Weird Crime Blotter

A manhunt is underway for a suspected hitman in Canada who was caught on video during an alleged job last fall -- in which he posed as a delivery guy and shot a homeowner with a crossbow that he had hidden inside of a package, according to cops....

Surveillance footage shows the attempted killer, who appears to be wearing a wig, standing outside the victim’s door with a cardboard box -- which had a hole cut into it on one end so the arrow could shoot through.

She survived.

We need common sense crossbow control and we need a 60 day waiting period on the purchase or rental of cardboard boxes.

Video of the attempted murder here. They edit out the actual shot, but you see the moments before and the moments after. Content warning for disturbing content.

Man beats up transgender "woman" after traffic accident.

Edward Thomas, 29, was taken into custody by police late Sunday for “his role in the aggravated assault” of the woman at an apartment complex in the city’s Oak Cliff section.
Investigators are probing the attack as a possible hate crime, the Dallas Morning News reports.
A 36-second video clip shows Thomas viciously punching the woman after the minor accident, police said. Several others in the crowd appear to be egging the attack on, with at least one person kicking the victim as she lay helpless in the middle of the street, the video shows.

You'll never hear about this hate crime again because, well, Wrong Race, Wrong Narrative.

This isn't an actual crime, but it involves the courts. And I guess you could call it a Crime Against Love: Man sues parents for throwing away his $29,000 porn collection.

The family feud began in October 2016, when, following a divorce, the man moved back in with his parents in Grand Rapids Mich., -- bringing with him his $29,000 smut stockpile, according to federal civil court documents obtained by local outlet WXMI.
About 10 months later, the man, whose identity was withheld by the outlet, moved to a new home in Indiana and his parents sent him his belongings.
That’s when he noticed his pornography pile -- which consisted of over 12 moving boxes full of movies and two boxes of sex toys -- was gone, according to Fox 13.
The man tried calling the Ottawa County Sheriff's Office, sending one officer 44 emails listing movies he says were destroyed -- but authorities declined to press charges. Many of the porn flicks are valuable and out-of-print, according to the suit.

Here's a visual exhibit showing all the dudes here reacting to hearing about this guy's sick stack of smut.

On to internet crime. Julian Assange got the boot from the Ecuadorian embassy when embarrassing pictures of the socialist president of Ecuador, whose first name is actually Lenin, were leaked, showing him in swank hotel rooms with beds loaded with expensive items from the room service menu.

President Lenin Moreno blamed Assange for the hacking and leaking of these personal travel photos, though I don't think there's any real reason to suspect that.

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 05:10 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Firstest

Posted by: Skip at April 16, 2019 05:11 PM (BbGew)

2 Foist?

Posted by: Calm Mentor at April 16, 2019 05:11 PM (ffYR/)

3 Sponge.

Posted by: golfman at April 16, 2019 05:12 PM (OE84+)

4 Corgis dutifully called

Posted by: Skip at April 16, 2019 05:12 PM (BbGew)

5 Of all the ways to go. I'd never see it coming.

Posted by: Someguy at April 16, 2019 05:12 PM (HUFx8)

6 Top Ten?

Posted by: BunkerInTheBurbs, still needs a new Nic! at April 16, 2019 05:13 PM (mRuSo)

7 Of course he used a crossbow settling that crossbow/ longbow argument

Posted by: Skip at April 16, 2019 05:13 PM (BbGew)

8 Joan Collins!

No wait!!

Derringers!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 16, 2019 05:13 PM (Dwe7n)

9 The hole would be unnecessary.

Unless you used a ridiculously thick cardboard.

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:14 PM (pCsgI)

10 embarrassing pictures of the socialist president of Ecuador, whose first name is actually Lenin, were leaked, showing him in swank hotel rooms with beds loaded with expensive items from the room service menu.

It's good to be the head socialist.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 16, 2019 05:14 PM (x3tTl)

11 Spooonge!

Posted by: Paul Hollywood at April 16, 2019 05:14 PM (so+oy)

12 People don't kill people, crossbows kill people.

Posted by: Lefties at April 16, 2019 05:14 PM (vDqXW)

13 7 Of course he used a crossbow settling that crossbow/ longbow argument

Posted by: Skip at April 16, 2019 05:13 PM (BbGew)

Can't sneak a longbow in a pizza box.

Posted by: Someguy at April 16, 2019 05:14 PM (HUFx8)

14 Who says socialism sucks? Look at their idea of breakfast for one!

Posted by: t-bird at April 16, 2019 05:15 PM (g0Lfb)

15 "his role in the aggravated assault" of the woman
=========
why is this in quotes: "his role in the aggravated assault" and not this: woman ?

Posted by: simplemind at April 16, 2019 05:15 PM (C6xeQ)

16 When they outlaw crossbows, only criminals will have crossbows.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 16, 2019 05:15 PM (Dwe7n)

17 Should have used a longbow.

Posted by: joncelli, providing the traditional responses at April 16, 2019 05:15 PM (RD7QR)

18 embarrassing pictures of the socialist president of Ecuador, whose
first name is actually Lenin, were leaked, showing him in swank hotel
rooms with beds loaded with expensive items from the room service menu.
Fish tacos?

Posted by: Archer at April 16, 2019 05:15 PM (gmo/4)

19 It's no secret why his murder attempt failed. He should have hidden across the street and used a Longbow.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 16, 2019 05:15 PM (Kpl3J)

20 The Netflix PR chick who fussed over the term "chick flick" on twitter, having nothing else to worry about in her whole benighted life, has taken her twitter account private.

That's weird. I mean, if you live on social media and lecture America on what movie terms they can all safely use, don't you want to be on twitter? Need to be on twitter?

Posted by: Huck Follywood, no recent arrests at April 16, 2019 05:15 PM (LISuA)

21 crossbow?!

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 16, 2019 05:16 PM (dm05u)

22 What we actually need is commonsense politician control. A kind of pest control, but deadlier.

Posted by: Eeyore at April 16, 2019 05:16 PM (VaN/j)

23 Of course he used a crossbow settling that crossbow/ longbow argument
Posted by: Skip at April 16, 2019 05:13 PM (BbGew)

But, was it a semi-automatic crossbow with large capacity magazine?

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at April 16, 2019 05:16 PM (3sjI6)

24 If socialist dictators get exposed for lavish travel...only PUTIN wins!!

Posted by: CNN at April 16, 2019 05:17 PM (vDqXW)

25 23 Of course he used a crossbow settling that crossbow/ longbow argument
Posted by: Skip at April 16, 2019 05:13 PM (BbGew)

But, was it a semi-automatic crossbow with large capacity magazine?
Posted by: Anonymous White Male at April 16, 2019 05:16 PM (3sjI6)

I think the pron guy had the large capacity magazines.

Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 16, 2019 05:17 PM (NWiLs)

26 Canada just had a a guy kill 4 of his neighbors because his estranged 'neighbor from hell ' wife didn't get along with them.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:17 PM (rxtQa)

27 Suing about your pron collection is like calling the cops when your dealer stiffs you.

Posted by: joncelli, providing the traditional responses at April 16, 2019 05:17 PM (RD7QR)

28 A 36-second video clip shows Thomas viciously punching the woman after the minor accident, police said. Several others in the crowd appear to be egging the attack on, with at least one person kicking the victim as she lay helpless in the middle of the street, the video shows.

Saw that on Facebook. So a dude beats up a pretty dude. So what?

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2019 05:18 PM (dDUXP)

29 Not a true socialist - no fish tacos in that picture

Posted by: Archer at April 16, 2019 05:18 PM (gmo/4)

30 I admit to clicking through to that Dallas Tranny Beatdown.

'Muhlaysia Booker'.

Posted by: JEM at April 16, 2019 05:18 PM (8erNz)

31 27 Suing about your pron collection is like calling the cops when your dealer stiffs you.
Posted by: joncelli, providing the traditional responses at April 16, 2019 05:17 PM (RD7QR)

Except most pron's legal and most drugs aren't...

Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 16, 2019 05:19 PM (NWiLs)

32 But, was it a semi-automatic crossbow with large capacity magazine?

Posted by: Anonymous White Male
---
Not sure but it did have a bayonet lug and a suppressor so, no bueno.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 16, 2019 05:19 PM (Y4EXg)

33 I think there is some weird crime news about to come out from Bradley (no I won't call it Chelsea) Manning, too.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 05:19 PM (/tuJf)

34 Of course he used a crossbow settling that crossbow/ longbow argument
Posted by: Skip

A crossbow at point-blank range didn't kill her? Your case is a little shaky.

Posted by: t-bird at April 16, 2019 05:19 PM (98WNR)

35 I admit to clicking through to that Dallas Tranny Beatdown.

'Muhlaysia Booker'.
Posted by: JEM

Pro tip: Folks, if you don't know how to spell, don't attempt it.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (dDUXP)

36 "Surveillance footage shows the attempted killer, who appears to be wearing a wig, standing outside the victims door with a cardboard box -- which had a hole cut into it on one end so the arrow could shoot through."

Police suspect this same man was later sighted in a nearby movie theatre, holding a popcorn bucket with a mysterious hole cut in the bottom.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (Kpl3J)

37 Do leftists even give a crap when their "leaders" get caught living like kings?

Did Bernie take a hit when people found out he has three houses? Or that his chisler wife bankrupted a small college?

Does Alexandria D.C. take a hit when she's photographed in clothes that cost more than most middle class people earn in a month?

Posted by: bonhomme at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (9t0Zz)

38 I prefer humiliation porn featuring heavyset Guatamalan women forcing cucked weaklings to smell their dirty peasant feet.

I recommend it, in fact.

Please clap.

Posted by: Jeb! with a ! at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (PbpT7)

39 26 I thought that kind of stuff only happened in America....

Posted by: steevy at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (BXMxN)

40 I think there is some weird crime news about to come out from Bradley (no I won't call it Chelsea) Manning, too.
========
Spill.

Posted by: simplemind at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (C6xeQ)

41 >>Suing about your pron collection is like calling the cops when your dealer stiffs you.

I'd go with 'Erotic Arts Collection'.

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (pCsgI)

42 People will fight to the death over that plate of lobster.

Posted by: Fritz at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (LuPts)

43 I'd rather get shot with a gun than a crossbow.

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:21 PM (pCsgI)

44 38 Sounds hawt.
Quentin Tarantino

Posted by: steevy at April 16, 2019 05:21 PM (BXMxN)

45 "Mom, you threw away my favorite beat-sock! It was a collector's item!"

Posted by: Porn Man's Biggest Complaint at April 16, 2019 05:21 PM (98WNR)

46
Of course he used a crossbow settling that crossbow/ longbow argument
Posted by: Skip at April 16, 2019 05:13 PM (BbGew)

Yes it does, If the hitman had used a longbow his victim would be dead.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 16, 2019 05:21 PM (TAmPV)

47 This is why the second amendment should apply to boiling oil.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (yL25O)

48 Socialism is really hah ha I got your shit.

Also...you don't have to PAY for porn. ffs

Posted by: eleven at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (NLLmE)

49 When I was young I lived in an apartment complex and the apartment above me started to leak water through my ceiling. when the super came to shut the water off in the apartment no one was home so he entered as allowed. He came down to get me so he could show me that the apartment was literally 2 feet deep in porn magazines in every room. Creepy as hell.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (rxtQa)

50 Maybe "Muhlaysia" (gotta love that spelling) made an overt pass at Edward (pronounced "ETword" no doubt) and Edward was simply defending himself against the sexual assault.

Posted by: Art Vandelay at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (yACxx)

51 Muhlaysia Booker'.

==

the fiercely feminine Booker

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (dm05u)

52 To the laundry with you, sock.

Posted by: kathysaysso at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (yACxx)

53 Local story of a man carjacked and killed while attempting to access his storage unit after about 8 pm, vehicle still missing.

Suspect, still on the run, entered the vehicle as it was stopped at the gate at the storage facility.

Always carry, always have your car doors locked, always be aware of your surroundings.

Posted by: Gucci at April 16, 2019 05:23 PM (t6MX/)

54 "Mom. Dad."

...

"Did either of you throw out a Box marked -

'Lesbian Fart Porn'?"

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:23 PM (pCsgI)

55 Off crap sock.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:23 PM (t6MX/)

56
Mistress(es) not shown.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 05:23 PM (HaL55)

57 He came down to get me so he could show me that the
apartment was literally 2 feet deep in porn magazines in every room.
Creepy as hell.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (rxtQa)

Let me guess - Mohammadian lived there; right?

Posted by: Archer at April 16, 2019 05:23 PM (gmo/4)

58 >>Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (rxtQa)

So, it wasn't water?

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:24 PM (pCsgI)

59 the fiercely feminine Booker
========]
Buffalo Bill Booker.

How do you first begin to desire something Clarice?

Posted by: Dr. Lector at April 16, 2019 05:24 PM (C6xeQ)

60 52
To the laundry with you, sock.

Posted by: kathysaysso at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (yACxx)

And you want to be my latex salesman.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:24 PM (t6MX/)

61 So, it wasn't water?
Posted by: garrett

eeeeeew that's gross

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 16, 2019 05:24 PM (d7Ww2)

62 based on a true case where an assailant can be heard on the 911 call bashing in the victim's door, i wonder...

you record bashing in your own door, then arrange for your victim to drop by, call 911, play the tape and scream "he's trying to kill me", then shoot your victim.

the prerfect alibi.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at April 16, 2019 05:24 PM (Pg+x7)

63 But did he have any lesbian gymnast movies?

Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 16, 2019 05:24 PM (NWiLs)

64 Suing about your pron collection is like calling the cops when your dealer stiffs you.

Posted by: joncelli, providing the traditional responses at April 16, 2019 05:17 PM (RD7QR)

This case has Judge Judy written all over it.

Suggested episode title:

Sticky Fingers And Hairy Palms

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (Z4rgH)

65 I actually have a book called Defending Your Castle which is only half tongue in cheek ways to reinforce your home; the guy builds a kevlar reinforced front door, for example, but also has some silly things for fun.

I have always said that on my honor as an engineer, my next home will have doors that no SWAT team will ever be punching open with a ram. And maybe not a tank.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (yL25O)

66 Fortunately, Crossbow Killer (Who Looks Like Lionel Ritchie) didn't actually murder his victim, as the story relates that she survived.

He shot her with a big game crossbow, most likely meaning he also used one of those big nasty arrowheads and the bolt probably went right through her.

He probably should have just used a nice English longbow and shot her from across the street. No surveillance footage in that event.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (Y3hKx)

67 49
When I was young I lived in an apartment complex and the apartment above
me started to leak water through my ceiling. when the super came to
shut the water off in the apartment no one was home so he entered as
allowed. He came down to get me so he could show me that the apartment
was literally 2 feet deep in porn magazines in every room. Creepy as
hell.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (rxtQa)

That was NOT water.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (t6MX/)

68 Let me guess - Mohammadian lived there; right?
Posted by: Archer at April 16, 2019 05:23 PM (gmo/4)

No it was a less clean grizzly Adams looking dude .

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (rxtQa)

69 Sticky Fingers And Hairy Palms
Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (Z4rgH)

I think that was a Hardy Boys mystery.

Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (NWiLs)

70 Now, imagine the reaction if Moreno's gay lover hadn't got out of the shot in time...

Posted by: Axeman at April 16, 2019 05:26 PM (vDqXW)

71 Let me guess - Mohammadian lived there; right?

Posted by: Archer at April 16, 2019 05:23 PM (gmo/4)

No it was a less clean grizzly Adams looking dude .

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (rxtQa)

Oh. A convert. I get it.

Posted by: Archer at April 16, 2019 05:27 PM (gmo/4)

72 I have always said that on my honor as an engineer, my next home will have doors that no SWAT team will ever be punching open with a ram. And maybe not a tank.
Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (yL25O)

-------------------------

Steel doors, in a steel frame, that open outward should do it.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at April 16, 2019 05:27 PM (ffYR/)

73
I think the pron guy had the large capacity magazines.
Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 16, 2019 05:17 PM (NWiLs)

Bigg'uns?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 16, 2019 05:27 PM (mdOhl)

74 True Fact : Sticky Fingers And Hairy Plums was actually the original title that The Rolling Stones chose.

The record label made them shorten it.

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:27 PM (pCsgI)

75 my next home will have doors that no SWAT team will ever be punching open with a ram. And maybe not a tank.

"All right. Who's the wise guy painted a door on a cement wall?"

Posted by: t-bird at April 16, 2019 05:27 PM (C78No)

76 This was before readily available porn on the internet.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:27 PM (rxtQa)

77 Fuck that Lenin guy, but I do want to see pictures of the 10/10 hotties he was no doubt banging in those rooms.

Posted by: literally serious at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (S4XGD)

78 >>Spill.

Seems the FBI might have had a FISA warrant on him too. In October of 2016 while he was in prison. Then the people who were monitoring him were pulled off to go look at a laptop the NYPD had stumbled on. Manning filed a suit against the FBI and then dropped the suit after he was pardoned by Obama.

Still trying to put it all together in my head.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (/tuJf)

79 People will fight to the death over that plate of lobster.

Part of the reason I detest "Imagine" so much is the fact that people will fight over ANYTHING.

Nothing to kill or die for, Lennon, you moron?

People kill for food, honor, relationships, perceived sleights, actual sleights, generational differences, different birthplaces, etc.

You cannot create a world in which people won't fight over something.

Imagine is sappy tripe, but even worse, it's stupid.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (9t0Zz)

80
This case has Judge Judy written all over it.
Suggested episode title:

Sticky Fingers And Hairy Palms

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (Z4rgH)

The Case of the Purloined Porn.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (TAmPV)

81 When I order room service in bed, I expect to be fed by Bond girls dressed in lingerie. Dude looks like a cancer patient.

Posted by: Fritz at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (LuPts)

82 Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:22 PM (rxtQa)

That was NOT water.

Posted by: flounder
-----
I doesn't bother me at all that someone didn't search before posting a joke to ensure it wasn't already stated.

It DOES frighten me a bit though, that more than one of us came up with that particular thought.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (Y4EXg)

83 I have always said that on my honor as an engineer, my next home will have doors that no SWAT team will ever be punching open with a ram. And maybe not a tank.

So the doors open outwards, or are designing heavy duty pocket doors?

Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (lD3vL)

84 Some Moron linked this this morning. Woman wants man but man has girlfriend. Woman kills rival and steals her phone, impersonating victim for years and eventually burns her own house to make herself appear to be a victim.

https://bit.ly/2VaKWEB

She watched too much Monk.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (+y/Ru)

85 >>Dude looks like an excellent driver ~~cancer patient~~.

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:29 PM (pCsgI)

86 Now, imagine the reaction if Moreno's gay lover hadn't got out of the shot in time...
=========
Actually, he was holding the camera.

Which implies that Wiki has his cell phone pics.

Which, might show more embarrassing things than a boiled lobster.

The implied threat of blackmail was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Posted by: Dr. Lector at April 16, 2019 05:29 PM (C6xeQ)

87 Suggested episode title:

Sticky Fingers And Hairy Palms
Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (Z4rgH)

Who Robbed The Spank Bank?

Posted by: LASue at April 16, 2019 05:29 PM (XROPS)

88 Who pays for porn? Er...hypothetically speaking, of course.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 16, 2019 05:29 PM (gC2IV)

89 Dayum...no wonder Assange didn't want to leave!

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:29 PM (cF8AT)

90 Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (/tuJf)

Who was the guy who was on the run for a bit in China then Russia. Was that Manning?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:30 PM (rxtQa)

91 Is there a GoFundMe page for Edward Thomas?

I'd hate to see a young, black male targeted by the biased legal system without proper representation.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger, Totally Against Tranny Attacks at April 16, 2019 05:30 PM (89uO4)

92 that room service looks pretty good if you remove the creepy guy.

Posted by: trapper's girl at April 16, 2019 05:30 PM (Rm2st)

93 The Ecuadoran president could take over the Trivago guy's job and no one would notice the difference.

Posted by: LASue at April 16, 2019 05:30 PM (XROPS)

94 The man tried calling the Ottawa County Sheriff's Office

----------

His porn stash is from Canada so you wouldn't know it.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (gC2IV)

95 Steel doors, in a steel frame, that open outward should do it.

And it should be positioned in a way to defy attaching a winch to it.

Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (lD3vL)

96 87
Suggested episode title:

Sticky Fingers And Hairy Palms

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2019 05:25 PM (Z4rgH)

Who Robbed The Spank Bank?

Posted by: LASue at April 16, 2019 05:29 PM (XROPS)

The great fapper caper.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (t6MX/)

97 Imagine.
Easily the stoopidest song evah!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (Dwe7n)

98 Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (+y/Ru)

Or the woman who killed her sister and took over her identity. Worked for just a little while.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (rxtQa)

99 His porn stash is from Canada so you wouldn't know it.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (gC2IV)

lol

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (t6MX/)

100 Anyone who thinks Bernie Sanders is staying at a B&B you're a fool.

He makes $1 million/year as a professional socialist. His net worth is $2 million. best selling books and fee speeches. He has three homes.

Funny how these socialist cretins never work for free. I mean, why does he charge for his speeches? His books?

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (AJj50)

101 I think its ok if a Prez has lobster in bed. I would like a lobster dinner in bed while watching a Lefty nature program about how the earth is turning into a giant ball of fire and laughing my ass off that the lobsters will get boiled in the ocean and then I can just take a raft out and eat more lobsters popping up.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (r+sAi)

102 The first perp in Canada looks Asian. There is a lot of weird Asian organized crime and drug related crap happening up there at the moment

Posted by: Marcus T at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (+4/lE)

103 Considering the other topic threads today, this one is probably the most normal.

No buttplugs, no 65 IQ traitors, no mysterious EWOK call in Gotham.

See what I mean?

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (sy5kK)

104 Nothing to kill or die for, Lennon, you moron?

People kill for food, honor, relationships, perceived sleights, actual sleights, generational differences, different birthplaces, etc.

You cannot create a world in which people won't fight over something.

Imagine is sappy tripe, but even worse, it's stupid.
Posted by: bonhomme at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (9t0Zz)
---
No! We push all of our reasons for killing into the goat, then when the goat leaves all of our reasons for killing go with it!

No more badness!

Posted by: Zombie John Lennon at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (vDqXW)

105 The great fapper caper.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at A

kidfapper

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (MTjB1)

106 His porn stash is from Canada so you wouldn't know it.
Posted by: Duke Lowell

*****

Was in Victoria last summer.
O. M. G.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (Dwe7n)

107 Who was the guy who was on the run for a bit in China then Russia. Was that Manning?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:30 PM (rxtQa)

Snowden.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (t6MX/)

108 97
Imagine.

Easily the stoopidest song evah!

Posted by: Diogenes
----
Point of order Sir!

Yummy, yummy, yummy I've got love in my tummy - Ohio Express.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (Y4EXg)

109 I have always said that on my honor as an engineer, my next home will have doors that no SWAT team will ever be punching open with a ram. And maybe not a tank.

I want a hydraulic ram that raises up out of the floor to press against the center of the door.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (9t0Zz)

110 One suspects that the sort of decision-making ability that led to a $29,000 porn stash seeming like a good idea may have contributed to the divorce.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (65x91)

111 who wants to eat in bed?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (MTjB1)

112 I've heard of politicians getting in trouble for posing for pictures with mobsters...but lobsters?

Posted by: JoeF. at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (NFEMn)

113 kidfapper

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (MTjB1)

Dude! Where's my porn stash?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (t6MX/)

114 33 I think there is some weird crime news about to come out from Bradley (no I won't call it Chelsea) Manning, too.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 05:19 PM (/tuJf)

I was reading that on twitter this morning.

One thread here: https://tinyurl.com/y6l62mow

And another here: https://tinyurl.com/y336npvm

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (cF8AT)

115 Seems the FBI might have had a FISA warrant on him too. In October of 2016 while he was in prison. Then the people who were monitoring him were pulled off to go look at a laptop the NYPD had stumbled on. Manning filed a suit against the FBI and then dropped the suit after he was pardoned by Obama.

Still trying to put it all together in my head.
=======
Interesting. But when you are in prison no warrant needed. All your phone calls are recorded. In fact, every thirty seconds and automatic tape recorded warning breaks in and warns you that you call is being monitored and recorded. I know, because I have subpoenaed then, and listened to people discuss what they just testified to in deposition was what their lawyer told them to say rather than you know, what they should have said. Seriously. Every thirty seconds a warning breaks in and they still discussed their perjury as if it were totally between the two of them.

Posted by: simplemind at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (C6xeQ)

116 Surveillance footage shows the attempted killer, who appears to be wearing a wig, standing outside the victim's door with a cardboard box -- which had a hole cut into it on one end so the arrow could shoot through

That sounds like a really stupid attempt at anonymous assassination, like someone thought they could wear a disguise. "They can't use bullet comparison like on CSI with a crossbow!!"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 16, 2019 05:34 PM (39g3+)

117 Snowden.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:32 PM (t6MX/)

Thanks. Should have remembered that by the terrible movie they made.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:34 PM (rxtQa)

118 >>Who was the guy who was on the run for a bit in China then Russia. Was that Manning?

Snowden. Still in Russia.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 05:34 PM (/tuJf)

119 I don't know anything about bows and arrows, but I guess she's lucky to be alive

Posted by: JoeF. at April 16, 2019 05:34 PM (NFEMn)

120 63 But did he have any lesbian gymnast movies?
Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 16, 2019 05:24 PM

***********************

You need some?

I ...er....might...have a few dozen of them lying around somewhere.

Posted by: Rudi Von Starnberg. at April 16, 2019 05:34 PM (OFzX4)

121
who wants to eat in bed?

Posted by: yankeefifth
-----
Do I even have to say it?
Phrasing.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 16, 2019 05:34 PM (Y4EXg)

122 >>who wants to eat in bed?

Where do you eat your fish tacos?

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:34 PM (pCsgI)

123 who wants to eat in bed?

Posted by: yankeefifth
-----
Do I even have to say it?
Phrasing.
Posted by: Tonypete at April 16, 2019 05:34 PM (Y4EXg)

122 >>who wants to eat in bed?

Where do you eat your fish tacos?
Posted by: garrett at A

thank you both

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:35 PM (MTjB1)

124 Every thirty seconds a warning breaks in and they still discussed their perjury as if it were totally between the two of them.

Its like watching criminals on The First 48. None of them call for a laywer. Not one. How freaking stupid do you have to be???

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 16, 2019 05:35 PM (39g3+)

125 who wants to eat in bed?
Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:33 PM (MTjB1)

******

Depends on who's on the menu.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 16, 2019 05:35 PM (Dwe7n)

126 84 Some Moron linked this this morning. Woman wants man but man has girlfriend. Woman kills rival and steals her phone, impersonating victim for years and eventually burns her own house to make herself appear to be a victim.

https://bit.ly/2VaKWEB

She watched too much Monk.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (+y/Ru)

Sounds like she has a difficult 6 months probation in her future. Maybe even 20 hours of community service. She is obviously the victim in all of this along with a future teacher or nurse or something.

Posted by: literally serious at April 16, 2019 05:35 PM (S4XGD)

127 So the doors open outwards, or are designing heavy duty pocket doors?
Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (lD3vL)

portcullis ftw!

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 16, 2019 05:36 PM (dm05u)

128 That guy's porn collection, the cost sounds like something cops say when they make a drug bust.

"The street value of this is one hundred beelion dollars!" *pinky in mouth*

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 16, 2019 05:36 PM (39g3+)

129 See? Socialism hasn't let everybody down.

Posted by: Ripley at April 16, 2019 05:36 PM (NbRJx)

130 >>thank you both

I was kinda hoping you were gonna say, 'standing over the sink'.

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:36 PM (pCsgI)

131 Remember that old game Crossbows and Catapults? That was cool. I wonder if they still make it.

Posted by: Mark1971 at April 16, 2019 05:36 PM (xPl2J)

132 84 Some Moron linked this this morning. Woman wants man but man has girlfriend. Woman kills rival and steals her phone, impersonating victim for years and eventually burns her own house to make herself appear to be a victim.

https://bit.ly/2VaKWEB

She watched too much Monk.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (+y/Ru)

I'm pretty sure I've seen that case on Investigation Discovery or Snapped. The scrunt left her pets in the house to die.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 16, 2019 05:37 PM (Ez6QX)

133
It's nice that there's a lull in the fake news so Ace can post some comparative fluff for a bit.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 05:37 PM (HaL55)

134 Porn is the one thing that should be free to anyone. I'm totally socialist when it comes to porn.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 16, 2019 05:37 PM (xfb67)

135 The Aussange grift and extortion wikileaks con.

I hope the fed hang the slimy fck by his thumbs.

Posted by: 13times at April 16, 2019 05:38 PM (K3B2k)

136 >>>I think its ok if a Prez has lobster in bed. I would like a lobster
dinner in bed while watching a Lefty nature program about how the earth
is turning into a giant ball of fire and laughing my ass off that the
lobsters will get boiled in the ocean and then I can just take a raft
out and eat more lobsters popping up.<<<

Watch your ass, Mijo!

Posted by: Mitch Obama at April 16, 2019 05:38 PM (LuPts)

137 'Porn Free
As Free as the Wind Blows...'

Posted by: garrett at April 16, 2019 05:38 PM (pCsgI)

138 You're not going to fit a longbow into a normal sized box.

Point to crossbows.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 16, 2019 05:39 PM (xfb67)

139 I don't often eat in bed, but when I do, its lobster, while watching the gorilla channel.

Posted by: Donnie Two Scoops at April 16, 2019 05:40 PM (C6xeQ)

140 "Always carry, always have your car doors locked, always be aware of your surroundings.

Posted by: Gucci at April 16, 2019 05:23 PM (t6MX/) "

These, yes, absolutely.
Had that moment earlier today; was just gonna drive the few miles to nearest town - little country roads with no traffic, town of less than 1000 population - almost went without, but I told myself "you never know", went upstairs to get the carry piece, and then went for a drive.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, triumphalist Trumpian at April 16, 2019 05:40 PM (wA4OO)

141

The Aussange grift and extortion wikileaks con.

I hope the fed hang the slimy fck by his thumbs.

I always hoped he'd turn on his Progressive cohorts and start exposing them for the slime they are. The discovery in his trial should be interesting.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 05:40 PM (HaL55)

142 I'm wondering if these are old posts that Ace had in the queue and he really is at the yankees game.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 16, 2019 05:40 PM (d7Ww2)

143 Am I the only one that doesn't like lobster?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (rxtQa)

144
Anyone who thinks Bernie Sanders is staying at a BB you're a fool.

He makes $1 million/year as a professional socialist. His net worth is $2 million. best selling books and fee speeches. He has three homes.

Funny how these socialist cretins never work for free. I mean, why does he charge for his speeches? His books?

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (AJj50)

And he only gave 3.4% of his income to charity.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (TAmPV)

145 Oh shit, I had Crossbows and Catapults. My brother and I would play that for hours.

We put extra rubber bands for more power.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (xfb67)

146 99
His porn stash is from Canada so you wouldn't know it.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (gC2IV)

lol

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:31 PM (t6MX/)

Yoooooooo called?

Posted by: Gaeton Pornstache at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (9dzlp)

147 143 Am I the only one that doesn't like lobster?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation

lobster is ok.

dungeoness crab is better

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (d7Ww2)

148 143 Am I the only one that doesn't like lobster?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (rxtQa)

No.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (Ez6QX)

149 65 I have always said that on my honor as an engineer, my next home will have doors that no SWAT team will ever be punching open with a ram. And maybe not a tank.

remember The Door Club? it was a thingie you could install to block your door from opening very far, thus thwarting home invasions.

saw a tv show testing The Door Club once. the thing worked; prevented the big burly guys from getting through the door. then the burly guys decided to punch their way through the wall next to the door and it didn't take them long to get in.

Posted by: Anachronda at April 16, 2019 05:42 PM (sGtp+)

150 143 Am I the only one that doesn't like lobster?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (rxtQa)

I love it...it hates me.

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:42 PM (cF8AT)

151
These, yes, absolutely.

Had that moment earlier today; was just gonna drive the few miles to
nearest town - little country roads with no traffic, town of less than
1000 population - almost went without, but I told myself "you never
know", went upstairs to get the carry piece, and then went for a drive.

They said that 72% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home.

So I moved.

/Steven Wright

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 05:42 PM (HaL55)

152 $29K worth of porn? Bro! Buddy! Dude!
Yourporn and Porhgub are free and have unlimited selection.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at April 16, 2019 05:42 PM (FiUMj)

153 gonna say, 'standing over the sink'.
Posted by: garrett at A

lol

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:42 PM (MTjB1)

154 Am I the only one that doesn't like lobster?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (rxtQa)

I like it in small amounts, like a really small tail. It's pretty rich.

Like crab legs and scallops better.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at April 16, 2019 05:43 PM (xPJvm)

155 I love it...it hates me.
Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:42 PM (cF8AT

Shellfish allergy?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:43 PM (rxtQa)

156 That wet spot on the sheets is NOT drawn butter. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Mitch Obama at April 16, 2019 05:44 PM (LuPts)

157 Shellfish allergy?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:43 PM (rxtQa)

Yes. Try living in SE Asia and you can't eat shellfish. It's torture I tell ya.

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:44 PM (cF8AT)

158
Only $29K? Hardly worth the bother. Piker.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at April 16, 2019 05:44 PM (NMAzL)

159
Am I the only one that doesn't like lobster?

Hey, I'm right here!

- Lobster Boy

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 05:44 PM (HaL55)

160 I had the album, but I can remember if the band name was Smut Stockpile and the title Pile of Smut or vice versa.

Posted by: SloPitch Whiffer at April 16, 2019 05:44 PM (XYuYz)

161 That wet spot on the sheets is NOT drawn butter. Just sayin'.
Posted by: Mitch Obama at April 16, 2019 05:44 PM (LuPts)

*sadly waves goodbye to lunch...and any dinner plans*

Posted by: Pug Mahon at April 16, 2019 05:44 PM (xPJvm)

162 we have one of those metal rods you lean under the door handle to prevent break in
makes a handy club to have when you do open the door too

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (dm05u)

163 83 I have always said that on my honor as an engineer, my next home will have doors that no SWAT team will ever be punching open with a ram. And maybe not a tank.

So the doors open outwards, or are designing heavy duty pocket doors?
Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at April 16, 2019 05:28 PM (lD3vL)

...

Yeah. It's hard to make something that is overkill levels of secure and then have it actually be useful.

But I like that house in Poland that has enormous concrete shutters, as a start.

https://dailym.ai/2UpRRF7

A steel portcullis is interesting but would not itself stop projectiles. And the latching is a nuisance.

In the end it would probably be something like ordering one of those doors you can cast into a concrete wall when you want a gun safe the size of a room:

https://low.es/2vaU9xG

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (yL25O)

164 Posted by: Pug Mahon at April 16, 2019 05:43 PM (xPJvm

I love crabs. And I also like small lobsters . I call them crawfish.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (rxtQa)

165 I love seafood.

Jim Gaffigan does not:

http://tinyurl.com/Gaffigan-Seafood

Posted by: Sharkman at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (Y3hKx)

166 lobster is fine but would much rather have some wonderful dry aged steak.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (MTjB1)

167

Lobster is just a large type of cockroach.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (NMAzL)

168 And he only gave 3.4% of his income to charity.
Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 16, 2019 05:41 PM (TAmPV)

__

Meh. I gave 0% of my income to charity. The govt steals 1/2 my income every year. I give enough at the office already.

Don't get me wrong, Bernie is a dangerous and evil man. But for 1000 other reasons than not giving to charity.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (FiUMj)

169 152
$29K worth of porn? Bro! Buddy! Dude!

Yourporn and Porhgub are free and have unlimited selection.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at April 16, 2019 05:42 PM (FiUMj)

TBF, that is like 8 nudie mags, 7 porn flicks, and 6 dildos in Canadian money.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 16, 2019 05:46 PM (t6MX/)

170 Politics aside Assange certainly looks like the houseguest from hell.

Posted by: xnycpeasant at April 16, 2019 05:46 PM (koNhm)

171 wouldn't it be easier to dig a trench then cover it with something strong enough to hold someone but not strong enough to hold the tank they are knocking down your door with?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:46 PM (MTjB1)

172
Lobster is just a large type of cockroach.

Soaked in brine.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 05:47 PM (HaL55)

173 Yes. Try living in SE Asia and you can't eat shellfish. It's torture I tell ya.
Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:44 PM (cF8AT)

...

Holy cow. They put shrimp in chicken fried rice there just to stretch the chicken, since shrimp is cheaper.

What do you do?

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:47 PM (yL25O)

174 165 I love seafood.

Jim Gaffigan does not:

http://tinyurl.com/Gaffigan-Seafood
Posted by: Sharkman at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (Y3hKx)

I love Jim Gaffigan. We have tickets to see his show on the 28th.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 16, 2019 05:48 PM (Ez6QX)

175
Meh. I gave 0% of my income to charity. The govt steals 1/2 my income every year. I give enough at the office already.

Don't get me wrong, Bernie is a dangerous and evil man. But for 1000 other reasons than not giving to charity.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at April 16, 2019 05:45 PM (FiUMj)

But you're not calling for a wealth tax.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 16, 2019 05:48 PM (TAmPV)

176 some guy in ny had some hugely expensive vault-like door installed. some thieves drove a forklift through the sheetrock beside the door then stole his recording equipment.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:48 PM (MTjB1)

177
As Thurston Howell III said, I give all my money to my favorite charity: me.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at April 16, 2019 05:49 PM (NMAzL)

178 37 Do leftists even give a crap when their "leaders" get caught living like kings? ......

Posted by: bonhomme at April 16, 2019 05:20 PM (9t0Zz)
--------------------------------------
That's a great question --- and I think that they DON'T care.

But squishy-headed useful idiots DO.

Just a few days ago I was talking to a squish-Dem about this. (She doesn't know my real politics.) I noted that, as awful as Trump is, he's straight up when it comes to money. Doesn't hide it, doesn't pretend to be poor, and doesn't yap about taxing the rich while hiring super-accountants to protect his own stash. Shows up at the Iowa caucus, where all the other pols are wearing jeans, dressed in a suit and riding a helicopter. Etc., etc.

Then we talked about the likes of Sanders, John Kerry, and Chelsea I-Don't-Care-About-Money Clinton.

By the time we were finished, she was actually praising Orangemanbad!

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 16, 2019 05:49 PM (Rxduq)

179 Lobster is just a large type of cockroach.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear

And it's delicious.

Posted by: eleven at April 16, 2019 05:49 PM (NLLmE)

180
Oh. Oak Cliff.

That explains everything.

Posted by: Former residents of Kaixian, China, upstream of Three Gorges Dam at April 16, 2019 05:49 PM (ZyZCb)

181 You could just use the kind of slidey metal gate jewelry stores like Tiffany's uses

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (dm05u)

182 I've seen cops saw through a roof...
Then drop flash bangs or something like it.

Posted by: navybrat swimming upstream at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (w7KSn)

183 Lobster used to be food for the poor, and then somehow evolved as an expensive delicacy. It's weird how that shit happens.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (FiUMj)

184 167 Lobster is just a large type of cockroach.

indeed.

Posted by: Gregor Samsa at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (sGtp+)

185
Ack. Off me, soaked sock.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (ZyZCb)

186 I wonder what we were paying the Equa-lists to keep Julio on Heilo para nosotros.

Posted by: The Charlie Daniels of the Torque Wrench at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (Jj+59)

187 176 some guy in ny had some hugely expensive vault-like door installed. some thieves drove a forklift through the sheetrock beside the door then stole his recording equipment.
Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:48 PM (MTjB1)

...

that's just embarrassing.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (yL25O)

188 Sounds like an appropriate time to mention that puttanesca means "in the style of the whore."

Posted by: xnycpeasant at April 16, 2019 05:51 PM (koNhm)

189 Let them eat....LOBSTER!!!!

Posted by: Lenin at April 16, 2019 05:51 PM (Y274z)

190 182 I've seen cops saw through a roof...
Then drop flash bangs or something like it.
Posted by: navybrat swimming upstream at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (w7KSn)

...

Did they burn down three city blocks?

Posted by: Philly Cops at April 16, 2019 05:52 PM (yL25O)

191 Well according to Little been Notre Dame's statues are anti- somatic check out the six minute mark
http://tinyurl.com/y54wckhn

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at April 16, 2019 05:52 PM (dKiJG)

192 And did he really have some sound legal principle in mind to force them to carry him to the paddy wagon? Not to set a foot on English soil?

Posted by: The Charlie Daniels of the Torque Wrench at April 16, 2019 05:52 PM (Jj+59)

193 lobster is the only food where you have to make it huge to get people to eat it.

yeesh, that is a cockroach, disgusting.

get some cockroach that weighs a couple of kilos, delicious!

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:52 PM (MTjB1)

194 Holy cow. They put shrimp in chicken fried rice there just to stretch the chicken, since shrimp is cheaper.

What do you do?

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:47 PM (yL25O)

What I did do (this was 20+ years ago) was repeatedly tell them no shrimp, none. Sometimes it worked other times I'd find teeny tiny shrimp (krill?) in my food. Had to send it back....while everyone else is eating prawns the size of their fists.

Or just order squid/sea bass/some other fresh fish.

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:52 PM (cF8AT)

195 184 167 Lobster is just a large type of cockroach.

indeed.
Posted by: Gregor Samsa at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (sGtp+)

Heh.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (Ez6QX)

196
On one of Miley's Hallmark mystery shows, which I forget, a rich dude build an elaborate safe room, in which he had enough provisions to last weeks.

He was murdered inside of it, and it looked like his pet chimp he took in there had shot him.

It wasn't. His wife was banging the security guys who built the safe room, and he installed a secret entrance, just so he could get in and shoot the guy.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (NMAzL)

197 that's just embarrassing.
Posted by: TexasDan at A

funny too. when they showed it on the news it looked like some cartoon character had run through the wall. the outline of the forklift was perfect.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (MTjB1)

198
Shows up at the Iowa caucus, where all the other pols are wearing jeans, dressed in a suit and riding a helicopter. Etc., etc.

Good. Perhaps Teh Rich will start to become respected again. It would help if some people in The Party of Stoopid would start to question the filthy rich psycho Progs who try to paint Teh Rich as something evil.

That makes absolutely no sense. I can't understand why nobody every questions them about that. I just don't get it...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (HaL55)

199 175---But you're not calling for a wealth tax.
Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 16, 2019 05:48 PM (TAmPV)
--------------------------------
Exactly.
Nor is he prancing around the country telling everyone how much he cares about the poor and how heartless others are in comparison.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (Rxduq)

200 I've got a weird crime story of my own.

One of the pups had the runs last night and left five separate landmines downstairs, spread throughout the living room, dining room, and kitchen. And we're talking about an 80 lb. dog. That's bad enough, right? Well guess what ...

My Roomba is scheduled to vacuum the downstairs every night at 1:00 AM. And it managed to hit every. single. pile. and spread it throughout the house.

You have no idea.

No idea.

Posted by: IrishEi at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (NtglE)

201 Lobster is just a large type of cockroach.

...

That makes me want to try cockroach.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (x/kcP)

202 I resided at 46th and Locust the day Milton B Goode bombed MOVE HQ. No homo. Spectacular.

Posted by: The Charlie Daniels of the Torque Wrench at April 16, 2019 05:54 PM (Jj+59)

203 Lobster used to be food for the poor, and then somehow evolved as an expensive delicacy. It's weird how that shit happens.

You can eat food from the sea?

Posted by: Irish Man circa 1848 at April 16, 2019 05:54 PM (9t0Zz)

204 You have no idea.

No idea.

Posted by: IrishEi at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (NtglE)

Oh sure. Blame me. You're on the list.

Posted by: Roomba at April 16, 2019 05:55 PM (t6MX/)

205 More lobster for me.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 05:55 PM (/tuJf)

206 You'd think that a man who could afford $29,000 worth of porn could afford to get his own place. That guy needs a financial advisor.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 16, 2019 05:55 PM (+lVUW)

207 For everyone saying they hope Bernie wins the DNC because there's no way in hell he could possible win a general election.....I thought the same thing about Obama.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at April 16, 2019 05:55 PM (FiUMj)

208 tablet sign in; and on a completely unrelated to anything note maybe someone can put me up for a few ~~days~~ weeks. For no particular reason.

I mean for a short vacation. That's it. A short vacation.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 16, 2019 05:55 PM (Dh1wo)

209 wouldn't it be easier to dig a trench then cover it with something strong enough to hold someone but not strong enough to hold the tank they are knocking down your door with?
Posted by: yankeefifth

Just plant some rare flowers and the eis statement will bog the cops down so long they'll give up and settle.

Posted by: Jean at April 16, 2019 05:56 PM (25Dt7)

210 there were laws agains feeding your servants too much lobster.

thou cans't force thou servants to eat sea bugs more than thrice weekly.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:56 PM (MTjB1)

211 200 I've got a weird crime story of my own.

One of the pups had the runs last night and left five separate landmines downstairs, spread throughout the living room, dining room, and kitchen. And we're talking about an 80 lb. dog. That's bad enough, right? Well guess what ...

My Roomba is scheduled to vacuum the downstairs every night at 1:00 AM. And it managed to hit every. single. pile. and spread it throughout the house.

You have no idea.

No idea.

Posted by: IrishEi at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (NtglE)

And that's when the roomba mysteriously disappeared until it was later found at the bottom of the Pacific.

Posted by: Someguy at April 16, 2019 05:56 PM (mX8Vr)

212 206 You'd think that a man who could afford $29,000 worth of porn could afford to get his own place. That guy needs a financial advisor.
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 16, 2019 05:55 PM (+lVUW)

___

Getting a financial advice is a really bad financial decision, ironically enough. Paying someone to do something you can do yourself and with very little effort is no bueno.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at April 16, 2019 05:56 PM (FiUMj)

213 Bad roomba !!!

Bad!!!!

Posted by: eleven at April 16, 2019 05:56 PM (NLLmE)

214 >>>Lobster used to be food for the poor, and then somehow evolved as an expensive delicacy. It's weird how that shit happens.<<<

Tell me foie gras wasn't some oozing slime a hungover hobo licked from a fermenting duck carcass lo those many years ago.

Posted by: Mitch Obama at April 16, 2019 05:56 PM (LuPts)

215 Just plant some rare flowers and the eis statement will bog the cops down so long they'll give up and settle.
Posted by: Jean at A

lol

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:56 PM (MTjB1)

216 JackStraw and Tami, did you know that Greg Craig's very best friend is John Kerry?

Posted by: Ben Had at April 16, 2019 05:57 PM (j9bhg)

217 For everyone saying they hope Bernie wins the DNC because there's no way in hell he could possible win a general election.....I thought the same thing about Obama.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at April 16, 2019 05:55 PM (FiUMj)

McShit: you have nothing to fear from a Fredo Presidency

Thanks asshole

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 16, 2019 05:57 PM (Y+V3r)

218 eek IrishEi

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 16, 2019 05:57 PM (dm05u)

219 How could Assange have hacked Ecuador preezy? I thought they shut off his internet.

Posted by: kallisto at April 16, 2019 05:57 PM (JaLUs)

220 My Roomba is scheduled to vacuum the downstairs every night at 1:00 AM. And it managed to hit every. single. pile. and spread it throughout the house.

You have no idea.

No idea.

Posted by: IrishEi at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (NtglE)

Oh

My

Gawd!

I can't even imagine! Call Servpro.

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:57 PM (cF8AT)

221 (200) The words "unintended consequences" echo through my mind 10 or 20 times a day.

Posted by: Burger Chef at April 16, 2019 05:58 PM (RuIsu)

222 208 tablet sign in; and on a completely unrelated to anything note maybe someone can put me up for a few days weeks. For no particular reason.

I mean for a short vacation. That's it. A short vacation.
Posted by: andycanuck at April 16, 2019 05:55 PM (Dh1wo)

You can crash on the couch but I get to use the crossbow--uh, the thingy. You know.

Posted by: joncelli, providing the traditional responses at April 16, 2019 05:58 PM (RD7QR)

223 And that's when the roomba mysteriously disappeared until it was later found at the bottom of the Pacific.
Posted by: Someguy at April 16, 2019 05:56 PM (mX8Vr)
~~~~~

The Atlantic, but yeah.

Posted by: IrishEi at April 16, 2019 05:58 PM (NtglE)

224 It wasn't. His wife was banging the security guys who built the safe room, and he installed a secret entrance, just so he could get in and shoot the guy.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (NMAzL)

...

I got to see the escape/security stuff at Exxon HQ in Iriving, TX.

It's interesting stuff. Not quite actual evil lair but still entertaining.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:58 PM (yL25O)

225 some guy in ny had some hugely expensive vault-like door installed. some thieves drove a forklift through the sheetrock beside the door then stole his recording equipment.

At one point I was a security contractor for a military base. If you wanted a gate pass to get onto base you had to come to my office and present your license, insurance, and get sponsored on.

We had a great big bullet-resistant glass window between us and the plebs. The window was installed into a bog standard sheetrock and wood stud wall.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 16, 2019 05:58 PM (9t0Zz)

226 Lenin has enough food on that table by his bed to feed a village in Venezuela, the socialist paradise.

Posted by: Colin at April 16, 2019 05:59 PM (De9bx)

227
I mean for a short vacation. That's it. A short vacation.

Lie to the FBI, get a 14 day vakay.

Posted by: The Charlie Daniels of the Torque Wrench at April 16, 2019 05:59 PM (Jj+59)

228 216 JackStraw and Tami, did you know that Greg Craig's very best friend is John Kerry?

Posted by: Ben Had at April 16, 2019 05:57 PM (j9bhg)

Why am I not surprised?

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:59 PM (cF8AT)

229 134 Porn is the one thing that should be free to anyone. I'm totally socialist when it comes to porn.

but would you trust the folks that run the dmv to make your porn?

Posted by: Anachronda at April 16, 2019 06:00 PM (sGtp+)

230 Ahh fuck...!

Posted by: Florida Man at April 16, 2019 06:00 PM (yhf6w)

231 had the runs last night and left five separate landmines downstairs, spread throughout the living room, dining room, and kitchen. And we're talking about an 80 lb. dog. That's bad enough, right? Well guess what ...

My Roomba is scheduled to vacuum the downstairs every night at 1:00 AM. And it managed to hit every. single. pile. and spread it throughout the house.

You have no idea.

No idea.

Posted by: IrishEi at A

we had something very similar.

our medium dog did the same thing, however, our wee dog, walked through it then walked everywhere. then when the first load of laundry went in and was ready to go, the washer would not start.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 06:00 PM (MTjB1)

232 I am 100% behind arming Venezuelans with longbows.

Posted by: mikeyG - Nationalist White, drunk at April 16, 2019 06:00 PM (LL1Be)

233 Canada just had a a guy kill 4 of his neighbors because his estranged 'neighbor from hell ' wife didn't get along with them.
------
British Columbia man...

Posted by: andycanuck at April 16, 2019 06:00 PM (Dh1wo)

234 McShit: you have nothing to fear from a Fredo Presidency

Thanks asshole

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 16, 2019 05:57 PM (Y+V3r)

Well as it turned out it was a McCain presidency we should have feared.

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 06:01 PM (cF8AT)

235 Has anyone here read Consortium News?

I'm not sure about it but all their facts about what happened in Ukraine have been proven true.

There is plenty of info about Assange and Manning as well.

Again with a grain of salt.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 16, 2019 06:01 PM (j9bhg)

236 e had a great big bullet-resistant glass window between us and the plebs. The window was installed into a bog standard sheetrock and wood stud wall.
Posted by: bonhomme at A

lol

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 06:01 PM (MTjB1)

237 What I did do (this was 20+ years ago) was repeatedly tell them no shrimp, none. Sometimes it worked other times I'd find teeny tiny shrimp (krill?) in my food. Had to send it back....while everyone else is eating prawns the size of their fists.

Or just order squid/sea bass/some other fresh fish.
Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 05:52 PM (cF8AT)

...

I miss the prawns. Oh my.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 06:01 PM (yL25O)

238 but would you trust the folks that run the dmv to make your porn?

"Sir. Sir! SIR!"

"DO you have an APPOINTMENT, SIR??"

Posted by: mikeyG - Nationalist White, drunk at April 16, 2019 06:01 PM (LL1Be)

239 217 For everyone saying they hope Bernie wins the DNC because there's no way in hell he could possible win a general election.....I thought the same thing about Obama.

....

If Bernie gets the nomination, I may not even vote because Trump is such a lead pipe lock.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at April 16, 2019 06:01 PM (x/kcP)

240 202 I resided at 46th and Locust the day Milton B Goode bombed MOVE HQ. No homo. Spectacular.
Posted by: The Charlie Daniels of the Torque Wrench at April 16, 2019 05:54 PM (Jj+59)

...

So how far away was that? Were you home?

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 06:02 PM (yL25O)

241 196
On one of Miley's Hallmark mystery shows, which I forget, a rich dude build an elaborate safe room, in which he had enough provisions to last weeks.

He was murdered inside of it, and it looked like his pet chimp he took in there had shot him.

It wasn't. His wife was banging the security guys who built the safe room, and he installed a secret entrance, just so he could get in and shoot the guy.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (NMAzL)

That's a Monk episode.

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 06:02 PM (cF8AT)

242 Get a RoboRock s5 you can set up virtual no go zones in the app

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at April 16, 2019 06:03 PM (dKiJG)

243 some guy in ny had some hugely expensive vault-like door installed. some thieves drove a forklift through the sheetrock beside the door then stole his recording equipment.
Posted by: yankeefifth at April 16, 2019 05:48 PM (MTjB1)

...

that's just embarrassing.
Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 05:50 PM (yL25O)

They could have just used a utility knife.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at April 16, 2019 06:03 PM (1g7ch)

244 What, cough, cough, crossbow?? But thanks, man!

Posted by: andycanuck at April 16, 2019 06:03 PM (Dh1wo)

245 198
.... It would help if some people in The Party of Stoopid would start to question the filthy rich psycho Progs who try to paint Teh Rich as something evil.....

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 05:53 PM (HaL55)
--------------------------
I think one reason why most Party of Stoopid pols don't question it may be because they themselves have become rich in the one way that most ordinary people (even many D-voters) DON'T admire, i.e., through politics.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 16, 2019 06:04 PM (Rxduq)

246 >>JackStraw and Tami, did you know that Greg Craig's very best friend is John Kerry?

I did not. But I can't say I'm very surprised. Same people keep showing up over and over in this corruption.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 06:04 PM (/tuJf)

247 Bernie would win about 11 or 12 states.

Posted by: Ha at April 16, 2019 06:05 PM (zpOmS)

248 We had a great big bullet-resistant glass window between us and the plebs. The window was installed into a bog standard sheetrock and wood stud wall.
Posted by: bonhomme at April 16, 2019 05:58 PM (9t0Zz)

...

You'll be happy to know that modern man has now figured out that the whole partition needs to be rated, not just the glass.

costs more, but architects now specify the wall to be more than just sheetrock.

Would this be the time to talk about how the idea of shotgun pellets being stopped by sheetrock is pure foolishness?

Posted by: TexasDan at April 16, 2019 06:05 PM (yL25O)

249 Posted by: kallisto at April 16, 2019 05:57 PM (JaLUs)

Maybe it was a case of "framing the guilty" to give them an excuse to boot them?

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at April 16, 2019 06:05 PM (65x91)

250 Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 06:04 PM (/tuJf)

Jack did you see the links I posted in #114 to the Manning story?

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 06:06 PM (cF8AT)

251 DMV pr0n?

That explains a lot of things.

Posted by: eleven at April 16, 2019 06:07 PM (NLLmE)

252 Tami, I want to read them but dial-up is going to take forever. Can I get a synopsis, please?

Posted by: Ben Had at April 16, 2019 06:07 PM (j9bhg)

253 I saw a huge black plume of smoke from my kitchen window, miles away from Powelton Village. Had no idea the mayor had just firebombed MOVE.

Posted by: kallisto at April 16, 2019 06:07 PM (JaLUs)

254 196
On one of Miley's Hallmark mystery shows, which I forget, a rich dude build an elaborate safe room, in which he had enough provisions to last weeks.

He was murdered inside of it, and it looked like his pet chimp he took in there had shot him.

It wasn't. His wife was banging the security guys who built the safe room, and he installed a secret entrance, just so he could get in and shoot the guy.

not a hallmark show. an episode of monk.

Posted by: Anachronda at April 16, 2019 06:08 PM (sGtp+)

255 >>Jack did you see the links I posted in #114 to the Manning story?

Thanks, missed that. I was reading the Beanz thread earlier and trying to make sense of it all.

They were spying on Huma, too? Who the hell weren't they spying on?

Posted by: JackStraw at April 16, 2019 06:08 PM (/tuJf)

256 Bernie would win about 11 or 12 states.
Posted by: Ha at April 16, 2019 06:05 PM (zpOmS)

Vermont
Massachusetts
Hawaii
California
New York
Maryland
New Jersey
Rhode Island
Illinois
Connecticut
DC
Oregon?
Washington?

Posted by: Surfperch at April 16, 2019 06:09 PM (Tr9jL)

257 Nood

Posted by: Ha at April 16, 2019 06:09 PM (zpOmS)

258 Wouldn't be the first time I'd worn a lobster bib to bed.

Posted by: RKae at April 16, 2019 06:09 PM (vP0jg)

259 248 Would this be the time to talk about how the idea of shotgun pellets being stopped by sheetrock is pure foolishness?

but 50 gallon drums are still bulletproof, right?

Posted by: '70s mcgyver at April 16, 2019 06:09 PM (sGtp+)

260 Sounds like a shitty thing for a Roomba to do.

Posted by: Zombie John Lennon at April 16, 2019 06:09 PM (vDqXW)

261 252 Tami, I want to read them but dial-up is going to take forever. Can I get a synopsis, please?

Posted by: Ben Had at April 16, 2019 06:07 PM (j9bhg)

Oh gosh Ben...they're complicated. I'm not sure I would even know what to say in a synopsis. I'm still making my way through them too.

One is a twitter link to a thread. The other is a Threadapp, which might be easier for your dial up. I'll put the other one in a threadapp....hang on.

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 06:09 PM (cF8AT)

262 Jeez. MANning is going to act as its own lawyer?

Posted by: Hikaru at April 16, 2019 06:10 PM (pgXNG)

263 DMV pr0n?
---
For people who can't get enough of waiting ... or being ignored?

Posted by: Axeman at April 16, 2019 06:11 PM (vDqXW)

264
Margarita DeVille, you're not wrong, but the whole idea is to show the voting public that rich Progs want you to hate the rich, which they themselves are. If they had any sense of decency, they would address that issue in response if anybody else brought it up.

It's like Progs want to force normals to accept their psychosis, or ignore it. It's crazy.

Oh well, I'm about to give up trying to make sense of politics anymore. Seems like everybody in it is nuts to one degree or another, with the possible exception of PDT. He seems to have his head screwed on straight, or at least moreso than those who truly hate him and we who voted for him.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 06:11 PM (HaL55)

265 Here Ben....this one has most of the info.

https://tinyurl.com/y52uzzlj

This one is shorter but it links to the other one.

https://tinyurl.com/y336npvm

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 06:12 PM (cF8AT)

266 Tami, Thank You so much.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 16, 2019 06:13 PM (j9bhg)

267 You're welcome Ben.

Any news on setting up the acct. for ace?

Posted by: Tami at April 16, 2019 06:16 PM (cF8AT)

268 Crap!

Posted by: Roomba at April 16, 2019 06:16 PM (nDe2U)

269 264----... Seems like everybody in it is nuts to one degree or another, with the possible exception of PDT....
Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at April 16, 2019 06:11 PM (HaL55)
-----------------------------------
Because he's not a politician!
At least if he's nuts, it's in a different sort of way.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 16, 2019 06:23 PM (Rxduq)

270 27 Suing about your pron collection is like calling the cops when your dealer stiffs you.
I actually did that once. The doofus actually told me he had just gotten for a dealing rap. Since I knew his full name the local police were very interested. For the record I was -15 at the time.

Posted by: Nick Danger Third Eye at April 16, 2019 07:46 PM (c1JKE)

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