LOL: The Atlantic Magazine Is Laying Off One Fifth of Its Employees; The Rest Will Get Pay Cuts, Supposedly

I guess The Atlantic will not turn out to be the Escape Pod that NeverTrump Fake Conservatives were hoping it would be.

Gee I sure hope they don't shitcan David Frum.

Psst, Atlantic: Don't say you heard this for me, but you can offer David Frum the minimum wage and he'd still write his shitty pieces for you. These NeverTrumpers have literally nowhere else to go.

lol:

"We're all in this together" is the new "Learn to Code."

Posted by: Ace at 07:39 PM




Comments

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1 LOL

Posted by: Iris at May 21, 2020 07:40 PM (6lKe4)

2 uno

Posted by: runner at May 21, 2020 07:40 PM (zr5Kq)

3 nuts !

Posted by: runner at May 21, 2020 07:40 PM (zr5Kq)

4 More firings, please

Posted by: CN at May 21, 2020 07:40 PM (ONvIw)

5 I wish there was a way to make these place face the financial hardship of their declining industry. Instead they are vanity propaganda rags...

Posted by: Iris at May 21, 2020 07:41 PM (6lKe4)

6 Our local newspaper has gone from publishing six days per week to three due to lack of advertising. The internet has changed things.

Posted by: First Post Today at May 21, 2020 07:42 PM (QabZH)

7 lol. events business. what's that, the Lido deck?

Posted by: x at May 21, 2020 07:42 PM (nFwvY)

8 What a shame.

They were such nice folks ...

Posted by: Adriane the Cynical Critic ... at May 21, 2020 07:42 PM (LPnfS)

9
Chinese economy must be doing worse that we think.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 21, 2020 07:42 PM (mht8P)

10 Moar media destruction.

Yas!

Posted by: Ha at May 21, 2020 07:42 PM (SJDa9)

11 Learnin' to code here, boss!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:43 PM (guGkK)

12 Aw, bummer. (Did that sound sincere?)

Posted by: Jordan61 at May 21, 2020 07:43 PM (OzQGF)

13 LOL: The Atlantic Magazine Is Laying Off One Fifth of Its Employees; The Rest Will Get Pay Cuts, Supposedly

-
How To Stop Worrying and Learn To Love the Lockdown

Posted by: Governor Whitler at May 21, 2020 07:43 PM (+y/Ru)

14 I guess The Atlantic will not turn out to be the Escape Pod that NeverTrump Fake Conservatives were hoping it would be.



Let it go. There's no lifesigns.

Posted by: Trump Gunners at May 21, 2020 07:44 PM (yQpMk)

15 Permanent staycation. Enjoy, Atlanteans!

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at May 21, 2020 07:44 PM (H5knJ)

16 So The Atlantic may have hit an iceberg?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:44 PM (guGkK)

17 Thankfully we have not gotten hit by paycuts- yet.

My boss (a regional manager) was on a thing where they were rotating them country wide, week on, week off. Then they changed to every week, but half pay until everything was back open. I joked to him that it works out the same.

What? It is not like I can expect a raise this year anyway.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:44 PM (A5zUN)

18 #LearnToMineCoal

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 07:44 PM (yQpMk)

19 looks like the exceptional growth missed it by that much.

Posted by: x at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (nFwvY)

20 This gives me hope, that the shutdown may be taking some fake journalists out.

If we're all staying home and losing our jobs, we have more time to read. Shouldn't these types of publications be doing better because of the shutdown?

Posted by: Emmie at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (ouBhA)

21
Say it now, say it loud:

LEARN TO CODE

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (pNxlR)

22 I'll miss the valuable coupons inside.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (guGkK)

23
"Events business" is like parties and functions, yes?

In other words, either The Atlantic fake journalistic publication is dependent on covering insider elite cocktail parties, or their Advertisers are heavy in the party industry.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (9DbOM)

24 Hey Ace, is there any jobs here at AOS? Asking for a friend named Fru...

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (32YRo)

25 I get most of my news from the Atlantic, this is really bad news. Probably because of Trump! Now laugh!

Posted by: Jimmy Kennel, former comedian now political analyst at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (VoKVv)

26 Consumer revenue strategy.

Why waste money advertising in their shit magazine?

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (aDI6+)

27 Learn to Load

Posted by: U-Haul at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (5Zt1F)

28
I want to tell our departing colleagues how deeply sorry I am. Now where's my damn lobster?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 21, 2020 07:45 PM (mht8P)

29 Boo fing hoo

Learn to say "would you like fries with that?"

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at May 21, 2020 07:46 PM (0ReGO)

30 Finally a lovely piece of news.

Rot in Hell, leftist propagandists.

Posted by: Ladyl at May 21, 2020 07:46 PM (TdMsT)

31 # learn to coal mine

Posted by: RoyalOil at May 21, 2020 07:46 PM (aO8Gd)

32 Psst, Atlantic: Don't say you heard this for me, but you can offer David Frum the minimum wage and he'd still write his shitty pieces for you. These NeverTrumpers have literally nowhere else to go.


I hear Highlights for Children is looking for talent.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:46 PM (guGkK)

33 two words: ha ha.

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at May 21, 2020 07:46 PM (4a9Vv)

34 Good

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 07:46 PM (aFWbw)

35
Hey.... laid off assholes !!!


NOW we are #inthistogether

Posted by: fixerupper at May 21, 2020 07:46 PM (nw6Hr)

36 Learn to Brazilian

Posted by: MyPubes at May 21, 2020 07:47 PM (nzKWW)

37 They need to eat more carrots.

Posted by: Eromero at May 21, 2020 07:47 PM (XhWtx)

38 We've had exceptional growth, but getting rid of some useless people would make it even better.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at May 21, 2020 07:47 PM (+0AKE)

39
#LearnToDig

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 21, 2020 07:47 PM (mht8P)

40
"... a bracing decline in advertising."

LOLGF

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 07:47 PM (pNxlR)

41 I'm pretty sure this is unconstitutional. Better check with Tater Stelter.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 21, 2020 07:47 PM (+y/Ru)

42 In under the wire...top fiddy

Posted by: Traveling Man Who's Stuck At Home&&&& at May 21, 2020 07:47 PM (8nUpF)

43 Too bad. For a while they were crushing it in the chiropractor waiting room business.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:47 PM (guGkK)

44 They hoped they would get Trump.

Instead they got pink slips.

Own goal, bishes.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 07:48 PM (aFWbw)

45 Well, now that the Atlantic has shot itself in the head - its pretty safe to ask the NeverTrumpers:

"WHERE ARE YOUR REBEL FREINDS NOW?"

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 07:48 PM (32YRo)

46 Overnight my ass.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at May 21, 2020 07:48 PM (+0AKE)

47
#sux2bu

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 07:48 PM (pNxlR)

48 I wonder how long before twitter bans you for saying #we're all in this together.

Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice at May 21, 2020 07:48 PM (6U3DW)

49 I heard David Frum just created his own OnlyFans page

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at May 21, 2020 07:48 PM (h1jJh)

50 LTC, bitches. LTC, then LOLGF.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider, LOL, get fucked at May 21, 2020 07:48 PM (T8HPM)

51 "after collapse of the event business"

I never realized how much publications depended on this revenue. I always thought it was more about promoting themselves.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (xPl2J)

52 #LearnToFoad

Posted by: That irredeemable guy who always says... at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (EgshT)

53 #LearnToCookRamen

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (aFWbw)

54 Well I'll bet theres some 'reporters' assholes slamming shut tonight.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (XEfKE)

55 Once upon a time the Atlantic was a serious, if leftwing, magazine.


But it has been trash for years now.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (WdocV)

56 >>>I hear Highlights for Children is looking for talent.


The Conservative Case for Why Orange is the Most Racist Color in the Crayon Box, by David Frum.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (HmZuC)

57 Hahahahaha

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (EkdFP)

58 Learn to Brazilian

***

Are you waxing poetic?

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (WdocV)

59 And the Titanic suffered a bracing decline in flotation.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (guGkK)

60 Have any of these clown shows started pitching virtual cruises yet?

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (o3AYq)

61
#LearnToExplode

Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (9DbOM)

62
I learn to code.... now I am gone
I learn to code.
I'll learn to code..... cuz Im coming home
I can't go on . . . .




...... writing.


~ELO

(Electronically Laid Off)

Posted by: fixerupper at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (nw6Hr)

63 I wonder how much the usual suspects are hurting because cruises are shutdown.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (xPl2J)

64 "New normal"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (EkdFP)

65 #fivedollarhandjobs

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (aDI6+)

66
"Event staff"? You mean, whores?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (mht8P)

67 You assholes wanted, nay, demanded this, and now you're getting laid off. Karma's a bitch, and the Wuhan Virus is showing us all how irrelevant the media, colleges, and politicians truly are.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:51 PM (AFSld)

68
A paean to "The Atlantic"

Way down below the ocean
Where your bottom line be
Hee, hee, hee!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 07:51 PM (pNxlR)

69 59 And the Titanic suffered a bracing decline in flotation.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (guGkK)

Just like Pamela Anderson.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:51 PM (A5zUN)

70 If you reach down to rub David Frum's belly right now, what are the odds he'll roll over on his back and pee?

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 07:51 PM (32YRo)

71 "exceptional growth"


Ha the corporate babble bullshit is hilarious.



" While the Atlantic company life raft is a strong and sturdy vessel, growing exceptionally, 68 of you will nevertheless be fed to the sharks."

"As the shark gnaws at your limbs and you pray for death by drowning, please know that our growth is exceptional."

"Please cooperate fully when security checks your pockets for office supplies as you depart"

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 07:51 PM (5Zt1F)

72 "Premium business clients"

Oh?

So there's a fancier version of their screed?

I like that, the way they pretend they're like a car manufacturer: We're going to drop the value lines and focus on our luxury models

Posted by: RoyalOil at May 21, 2020 07:51 PM (aO8Gd)

73 There is an absolute glut of assholes towing the Chinese/Democrat line on "the news". Hell, you can just directly print the Chinese embassy's press releases and save time....and however much money they are paying these guys.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:51 PM (WdocV)

74 Think about how much of our country votes the way it does over a few hundred people in this dying industry.



Posted by: Blago at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (Ihsvk)

75 If Frum was in any danger, Mark Suckaturd or Qatar would cover his paycheck.

Posted by: blinded by the douche at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (EA1BR)

76 These people are too stupid to code, they need to take up dishwashing.

Posted by: Mark in Sandy UT at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (DTI8p)

77 The Ottoman Empire suffered a bracing decline in geographical integrity.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (guGkK)

78 Cry more, bitch tits.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (NWiLs)

79 #heelsup

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (ePWRo)

80 >>"We're all in this together"


If by 'This' they mean their Wife, yeah.

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (3aPpr)

81 63 I wonder how much the usual suspects are hurting because cruises are shutdown.
Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 07:50 PM (xPl2J)

A lot of the people who went on these things were loaded. I am guessing that they will make donations straight out- if they are not horrified by their 'conservative' coverage lately.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (A5zUN)

82 Are the Dispatch and Bulwark hiring? Lol.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (EkdFP)

83 Once upon a time the Atlantic was a serious, if leftwing, magazine.


But it has been trash for years now.


Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (WdocV)

Just like The New Republic.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (xPl2J)

84 >>>Hell, you can just directly print the Chinese embassy's press releases and save time....and however much money they are paying these guys.


I'm sure the ChiComs will continue paying these toads while they're unemployed.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (AFSld)

85 Thankfully they haven't found a way to outlaw schadenfreude, because this is the feel good story of the day!

Posted by: BurkeanMama at May 21, 2020 07:53 PM (CYk5a)

86
So there's a fancier version of their screed?

***

We alternate telling our premium clients how bad Orangeman is with deep throating them. You'd be surprised how much a tech billionaire will pay for that service.


Posted by: The Atlantic at May 21, 2020 07:53 PM (WdocV)

87 The downside is this gives more power and visibility to Farcebook, Twatter, and the big digital platforms.

Posted by: rd at May 21, 2020 07:53 PM (+0uDE)

88 If by 'This' they mean their Wife, yeah.
Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (3aPpr)

Garret's comments are sticking it seems now, but wanted to preserve this one anyway.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:53 PM (A5zUN)

89 These journo tears make for an awesome martini.

Posted by: Miklos with most of a bottle of Stoli at May 21, 2020 07:53 PM (QzkSJ)

90
Exceptional growth in subscriptions after the paywall (bullshit)

A bracing decline in advertising (not bullshit)

These dumbfucks are somehow surprised that advertisers aren't stupid.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 21, 2020 07:53 PM (EGyGV)

91 >>>Thankfully they haven't found a way to outlaw schadenfreude, because this is the feel good story of the day!


I think this goes into the Trumpenfreude category.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (AFSld)

92 There will be plenty of time to SunUrHole.

Posted by: MyPubes at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (nzKWW)

93 The Hindenburg suffered a bracing increase in ambient hydrogen temperature...

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (PiwSw)

94
Boy, I sure hope they did not lay offer the staff from their Trans bureau. That would be severe two body blows to that vitally important reporting sector in under one week.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (pNxlR)

95 The Hindenburg suffered a bracing decline in Hydrogen pressure.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (+0AKE)

96 I am sure most of them will find a position on someone's staff.

Indepently contracted.

For about $150-200 and hour.

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (3aPpr)

97
who's this new garret fellow everybody keeps prattling on about.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (nw6Hr)

98 Are the Dispatch and Bulwark hiring? Lol.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (EkdFP)

Does the Titanic need more ice?

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (32YRo)

99 55 Once upon a time the Atlantic was a serious, if leftwing, magazine.

But it has been trash for years now.
Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (WdocV)

Like The New Republic.

Posted by: m at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (QVtxC)

100 Yes, they may lose their houses, their jobs, and their wives but at least they are all safe from the Wuhan flu...

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (WdocV)

101
Nagasaki suffered a bracing decline in real estate values.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (mht8P)

102 Horde mind is real, y'all.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (PiwSw)

103 Exceptional growth in subscriptions after the paywall (bullshit)

A bracing decline in advertising (not bullshit)

These dumbfucks are somehow surprised that advertisers aren't stupid.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 21, 2020 07:53 PM (EGyGV)

Well, to be generous, a increase in subscriptions from 4 to 15 is pretty exceptional, statistically speaking.

Posted by: LASue at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (Ed8Zd)

104 Don't worry journolisters, you'll always have Twitter.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (+0AKE)

105 76 These people are too stupid to code
Posted by: Mark in Sandy UT at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (DTI8p)

I see you've never used Autodesk software.

Posted by: blinded by the douche at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (EA1BR)

106 the overnight and near-complete undoing of in-person events

"which we continue to advocate for, so fuck you and your job." was left out in the editing process, I guess.

Posted by: spindrift at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (fYH8e)

107 The Hindenburg blowed up good!

Posted by: Bruce at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (vd8XM)

108 I have to say, I don't like the cut of that Garret guy's Jib.

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (3aPpr)

109 79 #heelsup
Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (ePWRo)

Oh, THAT'S the new "Learn to code"!

Posted by: m at May 21, 2020 07:56 PM (QVtxC)

110 "This morning, we are informing 68 of our colleagues that we will not have a place for them on The Atlantic's new course."


Sure, they'll tread water for a while.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 07:56 PM (guGkK)

111 You know that's a fascinating outcome here.

Nobody has watched ESPN for 2 months.

How many business are going to look at their sales for the last two months and realize they don't need ESPN?

Posted by: RoyalOil at May 21, 2020 07:56 PM (aO8Gd)

112 The Hindenburg blowed up good!

Posted by: Bruce at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (vd8XM)

"Oh, the Karenamity!"

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 07:56 PM (32YRo)

113 >>>I have to say, I don't like the cut of that Garret guy's Jib.


Only one "t." It must be pronounced Garr-ay.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:56 PM (AFSld)

114 *watching livestream of Nolan North playing Uncharted 3- now with 100% less Troy Baker!*

It is funny, but they are all hilariously unkempt with shaggy hair. Except for McGonnagal- who is bald.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:56 PM (A5zUN)

115 83 Once upon a time the Atlantic was a serious, if leftwing, magazine.

But it has been trash for years now.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (WdocV)

Just like The New Republic.
Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (xPl2J)

99 Like The New Republic.
Posted by: m at May 21, 2020 07:54 PM (QVtxC)

!!!

Posted by: m at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (QVtxC)

116 I'm envisioning 68 Stuart Smalleys sitting in front of mirrors pumping themselves up.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (aFWbw)

117
"after collapse of the event business"

I never realized how much publications depended on this revenue. I always thought it was more about promoting themselves.
Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 07:49 PM (xPl2J)






Only since their advertising revenue cratered long ago, after advertisers realized that ads were a waste of money, given their declining readership.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (EGyGV)

118 >>>Nobody has watched ESPN for 2 months.


ESPN is the one business I want totally destroyed. Well, that and Disney.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (AFSld)

119 the overnight and near-complete undoing of in-person events

"which we continue to advocate for, so fuck you and your job." was left out in the editing process, I guess.
Posted by: spindrift at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (fYH8e)

Governor Desantis won't get his apology, but he will get justice.

Posted by: BurkeanMama at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (CYk5a)

120 "It would take a heart of stone not to laugh."

Anyone know who said that?

Bet he'd be laughing...

Posted by: Parker at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (zV/fi)

121 Only one "t." It must be pronounced Garr-ay.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:56 PM (AFSld)

Sure, Gary.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (A5zUN)

122 >>It must be pronounced Garr-ay.


No shit. Bet he carries a Messenger Bag, too.

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (3aPpr)

123 #3. ....a bracing decline in advertising.

---------

Management weasel-speak, writ large.

Imagine trying to say that with a straight face.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (WZ5i4)

124 You know, somehow I have managed to get this far in my life without ever needing to know what the Atlantic has to say.

Same for The New Yorker.

Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (hku12)

125 "We're all in this together"

Some more than others.

When I see that motto, I think of all the bad motivational posters I've seen over my decades of working in various industries.

First off, the "We" is not you and them. It's just you. They're special and they sure don't want to be together with YOU!

Second, the "Together" is again all you all are together and WE are not a part of that.


This is one of those word game deals where what you think you're reading isn't what it means.

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (/fsFg)

126 I went over to check the Atlantic's current stories.

OrangemanBad CovidNaval GazingOrangemanBad CovidOrangemanBad CovidSpaceX Man Bad CovidNaval GazingTHE VIRUS IS DEATHOrangemanBad CovidHongKong Man BadWhite Mans all Rayciss

what a waste of space.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (WdocV)

127 ESPN is the one business I want totally destroyed. Well, that and Disney.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (AFSld)

This. And I used to love Disney as a kid.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (A5zUN)

128 We don't have any parachutes left but you'll still have to bail out.

Posted by: Eromero at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (XhWtx)

129 >>>No shit. Bet he carries a Messenger Bag, too.


It's called a "murse!"

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (AFSld)

130 At least the memo leaves out being wrong about nearly everything for the last 10 years.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (+0AKE)

131 ""We're all in this together" is the new "Learn to Code.""
__________________________

How long will it take before our Cultural Overlords decide that this too is racist, sexist, and homophobic and is a Bad Thought?

Posted by: Puddleglum at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (n9Mj/)

132 The Atlantic's statement is a riotously funny stream of gobbledygook.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (oVJmc)

133
Grr....thanks for the formatting minx....so fixing


I went over to check the Atlantic's current stories.
OrangemanBad Covid
Naval Gazing
OrangemanBad Covid
OrangemanBad Covid
SpaceX Man Bad
Covid
Naval Gazing
THE VIRUS IS DEATH
OrangemanBad Covid
HongKong Man
Bad
White Mans all Rayciss

what a waste of space.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (WdocV)

134 I have to say, I don't like the cut of that Garret guy's Jib.

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 07:55 PM (3aPpr)

I see the governor came through with the pardon.

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (32YRo)

135 I'm waiting to see what the collapse of the ad industry does to the websites we call "big tech"

Posted by: blinded by the douche at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (EA1BR)

136 Wot's "The Atlantic"?

Posted by: klaftern at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (RuIsu)

137 It's called a "murse!"
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (AFSld)

Austrian Shoulder Bag!
-NY Hipster

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (A5zUN)

138 A bracing decline in advertising

"An icy plunge into the debt pool."

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (5Zt1F)

139 As we sail off into the doldrums on the good ship Atlantic!

Posted by: Little Admiral Kristol at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (EgshT)

140 On Topic from last thread!
https://twitter.com/TheBabylonBee/status/
1263265819108290561

Tranny Governor Whitler says 'Revolting Against A Tyrannical Government Is Simply Un-American'

Posted by: andycanuck at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (TQ/zJ)

141 Sears Roebuck suffered a bracing decline in solvency.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 08:00 PM (guGkK)

142 Oh, puhleeze:

The Atlantic laid off 68 staffers despite its unparalleled pandemic coverage
CNN.com

Posted by: m at May 21, 2020 08:00 PM (QVtxC)

143 You know, somehow I have managed to get this far in my life without ever needing to know what the Atlantic has to say.



Same for The New Yorker.
Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (hku12)

All I know is they both have snarky and snide cartoons that most of the time are in jokes and the other are aimed at the great unwashed. (meaning anyone else but them)

I only ever saw them at Dentists and Doctors offices. Never ever bought one.

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:00 PM (/fsFg)

144 ESPN is the one business I want totally destroyed. Well, that and Disney.

___

Hey that hurts. If we weren't here who would bring you new child stars? And who would molest those child stars? Think of the children!

Posted by: Disney Execs at May 21, 2020 08:00 PM (WdocV)

145 Don't call us.

We'll not call you.

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 08:00 PM (3aPpr)

146 They could...Learn to Cope.

Posted by: fb at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (6ESMG)

147 "Exceptional growth in print and digital subscriptions since our September introduction of a paywall."


Considering they started with zero digital subscriptions in August, that's no saying much.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (HmZuC)

148 Two words:

lol

gf

Posted by: eleven at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (QLPEO)

149
Ha the corporate babble bullshit is hilarious.



" While the Atlantic company life raft is a strong and sturdy vessel, growing exceptionally, 68 of you will nevertheless be fed to the sharks."

"As the shark gnaws at your limbs and you pray for death by drowning, please know that our growth is exceptional."

"Please cooperate fully when security checks your pockets for office supplies as you depart"


The was an ROF (reduction in force) at DuPont in the early 90s and Corporate issued one of their usual bafflegab communiques on the subject. Within a day a parody of it hit the communications channels and it was hilariously dismissive of the real thing. I wish that I had kept a copy of it - it was that good.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (pNxlR)

150 I must say, focusing your premium business service on your premium business clients is an unexpected and innovative move.

I guess they were trying to market their premium business service to panhandlers and crack whores before.

Posted by: spindrift at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (fYH8e)

151 >>>Hey that hurts. If we weren't here who would bring you new child stars? And who would molest those child stars? Think of the children!



Mmm... Debbie Ryan...

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (AFSld)

152
Austrian Shoulder Bag!
-NY Hipster
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (A5zUN)

------

You know who else used Austrian shoulder bags??

Posted by: fixerupper at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (nw6Hr)

153 Breaking911@Breaking911
BREAKING: Michigan Attorney General says Donald Trump is no longer welcome in the state of Michigan after the President did not wear a mask in public.

"He is a petulant child who refuses to follow the rules. This is not a joke."

-
Writ of Expellairamus!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (+y/Ru)

154
Nagasaki suffered a bracing decline in real estate values.
Posted by: Hadrian
--------

The cruise lines, a bracing decline in passengers.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (WZ5i4)

155 OT:

I haven't read Paterrico in a long time. I understood he was Never Trump, but I kind of figured he'd be at least thoughtful about it.

Holy shit, that dude lost his fucking mind!

Jeez...

Posted by: Robert at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (10g3T)

156 The Atlantic laid off 68 staffers despite its unparalleled pandemic coverage

CNN.com___

NICE!
Oh sorry read that as 69.

Posted by: 4CHAN at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (WdocV)

157 ESPN is the one business I want totally destroyed. Well, that and Disney.


Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:57 PM (AFSld)




MFM delenda est

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (rpqJl)

158
It's called a "murse!"
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (AFSld)

Austrian Shoulder Bag!
-NY Hipster
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (A5zUN)






You mean, European Shoulder Bag. No need to be nationalistic.

You know there was another Austrian who had a nationalistic view....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (EGyGV)

159 Sears Roebuck suffered a bracing decline in solvency.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 08:00 PM (guGkK)


Yeah. I was gonna say, I'd never seen the use of "bracing" in that context.

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (/fsFg)

160 I think 95% of the guys on ESPN would be way happier if they just came out of the closet and ate some dick.

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (3aPpr)

161 Am I the only one that doubts "the exceptional growth in print and digital subscriptions" since they set up a paywall?

I guess negative growth could be considered "exceptional".

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (Xmo7L)

162 Are the Dispatch and Bulwark hiring? Lol.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2020 07:52 PM (EkdFP)


Think of the beauty of an embedded Horde sourced deep troll/commenter at either of those institutions! We could donate the salary to Ace!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (jnM20)

163 There are Dictators looking for a few good karens

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (ZCEU2)

164 #LearnToStuffEnvelopes

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (oVJmc)

165 136 Wot's "The Atlantic"?
Posted by: klaftern



An Ocean.

Posted by: Puddleglum at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (n9Mj/)

166 A bracing decline in advertising

"A shocking reduction in dollar bills"

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (5Zt1F)

167 "Stay home; stay safe."



Don't call us, we'll call you.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Get the Flu Manchu Blues at the Outrage Outlet! at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (0QYMt)

168
You know who else used Austrian shoulder bags??
Posted by: fixerupper at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (nw6Hr)

Jonah Goldberg?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (A5zUN)

169 I just can't seem to stop crapping my pants.

Posted by: Michigan Attorney General at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (EgshT)

170 Writ of Expellairamus! 

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (+y/Ru)

Are you trying to bait nerds into correcting you?

Posted by: trev006 at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (49Hsx)

171 >>>BREAKING: Michigan Attorney General says Donald Trump is no longer welcome in the state of Michigan after the President did not wear a mask in public.


Air Force One should land in Michigan at midnight.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:03 PM (AFSld)

172 A bracing decline in advertising

"A shocking reduction in dollar bills"
Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:02 PM (5Zt1F)



A plethora of red ink.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 08:03 PM (guGkK)

173 111
How many business are going to look at their sales for the last two months and realize they don't need ESPN?
Posted by: RoyalOil at May 21, 2020 07:56 PM (aO8Gd)


This is a pleasing thought

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 08:03 PM (qleR6)

174
I guess they were trying to market their premium business service to panhandlers and crack whores before.
Posted by: spindrift
-------

Metaphorically, this is actually true.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 21, 2020 08:03 PM (cGzEU)

175 It looks like the Atlantic was one of the "learn to coders"...
https://tinyurl.com/ydco2urk

Posted by: andycanuck at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (TQ/zJ)

176 who is number 69?

Posted by: x at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (nFwvY)

177 Yeah. I was gonna say, I'd never seen the use of "bracing" in that context.
Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (/fsFg)

I have to say though: I like the turn of phrase. It does everything. It stands in for: shocking, depressing, catastrophic, immediate, life threatening...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (A5zUN)

178
My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

I shit you not, it's loose in my area. Tewksbury, MA. Literally down the street.

Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (9DbOM)

179 Devastating Mississippi Church Fire Investigated As Arson, May Be Because They Dared To Be Open And Hold Services

-
More COVID related destruction.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (+y/Ru)

180 >>>who is number 69?


Meghan Markle?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (AFSld)

181 146 They could...Learn to Cope.
Posted by: fb at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (6ESMG)

As fb dons his aviator sunglasses, and a Who guitar riff plays in the background.

Posted by: rd at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (+0uDE)

182 Breaking911@Breaking911
BREAKING: Michigan Attorney General says Donald Trump is no longer welcome in the state of Michigan after the President did not wear a mask in public.

"He is a petulant child who refuses to follow the rules. This is not a joke."

-
Writ of Expellairamus!
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (+y/Ru)


How many divisions does the Attorney General of Michigan command?

Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (hku12)

183 153 Breaking911@Breaking911
BREAKING: Michigan Attorney General says Donald Trump is no longer welcome in the state of Michigan after the President did not wear a mask in public.

"He is a petulant child who refuses to follow the rules. This is not a joke."

-
Writ of Expellairamus!
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler



Well, that will show him! Nice work people.

Posted by: Puddleglum at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (n9Mj/)

184 A plethora of red ink.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 08:03 PM (guGkK)

*bad spanish accent*
A plethora?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (A5zUN)

185 The quicker this media dies the better.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (aFWbw)

186 They're all going to end up being hired as contact tracers.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (xPl2J)

187 A plethora of red ink.
Posted by: Cicero
------

A bracing surfeit of debits.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (cGzEU)

188 "He is a petulant child who refuses to follow the rules. This is not a joke."
-
Writ of Expellairamus!
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (+y/Ru)


Is this the same state whose governor told everyone they were not allowed to go to their summer homes...
...and then went to her summer home?

Posted by: Emmie at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (ouBhA)

189 My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!


___

Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife

Posted by: Antoine Dodson at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (WdocV)

190 Holy shit , Tucker playing Fauci claiming Chinese "transparency" about their Lung Aids.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (5Zt1F)

191 171 >>>BREAKING: Michigan Attorney General says Donald Trump is no longer welcome in the state of Michigan after the President did not wear a mask in public.


Air Force One should land in Michigan at midnight.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:03 PM (AFSld)



Buzz the capital at noon.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (qleR6)

192 My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

I shit you not, it's loose in my area. Tewksbury, MA. Literally down the street.
Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (9DbOM)

Mass Hysteria!!!!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (A5zUN)

193 Hindenburg = bracing decline in airworthiness.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (+c1jw)

194 This garrett-3aPpr is a reasonable man, open to negotiations.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (yQpMk)

195 How long will it take before our Cultural Overlords decide that this too is racist, sexist, and homophobic and is a Bad Thought?
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 21, 2020 07:59 PM (n9Mj/)


The avant garde Twitter decided that long ago, hence my absence from same, even I tastefully posted "Lurn 2 Kode!".

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (jnM20)

196 How did Michigan end up with two wack job women in statewide office?

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (xPl2J)

197 32 Psst, Atlantic: Don't say you heard this for me, but you can offer David Frum the minimum wage and he'd still write his shitty pieces for you. These NeverTrumpers have literally nowhere else to go.


I hear Highlights for Children is looking for talent.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero)
___________

And this has exactly what to do with David Frum?

Posted by: Furious George at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (rDq8D)

198 who is number 69?





Meghan Markle?
___

SOON

Posted by: The Porn Industry at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (WdocV)

199 >>>My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!


Run, Doctor Zaius, run!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (AFSld)

200 Watching Halt and Catch Fire, and I noticed that season one was filmed and produced 2012-2103. Anybody else think this show prepped the battlefield for GamerGate?

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (p0Y1J)

201 Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife

They be rapin errbody up in here!

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:06 PM (5Zt1F)

202 What a shame

Posted by: Mimi Mayes at May 21, 2020 08:07 PM (8i7Ho)

203 178
My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

I shit you not, it's loose in my area. Tewksbury, MA. Literally down the street.
Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (9DbOM)

Right turn,Clyde.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 08:07 PM (aFWbw)

204 You know who else used Austrian shoulder bags??
Posted by: fixerupper at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (nw6Hr)

Kaiser Franz Joseph?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Get the Flu Manchu Blues at the Outrage Outlet! at May 21, 2020 08:07 PM (0QYMt)

205 Who was Agent 99 in the abysmal reboot?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:07 PM (A5zUN)

206 >>>Kaiser Franz Joseph?


Schwarzeneggger's father?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:07 PM (AFSld)

207 Heard today Victoria secret is going to close lots of stores and more coming by end of the year.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (ZCEU2)

208 BREAKING: Michigan Attorney General says Donald Trump is no longer
welcome in the state of Michigan after the President did not wear a mask
in public.


Prior to his visit Karen said this:


Michigan Attorney General Says State Will Sue Companies That Let Donald Trump Inside Without A Mask


Michigan has a lot of kunts running the place

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (rpqJl)

209 Right turn,Clyde.
Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 08:07 PM (aFWbw)

*golfclap*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (A5zUN)

210 Just went over to Patterico to look at what he has to say about the Flynn Petition for Writ of Mandamus.

What a dumb fuck. He starts his screed against Flynn, Sidney Powell and Trump with "She [Powell] wants Flynn SENTENCED without any further discussion. No amicus curiae, nothing."

Uhhh, no you stupid motherfucker, "She" wants the case dismissed with prejudice as the DoJ requested, in accordance with the law, because Flynn was framed.

Holy . . .

Posted by: Sharkman at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (BM2fS)

211 You know who hasn't had a decline? Ace. Keep it up Ace, and eat a burger now and then too.

Posted by: f'd at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (Tnijr)

212 Wot's "The Atlantic"?



A large body of water between North America and Europe but that's not important right now.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (yQpMk)

213 Wife's npr is reporting WA State Unemployment has been looted by foreign nationals (Nigerians) for 100s of millions of $ using already stolen data of 10s of thousands of Washingtonians. Flatten the curve.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (G7bj9)

214 >>>Who was Agent 99 in the abysmal reboot?



Anna Hathaway, I think? She does butt stuff.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (AFSld)

215
To the "Blessed 68": from now on, your opportunities will be boundless!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (pNxlR)

216 there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

That's the worst kind.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (5Zt1F)

217 Apparently there is a remix of Antoine Dodson singing that now.


https://tinyurl.com/yc9hauku (SFW youtube)

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (WdocV)

218 ESPN is the one business I want totally destroyed. Well, that and Disney.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp


With fire.

Posted by: eleven at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (QLPEO)

219 The Dignity Canal needs workers...

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (411+L)

220 And just FYI - the "murse" is totally cool if you carry guns in it.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (+c1jw)

221 Lol, I guess Mrs. Steve Jobs is tired of dumping more money in that rag.

Posted by: Dave C at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (kyZdb)

222 THIS is what they get for showing me the door!

BTW, I'm still available. Call me.

Posted by: Kevin Williamson at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (cfSRQ)

223 Good
Mort if he still can think must be glad he sold it

Posted by: Avi at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (kSq2k)

224 >>>Uhhh, no you stupid motherfucker, "She" wants the case dismissed with prejudice as the DoJ requested, in accordance with the law, because Flynn was framed.


Dude get SWATed and joins the enemy shortly thereafter.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (AFSld)

225 I hate loose fucking monkeys.

Posted by: Guy who ony likes tight monkeys at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (Tnijr)

226 My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!
------

Randy bugger, eh? Details, we'll need details.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (WZ5i4)

227 Anna Hathaway, I think? She does butt stuff.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (AFSld)

Ooo, for some reason, I kind of like Hathaway. Oh, yeah, the catsuit in Dark Knight Rises.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (A5zUN)

228 Air Force One should land in Michigan at midnight.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:03 PM (AFSld)







Buzz the capital at noon.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (qleR6)


Strafing runs

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (rpqJl)

229 Tucker has become the only media voice willing to expose the facts. He's the only one to watch at this point.

Other than that I can learn more by watching Downton Abbey reruns with my wife

Posted by: Pete Seria at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (7ZQe3)

230 Heard today Victoria secret is going to close lots of stores and more coming by end of the year.
___


So women are buying fewer bras now you say? At least we've got some good news....

Posted by: Obligatory at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (WdocV)

231 We don't have any parachutes left but you'll still have to bail out.
Posted by: Eromero at May 21, 2020 07:58 PM (XhWtx)

Don't worry, the priest said to the Boy Scout, we both have parachutes. The hotshot lawyer took your backpack.

Posted by: Just the Punchline at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (Xmo7L)

232
Keep joking, but I don't like fucking monkeys on the loose in my neighborhood.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (9DbOM)

233 They need to spank that monkey when they catch it.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (xPl2J)

234 Learn to move back in with your parents. . . .

Posted by: FIIGMO at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (Qf08A)

235 Learn to code

Posted by: jeff carter at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (eeyFM)

236 Damn, I am gonna be OK after all, just got a notice that my contact tracer application was approved, you bishes better shape up!

The taser training starts next Tuesday!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (jnM20)

237 I hate fucking monkeys.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (yQpMk)

238 >>>>And just FYI - the "murse" is totally cool if you carry guns in it.


As Jack Bauer was wont to do.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (AFSld)

239
And you all know what I mean.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (9DbOM)

240 I took freshman spanish because Hey. We're surrounded.

The teacher was old school. Really OLD school.

Taught us with the Spanish pronunciation. !!!!

That ended that adventure for me. I'd never HEARD that in all my associations with the various hispanic folks I knew.

(this was before hispanic was even a thing)

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (/fsFg)

241 213
Wife's npr is reporting WA State Unemployment has been looted by foreign
nationals (Nigerians) for 100s of millions of $ using already stolen
data of 10s of thousands of Washingtonians. Flatten the curve.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:08 PM (G7bj9)

How? Don't they know the address the checks were sent to or the bank accounts used for direct deposit? Surely the didn't send unemployment funds out of the country did they? Hell, probably.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (TLxpZ)

242 Anna Hathaway, I think? She does butt stuff.

***

Oh the quote about her finding backdoor action the most feminine thing she could imagine? Fake news. Seriously.

Posted by: Obligatory at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (WdocV)

243 213 Wife's npr is reporting WA State Unemployment has been looted by foreign nationals (Nigerians) for 100s of millions of $ using already stolen data of 10s of thousands of Washingtonians. Flatten the curve.
Posted by: Rex B



That's a lot of Nigerian Prince's.

Posted by: Puddleglum at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (n9Mj/)

244 207 Heard today Victoria secret is going to close lots of stores and more coming by end of the year.
Posted by: Skip


hey fat, you chose the wrong kind of exceptional growth

Posted by: x at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (nFwvY)

245 My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!
------

Randy bugger, eh? Details, we'll need details.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (WZ5i4)

Hey, Peter. Watch out for your cornhole, Bud.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (A5zUN)

246 >>>Ooo, for some reason, I kind of like Hathaway. Oh, yeah, the catsuit in Dark Knight Rises.


Yeah, the suit was so much better than her acting.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (AFSld)

247
"Authorities" are putting out food to trap the monkey.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (9DbOM)

248 I hate fucking monkeys.
Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (yQpMk)


Might be time to think about stopping. No?

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (/fsFg)

249 My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

I shit you not, it's loose in my area. Tewksbury, MA. Literally down the street.
Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (9DbOM)

Mass Hysteria!!!!
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (A5zUN)


Maybe it's heading to Kimball's for some ice cream.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (2JVJo)

250 WA State Unemployment has been looted by foreign nationals (Nigerians) for 100s of millions


Remain Blessed.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (5Zt1F)

251 Is that fucking monkey wearing a mask?

Posted by: Michigan Attorney General at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (EgshT)

252 It's almost as if lefty print media is on it's deathbed. Almost....

Posted by: USNtakim at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (0OmEj)

253 Visited my Internist today, in person. This is a widely respected Dr. that other doctors go to and has saved my butt twice. I've been going to him since 1975.


His advice to me was, that if suffering any symptoms of Covid-19 to go to the hospital that does instants tests, to call him day or night if positive and he would proscribe hydroxychloroquine and another drug that I can't recall. He volunteered the fact that he is taking the drug as a prophylactic, "Just like Donald Trump". I feel so much better.


Posted by: Javems at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (ofIwF)

254 Also, WeaselAcres is available to shelter out of work Victoria's Secret models. Just don't tell WW.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (+c1jw)

255
My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!


A chimp with a chubby?

A baboon with a boner?

An orang with an o-rection?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (oVJmc)

256 237 I hate fucking monkeys.
Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (yQpMk)

OK, how about just a hand job ?

Posted by: Cornelius at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (aFWbw)

257 DO NOT FUCK THE MONKEYS.

THANK YOU

Posted by: LA Zoo Signs at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (aDI6+)

258 Workers are happy as long as they get 99 weeks of unemployment, and it might be even higher than it used to be (not sure it is still 99 weeks like with Obama's Funemployment, but it probably will be soon)

Posted by: illiniwek at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (Cus5s)

259 >>>BTW, I'm still available. Call me - Kevin Williamson.


Shut up, Spider, and get my fuckin' drink.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (HmZuC)

260 I do honestly remember when Atlantic was smart, literate, fairly even handed, and thought-provoking. Its been a long time though. over 25 years. Print is almost dead, as Egon predicted, but they didn't have to hasten it by sucking and ramming hard left.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (KZzsI)

261 251 Is that fucking monkey wearing a mask?
Posted by: Michigan Attorney General at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (EgshT)

For some reason, this one got me to actually laugh out loud.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (A5zUN)

262 That monkey should run for Senator

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (411+L)

263 And just FYI - the "murse" is totally cool if you carry guns in it.
Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (+c1jw)


And, as I would have expected I note that you quite properly used the plural there!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (jnM20)

264 >>>An orang with an o-rection?


A gorilla with a thrilla!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (AFSld)

265 How many divisions does the Attorney General of Michigan command?

Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2020 08:05 PM (hku12)

Den Kommanduer der Karen Waffen Snitchen Staffel

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (32YRo)

266 File under, well, I'll be go to hell!

Todd Bensman@BensmanTodd
Two credible sources tell me the Naval Air Base shooter was a foreign-born naturalized U.S. citizen, drove up to gate wearing a head wrap, tac vest, and playing loud Arabic music before he opened fire.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (+y/Ru)

267
I shit you not, it's loose in my area. Tewksbury, MA. Literally down the street.
Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (9DbOM)

***

Wait, AL Qaeda is here in the US and we are focusing on a fucking monkey?

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (WdocV)

268
BREAKING: Michigan Attorney General says Donald Trump is no longer welcome in the state of Michigan after the President did not wear a mask
in public


Waving the red cape in front of the bull, she is ...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (pNxlR)

269 Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (oVJmc)

i laughed. What's wrong with me? oh wait...I'm sober.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (XEfKE)

270 So women are buying fewer bras now you say? At least we've got some good news....


Posted by: Obligatory at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (WdocV)

---
Come back to the natural look....

Posted by: The 70s at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (cfSRQ)

271 Hey, ma tells me dad filed for unemployment two weeks ago. He'd be 87 if he were still alive.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (G7bj9)

272 TMZ reporting that Trump wore a mask today. Even have a picture of him with it on.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (xPl2J)

273 Learn to shoplift and fuck over landlords

Posted by: Menack at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (buTO7)

274 My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

I shit you not, it's loose in my area. Tewksbury, MA. Literally down the street.
Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (9DbOM)

How do you know it's a fucking monkey? Did your dog get knocked up?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 08:14 PM (Xmo7L)

275 >>>DO NOT FUCK THE MONKEYS.

THANK YOU


Literally crying. Thank you for this!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:14 PM (AFSld)

276 NEVER FEAR, HELP IS HERE

Posted by: Captain Moneky Fucker, Marvel's Newest SJW Approved Superhero at May 21, 2020 08:14 PM (WdocV)

277 254 Also, WeaselAcres is available to shelter out of work Victoria's Secret models. Just don't tell WW.
Posted by: Weasel



You have nothing to worry about unless WW has access to your vast array of armaments then things might get sporty.

Posted by: Puddleglum at May 21, 2020 08:14 PM (n9Mj/)

278 If David Frum is laid off, where will I go for incisive political commentary!

Posted by: No one ever at May 21, 2020 08:14 PM (PiwSw)

279 Is that a banana in your...oh never mind.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:14 PM (XEfKE)

280 what is 'events business' ?

Posted by: DB- just DB. at May 21, 2020 08:15 PM (iTXRQ)

281 If David Frum is laid off, where will I go for incisive political commentary!


and deep fried butter recipes.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:15 PM (yQpMk)

282 155 OT:

I haven't read Paterrico in a long time. I understood he was Never Trump, but I kind of figured he'd be at least thoughtful about it.

Holy shit, that dude lost his fucking mind!

Jeez...
Posted by: Robert at May 21, 2020 08:01 PM (10g3T)

------

You would think after three or four years of being WRONG!!!, that you would maybe take a few days and re-evaluate your beliefs?

Maybe just decide to avoid national politics for a year?

Posted by: rd at May 21, 2020 08:15 PM (+0uDE)

283 Come back to the natural look.... Posted by: The 70s at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (cfSRQ)

___

Hmm, having seen many 70s movies featuring this look, it does require the women in question to weigh less then your average hippopotamus.

Posted by: Obligatory at May 21, 2020 08:15 PM (WdocV)

284 An orang with an o-rection?


A gorilla with a thrilla!


A capuchin to tap your thing.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 08:15 PM (2JVJo)

285 >>>If David Frum is laid off, where will I go for incisive political commentary!


Try the local sewer.

Posted by: Indiana Jones at May 21, 2020 08:15 PM (AFSld)

286 And just FYI - the "murse" is totally cool if you carry guns in it.
Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (+c1jw)

And, as I would have expected I note that you quite properly used the plural there!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (jnM20)
-------------
Well, three. Gonna need a bigger Murse.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:15 PM (+c1jw)

287 I figure WeaselWoman knows which side her bread is buttered on.

(I have no idea what I meant that to mean- I just wanted to say it.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (A5zUN)

288
[creeps up on monkey]

Posted by: Otter at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (pK7cg)

289 #LearnToPawn

Posted by: Cornelius at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (aFWbw)

290 Wow, they just arrested the guy who FILMED the Arberry stuff, for murder.

Because he did not jump in the middle of that situation, where guns were drawn.

We are off the rails folks.

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (NgKpN)

291 >>>I do honestly remember when Atlantic was smart, literate, fairly even handed, and thought-provoking. Its been a long time though. over 25 years. Print is almost dead, as Egon predicted, but they didn't have to hasten it by sucking and ramming hard left.

It's sucked since Michael Kelly died.

Posted by: Dave C at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (kyZdb)

292 271 Hey, ma tells me dad filed for unemployment two weeks ago. He'd be 87 if he were still alive.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (G7bj9)

LMAO...and sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (XEfKE)

293 >>>My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!


If it's a fucking monkey, it's a probably a bonobo. Those things are insatiable, and will even get their ghey on if no females are in reach.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (HmZuC)

294 This is where I wish we could post gifs because Danny from Hot Fuzz saying shame perfectly encapsulates how I feel about this.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (GbPPJ)

295 File under, well, I'll be go to hell!

Todd Bensman@BensmanTodd
Two credible sources tell me the Naval Air Base shooter was a foreign-born naturalized U.S. citizen, drove up to gate wearing a head wrap, tac vest, and playing loud Arabic music before he opened fire.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (+y/Ru)


Too bad we may never know the reason for his actions today!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (jnM20)

296 Also, WeaselAcres is available to shelter out of work Victoria's Secret models. Just don't tell WW.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (+c1jw)

---
WEASEL! Why the hell do you keep visiting that shed? And where did you get that limp? What's this bulk order of Viagra doing here????

Posted by: Weasel Woman at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (cfSRQ)

297 You would think after three or four years of being WRONG!!!, that you would maybe take a few days and re-evaluate your beliefs?

Maybe just decide to avoid national politics for a year?


I seriously think that someone needs to take a look at his pleas and convictions. He seems to be just fine with strong-arming innocent people into jail. Happens every day.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (yQpMk)

298
Trump wearing a mask will be his end.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (9DbOM)

299 This is a good thing because now they get to all be in this together even more.

#StayHomeStaySafe

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (ADuZP)

300 WeaselAcres is available to shelter out of work Victoria's Secret models.

Nah, they aren't firing the models just closing some of the stores. They started out a catalog business anyway, the stores were kinda dumb to open up in malls to begin with

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (KZzsI)

301 >>>Wow, they just arrested the guy who FILMED the Arberry stuff, for murder.

Because he did not jump in the middle of that situation, where guns were drawn.


Murder??? That is insanity.

Posted by: Indiana Jones at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (AFSld)

302 And just FYI - the "murse" is totally cool if you carry guns in it.
Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (+c1jw)

Doesn't that automatically make it a range bag?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (Xmo7L)

303 287 I figure WeaselWoman knows which side her bread is buttered on.

(I have no idea what I meant that to mean- I just wanted to say it.)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (A5zUN)
------
A few people here know the truth that I got the WAY better end of that deal!

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (+c1jw)

304 **smishes Alex**

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (2JVJo)

305 246 >>>Ooo, for some reason, I kind of like Hathaway. Oh, yeah, the catsuit in Dark Knight Rises.


Yeah, the suit was so much better than her acting.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (AFSld)


The Dark Knight wasn't the only thing that was rising.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Get the Flu Manchu Blues at the Outrage Outlet! at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (0QYMt)

306 207 Heard today Victoria secret is going to close lots of stores and more coming by end of the year.
Posted by: Skip


hey fat, you chose the wrong kind of exceptional growth
Posted by: x at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (nFwvY)
***********
Just placed an order an hour ago. For all the 'ettes
Victoria's Secret is having an underwear sale, panties are 7 for $30. and bras are on sale too.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (wiXsO)

307 287 I figure WeaselWoman knows which side her bread is buttered on.

(I have no idea what I meant that to mean- I just wanted to say it.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (A5zUN)

Don't bite the hand....i don't know why i said that either.

Wait...a stitch in time...no....

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (XEfKE)

308 Wow, they just arrested the guy who FILMED the Arberry stuff, for murder.


NO, no NO.

I am reliably informed that this was just a case of evil white Bubba and Bubba Jr. pointlessly shooting a poor young black man who was exploring local homes and turning his life around.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (5Zt1F)

309 Empress, LOL

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (411+L)

310 Sixty-eight red Swingline staplers went out the door today-and you expect me to remain calm?

Posted by: Atlantic Security Systems at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (gnl1m)

311 My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

___

Well, after two months with no Paulo?!?! F*ck it I'm game.

Posted by: Some Tewksbury Wine Mom at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (WdocV)

312 300 WeaselAcres is available to shelter out of work Victoria's Secret models.

Nah, they aren't firing the models just closing some of the stores. They started out a catalog business anyway, the stores were kinda dumb to open up in malls to begin with
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (KZzsI)
-------
Well my bubble has suffered a bracing decline in inflation.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (+c1jw)

313 Apes, monkeys and otters, on my.

Posted by: USNtakim at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (0OmEj)

314 >>>The Dark Knight wasn't the only thing that was rising.


Hey-O!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (AFSld)

315 270 So women are buying fewer bras now you say? At least we've got some good news....


Posted by: Obligatory at May 21, 2020 08:09 PM (WdocV)

---
Come back to the natural look....
Posted by: The 70s at May 21, 2020 08:13 PM (cfSRQ)

Seeing as how my dating pool is in the 50+ category?

No.

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (NgKpN)

316 Gooo awhaaaay monkey

Posted by: The Rock in The Rundown at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (V8zw+)

317 Because he did not jump in the middle of that situation, where guns were drawn.
We are off the rails folks.
Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (NgKpN)


To be fair, he could have saved one life so...

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (jnM20)

318 I do honestly remember when Atlantic was smart,
literate, fairly even handed, and thought-provoking. Its been a long
time though. over 25 years. Print is almost dead, as Egon predicted, but
they didn't have to hasten it by sucking and ramming hard left.



It's sucked since Michael Kelly died.

Posted by: Dave C at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (kyZdb)

---
First Things is brilliant. I just subscribed and the first two issues have been amazing. I thought such things no longer existed, but there it is.

Highly recommend.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (cfSRQ)

319 The leather messenger bag I use has multiple compartments. You could get pretty much any size handgun in each of the pockets- as long as you did not get too ridiculous. A full size 1911 fits fine with plenty of room for a spare magazine and anything else you might need in the back pocket.

I mean, hypothetically.


Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (A5zUN)

320
232
Keep joking, but I don't like fucking monkeys on the loose in my neighborhood.
Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (9DbOM)


More of a "do it behind the shrubbery" guy, are we?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (pNxlR)

321 Ann Hathaway isn't doing any award winning acting but she's okay and she's always beautiful. Somehow her eyes seem unusually large, like she's an anime character.

I wish she had not followed the "I'll do slutty movies to show I'm all grown up now" path though. I liked her better before then.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (KZzsI)

322 Got the grass cut before it rains tomorrow.

You have to take your victories where you find them.

Posted by: Cornelius at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (aFWbw)

323 >>>Wow, they just arrested the guy who FILMED the Arberry stuff, for murder.

Because he did not jump in the middle of that situation, where guns were drawn.


Murder??? That is insanity.
Posted by: Indiana Jones at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (AFSld)
------
Probably felony murder, which was explained to us by one of our legal Morons a few days ago.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, 1st Murder Hornet Squadron at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (4o2K3)

324 A few people here know the truth that I got the WAY better end of that deal!

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:17 PM (+c1jw)

Yeah, I knew as soon as you said WW that you HAD to have married up.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (XEfKE)

325 I hate fucking monkeys.
Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (yQpMk)

Might be time to think about stopping. No?
Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (/fsFg)

He can't get that monkey off his back.

Posted by: andycanuck at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (TQ/zJ)

326 296 Also, WeaselAcres is available to shelter out of work Victoria's Secret models. Just don't tell WW.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (+c1jw)

---
WEASEL! Why the hell do you keep visiting that shed? And where did you get that limp? What's this bulk order of Viagra doing here????
Posted by: Weasel Woman at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (cfSRQ)
-----
It's a small barn!

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (+c1jw)

327 292 LMAO...and sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob

Thanks Cannibal Bob. He died 5 years ago, had had some of his bank info stolen about 10 years before that. At least someone at the admin made a call to verify with my mom.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (G7bj9)

328 Victoria's Secret is having an underwear sale, panties are 7 for $30. and bras are on sale too.
___

In the future women won't even wear underwear.

Posted by: Something George Lucas told Carrie Fisher at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (WdocV)

329 >>>I wish she had not followed the "I'll do slutty movies to show I'm all grown up now" path though. I liked her better before then.


Princess Diaries. Nice film.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (AFSld)

330 Seeing as how my dating pool is in the 50+ category?
No.
Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (NgKpN)


Count your blessings!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (jnM20)

331 Off sock

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 08:20 PM (aFWbw)

332 >>> My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

I shit you not, it's loose in my area. Tewksbury, MA. Literally down the street.
Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (9DbOM)

Mass Hysteria!!!!
Posted by: Aetius451AD



No need to panic until you see them riding motorcycles.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 08:20 PM (BHYVd)

333 Just placed an order an hour ago. For all the 'ettes
Victoria's Secret is having an underwear sale, panties are 7 for $30. and bras are on sale too.
Posted by: redridinghood at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (wiXsO)

Come on, you know internet rules,

Pics or it didn't happen!

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:20 PM (NgKpN)

334 What happy news. Now if only the magazine would collapse altogether.

Posted by: Lulu at May 21, 2020 08:20 PM (C+We0)

335 332 >>> My local fake news says there's a fucking monkey on the loose!

I shit you not, it's loose in my area. Tewksbury, MA. Literally down the street.
Posted by: Al Qaeda at May 21, 2020 08:04 PM (9DbOM)

Mass Hysteria!!!!
Posted by: Aetius451AD



No need to panic until you see them riding motorcycles.
Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 08:20 PM (BHYVd)

Fucking Monkey?

Davey Jones?

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:20 PM (NgKpN)

336 No need to panic until you see them riding motorcycles.



But the fez is so cute.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (yQpMk)

337 Wow, they just arrested the guy who FILMED the Arberry stuff, for murder.



Because he did not jump in the middle of that situation, where guns were drawn.



We are off the rails folks.

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (NgKpN)

Murder? Insanity

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (rpqJl)

338 We're all in this together, as long as we stay apart, and listen to mommy governor, and stay apart, and wear a mask, and don't go outside it's dangerous, and listen to mommy governor, and practice social distancing, that goes along with stay apart. and listen to mommy governor, only he knows how to keep you safe, and we're all in this together, as long as we stay apart.

Really, stay apart, or we'll kill you.

This message brought to you by the committee to rule you forever. Seriously do what we tell you. We only want to keep you safe. Remember, we're all in this together, as long as we stay apart.

Posted by: BigZesty at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (otVBO)

339 Princess Diaries. Nice film.
___

Not gonna lie, spanked to that one.

Posted by: Paul Krugman at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (WdocV)

340 Trump wore a black mask with the Presidential seal on it in an area of the Ford plant that he was asked to by Ford officials and removed it and had it in his pocket to speak to reporters out where they are making PPE and ventilators which Ford officials said was fine.He showed the mask to reporters. Nessel is a nasty little busybody with delusions of grandeur.

Posted by: Jen the original at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (kyDpo)

341 Just placed an order an hour ago. For all the 'ettes
Victoria's Secret is having an underwear sale, panties are 7 for $30. and bras are on sale too.
Posted by: redridinghood at May 21, 2020 08:18 PM (wiXsO)


[insert bunk joke here]

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (L2ZTs)

342 Just don't tell WW.
Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM


Ok, but that will require exceptional growth in my treats and belly rubs.

And a bracing decline in my video acting workload.

Posted by: WeaselDog at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (DMUuz)

343 232
Keep joking, but I don't like fucking monkeys on the loose in my neighborhood.
Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (9DbOM)

Fucking a monkey on the loose. Now that would be a sight. Are you fast enough Sooth?

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (XEfKE)

344 At least the usual NeverTrump whores are gay for pay, Patterico just does it cause he likes it.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (H5knJ)

345 Oh boo hoo, their output is minimal, their wages should match.

Posted by: Gmac at May 21, 2020 08:22 PM (qZdIZ)

346 288
[creeps up on monkey]

Posted by: Otter at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (pK7cg)

Hello, police? I want to report an otter riding a monkey - they were not social distancing and neither were wearing masks?
Are you laughing? Are you laughing? what is your name and badge number - I want to talk to your supervisor!

Hello? Hello?

Posted by: Karen Empress of Nagging at May 21, 2020 08:22 PM (0QYMt)

347 So there's a chimp out?

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 08:22 PM (aFWbw)

348 No need to panic until you see them riding motorcycles.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 08:20 PM (BHYVd)

Its those horse riding gorillas you got to look out for, ask Bright Eyes, he'll tell ya.

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 08:22 PM (32YRo)

349 These NeverTrumpers have literally nowhere else to go.

Nextdoor has space between screeds about speeders and missing cats

Posted by: Jean at May 21, 2020 08:22 PM (Qpsn2)

350 Some news for any of you book morons in NH - Avenue Victor Hugo Books in Lee is open again, though only on Fridays and Saturdays for the nonce.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 08:23 PM (2JVJo)

351
Loose Monkey

https://tinyurl.com/ybvxf8eh

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:23 PM (9DbOM)

352 >>>So there's a chimp out?


There's a chimp... OUT.
She's naughty naughty, lettin' it all hang out...

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:23 PM (AFSld)

353 Trump wore a black mask with the Presidential seal on it in an area of the Ford plant that he was asked to by Ford officials

Very disappointing.

Schadenboner status : wilted[x]

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:23 PM (5Zt1F)

354 Posted by: WeaselDog at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (DMUuz)

You opportunistic dog you!

Posted by: ConorDog at May 21, 2020 08:23 PM (jnM20)

355 Nextdoor has space between screeds about speeders and missing cats
***

I saw one NextDoor Karen complaining about someone not coming to a complete stop at an intersection. After mentioning there was not stop (or even yield) sign at the intersection.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 21, 2020 08:24 PM (WdocV)

356 I think I need to investigate this monkey thing.... Mata?

Posted by: Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp at May 21, 2020 08:24 PM (PiwSw)

357 Thanks Cannibal Bob. He died 5 years ago, had had some of his bank info stolen about 10 years before that. At least someone at the admin made a call to verify with my mom.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:19 PM (G7bj9)

Gees. Ya hear that stuff but never think it can happen.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:24 PM (XEfKE)

358 343 232
Keep joking, but I don't like fucking monkeys on the loose in my neighborhood.
Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:10 PM (9DbOM)

Fucking a monkey on the loose. Now that would be a sight. Are you fast enough Sooth?
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (XEfKE)

/starts to sing

Here we come
running down your street
get the funniest looks from
everyone we meet

HEY HEY We're Fuckikng Monkeys

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:24 PM (NgKpN)

359 At least the usual NeverTrump whores are gay for pay, Patterico just does it cause he likes it.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (H5knJ)

Yup, he's the smartest idiot in idiotown, so he does it for the praise...that's Patterico.

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 08:24 PM (32YRo)

360 Why are we losing our jaaaabbbbbssss?


Fuck you, I explained.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 21, 2020 08:24 PM (+b1ew)

361
Really?

Trump orders flags to half-staff to honor coronavirus victims, fallen service members

https://tinyurl.com/y9cdsfg3

Posted by: YIKES! at May 21, 2020 08:25 PM (t6XCL)

362 Put Frum behind a paywall. That get the cheddah rolling in.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 21, 2020 08:25 PM (+b1ew)

363 Wow, I really love Tewksbury MA!

Posted by: Mickey Dolenz at May 21, 2020 08:25 PM (WdocV)

364 Why are we losing our jaaaabbbbbssss?
-----
Dey terk er jerbs!!

Posted by: Captain Obvious, 1st Murder Hornet Squadron at May 21, 2020 08:25 PM (4o2K3)

365 "Trump wore a black mask with the Presidential seal on it in an area of the Ford plant that he was asked to by Ford officials"


CBS Evening Liars had "breaking news"that Trump did not wear a mask at the factory.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:25 PM (Tnijr)

366 I'm guessing the McMichaels asked that guy to film them for defense purposes.

That makes him part of a conspiracy. Whether he knew what was intended or not (and surely was surprised by what did happen) he's in it.

Word of warning, approaching someone with a shotgun in hand is pretty much aggravated assault. Unless you are LEO OR the guy just stole something and is running away. (and maybe even then).

McMichaels as a LEO himself should've KNOWN this.

This is where arrogance and assumptions can get you where you didn't want to go.

First off, in rl you don't go waving firearms in peoples faces. This is NOT TV. Someone will try to jump you especially if they've spent their life in the streets and around some bad asses. Those guys were not prepared for a guy who didn't Give a f*ck.

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:26 PM (/fsFg)

367 342 Just don't tell WW.
Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM

Ok, but that will require exceptional growth in my treats and belly rubs.

And a bracing decline in my video acting workload.
Posted by: WeaselDog at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (DMUuz)
--------
We can call it a deal if you drop the agent and green room requirements!

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:26 PM (+c1jw)

368 Ace is right, though. They have bills to pay and a certain lifestyle to maintain for their wives, but NT is running out of venues to work at. And those billionaire leftists aren't going to pay to prop up lame newsletters for much longer.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:26 PM (KZzsI)

369 Nextdoor has space between screeds about speeders and missing cats
***

I saw one NextDoor Karen complaining about someone not coming to a complete stop at an intersection. After mentioning there was not stop (or even yield) sign at the intersection.
Posted by: 18-1

My wife won't let me post coyote reports on the missing cat threads

Posted by: Jean at May 21, 2020 08:27 PM (Qpsn2)

370 Nextdoor has space between screeds about speeders and missing cats

"Dear Karen,

We have your cat.

If you wish to receive him back unharmed, immediately delete your account here at Next-door.com.

If you continue to complain about your neighbors, you'll still receive your cat back, fried, chopped, boiled, sous vided, and sautéed.

Your choice.

Signed,

Your loving neighbors"

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2020 08:27 PM (L2ZTs)

371 >>>That makes him part of a conspiracy. Whether he knew what was intended or not (and surely was surprised by what did happen) he's in it.


Washington Examiner wrote if he's convicted he is eligible for the death penalty. Wow.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:27 PM (AFSld)

372 Trump wore a black mask with the Presidential seal on it in an area of the Ford plant that he was asked to by Ford officials

--

"In an area"? Anyone know if it's where employees are required to wear masks already?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:27 PM (ADuZP)

373 361
Really?

Trump orders flags to half-staff to honor coronavirus victims, fallen service members

https://tinyurl.com/y9cdsfg3
Posted by: YIKES! at May 21, 2020 08:25 PM (t6XCL)


I actually like that Trump tries to be a good president for everyone and not just one side of the spectrum.

Posted by: Emmie at May 21, 2020 08:28 PM (ouBhA)

374 Murder? Insanity
Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2020 08:21 PM (rpqJl)

Maybe an intentional overcharge to get the guy to rat out his pals?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 08:28 PM (Xmo7L)

375 We can call it a deal if you drop the agent and green room requirements!
Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:26 PM (+c1jw)

Who do you think I am? Benji? I am not your furred simp!

Green Room stays. We'll reduce the fee, it will come out of the agent's portion.

Posted by: WeaselDog at May 21, 2020 08:28 PM (A5zUN)

376 253 Visited my Internist today, in person. This is a widely respected Dr. that other doctors go to and has saved my butt twice. I've been going to him since 1975.


His advice to me was, that if suffering any symptoms of Covid-19 to go to the hospital that does instants tests, to call him day or night if positive and he would proscribe hydroxychloroquine and another drug that I can't recall. He volunteered the fact that he is taking the drug as a prophylactic, "Just like Donald Trump". I feel so much better.


Posted by: Javems at May 21, 2020 08:11 PM (ofIwF)

----

I hope he doesn't make that confession to the wrong person. The Progressive Screech Brigade would try to destroy him.

Hydroxy Chloriquine is being used in India as a prophylaxis for medical staff and anyone exposed to a Chinese Coronavirus infected person. They give it to their spouse and caregivers.

They offerd it to the 10,000 person Mumbai Police Department. 4,500 took it, no deaths, but some minor positive cases. 5,500 didn't, nine deaths more illnesses.

Parts of India's Medical staff has been using it as a prophylaxis since March.

But what would those dirty wogs know, said the learned Progressives.

Posted by: rd at May 21, 2020 08:28 PM (+0uDE)

377 And those billionaire leftists aren't going to pay to prop up lame newsletters for much longer.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:26 PM (KZzsI)
-----
Time to start looking for cheap mimeograph machines.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, 1st Murder Hornet Squadron at May 21, 2020 08:28 PM (4o2K3)

378 337 Wow, they just arrested the guy who FILMED the Arberry stuff, for murder.



Because he did not jump in the middle of that situation, where guns were drawn.



We are off the rails folks.

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:16 PM (NgKpN)

The FBI has a warrant out for Abraham Zapruder

for the assassination of JFK

Posted by: REDACTED at May 21, 2020 08:28 PM (UUUON)

379 Trump orders flags to half-staff to honor coronavirus victims, fallen service members

--

Yeah, it's meaningless these days. NC's is down more than it's up, and no one notices anymore. Yay.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:29 PM (ADuZP)

380 Those guys were not prepared for a guy who didn't Give a f*ck.
Posted by: jakee308

Actually they were, and reacted quickly. Filming it, bad idea.

Posted by: Jean at May 21, 2020 08:29 PM (Qpsn2)

381 Gees. Ya hear that stuff but never think it can happen.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob

Mom and I had a good laugh about it. "Dad's elaborate scheme to fake his death and continue on living but just needed a little more cash." I'm glad he isnt around to see how far WA state has gone to the dogs.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:29 PM (G7bj9)

382 I inadvertently clicked on a HotAir piece at Insty.

However, it was Ed Morrissey calling out GQ for saying George Wallace was...yes...a Republican.

The guy was running for the Democratic nomination all the way up to 1976 for crying out loud. This is not hard, you know nothing dipshits.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 21, 2020 08:29 PM (JCrfD)

383
My wife won't let me post coyote reports on the missing cat threads


*14 yr old Glenmorangie through the nose*

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:29 PM (5Zt1F)

384 in lifestyle to maintain for their wives, but NT is running out of venues to work at. And those billionaire leftists aren't going to pay to prop up lame newsletters for much longer.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:26 PM (KZzsI)

November is the cut-off month, one way or the other.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Join The Masquerade with Quality Facial Wear from The Outrage Outlet! at May 21, 2020 08:30 PM (0QYMt)

385 "Sadly, I believe many (not all) of the people who will be let go are in the events, sales and marketing teams - not the journalists.."

So just the Little Eichmanns then.

Posted by: Fen at May 21, 2020 08:30 PM (WE806)

386 "Yeah, it's meaningless these days. NC's is down more than it's up, and no one notices anymore"

You'd think Trump would be more aware of the flag code but he does have shitty advisors.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:30 PM (Tnijr)

387 However, it was Ed Morrissey calling out GQ for saying George Wallace was...yes...a Republican.

--

All the smart people know this, dumbass. It's why modern Republicans celebrate FDR's accomplishments and modern Democrats look back to Coolidge with such admiration.

Duh. Read a book, loser.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:31 PM (ADuZP)

388 383
My wife won't let me post coyote reports on the missing cat threads

*14 yr old Glenmorangie through the nose*
Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:29 PM (5Zt1F)

Lived on a green belt in Denver. Had a Coyote who lived out in the South 40 down the block a bit.

Dog and him used to stare each other down as the Coyote would trot by outside the fence.

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2020 08:31 PM (NgKpN)

389

W, WW, WD are treasures and part of what makes the HQ worth returning to despite the dickheads and pearl clutchers....

Posted by: Ped Xing at May 21, 2020 08:31 PM (qew/l)

390 I get the "learn to code" thing. I just hope no one ever takes it seriously.

I don't want these smug Dunning-Kruger prigs anywhere near the code that runs my bank account, or my car, or the heart monitor that's keeping me alive in the hospital.

Yep, Dave C, it looks Steve Jobs' trophy wife got tired of pouring money down that particular rathole.

Our local communist rag is under new ownership once again, after the previous owner's now-ex-husband got tired of funding her hobby "newspaper".

The new owners didn't fire all the communist reporters and replace them, though, so I'm sure it's only a matter of time until it's on the auction block again.

Maybe sooner or later someone will buy it who understands it's fucking stupid to run a communist newspaper in a conservative/libertarian state.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (mNq/0)

391 You'd think Trump would be more aware of the flag code but he does have shitty advisors.
Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:30 PM (Tnijr)


Oh for an honest person in government service...

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (jnM20)

392 Time to start looking for cheap mimeograph machines.

OOH, can I run them? I loved the hand-cranked one we had in our little 4-room country elementary school. It smelled so good.

That's one bit in Fast Times at Ridgemont High young people don't appreciate these days.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (KZzsI)

393 Duuude. Scientist say moar weed to prevent and treat bat flu...is there nothing Wonderweed can't do?

Posted by: A dude in MI at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (/6GbT)

394 Don't worry, Atlantic. Eventually, when things get back to normal, people will scramble to not read your articles.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (+b1ew)

395 369 Nextdoor has space between screeds about speeders and missing cats
***

I saw one NextDoor Karen complaining about someone not coming to a complete stop at an intersection. After mentioning there was not stop (or even yield) sign at the intersection.
Posted by: 18-1

My wife won't let me post coyote reports on the missing cat threads
Posted by: Jean

me and the neighbors are currently carrying out a capture and spay operation on the cat lady next door.
so far, 27 captured, 25 spayed (two were already spayed but cat lady doesn't chip or clip the ears), 6 kittens in foster homes. about 2 dozen more to go. there would be hundreds soon if we didn't act. cat lady is pissed. fuck her.

Posted by: x at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (nFwvY)

396 >>>despite the dickheads and pearl clutchers....


My ears are burning!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (AFSld)

397

Dial M for Monkey

https://tinyurl.com/ybr79npq

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (aKsyK)

398 That's another masculine scent for cologne makers: mimeograph ink. Smell like that, she'll love to snuggle up to you.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:33 PM (KZzsI)

399 Of course they make everything from underwear to umbrellas that look like a US flag nowadays so no one gives a shit.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:33 PM (Tnijr)

400 While we're on this topic, can we all root for Buzzfeed Ben Smith to be homeless soon? POS helped start the coup and he's still gainfully employed.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:34 PM (AFSld)

401 Don't watch Janice Dean on Tucker if you have BP or heart issues.


Or excessive ammo and burning desire to unleash it.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:34 PM (5Zt1F)

402 Ace is right, though. They have bills to pay and a
certain lifestyle to maintain for their wives, but NT is running out of
venues to work at. And those billionaire leftists aren't going to pay
to prop up lame newsletters for much longer.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:26 PM (KZzsI)

---
Various filings have indicated that Jonah Goldberg pulls down mid-six figures in income.

Yeah, a neopotist legacy hire who makes stale Simpsons jokes get north of half a mil.

Thing is, I bet he doesn't save much of it. That big house, the au pair, the nice cars, etc. all add up.

So if that gravy train dries up, he's going to have to move out of the Beltway, because you know he's living at the limit of his credit.

This is why there is so much incandescent rage from these people.

They imagined they were going to live the good life, and now, horribly, inexplicably, they might have to go back to being middle class.

The horror. The horror.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:34 PM (cfSRQ)

403 Mom and I had a good laugh about it. "Dad's elaborate scheme to fake his death and continue on living but just needed a little more cash." I'm glad he isnt around to see how far WA state has gone to the dogs.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:29 PM (G7bj9)

I think that too. My dad would shake his head in disgust...as he did with me a few times when i became a stupid college kid and tried to get his mind right. Cause i was so smart...and all... Lol.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 21, 2020 08:34 PM (XEfKE)

404 Ace is single-handedly going to run these Never-Trumpers off the cliff and into the dustbin of history. He deserves the Presidential Medal of Freedom for doing so...

Posted by: DBCooper at May 21, 2020 08:34 PM (y1Mvi)

405 You'd think Trump would be more aware of the flag code but he does have shitty advisors.

--

NC will drop it for state employees, politicians, and service members that were either born in NC or stationed here.

So yeah, people who give a sh*t about the flag notice days when it's up more than when it's down. Ain't that something?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:34 PM (ADuZP)

406 But the fez is so cute.
Posted by: Grump928(c)


can I haz fez?

Posted by: Miklos with a hookah at May 21, 2020 08:35 PM (QzkSJ)

407 Christopher R Taylor

Toluene is not a smell to activate amore. Ask me how I know.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 08:35 PM (u82oZ)

408 They're lining up the guy who filmed it to give them inside info on attitudes and language of the McMichaels before the incedent. (you know the "n" word and such).

I'm guessing he's just a shlub that knew these guys and they talked him into videoing them stopping Arbery.

He will not stand up and will give the DA any juicy tidbits as to mental state of the McMicheals before (days/weeks before) and after the event.

Anything they thought they might be able to hide from investigators (if there is any) is now going to be found out.

And that's how you roll a witness. Nothing like a real live body up there testifying to the nasty attitudes and demeanor of guys who were about to commit murder.

Juries lap it up. It's better than a tape recording. (not by much but you can't ask a tape questions for effect)

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:35 PM (/fsFg)

409 Duh. Read a book, loser.

Addendum: There should've been a huge sarc tag there in case it wasn't obvious.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:35 PM (ADuZP)

410 You may have heard about the layoffs here at the Atlantic, and you may have thought to yourself "Good! They used to be a good magazine, but now they just suck." But you're wrong. You see,

"Just a minute, Bill, I'm writing an article. What? A 5 minute meeting with HR? Why? OK, I'm coming, I'm coming. But I want to get back to this article soon, it's going to be great."

...

Posted by: Atlantic Employee #67 at May 21, 2020 08:36 PM (dOV9E)

411
W, WW, WD are treasures and part of what makes the HQ worth returning to despite the dickheads and pearl clutchers....
Posted by: Ped Xing at May 21, 2020 08:31 PM (qew/l
----
Thanks! We have pearl clutchers?

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:36 PM (MVjcR)

412 " it was Ed Morrissey calling out GQ for saying George Wallace was...yes...a Republican."

This is what the passive risk aversion of NeverTrumpers leads to - an impotent defence of positions that never should have been in place to begin with.

And it's a typical tactic the Left uses: tie up the Right with arguments that water isn't wet so they can't move on anything of consequence.

It think the Kristol debate over what defines a sandwich was just a preview.

Posted by: Fen at May 21, 2020 08:36 PM (WE806)

413 Good riddance.

It can't happen fast enough.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2020 08:36 PM (Z+IKu)

414 I get the "learn to code" thing. I just hope no one ever takes it seriously.


***

We give you good code make nice for security your bank account!

Posted by: Ganeesh Mahfoodabanav - Senior Coding Programmer #234 on H2B1 Visa at May 21, 2020 08:36 PM (+dsLj)

415 Toluene is not a smell to activate amore. Ask me how I know.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 08:35 PM (u82oZ)


It's good for cleaning up the crime scene after.

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:37 PM (/fsFg)

416 > So if that gravy train dries up, he's going to have to move out of the Beltway

Lucianne probably still has his old room ready, complete with footy pajamas and a cup of hot cocoa.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:37 PM (mNq/0)

417

Learn to Choad...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 21, 2020 08:37 PM (s2VJv)

418 And that's how you roll a witness.
___

Wait a minute....the instruction manual says you give them immunity, a rim job, and THEN ask nicely. What the hell are you on?

Posted by: Chris Wray at May 21, 2020 08:37 PM (WdocV)

419 So just the Little Eichmanns then.
Posted by: Fen



Mmmmm



Eichenman's Little Bites

Posted by: Miklos in the Break Barrel at May 21, 2020 08:37 PM (QzkSJ)

420 edit

positions that never should have been in PLAY to begin with.

Like having to rescue Kavanaugh from being burnt at the stake. His nomination should have been a gimme put.

Posted by: Fen at May 21, 2020 08:37 PM (WE806)

421 "They're lining up the guy who filmed it to give them inside info on attitudes and language of the McMichaels before the incedent."

And as a warning to anyone who might consider something similar in the future. Destroying the guys life to teach us a lesson.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:37 PM (Tnijr)

422 398
That's another masculine scent for cologne makers: mimeograph ink. Smell like that, she'll love to snuggle up to you.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:33 PM (KZzsI)

---
Cordite mingled with axle grease.

Southern girls will openly agree, but northern ones will lie about it.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:37 PM (cfSRQ)

423 Toluene is not a smell to activate amore. Ask me how I know.

-

I have to sleep on the couch whenever I handle gear oil or change brake fluid.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:38 PM (ADuZP)

424 "We're all in this together."

Chief sending hunters out for lion meat.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at May 21, 2020 08:38 PM (e1mEI)

425 Ditto paper fumes!


Wow, that's a blast from the past.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Join The Masquerade with Quality Facial Wear from The Outrage Outlet! at May 21, 2020 08:38 PM (0QYMt)

426 Damn, Tucker just had Janice Dean on, who lost both her inlaws to Covid within 2 weeks of each other. Cuomo should be drawn and quartered.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 21, 2020 08:38 PM (dUJdY)

427 "What exactly is it that you DO here?"

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:38 PM (/fsFg)

428 "These NeverTrumpers have literally nowhere else to go."

Seth Mandel offered them all jobs at the washington examiner mag...

"To all those hit by the layoffs: Please feel free to pitch us. We publish features on everything from politics to puzzles and have the strongest, most eclectic life & arts section in any national mag. And ask the non-righties who write for us regularly: we don't bite! Reach out."

Posted by: lymond at May 21, 2020 08:39 PM (Jvjtu)

429 If anyone wants a sample of what The Atlantic used to be, way back when, do a web search for "As We May Think" by Vannevar Bush.

1954. The dude thought up a web-like hypertext system in 1954.

Albeit his used rolls of microfilm rather than computer files, the basic idea was there.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:40 PM (mNq/0)

430
Dexter's Lab was good.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 08:40 PM (9DbOM)

431 Its hilarious, they did a study of the scents women found the sexiest on men, and like baby powder and candy won out. How that translates into urge to breed to women I do not know.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:40 PM (KZzsI)

432 "have the strongest, most eclectic life & arts section in any national mag."

Sounds ghey. I bet they have articles on the art of shaving your balls.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (Tnijr)

433 Stay home, get fucked.

Posted by: jbspry at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (8V4Sv)

434 Cordite mingled with axle grease.

Southern girls will openly agree, but northern ones will lie about it.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAQv1pxrpy4

Posted by: Miklos "Bubba" Molnar at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (QzkSJ)

435 On the bright side, UPS and FedEx are looking for drivers, due to their booming service increases by online shopping.

At least it lets you get outside, meet people, and get your thoughts together before you commit them to the word-processor. Traffic sucks, tho...


Posted by: Pinochet Air Lines Flt. Attendant at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (q9+CU)

436 Delivered a nice written request to neighbors to shut their dogs THE FUCK UP.

How many more steps are left between this and flinging Quaaludes wrapped in bacon over the fence?

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (5Zt1F)

437 Some medical advice: If you have trouble Dispatching your Bulwark, eat more fiber.

Posted by: Bill Kristol at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (dOV9E)

438 Sounds ghey. I bet they have articles on the art of shaving your balls.
Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (Tnijr)
------
I hear it's breathtaking.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, 1st Murder Hornet Squadron at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (4o2K3)

439 Stay home, get fucked.

Posted by: jbspry at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (8V4Sv)



Someone is not practicing Social Distancing.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (CcOog)

440 >>Doesn't that automatically make it a range bag?


Yep - If your Range goes from Cock Curious to Definitely Cock Interested.

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 08:42 PM (a+G5Z)

441 > How that translates into urge to breed to women I do not know.

Baby powder I can sort of understand.

Brain:

"Smell like baby. Me no have baby. Me want baby. Man here. Man can give baby."

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:42 PM (mNq/0)

442 Upcoming in the Atlantic, " The reason living under a bridge is good for the environment"

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 08:42 PM (g/u4p)

443 431 Its hilarious, they did a study of the scents women found the sexiest on men, and like baby powder and candy won out. How that translates into urge to breed to women I do not know.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:40 PM (KZzsI)


It does explain how Brian Stelter reproduced...

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 21, 2020 08:42 PM (PiwSw)

444 If anyone wants a sample of what The Atlantic used to be, way back when, do a web search for "As We May Think" by Vannevar Bush.

-

"We believe comments can be bad for science. That's why we're closing our comment section."

- Popular Science

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:42 PM (ADuZP)

445 Thanks! We have pearl clutchers?
Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:36 PM (MVjcR)

Notice he does not ask about assholes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:42 PM (A5zUN)

446 431 Its hilarious, they did a study of the scents women found the sexiest on men, and like baby powder and candy won out. How that translates into urge to breed to women I do not know.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:40 PM (KZzsI)


Oh boy! Oh boy! Here I come! Say hello to my little friend!

Posted by: Brian Stelter at May 21, 2020 08:42 PM (dOV9E)

447 I think that too. My dad would shake his head in disgust...as he did with me a few times when i became a stupid college kid and tried to get his mind right. Cause i was so smart...and all... Lol.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob

Your father did well, CB.

Posted by: Rex B at May 21, 2020 08:42 PM (G7bj9)

448 Starbucks is hiring,yea?

Posted by: BluesFish at May 21, 2020 08:43 PM (WQZ1O)

449 Stay home, get fucked.
Posted by: jbspry at May 21, 2020 08:41 PM (8V4Sv)


If only.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 08:43 PM (2JVJo)

450 I need to start a magazine that champions the Constitution, firearms, hard work, family, God and what a great country we live in as well as tips on how to avoid government entanglements while increasing your wealth and sexual prowess.

A man can dream.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2020 08:43 PM (Z+IKu)

451 GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter

That's my line: "No More Social Distancing!" Then pounce.

Or chase her around the living room with a pair of ice tongs yelling Piranha. One or the other.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 08:43 PM (u82oZ)

452 Shaving your balls is not what it's cracked up to be.

It's not like women when they shave their bits. That's hot.

Razor burn, nicks and such in an area of sweat and heat is not conducive for feeling fresh and comfortable.

Plus after a while there's the stubble and that itches like crazy.

I had a legitimate reason for doing so and I will never ever do that again.

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:43 PM (/fsFg)

453 >>>Notice he does not ask about assholes.


Again, I'm right here!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:43 PM (AFSld)

454 >>>I had a legitimate reason for doing so and I will never ever do that again.


The En-Snippening?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 21, 2020 08:44 PM (AFSld)

455 Dexter's Lab was good.
Posted by: Soothsayer,


Dexter's accent was a combination of Hungarian and Swedish.

Posted by: Miklos, figuring DeeDee is all growed up now at May 21, 2020 08:44 PM (QzkSJ)

456 Its hilarious, they did a study of the scents women found the sexiest on men, and like baby powder and candy won out.

-

My wife *LURVS* the smell of baby shampoo. Apparently she's not alone. The hypothesis is that a particular act ultimately leads to the requirement for baby shampoo, and we don't have a baby, so there is a drive to engage in said act in order to produce required baby.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:44 PM (ADuZP)

457 Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing

We discussed a GoFund Me for your needs a while back. Do we need to dress one up as a Gibson Girl? I hear that costs extra.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 08:45 PM (u82oZ)

458 Some guy from The Atlantic called. I told him we already got two.

Posted by: Two Men and a Truck at May 21, 2020 08:45 PM (sWM8x)

459 WeaselWoman, is the loveliest person you will ever meet.

Bacon Wench qualifications aside.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 08:46 PM (g/u4p)

460 Its hilarious, they did a study of the scents women
found the sexiest on men, and like baby powder and candy won out. How
that translates into urge to breed to women I do not know.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:40 PM (KZzsI)

---
Baby powder says: man who will create and care for children, duh.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:46 PM (cfSRQ)

461 "426 Damn, Tucker just had Janice Dean on, who lost both her inlaws to Covid within 2 weeks of each other. Cuomo should be drawn and quartered."

Other than AoSHQ and Tucker, I haven't read or heard a word about this horrific scandal, which means the propaganda outlets are doing their real job (except for the people formerly at The Atlantic and other places, who are staying at home now because we are all in this together).

Flatten the curve, motherfucking former propaganda whores, flatten the curve.

Posted by: Trump poisoned my cat at May 21, 2020 08:46 PM (puu6v)

462 452 Shaving your balls is not what it's cracked up to be.

It's not like women when they shave their bits. That's hot.

Razor burn, nicks and such in an area of sweat and heat is not conducive for feeling fresh and comfortable.

Plus after a while there's the stubble and that itches like crazy.

I had a legitimate reason for doing so and I will never ever do that again.
Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:43 PM (/fsFg)


Yeah, you need to strop that straight razor about 30 times on each side, very gently, on a leather belt, before you proceed. I am not asking about the "legitimate reason" because I do not want the answer in my head.

Posted by: Splunge at May 21, 2020 08:46 PM (dOV9E)

463 > I had a legitimate reason for doing so and I will never ever do that again.

Remember the Epilady? A kind of rotating spring thingie that ripped the hairs out by the roots?

Many years ago, a friend of mine was getting a vasectomy, and was ordered to shave first. He spotted his wife's Epilady, and, not fully understanding its mode of action, though "Hmm... designed for women, must be very gentle."

That experiment ended very quickly.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:46 PM (mNq/0)

464 458 Some guy from The Atlantic called. I told him we already got two.
Posted by: Two Men and a Truck at May 21, 2020 08:45 PM (sWM8x)


I'd tell him thanks, but I've got the Pacific, just outside.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 08:46 PM (VpTlZ)

465 459 WeaselWoman, is the loveliest person you will ever meet.

Bacon Wench qualifications aside.
Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 08:46 PM (g/u4p)
--------
Poor decision making skills, tho.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:47 PM (MVjcR)

466 Baby powder says: man who will create and care for children, duh.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H.


Keep your powder dry, and don't shoot until.... well, you know.

Posted by: Miklos, Order of the Day (at night too) at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (QzkSJ)

467 I think you guys are over thinking the baby powder smell.

The women's are just grateful that it doesn't smell like ass down there or a ten day old dead fish.

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (/fsFg)

468 My wife *LURVS* the smell of baby shampoo. Apparently she's not alone. The hypothesis is that a particular act ultimately leads to the requirement for baby shampoo, and we don't have a baby, so there is a drive to engage in said act in order to produce required baby.

One wonders about the smell of Vaseline.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (2JVJo)

469 456
Its hilarious, they did a study of the scents women found the sexiest on men, and like baby powder and candy won out.
--------------------

Forget the pop psychology about reminding women of a baby. The truth is it's because that smells like a man already in a committed relationship.

Posted by: ... at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (li+1I)

470 398 That's another masculine scent for cologne makers: mimeograph ink. Smell like that, she'll love to snuggle up to you.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:33 PM

Only if she is over 50, Christopher.

Posted by: TXMarko at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (UZv16)

471 I'd tell him thanks, but I've got the Pacific, just outside.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 08:46 PM (VpTlZ)

---
Moose out front should have told him.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (cfSRQ)

472 There WILL be a Texas MoMe come Oct.

My word as a Moron.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (g/u4p)

473 I shaved my balls before they neutered me.

Sexy.

And then the hair grew back.

I was rubbing against cinder blocks fercrissakes.

Don't do it.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (aFWbw)

474 I got a call today from the Fraternal order of Police asking for money to support the Police. I asked 'You men the ones arresting business owners for trying to feed their families?'
He didn't have much to say...

Posted by: DBCooper at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (y1Mvi)

475 Half the money spent on advertising is wasted. The problem is we don't know which half. Hahahaha

Now we do: both halves!

Posted by: Regular joe at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (L9P9s)

476

In-Person events were big business for this trashrag?

Well, I guess wishing everyone gets covid wasn't a smart fucking business move.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. E Buzz Miller, Lesbian at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (lg/F7)

477 Remember the Epilady? A kind of rotating spring thingie that ripped the hairs out by the roots?

Many years ago, a friend of mine was getting a vasectomy, and was ordered to shave first. He spotted his wife's Epilady, and, not fully understanding its mode of action, though "Hmm... designed for women, must be very gentle."

That experiment ended very quickly.


Wouldn't it have been easier to lather up with Nair?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (2JVJo)

478 ♪ ♫ Ben Had ♪ ♬

She is an excellent bacon wench, I agree. But how can you measure a smile and a heart as big as Texas? I do not have calibrated instruments for that.

But you rate. Just saying.

{{{......Ben Had......}}}

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (u82oZ)

479 472 There WILL be a Texas MoMe come Oct.

My word as a Moron.
Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (g/u4p)
------
I'm right there with you, sister!

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (MVjcR)

480 Ripped out pubes are bracing.

Posted by: eleven at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (QLPEO)

481 'You mean' damn phone...

Posted by: DBCooper at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (y1Mvi)

482 Pro Trip: Trim, trim never shave your nether regions.



Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2020 08:50 PM (Z+IKu)

483 Forget the pop psychology about reminding women of a
baby. The truth is it's because that smells like a man already in a
committed relationship.


Posted by: ... at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (li+1I)

---
With children.

Which is catnip to the "ticking biological clock" demographic.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:50 PM (cfSRQ)

484 A mandrill with a man drill?

Posted by: Head Monkey at May 21, 2020 08:50 PM (gnl1m)

485 There WILL be a Texas MoMe come Oct.
My word as a Moron.
Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (g/u4p)


Hoping, I do not have to rent an RV and drive there with Conor!

You will be providing masks, right?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:50 PM (jnM20)

486 Its hilarious, they did a study of the scents women found the sexiest on men, and like baby powder and candy won out. How that translates into urge to breed to women I do not know.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:40 PM (KZzsI)

So if I roll around in baby powder and crushed Sweettarts it'll help me get laid?

Well...worth a try.

Posted by: Robert at May 21, 2020 08:51 PM (10g3T)

487 474 I got a call today from the Fraternal order of Police asking for money to support the Police. I asked 'You men the ones arresting business owners for trying to feed their families?'
He didn't have much to say...
Posted by: DBCooper at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (y1Mvi)

Like that. That's what I want to drop.

How to Make No Fucking Friends.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 08:51 PM (aFWbw)

488 > I got a call today from the Fraternal order of Police asking for money to support the Police.

Those are almost always scam callers anyway.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:51 PM (mNq/0)

489 There WILL be a Texas MoMe come Oct.

My word as a Moron.


Thank the Lord. I cannot wait to see everyone and especially you Ben!

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 21, 2020 08:51 PM (dUJdY)

490 The truth is it's because that smells like a man already in a

committed relationship.


Posted by: ... at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (li+1I)


---
With children.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:50 PM (cfSRQ
--------------------------------

Wait, are we talking about Joe Biden here?

Posted by: ... at May 21, 2020 08:52 PM (li+1I)

491 Dear Atlantic Editor,

I just got my online journalism degree. I heard about the layoffs and just wanted to throw my hat into the ring for one of those primo jobs that opened up.

My bona fides are I was President pro team of our auto club and put out a biannual two page newsletter. I was also editor in chief of the local laundromat advert, so I also have experience in advertising.

About myself. I like moonlit walks in the deep dark forest. I also like the feeling of old cigarette ashes rubbed on my back. My hobbies are collecting Dung Beetles and killing Stink Bugs.

I hope you will give my application and resume the attention it deserves.

Posted by: Traveling Man Who's Stuck At Home&&&& at May 21, 2020 08:52 PM (8nUpF)

492 Brock Mandrill

Posted by: My porn name at May 21, 2020 08:52 PM (QLPEO)

493 Baby powder was taken off the market yesterday.
Claimants say it causes ovarian cancer.

So of course that would be some women's favorite scent. Good Lord.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at May 21, 2020 08:52 PM (8IOEj)

494 So if I roll around in baby powder and crushed Sweettarts it'll help me get laid?



Well...worth a try.

Posted by: Robert at May 21, 2020 08:51 PM (10g3T)

---
And a wedding ring.

I knew a guy who got divorced, was used to wearing it by habit and kept doing so because he did better with it on than with it off.

Women are weird.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (cfSRQ)

495 Forget the pop psychology about reminding women of a baby. The truth is it's because that smells like a man already in a committed relationship.

Posted by: ... at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (li+1I)

--

That's a great observation.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (ADuZP)

496 Da FUQ?

While we are temporarily pausing home purchasing due to the impact of COVID-19 and public health orders, our team is here to help you sell. Submit a request to:Zillow

Does anybody want to make MONEY anymore?

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (5Zt1F)

497 Baby powder was taken off the market yesterday.
Claimants say it causes ovarian cancer.

Muff Snuff : Not Even Once

Posted by: garrett at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (XcwnU)

498 The truth is it's because that smells like a man already in a committed relationship.

Posted by: ... at May 21, 2020 08:48 PM (li+1I)

Now there's a thing. Women are attracted more to a man who has a woman than one who does not. (unless he's very rich, very handsome, has a verified 10" joy stick)

I got more flirts when going with someone than not. I don't know what it's like as the men and women thing has changed a lot since my days of pursuit.

It was surprising and somewhat disconcerting. It's no wonder so many men "cheat".

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (/fsFg)

499 Hrothgar, Road Trip!

Masks? No such thing at the Texas MoMe and NO social distancing.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (g/u4p)

500 Here's a citation from the City of Chicago for disorderly conduct by a church.

https://tinyurl.com/y9lsqtfw

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (Tnijr)

501 > Women are weird.

No different from any other animal.

Ever see a litter of puppies eating out of multiple bowls? They'll somehow decide that one of them is the "good" bowl and all try to eat out of that one.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:54 PM (mNq/0)

502 Browsing the fabric softener aisle will do the trick, too.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:54 PM (ADuZP)

503 493 Baby powder was taken off the market yesterday.
Claimants say it causes ovarian cancer.


Huh? Where are they using the baby powder? Or do I not want to know?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 08:54 PM (VpTlZ)

504 Wait, are we talking about Joe Biden here?


Posted by: ... at May 21, 2020 08:52 PM (li+1I)

---
No, Hunter. Try to keep up.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:54 PM (cfSRQ)

505 Posted by: DBCooper at May 21, 2020 08:49 PM (y1Mvi)

I got a call from the VA State Police Association asking for a few bucks. I said I'd really like to contribute but the infanticidal gun grabbing lame excuse we have for a governor in Virginia has effectively closed my business, bankrupted me, and I am worried about being able to feed my family this weekend!

He hung up!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 08:55 PM (jnM20)

506 Do not use freedom if you are allergic to freedom.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - The left tells me Trump has saved 2 million people since January at May 21, 2020 08:55 PM (ADuZP)

507 Smell like baby. Me no have baby. Me want baby. Man here. Man can give baby.

Candy might be in the same category, but probably only for women who have had kids before. The scent of White Claw and Red Bull seems to be the trick to younger women, from what I've seen.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:56 PM (KZzsI)

508 NaCly, I always feel a hug when I talk to you.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 08:56 PM (g/u4p)

509 Deplorable Jay Guevara

Due ti 18,000 lawsuits. About talc, IIRC. More proof science teaching is dead.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 08:56 PM (u82oZ)

510 Baby powder was taken off the market yesterday.
Claimants say it causes ovarian cancer.


Yeah that makes sense. Its been used for 140 years and now suddenly its deadly? Somehow I'm filled with doubt.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (KZzsI)

511 Baby powder was taken off the market yesterday.
Claimants say it causes ovarian cancer.

So of course that would be some women's favorite scent. Good Lord.


Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at May 21, 2020 08:52 PM (8IOEj)
------------------------------------

They took the talc version of baby powder off the market.

The baking soda version is still being sold.

Talc has some health issues if you inhale.

Posted by: Boots at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (oGBso)

512 Gold Bond makes my boys tingle.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (aFWbw)

513 It's amazing - when I look at the "Headlines" at HotGas, invariably the most stupid articles are from the Atlantic.

Where are the angry articles demanding that Steve Job's widow continue to subsidize the magazine to keep everyone employed?

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (I2/tG)

514 Ben Had

Please let me know when it is too much. Don't want to cause problems.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (u82oZ)

515 Yeah, I had heard about the talc thing. I am guessing Gold Bond has talc in it as well?

Going to be a lot of chafing, pissed off old people.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (A5zUN)

516 Now there's a thing. Women are attracted more to a man who has a woman than one who does not. (unless he's very rich, very handsome, has a verified 10" joy stick)

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (/fsFg)


It's because women figure the guy's been vetted by another woman, and so is unlikely to be an Ed Gein wannabe.

It's why it's much easier to get a job when you've already got one, than if you don't.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (VpTlZ)

517 Candy might be in the same category, but probably
only for women who have had kids before. The scent of White Claw and
Red Bull seems to be the trick to younger women, from what I've seen.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:56 PM (KZzsI)

---
Hoppe's No. 9.

Maybe the appeal isn't as widespread, but the women who like it are definitely keepers.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (cfSRQ)

518 Remember the Epilady? A kind of rotating spring thingie that ripped the hairs out by the roots?

--

My sister had one. We both called it Epitorture.

Posted by: Lady in Black at May 21, 2020 08:58 PM (O+I8R)

519 Wait. What happened to Steve Jobs?

Posted by: My porn name at May 21, 2020 08:58 PM (QLPEO)

520 I knew a guy who got divorced, was used to wearing it by habit and kept doing so because he did better with it on than with it off.

I know I got more attention when i was with a girl than without. I think its a combo of three things.

1) competitiveness: I'm better than that bitch, let me show you!
2) quality: if he's good enough to get her, then maybe he's good enough for me!
3) safety: I can flirt with this one, he's taken and won't get too carried away

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:58 PM (KZzsI)

521 I predict the nevertrumper fake repubs are gonna get the ass handed to them after the election. They may also get a thanks, suckers email. So that's nice.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at May 21, 2020 08:59 PM (r+sAi)

522 the founders knew that most people will not fight for liberty.

Most humans are quite satisfied to be lead around as long as certain desires are satisfied or the opportunity to satisfy them is there.

They don't want to think too hard or make judgments. Investigate to find the facts of a situation.

This is why the Revolutionary war was fought by a minority of the citizens. Sure some of them may have helped but from the sounds of the privations the Army went thru somehow I doubt the degree.

This is a fact of the human species and it's not specific to any ethnicity or race or country.

Posted by: jakee308 at May 21, 2020 08:59 PM (/fsFg)

523 505- CH. good for you saying that. That's horrible. F the Coonman

Posted by: DBCooper at May 21, 2020 08:59 PM (y1Mvi)

524 Baby powder was taken off the market yesterday.
Claimants say it causes ovarian cancer.

So of course that would be some women's favorite scent. Good Lord.
Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at May 21, 2020 08:52 PM (8IOEj)

Well, you have to use the stuff made from real babies. That Chinese shit with the melamine is bad news.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 08:59 PM (Xmo7L)

525 Baby powder was taken off the market yesterday.
Claimants say it causes ovarian cancer.


Sounds like the Roundup bullshit.

How would the talc get ... you know ...?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 08:59 PM (VpTlZ)

526 Remember the Epilady? A kind of rotating spring thingie that ripped the hairs out by the roots?

I'll give it this: it did look incredibly effective. I bet you didn't grow hair there for weeks after ripping them all out with a spring.

Talc has some health issues if you inhale.

Well no kidding, so do dice and battery acid. You're not supposed to be huffing the stuff.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 09:00 PM (KZzsI)

527 Please let me know when it is too much. Don't want to cause problems.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 08:57 PM (u82oZ)


Don't make me come over there!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:00 PM (jnM20)

528 Babies have ovaries?

Posted by: navybrat, largely at large at May 21, 2020 09:00 PM (w7KSn)

529 Epilady. Shudder. Back in the day, a loong loong time ago, my French girlfriend used it. She was tough, and very smooth.

We disagreed on that.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:00 PM (u82oZ)

530 Whelp, bedtime. Thanks for the laughs and see you all tomorrow!

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2020 09:00 PM (MVjcR)

531
Allegheny Valley Community College/NBC News poll

National
Biden 64
Trump 30

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 09:00 PM (9DbOM)

532 Trump orders flags to half-staff to honor coronavirus victims, fallen service members

You don't want to start that stuff. Up here in Canada, the idiot Liberal government put the flags at half-mast when the first Canadian soldier was killed in Afghanistan. Then the next one, and the next one, until it became ridiculous. It goes to show how far removed we were from the whole idea of war, as if death in combat were some sort of unnatural outrage. It made us look weak and childish. The Conservatives quietly put a stop to that trend once the government changed, and nobody really protested.

Posted by: Dr. Mabuse at May 21, 2020 09:00 PM (ObSq3)

533 "It would take a heart of stone not to laugh."

Anyone know who said that?

Bet he'd be laughing...



Oscar Wilde

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM guy at May 21, 2020 09:01 PM (ZSK0i)

534 #319
It's not a purse. It's European.

Posted by: JuJuBee at May 21, 2020 09:01 PM (axCwm)

535 Sounds like the Roundup bullshit.

How would the talc get ... you know ...?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 08:59 PM (VpTlZ)

Well, it's like a gymnast powdering up her hands before she starts flinging herself around on the uneven bars...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 09:01 PM (A5zUN)

536 Can't we all just slap our cocks on a petrified tree stump and get thru this together?

Posted by: Fritz at May 21, 2020 09:01 PM (95j/9)

537 Hey folks!

Here, I'll immanentize a new thread by posting.

Lovely day spent outside. Truly, it was a paradise.

I'm only now reading Sefton's links.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:01 PM (Dc2NZ)

538 Baby powder , Round up , Asbestos.



Lawyers gotta eat.

Same as worms.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:02 PM (5Zt1F)

539 Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! -

We are going to be the prototype buddy movies with our adventures distracting police forces from all levels of government.

Ben Had can take care of herself.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:02 PM (u82oZ)

540 Well, it's like a gymnast powdering up her hands before she starts flinging herself around on the uneven bars...
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 21, 2020 09:01 PM (A5zUN)


Did she ... uh ... not quite clear the uneven bars, then?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:02 PM (VpTlZ)

541 533 - I wasn't sure if it was Oscar Wilde or W.C. Fields. In any case, I believe he was referring to the death of Little Nell.

Posted by: Dr. Mabuse at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (ObSq3)

542 390 I get the "learn to code" thing. I just hope no one ever takes it seriously.

I don't want these smug Dunning-Kruger prigs anywhere near the code that runs my bank account, or my car, or the heart monitor that's keeping me alive in the hospital.

Yep, Dave C, it looks Steve Jobs' trophy wife got tired of pouring money down that particular rathole.

Our local communist rag is under new ownership once again, after the previous owner's now-ex-husband got tired of funding her hobby "newspaper".

The new owners didn't fire all the communist reporters and replace them, though, so I'm sure it's only a matter of time until it's on the auction block again.

Maybe sooner or later someone will buy it who understands it's fucking stupid to run a communist newspaper in a conservative/libertarian state.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:32 PM (mNq/0)

----

Fantasy of Staff meeting with all the reporters and editorial staff at the bankruptedd Mpls Strib that I now control:

Okay! Great! Now Everyone that believes we need to make a difference in our community, Everyone that is out to make this world a better place!

Follow Me!!! Let's Go! Go! Go! Go!

Down to the loading dock, through several locking doors, and then surrounded by Security Guards, and lined up to receive their severance package from HR.

Return to the room, and tell the few remaining people, "The only thing that matters is the facts, the who, what, where, when, why, and how. The editorials are only on the editorial page. Every Far-right will have a matching far left. Anyone that is Socialist or Communist will be identified clearly as such. Christian does not mean bigoted."

Add a few real reporters, the kind that get your phone ringing as politicians screech about image and unfair treatment.

Posted by: rd at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (+0uDE)

543 You don't want to start that stuff. Up here in
Canada, the idiot Liberal government put the flags at half-mast when the
first Canadian soldier was killed in Afghanistan. Then the next one,
and the next one, until it became ridiculous. It goes to show how far
removed we were from the whole idea of war, as if death in combat were
some sort of unnatural outrage. It made us look weak and childish. The
Conservatives quietly put a stop to that trend once the government
changed, and nobody really protested.

Posted by: Dr. Mabuse at May 21, 2020 09:00 PM (ObSq3)

---
But this is Trump. Reflexive, unthinking opposition is the rule.

He's going to make all the Dems insist on venerating Old Glory and flying her proudly.

Oh, and flag-burning will now be bad because Trump's proposal dishonors our Sacred National Symbol.

The guy is a genius.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (cfSRQ)

544 I've used talc, but I didn't inhale.

Posted by: Hillary! at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (sWM8x)

545 HS baseball practices can begin June 1. No one allowed in dugouts at practice. On June 15 games can begin, players allowed in dugouts, and we will be riding buses to away games. Now what conditions magically change on June 15 that are not present in June 1st?

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (BHYVd)

546 Talc has some health issues if you inhale.

It's turning out that inhaling ground up rocks and solids is not such a healthy thing. Talc, asbestos, silicon (silicosis), black lung (coal), etc., etc.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM guy at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (ZSK0i)

547 People Who Work and Actually Pay Taxes Poll:

President Trump 110%

Joe Biden -10%

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (Z+IKu)

548 Can't we all just slap our cocks on a petrified tree stump and get thru this together?


Hey...I'll try anything once.

But I'm not gonna like it.

Posted by: eleven at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (QLPEO)

549 541 533 - I wasn't sure if it was Oscar Wilde or W.C. Fields. In any case, I believe he was referring to the death of Little Nell.

Correct. But the principle of the thing can be applied in many directions.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM guy at May 21, 2020 09:04 PM (ZSK0i)

550 Do not use baby powder is you are allergic to baby po



OH MAN THE FUCK UP , ALREADY

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:04 PM (5Zt1F)

551 "It would take a heart of stone not to laugh."

Anyone know who said that?

Bet he'd be laughing...


Oscar Wilde
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM guy at May 21, 2020 09:01 PM (ZSK0i)


I believe when he said it he was talking about the death of Little Nell in The Old Curiosity Shop.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:04 PM (2JVJo)

552 I didn't stand up when they banned baby powder because I liked Gold Bond better.

You can be damned sure I'll stand up when they ban rosin because of bull rigging and saddle bronc rigging.

Let 'er Buck.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:05 PM (g/u4p)

553 Turn Two

Herd immunity, except for the bus driver.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:05 PM (u82oZ)

554 544 I've used talc, but I didn't inhale.
Posted by: Hillary! at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (sWM8x)


Inhalation is not the problem, IFYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:05 PM (VpTlZ)

555 David Frum is desperately trying to hang out to his Atlantic job.

His latest:

The System Failed The Test

OrangeManBad!

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 21, 2020 09:05 PM (I2/tG)

556 Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:02 PM (u82oZ)

The Blues Brothers on steroids?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:05 PM (jnM20)

557 **waves to Eris**

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:06 PM (2JVJo)

558 Those are almost always scam callers anyway.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 21, 2020 08:51 PM (mNq/0)


Got a call too, it was for heroes families. I asked if it would be distributed whether they were union or not. We commenced to argue.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:07 PM (Lq54C)

559 Talc has some health issues if you inhale.

It's turning out that inhaling ground up rocks and solids is not such a healthy thing. Talc, asbestos, silicon (silicosis), black lung (coal), etc., etc.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM guy at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (ZSK0i)
--------------------


Talc has some naturally occurring asbestos in it, they are both mined in the same general areas.

Talc sold in the USA is supposed to have the asbestos removed, ever since the 1970's.

As you stated above, not a good idea to inhale powdered rocks.

Posted by: Boots at May 21, 2020 09:07 PM (oGBso)

560 Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together!

As I'lll be driving my own car, ... no. And a very mad and heavily armed Carrie Fisher is unpossible. She is dead.

But we can sing, right?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:07 PM (u82oZ)

561 HS baseball practices can begin June 1. No one allowed in dugouts at practice. On June 15 games can begin, players allowed in dugouts, and we will be riding buses to away games. Now what conditions magically change on June 15 that are not present in June 1st?
Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (BHYVd)


Just in time for graduation!

HS baseball practices usually start in February (in CA)/ March, for the season starting in late March/ early April.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:07 PM (VpTlZ)

562 I think the issue with talc is that it is rarely 100% free of a tiny admixture of asbestos.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 09:08 PM (Xmo7L)

563 People Who Work and Actually Pay Taxes Poll:
President Trump 110%
Joe Biden -10%
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (Z+IKu)


Obviously you understand neither demographics or industrial strength cheating!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:08 PM (jnM20)

564 Not inhaling isn't as easy as you might think. My shit needs to air it out, man.

Posted by: Hillary! at May 21, 2020 09:08 PM (sWM8x)

565 i'm skeered of ronas

and gettin in trouble

and baby powder

and Round Up

and clowns.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:08 PM (5Zt1F)

566 Turn Two

Herd immunity, except for the bus driver.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:05 PM (u82oZ)


I guess I won't have to worry about getting the 72 year old driver that is obese, and likely high BP (the one that gets us lost all the time) driving for us this summer. So, one positive.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:08 PM (BHYVd)

567 David Frum is desperately trying to hang out to his Atlantic job.

He can always follow the example of Denny Doherty of the Mammas & the Papas, when his music career foundered. He remembered he owned a house back in Nova Scotia, went back and got the lead in 'Theodore Tugboat'. A Canadian can always come back.

Posted by: Dr. Mabuse at May 21, 2020 09:09 PM (ObSq3)

568 As you stated above, not a good idea to inhale powdered rocks.

Posted by: Boots at May 21, 2020 09:07 PM (oGBso)


Pro tip: it's not a good idea to inhale ANY powder. Lungs did not evolve to deal with lots of powder.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:09 PM (VpTlZ)

569 Hi MP4! Get some sun? Did you have a productive day?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:09 PM (Dc2NZ)

570 And Fucking monkeys.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:09 PM (5Zt1F)

571 I get the "learn to code" thing. I just hope no one ever takes it seriously.

That's the joke - people go into journalism because they can't deal with math and structured logical thinking. They'd make terrible programmers.

A random laid-off coal miner has a better chance of being a decent programmer, since he probably hasn't been adversely selected against for mathematical talent.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 21, 2020 09:09 PM (I2/tG)

572 564 Not inhaling isn't as easy as you might think. My shit needs to air it out, man.
Posted by: Hillary! at May 21, 2020 09:08 PM (sWM8x)


Now THERE'S

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:10 PM (VpTlZ)

573 a source of air pollution.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:10 PM (VpTlZ)

574 WHO THE BLISTERING FUCK IS INHALING BABY POWDER PLEASE KILL YOURSELF THANK YOU

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:10 PM (5Zt1F)

575 Just hate to see it/Sarc

Posted by: Ghost Of Qassem Soleimani at May 21, 2020 09:10 PM (IMs9M)

576 >>>
HS baseball practices usually start in February (in CA)/ March, for the season starting in late March/ early April.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:07 PM (VpTlZ)


I think we are the only state in the nation that has (Only) summer HS baseball (though I heard Neb is running their season now). Our season begins first of May with games begins three weeks later. State tournament finishes end of July.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:11 PM (BHYVd)

577 Pro tip: it's not a good idea to inhale ANY powder. Lungs did not evolve to deal with lots of powder.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:09 PM (VpTlZ)


That's why we hack up those disgusting globs of ...matter

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:11 PM (Lq54C)

578 500 Here's a citation from the City of Chicago for disorderly conduct by a church.

https://tinyurl.com/y9lsqtfw
Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 08:53 PM (Tnijr)

----

Second City Cop had a post about it. They were saying DON'T DO THIS!

Rough quote, And to the Captain that signed the complaint, you may want to start inventorying your assets, like your pension, deferred compensation, bank accounts, mortgages, and the like. Because a lawsuit is coming.

Posted by: rd at May 21, 2020 09:12 PM (+0uDE)

579 The twitter comments on that thread are brutal.. Some are clever....most are just savage. Very entertaining.

Posted by: Orson at May 21, 2020 09:12 PM (8mlXQ)

580 Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together!

I have the lyrics to Rawhide, and I can get the lyrics to Ghost Riders in the Sky.

We may pick up some sopranos.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:13 PM (u82oZ)

581 David Frum is desperately trying to hang out to his Atlantic job.

__________


Heh. There's really nothing to see here folks!

Posted by: ShainS at May 21, 2020 09:13 PM (QB5Gw)

582 Samurai Jack

https://www.adultswim.com/streams/samurai-jack

Posted by: BourbonChicken at May 21, 2020 09:13 PM (LxTcq)

583 Hi MP4! Get some sun? Did you have a productive day?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:09 PM (Dc2NZ)


I did get some sun - I drove out to the dairy for some milk, which is a nice hour round trip (and it was absolutely gorgeous here today). Got perhaps a little over half a page written - I'm at the penultimate "villain explains things" scene and I'm trying not to let it be the typical Bondian cliché. It's very slow.

Tomorrow I'm going up to Lee (about 45 minutes away) to the used bookshop that is now open Fridays and Saturdays. I'm jonesing for the smell of old books!

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:14 PM (2JVJo)

584 Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:07 PM (u82oZ)

Do you know the entire words to "Minnie the Moocher"?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:14 PM (jnM20)

585 Baby Powder looks like cocaine

I like cocaine.

And Baby Powder.

But mostly cocaine.

Posted by: Hunter Biden at May 21, 2020 09:14 PM (aFWbw)

586 482 Pro Trip: Trim, trim never shave your nether regions.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2020 08:50 PM

Truth spoken here ! I had my neutering done over 30+ years ago, and the trim, NOT the shave is the way to go.

You never forget the name of the man who cuts on your junk, and mine, Robert C. Schoenvogel at Baylor Hospital in Dallas, told the nurse the razor was "not needed... he did a good job".

Posted by: TXMarko at May 21, 2020 09:15 PM (UZv16)

587 The guy is a genius.


Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 21, 2020 09:03 PM (cfSRQ)

LOL isn't he though?

Posted by: ... at May 21, 2020 09:15 PM (li+1I)

588 They closed down that gym in NJ.

People in those states need to get together and form units of voters who will work together to turn out voters.

Those ashoes are prime targets.
It's a target rich environment.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:15 PM (Lq54C)

589 574
WHO THE BLISTERING FUCK IS INHALING BABY POWDER PLEASE KILL YOURSELF THANK YOU

Posted by: deplorable unperson

__________


Fish tank cleaner chaser FTW!

Posted by: ShainS at May 21, 2020 09:16 PM (QB5Gw)

590 Really hope Jemele Hill cries racism

Posted by: JH13 at May 21, 2020 09:16 PM (QE8JS)

591 We may pick up some sopranos.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:13 PM (u82oZ)


SO, you're saying there's still hope?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:17 PM (jnM20)

592 Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together!

I have Duck Duck Go and Hooktube. I'm good to go.

Be warned. When my my school kids act up, I say I feel a song coming on. They all say: "Please Mr. (NaCl)y, no singing."

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:17 PM (u82oZ)

593 >>> They closed down that gym in NJ.

People in those states need to get together and form units of voters who will work together to turn out voters.

Those ashoes are prime targets.
It's a target rich environment.
Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:15 PM (Lq54C)




I have not checked, but didn't the owners say they would move the equipment to the parking lot for today so patrons could work out?

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:18 PM (BHYVd)

594 re: the sidebar about Twitch.

It's billed as purely an advisory group, they have no power, realistically it was probably never going to much more than a PR tool to say to dissatisfied users "hey, we're trying!".

A couple of the people were clearly chosen for identity politics reasons and not vetted for professionalism and it went to their heads which is generating all the drama threads.

There are several normal people on it and ones that are fairly trusted and professional brands on Twitch, and notably one that hoped it would be useful to hold Twitch accountable, but at this point it seems up in the air if the whole thing will just get quietly ignored.

Posted by: Sjg at May 21, 2020 09:18 PM (gDSJf)

595 Please Don't Make Me Go Back To Canada!

Posted by: David "Soon To Be Unemployed" Frum at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (I2/tG)

596 Hi Honey! I'm home! I got a pay cut today.

Paolo: Oh hello...David. She is in the bathroom. She needed to clean up, and apply some...unguents. Please make yourself at home in the shed out back.

Posted by: David Frum at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (dOV9E)

597 Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together!

You have to leave your groupies behind. But we know two lovely women who will be in Texas, and they probably have good voices.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (u82oZ)

598 I think we are the only state in the nation that has (Only) summer HS baseball (though I heard Neb is running their season now). Our season begins first of May with games begins three weeks later. State tournament finishes end of July.
Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:11 PM (BHYVd)


Interesting. What state is that?

I know travel teams and such play through the summer here in CA (under normal circumstances), but I hadn't heard of HS teams doing it.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (VpTlZ)

599 Well, it rained steadily all day, so I applied (on line) for a burn permit, got it back by e-mail, and I flashed up my burn pile at about 4:30 this afternoon. I had hosed the pile down with old solvent from a pressurized fire extinguisher, and then splashed some gasoline on it. Soaked a rag in gasoline, lit it, and tossed on the pile. Didn't light. Rag burned out. Went and got another rag, splashed some more gasoline, dampened the rag, lit it, and tossed it. Again, pile refused to light. But I took my fire extinguisher, loaded with old solvent, and directed the stream through the flame from the burning rag. Woo-ee! Now I had a blowtorch going. Sprayed it all around, deep into the heart of the pile, and the fire took hold of the wood, and I was off to the races. I went out half an hour ago, and it's mostly burned down. Plenty of coals, scarcely any flame. There's a ring of unburned sticks around the fringe of the fire, but it doesn't amount to much volume. Once the fire is fully out, I will rake them into the center of the pit to become the seed for the next fire. Still a lot of deadwood in the hedges to clear.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (Xmo7L)

600 Tomorrow I'm going up to Lee (about 45 minutes away) to the used bookshop that is now open Fridays and Saturdays. I'm jonesing for the smell of old books!
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:14 PM (2JVJo)
---

Are you telling me that Massechoomers have more freedom than Michiganders?!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (Dc2NZ)

601 I have not checked, but didn't the owners say they would move the equipment to the parking lot for today so patrons could work out?

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:18 PM (BHYVd)


Didn't hear it but that's a good move.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:20 PM (Lq54C)

602 What are the pool sharks going to use to lube their hands?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 21, 2020 09:20 PM (aKsyK)

603 NaCly, You know we have to schedule Insom's arrival at the same time as those lovely ladies.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:21 PM (g/u4p)

604 There's a ring of unburned sticks around the fringe of the fire
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (Xmo7L)


Don't fall in.

Posted by: Johnny Cash at May 21, 2020 09:21 PM (t+qrx)

605 What are the pool sharks going to use to lube their hands?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 21, 2020 09:20 PM (aKsyK)

Corn Starch.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2020 09:21 PM (Z+IKu)

606 That's why we hack up those disgusting globs of ...matter
Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:11 PM (Lq54C)


Absolutely right. It's kind of like taking the drain tube and P-trap off of a bathroom sink. /shudder

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:21 PM (VpTlZ)

607
is that rotten cocksucker Wray investigating the church burning as a "hate crime?"

The FBI has an entire division devoted to "hate crimes." So does Barr's DOJ.

Where's the "hate crime" investigation for this church burning?

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at May 21, 2020 09:22 PM (9DbOM)

608 I have not checked, but didn't the owners say they would move the equipment to the parking lot for today so patrons could work out?

The Atilis gym in NJ was all the way closed today. The owners said the wording of the warnings had changed enough that the believe it's coming directly from Gov. Murphy (Asshole - NJ), and they're going to have to decide on tomorrow based on what their lawyers say.

Meanwhile, I got an actual human hug from the hot bartendress at my dive bar today. A hug, in the age of the Wuhans!

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 21, 2020 09:22 PM (gd9RK)

609 Ben Had

Got it. Is he a tenor?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:23 PM (u82oZ)

610 596 Hi Honey! I'm home! I got a pay cut today.

Paolo: Oh hello...David. She is in the bathroom. She needed to clean up, and apply some...unguents. Please make yourself at home in the shed out back.
Posted by: David Frum at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (dOV9E)


Paolo: Also, she'll be walking funny for a while.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:23 PM (VpTlZ)

611 What are the pool sharks going to use to lube their hands?

Duck fat. Or Goose Grease.


They're organic.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:23 PM (5Zt1F)

612 "Some guy from The Atlantic called. I told him we already got two."


I did get a text asking me to take a poll to see what my thoughts were regarding our state goobermint and it's leadership.

I declined.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at May 21, 2020 09:23 PM (CcOog)

613 Not a hate crime, because directed at wypipo.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at May 21, 2020 09:24 PM (cqteU)

614 The crap sandwich in GA is getting drippier.
They've arrested the photographer for murder also.
Seems his story changed every time he told it.

Right now, I think it's a story of -let's scare him- gone wrong.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:24 PM (Lq54C)

615 NaCly, you'll have to ask him.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:24 PM (g/u4p)

616 Are you telling me that Massechoomers have more freedom than Michiganders?!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (Dc2NZ)


Nope. Lee is in NH. I'll be interested to see if there's a sign outside limiting occupancy. I'll have a report for the book thread.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:25 PM (2JVJo)

617 Reporting for duty, Little Admiral Kristol!

Posted by: David Frump at May 21, 2020 09:26 PM (EgshT)

618 Ben Had

Well, he is used to people offing deer and woodpeckers right next to him. He'll fit right in a Blues Brothers themed shuttle trip.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:26 PM (u82oZ)

619 Ben Had
Got it. Is he a tenor?
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:23 PM (u82oZ)


We'll have a full choir by the time we get to Ben's place!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:27 PM (jnM20)

620 yeah Tim Pool says because of the NJ governor's action, he's moving his business to another state ASAP.

Texas is too hot to wear a knit cap year round.

Posted by: x at May 21, 2020 09:27 PM (nFwvY)

621 NaCly, That will be the trip of a lifetime.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:28 PM (g/u4p)

622 Are you telling me that Massechoomers have more freedom than Michiganders?!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (Dc2NZ)


I spotted no fewer than two roadside ice cream stands on the way back from Mason, with lines of people standing around the block.

Life, uh, finds a way.

Posted by: hogmartin at May 21, 2020 09:28 PM (t+qrx)

623 From Insty:

If you care about the working poor, about racial justice, and about climate change, you have to stop eating animals.

- Headline, New York Times opinion column, today.


Welp, you're 0 for 3.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:28 PM (VpTlZ)

624
The Atilis gym in NJ was all the way closed today. The owners said the wording of the warnings had changed enough that the believe it's coming directly from Gov. Murphy (Asshole - NJ), and they're going to have to decide on tomorrow based on what their lawyers say.

Tucker said that sewage started flowing into their toilets yesterday.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 21, 2020 09:28 PM (aKsyK)

625 Not sure if this has already been posted. From the twatters, Gainesville, FL:

"City of Gainesville dumped loads of mulch on one of the skate parks in town. Someone posted "free mulch" on Facebook and it was 100% gone by the rest of the day and blown clean with leaf blowers by citizens. Get worked Gainesville."

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at May 21, 2020 09:29 PM (nu45M)

626 And free range.

And cage free.


And responsibly sourced.


And Fair Trade.
And environmentally friendly.

And UK Modern Slavery Act Compliant.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:29 PM (5Zt1F)

627 What does eating a burger have to do with racial justice?

Posted by: David Frump at May 21, 2020 09:29 PM (EgshT)

628 Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (Dc2NZ)

Eris my dear, here's one for you

Quiz: Antidepressant or Tolkien?

https://antidepressantsortolkien.
xebuz.now.sh/

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:30 PM (jnM20)

629 The crap sandwich in GA is getting drippier.
They've arrested the photographer for murder also.
Seems his story changed every time he told it.

Right now, I think it's a story of -let's scare him- gone wrong.
Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:24 PM (Lq54C)

Somehow, I doubt the two guys had in mind to murder Arbery, or they would not have had a third party filming. I think they honestly wanted to do a citizen's arrest, and film that, and then hand him off to law enforcement.

I know, speaking for myself, if I had it in mind to simply kill a thug or burglar, I would not want a video to exist.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 09:30 PM (Xmo7L)

630 Ben Had

I had one of those just last year, taking LadyL and Jewells45 to Love Field.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:30 PM (u82oZ)

631
Somehow, I doubt the two guys had in mind to murder Arbery, or they would not have had a third party filming.


no, no, NO

White Southern Bubba killed that kid for fun and Confederate sport while a laughing co-conspirator filmed

-The Narrative

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:32 PM (5Zt1F)

632 Tucker said that sewage started flowing into their toilets yesterday.


Yeah. That happened and they fixed it and then they got the holy shit now even we are scared notices.

I did not properly vet my government before moving to this state. I just wanted a job and a nice little house on the lake.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 21, 2020 09:32 PM (gd9RK)

633 The Atilis gym in NJ was all the way closed today. The owners said the wording of the warnings had changed enough that the believe it's coming directly from Gov. Murphy (Asshole - NJ), and they're going to have to decide on tomorrow based on what their lawyers say.

Tucker said that sewage started flowing into their toilets yesterday.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 21, 2020 09:28 PM (aKsyK)


**types**

**deletes**

Someone needs to remind Murphy that no matter how many cops he has around him, he can be gotten to.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:33 PM (2JVJo)

634 I know, speaking for myself, if I had it in mind to simply kill a thug or burglar, I would not want a video to exist.

Me either but these days...

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 09:33 PM (KZzsI)

635 610 596 Hi Honey! I'm home! I got a pay cut today.

Paolo: Oh hello...David. She is in the bathroom. She needed to clean up, and apply some...unguents. Please make yourself at home in the shed out back.
Posted by: David Frum at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (dOV9E)

Paolo: Also, she'll be walking funny for a while.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:23 PM (VpTlZ)

Aye Curumba, just like you are Dave.

Posted by: Paulo at May 21, 2020 09:33 PM (NgKpN)

636 Again..
GOOD

STARVE

Posted by: Getcha Pull at May 21, 2020 09:33 PM (aR6C/)

637 >>> Interesting. What state is that?

I know travel teams and such play through the summer here in CA (under normal circumstances), but I hadn't heard of HS teams doing it.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:19 PM (VpTlZ)


Iowa. I believe we changed from spring to summer around 1970. We HS coaches like it because then we don't have to compete with track, soccer, and golf for athletes in the spring season.

Also, Legion baseball isn't that big here anymore. But I have been coaching HS baseball for 25 years, and I am starting to see a pattern where the top prospects in our state are forgoing HS baseball so they can participate in travel ball and showcases. It's the only way to get exposure vs the kids from west coast and the south.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:34 PM (BHYVd)

638 For example, someone filmed themselves beating helpless old men and women in a nursing home bloody. Because they thought it was funny I guess. Then he posted it on social media.

He's in the jailhouse now.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 09:34 PM (KZzsI)

639 Whoever wrote that editorial is insane! Wait, wut?

Posted by: David Frump at May 21, 2020 09:35 PM (EgshT)

640 We agreed to stay home for a while to "flatten the curve" and make sure hospitals weren't overrun.

I think we've fulfilled our part of that contract. It's done.

Posted by: t-bird at May 21, 2020 09:35 PM (4EIFd)

641 Tucker said that sewage started flowing into their toilets yesterday.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 21, 2020 09:28 PM (aKsyK)


The phrase "six ways from Sunday" comes to mind!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:37 PM (jnM20)

642 t-bird

Getting the Gov's attention requires a team, overwatch, secure comms, and OPSEC.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:38 PM (u82oZ)

643 I don't recall ever agreeing to stay home even to "flatten the curve" myself...

Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Asetto at May 21, 2020 09:38 PM (7WaWV)

644 Wow, this is a very long thread. I see the focus has been fucking monkeys.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (kVr0X)

645 I had one of those just last year, taking LadyL and Jewells45 to Love Field.

LOL!! Poor NaCly!! You were calm as a cucumber with 2 women yelling at you in rush hour traffic.. in Dallas.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (dUJdY)

646 Thank you, I'm honored to be considered. Who would I be running with...?

Posted by: Amy Klobuchar at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (CTJwJ)

647 ...Somehow, I doubt the two guys had in mind to murder Arbery, or they would not have had a third party filming. I think they honestly wanted to do a citizen's arrest, and film that, and then hand him off to law enforcement.

I know, speaking for myself, if I had it in mind to simply kill a thug or burglar, I would not want a video to exist.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 09:30 PM (Xmo7L)



Taking a contrarian point. Arbery was a jackass probably a pain in the neck to others of the neighborhood.

FOX has a complete video of him being checked by cops in a park.

OK, on second thought. The arrest would be a way to get him out of the neighborhood.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (Lq54C)

648 > He's in the jailhouse now.

Another "O Brother" reference?

Posted by: perilisk at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (9p+wn)

649 We do need an All American Impossible Mission Force, just to free the US of A.

But who can Trump trust? Not the IC.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (u82oZ)

650 A business memo in brief sounds heavily redacted.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (PUmDY)

651 apparently pandemics are also the health of the state

Posted by: Kindltot at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (WyVLE)

652 I never trusted the government and I have even less reason now.

Every house has a city water meter. OH!

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:40 PM (g/u4p)

653 Remember the evil Bain Capital that the Dems hated so much in 2012 cause Romney? One of the founders and his wife just donated 1/2 million to a Dem Super PAC.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 09:40 PM (Tnijr)

654 Jewells45

It makes for a great story, for sure.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:40 PM (u82oZ)

655 Paolo: Also, she'll be walking funny for a while.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:23 PM (VpTlZ)

--------

Just be polite when you ask Paolo to stop wiping his dick on the curtains.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 09:40 PM (kVr0X)

656 For example, someone filmed themselves beating helpless old men and women in a nursing home bloody. Because they thought it was funny I guess.

Yeah, that's just fucking hilarious. Jesus.. don't get me started. I would punch throat Cuomo right now if he was in front of me. Then I saw that video and about came unhinged. Keep thinking of my poor mom and if someone had done that to her.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 21, 2020 09:41 PM (dUJdY)

657 30% unemployment in just two months of giving free rein to socialist governors. Thanks for the preview, guys!

Posted by: t-bird at May 21, 2020 09:41 PM (WLHrn)

658 apparently pandemics are also the health of the state

Posted by: Kindltot at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (WyVLE)


Comrade, it is our definition of what is best for you that is best for you, if you know what I mean!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:42 PM (jnM20)

659 I got 16/24 on the Tolkien or antidepressant quiz!

Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Asetto at May 21, 2020 09:42 PM (7WaWV)

660 You assholes can feel the pain you inflicted on the rest of the ENTIRE nation all because you sorry fuckheads "just cant" and "because Trump"
Have fun "resisting" the reality you hand crafted for yourselves.
DIAF

Posted by: Getcha Pull at May 21, 2020 09:42 PM (aR6C/)

661 t-bird

We have 149 years of data on how this turns out.

If the Left gets control, we are dead.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 21, 2020 09:42 PM (u82oZ)

662 Has someone mentioned that The Liberty Daily has ace of spades front and center in red caps?

Posted by: artemis at May 21, 2020 09:43 PM (AwPyG)

663 Dear Lord, just saw footage of a man beating elderly patients at a nursing home:

https://twitter.com/RealJamesWoods/status/1263565728386387968

This is one you won't see on CNN.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:43 PM (Dc2NZ)

664 I got 16/24 on the Tolkien or antidepressant quiz!
Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Asetto at May 21, 2020 09:42 PM (7WaWV)


I didn't come close to that. I don't know if that means I won or lost.

Posted by: hogmartin at May 21, 2020 09:43 PM (t+qrx)

665 Just be polite when you ask Paolo to stop wiping his dick on the curtains.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2020 09:40 PM (kVr0X)


Jim Comey: I don't mind if he does

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2020 09:43 PM (NPM15)

666 Heard that Fauci is out of his cage tonight extolling the virtues of Xi.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:44 PM (Lq54C)

667 I never trusted the government and I have even less reason now.
Every house has a city water meter. OH!
Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:40 PM (g/u4p)


Soy enhanced flouride is good for you Comrade Citizen! Trust your betters!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:44 PM (jnM20)

668 Since it's racist to call it the Chinese Virus, let's just call it the Cuomo Virus.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 21, 2020 09:44 PM (I2/tG)

669 I wonder how much Romney has donated.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 09:44 PM (Tnijr)

670
Has someone mentioned that The Liberty Daily has ace of spades front and center in red caps?
Posted by: artemis


Yes

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 21, 2020 09:45 PM (aKsyK)

671 >>The Atilis gym in NJ was all the way closed today. The owners said the wording of the warnings had changed enough that the believe it's coming directly from Gov. Murphy (Asshole - NJ)

You know, non-access to a leased property null and voids that lease in most contracts...just saying.

I believe that you may be able to legally get out of your lease do to non-access conventants that typically apply - including force majeure in a lot of cases. So, if you can, MOVE to somewhere open. Like now. Leave the Karen Waffen Snitchen Staffel behind.

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 09:45 PM (32YRo)

672 I got 16/24 on the Tolkien or antidepressant quiz!

Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Asetto at May 21, 2020 09:42 PM (7WaWV)


Beat me by two.

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:45 PM (jnM20)

673 Have fun "resisting" the reality you hand crafted for yourselves.

They're not gonna resist anything.They love this shit. I see idiots on FB and I just want to scream at them but I know it won't do any good. Shaming people who won't wear masks. Fuck. You. (not you, them)

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 21, 2020 09:45 PM (dUJdY)

674 669 I wonder how much Romney has donated.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 09:44 PM (Tnijr)


Does he have a committee assignment.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:45 PM (Lq54C)

675 The left has finally given us a solid goalpost they promise not to move: "The current US death count for the pandemic is just above 96,000. As soon as that total drops back to zero we can reopen the country."

Posted by: An Observation at May 21, 2020 09:46 PM (m8xKM)

676 Will journalism for food.

Posted by: Ostral B Heretic at May 21, 2020 09:46 PM (mJYGi)

677 670
Has someone mentioned that The Liberty Daily has ace of spades front and center in red caps?
Posted by: artemis

Yes
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 21, 2020 09:45 PM (aKsyK)


Oh great, now the "but mostly" joke will be ruined because everyone will start using it.

Posted by: Splunge at May 21, 2020 09:47 PM (dOV9E)

678 Heard that Fauci is out of his cage tonight extolling the virtues of Xi.


Every sawed-off shitbird Wormtongue needs a Supreme Majesty to worship.

Posted by: deplorable unperson - Have you reported in to your assigned Contact Tracer today? at May 21, 2020 09:47 PM (5Zt1F)

679 673 Have fun "resisting" the reality you hand crafted for yourselves.

They're not gonna resist anything.They love this shit. I see idiots on FB and I just want to scream at them but I know it won't do any good. Shaming people who won't wear masks. Fuck. You. (not you, them)
Posted by: Jewells45 at May 21, 2020 09:45 PM (dUJdY)

What brought all the Covid mask police out on FB today?

They were swarming like cockroaches.

Posted by: Ladyl at May 21, 2020 09:47 PM (TdMsT)

680 Jewells, put something for you in the snail mail this morning.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:47 PM (g/u4p)

681 Then I saw that video and about came unhinged. Keep thinking of my poor mom and if someone had done that to her.

Yeah he'd be in a pine box if it was one of my family.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 09:47 PM (KZzsI)

682 Iowa. I believe we changed from spring to summer around 1970. We HS coaches like it because then we don't have to compete with track, soccer, and golf for athletes in the spring season.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:34 PM (BHYVd)


Interesting. I played in HS, and the tennis coach wanted me to play that, but ... the seasons ran concurrently, and I preferred baseball.

I kind of regret the travel team thing in all sports. It's as though the very best play the game, and no one else even bothers playing at all. Apart from video games.

I blame universities for offering athletic scholarships. You go to university to learn, not to play a sport. If you'd play a sport, go do that.

For my part, I'd like to see an absolute requirement in university for calculus and introductory physics, just to weed out the non-hackers.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:48 PM (VpTlZ)

683 What brought all the Covid mask police out on FB today?

They were swarming like cockroaches.

Posted by: Ladyl at May 21, 2020 09:47 PM (TdMsT)


The end is near.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:48 PM (Lq54C)

684 I see the adverts on the tube for all these medicines, and I never catch, precisely, for what conditions they're offered...

Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Asetto at May 21, 2020 09:49 PM (7WaWV)

685 We have seen the movie before - shut off the water and power, then they get sporty with sonic bombardment. If you really piss them off well....

Posted by: Heart of Darkness at May 21, 2020 09:49 PM (xceTB)

686 Quiz: Antidepressant or Tolkien?

15/24 Thank goodness "Bilbo" was one of the entries. That's very funny.

Posted by: t-bird at May 21, 2020 09:50 PM (WLHrn)

687 > He's in the jailhouse now.

Another "O Brother" reference?

Posted by: perilisk at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (9p+wn)

Hank Williams...

Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 09:50 PM (32YRo)

688 What brought all the Covid mask police out on FB today?
They were swarming like cockroaches.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 21, 2020 09:47 PM (TdMsT)


It's for your own good really!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:51 PM (jnM20)

689 Some of those names on the quiz that weren't Tolkien weren't antidepressants, either...

Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Asetto at May 21, 2020 09:52 PM (7WaWV)

690 Just went to restaurant for fist time since this fiasco began Didn't realize you had to call in your order and pick up at the curb. Didn't have my phone so I went home ordered an returned. Great food and friendly service but I don't see how they can be making money like this. And this is Georgia which is far ahead of other states in opening.


This insanity is going to be the end of us all.

Posted by: Ripley at May 21, 2020 09:52 PM (sGobE)

691 Another "O Brother" reference?

I love that movie and the soundtrack

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 09:52 PM (KZzsI)

692 We have seen the movie before - shut off the water and power, then they get sporty with sonic bombardment. If you really piss them off well....
Posted by: Heart of Darkness at May 21, 2020 09:49 PM (xceTB)


What ought to happen is for the gym owner to find a B-and-E man who will sneak into the governor's house / mansion and leave a bowie knife on the pillow with a note reading, "next time, there won't be a warning."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:52 PM (2JVJo)

693 No mask, not now , not ever,

Fight me. please.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:53 PM (g/u4p)

694 689 Some of those names on the quiz that weren't Tolkien weren't antidepressants, either...
Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Asetto at May 21, 2020 09:52 PM (7WaWV)
---
"Do not take Thranduil if you are on orc inhibitors..."

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 21, 2020 09:54 PM (Dc2NZ)

695 >>> Taking a contrarian point. Arbery was a jackass probably a pain in the neck to others of the neighborhood.

FOX has a complete video of him being checked by cops in a park.

OK, on second thought. The arrest would be a way to get him out of the neighborhood.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:39 PM (Lq54C)


I watched a two part video of a GA 'Stand your Ground' attorney yesterday. To this 2 cent brain, he made a good point that, while the father/son acted stupidly, they did not (according to the video, and GA law) act criminally.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:54 PM (BHYVd)

696 I will look for it Ben Had. And I will defend to the death your right to not wear a mask!

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 21, 2020 09:54 PM (dUJdY)

697 Aw fuck I just saw Joel Hodgson on one of those Ad Council alone together commercials

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 09:55 PM (Tnijr)

698 What ought to happen is for the gym owner to find a B-and-E man who will sneak into the governor's house / mansion and leave a bowie knife on the pillow with a note reading, "next time, there won't be a warning."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:52 PM (2JVJo)


Every Christian in the county should circle the governor's mansion on Sunday and sing hymns.
Conduct a big service. Invite the gov to join them in prayer.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:55 PM (Lq54C)

699 They are even ruining MST3k for me.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 09:55 PM (Tnijr)

700 Every Christian in the county should circle the governor's mansion on Sunday and sing hymns.
Conduct a big service. Invite the gov to join them in prayer.
Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:55 PM (Lq54C)


You're a better person than I am.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:56 PM (2JVJo)

701 Jewells, your math still sucks so I disavowed it.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2020 09:57 PM (g/u4p)

702 The Atlantic Magazine cutting staff--bull excrement futures down 20%.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at May 21, 2020 09:57 PM (NVDjf)

703 Join us up above.

Posted by: Charles the Simple at May 21, 2020 09:57 PM (HuH1F)

704 WD Nood

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - YOU are all in it together! - at May 21, 2020 09:57 PM (jnM20)

705 Hank Williams...
Posted by: Boswell at May 21, 2020 09:50 PM (32YRo)

Jimmie Rodgers, I think. And he might have learned it from some blues guy.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2020 09:57 PM (Xmo7L)

706 ...I watched a two part video of a GA 'Stand your Ground' attorney yesterday. To this 2 cent brain, he made a good point that, while the father/son acted stupidly, they did not (according to the video, and GA law) act criminally.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 09:54 PM (BHYVd)


The old man had been a cop and, theoretically, knew procedure. If he and his son had done that things could have turned out for the good.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 09:58 PM (Lq54C)

707 Aw fuck I just saw Joel Hodgson on one of those Ad Council alone together commercials

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 09:55 PM (Tnijr)


Did he do an invention exchange in it?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2020 09:58 PM (NPM15)

708 Can't have too much OPSEC.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at May 21, 2020 09:58 PM (cqteU)

709 Our nominee is short a few
We think about it not at all
It fits us well
To have Old Joe be with us now
It fits our mood
So stupid together

If we should vote for him, forgive us that,
He holds a place, he'll pick a chick
And she will lead
Imagine how she'll sponge his brow
And they will be
So stupid together

I can't see them running the States without causing a lot of strife
I don't care because Daddy pays all of my bills for all my life

Posted by: Splunge at May 21, 2020 09:59 PM (dOV9E)

710 I wore my steampunk mask, made of embossed Cardassian leather with the spikes and grommets and buckles, etc., to the grocer's today, AND ONLY ONE PERSON SAID ANYTHING!! (One of the Insta-Cart slags that it was "cool") FFS, why do I even bother?

Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Asetto at May 21, 2020 10:00 PM (7WaWV)

711 They are even ruining MST3k for me.
Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2020 09:55 PM (Tnijr)


Speaking of ruining. . .Insty has a link to Tater smirking that OANN is the TCM of news broadcasts, since it gives people news "the way they remember it." On his twitter thread, he's being hammered by TCM fans.

All well and good? Of course not. Because they all have to virtue signal about TCM being staffed with gays, blacks and progressives and how the sister-screwing MAGA rednecks either are too dumb to watch the channel or won't watch it because it has women, black and gay hosts.

Fucking leftists take the joy out of everything. Although I shouldn't be surprised - there's a silent film board out there I pop into from time to time, but not much, because IMO real silent fans are some of the most arrogant assholes you will ever meet.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 10:00 PM (2JVJo)

712 @45
These people are not rebels. They are the establishment, sorry to say.

Posted by: Case at May 21, 2020 10:00 PM (bFzPX)

713 >>>
For my part, I'd like to see an absolute requirement in university for calculus and introductory physics, just to weed out the non-hackers.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 21, 2020 09:48 PM (VpTlZ

It's the college scholarships that are driving the emphasis on travel ball. In my town we have a young man who accepted a verbal offer for a baseball scholarship to LSU when he was in 9th grade. One to Ole' Miss as a soph, and another kid committed to NC last year, as a Soph. And yeah, I like the calc/physics idea.

Posted by: Turn Two at May 21, 2020 10:01 PM (BHYVd)

714 Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 21, 2020 09:56 PM (2JVJo)


We share the same goal. And from what I understand of that governor, being encircled by Christians might be just as frightening.

and if it doesn't work... there are alternatives.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 21, 2020 10:01 PM (Lq54C)

715 Ont is nude.

Meep meep mother fucking hamster fuckers.

http://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=387408

Posted by: BifBewalski - sinis est culus at May 21, 2020 10:02 PM (VcFUs)

716 So do all these departing Journalists lose their Blue Check Marks?

Posted by: An Observation at May 21, 2020 10:05 PM (m8xKM)

717 716 So do all these departing Journalists lose their Blue Check Marks?
Posted by: An Observation at May 21, 2020 10:05 PM (m8xKM)


What? No. You assholes are lucky we still let Trump tweet.

Posted by: Jack Dorsey at May 21, 2020 10:09 PM (dOV9E)

718 Someone at The Atlantic needs to look up what "bracing" means.
Wow. They used to be a fine literary magazine. Just another victim of the Flying Monkeys of the Dark Side swarming in and taking over. They've been unbelievably vile and dishonest about the patriots and our President, so they can get stuffed.

Posted by: Beverly at May 21, 2020 10:25 PM (SBMUk)

719 I do honestly remember when Atlantic was smart, literate, fairly even handed, and thought-provoking. Its been a long time though. over 25 years. Print is almost dead, as Egon predicted, but they didn't have to hasten it by sucking and ramming hard left.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 21, 2020 08:12 PM (KZzsI)

Whom Gods Destroy, they first make mad.

Posted by: Oldcat at May 21, 2020 11:06 PM (eoQWY)

720 You really are savage, ace.

Posted by: Howard at May 22, 2020 01:09 AM (hh1rr)

721 That Atlantic has been one of the nastiest rags, including a recent article claiming Trump backed off on fighting covid when he learned it was killing more minorities than whites.

Posted by: BK in TX at May 22, 2020 09:21 AM (fhqAu)

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