Posted by: Gropen' Joe at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (Qw0AP)

213 200
Teef is plural. Toof is singular.

Don't bother to thank me.

I'm a giver.
Posted by: El Jefe

That's all they get, one Toof
Posted by: Bruce at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (vd8XM)

*****

Heh. Good point.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (Ae67h)

214 Anderson Cooper and his new baby boy, Wyatt. Born on Monday.

https://tinyurl.com/y9klpmgf

God bless that sweet, innocent little baby.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (ptqGC)

215 I was a hand baby.

Posted by: Arkansas Biden Baby at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (EgshT)

216 Did someone say Horsemanbabies?

Posted by: old memes at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (Qf83p)

217 Jaws. 007: Moonraker

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (xvPar)

Plus his girlfriend was stacked.

Posted by: Mr. Morango at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (2N7oZ)

218 Oh yeah. the "she was asking for it by wearing a skirt" defense. But I thought no good Demon'rat ever ever played 'blame the victim' /s

Political taqiyya.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (SchxB)

219 I know a movie that takes place at Christmas
Battleground

Posted by: Skip at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (ZCEU2)

220 "their"
Posted by: andycanuck

Where ?

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (arJlL)

221 Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (Ae67h)

Inox for the win!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 09:04 PM (jnM20)

222 W. T. F ???

You know, that is something I had never thought about, but now that I am I have to wonder -

HOW DOES HE KNOW ???

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (LWu6U)

I have no idea, but if am ever accused of rape I want him on the jury.

and vice versa....

Posted by: Burnt Toast at May 01, 2020 09:04 PM (1g7ch)

223 210 Young Hillary? If I had no idea who she was or would become...
I have made worse decisions...
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (A5zUN)

You know she smelled really bad then, because of her lackadaisical approach to hygiene, right? Still willing?

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:04 PM (dOV9E)

224 212 One in the pink, one in the stink.

You should have seen those submarine races Man.
Posted by: Gropen' Joe at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (Qw0AP)

Two in the pink, one in the stink.

Knowledge : Fail

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:04 PM (LeHP0)

225 Ther's not enough tequila in the world to make Hillary a 1. There just isn't.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 01, 2020 09:01 PM (mNq/0)

Young Hillary? If I had no idea who she was or would become...

I have made worse decisions...
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Bill's girlfriend before Hillary said Hillz had hairy feet.

This is not to be communicated to Ace.

Posted by: Miklos, undersupplied for a Friday at May 01, 2020 09:04 PM (QzkSJ)

226 One thing you have to say about leftists is they are not afraid to move the ball anywhere on the pitch.

We've gone from "an accusation that doesn't specify a date, a time or a place, with zero corroboration must force withdrawal of an SC nominee" to "you can't rape a woman!".

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 09:05 PM (Y2CFz)

227 Did someone say Horsemanbabies?
Posted by: old memes at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (Qf83p)

Requiescat in pace, Andrew "I ain't going to lie" Menzoza.

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 09:05 PM (t+qrx)

228 God bless that sweet, innocent little baby.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (ptqGC)

Believe me, that baby is really going to need that blessing!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 09:05 PM (jnM20)

229 I saw Stealth Vagina open for Hole at the Felt Forum

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:05 PM (dOV9E)

230 Son, let me introduce you to the glories of the bathhouse.

---- Andi Cooper

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:05 PM (ptqGC)

231
Grammie Winger has ecounter with cop in Wisconsin:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYXpZ3GFx4k

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (VjAHi)

232 224 212 One in the pink, one in the stink.

You should have seen those submarine races Man.
Posted by: Gropen' Joe at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (Qw0AP)

Two in the pink, one in the stink.

Knowledge : Fail
Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:04 PM (LeHP0)

--------------------------

Ah... the shocker....

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (CAJOC)

233 Posted by: JT at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (arJlL)

It's one of my favorite shows. In January of 2019 his wife had their first baby, and a few weeks later he was having headaches and was tired. Chalked it up to having a newborn in the house. Turned out, he had an inoperable brain tumor. The cancer spread to his jaw, spine, and liver.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (OzQGF)

234 Hey, where all da white wimmin at?

Posted by: Richard N. Komi at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (NWiLs)

235 What part of Africa are you from?

You know the sometimes commenter "Baldilocks"?
Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (Ae67h)

Nigeria.

I believe Baldi is half Kenyan - other side of the continent.

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (9hauA)

236
God bless that sweet, innocent little baby.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (ptqGC)

They will absolutely destroy that kid, I fear.

For likes on Facebook.

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (LeHP0)

237 Bertram
If Hillary is like a whale on the beach can we use dynamite?
Couldn't be any messier than Oregon's exploding whale.

Posted by: Winston a dreg of society at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (Eb+fP)

238 any one catch Biden's plan to get people back to work half time

and the government pick up the other half of the paycheck

Posted by: REDACTED at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (tQbpU)

239 Hey Blanco Basura, just FYI it looks like your reverse proxy is having issues or something.

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (t+qrx)

240 The Shocker 2020.

Posted by: old memes at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (Qf83p)

241 You are stronger than I am, Jane D'oh. I prefer to remain silent.

Posted by: Infidel at May 01, 2020 09:07 PM (nvc6v)

242 It's one of my favorite shows. In January of 2019 his wife had their first baby, and a few weeks later he was having headaches and was tired. Chalked it up to having a newborn in the house. Turned out, he had an inoperable brain tumor. The cancer spread to his jaw, spine, and liver.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (OzQGF)

That's horrible.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:07 PM (A5zUN)

243
Lady: "Why are you here?"

Cop: "Because your daughter is going to play in other people's homes and you're allowing that to happen."

Wisconsin. Now.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:07 PM (VjAHi)

244 L.A. Confidential starts at Christmas.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 01, 2020 09:07 PM (+y/Ru)

245 207 >>> If I ever had to get false teeth, I wouldn't want gold.
I'd want steel, or iron. Russian style.
Posted by: El Jefe

Jaws. 007: Moonraker
Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (xvPar)

*****

Close, but those things are shiny, like polished stainless steel.

I'd feel like I was putin' on airs if I had those.

Mine would have to be matte.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:08 PM (Ae67h)

246 I want to remind everyone that TFG picked this guy. No, not just for VP, but as the 2020 candidate.

The party belongs to TFG, and that means that if he did not want stink finger joe to run, all he had to do is quietly tell him "I will not endorse you."

He had the power to pick whomever the fuck he wanted and that person would have won the primary (within reason,) and he picked a doddering, slobbering, seniliating, raping, hair-sniffer who is up to his eyeballs in corruption and graft.

[You know, he probably didn't pick him though - TFG never made a decision in his life, so he probably hid under the desk on this as well, but nevertheless he is responsible]

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 01, 2020 09:08 PM (LWu6U)

247 Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they all know each other?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (A5zUN)

248 214 Anderson Cooper and his new baby boy, Wyatt. Born on Monday.

https://tinyurl.com/y9klpmgf

God bless that sweet, innocent little baby.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (ptqGC)

That poor kid.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (NWiLs)

249 246 I want to remind everyone that TFG picked this guy. No, not just for VP, but as the 2020 candidate.

When there was no one left to pick, I would add.

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (LeHP0)

250 L.A. Confidential starts at Christmas.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler

That was a pretty cool flick !

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (arJlL)

251 Someone up the fairway from us is having a party, probably a "graduation" party for their teen.

You can see the fire pit lit up, and lots of bright neon lights, and there's loud music.

The Karens must be speed dialing security at the same time. I can't wait to read their scoldings on Nextdoor.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (ptqGC)

252 [You know, he probably didn't pick him though - TFG never made a decision in his life, so he probably hid under the desk on this as well, but nevertheless he is responsible]

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 01, 2020 09:08 PM (LWu6U)

The ValJar candidate "Gropey Joe Bribem"!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (jnM20)

253 >>>Two in the pink, one in the stink.

Knowledge : Fail
Posted by: jsg

Now, imagine you*re a male catholic school teacher, and your fellow female teachers see that "hand sign" in a team picture. They assume it*w bad, but don*t know what it means, so they ask you. Do you tell them? Because I*ve been there.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (xvPar)

254 I believe Baldi is half Kenyan - other side of the continent.
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (9hauA)

IIRC her dad is Luo (which I only remember b/c she pointed it out as a parallel to Obama).

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (t+qrx)

255 247
Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone
else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they
all know each other?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (A5zUN)

LOL.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (OzQGF)

256 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (U2p+3)

257 Elton John is sending Cooper- How to notes at this moment.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (hEt8h)

258 Joe has a two point plan to get every woman working.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (Y2CFz)

259 Nigeria.

I believe Baldi is half Kenyan - other side of the continent.
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (9hauA)

*****

I don't know which side the other side is....

*hangs head in shame*

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (Ae67h)

260 Obama: I know what I'll do, I'll pick Biden. No one would ever kick me out of office and risk that guy becoming President
Biden: Hot damn! I'm on the fast track to the Presidency!

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (dOV9E)

261 When there was no one left to pick, I would add.

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (LeHP0)

In my defense, I was really high.

Posted by: Barry Obama at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (2N7oZ)

262 Starts with P and ends with S. Poultrygeists?

Posted by: klaftern at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (RuIsu)

263 255 247
Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone
else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they
all know each other?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (A5zUN)

LOL.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (OzQGF)

*****

Guilty...

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (Ae67h)

264 247 Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they all know each other?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (A5zUN)

I think you mean Wyoming.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (NWiLs)

265 Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they all know each other?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (A5zUN)

Haha, IRL people actually do that. It doesn't offend me - I find it amusing.

A pet peeve though is talking about Africa as if it's a country.

I usually politely ask, what part of Africa?

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (9hauA)

266 Touch of Death, example #516.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (A5zUN)

267 #220 "unless their is some Cooperation"

Posted by: andycanuck at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (TQ/zJ)

268 Uncle Joe was an inconvenient truth.

Posted by: Baracky O'Cracky at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (EgshT)

269 Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they all know each other?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (A5zUN)

Yes, but I decided to act like a gentleman for a change and not point that out!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (jnM20)

270 Judging by the position? WTH is that guy talking about?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (r+sAi)

271 Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they all know each other?

Posted by: Aetius451AD

When I was in the Navy, I was visiting some friends and a chick came up to me and said "My brother's in the Navy. Do you know him ?"

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (arJlL)

272 Now, imagine you*re a male catholic school teacher,
and your fellow female teachers see that "hand sign" in a team picture.
They assume it*w bad, but don*t know what it means, so they ask you.
Do you tell them? Because I*ve been there.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (xvPar)

A friend of my husband's had to explain it to his wife, when we happened to all be hanging out. She was drunk as hell, and several times I caught her looking down at her hand with a really confused look on her face.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (OzQGF)

273 I saw James Early Jones open for River Tam ... or was that Jubal Early ... at the First Battle of Bull Run in '61.

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (WqPYg)

274 Lady: "Why are you here?"

Cop: "Because your daughter is going to play in other people's homes and you're allowing that to happen."

Wisconsin. Now.
Posted by: Soothsayer

This the city, Madison, Wisconsin. The majority of its citizen sit at home cowering in fear but some parents allow their children to play with other children. That's where I come in. My name is Friday and I carry a badge.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (+y/Ru)

275 Our Zimbabwean son is more conservative than any kids his age you'll meet.

For the past three years he's been watching and studying the locals, and still can't believe what he sees.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (ptqGC)

276 it was a dark and horny night...
Posted by: GnuBreed at May 01, 2020 08:45 PM

The maid screamed. A door slammed.
Wow. Snoopy was writing erotic fiction.

Posted by: Chuck C at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (r6GXX)

277 At least Cooper's mother didn't live to see her son's societal outrage.

Poor child.

Posted by: torabora at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (Qw0AP)

278 PNW morons

Email me.
I want to hang out by a campfire, drink too much and sleep outside.

Next weekend or the weekend after.
Not kidding. Ive had it.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (U2p+3)

279 Cop: "Because your daughter is going to play in other people's homes and you're allowing that to happen."

Wisconsin. Now.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:07 PM (VjAHi)

She did not ask the magically question that would have sent them on their way "why officer, please let me see you warrant that allows you on my property or the statute of the suspected committed crime" - because both of those are unanswerable. The whims of the governor or the mayor are not statutes that can be violated. Period. While there are plenty of poor local county ordinance judges that might back up law enforcement and fine someone without a statute to site or fine or penalty assigned - no appeals state court would uphold nor any federal court for that matter...they would be a laughing stock, and they know it.

Posted by: Boswell at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (32YRo)

280 >Judging by the position? WTH is that guy talking about?
Posted by: Guy Mohawk
'

he read "Gynecology For Dummies"

Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 09:13 PM (iTXRQ)

281 270 Judging by the position? WTH is that guy talking about?
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (r+sAi)

He thinks the female organs are located in the no-go neighborhoods of Paris.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:13 PM (dOV9E)

282 Don't forget Cobra.

And Komi is a sleazebag.

Posted by: Fritz at May 01, 2020 09:13 PM (95j/9)

283 Africa: It's like a whole 'nother country!

Posted by: klaftern at May 01, 2020 09:13 PM (RuIsu)

284 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (U2p+3)

I like it better when you can say "meep"!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 01, 2020 09:13 PM (jnM20)

285 Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they all know each other?

Posted by: Aetius451AD

That's just projection.

Posted by: Mercator Miklos at May 01, 2020 09:13 PM (QzkSJ)

286 Guilty...
Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (Ae67h)

No worries, man. I got a chuckle out of it is all.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:13 PM (A5zUN)

287 "judging by the position of female vagina" ??? vs male vagina, which is easily accessible...
Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (zr5Kq)

"Rachel" Levine to the white courtesy phone. We need a ruling on this.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (LZcDP)

288 ...the FEMALE vagina???

Sedagive???

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (RMN7W)

289 I don't know which side the other side is....

*hangs head in shame*
Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (Ae67h)

Haha, it's ok.

Nigeria, Ghana, and several others - West Africa.
Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, etc. - East
South Africa, Namibia, Zimbabwe - Southern
North Africa is the Arabs, Berbers and such (Egypt, Morocco, Tunisia, etc) . I don't think they identify with sub Saharan Africa, though.

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (9hauA)

290 A pet peeve though is talking about Africa as if it's a country.

I usually politely ask, what part of Africa?
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:11 PM (9hauA)

*****

Why would they call them African-Americans if Africa wasn't a country?

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (Ae67h)

291 256 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (U2p+3)

You hear that? That is the Sound of Ultimate Suffering!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (NWiLs)

292 278
PNW morons

Email me.

I want to hang out by a campfire, drink too much and sleep outside.

Next weekend or the weekend after.

Not kidding. Ive had it.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (U2p+3)

I'm in! But you already knew that.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (OzQGF)

293 Ladies, nobody's done more to protect women than me. You can trust that ol' Joe has your six, kinda like grabbing a six pack.

Posted by: Drink Like "Ladyfingers" Biden at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (kBEOO)

294 Night Shift takes place at Christmas. Well, it takes place over a season, but it ends around Christmas.

Posted by: ace at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (PbpT7)

295 Why would they call them African-Americans if Africa wasn't a country?
Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (Ae67h)

And where would they speak African, if not Africa?

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (t+qrx)

296 You can just say vagina.

The female part is redundant.

~ things you have to explain to a progressive

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (LeHP0)

297 Grammie Winger has ecounter with cop in Wisconsin:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYXpZ3GFx4k

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:06 PM (VjAHi)

Fuck you Barney Fife would have been the best response to those 2 twats

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (ekmlY)

298 You hear that? That is the Sound of Ultimate Suffering!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (NWiLs)

My heart made that sound when Rougan slaughtered my father...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (A5zUN)

299
African immigrant?

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (t5m5e)

300 I wrote Wyoming has had 7 deaths from Chinese Lung disease, so should only be about 93 people left.

Posted by: Skip at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (ZCEU2)

301 Our Zimbabwean son is more conservative than any kids his age you'll meet.

For the past three years he's been watching and studying the locals, and still can't believe what he sees.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (ptqGC)

Reminds me of my cultural shock when I got to college. I had visited the US a number of times, but that was usually on vacation with my family.

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (9hauA)

302 Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:10 PM (Ae67h)

Haha, it's ok.

Nigeria, Ghana, and several others - West Africa.
Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, etc. - East
South Africa, Namibia, Zimbabwe - Southern
North Africa is the Arabs, Berbers and such (Egypt, Morocco, Tunisia, etc) . I don't think they identify with sub Saharan Africa, though.
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (9hauA)

************

OK, all kidding aside, thanks for the shot of geographical knowledge you just threw me there.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (Ae67h)

303 *culture* shock

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (9hauA)

304 Fondue sets for Namibia

https://tinyurl.com/ybuufq4c

Posted by: Miklos, making merry at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (QzkSJ)

305 296 You can just say vagina.

The female part is redundant.

~ things you have to explain to a progressive
Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (LeHP0)

These are the people who believe there's such a thing as a biologically female penis...

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (NWiLs)

306 247 Anyone else notice the joke about chique being asked is she knew someone else from Africa- like it was Canada, which has like 10 people and they all know each other?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (A5zUN)

-----------------------------

At least they didn't ask if she knew the Ghanaian pall bearers.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (CAJOC)

307
You hear that? That is the Sound of Ultimate Suffering!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (NWiLs)

But only mostly dead.

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (LeHP0)

308 Reminds me of my cultural shock when I got to college. I had visited the US a number of times, but that was usually on vacation with my family.
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (9hauA)

What was the most shocking thing?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:17 PM (A5zUN)

309 294
Night Shift takes place at Christmas. Well, it takes place over a season, but it ends around Christmas.

Posted by: ace at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (PbpT7)

I love that movie.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:17 PM (OzQGF)

310
Cop: "So you can either acknowledge it or argue it."

Lady: "I'm acknowledging it."

Cop: "Okay. Stop having your kid go by other peoples' home."

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:17 PM (VjAHi)

311 223
210 Young Hillary? If I had no idea who she was or would become...

I have made worse decisions...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:02 PM (A5zUN)

You know she smelled really bad then, because of her lackadaisical approach to hygiene, right? Still willing?

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:04 PM (dOV9E)

________
I was attempting to seduce a young woman in college (early 80's) and when she put on a tank top to display her armpit hair? Total turnoff ...

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:17 PM (WqPYg)

312 Now that I think about it, he may actually have a point.

If you're looking for a liberal woman's pussy, he's usually at home.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 09:17 PM (Y2CFz)

313 And where would they speak African, if not Africa?
Posted by: hogmartin

tru dat

Posted by: hip and with-it Miklos at May 01, 2020 09:18 PM (QzkSJ)

314
Quick, 80's Mystery Lyrics:

I, I live among the creatures of the night
I haven't got the will to try and fight
Against a new tomorrow, so I guess I'll just believe it
That tomorrow never knows

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:18 PM (VjAHi)

315 African immigrant?
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at May 01, 2020 09:16 PM (t5m5e)

That's what I figured, from his name, appearance and sentence construction.

I bet he's East African, not one of us, LOL.

/jk

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:18 PM (9hauA)

316 >>> Night Shift takes place at Christmas. Well, it takes place over a season, but it ends around Christmas.

Posted by: ace

Such a great, quotable movie for us high schoolers in the 80's. Mr. Mom with the Fonz.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:18 PM (xvPar)

317 The party belongs to TFG, and that means that if he did not want stink finger joe to run, all he had to do is quietly tell him "I will not endorse you."�

He had the power to pick whomever the fuck he wanted and that person would have won the primary

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 01, 2020 09:08 PM (LWu6U)

I'm certain he said exactly that. But the fact is, all of Obastard's power was borrowed. Obamacare was care of the greedy HMOs: the Iran deal was the brainchild of ValJar, State Department airheads, and CIA dirtbags. The Clintons developed their power because they were unchallenged after economic expansion. Obama was decisively rejected in 2016, and I can't imagine actual Americans are ready to go back to that. Illegal aliens, New York elites, and Chicoms want the bad old days, of course, but there's a solution to them too.

Posted by: trev006 at May 01, 2020 09:18 PM (0HpOW)

318 >I love that movie.
Posted by: Jordan61

Shelley Long made scrambled eggs in that movie

Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 01, 2020 09:18 PM (iTXRQ)

319 295 Why would they call them African-Americans if Africa wasn't a country?
Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:14 PM (Ae67h)

And where would they speak African, if not Africa?
Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (t+qrx)

*****

Good point.

I'll see if they offer that language on Rosetta Stone.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (Ae67h)

320 JT @ 271- My brother is in the Navy, do you know him?
and then 'His name is John Smith.'

Posted by: Eromero at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (XhWtx)

321
Years and years ago some judge, a doddering white fossil, famously observed regarding rape, that "you can't thread a moving needle."

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (t5m5e)

322 At least they didn't ask if she knew the Ghanaian pall bearers.
Posted by: No One of C

I wish I did, though!

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (9hauA)

323 "These are the people who believe there's such a thing as a biologically female penis..."

And...hand babies.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (zRJXx)

324 And where would they speak African, if not Africa?

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 09:15 PM (t+qrx)

Well duh, I speak European.

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (2N7oZ)

325 Joe Biden appears on Law N Order lecturing about rape...
https://twitter.com/ThomasIsOnline/status/
1256061051449335809

No joke.

Posted by: andycanuck at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (TQ/zJ)

326

If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

327 Drinking Icelandic Schnapps. Tastes of distilled whale blubber with a kiss of 3-In-1 Oil

Posted by: Regular joe at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (6/uwW)

328 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

hmmm....why do you ask ?

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (zr5Kq)

329 I, I live among the creatures of the night

I haven't got the will to try and fight

Against a new tomorrow, so I guess I'll just believe it

That tomorrow never knows

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:18 PM (VjAHi)

I could sing it for you, but don't know who it is offhand without cheating.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (OzQGF)

330 322 At least they didn't ask if she knew the Ghanaian pall bearers.
Posted by: No One of C

I wish I did, though!
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (9hauA)

Really tempted to make a will that specifies that those guys will be my pallbearers, even if they have to be flown out at the expense of my heirs.

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (dOV9E)

331 Joe Biden appears on Law N Order lecturing about rape...
https://twitter.com/ThomasIsOnline/status/
1256061051449335809

No joke.
Posted by: andycanuck at May 01, 2020 09:19 PM (TQ/zJ)

If you can get it in it isn't rape?

Posted by: Burnt Toast at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (1g7ch)

332 Self Control - Laura Branagan(sp?)
Great song and really cool video.

Posted by: I Have Questions at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (+v+zN)

333 Soothsayer, I got the earworm now, I can hear the song but don't know the name.

Whoa-oa, *chord*, oh-whoa-oa, *chord*

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (kBEOO)

334
hmmm....why do you ask ?

Posted by: runner

Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?

Posted by: Indian Chief at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (VjAHi)

335 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

Juan Valdez

Posted by: Juan Valdez at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (1g7ch)

336 Really tempted to make a will that specifies that those guys will be my pallbearers, even if they have to be flown out at the expense of my heirs.
Posted by: Splunge

That is ap-palling.

Posted by: formerly hip and with-it Miklos at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (QzkSJ)

337 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer

<<<<<<<<
Mr. Soothsayer.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (r+sAi)

338 JT @ 271- My brother is in the Navy, do you know him?
and then 'His name is John Smith.'
Posted by: Eromero

There have been a few times in my life when I was speechless, and that was one of them.

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2020 09:22 PM (arJlL)

339
I knew the girls would know that song.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:22 PM (VjAHi)

340 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

Barack Hussein Obama

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 01, 2020 09:22 PM (ekmlY)

341 244
L.A. Confidential starts at Christmas.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 01, 2020 09:07 PM (+y/Ru)

_________

Great movie. Need to watch that again -- it's been awhile. Guy Pearce is one of my favorite actors (since I first saw him in "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"). Haven't seen him in much of anything publicized in quite a while ...

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:22 PM (WqPYg)

342 333
Soothsayer, I got the earworm now, I can hear the song but don't know the name.

Whoa-oa, *chord*, oh-whoa-oa, *chord*

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (kBEOO)

HA! Me too.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:22 PM (OzQGF)

343 >>> Joe Biden appears on Law N Order lecturing about rape...
https://twitter.com/ThomasIsOnline/status/
1256061051449335809

No joke.
Posted by: andycanuck

I stopped watching Parks and Recreation when he appeared on the show. Amy Poehler had a huge (IRL too) crush on him.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:22 PM (xvPar)

344
You tell the cops your last name is Deez.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:22 PM (VjAHi)

345 Is Lindsay Graham drunk?

Posted by: Concerned People's Front at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (vGJY7)

346 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

Juan Valdez

That's only if you get pulled over for leaking oil.

Posted by: Miklos from Standard Oil at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (QzkSJ)

347 What was the most shocking thing?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:17 PM (A5zUN)

There were so many things. First, I went to an HBCU, so I don't know what the experience would have been at a white school. But here are a few:

All the cussing (every other word, it seemed)

All the smoking, especially by girls

Seemed like almost no one had a dad

Guys spitting on the concrete as they walked

The poor grammar

But I have to say, the school was filled with gorgeous people. Not so much in grad school.

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (9hauA)

348 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Fred Flintstone

Posted by: dartist at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (K22Va)

349 335 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

Juan Valdez
Posted by: Juan Valdez at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (1g7ch)

Xavier Becerra.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (3bNB6)

350 Hey Blanco Basura, just FYI it looks like your reverse proxy is having issues or something.

It's the hosting company. They've screwed something up again. Glad I only paid 11 bucks for the year.

I'd be pissed if anyone was actually using it. Maybe once things settle down for me I can relaunch on a working platform.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (SchxB)

351 Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?
Posted by: Indian Chief at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (VjAHi)

huh ?

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (zr5Kq)

352 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

Jose Jimenez.

Posted by: That joke never get's old and you can use it to vote in 27 states at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (2N7oZ)

353 Is Lindsay Graham drunk?
Posted by: Concerned People's Front

And if not, why not?

Posted by: Miklos, Actual Constituent at May 01, 2020 09:24 PM (QzkSJ)

354
Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?
Posted by: Indian Chief at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (VjAHi)

huh ?

Posted by: runner

Can someone else field this question? I'm lousy at telling jokes.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:24 PM (VjAHi)

355 326

If any cop asks your name, what do you say?
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

It's Youllnevertakemealivecopper Jones.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:24 PM (NWiLs)

356 Sweet potato fries and honey mustard. That is all.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 09:24 PM (Y2CFz)

357 Posted by: nurse ratched at May 01, 2020 09:12 PM (U2p+3)

'Sup!? Why the grumpiness?

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at May 01, 2020 09:24 PM (Ds0hh)

358 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?
Puddin' Tane. Ask me again, and I'll tell you the same.

Posted by: Baracky O'Cracky at May 01, 2020 09:24 PM (EgshT)

359 I'm a staffer and have decided that if I am ever sexually assaulted by a Democrat, I will come out saying it was a Republican and then accuse the Dem only after all the media and Dem operatives have committed to supporting me.

Posted by: Fen at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (WE806)

360 Andy Cohen and his son Ben offer congrats to Andi Cooper and his son Wyatt:

https://tinyurl.com/ybron5t9

I wonder what the going rate is for a healthy baby boy now?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (ptqGC)

361 Really tempted to make a will that specifies that those guys will be my pallbearers, even if they have to be flown out at the expense of my heirs.
Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (dOV9E)

Do it. You only die once.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (Z+IKu)

362 You know what other movie takes place at Christmas?
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at May 01, 2020 08:43 PM (iydjf)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Next Friday?

Posted by: boomers remember stuff at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (+U5Yr)

363

last name Deez
first name Bofa

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (VjAHi)

364 Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (9hauA)

Huh, I am not surprised by the cussing or the spitting.

I am most surprised by the smoking. My experience of foreign countries is that smoking is MORE prevalent there. Could be a difference of the times, however.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (A5zUN)

365 I'm a staffer and have decided that if I am ever sexually assaulted by a Democrat, I will come out saying it was a Republican and then accuse the Dem only after all the media and Dem operatives have committed to supporting me.
Posted by: Fen at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (WE806)

Brilliant!

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (9hauA)

366 J. Cheevers Loophole

Posted by: dartist at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (K22Va)

367 Can someone else field this question? I'm lousy at telling jokes.
Posted by: Soothsayer

You aren't here for the hunting, are you.

Posted by: old memes at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (Qf83p)

368 Dad joke:

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
.
.
.
.
The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones,
But the people in Abu Dhabi Doo

Posted by: IrishEi at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (sGotD)

369 >>>If any cop asks your name, what do you say?
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi

Tater Salad

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (xvPar)

370 Jose Jimenez.

Posted by: That joke never get's old and you can use it to vote in 27 states at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (2N7oZ)

Is that your Crash Helmet, Jose?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (A5zUN)

371 Shain, there maybe all of three people that saw "Priscilla" and you and I are two of them.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (hEt8h)

372 I wonder what the going rate is for a healthy baby boy now?
Posted by: Jane D'oh

Not as much as you'd think.

Posted by: Harry Reid at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (QzkSJ)

373 Home Alone takes place at Christmas.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (q1Pj5)

374 Why hasn't this man been asked to step down?
He deleted the tweet, but plenty of people screen grabbed it.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (wiXsO)

375 �Is he saying vaginas can only be female?

Posted by: Sjg at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (gDSJf)

Oh snap!

Posted by: The 1980's at May 01, 2020 09:27 PM (VE8d+)

376 I keep thinking of all the scolds who claim they oppose Trump on principle because he said golddigger celebrity groupies will let you grab them by the pussy for a chance to marry your bank account.

And here is Joe Biden who LITERALLY grabbed a coworker by the pussy. Where are all these principled pearl clutchers now?

Posted by: Fen at May 01, 2020 09:27 PM (WE806)

377 Home Alone takes place at Christmas.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (q1Pj5)

That's because Home Alone is Die Hard.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 09:27 PM (Y2CFz)

378 351 Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?
Posted by: Indian Chief at May 01, 2020 09:21 PM (VjAHi)

huh ?
Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 09:23 PM (zr5Kq)

**********

An old joke/gag is that when an Indian baby was born, the father went outside the teepee, and he would name his son after the first thing he saw.

So the gag is this unfortunate Indian was named after the first thing his father saw outside the teepee, which was....

Get it?

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:27 PM (Ae67h)

379 So you cannot just grab them by the pussy?

Posted by: Spiff The Spaceman at May 01, 2020 09:27 PM (4ps1Q)

380 Our Zimbabwean son was stunned by the sloppiness of some of the yutes here. And the language, and the lack of respect toward women.

And he fell in love with all the cars.

He's such a great kid.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (ptqGC)

381 What about the male vagina? He didn't talk about that.

Posted by: Andy_in_Colorado at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (vya2L)

382 Hope I don't get barreled for pasting:
A Native American brave was curious as to how he had received his name.
So he went to speak to his father, the chieftain of the tribe.

"Father," he asked, "how is it that I acquired my name.

The noble chieftain began a long narrative for his youngest son.

"Well, my son, I named you and both of your brothers for an event which
occurred on the day each of you were born. For example, the day your
eldest brother was born, I saw a deer running swiftly through the
forest, so I named him Deer Running Swiftly.

"Likewise, when your middle brother was born, the rain was pouring hard outside of the wigwam, so I named him Rain Pouring Hard.

"Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (r+sAi)

383 And he fell in love with all the cars.

He's such a great kid.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (ptqGC)

Show him some tail fins and you will make a forever American out of him.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (A5zUN)

384

Watching Shoot to Kill tonight. Tom Berenger and Sidney Poitier. Taut suspenseful movie. Recommended!

Posted by: E buzz the Reverend at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (bU/8L)

385 Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:27 PM (Ae67h)

Ah. Thank you, you deserve a drink. Go ahead and have a beverage of your choice !

Posted by: runner at May 01, 2020 09:29 PM (zr5Kq)

386 >>! Dad joke:

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
.
.
.
.
The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones,
But the people in Abu Dhabi Doo
Posted by: IrishEi at May

Guess who's teenager daughter will be greeted with a new joke tonight!

Thanks, E!

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:29 PM (xvPar)

387
An old joke/gag is that when an Indian baby was born, the father went outside the teepee, and he would name his son after the first thing he saw.

So the gag is this unfortunate Indian was named after the first thing his father saw outside the teepee, which was....

Get it?

Posted by: El Jefe

Quick, get this guy to Vegas!

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:29 PM (VjAHi)

388 I am most surprised by the smoking. My experience of foreign countries is that smoking is MORE prevalent there. Could be a difference of the times, however.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (A5zUN)

Depends on the country. I saw very few people smoking growing up. In fact, smoke was kind of scandalous even for men. Absolutely scandalous for a woman.

So you can imagine my shock, when as a kid I visited Turkey and EVERYONE smoked. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

Funny enough, my dad smoked before I was born but I believe it was just social smoking (he was a diplomat). He would occasionally smoke cigars with his friends when I was a kid, but by the time I was a teenager, he never smoked.

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at May 01, 2020 09:30 PM (9hauA)

389 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 01, 2020 09:30 PM (q1Pj5)

390 So Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, and First Blood all took place at Christmas.

Weird.

Posted by Ace

Not really. It's the cheap move to set up some atmosphere and take advantage of the western fondness for Christmas.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 01, 2020 08:40 PM (UdCe2)

That was also the season they were released, as Christmas was when major releases would fight it out.

Posted by: Oldcat at May 01, 2020 09:31 PM (eoQWY)

391 Long Kiss Goodnight

also at Christmas (iirc) ... I liked that movie ... Frank and Ernest also enjoyed it.

Posted by: illiniwek at May 01, 2020 09:31 PM (Cus5s)

392 Watching Shoot to Kill tonight. Tom Berenger and Sidney Poitier. Taut suspenseful movie. Recommended!

Posted by: E buzz the Reverend at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (bU/8L)

Clancy Brown too, IIRC. Have not seen it in... 25 years, but I liked it.

'You big city guys do this shit a lot?'

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:31 PM (A5zUN)

393 387
An old joke/gag is that when an Indian baby was born, the father went outside the teepee, and he would name his son after the first thing he saw.

So the gag is this unfortunate Indian was named after the first thing his father saw outside the teepee, which was....

Get it?

Posted by: El Jefe

Quick, get this guy to Vegas!
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:29 PM (VjAHi)

*****

Thank you. Try the veal and tip your waitress.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:31 PM (Ae67h)

394 Hey anyone remember "Teach Men Not to Rape"?

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 09:31 PM (Y2CFz)

395 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

Raymond Luxury Yacht

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 01, 2020 09:31 PM (ekmlY)

396
"Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

Posted by: Guy Mohawk

I heard this in elementary school. Still funny.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (VjAHi)

397 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

I'd like to speak to an attorney.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (OzQGF)

398 >>> Watching Shoot to Kill tonight. Tom Berenger and Sidney Poitier. Taut suspenseful movie. Recommended!

Posted by: E buzz the Reverend at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (bU/8L)

And a hot Kirstie Alley

Posted by: Turn Two at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (xvPar)

399 389 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Posted by: Count de Monet at May 01, 2020 09:30 PM (q1Pj5)

*****

His name is my name too...

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (Ae67h)

400 391
Long Kiss Goodnight

also at Christmas (iirc) ... I liked that movie ... Frank and Ernest also enjoyed it.

Posted by: illiniwek at May 01, 2020 09:31 PM (Cus5s)

*snort*

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (OzQGF)

401 397 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

I'd like to speak to an attorney.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (OzQGF)

Kind of lacks the funny.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:33 PM (A5zUN)

402 Andy Cohen and his son Ben offer congrats to Andi Cooper and his son Wyatt:

https://tinyurl.com/ybron5t9

I wonder what the going rate is for a healthy baby boy now?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:25 PM (ptqGC)

Don't hear much about daughters, either.

Posted by: Oldcat at May 01, 2020 09:34 PM (eoQWY)

403 God bless that sweet, innocent little baby.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:03 PM (ptqGC)

That poor kid.
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:09 PM (NWiLs)

Poor little bastard, in fact. A baby born out of wedlock is indeed a bastard.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 01, 2020 09:34 PM (LZcDP)

404 >>Watching Shoot to Kill tonight. Tom Berenger and Sidney Poitier. Taut suspenseful movie. Recommended!

My wife TIVO'd Survivor - Winners at War - or some such nonsense - we're watching that tonight as a family instead of Corona news - Go Boston Rob!

Posted by: Boswell at May 01, 2020 09:35 PM (32YRo)

405 Ther's not enough tequila in the world to make Hillary a 1. There just isn't.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia

I don't know, mate. Brain wipe her circa 1980 (and a la Larry Niven, I think) and she's a body #1.
Keep the personality. And she's a solid negative 3 billion.

Posted by: BifBewalski at May 01, 2020 09:35 PM (VcFUs)

406 If a cops asks your name, what do you say?

INSOMNIAC!

Covers all the bases.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 01, 2020 09:35 PM (hEt8h)

407 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

My husband has a friend whose wife has enormous breasts (that she loves to show off).

She has a running joke about being pulled over. "I've got my license and registration right here, officer." While hefting both boobs up.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 01, 2020 09:36 PM (ptqGC)

408 356
Sweet potato fries and honey mustard. That is all.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 09:24 PM (Y2CFz)

_________

Is this what Gwenyth Paltrow is putting up her mish now?

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:36 PM (WqPYg)

409 f any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

Maria Garcia and I can vote in 57 states.

Posted by: Infidel at May 01, 2020 09:36 PM (nvc6v)

410 >> One in the pink, one in the stink

That reminds me, Hope Solo gave birth to twins the other day.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 01, 2020 09:36 PM (rCwaK)

411 Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:36 PM (WqPYg)

I set 'em up, you knock 'em down.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2020 09:36 PM (Y2CFz)

412 >> If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Puddin in tame, ask me again, I'll tell you the same.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 01, 2020 09:37 PM (rCwaK)

413 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

Ask your Mom.

Posted by: jsg at May 01, 2020 09:37 PM (LeHP0)

414 Kind of lacks the funny.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:33 PM (A5zUN)

Yeah, I'm a true crime buff. I don't know why anyone ever ever talks to the cops without an attorney.

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:37 PM (OzQGF)

415 That reminds me, Hope Solo gave birth to twins the other day.

Guess she didn't hope hard enough.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 09:37 PM (SchxB)

416 368
Dad joke:

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

.

.

.

.

The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones,

But the people in Abu Dhabi Doo

Posted by: IrishEi at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (sGotD)

________

I laughed way too hard at this for a 29-year-old.

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:37 PM (WqPYg)

417 Tim Burton's Batman Returns also took place on Christmas. The best Batman stories are always at winter time.
Posted by: Max Power at May 01, 2020 08:55 PM (QCc6B)

That's the only time of year you can think of anything but of how dank and sweaty that Bat Outfit they have on must be.

Posted by: Oldcat at May 01, 2020 09:37 PM (eoQWY)

418 I'd like to speak to an attorney.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (OzQGF)

Kind of lacks the funny.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 01, 2020 09:33 PM (A5zUN)

How about "I'm calling my attorney because he'd like to speak to you" for a much more comedy gold moment....

Posted by: Boswell at May 01, 2020 09:38 PM (32YRo)

419 Website is fixed and back in all it's boring glory.

Still not useful.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - hiding out in the secret mountain lair at May 01, 2020 09:38 PM (SchxB)

420 The party of slavery, segregation, rape, baby-killing, gender confusion, coercion, confiscation, non-free press, etc.

I'm leaving out a lot.

Posted by: Emmie at May 01, 2020 09:38 PM (ouBhA)

421 418 How about "I'm calling my attorney because he'd like to speak to you" for a much more comedy gold moment....
Posted by: Boswell at May 01, 2020 09:38 PM (32YRo)

Still not all that funny. How about "I'm calling my attorney, Michael Avenatti, because he'd like to speak to you"

Posted by: Splunge at May 01, 2020 09:39 PM (dOV9E)

422 371
Shain, there maybe all of three people that saw "Priscilla" and you and I are two of them.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 01, 2020 09:26 PM (hEt8h)

________

Heh. The ex brought it home on VHS one night and I looked at the cover and thought "Oh God, I'm gonna hate this." But we really enjoyed it ...

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:39 PM (WqPYg)

423

Whoa

Bonus NOOD

bonus nood!

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:39 PM (VjAHi)

424 397 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

I'd like to speak to an attorney.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (OzQGF)

^This. Or "I invoke my right to remain silent and not answer any questions without my attorney."

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:40 PM (NWiLs)

425 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Heywood Jablowme

Posted by: dartist at May 01, 2020 09:40 PM (K22Va)

426 > Shelley Long made scrambled eggs in that movie

Long ago I had a VHS copy of that movie taped off cable.

After a while, that kitchen scene got all staticy from being rewound and played too many times.

I was never a big Shelley Long man, but she was prime in that movie, and especially in that scene.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 01, 2020 09:41 PM (mNq/0)

427
Anderson Cooper announces birth of his son via surrogate:

https://tinyurl.com/y9k75atg

Posted by: redridinghood at May 01, 2020 09:41 PM (wiXsO)

428 bonus nood!
Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:39 PM (VjAHi)

This one speaks the truth.

Posted by: hogmartin at May 01, 2020 09:41 PM (t+qrx)

429 I hope that the horde realizes that everyone of these "arrested for having a play date" or even "fined and harassed for a play date" or even "detained for not wearing a mask" is entirely unenforceable anywhere in America. Oh sure, I've heard the 1905 Supreme Court ruling about quarantines, but it was qualified by its time limits and evidence that any violator had reasonable evidentiary likelihood of creating the situation for their quarantine - none exists in any of these permit revocations or detainments for violations of the Governor's or Mayor's whims.

Posted by: Boswell at May 01, 2020 09:44 PM (32YRo)

430 Watching Shoot to Kill tonight. Tom Berenger and Sidney Poitier. Taut suspenseful movie. Recommended!

Posted by: E buzz the Reverend at May 01, 2020 09:28 PM (bU/8L)

_________

Just finished listening to Portier read his autobiography on an audiobook. Really good and fascinating life -- and the lessons he's learned. Became a leftist of course in the 50's and 60's, but strikes me as having discarded that as he grew more wise.

Always think of him from one of my mom's favorite movies "Lilies of the Field."

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:45 PM (WqPYg)

431 Oh, one thing either I never knew or have since forgotten was the Sidney Poitier directed the hilarious 1980 movie with Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor "Stir Crazy."

Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:47 PM (WqPYg)

432 Brazil also takes place at Christmas.

Posted by: Kurtz at May 01, 2020 09:47 PM (0YZ6P)

433 Since we are now talking about talking to cops in both a funny way and a serious way...

I *believe* that there is a requirement to "identify yourself" if asked by a cop.

Now, I'm pretty sure that there has to be an articulate-able *reason* for the cop to ask you your name.

Like if he pulls you over for an alledged traffic violation, you gotta identify yourself.

If he stops you because you legitimately fit the description of a robbery suspect, or he suspects you of a crime (legitimately)...you gotta identify yourself.

If you are just in the area, and he doesn't like you, but you are not doing anything illegal or legitimately suspect...he can't legally force you to ID yourself.

However, this all academic on this blog post.

When you are actually face to face with the guy...what is legal,... what is the law... usually becomes the law of the jungle.

Posted by: El Jefe at May 01, 2020 09:48 PM (Ae67h)

434 Any relation to the Jim Comeys of the District of Columbia? Good folks.

Posted by: Mr. Barky at May 01, 2020 09:56 PM (JI3du)

435 Nurse, I'm sorry you are feeling down.

I wish I could do something positive.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 01, 2020 09:56 PM (WyVLE)

436 Great movie. Need to watch that again -- it's been awhile. Guy Pearce is one of my favorite actors (since I first saw him in "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"). Haven't seen him in much of anything publicized in quite a while ...
Posted by: ShainS -- Failure has a thousand Faucis, but Success is an OrangeMan at May 01, 2020 09:22 PM (WqPYg)

He was in that hideous progressive "dark" Christmas Carol last year. Played Scrooge.

Posted by: Sal at May 01, 2020 09:58 PM (bo8pf)

437 424 397 If any cop asks your name, what do you say?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 01, 2020 09:20 PM (VjAHi)

I'd like to speak to an attorney.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 01, 2020 09:32 PM (OzQGF)

^This. Or "I invoke my right to remain silent and not answer any questions without my attorney."
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 01, 2020 09:40 PM (NWiLs)

These days, you cough uncontrollably.

Posted by: West at May 01, 2020 10:00 PM (j0Esu)

438 Point of order: if a cop asks to see your ID you have to give it to him, or identify yourself.
Then when he starts asking questions, say "Am I free to go?" ("Am i being detained?")
If no walk away. If yes, button your lip and ask for an attoney

Posted by: artemis at May 01, 2020 10:24 PM (AwPyG)

439 Identifying yourself is not considered an unreasonable search or seizure

Posted by: artemis at May 01, 2020 10:25 PM (AwPyG)

440 The gender transition surgeon apparently installed Komi's new vagina on his kneecap.

Posted by: vrf at May 01, 2020 11:02 PM (seg9l)

441 I still don't understand how it was discerned that police have the right to make you get out of your car without probable cause. And arrest you if you don't cooperate.

Posted by: EdmundBurkesShade at May 01, 2020 11:25 PM (gSgAd)

442 Didn't this guy ever wrestle with some girl in the backseat of a car?

Posted by: Comanche Voter at May 02, 2020 12:42 AM (NvbIF)

443 The Party is your Cooperation.
Your Cooperation is the Party.

Posted by: Khun Ty at May 02, 2020 01:34 AM (g5o/M)

444 3 Days of the Condor also takes place at Christmas.

Posted by: Patrick at May 02, 2020 03:51 AM (Cp1fC)

445 their, there, they're

Posted by: rozel at May 02, 2020 09:25 AM (EJ2Rs)

446 so all this asshat would accept is if the woman took off the offending fingers.this guy is a true Democrat. in the Jack Kennedy/Chris Dodd mold (sandwich)

Posted by: politic uber alles at May 02, 2020 01:03 PM (0hOKG)

447 "Judging by the position of the female vagina"

But enough about Notorious RBG!

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at May 02, 2020 04:29 PM (Ndje9)

448 ps: "female vagina"?

As opposed to...

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at May 02, 2020 04:30 PM (Ndje9)

449 Komi comes from a country in Africa, a Muslim country I believe, so he would be an expert on how to shove things up women's vaginas easily, right?

How would a mere woman know these things?

A Woman

Posted by: Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup at May 02, 2020 06:50 PM (xZjSg)

450 he is a 'refugee' from Nigeria

impressive immigrant

Posted by: ploome at May 02, 2020 07:35 PM (9bzf/)

451 There, their, there is no their, there.

Posted by: Michelle at May 02, 2020 07:39 PM (L/Kt9)

452 There, their, there is no they're there.

Posted by: Michelle at May 02, 2020 07:40 PM (L/Kt9)

453 Bill Clinton

Posted by: Tamaa the Drongo Bird at May 04, 2020 04:51 PM (FLiOE)

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