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China Makes Anal Humiliation Mandatory for All Foreigners

You don't have to be an Austrian psychoanalyst to understand the symbolism of their demand that everyone in the world bend over and spread 'em.

China has made anal swab tests for the coronavirus mandatory for almost all international arrivals, deepening a row with other countries over a practice many have described as humiliating.

The Japanese government has already raised concern about its citizens being subjected to the "undignified" procedure while American diplomats have also complained. Katsunobu Kato, Japan's chief cabinet secretary, said it would ask China to alter its testing regimen after some Japanese travellers reported suffering "psychological pain" from the invasive procedure.

As a possible compromise Lu Hongzhou, a Shanghai-based doctor, told China's state media that the anal swab could be substituted with a stool sample.

Whoa, what an amazing compromise! Who's negotiating here, Mitch McConnell?

Of course, it is American weakness that encourages Chinese belligerence. When China ordered Biden's diplomats to take a rod up their asses, they did not point out that they were immune to such demands by the Geneva Conventions.

Instead, they meekly took it up the ass, because they thought it would be "homophobic" to refuse to be sodomized.

drseussanalswab

Posted by: Ace at 12:03 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 LOL !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at March 04, 2021 12:03 PM (AKJpt)

2 YIKES

Posted by: DoublySymmetric (iPad) at March 04, 2021 12:03 PM (XeEyo)

3 Mitch would have at least attempted a conscience carve out before caving.

Posted by: DoublySymmetric (iPad) at March 04, 2021 12:04 PM (XeEyo)

4 Hahaaha!

Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at March 04, 2021 12:04 PM (46GDR)

5 For Valley Forge:

https://tinyurl.com/2j3hwmyw

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:04 PM (LvTSG)

6 GAH!

Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:04 PM (W+kMI)

7 Hey, if there's one thing commies got down pat, it's psychological humiliation, amirite ?

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at March 04, 2021 12:04 PM (AKJpt)

8 :: checks "List of Foreign Countries to Visit" ::
:: does not see Red China ::
:: makes no changes to list ::

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (Jsjd7)

9 Stool sample? I'll leave it in the corner.

Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (46GDR)

10 Chinese takeout?

Posted by: Mishdog at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (cqAUI)

11 Or... gee... I've got an idea.

Stop going to China to do business with them. Shut them down. They need the rest of the world a LOT more than we need them.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (oHd/0)

12 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?

Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (45fpk)

13 When TJM gets a FIRST with one of his jiggly gifs, the blog will likely collapse. Be prepared.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (Jsjd7)

14 The swab being infused with super covid

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (Zmnko)

15 Q-Anon Tips?

Posted by: Miklos, just guessing at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (QzkSJ)

16 I do not like it stuck in there.

I do not want it anywhere!

Posted by: psychotic dwarf at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (UnQlg)

17 Yet another reason to hate the PRC government. They are also right off my list of holiday tourism spots.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (W+kMI)

18 Instituting this procedure at every bridge and tunnel crossing into Manhattan for all driving into the city would be a great idea.

Posted by: Zombie Shep Smith, live from New Orleans! at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (29q5W)

19 12 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (45fpk)

It really can be... but they really only need a stool sample.

Posted by: DoublySymmetric (iPad) at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (XeEyo)

20 I'm....I'm happy to swab my anus if...if that's what you want, Nance.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (Geoni)

21 15 Q-Anon Tips?
Posted by: Miklos, just guessing


LOL

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (Zmnko)

22 It goes beyond just our leaders, Americans in general just seem to really not take issue with China no matter what they do.

For whatever reason, the rank and file knew the USSR was an evil empire during the Cold War, with China they just seem to care about their flat screens being $10 cheaper.

Good "Frontline" episode on how China hid Covid, of course it came after the election. Normally the show has a huge liberal bias, but thought it was fair on this topic. China is a far bigger menace than the USSR.

Posted by: Blago at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (gkdnV)

23 Buttegeig least affected.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (4+MtS)

24 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (45fpk)


Anything related to covid is a sick joke.

Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (46GDR)

25 "You don't have to be an Austrian psychoanalyst to understand the symbolism of their demand that everyone in the world bend over and spread 'em."


In Austria, they'll start calling this "putting a shrimp on the barbie." Or a "roo in the pouch."

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (oQ94s)

26 Oh jeesh. LOL. That Dr. Seuss Illustration!

Posted by: WisRich at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (G0vdT)

27 >The Japanese government has already raised concern about its citizens being subjected to the "undignified" procedure

Pretty funny, coming from the land of kancho.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (DXFDM)

28 Good.

We're getting closer to our own officials finally admitting that the main route of transmission is fecal-oral.

Remember the cruise ship?

Posted by: Lysenko - Be happy that you're being killed by a good man instead of being left alone by a bad man. at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (HBEnm)

29 12 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (45fpk)

Yes, and there is some evidence that suggests that Covid was spread more from people not washing their hands, and public toilets... than by breathing on each other.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (oHd/0)

30 EPA workers are leaving their samples in the hallways, for testing.

Posted by: Zombie Shep Smith, live from New Orleans! at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (29q5W)

31 Just the tip

Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (gmo/4)

32
I vote we mail stool samples direct to the Chinese Embassy.

A big hairy one after you've had an enchilada combo platter with curry. In a paper bag. On fire. Via trebuchet...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (s2VJv)

33 Swab it. Swab it good!

Posted by: DeVO at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (4I/2K)

34 The Japanese government has already raised concern about its citizens being subjected to the "undignified" procedure

-
Afraid they'll lose face?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (VVEnO)

35 Lana, just the tip

Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (gmo/4)

36 In Austria, they'll start calling this "putting a shrimp on the barbie." Or a "roo in the pouch."
Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (oQ94s)

Did... did you mean Australia, and not Austria?

Posted by: DoublySymmetric (iPad) at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (XeEyo)

37 Sample? No, have the whole thing.

Posted by: Zek at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (w/5KC)

38 President-Chairman Xi has decreed that all persons not Chyneez are to be further humiliated in a show of Chyneez Superiority.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - Psychos Rule! No, really. They're in charge now. at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (HaL55)

39 I had to look up the Cat in the Hat!

IYKWIM

Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (m45I2)

40 Covid is better detected in semen produced by deep prostatic massage with a blunt object.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (4+MtS)

41 Now, I'd be happy to answer any questio.....

Posted by: Sundown Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (29q5W)

42 do the airport have Grory Holesto make the test more fun ?

Posted by: McCool at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (BqBIh)

43 Super Jumbo Q Tips but soft makee you no say ouchee. Form line here, Yankee running dog.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (I58tH)

44 Ahoy Swabbies!

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (02wWr)

45 ace, admit it, you just did this thread so you could use the picture before the ONT got to it.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (BMmaB)

46 "Instead, they meekly took it up the ass, because they thought it would be "homophobic" to refuse to be sodomized."

Even money they kinda liked it.

Posted by: aelfheld at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (Zy9Yy)

47 Easiest way to solve this is make it reciprocal and for good measure post the video of each exam for the lose face value.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (ZN7T5)

48 It goes beyond just our leaders, Americans in general just seem to really not take issue with China no matter what they do.

For whatever reason, the rank and file knew the USSR was an evil empire during the Cold War, with China they just seem to care about their flat screens being $10 cheaper.

Posted by: Blago at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (gkdnV)

They'll call you rayciss, and nobody wants that.

So yeah, if Rooosha does it, it's those dirty commie bastages. If China does it... well lookie there. Isn't live action Mulan just wonderful?

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (oQ94s)

49 34 The Japanese government has already raised concern about its citizens being subjected to the "undignified" procedure
----
Afraid they'll lose face?
-----
The Japanese government understands the situation a lot more than the election thieves in the Capitol right now.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (W+kMI)

50 Stop going to China to do business with them. Shut them down. They need the rest of the world a LOT more than we need them.
Posted by: Romeo13 at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (oHd/0)
++++
Ultimately, yes. The first 18 months would be brutal and fatal in some areas. I think we'd be better off phasing it in, like weening an addict.

Start with a 25% across-the-board tariff on Red Chinese goods, along with EPA and tax exemptions for repatriating industry. Over the next four years, ramp up the tariffs to 200%. If it is truly worth making in China or can *only* be made in China, then that is worth paying. If it isn't or can't, then it isn't. This is not a magic bullet since much industry will just move to other countries, but it will deal with the China problem quite well and result in at least some repatriation and provide a roadmap for repeating the feat in the future should we need to do so. Economic warfare is better than hot warfare.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (Jsjd7)

51 hiya

Posted by: JT at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (arJlL)

52 Prostrate exams at LAX

Posted by: SMOD at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (7X3lL)

53 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?

Yes, it can. It was proposed at one point in this mess that the fecal-oral route was the primary means of COVID transmission, much like the Norwalk virus.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Serving all Americans, even the Neanderthals. at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (SchxB)

54 In Austria, they'll start calling this "putting a shrimp on the barbie." Or a "roo in the pouch."
Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (oQ94s)

Did... did you mean Australia, and not Austria?
Posted by: DoublySymmetric (iPad) at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (XeEyo)

Obvious examples of someone speaking Australian.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (BMmaB)

55 For Valley Forge:

https://tinyurl.com/2j3hwmyw


Where does he get those wonderful gifs?

Posted by: The Joker at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (PizZn)

56 Every country in the world should immediately recall all of their diplomats and Institute a travel ban on China. No one allowed to visit that repulsive shit hole and no visitors coming from said shit hole. All Chinese in any other country on work, student or diplomatic visa expelled.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 04, 2021 12:10 PM (Vxu+H)

57 47 Easiest way to solve this is make it reciprocal and for good measure post the video of each exam for the lose face value.
--------
I say we not only make it reciprocal, we hire a squad of Ohio large animal veterinarians to do it.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:10 PM (W+kMI)

58 I'm surprised how fast China has gone from "We didn't *make* them have the test that way" when it first came out, to "*Everybody* must get swabbed!"

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 04, 2021 12:10 PM (1lKRm)

59 In Austria, they'll start calling this "putting a shrimp on the barbie." Or a "roo in the pouch."
Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (oQ94s)

Did... did you mean Australia, and not Austria?
Posted by: DoublySymmetric (iPad) at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (XeEyo)

The what?

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:10 PM (oQ94s)

60 The CCP has sent foreign governments copies of 2 Girls 1 Cup as an instructional video for it's next round of testing.

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at March 04, 2021 12:10 PM (Geoni)

61 41 Now, I'd be happy to answer any questio.....
Posted by: Sundown Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:08 PM (29q5W)

We'll circle back to that, Joe...

Posted by: Jen Ptooii, White House Spokesweasel at March 04, 2021 12:10 PM (oHd/0)

62 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (45fpk)

Yes, it can. In fact it can be traced in waste water too.

Posted by: Eat The Eloi at March 04, 2021 12:10 PM (RGRIY)

63 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (45fpk)
++++
Embrace the power of "and."

But yeah, it is easily detectable in poop. The "fecal-oral" transmission route was an early finding, though I haven't seen anything recently that shows how much of transmission is fecal-oral versus other transmission routes.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:11 PM (Jsjd7)

64 You would have to be a government official to not understand what's going on here.

Posted by: MJ at March 04, 2021 12:11 PM (gAMkn)

65 Red China is the enemy of the civilized world.

Fuck them.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at March 04, 2021 12:11 PM (mEC7p)

66 I do not like where you put your hands.
I do not like it, Xiao Ping Xen.
I would not want that in my ass.
I could not need that, thanks, I'll pass.
I do not want your anal swab.
Hey, by the way, is that your job?

...and then something about, "Damn-Near Killed 'Em!", something-something.

Posted by: Slapweasel at March 04, 2021 12:11 PM (Ckg4U)

67 Yes, it can. It was proposed at one point in this mess that the
fecal-oral route was the primary means of COVID transmission, much like
the Norwalk virus.

Then we've been wearing our masks in all the wrong places.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:11 PM (45fpk)

68 China is a far bigger menace than the USSR.^^^THIS!^^^Chyna is a far bigger threat because they've bought our government over the past couple of decades. They have weaponized the love of money against us.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - Psychos Rule! No, really. They're in charge now. at March 04, 2021 12:12 PM (HaL55)

69 Bend ova, lound eye!

Posted by: CCP Official at March 04, 2021 12:12 PM (Geoni)

70
You know what's really funny?

We have no idea if china is INFECTING people with Whoknowswhat with their "anal swabs."

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:12 PM (iLERM)

71 Japanese travellers reported suffering 'psychological pain' from the invasive procedure.
........

any commit seppuku?

Posted by: wth at March 04, 2021 12:12 PM (v0R5T)

72 Up your butt, Jobu Buddha.

Posted by: Count de Monet in exile at his Fortress of Solitude at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (4I/2K)

73 50 Joe,
You are more or less following the Trump plan which was similar.

It is the multi national corporations and wealthy individuals with large shares of those corporations that want access to that China market and are willing to bend over and spread physically and metaphorically to play ball.

It is a return to kowtowing and payback for China's humiliation from the 1800's to the Communist takeover in 1949.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (pO7gM)

74 58 "*Everybody* must get swabbed!"

odd. I've always heard the lyrics as "everybody must get stoned". maybe i should go see my ear doctor.

Posted by: Comrade Anachronda, behind the Newsom curtain at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (v3pYe)

75 any commit seppuku?
Posted by: wth

swabuku

Posted by: Miklos-san at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (QzkSJ)

76 Chyna is a far bigger threat because they've bought our government over the past couple of decades. They have weaponized the love of money against us.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy - Psychos Rule! No, really. They're in charge now. at March 04, 2021 12:12 PM (HaL55)

Government is just the later comers to the party. There have been Republican "free marketeers" for decades, telling us if we just open up to China, we'll lick them commies good and hard.

Well here we are, all opened up for them.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (oQ94s)

77 Posted by: Slapweasel at March 04, 2021 12:11 PM (Ckg4U)

So, yer sayin Horton was NOT holding up a Dandelion in that iconic picture?

It was a Chinee Anal Swab?

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (oHd/0)

78
btw, why hasn't anyone asked if the nba players are exempt from the poop-chute swabbing?

Is Disney exempt?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (iLERM)

79
Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (r4bSV)

80 Incredibly, I keep hearing on the news the
imaginary militias planning an imaginary attack because of an
imaginary plot by Trump to seize power because of some distant inauguration tradition described as... conspiracy theorists!

That is
so insanely backward I have to say, I think they must be trying to humor
us.

Posted by: Ripley at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (MxEKc)

81 Japan is paying it's industry to move out of China.

It's a great idea.

Too bad SlowJoe has killed all the goodwill Trump raised in India.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (u82oZ)

82 78
btw, why hasn't anyone asked if the nba players are exempt from the poop-chute swabbing?

Is Disney exempt?
Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (iLERM)

==========

"Exempt? It was our idea!"
-Disney

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (LvTSG)

83 Stool sample?


I gave them my underwear.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (yQpMk)

84 "China Swabs Asshoe!"

Posted by: NeverBiden at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (0jZvB)

85 Yo!
........

Just got swabbed?

Posted by: wth at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (v0R5T)

86 Q tip futures up 42%.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * watching the value of my Dr. Suess collection skyrocket at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (ers1w)

87 But yeah, it is easily detectable in poop. The "fecal-oral" transmission route was an early finding, though I haven't seen anything recently that shows how much of transmission is fecal-oral versus other transmission routes.
Posted by: Joe Mannix


Could be why I haven't gotten sick. I don't eat ass.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (6J/xZ)

88 NBA players cheer new swabbing rules.

Posted by: AZ deplorable isolated at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (gtatv)

89 Chinese foreign relations have pretty much always focused on the maximum of both humiliation and capriciousness. I wonder if they consider the current rules more or less humiliating than the full kowtow. Some western governments gave into that one too.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (1lKRm)

90 China, here I cum and cum and cum and cum

Posted by: SHEP at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (6iURM)

91 Every country in the world should immediately recall all of their
diplomats and Institute a travel ban on China. No one allowed to visit
that repulsive shit hole and no visitors coming from said shit hole. All
Chinese in any other country on work, student or diplomatic visa
expelled.

In a sane world, this would've happened already. Also, Beijing would be a smoking glass crater that glows in the dark for unleashing a biological weapon upon us. But we don't live in a sane world. #WASTF

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - Psychos Rule! No, really. They're in charge now. at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (HaL55)

92 We have no idea if china is INFECTING people with Whoknowswhat with their "anal swabs."
Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales

* Furiously scribbles out patent on personal anal swaps for international travel *

Posted by: Beartooth at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (ZN7T5)

93 Bend ova, lound eye!
Posted by: CCP Official at March 04, 2021 12:12 PM (Geoni)

China official to Shemp Smith and Anderson Vanderbilt:

You been here fo owa, you go now!!

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (oQ94s)

94 For whatever reason, the rank and file knew the USSR was an evil empire during the Cold War, with China they just seem to care about their flat screens being $10 cheaper.

It'll be interesting to see the effect of the minimalist movement, if any.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (U7wke)

95 ... It is the multi national corporations and wealthy individuals with large shares of those corporations that want access to that China market and are willing to bend over and spread physically and metaphorically to play ball. ...
Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (pO7gM)
++++
Yes, of course they do. I don't think Trump went too far enough on China. We have three choices for Red China: subjugation, economic war or literal war. It might end in literal war anyway, but trying the non-kinetic options first is vital. Trump should have done more in my opinion, but he is the first president or official in my lifetime to do *anything* at all (and it was starting to show efficacy) to undo Nixon's tragic mistake.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (Jsjd7)

96 Is there extra anal pay?

Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (l5rNb)

97 errr , swaps = swabs

Posted by: Beartooth at March 04, 2021 12:15 PM (ZN7T5)

98
Swabs dipped in chinese aids.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (iLERM)

99 "Mandatory anal humiliation" is an anagram for "mount a hairy Dalmatian loin".

Posted by: hogmartin at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (t+qrx)

100 OK.... I don't want to hear any F'n SWABBY jokes!

Posted by: Romeo13, retired sailor at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (oHd/0)

101 And right there, 2021 beat anything 2020 had to offer.

Posted by: Dr. Mongo at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (IU8aO)

102 81 Japan is paying it's industry to move out of China.

It's a great idea.

Too bad SlowJoe has killed all the goodwill Trump raised in India.
-----
India will still welcome U.S. business. They like dollars. They just don't like U.S> politicians that grovel to China.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (W+kMI)

103 I dunno. If it's poop-transmitted, I would expect a lot more grade-schoolers would be infected. Nobody poops more and wipes less than a six year old boy.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (45fpk)

104 Doctor momma Jill? I gave the dog an anal swab test, but now my finger is stuck!

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (Geoni)

105 Yes, it can. It was proposed at one point in this mess that...
****
Then we've been wearing our masks in all the wrong places.
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:11 PM (45fpk)
****
I've said the entire time that this is the case. We are nasty as heck, and something like 11% of people (still, after the COVID silliness) wash their hands routinely using soap and water.
.
The spread on the cruise ship when the panic was first being promoted was our first clue. Then that disappeared and no one talked about it anymore. Remember it happened on the naval vessel, too? Those adults weren't sneezing on each other.
.
The mask nonsense was an op for the election, because 'wash your hands" doesn't terrify people and allow mail in ballots and rule changes outside of the legislative process.
.
Also if we had any scientific integrity: All I can figure is that it would be EXTREMELY awkward to have to discuss the disparate impact on minority communities.

Posted by: Lysenko - Be happy that you're being killed by a good man instead of being left alone by a bad man. at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (HBEnm)

106 Melamine Swabs, For ALL My Guests!

Posted by: Winnie Xi Pooh at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (0E6nC)

107 Me swab you long time, Joe

Posted by: CCP Swab Whores at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (gmo/4)

108 Has Don Lemon undergone an anal swab on national television to demonstrate how easy it is?

Posted by: Northern lurker at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM (lgiXo)

109 Arrr, Long John Weaver be telling me that all little boys like to have their poop deck swabbed.

Posted by: THE PIRATE Rick Wilson at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM (H5knJ)

110 China Owns Biden
Biden Owns USA
China Owns USA

Posted by: Kytten at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM (MTwZc)

111 Wasabi + swabs = Waswabbi

Posted by: Count de Monet in exile at his Fortress of Solitude at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM (4I/2K)

112 in their own special way, NYC bath houses have doing this for years

Posted by: REDACTED at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM (6iURM)

113 Backwards Boy,
Supposedly in the Chinese-Russian Amur river conflicts during Nixon's first term, the Russians came by with a proposition that if the US would stand by, the Soviets would nuke the Chinese to eliminate them as a problem.

The US adamantly refuse this feeler and then pivoted to China in Nixon's second term as part of triangulation to isolate the Soviets and their allies.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM (pO7gM)

114 Listen, if it's gay to refuse to suck a girl's dick it is certainly homophobic to refuse to be sodomized.

Posted by: motionview at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM (RKp8A)

115 We swab you for our, you go now.

Posted by: CCP Swab Whores at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (gmo/4)

116 Too bad SlowJoe has killed all the goodwill Trump raised in India.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (u82oZ)
++++
Like father, like son. Bush 43 wasn't a good president, but he was actually decent in some areas of foreign policy. He pivoted the primary focus from Europe to Asia and his "4x4" structure (US, Japan, Australia, India) as the new nucleus for US policy. That policy was imperfect, but it was an improvement and the mending of fences with India was well underway. That is important, because we likely *need* India as a hedge against China.

Obama shat all over that and went running back to Berlin, Paris and London. The Usurper's people are doing the same thing.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (Jsjd7)

117 You hea for for hour, Shep Smith. You leave now!

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (xfb67)

118 ...the anal swab could be substituted with a stool sample

NO PROBLEM!!

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (V4K2K)

119 I dunno. If it's poop-transmitted, I would expect a lot more grade-schoolers would be infected. Nobody poops more and wipes less than a six year old boy.
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (45fpk)

Come on Man!

Posted by: Joe Biden, All Poop, No Wipe at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (mEC7p)

120 I Need a Man with a Swab Hand - Pointer Sisters (2021)

Posted by: garrett at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (0E6nC)

121 Wasabi + swabs = Waswabbi
Posted by: Count de Monet in exile at his Fortress of Solitude at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM

I'm burning just imaging it.

Posted by: motionview at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (RKp8A)

122 Those who hated the USA for being global hegemon will come to regret assisting China's rise to power.

Posted by: Revenant at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (NJXJJ)

123 Sure, this SOUNDS super humiliating and unnecessary, but when you hear Thomas Freedman's cab driver explain it, it makes perfect sense.

Posted by: Wally at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (mKckz)

124 22 It goes beyond just our leaders, Americans in general just seem to really not take issue with China no matter what they do.

For whatever reason, the rank and file knew the USSR was an evil empire during the Cold War, with China they just seem to care about their flat screens being $10 cheaper.

Good "Frontline" episode on how China hid Covid, of course it came after the election. Normally the show has a huge liberal bias, but thought it was fair on this topic. China is a far bigger menace than the USSR.
Posted by: Blago at March 04, 2021 12:06 PM (gkdnV)

If your fellow American's lack any sort of critical thinking skills, thank a teacher!

Posted by: NEA at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (Ojki1)

125 This is why masks was a non-starter. Stop it before they decide where it stops.

Posted by: Slapweasel at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (Ckg4U)

126 Not since the fall of Saigon have we witnessed the pandemonium of today's insurrection.

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (Geoni)

127 Swab the poop-deck mateys!

Posted by: Pirate Shep at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (Vu7A1)

128 Stool sample? I'll leave it in the corner.

"The stool is against the wall. Repeat. The stool is against the wall."

Posted by: Oddbob at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (qc+VF)

129 Did the swabbing occur during Trump's admin or did it begin after 20 Jan?

Posted by: Moki at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (+X9Vs)

130 Count de Monet in exile at his Fortress of Solitude

Groan.

The Earth's revolution makes my day.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (u82oZ)

131 Personally I'd see not getting screwed and giving them shit as a step in the right direction, but that's just me.

Posted by: AdamPM at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (7seny)

132 Warsaw Convention, ace, but somebody's probably already pointed that out. Geneva's are for armed conflict.

But class, what is the *other* absurdity of this? Actually the main one. This absurd humiliation of travelers is obviously inexcusable, given the availability of other tests.

Testing travelers.

*Especially* in the country where the now long-prevalent virus originated. But the same logic applies everywhere. Travel restrictions, outside a very isolated location where there is reason to think the virus has not yet spread, DO NOT HELP. Just like all the other "interventions".

Posted by: rhomboid at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (OTzUX)

133 Swab whores, nothing but swab whores.

Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (gmo/4)

134 >>> 12 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:05 PM (45fpk)


This all being a sick joke is an overarching premise that is appropriate to apply in general to covid and many aspects of our modern lives.

Watch their unserious happy-faced destruction of society's hard won order and peace, hypocritical flaunting of their own rules and their obvious lies, coupled with an invasion of our private spaces.

With all these offenses the ruling class of the world are humiliating us in order to disarm our last bastions of emotional and spiritual defenses.

We are being delivered into slavery.

Posted by: banana Dream at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (OV00c)

135 28 Good.

We're getting closer to our own officials finally admitting that the main route of transmission is fecal-oral.

Remember the cruise ship?
Posted by: Lysenko - Be happy that you're being killed by a good man instead of being left alone by a bad man. at March 04, 2021 12:07 PM (HBEnm)

My bathhouse investigations shall continue!

Posted by: Fauchi at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (Ojki1)

136
Remember that old joke that goes "me go pee pee in your soup?"

This is china getting the last laugh for calling it the Kung Flu, etc., and daring to complain about unfair trade.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (iLERM)

137 Chy-na is doing something right, they have 4,636 dead from the Kovid Krud.

Anal Swabs for everyone!!

Posted by: Bruce at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (vd8XM)

138 Can COVID really be detected in fecal matter, or is this all a sick joke?

Yes, it can. It was proposed at one point in this mess that the fecal-oral route was the primary means of COVID transmission, much like the Norwalk virus.
Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Serving all Americans, even the

Hence the quick march through the nursing homes.

Posted by: Agitator at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (0H9xE)

139 I'm literally sitting in the dentist chair. Must not let doc dee this!

Posted by: Diogenes at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (knN6T)

140 Trump would have required visiting chicoms to take it up the ass, too.

Posted by: SamIam at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (oasF3)

141 I would very much like to visit China soon.

Posted by: Hope's Rolo at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (W4eKo)

142 Reciprocal?

"My anal swab protects you, and your anal swab protects me"

Posted by: radar at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (3Zp/H)

143 I would eat nothing but cabbage soup for 3 days prior to disembarking for China... and old swabby would get quite the surprise when he broke the seal.

Posted by: garrett at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (0E6nC)

144 I dunno. If it's poop-transmitted, I would expect a lot more grade-schoolers would be infected. Nobody poops more and wipes less than a six year old boy.
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:16 PM (45fpk)

Come on Man!
Posted by: Joe Biden
----------

Pfft.

Posted by: Jerry Nadler at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (WZ5i4)

145
If I could ask President Trump just one question it would be: What the hell were you thinking by swatting all these hornets nests and following through by Finishing Them?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (iLERM)

146 Send Tank Abrams. Makem' work for it.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (sWM8x)

147 Wasabi + swabs = Waswabbi
Posted by: Count de Monet in exile at his Fortress of Solitude at March 04, 2021 12:17 PM

I'm burning just imaging it.
Posted by: motionview at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM


And I'm damned sure not putting that on sushi.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (zExdh)

148 Hence the quick march through the nursing homes.

***

This guy gets it.

Lots of feces in bedpans, sheets, etc.

Those elderly people weren't closer than 6 feet and sneezing on each other.

Posted by: Lysenko - Be happy that you're being killed by a good man instead of being left alone by a bad man. at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (HBEnm)

149 Like father, like son. Bush 43 wasn't a good president, but he was actually decent in some areas of foreign policy. He pivoted the primary focus from Europe to Asia and his "4x4" structure (US, Japan, Australia, India) as the new nucleus for US policy. That policy was imperfect, but it was an improvement and the mending of fences with India was well underway. That is important, because we likely *need* India as a hedge against China.

Obama shat all over that and went running back to Berlin, Paris and London. The Usurper's people are doing the same thing.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (Jsjd7)


As much as I despised the Bush Crime Family, they showed highly atypical good sense in how they dealt with India and our relationship.

Posted by: Captain Hate Won't Forget Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (y7DUB)

150 Posted by: Jerry Nadler at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (WZ5i4)

We should send a delegation to China, led by Nadler.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (xfb67)

151 "There have been Republican "free marketeers" for decades, telling us
if we just open up to China, we'll lick them commies good and hard." Burt


and it was evident by the 90's that it was not working out as planned ... but Clintons sold/gave them our nuke tech ... let them walk out with hard drives full of secret tech, they called it "multi-polarity" and "leveling the playing field", so one nation did not become too dominant. (better to sell our secrets to china, let them become dominant)

Posted by: illiniwek at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (Cus5s)

152 The US adamantly refuse this feeler and then pivoted to China in Nixon's
second term as part of triangulation to isolate the Soviets and their
allies.


Moral weakness followed by political weakness got us where we are today. PDT had the strength to stand up to bullies on the international stage, which is why he was ousted in the coup. #NukeBeijingNow

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - Psychos Rule! No, really. They're in charge now. at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (HaL55)

153 {{{grammie winger}}}

Waved at Jordy Nelson's house for you today.

I trust you are well.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (u82oZ)

154 Trump would have required visiting chicoms to take it up the ass, too.
Posted by: SamIam at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (oasF3)


Luxurious anal swabs.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (jB/qS)

155 129 Did the swabbing occur during Trump's admin or did it begin after 20 Jan?
--------
It started after January 20, of course! The PRC wouldn't have done this against Trump, he would've given them another economic body blow for that sort of thing, and sold Taiwan a bunch of missiles. No, this is a measure to rub their so-called superiority in the faces of the American politicians they bought.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (W+kMI)

156 I wonder how many nursing home workers changed rubber gloves in between handling poop-stained sheets and clothes?

Posted by: Lysenko - Be happy that you're being killed by a good man instead of being left alone by a bad man. at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (HBEnm)

157 Come on Man!
Posted by: Joe Biden
----------
Pfft.
Posted by: Jerry Nadler at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (WZ5i4)
++++
In fairness, the reasons between you two are entirely different. Biden can't wipe because he's become incompetent due to his porridge brain filling with shrapnel. In your case, you can't reach well enough to wipe well because you're the size of a planet.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (Jsjd7)

158 Joe, that is not a Tootsie-Pop. Spit it out.

Posted by: DR. Jill at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (CTJwJ)

159 Looks like I'm going to be doing some on the scene reporting from China, if you know what I mean.

Posted by: Shep Smith at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (Ax5Cx)

160 I, for one, give a hearty SALUTE! to TJM's unstinting display of patriotism.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (GLv8N)

161 And you get an anal swab! And YOU get an anal swab, and YOOOOOUUUU get an anal swab!

Posted by: Oprah trying to crack into the Chinese market at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (Geoni)

162 I find this slightly amusing. I know a couple of people that brag about all the trips they have to take to China annually.

Posted by: Justsayin' at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (Fs5vw)

163 Posted by: Comrade Anachronda, behind the Newsom curtain at March 04, 2021 12:13 PM (v3pYe)

Lol, always nice to have it be noticed when I attempt to be clever.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (1lKRm)

164 Obama shat all over that and went running back to Berlin, Paris and London. The Usurper's people are doing the same thing.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (Jsjd7)

India had the misfortune of being enemies of Pock-e-stan. No question where Hussein's sympathies lay.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (BMmaB)

165 As much as I despised the Bush Crime Family, they showed highly atypical good sense in how they dealt with India and our relationship.
Posted by: Captain Hate Won't Forget Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (y7DUB)

Which is why they took over out Tech industry, and I get calls from their Sales folks about 5 times a day.

Posted by: Romeo13, retired sailor at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (oHd/0)

166 'They are swabbing people's Anuses in the Alamo Dome!'

Posted by: Shep Smith at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (0E6nC)

167 Salute the swab.

Posted by: Joe Biden's Earpiece at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (yQpMk)

168 The Conservative Case for Medical Ass-Spelunking in 3, 2, ...

Posted by: t-bird at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (CTJwJ)

169
The next step for china is them knocking out our satellites, and ordering the Pentagon to relocate Navy vessels.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (iLERM)

170 It's war outside, on Pennsylvania Avenue! WAR!

Posted by: Sundown Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (29q5W)

171 I'm okay with American government officials having their bungholes rudely violated


Posted by: DB- just DB at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (iTXRQ)

172 Pfft.
Posted by: Jerry Nadler at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (WZ5i4)


Anybody got a wet wipe?

Posted by: Also Jerry Nadler at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (Vu7A1)

173
This all being a sick joke is an overarching premise that is appropriate to apply in general to covid and many aspects of our modern lives.

Watch their unserious happy-faced destruction of society's hard won order and peace, hypocritical flaunting of their own rules and their obvious lies, coupled with an invasion of our private spaces.

With all these offenses the ruling class of the world are humiliating us in order to disarm our last bastions of emotional and spiritual defenses.

We are being delivered into slavery.
Posted by: banana Dream
-----------

Fact Check: True

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (bPH26)

174 I work with assho all day!
- CCP Ass Swabber

Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (gmo/4)

175 no eggroll ?

Posted by: REDACTED at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (6iURM)

176 Anal swabber has to be the worst job in the world.

(Dang, spellcheck wanted to change that to stabber.)

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (xfb67)

177 Prostrate exams at LAX

Trying to decide whether that was a typo or not....

Posted by: Oddbob at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (qc+VF)

178 Stool sample? I'll leave it in the corner.

"The stool is against the wall. Repeat. The stool is against the wall."
Posted by: Oddbob at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM


*whistles innocently*

Posted by: Who Flung Pu at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (zExdh)

179 We can have so much fun with this.

But reciprocity is the way to go. With a big swab and Bubba from the State Pen, with an big ... anger issue.

Make the ChiComs work for our secrets.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (u82oZ)

180 Waved at Jordy Nelson's house for you today.



I trust you are well.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (u82oZ)


Thank you! As for being well, at least I don't have a Chinese swab up my butt, so I've got that going for me.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (45fpk)

181 I will go and do a live report.

Posted by: Katy Couric at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (4I/2K)

182 And you guys were upset about the TSA. Just you wait...

Posted by: The Deep State at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (CTJwJ)

183 Moon river

You using your whole fist there, Chang?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (kTF2Z)

184 no eggroll ?
Posted by: REDACTED at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM


Only after your 6th swab.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (zExdh)

185 Comrade, how are you giving me the swab with your hands on both of my shoulders?

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (BMmaB)

186 I would like to meet some interesting Chinese swabbers.

Posted by: President-For-Life Barack Obama I at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (29q5W)

187 ...the anal swab could be substituted with a stool sample

NO PROBLEM!!
Posted by: Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:18 PM (V4K2K)
.......

hope those poor Chinese are wearing face shields

Posted by: wth at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (v0R5T)

188 The Conservative Case for Medical Ass-Spelunking in 3, 2, ...
Posted by: t-bird at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (CTJwJ)

We published that article years ago.

Posted by: Cuckshed Conservatives at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (Ax5Cx)

189 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (Zz0t1)

190 If this helps, just remember, every NBA player, every Hollowood exec or star, every craven businessman who comes back from Chi Nah, you'll know. You know they were anal raped over there, and if they come back here to the states, all smiles... you know their not-so-secret shame.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (oQ94s)

191 The next step for china is them knocking out our satellites, and ordering the Pentagon to relocate Navy vessels.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (iLERM)
++++
It's almost like defense of and expansion in near-space is pretty important. Maybe the US armed forces should focus on it. In fact, it might be so important that maybe we should have a service dedicated to it...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (Jsjd7)

192 sniffybigtoe

Stabber is worse. Ouch.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (u82oZ)

193 The Japanese government understands the situation a lot more than the election thieves in the Capitol right now.
Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:09 PM (W+kMI)

Japan realizes that a China that is free to gobble up territory is an issue when they are neighbors. Add in China still has a grudge over Japan's actions in the 30s and 40s and that they can't get a bunch of national guardsmen and build a fence around their islands and hope fear of Japan's government investigators will keep China out.

Posted by: Bete at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (Ojki1)

194 "no eggroll ?"
-Posted by: REDACTED at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (6iURM)

Not with #2.

Posted by: Slapweasel at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (Ckg4U)

195 It started after January 20, of course! The PRC wouldn't have done this against Trump, he would've given them another economic body blow for that sort of thing, and sold Taiwan a bunch of missiles. No, this is a measure to rub their so-called superiority in the faces of the American politicians they bought.
Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (W+kMI)

I ask because the dips who said they were afraid of being considered homophobic very likely had a memo about it from the State Department telling them as much. They were required to submit to the testing by higher ups or be accused of homophobia, and thus suffer in their career.

I am so glad I am retired.

Posted by: Moki at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (+X9Vs)

196 Stool sample? Like, on your desk?

Posted by: t-bird at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (CTJwJ)

197 172 Pfft.
Posted by: Jerry Nadler at March 04, 2021 12:21 PM (WZ5i4)

Anybody got a wet wipe?
Posted by: Also Jerry Nadler
------

At least I used my drawers...

Posted by: Al Roker at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (bPH26)

198 Good thing I'm never going to China. I'll be arrested for decking the fucker violating my anus against my will.

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (Zz0t1)

199 181 I will go and do a live report.
Posted by: Katy Couric at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (4I/2K)

Shep Smith is already on his way...

Posted by: Romeo13, retired sailor at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (oHd/0)

200 Anal swabber has to be the worst job in the world.

(Dang, spellcheck wanted to change that to stabber.)
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2021 12:24 PM (xfb67)


Official CCP anal stabber: lousy job, great HQ nickname.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (t+qrx)

201 Posted by: Ripley at March 04, 2021 12:14 PM (MxEKc)

It's especially backwards because the only places there is any "chatter" about this are leftist sites. The thing is even more a figment of their imagination than the horrific armed attack they're positive happened.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (1lKRm)

202 I keep imaging how this would work as an episode of Monk.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (45fpk)

203 Read the Ace recommended book "Last Stand" before you decide on being delivered into slavery.

Posted by: Only Context at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (sUMfc)

204 Confucius say; anal penetration is ancient Chinese secret.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (03n3v)

205 1. The obvious counter is reciprocity. That would end it quick

2. From my understanding, they don't even bother with the actual labwork, since like everything else in China the lab tests are very inaccurate.

3. If anything, the test is used to create DNA database of foreigners to find vulnerabilities.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (LWu6U)

206 Grammie Winger,

Children have a much better immune system than adults and it is much more adaptive to new threats as a survival mechanism. Under 12 years old deaths and serious illness (even showing symptoms for example) are virtually non-existent outside of those with very high risk factors like no immune system, etc.
Even up to 18-19, deaths or serious illness are non-existent for Covid absent those very high risk factors and symptoms of infection are mild if present.

Starting at 19, you can trace the risk rate increase with each decade of life (but also risk factors and their severity track the same line). That is why shutting down k-12 education was stupid--the staff is at risk from contaminating each other but fairly easy to consolidate that. The idea was that youngsters would be asymptomatic spreaders to family units via student to student transmission which is still not proven.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (pO7gM)

207
"So, what do you do for a living, Hop Sing?"
"Oh, I work at the airport, shoving Q-tips up Round-eye's ass."

Posted by: DB- just DB at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (iTXRQ)

208 grammie winger

Uh... TMI?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (u82oZ)

209
Ploctologist?



Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (iLERM)

210 You're homophobic if you don't take it in the ass?

So be it.

Badge of honor.

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (Zz0t1)

211 As a possible compromise Lu Hongzhou, a Shanghai-based doctor, told China's state media that the anal swab could be substituted with a stool sample.

China shit my pants?!?

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (H5knJ)

212 China needs to get hit with a mile wide asteroid.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (Ce9Kh)

213 This picture is just crying out for the moron treatment:

http://bitly.ws/bZLK

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (sWM8x)

214 They are green swabbing people.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (l5rNb)

215 160 I, for one, give a hearty SALUTE! to TJM's unstinting display of patriotism.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (GLv8N)

============

*hand over heart, single manly tear streaking down cheek, as the Star Spangled Banner plays*

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (LvTSG)

216 Thank you! As for being well, at least I don't have a Chinese swab up my butt, so I've got that going for me.
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM


May I suggest a comforting mug of The Horde's favorite soup?

Posted by: Thorvald at March 04, 2021 12:27 PM (DMUuz)

217 Does the swap test come with a reach-around? Asking for a friend...

Posted by: Cory Booker at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (V4K2K)

218 Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest

We can do that as well.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (u82oZ)

219 If this helps, just remember, every NBA player, every Hollowood exec or star, every craven businessman who comes back from Chi Nah, you'll know. You know they were anal raped over there, and if they come back here to the states, all smiles... you know their not-so-secret shame.
Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (oQ94s)

The shame is part of the kink.

Posted by: Count de Monet in exile at his Fortress of Solitude at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (4I/2K)

220 Mulan II: Mulan Exterminates the Uighurs

Jungle Book 2: Shere Khan Killed to Make Tiger Penis medicine

Winnie the Pooh: Xi gives Winnie an Anal Swab

Posted by: Disney movie ideas to crack Chinese market at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (Geoni)

221 Ha Ha, Trump, I read your book, you magnificent bastard.

Posted by: Xi Xi at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (zk16/)

222 Is there any doubt a WaPo columnist would have called refusing an anal swab homophobic?

Posted by: Brother Northernlurker just another guy at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (lgiXo)

223 I was wondering what happened to the Anal Otter.

Posted by: motionview at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (RKp8A)

224
The worst part is that you just know that chinese swabs are really, really cheaply made and mostly a wooden stick with a few whisps of cotton on the end.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (iLERM)

225


I am quite confident Trump wouldn't allow this...

But instead, we have Joe Biden who has some have said, many have hinted at, possibly sodomized many young boys.



Posted by: Senator Rev. Dr. E Buzz Miller, Lesbian at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (NuVOb)

226 My job requires a personal trip to China. I shall make that trip. Only in that way could I learn how best to serve the American people in the cause of peace. I shall go to China....

Posted by: Pete Bootedgeedge,Sodomite at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (mEC7p)

227 224
The worst part is that you just know that chinese swabs are really, really cheaply made and mostly a wooden stick with a few whisps of cotton on the end.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (iLERM)

Melamine and asbestos.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (xfb67)

228 SPONGE!!!

Posted by: Ladyl, Insurrectionist at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (TdMsT)

229 213 This picture is just crying out for the moron treatment:

http://bitly.ws/bZLK
--------
I think the pic speaks for itself.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (W+kMI)

230 Looking forward to my new ASSignment to the Bejing Desk.

Posted by: Shep! at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (vD+8F)

231 Which is why they took over out Tech industry, and I get calls from their Sales folks about 5 times a day.
Posted by: Romeo13, retired sailor at March 04, 2021 12:23 PM (oHd/0)


Yes and no. Our gas chamber approved robber barons are mainly to blame for that. My son in law, now a citizen, is from India and he readily admits that the best programmers in terms of innovative solutions (and he's very good with multiple patents) are from the US.

Posted by: Captain Hate Won't Forget Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (y7DUB)

232 and it was evident by the 90's that it was not working out as planned ... but Clintons sold/gave them our nuke tech ... let them walk out with hard drives full of secret tech, they called it "multi-polarity" and "leveling the playing field", so one nation did not become too dominant. (better to sell our secrets to china, let them become dominant)

Posted by: illiniwek at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (Cus5s)

Speaking of the 90s, I remember way back then, there were people warning us that our military planes and other high tech equipment had China parts all up and down the damn things. So that literally, the planes wouldn't fly without those China parts.

We didn't manufacture them anymore, and some of this was the very VERY high tech parts. Not like wing material or tires.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (oQ94s)

233 Children have a much better immune system than adults and it is much
more adaptive to new threats as a survival mechanism. Under 12 years
old deaths and serious illness (even showing symptoms for example) are
virtually non-existent


whig - which is why teachers in my school district built a mock graveyard in front of their headquarters, highlighting the death-trap that in-person classrooms would be. Unbelievable. Heroes.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (45fpk)

234 BREAKING: US Capitol is under siege by thousands of invisible Qanons

Posted by: Bastard Biden at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (3aI0K)

235 226 My job requires a personal trip to China. I shall make that trip. Only in that way could I learn how best to serve the American people in the cause of peace. I shall go to China....
Posted by: Pete Bootedgeedge,Sodomite at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (mEC7p)

I shall join you.

Posted by: Dr. Anthony Fauci, Ace Detective at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (RKp8A)

236
Come on.
Nothing for "ploctologist?"
Nothing at all?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (iLERM)

237 Instead of swabbing, couldn't they just pluck a few dingleberries?

Posted by: Diesel Jones at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (Vu7A1)

238 >Does the swap test come with a reach-around? Asking for a friend...
Posted by: Cory Booker


No! You get coupon for one free scoop! No personal check!

Posted by: DB- just DB at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (iTXRQ)

239 Susan likes me to swab her every evening, before her young visitor arrives, so I do.

Posted by: Cap'n Cuck Kristol at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (29q5W)

240 Shep Smith is already on his way...
----------
You been here 3 houra, go home now!

Posted by: BunkerintheBurbs at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (oJZyY)

241 213 This picture is just crying out for the moron treatment:



http://bitly.ws/bZLK

--------

I think the pic speaks for itself.

NO TONGUES!

Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (gmo/4)

242 This picture is just crying out for the moron treatment:

http://bitly.ws/bZLK
--------
I think the pic speaks for itself.
Posted by: exdem13

Superspreader!

Posted by: Joe Mama at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (vD+8F)

243 Official CCP anal stabber: lousy job, great HQ nickname.
Posted by: hogmartin at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (t+qrx)
------
Think I'll stick with "Laird o' the Seas". At least for now.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (GLv8N)

244 Do they use an old fashioned wood hockey stick or graphite?

Posted by: Brother Northernlurker just another guy at March 04, 2021 12:31 PM (lgiXo)

245 I swabbed Amelican and I riked it.

Posted by: Ling-Ling Perry at March 04, 2021 12:31 PM (sWM8x)

246 Good thing I'm never going to China. I'll be arrested for decking the fucker violating my anus against my will.
Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:26 PM (Zz0t1)

When I was a teenager, I had to get a complete physical for military service at the PHS hospital. The doctor who did it was a middle aged woman. When we got to the prostate check part, I had never done that before and had no idea what was coming (I thought she was going to tell me to turn my head and cough and just had an unusual technique for the hernia check). When the finger went in, I turned and yelled "Woo, bitch, whatchoo doing?"

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:31 PM (BMmaB)

247 Winnie the Pooh: Xi gives Winnie an Anal Swab
Posted by: Disney movie ideas to crack Chinese market at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (Geoni)

That's the best day....

Posted by: Winnie the Poop, Silly ole silly gay bear at March 04, 2021 12:31 PM (oHd/0)

248 223 I was wondering what happened to the Anal Otter.

anal otter was apparently otter fang fang all along.

Posted by: Comrade Anachronda, behind the Newsom curtain at March 04, 2021 12:31 PM (sGtp+)

249 1. The obvious counter is reciprocity. That would end it quick



I'll wrap some cotton around a Louisville Slugger.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2021 12:31 PM (6J/xZ)

250 Melamine and asbestos.

And affixed with a cancer-causing adhesive.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - Psychos Rule! No, really. They're in charge now. at March 04, 2021 12:31 PM (HaL55)

251 The worst part is that you just know that chinese swabs are really, really cheaply made and mostly a wooden stick with a few whisps of cotton on the end.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (iLERM)

Melamine and asbestos.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2021 12:29 PM (xfb67)


Remember that anal swab outside Shenyang, they built it without rebar in the concrete so they could pocket the difference? Killed 800 people when it collapsed.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (t+qrx)

252 Send Tank Abrams. Makem' work for it.

I lurfed bigly.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (W4eKo)

253 the anal swab is representative of the blessings of liberty.

Posted by: The Rev. Colonel David French at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (29q5W)

254 If you look at the reverse side of the swab it has suggested Lotto numbers.

Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (m45I2)

255 Get all those nooks and crannies, comrade!

Posted by: Shep at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (4I/2K)

256 And I'm singing this song to you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QsdiOdvrvg

Posted by: Xi Xi at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (zk16/)

257 Anyone making a Chinese anal swab joke is racist and homophobic and immediately cancelled.

Posted by: The Disney Gay Mafia at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (RKp8A)

258 We published that article years ago.
Posted by: Cuckshed Conservatives at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM


A companion piece to your legendary "Bull in a China Shop" account?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (DMUuz)

259 If you look at the reverse side of the swab it has suggested Lotto numbers.
Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (m45I2)

lol

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Logan Tiberius Edwards (2012-2021) at March 04, 2021 12:32 PM (ifmtJ)

260 I approve.

Posted by: Ben Dover at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (vD+8F)

261 So now we know why Vegetable Joe didn't mention Dr. Seuss. It wasn't the veiled racism of the Yinks. Lordy knows Veggie Joe has no issues with racism anyway. He was waiting for the Chy-na approved version.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (BRpqW)

262 @246: "When the finger went in, I turned and yelled "Woo, bitch, whatchoo doing?""

Easier to ask forgiveness than permission, y'know.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (+WWsf)

263 How do they get the stool sample? Mine was gathered by a latex-gloved physician's hand! Having colitis is tough on one's dignity.

Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (z6yGz)

264 239 Susan likes me to swab her every evening, before her young visitor arrives, so I do.
Posted by: Cap'n Cuck Kristol at March 04, 2021 12:30 PM (29q5W)

The Paulo, he needs to make a call and break an appointment.

Posted by: The Paulo. at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (oHd/0)

265 Essentially, you have to consent to a DNA swab to enter China.

There have been a number of stories about China creating a yuuuge DNA db of Americans (and likely others). What are they doing with this -- especially if it is for diplomats, CEOs, etc.?With the anal swab, are they also to determine info about, say, what medications people are on (because that would be part of one's digestion)??

Posted by: Lizzy at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (bDqIh)

266 Come on.

Nothing for "ploctologist?"

Nothing at all?


Shouldn't that have been "ploctorogist?"

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - Psychos Rule! No, really. They're in charge now. at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (HaL55)

267 216 May I suggest a comforting mug of The Horde's favorite soup?

the vodka you can eat with a fork?

Posted by: Comrade Anachronda, behind the Newsom curtain at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (sGtp+)

268 me chinese
me play joke
me put finger
in your hole

Posted by: x4 at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (oA+QO)

269 Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:25 PM (oQ94s)

The shame is part of the kink.
Posted by: Count de Monet in exile at his Fortress of Solitude at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (4I/2K)

Perhaps so, but it is well documented that in the "black community" homophobia is alive and well.

I'd like to see at NBA games, someone holding up a sign as soon as Leebron is walking up toward the basket, just two words: "China Swab."

Go ahead, Leebron. Dunk it. But we know you been dunked on.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (oQ94s)

270 I was wondering what happened to the Anal Otter.
Posted by: motionview at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM


*rubs little hands together*

Our plans for world domination are on schedule!

Posted by: The Otters at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (zExdh)

271 When they peer into the depths of my starfish

I'll be there

Posted by: Ass Warts at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (GsajJ)

272 223 I was wondering what happened to the Anal Otter.
Posted by: motionview at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM (RKp8A)

-----

"I can't believe they're actually PAYING me to do this now!"

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (dfRN6)

273 So do the Chinks give you a rim job after the swabbing?

Posted by: Culmo at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (Px4PF)

274 Dang! Now I'm regretting turning down the ambassadorship to China.

Sure, they wouldn't recognize my husband, but on the other hand... free anal.

Posted by: Mayor Pete ButtJizz at March 04, 2021 12:34 PM (QE98t)

275 Is this the pitch meeting for "Xiao Bi Den, Border Guard"?

Posted by: Gay Pornhub at March 04, 2021 12:34 PM (29q5W)

276 There have been a number of stories about China creating a yuuuge DNA db of Americans (and likely others). What are they doing with this -- especially if it is for diplomats, CEOs, etc.?


Tailoring the bioweapons.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:34 PM (yQpMk)

277

Stool sample? I'll leave it in the corner.

"The stool is against the wall. Repeat. The stool is against the wall."
Posted by: Oddbob



I'm perfectly happy to throw my turds right at the Chinese authorities.

Posted by: imp at March 04, 2021 12:34 PM (SFOr6)

278 The doing the swabbing is the famous Ho Lee Fuk.

Posted by: Brother Northernlurker just another guy at March 04, 2021 12:34 PM (lgiXo)

279 Caesar North of the Rubicon

Was "In San Francisco we are legally married." taken?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:35 PM (u82oZ)

280 The worst part is that you just know that chinese swabs are really, really cheaply made and mostly a wooden stick with a few whisps of cotton on the end.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales


Cotton fowah VIP onry!!

Posted by: CCP swab technician #8346 at March 04, 2021 12:35 PM (P1f+c)

281 News Flash!
Everyone entering Confucius Institutes will now be required to undergo rapid anal swabbing.
(no information on number of rapid anal swabs are known at this time.)

Posted by: AZ deplorable isolated at March 04, 2021 12:35 PM (gtatv)

282 I am quite confident Trump wouldn't allow this...

Yeah but MEAN TWEETS!!

Posted by: Captain Hate Won't Forget Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:35 PM (y7DUB)

283 So if this Covid thing is really transmitted a whole nuther way than we've been told - if it's really spread by icky touches - than what does that mean? We've wasted a year of our lives and businesses and education? When we could have just used soap and water and been done with it? And who will tell Karen to take off her three masks?

Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (45fpk)

284 >>Instead, they meekly took it up the ass, because they thought it would be "homophobic" to refuse to be sodomized.

It's not sodomy if you like it!

Posted by: Joey Biden at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (FEAjO)

285 Trump said pussy.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (yQpMk)

286 Trump said pussy!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (kTF2Z)

287 154 Trump would have required visiting chicoms to take it up the ass, too.
Posted by: SamIam at March 04, 2021 12:20 PM (oasF3)

Luxurious anal swabs.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 04, 2021 12:22 PM (jB/qS)

I believe that I've got the proper sized swab for the job, somewhere in the studio.

Posted by: Chris Cuomo at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (hKTv8)

288 Proposed slang for anal swab: bum brush

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Serving all Americans, even the Neanderthals. at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (SchxB)

289 280 The worst part is that you just know that chinese swabs are really, really cheaply made and mostly a wooden stick with a few whisps of cotton on the end.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales

Cotton fowah VIP onry!!
Posted by: CCP swab technician #8346 at March 04, 2021 12:35 PM (P1f+c)

they need to buy the New I Pillow Swab! Yes, made with the finest Egyptian Cotton!

Posted by: Mike Lindellll at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (oHd/0)

290 Come on.
Nothing for "ploctologist?"
Nothing at all?
Posted by: Soothsayer's
-----------

Best pun today, I think.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (GBHAb)

291 218 Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest

We can do that as well.
Posted by: NaCly Dog


That's what I meant by reciprocity.

I think the best counter is the Breaking Bad move - (the dude in the wheelchair, I forget his name.) have US airlines give everyone food that causes bad gas and loose stool.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (LWu6U)

292
I suppose now the corrupt fbi is planning on bombing a chinese restaurant and blaming us for it.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (iLERM)

293 Stool sample?
Will the skid mark in my shorts work for you?

Posted by: Paladin at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (KX5Wh)

294 Coming soon to a client state of China near you.

Posted by: ShainS at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (WqPYg)

295 anyone who goes to China today deserves this, so doesn't bother me a bit.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (trdmm)

296 me chinese
me play joke
me [strike]put[/strike] use finger
[strike]in your hole[/strike] to give a poke

Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (z6yGz)

297 152, I would not disagree.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (pO7gM)

298 And who will tell Karen to take off her three masks?
Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (45fpk)

----------------------

Oh no, the CDC will recommend 4 masks PLUS a buttplug if it's spread fecally.

Posted by: radar at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (3Zp/H)

299 damn

Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (z6yGz)

300
Trump said pussy.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (yQpMk)

286 Trump said pussy!
Posted by: Duke Lowell


Look everyone, it's the Bobsy Twins!

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (iLERM)

301 YOU BEEN HEAH FO HOWA! YOU GO NOW!

Posted by: Swabmaster Shin to Rachel Levine at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (sWM8x)

302 Giza swabs!

Posted by: Mike Lindell at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (jB/qS)

303 So when does CA start doing this?

Posted by: Culmo at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (Px4PF)

304 285 Trump said pussy.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (yQpMk)

286 Trump said pussy!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (kTF2Z)

/waves his hand...

Horde mind! activate!

Posted by: Mike Lindellll at March 04, 2021 12:38 PM (oHd/0)

305 Plepare brown eye, round-eye!

Posted by: Insomniac - Zhou Bai-Den Is Not My Chairman at March 04, 2021 12:38 PM (nakwk)

306 285 Trump said pussy.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (yQpMk)

286 Trump said pussy!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (kTF2Z)
==================
You are all so mean!!

Posted by: Winemoms of 'Merica at March 04, 2021 12:38 PM (29q5W)

307 299 damn
Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 12:37 PM (z6yGz)

-----

Well at least it was a dud. You coulda been on your way to the Barrel right now.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at March 04, 2021 12:38 PM (dfRN6)

308 Trump said pussy.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (yQpMk)

286 Trump said pussy!
Posted by: Duke Lowell

We like pussy.

Posted by: Insomniac - Zhou Bai-Den Is Not My Chairman at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (nakwk)

309 In the name of public health, I shall insure the cabin boys are properly tested before setting foot ashore!

Posted by: Captain Ned at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (zExdh)

310 We've replaced these people's coffee with Chinese anal swabs. Let's see if they notice!

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (Geoni)

311 >>>The worst part is that you just know that chinese swabs are really,
really cheaply made and mostly a wooden stick with a few whisps of
cotton on the end.<
>A bamboo sliver in your anus is small price to pay for the sake of international diplomacy.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (03n3v)

312 Chinese swab tech: "Wow. I don't see how you could be any less white..."

Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (m45I2)

313 I was wondering what happened to the Anal Otter.
Posted by: motionview at March 04, 2021 12:28 PM

*rubs little hands together*

Our plans for world domination are on schedule!
Posted by: The Otters at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (zExdh)


https://stoatnet.org/soon.jpg

Posted by: hogmartin at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (t+qrx)

314 We need to up our presence in China. Send more bureaucrats! But only the Leftists.

Maybe they will have an eye opened. And the anal tattoos are great for blackmail.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (u82oZ)

315 Time for some NBA games in China

Posted by: 496 at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (U1eOr)

316 One can imagine a Chinese swab brand, 'Barking Spider Swabs'

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (GBHAb)

317 To test foreigners for tonsilitis the Chinese have developed a novel method of examining the deepest part of the throat.....unfortunately there is only one guy in China capable of administering the test. Happy Wu, they call him.

Posted by: motionview at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (RKp8A)

318 Beretta A300 12 GA Outlander Bottomland Shotgun; $769; https://bit.ly/3be7tHG

Posted by: bonhomme at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (UW2ZS)

319 >>> When we got to the prostate check part, I had never done that before and had no idea what was coming (I thought she was going to tell me to turn my head and cough and just had an unusual technique for the hernia check). When the finger went in, I turned and yelled "Woo, bitch, whatchoo doing?"
Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:31 PM (BMmaB)

Teens shouldn't need prostate exams. I think it must of been her way of being friendly?

When I worked at UPS the Dr. they had guys go to for workers comp. claims (who reminded me of Jack Elam) always wanted to try the ol' check for hernias bit. Nah bro, the problem is the compound fracture of my finger, you know with the bone visible, and blood shooting out? Not so much my crotch area.

Posted by: banana Dream at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (OV00c)

320 There have been a number of stories about China creating a yuuuge DNA db of Americans (and likely others). What are they doing with this -- especially if it is for diplomats, CEOs, etc.?With the anal swab, are they also to determine info about, say, what medications people are on (because that would be part of one's digestion)??
Posted by: Lizzy at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (bDqIh)

Imagine being a xenophobic, incredibly racist superpower, in possession of genetic information that can be used in labs where you are experimenting with manufactured viruses... if such a lab existed.

If you could make a virus that will infect the dirty filthy round-eyes, but be reasonably safe for your own population... would you work on such a thing?

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (oQ94s)

321 That was the ambassadorship I wanted!

Posted by: Pete Buttplug at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (z6yGz)

322
btw, remember a couple of years ago US State department employees were complaining about a strange ringing in the ears (or something like that)?

And we were old it was nothing, and not only was it nothing, but it was definitely not china doing the nothing.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (iLERM)

323 Trump said pussy.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (yQpMk)

286 Trump said pussy!
Posted by: Duke Lowell

We like pussy.
Posted by: Insomniac - Zhou Bai-Den Is Not My Chairman at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM


He's not wrong, you know.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (zExdh)

324 Trump said pussy!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (kOpft)

325 In the spirit of reciprocity, visiting Chinese nationals will perform an anal swab on a randomly chosen American on arrival to the US.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at March 04, 2021 12:40 PM (4+MtS)

326 Resisting government anal swabbing is surely white supremacy, no?

Posted by: Walter Freeman at March 04, 2021 12:40 PM (+WWsf)

327 So the "alternative" would mean that to get into China you just have to give a shi-

Maybe we just need to give everyone traveling there a service animal. Some kind of monkey. With no diaper.

Posted by: Sam at March 04, 2021 12:40 PM (ohyxL)

328 Who the hell is BOB?

Posted by: Swabmaster Shin at March 04, 2021 12:40 PM (sWM8x)

329 There is another explanation. China's been taken over by aliens. We all know how they are about anal probing.

Posted by: Insomniac - Zhou Bai-Den Is Not My Chairman at March 04, 2021 12:40 PM (nakwk)

330 China like asshoe

Posted by: janus at March 04, 2021 12:40 PM (R8qG9)

331 Dont be obtuse
Just take the abuse
Bend over, do not refuse
Me stick it in your caboose

Posted by: Dr Xuess at March 04, 2021 12:40 PM (GbUDJ)

332 Cat Ass Trophy

OK. It's the Biden Administration. I'd allow it.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:41 PM (u82oZ)

333
Follow The Yuan

would make a good bumper sticker

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:41 PM (iLERM)

334 Basically China's foreign policy at this point is that they are the alpha in a prison yard and everyone else has to toss their salad for cigarettes.

Posted by: Josh Brolin's Blistered Taint at March 04, 2021 12:41 PM (aHV5Y)

335 Trump said pussy.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (yQpMk)

286 Trump said pussy!
Posted by: Duke Lowell

We like pussy.
Posted by: Insomniac - Zhou Bai-Den Is Not My Chairman at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (nakwk)

*cues up Cat Scratch Fever*

Posted by: Count de Monet in exile at his Fortress of Solitude at March 04, 2021 12:41 PM (4I/2K)

336 Trump said "Pussy". Biden actually grabbed a woman by the pussy because Joe Biden is a do-er.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at March 04, 2021 12:41 PM (4+MtS)

337 I suppose now the corrupt fbi is planning on bombing a chinese restaurant and blaming us for it.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (iLERM)

Ya' know...that would not surprise me.

Posted by: BignJames at March 04, 2021 12:41 PM (AwYPR)

338
Look for Buttgiggity to make a PSA in which he extolls how "healthy and refreshing" the swabbing process is.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (FDDEY)

339 "Nixon's tragic mistake"

Which one?
Getting US out of Vietnam before the country disintegrated.
Or stopping the Soviet "China did it" nuke us game before they tried again?

Posted by: DaveA at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (FhXTo)

340 I think the best counter is the Breaking Bad move - (the dude in the wheelchair, I forget his name.) have US airlines give everyone food that causes bad gas and loose stool.
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (LWu6U)


That would be artificially sweetened chocolate ice cream.

Posted by: Justsayin' at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (Fs5vw)

341 >>btw, remember a couple of years ago US State department employees were complaining about a strange ringing in the ears (or something like that)?



That was in Cuba.
Was it ever explained?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (bDqIh)

342 I saw Anal Stabbers open for Spandau Ballet at the St Lucia Jazz Festival in '87.

It's like i don't even know you people anymore.

Posted by: goatexchange at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (bDyGY)

343 https://stoatnet.org/soon.jpg
Posted by: hogmartin at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM


Ha!

If nurse doesn't have that on her computer already, she needs to.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (zExdh)

344 Who the hell would allow this to be done to them?? Besides democrats.

Posted by: Jewells45 at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (nxdel)

345 Lean over table and grab rail.
I be gentle.

Posted by: Icky Tochez at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (zk16/)

346 PolitenessMan would NOT put up with this shit.

His stainless steel hanky would be cutting through the air with a vengeance, heading straight for the head ChiCom's noggin.

You do remember PolitenessMan, do you not? From the Golden Age of Comics (the 1970s):

https://www.flickr.com/photos/alberto1138/50360557

Posted by: Sharkman at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (i4CI5)

347 Last night there was one vendor - LG Outdoor - with small pistol primers.

1K brick. Four hundred fifty smackeroos. $450. Yes.

But - no anal swab!

Posted by: rhomboid at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (OTzUX)

348 I'd like to see at NBA games, someone holding up a sign as soon as Leebron is walking up toward the basket, just two words: "China Swab."

Go ahead, Leebron. Dunk it. But we know you been dunked on.
Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:33 PM (oQ94s)

Magic Johnson had no comment.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (BMmaB)

349 Shit just got real

Posted by: Disembarking traveler in Shanghai at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (29q5W)

350 I sure hope the people who are being harassed by the FBI agents are getting their names and taking their pictures. It's important we know the faces and names (though likely fake) of the Gestapo.

Posted by: Spiff The Spaceman at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (lfSFb)

351 I feel sorry for the person having to administer the anal surprise to folks that have been sitting in an airplane for hours and hours. What a shitty job.

Posted by: dingbat at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (vV0YQ)

352 Well, they'll swab you when you're walking on the street
They'll swab you when you're tryin' to keep your seat
They'll swab you when you're walkin' on the floor
They'll swab you when you're walkin' to the door
But I would not feel so China bobbed
Everybody must get swabbed

Posted by: Grapefruit LaCroix at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (hTDvT)

353 315 Time for some NBA games in China
Posted by: 496 at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (U1eOr)

=========

I was hoping for another major Hollywood production that spent tens of millions of dollars shoehorning China into the story awkwardly so it could save the day, only for the movie to bomb horribly in China.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (LvTSG)

354 Coming soon to a client state of China near you.
Posted by: ShainS at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (WqPYg)

Guess who's been buying up ports all over the world.

In fact, between Bill Gates and China, I'm not sure there's any farmland left in the U.S. of A. that isn't owned by one or the other. Or both.

Imagine there's no countries. It's easy if you try.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (oQ94s)

355 233, 283 grammie winger.
Yes, even early on, it was apparent that fecal transmission was a major contributor as it is for other viruses like Norwalk viruses aboard cruise ships. People not washing their hands and even the act of flushing a toilet with feces that is contaminated can aerosol quite a bit of virus into the atmosphere surrounding the toilet.

Most of our covid strategy is akin to the security theater around airport travel, useless, expensive, and designed to provide graft to favorite interest groups and politicians.

If you simply shot all politicians when a large societal crisis came up, I would imagine a far cheaper and better solution to most policy crises would then occur.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (pO7gM)

356 Look for Buttgiggity to make a PSA in which he extolls how "healthy and refreshing" the swabbing process is.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (FDDEY)

Just like a douche.

Posted by: BignJames at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (AwYPR)

357 banana Dream a

The services, but especially the Navy, have an inordinate interest in the state of your prostate.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (u82oZ)

358
That was in Cuba.
Was it ever explained?
Posted by: Lizzy


I do not believe so.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (iLERM)

359 Yeah, guess what--that ain't my swab either, Gomer.

Posted by: Just the Punch Line at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (sWM8x)

360 341 That was in Cuba.
Was it ever explained?
Posted by: Lizzy at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (bDqIh)

=========

Capitalist disease.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (LvTSG)

361
I thought it was in another place in addition to Cuba.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (iLERM)

362 Just keister a supply of swabs to make things go faster.

Posted by: Milky Gluted at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (GsajJ)

363 Has the attack started yet? This is so exiting

Posted by: Stinky Wizzleteats at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (Bpc14)

364 Which one?
Getting US out of Vietnam before the country disintegrated.
Or stopping the Soviet "China did it" nuke us game before they tried again?
Posted by: DaveA at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (FhXTo)
++++
Opening relations with Red China was a mistake. Hindsight is 20/20 and the Soviets were getting very uppity, but in retrospect it was a mistake.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (Jsjd7)

365 There is a stickIn my uptick. - Dr. Suess.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (r+sAi)

366 Or the not destroying the FBI before they teamed with the GOPe to coup him?

Posted by: DaveA at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (FhXTo)

367 Main stem anal walue.
CCP swabbing coolie

Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (gmo/4)

368 it's based on the new video game Anus, Please

Posted by: x4 at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (oA+QO)

369 There's a rocket in my prison pocket.

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 12:45 PM (KnJdm)

370 I wonder if Nancy Pelosi invested heavily in giant butt-swabs last month or something...

Posted by: Grapefruit LaCroix at March 04, 2021 12:45 PM (hTDvT)

371 When I worked at UPS the Dr. they had guys go to for workers comp. claims (who reminded me of Jack Elam) always wanted to try the ol' check for hernias bit. Nah bro, the problem is the compound fracture of my finger, you know with the bone visible, and blood shooting out? Not so much my crotch area.
Posted by: banana Dream at March 04, 2021 12:39 PM (OV00c)
-----
Doctor: Could you slide your shorts down, Mr. Lebowski, please?

The Dude: Naw, man, she hit me here indicating his jaw[/].

Doctor: Yes. Could you slide your shorts down, please?

Cue "Lookin' Out My Back Door"

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 04, 2021 12:45 PM (GLv8N)

372 Has the attack started yet? This is so exiting
Posted by: Stinky Wizzleteats at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (Bpc14)

#TrustTheScam

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Logan Tiberius Edwards (2012-2021) at March 04, 2021 12:45 PM (ifmtJ)

373 Me Chinese. Me play artifice. Me put Q-Tip in your starfish.

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 12:45 PM (KnJdm)

374 320, BurtTC, that was the exact plotline of 6th Column by Robert A. Heinlein except the Americans used that to reconquer their own country from the foreign Asiatic menace (combo generic hybrid Asians from what I remember).

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:45 PM (pO7gM)

375
Old & Busted: Peking. Duck.

New & Trending: Beijing! Bend over!

Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (m45I2)

376 What the people should be worried about by the swab is what they chi-coms are infecting them with.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (r+sAi)

377 I'll just go see The Great Wall from space, thanks.

Posted by: Little Boomer at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (De+J6)

378 If you can smell that fart you are inhaling coronavirus.

Nice

Posted by: torabora at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (GsajJ)

379 I'm too old for this shit!

Posted by: Murtaugh bent over being given an anal swab from Chang at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (Geoni)

380 Me swab you long time.

Posted by: XiXi at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (KnJdm)

381 That was in Cuba.
Was it ever explained?
Posted by: Lizzy at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (bDqIh)

I think it was another CIA op to blame russia for something and have the media screech that Trump wasn't nuking Moscow because he is putin's butt buddy.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (4+MtS)

382 General Tso is rolling in his grave.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (vuisn)

383 If you simply shot all politicians when a large societal crisis came up, I would imagine a far cheaper and better solution to most policy crises would then occur.
Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (pO7gM)

*perks up*

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Logan Tiberius Edwards (2012-2021) at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (ifmtJ)

384 The services, but especially the Navy, have an inordinate interest in the state of your prostate.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:43 PM (u82oZ)

Interesting... the ONLY time I had a Prostate check from the Navy, was the day before I retired.

But that was quite a few years ago.

Posted by: Mike Lindellll at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (oHd/0)

385 Send Jerry Nadler to take one for the team. One look at his giant festering ass would have the Chinese rethinking the policy.

Posted by: Brother Northernlurker just another guy at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (lgiXo)

386 358
That was in Cuba.
Was it ever explained?
Posted by: Lizzy

I do not believe so.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate

The problem is, it was state department employees, so you could never be sure it wasn't hysteria or malingering. State workers tend to be hysterical women looking for excuse to collect disability,..

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (LWu6U)

387
Anyone remember the image we had of the chinese tourist when we were kids?

They all had Cameras!
Snapping photos of Everything.

Gee, that was great.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (iLERM)

388
have US airlines give everyone food that causes bad gas and loose stool.
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest


One-third pound of Haribo sugar-free gummi bears for each passenger comin' right up!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (FDDEY)

389 344 Who the hell would allow this to be done to them?? Besides democrats.
Posted by: Jewells45 at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (nxdel)
---------

Think this was Tim Cook's idea?



Posted by: Braenyard, Patriot dog starving the beast at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (zk16/)

390 Odd. In actuality, China should be begging the entire flipping world for forgiveness for unleashing this virus onto unsuspecting countries...when they knew they were doing it intentionally. Instead, they choose to attempt world humiliation for their own horrific actions. Unbelievable.

Posted by: Lady in Black at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (O+I8R)

391 377 I'll just go see The Great Wall from space, thanks.
Posted by: Little Boomer at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (De+J6)

=========

Not a very good movie. You can skip it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (LvTSG)

392 Old & Busted: Peking. Duck.

New & Trending Spreading: Beijing! Bend over!

Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (m45I2)

mo' better?

Posted by: BignJames at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (AwYPR)

393 Yeah, guess what--that ain't my swab either, Gomer.
Posted by: Just the Punch Line at March 04, 2021 12:44 PM (sWM8x)

I remember the joke as Gomer telling Lou Ann "Surprise, surprise, surprise! That ain't my finger neither!"

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (BMmaB)

394 The Art of Swab
- Anal Tzu

Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (gmo/4)

395 381 I think it was another CIA op to blame russia for something and have the media screech that Trump wasn't nuking Moscow because he is putin's butt buddy.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (4+MtS)

===========

Also known as every news story since 2017.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (LvTSG)

396 Using white q-tips is sign of white supremacy!

Posted by: Dr Xuess at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (GbUDJ)

397 Posted by: grammie winger at March 04, 2021 12:36 PM (45fpk)

I have no desire to talk to her at all. Let her suffocate under her three masks. I will call 911 on her behalf.

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (J6dnG)

398 Ace was worried about taking a vacation?

We just did 400 comments on buttholes in less than 45 minutes.

That should put his mind at ease.

Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (m45I2)

399
What's the joke about the doctor using his wang as a thermometer?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (iLERM)

400 The problem with the china swab is that you have to do it again 2 hours later.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (r+sAi)

401 I vote Bi den visit Chi nah.

Posted by: torabora at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (GsajJ)

402 Posted by: Mike Lindellll at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (oHd/0)

Wow... off sock..

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (oHd/0)

403 The Art of Swab
- Anal Tzu
Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM


Where the Sun Tzu Don't Shine.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (zExdh)

404 Every night is Anal Night in Commie China!

Posted by: Grapefruit LaCroix at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (hTDvT)

405 Or stopping the Soviet "China did it" nuke us game before they tried again?
Posted by: DaveA at March 04, 2021 12:42 PM (FhXTo)

My favorite would be price controls. WTF was wrong with republicans, (don't answer that).

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (LWu6U)

406 Opening relations with Red China was a mistake. Hindsight is 20/20 and the Soviets were getting very uppity, but in retrospect it was a mistake.

How so? I feel the mistake was granting China MFN(Thanks George) status, and then allowing them veto power in the UN.

Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (z6yGz)

407 When swabbing, do the Chinese play any music to make western tavellers more comfortable? Something like Whitesnake's "Slide it in"?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Serving all Americans, even the Neanderthals. at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (SchxB)

408 Me swab you long time.

Posted by: XiXi



Fled winnah!

Posted by: Sharkman at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (i4CI5)

409 398 Ace was worried about taking a vacation?

We just did 400 comments on buttholes in less than 45 minutes.

That should put his mind at ease.
Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (m45I2)

=========

It's not like we could do that taking this issue that seriously, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (LvTSG)

410 Hope ace will apply his scorn talents to the non-attack in DC today.

Every day/week offers even more ridiculous and implausibly stupid actions and statements by public officials and institutions, there seems to be no limit.

Oh, meanwhile - Tom Cotton is trying to hold up the preposterous Garland nomination, because he won't answer basic questions. I dunno, I find this troubling. I think Cotton should be focusing full-time on his brilliant scheme (along with Romney) to make hiring illegal aliens illegal in yet another way, linked to an idiotic increase in minimum wage.

Posted by: rhomboid at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (OTzUX)

411 ... They all had Cameras!
Snapping photos of Everything. ...
Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (iLERM)
+++++
Reminds me of a joke.

AG: Mr. President, we have a developing situation. I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?
President: Give me the bad news first.
AG: Terrorists have taken 1,000 Japanese tourists hostage in Times Square.
President: What? That's terrible. What is possibly *good* news about this?
AG: We have a million pictures of them.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (Jsjd7)

412 Can you smell that?

*sniiiffff No. I don't smell anything.

Good, I am not spreading Covid

-minutes later- *rrrrrrrrrrrtttttt

Smell that?

*sniiiff. Ack! Gag!

Uh, oh. You just got Covid!

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (4+MtS)

413 Kung Pao.....Swab

Posted by: torabora at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (GsajJ)

414 Anyone remember the image we had of the chinese tourist when we were kids?

They all had Cameras!
Snapping photos of Everything.

==

I actually attribute that more to the Japanese. Maybe I've been wrong all this time!

Posted by: Lady in Black at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (O+I8R)

415 Anyone remember the image we had of the chinese tourist when we were kids?

They all had Cameras!
Snapping photos of Everything.

Gee, that was great.
Posted by: Soothsayer's


I thought those were Japs?
I didn't think the commies let their people out.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (6J/xZ)

416 Goodness me, it must be industrial disease.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (63Dwl)

417 The Art of Swab
- Anal Tzu


Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (gmo/4)

The Ass of War- Bun Tzu

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (KnJdm)

418 396 Using white q-tips is sign of white supremacy!
Posted by: Dr Xuess at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (GbUDJ)

But, when it done, tis less White.

So its a GOOD thing...

Posted by: Coke, have an Anal Probe, and a Smile at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (oHd/0)

419 The problem is, it was state department employees, so you could never be sure it wasn't hysteria or malingering. State workers tend to be hysterical women looking for excuse to collect disability,..
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (LWu6U)


Except for any State Department 'ettes, who are in point of fact none of those things.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (t+qrx)

420 =========

It's not like we could do that taking this issue that seriously, though.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (LvTSG)


Wait.....This is a SERIOUS blog?

Shit......

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (Zz0t1)

421 Old & Busted: Peking. Duck.

New & Trending: Beijing! Bend over!
Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (m45I2)

I ain't gonna duck, I'm no chicken.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (oQ94s)

422 Kung Pao.....Swab

Posted by: torabora at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (GsajJ)

George likes his swabbing spicy!

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (KnJdm)

423 What's the joke about the doctor using his wang as a thermometer?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales



"Hey, doc! What's with your hands on both my shoulders?!?!"

-- Just The Punchline, Vol 3, P. 27, China Post Press (2021)

Posted by: Sharkman at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (i4CI5)

424 RedMindBlueState

War! -Andrew Breitbart

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (u82oZ)

425 Moo Goo Ass Pan

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (Zz0t1)

426 No attack on the Capitol just means we scared the racists off with increased military presence. We'll need to keep Washington on lockdown for another 6 months just to be safe.

Posted by: The FBI at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (xqRaG)

427 420 =========

It's not like we could do that taking this issue that seriously, though.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (LvTSG)

Wait.....This is a SERIOUS blog?

Shit......
Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (Zz0t1)

========

Someone needs to spend more time on the gardening thread.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (LvTSG)

428 Biden said we're not taking it up the squeakhole from China.

Even as China puts it in his demented ass.

Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (VpIIl)

429 How so? I feel the mistake was granting China MFN(Thanks George) status, and then allowing them veto power in the UN.
Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (z6yGz)
++++
Authoritarian communist regimes should never be given access to domestic markets or foreign investment funded by the United States. It was a mistake. That this mistake was compounded later through admission to the WTO, MFN status, failure to protect intellectual or real property and more makes it far worse, of course.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (Jsjd7)

430 have US airlines give everyone food that causes bad gas and loose stool.
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest

One-third pound of Haribo sugar-free gummi bears for each passenger comin' right up!
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (FDDEY)


Indian food.

Posted by: Mike Lindell at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (jB/qS)

431
Was it the Japs with the cameras?

Cameras and big teeth?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (iLERM)

432 ========

Someone needs to spend more time on the gardening thread.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (LvTSG)


I don't fit in....

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (Zz0t1)

433 I actually attribute cameras more to the Japanese. Maybe I've been wrong all this time!
Posted by: Lady in Black at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM


Wang! It's a parking lot!

Posted by: Al Czervik at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (awtm/)

434 Has anyone in the media asked Jen Psaki if she will take it in the ass when she visits China?

Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (VpIIl)

435 We just did 400 comments on buttholes in less than 45 minutes.

That should put his mind at ease.
Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (m45I2)

And no one's even brought up Gabe yet.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (BMmaB)

436 Send in the TrigglyPuff division, and this shit will end yesterday.

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (KnJdm)

437 The acme of generalship is not to beat a thousand enemies in a thousand battles - the acme of generalship is to infect your enemy with a virulent disease and then force them to take it up the ass to come crawling back to you.

Posted by: The New Sun Tzu at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (RKp8A)

438 HR 1 passes in the House on party lines.
#VoteHarderBitches in effect

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Logan Tiberius Edwards (2012-2021) at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (ifmtJ)

439 The Art of Swab
- Anal Tzu
Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM

Where the Sun Tzu Don't Shine.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (zExdh)



hey-oh!

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (yQpMk)

440 Ace was worried about taking a vacation?

We just did 400 comments on buttholes in less than 45 minutes.

That should put his mind at ease.
Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (m45I2)

Yeah, but I think about 92 of those comments were variations on the "Fo owa, you go now" joke.

And that's not even including the Amy Shumer/Carlos Mencea variation.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (oQ94s)

441 Wha'do we get for $10?

Anal Swabs.....

Anal Swabs?

Anallll Swwaaabbsss.....

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (Zz0t1)

442
One Fish
Two Fish
Red Fish
Hey Get That Swab Out Of My Ass

Posted by: DB- just DB at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (iTXRQ)

443 Hold on. Is the media willfully taking it in the ass from China?

Are there pictures?

Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (VpIIl)

444 *Especially* in the country where the now long-prevalent virus originated. But the same logic applies everywhere. Travel restrictions, outside a very isolated location where there is reason to think the virus has not yet spread, DO NOT HELP. Just like all the other "interventions".
Posted by: rhomboid at March 04, 2021 12:19 PM (OTzUX)

Sorry, but international travel restrictions do help. Having a functional southern border would also help.

Posted by: WhyBanned at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (YkawN)

445 Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (Zz0t1)


I think I will pass on that particular cuisine.

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (J6dnG)

446 421 Old & Busted: Peking. Duck.

New & Trending: Beijing! Bend over!
Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:46 PM (m45I2)

I ain't gonna duck, I'm no chicken.
Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (oQ94s)

Duck season...

Anal season???

Posted by: Bugs Bunny looks horrified at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (oHd/0)

447 You can take you used swabs and disinfect them by leaving them on your dashboard of your car for UV to kill virus.

Recycle your swabs to save the planet ...for the chiidren

Posted by: torabora at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (GsajJ)

448 Different cultural norms, peons.

Posted by: JAS, AoSHQ addict at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (2BZBZ)

449 The Art of Swab
- Anal Tzu
Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM

Where the Sun Tzu Don't Shine.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:48 PM (zExdh)


hey-oh!
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM


We'll be here all week. Tip the veal. Try your waitress.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (zExdh)

450 Green Eggs and Swab

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (Zz0t1)

451 One of these days Alice,
Pow, right in the keister!
- Chinese Honeymooner

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (r+sAi)

452 Horton Leaves a Poo

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (Zz0t1)

453 Yeah, but I think about 92 of those comments were variations on the "Fo owa, you go now" joke.



And that's not even including the Amy Shumer/Carlos Mencea variation.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:52 PM (oQ94s)

The problem with Chinese anal swabbing is that an hour later, you're hungry for more.

Posted by: Shep! at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (KnJdm)

454 Oh the asses I've seen on Mulberry Street

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (Zmnko)

455 Has anyone counted the # of jokes about the deputy HHS secretary? Has anyone counted the # of Pete BootyGig jokes?

Posted by: They write themselves, in the Bai-Din Administration at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (fUm2i)

456 Horton Leaves a Poo
Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (Zz0t1)
++++
Roll it up. I think we're done here.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (Jsjd7)

457 Take it in the ass or no soup for you!

Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (VpIIl)

458 No attack on the Capitol just means we scared the racists off with increased military presence. We'll need to keep Washington on lockdown for another 6 months just to be safe.
Posted by: The FBI at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (xqRaG)

I'm hearing now one agent went home with a tummy ache, so obviously white supremacists.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (oQ94s)

459 To put westerners more at ease, Chinese officials said will have Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Ooh, That Smell" played on repeat in the anal swabbing office.

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (Geoni)

460 Shep is begging for a special assignment to China.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (4+MtS)

461 434 Has anyone in the media asked Jen Psaki if she will take it in the ass when she visits China?
Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (VpIIl)

She'll circle back to that...

again.... and again...

Posted by: Romeo13, former Inebriated Nautical Professional at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (oHd/0)

462 The 500 Centimeters of Bartholomew's Colon

Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (m45I2)

463 Cat Shits In A Hat

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (J6dnG)

464 One fish
Two fish
Red fish
Poo fish

Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:55 PM (VpIIl)

465 LOL on the Seuss picture!!

How long before the angry little lying gnome Fauci suggests this for the US? Speaking of the gnome, he has come out and proclaimed that TX and MS opening up and not mandating masks, etc. is INEXPLICABLE !!!!!

Posted by: Cheri at March 04, 2021 12:55 PM (oiNtH)

466 Where's my buffalo helmet, Lindsey?

Posted by: Mittens Rombley at March 04, 2021 12:55 PM (W4eKo)

467
Lest we forget, China is a country where powdered rhinoceros horn is widely viewed as a potency enhancement for their tiny-dicked males.

SCIENCE to the SCIENCE power!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 04, 2021 12:55 PM (FDDEY)

468 Star Trek episode, proposed: Kirk, McCoy and Spock beam down to a planet where the natives look like giant swabs.

Posted by: Brother Northernlurker just another guy at March 04, 2021 12:55 PM (lgiXo)

469 No attack on the Capitol just means we scared the racists off with
increased military presence. We'll need to keep Washington on lockdown
for another 6 months just to be safe.

Posted by: The FBI at March 04, 2021 12:50 PM (xqRaG)


FBI called off their FBI informants, then declared a victory against their FBI informants.

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 12:55 PM (KnJdm)

470 re cameras.

I was in tech in the 80s, and all chinese expats who visited china were interrogated and converted to "consultants" for the homeland.

This was an active and organized program, and they had to cooperate or their families in China would suffer. They did not need tourists with cameras, they have had hundreds of thousands of spys implanted in every organization in the West for decades.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (LWu6U)

471 One-third pound of Haribo sugar-free gummi bears for each passenger comin' right up!
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (FDDEY)

Indian food.
Posted by: Mike Lindell

Both, then when they were swabbed there would be a total purge reaction.


Posted by: AZ deplorable isolated at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (gtatv)

472 Star Trek episode, proposed: Kirk, McCoy and Spock beam down to a planet where the natives look like giant swabs.
Posted by: Brother Northernlurker just another guy at March 04, 2021 12:55 PM (lgiXo)
------
Don't ask about how Crewman Number Six gets offed...

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (GLv8N)

473
Speaking of Star Wars, I see gay sulu has again said something stupid.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Untrue But Accurate Tales at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (iLERM)

474 Authoritarian communist regimes should never be given access to domestic markets or foreign investment funded by the United States. It was a mistake. That this mistake was compounded later through admission to the WTO, MFN status, failure to protect intellectual or real property and more makes it far worse, of course.

Sorry, I thought that MFN status was the policy that granted them access to domestic market or foreign investment funded by the US. Thanks for the clarification

Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (z6yGz)

475 429 Joe and others,

You can blame the trans national corporations for the Bush-Clinton China delusions.

All corporate America saw was $ for their goodies among 1 billion people and cheap labor to build their products. They did not and do not give a damn because the people that run them do so for the corporate and personal short term interests. Major stockholders are the same--they maximize returns in the short run while ignoring the long term.

In short, the TNC's did the US just as they have been doing third world countries or even our allies for years. Cheap labor, expanded markets, and cheaper raw materials, in order to produce more profits for their managers and shareholders.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (pO7gM)

476 Know your enemy; know yourself, and you may be victorious. Meekly take the anal swab, and you are dead man walking.

Posted by: The New Sun Tzu at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (RKp8A)

477 Century Arms WASR-10 V2 7.62x39 AK-47 Rifle - Poly Stock - 16"; $950; https://bit.ly/38cljbz

Posted by: bonhomme at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (UW2ZS)

478 Horton Leaves a Poo

Posted by: Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt at March 04, 2021 12:53 PM (Zz0t1)

++++

Roll it up. I think we're done here.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:54 PM (Jsjd7)

We've only just begun to crack wise about our butt-stabbing Chinese overlords.

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (KnJdm)

479 If I Swabbed the Poo

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (Geoni)

480 Star Trek episode, proposed: Kirk, McCoy and Spock beam down to a planet where the natives look like giant swabs.

***

Unh un! No way!

Posted by: Red Shirt guy at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (m45I2)

481 Navy has always had a thing for swabbies.

Smearing the germs around with a dirty mopbucket. Nasty

So i got a gallon of betadine from the pecker checkers and boy...the deck had vapor trails coming off it. A solid splash of betadine kills lots of virus.

Posted by: torabora at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (GsajJ)

482 Posted by: lussie kanye at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (IXLjX)

You DICK!!!!

Posted by: Jeff Spicoli at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (Zz0t1)

483 464 One fish
Two fish
Red fish
Poo fish
Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:55 PM (VpIIl)


One fish
Two fish
Chocolate starfish...

So close, dude.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (s2VJv)

484 Stool? Anal penetration? We sure this is about China and not San Francisco?

Posted by: Tasty Burger at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (Qhr7+)

485
I thought those were Japs?
I didn't think the commies let their people out.
Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (6J/xZ)


The big joke in Vegas was, What do you get any Japanese for birthday present?

A cheap camera and a pair of dice.

Posted by: Justsayin' at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (Fs5vw)

486 General McArthur was right!

Posted by: azjaeger at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (3/XaG)

487 The Chinese are out fwends.

- Slo Biden

Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (VpIIl)

488 Posted by: lussie kanye at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM

Umm...can we stick with spam about lace wigs?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (zExdh)

489 Well, as we all know, the indignity of a mean tweet is far worse than the indignity of an anal swab.

Posted by: US Diplomats at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (2SdPm)

490 Oh, boy. Looks like Diseases for Sale has checked in.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (W4eKo)

491 480 If I Swabbed the Poo
Posted by: Landofskybluewater at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (Geoni)


I saw Foo Fighters open for Poo Swabbers at the Tacoma Dome in '95.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (s2VJv)

492 434 Has anyone in the media asked Jen Psaki if she will take it in the ass when she visits China?
Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (VpIIl)
------------------------

Not necessary

Posted by: Braenyard, Patriot dog starving the beast at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (zk16/)

493 Don't take DRASHAOSEMUDIAMEN if you're allergic to DRASHAOSEMUDIAMEN.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (sWM8x)

494 Don't ask about how Crewman Number Six gets offed...

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea



For once, the Red Shirts are safe, and it's the Brown Shirts what get it in the neck, err, ass.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (i4CI5)

495 Ooooh! Anal swabs.

Posted by: President Boyfriend at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (KnJdm)

496 DO NOT HELP. Just like all the other "interventions".
Posted by: rhomboid

In China, this was all mostly an attempt to blame continuing problems on foreigners. They had a massive campaign to claim that China had eradicated it and all new cases were from foreigners.

But the swab thing is just about humiliation.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (LWu6U)

497 If the Chi-Coms really want to rub this in, they should give their anal swab test an official, "science-y" name with the English acronym "BOHICA".

Posted by: Thrawn at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (9Ovst)

498 China does butt stuff

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (YboWf)

499 Anal swabs good! Chinese people love anal swabs for foreigners, so the Party provides what the people demand. It's just common sense.

Posted by: Jackie Chan at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (RKp8A)

500 429 How so? I feel the mistake was granting China MFN(Thanks George) status, and then allowing them veto power in the UN.
Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 12:49 PM (z6yGz)
++++
Authoritarian communist regimes should never be given access to domestic markets or foreign investment funded by the United States. It was a mistake. That this mistake was compounded later through admission to the WTO, MFN status, failure to protect intellectual or real property and more makes it far worse, of course.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 04, 2021 12:51 PM (Jsjd7)

Yep, MFN was Bush 41. WTO was Bush 43.

Posted by: WhyBanned at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (YkawN)

501 So our children give access. The best trained society ever.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (l5rNb)

502 Has anyone in the media asked Jen Psaki if she will take it in the ass when she visits China?
Posted by: Marcus T


We'll circle around to that.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (6J/xZ)

503 Ride 'em swabbie.

Posted by: Shao lin Swab Master at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (GsajJ)

504 481 Star Trek episode, proposed: Kirk, McCoy and Spock beam down to a planet where the natives look like giant swabs.

***

Unh un! No way!
Posted by: Red Shirt guy at March 04, 2021 12:57 PM (m45I2)


Well, they already had the Horta and the giant steaming turd with claws that created Lincoln and Surak.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (s2VJv)

505 Okay kids. I'm off. Have fun not storming the castle!

Posted by: Muldoon at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (m45I2)

506

Chinese rectum swab gave me herpes!!!!

Chinese herpes at that!!!

Posted by: imp at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (SFOr6)

507 Don't take DRASHAOSEMUDIAMEN if you're allergic to DRASHAOSEMUDIAMEN.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM (sWM8x)



Side effects include drowsiness, restless leg, confusion, homicidal rage, and dry mouth.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (yQpMk)

508 Swab lo mein

Posted by: Archer at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (gmo/4)

509 I'm working on my really bad chinese character getup from a 1940's film to walk right thru customs. They'll never spot me.

Posted by: Cringe Biscuit at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (ZNZjb)

510 I'm really not sure what to think about this whole anal swab business until David French or Jonah Goldberg weigh in.

One those THOT leaders get with their twitter hot take, only then will I know the proper position to take.

Posted by: blake - Dr semi lurker in marginal standing at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (2SdPm)

511 Don't take DRASHAOSEMUDIAMEN if you're allergic to DRASHAOSEMUDIAMEN.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 04, 2021 12:58 PM


Do not taunt Happy Fun DRASHAOSEMUDIAMEN.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (zExdh)

512 You are a great American, TheJamesMadison.
Thank you.

Posted by: butch at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (cHvOo)

513 MFN was Bush 41. WTO was Bush 43.

Two gifts that just keep on giving.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (W4eKo)

514 I am not educated enough to comment on Chinese anal swabs. But everywhere I look I see white supremacists.

Posted by: Your typical NBA rocket scientist at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (RKp8A)

515 The swabs also double as stir fry implements.

Try the lo mein, it's pungent!

Posted by: Marcus T, Unforgiven at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (VpIIl)

516 509 I'm working on my really bad chinese character getup from a 1940's film to walk right thru customs. They'll never spot me.
Posted by: Cringe Biscuit at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (ZNZjb)


Imitate Hop Sing after tranny surgery so you look like the Ancient Chinese Secret Calgon girl with the pig tails.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (s2VJv)

517 Side effects include drowsiness, restless leg, confusion, homicidal rage, and dry mouth.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (yQpMk)
------------

Funny, those are the same symptoms I get when listening to MSM.

Oh wait, not quite the same, as I see elevated BP is not listed.

Posted by: blake - Dr semi lurker in marginal standing at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (2SdPm)

518 495 Don't ask about how Crewman Number Six gets offed...
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea

For once, the Red Shirts are safe, and it's the Brown Shirts what get it in the neck, err, ass.
Posted by: Sharkman at March 04, 2021 12:59 PM (i4CI5)

And Mr. Sulu volunteered for the away Team. He NEVER goes on Away Teams!

Posted by: Mr. Kyle at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (oHd/0)

519 I gotta go.

Who wants to post the next pro-national unity gif in the next thread?

For the Battle of the Saintes!

https://tinyurl.com/ypfz7at9

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (LvTSG)

520 I swabbed the white man but I did not swab the Jap you see.

Posted by: Xi Xi at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (zk16/)

521 Now we know why Governor Party Tits probably asked his bro for that swab!

Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (z6yGz)

522 I swabbed the sherrif but I did not swab the deputy.
Chinese reggae song

Posted by: Brother Northernlurker just another guy at March 04, 2021 01:02 PM (lgiXo)

523 Do not taunt Happy Fun DRASHAOSEMUDIAMEN.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (zExdh)

Great. I just DDG'd that, and now I am going to be getting ads for herpes treatments. FML.

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 01:02 PM (KnJdm)

524 "Chinese Anal Humiliation" was Frank Zappa's worst album.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at March 04, 2021 01:02 PM (jOcSX)

525 never mind

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, paying for my sins on the Scorsese streets at March 04, 2021 01:02 PM (LvTSG)

526 Ok ok . It's coming to me . a porny flick. Behind The Big Swab.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 04, 2021 01:02 PM (l5rNb)

527 On Beyond Xibra

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 04, 2021 01:02 PM (63Dwl)

528 >>>Take it in the ass or no soup for you!<
>Does that soup come with a fortune cookie?

Posted by: Dr. Bone at March 04, 2021 01:02 PM (03n3v)

529 Side effects include drowsiness, restless leg, confusion, homicidal rage, and dry mouth.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 04, 2021 01:00 PM (yQpMk)
---------
I think Biden must be on it.

Posted by: zmdavid at March 04, 2021 01:03 PM (xqRaG)

530 Chinese Doctor When You Bend Over: Ahh so!

Posted by: 4 at March 04, 2021 01:03 PM (KnJdm)

531 swabbed the white man but I did not swab the Jap you see.
Posted by: Xi Xi at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (zk16/)

You beat me to it and you were better.

Posted by: Brother Northernlurker just another guy at March 04, 2021 01:03 PM (lgiXo)

532 Two gifts that just keep on giving.

Nixon started the party!

Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 01:03 PM (z6yGz)

533 Nood grifter

Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at March 04, 2021 01:03 PM (46GDR)

534 General Tso's Hot & Spicy Anal Swab, now with extra noodle.

Posted by: BifBewalski - fire in the hole at March 04, 2021 01:04 PM (VcFUs)

535 Cleamed corn! We charge you extra!

Posted by: Swabmaster Shin at March 04, 2021 01:04 PM (sWM8x)

536 Imitate Hop Sing after tranny surgery so you look like the Ancient Chinese Secret Calgon girl with the pig tails.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 04, 2021 01:01 PM (s2VJv)
------------

Dilation and stink

Posted by: Braenyard, Patriot dog, starving the beast at March 04, 2021 01:04 PM (zk16/)

537
In short, the TNC's did the US just as they have been doing third world countries or even our allies for years. Cheap labor, expanded markets, and cheaper raw materials, in order to produce more profits for their managers and shareholders.
Posted by: whig


I agree, but corporations are going to do what they do. It is up to the gov. to set the rules. Most companies were in a no win situation since if they did not outsource to China, they would just steal the IP and undercut them.

Our mistake was allowing the country into our trading club. They do not respect IP, they use slave labor, they are state capitalism, ... and mostly their goal since the 60s has been to kill us all.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 04, 2021 01:04 PM (LWu6U)

538 526 Ok ok . It's coming to me . a porny flick. Behind The Big Swab.
Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 04, 2021 01:02 PM (l5rNb)

50 Swabs of Grey.

International Best seller.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 04, 2021 01:04 PM (oHd/0)

539 Posted by: lussie kanye at March 04, 2021 12:56 PM (IXLjX)

Funniest spam ever, or extremely clever sock?

Posted by: WhyBanned at March 04, 2021 01:04 PM (YkawN)

540 Posted by: Lady in Black at March 04, 2021 12:47 PM (O+I8R)

Instead if shame they have been *laughing* at the rest of the world during this last year. Selling shredded paper as "PPE", etc. Another Cuomo issue, that is mostly unknown, is that he lost tens of millions of dollars to China for WuFlu supplies that were bad and is being forced to sue through Chinese government approved attorneys in Hong Kong.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 04, 2021 01:05 PM (1lKRm)

541 The massive govt. overreaction to an imaginary attack on a paranoid govt obsessed with conspiracies would be a great subject for late night comedians. If there were any.

Posted by: Ripley at March 04, 2021 01:05 PM (MxEKc)

542 You forgot currency manipulation.

Posted by: Unkaren at March 04, 2021 01:05 PM (z6yGz)

543 All this Asian talk, I think we're doing Pho for dinner!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2021 01:06 PM (6J/xZ)

544 4
Search for extra long, girthy, condoms.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 04, 2021 01:07 PM (u82oZ)

545 Sometimes an anal swab is just an anal swab ... but mostly is a metaphorical dick, but then again most things are.

Posted by: Freudian Analist at March 04, 2021 01:07 PM (dYe5S)

546 "There's a swab in my thingamabob." That was brilliant.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 04, 2021 01:09 PM (VP4Cd)

547 I haven't read the comments to see if anyone mentioned it yet, but, it's obvious China isn't even pretending any more that their goal is nothing less than complete humiliation of the rest of the world.

Posted by: blake - Dr semi lurker in marginal standing at March 04, 2021 01:10 PM (2SdPm)

548

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at March 04, 2021 01:11 PM (K2SnJ)

549 It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system."

Posted by: Jan Doodana at March 04, 2021 01:12 PM (Vu7A1)

550 The old custom of kow-towing to the Emperor is back in fashion, Round Eyes!
---- CCP Dynasty

Posted by: That Deplorable SOB Van Owen at March 04, 2021 01:12 PM (bAe71)

551 468 Star Trek episode, proposed: Kirk, McCoy and Spock beam down to a planet where the natives look like giant swabs.

NO
SWAB
I

Posted by: Horta at March 04, 2021 01:16 PM (v3pYe)

552 This rocket is bound for Uranus.

Posted by: China Aerospace at March 04, 2021 01:19 PM (Vu7A1)

553 Odd. In actuality, China should be begging the entire flipping world for forgiveness for unleashing this virus onto unsuspecting countries...when they knew they were doing it intentionally. Instead, they choose to attempt world humiliation for their own horrific actions. Unbelievable.
Posted by: Lady in Black
------

A Liberal acquaintance the other day alluded to someone else as 'A Conservative', because that person used the phrase 'Chinese Flu'.

Their religion does not allow reality to cloud their socio-political preoccupations.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 04, 2021 01:24 PM (WZ5i4)

554 So. Supposedly, this virus, which is not much more than a bad cold, is mostly a respiratory concern.
BUT, let's make people bend over and check their asses, which have little, if anything to do with their lungs.
Yeah baby! Just press your ass up to your computer screen and spead 'em. Google, FB, Amazon, and most importantly, Bill Gates, will determine if you need to go to the 'happy camp' to be 'fixed'.
Say - maybe we'll get awesome butt masks...wear 2 and you'll never get sick...

Posted by: COMountainMarie at March 04, 2021 01:30 PM (PoqRU)

555 I saw the backside of Nowhere open for Chinese Anal Swabs.

I was a bit traumatized, but Nowhere just stares off into Nothing.

Posted by: Rutger Hauer at March 04, 2021 01:42 PM (UnQlg)

556 Just garbage

Posted by: Rutger at March 04, 2021 02:04 PM (UnQlg)

557 Running up the score

Posted by: Rutgerbage at March 04, 2021 02:04 PM (UnQlg)

558 CCP wants a stool sample

how fast do they want it? Because I'm more than happy to throw it at them as hard as I could

Posted by: GrogNerd at March 04, 2021 03:43 PM (zxZIs)

559 My Colon Can Moo! Can You?

Posted by: Richard DeCamp at March 04, 2021 04:21 PM (B7tJ2)

560 Only a diplomat would enjoy this and say nothing. I hear Obama requested a re-check.

Posted by: I am not corey Booker at March 04, 2021 06:49 PM (EcD5Y)

561 If you suspend your disbelief or whatever and try to be objective about it, it's rather clever of them giving the rest of the world a big F U this way. And who goes to China? They're getting their just deserts.

Posted by: Random thought generator at March 04, 2021 10:42 PM (EIz7d)

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