007 Will Now Be a Black Woman or Something

I don't think it's real. I mean, part of it is real. But it's not really real.

Ages ago, Barbara Broccoli (daughter of EON co-founder "Cubby" Broccoli) was asked if she'd ever make a Female James Bond movie, and she said: "James Bond will always be a man."

Period.

But you know how the UK is now -- it's like 20% worse than America. So every male hero has to be gender-swapped to female, and the British media will attack you until you give in.

The "007 is now a black woman" story goes like this: Supposedly, James Bond begins the next terrible movie retired, so his code-number is now released to be used by others. (They're not going to retire that number and hang his Tuxedo from the rafters? Guy's saved the world like 22 times.)

The "007" who is played by the Captain Marvel actress (another Charisma Exclusion Zone, I'm told) is not James Bond, but just another agent who's been elevated to 00 status, and assigned his old number because it was available.

I agree with the anti-SJW pop culture channel Nerdrotic about this -- Barbara Broccoli and her husband Michael G. Wilson got so sick of the "When is James Bond going to be a woman? Black? Gay?" question that they decided to shut the SJWs up and make a black woman "007" (but not James Bond) briefly in one movie, so that The Mary Sue would get off their backs. I also agree that if Broccoli wants to really end all questions, they'll also bait that this new 007 is a lesbian, so they can Check That Box on the "gay" 007 thing too.

Based on what usually happens in movies, I imagine that this 007 will be killed during the movie, and the real 007 will have to come out of retirement to investigate, or will cede the number back to James Bond near the end of the movie when she realizes he really is a legend and that number should only be his.

I hate the James Bond movies now so this isn't fanboy stuff; I'd kind of love it if they did just set fire to the IP, like they've set fire to Star Wars, Doctor Who, Ghostbusters, etc.

Burn it all up.

But I think this is a fake-out.

You know what's even more of a danger to the 007 franchise?

Their new devotion to continuity.

They're pushing continuity in every movie now. The first one showed Bond getting his 00 license to kill. The third one showed him getting older and going missing and retiring, then coming back. The fourth one also heavily implied he was retiring and getting married. This newest one will feature him retired, and probably with a dead wife on his hands.

What are they going to do when Craig retires? Another reboot?

The old series of 007 movies ignored continuity to the point where no one even wondered about it any more, making it very easy to swap out actors or remake old plotlines or violate prior history in the series.

But these Craig movies are emphasizing that this is all supposed to be part of the same non-epic epic. There's supposed to be a real throughline. We're following Bond through most of his career.

So what happens when Craig retires?

It will be weird when another actor comes in and says "Ignore the past five movies' continuity."

And yeah, in the old series, we always had to ignore prior continuity, but we'd gotten used to the idea that no James Bond movie was really a "sequel" to any other -- each movie was basically a stand-alone with little to no connection to any other movie.

Now they've made it weird.

Likely Plot: Just so you know, there was a leak/rumor that the newest film would be called "Shatterhand."

This was denied.

But so everyone knows: Shatterhand was the pseudonym Blofeld was using in You Only Live Twice, AFTER he'd murdered Tracy.

So if this movie indeed has something to do with "Shatterhand," the plot would go like this: Bond is retired in the beginning of the film, after having married the bland Lea Seydoux from Specter, and Blofeld or his agents kill his wife.

Then he un-retires and seeks vengeance.

So this "new 007" would probably just be investigating a front that turns out to be Blofeld in the beginning of the movie, to offer some espionage-type stuff in between the "Bond hanging out in Jamaica with his wife" stuff to set the stage.

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 02:35 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 Sad Bond

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at July 16, 2019 02:36 PM (sy5kK)

2 Two in a row?

Is everyone in a meeting or gardening?

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at July 16, 2019 02:36 PM (sy5kK)

3 Bond, Jane Bond.

Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:36 PM (ykq7q)

4 And Disney just did their new version of the Little Mermaid, who is now also black.

Because we can't have too many whitey's

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:37 PM (7RwN9)

5 I saw this back in the eighties. They sold it out of the back of the video store. Jane Bondage.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 02:37 PM (O8WFE)

6 I suggest you Watch the New Trailer for Kingsman, looks really good and I think this Franchise will kill 007 because of it's Wokeness

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at July 16, 2019 02:37 PM (af79C)

7 Will it be a remake of...wait for it...

OCTOPUSSY?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (O8WFE)

8 Corgis called

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (0v57o)

9 After ruining the OO7 franchise with this kind of SJW shit, what rule of physics says that it will not disintegrate?


Has nobody seen what happened to the Star Wars franchise?

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (sy5kK)

10 I would prefer Zoran's amazon warrior as the next Bond at this point...

No more Dr. Goodhead either.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (UVPuB)

11 Broad, Jaesse Broad.

Posted by: Undocumented at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (5NMZN)

12 They should remake The Color Purple with a white man and call it the Color LOL Go Fuck Yourself.

For diversity.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (K/2j/)

13 Top 20?

Posted by: FrodoB at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (37bED)

14 There was talk ages ago that since 007 and "James Bond" were simply Mi6 personas, not the exact same guy, the door would be open to having all the actors who appeared over the years as Bond appear in the same film.

Thankfully, that never happened.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (NFEMn)

15 Painted gold?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (ti+mk)

16 Why can't it just be 008 or whatever? There are many 00's in that universe right?

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (CQ3Qb)

17 When I become President, the first thing I will do is make Megan Rapinoe the next James Bond.

Posted by: Jay Inslee

Posted by: mercenary13 at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (7FSN6)

18 Pass.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (t6MX/)

19 Herstory will not be denied just like my wife's gaping vagina waiting for her bulls.

Posted by: david french at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (ym5eo)

20 Purple is the new Lavender.

Posted by: Undocumented at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (5NMZN)

21 Will it be a remake of...wait for it...

OCTOPUSSY?
Posted by: Guy Smiley



Jane Bond can only finger bang Alotta Vagina.

Yeah. I'm a meme mixing mf.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (0v57o)

22 Can she drive an Aston Martin? Isn't it a stick?

Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (ykq7q)

23 Why does no one remember Atomic Blonde?

That was the best Bond movie in a while (save Skyfall).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (VyAV0)

24 Halley Barry can reprise as nemesis 0069.

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid. at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (Vy7tf)

25 How about, "Blonde", Jayne Blonde."

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (NFEMn)

26 12 They should remake The Color Purple with a white man and call it the Color LOL Go Fuck Yourself.

For diversity.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (K/2j/)


This thread is over. We have a winner! Pay the man!

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (sy5kK)

27
Has nobody seen what happened to the Star Wars franchise?

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg

Not nobody, but very few have

Posted by: Bruce at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (vd8XM)

28

Pussy Galoot?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (zBaqJ)

29 So 007 will now be listed in the Blacksploitation Movie Directory?

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (7RwN9)

30 It has come to this. The blaze of optimism we felt after Casino Royale have turned to meh ashes.

Kind of sad. Not unprecedented with the franchise though.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (ycWCI)

31 I looked her up. She is one ugly bitch.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (Kpl3J)

32 Her last name is Lynch. Isn't that racist?

Posted by: Whitney at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (XcQs3)

33 I also agree that if Broccoli wants to really end all questions,
they'll also bait that this new 007 is a lesbian, so they can Check That
Box on the "gay" 007 thing too.

_________


This could give new meaning to the phrase "shaken, not stirred."

Posted by: ShainS -- There are but two Parties now: Traitors and Patriots at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (EyIu7)

34 How funny would it be if the chick died at the end so the old James Bond could come back?

Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (p997d)

35 >>Can she drive an Aston Martin?

Yes, but she can't parallel park it.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (K/2j/)

36 Agent 34DD.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (Ct55T)

37 The male Bond will be out for revenge! And pussy. But mostly revenge!

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (RD7QR)

38 I'm a double-naught spy!

Posted by: Jethro Bodine at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (Vy7tf)

39 A View to a Kill

https://youtu.be/rV4UqmbzIq4

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (UVPuB)

40 007 will be this film's total revenue in millions of dollars.

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (/RckA)

41 We the character be played by a dark POC actress or a pasty one in blackface?

Posted by: Undocumented at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (5NMZN)

42 The next double naught spy will be: David French.

Posted by: it can always be worse at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (Lez25)

43 17
When I become President, the first thing I will do is make Megan Rapinoe the next James Bond.



Posted by: Jay Inslee

Posted by: mercenary13 at July 16, 2019 02:39 PM (7FSN6)

I laugh at his stupidity that even with the NGD and Captain America Hater, Secretary of State, didn't even net him >1% in the polls. Well, I laugh except we are covering the security expenses for his follies.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (t6MX/)

44 Bond, Jane Bond.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (JUOKG)

45 weird

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (GBteo)

46 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (Zz0t1)

47 Bond should have his number retired like Gretzky.

Like someone said yesterday, "No, Ms. Bond - I expect you to cry."

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (gmo/4)

48 I don't watch the new Bond movies either, but I seem to recall someone saying that Bond had already gone gay. Maybe in Skyfall?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (AzW6q)

49 I refuse to see this movie unless she's an otherkin of some sort.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (37IEG)

50 The working title is Septapussy

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (/RckA)

51 Licktopussy

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (Zz0t1)

52 lifted from the punk monkey section:

147 140 132 Mitt Romney @ Twitter

The president's comments were destructive, demeaning and disunifying. The president has a unique and noble calling to unite the American people--of all different races, colors and creeds or natural origin. In that respect, the president failed badly.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 11:22 AM (NFEMn)

Oh give me an effing break. Like Obama was super successful at unification?
Posted by: Jordan61 at July 16, 2019 11:23 AM (Ez6QX)

Shut up, Mitt. No one is interested in what you have to say, other than your wife.
**
I seriously doubt his wife even cares; she just wants to know when he comes home so that Paolo can be "done" and gone by then.

Posted by: Bonecrusher at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (JNTt1)

53 Stunning. Brave. Wow.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (oZ6kz)

54 "No Ms. Bond, I expect you to cry."

Stolen without attribution from a Moron yesterday; can't attribute someone whose handle you have forgotten.

Posted by: GnuBreed at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (Z4rgH)

55 Can she drive an Aston Martin? Isn't it a stick?
Posted by: BignJames


"Mr. Moneynickle! Help! I have to parallel park!"

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (0v57o)

56 50 The working title is Septapussy
Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (/RckA)


Addadictomy Galore...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (zBaqJ)

57 34 How funny would it be if the chick died at the end so the old James Bond could come back?
Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (p997d)


It was all a dream.


- Bobby Ewing

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (sy5kK)

58 Holding out for a woke nonbinary albino dwarf.

Posted by: Kid Tyrone at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (/FLNB)

59 As long as she still gets to shag all the pretty ladies in the middle of the mission.

That's all that really matters, after all. The rest is just window dressing.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (Ct55T)

60 So is the black chick a lesbian who hot chicks swoon over?

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (2LelM)

61 This is going to make The Living Daylights seem like King Lear.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (UVPuB)

62 I also agree that if Broccoli wants to really end all questions, they'll also bait that this new 007 is a lesbian, so they can Check That Box on the "gay" 007 thing too.

And Muslim.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (JaCRW)

63 29 So 007 will now be listed in the Blacksploitation Movie Directory?
Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:40 PM (7RwN9)

OOhn now I want to see "Bondula" and "Bondenstein" and "Scream Bondula Scream!"

and then "The Big Bond Cage".

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (Kpl3J)

64 Bond, Jane Bond.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (JUOKG)

sounds like an echo

Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (ykq7q)

65 It could be an opportunity to create an interesting supporting character / sidekick within the franchise (if she gives the number back when Bond comes out of retirement), or even a spin-off series that occasionally crosses over with the main, but that would require intelligence and creativity, which never go along with "woke" mentalities.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (J+mig)

66 I can see Melissa McCarthy as 0014

Posted by: Bruce at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (vd8XM)

67 Yes, but she can't parallel park it.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (K/2j/)


SICK burn......you're in trouble, but still.....sick.

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (Zz0t1)

68 Okay, so there have been some other casting things along these lines.

First, the Ariel becoming black thing. And then the live action version of Akira is going all out to make sure that Asians are playing all the roles (with some bitching about how Japanese are not the same as Korean).

Anyway, one of the things about Ariel is that Ariel isn't a specific race, so the actress's race shouldn't matter.

Of course, Scarlett Johannson played a robot in Ghost in the Shell, but that was definitely whitewashing and a terrible thing.

Also, the adaptation of Annihilation cast Natalie Portman in a role that was revealed in sequel novels was Asian. She had to apologize even though the writer/director had never read past the first novel.

Oh, and remember when people screamed about Johnny Depp playing the Indian in The Lone Ranger?

The mainstream movie press acts like whitewashing is just the worst thing ever, but if you complain about it going the other way then you are just the worst thing ever instead.

It's the hypocrisy that gets me, not the individual decisions (which I don't care about).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (VyAV0)

69 The plot should be the old 007 had a sex and race change. That would complete this circle of hell.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (7RwN9)

70 My guess is this Bond finds time to shop.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (2LelM)

71 "Based on what usually happens in movies, I imagine that this 007 will be
killed during the movie, and the real 007 will have to come out of
retirement to investigate, or will cede the number back to James Bond
near the end of the movie when she realizes he really is a legend and
that number should only be his."

This will piss off the SJW's more than never having a black, female, lesbian 007 in the first place would.

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (xPl2J)

72 Can't come up with anything new, gotta mess with an existing franchise. Comic books and sequels, what a vast range of fresh ideas they lack.

Posted by: zeera My tomatos are doing GREAT at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (T9rmq)

73 3 Bond, Jane Bond.
Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:36 PM (ykq7q)


Nah. You need a gender-ambiguous name.

"Bond. Jordan Bond."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (JaCRW)

74 She's gonna order like daiquiris or something. Wait for it.

Posted by: TexasDan at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (yL25O)

75 More like King Leer.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (Kpl3J)

76
Cubby and Harry are rolling in their graves. Ian Fleming is pleading with the Lord to come back to earth and punch someone in the face for this.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (zBaqJ)

77 Waiting for the woke Little Rascals.
White Buckwheat
Black Spanky
Darla with a dick

Posted by: Ted K. at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (FJYfm)

78 Holding out for a woke nonbinary albino dwarf.
Posted by: Kid Tyrone



003.5?

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (0v57o)

79 60 So is the black chick a lesbian who hot chicks swoon over?
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (2LelM)

That Jane Shaft is a baaaaad mother---

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (RD7QR)

80 If this goes very far, I see the next Bond film opening to a buck-twenty-five in weekend revenue.

Posted by: JEM at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (8erNz)

81 61 This is going to make The Living Daylights seem like King Lear.
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (UVPuB)

The really horrible Brosnan one with the invisible car would be my bet on the worst.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (ycWCI)

82 Great. Thats $12 or so I dont have to spend.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (NA4vJ)

83 3
Bond, Jane Bond.

Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:36 PM (ykq7q)

007, License to Shrill.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (t6MX/)

84 I can see Melissa McCarthy as 0014
Posted by: Bruce at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (vd8XM)


Double Oh Luby's

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (Zz0t1)

85 74 She's gonna order like daiquiris or something. Wait for it.
Posted by: TexasDan at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (yL25O)


Cosmopolitans.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (zBaqJ)

86 "Cosmopolitan, stirred not shaken"

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (/RckA)

87 I'm Gonna Spy On You, Sucka.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (Ct55T)

88

I also think this is a fake out. Getting rid of the James Bond character would be absolute IP suicide. The only thing people care about is the character, not the "007 Universe".

Posted by: Serious Cat at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (Xqo6t)

89 They'll have to make sure they get the same tailor as Captain Marvel uses.

Flatass Flatass of Seville Row.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (37IEG)

90 83 3
Bond, Jane Bond.

Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:36 PM (ykq7q)

007, License to Shrill.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (t6MX/)


License to Kvetch.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (zBaqJ)

91 Brie Larson would be a natural for this role.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (cqNba)

92 I'll have my Cosmopolitan shaken, not stirred.

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (v0R5T)

93 007 made me a sammich.

Posted by: eleven at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (7wztW)

94 Maybe 001 - 006 and 008 - 009 were already taken and the only thing they could do was force James to give up 007.

And if you're anything like me, you are reading those numbers a la Jethro, i.e., "double-naught 7."

Posted by: bluebell at July 16, 2019 02:45 PM (aXucN)

95 007.

Which by coincidence, is also her shoe size. Time to go shoe shopping!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (JaCRW)

96 78 Holding out for a woke nonbinary albino dwarf.

350lb. How do you put all the old DB5 tweaks on a mobility scooter? The ejection seat might be a problem.

Posted by: JEM at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (8erNz)

97 Darn it, Roy. Beat me again.

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (v0R5T)

98 Pink Walther PPK.

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (/RckA)

99 "Oh fuck, I broke a nail."

*kills bad guy what caused that*

Posted by: GnuBreed at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (Z4rgH)

100 No tits, no ass, no brain. A likely dyke.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (NA4vJ)

101 The Spy Who Told Me To Put Out The Garbage

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (Ct55T)

102 This will piss off the SJW's more than never having a black, female, lesbian 007 in the first place would.
=====
also she becomes a member of the NRA and is anti abortion.

Posted by: if you are trying to stick it to them, go all in at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (hBSf5)

103 A couple of morons yesterday speculated that she should get paid 70% of James Bond's salary and be referred to as agent .0049

Posted by: ShainS -- There are but two Parties now: Traitors and Patriots at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (uJh3S)

104 48
I don't watch the new Bond movies either, but I seem to recall someone saying that Bond had already gone gay. Maybe in Skyfall?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (AzW6q)

++++I thought Daniel Craig's continually pursing his lips really off-putting. I do realize that I can get annoyed at the strangest things.

Posted by: washrivergal at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (9+jnX)

105 58 Holding out for a woke nonbinary albino dwarf.
Posted by: Kid Tyrone at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (/FLNB)


sorry, can't help you, I'm not woke.

Posted by: zombie Johnny Winter at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (sy5kK)

106 Hot Dawg! I can't wait to not see that movie.

I may not see it twice, just to prove my bonafides.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (HaL55)

107 58 Holding out for a woke nonbinary albino dwarf.

The Shrimp Who Loved Me in a Non-Binary Manner

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (O8WFE)

108 Ariel is as white as the untanned portions of my ass.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (VpIIl)

109 I can't believe i now hate James Bond movies and LOVE tom Cruises M:I movies.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (PbpT7)

110 The "007 is now a black woman" story goes like this: Supposedly, J


Is this one of those gender tranny movies?
When the going get's tough he/she pulls out the bb bull whip...

Posted by: Conk - better dead than red at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (iEXgF)

111 It's 2019. She's black.

Jones. Luquacious Jones.

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (Zz0t1)

112 109 I can't believe i now hate James Bond movies and LOVE tom Cruises M:I movies.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (PbpT7)

==========

Fallout was great.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (VyAV0)

113
I'm looking for a Somali transbull. He'll be a true Crying Eagle Conservative Patriot™, because he chose to come here, and a better man than biological men, since he chose to become one.

Anyone got a lead?

Posted by: David French at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (AzW6q)

114 This could give new meaning to the phrase "shaken, not stirred."

Posted by: ShainS -- There are but two Parties now: Traitors and Patriots at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (EyIu7)


You beat me to it--sad!

Posted by: Commissar K Rover at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (AZxMX)

115 She's going to be a Somali 007 who marries her brother.

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (xPl2J)

116 81 61 This is going to make The Living Daylights seem like King Lear.
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:43 PM (UVPuB)

The really horrible Brosnan one with the invisible car would be my bet on the worst.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 02:44 PM (ycWCI)

...

that the one with the huge tidal wave right?

Good night that was a bad movie. Not by Bond standards, by any standards.

Posted by: TexasDan at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (yL25O)

117 Bond, Jussie Bond vs Subway.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (UVPuB)

118 "James Bond, 007" is a code name. It's why Moore Bond visited the grave of his predecessor and his wife.

Spectre was a fitting end to the Craig Bond, but bringing him back shows they're all out of ideas. And BADLY out of sync with their audience. Soy boys would never like something as gauche as Bond, and real men would be turned off hard by some black lesbo SJW.

I even miss Dalton, hard and serious as he was.

Posted by: trev006 at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (LR3Y8)

119 If it's just a fake-out, that obviously won't appease the SJW mob. They'll be madder than ever at being condescended to only to be jerked around.

Prediction: Revamping 007 as a butch lesbian version of Pam Grier in Foxy Brown will not work in this--or any parallel--universe.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (Wz5OP)

120 You see, this apparently ordinary Hitachi personal massager is actually a rocket launcher, and this panini press is an encrypted satellite communication terminal.

Posted by: Q at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (t6MX/)

121 Come on guys, the Bond Cinematic Universe will be amazing!

Trevalyan: A Bond Story

The Rise of Blofeld

Moneypenny: Endgame

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (oZ6kz)

122 Is the new movie called Once You Go Black?

Posted by: TexasDan at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (yL25O)

123 If the gender is ambiguous, then it'll be Pat.

Posted by: zeera My tomatos are doing GREAT at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (T9rmq)

124 ++++I thought Daniel Craig's continually pursing his lips really off-putting. I do realize that I can get annoyed at the strangest things.
Posted by: washrivergal



I can not stand his stupid gotdamn face.

I may be too angry about this.

Posted by: eleven at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (7wztW)

125 >>>I don't watch the new Bond movies either, but I seem to recall someone saying that Bond had already gone gay. Maybe in Skyfall?

there was an ambiguous suggestion that he was gay or went gay sometimes as a mission might require.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (PbpT7)

126 Q will be replaced by L, G , B and T

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (/RckA)

127 Poonraker

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (O8WFE)

128

Bond, Gold Bond

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (aKsyK)

129 Q : "Blue sequined pumps ... but with a dagger and a radio transceiver included!"
Jane Bond: "Do you have those with 5 inch heels, in black with rhinestones?"

Posted by: mrp at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (Pqytn)

130 111 It's 2019. She's black.

Jones. Luquacious Jones.
Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (Zz0t1)

I prefer Luscious Jackson: https://youtu.be/0NhqN0KcWAE

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (RD7QR)

131 Maybe 001 - 006 and 008 - 009 were already taken and the only thing they could do was force James to give up 007.

They should have chosen an irrational number, e.g., e. Or even ... π.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (JaCRW)

132 Look Mr Goldfinger, I shouldn't have to explain it to you. If you don't know what you did wrong, I can't help you!

I'm not talking to that bitch, Octopussy. She knows why.

Fine M, do what you want!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (gC2IV)

133 Bond, Jane Bond. Every 28 days, she can't go on a mission.

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (gmo/4)

134 >>Q will be replaced by L, G , B and T

ha.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (K/2j/)

135 You know who made James Bond a gay black woman? America did. That's right, it was America.

Posted by: David French, movie critic at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (cyuo5)

136
there was an ambiguous suggestion that he was gay or went gay sometimes as a mission might require.

--------------
Bend over and think of ole' England.

Posted by: Undocumented at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (5NMZN)

137 125 >>>I don't watch the new Bond movies either, but I seem to recall someone saying that Bond had already gone gay. Maybe in Skyfall?

there was an ambiguous suggestion that he was gay or went gay sometimes as a mission might require.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (PbpT7)

==========

Based entirely on how he cocked his head in one scene.

I enjoy movies a bit, but people digging into these things looking for affirmation of their worldview weirds me out.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (VyAV0)

138 126
Q will be replaced by L, G , B and T

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (/RckA)
Why, because it takes 4 women to do the job Q did by himself?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (37IEG)

139 And another series bites the dust.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (u9hp4)

140 It's not enough to make a movie series with a British Secret Agent KAF.

No, it specifically has to be a female James Bond.

It's called colonization. It's what progressives do. They can't leave anything alone. Everything has to be sucked into the almighty Progressive Integral.

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (wo+B3)

141 Stop it. You know I own the bad Bond film lock, stock, and barrel. It's called Moonraker.

Posted by: Roger Moore at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (iys0/)

142 there was an ambiguous suggestion that he was gay or went gay sometimes as a mission might require.





Posted by: ace



What makes you think it's my first time?

Posted by: pep at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (T6t7i)

143 They could go halfway instead.

"Bond. Barry Bond."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (JaCRW)

144 there was an ambiguous suggestion that he was gay or went gay sometimes as a mission might require. 

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (PbpT7)

Well they would have to gay this one up, wouldn't they. Javier Bardem rescued that scene with the rat story.

Posted by: trev006 at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (LR3Y8)

145 140 It's not enough to make a movie series with a British Secret Agent KAF.

No, it specifically has to be a female James Bond.

It's called colonization. It's what progressives do. They can't leave anything alone. Everything has to be sucked into the almighty Progressive Integral.
Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (wo+B3)

==========

They had Atomic Blonde!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (VyAV0)

146 101
The Spy Who Told Me To Put Out The Garbage

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (Ct55T)

The Spy Who Nagged Me.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (t6MX/)

147 Dr. No (Ed.D.)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (Ct55T)

148 It's hilarious to see her described everywhere as "stunning" right next to a picture of her with those ginormous Groucho Marx eyebrows.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (x2PE6)

149 M is going to be played by little-known actor John Huber, who will often be mentioned but never actually seen in the new film

Posted by: Huck Follywood, wating for Dunham to act at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (cyuo5)

150 Based entirely on how he cocked his head in one scene.

I enjoy movies a bit, but people digging into these things looking for affirmation of their worldview weirds me out.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (VyAV0)

Like a lot of college literature professors who read subtexts into every little detail.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (J+mig)

151 Are the studios blind to to their actual audience?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (ti+mk)

152 I can't believe i now hate James Bond movies and LOVE tom Cruises M:I movies.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:47 PM (PbpT7)

==========

Fallout was great.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison


The only believable movie he was in was Top Gun. Because you have to be smallish to fit in the cockpit.

In an ass whoopin contest? 100,000 quatloos on Dave Batista vs Cruise every time.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (0v57o)

153 Goldfingered

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (K/2j/)

154 He already has a dead wife. (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

Posted by: Lyford at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (KlzLZ)

155 went gay sometimes as a mission might require.

-------

Like Bruce Willis in "The Jackal."

Of course, he brutally murdered the dude he had to make out with in the very next scene, so I don't think that counts.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (AzW6q)

156 132 Look Mr Goldfinger, I shouldn't have to explain it to you. If you don't know what you did wrong, I can't help you!

I'm not talking to that bitch, Octopussy. She knows why.

Fine M, do what you want!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (gC2IV)


"Rosa Kleb is trying to destroy me!"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (JaCRW)

157 The Spy Who Left the Seat Up

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (Zz0t1)

158 Speaking of...

@TheBabylonBee 20h

All Looney Tunes Shorts To Receive Epic Live-Action Remakes

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (DrqHq)

159
Did they run out of numbers?

Posted by: Glenn John at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (LilNs)

160 I'd just as soon see a movie starring Gary 'U.S.' Bonds.

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (wo+B3)

161 If the lesbo Bondette is hot and kills tons of muzzies it could be YUGE!

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (2LelM)

162 So the next reboot of Thunderball will be Thunderthrob?

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (UVPuB)

163 M, does this holster make my butt look big?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (gC2IV)

164 Halle Berry back in the day.

Posted by: OCBill at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (OHvpT)

165 150 Based entirely on how he cocked his head in one scene.

I enjoy movies a bit, but people digging into these things looking for affirmation of their worldview weirds me out.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (VyAV0)

Like a lot of college literature professors who read subtexts into every little detail.
Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (J+mig)

===========

"No, the chair is blue because I thought of my mother's chair in that moment and wanted to put that in there. I liked the color."

"No! It means that the mother character is hiddenly gay!"

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (VyAV0)

166 The SJW crowd doesn't go to Bond movies. Who gives a rat's ass what they think...about anything.

Posted by: Sixkiller at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (xR4rs)

167 007 Will Now Be a Black Woman or Something

Wait, Obama's gonna be in the movies now?

Posted by: annem at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (bM37c)

168 I saw Skyfall and found it pretty dull and way too long. That's the only Craig one I've seen. I didn't see any of the Brosnan or Dalton ones.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (19g6/)

169 Could they have just spun off a female into her own movie, a la the bionic woman? That way they could have both characters and maybe they wouldn't lose the part of the audience who doesn't want to see 007 go female.

Posted by: bluebell at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (aXucN)

170 From the Shoe Store with Pumps.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (t6MX/)

171 154 He already has a dead wife. (On Her Majesty's Secret Service) 

Posted by: Lyford at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (KlzLZ)

Why would Lazenby's Bond survive that crash? And why would James' name be on the tombstone if there was only one body?

Posted by: trev006 at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (LR3Y8)

172 They're really secretly trying to make something so bad, you will learn to like Captain Marvel and Brie Larsen's flat ass.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (VpIIl)

173 162 So the next reboot of Thunderball will be Thunderthrob?
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (UVPuB)

Thunderovary

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (Ct55T)

174 I'm starting to think most movie goers are blacks and lesbians.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (2LelM)

175 Dr. No, Honey I Have A Headache

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (AzW6q)

176 I still like the idea of having a new female agent come in as 009 or whatever and have her teamed up with 007. You can do the grizzled veteran/fresh rookie dynamic, with part of the show being about 009 realizing she can't operate the same way 007 did, and developing her own method. Plenty of conflict there. Key would be to not say either is wrong (certainly not to present it as 009 is so woke and 007 is washed up and out of touch), just that they have different approaches, and have them end up working together to solve a problem. Another key thing would be to NOT have a sexual relationship between them. Then later, 009 could get her own movie while 007 continued to have his, and they could cameo in each other's shows.

Of course, there's no way today's Hollywood would ever do a story like this. They'd have to shoehorn in the sex, and they'd have to have a lecture about old white men. My only point is that it is possible to tell a good story with a female 00 agent.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (7kFm9)

177 Even if there was Pussy Galore, this is going to flop.

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (/RckA)

178 007 vs Jaw-jacker: That Bitch Won't Shut Up!

Posted by: Jethro Bodine, Double Naugt Spy at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (Vy7tf)

179 They had Atomic Blonde!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (VyAV0)


Not good enough!

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (wo+B3)

180 It's hilarious to see her described everywhere as "stunning" right next to a picture of her with those ginormous Groucho Marx eyebrows.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (x2PE6)


There are definitions of "stunning" and there are definitions of "stunning".

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet for Your Clown Car Goat Rodeo Dumpster Fire Needs! at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (hLRSq)

181 I could make an argument that Spectre was worse than Die Another Day.

Die Another Day was just another crap Pierce Brosnan James Bond movie, just 20% more awful than ten other terrible James Bond movies, whereas Spectre destroyed multiple pieces of James Bond lore (James Bond's childhood, Spectre, Blofeld).

I gave up after Spectre. I said, "I'm done."

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (PbpT7)

182 146 101
The Spy Who Told Me To Put Out The Garbage
Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (Ct55T)
The Spy Who Nagged Me.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (t6MX/)

BlackBall.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (Kpl3J)

183 It's hilarious to see her described everywhere as "stunning" right next to a picture of her with those ginormous Groucho Marx eyebrows.
========
Personally, I 've always found the press's descriptions to be accurate, perhaps even understated.

Posted by: Michelle the linebacker Obama at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (5aPVF)

184 Did they run out of numbers?

Posted by: Glenn John at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (LilNs)

Can't count past 010.

Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (ykq7q)

185 166
The SJW crowd doesn't go to Bond movies. Who gives a rat's ass what they think...about anything.

Posted by: Sixkiller at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (xR4rs)
The unlearned lesson McDonalds can teach - no matter what you put on your menu, they're not going to eat here, and they'll never like you.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (37IEG)

186 179 They had Atomic Blonde!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (VyAV0)

Not good enough!
Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (wo+B3)

===========

It was better than Quantom of Solace and Spectre!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (VyAV0)

187 Halle Berry is still very hot. Check her Instagram.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (VpIIl)

188 Diana Riggs, aka Mrs. Emma Peel, was Bond's wife. She was a Greek Mafia princess in that movie.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (UVPuB)

189 Beckoning, Casino Royale is worth seeing.

Posted by: bluebell at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (aXucN)

190 It's called colonization. It's what progressives do. They can't leave anything alone. Everything has to be sucked into the almighty Progressive Integral.

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (wo+B3)

It's not mere colonisation. They're like the skin-walkers of Navajo mythology. They insinuate themselves into an organization, wear it like a giant space bug in an Edgar suit, and use it to get close and cause damage to their intended victims.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (J+mig)

191 The Woke is Not Enough.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (t6MX/)

192 Lawn Raker.

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (wo+B3)

193 Halle Berry back in the day.
Posted by: OCBill at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (OHvpT)


Never liked Halle Berry and found her a sub-par actress.

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (Zz0t1)

194 180 It's hilarious to see her described everywhere as "stunning" right next to a picture of her with those ginormous Groucho Marx eyebrows.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (x2PE6)


There are definitions of "stunning" and there are definitions of "stunning".
Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet for Your Clown Car Goat Rodeo Dumpster Fire Needs! at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (hLRSq)

One is what happens to a northern pike when you whack it in the head with a club.

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (/RckA)

195 Blacktopussy

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (VpIIl)

196 They can bring back Jaws, though.

Posted by: TexasDan at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (yL25O)

197 The spy who came in from the cold and wouldn't turn up the thermostat.

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (gmo/4)

198 I'd watch Halle Berry as Bond. Just keep her out of Cuba, so alternate realities don't collide.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, wating for Dunham to act at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (cyuo5)

199 Oh, man, the Horde is on fire!

Good thing I'm working from home because I can't stop laughing!

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (O8WFE)

200 Lawn Raker.
Posted by: OregonMuse


Hispanic Juan Bond?

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (0v57o)

201 78 Eddie Gaedel: .00875

Posted by: mercenary13 at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (7FSN6)

202 196 They can bring back Jaws, though.
Posted by: TexasDan at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (yL25O)

=========

Played by Summer Glau.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (VyAV0)

203 >>>171 154He already has a dead wife. (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

I know but they're redoing that basic plot. That's why they had Bond drive off into the sunset with a woman he had virtually no chemistry with, with the suggestion that he was In Love Now and At Peace.

They're redoing the Tracy Draco story, except with this wan cipher as his wife.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (PbpT7)

204 182
146 101

The Spy Who Told Me To Put Out The Garbage


Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:46 PM (Ct55T)


The Spy Who Nagged Me.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:50 PM (t6MX/)



BlackBall.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (Kpl3J)

Quantum of Boredom.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (t6MX/)

205 The Spy Who Licked Me

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (UVPuB)

206 It's called colonization. It's what progressives do. They can't leave
anything alone. Everything has to be sucked into the almighty
Progressive Integral.


Plus, they can't come up with anything original to even tie in with the 007 franchise. Hollyweird has been out of good ideas for movies for a long time.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (HaL55)

207
Can't count past 010.

Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (ykq7q)
Well, you can't exactly be a double naught spy without a double naught.
They should count in Hex to get the additional 5 agents.
"And this is agent double-oh-F"

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (37IEG)

208 55 Can she drive an Aston Martin? Isn't it a stick?
Posted by: BignJames


"Mr. Moneynickle! Help! I have to parallel park!"
Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (0v57o)

Daniel Craig couldn't drive a stick so they had to bring an automatic for him.

I don't care if it is a DSG or whatever, I would've told him to learn.

Posted by: WinLinBSDAdmin at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (vgwv+)

209 "Do you expect to make a good movie?"

"No, Mr. Bond. I expect the franchise to die. mwahaha."

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (KUaJL)

210 >>>188 Diana Riggs, aka Mrs. Emma Peel, was Bond's wife. She was a Greek Mafia princess in that movie.

corsican

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (PbpT7)

211 AWWW HELLL NAW


Posted by: 007 at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (rnowa)

212 On Her Majesty's Secret Deodarant

Posted by: annem at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (bM37c)

213 Wasn''t there already some movie that while it didn't have an M-6 spy who was a woman, it had a woman spy?. The actress was blonde. Renee Something No, not Renee Zellwegger-or however her name is spelled

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (+0VWg)

214 They can bring back Jaws, though.
Posted by: TexasDan




Starring AOC.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (0v57o)

215 Never got into the Bond movies that much. I know that's blasphemy around here but I just never found them particularly interesting or entertaining.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (NWiLs)

216 OCTOPUSSY?
Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (O8WFE)

Dr. No But He Threatened My Job
From Russia with HACKERS
Goldinsideoutmember

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (U7voe)

217 183 It's hilarious to see her described everywhere as "stunning" right next to a picture of her with those ginormous Groucho Marx eyebrows.


Would that be the same press that called Bruce Caitlyn Jenner beautiful?

Posted by: Ted K. at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (FJYfm)

218 Thunderthigh

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (gmo/4)

219 New Bond will drive Subaru Forester.

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (/RckA)

220 So who is the villain in this movie?

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (2LelM)

221 Never mind about Akira,...

Just got put into turnaround again.

It's not like fans of the original movie or manga would have liked it anyway.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (VyAV0)

222 213 Wasn''t there already some movie that while it didn't have an M-6 spy who was a woman, it had a woman spy?. The actress was blonde. Renee Something No, not Renee Zellwegger-or however her name is spelled
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (+0VWg)

Atomic Blonde? That was Charlize Theron.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (NWiLs)

223 192
Lawn Raker.


Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (wo+B3)

Sammich Maker.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (t6MX/)

224 I gave up after Spectre. I said, "I'm done." 

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (PbpT7)

Can't really blame you. I personally took Skyfall and Spectre together to explain Bond's very unhappy childhood, and how the Blofeld line has a sick obsession with megalomania and punishing James Bond. It's like a curse.

But I'm not seeing this movie, or probably any other Bond film.

Posted by: trev006 at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (LR3Y8)

225 220 So who is the villain in this movie?
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (2LelM)

The producer?

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (/RckA)

226 >>>Never got into the Bond movies that much. I know that's blasphemy around here but I just never found them particularly interesting or entertaining.

well now that they've gone Star Wars Prequels Bad and made sequels so bad they destroy the earlier movies, I can now totally understand this.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (PbpT7)

227 Goldfishfinger.

Posted by: Jethro Bodine, Double Naught Spy at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (Vy7tf)

228 So who is the villain in this movie?
------
white men

Posted by: Undocumented at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (5NMZN)

229 >> "Dr. No (Ed.D.)"

That reminds me, I was never clear about whether Doctor No had an actual earned doctorate in the Special Executive for Counter-terrorism, Revenge and Extortion, or whether the title was simply an honorarium.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (Wz5OP)

230 If you haven't seen her, she shaves her eyebrows and takes a pep rally poster-grade Sharpie to draw in thick black lines 1/2 inch above where her real eyebrows used to be.

It's MAGNIFICENT.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (DIDiA)

231 Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 02:53 PM (ykq7q)
Well, you can't exactly be a double naught spy without a double naught.
They should count in Hex to get the additional 5 agents.

"And this is agent double-oh-F"
Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (37IEG)


You'll be hearing from our attorneys. Good day, sir.

Posted by: Agent K at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (wo+B3)

232 148 It's hilarious to see her described everywhere as "stunning" right next to a picture of her with those ginormous Groucho Marx eyebrows.
Posted by: Azathoth at July 16, 2019 02:51 PM (x2PE6)


Hell, Rosa deLauro is stunning too.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (JaCRW)

233 Skyfall, I've always said since it came out, would have been a fine adventure/spy thriller in its own right, even if it had not featured James Bond and M but characters something like them.


As for Bond's implication that he had gone gay, I took that remark to Bardem's villain as his just being funny/maintaining his cool.

There was a sort of parody in the Sixties, a piece by someone named Cyril Connolly, called "Bonds Strikes Camp." In it (and I haven't read it in ages, so gimme a break here), Bond, Fleming's Bond, has to go undercover as a woman. I remember him being asked whether he wanted cone-shaped breasts or round ones, and he snarls, "Round, for God's sake!"


Now I'll have to find the item again.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (ClOmq)

234 I'm gonna duck and run after this, but someone put in the comments on a Youtube video on this--

The Man With The Stolen Gun

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (U7voe)

235 Although, I, um, don't actually like Bond movies. I saw one once and didn't care for it. (It was the one that ends with a secondary character stranded in a lifeboat forever. Bond and the chick were rescued, but then the helicopter flew away, and the secondary character was never seen again.) So I'm not the audience here.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (7kFm9)

236 New Bond will drive Subaru Forester.
Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (/RckA)


Took a vacation to Colorado this summer.

There are LOTS of Subaru's rolling around the mountains.

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (Zz0t1)

237 Title VII Royale

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (NWiLs)

238 I agree with the anti-SJW pop culture channel Nerdrotic about this --
Barbara Broccoli and her husband Michael G. Wilson got so sick of the
"When is James Bond going to be a woman? Black? Gay?" question that they
decided to shut the SJWs up and make a black woman "007" (but not James
Bond) briefly in one movie, so that The Mary Sue would get off their
backs. I also agree that if Broccoli wants to really end all questions,
they'll also bait that this new 007 is a lesbian, so they can Check That
Box on the "gay" 007 thing too.


Apparently, the idea of them telling all these SJW NPC's to fuck off never occurred to them.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (HaL55)

239 So this Bond conspires with CIA to rig an American election?

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (2LelM)

240 Next, "Indiana Jones" will be a gay Indian woman from Bangalore. It will be done in English subtitles.

- Stolen from the book, "How to Kill a Movie Franchise is Four Easy Steps".

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (VpIIl)

241 The House, The Car, and The Kids Is Not Enough.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (AzW6q)

242
Daniel Craig couldn't drive a stick so they had to bring an automatic for him.



I don't care if it is a DSG or whatever, I would've told him to learn.

Posted by: WinLinBSDAdmin at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (vgwv+)

+++But he's a star! OMG, this is so funny.

Posted by: washrivergal at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (9+jnX)

243 blofeld is Bond's adoptive brother?!

he lived with blofeld under the same roof and with the same father for 15 years?

And blofeld murdered his adoptive father and James Bond never figured that out?

lol get fucked

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (PbpT7)

244 And then they can make the porn spinoff:

"Agent Oh-Oh-Oh ..."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (JaCRW)

245 Goldfishfinger.
Posted by: Jethro Bodine


The new scratch and sniff Bond movie.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (0v57o)

246 So what will happen to Thumper and Bambi when they remake Diamonds are Forever?

"Why can't someone take their pet rat out for a walk?"

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (UVPuB)

247 Which Casino Royal?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (ti+mk)

248 From Russia with can't we be just friends.

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (gmo/4)

249 On Her Majesty's Sexual Harassment Complaint

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (NWiLs)

250 214 They can bring back Jaws, though.
Posted by: TexasDan

Starring AOC.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (0v57o)

lol my first thought also!!!

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (Kpl3J)

251 Atomic Blonde? That was Charlize Theron.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (NWiLs)


Charlize Theron - Defacto African-American.

Posted by: Jethro Bodine, Double Naught Spy at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (Vy7tf)

252 I was hot for Bond, not going to ruin it by seeing a female 007. Gross.

Posted by: dagny at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (nRWPy)

253 Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (NWiLs)

A number of people have said that-including Bandersnatch, who I think thought that they were too dated and only seemed to like one of the Daniel Craig ones.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (+0VWg)

254 Thunderballess.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (NWiLs)

255 243 blofeld is Bond's adoptive brother?!

he lived with blofeld under the same roof and with the same father for 15 years?

And blofeld murdered his adoptive father and James Bond never figured that out?

lol get fucked
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (PbpT7)

==========

Being completely unattached to the Bond mythos, none of this bothered me.

I could never make my way through the whole series. It got way too silly for way too long.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (VyAV0)

256 They should have Sean Connery play the villain.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (gC2IV)

257 And blofeld murdered his adoptive father and James Bond never figured that out?

lol get fucked
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (PbpT7)

Yeah, Spectre was a mess.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (U7voe)

258 219 New Bond will drive Subaru Forester.
Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (/RckA)


And wear flannel shirts?

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (wo+B3)

259 6 - the additional 6 agents.

Missed it by thaaaat much.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (37IEG)

260 188 Diana Riggs, aka Mrs. Emma Peel, was Bond's wife. She was a Greek Mafia princess in that movie.

**

I miss the old Avengers BBC series. She and Lynda Carter are solely responsible for me hitting puberty very early on.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (x2PE6)

261 Hell, Rosa deLauro is stunning too.

Exidor Lives!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (HaL55)

262 Razorfist's thoughts:
https://youtu.be/KvSQQSPDObs

I see it as a franchise killing choice.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (bcbK8)

263 I liked "The Man From Uncle. Good campy 60's spy flick. All it lacked was a cameo from zombie James Coburn.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, wating for Dunham to act at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (cyuo5)

264 well now that they've gone Star Wars Prequels Bad and made sequels so bad they destroy the earlier movies, I can now totally understand this.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (PbpT7)

I haven't seen the new bond movies, but I have a hard time believing anything can be as big of a let down and as shitty as the star wars prequels..

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (GBteo)

265 Your Mistakes are Forever.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (t6MX/)

266 They're redoing the Tracy Draco story, except with this wan cipher as his wife. 

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (PbpT7)

The Bond falls in Love story was Casino Royale. Skyfall + Spectre is about why Craig's Bond is DONE, and why he needs to take any woman that will have him, then get the fuck OUT of this life before it kills him.

Posted by: trev006 at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (LR3Y8)

267 Thunderballess.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (NWiLs)

Thunderlip.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (U7voe)

268 258 219 New Bond will drive Subaru Forester.
Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (/RckA)

And wear flannel shirts?

And plays softball.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (O8WFE)

269 Two words:
PUSSY GALORE

Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (wtvvX)

270 The UK, *sigh*. Recently, while disposing of my father's old files from the business he started in the UK in the 1970s, I read head hunter letters about potential executives. One described the excellent qualifications of a potential woman executive and then mentioned that she was also physically attractive - in complete frankness and without any irony. (She was not hired but not for that reason). I actually LOL'd when I read it but it was reality. The "old" days.

Posted by: Actually inside the beltway at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (ldXWf)

271 Dr. No, Not Tonight.

Posted by: Jethro Bodine, Double Naught Spy at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (Vy7tf)

272 Yeah that's how I'm reading this. She'll be 007 but not Bond which is the way to square that circle.

I like the through line of the new movies but I just assumed that once Craig is sick of doing them they'll just start over and ignore all of those movies. As they should.

Atomic Blonde is awesome.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (mf5HN)

273 The Spy Who Loved Me But Wasn't "In Love" With Me

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (Ct55T)

274 Next, "Indiana Jones" will be a gay Indian woman from Bangalore. It will be done in English subtitles.

- Stolen from the book, "How to Kill a Movie Franchise is Four Easy Steps".
Posted by: Marcus T


Harrison Ford pretty much did that himself.
Indian Jones and the search for the Geritol Bottle.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (0v57o)

275 252 I was hot for Bond

Posted by: dagny at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (nRWPy)


Which one?

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (wo+B3)

276 They can bring back Sean Connery, but as the bad guy.

C'mon, can't you hear some Hollywood type saying, "Brilliant!, he's even white!"

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (VpIIl)

277 Will she come equipped with a 007 strap on?

Posted by: Xipe Totec at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (NA4vJ)

278 So Spectre is George Soros and the Jews?

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (2LelM)

279 256 They should have Sean Connery play the villain.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (gC2IV)

===========

They wanted him for the Albert Finney role in Skyfall, but Connery remains retired, and I think they considered the idea potentially confusing for the audience. He wasn't supposed to be old Bond, but the audience would have, understandably, thought that.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (VyAV0)

280 255
243 blofeld is Bond's adoptive brother?!



he lived with blofeld under the same roof and with the same father for 15 years?



And blofeld murdered his adoptive father and James Bond never figured that out?



lol get fucked

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (PbpT7)



Yeah, it was like they took the premise for Austin Powers and made it into a serious movie.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (37IEG)

281 I wear my official Roger Moore's James Bond Safari suit to each and every screening..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (so+oy)

282 I, for one, look forward to a fully gender-swapped version of Total Recall, including a male martian prostitute who flashes the main character to show he's got two dongs.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (KUaJL)

283 Daniel Craig couldn't drive a stick so they had to bring an automatic for him.

So THAT'S where the gay rumor started.

The odd thing is that almost all cars in the UK at least until recently where manual transmission.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (JaCRW)

284 I will speak heresy to the Otaku Cult of Akira, I never really liked that movie.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (UVPuB)

285 No S in Diana Rigg, BTW. Yes, my username checks out, thanks :-)

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (7kFm9)

286 Here is me not giving a fuck :-|

Posted by: Guzalot at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (prSvo)

287 Which Casino Royal?
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (ti+mk)

--------

I actually like them both.

Posted by: bluebell at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (aXucN)

288 >>>Yeah, it was like they took the premise for Austin Powers and made it into a serious movie.


YES

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (PbpT7)

289 - Stolen from the book, "How to Kill a Movie Franchise is Four Easy Steps".
Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (VpIIl)

I can do it in four (ish) words.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (u9hp4)

290 The Spy with the Goldfinger that took Octopussy to Casino Royale with a Quantum of Solace to die another day.

It's Epic

Posted by: Ben Had at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (yIBke)

291 The old Bond movies did not have continuity in a plot sense, which was great, because you can watch any one from Dr. No to Casino Royale in any order. And you can skip Die Another Day altogether.

But they also slipped stuff in to make it clear that this was all the same dude. For instance, George Lazenby's Bond marries Teresa in OHMSS in 1969, only to see her murdered at the end of the film. In 1981's For Your Eyes Only (one of the best in the series), Roger Moore mourns at Teresa's grave at the beginning. So the idea that James Bond is a cover name for a series of different dudes is incorrect, and Bond actors only changed because Connery wasn't going to stay 30 years old forever.

Huge Bond fan here. I'll see Bond 25, but if they're doing some woke shit, I'm gonna sit those ones out and only come back when they've come to their senses.

Posted by: CPT11A at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (qQ7kL)

292 David French will guest star as a tranny in the reprise role of Judy Goodhead.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (BRpqW)

293 I knew who I was thinking of-Renee Russo in "The Thomas Crown Affair". Wasn't she a spy?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (+0VWg)

294 The Spy Who Served Me A Restraining Order

Posted by: BignJames at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (ykq7q)

295 284 I will speak heresy to the Otaku Cult of Akira, I never really liked that movie.
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (UVPuB)

==========

I thought it was fine, but nothing terribly special.

It felt like a long manga squeezed into about 100 minutes, which is exactly what it was.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (VyAV0)

296 The Paygap Never Dies.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (t6MX/)

297 007 -- You Know What You Did.

Posted by: eleven at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (7wztW)

298 It will be weird when another actor comes in and says "Ignore the past five movies' continuity."

The Bond movies were always movies without being "sequels" to the last movie. The last few movies, especially with Craig, Hollywood did what Hollywood does.....RUINED it.

I've always found the Bond franchise reasonably entertaining, but the last few have been largely meh. I won't miss it.

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (Zz0t1)

299 243 blofeld is Bond's adoptive brother?!

he lived with blofeld under the same roof and with the same father for 15 years?

And blofeld murdered his adoptive father and James Bond never figured that out?

lol get fucked
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (PbpT7)


This sounds really similar to the last Austin Powers movie!

Posted by: annem at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (bM37c)

300 278 So Spectre is George Soros and the Jews?
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (2LelM)


I always wondered if Ernst Blofeld was modeled on Soros.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (JaCRW)

301 I liked "The Man From Uncle. Good campy 60's spy flick. All it lacked was a cameo from zombie James Coburn.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, wating for Dunham to act at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (cyuo5)


That movie is just fun fun fun.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (mf5HN)

302 I was gonna say, isn't that basically the twist in Goldmember? That Dr. Evil and Austin Powers are brothers?

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (oZ6kz)

303 Dr. No, do what you want.

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (gmo/4)

304 I like that the Bond series went into a sort of DeepState globalist corruption ... a crime syndicate that had infiltrated the highest levels of government. The good guys reclaimed the power ... but maybe they need one where the good guys are down to a few in government, and it is Bond that leads the patriotic remainder of the population in an overthrow?

Luke Rosiak wrote a book on the incredible level of scandal that gets covered up, like the Awan/DWS crap being so much deeper than we know, but it was too embarrassing to all involved ... so they buried it, both parties. He said he wrote the book like a novel, because it is "the biggest scandal in congressional history" (even Gingrich said that). Can that be made into an action flick?


https://youtu.be/G0lhrzWtWMc?t=874

Posted by: illiniwek at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (Cus5s)

305 Dr. No Fucking Way

Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (wtvvX)

306 You Only Live Twice Because of Patriarchal Oppression

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (NWiLs)

307 *tosses a Minmay doll to Backwards Boy*

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (UVPuB)

308 Thunderballess.

-

Thunderlip.

---

Silver Thunder

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (DIDiA)

309 Equal Pay Raker

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (Zz0t1)

310 In 1981's For Your Eyes Only (one of the best in the series), Roger Moore mourns at Teresa's grave at the beginning.

Posted by: CPT11A at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (qQ7kL)

He's more paying respects to Lazenby. Same reason CIA puts stars on their wall.

Posted by: trev006 at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (LR3Y8)

311 My white remake of ROOTS will focus on my upbringing in an Italian-American neighborhood.

I'll call it: YOOTS

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (O8WFE)

312 I liked "The Man From Uncle. Good campy 60's spy flick. All it lacked was a cameo from zombie James Coburn.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, wating for Dunham to act at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (cyuo5)
--------

I did too. I was really hoping for a sequel but I guess it's not going to happen.

Posted by: bluebell at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (aXucN)

313 301 I liked "The Man From Uncle. Good campy 60's spy flick. All it lacked was a cameo from zombie James Coburn.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, wating for Dunham to act at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (cyuo5)

That movie is just fun fun fun.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (mf5HN)

==========

Some directors flounder when given larger budgets, but Guy Ritchie, I think, has found his groove in that model.

The second Sherlock Holmes and The Man From UNCLE are both solidly entertaining flicks.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (VyAV0)

314 Dr. No, I'm fine. Go hang out with your friends.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (KUaJL)

315 61
This is going to make The Living Daylights seem like King Lear.


Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019

*
*
. . .
Living Daylights was a good spy film, with the kind of disinformation scams real intelligence services run on each other, and Timothy Dalton was very convincing. When he aimed that PPK, you were sure he was going to use it, and somebody was going to get dead.

Maybe we should say "It'll make Moonraker seem like King Lear."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (ClOmq)

316 >>>The Bond falls in Love story was Casino Royale.

well yes, but in the books, and I think now the Craig bond super-plot, he falls in love in CR, then says "The bitch is dead" and turns that part of him off, but then Tracy/this new Tracy stand-in reawakens his heart and he marries here, and then Blofeld kills her.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (PbpT7)

317 That Dr. Evil and Austin Powers are brothers?
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM

Yes, except Austin Powers had a more coherent plot and wasn't a grimdark mess.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (U7voe)

318 There is speculation and some reporting that Connery has Alzheimers. I don't know if that's true.

Posted by: pep at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (T6t7i)

319 A View to a Down Blouse

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (Zz0t1)

320 Akira doesn't seem special now. I don't think much else like it existed in 1988, though. Sure, there was Ghibli stuff, but even that wasn't scratching some of the itches that Akira does.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (oZ6kz)

321 @176

They could have done that with the female agent in Skyfall. But instead they kept it as a (bad) Bond-focused flick, and revealed her as a well-known character at the end.

Posted by: junior at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (Am7XU)

322 I shouldn't have to tell you the mission Bond, you should know!

Posted by: M at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (37IEG)

323 I haven't seen the new bond movies, but I have a hard time believing anything can be as big of a let down and as shitty as the star wars prequels..
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (GBteo)

So, you haven't seen Last Jedi, eh?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (ycWCI)

324 Now they've made it weird?
>>
They made it weird when they rewrote Fleming's books to match the movie scripts.

Posted by: FrodoB at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (37bED)

325 >>>The second Sherlock Holmes and The Man From UNCLE are both solidly entertaining flicks.

Man From Uncle >>> almost every James Bond movie

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (PbpT7)

326 It should be offensive to the SJW's that studios don't believe a new POC character in that universe wouldn't stand on its own. Instead they must ride the coattails of an established white male. How can that irony be so lost on them?
What Disney did to Star Wars was bad enough but imagine if the Rey character was introduced in the TFA as 'Luke Skywalker'?

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (CQ3Qb)

327 My white remake of ROOTS will focus on my upbringing in an Italian-American neighborhood.

I'll call it: YOOTS

Posted by: Guy Smiley


Starring Joe Pesci.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (0v57o)

328 Will she come equipped with a 007 strap on?
Posted by: Xipe Totec

................

Imagine the merchandising!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (so+oy)

329 Thunderthighs

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (gmo/4)

330 256 They should have Sean Connery play the villain.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 02:58 PM (gC2IV)

But Bond would have to be played by Alex Trebek.

and the CIA official Felix Leiter would be played by Turd Ferguson.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (Kpl3J)

331 The Spy Who Nagged Me

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Balding American at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (xPJvm)

332 The Spy Who Loved Me But Couldn't Make A Commitment And Was Always Going Out With His Friends And Never Listened To Me.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (K/2j/)

333 Double ho seven

Posted by: Guam tipper at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (FfHat)

334 311
My white remake of ROOTS will focus on my upbringing in an Italian-American neighborhood.



I'll call it: YOOTS





Posted by: Guy Smiley


I'm working on one about medieval witches. I call it NEWTS.

Posted by: pep at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (T6t7i)

335 318 There is speculation and some reporting that Connery has Alzheimers. I don't know if that's true.
Posted by: pep at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (T6t7i)

But I remember banging your mother Alex!

Posted by: Sean C at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (JFO2v)

336 271
Dr. No, Not Tonight.

Posted by: Jethro Bodine, Double Naught Spy at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (Vy7tf)

hah

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (t6MX/)

337 The only Bond Movie I would watch now is if they took all the Bond women still alive and turned it into a Caligula Lesbian Orgy.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (VpIIl)

338 Deadname Another Day

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:04 PM (AzW6q)

339 Does this gun make me look fat?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:04 PM (O8WFE)

340 Ace, when will you become a black woman? That's really what they're demanding.

Posted by: t-bird at July 16, 2019 03:04 PM (C78No)

341 284 I will speak heresy to the Otaku Cult of Akira, I never really liked that movie.
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (UVPuB)

*Points*
*Shrieks*

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:04 PM (bcbK8)

342 ( * )( * )

Starring AtC.

Featuring The Ravage and the Step Stool of Death.


(denounces self)



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at July 16, 2019 03:04 PM (QzJWU)

343 263 I liked "The Man From Uncle. Good campy 60's spy flick. All it lacked was a cameo from zombie James Coburn.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, wating for Dunham to act at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (cyuo5)


As in "In Like Flint?" Hilarious campy send-up of the James Bond genre, as I recall.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 16, 2019 03:04 PM (JaCRW)

344 I think the story was publicized to rile people up like the whole Little Mermaid is Black and Right Twitter is Incensed! thing.

They gave away the whole gimmick - she will not be JB but 007.

So they want people to be all wee weed up about it. No one cares. People are coming to see Craig on the screen no matter what the rest of the accoutrements are.

A for burning up the IP and continuity, well, Spectre pretty much ruined all of that, making the big baddie just trying to blow up the world because of daddy issues. Stupid. Worthless.

Rebooting would be good because time does move on. And everyone else stole the plots anyway. I mean, Vin Diesel does essentially a rebooted James Bond.

And unless you are going to retcon it all the way like The Man from Uncle which sucked and obviates all the cool new tech you are going to have to update the stories. Bond can no longer be someone from the WWII British Naval service.




Posted by: blaster at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (9VeU0)

345 I recon that before it is all over most of the big move franchises will be blown the fuck up. Good. Destroy it all. New stories and new characters are desperately needed. IDGAF about any of the "old" themes and story arcs anyhow. Since about 1960 nothing is worth saving, not really. I was born in 68. My whole life has been filled with movie meh, some ok most were forgetful. Even worse is anything post 90's.


Posted by: USNtakim profoundly deplorable. at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (0OmEj)

346 What did Alex the Chick wear back in the day? Did she make the boys hard? I'm sorry I'm drunk.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (ti+mk)

347 Wasn't Salt also kind of a female James Bond? I mean, that movie wasn't great, but...

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (7kFm9)

348 I can do it in four (ish) words.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (u9hp4)
--------

Oh boy, you can say that again. I remember sitting in the theatre with my husband and another couple, so excited to be seeing another Indiana Jones movie AT LAST. We started losing enthusiasm when Shia LaBoeuf showed up, but when they pulled out the alien gag, we all looked at each other and said I don't believe it.

Posted by: bluebell at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (aXucN)

349 Broseidon, I am not talking the here and now. From the first time I watched it I never cared for any of the characters.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (UVPuB)

350 318 There is speculation and some reporting that Connery has Alzheimers. I don't know if that's true.
Posted by: pep at July 16, 2019 03:02 PM (T6t7i),



Yep

Posted by: Comeys defense team at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (MAstk)

351 347 Wasn't Salt also kind of a female James Bond? I mean, that movie wasn't great, but...
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (7kFm9)

========

I haven't seen that in forever, and I own it. I should recheck it out.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (VyAV0)

352 The thing is, I think we are missing the mark on our speculation on Lady Bond. Due to the way these people think, she will be more hard charging, reckless, two fisted, skirt chasing and cold than a male Bond would ever be without descending into parody.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (ycWCI)

353 That we bond actor is one tough looking dude.

Posted by: Parker Longbaugh at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (4kNoB)

354 They should remake The Color Purple with a white man and call it the Color LOL Go Fuck Yourself.

For diversity.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 02:38 PM (K/2j/)

need to have woody allen as shaft...

Posted by: SturmToddler at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (8D42x)

355 Random train of thought. Red was a good movie with Helen Mirren as the older retired intelligence services hit lady. Last night Excalibur was on TV and I noted that a young Helen Mirren was quite fetching. I can't quite connect the two Helen Mirrens.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (zFzxj)

356 just so you know, there was a leak/rumor that the newest film would be called "Shatterhand."

This was denied.

But so everyone knows: Shatterhand was the pseudonym Blofeld was using in You Only Live Twice, AFTER he'd murdered Tracy.

So if this movie indeed has something to do with "Shatterhand," the plot would go like this: Bond is retired in the beginning of the film, and Blofeld or his agents kill his wife.

Then he un-retires and seeks vengeance.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (PbpT7)

357 James Bond, as well as 007, is a cover name for various agents, none named James.

This accounts for not only the several widely different agents like Connery and Moore, but also for their differing operational areas, ie Connery in Asia, Moore in space.

Maybe they'll put the girl in darkest Peru. Regardless it doesn't matter at all.

Posted by: Total Control Racist at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (TWIWF)

358 Repeating some good 007 movie titles I've heard recently:

Dr. Aw Hell No

The Spy Who Dindu Nuffin

From Compton With Love.

Goldtoof

Thunderballer


Any my favorite quotes:

"Malt Liquor, stolen, not purchased".

"Do you expect me to get woke?
No, I expect you to get broke."

Posted by: SaltyDonnie at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (i6shs)

359 126
Q will be replaced by L, G , B and T

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:48 PM (/RckA)

________


LOL.

Posted by: ShainS -- There are but two Parties now: Traitors and Patriots at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (bwiNG)

360 Live and Let Facebook

Posted by: x at July 16, 2019 03:06 PM (nFwvY)

361 Wasn't Salt also kind of a female James Bond? I mean, that movie wasn't great, but...
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (7kFm9)

Well, programmed sleeper agent from... Somewhere.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (U7voe)

362 Wolfus, the problem arises in that movie in the villain - Joe Don Baker.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (UVPuB)

363 *Points*
*Shrieks*
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:04 PM (bcbK
--------

I thought that was Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Posted by: bluebell at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (aXucN)

364 Dr. No Your Not Getting Any Pussy Tonight

Posted by: Sean C at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (JFO2v)

365 Shatterhand? The NES game with the cop who has a robot arm?

Probably would be a better movie than this new Bond one, yeah.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (oZ6kz)

366 The World Is Not Enough I Want An Ironclad Pre-Nup Too.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (K/2j/)

367 So, you haven't seen Last Jedi, eh?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (ycWCI)

I have not. haha.

It's weird, I was the biggest star wars fan ever as a kid.

Now I don't really give a shit.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (GBteo)

368 Honestly, this is more proof that Hollywood has run out of ideas for good movies. I'm so tired of the recycled garbage with an SJW spin. Give me a break

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (VpIIl)

369 *Points*
*Shrieks*
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:04 PM (bcbK

I saw Akira in college for the first and only time on laser disc. All I can say, even now, is 'What?'

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (ycWCI)

370 There is speculation and some reporting that Connery has Alzheimers. I don't know if that's true.
Posted by: pep


"Sean! We have a new movie franchise for you! James Bond"

"Ok!"

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (0v57o)

371 Your Apology is Not Enough.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (t6MX/)

372
Diamonds Are For Blowjobs

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (AzW6q)

373 348 I can do it in four (ish) words.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:00 PM (u9hp4)
--------
Oh boy, you can say that again. I remember sitting in the theatre with my husband and another couple, so excited to be seeing another Indiana Jones movie AT LAST. We started losing enthusiasm when Shia LaBoeuf showed up, but when they pulled out the alien gag, we all looked at each other and said I don't believe it.

Posted by: bluebell at July 16, 2019 03:05 PM (aXucN)

The next one will be Indiana Jones and the Bollywood Dance Number of Death.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (Kpl3J)

374 The Alimony is Not Enough

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (NWiLs)

375 313
301 I liked "The Man From Uncle. Good campy 60's spy flick. All it lacked was a cameo from zombie James Coburn.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, wating for Dunham to act at July 16, 2019 02:59 PM (cyuo5)



That movie is just fun fun fun.


Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019


*
*
. . .

Speaking as an original fan (a "First Cousin") of the original TV series, I found the U.N.C.L.E. film to have just the right spirit and tone. Not too campy, real danger, humor, a strong contrast between the main characters (which not only were American and Russian, as in the original, but were dark-haired and blond, respectively), and heroes who used their brains as well as brawn or gadgets. When I think of how horrible it could have been -- how so many of the other '60s TV show reboot movies have been, like Dark Shadows turned from campy soap to a comedy -- I realize just how big of an ICBM we U.N.C.L.E. fans dodged.

As for a sequel, who knows. Who'd have thought that the largely unexciting horror comedy Buffy the Vampire Slayer would become such an excellent TV series only a few years later? So revival in some form is still not impossible. . . .

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (ClOmq)

376 The black woman should also be gay and do a really hot lesbo scene. I would up for that.

Posted by: Kat_man at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (WxRrI)

377 Mr and Mrs Black lost me when Jolie was kicking Pitts ass.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (zFzxj)

378 The thing is, I think we are missing the mark on our speculation on Lady Bond. Due to the way these people think, she will be more hard charging, reckless, two fisted, skirt chasing and cold than a male Bond would ever be without descending into parody.

--

The bad guys will save a lot of money by only needing to hire 14 year old boys to guard their base.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (DIDiA)

379 It's weird, I was the biggest star wars fan ever as a kid.

Now I don't really give a shit.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes


Dropping them out of order kinda screwed it up royally for me.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (0v57o)

380 It's weird, I was the biggest star wars fan ever as a kid.

Now I don't really give a shit.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (GBteo)

I'm with ya. Same here.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (Kpl3J)

381 Moon Wrecker

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (zFzxj)

382 Now I don't really give a shit.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (GBteo)

This pretty much sums up the world's view, Harry.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (ycWCI)

383 367 So, you haven't seen Last Jedi, eh?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (ycWCI)

I have not. haha.

It's weird, I was the biggest star wars fan ever as a kid.

Now I don't really give a shit.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (GBteo)

===========

I actually like The Last Jedi, however, you not caring about Star Wars is good.

Star Wars is a tale for children. Adults not caring about what enticed them as children is good.

I've just got a small thing about movies in general, which keeps me a bit plugged into movies.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (VyAV0)

384 The new 007 won't ever let the bad guy get away or get captured and have to escape while the clock ticks down. She will merely kick ass the whole way through and destroy all opposition to ultimate victory for all womyn . Can't wait to see that thriller.

Posted by: Ripley at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (MxEKc)

385 If Bond is on a mission purely for personal vengeance, isn't he kind of, you know, not exactly working for the secret service?

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (7kFm9)

386 52 lifted from the punk monkey section:

147 140 132 Mitt Romney @ Twitter

The president's comments were destructive, demeaning and disunifying. The president has a unique and noble calling to unite the American people--of all different races, colors and creeds or natural origin. In that respect, the president failed badly.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 11:22 AM (NFEMn)

Oh give me an effing break. Like Obama was super successful at unification?
Posted by: Jordan61 at July 16, 2019 11:23 AM (Ez6QX)

Shut up, Mitt. No one is interested in what you have to say, other than your wife.
**
I seriously doubt his wife even cares; she just wants to know when he comes home so that Paolo can be "done" and gone by then.
Posted by: Bonecrusher at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (JNTt1)

Joe F. likes to make Fake Romney posts though, and sometimes we find ourselves disappointed the real Mitt didn't say something quite as cucked as Fake Mitt.

Posted by: Hikaru at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (UnA8+)

387 >>It's weird, I was the biggest star wars fan ever as a kid.

>>Now I don't really give a shit.

Growing up is a hell of a drug.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (K/2j/)

388 Her Memory is Forever.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (t6MX/)

389 As for so called Conceptual Continuity, "The Crux of the Biscuit is the Apostrophe..."

Posted by: Mister Roger's Mean Nun at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (u0crE)

390 After Return of the Jedi, they should have ended it by taking Luke Skywalker out back, shooting him in the head and throwing his corpse in the dumpster. It would have been less painful for everyone.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (VpIIl)

391 Honestly, my family has always been boring. I'm calling our family history Ruts.

Posted by: Northernlurker at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (JgA4k)

392 James Bond? What a wanker.

Posted by: Matt Helm at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (q1Pj5)

393
I saw Akira in college for the first and only time on laser disc. All I can say, even now, is 'What?'



Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (ycWCI)
All you need to know is it's the fault of the United States military.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (37IEG)

394 I knew who I was thinking of-Renee Russo in "The Thomas Crown Affair". Wasn't she a spy?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 16, 2019 03:01 PM (+0VWg)


No, she's an insurance investigator. One of the best totes not a Bond movies out there and, yes, I know it's a remake.

She has some great lines in that movie. She drinks this vile green concoction and I believe it's said or at least heavily implied that's all she eats and she's asked what's in that and she makes a face and replies you don't want to know.

Then after she and Pierce do the deed, the next morning at breakfast there's her concoction and she smiles a bit bitterly and says Damn, I hate being a foregone conclusion.

Also I like when Denis Leary is in roles where he's not being Denis Leary.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (mf5HN)

395 Her Memory is Forever.
Posted by: flounder


*snort

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (0v57o)

396 Tech hearing:

https://tinyurl.com/y3k6kzmw




Posted by: redridinghood at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (RBOtF)

397 I think that the way for the Bond franchise to become timeless is to set the movies in their proper era: the late 50s to mid 60s (Dr No to Thunderball era). Think of it as 007 Mad Men. That way you can have a stable and not idiotic level of technology, terrific fashions, political incorrectness and replaceable Bonds. What's not to love?

Posted by: MichiCanuck at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (OxpGy)

398 No, I want to make you cry, Ms Bond.

Posted by: The Villian Patriarchy at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (jY3BZ)

399 Holding out for a woke nonbinary albino dwarf.

Posted by: Kid Tyrone at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (/FLNB)

don't forget the eskimo ninja part

Posted by: SturmToddler at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (8D42x)

400 No one really cares about Episode 9 because TLJ ended with no hooks. The few people who are excited? It's because two supposedly dead characters have lines in the trailer. Way to build those new characters up, Disney.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (oZ6kz)

401 We could have the best of both worlds. Bond could have a sex change halfway through the movie.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (+y/Ru)

402 362
Wolfus, the problem arises in that movie in the villain - Joe Don Baker.


Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019

*
*
. . .

I'll admit it's been a very long time since I saw the movie. I have some dim memory of Baker being less dramatic or effective as an adversary than Goldfinger or Dr. No, but that's all.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (ClOmq)

403 @284


Akira does have it's moments, particularly early on. But as one of my friends noted after seeing it for the first time, it gets pretty silly when Tetsuo turns into a giant pudding.
It's a gorgeously animated movie. But no one I ever spoke to about it ever thought there was anything special about the story.

Posted by: junior at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (Am7XU)

404 The Spy Who Demands To Speak With Your Manager

Posted by: josephistan at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (Izzlo)

405 Bond movies have ALWAYS reflected the culture and other films at the time they were made. That's why Live and Let Die (1973)featured a nod to both "blaxplotation" films and a Southern sheriff , a nod to Deliverance and White Line Fever and other white trash films at the time.

The follow-up, "Man With the Golden Gun" featured a mobster and lots of martial arts--a nod to The Godfather and Bruce Lee movies

So it's no different. Now, 007 is nodding to SJW sensibilities.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (NFEMn)

406
This seems to be all the rage. A local theater company is doing Henry V. Henry is played by a black woman. So I think I'm going to make a movie about Rosa Parks and cast James Woods as Rosa and Brian Dennehy as the bus.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (kw5n8)

407 Dr. No, It's Actually Your Kid

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (NWiLs)

408 If Broccoli wanted to end the whining all she had to do was come out with a statement that James Bond was, is, and shall always be a heterosexual male. If you don't like that fact, don't go to the theater.

Posted by: Bill R. at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (wzzJf)

409 385 If Bond is on a mission purely for personal vengeance, isn't he kind of, you know, not exactly working for the secret service?
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (7kFm9)


From Antifa With Love.

Posted by: Jethro Bodine, Double Naught Spy at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (Vy7tf)

410 License to Shop

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (K/2j/)

411 Dr. No, It's Actually Not Your Kid

Dammit.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (NWiLs)

412 Also I like when Denis Leary is in roles where he's not being Denis Leary.
Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (mf5HN)

He was good in The Thomas Crowne Affair.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (zFzxj)

413 I missed the last thread so I just want to jump in with...

My, that Ilhan Omar is a regular fucking Yankee Doodle Dandy, no?

And my, but are the NT contingent incandescently stupid. Like 2000-milikohn level stupid.

Posted by: DocJ at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (aJcEn)

414 Thundercvnt.


Yeh...sorry for the crudeness.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (cqNba)

415 Wouldn't a contemporary, sjw approved Bond, simply surrender to everyone?

Posted by: Northernlurker at July 16, 2019 03:12 PM (JgA4k)

416 398
No, I want to make you cry, Ms Bond.


Posted by: The Villian Patriarchy at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (jY3BZ)

Cry Another Day.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:12 PM (t6MX/)

417 I actually like The Last Jedi, however, you not caring about Star Wars is good.

Star Wars is a tale for children. Adults not caring about what enticed them as children is good.

I've just got a small thing about movies in general, which keeps me a bit plugged into movies.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (VyAV0)

Yeah, that's probably all it is.

And I don't have a thing for movies.

I don't know what it is, but I can't stay focused on a movie for 2 or 3 hours. I get bored.

I can read a book for like 6 hours straight though, no problem.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at July 16, 2019 03:12 PM (GBteo)

418 370 There is speculation and some reporting that Connery has Alzheimers. I don't know if that's true.
Posted by: pep


"Sean! We have a new movie franchise for you! James Bond"

"Ok!"
Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:07 PM (0v57o)

-------

I'm going to hell for laughing at that.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 03:12 PM (gC2IV)

419
Joe F. likes to make Fake Romney posts though, and sometimes we find ourselves disappointed the real Mitt didn't say something quite as cucked as Fake Mitt.
Posted by: Hikaru at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (UnA8+)

But that is the REAL Mitt. I just quoted it and added a line or two.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 03:12 PM (NFEMn)

420 Not buying this until I see it.
It would be suicide for James Bond. Why not go out as a trans gender?

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:12 PM (BbGew)

421 390 After Return of the Jedi, they should have ended it by taking Luke Skywalker out back, shooting him in the head and throwing his corpse in the dumpster. It would have been less painful for everyone.
Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (VpIIl)

As a Star Wars fan who grew up reading the EU and thinking Luke was the greatest character ever created anywhere, yes, Star Wars would have been better off if RotJ was the end of the characters.

I don't even hate Star Wars anymore, I'm just completely indifferent. Such a shame for something that had oh so much potential.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:12 PM (u9hp4)

422 Casino Royale Pain in the Ass

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (zFzxj)

423 I like Renee Russo in The Thomas Crown Affair because of the sunbathing scene.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (HaL55)

424 As for a sequel, who knows. Who'd have thought that the largely unexciting horror comedy Buffy the Vampire Slayer would become such an excellent TV series only a few years later? So revival in some form is still not impossible. . . .
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:08 PM (ClOmq)



*twitches on floor in bitter Buffy fangirl betrayed mode*

Yes, the tv show was great because it wasn't the movie at all. Completely different thing.

Paul Reubens death scene in the Buffy movie remains one of my all time favorites though.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (mf5HN)

425 I wouldn't mind seeing Idris Elba in that role.

Posted by: Eisenhorn at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (uGHnY)

426 So will Angela Davis get the part?

Posted by: Marcus T at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (VpIIl)

427 I'm just disappointed seeing the word Shatterhand and not seeing the totally rad mondo cool cover of the NES game.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (oZ6kz)

428 So it's no different. Now, 007 is nodding to SJW sensibilities.
Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (NFEMn)

So, have him steal a souped up Prius!

Posted by: Bill R. at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (wzzJf)

429 It's called colonization. It's what progressives do.
They can't leave anything alone. Everything has to be sucked into the
almighty Progressive Integral.


Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:49 PM (wo+B3)

______


I read those final three words as the Progressive Urinal ...

Posted by: ShainS -- There are but two Parties now: Traitors and Patriots at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (bwiNG)

430 Also, that dopey James Bond space movie, Moonraker...
What movie was big at that time? I mean really big??

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (NFEMn)

431 Star Wars is a tale for children. Adults not caring about what enticed them as children is good.

I've just got a small thing about movies in general, which keeps me a bit plugged into movies.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:09 PM (VyAV0)

I disagree here. Movies do not need to be complex dramatic, twisty affairs.

Star Wars, at it's best, was simple stories of good and evil and adventure (kind of like the good Marvel stories, eh?)

When we say that these types of stories are only for kids, I think we really do adults a disservice.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (ycWCI)

432
It's called colonization. It's what progressives do. They can't leave
anything alone. Everything has to be sucked into the almighty
Progressive Integral.


But they're always the ones calling for the decolonization of stuff.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (aKsyK)

433 406
This seems to be all the rage. A local theater company is doing Henry V. Henry is played by a black woman. So I think I'm going to make a movie about Rosa Parks and cast James Woods as Rosa and Brian Dennehy as the bus.
Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 03:10 PM (kw5n

===========

Suddenly, I'm reminded of this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdR_GU3Hi9U

Why do Robin Hood and King Arthur movies bomb these days?

All of them are "new takes" on the old tales, but the modern movie audience doesn't have the old versions in their heads at all. So, they just see generic action movies instead of a new take on an old story.

Sure, some of us remember Errol Flynn as Robin Hood, but the movie going public? Not much.

Anyway, to relate it back, yeah, we're getting weird takes on classic tales (like black lady as Henry V), but since no one knows Henry V anymore there's no shock to it anymore. It's just another SJW fest without the context of the original.

Soon, there will be some production of some old tale told traditionally that blows up bigger than expected in response.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (VyAV0)

434 I wouldn't mind seeing Idris Elba in that role.

--

As a black woman Bond?

Maybe next movie.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (DIDiA)

435
My, that Ilhan Omar is a regular fucking Yankee Doodle Dandy, no?



And my, but are the NT contingent incandescently stupid. Like 2000-milikohn level stupid.

Posted by: DocJ at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (aJcEn)
Wait, are you saying she can dance like James Cagney ?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (37IEG)

436 007 - A View to a Swap

"Q!!!! What did you do to me!!!" Bond screaming in falsetto.

""Well dearie M thought you needed to be taught a lesson. So I cobbled together a machine. This one here." Q sweeps a hand to the left and camera pans to see a machine starting to spark.

"Q its on fire!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (UVPuB)

437 I'd kick ol' 007's ass from here to eternity.

Posted by: Flint, Our Man at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (q1Pj5)

438 I think the franchise is dead.

You can't go back to the Connery or Moore eras of Bond. They are dated (and were never all that good in the main, in my opinion).

There's no point in talking about Dalton because everyone unjustly hates him.

Brosnan's Bond was godawful in every respect.

Craig's first movie was solid and every one after that is worse than the last.

The series needs something. What would you do to try and save it?

I'd try and interest a nut like Tarantino. I don't even like Tarantino by and large. But I think the franchise needs a totally different take.

A chick Bond ain't going to cut it.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (iys0/)

439 black woman should also be gay and do a really hot lesbo scene. I would up for that

***

Yeah, no.
My city is doing the Pride Parade next week, so now its Pride Season you h8ters
Please God just one little nuke

Posted by: Total Control Racist at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (TWIWF)

440 Casino Royale with cheese.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (gC2IV)

441 It's called colonization. It's what progressives do.
They can't leave anything alone. Everything has to be sucked into the almighty Progressive Integral.


Posted by: OregonMuse


Ahhhh. A black hole.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (0v57o)

442 Will Francis Scaramanga have 3 nipples?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (K/2j/)

443
The villain will be Orangefinger and Jane Bond will have her revenge for when he grabs her pussy by setting him up in a hotel room with pee-pee hookers and giving the evidence to Agent M - for McCain.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (AzW6q)

444 Many years ago I recall reading a piece in which Roger Moore (who had retired from the role of Bond) was asked whether he could be induced to return to the franchise if he were offered the chance to play Bond's father.

"No", he replied, "but for seven million I'll play his mother."

See, that sort of attitude is one of the reasons why I could never accept him as Bond in the first place.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (Wz5OP)

445 401 We could have the best of both worlds. Bond could have a sex change halfway through the movie.

Q makes her a peen.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (O8WFE)

446 I don't even hate Star Wars anymore, I'm just completely indifferent. Such a shame for something that had oh so much potential.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:12 PM (u9hp4)

Nah. Star Wars now actively lowers my interest in an otherwise interesting game or motion picture. And by extension, I now really dislike Disney.

Posted by: trev006 at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (LR3Y8)

447 325
>>>The second Sherlock Holmes and The Man From UNCLE are both solidly entertaining flicks.



Man From Uncle >>> almost every James Bond movie

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019

*
*
. . .
Ace, I'm glad to see you write this. I'd almost agree, except for From Russia With Love and Skyfall.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (ClOmq)

448 425 I wouldn't mind seeing Idris Elba in that role.
Posted by: Eisenhorn at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (uGHnY)

==========

He's said recently that he'd never take the role of Bond.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:15 PM (VyAV0)

449 For Your Mish Only.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:15 PM (t6MX/)

450 No, she's an insurance investigator. One of the best totes not a Bond movies out there and, yes, I know it's a remake. "

I could never watch the second Thomas Crown Affair because the first is one of my favorite movies of all, and a remake could never do anything but disappoint me. Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway were one of the sexiest couples ever on screen together.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:15 PM (Kpl3J)

451 The idea of Bond coming out of retirement purely to go on a rampage of revenge makes me think of Worf leaving his combadge behind, transporting to the Klingon vessel, murdering Duras (who had killed his mate), transporting back, and picking his badge back up like it's totally okay he just murdered a dude (I acknowledge said dude needed killin') because he temporarily resigned his commission to do so. Except Bond is picking his commission back up to do it.

(side note, Worf has the most soap opera life story in Star Trek. Prove me wrong)

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:15 PM (7kFm9)

452 Holy crap a car chase in a Tesla that limits its output because they can't be driven hard for any amount of time and that lets the bad guy gets away would be so f*cking great.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 16, 2019 03:15 PM (DIDiA)

453 431
I disagree here. Movies do not need to be complex dramatic, twisty affairs.

Star Wars, at it's best, was simple stories of good and evil and adventure (kind of like the good Marvel stories, eh?)

When we say that these types of stories are only for kids, I think we really do adults a disservice.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:13 PM (ycWCI)

===========

Not all simple stories are for children.

Star Wars is about space wizards and deals with very basic morality.

It's for children.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (VyAV0)

454 320 Akira doesn't seem special now. I don't think much else like it existed in 1988, though. Sure, there was Ghibli stuff, but even that wasn't scratching some of the itches that Akira does.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:03 PM (oZ6kz)

Akira was too big, too much in that running time. I don't really get the love for it.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (RD7QR)

455 blofeld is Bond's adoptive brother?!

he lived with blofeld under the same roof and with the same father for 15 years?

And blofeld murdered his adoptive father and James Bond never figured that out?

lol get fucked
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 02:57 PM (PbpT7)




That movie sucked more than Obama on a Saturday night

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (kw5n8)

456 Many years ago I recall reading a piece in which Roger Moore (who had retired from the role of Bond) was asked whether he could be induced to return to the franchise if he were offered the chance to play Bond's father.

"No", he replied, "but for seven million I'll play his mother."

See, that sort of attitude is one of the reasons why I could never accept him as Bond in the first place.
Posted by: Anonymous 7 at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (Wz5OP)

Moore played Bond as a lark. He was clearly having fun.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (NFEMn)

457 Why do Robin Hood and King Arthur movies bomb these days?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (VyAV0)

Because they sucked. The Robin Hood reboot wanted to be all gritty and realistic and then turned Maid Marian into Eowyn from LOTR. And the King Arthur with Keira Knightly in it was just plain old awful.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (U7voe)

458 007 must defend the world from Macho Mann and his toxic masculinity bomb. If it goes of, every make in San Francisco will be hollering "Flinch!" and punching each other in the shoulder and shit .

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (+y/Ru)

459 445
401 We could have the best of both worlds. Bond could have a sex change halfway through the movie.



Q makes her a peen.





Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (O8WFE)

This otherwise ordinary looking tampon is a fully armed and operational mechapenis.

Posted by: Q at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (t6MX/)

460 442 Will Francis Scaramanga have 3 nipples?
Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (K/2j/)

LOL the Martian hooker from "Total Recall"!

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (Kpl3J)

461 Maybe they can cast Lawrence Fishburne as Blofeld.

Posted by: Total Control Racist at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (TWIWF)

462 "I also agree that if Broccoli wants to really end all questions, they'll also bait that this new 007 is a lesbian, so they can Check That Box on the "gay" 007 thing too."

The female 007 has to be lesbian because, little known fact, only the first zero is licensed to kill; the second zero is licensed to bang hot chicks.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (kfcYC)

463 Never Means Never

Posted by: BourbonChicken at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (/hYfu)

464 The First Kingsman movie captured Bondery quite well and gave it a good wink along the way.

The second one was less good, but I think that Taron Egerton could carry off a new "real" Bond and he's young enough to keep the franchise going a while.

Posted by: blaster at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (9VeU0)

465 Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (iys0/)

I actually really liked Goldeneye. I thought it had the same overall feel of Casino Royale in a way. Too bad that sequence went into the dumpster.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (ycWCI)

466 I think the consensus when Craig said he was done with Bond was Idris Elba but didn't Elba say he didn't want to do it because he was too old? I sort of recall that. There was an air about it of yeah I've been what Craig goes through to do those roles and Luther doesn't make me do that.


He was good in The Thomas Crowne Affair.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:11 PM (zFzxj)


I can't tell if this is a joke or not since we were talking about The Thomas Crowne Affair. He really does help make that movie because he is exactly snarky and weary enough without it being camp.

Some of these broads are wearing my salary.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (mf5HN)

467 The Patriarchy Never Dies.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (t6MX/)

468 Well The British MI's just ain't that great anymore. Downgrade to 0011.

Posted by: rld77, wit coffee from WAY down south at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (EYD5h)

469 Black guy in movie always dies first put him in red shirt and this movie is over before the broccoli sings.

Posted by: Confucius Crossing the Complaints at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (Tw8cs)

470 There already was a bond movie with a female lead: Jane Bond 0069 meets Octopussy. Not that I would have owned that back in the day or anything...

Posted by: Juddgement at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (LGMzU)

471 Holy crap a car chase in a Tesla that limits its output because they can't be driven hard for any amount of time and that lets the bad guy gets away would be so f*cking great.
Posted by: Moron Robbie


Quick! Turn on the air conditioner.

Why the fuck did we just stop??

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (0v57o)

472 How come the new Bond is black? Why not Chinese? Or Arab? Or Indian? How do you choose which group to appease?

Posted by: annem at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (bM37c)

473 I don't care who plays 007 as long as Shaft is still a mean m*therf*cker

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (v4v6L)

474 Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (mf5HN)

No joke . I thought he was good.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (zFzxj)

475 472 How come the new Bond is black? Why not Chinese? Or Arab? Or Indian? How do you choose which group to appease?
Posted by: annem at July 16, 2019 03:17 PM (bM37c)

==========

Why British?

Why not Somali?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (VyAV0)

476 >>>he idea of Bond coming out of retirement purely to go on a rampage of revenge makes me think of Worf leaving his combadge behind,

well, he's done that before in the movies (the James Bond/Miami Vice shared universe movie License to Kill).

In the book You Only Live Twice, he's given what's intended to be an interesting but not difficult or dangerous mission to get his mind off his dead wife and Blofeld (who's disappeared without a trace).

It turns out this mission he's been assigned to turns out to, coincidentally, have Blofeld at the heart of it, under the adopted name "Shatterhand."

Because, of course.

At that point it's really straight-up vengeance, though he was technically assigned the mission by M. But he's not doing it for queen and country.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (PbpT7)

477 The reason Akira is gorgeously animated is they actually filmed it at thirty frames a second.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (UVPuB)

478 Cash on hand.



Sanders $27.3M
Buttigieg $22.7M
Warren $19.8M
Harris $13.3M
Biden $10.9M
Gillibrand $8.2M
Delaney $7.4M
Klobuchar $6.7M

Posted by: Ha at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (MAstk)

479 Will Francis Scaramanga have 3 nipples?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (K/2j/)

No, but Franny Scaramanga will have 3 boobs.

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (q1Pj5)

480 "The Spy Who Believed That By Buying That Purse On Sale, And Saving $100, She Now Has 100 FREE Dollars To Spend On Something Else"

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama-Butcher at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (Jfw3E)

481 They asked Yoko Ono to write the theme song for this movie.

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (/RckA)

482 Sky Mall

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (zFzxj)

483
the villain - Joe Don Baker.

Bond vs MITCHELL!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (aKsyK)

484 >>Why British?

>>Why not Somali?

Why not an MS-13 illegal alien what contains the spark of divinity?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (K/2j/)

485 I don't care who plays 007 as long as Shaft is still a mean m*therf*cker
Posted by: Cicero


As played by Jussie Smollet.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (0v57o)

486 Because they sucked. The Robin Hood reboot wanted
to be all gritty and realistic and then turned Maid Marian into Eowyn
from LOTR. And the King Arthur with Keira Knightly in it was just plain
old awful.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (U7voe)
When they insist on casting "Muslim" black guys as Robin's trainers or the sheriffs enforcers and don't forget all the kick ass women knights and woodsmen well, uh, yeah.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (37IEG)

487 So this "new 007" would probably just be investigating a front that turns out to be Blofeld in the beginning of the movie

Wrong. The new 007 will stop a plot by alt-rightists to slaughter the people in blue states with weapons of mass destruction prior to the 2020 Census, in order to give the red states more House seats and electoral votes.

The villains will be very striking, with their red hats and Betsy Ross flag t-shirts.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (I2/tG)

488 457 Why do Robin Hood and King Arthur movies bomb these days?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (VyAV0)

Because they sucked. The Robin Hood reboot wanted to be all gritty and realistic and then turned Maid Marian into Eowyn from LOTR. And the King Arthur with Keira Knightly in it was just plain old awful.
Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (U7voe)

=========

And we all know that only good movies make money.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (VyAV0)

489 So she shat her hand? Gross. Is she gonna fling it at the nice ICE agents?

Posted by: The Charlie Daniels of the Torque Wrench at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (Jj+59)

490 Dr. No Means No, Unless I Think You're Hot

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (NWiLs)

491 And people ask me why I don't bother with movies anymore.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (2LelM)

492 457 Why do Robin Hood and King Arthur movies bomb these days?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (VyAV0)

Because they sucked. The Robin Hood reboot wanted to be all gritty and realistic and then turned Maid Marian into Eowyn from LOTR. And the King Arthur with Keira Knightly in it was just plain old awful.
Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (U7voe)

Agreed. I watched the 1981 "Excalibur" recently and actually enoyed it more than I used to. It used to irritate me because of the out of place Knights in Shining Armor and all that, but now I was able to watch it as just a pure fantasy telling of a fantasy story, and on that level it held up quite well.

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (Kpl3J)

493 I really like Ben Wishaw as Q.

On a serious note, Wishaw was masterful in "The Hollow Crown". The guy can really act.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (yIBke)

494 They asked Yoko Ono to write the theme song for this movie.
Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (/RckA)

AAAAEEEEEAAAAAAAAA

Posted by: Yoko Ono at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (U7voe)

495 So, I guess it's Pussy Galore then?

Posted by: Diogenes at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (axyOa)

496 Golddigger.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (t6MX/)

497 471: Clarkson did a bit like that in Top Gear, where he was supposedly consulting on a car chase scene for a movie. He insisted on making it "realistic", including having the guys in the car chase turn off the traction control by holding the button down for the longest seven seconds ever filmed. It was pretty funny.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (7kFm9)

498 492 Agreed. I watched the 1981 "Excalibur" recently and actually enoyed it more than I used to. It used to irritate me because of the out of place Knights in Shining Armor and all that, but now I was able to watch it as just a pure fantasy telling of a fantasy story, and on that level it held up quite well.
Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (Kpl3J)

=========

It was supposed to be The Lord of the Rings.

Where Frodo had sex with Galadriel.

I'm dead serious.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (VyAV0)

499 No means Yes

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (37IEG)

500 Can Bond parallel park?

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (2LelM)

501 494 They asked Yoko Ono to write the theme song for this movie.
Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (/RckA)

AAAAEEEEEAAAAAAAAA
Posted by: Yoko Ono at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (U7voe)

Immigrant Song Part II

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (/RckA)

502 Will Francis Scaramanga have 3 nipples?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (K/2j/)

No, but Franny Scaramanga will have 3 boobs.
Posted by: Count de Monet at July 16, 2019 03:18 PM (q1Pj5)


I heard that Kim Kardasian will be in it and have three butts.

Posted by: DR.WTF at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (aS1PU)

503 BTW, the beginning of Skyfall, where bond is injured and goes missing for a period of time, is a rewritten bit of the half-finished book The Man With The Golden Gun.

In TMWTGG, Bond has gone missing after the events of YOLT. He's lost his memory due to a blow to the head, and then captured by Smersh and brainwashed to assassinate M.

Afterwards, Bond has to go through a fitness exam and is put on limited duty until he can prove himself.

Not exactly as it is in Skyfall, but it has the same basic stuff, Bond is missing, has to come back, etc.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (PbpT7)

504 White Shaft is still a mean m-th-rf-cker, when the foursome ahead is slow as shit and won't let him play through.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (O8WFE)

505 It sounds like the Broccolis' are tired of winning Superbowls. Is this starring tranny Colin K?

Posted by: Bob Kraft at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (Jj+59)

506 I don't know. They could have gone black transgender and gone with James Bond. Then all would be covered, minus the gay I guess, but probably could have made him/her bi transgender.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (vEIlU)

507 I heard that Kim Kardasian will be in it and have three butts.
Posted by: DR.WTF at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (aS1PU)

And now for something completely different.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (NWiLs)

508 Anyway, to relate it back, yeah, we're getting weird takes on classic tales (like black lady as Henry V), but since no one knows Henry V anymore there's no shock to it anymore. It's just another SJW fest without the context of the original.

Soon, there will be some production of some old tale told traditionally that blows up bigger than expected in response.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (VyAV0)



But Henry V was a real person. A white man. I doubt a movie about Martin Luther King with Tom Hanks in the role would get made. But the left has no problem reinventing history and historical people for their woke bullshit

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (mpeBU)

509 In a galaxy far far away

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (ti+mk)

510 It was supposed to be The Lord of the Rings.

Where Frodo had sex with Galadriel.

I'm dead serious.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (VyAV0)

I'm not sure if I'm offended or aroused.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (KUaJL)

511 Not all simple stories are for children.

Star Wars is about space wizards and deals with very basic morality.

It's for children.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (VyAV0)

Disagree. Oftentimes, the choice between good and evil is pretty stark, the choice may not be an easy one because of consequence, but it is simple.

Plus, if it were a bog simple story of good and evil, than what about redemption? Vader's doubt?

I am not saying this is Shakespeare or that Lucas himself even really grasped what he was doing, but (minus the ewoks) I think there is a tremendous amount of merit to the story line of the originals.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (ycWCI)

512 456
Many years ago I recall reading a piece in which Roger Moore (who had
retired from the role of Bond) was asked whether he could be induced to
return to the franchise if he were offered the chance to play Bond's
father.


"No", he replied, "but for seven million I'll play his mother."


See, that sort of attitude is one of the reasons why I could never accept him as Bond in the first place.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (Wz5OP)



Moore played Bond as a lark. He was clearly having fun.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019

*
*
. . .
That "lark" attitude was perfect for his role as Simon Templar, the Saint, who was sort of a pre-Bond in that he had globe-trotting adventures, but was never as grim. (I can't really imagine Simon in a Skyfall-type film.) On the other hand, in some of the old ITC Saint episodes, Moore displays a solid toughness that, if the Bond franchise had called for it, he could have delivered as JB.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:22 PM (ClOmq)

513 500
Can Bond parallel park?

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (2LelM)

Scene three, 007 escapes the unnecessarily slow-moving torture device known as parking on a busy city street.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:22 PM (t6MX/)

514 Rosa Kleb Rides Again!

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 16, 2019 03:22 PM (q1Pj5)

515 Operation Who Gives a Shit!

I am going to guess that the bad guy will be a straight white, Christian male American of European Descent who is controlling President Trump through Vlad Putin. Oh and Global Warming or something.

Posted by: JB1000 at July 16, 2019 03:22 PM (jSar8)

516 Sphinctre

Posted by: BourbonChicken at July 16, 2019 03:22 PM (/hYfu)

517 498 492 Agreed. I watched the 1981 "Excalibur" recently and actually enoyed it more than I used to. It used to irritate me because of the out of place Knights in Shining Armor and all that, but now I was able to watch it as just a pure fantasy telling of a fantasy story, and on that level it held up quite well.
Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (Kpl3J)

=========

It was supposed to be The Lord of the Rings.

Where Frodo had sex with Galadriel.

I'm dead serious.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (VyAV0)

I've seen some of the art from LOTR from the Hildebrant brothers. Good on Frodo.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:22 PM (bcbK8)

518 They could call him Jame Bond and make him a transgender in a girl suit.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (K/2j/)

519 The entire plot to undo western civilization has a fascinating sub plot that is entirely race driven. Spoiler alert: in a surprise twist both plot points intertwine at the conclusion of the story.

Posted by: Max Power at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (q177U)

520 UGLY black woman. She will seduce many very good looking man when IRL nobody would put their dick anywhere near her.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (pw+jk)

521 And if you don't pay to see it at least twice... YOU'RE RACIST

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (v0R5T)

522 And we all know that only good movies make money.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (VyAV0)

They didn't bring anything new. You're right about people having the old movies in mind. New Robin Hood would be compared to the Kevin Costner one-- "I'll cut his heart out with a SPOON!"

They weren't just crap, they were unmemorable crap with no hook.

Posted by: Yoko Ono at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (U7voe)

523 BTW, the Man with the Golden Gun movie is nothing like the book, except with regards to Scaramanga's backstory. The movie includes the book's bio of him as a former trick-shot artist with a circus who'd gone a bit hateful after they killed his beloved elephant.

He also has three nipples in the book, I'm pretty sure.

Nothing else is the same.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (PbpT7)

524



You know what, the person does loo a little like Yaphet Kotto.


Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Williams at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (7wsmM)

525 516
Sphinctre

Posted by: BourbonChicken at July 16, 2019 03:22 PM (/hYfu)

Brown Eye, starring Hope Solo.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (t6MX/)

526 510 It was supposed to be The Lord of the Rings.

Where Frodo had sex with Galadriel.

I'm dead serious.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (VyAV0)

I'm not sure if I'm offended or aroused.
Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (KUaJL)

Both.

Posted by: Samwise Gamgee at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (u9hp4)

527 Who will play Danny Thomas in our new family remake?

Father Blows Best.

Posted by: Hollywood at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (MAstk)

528 Disagree. Oftentimes, the choice between good and evil is pretty stark, the choice may not be an easy one because of consequence, but it is simple.

Plus, if it were a bog simple story of good and evil, than what about redemption? Vader's doubt?

I am not saying this is Shakespeare or that Lucas himself even really grasped what he was doing, but (minus the ewoks) I think there is a tremendous amount of merit to the story line of the originals.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (ycWCI)


Only the Sith deal in absolutes.

Posted by: Obi Wan Kenobi at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (aS1PU)

529 Clarkson did a bit like that in Top Gear, where he was supposedly consulting on a car chase scene for a movie. He insisted on making it "realistic", including having the guys in the car chase turn off the traction control by holding the button down for the longest seven seconds ever filmed. It was pretty funny.
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (7kFm9)

-------

The funniest bit I ever saw on Top Gear was when they had to make an advertisement for the VW Scirocco TDI. Clarkson focused on the fuel efficiency for his ad. It was just a montage of "news footage" of people abandoning buildings and fleeing in fear, and the tagline "Berlin to Warsaw In One Tank."

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (AzW6q)

530 The chase scenes should be on mass transit.

Posted by: Confucius Crossing the Complaints at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (Tw8cs)

531 I don't see a problem at first glance. Actually I think a female 007 would be kinda cool. I'd be okay with that. I'm not a hardcore 007 fan though, so I'm not invested in the fan boy purity aspect of it.

So I'm not really all that outraged about this. Could be interesting. Maybe the female agent could be a spinoff type character that works with Bond? Or a relative that joins M16?

I mean long as their not doing this just to virtue signal or bow to political correctness. That ALWAYS sucks and it ALWAYS makes for a terrible product when they do this. (See Ghostbusters)

Posted by: Agent Cooper at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (iAwUQ)

532 UGLY black woman. She will seduce many very good looking man when IRL nobody would put their dick anywhere near her.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (pw+jk)

Never met me, have you?

Posted by: 2 AM Last Call at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (U7voe)

533 511 I am not saying this is Shakespeare or that Lucas himself even really grasped what he was doing, but (minus the ewoks) I think there is a tremendous amount of merit to the story line of the originals.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (ycWCI)

==========

I don't disagree that there's merit to the storyline, but the movies are very much big adventure stories that appeal to children first.

I'm not knocking the movies for being children's stories. I don't think less of them for it. There are many children's stories that say more about humanity than many adult stories.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (VyAV0)

534 Anyway, to relate it back, yeah, we're getting weird takes on classic tales (like black lady as Henry V), but since no one knows Henry V anymore there's no shock to it anymore. It's just another SJW fest without the context of the original.

Soon, there will be some production of some old tale told traditionally that blows up bigger than expected in response.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison



Shaka Zulu. All white cast set in 1920's Des Moines, Iowa

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (0v57o)

535 Moore played Bond as a lark. He was clearly having fun.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019
*
*
. . .
That "lark" attitude was perfect for his role as Simon Templar, the Saint, who was sort of a pre-Bond in that he had globe-trotting adventures, but was never as grim. (I can't really imagine Simon in a Skyfall-type film.) On the other hand, in some of the old ITC Saint episodes, Moore displays a solid toughness that, if the Bond franchise had called for it, he could have delivered as JB.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:22 PM (ClOmq)

That's the problem with the Moore entries.

Bond is supposed to be a hard man, a killer who gets into trouble and into quim. He's not supposed to be a bit of fun with a nod and a wink.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (bcbK8)

536 I heard that Kim Kardasian will be in it and have three butts.

Posted by: DR.WTF at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (aS1PU)

She'll have to diet first. She has enough mass for four.

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (q1Pj5)

537 Where Frodo had sex with Galadriel.

I'm dead serious.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (VyAV0)

You know what they say about guys with big feet.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (NWiLs)

538 So, have him steal a souped up Prius!

It will have a sail on the roof.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (HaL55)

539 Code Name: Lucky Pierre

Posted by: Max Power at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (q177U)

540 Bond needs to be vegan with everything on the side.

Posted by: Confucius Crossing the Complaints at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (Tw8cs)

541 I heard that Kim Kardasian will be in it and have three butts.

Posted by: DR.WTF at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM (aS1PU)


A reduced role?

Posted by: davidt at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (jY3BZ)

542 I like three butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (O8WFE)

543 It was supposed to be The Lord of the Rings.

Where Frodo had sex with Galadriel.

I'm dead serious.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (VyAV0)

This sounds a lot like Salvatore.

Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (p997d)

544 White Shaft is still a mean m-th-rf-cker, when the foursome ahead is slow as shit and won't let him play through.
Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:21 PM


And no one understands him but his therapist.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (ejd/p)

545 Live And Let Diet

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (K/2j/)

546 Quick! Turn on the air conditioner.

Why the fuck did we just stop??

-

There's a good reason Tesla doesn't brag about their record setting time at the Nurbrgring.

7 minutes = impossible to go flat out like 1980s Ford Fiestas do every day.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - And you call liberalers whiners yeck at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (Lwfjs)

547 Leslie Jones, if she's not busy playing Mongo in the gender-reversed remake of Blazing Saddles.

Posted by: OCBill at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (OHvpT)

548 Remember 2 or 3 years ago when Hollywood bitched that the Academy Awards? No we are entering the stage of if you white, forget about it.My local bank ads show a white mother, Asian child, and a black father. Perfectly normal now???

Posted by: Colin at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (+mGpe)

549 34
How funny would it be if the chick died at the end so the old James Bond could come back?


Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 02:41 PM (p997d


They'll have to wait to do that until they get back the box office numbers. Then they can justify it.

I'd aprpeciate it more if they just made her absolutely terrible and then the final line was her saying, "Man, it takes a man to do this job!"

Posted by: TheHoser at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (IDjUx)

550 'Jane Bondage' is a pretty good pron title by not for everyone. "Jane Boned" is something all could enjoy. Instead of the bond girl being covered in gold paint they could cover her in, well, you know.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (kfcYC)

551 You rang?

Posted by: Dr. Shatterhand at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (5QFq9)

552 >> "There is speculation and some reporting that Connery has Alzheimers. I don't know if that's true."

Don't know about that, but here's a short YouTube clip from two years ago of Connery (with his caregiver) walking in New York City:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96zUj8hxK4Y

I like this comment: "That's not a cane; that's a machine gun disguised as a cane that Q gave him."



Posted by: Anonymous 7 at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (Wz5OP)

553 522 And we all know that only good movies make money.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:19 PM (VyAV0)

They didn't bring anything new. You're right about people having the old movies in mind. New Robin Hood would be compared to the Kevin Costner one-- "I'll cut his heart out with a SPOON!"

They weren't just crap, they were unmemorable crap with no hook.
Posted by: Yoko Ono at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (U7voe)

==========

Actually, that's the exact opposite of my point.

They didn't touch on the original concepts, choosing to go in completely opposite directions when the main movie going audience doesn't even know Kevin Costner's Robin Hood version (how many 18 year olds have seen it)? So, when Occupy Wall Street version of Robin Hood comes out, they're not looking at a new twist on something they know, but on just some other action movie.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (VyAV0)

554 Only the Sith deal in absolutes.
Posted by: Obi Wan Kenobi at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (aS1PU)

Lucas, you are a dunce wandering around thinking he is competent.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (ycWCI)

555 Britain does not have many brands to keep cultivating, that is why the endless cycle.

Same for Pride and Prejudice and Sherlock's.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:26 PM (vEIlU)

556 It was supposed to be The Lord of the Rings.



Where Frodo had sex with Galadriel.



I'm dead serious.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison
>>Wait, what? Where's my agent.

Posted by: FrodoB at July 16, 2019 03:26 PM (37bED)

557 Yeah, no.
My city is doing the Pride Parade next week, so now its Pride Season you h8ters
Please God just one little nuke
Posted by: Total Control Racist at July 16, 2019 03:14 PM (TWIWF)



Wait--isn't that always in the last week (end) of June? At least here in CA anyway.

How long does it go on?

Posted by: Curmudgeon at July 16, 2019 03:26 PM (ujg0T)

558 The pegging scene will be epic.

Posted by: torabora at July 16, 2019 03:26 PM (Y274z)

559 518 They could call him Jame Bond and make him a transgender in a girl suit.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (K/2j/)

The future 007 is damn close to that.
Caroline Munroe she is not.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:26 PM (bcbK8)

560 Bond only drinks water packaged in cardboard but with a metal straw.

A juice box but sexier.

Posted by: Confucius Crossing the Complaints at July 16, 2019 03:26 PM (Tw8cs)

561 543 It was supposed to be The Lord of the Rings.

Where Frodo had sex with Galadriel.

I'm dead serious.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:20 PM (VyAV0)

This sounds a lot like Salvatore.
Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (p997d)

==========

John Boorman, the man who brought us Zardoz and Deliverance.

He almost made The Lord of the Rings.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:26 PM (VyAV0)

562 Mongo Woke!

Mongo only pawn in game of male-dominated, cis-normative life.

Posted by: Mongo at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (O8WFE)

563 547 Leslie Jones, if she's not busy playing Mongo in the gender-reversed remake of Blazing Saddles.
Posted by: OCBill at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (OHvpT)

"Why did she just punch Sarah Jessica Parker?"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (Ct55T)

564 Never Say Whether That Makes Her Ass Look Big Again

Posted by: x at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (nFwvY)

565 Then he un-retires and seeks vengeance.

so lots of flashbacks

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (vEIlU)

566 The Moore Bond sucked.

That fking slide whistle pretty much ruined JB for me.

Posted by: eleven at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (7wztW)

567
That's the problem with the Moore entries.



Bond is supposed to be a hard man, a killer who gets into trouble
and into quim. He's not supposed to be a bit of fun with a nod and a
wink.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019

*
*
. . .
But I still recall with fondness the truly Bondian moment when, holding a minor villain at gunpoint in a car teetering on a cliff, Moore's Bond gets his information, then kicks out and sends car and villain crashing down the cliff to the sea.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (ClOmq)

568 Dr. Just No

Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (O0xvx)

569 218
Thunderthigh

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (gmo/4)
.........

Goldbooty

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (v0R5T)

570 UGLY black woman. She will seduce many very good looking man when IRL nobody would put their dick anywhere near her.


Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (pw+jk)

Wanda Sykes? Aunt Esther? Jamie Foxx as Wanda?

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (q1Pj5)

571


"Bond is supposed to be a hard man, a killer who gets into trouble and into quim. He's not supposed to be a bit of fun with a nod and a wink."

I don't think he was that way all that much in FYEO. The Moore movies looked better than the Connery movies, and had a more worldly atmosphere.


Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Williams at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (7wsmM)

572 Blunderball

Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (O0xvx)

573 I placed a 21:1 wager on betway.com that the next James Bond would be a woman. They haven't paid off yet, and I'm wondering if it's because she's not "James Bond." That'd be pretty ticky-tacky.

Posted by: TheHoser at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (IDjUx)

574 What was that movie that had that chick that is in every movie? Charlize Theron?

She was supposed to be the female James Bond.

But they made the effects of getting beaten up too realistic so that wasn't cool to see a chick getting beaten up. And the girl on girl scenes were not that hawt.

Posted by: blaster at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (9VeU0)

575 For Chad's Eyes Only

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (NWiLs)

576 Barbara Broccoli is actually Michael G. Wilson's half-sister.

Posted by: jic at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (jkHjm)

577 I've got it:

For Your Thighs Only

Brian Stelter as Bond. The Crown compensates him exclusively in KFC drumsticks.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (iys0/)

578 Never read any of the Bond books, they worth the time?

Posted by: A dude in MI at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (HQx/J)

579 Moore played Bond as a lark. He was clearly having fun.
Posted by: JoeF. at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (NFEMn)



THIS. If anyone remembers "The Saint" TV series, Moore was treating Bond as an extension of his Simon Templar character in many ways.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (ujg0T)

580 Box office Again Another Day

Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (O0xvx)

581 Will Jane Bond be showing her boobs?

I think James Bond hearkens back to an England that doesn't exist anymore.

Non sequitur. I really like the song Oh England, My Lionheart by Kate Bush.

Posted by: Northern Lurker, irritable, so very irritable. Have I mentioned I'm irritable? at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (JgA4k)

582 Thunderthigh

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 02:55 PM (gmo/4)
.........

Goldbooty
Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (v0R5T)


Super Spanx

Posted by: Confucius Crossing the Complaints at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (Tw8cs)

583 Not all simple stories are for children.



Star Wars is about space wizards and deals with very basic morality.



It's for children.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:16 PM (VyAV0)



Disagree. Oftentimes, the choice between good and evil is pretty
stark, the choice may not be an easy one because of consequence, but it
is simple.



Plus, if it were a bog simple story of good and evil, than what about redemption? Vader's doubt?



I am not saying this is Shakespeare or that Lucas himself even
really grasped what he was doing, but (minus the ewoks) I think there is
a tremendous amount of merit to the story line of the originals.


Kids today have no idea of right or wrong, so that would be like a totes new concept to them. It might work!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (HaL55)

584
This sounds a lot like Salvatore.
Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:24 PM (p997d)

==========

John Boorman, the man who brought us Zardoz and Deliverance.

He almost made The Lord of the Rings.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:26 PM (VyAV0)

RA Salvatore, a writer not a director. He has some pretty absurd sexualization of stuff. The idea of a frodo x galadriel thing reminds me of him.

Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (p997d)

585 Now we are just doing already made porn spoof titles.

So, normal.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (ycWCI)

586 If Stelter was in it the title would be obvious - Butterball.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (37IEG)

587 The Spy Who Mansplained Me

Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (O0xvx)

588 518 They could call him Jame Bond and make him a transgender in a girl suit.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (K/2j/)

Guest star Brian Denehy as The Hose.

Posted by: davidt at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (jY3BZ)

589 What was that movie that had that chick that is in every movie? Charlize Theron?

She was supposed to be the female James Bond.

But they made the effects of getting beaten up too realistic so that wasn't cool to see a chick getting beaten up. And the girl on girl scenes were not that hawt.
Posted by: blaster at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (9VeU0)


Used to love her. Had a huge crush on her. Now, she's banging Spicoli. She's soiled forever.

And that action / spy movie she was in was unwatchable.

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (Zz0t1)

590 Five words to win the Oscar.

Daniel Craig in a dress.

That's right not only does 007 become a tranny...but he still gets to make out with hot bond girls to get lesbian credit.

Posted by: 18-1 at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (WdocV)

591 Old Shatterhand was a character in a bunch of Westerns written by German author Karl May in the 19th century. They were Hitler's favorite childhood books. So the Ace proposal sounds like a good one.

Posted by: Molly at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (bM3Cd)

592 Barbara Broccoli is actually Michael G. Wilson's half-sister.
Posted by: jic at July 16, 2019 03:28 PM (jkHjm)

I thought she was a Veggie Tales character.

Posted by: Northern Lurker, irritable, so very irritable. Have I mentioned I'm irritable? at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (JgA4k)

593 Never read any of the Bond books, they worth the time?
Posted by: A dude in MI at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (HQx/J)


I tried as a kid but lost interest.

Posted by: DR.WTF at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (aS1PU)

594 What's 007's preferred pronoun?
He/She -- Zie, Sie, Ey, Ve, Tey, E
Him/Her -- Zim, Sie, Em, Ver, Ter, Em
His/Her -- Zir, Hir, Eir, Vis, Tem, Eir
His/Hers -- Zis, Hirs, Eirs, Vers, Ters, Eirs
Himself/Herself -- Zieself, Hirself, Eirself, Verself, Terself, Emself
I personally like the descriptive Jaws used on Carl Weathers in FORCE 10 FROM NAVARONE

Posted by: Bob Kraft at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (Jj+59)

595 License to Microaggress.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (t6MX/)

596 Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (Zz0t1)

She's also a lunatic leftist even by Hollywood standards. Do not support.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (U7voe)

597 Samuel Jackson will be the villain, going around asking everybody what's in their wallet.

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (v0R5T)

598 Now we are just doing already made porn spoof titles.

So, normal.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (ycWCI)


0069: A View to a Threesome

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (Zz0t1)

599 Live And Let Diet

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (K/2j/)

===
Golf Clap

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (pw+jk)

600 Bond films have been in the decline for decades but Craig killed them, he is to Bond what Clinton is to the truth. All the BS about a gay, black, woman Bond is just nonsense.

A gay Bond, been there done that, it was called Pee Wee Herman. A black Bond, ever see that bomb called the Wild, Wild West? A woman Bond, every time Anderson Cooper appears on CNN.

The Left hates Bond. He's masculine, sophisticated, sexy, absolutely toxic by the Left's standards, so lets find another Sean and start from the beginning when Bond was a naval officer.

As for the deviants, create your own hero. Nothing I like better than seeing the Hollywierd crowd lose tens of millions on fantasy Leftard movies no pays to see.

Posted by: I am not corey Booker at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (nRj4F)

601 Like the New Casino
Loved Skyfall

*covers ears*

Posted by: rhennigantx at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (JFO2v)

602 And that action / spy movie she was in was unwatchable.

You referring to Mad Max With One Arm?

Posted by: Bob Kraft at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (Jj+59)

603 I completely forgot there even was a woman in Spectre - she was that boring an actress. I mean she's hot, but good god - I can't even remember a single word she said.

In On Her Majesty's Secret Service we got Diana Rigg as Mrs James Bond - who's every wink and smile I remember, 40 years later.

Part of the problem with so many leading actresses today - they seem like school girls. Diana Rigg always seemed like a woman.

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (VPvxh)

604 One you taste black you'll never go back....could be used on the posters.

Posted by: Colin at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (+mGpe)

605 Your feelings betray you. You care deeply for this Bond franchise. Especialy for...yes...the stunt casting. Now EON's failure is complete. Your feelings have led me to this stunt casting. To Idris Elba and...yes...the black woman, You were wise to hide her from me. if Idris Elba will not portray a woke Bond, perhaps she will.


NEVER!!!!

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (oZ6kz)

606 Poonraker...my fav!

Posted by: Michelle O's Landing Strip at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (HQx/J)

607 On Her Majesty's Staff

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (q1Pj5)

608 578 Never read any of the Bond books, they worth the time?
Posted by: A dude in MI at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (HQx/J)

They're pulpy sex and violence and scenery.

So..yeah!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (bcbK8)

609 597
Samuel Jackson will be the villain, going around asking everybody what's in their wallet.

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (v0R5T)
And constantly getting angry for being confused with Laurence Fishburne.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (37IEG)

610 Checking in to comment to kill this thread...
I have attended and matriculated from the willow School of Thread Doom...

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (bCLt0)

611 Of course, there's no way today's Hollywood would ever do a story like this. They'd have to shoehorn in the sex, and they'd have to have a lecture about old white men. My only point is that it is possible to tell a good story with a female 00 agent.
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at July 16, 2019 02:52 PM (7kFm9)

Sounds a lot like Get Smart and Agent 99.

The real issue these days is I doubt the abilty of the writers to execute the writing of a movie of any sort, SJW infected or not, retread plot or original. Plenty of good writers make old plots work and seem new but those days seem long gone.

Posted by: Oldcat at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (FTPn0)

612 pulpy sex

Ewwwww.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (NWiLs)

613 I really need to watch the Man from Uncle Remake. My mom was a huge fan of the series, so I caught a lot of bits and pieces of the original growing up.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (ycWCI)

614 But I still recall with fondness the truly Bondian moment when, holding a minor villain at gunpoint in a car teetering on a cliff, Moore's Bond gets his information, then kicks out and sends car and villain crashing down the cliff to the sea.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (ClOmq)



Roger could pull it off but those scenes were far and few between in his movies. There's a scene in Golden Gun where he's getting rough with Maud Adams and she says, You're hurting my arm. He responds, I'll break it if you don't tell me what I want

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (mpeBU)

615 Never read any of the Bond books, they worth the time?

Posted by: A dude in MI at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (HQx/J)

They're not bad, but I wouldn't pay full freight...get them out of the library.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (wYseH)

616 Diamond Engagement Ring Payments Are Forever

Posted by: rhennigantx at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (JFO2v)

617 Or wait...even better.

007 dies at the start of the movie and MI6 has to turn to the one "MAN" that can save the world.

Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs

Posted by: 18-1 at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (WdocV)

618 613 I really need to watch the Man from Uncle Remake. My mom was a huge fan of the series, so I caught a lot of bits and pieces of the original growing up.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (ycWCI)

========

It's easy fun.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (VyAV0)

619 The Man with the Toxic Masculinity.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (t6MX/)

620 What does the Horde think about the Mission Impossible movie franchise? I've only seen the one with the Chunnel train. Ridiculopolis.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (zFzxj)

621 Checking in to comment to kill this thread...
I have attended and matriculated from the willow School of Thread Doom...
Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:32 PM (bCLt0)


There is no willow, only Zuul.

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (Zz0t1)

622 Who is ...

Posted by: Edward Butowsky at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (Iqg12)

623 The only way this works is if the movie opens with Connery shagging her, someone kills Connery, and she goes on a righteous warpath of destruction - while occasionally topless.

Posted by: Jean at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (BohOt)

624 Never read any of the Bond books, they worth the time?

Posted by: A dude in MI at July 16, 2019 03:29 PM (HQx/J)



I tried as a kid but lost interest.

Posted by: DR.WTF at July 16, 2019 03:30 PM (aS1PU)

====
I read all of them in junior high school and loved them. The movies went to the absurd or campy.
Casino Royale was crazy nuts in the torture part and came real close to the book... just not as long and not in Bond's head.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (pw+jk)

625 New Bond Stuff... Casino Royale++, Skyfall, eh, okayish, Spectre... a steaming gut pile....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (bCLt0)

626 My mom was a huge fan of the series, so I caught a lot of bits and pieces of the original growing up.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (ycWCI)

The guy whose name I can't remember but he played Superman is in it. I remember nothing else about it.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (U7voe)

627 The Left hates Bond. He's masculine,
sophisticated, sexy, absolutely toxic by the Left's standards, so lets
find another Sean and start from the beginning when Bond was a naval
officer.



As for the deviants, create your own hero. Nothing I like better
than seeing the Hollywierd crowd lose tens of millions on fantasy
Leftard movies no pays to see.

Posted by: I am not corey Booker at July 16, 2019 03:31 PM (nRj4F)

It's dead, Jim!

Posted by: Yoda at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (t6MX/)

628 UGLY black woman. She will seduce many very good looking man when IRL nobody would put their dick anywhere near her.


Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (pw+jk)

Wanda Sykes? Aunt Esther? Jamie Foxx as Wanda?
Posted by: Count de Monet


Madea/Tyler Perry

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (0v57o)

629 Will Jane Bond be showing her boobs?
......

I hope not, I saw a picture of her.
DO NOT SHOW US YER TITS

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (v0R5T)

630 I also think this is a fake out. Getting rid of the James Bond character would be absolute IP suicide.

Agreed, but I imagine most people wouldn't be too upset if they threw in some hot lesbian action before Bond reasserts himself.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (ZGrMX)

631 617
Or wait...even better.

007 dies at the start of the movie and MI6 has to turn to the one "MAN" that can save the world.

Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs


Posted by: 18-1 at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (WdocV)
No no...Bill Murray, from "The man who knew too much"

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (37IEG)

632 The Paolo Who Loved Me

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (q1Pj5)

633 Golden Showers Eye

Posted by: rhennigantx at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (JFO2v)

634 But yet Red Bull was promoting 007 at Silverstone and Daniel Craig was a guest.

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (BbGew)

635 620 What does the Horde think about the Mission Impossible movie franchise? I've only seen the one with the Chunnel train. Ridiculopolis.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (zFzxj)

Never liked 1-3.

Loved 4.

5 was eh.

Loved 6.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (u9hp4)

636 620 What does the Horde think about the Mission Impossible movie franchise? I've only seen the one with the Chunnel train. Ridiculopolis.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (zFzxj)

I actually really enjoyed the next to most recent one? The one with the sexy, redhead spy. Protocol, something?

I am a sucker for redheads and the movie overall seemed good without getting bogged down in rubber mask land.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (ycWCI)

637 I look forward to seeing Terry Crews cast as Wonder Woman.

Posted by: Mister Christopher (in Atlanta yo) at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (XOi3t)

638 Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (bCLt0)

I notice you didn't bother mentioning Quantum of Suckass.

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (U7voe)

639 632 The Paolo Who Loved Me
Posted by: Count de Monet at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (q1Pj5)

==========

If you want to call what The Paolo does "love".

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (VyAV0)

640 Your relentless woke marketing is your weakness.

Your faith in the box office draw of traditionally good storytelling is yours.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (oZ6kz)

641 The new Bond is very homely.... so that should be a real plus for SJWs and Socialists...

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (bCLt0)

642 I think it is time to make Ace a woman.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (AfYCk)

643 Tomorrow Never Dyes

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (Ct55T)

644
Only the Sith deal in absolutes.

Posted by: Obi Wan Kenobi at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (aS1PU)



Lucas, you are a dunce wandering around thinking he is competent.


I never was able to grok that particular line. It made no sense whatsoever. I mean, I know that's a sci-fy/fantasy movie, but give me a break.


It wasn't too hard to see (for me anyways) that Lucas had no story ready for TESB and was just making it up as he went along. He said there were 12 stories in total to the Star Wars series. Right George, I believe you...*massive eyeroll thingy*

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (HaL55)

645 >>>Never read any of the Bond books, they worth the time?

meh. I do like You Only Live Twice.

I'm going to try re-reading them soon. I think I'll read Casino Royale, which I hear is good (and which I didn't appreciate as a kid, because Bond isn't like the movie bond). I'll skip Live and Let Die which I just re-read (and it's awful, really), then read Moonraker, which I hear is pretty good (not like the movie).

I'll skip Goldfinger because I've read it like six times. (It's okay -- the movie is very, very close to the book.)

I'll re-read From Russia with Love.

I'll definitely skip diamonds are forever, which is trash.

A trilogy someone could read is Thunderball -- On Her Majesty's Secret Service -- You Only Live Twice. These are all about Blofeld, and the first two have movies which are very close to the books. YOLT, the movie, is nothing at all like the books, but very good.

That triloogy is pretty tightly linked so it might be a good series to read.

Some people add in The Man With the Golden Gun as the fourth book in the tetrology, but Fleming died with the book unfinished and people tried to finish it from his notes and incomplete sections. And it's just terrible. Just not good at all.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (PbpT7)

646 635 620 What does the Horde think about the Mission Impossible movie franchise? I've only seen the one with the Chunnel train. Ridiculopolis.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (zFzxj)

Never liked 1-3.

Loved 4.

5 was eh.

Loved 6.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (u9hp4)

==========

2 is one of the worst big budget movies ever made.

And it makes me question the sanity of anyone who holds up John Woo as some sort of quality filmmaker.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (VyAV0)

647 Problem here is that the SJW crowd WILL see this as a win.

And once you pay the Danegeld, the Dane never goes away.

Why do we have terrorists? Because it does work. It does create a cheap threat with which to threaten a larger society, IF THAT SOCIETY just sits there and takes it.

The only way to get rid of terrorism is to make it so cost prohibitive TO ITS CAUSE, that they won't do it out of fear.

ie, with Islamic terrorism, you need to Punish Islam in some manner every time a Jihadist goes boom.

This changing of Bond is giving into emotional terrorism. Don't do it. If fact, make a REALLY Old school Miscogynist Bond!

Posted by: Don Q. at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (NgKpN)

648 Lashana Rasheda Lynch has my grand dad's eyebrows - No joke.

Very sexy.

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (VPvxh)

649 What does the Horde think about the Mission Impossible movie franchise? I've only seen the one with the Chunnel train. Ridiculopolis.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (zFzxj)

Never liked 1-3.

Loved 4.

5 was eh.

Loved 6.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (u9hp4)


That's exactly how I feel.

Posted by: DR.WTF at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (aS1PU)

650 Black Lesbian: Bond, Jane Bond.

Moneypenny: Strap. Strap on.



Posted by: The Man from Athens at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (QMwOT)

651 007 dies at the start of the movie and MI6 has to turn to the one "MAN" that can save the world.

Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs


Posted by: 18-1 at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (WdocV)

James Bond... Was he a great big fat person?

Posted by: Jame Gumb at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (U7voe)

652 642 I think it is time to make Ace a woman.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (AfYCk)

Nowadays that only requires a thought.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (u9hp4)

653 640 Your relentless woke marketing is your weakness.

Your faith in the box office draw of traditionally good storytelling is yours.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (oZ6kz)

My weakness is in telling a good story that people want to see?

I am ok with that.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (ycWCI)

654 Sure wish I could share some of this sticky toffee pudding cake with you all.

This ought to kill the thread for sure.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (yIBke)

655 638 Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (bCLt0)

I notice you didn't bother mentioning Quantum of Suckass.
Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:35 PM (U7voe)

Yes, Vanya, my silence is eloquent.....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (bCLt0)

656 Ok after perusing the posts we will have --Jane BondNanopussyOld FingerDr GumheadStar BloboyBobJobBunny HyderMiss BaroMissy Sazuski

and Finally
MmmmmBonnycentavo
Not a complete list, but a good start

Posted by: rld77, wit coffee from WAY down south at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (EYD5h)

657
UGLY black woman. She will seduce many very good looking man when IRL nobody would put their dick anywhere near her.





Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:23 PM (pw+jk)



Wanda Sykes? Aunt Esther? Jamie Foxx as Wanda?

Posted by: Count de Monet





Madea/Tyler Perry

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:34 PM (0v57o)

===
Go on!!!!

Fap, fap, fap, SQUIRT

Posted by: Shep Smith at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (pw+jk)

658 I Only Came Twice

Posted by: Jane Bond at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (q1Pj5)

659 This seems like the perfect moment in time to make a really macho, over the top film. Could be a classic fish out of water tale of misunderstood cultural norms.

Posted by: Max Power at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (q177U)

660 Maybe Mike Meyers will be moved to do another "Shagarific" movie in which a doddering Austin Powers comes back, tosses aside Heather Graham for a reprogrammed sex bot who's jubblies have been disarmed but, the sexbot instead goes wild, fixes the jubblies, goes on a murderous rampage with the killer bust. Austin finally convinces the robot that he's always loved her and wants her back and that's he's got over his robophobia, which was keeping him from his true love.

Let's call it, "The Spybot Who Loved Me."

Posted by: Blake - my preferred pronoun is: Pronoun! at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (qC1Sy)

661
On Her Majesty's Secret Service was one of the most serious of the series and it was considered a dud. Part of the blame was on Lazenby. So they got Connery back for Diamonds and went far more light hearted. The Moore's continued in the light entertainment vein

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (mpeBU)

662 And it makes me question the sanity of anyone who holds up John Woo as some sort of quality filmmaker.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (VyAV0)

You know what this scene needs? Slow motion. And a bunch of pigeons.

Posted by: John Woo at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (U7voe)

663 ot

I commented about this twitter thread this weekend, but was wondering if it were true. It related to Ace's Wow thread earlier last week with the strange barista ending up on the floor in the fetal position.

Carol Blymire Verified account @CarolBlymire

Here is a hopefully short synopsis of something that happened this week that I still don't understand (1/?)

https://tinyurl.com/yynjtxwh

I went to her blog and it seems real enough.

I overheard a strange interaction involving a supervisor giving editing feedback to a young professional woman. The young woman (in her late 20s by my estimation), did not take it well. Jaw-droppingness ensued. I sat with it in my brain all week, but couldn't make sense of it. I talked with some friends and work colleagues about it. They shared their own similar horror stories. I decided to share the story on Twitter to express how certain behaviors affect how a person is perceived, and how that perception is then unfairly assigned to others in that person's age group. You can follow the Tweet thread here.

I thought I'd have a few responses from friends here in DC and that would be that. BUT NO. It ended up as the #3 trending story on Twitter by Saturday morning and I've been getting calls and emails from podcasters, reporters, and radio stations around the world (shout out to Australia, which has had 5 different stations email me) who want me to talk about this and offer advice.

As much as I love a good press clip, I've politely declined and I'm not doing any of them. Why? Most of the folks reaching out to me want to turn this into a story about how 20somethings are awful. And I just don't believe that...


uh huh

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (vEIlU)

664 Will this be the first direct to Blu-ray 007?

Maybe Disney will by the franchise.

Posted by: JustALowlySoftwareEng at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (CDCKr)

665 What does the Horde think about the Mission Impossible movie franchise?



Tom Cruise 5'7" is not believable fighting and winning against equally trained 6'4" guys.

Size & reach does matter.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (0v57o)

666 2 is one of the worst big budget movies ever made.

And it makes me question the sanity of anyone who holds up John Woo as some sort of quality filmmaker.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (VyAV0)

Is that the one with the Chunnel train scene?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (zFzxj)

667 Profitfall

Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (O0xvx)

668 653 640 Your relentless woke marketing is your weakness.

Your faith in the box office draw of traditionally good storytelling is yours.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (oZ6kz)

My weakness is in telling a good story that people want to see?

I am ok with that.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (ycWCI)

==========

I'm gonna quote William Goldman:

"Nobody knows anything."

Hollywood has no idea what will sell and what won't. Every movie is a shot in the dark.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (VyAV0)

669 How about a transsexual Godfather.

Posted by: ... at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (JnsUB)

670 007 will be a black transfemale lesbian. So when it bombs, it will because we are racist, sexist, transphobic and bigoted.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (AfYCk)

671 652 642 I think it is time to make Ace a woman.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (AfYCk)

Nowadays that only requires a thought.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:37 PM (u9hp4)

This is taking a weird turn.

Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (p997d)

672 Dr. No Means No!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (ejd/p)

673 Mark Sanford Considers Challenging Donald Trump for President in 2020.

Don't cry for me, Argentina.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (O8WFE)

674
Strap on
Strap off
Strap on
Strap off
The strapper.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (3l5Yq)

675 [I never was able to grok that particular line. It made no sense
whatsoever. I mean, I know that's a sci-fy/fantasy movie, but give me a
break.]

Anti-GWB, "Either you're with us or with the terrorists."

Posted by: davidt at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (jY3BZ)

676 662 And it makes me question the sanity of anyone who holds up John Woo as some sort of quality filmmaker.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (VyAV0)

You know what this scene needs? Slow motion. And a bunch of pigeons.
Posted by: John Woo at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (U7voe)

==========

What about characters?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (VyAV0)

677 >>> Instead of the bond girl being covered in gold paint they could cover her in, well, you know.
Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 16, 2019 03:25 PM (kfcYC)

Exercise bands?

Posted by: Harry Reid at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (q177U)

678 ace, the Bond books, IMO, are not bad, not good, and are just stories, much like Louis L'Amour.... meant to amuse, not absorb....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (bCLt0)

679 *pauses*

James Bond versus Zoran's Radio Zombies?

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (UVPuB)

680 Let's call it, "The Spybot Who Loved Me."
Posted by: Blake - my preferred pronoun is: Pronoun! at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (qC1Sy)

Spybots name?

Google Galore?

Posted by: Don Q. at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (NgKpN)

681 I liked the Man from UNCLE movie as well as the original series. Really would have liked a sequel.

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (BbGew)

682 On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Heh . Title is already spoofed.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (zFzxj)

683 Everyone hates the 70s, but the 60s were really incredibly cheesy too.

Posted by: Chris M at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (eAZVt)

684 Is that the one with the Chunnel train scene?
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (zFzxj)

I 'think' that was the first one. I saw the first one, missed the next two, saw the Jeremy Renner one, and then the next, I think.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (ycWCI)

685 Hopefully Ms Bond will go around the world beating the "living daylights" out of larger, stronger men.

Posted by: Caliban at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (QE8X6)

686 Casino Royale with Cheese

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (v0R5T)

687 For Your Cramps Only.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (t6MX/)

688 Tomorrow Ever Dyes (aka Ancient Chinese Secret)

Set in South China sea and secret agent also works in families laundry.

Posted by: rhennigantx at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (JFO2v)

689 666 2 is one of the worst big budget movies ever made.

And it makes me question the sanity of anyone who holds up John Woo as some sort of quality filmmaker.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (VyAV0)

Is that the one with the Chunnel train scene?
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (zFzxj)

==========

You're probably thinking of the Brian de Palma first film.

The second has Thandie Newton, motorcycles, slow motion, Cruise with long hair, Anthony Hopkins for some reason, and birds (also in slow motion).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (VyAV0)

690 673 Mark Sanford Considers Challenging Donald Trump for President in 2020.


Sanford is ALWAYS claiming to be on the trail

Posted by: REDACTED at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (DPjeO)

691
673 Mark Sanford Considers Challenging Donald Trump for President in 2020.


He'll hike the length and breadth of the Appalachian Trail to secure votes! Amirite?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (3l5Yq)

692 What does the Horde think about the Mission Impossible movie franchise?







Tom Cruise 5'7" is not believable fighting and winning against equally trained 6'4" guys.



Size reach does matter.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (0v57o)

===
But Tom was totes believable as Jack Reacher. TOTES.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (pw+jk)

693 What does the Horde think about the Mission Impossible movie franchise?

Tom Cruise 5'7" is not believable fighting and winning against equally trained 6'4" guys.

Size & reach does matter.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (0v57o)


I used to hate Cruise but he grew on me. Now I watch whatever he does. But he's too old for Mission Impossible's action.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (vEIlU)

694 It's funny that the old Bond films used to be stock cable programming but I now cannot remember the last time I actually saw one.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama-Butcher at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (Jfw3E)

695 686 Casino Royale with Cheese
Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (v0R5T)

tff

Posted by: rhennigantx at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (JFO2v)

696 675 [I never was able to grok that particular line. It made no sense
whatsoever. I mean, I know that's a sci-fy/fantasy movie, but give me a
break.]

Anti-GWB, "Either you're with us or with the terrorists."

Posted by: davidt at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (jY3BZ)

Only republicans deal in generalities!

Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (p997d)

697 Yeah, I think Obi-Wan had better arrows in the quiver.

"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

"Anakin, you just killed like 40 kids in cold blood."

"....okay you have a point.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (oZ6kz)

698 M:I series:

1: Meh. Commits an act of sacrilege against the original series, and is merely okay apart from that.

2: Trash fire. Avoid.

3: Very good, put vitality and fun back into the series.

4: Widely claimed to be one of the best. But I think it's just okay, not as good as 3.

5: My favorite. I don't know how people are sayng this one is meh. THE STUNTS? The return of the Syndicate? Well, you have to have seen the show to appreciate that. I love this movie and just rewatched it on a friend's projecting tv with a huge sound system.

6: Second best, I think, just after 5, but many people think it's the best. I think it's almost the best, but not THE best.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (PbpT7)

699 What about characters?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (VyAV0)

I didn't pay for these fucking motorcycles and this helicopter to hide them behind some five foot six meatbag Scientologist. MORE PIGEONS!

Posted by: John Woo at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (U7voe)

700 What about characters?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (VyAV0)

Movie scenes are too dense for characters.

Posted by: George Lucas at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (u9hp4)

701 I tried as a kid but lost interest.

They were not written for children.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (HaL55)

702 683 Everyone hates the 70s, but the 60s were really incredibly cheesy too.
Posted by: Chris M at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (eAZVt)

===========

I thought everyone hated the 80s, but then Stranger Things came out.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (VyAV0)

703 Orders avocado toast and tweets about global warming from a private leer jet.

Posted by: Bond Goes Full Hollywood at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (Tw8cs)

704 US House considering finding AG Barr and commerce secretary Ross in contempt.

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (BbGew)

705 I really need to watch the Man from Uncle Remake. My mom was a huge fan of the series, so I caught a lot of bits and pieces of the original growing up.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:33 PM (ycWCI)



I'm a fan of the TV series and thought the movie was a big disappointment. The first season of the TV show was very well done if you are interested in it.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (mpeBU)

706 I like the MI franchise... heck, I like Cruise.... the little feller is a scrapper, and does a lot of his own stunts... kind of like a gymnast type....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (bCLt0)

707 They could remake Octopussy

Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (O0xvx)

708 I heard the new James Bond was asked to meet with George Papadapolis and get him to admit THE RUSSIANZ!!!!!!!! had hacked Hilldog's server. Then he fucked Marie Harf and Jen Palmieri at the same time. But even James couldn't do Val Jar.

Posted by: Bob Kraft at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (Jj+59)

709 Its pretty fucking obvious that Nancypants lied about clearing her words with the parlimentarian

Posted by: REDACTED at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (DPjeO)

710 You know what this scene needs? Slow motion. And a bunch of pigeons.
Posted by: John Woo at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (U7voe)

==========

What about characters?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (VyAV0)

You mean tits right?

Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (p997d)

711 Tom Cruise 5'7" is not believable fighting and winning against equally trained 6'4" guys.

Size & reach does matter.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:38 PM (0v57o)

Casting him as Jack Reacher was the worst.

Reacher is more a Danial Craig type, ie a big bruiser.

Posted by: Don Q. at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (NgKpN)

712
The Rhinestone-Encrusted Bedpan Conspiracy

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (3l5Yq)

713 >>>I used to hate Cruise but he grew on me. Now I watch whatever he does. But he's too old for Mission Impossible's action.


Not when we get done with him!

Posted by: Tom Cruise's personal CGI de-aging special effects artists at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (PbpT7)

714 bad guys all work for Speculum.

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (v0R5T)

715 Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (pw+jk)

Isn't Reacher huge in the books?

Posted by: John Woo at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (U7voe)

716 704 And a resolution finding President Trump's comments the other day racist.

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (BbGew)

717 US House considering finding AG Barr and commerce secretary Ross in contempt.
Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (BbGew)


Good for Barr and Ross. I hold congress in contempt too.

Posted by: DR.WTF at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (aS1PU)

718 They could remake Octopussy

Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (O0xvx)

I've got my eye on you.

Posted by: Octopus at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (q1Pj5)

719 >>>705 I really need to watch the Man from Uncle Remake. My mom was a huge fan of the series, so I caught a lot of bits and pieces of the original growing up.


it's so good

Henry Cavill's Napoleon Dynamite is such a mean near-sociopath, it's great

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (PbpT7)

720 Casino Royale has Eva Green.... she has mucho screen presence.....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (bCLt0)

721 The best part of Bond movies was always the opening scene. It usually went downhill from there.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (zFzxj)

722 Napoleon SOLO I meant!

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (PbpT7)

723 "It's funny that the old Bond films used to be stock cable programming"

I remember from college, there was always a Bond marathon right around finals week.

Posted by: Chris M at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (eAZVt)

724 707 They could remake Octopussy
Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (O0xvx)

How about "Octobutthole" ?

The Squad has them half way home

Posted by: REDACTED at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (DPjeO)

725 Goldfishfinger.
Posted by: Jethro Bodine, Double Naught Spy at July 16, 2019 02:56 PM (Vy7tf)


oy
reminds me of the girl selling her bath water and men buying it

then Gutfeld does a segment on it, bringing up a big bottle of water with a (real) dead fish in it

I don't think many people got that joke - and he wasn't about to push it...

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (vEIlU)

726 714
bad guys all work for Speculum.

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (v0R5T)

Henchmen are gynos with cold hands.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (t6MX/)

727 698 3: Very good, put vitality and fun back into the series.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (PbpT7)

==========

I always had a problem with 3.

It lies to the audience at the beginning, and that pisses me off.

The movie begins showing Hunt's fiance/wife dying at the hands of the bad guy. We then go back in time and watch the rest of the movie.

We then get to that scene which continues a bit more where we discover that the wife wasn't his wife, but someone else with a full mask on.

That always rubbed me the wrong way, much worse than it probably should. I haven't seen it since theaters, though, so maybe I'd simmer down a bit and actually enjoy it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (VyAV0)

728 Casting him as Jack Reacher was the worst.

Lee Child agrees. Last I heard he was developing a TV version for one of the cable networks, with a much more appropriate actor playing the lead.

I mean, c'mon man. Reacher's whole thing is that he's huge. Yeah, let's cast the shrimp Tom Cruise. It was like a bad joke.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (O8WFE)

729
709 Its pretty fucking obvious that Nancypants lied about clearing her words with the parlimentarian


She meant to say the "planarian". They can be two-headed, too.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (3l5Yq)

730 I don't like Matt Damon's politics but I did like the Borne Identity

Posted by: Archer at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (qcLbz)

731 the 80's were great, so were the 90's. In fact, nothing sucked until very recently. No humor. So sad.

Posted by: Bob Kraft at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (Jj+59)

732 Unless Bond's next mission is to spring me from the sickbay, no f@@ks given.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Nonservapunk at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (b4nES)

733 Heh, Cavill as Napoleon Dynamite.

Vote for Pedro!

PEDRO!?! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT NAME!?!?

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (oZ6kz)

734 699 What about characters?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (VyAV0)

I didn't pay for these fucking motorcycles and this helicopter to hide them behind some five foot six meatbag Scientologist. MORE PIGEONS!
Posted by: John Woo at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (U7voe)

==========

I suddenly love John Woo.

Not the real John Woo, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (VyAV0)

735 686 Casino Royale with Cheese
Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (v0R5T)

/Golf Clap.

But, wouldn't that be the David Niven version?

Posted by: Don Q. at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (NgKpN)

736 720
Casino Royale has Eva Green.... she has mucho screen presence.....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (bCLt0)

You'll put your eye out.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (t6MX/)

737 I thought everyone hated the 80s, but then Stranger Things came out.

Boomers hated the 80s. GenX and early-period Millenials love it.

I tried to get into Stranger Things, but there was like one plot happening in the first 4 hours. It's like every bad cliche about Netflix shows at once.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (ZGrMX)

738 What about characters?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:39 PM (VyAV0)

You mean tits right?
Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (p997d)

Tits can be good stand ins for characters, so yes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (ycWCI)

739 How about Matt Damon!! as an action hero??? People buy that pretty well, it seems....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (bCLt0)

740 They could remake Octopussy

Posted by: Axeman at July 16, 2019 03:41 PM (O0xvx)


2nd run at cinematic stardom? I'll do it.

Posted by: OctoMom at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (q1Pj5)

741 Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:40 PM (pw+jk)



Isn't Reacher huge in the books?

Posted by: John Woo at July 16, 2019 03:42 PM (U7voe)

===
A massive monster that scares three men off without throwing down. In one book, I forget which one he has been digging pools by hand in Ket West and bounces a .38 off of his peck.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (pw+jk)

742 The 70's was the second golden age of cinema.

Posted by: eleven at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (7wztW)

743
709 Its pretty fucking obvious that Nancypants lied about clearing her words with the parlimentarian.


Ochopussy. The "Ocho"!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (3l5Yq)

744 there's a part at the end of Man from UNCLE where Solo is trying to keep a woman on the radio for plot reasons, and resorts to telling her something like, "Your husband died like a coward. He cried and begged for his life. He offered you up eagerly. Do you want to know what he said?"

he has such a nasty smirk while he does this, you can tell he's enjoying being cruel to her. (Even though there is also mission-important reasons for keeping her on the radio.)

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (PbpT7)

745 I do very much miss "Get Smart". Funny, witty, well written and well cast.

As for the spy genre from the Cold War never got into it, particularly the Bond flicks. They were, frankly, stupid except for the Bond girls and the gadgets.

Now anybody can get nearly any gadget and babes are all over the internet.



Posted by: The Man from Athens at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (QMwOT)

746 I hate work.
Not letting me geek out in geek thread.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (bcbK8)

747 Isn't Reacher huge in the books?
Posted by: John Woo



6'5" Broad as an axe handle.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (0v57o)

748 But he's too old for Mission Impossible's action.

- - - -

This I think is going to be a major problem for the MI series.

After MI7, Cruise is just going to be old to do all his own stunts.

So do you kill off the character, recast the character, convince cruise to have a stunt double, or let 62+ year old Cruise go around acting like a 21 year old?

I have no idea what the best course of action for the franchise is.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (u9hp4)

749 Alternatively, Hollywood could mine Ludlum - Bourne movies are only tangentially related to the books.

Posted by: blaster at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (9VeU0)

750 728 Casting him as Jack Reacher was the worst.

Lee Child agrees. Last I heard he was developing a TV version for one of the cable networks, with a much more appropriate actor playing the lead.

I mean, c'mon man. Reacher's whole thing is that he's huge. Yeah, let's cast the shrimp Tom Cruise. It was like a bad joke.
Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (O8WFE)

Yeah, its like Starship Troopers with no Powered Armor.

Posted by: Don Q. at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (NgKpN)

751 Confirmed, 56-40: Executive Calendar #362 Peter Joseph Phipps to be U.S. Circuit Judge for the Third Circuit

Posted by: Ha at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (MAstk)

752 I should do a remake of Downfall where Adolf Hitler is played by Leslie Jones.

I wonder how the NPCs would react. Maybe they'd all short-circuit.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (AzW6q)

753 722 Napoleon SOLO I meant!
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (PbpT7)


Mezuzah I was wondering there for awhile.

Posted by: Bond Goes Full Hollywood at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (Tw8cs)

754 I used to hate Cruise but he grew on me. Now I watch whatever he does. But he's too old for Mission Impossible's action.

I grew to really like Keanu Reeves. The Matrix was pretty good, but before that, he was just average. Nowadays, I'll watch any movie he's in because he knows how to pick a good script, like Jeff Bridges and Kurt Russell.

And KR does a lot of his own stunts like Cruise does. And Cruz can pick a pretty good script occasionally, like the sci-fi movies he's done.

Outside of that small gang, I can't think of any other Hollyweird actors I care to see at all.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (HaL55)

755 Jack Reacher is a sociopath, at least.... entertaining as all get out though...

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (bCLt0)

756 742 The 70's was the second golden age of cinema.
Posted by: eleven at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (7wztW)

===========

I'll take the 50s. Bergman, Truffaut, Kurosawa, Fellini, Wilder...

All at their height.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (VyAV0)

757 744 there's a part at the end of Man from UNCLE where Solo is trying to keep a woman on the radio for plot reasons, and resorts to telling her something like, "Your husband died like a coward. He cried and begged for his life. He offered you up eagerly. Do you want to know what he said?"

he has such a nasty smirk while he does this, you can tell he's enjoying being cruel to her. (Even though there is also mission-important reasons for keeping her on the radio.)
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:45 PM (PbpT7)

It's not a perfect movie, but it's so, so much better than almost every Bond movie.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (bcbK8)

758 704, 706 House has nothing better to do than censure Trump and his Cabinet?. Those elitist fools have nothing positive to offer the Americans who don't hate Trump.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (+0VWg)

759 Daniel Craig Bond seeking revenge was pretty much already done in Quantum of Solace. That movie was terrible. Even Olga Kurylenko as the worst Bond Girl of all time (even more than Denise Richards) couldn't save it.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (BRpqW)

760 Reacher is more a Danial Craig type, ie a big bruiser.
Posted by: Don Q.



Dave Bautista/The Rock size.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (0v57o)

761 The Moore Bond sucked.

Posted by: eleven at July 16, 2019 03:27 PM (7wztW)

I agree. Bond was a self-made man. Roger Moore did not have the acting chops to NOT come across as an aristocratic dandy with a steel rod up his ass. Plus, he had no comedic timing. Sean Connery was a master at that and Moore just came across with, "See, I'm a fun guy, too!".

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (m79Dg)

762 It appears to me that our most modern James Bond, set to fit modern audiences, is John Wick.

thin backstory, little dialogue, even less plot, no morality, no justification, barely a cursory explanation, just bam bam bam! I'm John Wick, I just killed 50 people! Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm John Wick, I just got my ass kicked! Bam! Bam! Bam! Oh! Now I killed 100 people real fast! The End!

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (Kpl3J)

763 It wasn't too hard to see (for me anyways) that Lucas had no story ready for TESB and was just making it up as he went along. He said there were 12 stories in total to the Star Wars series. Right George, I believe you...*massive eyeroll thingy*
Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (HaL55)

The prequels make me sure Lucas had little to do with the writing of the orignal trilogy.

And I never believed the tales told about hpw he had everything plotted out. No way he originally thought Vader was Lukes father or Leia his sister in the first Movie. It contradicts much of what Obi Wan says about him and makes the triangle romance angle icky.

Posted by: Oldcat at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (FTPn0)

764 Dr. No I Have a Headache

Posted by: Harry Reid at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (q177U)

765 752 I should do a remake of Downfall where Adolf Hitler is played by Leslie Jones.

I wonder how the NPCs would react. Maybe they'd all short-circuit.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (AzW6q)

========

No kidding:

Downfall is great. One of the great WWII movies.

It saddens me that it's become little more than a meme.

It's just so great.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (VyAV0)

766 Golddigger

Posted by: Harry Reid at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (q177U)

767 (even more than Denise Richards)

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (BRpqW)

Fight me.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (t6MX/)

768 I wonder how the NPCs would react. Maybe they'd all short-circuit.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (AzW6q)

These women will stay. Ocasio, Omar, Tlaib, and Pelosi.

Posted by: Adolpha Hitler at July 16, 2019 03:48 PM (U7voe)

769 >>Lee Child agrees. Last I heard he was developing a TV version for one of the cable networks, with a much more appropriate actor playing the lead.

>>I mean, c'mon man. Reacher's whole thing is that he's huge. Yeah, let's cast the shrimp Tom Cruise. It was like a bad joke.

A guy like Armie Hammer would have been a much better choice.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:48 PM (K/2j/)

770 Starz runs the Bond films on its channels pretty much 24-7. There is always one on.

Posted by: blaster at July 16, 2019 03:48 PM (9VeU0)

771 So, you say they are restarting the Bond films, much in the mold of Ghostbusters ?

Posted by: SMOD at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (QkjLD)

772 Boomers hated the 80s.



20% interest rates tends to do that.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (0v57o)

773 Hey size does. not. matter. Don't you know any 100 pound fightin' girrl can kick any big henchman's butt???

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (bCLt0)

774 763 It wasn't too hard to see (for me anyways) that Lucas had no story ready for TESB and was just making it up as he went along. He said there were 12 stories in total to the Star Wars series. Right George, I believe you...*massive eyeroll thingy*
Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (HaL55)

The prequels make me sure Lucas had little to do with the writing of the orignal trilogy.

And I never believed the tales told about hpw he had everything plotted out. No way he originally thought Vader was Lukes father or Leia his sister in the first Movie. It contradicts much of what Obi Wan says about him and makes the triangle romance angle icky.
Posted by: Oldcat at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (FTPn0)

===========

Gary Kurtz had A LOT to do with the early success of Star Wars.

So did Lucas' then wife, who saved the ending to A New Hope in editing.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (VyAV0)

775 Dennis Prager was supposed to be on C-Span 3 but they are stuck on Census bureau crap.

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (BbGew)

776
Downfall is great. One of the great WWII movies.

--------

Oh yeah. Macabre.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (AzW6q)

777 Boomers hated the 80s. GenX and early-period Millenials love it.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 16, 2019 03:44 PM (ZGrMX)

The 80s was a great time to be a kid. It was something like a return to normalcy for America, wedged between the craziness of disco and Carter, and the decadence of hip hop and Clinton...

So of course the Boomers hated it, and dearly wanted to put a stop to it.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (J+mig)

778 The end of the cafe scene in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. was hilarious.

Posted by: davidt at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (jY3BZ)

779 So did Lucas' then wife, who saved the ending to A New Hope in editing.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (VyAV0)

What was the original ending?

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (u9hp4)

780 Mitch McConnell takes comments about Trump's death threats to everyone who isn't white

Posted by: CNN Chryon at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (37IEG)

781
Tom Cruise 5'7" is not believable fighting and winning against equally trained 6'4" guys.
=====
everyone in Tom Cruise movies is 5'2 to 5'8. They design the set furniture, door heights and counter tops to make him and all the other midgets look taller. Once you realize that, every movie he is in is unwatchable. well, plus, I hate him.

Posted by: simplemind at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (5aPVF)

782 And the thread
Cries
"Willow"

/seriously it's dead

Posted by: Jimmie Hendrix at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (yzA6K)

783 >>I'll take the 50s. Bergman, Truffaut, Kurosawa, Fellini, Wilder... All at their height


Umm...okay!

Anybody for a nice BERGMAN marathon? I'll bring the razor blades.

Posted by: Caliban at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (QE8X6)

784 779 So did Lucas' then wife, who saved the ending to A New Hope in editing.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (VyAV0)

What was the original ending?
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (u9hp4)

==========

There was only one trench run, and it was apparently kind of boring.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (VyAV0)

785 Even Olga Kurylenko as the worst Bond Girl of all time (even more than Denise Richards) couldn't save it.
Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (BRpqW)

Denise Richards at least had a personality and looked like she could be fun in the sack. Kurylenko looked like a lobotomy patient.

Posted by: Adolpha Hitler at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (U7voe)

786 I agree. Bond was a self-made man. Roger Moore did not have the acting chops to NOT come across as an aristocratic dandy with a steel rod up his ass. Plus, he had no comedic timing. Sean Connery was a master at that and Moore just came across with, "See, I'm a fun guy, too!".

Moore was good for the first film or two, after that he just didn't work. The last few Moore Bonds were a low point.

Dalton was very good, probably the 'purest' of the Bonds.

Posted by: JEM at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (8erNz)

787 Reacher is more a Danial Craig type, ie a big bruiser.

Posted by: Don Q.

===
I thought Dolph Lundgren would be good but age.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (pw+jk)

788 I grew to really like Keanu Reeves. The Matrix was pretty good, but before that, he was just average. Nowadays, I'll watch any movie he's in because he knows how to pick a good script, like Jeff Bridges and Kurt Russell.

And KR does a lot of his own stunts like Cruise does. And Cruz can pick a pretty good script occasionally, like the sci-fi movies he's done.

Outside of that small gang, I can't think of any other Hollyweird actors I care to see at all.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy


Mel Gibson.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (0v57o)

789 oh, just to clarify:

The villainness Solo is taunting in Man from UNCLE is a Nazi and a torture-enthusiast who tried to kill Solo and his allies. It's not like he picked out some rando to torment.

It's also suggested that she is part of the confederation of ex-nazis who will form THRUSH

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (PbpT7)

790 This thread is the undead.... the Undead Thread.....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (bCLt0)

791 Reacher is more a Danial Craig type, ie a big bruiser.

Posted by: Don Q.

===
I thought Dolph Lundgren would be good but age.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable


20 to 30 years ago, dead spot on.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 03:51 PM (0v57o)

792 783 >>I'll take the 50s. Bergman, Truffaut, Kurosawa, Fellini, Wilder... All at their height


Umm...okay!

Anybody for a nice BERGMAN marathon? I'll bring the razor blades.
Posted by: Caliban at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (QE8X6)

===========

I just watched movie 30 of 39 (well, 40 if you could The Making of Fanny and Alexander). The Touch. It was good, though not quite great.

Next is The Serpent's Egg, which is apparently terrible. And then it's Persona, which I haven't seen in more than a decade.

I'm having a great time.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:51 PM (VyAV0)

793 How about a muslim pakistani women in hajib?

Posted by: raimondo at July 16, 2019 03:51 PM (HngUd)

794 In the Goldfinger novel, Pussy Galore is a lesbian (a fact perhaps only obliquely hinted at in the movie) who os the leader of a powerful gang of lesbians. Naturally, she initially resists Bond's charms, but, being a mere woman, succumbs to him eventually.

Imagine the SJW reaction to Bond seducing a lesbian in a movie today. That would be great.

Posted by: I Work for Dick Jones at July 16, 2019 03:51 PM (Q7MNX)

795 Casting him as Jack Reacher was the worst.

Lee Child agrees. Last I heard he was developing a TV version for one of the cable networks, with a much more appropriate actor playing the lead.

I mean, c'mon man. Reacher's whole thing is that he's huge. Yeah, let's cast the shrimp Tom Cruise. It was like a bad joke.
Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:43 PM (O8WFE

That's why I haven't even attempted to watch American Assassin. The casting sucked big time in my opinion.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 16, 2019 03:51 PM (zFzxj)

796 I will give Keanu Reeves an upvote... what he does, he does very well....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (bCLt0)

797 Missed it by **that** much!

Posted by: The Man from Athens at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (QMwOT)

798 I thought Rosamund Pike was quite fetching in Jack Reacher.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (ycWCI)

799 789 oh, just to clarify:

The villainness Solo is taunting in Man from UNCLE is a Nazi and a torture-enthusiast who tried to kill Solo and his allies. It's not like he picked out some rando to torment.

It's also suggested that she is part of the confederation of ex-nazis who will form THRUSH
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (PbpT7)

==========

It's one of those weird coincidences in movies, but she reminded me a lot of the White Widow from Fallout.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (VyAV0)

800 763 It wasn't too hard to see (for me anyways) that Lucas had no story ready for TESB and was just making it up as he went along. He said there were 12 stories in total to the Star Wars series. Right George, I believe you...*massive eyeroll thingy*
Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (HaL55)

The prequels make me sure Lucas had little to do with the writing of the orignal trilogy.

And I never believed the tales told about hpw he had everything plotted out. No way he originally thought Vader was Lukes father or Leia his sister in the first Movie. It contradicts much of what Obi Wan says about him and makes the triangle romance angle icky.
Posted by: Oldcat at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (FTPn0)

Episode IV was pretty much written by Alan Dean Foster. They should have kept him on.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (RD7QR)

801 >>>What was the original ending?
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (u9hp4)

==========

There was only one trench run, and it was apparently kind of boring.

NOT JUST THAT!!!!

In the original version, The Death Star was NOWHERE NEAR YAVIN, and in fact not even on the way to Yavin.

She cut it, and added some voice-over and insert shots, to make an ending where the Death Star was just about to blow up the Rebel Base at Yavin, so it was kill or be killed.

Believe it or not, that was not in the original script nor the original cut in the movie.

Seems remarkable, but there you go.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (PbpT7)

802 774 763 It wasn't too hard to see (for me anyways) that Lucas had no story ready for TESB and was just making it up as he went along. He said there were 12 stories in total to the Star Wars series. Right George, I believe you...*massive eyeroll thingy*
Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:36 PM (HaL55)

The prequels make me sure Lucas had little to do with the writing of the orignal trilogy.

And I never believed the tales told about hpw he had everything plotted out. No way he originally thought Vader was Lukes father or Leia his sister in the first Movie. It contradicts much of what Obi Wan says about him and makes the triangle romance angle icky.
Posted by: Oldcat at July 16, 2019 03:47 PM (FTPn0)

===========

Gary Kurtz had A LOT to do with the early success of Star Wars.

So did Lucas' then wife, who saved the ending to A New Hope in editing.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (VyAV0)

Depending on his writing style it may be true that he had things planned out. It just wasn't internally consistent and he just swapped things out and tried to shore things up as it went along.

Posted by: Someguy at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (p997d)

803 Dead? We're no where near 1K

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (BbGew)

804 Denise Richards at least had a personality and
looked like she could be fun in the sack. Kurylenko looked like a
lobotomy patient.

Posted by: Adolpha Hitler at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (U7voe)

TBF, it was not Richards fault that she was cast as a nuculer sciencytist. The whole movie lacked any ability to have you suspend disbelief.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (t6MX/)

805 Umm...okay!

Anybody for a nice BERGMAN marathon? I'll bring the razor blades.
Posted by: Caliban at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (QE8X6)

*golfclap*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (ycWCI)

806 The cinematic Bond lost its edge and character for me after "From Russia With Love." We need a return to the roots, maybe a black and white period piece Bond, from the late 50s, early 60s. Bond was never intended to be a preternaturally suave superhero.

Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (H8QX8)

807 803 Dead? We're no where near 1K
Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (BbGew)

========

Weekday movie threads put the weekend movie threads to shame.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (VyAV0)

808 Not Found (x2)

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (AzW6q)

809 Of course, there's no way today's Hollywood would ever do a story like this. They'd have to shoehorn in the sex, and they'd have to have a lecture about old white men. My only point is that it is possible to tell a good story with a female 00 agent.
Posted by: Mrs. Peel

Shoehorn sex !

Kinky

Posted by: JT at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (arJlL)

810 Name is Bond. Lakeesha Bond.

Posted by: Sooner at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (Fs5vw)

811 798 I thought Rosamund Pike was quite fetching in Jack Reacher.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (ycWCI)


She has a.... strange... allure.... weird vibe, that... " Gone Girl"... she was just.... hard to describe...

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (bCLt0)

812 I hope they have ScarJo play 007 in Blackface, and she is a lesbian who was born without arms or legs so she is stuck in a wheelchair like Stephen Hawking, and she moonlights as an AntiFa activist.

Posted by: Sharkman at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (NoKAc)

813 Reacher would have been played by either Fess Parker, or Chuck Conner.


Back in the day.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (cqNba)

814 No idea why the House of representatives is wanting the Vampiric Pelosi's comments to be struck from the record.

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (BbGew)

815 Kurylenko was good in Death of Stalin.

One of my few complaints about that movie is that she didn't get more screen time.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (AzW6q)

816 613
I really need to watch the Man from Uncle Remake. My mom was a huge fan
of the series, so I caught a lot of bits and pieces of the original
growing up.



Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019

*
*
. . .
The Guy Ritchie film is definitely worth your time. Try a few of the original B W episodes from 1964-65; they're on Dailymotion.

As for whether the original Bond novels are worth reading, they are definitely very good period pieces with hints of noir here and there. Nobody did an action scene better than Fleming, and if you like a tinge of sadism (cf. the testicle torture scene in Casino Royale), you'll like that too.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (ClOmq)

817 Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (VyAV0)
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (PbpT7)

So Lucas was trying to Prequel the OT?

Talk about a man tripping into billions of dollars.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (u9hp4)

818 811 798 I thought Rosamund Pike was quite fetching in Jack Reacher.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (ycWCI)


She has a.... strange... allure.... weird vibe, that... " Gone Girl"... she was just.... hard to describe...
Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (bCLt0)

=========

Don't cross her. Get and keep a job. Don't smile at her funeral when she's watching on TV.

Then you should be fine.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (VyAV0)

819 So will Big Mooch play Oddjob... or Jaws?

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (v0R5T)

820 Kurylenko was good in Death of Stalin.

One of my few complaints about that movie is that she didn't get more screen time.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (AzW6q)

What this guy said.

Posted by: Adolpha Hitler at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (U7voe)

821 She has a.... strange... allure.... weird vibe, that... " Gone Girl"... she was just.... hard to describe...
Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (bCLt0)

I did not see Gone Girl. Honestly, that seemed like a movie for all dudes to avoid unless it was a Gotta situation.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (ycWCI)

822 I thought Rosamund Pike was quite fetching in Jack Reacher.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (ycWCI)


DuckDuckGo search reveals she's gone through several different faces.

Posted by: Sponge at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (Zz0t1)

823 Yeh, Mel Gibson. Thanks for that reminder. He's good too.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (HaL55)

824 817 Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:49 PM (VyAV0)
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (PbpT7)

So Lucas was trying to Prequel the OT?

Talk about a man tripping into billions of dollars.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (u9hp4)

========

Pretty much.

He and Gene Roddenberry floated on other people's success for very long times (Gene Coons had more to do with the things we love about Star Trek TOS than Roddenberry).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (VyAV0)

825 Lawn Raker.


Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader Pants Monitor at July 16, 2019 02:54 PM (wo+B3)

Sammich Maker.

lawn raker, sammich maker, heartbreaker, take the shoehorn like a man !

Posted by: JT at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (arJlL)

826 >>>Believe it or not, that was not in the original script nor the original cut in the movie.


WUT?

Posted by: Harry Reid at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (q177U)

827 I like the black Moneypenny

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (BbGew)

828 50
The working title is Septapussy

Posted by: Roy at July 16, 2019 02:42 PM (/RckA)

"We will torture Bond and learn her secrets.""But Jane Bond is so butch, she can resist anything, Septapussy."

Posted by: Pennsyltucky at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (tV4uu)

829 In the Goldfinger novel, Pussy Galore is a lesbian (a fact perhaps only obliquely hinted at in the movie) who os the leader of a powerful gang of lesbians. Naturally, she initially resists Bond's charms, but, being a mere woman, succumbs to him eventually.

Imagine the SJW reaction to Bond seducing a lesbian in a movie today. That would be great.
Posted by: I Work for Dick Jones

.................

yeah... Ian Fleming once wrote to someone that Bond was the man PG needed to "cure her" of her psychological malady.

That would go over really big today!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (so+oy)

830 821 She has a.... strange... allure.... weird vibe, that... " Gone Girl"... she was just.... hard to describe...
Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (bCLt0)

I did not see Gone Girl. Honestly, that seemed like a movie for all dudes to avoid unless it was a Gotta situation.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (ycWCI)

Actually, no.... move was worth a watch.... NOT flattering to the wimminz, at all....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (bCLt0)

831 Tom Cruise? pffft
John Travolta in: The Guy Who Loved Me

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (v0R5T)

832 No idea why the House of representatives is wanting the Vampiric Pelosi's comments to be struck from the record.
Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (BbGew)

Was her comment "Ai, Ai, Cthulhu f'tagn!"?

Posted by: Adolpha Hitler at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (U7voe)

833 Pretty much.

He and Gene Roddenberry floated on other people's success for very long times (Gene Coons had more to do with the things we love about Star Trek TOS than Roddenberry).
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (VyAV0)

Well, considering everything that is beloved about TOS were things that Roddenberry actively hated, yeah.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (ycWCI)

834 811 798 I thought Rosamund Pike was quite fetching in Jack Reacher.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:52 PM (ycWCI)

How is she as an actress?

Normally I don't care an iota about actors and actresses, but she just got cast as one of the main characters in one of my favorite book series ever (Wheel of Time.)

I'm already worried they're going to SJW the story, so I'm hoping whoever they get to play the parts at least can carry a story.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (u9hp4)

835 Jack Reacher is a sociopath, at least.... entertaining as all get out though...
Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (bCLt0)


Cruise's character in Collateral as a hit man was pretty cool. I know it didn't get too much recognition - at least I don't think it did, but it was more like a study in Cruise's acting for me. Strange part. You can tell he really tries to be a perfectionist with his characters.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (vEIlU)

836 830 821 She has a.... strange... allure.... weird vibe, that... " Gone Girl"... she was just.... hard to describe...
Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:53 PM (bCLt0)

I did not see Gone Girl. Honestly, that seemed like a movie for all dudes to avoid unless it was a Gotta situation.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:55 PM (ycWCI)

Actually, no.... move was worth a watch.... NOT flattering to the wimminz, at all....
Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (bCLt0)

=========

I've seen it twice with Dolley.

I'm still alive.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (VyAV0)

837 I pretty much hate the Jack Reacher books.

The writer is a Brit stoner who knows little to nothing about the US military and has no interest in researching.

It's literally nothing but an excuse to have Jack Reacher/the author kill a bunch of white guys.

It's shit. Vince Flynn is much better. Hell, morons here have better books.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (bcbK8)

838 Off tranny Hitler sock

Posted by: Vanya at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (U7voe)

839 Moore was good for the first film or two, after that he just didn't work. The last few Moore Bonds were a low point.

Dalton was very good, probably the 'purest' of the Bonds.
Posted by: JEM at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (8erNz)



For Your Eyes Only was good because they knocked off the over the top stuff and dealt with a decent Cold War type story. Except the end with Bond destroying the ATAC. He should have beaten Gogol to death with it and taken it back to Britain

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (kw5n8)

840 Anna Puma -

Got my ticket, now I'll just sit back and wait for the dough to come rolling in !

Posted by: JT at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (arJlL)

841 I hate the James Bond movies now so this isn't fanboy stuff; I'd kind of love it if they did just set fire to the IP, like they've set fire to Star Wars, Doctor Who, Ghostbusters, etc.

Burn it all up.

But I think this is a fake-out.


I am in the same boat. I don't like Bond any more and don't care (although I like the older films still) but while this will seriously damage the franchise, they won't give up on it.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (39g3+)

842 Mark Sanford's trophy wife looks expensive. Guess he's running for POTUS to grift some of that sweet, sweet NeverTrump cash.

Bet Charlie "Three-Wives" Sykes approves.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (O8WFE)

843 Go back to where you came from 007!

Posted by: Donnie_Twoscoops at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (37IEG)

844 Imagine the SJW reaction to Bond seducing a lesbian in a movie today. That would be great.

There are few states in the former united States that have already criminalized "Gay Conversion Therapy"

Some SJW would argue that Bond would be committing that crime.

Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (lD3vL)

845 Rosamund Pike was perfectly cast in Pride and Prejudice.

Posted by: IC at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (a0IVu)

846 I think he's a poor actor but I always picture Jack Reacher looking kinda like Dolph Lundgren.

Posted by: Harry Reid at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (q177U)

847 It's also suggested that she is part of the confederation of ex-nazis who will form THRUSH
Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 03:50 PM (PbpT7)


Named after a yeast infection.

Posted by: Confucius Crossing the Complainant at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (Tw8cs)

848 I grew to really like Keanu Reeves. The Matrix was pretty good, but before that, he was just average. Nowadays, I'll watch any movie he's in because he knows how to pick a good script, like Jeff Bridges and Kurt Russell.

And KR does a lot of his own stunts like Cruise does. And Cruz can pick a pretty good script occasionally, like the sci-fi movies he's done.

Outside of that small gang, I can't think of any other Hollyweird actors I care to see at all.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (HaL55)


same
but he's also a very strange looking and sounding guy, so it adds a few points to the intrigue

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (vEIlU)

849 No idea why the House of representatives is wanting the Vampiric Pelosi's comments to be struck from the record.
======
Prelude to a kill.

Posted by: Should've been a bond movie title for 100 at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (5aPVF)

850 Put the black woman in a wig and call her Jane Blond. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Posted by: An Observation at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (hLHKL)

851 798 I thought Rosamund Pike was quite fetching in Jack Reacher.
Posted by: Aetius451AD
...........

what a rack!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (so+oy)

852 840 comments on the black 007 thread.

Does this prove of disprove David French's thesis about native-borns.

Shane

Posted by: SH at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (sX1BW)

853 Normally I don't care an iota about actors and actresses, but she just got cast as one of the main characters in one of my favorite book series ever (Wheel of Time.)

I'm already worried they're going to SJW the story, so I'm hoping whoever they get to play the parts at least can carry a story.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (u9hp4)

Her in WOT? Who in the hell did they cast her as?!? She is a bit too old for most of the female leads... Moiraine? She is supposed to be a tiny brunette though.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (ycWCI)

854 Moore was the worst, Moonraker the worst of the worst

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (BbGew)

855 832
No idea why the House of representatives is wanting the Vampiric Pelosi's comments to be struck from the record.

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 03:54 PM (BbGew)



Bad form to call the President a racist by actually saying he made racist comments.

Posted by: Donnie_Twoscoops at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (37IEG)

856 Bond movies have just morphed into another action movie. They don't have "it" anymore.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (1ISKN)

857 Her in WOT? Who in the hell did they cast her as?!? She is a bit too old for most of the female leads... Moiraine? She is supposed to be a tiny brunette though.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (ycWCI)

Yep, Moraine.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (u9hp4)

858 Crabladder of Solace

Posted by: wth at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (v0R5T)

859 But you know how the UK is now -- it's like 20% worse than America. So every male hero has to be gender-swapped to female, and the British media will attack you until you give in.


It's way worse than "20%" worse than America. I'd say more like 200% worse.

They recently re-designed the 50-pound note, and not only did they solicit the public's opinion as to who be be on the note, but the government actually vowed to obey the "public will," and then even worse proceeded to instruct the public to ONLY nominate minorities for honoring with a portrait on the note.

So, from the very get-go, it's wasn't a matter of "whether or not" there would be a minority, it was a matter of WHICH MINORITY GRIEVANCE SUB-GROUP HAD THE MOST VOCAL SUPPORTERS and thus win the voting to get their chosen minority on the note.

In the end, they gays won, as they nominated Alan Turing NOT because he broke the Enigma Code and helped win WWII but SOLELY because he was arrested for sodomizing a teenager. So, the new 50-pound note will have Alan Turning - -which, it turns out, was the BEST possible option. Why? Because Alan Turing authentically was a patriot and a genius, totally aside from his irrelevant side hobbies of boinking boys in the butt. But the OTHER 500 nominees for inclusion on the note, including the ones ont he short list, were almost all PATENTLY ABSURD and completely outrageous, insulting and (in most cases) irrelevant and mystifying. Obscure dark-skinned Sri Lankan cricketeers, untalented feminist novelists, Jamaican union organizers, etc. etc. etc. Compared to literally every other nominee, Alan Turing was a shining star of relevance and normalcy.

Anyway, short version: England is boned.

Posted by: zombie at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (oFcdC)

860 I thought Rosamund Pike was quite fetching in Jack Reacher.

Same here. Strange vibe was noticed, but would definitely do. Definitely.


Too bad she's an SJW/feminazi.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #Progressivism=Socialism at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (HaL55)

861 851 798 I thought Rosamund Pike was quite fetching in Jack Reacher.
Posted by: Aetius451AD
...........

what a rack!
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (so+oy)

And Jerry picks out the hook.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (ycWCI)

862 The new gay James Bond will feature a villain who is a cross between Blofeld and Oddjob named Blo-job.

#ReallyOldJokeICan'tBelieveHasn'tAppearedOnThisThread

Posted by: I Work for Dick Jones at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (Q7MNX)

863
The Lawrence of Arabia remake will star Jennifer Lawrence for some reason.

Posted by: YIKES! at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (t6XCL)

864 835 Jack Reacher is a sociopath, at least.... entertaining as all get out though...
Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 03:46 PM (bCLt0)

Cruise's character in Collateral as a hit man was pretty cool. I know it didn't get too much recognition - at least I don't think it did, but it was more like a study in Cruise's acting for me. Strange part. You can tell he really tries to be a perfectionist with his characters.
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (vEIlU)

I like Collateral, up until the final act.

Cruise gives every movie 100%. I respect that. He does the work.

He might like getting reamed by rent boys but as an actor, he's grown on me.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (bcbK8)

865 I pretty much hate the Jack Reacher books.

A couple of them are entertaining but he rapidly becomes dull because he's too smart, too strong, too fast, too tough, too deadly, and too knowledgeable. And EVERY SINGLE WOMAN i the same super competent uber grrl who naturally falls for the perfect man.

Just gets dull after a while.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (39g3+)

866 It's shit. Vince Flynn is much better. Hell, morons here have better books.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 03:57 PM (bcbK

I like both the Reacher books and the Flynn books that he actually wrote (the ones written now under his name suck.) Sue me.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (O8WFE)

867 " Austen Powers" was actually the best Bond....

Posted by: kraken at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (bCLt0)

868 Nood polls.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (gC2IV)

869 I hope the new Bond car can parallel park itself.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (1ISKN)

870 Does this prove of disprove David French's thesis about native-borns.

Shane
Posted by: SH at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (sX1BW)

-------

Most people here are native born. Most people here vote for Trump. So. yes. That is, after all, French's real rationale...

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (AzW6q)

871 Looks like Liz Claymon has been eating a few biscuits.

Posted by: Sooner at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (Fs5vw)

872
Anyway, short version: England is boned.

Posted by: zombie at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (oFcdC)
Did Alan Turing do that?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (37IEG)

873 Sean Connery is James Bond. Period. All the others suck, some more than others, some a lot more than others (lookin' at you, Roger Moore).

Posted by: Iowa Bob at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (tu3iY)

874 863
The Lawrence of Arabia remake will star Jennifer Lawrence for some reason.
Posted by: YIKES! at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (t6XCL)

==========

She will drop out when some black actress complains on Twitter that she stole the role from her.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (VyAV0)

875 Le NOOD

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (cqNba)

876 I am in the same boat. I don't like Bond any more and don't care (although I like the older films still) but while this will seriously damage the franchise, they won't give up on it.

They pretty much killed the whole genre.

Bond, Bourne, Jack Ryan, Mission Impossible etc. The idea that the government created a super human, morally flexible man who could take down entire global criminal enterprises has pretty much worn out.

We have George Soros still kicking around. Isn't he the greatest super villain ?

Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (lD3vL)

877 Reacher would have been played by either Fess Parker, or Chuck Conner.


Back in the day.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice



James Arness

Posted by: rickb223 at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (0v57o)

878 American Assassin was bad, the lead didn't look like a killer. I would have rather had seen Keaton as the lead he looked like a killer.

Kingsman

Whatever Olympus had fallen/London has Fallen sequel

John Wick

I like violence with a little story thrown in.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (af79C)

879 Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (39g3+)

I did get a big laugh (pretty sure that's what Child intended) when the object of Reacher's lust in one book turned out to be a lesbian. No nooky in that book.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (O8WFE)

880 I like Collateral, up until the final act.



Cruise gives every movie 100%. I respect that. He does the work.



He might like getting reamed by rent boys but as an actor, he's grown on me.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:00 PM (bcbK

Tropic Thunder was one of the best Cruise parts ever.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (t6MX/)

881 @591 Thank you, Molly, for that very pop-culturally literate reference. It is very important in this story line. Also, damned important in understanding German thinking about the US a century or so back.


Another lost story line: Fleming wrote a story of a very young Bond, who seemed very much like a very young Fleming, camping out on the low, sandy islands that have a view of where the Kiel ship canal empties into the North Sea. It is the same spot made famous in "Riddle of The Sands," which illustrates Adm Jacky Fisher's theory of the inevitable dreadnought armageddon. You could reboot the living hell out of Bond by going back that far.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (8ZmvG)

882 Yep, Moraine.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (u9hp4)

What the hell, did they cast Cruz as Rand?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (ycWCI)

883 yeah... Ian Fleming once wrote to someone that Bond was the man PG needed to "cure her" of her psychological malady.

That would go over really big today!
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 16, 2019 03:56 PM (so+oy)



I think the story was she was molested as a child and hated men as a result but the 007 schlong gave her a whole new outlook on life

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (kw5n8)

884 I grew to really like Keanu Reeves. The Matrix was pretty good, but before that, he was just average.

Hardly. Keanu Reeves had done a ton of good parts long before The Matrix - Pooint Break, Bill and Ted's, River's Edge, I Love You To Death, ... - which pretty much sucked donkey shlong.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (6fsOH)

885 I mean, c'mon man. Reacher's whole thing is that he's huge. Yeah, let's cast the shrimp Tom Cruise. It was like a bad joke.

A guy like Armie Hammer would have been a much better choice.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2019 03:48 PM (K/2j/)


camera angles and disproportional props

whenever I watch cruise I think they shrunk the props for him, gave him a platform to stand on off camera, and shoot from angles to make him look taller than he is

never put him next to tall people, or hidden platform next to the women if they didn't match him up with a short woman

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 16, 2019 04:02 PM (vEIlU)

886 The 80s was a great time to be a kid. It was something like a return to normalcy for America, wedged between the craziness of disco and Carter, and the decadence of hip hop and Clinton...

Yup. Ronaldus Magnus large and in charge, the libs losing their shit because he was destroying their precious USSR, great TV, great classic movies, and great music. And malls worth going to.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 16, 2019 04:02 PM (ZGrMX)

887 "James Arness"

That would work as well.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 16, 2019 04:02 PM (cqNba)

888 Sacrilege to remake Lawrence of Arabia

Posted by: Skip at July 16, 2019 04:02 PM (BbGew)

889 Collateral

Best scene from that movie, particularly the music.

https://youtu.be/d9_n6wwkIHM

Posted by: Confucius Crossing the Complainant at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (Tw8cs)

890 Was her comment "Ai, Ai, Cthulhu f'tagn!"?
Posted by: Adolpha Hitler



Mien Fuhrer...Steiner....

Posted by: eleven at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (7wztW)

891 The Spy who Gave me the Clap !

Posted by: JT at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (arJlL)

892 Bond movies have just morphed into another action movie. They don't have "it" anymore.

I agree. They don't lead, they are just tired followers. Bond isn't even very interesting as Craig.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (39g3+)

893 We have George Soros still kicking around. Isn't he the greatest super villain ?
Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at

I want him to contract some nasty respritory rickettsia from his fluffy white cat

Posted by: Jean at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (Z4A/k)

894 What the hell, did they cast Cruz as Rand?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:01 PM (ycWCI)

Ha!

But I would not be surprised at all if Jordan's fantastic characters became a collection SJW grievance groups.

I hope someone in the tv show's production knows what they're doing, but I'm doubtful.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (u9hp4)

895 what a rack!
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 16, 2019 03:58 PM (so+oy)

And Jerry picks out the hook.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

..............

lol.. not to be crude.. (oops too late) but every scene she was in.. your eyes got glued to that rack of hers.. it was mesmerizing!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (so+oy)

896 744 there's a part at the end of Man from UNCLE where Solo is trying to
keep a woman on the radio for plot reasons, and resorts to telling her
something like, "Your husband died like a coward. He cried and begged
for his life. He offered you up eagerly. Do you want to know what he
said?"



he has such a nasty smirk while he does this, you can tell he's
enjoying being cruel to her. (Even though there is also
mission-important reasons for keeping her on the radio.)

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019

*
*
. . .
Robert Vaughn's Solo, the TV original, would have done this too, though without the smirk. His Solo was a strategist and tactician, and he was never above using psychology to outwit his foes.

Cavill's Solo has a lot in common with Robert Wagner's Alexander Mundy -- both are jewel thieves who have to work for the U.S. intelligence community.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (ClOmq)

897 But I would not be surprised at all if Jordan's fantastic characters became a collection SJW grievance groups.

I hope someone in the tv show's production knows what they're doing, but I'm doubtful.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (u9hp4)

The actual bit of hard casting I think in the whole damn thing would be Mat. That is a hard character to play and not come off as a complete jackass.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:05 PM (ycWCI)

898 Cruise gives every movie 100%. I respect that. He does the work.

Like Nicholas Cage. You don't get half of Nick Cage, you get the whole thing, all the time. No matter how awful the film, he's giving it his all.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 04:05 PM (39g3+)

899 898 Cruise gives every movie 100%. I respect that. He does the work.

Like Nicholas Cage. You don't get half of Nick Cage, you get the whole thing, all the time. No matter how awful the film, he's giving it his all.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 04:05 PM (39g3+)

And add Keanu to that list now too. As I'm sure other morons have mentioned above

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:07 PM (bcbK8)

900 897 But I would not be surprised at all if Jordan's fantastic characters became a collection SJW grievance groups.

I hope someone in the tv show's production knows what they're doing, but I'm doubtful.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:03 PM (u9hp4)

The actual bit of hard casting I think in the whole damn thing would be Mat. That is a hard character to play and not come off as a complete jackass.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:05 PM (ycWCI)

Well have a feminist and a male feminist writing and directing it. So Wheel of Time fans are fucked.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:07 PM (bcbK8)

901 @754 Did you know, Keanu Reeves has something important in common with Sir Ralph Richardson?

Brother members of the Norton Owners Club, Commando faction.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at July 16, 2019 04:07 PM (8ZmvG)

902 How is John wick different than the guy in payback

Posted by: Jean at July 16, 2019 04:07 PM (Z4A/k)

903 The thing I like about Keanu Reeves is that while he has a really limited range, he doesn't try to challenge that, he works with in it. You don't see him trying to play Genghis Khan or Robin Hood. He plays within his range and does well at it.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 04:09 PM (39g3+)

904 Marcia Lucas also saved the beginning of Star Wars. The original cut kept cutting to Luke on Tattooine looking up at the space battle with binoculars and then going to some Youth Rec Center to talk to Biggs. It slowed everything WAY down.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 04:09 PM (PbpT7)

905 How is John wick different than the guy in payback

He talks a lot less and shoots a lot more.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 04:09 PM (39g3+)

906 The actual bit of hard casting I think in the whole damn thing would be Mat. That is a hard character to play and not come off as a complete jackass.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:05 PM (ycWCI)

Yeah, and he really becomes the Mat we know and love in books 3 and 4. That's a long time for a tv audience.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:10 PM (u9hp4)

907 62
I also agree that if Broccoli wants to really end all questions,
they'll also bait that this new 007 is a lesbian, so they can Check That
Box on the "gay" 007 thing too.



And Muslim.
____________
And Handicapped

Posted by: fox at July 16, 2019 04:10 PM (3s9iz)

908
In the end, they gays won, as they nominated Alan Turing NOT because he broke the Enigma Code and helped win WWII but SOLELY because he was arrested for sodomizing a teenager.

Posted by: zombie at July 16, 2019 03:59 PM (oFcdC)








Like that Turing movie with Benedict Cummerbundisnatchitsky. The script was basically:

GAY GAY GAY GAY HES GAY GAY GAY FABULOUSLY GAY oh yeah... he saves the world with algebra GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 16, 2019 04:10 PM (veoSD)

909 Well have a feminist and a male feminist writing and directing it. So Wheel of Time fans are fucked.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:07 PM (bcbK

Which is kind of hilarious. A buddy and I in college (we were both huge fans) speculated that a lot of the women parts of the novels were Jordan working out his issues with women (nagging.)

On the other hand, Jordan was a hell of a lot healthier mentally than say Terry Goodkind. I lost interest in that series about the seventh or eighth attempted rape (or actual) in.

Honestly, WoT is a bit too massive to be able to be done justice on the screen, I am sad to say. Even taking out the filler bits. Even with a good director and perfect casting.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:12 PM (ycWCI)

910 Thick-finger
A lesbian spy thriller love story

Posted by: fox at July 16, 2019 04:12 PM (3s9iz)

911 Meanwhile the Canary in the Coal Mine - Hong Kong is fighting for its life.

This will go down in history one way or the other however it is written.

https://youtu.be/mJKxAUw_vxo

Posted by: Confucius Crossing the Complainant at July 16, 2019 04:12 PM (Tw8cs)

912 905 How is John wick different than the guy in payback

He talks a lot less and shoots a lot more.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 16, 2019 04:09 PM (39g3+)

John Wick is an assassin

Parker is a thief. Parker is also a badass and will kill without remorse. But they're different types of people.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:12 PM (bcbK8)

913 904 Marcia Lucas also saved the beginning of Star Wars. The original cut kept cutting to Luke on Tattooine looking up at the space battle with binoculars and then going to some Youth Rec Center to talk to Biggs. It slowed everything WAY down.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 04:09 PM (PbpT7)

Learning all this makes all the behind the scenes prequel stuff make so much more sense. The prequel Lucas seemed a completely different person from the one who made the OT.

Turns out he was trying to kill SW back then too.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:13 PM (u9hp4)

914 Yeah, and he really becomes the Mat we know and love in books 3 and 4. That's a long time for a tv audience.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:10 PM (u9hp4)

Plus, they have to balance a smart alec kind of brat becoming a military genius badass James Bond. I am not sure there is an actor who has that kind of range.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:13 PM (ycWCI)

915 909 Well have a feminist and a male feminist writing and directing it. So Wheel of Time fans are fucked.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:07 PM (bcbK

Which is kind of hilarious. A buddy and I in college (we were both huge fans) speculated that a lot of the women parts of the novels were Jordan working out his issues with women (nagging.)

On the other hand, Jordan was a hell of a lot healthier mentally than say Terry Goodkind. I lost interest in that series about the seventh or eighth attempted rape (or actual) in.

Honestly, WoT is a bit too massive to be able to be done justice on the screen, I am sad to say. Even taking out the filler bits. Even with a good director and perfect casting.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:12 PM (ycWCI)

You could turn the first book into two movies and do them LOTR style. IF you committed to that level of quality, it would be great.

After that...dunno. First 6 books are great but trying to compress that story would be tough and the second half of the series are a slog until Sanderson took over.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:14 PM (bcbK8)

916 Hard pass.

Posted by: Darth Randall at July 16, 2019 04:16 PM (XY032)

917 Honestly, WoT is a bit too massive to be able to be done justice on the screen, I am sad to say. Even taking out the filler bits. Even with a good director and perfect casting.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:12 PM (ycWCI)

That's where I unfortunately fall as well.

I don't think the size of the story itself is the problem, a lot of the book's length comes from heavy description and unnecessary side characters. The problem will be transferring such deep characters, cultures and world building to a screen.



Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:16 PM (u9hp4)

918 Will she have a man penis like the previous Mr. Fist Lady.

Posted by: robert c granger at July 16, 2019 04:16 PM (uaYXs)

919 You could turn the first book into two movies and do them LOTR style. IF you committed to that level of quality, it would be great.

After that...dunno. First 6 books are great but trying to compress that story would be tough and the second half of the series are a slog until Sanderson took over.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:14 PM (bcbK

I think you could trim one whole hell of a lot even from the early books. The long slog where Rand and Mat are travelling to Caemlyn, for example. Book 2 is where the series really managed to click with it's premise. That and book 4. Book 3 is another where a lot of fat could be trimmed.

And who the hell would you get to play Lanfear? The most beautiful woman of all time, evil.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:18 PM (ycWCI)

920
Marcia Lucas also saved the beginning of Star Wars. The original cut kept cutting to Luke on Tattooine looking up at the space battle with binoculars and then going to some Youth Rec Center to talk to Biggs. It slowed everything WAY down.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2019 04:09 PM (PbpT7)

Learning all this makes all the behind the scenes prequel stuff make so much more sense. The prequel Lucas seemed a completely different person from the one who made the OT.

Turns out he was trying to kill SW back then too.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:13 PM (u9hp4)







Lucas turned to shit once he was able to purge everyone who had the guts to tell him "that's a stupid fucking idea, George". One of the best parts of the RedLetterMedia Mr Plinkett review of Phantom Menace is where everyone at LucasFilm is stunned at how much the film sucks, but they're scared shitless of speaking up.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 16, 2019 04:18 PM (veoSD)

921 After that...dunno. First 6 books are great but trying to compress that story would be tough and the second half of the series are a slog until Sanderson took over.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 16, 2019 04:14 PM (bcbK

I think only one major, major event happens in book 7-11, so almost all of those books could cut/reduced.

Even with that though, you're looking at a minimum of 10 tv seasons.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:19 PM (u9hp4)

922 I think you could trim one whole hell of a lot even from the early books. The long slog where Rand and Mat are travelling to Caemlyn, for example. Book 2 is where the series really managed to click with it's premise. That and book 4. Book 3 is another where a lot of fat could be trimmed.

And who the hell would you get to play Lanfear? The most beautiful woman of all time, evil.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:18 PM (ycWCI)

Yep.

For Lanfear you'd have to drop the whole 'most beautiful women in the world' bit. (Just like I think they're going to have to drop the 'ageless' look of Aes Sedai.)

Just make Lanfear a good looking woman who's obsessed with LTT.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:21 PM (u9hp4)

923 ...after having married the bland Lea Seydoux from Specter..."

Bland? She may have been bland in Spectre, but she certainly wasn't bland in "Blue is the Warmest Color"... not that I would know anything about that...

Posted by: Clyde Shelton at July 16, 2019 04:23 PM (7A4qQ)

924 Even with that though, you're looking at a minimum of 10 tv seasons.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:19 PM (u9hp4)

Yeah. This series is a landmine ridden field though for modern Hollywood. How do you approach the most central concept of Jordan's story, that Rand does not want to be the chosen one, but does it, because someone has to? How do they not make that come off as whiny? (and Jordan walked this line a bit too widely even in the books.)

I am going to have to reread again. I had almost forgotten how much I loved the books (though they spanned 20 years.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:27 PM (ycWCI)

925 Just make Lanfear a good looking woman who's obsessed with LTT.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at July 16, 2019 04:21 PM (u9hp4)

I also think a 70s/80s Jane Seymour could pull it off.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 16, 2019 04:28 PM (ycWCI)

926 Hollywood is being run by all the kids that got excluded from playing dodgeball because they were to stupid to move.

I'm like Ace, I really don't care about the Bond franchise because for me it died a long time ago. I don't care about all the flashy stunts and so called pretty girls, the plots are beyond lame and they just aren't fun.

Posted by: Gmac - Winning never gets old, like me ... But I'm still winning dammit! at July 16, 2019 04:39 PM (qZdIZ)

927 The whole point of Bond is that he is by today's standards a misogynist. He doesn't give a shit, he does a dirty job and he's a borderline/high functioning alcoholic.

I haven't minded the continuity too much. I've always viewed Bond films as Popcorn Escapism. So a nice explosion, some witty one liners and I'm good.
So they can do a reboot and I'm fine. I think it was In On Her Majesty's Secret Service where there was a reference to "this never happened to the other guy" or something.

Posted by: Iblis at July 16, 2019 04:46 PM (9221z)

928 This new female James Bond is gonna get shitloads of poontang.

Posted by: Charles Coffer at July 16, 2019 05:47 PM (OB5e8)

929 "they'll also bait that this new 007 is a lesbian"


Mostly so they can keep all the hot Bond Girls around.

Posted by: GWB at July 16, 2019 07:09 PM (pNkYU)

930 James Bond was missing, presumed KIA at the beginning of the Fleming novel The Man with the Golden Gun (In reality he had amnesia and had been abducted by the KGB, brainwashed, and sent to assassinate M). They didn't reassign his number. In the Fleming novels the 00 section of the secret service is very small. Three, never more than five, agents.

Posted by: Lamont Cranston at July 16, 2019 07:33 PM (3ufaJ)

931 DD7

Posted by: Guam tipper at July 16, 2019 08:18 PM (FsgBK)

932 I think it will cause a whole lot of angst among the snowflake crowd if they off a black woman 007 in the movie.
Which would probably make the movie actually worth watching, even with Daniel Craig's non-performance in SPECTRE.

Posted by: Sam at July 16, 2019 11:24 PM (YScgw)

933 I haven't paid to see a 007 James Bond movie since High school and I am mid sixties now. I haven't wanted to see one on TV either since Moonlurker.
Frankly they can make James Bond 007 a Vulcan and I wouldn't care.

Posted by: obsidian at July 17, 2019 11:45 AM (7+yqP)

(Jump to top of page)






Processing 0.1, elapsed 0.1072 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0175 seconds, 942 records returned.
Page size 433 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.



MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat