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Eric Swallowall Drops a Raucously Loud Fart on Live TV

Well that's one way to get some Twitter buzz.

I know this is old but it's too good.



I think he ate Mexican. A Mexican tuba.

And then... the cover-up began.




But some investigators can sniff out the truth.



Of course, the members of the #SalonHot25 announce themselves as Fart Truthers and begin covering for their hero.



Did you see how he paused, gritted, and then released at the precise moment of gastric detonation?

He looks like he just cleared his colon of some very precious Prom Memories, if you catch my drift.

But real conservatives won't be deterred from the noxious truth:



MSNBC joins the Conspiracy of Lies.



Joining a Conspiracy of Lies is pretty much their brand.



Proof:



Vindman is lying at the hearings and refusing to answer questions.



He doesn't wear the uniform at his day-job. He's only wearing it now to Lend Authority.

I think that you shouldn't wear your uniform unless you're within 20 pounds of regulation weight.

Greta Spazzburg checks in:

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 11:52 AM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 No, Ace. I think you bring great stuff here and write very well yourself but I'm really not going to click on Swawell's farting.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 19, 2019 11:53 AM (WI7YS)

2 i muted the tv when (d) himes started questioning.

more "feelz" stuff, i bet.

Posted by: trapper's girl at November 19, 2019 11:54 AM (dnjy6)

3 Swalwell probably lost a few I.Q. points there.

Posted by: boynsea at November 19, 2019 11:55 AM (Fks5r)

4 Maybe the fart was the first shot in his plan to nuke half the U.S.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 11:55 AM (Uu+Jp)

5 mute off!...get em! (r) ratcliffe!

Posted by: trapper's girl at November 19, 2019 11:55 AM (dnjy6)

6 No, Ace. I think you bring great stuff here and write very well yourself but I'm really not going to click on Swawell's farting.

You should, it's hilarious.

CarpeDonktum edited it so he farts and then Thundercunt yells HOW DARE YOU. It's a thing of beauty.

Posted by: Ian S. at November 19, 2019 11:56 AM (ZGrMX)

7 UCMJ Article 88. He should be taken out of their in cuffs my Military Police.

Posted by: Don Q at November 19, 2019 11:56 AM (NgKpN)

8 May the Fart be with you always.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 11:56 AM (bfAee)

9 Hot gas in both directions? Must be a donk trait

Posted by: Lt. Colonel Flounder at November 19, 2019 11:56 AM (U7k5w)

10 Most intelligent thing to come from that guy, ever.

Posted by: Roland THTG at November 19, 2019 11:56 AM (88+cf)

11 The Polish Patriot's contribution is hilarious

Posted by: CN at November 19, 2019 11:57 AM (U7k5w)

12 Vindaloumon needs to be flogged and then hanged.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 11:57 AM (bfAee)

13 Fen, the infrared tweet is worthwhile.

Posted by: Emmie at November 19, 2019 11:58 AM (i/wJA)

14 visual and verbal evidence of the b.s. transcripts!

ha, ha, it was biden not potus. i like it.

Posted by: trapper's girl at November 19, 2019 11:58 AM (dnjy6)

15 May Swallwell be most remembered for this hot air coming from his posterior cheeks rather than his face cheeks.

Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (bDqIh)

16 It wasn't a fart, it was a nuke!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (ptqGC)

17 Well...

shit happens

/hands Shitwell a Tshirt

Posted by: Forrest Gump at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (NgKpN)

18 But i's not improper to ask a foreign government to help create a dossier and use ocunus "lures". Cute

Posted by: CN at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (U7k5w)

19 From the Art thread:


I've already seen variants that say SWALWELL DIDN'T SHIT HIMSELF. LOL.

Posted by: Ian S. at November 19, 2019 10:16 AM (ZGrMX)

Posted by: ShainS -- Trump/Conan the Hero Dog 2020: Two Barbarians for the Price of One!!! at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (WqPYg)

20 Swallwell should just change his name to Sharty Shartsalot.

Posted by: Benji Carver at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (OD2ni)

21 Swalwell is on the Intelligence Committee.

Read that again because it's effing retarded.

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (jUVms)

22 sissywell actually looks in discomfort before he farts.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (cEsBM)

23 why fart & waste it, when you can burp & taste it

Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (BqBId)

24 "and I did not hear it"

Typical politician evasion. We do not care if you heard it, the pertinent question is: Did you smell it?

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (LWu6U)

25
Military is required to wear uniform
when testifying to Congress.

Posted by: ArthurK at November 19, 2019 12:00 PM (mI1ez)

26 So Eric the Fart is now part of the Al Roker Club or the Don Lemon Clique?

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:00 PM (bfAee)

27 I think Swalwell gets virality.

Now EVERYONE has him repeating that it is proven that President Trump used tax payer dollars to force Ukraine to dig up dirt on political rivals.

Posted by: blaster at November 19, 2019 12:00 PM (9VeU0)

28 I thought the nevertrumper complaint was that Trump was vulgar. Why is allahcuck sucking up Swallowell's farts?

Posted by: dagny, first of her name at November 19, 2019 12:00 PM (nRWPy)

29 4 Maybe the fart was the first shot in his plan to nuke half the U.S.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 11:55 AM (Uu+Jp)


He nuked us, alright.

Posted by: Emmie at November 19, 2019 12:00 PM (i/wJA)

30 Amateur.

*hic*
*SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!!!!!!!*

Posted by: Hillary at November 19, 2019 12:00 PM (vg8iE)

31 Farting never gets old, and only lying faggits don't claim their poots with pride and vigor.

Posted by: squirrelly dan at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (PoHZ6)

32 so, the best prat of him just leaked out his ass?

Posted by: SturmToddler at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (8D42x)

33 SwallowWell's gaseous exudations are a stark metaphor for the sorry state of the Republic and the Democrat party in particular.

Posted by: Huxley's Eyeglass Emporium at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (h/bx2)

34 A the gold medal goes to...

Greg Looseanus.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (D2sB2)

35 So this is truly surprise anal?

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (LCzNi)

36 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (1XAal)

37 The shocking part is that he has audible farts, iykwim

Posted by: dagny, first of her name at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (nRWPy)

38 The infrared evidence is compelling.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (ZLI7S)

39 "A sphincter says what?"

Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (bDqIh)

40 LOL the InfraRed evidence is the best!!!!

Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (Kpl3J)

41 Letterkenny teaches us what to do when faced with such farts in their Fartbook episode. Shartwell could learn a thing or two from the Canadian rednecks!

Posted by: LizLem at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (hvf9s)

42 Farts!
Double farts!

Posted by: Yo! at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (1XAal)

43 Benny @bennyjohnson
now
JIM JORDAN NUKES SCHIFF ON LIVE TV

Jordan was asking about who was leaking national security information.

Schiff stops him to "protect the whistleblower"

Jordan to Schiff:

"You have said you don't know who the whistleblower is - even though no one believes you."

SAVAGE

Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (BqBId)

44 Ace, you probably missed Vindman demanding Nunes call him "LT. COL." earlier.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (ptqGC)

45

I prefer to characterize it as a queef because he's a vagina.

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (dvxfv)

46 💩

...an analysis of the Crapruder footage clearly shows he paused and flinched at the very moment fire was sent down range...

Yup.

One video snippet is worth a thousand perfumed excuses and denials.

Posted by: mindful webworker - click for squeeze at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (5RITs)

47 Why would a worthless human being like Swalwell get any respect from anyone?

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (Uu+Jp)

48 Why does no Republican ask Vindman or Williams if they were aware that the UKRAINIAN GOVERNMENT prosecuted people for interfering with the US election in 2016.

Posted by: blaster at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (9VeU0)

49 It wasn't a fart, it was a nuke!


Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 11:59 AM (ptqGC)


Snuke?

Posted by: SturmToddler at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (8D42x)

50 I don't care, I'm still not watching MSNBC.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (xfb67)

51 And let me add...

I'm glad Ace got this out of his system early in the morning so we can put it behind us.

Posted by: mindful webworker - click for squeeze at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (5RITs)

52 We sure it wasn't Chris Matthews, the Incontinent Drunk?

Posted by: Allie at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (UnA8+)

53 I'm highly decorated.

Posted by: Christmas tree at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (aKsyK)

54 Next time Swallowswell is being interviewed, the reporter should wear a gas mask.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (ptqGC)

55 #FartGate: Infrared Evidence
******
So now we know where Allahpundit has been

Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (BqBId)

56 Snuke?

Eric the Fart might enjoy that

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (bfAee)

57 Beware the deep fakes deep fartz!!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (bDqIh)

58 AllahPundit:

"tooted"

What is he, a 70 year old woman?

Posted by: Azathoth at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (pDeF1)

59 Who changed Swallowell's diaper after that?

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (CqE5x)

60 When I heard the fart, it made me realize - IT MADE ME REALIZE! That Epstein did not kill himself....

Posted by: CtHillary, Dead but Dreaming... at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (JXKKq)

61 Jordan to Schiff:

"You have said you don't know who the whistleblower is - even though no one believes you."

SAVAGE
Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at November 19, 2019 12:02 PM (BqBId)


That will leave a MARK girlfriend!

Jordan should have asked if Vindman knew Eric Ciarmarella.

Posted by: blaster at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (9VeU0)

62 Swallwell should have channeled Jack Nicholson:
"You're goddamned right I ordered the Code Brown!"

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (T6t7i)

63 Lack of sphincter discipline. Turn in your man card.

Posted by: BluesFish at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (WQZ1O)

64 Smartest thing I've ever heard him say.

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (LCzNi)

65 Can you imagine Allahpundit wasting time defending a fart?

Effing idiot.

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2019 12:04 PM (jUVms)

66 25
Military is required to wear uniform
when testifying to Congress.
Posted by: ArthurK at November 19, 2019 12:00 PM (mI1ez)

Not when they are on detached duty, which Vindman is.

He is not testifying in his military capacity. He is testifying as NSA.

Note, there is no Whistleblower statutes in the Military.

Posted by: Forrest Gump at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (NgKpN)

67
Real men cock an eye, tilt their head, grimace and grunt a bit.

This is the gas of a sodomite, the passing of gas without a hesitation or change in facial expression.





Posted by: Bitter Clinger at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (D2sB2)

68 And let me add...

I'm glad Ace got this out of his system early in the morning so we can put it behind us.

Posted by: mindful webworker - click for squeeze at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (5RITs)

well, it'll be wafting behind in every thread today...

Posted by: SturmToddler at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (8D42x)

69 Oh look, Swallwell tooting his own horn again!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (bDqIh)

70 He who smelt it, dealt it.

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (gmo/4)

71 Queef

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (CDGwz)

72 Lack of sphincter discipline. Turn in your man card.

In fairness to Spitzwell, he probably thought nobody was watching since it was Chris Matthews on MSNBC.

Posted by: Ian S. at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (ZGrMX)

73 "So Mr. Vindaloumon..."

"That's Lieutenant Colonel Vindaloumon."

"Mr. Vindaloumon do you like Chicken Kiev?"

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (bfAee)

74 Not a virgin! - Mayor Buttplug

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (gmo/4)

75 Farting never gets old, and only lying faggits don't claim their poots with pride and vigor.
Posted by: squirrelly dan


On the set of The Princess Bride, Andre the Giant let out a 16 second fart that brought production to a standstill.

And he CLAIMED it.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (XkxK0)

76 Meanwhile Colonel Klink is farting out of his mouth on Capital Hill.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (F73W5)

77 I don't know if I have to turn my Moron card in for saying this, but I never found fart jokes funny. At all. It's a normal and embarrassing body quirk, let it pass and move on.

That being said, the fact that the pretentious Swalwell is now best known for on air tootage, and the butt of many jokes, is HILARIOUS.

Posted by: LizLem at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (hvf9s)

78 This jackass will set army recruitment back ten years.
Would you join if that was what the officers are like?

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (LCzNi)

79 Why are the Republican's playing along with Schiff and acting like THEY don't know who the whistle blower is either. They should say that Schiff MUST know who the WB is because they do too.

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (CqE5x)

80 I'm glad Ace got this out of his system early in the morning so we can put it behind us.
Posted by: mindful webworker - click for squeeze at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (5RITs)

Well done, but you realize we're now going to have whole thread of fart jokes and puns.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (WI7YS)

81 Ooooh, Vindman having to back and fill on his inflated CV.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (T6t7i)

82 LOL get fucked (and change you underwear)

Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (KNsKs)

83 38 The infrared evidence is compelling.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (ZLI7S)

Uh, clearly doctored and taken without his permission.

Therefore we must fine the producer of said video $750,000 dollars

Posted by: California Court at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (NgKpN)

84 @61

Schiff has let it be known that even though he and nobody supposedly knows who the whistle blower is, if any congressman names that person they will immediately be hit with an ethics violation and will be prevented form participating in the shampeacment inquiry.

Posted by: Huxley's Eyeglass Emporium at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (h/bx2)

85 That fart was the most intelligent thing he'd ever said.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (YLq84)

86 Armed rebellion? The American Military has nuclear weapons!

And I personally have biochem weapons and I'm not afraid to use them!

Posted by: Eric Swallowswell at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (O8SrN)

87 Lack of sphincter discipline. Turn in your man card.

In fairness to Spitzwell, he probably thought nobody was watching since it was Chris Matthews on MSNBC.
Posted by: Ian S.


Golf clap

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (XkxK0)

88 I don't know if I have to turn my Moron card in for saying this, but I never found fart jokes funny

I believe we can assume your gender....

Posted by: blaster at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (9VeU0)

89 Holy shit, that infrared one has me in tears lmao

Posted by: JROD at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (qjyU5)

90 Allahpundit probably has hid face up Eric the Fart's fourth point and, though muffled, everyone there heard him exclaim, "It smells of roses!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (bfAee)

91 back, and to the left...

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (KzvQU)

92 On the set of The Princess Bride, Andre the Giant let out a 16 second fart that brought production to a standstill.



And he CLAIMED it.

Posted by: rickb223


Chernobyl: the untold story.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (T6t7i)

93 "So how do you like Chipotle, anyway?"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (YLq84)

94 Real men cock an eye, tilt their head, grimace and grunt a bit.



This is the gas of a sodomite, the passing of gas without a hesitation or change in facial expression.





Posted by: Bitter Clinger at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM (D2sB2)

______


LOL. That's a passage out of the bible, amirite?

Posted by: ShainS -- Trump/Conan the Hero Dog 2020: Two Barbarians for the Price of One!!! at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (WqPYg)

95 May Swallwell be most remembered for this hot air coming from his posterior cheeks rather than his face cheeks.

There's a difference? You sure coulda fooled me.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (HaL55)

96 If this was a fight it would be stopped.

What a disaster.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (ZLI7S)

97
I believe we can assume your gender....
Posted by: blaster at November 19, 2019 12:07 PM (9VeU0)

LOL.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (WI7YS)

98 I don't know if I have to turn my Moron card in for
saying this, but I never found fart jokes funny. At all. It's a normal
and embarrassing body quirk, let it pass and move on.



That being said, the fact that the pretentious Swalwell is now best
known for on air tootage, and the butt of many jokes, is HILARIOUS.

Posted by: LizLem at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (hvf9s)

Liz:We understand. Most ette's think this way. No need to turn in your card.

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (gmo/4)

99 I thought it was cute.

Posted by: Peter Paul Buttigieg at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (CDGwz)

100 Find out who in Ltc "I am the Government" CoC let him wear that uniform today. You'll uncover the rest of the deep state assholes.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (F73W5)

101 >>> I believe we can assume your gender....

How DARE you! *in greta thunberg voice*

Posted by: LizLem at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (hvf9s)

102 I'm glad Ace got this out of his system early in the morning so we can put it behind us.
Posted by: mindful webworker


I wonder if Ace floated an air biscuit to see how this would play out?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (XkxK0)

103 The voice is different but the breath is the same.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserios at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (pw+jk)

104 Pompous oaf, this Vindman.

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (CqE5x)

105 Infowars is reporting that Trump's trip to Walter Reed was over a possible poisoning attempt that is now being investigated by the Secret Service

Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (3aI0K)

106 And now you know how they REALLY named.

Hot Air.

Allahpundit hardest hit.

Posted by: California Court at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (NgKpN)

107 Continued explanations about why his testimony is bs and he should be believed.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (T6t7i)

108 That's how I saw the fart go down.

Posted by: predator at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (PoHZ6)

109 Well, he was talking out of his ass again!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (bDqIh)

110 78
This jackass will set army recruitment back ten years.

Would you join if that was what the officers are like?

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (LCzNi)

_______


If I were China, or Mexico for that matter, I'd invade tomorrow.

Posted by: ShainS -- Trump/Conan the Hero Dog 2020: Two Barbarians for the Price of One!!! at November 19, 2019 12:10 PM (WqPYg)

111 Swallowgate has epitomized the entire 4 years of assault and battery by the Democrats on the Republicans, the government, the Nations Reputation and Donald J. Trump.

One big fart showing the depths of vulgarity and the shitshow they've put on for all these years.

Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist at November 19, 2019 12:10 PM (cxIsI)

112 Here's Turner, doing what should have been done already re:chain of command with Flounder.

Posted by: jhawk90 at November 19, 2019 12:10 PM (Xvo1a)

113 I heard from my friend's uncle's cousin that Swallowwell actually farted 5 times, and the media is coverin it up!

We need the EXACT transcript!

Posted by: DamnedYankee at November 19, 2019 12:10 PM (O8SrN)

114 Sean Davis brings the snark.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserios at November 19, 2019 12:10 PM (pw+jk)

115 Andre the Giant was well known to enjoy a good fart.I mean the guy was a frikkin giant.

Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2019 12:10 PM (KNsKs)

116 Beans, beans, good for the heart.

The more you eat, the more you fart.

The more you fart, the better you feel.

We have beans for every meal!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:10 PM (HaL55)

117 Swallowell is an elevator farter. You can tell by the ease with which he let that rip on national tv.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:10 PM (F73W5)

118 So is Swallowell a whistleblower, or just a leaker?

Posted by: irright at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (pMGkg)

119 Is Vindaloumon's CV as inflated as his sausage body stuffed into a uniform?

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (bfAee)

120 Seems we must fine Mr. Slawell, for his production of an overabundance of Greenhouse gases.

Posted by: EPA at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (NgKpN)

121 Real men cock an eye, tilt their head, grimace and grunt a bit.

This is the gas of a sodomite, the passing of gas without a hesitation or change in facial expression.


Posted by: Bitter Clinger



If this was the gas of a sodomite, you wouldn't hear anything.

You might see drapes ruffle in the breeze amd think a sewer drain backed up.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (XkxK0)

122 Dis ist how I vas vounded - Gas attack!

Posted by: Zombie Hitler at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (gmo/4)

123 And let me add...

I'm glad Ace got this out of his system early in the morning so we can put it behind us.

Posted by: mindful webworker - click for squeeze at November 19, 2019 12:03 PM (5RITs)

well, it'll be wafting behind in every thread today...
Posted by: SturmToddler at November 19, 2019 12:05 PM


The Horde senses there is something in the air.

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (LCzNi)

124 105 Infowars is reporting that Trump's trip to Walter Reed was over a possible poisoning attempt that is now being investigated by the Secret Service
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (3aI0K)

I don't doubt the possibility a deep state representative in the White House kitchen could try that.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (Uu+Jp)

125 I assumed the IR cloud was doctored. It was pretty voluminous.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (T6t7i)

126 >>Swallowell is an elevator farter. You can tell by the ease with which he let that rip on national tv.



He's a crop-duster, for sure!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM (bDqIh)

127 77 I don't know if I have to turn my Moron card in for saying this, but I never found fart jokes funny. At all. It's a normal and embarrassing body quirk, let it pass and move on.

That being said, the fact that the pretentious Swalwell is now best known for on air tootage, and the butt of many jokes, is HILARIOUS.
Posted by: LizLem at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM (hvf9s)

----

I don't disagree. But it is highly unusual. This guy simply isn't a serious player. And to be remembered by this is priceless.

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (jUVms)

128 Funniest fart incident I've seen was a false fart attempt. A number of freshmen on my dorm wing started a fad of lighting their farts. One night, a very drunk member of that club got on his hands and knees on his bed, pulled his shorts down off his butt, and held a lighted match in the proper location. He strained and grunted, and finally a brown nugget popped out. Hilarious!

Posted by: Gref at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (AMIL/)

129 He did that thing you do when you feel a fart getting up some pressure so you check to see if it's wet or lumpy and if it isn't you let fly.

Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (cxIsI)

130 He fills the studio with his lies and his farts, but mostly with...well...both.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Warm Yourself with Rages and Roars from the Outrage Outlet! at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (hLRSq)

131 Recalling Andre the Giant I would be surprised if he not only claimed it but also gave it a name and ranked it against his all time greats.

Posted by: Big V at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (B06Zw)

132 Eric the Fart needs Depends with built-in sound baffles.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (bfAee)

133 99 I thought it was cute.
Posted by: Peter Paul Buttigieg at November 19, 2019 12:08 PM (CDGwz)


Because you thought it was a mating call.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (YLq84)

134 He had to hike a cheek to get that volume.

Posted by: BignJames at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (X/Pw5)

135

Don't blame the dog, blame the coffee cup.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (aKsyK)

136 Six separate videos of this gaseous windbag in one post.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (YVDiH)

137
Swallowswell has announced the Prog/Democrat platform for 2020.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (HaL55)

138 Vindman is a Lt. Colonel. And Swallowalls fart is a coffee mug.

Posted by: wth at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (v0R5T)

139 Sick of hauling my gas around
Wanna run my train alone
But last night's meal tracks straight through my colon
And weighs me like a stone

Three times I've tried to hold it in
Three times my anus gone dry
And one time I've heard my shooting shart
Lighting up MSNBC

Posted by: CtHillary, Dead but Dreaming... at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (JXKKq)

140 He probably had to throw his underwear out after than one.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (NWiLs)

141 Gref, that brown nugget grew up to be Eric the Fart.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (bfAee)

142 LOL. That's a passage out of the bible, amirite?

....

New American Standard.

KJV says:

A righteous man farteth only with great toil and tribute.

But woe upon the man of Sodom, who releases his spirit without remorse or regard.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (D2sB2)

143 Why am I not on Twitter?

Posted by: predator at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (PoHZ6)

144 105
Infowars is reporting that Trump's trip to Walter Reed was over a
possible poisoning attempt that is now being investigated by the Secret
Service

Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (3aI0K)

_______


I'm reading "The Borgias" right now -- that was the primary method of murdering rulers, usually from within the family or fold, for centuries.

Posted by: ShainS -- Trump/Conan the Hero Dog 2020: Two Barbarians for the Price of One!!! at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (WqPYg)

145 Did I hear an echo? It bounced like a sonar echo-location impulse.

Posted by: Fritz at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (2Mnv1)

146 Infowars is reporting that Trump's trip to Walter Reed was over a possible poisoning attempt that is now being investigated by the Secret Service
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (3aI0K)

Well if Infowars is reporting that, it has gotta be true?

LOL

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (cEsBM)

147 I don't know if I have to turn my Moron card in for saying this, but I never found fart jokes funny. At all.

It's a normal and embarrassing body quirk, let it pass and move on.

-----

ISWYDT....

Posted by: fixerupper at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (8XRCm)

148

Alternate post title:

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (dvxfv)

149 Now talent would be if he'd farted out the words "Epstein didn't kill himself"

Posted by: DamnedYankee at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (O8SrN)

150 Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (jUVms)


WHY is farting embarassing? If it's such a NATURAL thing why?

We don't get embarassed if we blink our eyelids or when we breathe.


Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (cxIsI)

151 If I run into Vindman in the street do I have to call him Lt. Col? Once I've escaped the grip of belly fat, I mean.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (Uu+Jp)

152 @63 Bluefish-"sphincter discipline" sounds like a future how to book. I've crop dusted the elderly and small children while out on dates just to not drop ass in front of a woman. You know that move when you act like you're going to check on your vehicle or pretend to use the restroom.

Posted by: JROD at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (qjyU5)

153 he CLAIMED it.
Nobody believed Billy Crystal.

Posted by: DaveA at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (FhXTo)

154 141 Gref, that brown nugget grew up to be Eric the Fart.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (bfAee)


I knew I'd seen Swallowswell someplace before!

Posted by: Gref at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (AMIL/)

155 Borgias?

Oh yeah the Eternity Powder. May the Democrats think it is some kind of new blow.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (bfAee)

156 Don Jr: "Most intelligible thing to come out of Swalwell in years."

LOL

Posted by: DR.WTF at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (aS1PU)

157 He had to hike a cheek to get that volume.

All Prog/Democrats who appear on Progda propaganda shows are wired up with two microphones.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (HaL55)

158 There is absolutely no doubt this asshole is setting back respect for the military. With both his words and actions. This clown essentially said HE sets policy and is in the best position to make that judgment.

Really Captain Obvious?

Whatever happened to protect and defend the Constitution that states we have a CiNC?

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (F73W5)

159 He looks like he just cleared his colon of some very precious Prom Memories, if you catch my drift.

...

Lt. Colonel Ace of Spades, 1st Cav, bringing the artillery.

Posted by: TexasDan at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (yL25O)

160 Infowars is reporting that Trump's trip to Walter Reed was over a possible poisoning attempt that is now being investigated by the Secret Service
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (3aI0K)

Did Swallowell fart in front of Trump too?

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (CqE5x)

161 Only members of the military are required to call him Lt. Col. Civilians are free to call him whatever the f'k they want.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (xfb67)

162
I shall rename that asshole "Petulant Flatulent"

Posted by: fixerupper at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (8XRCm)

163 I can feel it coming in the air tonight....hold on.

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (gmo/4)

164 We don't get embarassed if we blink our eyelids or when we breathe.



Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist


The anus is inherently amusing.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (T6t7i)

165 151 If I run into Vindman in the street do I have to call him Lt. Col? Once I've escaped the grip of belly fat, I mean.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (Uu+Jp)

Call him a disgusting fatbody and/or Private Pyle.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (NWiLs)

166 I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, Oh Lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (XkxK0)

167 Quade ... open your mind to me .. Quade.

Posted by: Swallowall's Belly at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (KzvQU)

168 New American Standard.



KJV says:



A righteous man farteth only with great toil and tribute.



But woe upon the man of Sodom, who releases his spirit without remorse or regard.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (D2sB2)

_______


I'm crying here ...

Posted by: ShainS -- Trump/Conan the Hero Dog 2020: Two Barbarians for the Price of One!!! at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (WqPYg)

169 Did I hear an echo? It bounced like a sonar echo-location impulse.

"Prog asshole says what?"

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (HaL55)

170 If I run into Vindman in the street do I have to call him Lt. Col?

If he runs into me in Uniform that fat bastard better snap to Attention. He has been warned

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (cEsBM)

171 140 He probably had to throw his underwear out after than one.

>>Something I've learned as I got into my 70's.

Posted by: dingbat at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (Qkbqn)

172 If you had sphincters over your eyes and emitted foul smelling gases from them, we'd laugh when you blinked too.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (xfb67)

173 There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright
Fernado. braaaaapppppp

Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (cxIsI)

174 Did I hear an echo? It bounced like a sonar echo-location impulse.
Posted by: Fritz at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (2Mnv1)


Dolphins all over the world were momentarily disoriented.

Posted by: DR.WTF at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (aS1PU)

175 Eric the Fart just betrayed how Democrats get the new uploaded talking points

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (bfAee)

176 Is Vindaloumon's CV as inflated as his sausage body stuffed into a uniform?





Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:11 PM

---

If he was in any unit I was ever stationed with, he would have been on mandatory PT and kicked out within a year if he didn't get within standards.


That guy is way out of standards.

Posted by: Mr. Scott (Formerly GWS) at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (JUOKG)

177 WHY is farting embarassing? If it's such a NATURAL thing why?

We don't get embarassed if we blink our eyelids or when we breathe.


Posted by: jakee308



It has something to do with burning other's nose hairs.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (XkxK0)

178 Hope Nunes will ask Vindy the date of his last PT Test and Taping.

Posted by: dingbat at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (Qkbqn)

179
Call him a disgusting fatbody and/or Private Pyle.
Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:16 PM (NWiLs)

----

Lt Colonel Colonel Jelly Doughnut.

(belted out in Gunnys voice)

Posted by: fixerupper at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (8XRCm)

180 The anus is inherently amusing.
Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (T6t7i)


---------

Agree!

Posted by: Pete Buttigeg at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (jUVms)

181 That being said, the fact that the pretentious
Swalwell is now best known for on air tootage, and the butt of many
jokes, is HILARIOUS.

Posted by: LizLem at November 19, 2019 12:06 PM


Now he's "Duke Nuke'em" for *two* reasons.

Posted by: Bert G at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (OMsf+)

182 What a piker! - Hillary's anus

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (gmo/4)

183 Someday, God forbid, there will be a Dem in the WH, and a GOP (hopefully with a spine) majority in the House. With all of these coup attempts against PDT, one has to wonder if the Dems have thought out what is going to happen to them when they occupy the WH.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (N39Ws)

184 "Did I hear an echo? It bounced like a sonar echo-location impulse."

One ping only? He's trying to defect!

Or defecate. Hard to tell in this case.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (IUwuf)

185 -
--
Well if Infowars is reporting that, it has gotta be true?

LOL
Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM

--------------

Probably a better chance than CNN.

Posted by: irright at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (pMGkg)

186 If I run into Vindman in the street do I have to call him Lt. Col?
..........

Sure, just be sure to back up over him a couple times.

Posted by: wth at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (v0R5T)

187 > The anus is inherently amusing.

Two things that are universally funny across all human cultures:
1) Farts
2) Some guy getting bashed in the nuts.
You know, the cultured, intellectual comedy fare.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (oQp6r)

188 If he runs into me in Uniform that fat bastard better snap to Attention. He has been warned

NGU - Don't forget your tie-wraps and pliers.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (bfAee)

189 I saw Sphincter Discipline open up for Butthole Surfers at CBGB's back in '98.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (HaL55)

190 SmFart Power, deployed to get attention ... it worked.

Posted by: illiniwek at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (Cus5s)

191


Shartwell.

I see how much he cares about all of this, he lets one rip right in the middle of a very important statement about it.

I am picturing that slob Matthews' face when he heard that fart in his earpiece. LOL

Posted by: Rev. Dr. E Buzz Miller, Lesbian at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (ikxxu)

192 182
What a piker! - Hillary's anus


Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (gmo/4)
Hillary's anus: Don't talk with your mouth full.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (N39Ws)

193 100+ fart jokes so...

Haven't seen/heard it yet but I hear tell Glen Beck has a utube vid that is, um, interesting and blows impeachment crappola out of the water.

Posted by: teej at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (hbjKv)

194 > Posted by: ArthurK at November 19, 2019 12:00 PM (mI1ez)

Not when they are on detached duty, which Vindman is.

He is not testifying in his military capacity. He is testifying as NSA.

Posted by: Forrest Gump

------

Ahhh, good to know. Thanks.

Posted by: ArthurK at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (mI1ez)

195 That's gonna itch when it dries out...

Posted by: Grapefruit LaCroix at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (y13ny)

196 What's the difference between Swallwell and a refrigerator?

Posted by: The fridge doesn't fart when you put the meat out at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (QxZ1F)

197 150 Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2019 12:12 PM (jUVms)


WHY is farting embarassing? If it's such a NATURAL thing why?

We don't get embarassed if we blink our eyelids or when we breathe.


Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist at November 19, 2019 12:14 PM (cxIsI)

...

Do you tend to clear the room when you blink?

And breathing isn't embarrassing but halitosis sure is.

Posted by: TexasDan at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (yL25O)

198 I'm not downing laughing at farts. Farts are always funny.

I was responding to the comment about being embarassed by a fart.

Hmmm. Em Bare Assed?

Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (cxIsI)

199 F-A-R-TEEEE: 10% substance and 90% aroma.

S-H-I-TEEEE: 90% substance and 10% aroma.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserios at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (pw+jk)

200 Eric Squeezewell. He regret this behavior when he turns 29 years old.

Posted by: Fritz at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (2Mnv1)

201 Career LTC staff officers are gofers for generals.

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (gmo/4)

202 UCMJ Article 88. He should be taken out of their in cuffs my Military Police.
Posted by: Don Q

Probably true, and you would know better than I as you are a former Navy guy.

Nothing will happen to him. He is a Media Darling, and the Army won't touch him. Bad optics, bad PR, etc.

And this is how morale and discipline die.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....outlaw in America at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (vcOmj)

203 Oooh, the congressman used colloquy. Points for that.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (T6t7i)

204 Has Chris Matthews been sober recently?

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (Uu+Jp)

205 Good thing he was not giving that interview from the International Space Station. He'd be bouncing around like a pinball.

Posted by: moon_over_vermont at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (kUmUV)

206 The horrible sound came from his front hole.

Posted by: Galil at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (Pzzpr)

207 https://media.giphy.com
/media/bbrYGGq7JNARRp0FuY/giphy.gif
Could someone please combine this gif with shartwell infrared, please

Posted by: he who denies it, supplied it. at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (vqIkG)

208 >>44 Ace, you probably missed Vindman demanding Nunes call him "LT. COL." earlier.


I caught it a few minutes after. Imma call him Captain Bearclaw.

Posted by: ace at November 19, 2019 12:20 PM (PbpT7)

209 Vindmon looks like such a weasel.

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:20 PM (CqE5x)

210 206 The horrible sound came from his front hole.
Posted by: Galil at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (Pzzpr)

----

LOL

Posted by: Pete Buttigeg at November 19, 2019 12:20 PM (jUVms)

211 -
--
Someday, God forbid, there will be a Dem in the WH, and a GOP (hopefully with a spine) majority in the House. With all of these coup attempts against PDT, one has to wonder if the Dems have thought out what is going to happen to them when they occupy the WH.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM

----------------------

I predict he GOP won't do dick. And we'll have another administration "with not a whiff of scandal".

Posted by: irright at November 19, 2019 12:20 PM (pMGkg)

212 I don't see why this is a big deal. Every time he opens his mouth, its just another form of farting.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 19, 2019 12:21 PM (I2dne)

213 > Swalwell is on the Intelligence Committee.


Along with Schiff-for-brains and Ho Queen Castro, don't forget. The Castro Street brothers make George Takei look manly.


The Senate counterpart has Two Buck Chuck Schumer and Kamaltoe Harris.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2019 12:21 PM (oQp6r)

214 Ace, you probably missed Vindman demanding Nunes call him "LT. COL." earlier.




Fuck you. You work for me boy.



Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:21 PM (gmo/4)

215 asking for Swallowell Are farts runny ?

Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at November 19, 2019 12:21 PM (BqBId)

216 Hard balling often has that consequence.

Posted by: Peter Paul Buttigieg at November 19, 2019 12:21 PM (CDGwz)

217

Nunes shoulda said, "Okay, boomer," to vindman.

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2019 12:21 PM (dvxfv)

218 I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales. Laughing at farting has been around for a long time.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (Uu+Jp)

219 > Ace, you probably missed Vindman demanding Nunes call him "LT. COL." earlier.

I'd start calling him "Light Colonel", just to be a dick.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (oQp6r)

220 >"I'm crying here ."

It's in the wake of events like this that the moron horde rises to the occasion.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (YVDiH)

221 Captain Bearclaw?

Insult to decent Captains everywhere and a good pastry.

Vindaloumon is more a rotten banana sundae

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (bfAee)

222 Last night the @Hardball twitter handle posted this pic:

https://tinyurl.com/uggsdgv

Then it disappeared.

Posted by: Tami at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (cF8AT)

223 Oh, FFS. "There have been reprisals". We have their new charge.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (T6t7i)

224 185 -
--
Well if Infowars is reporting that, it has gotta be true?

LOL
Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM

--------------

Probably a better chance than CNN.
Posted by: irright at November 19, 2019 12:18 PM (pMGkg)

And literally all the MSM outlets including ConservativeInc.

Posted by: predator at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (PoHZ6)

225 I'd start calling him "Light Colonel", just to be a dick.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (oQp6r)


Less filling!

Posted by: Shep at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (aS1PU)

226 Nunes shoulda said, "Okay, boomer," to vindman.
Posted by: Soothsayer


*snort

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (XkxK0)

227 an anonymous source told me Vindman is a pedophile.

Posted by: wth at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (v0R5T)

228 Does this mean he fart raped Chris Matthews?

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (xfb67)

229 lol, Sean Davis and Jr.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (1CjJc)

230 146 Infowars is reporting that Trump's trip to Walter Reed was over a possible poisoning attempt that is now being investigated by the Secret Service
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (3aI0K)

Well if Infowars is reporting that, it has gotta be true?
LOL
Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (cEsBM)

The possible poisoning was suspected after Trump accidentally stood next to Eric Swallowell and took a few breaths.

Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (Kpl3J)

231 No way this bulbous carb laden fatass passed the ACFT

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (F73W5)

232 >>> He probably had to throw his underwear out after than one. Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (NWiLs)


I can relate!!

Posted by: Al Roker in the WH at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (hvf9s)

233 He nuked the room.

Posted by: Harlock at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (ZAMK+)

234 Mebbe he was trying to wake up Chrissie Matthews.

Posted by: Caliban at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (QE8X6)

235 wafting over to other news ... the video with Gen. Spalding is good, on recognizing the China threat, and the Engineering of Global Consent (more seditious than the old "Manufacturing Consent").


The training of the Youth to hate the heritage of their parents, and to serve the state, is happening not just in China ... look at our youth and their devotion to the computer screens and phones.


https://tinyurl.com/ra4q829

Posted by: illiniwek at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM (Cus5s)

236 Ace, you probably missed Vindman demanding Nunes call him "LT. COL." earlier.




Fuck you. You work for me boy.



Posted by: Archer
--------

I would start calling him 'soldier'.

You pretty well know that you've fucked up when a superior uses that term of address.

Posted by: Peter Paul Buttigieg at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM (CDGwz)

237 The 'break wind' segment played backwards at half-speed sounds like 'Epstein didn't kill himself.' Weird.

Posted by: Cheetos Cutter at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM (4ceyg)

238 LTC Cupcake

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM (gmo/4)

239 Armed rebellion? The American Military has nuclear weapons!
And I personally have biochem weapons and I'm not afraid to use them!


*********

Escalation - a limerick

Swallwell has issued rebukes
Towards all of us "gun-owning pukes
His ominous threats
are as bad as it gets
Now he's started deploying the 'nukes'!

Posted by: Muldoon at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM (m45I2)

240 If he was in any unit I was ever stationed with, he would have been on mandatory PT and kicked out within a year if he didn't get within standards.


That guy is way out of standards.
Posted by: Mr. Scott (Formerly GWS) at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (JUOKG)

Hell, I've never been in the military and could tell that. He's fifty pounds of shit stuffed in a ten-pound sack.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM (NWiLs)

241 Sounds tight.

Posted by: Mayor Peter at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (v0R5T)

242 Does this mean he fart raped Chris Matthews?
Posted by: sniffybigtoe



He fart raped America!

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (XkxK0)

243 Girl power!

https://bit.ly/2XrNNHT

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (+y/Ru)

244 Col Flounder just learned today, during his testimony, that Hunder Biden had that sweet no-show job at Burisma.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (xfb67)

245 The shart heard round the world.

Posted by: Caliban at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (QE8X6)

246 "209 Vindmon looks like such a weasel."

The face, yes. The body is that of a fat, disgusting pig and a disgrace to the uniform.

Posted by: Trump poisoned my cat at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (iw59Q)

247 Call him "Pillsbury Dough Boy"

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (bfAee)

248 Seems to me I've heard Lt Col's mostly called Colonel rather than the entire rank.

Just like Ltjg's are called Lieutenant mostly and Lieutenant Commanders called Commanders.

That's in general conversation and not during a formal setting of some sort.

Sarge for all Sergeants.

Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (cxIsI)

249
the real Eric Cartman

Eric Farts Fire!
https://tinyurl.com/toxzcfk

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (vEIlU)

250 Oooo, a virgin!

Posted by: Pete Buttgig at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (NWiLs)

251 105
Infowars is reporting that Trump's trip to Walter Reed was over a
possible poisoning attempt that is now being investigated by the Secret
Service

Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (3aI0K)


Its not a attempted coup though because the dictionaries say coups have to be fast decapitations and poisons are slow. Stupid Drumpfers

Posted by: SJW NPC at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (ymnmz)

252 Vindman is nervous and wishy-washy today for two reasons:

1. He's very afraid of perjury charges.

2. As with Christine Blatant Lies Ford, he never expected to have to talk about his claims in sworn depositions, let alone in sworn, public testimony to Congress. And Schiff and his cronies never expected those events, either, especially a public Committee Hearing.

Posted by: Gref at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (AMIL/)

253 Oops. /Nasty Peter Paul Butterjug sock

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (CDGwz)

254 It's obvious from the way Vindman responds to both Republicans and Democrats that he is in the bag for the Democrats.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (ZLI7S)

255 Hell, I've never been in the military and could tell that. He's fifty pounds of shit stuffed in a ten-pound sack.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM


The unofficial definition of a 'blivet'.

Posted by: Bert G at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (OMsf+)

256 >>> an anonymous source told me Vindman is a pedophile.
Posted by: wth at November 19, 2019 12:23 PM (v0R5T)

It must be true then! These are the new rules now. Sorry Vindman, I don't make the rules.

Posted by: LizLem at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (hvf9s)

257 Vindman is toast. They're setting hm up for perjury and leaking.

Posted by: davo at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (sMLEE)

258 Oh, no. She had "chills up and down her spine". Blow it out your drama queen ass.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (T6t7i)

259 Oh fer crying out loud.

Vindman's opening statement gave whatshername "chills up and down her spine."

Heh. And now Vindman is getting some shit for demanding to be called "LT. COLONEL."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (ptqGC)

260 235 wafting over to other news ... the video with Gen. Spalding is good, on recognizing the China threat, and the Engineering of Global Consent (more seditious than the old "Manufacturing Consent").


The training of the Youth to hate the heritage of their parents, and to serve the state, is happening not just in China ... look at our youth and their devotion to the computer screens and phones.


https://tinyurl.com/ra4q829
Posted by: illiniwek at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM (Cus5s)

Hell, I remember about 10 years ago or so, Al Gore gave some speech where he told college students "You know so much more than your parents do..."

Posted by: Allie at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (UnA8+)

261 I would have told Bearclaw that as a civilian and member of Congress I will refer to him as "Hey You".

I've never seen a military officer demand that of a civilian. Ever.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (F73W5)

262 There is a Uranus joke in here somewhere, butt I just can't put my finger on it.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (1CjJc)

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserios at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (pw+jk)

264 This is somewhat interesting.
https://tinyurl.com/s6bzeva

Posted by: Xipe Totec at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (Vgz5H)

265 I LIKE WHAT THIS GUY HAS TO SAY

Posted by: FAAAAAAAART at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (lTllX)

266 Enlisteds and NCOs everywhere hate officers like Vindman.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (ptqGC)

267 218 I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales. Laughing at farting has been around for a long time.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (Uu+Jp)

I absolutely believe our ancestors sat around a campfire eating mammoth meat under the glow from the glaciers, and laughed about farting. And about that time the big mammoth gave Thag a nutshot with his tusk.

Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (Kpl3J)

268 oh. pardon me

Posted by: FAAAAAAAART at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (lTllX)

269 May Vindaloumon combust spontaneously on live TV due to his lies and his rolls of fat generating friction from his too tight uniform.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (bfAee)

270 > Oh yeah the Eternity Powder.


I've also hear "Inheritance Powder".
Renaissance Italy was an exciting time and place to live. Never a dull moment.

I've also heard that, contrary to current table manners, you were expected to keep your elbows on the table at all times, because putting your hand out of sight in your lap meant that you might be going for a knife or something.



Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (oQp6r)

271 I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.

Failed businesses, failed marriages, public humiliations.


But at least I never shit my pants on television.

Posted by: Sharkman at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (fp3O8)

272 It was definitely Swalwell's toot. He stopped talking to fart then resumed talking immediately without a pause. His fart and his words flowed together seamlessly like any democrat-uttered sentence.

With all this attention, I bet he wishes he thought of farting on mic during his answers at the debates before he quit. Then he could have at least paid off his campaign debt with some fart swag.

Ben Franklin is smiling today.

Posted by: Rich at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (/Zade)

273 I'd start calling him "Light Colonel", just to be a dick.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (oQp6r)

----

"Not Quite a Colonel" is the official title.

Posted by: fixerupper at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (8XRCm)

274 Regarding Bearclaw, tell me that mouth hasn't seen a few dicks.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (F73W5)

275 And exactly, what are you, an officer of - Mr Vindman?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (O8SrN)

276 As with Christine Blatant Lies Ford,
=====

Speaking of, I saw yesterday where she was given yet another award... ACLU I think.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (vg8iE)

277
Fly By - a limerick

"Sphincter tone shouldn't be trusted"
Said an eyewitness newly disgusted
With that Swallwell blast
Good lord, we've been gassed
And the news room has now been crop-dusted!

Posted by: Muldoon at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (m45I2)

278

My favorite part was when Vindman said, "I can't possibly know the whistleblower because I lost the ability to sweat during the Iraq war."

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (dvxfv)

279 A righteous man farteth only with great toil and tribute.

The sun was risen upon the earth when Swallowell entered into an anal roar.

Posted by: CtHillary, Dead but Dreaming... at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (JXKKq)

280 Anybody seen a photoshop of Rosie O in Vindman's uniform? Because the resemblance is uncanny.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (1CjJc)

281 255 Hell, I've never been in the military and could tell that. He's fifty pounds of shit stuffed in a ten-pound sack.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM

The unofficial definition of a 'blivet'.
Posted by: Bert G at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (OMsf+)

He also has no clue what's going on around him. I guess he's oblivetous.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (NWiLs)

282 208 >>44 Ace, you probably missed Vindman demanding Nunes call him "LT. COL." earlier.


I caught it a few minutes after. Imma call him Captain Bearclaw.

Posted by: ace at November 19, 2019 12:20 PM (PbpT7)


Wait - he requested that the representative call him Lt. Col.? What a prima donna.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Warm Yourself with Rages and Roars from the Outrage Outlet! at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (hLRSq)

283 Nunes should call in Oliver North as a surprise witness.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (bfAee)

284 @260 Allie-you read illiniwek's post and missed the "wafting" part?

Posted by: JROD at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (qjyU5)

285 >>He looks like he just cleared his colon of some very precious Prom Memories, if you catch my drift.


Hahaha - First thing I read all day and this little nugget is burried in there.

Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (0/eGj)

286 I'm more convinced than ever, that LT. COLONEL Vindman sleeps in his uniform.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (ptqGC)

287 It would be great if everyone in Congress refuses to ride in an elevator with Rep. Shartwell.

Posted by: Paladin at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (KX5Wh)

288 I've never seen a military officer demand that of a civilian. Ever.
Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (F73W5)
+++++++++++
He's not entitled to the use of his rank by a civilian. It's often considered polite, but it is not mandatory. The armed forces work for the civilian government. Nunes is in the civilian government. He could call Vindman whatever he wanted to. I suspect calling him "shit breath" would violate Congressional rules, but it would not violate military ones.

Nunes would have been well within his rights to call him on that and say, "as a member of the military, you are subordinate to the civilian government and how I address you is not in your purview."

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (I2dne)

289 218
I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales. Laughing at farting has been around for a long time.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (Uu+Jp)

Good Sir Swallwell let flee a thunderdent for sure

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (ymnmz)

290 If Swalwell asks a question during the hearings would a loud fart be an appropriate response?

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (Uu+Jp)

291 >> Ace, you probably missed Vindman demanding Nunes call him "LT. COL." earlier.


"OK. Ma'am."

Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (0/eGj)

292 Hahaha - First thing I read all day and this little nugget is burried in there.


Swallowall also had a nugget buried in there.

Posted by: Swallowall's Belly at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (KzvQU)

293 No such thing as bad publicity?

He should re-announce his presidential bid today on the promise to live toot on any debate stage he manages to make. He could rip one out at each of his rallies as his closing argument. He could make it his "thing."

Posted by: Frankovich's Monster at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (hdzef)

294 I would have told Bearclaw that as a civilian and member of Congress I will refer to him as "Hey You".



I've never seen a military officer demand that of a civilian. Ever.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM


It's ingrained into the mindset of the left that academic credentials, titles, and ranks are more important than competence. See also: Boxer, Barbara "Call Me Senator".

Posted by: Bert G at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (OMsf+)

295 NEWS: SWALWELL denies it was him who farted on MSNBC:

-
So there was a second farter on the gassy knoll?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (+y/Ru)

296 For some years, my immediate CO was an LtC.

I *never* addressed him as 'Lieutenant Colonel', nor did I ever hear anyone else, superior or not, use that form of direct address.

Vindman has a serious ego problem. Not a good quality in an officer.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (CDGwz)

297 288 I've never seen a military officer demand that of a civilian. Ever.
Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:26 PM (F73W5)

So did Nunes say call me Congressman extraordinaire?

Posted by: It's me donna at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (6XlcD)

298 Herr OberstLeutnant Vindaloumon was in charge of fetching pastries for everyone.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:30 PM (bfAee)

299 266 Enlisteds and NCOs everywhere hate officers like Vindman.

Add officers to that list of folks that hate officers like this fat boy.

Posted by: dingbat at November 19, 2019 12:30 PM (Qkbqn)

300 Speaking of not sweating - thank G-D the media has found out that only Prince Andrew hung around with Epstein. I guess his pervert reach was a lot smaller than we all imagined!

Posted by: DamnedYankee at November 19, 2019 12:30 PM (O8SrN)

301 295 NEWS: SWALWELL denies it was him who farted on MSNBC:

-
So there was a second farter on the gassy knoll?

A Whistle blower?

Posted by: It's me donna at November 19, 2019 12:30 PM (6XlcD)

302 Shartwell.



I see how much he cares about all of this, he lets one rip right in the middle of a very important statement about it.



I am picturing that slob Matthews' face when he heard that fart in his earpiece. LOL


STOP THE HAMMERING!!!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:30 PM (HaL55)

303 Col Flounder just learned today, during his testimony, that Hunder Biden had that sweet no-show job at Burisma.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (xfb67)
-------
The expert on Ukraine? The potential Ukrainian Foreign Minister? The hell you say!

Posted by: jhawk90 at November 19, 2019 12:30 PM (Xvo1a)

304 Vindman is stammering and stuttering all over the place.

Deep State spineless POS.


And now Tom Arnold is kissing up to him.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:31 PM (ptqGC)

305 "254 It's obvious from the way Vindman responds to both Republicans and Democrats that he is in the bag for the Democrats."

He's been on the NSC since 2018. Vindman probably has been responsible for much of the leaking since that time.

Posted by: Trump poisoned my cat at November 19, 2019 12:31 PM (iw59Q)

306 NEWS: SWALWELL denies it was him who farted on MSNBC:
-------

Hmm. Press release? As it were. I wonder how NPR will handle this?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 19, 2019 12:31 PM (CDGwz)

307 Excellent trap for Vindman. Well done, Mr. Stevens.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:31 PM (T6t7i)

308

Smug little weasel being questioned by Congressman R-UT.

wow

partisan hackery
and using his uniform and the fact that he was in the military to whine like a little beatch. What a disgrace to our military.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:31 PM (vEIlU)

309 May Vindaloumon combust spontaneously on live TV due to his lies and his rolls of fat generating friction from his too tight uniform.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (bfAee)
..........

He does look like he might at least pop a few buttons.

Posted by: wth at November 19, 2019 12:31 PM (v0R5T)

310
I predict he GOP won't do dick. And we'll have another administration "with not a whiff of scandal".
Posted by: irright at November 19, 2019 12:20 PM


I predict it will be hot in the summertime and cold in the wintertime.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 19, 2019 12:31 PM (aKsyK)

311 By the end of this he is going to be asked to know as Lt Col I'm Going To Live The Rest Of My Life As A Gay Man.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (ZLI7S)

312 Howard Stern was obsessed with farting for a long time. The humor never ever appealed to me.

Posted by: Easy Andy at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (2DOZq)

313 Eric "it wasn't me" Swalwell.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (Uu+Jp)

314 301 295 NEWS: SWALWELL denies it was him who farted on MSNBC:
-
So there was a second farter on the gassy knoll?

A Whistle blower?
Posted by: It's me donna at November 19, 2019 12:30 PM (6XlcD)

more of a trumpet blower, I'd say!

Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (Kpl3J)

315 276 As with Christine Blatant Lies Ford,
=====

Speaking of, I saw yesterday where she was given yet another award... ACLU I think.
Posted by: bicentennialguy at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (vg8iE)


Classic Red maneuver: giving awards to operatives and then referring to them as the "award-winning" shithead in hopes of imbuing them with a certain (undeserved) authority.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (YLq84)

316 Michael J. Pollard's dumber brother now posing intel questions to the tools.

Posted by: impeachment swish at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (WX+x0)

317 Willowed: 344 https://tinyurl.com/shvj2d8

Source for the twatter link on live organ harvesting in previous comment thread. It's quite comprehensive.

Goes aback to 1995.

Halal bit is undocumented but that appears due to the source fearing harm to his relatives still in china.




Posted by: Enquiring Minds Want to Know at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (XzVUd)

318 I hate fart and poop humor, but I have to say that investigational infrared video was hilarious.

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (6kwmB)

319 316
Michael J. Pollard's dumber brother now posing intel questions to the tools.

Posted by: impeachment swish


Thankyou! I couldn't figure out who he looked like.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (T6t7i)

320 Colonel Blimp

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (aKsyK)

321 Vindman has a serious ego problem. Not a good quality in an officer.

It's an essential requirement for our Deep State Swamp Overlords, however. It's for our own good, donchaknow, since we're so busy humping our sisters and bitterly clinging to our guns to have an IQ.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (HaL55)

322 >>
I'd start calling him "Light Colonel", just to be a dick.


I would call him a fat asshole.

Posted by: Galil at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (Pzzpr)

323 295
NEWS: SWALWELL denies it was him who farted on MSNBC:



-

So there was a second farter on the gassy knoll?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (+y/R


ITS FUNNY CAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS HE WHO DENIES IT SUPPLIES IT!

Posted by: Ben Rothlisbergergler at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (ymnmz)

324 Michael J. Pollard's dumber brother now posing intel questions to the tools.
Posted by: impeachment swish at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (WX+x0)

That's who I was thinking of. Pollard.

Thanks.

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (CqE5x)

325 "Posted by: Bert G at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (OMsf+)"

That super fantastic if you want to live in civilian land. In the military it's a title of respect and rank. You live by the code and regulations. On the other hand, this asshole wants to leverage his rank to try and intimidate or cow people on the civilian side.

Mr. Fucking Blue Falcon Fobbit needs a good ass licking.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (F73W5)

326 Vindman is toast. They're setting hm up for perjury and leaking.
Posted by: davo



They've had him on leaking charges any time they wanted him. The fact that they excluded him from trips and meetings because he leaked is proof.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (MjyI6)

327 237 The 'break wind' segment played backwards at half-speed sounds like 'Epstein didn't kill himself.' Weird.
Posted by: Cheetos Cutter at November 19, 2019 12:24 PM (4ceyg)

hahahahahaha

Posted by: overit at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (sI15f)

328 To be fair, men should never fart in front of women.

Posted by: squirrelly dan at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (PoHZ6)

329 more of a trumpet blower, I'd say!

Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (Kpl3J)

He prefers the skinflute.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (1CjJc)

330 Too bad they don't make f*** policy. The Pres does. What part of that eludes you.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (T6t7i)

331 It would serve this hack right if every time he enters an Officers' Club, he's shunned.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (ptqGC)

332 "146 Infowars is reporting that Trump's trip to Walter Reed was over a possible poisoning attempt that is now being investigated by the Secret Service
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:09 PM (3aI0K)

Well if Infowars is reporting that, it has gotta be true?

LOL

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 19, 2019 12:13 PM (cEsBM) "




Know whatcha mean, but these days, considering the levels of rage and insanity on the enemy side I gotta rank this as "plausible".
In any case, we'll never know.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (JwHjN)

333 Mickey Rooney > Michael J. Pollard

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (KzvQU)

334 I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales. Laughing at farting has been around for a long time.
Posted by: N.L. Urker

----

Also, a line I remember is "Oh, milady has a beard!" after some sweet thing stuck her bottom out of a window.

But it's been 45 years.

--

These jamokes at the hearing - it is beyond belief that any of them thinks this charade will make them appear stronger to us.

Posted by: Tonypete at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (Y4EXg)

335 A Democrat just asked if it would ever be appropriate for the President to ask about opening a political investigation and Vindman said yes lol. What a disaster.

Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (3aI0K)

336 Someone should ask Vindman if Epstein killed himself.

Posted by: TexasDan at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (yL25O)

337 328 To be fair, men should never fart in front of women.
Posted by: squirrelly dan at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (PoHZ6)

Always sneak up behind them before letting one rip.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (NWiLs)

338 Military uniforms transform lies into truth and opinions into fact.

And were supposed to pretend the left likes and respects the military now? LOL.

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (6kwmB)

339 eday, God forbid, there will be a Dem in the WH, and a GOP (hopefully with a spine) majority in the House. With all of these coup attempts against PDT, one has to wonder if the Dems have thought out what is going to happen to them when they occupy the WH.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (N39Ws)

I admire you're optimism, but that's pretty funny.

we all know the gope won't do a fucking thing because that's not who they are.

it would be awesome, but it'll never happen.

Posted by: SturmToddler at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (8D42x)

340 The Senator that just made Vindman look like a fool should have asked him if he wears his uniform every day, or just for appearances before Congress.

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (CqE5x)

341 Vindaloumon gives FOBBITs a bad name.

He is a Chateau General. Just look at his waist line.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (bfAee)

342 [iI hate fart and poop humor, but I have to say that investigational infrared video was hilarious.
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (6kwmB)

I do too. Yet the Tesla series have built-in fart sounds that you can set to different seats in the car, or turn on and off at random. Some dumb kids designing the software sides on the Tesla's.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (vEIlU)

343 And all this time I thought Thor was the God of Thunder.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (+y/Ru)

344 318
I hate fart and poop humor, but I have to say that investigational infrared video was hilarious.

Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (6kwmB)


I agree. There is not one thing funny about it.

Posted by: Chlamydia Thundershart's fainting spells at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (ymnmz)

345 Howard Stern was obsessed with farting for a long time. The humor never ever appealed to me.

But but but Howard Sperm is really really smart. He and his psychophants tell us that every day.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (HaL55)

346 Michael J. Pollard's dumber brother now posing intel questions to the tools.

Posted by: impeachment swish at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (WX+x0)

I knew I'd seen that guy before.

Posted by: BignJames at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (X/Pw5)

347 I have learned to ignore the opinions of people who begin sentences with "so...". It speaks to a weak mind.

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (T6t7i)

348 The Senator that just made Vindman look like a fool should have asked him if he wears his uniform every day, or just for appearances before Congress.
Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:34 PM (CqE5x)


he did

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (vEIlU)

349 rumor yesterday that Trump's food taster died

Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (3aI0K)

350 35
So this is truly surprise anal?

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (LCzNi)

Isn't it an after-effect?

Posted by: Off the reservation at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (XzVUd)

351 Here's Flamethrower Stefanik!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (ptqGC)

352 And the wind
cried
BRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP

Posted by: Zombie Jimmy Hendrix at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (O8SrN)

353 Would be cool if Vindman is arrested as he is leaving the inquiry for leaking and perjury. Go to Gitmo, do not pass Go, do not collect your bribe money.

Posted by: overit at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (sI15f)

354 320 Colonel Blimp
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (aKsyK)
-------

Reminds me of the muppets' professor Bunsen.

Posted by: WisRich at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (G0vdT)

355 O...

M...

Ever-lovin'

G!

Has anyone ever read the back of the album jacket to "Monty Python Live At City Center"?

It's called "Monty Python's American Diary," and it's funnier than hell!

There are constant references to how they can't get any press because the president farted in congress.

"Some are saying that it was the dias creaking or a bicycle tire being let down..."

Just more proof that our civilization has devolved into sketch comedy.

Posted by: RKae at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (pirX8)

356 Some good tweets from Sean Davis...

@seanmdav 32 seconds ago

In his prepared statement provided to Congress, Vindman claimed to be the top adviser to the President of the United States on Ukraine policy. He was later forced to admit he's never met Trump, never spoke to Trump, and has never advised him on anything.

@seanmdav 1 minute ago

NSC lawyers aren't in Vindman's chain of command. The chain of command went directly from Vindman to Tim Morrison.

Vindman finally admitted that he never shared his alleged concerns with Morrison, his actual boss.

@seanmdav 5 minutes ago

STEWART: You directed Rep. Nunes to refer to you as "Lieutenant Colonel?" Do you always insist on civilians referring to you by your military rank?

VINDMAN: People on Twitter were disrespecting me and my service.

@seanmdav 19 minutes ago

Under questioning from Rep. Turner, Vindman recoiled when asked if the Secretary of State reports to him. Or if Ambassadors report to him. Or if the President of the United States needs his approval to set U.S. foreign policy.

He doesn't like being reminded he's not in charge.

@seanmdav 48 minutes ago

JORDAN: Your current boss said he had concerns about your judgment. Your previous boss had concerns about your judgment. Your boss worried about you leaking. Why is that?

VINDMAN: Fiona Hill loves me. No idea why Morrison wouldn't love me.

@seanmdav 1 hour ago

Multiple combat veterans have told me they are livid at this attitude from Vindman, at his use of the uniform as a prop for the cameras, and at his obvious scheming against and insubordination towards his chain of command.

Posted by: Tami at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (cF8AT)

357 I'm tired of every congressman bending over --on both sides--to "thank" every witness for their "service."

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (CqE5x)

358 So this is truly surprise anal?

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:01 PM (LCzNi)

Other way 'round.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (NWiLs)

359 Series of gruesome deaths in Whitechapel linked to Jack Erick the Ripper.

Posted by: Muldoon at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (m45I2)

360

Barr coming out and making his statement was no accident.

The impeachment line-up are now shaking in their boots. And so is Schifforbrains

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (vEIlU)

361 Infowars has a better track record than CNN, afaict

Posted by: vmom trapped in yarn at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (G546f)

362 "And how many pounds have you gained since you last wore that uniform, LIEUTENANT COLONEL?" - Nunes

Posted by: wth at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (v0R5T)

363 ES bringin' it!

Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (T6t7i)

364 I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales. Laughing at farting has been around for a long time.
Posted by: N.L. Urker

---

Nothing like seeing the word "farteth" in print!

Posted by: RKae at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (pirX8)

365 May Stefanik go Alia of the Knife on Vindaloumon.

After all he is a fat man....

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (bfAee)

366 BTW - Ms Williams looks like she sould deep throat
an 8 foot fence post.

Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (0/eGj)

367 The anus is inherently amusing.
Posted by: pep at November 19, 2019 12:15 PM (T6t7i)
+++++++++

I just loooove mine, wanna come visit?

Posted by: Shep Smith at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (JNTt1)

368 >>> 218 I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales. Laughing at farting has been around for a long time. Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at November 19, 2019 12:22 PM (Uu+Jp)
I absolutely believe our ancestors sat around a campfire eating mammoth meat under the glow from the glaciers, and laughed about farting. And about that time the big mammoth gave Thag a nutshot with his tusk.
Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2019 12:27 PM (Kpl3J)

Hah.

Related idea, and there are enough keto ppl here I can share this...apparently in the book Ghengis Kahn and the Making of the Modern World, pg 87, it explains how the Mongol warriors could survive on very little food and water for very long periods, using a steady diet of meat, milk, yogurt, and other dairy. Eating lots of protein gave them strong teeth and bones, and allowed them to go a day or two without food. In contrast, their rivals the Jurched soldiers ate primarily gruel made from various grains. The diet stunted their growth, rotted their teeth, and left them weak and disease prone.

The benefits of a low carb. protein rich diet was figured out 800 years ago!

Posted by: LizLem at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (hvf9s)

369 The Left loves the military when Meat Muppets like this buffoon agree to undermine the constitution and our republic along side them. They don't care that it destroys morale and respect. They've got their Quisling and they're gonna use him.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (F73W5)

370 "It's ingrained into the mindset of the left that academic credentials, titles, and ranks are more important than competence. See also: Boxer, Barbara "Call Me Senator".

Posted by: Bert G at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (OMsf+) "



Boom.
Spot-on.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (JwHjN)

371 295 NEWS: SWALWELL denies it was him who farted on MSNBC:

-
So there was a second farter on the gassy knoll?
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at November 19, 2019 12:29 PM (+y/Ru)

...

He may lack the muscle tone to retain the vapor pressure required. The anal sphincter can only take so much abuse.

Posted by: TexasDan at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (yL25O)

372 >>To be fair, men should never fart in front of women.


Not without lighting it, no.

Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2019 12:37 PM (0/eGj)

373

Stefanik just burned the Voldemort

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (vEIlU)

374 My husband has a book somewhere called "Fart Proudly." I believe it's from a Churchill quote.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (ptqGC)

375 "I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales."

From a book about Roman humor, from memory so not 100% accurate: During Nero's reign, a man came into a latrina publica and took a seat. He broke wind loudly and echoingly in the stone room, looked around at the other seated gentlemen and said, "It was as the sound of thunder from below the earth" -- a line from one of Nero's poems.

The latrine emptied quickly, everyone else hurrying to be clear before anyone could associate them with the laughter.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (IUwuf)

376 349 rumor yesterday that Trump's food taster died
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (3aI

Surprised it has taken this long.

Posted by: squirrelly dan at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (PoHZ6)

377 >>Barr coming out and making his statement was no accident.

>>The impeachment line-up are now shaking in their boots. And so is Schifforbrains

Big if true!

Posted by: JackStraw at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (ZLI7S)

378 @328 squirrelly dan-you haven't lived unless you've Dutch Oven'd your old lady or girlfriend at one time.

Posted by: JROD at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (qjyU5)

379 Stefanik just burned the Voldemort

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (vEIlU)


Dayum, she's good.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (ptqGC)

380 I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales. Laughing at farting has been around for a long time.
Posted by: N.L. Urker

----

Mozart was a lover of poop humor. (His letters show this.)

"Amadeus" captured it well.

Posted by: RKae at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (pirX8)

381 That's Lieutenant Doctor Jill Biden to you, Mr. Nunes.

Posted by: Lt. Dr. Jill Biden at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (hdzef)

382 Moosic do muh ears.

Posted by: Bwarny Fwank at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (RLKE7)

383 376 349 rumor yesterday that Trump's food taster died
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (3aI


Sort of doubtful

Posted by: It's me donna at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (6XlcD)

384 I knew none of this business passed the smell test, but this is above and beyond.

Posted by: Brother Cavil
Your ad here! 1-800-MORON-AD
at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (Rvlwi)

385 374
My husband has a book somewhere called "Fart Proudly." I believe it's from a Churchill quote.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (ptqGC)
that might be Ben Franklin.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (O8SrN)

386 I believe there are jokes about farting in The Canterbury Tales. Laughing at farting has been around for a long time.
Posted by: N.L. Urker


The Miller's Tale. Procol Harum didn't sing about the farting parts.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (1XNk8)

387 The funny thing is you can see him calculating while he's talking the chances of it being man's best friend, the silent fart. All guys know about this particular calculation from standing at the urinal with other guys around.

Posted by: Caliban at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (QE8X6)

388 An anagram for Alexander Vindman is Nannie Lard VD Exam. Another one is In Marx Anal Vended.




Posted by: Guy What Makes Anagrams at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (oQp6r)

389 Eric Swallowall: "Hey! Look at meeee! I'm an A10 Warthog! Brrrrrraaaaaaapppppp!

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (MjyI6)

390 Howard Stern was obsessed with farting for a long time. The humor never ever appealed to me.
Posted by: Easy Andy at November 19, 2019 12:32 PM (2DOZq)
++++++++++++
Swallwell farting on TV: Not hugely funny.
Swallwell denying it and triggering a weird media flurry about it: Extremely funny.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (I2dne)

391 "People on Twitter hurt muh feelz!"

YOU DON'T JOIN THE MILITARY IF YOUR "FEELZ" CAN BE HURT BY TWITTER, YOU CORPULENT BLOB OF CRISCO!

Posted by: Allie at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (UnA8+)

392 Wow. Stefanik tossing grenades at LT. COLONEL Vindman.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (ptqGC)

393 I'm tired of every congressman bending over --on both sides--to "thank" every witness for their "service."
Posted by: JoeF. at November 19


***

Ditto.
But I'd be happy to thank Vindman for his 15-20 years of service in Leavenworth.

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (LCzNi)

394 Anyone in TV production know this was 100% Matthews... location interviewees only get a lapel mic which are hypercardiod and super directional in what they are able to pickup. Additionally, audio is often horrible on location given the battle against ambient/background sounds.

Matthews is in the studio, has 2 lapel microphones (one primary, one backup), an overhead shotgun mic, and tabletop boundary mics (also as backup). Studios are also acoustically treated to mitigate outside/intrusive sounds. You can literally hear a pin drop in them.

This was entirely Matthews' fart. Some one in the booth just forgot to mute the studio mics when they switched to the location feed.

Posted by: HarryStamper at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (Jjs6X)

395 It was the dog.
In the library.
After eating the trash.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Posted by: Eric Swallowswell at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (pw+jk)

396 I bet Vindaloumon is a closet Brony

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (bfAee)

397 Yon fart

Posted by: impeachment swish at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (WX+x0)

398 Eric Swallowall

So it's not just his policies that stink

Posted by: It's me donna at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (6XlcD)

399 Listen for farts now....

Posted by: JoeF. at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (CqE5x)

400 I have heard that if your lady friend is ovulating, that you should fart on her to cover up the scent keeping other men away. Old wives tale and such

Posted by: squirrelly dan at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (PoHZ6)

401 Here's fart man...turn your volume up...or down...whichever you prefer.

Posted by: Tami at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (cF8AT)

402 So are these hearings a sign of desperation for the tyrant libs, or a sign they feel themselves so far above the law they can do whatever they want?

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (ayFCE)

403 360




Barr coming out and making his statement was no accident.



The impeachment line-up are now shaking in their boots. And so is Schifforbrains

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:36 PM (vEIlU)

I'm out of the loop. What'd he say?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (1CjJc)

404 Swallowswell up!


Please fart! please please please please.....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (ptqGC)

405 rumor yesterday that Trump's food taster died
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi


The rumor died or the food taster died?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (MjyI6)

406 I can tell you this clown is not going over well with regular .mil guys, the ones who will actually watch it. I've gotten some feedback with language that can't be printed, even on this blog.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (F73W5)

407 On the other hand, this asshole wants to leverage his rank to try and intimidate or cow people on the civilian side.



Mr. Fucking Blue Falcon Fobbit needs a good ass licking.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM


Yeah, it's AFU. I used this a week or so ago in response to some former SES caterwauling about how he had "equivalent to a four star general"; maybe LTC Blivet should brush up on it: DA PAM 600-60, Table D-1. It's evident that he was never an aide to a general, or he'd be intimately familiar with that publication

Posted by: Bert G at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (OMsf+)

408 >>To be fair, men should never fart in front of women.




Not without lighting it, no.
Posted by: garrett


And you think they keep so many scented candles around why, exactly?

Posted by: Brother Cavil
Your ad here! 1-800-MORON-AD
at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (Rvlwi)

409 348 The Senator that just made Vindman look like a fool should have asked him if he wears his uniform every day, or just for appearances before Congress.
Posted by: JoeF.

he did

Posted by: artisanal 'ette
--------
A Senator sitting on a House Intelligence Hearing asking questions - wow, didn't know that was even an option. /snark

Posted by: NALNAMSAM - not as lean, not as mean, still a Marine at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (mfjYD)

410 Sarge for all Sergeants.


Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist at November 19, 2019 12:25 PM (cxIsI)

FYI not in the Marines.

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (gmo/4)

411 So does this mean Swalwell gambled on a fart and lost?

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (N39Ws)

412 I've gotta toss a few shekels Stefanik's way. Like the cut of her jib.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (1XNk8)

413 Voldmart also whined that he has not been included in some meetings since he came out that he ordinarily would be invited to.

lol

what a pos

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (vEIlU)

414 "eday, God forbid, there will be a Dem in the WH, and a GOP (hopefully with a spine) majority in the House. With all of these coup attempts against PDT, one has to wonder if the Dems have thought out what is going to happen to them when they occupy the WH.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 19, 2019 12:17 PM (N39Ws)"



If they ever get back in power they will make sure that they will remain unopposed forever.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (JwHjN)

415 Swallwell farting on TV: Not hugely funny.

Swallwell denying it and triggering a weird media flurry about it: Extremely funny.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (I2dne)

I'd love to see some Southpark on this. Eric Fartman v. Eric Cartman or something.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (1CjJc)

416 Fartin' Swalwell up now. Let's see if he cuts loose with another one.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader, Pants Monitor & Austere Religious Scholar at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (3Ame7)

417 Vindman is stammering and stuttering all over the place.

Deep State spineless POS.


And now Tom Arnold is kissing up to him.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:31 PM (ptqGC)

---

Tom Arnold is at the hearings??

Posted by: fixerupper at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (8XRCm)

418

Cartman's up

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (vEIlU)

419 > To be fair, men should never fart in front of women.

"Women don't fart, but they're often near a dog that does." -- Richard Pryor

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (oQp6r)

420 Swallwell farting on TV: Not hugely funny.
Swallwell denying it and triggering a weird media flurry about it: Extremely funny.
Posted by: Joe Mannix


The coverup is worse than the crime.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (MjyI6)

421 The food taster died and Trump was rushed to Walter Reed as a precaution.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (1XNk8)

422 413 Voldmart also whined that he has not been included in some meetings since he came out that he ordinarily would be invited to.

Because you are a fat f**k leaking son of a bitch

Posted by: It's me donna at November 19, 2019 12:42 PM (6XlcD)

423 rumor yesterday that Trump's food taster died
Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:35 PM (3aI


Sort of doubtful
Posted by: It's me donna at

***

New rumor. Vindman has new orders assigning him to the White House to fill an unexpected vacancy.

Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (LCzNi)

424 sock off

Posted by: DR.WTF at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (aS1PU)

425 This is my Farticus moment.

Posted by: Eric Swallowswell at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (WQZ1O)

426 They need to graphically insert some sort of smell cloud around Swalwell....like Pig Pen on Charlie Brown.

Posted by: Tami at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (cF8AT)

427
Fox producers should play farts throughout this entire line of questioning from Cartman.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (vEIlU)

428 i just don't see how farting on msnbc is news. that's the least damning thing they have ever aired. rachel madcow drops a deuce on her desk every night. no worries.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (KP5rU)

429 Every time someone mentions the "whistleblower" the republicans should take a bite of a Caramello bar while making sure to show the label.

Posted by: irright at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (pMGkg)

430 Mr. Fucking Blue Falcon Fobbit needs a good ass licking.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM


Eeeew.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader, Pants Monitor & Austere Religious Scholar at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (3Ame7)

431 Fartin' Swalwell up now. Let's see if he cuts loose with another one.

From which end?

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (bfAee)

432 WSJ, at the end of their report on the presidents doctors visit reminded that Trump is 243 pounds, which is considered "obese".

So fat shaming. From the people who are telling us we should be more sensitive with people who have delusions about their biological sex.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (F73W5)

433 I'd kill for someone in the gallery to have a whoopie cushion handy.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (ptqGC)

434 Vindman says no officials in the national security community, the State
Department, and the Defense Department supported withholding military
aid from Ukraine.
Wow, a LtC can speak for the State Dept, DoD as well as the entirety of the National Security community?

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (N39Ws)

435 Swalwell is such a mediocre that he thinks his lame questions are brilliant.

He is cringeworthy.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (ZLI7S)

436 @408 Brother Cavil-.....for romance(?)

Posted by: JROD at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (qjyU5)

437 > If they ever get back in power they will make sure that they will remain unopposed forever.
I don't know about "unopposed", but agree that if they ever again get control of all three branches, we won't be voting our way out of it.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (oQp6r)

438 Piker. Boy needs to give it a full blast, like I do.

Posted by: Paul Boomer, 3-time World Crepitation Champ at November 19, 2019 12:44 PM (vtcmf)

439 408 >>To be fair, men should never fart in front of women.




Not without lighting it, no.
Posted by: garrett

And you think they keep so many scented candles around why, exactly?
Posted by: Brother Cavil
Your ad here! 1-800-MORON-AD
at November 19, 2019 12:41 PM (Rvlwi)

Have you ever smelled a woman in the wild?

Posted by: squirrelly dan at November 19, 2019 12:44 PM (PoHZ6)

440 This is my Farticus moment.
Posted by: Eric Swallowswell at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (WQZ1O)


lol


Gaseous Clay

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:44 PM (vEIlU)

441
OLD & Busted: Epstein Didint Kill Himself

New Hotnes: Swallwel Didn't Shit Himself








Didnt Barney Frank fart on live TV once too???

Posted by: fixerupper at November 19, 2019 12:44 PM (8XRCm)

442 To be fair, men should never fart in front of women.

Not without lighting it, no.
Posted by: garrett

And you think they keep so many scented candles around why, exactly?
Posted by: Brother Cavil


When you go up in a blue flame, it removes all doubt as to the guilty party?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 19, 2019 12:44 PM (MjyI6)

443 No way eh! It was the chair!

Posted by: Doug McKenzie at November 19, 2019 12:44 PM (eAZVt)

444 Has an indignant lefty blamed Trump for the fart yet?

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at November 19, 2019 12:44 PM (COzlW)

445 This was entirely Matthews' fart. Some one in the
booth just forgot to mute the studio mics when they switched to the
location feed.

Posted by: HarryStamper at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (Jjs6X)

The @Hardball twitter account claims it was a mug sliding across the table.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (CQ3Qb)

446 Swallowswell isn't even making lemonade out of the lemons Vindman gave the Dems today. More like the yellow substance that we flush down a toilet.

Posted by: Gref at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (AMIL/)

447 @seanmdav 3 minutes ago

President Eric Shartwell is now asking questions of Vindman. This ought to be a real gas.

Posted by: Tami at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (cF8AT)

448 So one of Swallowell's farts migrated illegally at a bad moment.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (O8SrN)

449 >>Have you ever smelled a woman in the wild?


Had some fat pregnant bitch crop dust me, once.

I called her out. She left the store in a huff.

Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (0/eGj)

450 "Eeeew.
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader, Pants Monitor & Austere Religious Scholar at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (3Ame7)"

It's hard to type with your fists.

You would be the one to find that. Grammar Nazi

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (F73W5)

451 Today's Democrat Party is a laughing stock. What a bunch of maroons!

Posted by: Chris M at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (eAZVt)

452 384 I knew none of this business passed the smell test, but this is above and beyond.
Posted by: Brother Cavil

Are you talking about the hearings or Erick the Ripper?

Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (Kpl3J)

453 Every time Swellwell is up, the GOP members on the committee should make farting noises into their microphones until Schiff cuts them off. That would totally rock.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader, Pants Monitor & Austere Religious Scholar at November 19, 2019 12:45 PM (3Ame7)

454 Here we go again. "Thank you for your service" to Ms. Williams.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (ptqGC)

455 I am Farticus!

Posted by: Tonypete at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (Y4EXg)

456 "I am Fart-acus"

Posted by: Erik L at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (fMlmZ)

457 379
Stefanik just burned the Voldemort



Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 19, 2019 12:38 PM (vEIlU)

Dayum, she's good.




Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:39 PM (ptqGC)


Wait Voldemort is the whistleblower? Now I get why we can't say his name out loud.

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (ymnmz)

458 Col Flounder just learned today, during his testimony, that Hunder Biden had that sweet no-show job at Burisma.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe
-----

Recall that when Mueller was questioned about Fusion GPS, his response was "Uh, who? I don't think I have heard of them."

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (CDGwz)

459 OK, lunch break is over for me. Back to the office.

Posted by: Bert G at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (OMsf+)

460 Vindman says no officials in the national security community, the State

Department, and the Defense Department supported withholding military

aid from Ukraine.

Wow, a LtC can speak for the State Dept, DoD as well as the entirety of the National Security community?

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 19, 2019 12:43 PM (N39Ws)


Hell - he may be right. That's part of the problem - these bureaucrats have forgotten that they aren't elected. They're there to work for people that are.

All these agencies are too big. We're long past due for a good reduction in force at these places.

Posted by: Lurking Libertarian at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (zWYuS)

461 Nood CFA

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (1CjJc)

462 "Oh, no. She had "chills up and down her spine.



Posted by: pep"


That's odd. I'm still waiting for something in the testimony the least bit scandalous, juicy or even interesting to keep me from falling asleep.

Posted by: Ripley at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (MxEKc)

463 This is a very revealing moment.

Adam Schiff's lackey Daniel Goldman suggests that unelected bureaucrats determine U.S. foreign policy and the President must follow their talking points.

Ridiculous!

Posted by: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (3aI0K)

464 That's the most intelligent thing ever to come out of Swallowall's piehole. Oh, wait...

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (/sgva)

465 I knew none of this business passed the smell test, but this is above and beyond.

Posted by: Brother Cavil



Are you talking about the hearings or Erick the Ripper?

Posted by: Tom Servo


Yes.

Posted by: Brother Cavil
Your ad here! 1-800-MORON-AD
at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (Rvlwi)

466 Didnt Barney Frank fart on live TV once too???

Posted by: fixerupper at November 19, 2019 12:44 PM (8XRCm)


His sphincter is so loose that it would be a miracle if he didn't.

Posted by: DR.WTF at November 19, 2019 12:46 PM (aS1PU)

467 I was in the Old Navy during the Black Friday campaign. Three Purple Hearts.


Posted by: Senator Ma'am at November 19, 2019 12:47 PM (oQp6r)

468 I hate fart and poop humor...


*****

Shamefully unAmerican sentiment.

"May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."

Posted by: Muldoon at November 19, 2019 12:47 PM (m45I2)

469 I'm tired of every congressman bending over --on both sides--to "thank" every witness for their "service."

Posted by: JoeF.
..........

Yeah, so far they appear to be useless SOB's we'd be better off without.

Posted by: wth at November 19, 2019 12:47 PM (v0R5T)

470 I was the farting champ at Foggy Bottom. Used to make ambassadors weep.

Posted by: Masha Potatovich at November 19, 2019 12:47 PM (vtcmf)

471 Is this guys name Vindman or Lord Voldemort?

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy at November 19, 2019 12:48 PM (F73W5)

472 STEWART: You directed Rep. Nunes to refer to you as "Lieutenant Colonel?" Do you always insist on civilians referring to you by your military rank?

VINDMAN: People on Twitter were disrespecting me and my service.


It's always the marginally competent and the sub-competent who get pissy about titles and rank.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader, Pants Monitor & Austere Religious Scholar at November 19, 2019 12:48 PM (3Ame7)

473 They called my grandpap Chief Stinking Haunch.

He liked beans a bit too much with his maize and prairie crabs.

Posted by: Fauxcahontas at November 19, 2019 12:49 PM (1XNk8)

474 Pull my finger.

Posted by: Eric Smellsunwell at November 19, 2019 12:49 PM (WQZ1O)

475 Amateur.

Posted by: Le Petomain, French flatulist at November 19, 2019 12:49 PM (5ff1+)

476 318 I hate fart and poop humor,
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM (6kwmB)


Then how can you stand hanging out on this blog?

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader, Pants Monitor & Austere Religious Scholar at November 19, 2019 12:50 PM (3Ame7)

477 391 "People on Twitter hurt muh feelz!"

YOU DON'T JOIN THE MILITARY IF YOUR "FEELZ" CAN BE HURT BY TWITTER, YOU CORPULENT BLOB OF CRISCO!

Posted by: Allie at November 19, 2019 12:40 PM (UnA8+)



They certainly are expecting that hurt feelings are going to score them some points. Maybe amongst the groups that they already have locked up - professionally angry and college students - but anyone that works or has children is going to be rolling the eyes real hard.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet says Flatulus Toxicus is The Silent Killer! at November 19, 2019 12:51 PM (hLRSq)

478 407 On the other hand, this asshole wants to leverage his rank to try and intimidate or cow people on the civilian side.

Mr. Fucking Blue Falcon Fobbit needs a good ass licking.

Posted by: Hesco Gypsy

Yeah, it's AFU. I used this a week or so ago in response to some former SES caterwauling about how he had "equivalent to a four star general"; maybe LTC Blivet should brush up on it: DA PAM 600-60, Table D-1. It's evident that he was never an aide to a general, or he'd be intimately familiar with that publication

Posted by: Bert G
----------
Dammit. What was that f'ing five min series they'd run on AFRTS when we were overseas back in mumble-mumble-mumble?

Womp-womp-womp-wah, he's everywhere, he's everywhere. I'm almost positive it was Blue Falcon man but I'm drawing a freaking blank.

Posted by: NALNAMSAM - not as lean, not as mean, still a Marine at November 19, 2019 12:51 PM (mfjYD)

479 Obligatory musical linkage:

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=z6le600NWk0

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 19, 2019 12:54 PM (/sgva)

480 I hate fart and poop humor,
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM

=====

Then how can you stand hanging out on this blog?
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader, Pants Monitor & Austere Religious Scholar at November 19, 2019 12:50 PM


So we can look forward to more of it on the Book Thread?

Posted by: Duncanthrax The Austere at November 19, 2019 12:56 PM (5ff1+)

481 286 I'm more convinced than ever, that LT. COLONEL Vindman sleeps in his uniform.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 19, 2019 12:28 PM (ptqGC)
+++++++++++

Prolly footie onesie pajamas, with little rabbit noses on the feet.

Posted by: gut bug at November 19, 2019 12:58 PM (JNTt1)

482 Career LTC staff officers are gofers for generals.

Posted by: Archer at November 19, 2019 12:19 PM (gmo/4)




I heard Jed Babbin say just that this morning. He said this guy has been getting coffee for higher ups and now thinks he should be making foreign policy decisions

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 19, 2019 01:00 PM (2MKTg)

483 410 Sarge for all Sergeants.

Posted by: jakee308 - Hylozoist

FYI not in the Marines.

Posted by: Archer
------------
I'd also like to add that it used to drive me batshit insane when soldiers (some senior NCOs) in the Army would address themselves as Sergeant even though they were SFC, Master Sergeants, etc. I told all my folks everytime we were deployed together with our Army brothers and sisters that if I heard them address someone as Sarge instead of their appropriate rank and title that I'd rip their heads off and shit down their necks. Had a couple Marine and a Sailor try me on occasion but no further issues after a couple of public shamings and extra duty for failure to follow simple instructions.

No other service that I know of allows that Sarge type of shit and neither should the Army. Let a sailor call a Senior Chief "Chief" and see what happens. Let an airman call a Senior Master Sergeant a "Sarge" and see WTF happens. Let a Marine call a Gunny a Sarge and see WTF happens. But the Army.. dudes.. I stop that shit in its tracks on every deployment (at least until I've left the AOR). LOL

*steps off soapbox*

Posted by: NALNAMSAM - not as lean, not as mean, still a Marine at November 19, 2019 01:01 PM (mfjYD)

484 So Rep. Shartwell wasn't able to get 1% in the primary polls.

But he was able to get a deuce.


*badump bump pah*

Posted by: Sharkman at November 19, 2019 01:05 PM (fp3O8)

485 Apologies for my naivette

Is the infrared video real or fake? I have no idea with these things.

Posted by: Keyser at November 19, 2019 01:15 PM (RGse9)

486 480 I hate fart and poop humor,
Posted by: chique d'Epstein didn't off hisself at November 19, 2019 12:33 PM

=====

Then how can you stand hanging out on this blog?
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader, Pants Monitor & Austere Religious Scholar at November 19, 2019 12:50 PM

So we can look forward to more of it on the Book Thread?
Posted by: Duncanthrax The Austere at November 19, 2019 12:56 PM (5ff1+)


Joyce's Leopold Bloom had at least one major fart attack in Ulysses.

Posted by: Captain Hate at November 19, 2019 01:15 PM (y7DUB)

487 "Did somebody step on a duck ?"

Posted by: JT at November 19, 2019 01:29 PM (arJlL)

488 The country is in an upheaval with simmering anger at the dem's constant, unrelenting refusal to accept the results of the 2016 election, a soft coup is in progress, civil war no longer is unthinkable, and we are talking about an alleged fart on cnn like 10-year old little boys? Really, who fuckin cares?

I give up.

Posted by: marty at November 19, 2019 01:34 PM (MwZBl)

489 White shorts brown shorts
Brown shorts white
Will I see a stain tonight?

Posted by: Eric Swallowsall at November 19, 2019 01:41 PM (RHJ+c)

490 And the NCO standing off camera (but up wind) asks, "Captain Who?"

Posted by: Lurker Extraordinaire at November 19, 2019 01:45 PM (hkgcg)

491 did the hardball host sniff his ass like a dog?

Posted by: demoncrat at November 19, 2019 01:56 PM (lhK+N)

492 I saw the hilariously raunchy Swalwell clip last night after Mark Levin mentioned it on his radio show. Cracked me up to no end!

And yet, this thread managed to make Swalwell's stale fart fresh all over again.
I could not stop laughing at the "Greta Reacts to FartGate" clip. ROFLMFAO!



Posted by: Cold Civil War at November 19, 2019 02:26 PM (Z2PYk)

493 Vindeman was riding in a armoured vehicle that hit an IED that had him back on duty the same day and he gets a Purple Heart....wowza a hero more like a lucky bastard.....so coached that every Democrat question is answered Correct that's right Yes and Repub ??'s with canny double speak and the collar loosening eye movements and facial rubbing and tics are OK???.

Posted by: saf at November 19, 2019 02:42 PM (5IHGB)

494 For those looking for additional evidence proving that Swalwell was the authentic fart-maker: note that after he completes his flatulent liftoff that he 'pinches' the very next word "an" in the phrase "cheat an election".
It's subtle; but ol' Eric Fartwell vocally expresses a tiny moment of genuine relief.
- Hey, he earned it.

Posted by: Cold Civil War at November 19, 2019 02:54 PM (Z2PYk)

495 Considering the look on Chris "Tingles" face, I'd say a shart.

Sounded like one to me.

The infrared gif is genius.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky aka Corn Pop, Biden's imaginary thug at November 19, 2019 06:32 PM (SK2xO)

496 On It Swallowall, finally a democrat actually had a humorous moment and we all laugh together (D) and (R).

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