Ol' Potato Salad Joe Storytime Hour

The T-1000 was a good friend of mine. When we lost Fonzy in that tragic boating accident, the T-1000 turned and said to me, now this is a true story, he said to me now I know why you cry. When I asked him why, he told me you shut up now sir and stop asking questions. Because he died. He DIED!! Fonzy was dead and no one was gonna bring him back. Not President Jimmy Carter or his wife Nell who was on a little show you might have heard of called Gimme a Break. Me and the Terminator cried for days until the Taco Bell we ordered came. Tell you the truth I didn't even want tacos anymore. True story.

Posted by: Joe Biden

Here's another true story. I was 12 years old when I heard about the
death of Martin Luther King Jr. Great statesman. Guy got shot for selling cigarettes on a St. Louis street corner in 1983. By police. This is a true story as I stand in front of you. I went to comfort my mother because she was upset. Turns out she smoked the same brand he got killed for. Camelback Smokes they were. True story.


Came in packs of 47. I remember them like it was yesterday. Smelled like Pine Sol.

And she told me I don't want you're damn comfort! He died! He DIED!!!! And she said now go put President Obama on the TV, Charlie.

Because he's gonna speak and want to hear it. We all wanted to hear it. Then the Spaceship Discovery exploded and we lost Captain Picard too. 1995 was not a good year.

Posted by: Joe Biden

This AOS Commenter Craze has inspired the Babylon Bee:

Biden Claims He Was There 3,000 Years Ago When Isildur Took The Ring And The Strength Of Men Failed

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 07:31 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 first

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at August 30, 2019 07:31 PM (JUOKG)

2 Where all de white wimmin?

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid. at August 30, 2019 07:31 PM (Vy7tf)

3 Joe makes tater salad with paste instead of mayo.

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid. at August 30, 2019 07:32 PM (Vy7tf)

4 This AOS Commenter Craze has inspired the Babylon Bee:

It is tiring as hell always being on the cutting edge of national culture.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 30, 2019 07:32 PM (Mouru)

5 We live in silly times.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at August 30, 2019 07:33 PM (yQpMk)

6 I just want to say that if Allen Covert appears in more movies, I will watch them. Grandma's Boy was ace. Really sad there weren't more Covert-centred movies over the 2000s.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 07:33 PM (ykYG2)

7 Joe Biden.

Dumber than a bag of hammers.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at August 30, 2019 07:34 PM (Z+IKu)

8 *falls over, giggling*

Thanks, Ace and the Horde. Needed that today!

For the anime/LWC fans, ICYMI:

https://youtu.be/NQDr_uDzIFo

Posted by: pookysgirl, physics warpmaster at August 30, 2019 07:34 PM (XKZwp)

9 "I was there," he said, his voice trailing off as some long-forgotten memory flashed before his eyes. "I was there 3,000 years ago... when Isildur took the Ring. I was there the day the strength of men failed." Biden said that "the time of white men is over" and that "the time for us to listen to minority voices instead has come," though he was quick to clarify that he should still be the one to wield the Ring of Power.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at August 30, 2019 07:34 PM (Mouru)

10 How many Ciceros do we have? I confuse easy.

Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:34 PM (tH5fk)

11
Joe Biden is your garrolous uncle who tells long, involved stories that meander, backtrack and ultimately make no sense at all. You're secretly relieved when you can finally leave.

Eventually he gets arrested for indecent exposure.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 30, 2019 07:34 PM (Wx/+I)

12 Biden? Never heard of him.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at August 30, 2019 07:35 PM (Xt8DX)

13 Paste is a hell of a drug.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:35 PM (pnBLa)

14 How many Ciceros do we have? I confuse easy.
Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:34 PM (tH5fk)



There is but one original.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 30, 2019 07:35 PM (Mouru)

15 But it is not this day! This day, we ...

er, wat?

/Joe "Stridi'n" Biden

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 07:35 PM (6qErC)

16 And about half the country will still vote for Mr Potato Head.

Posted by: Sharrukin2 at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (ltuaO)

17 10 How many Ciceros do we have? I confuse easy.
Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:34 PM (tH5fk)

Im from the city, not the orator.

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid. at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (Vy7tf)

18 There is but one original.
Posted by: Cicero


All Hail!

Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (tH5fk)

19 Did anyone ever figure out what the point of his story was? Like we needed Uncle Joe to explain the bravery of soldiers or something.

Posted by: lowandslow at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (4thlk)

20 Dave Chappelle stirring up trouble.

Everybody was furious, especially in Hollywood... "Justice for Juicy" and all this sh**... For some reason, African Americans, we were like oddly quiet. . . . What they didn't understand is that we were supporting him with our silence. Because we understood that this n****** was clearly lying. None of these details added up at all... "Hey man, aren' t you that f***** n***** from Empire?" What the f***? Does that sound like how white people talk? ... It sounds like something that I would say! ... If you a racist and homophobic you don't even know who this n***** is! You don't watch Empire

Black people never feel sorry for the police, but this time we even felt sorry for the police... [voice of police officer] "Okay, you left the house at 2 a.m., it's minus 16 degrees. You were walking, you were walking. All riiiight. And ... and where were you going? Subway. Sandwiches? ... That'/s when the men approached you ... what did they have on? MAGA hats? MAGA hats in Chicago. ... [aside to another police officer] Find out where Kanye West was last night.

He said they put a rope around his neck. Has anyone here ever been to Chicago? All right, so you been there. Now tell me, how much rope do you remember seeing? ... Like when did you get mugged, n*****, 1850? Who's got rope? ... Not only were they not white, they were very, very black. They were Nigerian, which is the funniest sh**. The whole story is funnier now! [in exaggerated Nigerian accent] "This is MAGA country, you f***** n*****!"

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (+y/Ru)

21 16:

I'd vote for Mr. Potato Head, too.

Oh, wait...you meant...

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (6qErC)

22 Joe was in the trench with boy. Claimed to be 18, but wasn't a day over 15.
This is the word of a Biden.
Joe held that boy and cried and said "go forth and die and I will tell your story. "

Posted by: N.L. Urker. I will urk until I can't urk anymore. at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (zJmMh)

23 There is but one original.
Posted by: Cicero

All Hail!
Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (tH5fk)


*tosses cracker to eleven*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 30, 2019 07:37 PM (Mouru)

24 These games are too brainy for me.

Posted by: Madeline Basset at August 30, 2019 07:37 PM (ty7RM)

25 Biden may be sad and bad but the alternatives to him are worse.


Posted by: LGoPs the former boyscout who now shouts Broken Arrow!, Broken Arrow! at August 30, 2019 07:37 PM (T6OXT)

26 Oh. hay.. I grew up in Sycacuse.

All hail people from Cicero.

Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (tH5fk)

27
Horde, we'd better pace ourselves. He's going to be the nominee. I saw the talking heads on CNN yesterday and all was forgiven.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (13CQC)

28 I'm in the market for a twin sister on the blog. Mine disowned me today.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (pnBLa)

29 I have family in Delaware. They think Biden is a boob, an imbecile, and an embarrassment. Yet, they will continue to vote for him until he passes away because his office delivers the favors when called upon.

The stupid, it is strong in my family.

Posted by: Tonypete at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (Y4EXg)

30 11
Joe Biden is your garrolous uncle who tells long, involved stories that meander, backtrack and ultimately make no sense at all. You're secretly relieved when you can finally leave.

Eventually he gets arrested for indecent exposure.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 30, 2019 07:34 PM (Wx/+I)


Make sure your sister never sits on his lap.

Posted by: Billy Ray Gunn at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (ZS+GP)

31 I can tell stories....serious stories that sound real and people believe them but they are all 100% stone cold bull$hit that I made up, but I can make people believe they are true. It's a talent.


slow joe biden does not have my skill set.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (JUOKG)

32 How many Ciceros do we have? I confuse easy.
Posted by: eleven

Just one.

It's the Plinys you have to keep track of.

Posted by: Miklos the Junior Elder at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (QzkSJ)

33 I'm in the market for a twin sister on the blog. Mine disowned me today.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (pnBLa)



Oh no! What happened?

Posted by: grammie winger at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (lwiT4)

34 Creepy Groping Uncle Joe is getting creepier by the moment. We need to finance this guy thru the primaries.

Posted by: Fritz at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (kLDv+)

35 I got a cracker.

Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (tH5fk)

36 You guys, Bret Stephens just dropped a new NYT editorial in which he cites that the Nazis referred to Jews as "bedbugs".

I could not make this up.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (6XLoz)

37 The Democrat Party is the enemy. And he's inside the wire.

Posted by: LGoPs the former boyscout who now shouts Broken Arrow!, Broken Arrow! at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (T6OXT)

38 Me and the Terminator cried for days until the Taco Bell we ordered
came. Tell you the truth I didn't even want tacos anymore. True story.


Posted by: Joe Biden



========



Joe Biden wrote the script for "Demolition Man." True story, brah ...

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (WqPYg)

39

Old Joe is mind melting before our collective eyes.

I never liked the guy, but I feel sorry for him making a fool out of himself as he age-destructs in that inevitable human ending of a long life.

Most people have the awareness, or relatives that protect them, from self-destructing in public.


Joe apparently doesn't have anyone like that in his life.

I don't care about Joe, as he has effed enough people in his lifetime with his actions, but I don't like watching any human being suffer foolishly in public like Joe is doing now.


If Joe was a dog, he would have been put down humanely by now.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (sy5kK)

40 These games are too brainy for me.
Posted by: Madeline Basset

What ho, old...er..chap?

Posted by: Bertie W. at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (QzkSJ)

41 I'm in the market for a twin sister on the blog. Mine disowned me today.


Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM

---

Does she clean house?

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (JUOKG)

42 >>>The stupid, it is strong in my family.

Posted by: Tonypete at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (Y4EXg)
--------------



It's not your family. The Stupid is a national tragedy.

Posted by: Billy Ray Gunn at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (ZS+GP)

43 Joe was there at Agincourt. How the men were moved when he gave his famous speech.

Posted by: N.L. Urker. I will urk until I can't urk anymore. at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (zJmMh)

44 My favorite Pliny is Pliny the Drunk Uncle.

Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (tH5fk)

45
Biden may be sad and bad but the alternatives to him are worse.

Joe would just be Professor Gill. It's the Melakon behind him us Zeon scum have to worry about.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (Wx/+I)

46 >
Oh no! What happened?
Posted by: grammie winger at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (lwiT4)



I expressed interest in making potato salad with cauliflower instead of taters. Recipe in sidebar.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (pnBLa)

47 I remember it like it was yesterday. He looked around at all of us then zoned in on me. His eyes man, they were like flashlights, ya know? He said, "Joe, why did you deny me?" "C'mon, man" I said, "I wouldn't do these kinds of things, you know? I'm an honest upstanding guy. A real hero almost." So, he asked me again. Well, I grabbed that sonabitches arm and said, "Don't mess with me, kid!" Can't remember the guy's name, I think he mighta been one of those south of the border types. Jose? Jorge? Oh hell, it doesn't matter, I was just surprised he was able to get offa that cross without Ol' Joe's help, ya know?


-Posted by: Joe Biden

Posted by: DangerGirl the SanityProd(tm) is lost at August 30, 2019 07:41 PM (SRarZ)

48 Just Biden my time...

Posted by: !Joe! at August 30, 2019 07:41 PM (1kEF3)

49 Should have a poll, date Crazy Uncle Joe drops out, if ever.

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 07:41 PM (BbGew)

50 *tosses cracker to eleven*
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 30, 2019 07:37 PM (Mouru)

omg, that purdy racist

Posted by: REDACTED at August 30, 2019 07:41 PM (AQBtr)

51 The powers that be in the Dim party won't let Biden get the nod. They know he's brain damaged, has been for years. It's just that he was so stupid before that the brain damage didn't make all that much difference to how he came across. But they know Trump will make mincemeat out of him, so they can't afford to let him be their standard bearer. And they won't.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at August 30, 2019 07:41 PM (k4dH2)

52 >

Does she clean house?
Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (JUOKG)



She cleans hers.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:42 PM (pnBLa)

53 I'm in the market for a twin sister on the blog. Mine disowned me today.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (pnBLa)

People who do that aren't much of a loss because they have learly demonstrated how little they value that relationship. Harder when it's blood, but still.

Posted by: Sharrukin2 at August 30, 2019 07:42 PM (ltuaO)

54 I remember it so clearly! The asteroid was heading for earth, and unless we nuked if in space it was game over for humanity, man, game over! Fortunately my teen years working on an oil rig gave me a unique set of skills for drilling on hole on that bad boy so our top-notch NASA ace's could drop a big ol' nuke in there. Man, what an adventure!

Let me tell ya the hardest part. Listen closely, 'cause they don't tell civilians this stuff. In space, no one can hear you scream. Seriously. Dead silent. So when your buddy is hit by a stray comet while drilling you don't even know. It's best you not know it, if you know what I mean. But anyway, long story short, I drilled that hole, we detonated that nuke, and you are all sleeping well tonight because of it. It was a big f%$#@ing deal.

And the best part was I got to wear this awesome Hawaiian shirt my friend made me at the press conference, you remember it. . .

Posted by: Joe "Driller" Biden at August 30, 2019 07:42 PM (bDqIh)

55 Me and Barack, we set up the whole spying on and undermining Trump thing. True story.

*And that ladies and gentlemen is actually true*

Posted by: LGoPs the former boyscout who now shouts Broken Arrow!, Broken Arrow! at August 30, 2019 07:42 PM (T6OXT)

56
There I stood, like Horatius astride the bridge - brave, resolute and fearless! "This will not pass!" I cried, and as the only Caucasian employed in East Wilmington that summer, believe me, my anguished words carried great weight ... and a glimmer of hope for those similarly oppressed.

"This will not pass!" Shouted as I stood before a urinal in a public restroom at the East Wilmington Community Swimming Pool. Even today I shudder at their memory. Fooking kidney stones -- they are one agonizing bitch!

-- The More Coherent Recollections of One J. R. Biden

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at August 30, 2019 07:42 PM (6G4DD)

57 I expressed interest in making potato salad with cauliflower instead of taters. Recipe in sidebar.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (pnBLa)



Well, I'd volunteer to be your twin sister but I don't cook.

Posted by: grammie winger at August 30, 2019 07:42 PM (lwiT4)

58
I expressed interest in making potato salad with cauliflower instead of taters. Recipe in sidebar.

Posted by: Muad'dib


*fearfully holds out crucifix at arms length*

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 30, 2019 07:43 PM (Wx/+I)

59 Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (pnBLa)

Well, I'd volunteer to be your twin sister but I don't cook.
Posted by: grammie winger

----

Will you two be wearing matching outfits?

Posted by: Tonypete at August 30, 2019 07:43 PM (Y4EXg)

60 http://bit.ly/2LiYJ4N
*******
Modern art was CIA 'weapon' | The Independent
*******
HUH???????????

Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at August 30, 2019 07:43 PM (BqBId)

61 Gone put y'all back in trains!

Posted by: Moron Robbie is a Proud Black Woman - my word as a Biden at August 30, 2019 07:43 PM (fsa/N)

62 Obama is the chickenshit Joe has always wanted to be

Posted by: REDACTED at August 30, 2019 07:44 PM (AQBtr)

63 I can tell stories....serious stories that sound real and people believe them "

Turbo Encabulator?

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 07:44 PM (cdYPW)

64 Apparently Sidney Powell threw the BS flag at Team Mueller today and the judge is gonna have to make the call to dismiss or proceed

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 30, 2019 07:44 PM (BrRAn)

65 >>>Joe, as he has effed enough people in his lifetime with his actions, but I don't like watching any human being suffer foolishly in public like Joe is doing now.
...
Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (sy5kK)
---------------------



This is another part of communists dumbing down America. Allowing him in public as an example of OK instead of keeping him safe at home.

They are an obscene clown show.

Posted by: Billy Ray Gunn at August 30, 2019 07:44 PM (ZS+GP)

66 Dear Whitehouse,

I always thought these letters were fake, but something happened and I just had to share it!

I'm an important official from a small state next near New Jersey. One day as I was sitting at my desk my secretary poked her sweet, tulip scented head in and said I had a call waiting on two. At first I thought, it's eleven AM, why not just call now, but she handed me the phone.

His voice was steady and sent a thrill up my leg. He said his name was Barack, he'd heard of me, and he wanted to offer me a job. Could we meet over lunch? Of course I said yes, it's not every day an interesting foreigner wants to take you to lunch without pestering you about a trade deal or refugees and all that stuff.

He was a picture when he walked in. Tall, lean, clean and just enough milk in the mocha to smooth things out a bit, just the way I like my men. I fell in love with his eyes, not burning, just looking through you with this expression like he didn't really like you, but then he would speak and my Lord!

We chatted for an hour, but it felt like five minutes. His voice, in person, sounded soft, but infused with hardness, and penetrated into you, and you found you couldn't stop it, and then you found you didn't want to. He finished, his eyes never leaving mine, and asked me in that same thrusting voice, "So, do you have any questions?"

I was breathless. "What... What was the job again?"

He sighed. My heart skipped a beat. "Vice President of the United States. That's what we've, uh, been talking about for an hour. I've also spoken to Liebermann and Bill Clinton's bag, whathername."

My voice cracked. "Forget them! Take me! Take me now!"

I couldn't stop my

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 07:44 PM (U7voe)

67 I can't wait for Biden to come out and express his sorrow and shock upon hearing the news that Joe Biden just died.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (j3npP)

68
Anyone ever hear the story of how Biden wanted to send a "We don't hate you" prize to Iran after 9/11? I may have read it on Powerline, may have even read it here. The towers are smoking, Biden's aides are in his office trying to think up a statement, and he says "Hey! A billion dollars for Iran!" Silence all around. He raises his eyebrows and darts his head forward as if to say "How about *that*?"

It was a billion or a hundred million, can't remember.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (13CQC)

69 >

Will you two be wearing matching outfits?
Posted by: Tonypete at August 30, 2019 07:43 PM (Y4EXg)



Yes. Cub jerseys.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (pnBLa)

70 Around the same time as the events of "Chariots of Fire", the Democrats were holding their 1924 Democratic National Convention in NYC. 103 ballots to pick a losing candidate.
The KKK marched on the convention floor fully hooded.

Posted by: SMOD at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (e8kgV)

71
Modern art was CIA 'weapon'

Just goes to show how easy it is to buy artists and intellectuals.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (Wx/+I)

72 16
And about half the country will still vote for Mr Potato Head.

Posted by: Sharrukin2 at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (ltuaO)

========

"At least twice if all my instructions are followed and the GOPe doesn't raise a stink (okay, that last one is a joke)." -- George Soros.

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (WqPYg)

73 So I said to Ramius when we pulled out of Polyarny in '62, you don't want to go that way. I knew Fred Thompson, and we needed to go South. Word of a Biden, he says to me, and I can still hear his voice, he says, gunga galunga....gunga gunga, gunga-lagunga. To this day I say those inspiring words when I look in the mirror.

True Story.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (r3Pef)

74 Ignore the last line from post 66. Editing error.

Posted by: Vanya at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (U7voe)

75 Yes. Cub jerseys.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (pnBLa)



The only clothes I own. Except for my Jordy Nelson Packer jersey.

Posted by: grammie winger at August 30, 2019 07:46 PM (lwiT4)

76 Here's why I know I can beat Trump.

This was back in the 80s... everyone told me I shouldn't do it. But I had to. I said "we can lose a Senator, but we can't let this stand."

That's why I flew to the Soviet Union for an unsanctioned boxing match against Ivan Drago... you see, this colluding Russian sonofabitch had killed my best friend, who was a friend and longfriend standingfriend.

Apollo had believed in me when nobody else did. Apollo helped me take down Clubber Lang when nobody thought it was possible.

I beat Drago down in front of the whole Politburo, and then extended the olive branch of peace between our two countries.

This story, while painful to recount, illustrates why I have the physical toughness and the foreign policy gravitas to beat Trump, in any arena.

Posted by: Joey B at August 30, 2019 07:46 PM (5aX2M)

77 Boo Boo for realz today.

Watch: Biden Claims Illegal Immigrants 'Become American' Before Many 'Americans Become American's

-
His truth over facts style.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at August 30, 2019 07:46 PM (+y/Ru)

78
Joe, as he has effed enough people in his lifetime with his actions, but I don't like watching any human being suffer foolishly in public like Joe is doing now.
...
Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg

======

He's not suffering. He thinks he's awesome.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (13CQC)

79 CRAP! Fire alarm in the building!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (kQs4Y)

80 Biden channels Commander McBragg.

Posted by: Burger Chef at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (RuIsu)

81 We were ten miles out of Wilmington when the drugs began to take hold.

Then we crossed into New Jersey.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (U7voe)

82 http://bit.ly/2LmUG7F
*******
HUGE! President Trump Tells Reporters 13% of US Companies Will Be Leaving China Soon (VIDEO)

Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (BqBId)

83 Modern art was CIA 'weapon' | The Independent


Y'know, it sure seems like Western Civ would be a lot better off without the CIA and their crackpottery.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (oVJmc)

84 >
*fearfully holds out crucifix at arms length*
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 30, 2019 07:43 PM (Wx/+I)



I know right? And after growing up eating her cauliflower for her so Mom wouldn't beat her with that stuffed duck that she had for veggie infractions.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (pnBLa)

85 Apparently Sidney Powell threw the BS flag at Team Mueller today and the judge is gonna have to make the call to dismiss or proceed
Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead

Other than the hurricane, that's the story of the day.

Posted by: Miklos, news prosumer at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (QzkSJ)

86 Crazy Uncle Joe making a fool out of himself doesn't bother me a bit, the more the better off we will be. I want him laughed out of the candidates.

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 07:47 PM (BbGew)

87 The conviction of Kate Steinle has been overturned.
Unbelievable.

Posted by: redridinghood at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (wiXsO)

88 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (V12mM)

89 The only clothes I own. "

Hmm. A "tall" sized jersey, belted at the waist, partially unbuttoned...

Joe will be right over.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (cdYPW)

90 I have family in Delaware. They think Biden is a boob, an imbecile, and an embarrassment. Yet, they will continue to vote for him until he passes away because his office delivers the favors when called upon.

The stupid, it is strong in my family.
Posted by: Tonypete at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (Y4EXg)


They're still voting for him?? For Senate??? Do they not know he hasn't held that office for more than 10 years?

That is some pretty strong stupid.

Posted by: BurtTC at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (cY3LT)

91 We were ten miles out of Wilmington when the drugs began to take hold.

Then we crossed into New Jersey.
Posted by: Joe Biden


ha

Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (tH5fk)

92 35 I got a cracker.
Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (tH5fk)

I AM a cracker!

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid. at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (Vy7tf)

93 Joe should be in a care home touching a bunch of blue haired women.
And he should have an ankle bracelet that sets off an alarm if wanders too far.

Posted by: N.L. Urker. I will urk until I can't urk anymore. at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (zJmMh)

94 Oh great I got 88 so now I am a nazi

Posted by: Yo! at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (V12mM)

95
Boo Boo for realz today.

Watch: Biden Claims Illegal Immigrants 'Become American' Before Many 'Americans Become American's

-
His truth over facts style.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler

======

Well, AOC beat him to that one. "They're more American than more American than any person who seeks to keep them out will ever be."

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 07:49 PM (13CQC)

96 35
I got a cracker.

Posted by: eleven at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (tH5fk)

========

That's like inner city lingo similar to "I cut a bitch" right?

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 07:49 PM (WqPYg)

97 The Bee : Awesome.

Posted by: garrett at August 30, 2019 07:49 PM (Zd2mR)

98 Valerie Harper has died at 80.

Posted by: andycanuck at August 30, 2019 07:50 PM (Dh1wo)

99 Modern art was CIA 'weapon' | The Independent

I thought the Venona intercepts proved modern art was a Soviet attempt to demoralize the capitalists. Unfortunately for them the rich decided that it was amazing art even though they didn't get it.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 30, 2019 07:50 PM (6XLoz)

100 ... That'/s when the men approached you ... what did they have on? MAGA hats? MAGA hats in Chicago. ... [aside to another police officer] Find out where Kanye West was last night.



Hahahaha!

Posted by: garrett at August 30, 2019 07:50 PM (Zd2mR)

101 >>Joe, as he has effed enough people in his lifetime with his actions, but I don't like watching any human being suffer foolishly in public like Joe is doing now.


Ask yourself this:
-- Why is his family allowing him to do this?
-- Why is the DNC allowing him to do this.
-- Why is the MSM covering his gaffes?

The DNC and MSM covered for Hillary, they're not covering for him. Or, the DNC could quietly get him out of the race, but they're not.

Posted by: Joe at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (bDqIh)

102 Crackers are like Soylent Green only bread not people.

Posted by: eleven channeling Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (tH5fk)

103 When I need to get my edge back, I have Dr Jill bring me a box of Cheerios. I empty the box on the table, and start counting. One little Cheerio, Two little Cheerios. You get the picture. Biden's word, I got up to 72 last night. Maybe it was 43. Some went on the floor. I keep Cheerios in the Trans Am. Great snack food.

Posted by: Joe Biden, man of the people at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (C1Lsn)

104 The conviction of the killer of Kate Steinle has been overturned.
Judge throws out the only remaining conviction of the gun charge that lead to her death.
He had been deported 5 times.

Posted by: redridinghood at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (wiXsO)

105 Valerie Harper has died at 80."

Bummer

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (6qErC)

106
Rhoda is mort?

Posted by: Soothsayer, A Journailst and a Climate Expert at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (vcWqO)

107 He said they put a rope around his neck. Has anyone here ever been to Chicago? All right, so you been there. Now tell me, how much rope do you remember seeing? ... Like when did you get mugged, n*****, 1850? Who's got rope? ... Not only were they not white, they were very, very black. They were Nigerian, which is the funniest sh**. The whole story is funnier now! [in exaggerated Nigerian accent] "This is MAGA country, you f***** n*****!"

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at August 30, 2019 07:36 PM (+y/Ru)

We watched it a couple nights ago. Hysterical!

The LGBQ car routine...so funny!

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (cF8AT)

108 Man, I tell you. The Ia Drang battle, that was a terrible day. Spring of '38, it was, and Vietnam was just starting to thaw out, finally. I was just making friends with the villagers and telling them how beautiful one of their daughters were and how it was a good thing I was a married man--couldn't have been more than twelve, she was--and these bastards start shouting and shooting at me and my buddies, and God we laid waste to them. You know, the army leadership sent in the Buffalo Soldiers to reinforce us, but warn't no finer soldiers than those men I fought with. By the time those buffalo showed up, we had the whole place under control.

They called us heroes, they did. But we weren't. I mean, I was, but we weren't. We were heroes, but it didn't matter, all that mattered was a job well done.

And I still think about that 12-year-old girl sometimes. Wonder if she's got a granddaughter.

-Joe Biden

Posted by: Dr. T at August 30, 2019 07:52 PM (2PXwn)

109 Could we guess how many Morons M making up stories S per day D would equal the amount of bullshit stories Joe has spewed.

False - there is no math on this blog.

Posted by: DaveA at August 30, 2019 07:52 PM (FhXTo)

110 Biden is really too old

Posted by: Yo! at August 30, 2019 07:52 PM (V12mM)

111 94 Oh great I got 88 so now I am a nazi

Posted by: Yo! at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (V12mM)

In Asia you're double lucky.

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 07:53 PM (cF8AT)

112 In a Presidential debate, I can imagine Trump telling a story about how he and Joe were great friends, did great things together, really great things-right Joe? Great guy, Joe Biden.

Trump would tell tale of the wonders of Joe, with frequent "Right Joe?" "You remember that. Joe, Great guy, Joe."


After Biden agrees to everything repeatedly, Trump says

"Sorry, but that was all bullshit. None of it happened. Go away, Joe."

Posted by: Miklos, I would, given the chance at August 30, 2019 07:53 PM (QzkSJ)

113 >>In Asia you're double lucky.


You fear rucky, Punk?

Posted by: garrett at August 30, 2019 07:53 PM (Zd2mR)

114 Oh great I got 88 so now I am a nazi

Posted by: Yo! at August 30, 2019 07:48 PM (V12mM

------

It's all good

Posted by: Heil! at August 30, 2019 07:54 PM (5aX2M)

115 When I need to get my edge back, I have Dr Jill
bring me a box of Cheerios. I empty the box on the table, and start
counting. One little Cheerio, Two little Cheerios. You get the
picture. Biden's word, I got up to 72 last night. Maybe it was 43.
Some went on the floor. I keep Cheerios in the Trans Am. Great snack
food.

Posted by: Joe Biden, man of the people at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (C1Lsn)


Don't get your Cheerios confused with your Alpha-Bits Joe!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Posted by: DangerGirl the SanityProd(tm) is lost at August 30, 2019 07:54 PM (SRarZ)

116
"They're more American than more American than any person who seeks to keep them out will ever be."
Posted by: Blonde Morticia

======

They're more American than any person who seeks to keep them out will ever be.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 07:54 PM (13CQC)

117 Ask yourself this:
-- Why is his family allowing him to do this?

Posted by: Joe at August 30, 2019 07:51 PM (bDqIh)

Because for some reason they think it will yield an advantage of some kind. The real question is, why do you assume a lying grifter's children will grow up with better morals than he has?

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 07:54 PM (U7voe)

118 I remember that night I spent at the WH when the secret service failed to detect a wild crazy night animal and I had to save the president....um...the guy who was my boss. Anyway, I had to get up to relieve the old prostate and I come face to face with the thing with crazy hair everywhere but its triceps. I soon grabbed Abe Lincoln's rifle and Geo Washington's sword and went in pursuit, and although I heard the president yelling run, Michelle, run, I knew she was safe as I had it headed out the door and over the fence. They never needed to have me back. Truth... as a Biden.

Posted by: Joey Biden at August 30, 2019 07:54 PM (r+sAi)

119 Didn't Biden say something about Obama was a poor watermelon seller?

Posted by: Asscheeks of Saturn at August 30, 2019 07:54 PM (Jj+59)

120 >>Didn't Biden say something about Obama was a poor watermelon seller?


Dan Rather

Posted by: garrett at August 30, 2019 07:55 PM (Zd2mR)

121 has been overturned"

IIRC, that was only a state firearm conviction. Still up on federal charges, tho...

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 07:55 PM (6qErC)

122 Awesome.

Looks like Sabathia is done for the year.

Posted by: garrett at August 30, 2019 07:55 PM (Zd2mR)

123

Didn't joke biden call obama "clean?"

Posted by: Soothsayer, A Journailst and a Climate Expert at August 30, 2019 07:56 PM (vcWqO)

124 The really sad part of this is that:

1. This shitshow was a heartbeat away from being president for eight years. In other words, the first major decision that the Stuttering Clusterfuck made was to select a total retard as vice president.

2. The media treats Joe with kid glove. They should be asking him "What the hell are you talking about, Mr. Biden?" And where the fuck are all of those psychologists who want to 25th Amendment the shit of out Trump? Where have they gone? Why aren't they telling us what they think about Joey Dementia?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 30, 2019 07:56 PM (gAXBD)

125 Looks like Sabathia is done for the year."

Si.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 07:56 PM (6qErC)

126
-- Why is his family allowing him to do this?
-- Why is the DNC allowing him to do this.
-- Why is the MSM covering his gaffes?

The DNC and MSM covered for Hillary, they're not covering for him. Or, the DNC could quietly get him out of the race, but they're not.

Posted by: Joe

=======

Family is "letting" him do it because they have no problem with it. They're actually encouraging him.

DNC because they believe he's their best bet to beat Trump.

MSM ditto the DNC.

I think it's pretty straightforward.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 07:56 PM (13CQC)

127 I thought the Venona intercepts proved modern art was a Soviet attempt to demoralize the capitalists.

TBF, so was the CIA.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (5aX2M)

128 Does Joe have any buckets?

Posted by: FL Gas Bucket Guy at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (v0R5T)

129 was Joe on the balcony when MLK was shot?

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (ZqRa6)

130 The CIA Modern Art bit is true.
Jackson Pollack was an op.
There was even a movie about it.
Soviet art of all kinds was tightly controlled.
We wanted to show them what a free society could do.

Posted by: navybrat, sometime commentater at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (w7KSn)

131 i now have an "I'm With Her --->" magnet for my beer fridge outside in the BBQ Pagoda...

it fell off of a Pious today, just as i walked by it, going to pickup the BORS sighting system for Resident 3v1L's Barrett rifle.

timing is everything in life.



Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (6E6gM)

132
Tucker is on in in 4 minutes

Posted by: Yo! at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (V12mM)

133
I saw two "Tulsi" yard signs in Hudson, NH, today.

Posted by: Soothsayer, A Journailst and a Climate Expert at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (vcWqO)

134 And WHY did Fonzie die?

Hi tried to Jump the shark.

True story.

It soon killed him, and the entire series.

Posted by: Don Q at August 30, 2019 07:58 PM (NgKpN)

135
was Joe on the balcony when MLK was shot?


Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (ZqRa6)

---
no.

he was the real shooter. the other guy was just a patsy.

Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 07:58 PM (6E6gM)

136 You do realize that "G.I. Joe" was named after him, right?

In 1998.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 30, 2019 07:58 PM (gAXBD)

137 So could I guess " Red Fag" laws would only be for citizens, and maybe only conservative citizens?

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 07:58 PM (BbGew)

138 Donald J. Trump at realDonaldTrump 2m

“They could have charged Comey with theft of government documents, 641 of the Criminal Code, because the IG found these were not his personal documents, these were government documents.” @GreggJarrett “Comey’s claim that these were just his own personal recollections would not..
....pass the laugh test, and the Inspector General just knocked that down.” ByronYork LouDobbs

Posted by: Billy Ray Gunn at August 30, 2019 07:59 PM (ZS+GP)

139 I was breathless. "What... What was the job again?"



He sighed. My heart skipped a beat. "Vice President of the United
States. That's what we've, uh, been talking about for an hour. I've
also spoken to Liebermann and Bill Clinton's bag, whathername."



My voice cracked. "Forget them! Take me! Take me now!"


=========


"I immediately called Bill Clinton to share the good news, but he sounded disappointed. Said that that boy Barack would have been fetching us coffee on Pedo Island if he wasn't always in a bathhouse somewhere ..." -- Joe Biden

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 07:59 PM (WqPYg)

140 I saw a Kamala bumpersticker in Austin...

Posted by: lin-duh at August 30, 2019 07:59 PM (UUBmN)

141 OT --

I seem to remember someone here mentioning he or she had gout. Well, I was just diagnosed with that yesterday, and would very much appreciate any tips on dealing with it, other than what the NP said about avoiding too much protein.

Bleepity -- there goes my keto!

Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 07:59 PM (SI5Vp)

142
The really sad part of this is that:

1. This shitshow was a heartbeat away from being president for eight years. In other words, the first major decision that the Stuttering Clusterfuck made was to select a total retard as vice president.

========

Val-Jar was the vice-president. Someone -- maybe around here -- dug up his daily calendar once and he literally had one or two hours booked per day.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 08:00 PM (13CQC)

143 Yeah, Gregg Jarrett has been very specific with the numerous violations and counts of each for the unindicted coup-conspirators. Too bad he's not the AG ...

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 08:00 PM (WqPYg)

144 Is this going to be a recurring blog theme for the next fourteen months, or just until Biden drops out?

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at August 30, 2019 08:00 PM (bTFHX)

145 >

Bleepity -- there goes my keto!
Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 07:59 PM (SI5Vp)



Tart cherry juice helps.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:00 PM (pnBLa)

146 I saw two "Tulsi" yard signs in Hudson, NH, today.
Posted by: Soothsayer, A Journailst and a Climate Expert at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (vcWqO)

Tulsi: Vote For The One You Might Bang
Gabbard 2020: You've Never Heard Of Me, Unlike Everyone Else
Vote Tulsi Gabbard: I Make Crazy Look Hawt
Tulsi 2020: Unlike Biden I Have Actual War Stories

Posted by: Vanya at August 30, 2019 08:00 PM (U7voe)

147 Every comedian worth his salt should get behind Chappelle right now. Time to draw the line.

Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice at August 30, 2019 08:01 PM (H8QX8)

148 Val-Jar was the vice-president. Someone -- maybe
around here -- dug up his daily calendar once and he literally had one
or two hours booked per day.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 08:00 PM (13CQC)


========


I'm pretty sure she was the de facto President and Barry the de facto VP.

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 08:01 PM (WqPYg)

149 Every comedian worth his salt should get behind Chappelle right now. Time to draw the line.
Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice


Wha happen?

Posted by: eleven channeling Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:01 PM (tH5fk)

150

Can you name all the Mary Tyler Moore spinoffs?

Posted by: Soothsayer, A Journailst and a Climate Expert at August 30, 2019 08:01 PM (vcWqO)

151 Fonzie died as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation during a cocaine-fueled evening with Pinky Tuscadero and Mrs. Cunningham.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 30, 2019 08:01 PM (gAXBD)

152 Fonzie died as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation during a cocaine-fueled evening with Pinky Tuscadero and Mrs. Cunningham.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 30, 2019 08:01 PM (gAXBD)

*unzips pants*
Eh, that'll do

Posted by: Vanya at August 30, 2019 08:02 PM (U7voe)

153 Jussie Smalwois is from France.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 30, 2019 08:02 PM (gAXBD)

154 has been overturned"

IIRC, that was only a state firearm conviction. Still up on federal charges, tho...
Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 07:55 PM (6qErC)
************

Free as bird on both and California won't turn him over to ICE to be deported.

Posted by: redridinghood at August 30, 2019 08:02 PM (wiXsO)

155
I'm pretty sure she was the de facto President and Barry the de facto VP.
Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters

=======

Actually, yeah. He was a spokesmodel.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 30, 2019 08:03 PM (13CQC)

156 Can you name all the Mary Tyler Moore spinoffs?
Posted by: Soothsayer


Rhoda.

Posted by: eleven channeling Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:04 PM (tH5fk)

157 credit where credit is due. there have been plenty of times I could have lied, but forgot to. Come on man!

Posted by: Regular joe at August 30, 2019 08:05 PM (6/uwW)

158 I'm pretty sure she was the de facto President and Barry the de facto VP.
Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 08:01 PM (WqPYg)


No, Obama was the guy who get her coffee.

Posted by: DR.WTF at August 30, 2019 08:05 PM (aS1PU)

159 145 --

Tart cherry juice? Don't know if you're serious or not, but I just added it to tomorrow's shopping list. I love the stuff, but it's too pricey for "just because I like it". If it's medicinal, though --- YUMMY!

Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 08:06 PM (SI5Vp)

160 Mary Tyler Moore spinoffs


Lou Grant, Rhoda and I think Ted Baxter wife had a spinoff, maybe even Betty White.

Posted by: lowandslow at August 30, 2019 08:06 PM (4thlk)

161 Gout?

https://www.webmd.com/arthritis/understanding-gout-prevention

Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 08:06 PM (6E6gM)

162 do you remember when we were surrounded and outnumbered and I told the Germans "Nuts!"

Joe Biden, not making it up.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:06 PM (ZqRa6)

163 The Babylon Bee is like AoSHQ, but with pants.

And a sweater vest.

and Cudgels of Righteous Smiting!

Love those people. They remind me of my older son. He's a devout Evangelical Christian, but is also a fan of shows like South Park.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not Actually Irish at August 30, 2019 08:06 PM (WRzG+)

164
Lou Grant, Rhoda and I think Ted Baxter wife had a spinoff, maybe even Betty White.

Posted by: lowandslow


So close.

Posted by: Soothsayer, A Journailst and a Climate Expert at August 30, 2019 08:07 PM (vcWqO)

165 LOL Thanks ace!! (posted by: Joe Biden)

Posted by: ... at August 30, 2019 08:07 PM (uEbPt)

166 though he was quick to clarify that he should still be the one to wield the Ring of Power.

That was a nice touch.

Posted by: t-bird at August 30, 2019 08:08 PM (cfSLd)

167 28 I'm in the market for a twin sister on the blog. Mine disowned me today.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:38 PM (pnBLa)

===

A prayer for peace in your house

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 30, 2019 08:08 PM (EZebt)

168 re 160: I think there was also a Cloris Leachman "Phyllis" spinoff but I'm not Joe Biden so I can't be sure.

Ted Baxter's show was not a spinoff, but was maybe the first prime time series to go directly into syndication.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:08 PM (ZqRa6)

169 So close.
Posted by: Soothsayer


The Love Boat?

Posted by: eleven channeling Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:08 PM (tH5fk)

170 I seem to remember someone here mentioning he or she had gout. Well, I was just diagnosed with that yesterday, and would very much appreciate any tips on dealing with it, other than what the NP said about avoiding too much protein.

Bleepity -- there goes my keto!

Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 07:59 PM (SI5Vp)

Real black cherry juice. Look for the good stuff.

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 08:09 PM (cF8AT)

171 Those are people who died died
Those are people who died died
All my friends.......they died

Posted by: Norman Spiny at August 30, 2019 08:09 PM (v0qEa)

172 BTW, the TVCN model run now has Dorian grazing the FL coast from Melbourne on up to Wilmington, NC, and the GFS track is now east of Orlando.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 08:09 PM (6qErC)

173

Yeah, Phyllis.

Posted by: Soothsayer, A Journailst and a Climate Expert at August 30, 2019 08:09 PM (vcWqO)

174
Biden shot down the Red Barron !!

Posted by: Yo! at August 30, 2019 08:09 PM (V12mM)

175
Does Joe have any buckets?

Posted by: FL Gas Bucket Guy at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (v0R5T)



He was drinking out of them

Posted by: TheQuietMan at August 30, 2019 08:09 PM (rd5/U)

176 Holy hell, this thread is fucking gold

Posted by: Josephistan at August 30, 2019 08:09 PM (Izzlo)

177 didn't Betty White go into that show with Bea Arthur? Can't remember the name. "Three Old Bats and a Mother" or something like that.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:10 PM (ZqRa6)

178 If Joe wins then their legal issues disappear.

Posted by: Asscheeks of Saturn at August 30, 2019 08:10 PM (Jj+59)

179 Let me tell you a.. a.. a story, and, this is the God's honest truth, the God's honest truth as I stand here a patriot and astronaut, let me tell you about the time we ran that son of a bitch Gargamel off the smurf village for good, and let me tell you something, you don't know fear, you don't know fear until you face down that bolt-eyed, dress-wearing lunatic at 3 in the morning, coming in low, over his compound, just me and a half dozen S.E.A.Ls, good guys, the best, and let me tell you, they said, 'Joe, it would have gone bad, it would have gone real bad iffen you ain't been there, it would have gone real bad, if you weren't there to hold us together when that smurf-eating crazy come at us', you know he can do magic? He can do magic. He's a wizard. Anyway, that's how I got to bang Smurfett back in '48, but that's now why I did it. I didn't do it for that, I did it for love of America, and Smurfs are Americans too, no matter what those who seek to divide us say, little blue Americans.

Posted by: HavenMiles at August 30, 2019 08:10 PM (jf84u)

180 Golden Girls

Posted by: JT at August 30, 2019 08:10 PM (arJlL)

181 I expressed interest in making potato salad with cauliflower instead of taters. Recipe in sidebar.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (pnBLa)

---
Good for her, you heretic!

Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 08:10 PM (6E6gM)

182 Go to my website, Joe 3030, and call the email number for the latest updates.

Today we're having some chimichanga and Yoo Hoo in honor of General Tso at the food court in Biloxi.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:11 PM (r3Pef)

183 and don't forget how Biden slew Fafner and got the Ring.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:11 PM (ZqRa6)

184 Kate Steinle's accused killer found not guilty, of her under AND the weapons charge.

Maybe Dorian can hit **that Bay Area.

Posted by: Shopgirl #PatrickIsMahomesie at August 30, 2019 08:11 PM (Jln19)

185 I say its example 493 of why we are done as a country, illegals are treated as super class above citizens.

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:12 PM (BbGew)

186 Potato salad? Isn't that something you eat with... fried chicken? Does this make Joe Biden a cultural appropriator, or a perpetuator of racist stereotypes?

You Make the Call! (TM)

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 08:12 PM (H3MF8)

187 I expressed interest in making potato salad with cauliflower instead of taters. Recipe in sidebar.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (pnBLa)


Who do you think you are? Oprah?

Posted by: DR.WTF at August 30, 2019 08:12 PM (aS1PU)

188 131 i now have an "I'm With Her --->" magnet for my beer fridge outside in the BBQ Pagoda...

it fell off of a Pious today, just as i walked by it, going to pickup the BORS sighting system for Resident 3v1L's Barrett rifle.

timing is everything in life.



Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 07:57 PM (6E6gM)

Does my 'I'm with Heer' sticker on the truck scream white supremacist?

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at August 30, 2019 08:12 PM (LGo6U)

189 When Biden was in Korea and told he was surrounded he said Good I can shoot in all directions

Posted by: Yo! at August 30, 2019 08:12 PM (V12mM)

190 "Can you name all the Mary Tyler Moore spinoffs?-- Posted by Soothsayer

The Bionic Woman.

Wonder Woman.




Posted by: Anonymous 7 at August 30, 2019 08:12 PM (bTFHX)

191 Valerie Harper has died at 80.


Posted by: andycanuck at August 30, 2019 07:50 PM (Dh1wo)

Oh no! Her Muppet Show episode was great, and Pookette loves to sing and dance to "Broadway Baby" and "Nobody Does It Like Me."

Posted by: pookysgirl, physics warpmaster at August 30, 2019 08:12 PM (XKZwp)

192 of her **murder


Wow. I'm so pissed I'm typo-ing.

Posted by: Shopgirl #PatrickIsMahomesie at August 30, 2019 08:12 PM (Jln19)

193 "So I tied an onion on my belt. which was the style at the time. Now to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bees on them. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter', you'd say..."

- Grandpa Joe Biden.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at August 30, 2019 08:13 PM (j4zcI)

194 The other almost funny bit is that some Puerto Rico officials seem upset that they didn't get storm damage...

Sad, they are.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 08:13 PM (6qErC)

195 130 The CIA Modern Art bit is true.
Jackson Pollack was an op.
There was even a movie about it.
Soviet art of all kinds was tightly controlled.
We wanted to show them what a free society could do.

=======
Looks like the Soviets won this one. Just like the rest of the times the went up against the Ivy League ponces in the CIA.

Posted by: Vlad the implaer, whittling away like mad at August 30, 2019 08:13 PM (dmoiP)

196 >>> I saw two "Tulsi" yard signs in Hudson, NH, today.

I drive past a Tulsi billboard in Manchester, NH most every weekend.

Posted by: fluffy at August 30, 2019 08:13 PM (dCRRg)

197 >
Tart cherry juice? Don't know if you're serious or not, but I just added it to tomorrow's shopping list. I love the stuff, but it's too pricey for "just because I like it". If it's medicinal, though --- YUMMY!
Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 08:0



Not kidding at all. See Tami's post above as well.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:13 PM (pnBLa)

198 but I recall that after Clinton in 1991/92 came up with five different explanations as to how he avoided the Viet Nam draft, the MSM (pretty much all the new channels in those days) decided that we were tired of hearing about that so the subject was dropped.

So how long till the real news media decide that Biden's gaffes are no longer really newsworthy?

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:13 PM (ZqRa6)

199 Fonzie died as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation during a cocaine-fueled evening with Pinky Tuscadero and Mrs. Cunningham.

On his way back to his home planet.

*lights a votary candle for Poochie*

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 08:14 PM (ykYG2)

200 National Hurricane Center

https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/

you can follow along there.

Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 08:14 PM (6E6gM)

201 Is this going to be a recurring blog theme for the next fourteen months, or just until Biden drops out? "

Yes.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 08:14 PM (6qErC)

202 I expressed interest in making potato salad with cauliflower instead of taters. Recipe in sidebar.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (pnBLa)


Sorry bub...we're all with Bluebell on this one.

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 08:14 PM (cF8AT)

203 There I was, about ten miles north of Normandy. We were really giving it to the Japs that day, let me tell you. I'm driving this jeep back to the Kaserine Pass when a call came in from HQ. If I didn't keep the jeep above 50 mph, a bomb would go off. It was then that Charlton Heston came down, suspended from a 747, and saved the day. He told me he couldn't have done it without my bravery. True story.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:14 PM (kTF2Z)

204 >
---
Good for her, you heretic!
Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 08:10 PM (6E6gM)




Oh great! Now there is a line to disown me. Tough crowd.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:15 PM (pnBLa)

205 Kate Steinle's accused killer found not guilty, of her under AND the weapons charge.

Maybe Dorian can hit **that Bay Area.
Posted by: Shopgirl #PatrickIsMahomesie at August 30, 2019 08:11 PM (Jln19)

Dear Lord.

I...
Lord, grant me the strength...

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not Actually Irish at August 30, 2019 08:15 PM (WRzG+)

206 and then there was MTM's attempt to make a comeback around 1987. The original MTM series with everything the opposite. Disaster.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:15 PM (ZqRa6)

207 Not sure why everybody's leaving. If there's trouble, you just dial 911...

Posted by: My First Hurricane! at August 30, 2019 08:16 PM (VP1E6)

208 The Bee. LOL!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at August 30, 2019 08:16 PM (Hw2fJ)

209 Sorry bub...we're all with Bluebell on this one.
Posted by: Tami

Is she holding you at knifepoint ?

Posted by: JT at August 30, 2019 08:16 PM (arJlL)

210 161, Red

Thanks much! The second pic down on the right side of that page shows my exact problem. And it didn't take much for the NP to diagnose gout, once I told her it was restricted to the joint, not going to the toe or back into the foot.

She told me she could give me some meds, or I could try to control it with diet and the naproxen I was taking, that helped -- I chose the second, and it's already eased off some.

Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (SI5Vp)

211 "Biden shot down the Red Barron !!"


The first thing that came to mind when I saw Biden telling the story was Snoopy quaffing a few root beers and telling war stories.

Posted by: lowandslow at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (4thlk)

212 Kate Steinle's accused killer found not guilty"

Nope.

He was only brought up on state (CA) weapons charges, which were dismissed due to a procedural (yeah, sure) error.

Dude was never going to be convicted of jack in CA.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (6qErC)

213 Oh great! Now there is a line to disown me. Tough crowd.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:15 PM (pnBLa)

*pulls ticket*

*39456*

Shit.

*looks at guy with #40*

Wanna trade?

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not Actually Irish at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (WRzG+)

214 163 The Babylon Bee is like AoSHQ, but with pants

=======
I believe Frank J from IMAO writes for them.

Posted by: Vlad the implaer, whittling away like mad at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (dmoiP)

215 Steinle's murderer gets his gun possession charged dropped on appeal because of a technicality in the jury instructions.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (dNzKv)

216 Muad'dib,
I will try that "potato" salad recipe with cauliflower.

Posted by: lin-duh at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (UUBmN)

217 Didn't joke biden call obama "clean?"

That was Harry Reid. Another doddering retard. It's just that his handlers informed Reid of the obvious after Reid got his face punched in by his own exercise bike, and/or by Vinny from Calabria.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (ykYG2)

218 >

Is she holding you at knifepoint ?
Posted by: JT at August 30, 2019 0



Good call.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (pnBLa)

219 Watching The Great Escape for the 70th time but sadly have to work a few hours in the early morning.

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:18 PM (BbGew)

220 You will be relieved to know the fire alarm was nothing atoll.

The Dungeon of Discord is safe.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at August 30, 2019 08:18 PM (kQs4Y)

221 "The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
He drink whiskey, Poncho drink the wine
He drink whiskey, Poncho drink the wine"

I wrote that song, because that's a true story, I swear to god.
The Cisco Kid, he was a friend of mine.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:19 PM (V2Yro)

222 >Muad'dib,
I will try that "potato" salad recipe with cauliflower.
Posted by: lin-duh at August 30, 2019 08:17 PM (UUBmN)


thank You! I'm trying it this weekend as well.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:19 PM (pnBLa)

223 The Dungeon of Discord is safe.
Posted by: All Hail Eris,

Good !

Posted by: JT at August 30, 2019 08:19 PM (arJlL)

224 Well never saw that before Both ends if the double play over turned. Lol. Go Yankees

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 30, 2019 08:19 PM (85Gof)

225

I invented GoJo hand cleaner.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:20 PM (aKsyK)

226 There I was, staring at the uprights. I was gonna win this game. The ball was snapped and I made my approach. The Lucy pulled the ball at the last minute. Bitch

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:20 PM (kTF2Z)

227 Well never saw that before Both ends if the double play over turned. Lol. Go Yankees
Posted by: Nevergiveup

Good !

Posted by: JT at August 30, 2019 08:20 PM (arJlL)

228 Joe Biden owes me money.

True story

Posted by: Miklos Biden, Jr. at August 30, 2019 08:21 PM (QzkSJ)

229 wasn't "The Great Escape" based on Biden's heroic escapades in the Senate where Reagan tried to declare Marshall Law in 1983?

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:21 PM (ZqRa6)

230 Well, 6 months of kept here and down 15lbs. Slow but steady... If I eat carbs now I get dizzy/ lightheaded.

Posted by: lin-duh at August 30, 2019 08:21 PM (UUBmN)

231 Keto not kept....

Posted by: lin-duh at August 30, 2019 08:21 PM (UUBmN)

232 Daylight saving time ? Me. Also nighttime savings time.

Posted by: Joe Binden at August 30, 2019 08:22 PM (bUjCl)

233 Peggy Noonan is voting for Joe, so there's that.

Posted by: Asscheeks of Saturn at August 30, 2019 08:22 PM (Jj+59)

234 Way to go Lin-duh!

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:22 PM (pnBLa)

235 Joey Bidet invented the whoopi cushion by accident after getting mugged by a mime.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 30, 2019 08:22 PM (7whwK)

236 I once risked my life to rescue Brian Williams under heavy enemy fire.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:22 PM (kTF2Z)

237 Muad'dib,
Thanks. Still have a way to go but I'm good with it so far.

Posted by: lin-duh at August 30, 2019 08:23 PM (UUBmN)

238 I heard that Biden was the inspiration for "Portnoy's Complaint"
Imagine that, a groundhog who masturbated. Whew.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:23 PM (ZqRa6)

239
Sorry bub...we're all with Bluebell on this one.
Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 08:14 PM (cF8AT)
------
Good Lord, yes to this.
Don't make bluebell mad. You wouldn't like bluebell when she's mad.

Posted by: Cap'n Weasel at August 30, 2019 08:23 PM (QtXuC)

240 So how long till the real news media decide that Biden's gaffes are no longer really newsworthy?


Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:13 PM (ZqRa6)

About 45 seconds after it is assured that he, and only he, will be the Democrat nominee.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet - Exclusive Distributors for The Old Appalachian Wrath Shop! at August 30, 2019 08:23 PM (L5Ypf)

241 it might have been martial law, or even marital law, but prob not marshall law.

Posted by: dr kill at August 30, 2019 08:23 PM (Jj+59)

242 197 --

Yup, saw that, and promptly doubled what I'm getting. Something I actually LIKE, that's also good for me? Wa-HOO! Seems gout may have its good side!

Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 08:23 PM (SI5Vp)

243 I cheated death at cards.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:24 PM (bUjCl)

244 Don't look now, but Bill Barr is allegedly on Epstein's list. . . .

Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (AwPyG)

245 I'm the one who trained bluebell on the tactical spork.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (kTF2Z)

246 I fought the law and I won.
True story.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (aS1PU)

247 I groped Death during a Twister match.

Posted by: Joe Biden, All Hands on Glands! at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (kQs4Y)

248 >
Good Lord, yes to this.
Don't make bluebell mad. You wouldn't like bluebell when she's mad.
Posted by: Cap'n Weasel at August 30, 2019 08:23 PM (QtXuC)



I have the shiv wounds to put true to this.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (pnBLa)

249 US forces in Kabul tried to trade Joey Bidet for Bowe Bergdahl, but the Taliban thought the goat was too old and refused.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (7whwK)

250 Is she holding you at knifepoint ?

Posted by: JT at August 30, 2019 08:16 PM (arJlL)

No...of course not!


(see...I said what you wanted me to say, now removed the point from my side.)

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (cF8AT)

251 If I eat carbs now I get dizzy/ lightheaded."

You don't have to drink the whole case of beer, you know.

At once.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (6qErC)

252 Well, I just said to Hunter, "you tell those Chinee bastards that your Dad is a powerful Capo in these Americas and they better come across with some cash to bail out your strung-out ass or I will bring the Ghost Winds down on them like an enraged dragon. And you bet they came across with the dough. Where was I? Oh, yeah, foreign policy."

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (ed8K1)

253

I beat Death at chess. He got mad and knocked over the board.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (aKsyK)

254 Here's a theory someone advanced that I read the other day: Biden's "gaffes" aren't really gaffes at all. He's doing this deliberately because he actually doesn't want to run for president and is trying to take himself out of the race.

Hard to believe that Biden is actually capable of concocting such a strategy.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (bTFHX)

255 re241: wasn't sure but we're talking about Biden here. He was the first Biden to graduate in the top half of his law school's cafeteria

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (ZqRa6)

256 Let me tell you a story, this is a true story, about a man named Jed. He was a poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed. Until one day an alien spaceship gave him a red power suit that allowed him to fly. He said to me "Joe", I remember this like it was yesterday, "Joe, it's really you that's the greatest American hero". And that's why my wife Dr. Lisa and I moved to that farm by Petticoat Junction.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (N0K3k)

257 Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:19 PM (V2Yro

Was this before or after you went in to get lobotomies together?

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (H3MF8)

258 it's really you that's the greatest American hero"

Well, the perm explains the need for hair plugs...

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 30, 2019 08:27 PM (6qErC)

259 Don't look now, but Bill Barr is allegedly on Epstein's list. . . .

Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (AwPyG)

Seriously?

Posted by: Sharrukin2 at August 30, 2019 08:27 PM (ltuaO)

260 Biden claims the Chinese Hand Laundry will give him his shirts even when he has no tickee.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:27 PM (ZqRa6)

261 Because of Joey Bidet's roaming hands, Dr. Jill Biden patented silicone boobs.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 30, 2019 08:27 PM (7whwK)

262 Peggy Noonan. The Bush Senior Presidency thanks your speechwriting skillz for the Republican Congresses 1989 on and for Bush's second term 1993 on.

How does Noonan still have a job that's not in the vital housekeeping or foodservice industries?

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 08:28 PM (ykYG2)

263 So I said to Al back in college, World Wide Web. Think about it. Like a big spider web ! And you could post Glorious or Awesome or Some Pig and people will flock to it. Man, those were good times. Except for the wedgies. Those were tough. True Story.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:28 PM (r3Pef)

264 Can somebody post the link for the Sunday Movie Thread suggestion Email box?

I need to send an idea.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at August 30, 2019 08:28 PM (hYUjK)

265 Here's a theory someone advanced that I read the other day: Biden's "gaffes" aren't really gaffes at all. He's doing this deliberately because he actually doesn't want to run for president and is trying to take himself out of the race.

Hard to believe that Biden is actually capable of concocting such a strategy.
Posted by: Anonymous 7 at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (bTFHX)


Trump, you magnificent bastard!
I read your book!

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:28 PM (aS1PU)

266 I invented GoJo hand cleaner.
Posted by: Joe Biden

Waitress sandwich?

Taught those crazy Kennedy and Dodd kids everything they knew.

Because I was a pallbearer for the one guy's father, President Rose Marie Kennedy.

Loved that lady, lower right square, am I right? Paul Lynde was a life-long Democrat longfriend, LBJ should have picked him for VP in '48, Truman would have won, I'm tellin' ya.

Posted by: Miklos Biden, Jr. at August 30, 2019 08:28 PM (QzkSJ)

267 Dorian in motion

https://tinyurl.com/yxzcbvys

https://preview.tinyurl.com/yxzcbvys

Posted by: Billy Ray Gunn at August 30, 2019 08:28 PM (ZS+GP)

268 I was there in the mansion. The body was on the floor, a bloody candlestick nearby. They all said it was Miss Scarlet, but I knew no dame with hair that smelled so terrific could have done it. It was that fruit Professor Plum that was guilty. He was in a jam financially, and it all came out.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:28 PM (L5Ypf)

269 I remember it like it was yesterday! Pontius Pilate was about to release the Hebrew king or whatever, and uh I said to him, I said, "Ponch!" That's what I called him back then. "Ponch, hold your horses. The crowd keeps asking for this Barabas guy, and maybe we should hear them out."

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:29 PM (LxTcq)

270 It was June the 6th 1945, this 85 star general, I believe it was Omar Shariff or Bradley Cooper or something told us all to synchronize our Swatches. The general then said "Mr. President, you really don't have to do this with us, we got your back". That's when I stuck a knife between my teeth, climbed up that cliff at Pont du Hoc and took those pillboxes out.

Posted by: Uncle Joe at August 30, 2019 08:30 PM (k5hWy)

271 He said to me "I drink your milkshake." Milkshake! I told him "I don't know what a 'milkshake' is, but can I smell your wife's hair?"

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:30 PM (ed8K1)

272 "
Here's a theory someone advanced that I read the other day: Biden's
"gaffes" aren't really gaffes at all. He's doing this deliberately
because he actually doesn't want to run for president and is trying to
take himself out of the race."

Ah, the old 'this can't be happening, this is all a nightmare' explanation.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outra at August 30, 2019 08:31 PM (L5Ypf)

273 *giggles*

If the Empress was an AI, we would have Jexi for real.

https://youtu.be/EtpBbRsNr-M

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 30, 2019 08:31 PM (7whwK)

274 Once, long ago, I helped clear Gotham of scum. Just me. I had a cape. Also a mask. And a cool car. Made vroom, vroom noises. Gadgets. One made martini on demand. Pretty cool stuff. You could dispense olives right there, in the the glove compartment.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:31 PM (bUjCl)

275 You can say the sun rises in the east. But follow it with "my word as a Biden" and you are disqualified for obvious mental illness.

Posted by: xnycpeasant at August 30, 2019 08:31 PM (SqopC)

276 259 Don't look now, but Bill Barr is allegedly on Epstein's list. . . .
Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (AwPyG)

Seriously?
Posted by: Sharrukin2 at August 30, 2019 08:27 PM (ltuaO)

The only connection I've heard is that Barr's father worked for a Washington Law Firm that represented Epstein a few years back. that's a pretty weak connection.

Posted by: Tom Servo at August 30, 2019 08:31 PM (V2Yro)

277 @259 if the list going around on the internet is true. George Bush, Tom Hanks, Oprah, Alec Baldwin, lots of big names. Alan Derowitz (sp?) who keeps proclaiming his innocence.
Fun fact: even after 2008 conviction, NM did not list Esptein as a registered sex offender, and his Zorro Ranch (in NM) hasn't been searched to this day.

Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:32 PM (AwPyG)

278 Don't look now, but Bill Barr is allegedly on Epstein's list. . . .

They can put anybody on the list now.

Posted by: t-bird at August 30, 2019 08:32 PM (Ibwur)

279 Biden's "gaffes" aren't really gaffes at all. He's doing this deliberately because he actually doesn't want to run for president and is trying to take himself out of the race.

It might also be possible that Biden is a demented old idiot.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 08:33 PM (ykYG2)

280 Hey! I decide who goes on The List!

Posted by: Chris Jericho at August 30, 2019 08:33 PM (NWiLs)

281 Minion-"The Biden is performing according to the Plan"

Hillary-"In all respects?"

Flunky-"Yes Majesty, even beyond expectations."

Hillary-"Most excellent. I grant you an additional month of life."

Posted by: Miklos, with extinct volcano for sale/lease at August 30, 2019 08:33 PM (QzkSJ)

282 One time... I was dangerously incompetent. True story.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:34 PM (bUjCl)

283 Biden wishes he had Isildur's grizzled good looks and charisma.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:34 PM (ycWCI)

284 Or was that Obama and he did not 'want' those looks so much as...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (ycWCI)

285 But follow it with "my word as a Biden" and you are disqualified for obvious mental illness.

As a security measure, all FBI 302's are certified for veracity by a signature and a checkmark:

[x] On my word as a Biden

Posted by: t-bird at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (Ry8mf)

286 Apparently, the air traffic people in the Virgin Islands would watch them get on the plane with the young girls and make jokes.

Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (AwPyG)

287 I beat Death at chess. He got mad and knocked over the board.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:26 PM (aKsyK)

________


"And screw that phoney Al Gore. In addition to "The Seventh Seal," I was the inspiration for 'The Love Bug.'"

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (wxUB5)

288 Don't look now, but Bill Barr is allegedly on Epstein's list. . . .
Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (AwPyG)


His name is at the bottom of the list.

Written in red ink.

In big block letters.

With a red arrow pointing at it and the words "LOOK HERE!" written next to it.

Posted by: DR.WTF at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (aS1PU)

289 282 One time... I was dangerously incompetent. True story.
Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:34 PM (bUjCl)

Incompetent. Incontinent. Let's call the whole thing off.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (ycWCI)

290 46 >
Oh no! What happened?
Posted by: grammie winger at August 30, 2019 07:39 PM (lwiT4)



I expressed interest in making potato salad with cauliflower instead of taters. Recipe in sidebar.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (pnBLa)



Mmmmmm, keto tater salad.

I always wanted to be a twin, and I cook.

Posted by: Flyover at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (B5K06)

291 People say I could never beat Trump. Let me tell you, folks, I once was President, assistant President, to that guy, you know, clean and articulate and all. Nice guy, real Philadelphia mensch, wouldn't eat a burger if someone else wanted it, great Baltimore guy, represented Florida like no one. Tried to smell his wife's hair once, and it was a wig! Can't tell me a thing, I know it all, you need me up there.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (ed8K1)

292 even after 2008 conviction, NM did not list Epstein as a registered sex offender

Yo. New Mexico. If they arrested every paedo or sex offender in the state, the northwest of the state would become Children Of The Corn overnight

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 08:36 PM (ykYG2)

293
Valerie Harper has passed away from cancer at 80. RIP.

In the sidebar.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 30, 2019 08:36 PM (zBaqJ)

294 "And screw that phoney Al Gore. In addition to "The Seventh Seal," I was the inspiration for 'The Love Bug.'"

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (wxUB5)

Michelle Lee was a young crush for me.


Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:37 PM (ycWCI)

295 >>> Don't look now, but Bill Barr is allegedly on Epstein's list. . . .

Epstein-Barr list

Posted by: fluffy at August 30, 2019 08:37 PM (dCRRg)

296 Barr so far isn't on any Democrats lists, he's batting .000 in trying to indict them.

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:37 PM (BbGew)

297 MOVIE THREAD E-MAIL CONTACT

please?

Anybody?!?

Posted by: Nom de Blog at August 30, 2019 08:37 PM (hYUjK)

298 RIP Rhoda.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:38 PM (ycWCI)

299 People keep going on about women's issues in this campaign. You wanna talk women's issues? When I was a Cuban band leader, my wife was always on me to put her in the show to do her stand-up. True story. So one day I said "let's see what you got kid". And that comedian went on to become Chester A Arthur.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:38 PM (N0K3k)

300 288 Don't look now, but Bill Barr is allegedly on Epstein's list. . . .
Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:25 PM (AwPyG)


His name is at the bottom of the list.

Written in red ink.

In big block letters.

With a red arrow pointing at it and the words "LOOK HERE!" written next to it.
Posted by: DR.WTF at August 30, 2019 08:35 PM (aS1PU)

"Bill Barr, D.A., Olde Hickory House"

Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:38 PM (NWiLs)

301 @288
apparently the list is part of the released documents from the Florida plea deal, and public record.
Acosta and Barr are on it, as is Dershowitz.
Makes sense, maybe? "Unexplained suicide."

Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:39 PM (AwPyG)

302 The Babylon Bee + AoSHQ = __________-

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at August 30, 2019 08:39 PM (14X8t)

303 Shit, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that I'm on that list, and the only
Epstein I'm familiar with is Juan from Welcome Back, Kotter. RIP,
Rob Hegyes...

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 08:39 PM (H3MF8)

304 Insom, are you going to shelter in place or shelter in Seattle?

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:40 PM (pnBLa)

305 They found Epstein's Hs yearbook with a note that said
"Thanks for the girls- AG William Barr June 10, 1968"

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 30, 2019 08:40 PM (dNzKv)

306 "And screw that phoney Al Gore. In addition to "The Seventh Seal," I was the inspiration for 'The Love Bug.'"

Posted by: ShainS

My wife calls me "the Incredible Mr. Limpet".

Don't know why, but you can ask her, Dr. Joe Biden

Posted by: Joe Biden, true original at August 30, 2019 08:40 PM (QzkSJ)

307 304 Insom, are you going to shelter in place or shelter in Seattle?
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:40 PM (pnBLa)

I'll be sheltering in place. I wish I was sheltering in Seattle.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:40 PM (NWiLs)

308 I think Dershowitz and Boies represented Epstein in the "plea deal", so not totally unbelievable.

Posted by: artemis at August 30, 2019 08:41 PM (AwPyG)

309 The Babylon Bee + AoSHQ = __________-

===

The Babylon Bee + AoSHQ = Thermonukelar reaction.

Posted by: An scientist at August 30, 2019 08:41 PM (bUjCl)

310 I'll be sheltering in place. I wish I was sheltering in Seattle.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:40 PM (NWiLs)

How about you and Nurse meet in the middle and shelter in South Dakota?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:41 PM (ycWCI)

311 Posted by: Nom de Blog at August 30, 2019 08:37 PM

If no one has it handy try finding last movie thread, there every 6-8 weeks between 6 -8 fishing threads

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:41 PM (BbGew)

312 There was this time I was afraid to cut the cake.....just wouldn't do it.......and then I ran off to Fire Lake. True story, Kenny Loggins even wrote a song about it.

Posted by: Uncle Joe at August 30, 2019 08:42 PM (k5hWy)

313 Oh great! Now there is a line to disown me. Tough crowd.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:15 PM (pnBLa)

===
You made me pray for you!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 30, 2019 08:42 PM (EZebt)

314 >
I'll be sheltering in place. I wish I was sheltering in Seattle.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:40 PM


I'll bet.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:42 PM (pnBLa)

315 I would think a conservative in Seattle is sheltering in place daily

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:42 PM (BbGew)

316 Joe "Quigley" Biden is much smarter than you are, as he well knows: https://youtu.be/NDj3s1sX7-E

Posted by: Ten at August 30, 2019 08:43 PM (CPWXU)

317


Do you remember the moon landing? Well I told President Taft, look man you have to go on TV and tell the people about it. You've got to make some kind of speech about that. He didn't want to so I said fine, that's just fine. I'll write it. So I write this speech and he gives it and later it became known as the Gettysburg Address. True story, my word as a Biden

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:43 PM (SHaAt)

318 Heck, no! We want Insom and the Nurse in Texas! (Preferably somewhere here around Nacogdoches. Will be happy to help 'em find a nice place.)

Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 08:44 PM (SI5Vp)

319 >
===
You made me pray for you!
Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 30, 2019 08:42 PM (EZebt)



I'm sorry! But I appreciate your kindness. I bet you wouldn't disown me over cooking with cauliflower.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:44 PM (pnBLa)

320 So I stumble back to the corner and say Cut Me, Mick ! because I wasn't going down without a fight. And Mick, real good guy, hey, stand up, Mick ! Oh yeah, sorry about that Mick.

Then I turn around and say No, YOU'RE It ! And I slap the skin off of a Russian guy who was acting all cool but I would have taken him behind the bleachers back in the day and True Story Man.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:44 PM (r3Pef)

321 310 I'll be sheltering in place. I wish I was sheltering in Seattle.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:40 PM (NWiLs)

How about you and Nurse meet in the middle and shelter in South Dakota?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:41 PM (ycWCI)

That would be fine too. Always have wanted to see Mt. Rushmore. Alas I won't be going anywhere at present.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:44 PM (NWiLs)

322 in Biden's version of "The Sevent Seal" the Knight and Satan play Go Fish.

Years ago, National Lampoon had the Knight and Satan in a pizza eating contest. No pineapple as I recall.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:45 PM (ZqRa6)

323 The Heads are nice.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:45 PM (ycWCI)

324 Email any suggestions or questions to thejamesmadison.aos at symbol gmail dot com

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:45 PM (BbGew)

325 323 The Heads are nice.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:45 PM (ycWCI)

They're animatronic, right?

Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:46 PM (NWiLs)

326 Ask Jeff Epstein where the pineapple's at.

Posted by: ol' Stan at August 30, 2019 08:46 PM (ykYG2)

327 Insom, you and The Nurse could even come to Denver! I have a fold-out sofa in my couch.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 08:47 PM (H3MF8)

328

And there's Uncle Joe, his brain's moving kind of slow at the junction. Pitiful junction.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 30, 2019 08:47 PM (aKsyK)

329 A fold-out bed, I mean.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 08:47 PM (H3MF8)

330 Way past bed time, stop by at 4am if your up

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:48 PM (BbGew)

331 They're animatronic, right?
Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:46 PM (NWiLs)

Yep, right next to the giant bears with banjos carved out of redwoods.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:48 PM (ycWCI)

332 >
329 A fold-out bed, I mean.
Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 08:47 PM (H3MF




Upgrade your hearing protection.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:48 PM (pnBLa)

333 141 OT --

I seem to remember someone here mentioning he or she had gout. Well, I was just diagnosed with that yesterday, and would very much appreciate any tips on dealing with it, other than what the NP said about avoiding too much protein.

Bleepity -- there goes my keto!
Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 07:59 PM (SI5Vp)

Maybe not...
https://tinyurl.com/y2wjxau8

https://youtu.be/mgLoC_dxjPI

Posted by: Flyover at August 30, 2019 08:48 PM (B5K06)

334 I used Apo-Allopurinol for several years as a gout preventative. I eventually stopped and haven't had a recurrence I think mainly from dropping alcohol.

I can't recall the short-term treatments I had for the three attacks I had over several years but once was Colchicine just three (or six?) pills over three days but it worked fine and I didn't suffer any of its side-effects.

I got diet info from a Canadian rheumatism-arthritis website so internet searching for "gout diet" will probably find something useful. Try the Mayo Clinic site too.

Posted by: andycanuck at August 30, 2019 08:48 PM (Dh1wo)

335


There was this time in Vietnam. True story, ask Dick Blumenthal he was there too. Any ways we were on patrol and out of no where I mean no where comes this SS Panzer Division. You know about those guys right? They wore the redcoats...well I shit myself....not then just now.....

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:49 PM (SHaAt)

336 327 Insom, you and The Nurse could even come to Denver! I have a fold-out sofa in my couch.
Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 08:47 PM (H3MF

He has a Russian Nesting Doll Couch! Wery ware!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:49 PM (ycWCI)

337 will we be able to keep this up if Biden actually becomes the nominee? He ain't Maxine Waters or Sheila Jackson Lee., he's just mildly weapons grade dopey.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:49 PM (ZqRa6)

338 we dwarves of Colorado would show you a ROYAL welcome, Insomn and Ratched!

we do have a small orc and balrog problem.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 08:49 PM (ykYG2)

339 Soros is moving against the British pound

Posted by: Kurt at August 30, 2019 08:49 PM (qS0nz)

340 Insom, if you have any interest in east Texas, my sister and BIL have pretty good contacts at SFASU and the wider area.

Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 08:49 PM (SI5Vp)

341 337 will we be able to keep this up if Biden actually becomes the nominee? He ain't Maxine Waters or Sheila Jackson Lee., he's just mildly weapons grade dopey.
Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:49 PM (ZqRa6)

He seems to be upgrading/degrading his software.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:50 PM (ycWCI)

342 Boy oh boy. What a tough crowd.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 08:50 PM (aXucN)

343 I just tried a keto potato salad made from cauliflower, wasn't bad.

Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (B7KlG)

344 Hey everybody.

Getting a little annoyed with Amazon. I keep ordering things new and receiving items that look used and somewhat abused.

Glad returns are easy (just drop 'em off at Kohl's) but it's still frustrating.

Posted by: qdpsteve at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (L2ZTs)

345 according to Joe Biden, gout is cause by too much high living, so maybe you should move to a lower floor. (I stole that from a Laurel and Hardy film.)

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (ZqRa6)

346 331 They're animatronic, right?
Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:46 PM (NWiLs)

Yep, right next to the giant bears with banjos carved out of redwoods.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:48 PM

Sweet!

Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (NWiLs)

347 >342 Boy oh boy. What a tough crowd.
Posted by: bluebell at August 30,



What? They are mostly on your side.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (pnBLa)

348 Y'all are very kind to offer refuge.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:52 PM (NWiLs)

349 >343 I just tried a keto potato salad made from cauliflower, wasn't bad.
Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (B7K



Run Jean, run!

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:52 PM (pnBLa)

350 What? They are mostly on your side.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (pnBLa)
----------

As they should be!

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 08:53 PM (aXucN)

351 Me, Nikola Tesh... or was it John? Anyhoo, there we were sitting in Patel's Irish pub one night slamming Zima's with Bell and Westinghouse brainstorming ideas. That's where I invented AMTRAK.

Posted by: Uncle Joe at August 30, 2019 08:54 PM (k5hWy)

352 just noticed this:

"vox.com
9 questions about the Hong Kong protests you were too embarrassed to ask"

I dare anyone to look.

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 08:55 PM (ZqRa6)

353 295
>>> Don't look now, but Bill Barr is allegedly on Epstein's list. . . .



Epstein-Barr list

Posted by: fluffy at August 30, 2019 08:37 PM (dCRRg)

______

Heh. Reminds me of the engagement announcement of Medal of Honor winner Dakota Meyer and Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol (I believe they're now divorced) and someone noted that her name was going to be Bristol Meyer?

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 08:55 PM (C9Xou)

354 Anyone else notice we seem to be bidding for Insom and Nurse's company? ::evil grin::

Posted by: Empire1 at August 30, 2019 08:55 PM (SI5Vp)

355 My wife's a great gal. Supports me 100 %. No lie, man. I'm like her second or third choice for president, but on the off chance she thinks I can beat Trump she'll hold her nose and vote for me instead. Like I said, outstanding support, almost as good as Obama backing me.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:55 PM (MLJ+L)

356 What? They are mostly on your side.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (pnBLa)

As they should be!

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 08:53 PM (aXucN)

Keep the bluebell in front of you at all times. She's called the 'bluebell' because of the tiny flowers she places in her victim's dead mouth.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 08:55 PM (ycWCI)

357 >348 Y'all are very kind to offer refuge.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 08:52 PM (NWiLs)



You are always welcome here. But I'm setting up your bed in the barn. I need to sleep.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:56 PM (pnBLa)

358 Cauliflower mac n cheese is very good too.

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 08:56 PM (1Cqte)

359 There I was with Neil Kinnock shooting the bull when I noticed he kept writing down stuff I said. If I'm lying I'm dying . Next thing I know I read a speech he wrote and I said to myself ' Joe , that guy just stole your best stuff' . Anyway I forgot about it until I was accused of stealing my own words. That the whole Biden truth and nothing but the truth. ----Joe Biden

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at August 30, 2019 08:56 PM (2DOZq)

360 I just don't see Biden as the nominee. Because if he is the nominee over three nights of debate next year the world is going to witness the first live televised mental breakdown of a presidential candidate.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at August 30, 2019 08:57 PM (bTFHX)

361

Run Jean, run!
Posted by: Muad'dib

Well see, I keep immodium handy with this diet crap

Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 08:57 PM (B7KlG)

362 Empire1- Tart cherry juice works for me when I remember to take it- so effective that I think I'm cured and forget to buy it. What works even better is sweet cherries when they're in season- a bowl a day. For some reason that will almost get me through the year until they're back in season. No other change in diet, including alcohol.

Posted by: Charles the Simple at August 30, 2019 08:57 PM (w7U7L)

363 Looks like Dagny is out too.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:58 PM (pnBLa)

364


Have you heard about the Louisiana Purchase? Yeah well, true story now true story. President Jefferson didn't want to do it. Can you believe it? I said to him, C'mon man, c'mon. Look George you need to buy this land. Think of all of the dry cleaning stories you and Weezie can open there. And you know what that son of gun says to me? DY-NO-MITE! Just like that. And the next thing you know old Jed loaded up his truck and moved to Beverly. Hills, that is. True story

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 08:58 PM (SHaAt)

365 How did demented budgie brain Joe ever get a reputation for gravitas?

Posted by: Northernlurker at August 30, 2019 08:58 PM (+e9Ka)

366 Cauliflower mac n cheese is very good too.

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 08:56 PM (1Cqte)

---
no.

it is heresy and an abomination before G*d.

using nasty shit in otherwise good food just makes the good stuff nasty.

it's like serving champagne punch at your kid's wedding, but using diarrhea ice cubes to chill it.

just NO.

Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 08:59 PM (6E6gM)

367 Well, you know the pyramids? Not those dinky ones in Central and South America built by those little short people named orcas or something like that. I'm talking about those honking big ones built in Aegypt by the space aliens. I was on a Joo workgang at the time and come too think of it I'm not even a Hibrew. so anyway I was just 12 and carried the water bucket and anchovy paste to the workers, and well let's just call a spade a spade, they were slaves, Aegypt being a slave state just like Delaware. We never built any pyramids in Delaware because the insurance companies who own the state said ixnay on aalltay uffstay. And that's how I got this tan.

Posted by: Eromero at August 30, 2019 08:59 PM (UUkQp)

368 You all are free to eat at much cauliflower as you want. Just don't eat it anywhere near me please.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 08:59 PM (aXucN)

369 My 24 year old son had gout last year from drinking too much Guinness. Ditch the alcohol and red meat, anything with tannin. They had him take big doses of ibuprofen for a week.

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 08:59 PM (1Cqte)

370 Because if he is the nominee over three nights of debate next year the world is going to witness the first live televised mental breakdown of a presidential candidate.

That would be Howard Dean's YAAGH! in 2004.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 09:00 PM (ykYG2)

371 Mom used to cover cauliflower in cheese sauce, so it's not to weird

Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 09:00 PM (B7KlG)

372 "356 What? They are mostly on your side.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:51 PM (pnBLa)



As they should better be!



Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 08:53 PM (aXucN) "


FIFY!

Posted by: Hierominous Botch at August 30, 2019 09:00 PM (XuBZu)

373 Well, phooey.

Posted by: Hierominous Botch at August 30, 2019 09:00 PM (XuBZu)

374 October is LGBTQ month. Also, Larry Johnson's twitter is lit with red pills.

http://is2.4chan.org/pol/1567197557313m.jpg

Posted by: lucas hood at August 30, 2019 09:00 PM (QwmrN)

375 I've substituted cauliflower for all starches. I use it raw as chips and crackers, mashed, cheesed, roasted, riced....

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:00 PM (1Cqte)

376 My 24 year old son had gout last year from drinking too much Guinness. Ditch the alcohol and red meat, anything with tannin. They had him take big doses of ibuprofen for a week.
Posted by: dagny

Too much Guinness!

Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 09:01 PM (B7KlG)

377 >368 You all are free to eat at much cauliflower as you want. Just don't eat it anywhere near me please.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 08:59 PM (aXucN)




It's a little late to be reasonable at this point.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:01 PM (pnBLa)

378 True fact: I learnt how to pronounce the Semitic `ayin from Dean. They should play that clip in Hebrew school.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 09:01 PM (ykYG2)

379 "365 How did demented budgie brain Joe ever get a reputation for gravitas?

Posted by: Northernlurker at August 30, 2019 08:58 PM (+e9Ka) "



The media didn't just start lying to us all on a sudden 3 years ago.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 30, 2019 09:01 PM (XNDy+)

380 Dagny, I have my limits. I'm not sure we can be friends any more.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:01 PM (aXucN)

381 too much Guinness

Does. Compute. Not.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 09:02 PM (ykYG2)

382 How did demented budgie brain Joe ever get a reputation for gravitas?


The media covers for dems always. All dem operatives are experts at circling the wagons.

Posted by: Floridachick at August 30, 2019 09:02 PM (ri7Kw)

383 315 I would think a conservative in Seattle is sheltering in place daily
Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:42 PM (BbGew)


Or always be a moving target.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at August 30, 2019 09:02 PM (sy5kK)

384
My 24 year old son had gout last year from drinking too much Guinness.
Ditch the alcohol and red meat, anything with tannin. They had him take
big doses of ibuprofen for a week.


Posted by: dagny




Too much Guinness? Those words don't make any sense to me

Posted by: TheQuietMan at August 30, 2019 09:03 PM (SHaAt)

385 I would think a conservative in Seattle is sheltering in place daily

Posted by: Skip at August 30, 2019 08:42 PM (BbGew)





Or always be a moving target.





Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at August 30, 2019 09:02 PM (sy5kK)

Serpentine!

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 30, 2019 09:03 PM (q1Pj5)

386 I showed a machine-learning AI 1,000 hrs of Joe Biden speeches to see if it could replicate a Biden speech from scratch. The AI claimed to have signed the Declaration of Independence, then stroked out. I consider it a successful effort.

Posted by: Frankovich's Monster at August 30, 2019 09:04 PM (dYe5S)

387
I'll never forget the day of 9/11. I was in New York City with John Lennon. And they shot him, man. They shot him right off the Empire State Building.

He was just trying to climb it! And they shot him for climbing a building! Aw hell, man. I was there and saw it all. John Lennon laying on the cement, blood everywhere, and him just opening his big old hand and letting Famous Amos go free. Cause that guy could make some good cookies!

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip! And Famous Amos turned to me and said, "John wants to talk with you, Joe. Just you, Joe. Only you."

I leaned in close and John Lennon looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Joe, you gotta get the band back together. You gotta get The Bedbugs back together, Joe. Get George Orwell and Bingo Bongo and Paul McCartney, and Joe, this is important, Joe, you can be me. You, Joe, can be the next Don Lemon.

Get the band back together, Joe. Those were Don Rickles last words...ever.

So, I did it. Hell, man, that was his last wish. And Bingo said yes. And Curious George said yes.

But, McCartney, man. McCartney said no.

Fucking Joe McCarthy!

-Joe Biden

Posted by: naturalfake at August 30, 2019 09:04 PM (mIQCW)

388 So, Chairman Mao is "she" now? I didn't know he had a sex change operation. Wait, what?

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:04 PM (MLJ+L)

389 379 The media didn't just start lying to us all on a sudden 3 years ago.
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 30, 2019 09:01 PM (XNDy+)


This.

Posted by: Zombie Walter Cronkite at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (ed8K1)

390 374 October is LGBTQ month. Also, Larry Johnson's twitter is lit with red pills.

http://is2.4chan.org/pol/1567197557313m.jpg
Posted by: lucas hood at August 30, 2019 09:00 PM (QwmrN)

WTF, didn't the just have a month.

Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (f9A2A)

391 Joe Biden: Making AOC's word salad sound halfway sane since 2017.

Posted by: qdpsteve at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (L2ZTs)

392 The amount of Guinness I drank in my twenties has to be significant data point with a negative correlation to gout

Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (B7KlG)

393 My three (or four?) attacks were all from big booze-ups on weekends despite not drinking through the week at all e.g. none at home.

Posted by: andycanuck at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (Dh1wo)

394 332 >
329 A fold-out bed, I mean.
Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 08:47 PM (H3MF




Upgrade your hearing protection.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 08:48 PM (pnBLa)

*shifty eyes*
I have no idea what you could possibly mean.
*shifty eyes*

Posted by: Insomniac at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (NWiLs)

395 I have to have something to dip into hummus.

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (1Cqte)

396 Egg - zackley !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 30, 2019 09:06 PM (XNDy+)

397 WTF, didn't the just have a month.

Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (f9A2A)

Every month is belonging to us.
-LGBTQ

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 09:06 PM (ycWCI)

398 No, Joe, it's President Xi these days. It's so nice of xi to have xis preferred pronoun right in xis name...

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 09:06 PM (H3MF8)

399 Empire 1: glad i could help.

Posted by: redc1c4 at August 30, 2019 09:06 PM (6E6gM)

400 My three (or four?) attacks were all from big booze-ups on weekends despite not drinking through the week at all e.g. none at home.
Posted by: andycanuck

There you go, can't spike it - you need to keep an baseline

Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 09:07 PM (B7KlG)

401 I have to have something to dip into hummus.
Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (1Cqte)
-----------
There are many other vegetables in the world, none of which look like warts.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:07 PM (aXucN)

402 I have to have something to dip into hummus.
Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (1Cqte)


Sliced raw red onion.

Posted by: hogmartin at August 30, 2019 09:07 PM (t+qrx)

403 The goddess statue in the AOC picture on the left is definitely more socialist in imagery. I think the one on the right is just more crap.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 09:07 PM (ycWCI)

404 Just announced, a new pricing schedule at Amazon!

For $100 a year, buy Amazon Prime and be promised deliveries in two days that don't arrive.

For $250 a year, buy Amazon Super Prime and get about 60% of your orders actually on time.

Posted by: qdpsteve at August 30, 2019 09:08 PM (L2ZTs)

405 The whole story is funnier now! [in exaggerated Nigerian accent] "This is MAGA country, you f***** n*****!"

Please send $US 10,000 to cover all modalities, and remain blessed.

Posted by: Fox2! at August 30, 2019 09:08 PM (MwFQu)

406 BREAKING NEWS:

President Xi is a he!

Posted by: qdpsteve at August 30, 2019 09:08 PM (L2ZTs)

407 So, If I'm elected President, we're sending Sally Struthers to the Southern Border because that gal can stretch a buck.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:08 PM (r3Pef)

408
Guinness tastes even better when you get it poured in front of you in a real Irish bar. In Ireland.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at August 30, 2019 09:09 PM (sy5kK)

409 >393 My three (or four?) attacks were all from big booze-ups on weekends despite not drinking through the week at all e.g. none at home.
Posted by: andycanuck at August 30, 201



You need to apply yourself consistently, eh.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:09 PM (pnBLa)

410 I'm a Phd. Joe! Not a miracle worker.

Posted by: Mrs. Doctor Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:09 PM (0x00j)

411 There are many other vegetables in the world, none of which look like warts.
Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:07 PM (aXucN)


waitwaitwait, you eat oysters, right? But cauliflower icks you out?

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at August 30, 2019 09:09 PM (t+qrx)

412 Guinness tastes even better when you get it poured in front of you in a real Irish bar. In Ireland.
Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at August 30, 2019 09:09 PM (sy5kK)


By a Leprechaun. Who's sitting on a pot of gold. ;-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at August 30, 2019 09:10 PM (L2ZTs)

413 No shit boys there I was. Pinned down in a deadly hail of a Jap fire. The guy next to me got pegged right in the old cabeza. Dropped at my feet. Deader than a new white guy show on CNN. So I reached down and stuck my finger in the hole and slapped him in the face and shouted Let there be Life! And there was life and it was good. Damn good. We crawled out and had cocktails back at base.

Posted by: Jody Bidet at August 30, 2019 09:10 PM (UFLLM)

414 It is better in Ireland and England for some reason. I have drunk a few in Dublin at the airport and immediately on the ground in Baltimore - definitely different.

Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 09:10 PM (B7KlG)

415 >dagny at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (1Cqte)

Sliced raw red onion.
Posted by: hogmartin at August 30, 2019 09:07 PM (t+qr


He isn't kidding.

Posted by: Hogmartin's girl friend at August 30, 2019 09:10 PM (pnBLa)

416 Serpentine!
Posted by: Count de Monet

Hillary Clinton (tough gal, that Hillary. Stand up will ya? Oh God love ya, we're standing for you) So Hillary and I had to serpentine right there on the tarmac when we traveled to the Baltic's. Those sturgeon snipers were trying to take us out. As sure as I'm standing here.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:11 PM (N0K3k)

417 Slightly off topic, but did any of you see the talking hands guy on hurricane channel (TWC) today? Guy was hilarious and while not of Mandela funeral guy caliber, he really put it all on the line pantomiming what the hurricane priest was saying. He was a real emoter.

Posted by: Eromero at August 30, 2019 09:11 PM (UUkQp)

418 waitwaitwait, you eat oysters, right?

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at August 30, 2019 09:09 PM (t+qrx)
-------------

Oh HAYELLLLLLL no!

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:11 PM (aXucN)

419 I invented cauliflower, man. True story. If I'm lyin' I'm Biden.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:11 PM (MLJ+L)

420 Most people have the awareness, or relatives that protect them, from self-destructing in public.


Joe apparently doesn't have anyone like that in his life.

I don't care about Joe, as he has effed enough people in his lifetime with his actions, but I don't like watching any human being suffer foolishly in public like Joe is doing now.


Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at August 30, 2019 07:40 PM (sy5kK)

Jill has been channeling Edith Wilson in her weekly seances.

Posted by: Fox2! at August 30, 2019 09:11 PM (MwFQu)

421 There are many other vegetables in the world, none of which look like warts.

Most are too starchy, too sugary, too leafy or too stringy. Raw broccoli works too, but supposedly it's not good for you in quantity. Cauliflower has no taste. It's a blank slate.

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:12 PM (1Cqte)

422 #395: I have to have something to dip into hummus.

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:05 PM (1Cqte)
Temptation to say something really crude intensifying...

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 09:12 PM (H3MF8)

423

And the leprechaun looks exactly like Maureen O'Hara except with bigger tits...

Posted by: J Wayne at August 30, 2019 09:12 PM (UFLLM)

424 387


I'll never forget the day of 9/11. I was in New York City with John
Lennon. And they shot him, man. They shot him right off the Empire
State Building.



He was just trying to climb it! And they shot him for climbing a
building! Aw hell, man. I was there and saw it all. John Lennon
laying on the cement, blood everywhere, and him just opening his big old
hand and letting Famous Amos go free. Cause that guy could make some
good cookies!



Oatmeal Chocolate Chip! And Famous Amos turned to me and said, "John wants to talk with you, Joe. Just you, Joe. Only you."



I leaned in close and John Lennon looked me straight in the eyes and
said, "Joe, you gotta get the band back together. You gotta get The
Bedbugs back together, Joe. Get George Orwell and Bingo Bongo and Paul
McCartney, and Joe, this is important, Joe, you can be me. You, Joe,
can be the next Don Lemon.



Get the band back together, Joe. Those were Don Rickles last words...ever.



So, I did it. Hell, man, that was his last wish. And Bingo said yes. And Curious George said yes.



But, McCartney, man. McCartney said no.



Fucking Joe McCarthy!



-Joe Biden



Posted by: naturalfake at August 30, 2019 09:04 PM (mIQCW)

______


I'm crying here ... everybody's been hilarious.

Posted by: ShainS -- in registry of disreputable federal law-abiding commenters at August 30, 2019 09:13 PM (OoffT)

425 The day the potato salad DIED.

Posted by: Sniffin' Uncle Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:13 PM (EgshT)

426 408
Guinness tastes even better when you get it poured in front of you in a real Irish bar. In Ireland.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at August 30, 2019 09:09 PM (sy5kK)

I rate this as true based on extensive scientific observations!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at August 30, 2019 09:14 PM (oqV6o)

427 WTF, didn't the just have a month.

Les 120 Journées de Sodome ou l'école du libertinage

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at August 30, 2019 09:14 PM (ykYG2)

428 Dagny, that's why God invented spoons.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:14 PM (aXucN)

429 Oh HAYELLLLLLL no!
Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:11 PM (aXucN)


My mistake! Sorry for the slanderous allegation.

Carry on.

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at August 30, 2019 09:15 PM (t+qrx)

430 Hummus-a hummus-a hummus-a

Posted by: JuJuBee at August 30, 2019 09:15 PM (MLJ+L)

431 Every month is belonging to us.
-LGBTQ
Posted by: Aetius451AD at August 30, 2019 09:06 PM (ycWCI)

It sure seems that way.

Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at August 30, 2019 09:15 PM (f9A2A)

432 Onions are high in sugar

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:15 PM (1Cqte)

433 Dagny, that's why God invented spoons.
Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:14 PM (aXucN)


Our judges would also have accepted "silly straws".

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at August 30, 2019 09:16 PM (t+qrx)

434 Onions are high in sugar
Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:15 PM (1Cqte)
---------

Spoons have no carbs.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:16 PM (aXucN)

435 I remember when Reagan gave Order 66. Yoda just couldn't believe his eyes. The younglings.. All dead. I could feel Yoda's strength fading through the force but I knew I could add my strength to his with a force meld.

Chief Brody was sobbing. They're dead! All dead! We needed a bigger boat! I told him he had to confront the Nazis but he said he couldn't. I just hugging him until he understood what needed to be done. He picked up his .52 cal Ruger Mark III and walked off with a new determination.

I will never forget that we need a bigger boat. Which will be my campaign motto from now on: Vote Biden: Now This is Pod Racing!

Posted by: jmt at August 30, 2019 09:16 PM (I8vjj)

436 Yes, I was drinking Guinness in Ireland on holiday when I was fifteen.

Posted by: andycanuck at August 30, 2019 09:17 PM (Dh1wo)

437 Spoons have no carbs.

True, but they're TOO crunchy.

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:17 PM (1Cqte)

438 The saying Biden one's time is because of me. I've been waiting like a ninja all of my life for this. Yeah you can see me because I'm an unstealthy ninja by choice because I put it all out there, like Regis used to do.

But, yeah. Ninja. True story.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:17 PM (r3Pef)

439 Hogmartin, maybe you confused me with my twin sister. I eat raw oysters gleefully. I love them most draped over chunks of cauliflower.

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:18 PM (pnBLa)

440 For $100 a year, buy Amazon Prime and be promised deliveries in two days that don't arrive.

For $250 a year, buy Amazon Super Prime and get about 60% of your orders actually on time.
Posted by: qdpsteve at August 30, 2019 09:08 PM (L2ZTs)

LOL, when they went to the USPS handoff, my two day deliveries started taking three or four days.

Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at August 30, 2019 09:18 PM (f9A2A)

441 The damn kids on my staff just informed me potato salad is racist.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:18 PM (MLJ+L)

442 Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:18 PM (pnBLa)

So I take it you like flirting with danger?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at August 30, 2019 09:19 PM (oqV6o)

443 Hogmartin, maybe you confused me with my twin sister. I eat raw oysters gleefully. I love them most draped over chunks of cauliflower.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:18 PM (pnBLa)
------------

*hurl*

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:19 PM (aXucN)

444 It's been a long time since I was featured by ace. I love this.

Posted by: ... at August 30, 2019 09:20 PM (uEbPt)

445 LOL, when they went to the USPS handoff, my two day deliveries started taking three or four days.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at August 30, 2019 09:18 PM (f9A2A)

I keep wanting to return stuff for failing to meet the original arrival date!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at August 30, 2019 09:21 PM (oqV6o)

446
I rate this as true based on extensive scientific observations!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar

Science is never settled, we need a lot more data collection

Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 09:21 PM (B7KlG)

447 Hogmartin, maybe you confused me with my twin sister. I eat raw oysters gleefully. I love them most draped over chunks of cauliflower.
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:18 PM (pnBLa)


Look, I'm not trying to start anything.

*sits quietly munching Brussels sprouts*

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at August 30, 2019 09:21 PM (t+qrx)

448 Cauliflower has no taste. It's a blank slate.

Posted by: dagny at August 30, 2019 09:12 PM (1Cqte)

This too, is the story of Obama.

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 30, 2019 09:21 PM (q1Pj5)

449
Oh HAYELLLLLLL no!
Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:11 PM (aXucN)
-----
bluebell said HAYELLLLLLL!!

Posted by: Cap'n Weasel at August 30, 2019 09:21 PM (QtXuC)

450 Nnghh... can't resist... Dagny! I have something you can dip in hummus...

Oh! I think that did the trick! I feel calm again.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 09:21 PM (H3MF8)

451 It's been fun horde, but I'm now on duty for the 8 week old lab puppy. Benny! Stop that!

Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:22 PM (pnBLa)

452 I try an oyster again every ten years or so. It's just as nasty each time as it was every other time.

Posted by: Hierominous Botch at August 30, 2019 09:22 PM (XuBZu)

453 All these cruel attacks on Vice President Joe Biden are unseemly and unfair, and must stop now.

Posted by: Mitt Romney at August 30, 2019 09:23 PM (6/uwW)

454 It's been fun horde, but I'm now on duty for the 8 week old lab puppy. Benny! Stop that!
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:22 PM (pnBLa)


He tiny.

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at August 30, 2019 09:23 PM (t+qrx)

455 Science is never settled, we need a lot more data collection
Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2019 09:21 PM (B7KlG)

In this case I am more than willing to sacrifice myself for science!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at August 30, 2019 09:24 PM (oqV6o)

456 I remember it like it was .... whatever that word for the day before today is, like right now, but different in some indefinable way. There she was, that girl Ripley, crewed the Nostromo, grabbing my shoulder and asking me to save her like I saved that John...Smith, maybe, fella by teaching Pocahontas (no, not that one, the kid) about singing to the Blue Corn Moon and winning over the heart of Chief Dan George. That Pokey kid's hair smelled amazing, and Ripley had a little trace of that.

As I inhaled, I immediately recognized the problem - it was the Xena Warrior Princess Morphs, and the only way to deal with them is ....fire, I think, or maybe having your oil checked regularly, and one of those was definitely painful. Actually, both of them were painful, now that I think about it, and the fella that told me was checking my oil didn't look like he was really working for that alley-way Jiffy Lube like he claimed.

So i went with fire, but not your regular fire - this was your Asian Ching Chong mystical fire you release when you summon your chakras and shout Ha, du Ken, which is vietbodianesean for Hello, alien Ken. Pausing for moment to moment to make sure that Ripley's t-shirt was secure, I was making some good progress when some Wolf Raiders showed up just in time, because by then the Mighty Morphing Zenu Ranglers were trying to kill me with a forklift.

The rest is history, and it's not too late to see the documentary it inspired - Conan O'Brian the Bostonian, the story of how one Delaware politician taught Stephen Hawking human emotions.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at August 30, 2019 09:24 PM (lJMCC)

457 I keep wanting to return stuff for failing to meet the original arrival date!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at August 30, 2019 09:21 PM (oqV6o)

I just want money back, even in credit, for them not meeting the obligation they sold me.

Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at August 30, 2019 09:25 PM (f9A2A)

458 Ima bookmark this thread.
Funny as heck

Posted by: navybrat, sometime commentater at August 30, 2019 09:25 PM (w7KSn)

459 Okay, that first one just made him sound stoned. Hey...maybe that's it!

Posted by: LAG at August 30, 2019 09:25 PM (vnhda)

460 It's been fun horde, but I'm now on duty for the 8 week old lab puppy. Benny! Stop that!
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:22 PM (pnBLa)
-------

Don't feed him cauliflower. It's animal cruelty.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:26 PM (aXucN)

461 Is it any wonder I like paste? Had been told many times my mom wore pasties.

Posted by: Honest Joe at August 30, 2019 09:27 PM (TQfL4)

462 460 It's been fun horde, but I'm now on duty for the 8 week old lab puppy. Benny! Stop that!
Posted by: Muad'dib at August 30, 2019 09:22 PM (pnBLa)
-------

Don't feed him cauliflower. It's animal cruelty.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:26 PM (aXucN)

Also gaseous.

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 09:27 PM (cF8AT)

463 As most of you know, I'm Philadelphia born and raised. On the playground was were I spent most of my days. Playing basket ball or what we called it,I swear, "shooting b-ball" outside of the school. Well, a couple of guys, they were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood. I got now little fight and my mom, God bless her, got scared and said "You're going to law school in Delaware!" True story.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:28 PM (N0K3k)

464 Posted by: A. Pendragon at August 30, 2019 09:24 PM (lJMCC)



🤣 🤣 🤣


Please sir, I want some more !

Posted by: Oliver at August 30, 2019 09:28 PM (bUjCl)

465 A True Joe Biden Story:

So, there we was. Pinned down by MG42 fire. Dutch was pissin' hisself. Chief was painting his face with his leftover K-rats chocolate, which, I can tell you ain't much better than cat shit. Then there's Whitey. Stand up, Whitey. Oh. Oh no. Forgot. Whitey got a round in the back. he ain't gonna do much standin'.

My word as a Biden.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not Actually Irish at August 30, 2019 09:28 PM (WRzG+)

466 Wonder how many times I can go through the entire Poirot series? Think I'm on the third time...

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 09:29 PM (cF8AT)

467 but on the other hand, keep in mind: how dumb could Biden really be if Obama wanted him as Vice President?

Posted by: Mallfly The Georgia Peach at August 30, 2019 09:29 PM (ZqRa6)

468 Now to scroll up and read much better stuff than what I just wrote.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not Actually Irish at August 30, 2019 09:30 PM (WRzG+)

469 Lesee, dey's potato salad, mustard potato salad, southern potato salad, german potato salad, hot german potato salad, lemon-garlic potato salad, waldorf potato salad, caraway potato salad, cheesy potato salad, new potato salad, red potato salad, yukon gold potato salad, . . . dilled apple potato salad, portuguese potato salad, . . . crab potato salad, lobster potato salad, avocado-shrimp potato salad, and bacon-ranch potato salad. That's about it I guess.

Posted by: Bubba Biden at August 30, 2019 09:30 PM (q1Pj5)

470 Tami, do you have Amazon prime video? My husband and I are watching Eureka and really enjoying it.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:31 PM (aXucN)

471 https://politi.co/2Zmm67k
*******
Trump's personal assistant fired after comments about Ivanka, Tiffany - POLITICO

Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at August 30, 2019 09:31 PM (BqBId)

472 Beirut was tough. I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base....

Posted by: PG at August 30, 2019 09:31 PM (iqCkn)

473


All this talk about Space Force, hell man I was the one who started it. Remember when we put the first man on the moon? You remember that and the robot started to get all excited saying Danger Will Rogers, Danger. You know why he said that because these space aliens, no it's a true story I swear. These space aliens called Mexicans, but we can't call them aliens any more it's got to be immigrants so these space immigrants said to the robot, "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!" And that's what started the whole Star Wars.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:31 PM (SHaAt)

474
I was accompanying Heifetz in Brahms' Emperor Symphony. When we reached "Sempre libera" aria, the reed on his French horn split and he had to continue on the E string of his triangle. A triumphant performance. The ovations went on and on.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 30, 2019 09:32 PM (Wx/+I)

475 470 Tami, do you have Amazon prime video? My husband and I are watching Eureka and really enjoying it.

Posted by: bluebell at August 30, 2019 09:31 PM (aXucN)

I do and I will definitely check that out. Need something for bedtime watching. Thanks!

Posted by: Tami at August 30, 2019 09:32 PM (cF8AT)

476 ONT is Nood

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at August 30, 2019 09:33 PM (a4EWo)

477 Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at August 30, 2019 09:25 PM (f9A2A)

Yes, I've ordered stuff which pre-confirmation was promised on Monday, but post-order became Tuesday or Wednesday. Dayum, if I needed it on Monday, but knew Amazon was going to screw me on the delivery date I'd have driven into town and bought from Lowes or Home Depot!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at August 30, 2019 09:34 PM (oqV6o)

478 Whenever I performed in Vegas with Frank and Dean and Sammy, I always pretended I was Joey Bishop. Actually I was Joey Bishop until I realized I was too good looking for show business which is politics for ugly people. Moved to Delaware with only a pair of underwear to my name. Changed my name to Joey Biden. Now I'm running away from home and asking for your help. Where the hell am I?

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 30, 2019 09:36 PM (MLJ+L)

479 Oysters are tasty. They're like salty gum!

Posted by: qdpsteve at August 30, 2019 09:37 PM (L2ZTs)

480 Yes, I've ordered stuff which pre-confirmation was promised on Monday, but post-order became Tuesday or Wednesday. Dayum, if I needed it on Monday, but knew Amazon was going to screw me on the delivery date I'd have driven into town and bought from Lowes or Home Depot!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at August 30, 2019 09:34 PM (oqV6o)

I only order things that I can't get "locally" now. I'm real close to just canceling the prime, just don't order so much anymore.

Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at August 30, 2019 09:38 PM (f9A2A)

481 The DNC needs to be asking its members: What happens with Joey B in debates in about 7-8 months, when the D field shrinks to 3-5? Can he keep it together against heavy incoming fire, when he has to say something coherent a lot more times than in the 10 candidate debates?

And based on recent performances, sending Biden in to debate Pres. Trump will be like pitting a three-toed sloth against a Bengal tiger.

Posted by: Gref at August 30, 2019 09:38 PM (GNh9P)

482 I haven't had anything arrive late from Amazon, myself; I've only had stuff arrive on schedule or early. This is nice, because the thing I order most often from there is cat food (Petco no longer carries what my cats need, so I had to turn to Amazon for that).

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at August 30, 2019 09:39 PM (H3MF8)

483 I was there when Richard decided to go on the Crusade. I tried to tell them. "No," I said, "a minimum wage will solve the problem." But they couldn't be bothered to listen.

And here we are again. Listening to the same stale objections to a minimum wage rise. Do you want your incompetent brother misusing taxes? Bandits running the country side?

*That's* why we need a minimum wage of $250/hr.

Posted by: jmt at August 30, 2019 10:41 PM (dxiwJ)

484 Thank God Acey(can I call you Acey?) covers the news so I don't have too.
Thanks Ace, really mean it.
Sorry you have to swim through all that vomit just to be able to gleam a chunk or two.

Posted by: Throbbing Tonsil at August 30, 2019 11:03 PM (9PtLS)

485 Phil Collins was in Brand X in the mid 70's (when he had hair). Awesome drum work at at an 11+ energy level. One of my long time favorites.

Posted by: pawn at August 31, 2019 12:05 AM (PveK5)

486
Yeah, so when I commute on the Stanford Linear Accelerator between Washington and Scranton, I mean Wilmington, I'd wonder what was going on in the homes I passed and what conversations the families were having.

And, every now and again I'd see through their windows a young woman with beautiful hair that I just had to touch and smell. I'd start to reach upward to pull the cord to signal the train to stop, but wouldn't you know, Dr. Jill would catch me in the act, slap my hand away and tell me to behave myself or "no favorite bedtime paste for you, young man, if you don't knock that off!" 'S true -- Biden's honor!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at August 31, 2019 12:39 AM (6G4DD)

487 13-paste is a hell of a drug
Hilarious, thank you

Posted by: Summer of Love at August 31, 2019 01:57 AM (FJrl0)

488 87- I saw that also red riding hood, horrible

Posted by: Summer of Love at August 31, 2019 02:48 AM (FJrl0)

489 74 Ignore the last line from post 66. Editing error.
Posted by: Vanya at August 30, 2019 07:45 PM (U7voe)

Your post 66 is extremely primo. The editing-error line works o.k., too!

Posted by: m at August 31, 2019 03:36 AM (FRM7n)

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