NPCs Panicking As They Run Out of Nice Ways to Say Captain Marvel Is a Bad Movie


Flashback to the Onion, February 2003: Women Now Empowered by Everything a Woman Does.

This review by Kyle Smith in the National Review seems to echo every criticism that has been directed at SJW Marvel -- the comics publishing side of the business, which has now infected the movie making side of it.

Captain Mary Sue

By KYLE SMITH

Two years ago, Wonder Woman proved a female-led superhero movie could reach the highest levels of the genre, with Gal Gadot proving robust and redoubtable, yet also charming and feminine. I spent Captain Marvel waiting for Gadot. What I got was Brie Larson: charmless, humorless, a character so without texture that she might as well be made out of aluminum.


Captain Marvel might be the first blockbuster movie whose animating idea is fear. Every page of the script betrays terror of what people might say about the film on social media. Give Carol Danvers a love interest? Eek! No, women canít be defined by the men in their lives! Make her vulnerable? OMG, no, that's crazy. Feminine? What century are you from if you think females should be feminine? Toward the end of the movie, when a villain preparing for an epic confrontation with Carol, the fighter pilot turned Superwoman, chides her that she will fail because she can't control her emotions, there is no tension whatsoever. We've just spent two hours watching her be utterly unfazed by anything. Giving Carol actual emotions would, of course, lead to at least 27 people calling the film misogynist on Twitter, and directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck are petrified of that.

Just to be completely, unerringly, let's-bubble-wrap-the-universe safe, Boden and Fleck decided to make Danvers stronger than strong, fiercer than fierce, braver than brave. Larson spends the entire movie being insouciant, kicking butt, delivering her lines in an I-got-this monotone and staring down everything with a Blue Steel gaze of supreme confidence. Superheroes are defined by their limitations -- Superman's Kryptonite, Batman's mortality -- but Captain Marvel is just an invincible bore. The screenplay by Boden, Fleck, and Geneva Robertson-Dworet, with a story by the three of them plus Nicole Perlman and Meg LeFauve, presents us with Brie Larson's Carol being amazingly strong and resilient at the beginning, middle, and end. This isn't an arc, it's a straight line.

Sounds like someone saw the Mary Sue Star Wars movies and excitedly said, "Hey, let's do that!!!"

...

Carol looks up an old friend, a fellow feminist fighter pilot named Rambeau. As played by Lashana Lynch, she is another Mary Sue, boringly capable, flawless, and stalwart. Rambeau is a single mom with a daughter, but when she considers leaving the planet to join Carol's war with the aliens, the idea of abandoning her kid is played for laughs, not drama. The directors are afraid that suggesting women tend to put their children above all else will get them called out as retrograde by the Jessica Veryangrys on Twitter. They don't realize that treating every potential obstacle as no problem whatsoever makes for a very dull movie.

...

The trap the filmmakers set for themselves is this: They set out to make a girl-power statement -- but feared acknowledging any differences between men and women. Despite Larson's sylphlike build, there is no suggestion at any point that she might be overmatched by a guy who is 80 or 100 pounds larger, like Djimon Hounsou. If being female is defined as "exactly like a male, only more resilient," how interesting is that?

Well, according to Slate, the very fact that this Force is Female movie is boring, misconceived, incompetent and embarrassing is actually a triumph for women, as it proves that women can make awful movies, just like men.


Posted by: Ace of Spades at 11:51 AM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 Sponge!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 11:47 AM (gC2IV)

2 I can't believe the Orange Cat is a thing in this movie. LMFAO.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 11:48 AM (iSh8b)

3 They would've gotten more butts in seats if they'd casted Bree Olson instead of Brie Larson.

Posted by: brak at March 06, 2019 11:48 AM (PkkL6)

4 I will not watch it.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 06, 2019 11:48 AM (0tfLf)

5 Brie has a butter face.

Posted by: JuJuBee at March 06, 2019 11:48 AM (4KIAS)

6 formulaic??

Posted by: IC at March 06, 2019 11:49 AM (a0IVu)

7 Captain Marvel, her ass flat, her movie shit

Posted by: Tamarians at March 06, 2019 11:50 AM (OWGHC)

8 They don't realize that treating every potential obstacle as no problem whatsoever makes for a very dull movie.


Disagree.

Posted by: John Wick at March 06, 2019 11:50 AM (TpAxy)

9 I can't believe Nicole Perlman helped with this script, considering she helped guide Guardians of the Galaxy to the box office. What the hell, Nicole?

Posted by: Toastrider at March 06, 2019 11:50 AM (6CrP2)

10 Brie Larson won't age well.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 06, 2019 11:50 AM (ptqGC)

11 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 11:50 AM (IXZGh)

12 I will not watch it.
Posted by: Diogenes at March 06, 2019 11:48 AM (0tfLf)


That's ok. Brie said you CAN'T, for the first 4 weeks, anyway.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (IXZGh)

13 Looks to me like the "For a fat girl, you don't sweat all that much" School of Faint Praise.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (X12/X)

14 Okay. Let's remake Where Eagles Dare with a all female cast.
Melissa McCarthy can play the Schloss Adler

Posted by: Bruce at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (8ikIW)

15 I'm happy w/my pop culture ignorance.

Posted by: BignJames at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (ykq7q)

16 Sponge!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 11:47 AM (gC2IV)


Callz you buttah cuz you on a roll!

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (IXZGh)

17 Every flop means less money for the left to destroy us.

Posted by: Someguy at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (dy5uS)

18 A positive review from the woman reviewer at WaPo for Captain Marvel:

As shaky and unfocused as "Captain Marvel" often seems, it manages to reach its destination with confidence. In the end, Larson sticks the landing, albeit with something more muted than absolute triumph.
Original Score: 2/4

Translation: This movie was hard to sit through, and Larson was really bad for the part, but I have to like it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (XSSCs)

19 So, despite casting Brie the movie is not cheesy enough?

Posted by: Darles Chickens at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (rkIFo)

20 Let's remake The Alamo with an all gurl cast.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (ptqGC)

21 Every page of the script betrays terror of what people might say about
the film on social media. Give Carol Danvers a love interest? Eek! No,
women can't be defined by the men in their lives! Make her vulnerable?
OMG, no, that's crazy. Feminine? What century are you from if you think
females should be feminine?



And worst of all, they removed her ass.

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (LL1Be)

22 IMDb has it listed as a 5.6/10 with 4941 reviews.


Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (IxRYM)

23 Seriously, Ace, Roth Cornet, in the ScreenJunkies review that you linked, has tons more charisma than Brie Larson.

Posted by: m at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (Scps5)

24 She's as cute and as talented as 10,000 other waitresses in the LA area. One wonders how she got the part, knowing what we do about the Hollywood system. (Thank you, Harvey)

Posted by: t-bird at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (TQyCa)

25 This isn't an arc, it's a straight line.

Like her butt.

Posted by: BadumTish SnareDrum the sockth at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (FhXTo)

26 Brie Larson won't age well.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 06, 2019 11:50 AM (ptqGC)


Neither will her career, me thinks.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (IXZGh)

27 I'm going to repeat this from yesterday, just for fun.

One word Captain Marvel movie re view:

Dis-assed-her!!

Posted by: Muldoon at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (m45I2)

28 The New York Times says The yellow tabby cat delivers a tour de force. Its on-screen chemistry with Samuel L. Jackson will leave you begging for a sequel!.

Posted by: Movie Trailer Voice at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (YA914)

29 Well, according to Slate, the very fact that this Force is Female movie is boring, misconceived, incompetent and embarrassing is actually a triumph for women, as it proves that women can make awful movies, just like men.

==========

But I've already seen Punisher War Zone.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (XSSCs)

30 Or it's not gouda nuff?

Posted by: Darles Chickens at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (rkIFo)

31 If you are waiting for another Gal Gadot, you are gonna wait a long time. Smokin hot Israelis are not exactly thick on the ground in Hollywood.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (CPk08)

32 Holy crap, they actually show her abandon her kids because grrrl power?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - una gadda davida at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (ZIm4z)

33 This review left me feeling flat. Like Captain Marvel's ass.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (X12/X)

34 Next up , woke Top Gun re-make.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (1ISKN)

35 Get woke, go fuck yourself.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (IXZGh)

36 I can't believe that nobody in Hollywood wants to actually make a good movie and make money.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (YslsA)

37 Shouldn't that be Captain-Ette?

Posted by: It's me donna at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (O2RFr)

38 This review left me feeling flat. Like Captain Marvel's ass.
Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman


Move over Rachel Corrie!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (IxRYM)

39 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes? She has already hit the wall before the first one began filming. She will be menopausal by film #4 or #5. And plastic surgery by the 2nd.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (iSh8b)

40 I hope Disney really did do those reshoots for endgame shrinking Marvel's roll the rumors say they did.

Posted by: Iblis at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (EbjeT)

41 Has anyone mentioned Larson has a flat ass?

Posted by: JackStraw at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (/tuJf)

42 Real conversation yesterday ...
Wife - But Son, you wanted to see Wonder Woman
Boy - Yeah. But Gal Gadot's hot.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (X12/X)

43 36 I can't believe that nobody in Hollywood wants to actually make a good movie and make money.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (YslsA)

============

They only want to make money.

If they have to make good movies to do that, then they'll try it.

The thing is, the American public doesn't really demand great movies. How much money has the Transformer series made?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (XSSCs)

44 39 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes? She has already hit the wall before the first one began filming. She will be menopausal by film #4 or #5. And plastic surgery by the 2nd.
Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (iSh8b)

And very, very rich.

Posted by: m at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (Scps5)

45 What's next? Is Captain America going to come out of the closet?

Posted by: Fritz at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (2Mnv1)

46 Has anyone mentioned Larson has a flat ass?
Posted by: JackStraw

Nope. Not one mention

Posted by: Bruce at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (8ikIW)

47 #OrangeCatGood

Posted by: t-bird at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (f6lTY)

48 I still want it not to be bad. *sigh*

Posted by: Synova (reversion to pseudonymous) at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (BD/yx)

49 Coming in 2020: Animal Sorority House

Posted by: Movie Trailer Voice at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (YA914)

50 Brie Larson? Her ass flat though.

Posted by: Augustine at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (BDZWU)

51 Nope. Not one mention
Posted by: Bruce at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (8ikIW)


First I've heard of it.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (X12/X)

52 Gal Gadot's ass is not flat. It's spectacular.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (1ISKN)

53 I almost feel sorry for Brie Larson. Almost.

Posted by: nip at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (DfGpI)

54 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes? She has already hit the wall before the first one began filming. She will be menopausal by film #4 or #5. And plastic surgery by the 2nd.
Posted by: Dead Horses


The power of Depends compels you!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (IxRYM)

55 39 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes? She has already hit the wall before the first one began filming. She will be menopausal by film #4 or #5. And plastic surgery by the 2nd.
Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (iSh8b)

============

That's a standard Marvel contract now. Has been since right after Iron Man blew up. Robert Downey Jr. is super expensive because he was the first.

There were stories a few years back where Chris Hemsworth was mad that he only made low six figures for his appearance as Thor in the second Thor movie.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (XSSCs)

56 How many doughnuts did it take to make brie larsen's butt?

Posted by: Darth Chipmunk at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (t41dG)

57 This is the equivalent of NBC signing MeAgain for 3 years for 69 million dollars.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (iSh8b)

58 So, are we still taking bets as to whether this breaks $100 million in its opening weekend...or for its entire run?

Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (kOpft)

59 15 I'm happy w/my pop culture ignorance.
Posted by: BignJames at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (ykq7q)

I am extremely pop-culture ignorant. This is fun, though!

Posted by: m at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (Scps5)

60 The thing I can't figure out is why a good ten times in that linked review in the sidebar they say Brie Larson is such a great actress. They hammer it over and over and over, to the point its clearly desperate hoping that people won't consider them sexist for saying (without openly stating so) that she sucked?

I mean they praise the performance of literally every other main character and say nothing positive whatsoever about her. Even the CAT gets praise.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (39g3+)

61 Gal Gadot's ass is not flat. It's spectacular.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (1ISKN)


Gal Gadot has classic leading lady looks. Too bad Hollywood has nothing remotely approaching a classic leading lady script.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (X12/X)

62 Brie refuses to be the butt of anyone's jokes.*




(*reheated leftovers from yesterday)

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (LL1Be)

63 Let's remake The Alamo with an all gurl cast.

****

Trannies. Mexican machismo homophobia breaking up their wedding. Daniel Boone dies wearing a dress.

Posted by: Total Control Racist at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (OWGHC)

64 Look, all I'm saying is that if you're complimenting the orange cat for having more personality than the rest of the cast, and that cat is so awesome he ate a cosmic artifact?

You don't have a movie. You have a 2 hour Garfield comic.

Posted by: trev006 at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (fPLS0)

65 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes? She has already hit the wall before the first one began filming. She will be menopausal by film #4 or #5. And plastic surgery by the 2nd.
Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (iSh8b)

And very, very rich.
Posted by: m


Contracts were made to be broken.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (IxRYM)

66 FYI, This cinematic abortion has resulted in "Marvelous" becoming the new downlow insult for bad actors and movies in Hollywierd.

Posted by: The Walking Dude at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (cCxiu)

67 Wait, are people really spiking the football because a movie is being judged a 5 of 10, and that's awesome because a woman did it?

Seriously, folks, 5 of 10 is good now because vagina?

Isn't that pretty much the opposite of the "girls can do anything men can do" you're aiming for?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - una gadda davida at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (ZIm4z)

68 ITS FUNNY BECAUSE BREE LARSON HAS A FLAT ASS AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY EMOTIONAL RANGE IN THIS MOVIE: HER ACTING IS "FLAT". SO IT IS A PUN ON THE WORD FLAT.

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (CPk08)

69 It was between Brie and I for the lead.

I guess her oral skills put her over the top.

Posted by: The Ficus at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (vg8iE)

70 At least Steel Magnolias (the movie) had some guts and emotions that demonstrated how women sacrifice and love deeply.

This just sounds like propaganda for the Feminazis.

I will stay home and do my monthly breast exam to check for lumps. Much more exciting.

Posted by: Czech Chick at March 06, 2019 11:58 AM (BYUpI)

71 60 The thing I can't figure out is why a good ten times in that linked review in the sidebar they say Brie Larson is such a great actress. They hammer it over and over and over, to the point its clearly desperate hoping that people won't consider them sexist for saying (without openly stating so) that she sucked?

I mean they praise the performance of literally every other main character and say nothing positive whatsoever about her. Even the CAT gets praise.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (39g3+)

============

Watching 21 Jump Street and then Room back to back, it's easy to see how she can be a very good actress. Very different characters, both played well.

And she won her Oscar for Room.

Still, doesn't mean she's actually good.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 11:58 AM (XSSCs)

72 Contracts were made to be broken.
Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (IxRYM)


Her pelvis will probably be broken by the time she's thirty-five. Due to inadequate support.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 11:58 AM (X12/X)

73 64 Look, all I'm saying is that if you're complimenting the orange cat for having more personality than the rest of the cast, and that cat is so awesome he ate a cosmic artifact?

You don't have a movie. You have a 2 hour Garfield comic.

Posted by: trev006 at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (fPLS0)

Hmm, that sounds better than the movie.

Posted by: Someguy at March 06, 2019 11:58 AM (dy5uS)

74 BORING MOVIE GOOD

Posted by: tachyonshuggy at March 06, 2019 11:58 AM (L2q0D)

75 Let's re-make Predator with all chicks and then they can go on to be state governors.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 06, 2019 11:58 AM (1ISKN)

76 63 Let's remake The Alamo with an all gurl cast.

****

Trannies. Mexican machismo homophobia breaking up their wedding. Daniel Boone dies wearing a dress.
Posted by: Total Control Racist at March 06, 2019 11:56 AM (OWGHC)

-----------

Daniel Boone had a time machine?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 11:59 AM (gC2IV)

77 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes? She has already hit the wall before the first one began filming. She will be menopausal by film #4 or #5. And plastic surgery by the 2nd.
Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 11:54 AM (iSh8b)

She's already scheduled for an Ass Inflation.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at March 06, 2019 11:59 AM (3sjI6)

78 Robert Downey Jr. is super expensive because he was the first.

Well, and for the first films up to this point, Iron Man has been the main character, even when its not his film. Civil War, even Spider-Man Homecoming. This hasn't been the Marvel Universe, its been the Iron Man universe.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 11:59 AM (39g3+)

79
I will stay home and do my monthly breast exam to check for lumps. Much more exciting.

Posted by: Czech Chick at March 06, 2019 11:58 AM (BYUpI)


I volunteer as a 2nd set of hands.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 11:59 AM (IXZGh)

80 65

Contracts were made to be broken.
Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (IxRYM)

===========

It's Marvel's option to make more movies with her.

I doubt the contract even ties her exclusively to the Captain Marvel character.

They could chose to drop her and continue the character with someone else, and she'd be unable to do anything about it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 11:59 AM (XSSCs)

81 >>>Brie Larson? Her ass flat though.<<<

No whey!

Posted by: Fritz at March 06, 2019 11:59 AM (2Mnv1)

82 > And worst of all, they removed her ass.

Yes. Being in a superhero movie doesn't require Olivier or Dench-level acting skills. It requires the ability to look good in spandex.

This is equally true for both males and females.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 11:59 AM (0OWcv)

83 Chris Hemsworth made $150,000 for the first Thor. RDJr. made only $500,000 for the first Iron Man.

Brie Larson made $5 M for the first Captain Marvel.

Wage inequality much?!

Posted by: ace at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (PbpT7)

84 Nice ass!

Oh.

Sorry. That's her face.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (Dh1wo)

85 Brie Larson won't age well.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 06, 2019 11:50 AM (ptqGC)



Neither will her career, me thinks.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (IXZGh)

She's under contract for 5 more movies in the role.
I'll be interested to see if those contractual obligations get fulfilled Meghan Kelly style.

Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (kOpft)

86 She's not even eye candy.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (37IEG)

87 Needs greater depth and range of emotion from the lead....Bestiality or necrophilia wouldn't hurt either.

Posted by: Kristen Stewart at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (6rX0K)

88 Hmm. Sounds like a movie that needs Sammy Jackson or Morgan Freeman.

Or a sassy woman of color sidekick

Posted by: Bruce at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (8ikIW)

89 That poor Brie Larson. She just doesn't have what it takes to make it in Hollywood.

Posted by: Allison Williams at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (X12/X)

90 83 Chris Hemsworth made $150,000 for the first Thor. RDJr. made only $500,000 for the first Iron Man.

Brie Larson made $5 M for the first Captain Marvel.

Wage inequality much?!
Posted by: ace at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (PbpT7)

==============

It's to punish the men.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (XSSCs)

91 >>Smokin hot Israelis are not exactly thick on the ground in Hollywood. Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 06, 2019 11:52 AM (CPk0

Smokin hot German: Antje Traue.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (Bdeb0)

92 68 ITS FUNNY BECAUSE BREE LARSON HAS A FLAT ASS AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY EMOTIONAL RANGE IN THIS MOVIE: HER ACTING IS "FLAT". SO IT IS A PUN ON THE WORD FLAT.
Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER

thank you for clarifying, Ben!

Posted by: ace at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (PbpT7)

93 Daniel Boone had a time machine?

***

This is Hollywood, dude .

Posted by: Total Control Racist at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (OWGHC)

94 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes?

The next 6 will be straight to DVD.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (tVWQB)

95 If Brie had been friendly, nice, and charming (As Gal Godot was) in the pre-film publicity, she would at least be a sympathetic favorite. OK the film sucked but I like her anyway.

But she's been outright hostile to comic book fans and most of her audience, how's that supposed to work out?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (39g3+)

96 Chris Hemsworth made $150,000 for the first Thor. RDJr. made only $500,000 for the first Iron Man.


Shit, I made more than that. This is my shocked face.

Posted by: Kristen Stewart at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (6rX0K)

97 She's got NO ASS!!!!

Posted by: Al Pacino at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (PbpT7)

98
I can't believe the Orange Cat is a thing in this movie. LMFAO.
Posted by: Dead Horses


#OrangeCatBad

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (aKsyK)

99 Report: Hillary didn't mean to imply yesterday that she's definitely not running in 2020

Stick Her With A Fork

We all know that the moment she stops trying, the money dries up

Posted by: Ariana Grande at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (SmPBN)

100 36 I can't believe that nobody in Hollywood wants to actually make a good movie and make money.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (YslsA)

They think they've got it rigged so that they make money no matter what. They don't understand, or care, that they're killing their entire industry.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (Kpl3J)

101 83 Chris Hemsworth made $150,000 for the first Thor. RDJr. made only $500,000 for the first Iron Man.

Brie Larson made $5 M for the first Captain Marvel.

Wage inequality much?!

Posted by: ace at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (PbpT7)

I'm rooting for them to invest more money in this series.

Poetic justice for the lot of them.

Posted by: Someguy at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (dy5uS)

102 Slate literally parodying theirselves.

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (SkuXa)

103 At my age, I'm bored by all superhero movies. I was not going to see it even if it was actually good.

Posted by: WisRich at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (G0vdT)

104 Food for thought:

Bruce Jenner was named Woman of the Year.

Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (w7KSn)

105 Seriously, folks, 5 of 10 is good now because vagina?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - una gadda davida at March 06, 2019 11:57 AM (ZIm4z)

Well, it works for porn movies!

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (3sjI6)

106 Go figure... feminist cat ladies approve of movies about feminist cat ladies.

Posted by: Doin' The Math at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (7PCYH)

107 Smokin hot German: Antje Traue.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (Bdeb0)
In a Zod kind of way, for sure.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (CPk08)

108 As Insty says, you're allowed to acknowledge the differences between men and women so long as you conclude women are better

Posted by: RoyalOil, Vicroy Canadian Territories at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (TN1P5)

109 Next up , woke Top Gun re-make.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (1ISKN)

PLEASE don't give them any ideas...Still Top Gun is the gayest movie ever.

Posted by: Timon at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (dKm4U)

110
The next 6 will be straight to DVD.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (tVWQB)
Of such high quality they'll be released before they're filmed.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (37IEG)

111 Superheroes are defined by their limitations -- Superman's Kryptonite, Batman's mortality -- but Captain Marvel is just an invincible bore.

That's a great line.

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (aqWH5)

112 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes?

At least one is Avengers 4, so that's 2 out of 7 out of the way. She probably won't need surgery until film 4 or so.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (39g3+)

113 Helmsworth only made 150k for Thor. Dude looked like he had to work 24/7365 to prepare for that role.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (iSh8b)

114 95 If Brie had been friendly, nice, and charming (As Gal Godot was) in the pre-film publicity, she would at least be a sympathetic favorite. OK the film sucked but I like her anyway.

But she's been outright hostile to comic book fans and most of her audience, how's that supposed to work out?
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (39g3+)

=============

I think Marvel and Disney made the calculation that this would be a cultural touchstone for women like Black Panther was for black people.

The problem is that the women they talk to, who happen to be arch feminists, aren't that representative of the female population in general.

Oh, and Wonder Woman already did it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (XSSCs)

115 Brie Larson made $5 M for the first Captain Marvel.

Wage inequality much?!

Posted by: ace at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (PbpT7)


Why does she look so damned angry?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (ptqGC)

116 When it comes out on HBO I'll watch 77% of it.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (gC2IV)

117 Superheroes are defined by their limitations -- Superman's Kryptonite, Batman's mortality -- but Captain Marvel is just an invincible bore

But grrl power.

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (aqWH5)

118 They think they've got it rigged so that they make
money no matter what. They don't understand, or care, that they're
killing their entire industry.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (Kpl3J)


Ain't it good to be the king ? Now pass the bourbon please, ol' boy.

Posted by: The Republican Establishment at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (X12/X)

119 I think I'd rather watch Seven of Nine than this movie.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (tVWQB)

120 I clicked on some pants link on the HQ and started getting bombarded with ads for pants. Bad pants. I suffered for a day or two and now can report on the obvious advantages of occasional shopping for lingerie and bras for well endowed women.

Posted by: scottst at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (NFtYw)

121 Give them credit, they didn't cast the Korean girl from Star Wars as the lead.

Posted by: t-bird at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (oTMWb)

122 >>But she's been outright hostile to comic book fans and most of her audience, how's that supposed to work out? Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (39g3+)

Like this: She's mean, comic book fans quim and squirm, rinse, repeat.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (Bdeb0)

123 109 Next up , woke Top Gun re-make.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (1ISKN)

PLEASE don't give them any ideas...Still Top Gun is the gayest movie ever.
Posted by: Timon at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (dKm4U)

===========

They're in the middle of filming the sequel.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (XSSCs)

124 104
Food for thought:



Bruce Jenner was named Woman of the Year.

Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM(w7KSn)



Demonstrating that the only things men can't do better than women is have babies and making sammiches.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (CPk08)

125 Chris Hemsworth made $150,000 for the first Thor. RDJr. made only $500,000 for the first Iron Man.



Brie Larson made $5 M for the first Captain Marvel.



The glass ceiling is also a glass floor.


Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (LL1Be)

126 Coming in 2020: Animal Sorority House
Posted by: Movie Trailer Voice at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (YA914)

Now that could actually be funny, if done properly.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (nPGq2)

127 > Daniel Boone had a time machine?

Daniel Boone was a man.
Yes, a biiii-iiig man.
But now he's a gurl,
With a string of pearls,
Drinking tea.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (0OWcv)

128 is it a real cat or a CGI cat?

seems like an important question for this film

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (RKQ/v)

129 This is every female comic book character now written by women.They beat any man with one punch and snark.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (BXMxN)

130 I don't think contracts really mean anything. They had a bunch of people signed for a monster verse until The Mummy came completely unwrapped right?

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (SkuXa)

131 78 Robert Downey Jr. is super expensive because he was the first.

Well, and for the first films up to this point, Iron Man has been the main character, even when its not his film. Civil War, even Spider-Man Homecoming. This hasn't been the Marvel Universe, its been the Iron Man universe.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 11:59 AM (39g3+)

And Iron Man is interesting because he's a self-important douche, even after he got woke. I LOVE Iron Man and the way he's written and how he's played by Downey. He's insufferable 90% of the time. Then, when he tries to serve others and "save the world" he's even worse. But when he's forced into actual heroism and self-sacrifice it's tragic and wonderful.

Posted by: Synova (reversion to pseudonymous) at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (BD/yx)

132 Also Brie Larson is so man hatey I wonder if she recently got her heart broken by some dde.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (BXMxN)

133 So, you're saying they basically made her a eunich and thought it would be entertaining.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (IXZGh)

134 Playing, staying with the boys (the boys)!

Posted by: Maverick at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (SkuXa)

135 Sponge


And congrats to Duke Lowell, for the double first "Sponge!" today.

So far.

Posted by: FIRST!!!!! at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (d8iVQ)

136 Her weakness is toxoplasmosis.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (iSh8b)

137 Hoyer: we may not vote on House resolution this week.



Lmfao

Posted by: Ha at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (MAstk)

138 I hope Disney really did do those reshoots for endgame shrinking Marvel's roll the rumors say they did.
---
I like the rumor but part of me hopes it's bullshit.

Disney are true believers. They can't, having announced her 'major role' in defeating Thanos, not deliver on that *and* base the next ten years of movies around her (which is the current plan)..

The abject destruction of the MCU after Infinity War's, what, $3 billion take last year, might finally be enough to end the SJW propaganda.

Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (kOpft)

139 Best explanation I've heard so far: Kevin Feige, who until now seemed too savvy to let this happen, knew he had a stinker on his hands, so unleashed Brie Larson so they'd be able to say "It's toxic MEN's fault" when it bombs.

There's too much anticipation for Endgame, so they can take the hit, then win back the crowd if Endgame is just decent.

Of course, this does nothing to help people like me who've been sick of superhero movies for the last 5 years or so.

Posted by: Jessica Goldberg's Strapping Volcano of Man-Love at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (pPQeR)

140 While I don't care about the movie per se, I am loving the absolute glee with which ace has been ripping it apart.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (fuK7c)

141 This will probably be the most I have enjoyed not going to a movie in a long time.

Posted by: Eromero at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (zLDYs)

142 Superheroes are defined by their limitations --
Superman's Kryptonite, Batman's mortality -- but Captain Marvel is just
an invincible bore.


Come on - be fair. It's not Brie Larson's fault that the writer's ignored Captain Marvel's inability to sit on a park bench without a tailbone pillow.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (X12/X)

143 Also Brie Larson is so man hatey I wonder if she recently got her heart broken by some dde.
Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (BXMxN)


That's a GREAT reason to shit all over your career and every studio hiring you for parts.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (IXZGh)

144 Oh, and Wonder Woman already did it.

Well and there's been a zillion grrl power women in charge movies in the past. Big films. Huge favorites. Black Panther wasn't exactly treading new ground, but it was fresh enough that the other films like it were pretty few or very minor. And Black Panther was a pretty well developed character with an extensive background and history.

Captain Marvel as a character has been around since the 60s, but its been like eight different people, and the Carl Danvers version is pretty recent without much backstory or great writing in the past.

I mean, they managed anyway with Ant-Man, who was a colossal prick int he comics so they had to reinvent him entirely, but apparently the writers were so afraid of making people mad and so fixated on making the film a grrl power statement that they couldn't come up with a character here.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:06 PM (39g3+)

145 >>Also Brie Larson is so man hatey I wonder if she recently got her heart broken by some dde.

You'd be bitter too if you were born without an ass.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 06, 2019 12:06 PM (/tuJf)

146 > I clicked on some pants link on the HQ and started getting bombarded with ads for pants. Bad pants.

Go with Haggar. Just ask LBJ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR_myjOr0OU

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:06 PM (0OWcv)

147 She's like the Michelle Fields of butts.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 06, 2019 12:06 PM (tVWQB)

148 130 I don't think contracts really mean anything. They had a bunch of people signed for a monster verse until The Mummy came completely unwrapped right?
Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at March 06, 2019 12:04 PM (SkuXa)

=============

I think it's always at the whim of the studio whether to use the actors or not based on previous successes and benchmarks.

So, yeah, they signed Johnny Depp to a contract to be the Invisible Man, but they chose not to go forward with it when The Mummy bombed. They might have had to pay him something anyway, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:07 PM (XSSCs)

149 Hey Ace, good job on yesterday's Captain Marvel post explaining who she is.

Burn, Brie, burn.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:07 PM (bcbK8)

150 Ctrl+C Ctrl+V

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at March 06, 2019 12:07 PM (Lr3FA)

151 Amazon Prime has been roadblocking every single episode of every show I watch there with ads for some new series they're bringing out about - you guessed it - some super grrl who has to fight the patriarchy that keeps super grrls down.

Though I've seen this ad at least 50 times in the last month, I couldn't tell you the name of the show to save my life.

Because this all just so trite and repetitive.

*YAWN*

Posted by: Bored By All Of This at March 06, 2019 12:07 PM (7PCYH)

152 She's not even eye candy.
Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 06, 2019 12:00 PM (37IEG)

In the hierarchy of eye candy, she is Circus Peanuts.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 06, 2019 12:07 PM (nPGq2)

153 No Ass ? No Peace !!!

Posted by: Brie Larson at March 06, 2019 12:07 PM (X12/X)

154 They could make a movie with Gal Godot talking and running around and just being Gal Godot and I would pay 15 dollars to see that.

I don't care if you call her Wonder Woman or vanilla custard. I'd go.

And another thing, Spanky. If she doesn't show up in a James Bond movie one of these days, I will be highly disappointed.

Highly.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (1beh4)

155 95 If Brie had been friendly, nice, and charming (As Gal Godot was) in the pre-film publicity, she would at least be a sympathetic favorite. OK the film sucked but I like her anyway.

But she's been outright hostile to comic book fans and most of her audience, how's that supposed to work out?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (39g3+)

This! I can't believe the studio didn't tell her to knock that shit off.

Posted by: Tami at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (cF8AT)

156 139 Best explanation I've heard so far: Kevin Feige, who until now seemed too savvy to let this happen, knew he had a stinker on his hands, so unleashed Brie Larson so they'd be able to say "It's toxic MEN's fault" when it bombs.

There's too much anticipation for Endgame, so they can take the hit, then win back the crowd if Endgame is just decent.

Of course, this does nothing to help people like me who've been sick of superhero movies for the last 5 years or so.
Posted by: Jessica Goldberg's Strapping Volcano of Man-Love at March 06, 2019 12:05 PM (pPQeR)

============

That seems suspiciously close to the New Coke theory that says that Coke execs intentionally tanked New Coke to boost Classic Coke sales.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (XSSCs)

157 Or a sassy woman of color sidekick
Don't make me break a foot off in yo ass!

Posted by: my white momma at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (Dh1wo)

158 This is what you get when you hire writers based on their gender and their politics instead of their understanding of superheroes and character.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (bcbK8)

159 An all female remake of Top Gun? Short movie as the girl Maverick crashes her F-14 into the fantail of the Nimitz right after the opening credits.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (gC2IV)

160 Hey Ace, good job on yesterday's Captain Marvel post explaining who she is.

Burn, Brie, burn.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:07 PM (bcbK

Cheese doesn't burn, it melts.

Posted by: Cheese covered Surfperch at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (Lr3FA)

161 Holy Fuck ... not only can this bitch not act, she has no ass !!!

Posted by: The Cat in Captain Marvel at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (X12/X)

162 Trannies. Mexican machismo homophobia breaking up their wedding. Daniel Boone dies wearing a dress.

Point of order since today is the 183rd anniversary of the fall of the Alamo. Daniel Boone was not at the Alamo; Davy Crockett was.

Posted by: Bob the Bilderberg's phone at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (PgSJG)

163 Kevin Feige, who until now seemed too savvy to let this happen, knew he had a stinker on his hands, so unleashed Brie Larson so they'd be able to say "It's toxic MEN's fault"
-----------

Worked great for Lady Ghostbusters, they only lost $100 mil or so.

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (SkuXa)

164 This is every female comic book character now written by women.They beat any man with one punch and snark.

This is not a joke. The actual action scenes of using powers and being a hero are taunting and the villain acting all tough, then the superheroine taking him out with one hand while doing her nails, a single panel. Then they go back to talking.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (39g3+)

165 The meme I saw yesterday with the cartoon chick and the saggy ass Brie costume was quite funny.....

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (IXZGh)

166 Being Gal Godot itself is a super power.

Swearsies.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (1beh4)

167 so fixated on making the film a grrl power statement that they couldn't come up with a character here.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:06 PM (39g3+)

That's the perfect summary of Hollywood's failings these days. They are so wrapped up in their ideologies and turning everything into a political statement that they've forgotten that they're making entertainment products that should aim for broad appeal.

If most people want to be preached to, they'll go to a church or a rally. It's not something they want out of their movie experience.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (J+mig)

168 And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes?



The next 6 will be straight to DVD.
---
Disney's streaming service, more likely

Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (kOpft)

169 > It's not Brie Larson's fault that the writer's ignored Captain Marvel's inability to sit on a park bench without a tailbone pillow.


Weaknesses:

Superman: Kryptonite
Iron Man: booze
Batman: teenage "wards"
Captain Marvel: stadium seating

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (0OWcv)

170 Baked brie with maple syrup and pecans .. mmmm

Posted by: JackStraw at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (/tuJf)

171 158
This is what you get when you hire writers based on their gender and
their politics instead of their understanding of superheroes and
character.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (bcbK


It's almost as though an obsession with ideology makes for dull art. Hunh. Who'da thought.

Posted by: Ayn Rand at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (CPk08)

172 158 This is what you get when you hire writers based on their gender and their politics instead of their understanding of superheroes and character.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (bcbK

===========

Small retort:

Nicholas Meyer had never seen a single episode of Star Trek before he was hired to direct Star Trek II.

Love of the source material is not required to tell a compelling story in an established universe. Understand of storytelling is.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (XSSCs)

173 Point of order since today is the 183rd anniversary
of the fall of the Alamo. Daniel Boone was not at the Alamo; Davy
Crockett was.

Posted by: Bob the Bilderberg's phone at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (PgSJG)


In the all gurl Alamo remake, Davy Crockett will be played by an assless Brie Larson.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (ptqGC)

174 Brie is a mediocrity. The scowl she wears in every pic, is that supposed to convey strength and resolve? Epic fail.

Posted by: JuJuBee at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (4KIAS)

175 This! I can't believe the studio didn't tell her to knock that shit off.
Posted by: Tami at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (cF8AT)


You go tell a Woke Social Justice Woman and Ass Amputee to shut up !!! We're keeping our mouths shut.

Posted by: Hollywood Executives at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (X12/X)

176 Got damn Brie Larson have no ass, man! Bitch needs to do some squats stat. Not fucking that long dick style.

Bruh!

Posted by: I'm Tyrone, fucking wives and saving lives at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (BDZWU)

177 I have to disagree with James Madison about Hollywood's motives. The best selling subgenre for books is romantic suspense, every year. When's the last time the major studios put out a romantic suspense movie?
There's an agenda, and making money is not it.

Posted by: artemis at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (AwPyG)

178 An all female remake of Top Gun? Short movie as the girl Maverick crashes her F-14 into the fantail of the Nimitz right after the opening credits.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM




Or taxis off the end of the deck after landing because...parking.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (0tfLf)

179 The glass ceiling is also a glass floor.

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:03 PM (LL1Be)

Is that so we can look up their dress?

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (3sjI6)

180 155 95 If Brie had been friendly, nice, and charming (As Gal Godot was) in the pre-film publicity, she would at least be a sympathetic favorite. OK the film sucked but I like her anyway.

But she's been outright hostile to comic book fans and most of her audience, how's that supposed to work out?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM (39g3+)

This! I can't believe the studio didn't tell her to knock that shit off.
Posted by: Tami at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (cF8AT)

Oh to be a fly on Kevin Feige's back for the last year.

There HAS to be some bullshit going on. I can't imagine someone who's managed to avoid culture war bullshit flipping like this without someone pushing him.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (bcbK8)

181 132 Also Brie Larson is so man hatey I wonder if she recently got her heart broken by some dde."

What I'd like to see for the Next Captain Marvel movie is that she hooks up with Jeff Goldblum's Grandmaster character and he bangs her so hard that she falls for him totally, and she ends up doing meth and living in a trailer park while Goldy pimps her out and calls her Cap'tin MarvuLICIOUS, and then Superman has to fly over and put her down just because it's all gotten so gawdammed embarrassing for everyone.

See not that's a Brie Larson movie everyone could cheer for!

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (Kpl3J)

182 > In the hierarchy of eye candy, she is Circus Peanuts.

Ha! Stolen and saved for future use.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (0OWcv)

183 163 Kevin Feige, who until now seemed too savvy to let this happen, knew he had a stinker on his hands, so unleashed Brie Larson so they'd be able to say "It's toxic MEN's fault"
-----------

Worked great for Lady Ghostbusters, they only lost $100 mil or so.
Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (SkuXa)

=============

The official number is $70 million loss. I call BS on that. The movie needed to clear $500 million to break even, and it didn't even get to $230 million. That movie lost closer to $300 million than just $70.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (XSSCs)

184 Dude, where's my Ass?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (DQjsT)

185 121 Give them credit, they didn't cast the Korean girl from Star Wars as the lead.

I feel kinda sorry for her. It should have been a big career break, but she ended up collateral damage from the woke stinkbomb that was TLJ.

Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (8erNz)

186 That seems suspiciously close to the New Coke theory that says that Coke execs intentionally tanked New Coke to boost Classic Coke sales.


I think it was more evil than that. It's Big Corn. Coke had real sugar in it, New Coke was a Macguffin, Classic Coke when it came back had corn syrup.

Fuck corn syrup. Did you know that you can buy Mexican Coke and it's made with real sugar? Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who thinks that's a good idea?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (fuK7c)

187 This movie will bomb globally.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (iSh8b)

188 Years from now I will be at a garage sale and see the captain marvel DVD for sale for a dime. I will purchase it and use it as a coaster.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (pw+jk)

189 I noticed that her ass is pretty flat. Anybody else catch that?

Posted by: FIRST!!!!! at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (d8iVQ)

190
the superheroine taking him out with one hand while doing her nails

Shazam! It's Ana Navarro!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (aKsyK)

191 I want to see a classic courtroom drama remade.

Twelve Angry Women

Posted by: JuJuBee at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (4KIAS)

192 >>some super grrl who has to fight the patriarchy that keeps super grrls down

New superhero: Patriarchy Smirk

"...what's this?? Batgirl? Captured in Smirk's hypnotic male gaze? Looks like privilege gone AMOK!

"Tune in next time...same Bat time, same Bat channel!"

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (Bdeb0)

193 -
--
And Marvel signed her for 7 films, yes?





The next 6 will be straight to DVD.
---
Disney's streaming service, more likely


Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM

-------------------------------

Animated. She'll just do the voice, the animators will handle the "acting". Also they can draw an ass on her.

Posted by: irright at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (pMGkg)

194 One thing's for sure, Brie Larson will never be forcibly integrated into to a Human Centipede.

At least not the front half.

Posted by: The Stumpless Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (X12/X)

195 They could make a movie with Gal Godot talking and running around and
just being Gal Godot and I would pay 15 dollars to see that.



I don't care if you call her Wonder Woman or vanilla custard. I'd go.


They should put her in one of those Carl's Jr. commercials.

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (LL1Be)

196 > Or taxis off the end of the deck after landing because...parking.

Or demands that the stick be replaced with a clitoris.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (0OWcv)

197 "Well, according to Slate, the very fact that this Force is Female movie is boring, misconceived, incompetent and embarrassing is actually a triumph for women, as it proves that women can make awful movies, just like men."


We had girl Ghostbusters.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Break Progressive Minds with a Trumpinator From The Outrage Outlet! at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (hLRSq)

198 I believe ace linked an article awhile back by some professors somewhere arguing that the new hot marketing strategy would be to deliberately target a specific political niche, even though you'll likely alienate a large portion of the population.

So I don't think it's that farfetched to believe that a studio would purposefully politicize a movie they know is shit in hopes it would drive a small but driven segment to see it.

Stupid, yes, but not farfetched.

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (SkuXa)

199 172 158 This is what you get when you hire writers based on their gender and their politics instead of their understanding of superheroes and character.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (bcbK

===========

Small retort:

Nicholas Meyer had never seen a single episode of Star Trek before he was hired to direct Star Trek II.

Love of the source material is not required to tell a compelling story in an established universe. Understand of storytelling is.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (XSSCs)

Nicholas Meyer had worked on 'Time After Time', so he understood character.

You HAVE to understand one or the other to make a good comic book movie.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (bcbK8)

200 187 This movie will bomb globally.
Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (iSh8b)

=============

I still think it's going to do on par with Dr. Strange.

So, roughly $750 million total.

I'll happily be wrong.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (XSSCs)

201 Short movie as the girl Maverick crashes her F-14 into the fantail of the Nimitz right after the opening credits.

No. You're forgetting the two and ahalf hours of Congressional inquiries into the military culture that failed this fine pilot and compelled her to strike a carrier captained by a male.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (1beh4)

202 I think it was more evil than that. It's Big Corn.
Coke had real sugar in it, New Coke was a Macguffin, Classic Coke when
it came back had corn syrup.



Fuck corn syrup. Did you know that you can buy Mexican Coke and
it's made with real sugar? Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who
thinks that's a good idea?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (fuK7c)

Coke marked Kosher for Passover uses cane sugar, btw. So do your shopping a week before passover.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 06, 2019 12:13 PM (CPk08)

203 Brie is a mediocrity. The scowl she wears in every pic, is that supposed to convey strength and resolve? Epic fail.
Posted by: JuJuBee at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (4KIAS)

Hollywood, and women in general, think that acting like a man means raising your voice. They just don't realize how annoyingly shrill their voices are.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at March 06, 2019 12:13 PM (3sjI6)

204 I think the easiest way to understand Hollywood is that they are not trying to market a product to the consumer, they are trying to market themselves to each other.
See: NY publishing

Posted by: artemis at March 06, 2019 12:13 PM (AwPyG)

205 I like comics & geeky shit, but if you need to be emotionally validated by what happens to make believe characters in fantasy movies, then you have more issues than National Geographic.

Posted by: josephistan at March 06, 2019 12:13 PM (7HtZB)

206 > Did you know that you can buy Mexican Coke and it's made with real sugar?

Also kosher-for-Passover coke. You can usually get it if there are a reasonable number of Jews living in your area.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:13 PM (0OWcv)

207 >>Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who thinks that's a good idea? Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (fuK7c)

I do. They have a pretty hard life down there.

Empathy Zod.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:13 PM (Bdeb0)

208 Pretty sure that Pepsi at least sells a real sugar version.Now that everyone hates corn syrup like it's the new gluten...

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:13 PM (BXMxN)

209 199
Nicholas Meyer had worked on 'Time After Time', so he understood character.

You HAVE to understand one or the other to make a good comic book movie.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (bcbK

============

I actually get suspicious of filmmakers who go on about how big of fans of the original they are.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (XSSCs)

210 198 I believe ace linked an article awhile back by some professors somewhere arguing that the new hot marketing strategy would be to deliberately target a specific political niche, even though you'll likely alienate a large portion of the population. "

What this means is that "Captain Marvel" is a progressive version of a Chick Tract.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (Kpl3J)

211 186 That seems suspiciously close to the New Coke theory that says that Coke execs intentionally tanked New Coke to boost Classic Coke sales.


I think it was more evil than that. It's Big Corn. Coke had real sugar in it, New Coke was a Macguffin, Classic Coke when it came back had corn syrup.

Fuck corn syrup. Did you know that you can buy Mexican Coke and it's made with real sugar? Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who thinks that's a good idea?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (fuK7c)

They're making Coke and Pepsi with sugar in the US now too. The Coke with sugar is charged a premium price :-/

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (bcbK8)

212 Needs bigger tits.

Posted by: wth at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (v0R5T)

213 203 Brie is a mediocrity. The scowl she wears in every pic, is that supposed to convey strength and resolve? Epic fail.
Posted by: JuJuBee at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (4KIAS)
===

What is her non-existent ass supposed to convey?

Posted by: Augustine at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (BDZWU)

214 Fuck corn syrup. Did you know that you can buy Mexican Coke and
it's made with real sugar? Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who
thinks that's a good idea?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (fuK7c)

Yeah, but when you snort it you go into a diabetic coma.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (3sjI6)

215 Whereas early feminists campaigned tirelessly for improved health care and safe, legal access to abortion, often against a backdrop of public indifference or hostility, today's feminist asserts control over her biological destiny by wearing a baby-doll T-shirt with the word "Hoochie" spelled in glitter.

*snort*

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (LL1Be)

216 Thanks for the Passover Coke tip!

Every once in a while I like to pick up a couple of Mexican Cokes and a bag of those retro Doritos (Taco Flavor!) and just retro out.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (DQjsT)

217 Anything produced that doesn't allow women to be actual women, I'm out on.

Along with most red blooded American men that don't lactate soy, I would think.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (IXZGh)

218 178 An all female remake of Top Gun? Short movie as the girl Maverick crashes her F-14 into the fantail of the Nimitz right after the opening credits.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM



Or taxis off the end of the deck after landing because...parking.
Posted by: Diogenes at March 06, 2019 12:10 PM (0tfLf)

---------

Right into the danger zo

The End

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 12:15 PM (gC2IV)

219 209 199
Nicholas Meyer had worked on 'Time After Time', so he understood character.

You HAVE to understand one or the other to make a good comic book movie.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (bcbK

============

I actually get suspicious of filmmakers who go on about how big of fans of the original they are.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (XSSCs)

Sure, bullshit comes out of their mouth as naturally as CO2.

But filmmakers who are ACTUAL fans, them I'm more likely to trust.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:15 PM (bcbK8)

220 If they wanted to be so "woke"; why didn't they stuff Lena Dunham squat, tub of goo into the "pleather" tights? Go big or go home.

Posted by: pahound at March 06, 2019 12:15 PM (BTevZ)

221 Need more ass. The girl, the movie is overflowing with ass.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at March 06, 2019 12:15 PM (pw+jk)

222 Suck it haters !!! My non-ass isn't for you, anyway !!!

Posted by: Brie Larson at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (X12/X)

223 NOW IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE PRETENDING THAT THEY HAVEN'T HEARD ANYONE SAY THAT BRIE LARSON'S ASS IS FLAT, EVEN THOUGH HER ASS IS REALLY FLAT AND IT'S ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU NOTICE ABOUT HER. ALSO JOKES ABOUT PEOPLE'S BUMS ARE FUNNY.

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (CPk08)

224 Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who
thinks that's a good idea?

***

And they run away from it! Mexicans love that corn in all its forms

Posted by: Total Control Racist at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (NjJyK)

225 201 Short movie as the girl Maverick crashes her F-14 into the fantail of the Nimitz right after the opening credits.

No. You're forgetting the two and ahalf hours of Congressional inquiries into the military culture that failed this fine pilot and compelled her to strike a carrier captained by a male.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (1beh4)

Girl Maverick: "I'm not talking to that bitch Becky in the control tower! She knows why!"

Posted by: josephistan at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (7HtZB)

226 In the all gurl Alamo remake, Davy Crockett will be played by an assless Brie Larson.

"You can go to hell and I shall go to... Nah, you just go to hell." --Brie Larson

Posted by: Bob the Bilderberg's phone at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (PgSJG)

227 Fuck corn syrup. Did you know that you can buy Mexican Coke and it's made with real sugar? Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who thinks that's a good idea?

Coca-Cola Corporate and Archer Daniels Midland.

The Mexican stuff is widely available around here, and once you've had the real stuff you can't go back. I don't like Coke that much anyway. Mexican Squirt is the bomb.

Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (8erNz)

228 > In the all gurl Alamo remake, Davy Crockett will be played by an assless Brie Larson.


Santa Anna will be played by OCrazyHo-DonkeyChompers.

Except this time she'll be the good guy.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (0OWcv)

229 Small retort:



Nicholas Meyer had never seen a single episode of Star Trek before he was hired to direct Star Trek II.



Love of the source material is not required to tell a compelling
story in an established universe. Understand of storytelling is.
---
Lack of contempt for the primary audience is helpful, too

Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (kOpft)

230 digitally enhance her tits and ass for another showing ... and see if the reviews get better.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (Cus5s)

231 219
Sure, bullshit comes out of their mouth as naturally as CO2.

But filmmakers who are ACTUAL fans, them I'm more likely to trust.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:15 PM (bcbK

==============

If given a choice of two filmmakers:

1) Loves the source material but can't tell a story

or

2) Has never heard of the source material, but can tell a story

I'd go with 2.

It helps that I don't expect adaptations to be at all reflective of their source material.

Francois Truffaut, interestingly enough, disagreed with me. The first part of his famous essay that introduced Auteur Theory is all about a pair of French screenwriters who intentionally undermined the points of the original novels.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (XSSCs)

232 Who thought that building an entire movie plot around your completely unpopular social agenda, which is only a hit with your sycophants, would fail miserably at the box office?

Come to think of it, maybe they did. That's why they are trying to wipe the internet of any criticism.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (VpIIl)

233 The Independent has an article about chick only vacations. And #1 on the hit parade . . .

Hike in Morocco

Intrepid Travel has launched new limited edition women's expeditions, which are all about "breaking down barriers, fostering discussion and creating immersive local experiences for women that are ordinarily off limits on our regular group departures".


Its Morocco Women's Expedition is an off-map hiking adventure starting in Marrakech and going via the Bougmez Valley and the foothills of Azourki, before travellers get the chance to visit a women's rug-weaving co-op in Talsanant. An eight-day tour costs [675 pounds], including seven nights' BandB accommodation, four lunches, five dinners, transfers and a range of activities, from a local folklore workshop to a Berber makeup workshop.

-
"Breaking down barriers"? You mean like Chesterton's fence?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (+y/Ru)

234 Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (CPk0

The best part of the NFL was the QB's on Facebook site......I don't miss the NFL, but miss that site.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (IXZGh)

235 Now that they finished making a feminist-approved action movie, they are going to move on to make a feminist-approved comedy.

Posted by: Roy at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (xqdqQ)

236 Fuck corn syrup. Did you know that you can buy Mexican Coke and
it's made with real sugar? Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who
thinks that's a good idea?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:11 PM (fuK7c)
Coke marked Kosher for Passover uses cane sugar, btw. So do your shopping a week before passover. "

That stuff is better - but there's been another change, too, and I'm not sure what it was. I remember being super thirsty when I was a kid, and I'd pour Coke down my throat and it would BURN, but it would burn so good! Totally quench my thirst.

Today's Coke ain't the same thing, it's kinda close, but it's not the same. The Coke that I loved as a kid is long gone.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (Kpl3J)

237 At my age, I'm bored by all superhero movies. I was not going to see it even if it was actually good.

Posted by: WisRich at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (G0vdT)


This.

Posted by: clutch cargo at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (sLicW)

238 Mexican Squirt is the bomb.

Don't drink the water.

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (LL1Be)

239 223 NOW IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE PRETENDING THAT THEY HAVEN'T HEARD ANYONE SAY THAT BRIE LARSON'S ASS IS FLAT, EVEN THOUGH HER ASS IS REALLY FLAT AND IT'S ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU NOTICE ABOUT HER. ALSO JOKES ABOUT PEOPLE'S BUMS ARE FUNNY.

Asses are overrated.

Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (8erNz)

240 212 Needs bigger tits.
Posted by: wth at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (v0R5T)

Good advice in any situation.

Posted by: josephistan at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (7HtZB)

241 It's almost as though an obsession with ideology makes for dull art. Hunh. Who'da thought.
Posted by: Ayn Rand at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (CPk0

LOL

Props for the sock game

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (bcbK8)

242 So did the National Review review manage to work in how it's all Trump's fault? I won't go read the whole thing because that rag is dead to me.

Posted by: I like cookies at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (xxAFD)

243 Jimmy Hoffa.

Russian Collusion.

Brie Larson's ass.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (1beh4)

244
CAPTAIN MARVEL LICKS
GREEN DONKEY BALLS

Posted by: pretty nice & on point! at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (pNxlR)

245 Should've casted Sophie Turner for the role.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (iSh8b)

246 235 Now that they finished making a feminist-approved action movie, they are going to move on to make a feminist-approved comedy.
Posted by: Roy at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (xqdqQ)

============

Amy Schumer has already made several movies.

I think you may be going backwards in time.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (XSSCs)

247 237 At my age, I'm bored by all superhero movies. I was not going to see it even if it was actually good.

Posted by: WisRich at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (G0vdT)

This.


I was bored by superhero movies when Christopher Reeve was Superman.

Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (8erNz)

248 Lack of contempt for the primary audience is helpful, too


Hmm. You think so?

Posted by: The NFL at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (fuK7c)

249 240 212 Needs bigger tits.
Posted by: wth at March 06, 2019 12:14 PM (v0R5T)

Good advice in any situation.
Posted by: josephistan at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (7HtZB)

That's like saying needs more ammo, or needs more bacon.

Posted by: Roy at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (xqdqQ)

250 Maybe Brie should be in the next Iron Man. At least then, they could giver her a mechanical ass.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (VpIIl)

251 Its Morocco Women's Expedition is an off-map hiking adventure starting
in Marrakech and going via the Bougmez Valley and the foothills of
Azourki, before travellers get the chance to visit a women's rug-weaving
co-op in Talsanant. An eight-day tour costs [675 pounds], including
seven nights' BandB accommodation, four lunches, five dinners, transfers
and a range of activities, from a local folklore workshop to a Berber
makeup workshop.


Do they charge extra for the rapes?


Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (ptqGC)

252 > Today's Coke ain't the same thing, it's kinda close, but it's not the same. The Coke that I loved as a kid is long gone.

That's because they took out the cocaine.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (0OWcv)

253 Nicholas Meyer had never seen a single episode of Star Trek before he was hired to direct Star Trek II.

Love of the source material is not required to tell a compelling story in an established universe. Understand of storytelling is.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (XSSCs)

That's actually a good point. As long as that director makes the effort to work with the source material rather than rewrite it in their image, it can work and work very well.

Starship Troopers is an example of what happens when a director doesn't make such an effort.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (J+mig)

254 -
--
The Mexican stuff is widely available around here,
and once you've had the real stuff you can't go back. I don't like Coke
that much anyway. Mexican Squirt is the bomb.


Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM

-------------------------

Montezuma's revenge is the bomb???

Posted by: irright at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (pMGkg)

255 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE BRIE LARSEN IS AN ACTRESS AND BREE OLSEN IS ALSO AN ACTRESS BUT THEY DON'T ACT IN THE SAME KINDS OF MOVIES EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE SIMILAR NAMES BECAUSE LARSEN IS A SUPERHEROINE AND OLSEN IS A WHORE AND SUPERHERO MOVIES DON'T USUALLY HAVE WHORES IN THEM.

Posted by: Zod Roethlisburger at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (Bdeb0)

256 I've ... got no ass to sit me down
For men to pet
Or fill a gown
I've got no ass to sit me down
SO EAT SHIT AND DIE WHITE PATRIARCHY !!!

Posted by: Larsonochhio at March 06, 2019 12:19 PM (X12/X)

257 OCrazyHo-DonkeyChompers.

***

Goatboy

Posted by: Total Control Racist at March 06, 2019 12:19 PM (OWGHC)

258 Amy Schumer has already made several movies.

I think you may be going backwards in time.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (XSSCs)

Sorry. I must have completely nodded off during that.

Posted by: Roy at March 06, 2019 12:19 PM (xqdqQ)

259 Dat Ass!

Posted by: Bonneville Salt Flats at March 06, 2019 12:19 PM (t6MX/)

260 243 Jimmy Hoffa.

Russian Collusion.

Brie Larson's ass.


Was this in a hermetically-sealed mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's back porch?

Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:19 PM (8erNz)

261 253
Starship Troopers is an example of what happens when a director doesn't make such an effort.
Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (J+mig)

===========

If you operate from the position that both book and movie are anti-Fascist (which they both are), then they actually work in compliment to each other.

But yeah, no power suits.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:19 PM (XSSCs)

262 Totally off topic:

A reminder that as it is Wednesday, this is the day 'Ette Moms join in prayer for our Moron Horde kids.

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at March 06, 2019 12:19 PM (9Ni3Z)

263 2) Has never heard of the source material, but can tell a story

I'd go with 2. "

Unless his name is Paul Verhoeven, Curses be Upon His Name.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (Kpl3J)

264 That stuff is better - but there's been another change, too, and I'm not sure what it was. I remember being super thirsty when I was a kid, and I'd pour Coke down my throat and it would BURN, but it would burn so good! Totally quench my thirst.

Today's Coke ain't the same thing, it's kinda close, but it's not the same. The Coke that I loved as a kid is long gone.
Posted by: Tom Servo


Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper & Mt. Dew THROWBACK.

It's the stuff made with cane sugar.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (IxRYM)

265 They just don't realize how annoyingly shrill their voices are.
========

This is about me, isn't it?

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (vg8iE)

266 I'm telling you Captain Marvel is fantastic. it is going to make Disney a mountain of cash and Brie"s ass is shapely and protrudes nicely.

Posted by: Bob Iger at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (pw+jk)

267 I heard, while listing to Ethan Van Sciver last night, that there's a fight scene in this shitshow set to the tune of 'I'm Just a Girl' by No Doubt.

That may be the single cringiest thing in Woke Cinema history.

Posted by: El Kabong at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (datdl)

268 Mexican Squirt is the bomb.
Posted by: JEM


*ahem*

Posted by: Anthony Wiener at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (Hk+Y0)

269 If given a choice of two filmmakers:

1) Loves the source material but can't tell a story

or

2) Has never heard of the source material, but can tell a story

I'd go with 2.

It helps that I don't expect adaptations to be at all reflective of their source material.

Francois Truffaut, interestingly enough, disagreed with me. The first part of his famous essay that introduced Auteur Theory is all about a pair of French screenwriters who intentionally undermined the points of the original novels.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (XSSCs)

I'll take the second option too. A professional entertainer will tell a good story.

Mind you, anyone who comes at a story with an agenda beyond entertainment is a shit. And should be treated as such. That includes everyone who 'reinterprets' the source material.

If the source material was worth being made at all, it is worth respecting. Looking at you, Wrinkle in Time remakers...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (bcbK8)

270 >>Asses are overrated.

Badonka donk > badonka don't

Posted by: JackStraw at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (/tuJf)

271 Flat Assism is empowering to wymyn. Because reasons.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (DQjsT)

272 Jimmy Hoffa.

Russian Collusion.

Brie Larson's ass.



What are things that will never be found, Alex?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (fuK7c)

273 Also Brie Larson is so man hatey I wonder if she recently got her heart broken by some dde.
Posted by: steevy

She got her heart broken by a Destroyer Escort ?

Posted by: JT at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (nwYk7)

274 > Do they charge extra for the rapes?


No, those are complimentary.


Never understood why feministas go to countries where any woman who isn't covered in a bag and constantly guarded by a male is considered a public utility, and then get surprised when they get the shit raped out of them.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (0OWcv)

275 Mexican Squirt is the bomb.

Don't drink the water.

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (LL1Be)
..........

Ever seen the Tecate river? That's why they call it "Headache In A Can".

Posted by: wth at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (v0R5T)

276 Mexican Squirt is the bomb.

Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM

-------------------------

Montezuma's revenge is the bomb???


I made an American squirm...

Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (8erNz)

277 Maybe Brie should be in the next Iron Man. At least then, they could giver her a mechanical ass.
Posted by: Marcus T at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (VpIIl)


Then it would need to be Iron Theybee, or IronXer or some other non offensive clusterfuck pronoun.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (IXZGh)

278 What I did find actually interesting was Tim Pool destroying @jack on Rogan's "show" after the pathetic drool-fest from 2 weeks prior.


Tim seemed to fall back on his liberal roots and felt a twang of guilt for a moment, he didn't move in for the kill. Also the whole "conservative" thing is a red herring. Otherwise worth the 13 minutes to see.

Posted by: clutch cargo at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (sLicW)

279 Girl Maverick: "I'm not talking to that bitch Becky in the control tower! She knows why!"
Posted by: josephistan at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM (7HtZB)

That's also a good part of the story of how one of our DDGs got rammed by a freighter.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (J+mig)

280 Big Foot

The Loch Ness Monster

Brie's ass

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (+y/Ru)

281 Montezuma's revenge is the bomb???

Posted by: irright at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (pMGkg)

In the sense that it's explosive? Yes.

Posted by: Surfperch at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (Lr3FA)

282 Maybe Brie should be in the next Iron Man. At least then, they could giver her a mechanical ass.
Transformer!!!

Posted by: andycanuck at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (Dh1wo)

283 I saw Mexican Squirt in Tijuana MX.

Posted by: Phil Hartmark F/K/A Truck Monkey at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (flINI)

284 Brie Larson's ass would probably make a decent chess board.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (X12/X)

285 1) Shit on the loyal, mostly white male fanbase that has paid your franchise billions of dollars over the last 10 years.

2) ???

3) You stupid incel manbabies!

Posted by: El Kabong at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (datdl)

286 The future is female!
The Force is female!
This flop is female!
Oh, wait. . .scratch that!
This flop is because white men won't STFD and STFU!!

Posted by: Lizzy at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (W+vEI)

287 206
> Did you know that you can buy Mexican Coke and it's made with real sugar?



Also kosher-for-Passover coke. You can usually get it if there are a reasonable number of Jews living in your area.





Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:13 PM (0OWcv)
Dr Pepper with real sugar is back too. Priced the same as the corn syrup shit.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (37IEG)

288 269
I'll take the second option too. A professional entertainer will tell a good story.

Mind you, anyone who comes at a story with an agenda beyond entertainment is a shit. And should be treated as such. That includes everyone who 'reinterprets' the source material.

If the source material was worth being made at all, it is worth respecting. Looking at you, Wrinkle in Time remakers...
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (bcbK

===========

Yeah, my options were a bit of a strawman rhetorical.

But anyone who is more interested in persuading an audience about a political or social point than entertaining them is at best limited their reach.

It's interesting to go back and watch movies that made big impacts at the time, but the world has long since moved on. They're quaint.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (XSSCs)

289 247 237 At my age, I'm bored by all superhero movies. I was not going to see it even if it was actually good.

Posted by: WisRich at March 06, 2019 12:02 PM (G0vdT)

This.

I was bored by superhero movies when Christopher Reeve was Superman. "

But now a drunk GEORGE Reeves, he was the Shitz!!!

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (Kpl3J)

290 I expect Spittle and Fleck to get the nomination for Best Director Oscar for this one.

Posted by: Roy at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (xqdqQ)

291 Mexicans get better Coke than we do and who
thinks that's a good idea? "

Actually, no. Most Coke sold in ol Mehiiico is corn syrup flavored. The "real sugar" version is mostly exported to the Estados Unidos ... for a higher price.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (6qErC)

292 283 I saw Mexican Squirt in Tijuana MX.

I was there too! They opened for UK Squeeze.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (DQjsT)

293 > But yeah, no power suits.

Verhoeven made them draftees, when the whole point of the book was that it was an all-volunteer force.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (0OWcv)

294
Ever seen the Tecate river? That's why they call it "Headache In A Can".
Posted by: wth at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (v0R5T)


Tecate Light is the worst foreign animal piss in a can on the planet.......

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (IXZGh)

295 I think they realized that they had dud on their hands, so they tried to "female ghostbusters" the movie aka make accusations of sexism to round up the npcs to their defense. So even though the movie stinks and everyone knows it, they'll still get puff pieces about "bravery" and "truimphs". They'll claim that they didn't have to make money because something something capitalism something patriarchy! I hope they keep this up and bankrupt Hollywood.

Posted by: Velveteen Mongoose at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (4YHTV)

296 Asses are overrated.

Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (8erNz)

Your words offend me, sir!

Posted by: Sir Mixalot at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (8iiMU)

297 >>Brie Larson's ass would probably make a decent chess board.




If you can find it?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BrS3LWgDco9/

Posted by: Lizzy at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (W+vEI)

298 change a few "I'm an angry powerful woman" parts ... to

"I have a soft giggly side when hot men compliment my (digitally improved) ass" scenes ... and see if the ratings improve.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (Cus5s)

299 Are you a female traveling solo? You should backpack through Morocco!

Posted by: The Independent at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (SkuXa)

300 Mexican Squirt is the bomb.



Posted by: JEM at March 06, 2019 12:16 PM



I always get mexican coke at my local taqueria, so I'd imagine squirt could be awesome (used to be my #1 fave back in the 60's). Does it come in that bitchin' bottle?


Hawaiian coke used to use cane sugar until the 2000's, when they started eliminating the cane fields.

Posted by: clutch cargo at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (sLicW)

301 It's interesting to go back and watch movies that made big impacts at the time, but the world has long since moved on. They're quaint."

9 out of ever 10 movies made in the later half of the 60's.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (Kpl3J)

302 293 > But yeah, no power suits.

Verhoeven made them draftees, when the whole point of the book was that it was an all-volunteer force.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM (0OWcv)

============

Um...what? They all volunteered at the beginning of the movie.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (q8oeS)

303 > Brie Larson's ass would probably make a decent chess board.


Her ass could be used as a machinist's surface plate.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (0OWcv)

304 189 I noticed that her ass is pretty flat. Anybody else catch that?
Posted by: FIRST!!!!! at March 06, 2019 12:12 PM (d8iVQ)
--------

Which is surprising because there's articles telling us how she did massive strength training for the role and was deadlifting 215 hundred pounds, hip thrusts of 400 pounds, and put on 15 lbs of muscle.

That kind of work does wonders for the gluts but, oops, not for her I guess. Oh well.

Posted by: WisRich at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (G0vdT)

305 We think Ms. Larson is a shapely, lovely woman and hopefully the future of femininity.

Posted by: United Brotherhood of Suspenders Makers Local 694 at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (X12/X)

306 Yes, Bandersnatch.

You win a two day no-expense paid vacation to Carnac's Section 8 co-op in Burbank!

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (1beh4)

307 297
>>Brie Larson's ass would probably make a decent chess board.





If you can find it?



https://www.instagram.com/p/BrS3LWgDco9/

Posted by: Lizzy at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (W+vE

It's like the black hole of asses.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (t6MX/)

308 GO BUY A TICKET you racist, sexist, unwoke ASSHOLES!
WE MADE A DAMN MOVIE for you ungrateful fuckers now SWIPE YOUR LITTLE PLASTIC PENIS PAY CARDS at the local theater and QUIT WHINING about how you WANT MORE MOVIE RAPE and TOXIC MASCULINITY and CLAP YOUR HANDS FOR BRIES' CHICKEN ASS.

Posted by: Disney Corporate at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (LL1Be)

309
Mexican Squirt is the bomb.

I'd like a Mexican Squirt!

Posted by: Harry Reid at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (aKsyK)

310 >>>267 I heard, while listing to Ethan Van Sciver last night, that there's a fight scene in this shitshow set to the tune of 'I'm Just a Girl' by No Doubt.

That may be the single cringiest thing in Woke Cinema history.

...

I think that that happens in what is meant to be the climatic fight at the end where she's pew-pewing spaceships with her feminist power.

If it were just some minor second act fight, it would be one thing to play that song. But the climactic fight?

Posted by: ace at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (PbpT7)

311 I think I'd still rather watch Support Your Local Sheriff.

Hell, I'd rather watch that then a lot of movies these days.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (tVWQB)

312 Larson spends the entire movie being insouciant, kicking butt, ...

... while not having one herself.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (YqDXo)

313 I still have The Squeeze and Squirt Tour shirt.

It's a classic.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (DQjsT)

314 Her ass could be used as a machinist's surface plate.





Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (0OWcv)

Scientists calibrate their instruments by it.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (t6MX/)

315
An all female remake of Top Gun? Short movie as the girl Maverick crashes her F-14 into the fantail of the Nimitz right after the opening credits.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM


The girl Iceman can bang up a couple of F-14's as she's trying to parallel park after landing.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (TAmPV)

316 >>Starship Troopers is an example of what happens when a director doesn't make such an effort. Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (J+mig)

Starship Troopers is an example of a film that fails to provide Denise Richards with a suitably prolonged, agonizing demise.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (Bdeb0)

317 Also Brie Larson is so man hatey I wonder if she recently got her heart broken by some dde.
Posted by: steevy

She got her heart broken by a Destroyer Escort ?
Posted by: JT at March 06, 2019 12:20 PM (nwYk7)

That would be a perfectly normal statement to an anime fan. The DE would also be a girl. Don't ask, it's anime.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (J+mig)

318 Larsen should have just made out with Black Widow for an hour and called that an empowering movie and spared us all this bucket of dogshit

Posted by: UGAdawg at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (DMT7a)

319 Starship Troopers the movie made a solid case for Fascism.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (iSh8b)

320 If you operate from the position that both book and movie are
anti-Fascist (which they both are), then they actually work in
compliment to each other.



But yeah, no power suits.
---
They had power suits in the third one.

I really liked the first one.

Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (kOpft)

321 Actually, no. Most Coke sold in ol Mehiiico is corn syrup flavored. The "real sugar" version is mostly exported to the Estados Unidos ... for a higher price.


Huh. I first noticed it because there was an end aisle display that said "el sabor de casa" and I wondered why Coke would taste different in Mexico.

Looked at the ingredients and voila (or, you know, however you say voila in Mexican). They're marketing it with nostalgia.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (fuK7c)

322 Actually, no. Most Coke sold in ol Mehiiico is corn syrup flavored. The
"real sugar" version is mostly exported to the Estados Unidos ... for a
higher price.



Figures. I'm good with that though! Fish taco and bottle of coke for me!

Posted by: clutch cargo at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (sLicW)

323 They should have made Captain Marvel akin to a female James Bond, hitting everything in sight.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (VpIIl)

324 310 I think that that happens in what is meant to be the climatic fight at the end where she's pew-pewing spaceships with her feminist power.

If it were just some minor second act fight, it would be one thing to play that song. But the climactic fight?
Posted by: ace at March 06, 2019 12:24 PM (PbpT7)

===========

Remember Hit Girl massacring bad guys at the end of Kick Ass to Bad Reputation?

That was fun.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (q8oeS)

325 I guess the movie company couldn't afford ass pads.

Tom Cruise must have cornered the market.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (1beh4)

326 when a villain preparing for an epic confrontation with Carol, the fighter pilot turned Superwoman, chides her that she will fail because she can't control her emotions

I suspect that that line, in and of itself, captures the spirit and thesis of this movie.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (YqDXo)

327 Just to show how much the "narrative" has infected the critics, here's Peter Travers from Rolling Stone :
"But a dynamite Brie Larson gives hell to cosmic villains and sexist trolls."

So there you have it, the fact that some online comments said mean things needs to be part of a movie review and push back against these people.

You think if an actress said something political in real life they would make that part of their review about the movie itself? Two sets of rules.

Posted by: Blago at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (UfkIY)

328 Tecate Light is the worst foreign animal piss in a can on the planet.......

TRUMP NEEDS TO BAN THE IMPORT OF TECATE BEER IMMEDIATELY, UNTIL THE MEXICAN GOVERNMENT CAN DOCUMENT THE USE OF ONLY FREE-RANGE ANIMAL PISS IN THEIR BEER!

Posted by: PETA at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (8erNz)

329 All the bestest superheroes are blondes with RBF.

Or whatever.

Posted by: Burger Chef at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (RuIsu)

330 310 The beams should actually emanate from her vag.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (BXMxN)

331 Hey, anything more than crack is just overkill.

Posted by: Brie Larson's Ass at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (pw+jk)

332 320 They had power suits in the third one.

I really liked the first one.
Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (kOpft)

==========

I love the first one, but most people here hate it with a passion.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (q8oeS)

333 Starship Troopers is an example of a film that fails to provide Denise Richards with a suitably prolonged, agonizing demise."

With elbows. You left out the elbows.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (6qErC)

334 323 They should have made Captain Marvel akin to a female James Bond, hitting everything in sight.
Posted by: Marcus T at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (VpIIl)

============

Already did that with Atomic Blonde.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (q8oeS)

335 297
>>Brie Larson's ass would probably make a decent chess board.









If you can find it?



https://www.instagram.com/p/BrS3LWgDco9/

Posted by: Lizzy at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (W+vEI)

I am more callipygous than her, geez.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (8iiMU)

336 316 >>Starship Troopers is an example of what happens when a director doesn't make such an effort. Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 12:18 PM (J+mig)

Starship Troopers is an example of a film that fails to provide Denise Richards with a suitably prolonged, agonizing demise.
Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (Bdeb0)

And not enough time with her topless.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (bcbK8)

337 When you need a 3 inch wallet and 5 shop rags in your back pocket to hold your pants up......

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (IXZGh)

338 "It sucks, but in a good way -- like Stormy Daniels." -- Michael Avenatti, film reviewer

Posted by: ShainS -- 2020 Dem candidate promising free hookers and blow to all! at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (VfV44)

339 Starship Troopers is an example of a film that fails to provide Denise Richards with a suitably prolonged, agonizing demise.

I thought I'd dealt with that?

Posted by: Charlie 'Superfund' Sheen at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (8erNz)

340 >>"...and sexist trolls." Posted by: Blago at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (UfkIY)

You say it with such...disdain, Peter.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (Bdeb0)

341
That may be the single cringiest thing in Woke Cinema history

***

Yikes.
Go with Jack Off Jill "American Made"

Posted by: Total Control Racist at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (OWGHC)

342 325 I guess the movie company couldn't afford ass pads.

Tom Cruise must have cornered the market.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (1beh4)

===========

That would invite the male gaze, a form of extreme violence that makes Alex and his Droogs quake with terror.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (q8oeS)

343 12 I will not watch it.
Posted by: Diogenes at March 06, 2019 11:48 AM (0tfLf)

That's ok. Brie said you CAN'T, for the first 4 weeks, anyway.
Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 11:51 AM (IXZGh)


I thought it was 4 weeks or her next period, whichever happens first.

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (di1hb)

344 Looked at the ingredients and voila (or, you know, however you say voila in Mexican). They're marketing it with nostalgia.


The expensive mixers (tonic etc.) use either cane sugar or agave syrup, as do some of the designer sodas. Such a difference. I never drink soda any more except my guilty pleasure of my taco and bottle of coke every other week.

Posted by: clutch cargo at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (sLicW)

345 332 320 They had power suits in the third one.

I really liked the first one.
Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (kOpft)

==========

I love the first one, but most people here hate it with a passion.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (q8oeS)

I like it unironically. It's like Verhoven's hatered backfired.

Sorta like my liking of Rage Against the Machine's song 'Bulls on Parade'.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:27 PM (bcbK8)

346
Already did that with Atomic Blonde.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (q8oeS)


I think I got about 1/2 way through that one before turning it off in disgust.

terrible movie.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (IXZGh)

347 Disgraced Ex R House Rep gets a "deferred prosecution" pass from Trump appointed US attorney General in huge fraud case
2 other GOP House Reps still under indictment and facing felony charges in CA

Posted by: Kurt at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (dJyKb)

348 Remember Hit Girl massacring bad guys at the end of Kick Ass to Bad Reputation?



That was fun.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (q8oeS)

I loved that movie. Incredibly stupid, but I loved it.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut IN at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (CPk08)

349 How long before using the term "Mary Sue" is a bannable offense on Twitter?

Posted by: Stu Podaso at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (JM21/)

350 Are you a female traveling solo? You should backpack through Morocco!
Posted by: The Independent at March 06, 2019 12:23 PM (SkuXa)

Let's not go losing our heads over this.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (iSh8b)

351 Brie Larson is a "super serious" indie movie actress. They picked her as big FU to male customers. Like many of these west coast "females", they have that bleak, lizard like quality with smelly hair. The only thing that brings color to their cheeks is lgbtq rights and abortion.

Posted by: Velveteen Mongoose at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (4YHTV)

352 CNN Panel of Democrats Don't Support Biden: 'His Time Is Done'

-
Yeah, Tonto, forget it. You're just a sidekick and that all you'll ever be.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (+y/Ru)

353 Will you people lay off on Brie's ass? I'd rather have that than Mount Kardashian.

Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion' at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (8erNz)

354 311 I think I'd still rather watch Support Your Local Sheriff.

Hell, I'd rather watch that then a lot of movies these days."

LOL, that's one of my favorites! Best part of it is Jack Elam - and Bruce Dern. Watching his Pa yell at him "You helped 'em build your own jail cell???" "Well Pa I wasn't doin' nothing anyways, and they asked real nice."

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (Kpl3J)

355 I think I got about 1/2 way through that one before turning it off"

Let's see... nekkkid Charleze w/other babe was how many minutes in?

Posted by: Anon a mouse at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (6qErC)

356 I think Marvel and Disney made the calculation that this would be a cultural touchstone for women like Black Panther was for black people.

The problem is that the women they talk to, who happen to be arch feminists, aren't that representative of the female population in general.

Oh, and Wonder Woman already did it.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

_________

Alien did it in 1979. And I'm sure there's even better examples.

The idea that audiences won't accept a strong female character in an action role was disproven ages ago.

That's why this shit is so stupid.

Posted by: Blago at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (UfkIY)

357 >>Starship Troopers is an example of a film that fails to provide Denise Richards with a suitably prolonged, agonizing demise.
Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (Bdeb0)
And not enough time with her topless.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (bcbK

"My god! They jammed the brain-sucker stem into her gourd, but not before they stripped her and all got a good look! For a long time! KILL THE BUGS!"

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:29 PM (Bdeb0)

358 Starship Troopers the movie made a solid case for Fascism.
Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (iSh8b)


As far as the book, I've read it a few times. I got the impression Robert Heinlein. was no fan of Liberal Democracy.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:29 PM (X12/X)

359 280 Big Foot

The Loch Ness Monster

Brie's ass
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 06, 2019 12:21 PM (+y/Ru)

There are photos of two of the three.

Posted by: josephistan at March 06, 2019 12:29 PM (7HtZB)

360 349
How long before using the term "Mary Sue" is a bannable offense on Twitter?


Posted by: Stu Podaso at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (JM21/)
Does Mary Sue know how to code?

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 06, 2019 12:29 PM (8iiMU)

361 You'd think they could have fit some inflatable butt cheeks into that expensive suit. I mean, what are budgets for?

Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice at March 06, 2019 12:29 PM (H8QX8)

362 Brie, call me. We do butt implants.

Posted by: Dr. Terry Dubrow - Botched at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (v0R5T)

363 LOL, that's one of my favorites! Best part of it is Jack Elam - and Bruce Dern. Watching his Pa yell at him "You helped 'em build your own jail cell???" "Well Pa I wasn't doin' nothing anyways, and they asked real nice."

YES, the jail without the bars!


"What's all that red stuff on the floor?"

"Oh, that's the last guy who tried to walk out of here."

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (tVWQB)

364 353
Will you people lay off on Brie's ass? I'd rather have that than Mount Kardashian.

Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion' at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (8erNz)

Brie is like Bizarro to Kim's Superman.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (t6MX/)

365 >>Also Brie Larson is so man hatey I wonder if she recently got her heart broken by some dde.


Quietly split from her fiancť a few months ago, IIRC.
She's been a loudmouth feminist for a while.
Chicken, egg, you decide.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (W+vEI)

366 172 158 This is what you get when you hire writers based on their gender and their politics instead of their understanding of superheroes and character.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (bcbK

===========

Small retort:

Nicholas Meyer had never seen a single episode of Star Trek before he was hired to direct Star Trek II.

Love of the source material is not required to tell a compelling story in an established universe. Understand of storytelling is.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:09 PM (XSSCs)

== == == ==
Well, when he was hired he had the decency to do his research. He binged the entire damn series over a weekend. You can't argue with the results.

Posted by: Jackal at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (ya5pQ)

367 Having only seen her in Kong Skull Island I was shocked to find out that Brie Larson won an Iscar.She is anti charismatic,actively dislikeable.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (BXMxN)

368 356 Alien did it in 1979. And I'm sure there's even better examples.

The idea that audiences won't accept a strong female character in an action role was disproven ages ago.

That's why this shit is so stupid.
Posted by: Blago at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (UfkIY)

===========

Even limited to just superhero movies there's Elektra and Catwoman from a decade or so back.

But yeah, geeks have been very chill with female leads in action movies for a very long time.

Most of their core audience grew up with Ripley and Sarah Conner.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (q8oeS)

369 It's never fun to spank a flat ass! C'est la Brie.

Posted by: ST at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (YYlrT)

370 It's a good idea to permanently shun all leftists from your lives now. It will prevent emotional issues from clouding your judgment when the shit hits the fan.

Posted by: Brody at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (uloIh)

371 Has JV Last weighed in yet?

Given the trolly, lulzy, own-the-cons nature of the Bullprep now, I'm gonna guess he comes out in favor of this shitshow to trigger some snowflakes.

'Actually, the space cat is the true hero of the film. Don't @ me, h8ters.'

Posted by: El Kabong at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (datdl)

372 They CGI'd digitized dead Carrie Fisher into a movie.

They couldn't CGI an ass for Brie?

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (LL1Be)

373 Well, according to Slate, the very fact that this Force is Female movie is boring, misconceived, incompetent and embarrassing is actually a triumph for women, as it proves that women can make awful movies, just like men.

Ah, that explains comediennes.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (YqDXo)

374 358 Starship Troopers the movie made a solid case for Fascism.
Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (iSh8b)

As far as the book, I've read it a few times. I got the impression Robert Heinlein. was no fan of Liberal Democracy.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:29 PM (X12/X)

============

I think he was, but with limited suffrage.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (q8oeS)

375 "Fat ass > Flat ass. I might use that as my 2020 campaign slogan." -- Michael Obama

Posted by: ShainS -- 2020 Dem candidate promising free hookers and blow to all! at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (uTEYr)

376 And not enough time with her topless.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (bcbK


"We're gonna make a movie featuring Denise Richards, and a coed shower scene!"

"I love it!"

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (wCmLp)

377 And both CA House Reps who are "always Trumpers" we're actually ELECTED while under indictment
And the Dems are the party of corruption ??

Posted by: Kurt at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (dJyKb)

378 366 Also,he didn't hate it.Marvel is hiring women that despise comics and comic readers and it shows.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (BXMxN)

379 I hate Starship Troopers because it took one of the best military Sci-fi novels ever written, a plot that *could* have been the source for one of the greatest sci-fi action movies ever made - and it shit in it's mouth and laughed at us for noticing.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (Kpl3J)

380 Wonder Bra already did it.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (Dh1wo)

381 32 Holy crap, they actually show her abandon her kids because grrrl power?
Posted by: Moron Robbie - una gadda davida at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (ZIm4z)


She left them in the custody of the turkey baster.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (YqDXo)

382 Call signs for the all-female Top Gun?

"Filly"

"Frigid"

"Eww A Snake"

"Mother Goose"

"Cougar"

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (1beh4)

383 Captain Marvel demoted to Private.

The Walmart discount bin awaits..

Posted by: Joe Mama at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (883zS)

384 One note retard is here.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (BXMxN)

385 I don't pay to see these movies in the theater, but I invariably see them on Netflix, because I have kids & the action is mindless. It isn't a coincidence that there is a bunch of hyphenated female screenwriters and directors on this project. Marvel really has reaped profits off of a bunch of white male characters up to this point, they lobbed this turd out there as an homage to all the strong, fierce independent women who don't have the time or interest in going to a comic book movie. Captain Marvel is a token in the Marvel Comic Universe sacrificed on the alter of "because muh lady parts empower me!"

Posted by: TJ at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (OTO8q)

386 Old and busted: Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego?

New hotness: Where In the World Is Brie Larson's Ass?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (+y/Ru)

387 367 Having only seen her in Kong Skull Island I was shocked to find out that Brie Larson won an Iscar.She is anti charismatic,actively dislikeable.
Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (BXMxN)

============

The character she played to win that Oscar was a woman trapped in a closet by a man who raped her daily for years.

Yeah, she played angry and bitter really well.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (q8oeS)

388 Most of their core audience grew up with Ripley and Sarah Conner.

Then there's those of us who grew up with 'True Grit'.

Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion' at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (8erNz)

389 Having only seen her in Kong Skull Island I was shocked to find out that Brie Larson won an Iscar.She is anti charismatic,actively dislikeable.
----------

My role in Kong was an important part of my activism. By playing a strong female journalist I was representing the brave men and women who work tirelessly and risk their lives to bring us the truth.

Posted by: Brie Larson really said this at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (SkuXa)

390 One thing I still trust the New York Times for is movie reviews, and A.O. Scott comes just shy of calling this thing absolute dreck:

https://outline.com/huKkUv

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (fuK7c)

391 Even limited to just superhero movies there's Elektra and Catwoman from a decade or so back.

But yeah, geeks have been very chill with female leads in action movies for a very long time.

Most of their core audience grew up with Ripley and Sarah Conner.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison


Zena, Warrior Princess

Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (IxRYM)

392 Ripley had a flat ass, and she could work it. Epic all time sexy. Sara Conner, the plain girl, hot as hell. Brie did not understand her character. WTF?

Posted by: ST at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (YYlrT)

393 Remember Hit Girl massacring bad guys at the end of Kick Ass to Bad Reputation?



That was fun.
---
Yes, but Hit Girl is actually awesome. The best part of the second movie is when she gets unleashed in the chase sequence after the funeral.

Which works because she's not the main character.

Posted by: Methos at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (kOpft)

394 357 >>Starship Troopers is an example of a film that fails to provide Denise Richards with a suitably prolonged, agonizing demise.
Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (Bdeb0)
And not enough time with her topless.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (bcbK

"My god! They jammed the brain-sucker stem into her gourd, but not before they stripped her and all got a good look! For a long time! KILL THE BUGS!"
Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:29 PM (Bdeb0)

See folks, fan fiction isn't all bad.

I do wish I could go back in time to 1990 with $2k so I could have banged her in her prime when she was a working girl.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (bcbK8)

395 Kurt at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (dJyKb)

Politicans are criminals. Shocking. They all get the rope.

Posted by: Dead Horses at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (iSh8b)

396 some good news OT - Republicans have flipped 4 congressional seats already this year.

Posted by: IC at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (a0IVu)

397 -
--
Coke marked Kosher for Passover uses cane sugar, btw. So do your shopping a week before passover. "



That stuff is better - but there's been another change, too, and I'm
not sure what it was. I remember being super thirsty when I was a kid,
and I'd pour Coke down my throat and it would BURN, but it would burn
so good! Totally quench my thirst.



Today's Coke ain't the same thing, it's kinda close, but it's not the same. The Coke that I loved as a kid is long gone.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM

-------------------------

Yep, the burn changed. They probably dropped some of the acid levels.

Posted by: irright at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (pMGkg)

398 Next up: A remake of The Great Escape, with an all girl cast escaping from an oppressive day spa.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (YqDXo)

399 I think he was, but with limited suffrage.

Maybe. I seem to recall that, if you don't pursue the franchise, you also don't pay taxes or some such shit.

Who knows. He spends a ton of time knocking down a ton of shit that the West takes for granted.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (X12/X)

400 Sequel: Captain Marvel Learns to Code

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (1beh4)

401 "I got the impression Robert Heinlein. was no fan of Liberal Democracy."

He preferred the Republic established by the Constitution.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (fE89p)

402 "Straight to DVD"

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (LL1Be)

403 "when a villain preparing for an epic confrontation with Carol, the fighter pilot turned Superwoman, chides her that she will fail because she can't control her emotions"

The most unbelievable thing about the movie was that Carol was a fighter pilot. Get real!

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (3sjI6)

404 Starship Troopers also makes the case that nonviolent religious sects are liable to, umm, 'go under.'

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (Bdeb0)

405 32
Holy crap, they actually show her abandon her kids because grrrl power?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - una gadda davida at March 06, 2019 11:53 AM (ZIm4z)


How many air force fighter pilots take 18 months off to have kids? I mean how do they even work that out? 9 month pregnancy and 3 month maternity leave. This pilot is out of commission for two years and it's all aces!


Do they even let pregnant women fly those things. Seems like pulling 10 G's would be bad on the fetus.

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:33 PM (ymnmz)

406
353

Will you people lay off on Brie's ass? I'd rather have that than Mount Kardashian.



Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion' at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (8erNz)

Brie is like Bizarro to Kim's Superman.


Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (t6MX/)

=======
Brie and Kim prove that there is universal Conservation of Ass.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at March 06, 2019 12:34 PM (pw+jk)

407 I think Brie is plenty pretty looking but there does seem to be something wrong with her soul

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:34 PM (39g3+)

408 "some good news OT - Republicans have flipped 4 congressional seats already this year."

Great, but the election was last year.

Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:34 PM (w7KSn)

409 The idea that audiences won't accept a strong female character in an action role was disproven ages ago.

Yeah, how many of those dumb Tomb Raider movies have been made now?

The target demo for these movies adores chick heroes; frankly, for a lot of them, it's about as close to a decent-looking woman as they are ever going to come.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 06, 2019 12:34 PM (iys0/)

410 They're working on the Captain Marvel sequel now. Working title: Major Disaster.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:34 PM (YqDXo)

411 398 Next up: A remake of The Great Escape, with an all girl cast escaping from an oppressive day spa.

As long as they all get machine-gunned at the end...

Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion' at March 06, 2019 12:35 PM (8erNz)

412 Has anyone mentioned Larson has a flat ass?
Posted by: JackStraw


Now that you mention it ...

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:35 PM (YqDXo)

413 409
The target demo for these movies adores chick heroes; frankly, for a lot of them, it's about as close to a decent-looking woman as they are ever going to come.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 06, 2019 12:34 PM (iys0/)

===========

"The reason the last one failed was because Alicia Vikkander didn't go around insulting all men!"

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:35 PM (q8oeS)

414 408 "some good news OT - Republicans have flipped 4 congressional seats already this year."

Great, but the election was last year.
Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:34 PM (w7KSn)

No, these are special elections that were held this year.

Posted by: IC at March 06, 2019 12:35 PM (a0IVu)

415 Larson has shown herself as likable as a boil on the ass. This flop will finish her hateful ass.

Posted by: Xipe Totec still banned at rgICo at March 06, 2019 12:35 PM (huES0)

416 Brie and Kim prove that there is universal Conservation of Ass.

Okay, you've saved the minimus/maximus gluteal discussion

Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion' at March 06, 2019 12:35 PM (8erNz)

417 >>>I think that that happens in what is meant to be the climatic fight at the end where she's pew-pewing spaceships with her feminist power.
If it were just some minor second act fight, it would be one thing to play that song. But the climactic fight?

JFC.

Even as a second act fight, it's cringe. It's the most on-the-nose, forced, GIRL POWER horeshit song to staple onto a fight scene.

I've read self-insert brony fanfic scripts with more subtlety than this.

Posted by: El Kabong at March 06, 2019 12:36 PM (datdl)

418 ot-I'm sure that train wreck of birth defects in the ads is a nice woman, and is loved, but I'm fucking sick of seeing her.

Posted by: nip at March 06, 2019 12:36 PM (DfGpI)

419 387 367 Having only seen her in Kong Skull Island I was shocked to find out that Brie Larson won an Iscar.She is anti charismatic,actively dislikeable.
Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:30 PM (BXMxN)
============
The character she played to win that Oscar was a woman trapped in a closet by a man who raped her daily for years.

Yeah, she played angry and bitter really well.

Was that movie called King Kong Bundy Skull Fuck Island? Well it should have been.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:36 PM (Kpl3J)

420
I hate Starship Troopers because it took one of the best military Sci-fi
novels ever written, a plot that *could* have been the source for one
of the greatest sci-fi action movies ever made - and it shit in it's
mouth and laughed at us for noticing.
Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (Kpl3J)


Yep. That book is right up there with Animal Farm, 1984, and Fahrenheit 451 as far as I'm concerned. And they fucked it up so bad it had to be on purpose.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:36 PM (X12/X)

421 -
--

Larson has shown herself as likable as a boil on the ass. This flop will finish her hateful ass.


Posted by: Xipe Totec still banned at rgICo at March 06, 2019 12:35 PM

-----------------

If she'd get two boils, she could fill out her suit.

Posted by: irright at March 06, 2019 12:36 PM (pMGkg)

422 Brie and Kim prove that there is universal Conservation of Ass.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at March 06, 2019 12:34 PM (pw+jk)

Ass in = Ass out?


Sounds more plausible than AGW.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 06, 2019 12:37 PM (t6MX/)

423 368- Alien and Terminator have always been two of my favorite movies. I admire Ripley and Sarah. These new woke females are not actual women, they are not admirable. What perplexes me is the Stalin-like effort by the sjws to forget/erase these past female characters in order to prop up their hideous creations. There aren't that many more "firsts" left- first female action hero, first female lead, blah blah blah.... and yet they are gaslighting audiences into thinking they're doing something brave and original.

Posted by: Velveteen Mongoose at March 06, 2019 12:37 PM (4YHTV)

424 3 under indictment all at the same time ?? Gotta be a 21st century record

Posted by: Kurt at March 06, 2019 12:37 PM (dJyKb)

425 Has anyone noticed that Brie Larson has no ass?

Just wondering.

Posted by: Sooner at March 06, 2019 12:37 PM (Fs5vw)

426 391
Even limited to just superhero movies there's Elektra and Catwoman from a decade or so back.



But yeah, geeks have been very chill with female leads in action movies for a very long time.



Most of their core audience grew up with Ripley and Sarah Conner.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison





Zena, Warrior Princess

Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (IxRYM)

Who wins a chin up contest. Terminator II era Sarah Conner or wispy Brie? Brie wins the blow your hair out of your face contest, though cause Go GURRRL

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (ymnmz)

427 I only come to the comments for the ass jokes

Frankly, I could not care less about this lindberger larson person or her movie.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (LWu6U)

428 >>And they fucked it up so bad it had to be on purpose. Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:36 PM (X12/X)

...starring Doogie Howser, incompetent homosexualist intelligence chief.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (Bdeb0)

429 Speaking of a flat ass. . .

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (1beh4)

430 The next Captan Marvel will be gay.

http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk

Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (w7KSn)

431 Zena, Warrior Princess

Posted by: rickb223 at March 06, 2019 12:32 PM (IxRYM)

Xena. Don't ask me how I know that.

Posted by: I like cookies at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (xxAFD)

432 >>Ripley had a flat ass, and she could work it. Epic all time sexy. Sara Conner, the plain girl, hot as hell. Brie did not understand her character. WTF?


So true!

Her flat ass is the perfect metaphor for her flat affect.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (W+vEI)

433 But now a drunk GEORGE Reeves, he was the Shitz!!! Schlitz. Fixed it for you.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:22 PM


Posted by: Diogenes at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (0tfLf)

434 I fit three pool balls in my ass last night. Personal record!

Posted by: Kurt at March 06, 2019 12:38 PM (SkuXa)

435 Will you people lay off on Brie's ass? I'd rather have that than Mount Kardashian.

Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion' at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (8erNz)


That's the typical liberal "take it to extremes" approach.

Never go full libtard.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (IXZGh)

436 Brie: No backhole scenes.
Bree: Backhole scenes.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (Bdeb0)

437 Next Captain American will be gay.
Sorry.

http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk

Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (w7KSn)

438 About all this Marvel comics stuff...I feel like a fish on the outside of the aquarium looking in. I just don't get this alien world.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (JoUsr)

439 425
Has anyone noticed that Brie Larson has no ass?



Just wondering.

Posted by: Sooner at March 06, 2019 12:37 PM (Fs5vw)
She left it in the squat rack after doing her 1,000 x 1,000 daily routine. She went back to get it and some Incel stole it.

F-ing INCELS!!!

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (ymnmz)

440 Who wins a chin up contest. Terminator II era Sarah Conner or wispy Brie?


This is something alexthechick told me so you have to accept it as true or accept a flamethrowing.

Linda Hamilton's sister is her stunt double, so when Linda got ripped for T2 her sister had to as well.

PS -- ripped Sarah Connor is teh hawt.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (fuK7c)

441 424 3 under indictment all at the same time ?? Gotta be a 21st century record

Does anyone in fact keep stats on this?

Posted by: JEM (by the way Brie Larson has no ass) at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (8erNz)

442 >>Next Captain American will be gay.


Finally. A character that the readers can relate to.

Posted by: garrett at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (aBj10)

443 I've read self-insert brony fanfic scripts with more subtlety than this.
Posted by: El Kabong at March 06, 2019 12:36 PM (datdl)

Suddenly I don't feel quite so bad about my knowledge of the anime shipgirl phenomenon.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (J+mig)

444 Speaking of Coke, had anyone tried the new Orange Vanilla flavor?

Posted by: JuJuBee at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (4KIAS)

445 Brie, sweetie, call me. Squat and glute day on Friday. Be there. You wear your uniform and I'll wear my robes.

Grrrrlll power!

Posted by: RBG at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (1beh4)

446 Sarah Connor in Terminator is no action hero.By T2 she is but in a believable way.Ripley in Alien is just strugglig to survive ,she is no steely eyed courageous her.In Aliens she is superior to the Marines after a 10 minute lesson with a pulse rifle from Hicks.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (BXMxN)

447 438 About all this Marvel comics stuff...I feel like a fish on the outside of the aquarium looking in. I just don't get this alien world.
Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (JoUsr)

That's how I feel on the gardening threads

Jah, it's not for everyone. Thankfully.

People like different stuff.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (bcbK8)

448 Does anyone in fact keep stats on this?
The Kunt Institute.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 06, 2019 12:41 PM (Dh1wo)

449 They're working on the Captain Marvel sequel now. Working title: Major Disaster.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara

Hey, a field promotion!

Posted by: Feb Bries at March 06, 2019 12:41 PM (883zS)

450 "As fans beg for Captain America to come out"
Ahh yeah. ZERO fans are asking for that. But the fags and SJWs (birm) are demanding it.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at March 06, 2019 12:41 PM (pw+jk)

451 Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman > Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor

Posted by: I like cookies at March 06, 2019 12:41 PM (xxAFD)

452 446 In Aliens she is superior to the Marines after a 10 minute lesson with a pulse rifle from Hicks.
Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (BXMxN)

=============

No she's not. She's panicky with the rifle and barely gets away.

It's when she's in the load lifter that she gets confident and awesome.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:41 PM (q8oeS)

453 Next Captain American will be gay.
Sorry.

http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk
Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p

Art imitating life.

Posted by: Joe Mama at March 06, 2019 12:41 PM (883zS)

454 Coming in 2020: Animal Sorority House
Posted by: Movie Trailer Voice at March 06, 2019 11:55 AM (YA914)

Now that could actually be funny, if done properly.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

The pledge initiation/hazing is making them clean the girls bathroom.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (6rX0K)

455
325 I guess the movie company couldn't afford ass pads.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (1beh4)







It's not as if they spent much on her costume. It's a set of Chinese knock-off motorcycle leathers.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (veoSD)

456 235 Now that they finished making a feminist-approved action movie, they are going to move on to make a feminist-approved comedy.
Posted by: Roy at March 06, 2019 12:17 PM (xqdqQ)

That's not funny!

Posted by: Approved Feminist at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (RD7QR)

457 Sara Conner - AKA Linda Hamilton. Linda Hamilton was damn fine in her prime ... they dressed her down for Terminator.

She and Brie Larson ain't even in the same category. Thoroughbreds vs Greyhounds.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (X12/X)

458 So would gay Captain America be a bottom?

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (BXMxN)

459 I hate Starship Troopers because it took one of the best military Sci-fi novels ever written, a plot that *could* have been the source for one of the greatest sci-fi action movies ever made - and it shit in it's mouth and laughed at us for noticing.
Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:31 PM (Kpl3J)


Hard to make it an action movie since the majority of it takes place away from combat.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (wCmLp)

460 437 Next Captain American will be gay.
Sorry.

http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk

Scene from next Captain America Movie:

Thanos - "ON YOUR KNEES BEFORE ME!!!"

Captain America, giggling - "Oh please, I was hoping you would say that, you big hunk you!!!"

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (Kpl3J)

461 >> "As fans beg for Captain America to come out"


His shield is like a male hymen.

Posted by: garrett at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (aBj10)

462 Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman > Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor


Bullshit. Lynda Carter as wonder woman never showed poky nipples.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (fuK7c)

463 447 438 About all this Marvel comics stuff...I feel like a fish on the outside of the aquarium looking in. I just don't get this alien world.
Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (JoUsr)

That's how I feel on the gardening threads

Jah, it's not for everyone. Thankfully.

People like different stuff.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM


*****

Makes me want to cheer for Syndrome. If everyone is friggin' Super, then no one is.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (0tfLf)

464 446 Sarah Connor in Terminator is no action hero.By T2 she is but in a believable way.Ripley in Alien is just strugglig to survive ,she is no steely eyed courageous her.In Aliens she is superior to the Marines after a 10 minute lesson with a pulse rifle from Hicks.
Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (BXMxN)

Eh. Ripley doesn't get into a lot of gunfights. She wins by being tough and determined...and by being able to pilot powered lifters, which the movie spends time establishing before she even goes to LV426.

She isn't 'more Marine than Marine', IMO.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (bcbK8)

465 People like different stuff.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (bcbK

Counterpoint: I do not like different stuff.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (IqOTP)

466
A remake of The Longest Day. The Allies will be very diverse maybe Whoopi Goldberg as Eisenhower and the Germans instead of wearing the standard German WWII uniforms will all be in MAGA gear. It will be a surefire winner!!!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (OLCnA)

467 They set out to make a girl-power statement --



See, that was the mistake out of the gate (although they could not have done otherwise, it's who they are), they should've set out to TELL AN ENGAGING STORY. (Sorry for shouting).

Posted by: Flyover at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (B5K06)

468 452 She marches into the hive and wrecks it solo,Come on.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (BXMxN)

469 Shlitz = the shitz

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (IXZGh)

470 462 Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman > Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor


Bullshit. Lynda Carter as wonder woman never showed poky nipples.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (fuK7c)

We will need extensive research on this topic.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (bcbK8)

471 I used to work in the "art" community.
There was a time when, in order to sell anything you had to be a) gay and b) HIV positive.

I made for the exits.

Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (w7KSn)

472 I guess you guys forget the whole rescue of Newt secene....

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (BXMxN)

473 At least do some ass padding on the Captain Marvel costume.

Posted by: MAGA at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (iT5FI)

474 Brie Larsen is the Kriss Angel of Truculent Tuchuses of Flatland. In 2D.

Posted by: Ambiguously Gay Richard Simmons at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (RVOHk)

475 >>It's when she's in the load lifter that she gets confident and awesome. Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:41 PM (q8oeS)

It's when she's in the load lifter that Zod roots for the alien to pick her out of it like the last morsel from a sardine tin.

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (Bdeb0)

476 In Aliens she is superior to the Marines after a 10 minute lesson with a pulse rifle from Hicks."

But that's explained by the Marines getting stuck having to follow orders from an idiotic commander. At least Ripley can ignore him.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (Kpl3J)

477 Didja hear about that time that Captain Marvel flew backwards into a neutrino star?



Yeah, man.....disaster!

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (ymnmz)

478 I love the first one, but most people here hate it with a passion.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:26 PM (q8oeS)

I don't think my hate for that movie can be measured.

Posted by: Dave Frenchy at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (J70i0)

479 We will need extensive research on this topic.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (bcbK

The slow motion jog must be examined extensively.

Posted by: I like cookies at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (xxAFD)

480 There aren't that many more "firsts" left- first female action hero, first female lead, blah blah blah..

First one to parallel park successfully is still available.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (YqDXo)

481 BTW if she sneaks out with Newt instead of destroying the queen's egg sac the queen and all the aliens get nuked and they get away scot dpfree,

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (BXMxN)

482 Ha!

Remember when Ace came out as a
MIND FREAK!?

Posted by: garrett at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (aBj10)

483 466
A remake of The Longest Day. The Allies will be very diverse maybe Whoopi Goldberg as Eisenhower and the Germans instead of wearing the standard German WWII uniforms will all be in MAGA gear. It will be a surefire winner!!!
________________________________________

And make sure there is no winner. We need a neutral result that doesn't incentivize or glorify violence.

In the end, we all win!

Posted by: Unicorn McButt-Rainbow at March 06, 2019 12:45 PM (1beh4)

484 ok, take bets on when the first tranny superhero "comes out"

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 06, 2019 12:45 PM (d7Ww2)

485 481 BTW if she sneaks out with Newt instead of destroying the queen's egg sac the queen and all the aliens get nuked and they get away scot dpfree,
Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (BXMxN)

============

How dare someone in a high pressure situation not think several steps ahead like a chess match?!?!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:45 PM (q8oeS)

486 >>>Suddenly I don't feel quite so bad about my knowledge of the anime shipgirl phenomenon.

You haven't lived until you've read some SuperWhoLock shipping fanfics over on Tumblr.

Mister Metokur did a video years ago on it, back when he was still Internet Aristocrat. It's truly magical shit and I think most of the authors there grew up to write for Disney/Marvel.

Posted by: El Kabong at March 06, 2019 12:45 PM (datdl)

487 Not arguing with a guy who likes Prometheus.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:46 PM (BXMxN)

488 473
At least do some ass padding on the Captain Marvel costume.

Posted by: MAGA at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (iT5FI)


It's funny cause she has no ass and giant fake boobies. Fight the gender norms Brie!

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:46 PM (ymnmz)

489 I could get 500 comments on an article. Totally.

Posted by: AllahPundit at March 06, 2019 12:46 PM (SkuXa)

490 I am gleefully anticipating the Pitch Meeting take on this "film".

Posted by: Joe Mama at March 06, 2019 12:46 PM (883zS)

491 466
A remake of The Longest Day. The Allies will be very diverse maybe Whoopi Goldberg as Eisenhower and the Germans instead of wearing the standard German WWII uniforms will all be in MAGA gear. It will be a surefire winner!!!
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (OLCnA)

This was my problem with the Overlord WW2 zombie movie.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:46 PM (bcbK8)

492 Alita Battle Angel is better in every way.

Posted by: Monarchist Pikachu - The Enlightenment was a Mistake at March 06, 2019 12:46 PM (P6s1q)

493 Looked at the ingredients and voila (or, you know, however you say voila in Mexican). They're marketing it with nostalgia.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 06, 2019 12:25 PM (fuK7c)


"orale" or "oiga" I am guessing.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 06, 2019 12:46 PM (mUa7G)

494 Hard to make it an action movie since the majority of it takes place away from combat.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (wCmLp)


Didn't have to be. Training could have been good, especially the survival stuff. You got the fight with the Merchant Marines. If anything, his swing through OCS would have been the tough sell.

Bottom line - they didn't want to make a movie where you ain't owed a damn thing because of your pedigree. Which is a big theme of Troopers. You either do the job, or you GTFO.

And they sure didn't want to make a movie showing that - if ever faced with a superior existential threat - Humanity will shitcan 99% of Liberalism in a New York Second.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:46 PM (X12/X)

495
Linda Hamilton was crazy hot in the first Terminator. It was really indefinable, maybe the "illusion of attainability" thing.
I think , despite the memorable underpants strip in Alien, square-jaw Sigourney maxed her attractiveness in Ghostbusters and went downhill from there.

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (LL1Be)

496
452 446 In Aliens she is superior to the Marines after a 10 minute lesson with a pulse rifle from Hicks.
Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (BXMxN)

=============

No she's not. She's panicky with the rifle and barely gets away.

It's when she's in the load lifter that she gets confident and awesome.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:41 PM (q8oeS)







And it's believable, because she's taken on the Mom role with Newt. Don't matter if you're a giant, super-strong xenomorph that eats humans like popcorn, Mom's gonna cut a bitch if you threaten her kids.

Which is funny because that's exactly the same role that the Alien Queen is filling after Ripley torched her eggs in the atmosphere processor.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (veoSD)

497 Who names their daughter after soft cheese?

Posted by: Cannibal Bob 'it all tastes like chicken' at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (fa7ID)

498 465 People like different stuff.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:40 PM (bcbK

Counterpoint: I do not like different stuff.
Posted by: hogmartin at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (IqOTP)

Welcome home, the Internet said

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (bcbK8)

499 Superheroes are defined by their limitations -- Superman's Kryptonite, Batman's mortality -- but Captain Marvel is just an invincible bore.

Much like in computer games, where you can have infinite ammo, impenetrable armor, an infinite number of lives ...

Who plays something like that for more than ten minutes?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (YqDXo)

500 Toward the end of the movie, when a villain preparing for an epic confrontation with Carol, the fighter pilot turned Superwoman, chides her that she will fail because she can't control her emotions, there is no tension whatsoever. We've just spent two hours watching her be utterly unfazed by anything.

I was really hoping it was going to be largely not about grrrls vs men and not about men being sexist bullies but... they had to go here? That's the taunt? You're too emotional?

And the guy on the bus. Its looking like its going to be one long series of boys being terrible or weak or underestimating her etc etc

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:48 PM (39g3+)

501 PITCH MEETING
SO the hot girl has no ass? How are we going to explain the hot fit girl has no ass?

It will be super easy. Barely an inconvenience.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at March 06, 2019 12:48 PM (pw+jk)

502 354 Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (Kpl3J)


I watched both 'Support Your Local Sheriff' and 'Support Your Local Gunfighter' a couple weeks ago. Not great movies, but charming and entertaining. And that's all I ask for. Movies are entertainment, actors are entertainers...be entertaining.


Posted by: Stu Podaso at March 06, 2019 12:48 PM (JM21/)

503 I recall just last year someone was talking about remaking "Lord of the Flies" with an all female cast, and fem critics were already saying "you can't do that, because if it was all girls they would all be cooperating and everyone would be happy and no one would be left out."

well I think it actually just be about 3 or 4 circles of girls sitting on the beach saying mean things about each other while they all gradually starved to death.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:48 PM (Kpl3J)

504 495
Linda Hamilton was crazy hot in the first Terminator. It was really indefinable, maybe the "illusion of attainability" thing.
I think , despite the memorable underpants strip in Alien, square-jaw Sigourney maxed her attractiveness in Ghostbusters and went downhill from there.
Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (LL1Be)

Sigourney looked good to me in Alien 4 and Galaxy Quest. But I'm into the MILF thing.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:48 PM (bcbK8)

505 I just wish Captain Marvel had come out AFTER Avengers: Endgame. I hate that a nearly perfect decade of super hero films has been tainted before it came to a satisfying conclusion.

Posted by: Max Power at March 06, 2019 12:48 PM (q177U)

506 Who names their daughter after soft cheese?
Posted by: Cannibal Bob 'it all tastes like chicken' at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (fa7ID)


The same dipshit that would name their kid "apple" or "abcde."

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (IXZGh)

507 480
There aren't that many more "firsts" left- first female action hero, first female lead, blah blah blah..



First one to parallel park successfully is still available.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:44 PM (YqDXo)


I'm pretty sure that after 25 Fast and Furious movies at least one woman power slid into to a parking spot ahead of some dude for a quick snarky quip.

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (ymnmz)

508 the angels were action heroes, but all had the soft side for their men.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (Cus5s)

509 496 And it's believable, because she's taken on the Mom role with Newt. Don't matter if you're a giant, super-strong xenomorph that eats humans like popcorn, Mom's gonna cut a bitch if you threaten her kids.

Which is funny because that's exactly the same role that the Alien Queen is filling after Ripley torched her eggs in the atmosphere processor.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (veoSD)

==========

It's almost like James Cameron, once, knew how to structure a story really fucking well.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (q8oeS)

510 444 Speaking of Coke, had anyone tried the new Orange Vanilla flavor?

hmm. sounds interesting, given that i grew up in the land of spezi and am therefore predisposed to enjoy a good orange coke.

Posted by: Anachronda at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (sGtp+)

511 And make sure there is no winner. We need a neutral result that doesn't incentivize or glorify violence.

In the end, we all win!
Posted by: Unicorn McButt-Rainbow at March 06, 2019 12:45 PM (1beh4)


In the end, the Allies and the Nazis give each other makeovers, then all go the mall to shop for shoes.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (YqDXo)

512 I think , despite the memorable underpants strip in Alien, square-jaw Sigourney maxed her attractiveness in Ghostbusters and went downhill from there.
______________________________________

Galaxy Quest was a helluva comeback attempt, though.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:50 PM (1beh4)

513 >>A remake of The Longest Day. The Allies will be very diverse maybe Whoopi Goldberg as Eisenhower Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (OLCnA)

Yes. And the entire squad of diverse Allied commandoes are captured. And sorted.

"I'm afraid none of you even barely resembles the master race. Accordingly, you must be put down. Obergefreiter?"
"Sir?"
"Execute them."
"Sir!"

Posted by: Zod at March 06, 2019 12:50 PM (Bdeb0)

514 You know you're in trouble when you walk by the fitting room on film day and the costume designer blurts out an "oh, that's unfortunate....."

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:50 PM (IXZGh)

515 >>after 25 Fast and Furious movies


How is the success of that franchise not a sign of the apocalypse?

Posted by: garrett at March 06, 2019 12:50 PM (aBj10)

516 Who plays something like that for more than ten minutes?

Yeah the only time I use that is if I fight through a tough area then it crashes and I have to reload, so I fire up god mode to blast through it to get to the point I was at.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:50 PM (39g3+)

517 Galaxy Quest was a helluva comeback attempt, though.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:50 PM (1beh4)


She looked mighty good to me in Galaxy Quest.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (X12/X)

518 515 >>after 25 Fast and Furious movies


How is the success of that franchise not a sign of the apocalypse?
Posted by: garrett at March 06, 2019 12:50 PM (aBj10)

===========

Is it really that different from the dumb as a box of rocks disaster movies of the 70s?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (q8oeS)

519 This just in...
R Kelly blames parents for selling their daughters to him.

Now THAT's a defense

Posted by: Bruce at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (8ikIW)

520 A work without some kind of tension in it is boring. The stakes do not have to be high, but there has to be something. The problem with Captain Marvel is the problem with Superman.

Once the character has overcome the struggle to learn and control the powers, then what? If the character is just invincible, that character is boring. The trope of the most powerful character having his/her powers leashed without that character knowing and then having that character flip out (think Dark Phoenix) when the powers are unleashed is to give interest to an otherwise invincible character.

Oh. Look. Superman is going to win. Again. Yawn.

Conflict is interesting. Look at this perfect character be perfect is boring.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (mf5HN)

521 I'm pretty sure that after 25 Fast and Furious movies at least one woman power slid into to a parking spot ahead of some dude for a quick snarky quip.
Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (ymnmz)


But the $64,000 question: did she power slide in on purpose?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (YqDXo)

522 >>>505 I just wish Captain Marvel had come out AFTER Avengers: Endgame. I hate that a nearly perfect decade of super hero films has been tainted before it came to a satisfying conclusion.

Nah, Marvel did this on purpose. To trick people into seeing CM, believing it had some major tie into Endgame. Rather than being about space cats puking up tesseracts and shitty 90s song fight montages.

Posted by: El Kabong at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (datdl)

523 OT: But I bought the audio books for Herodotus Histories and for Plutarch's Lives.

Good stuff to listen to on my morning compute.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (bcbK8)

524 499
Superheroes are defined by their limitations -- Superman's
Kryptonite, Batman's mortality -- but Captain Marvel is just an
invincible bore.



Much like in computer games, where you can have infinite ammo, impenetrable armor, an infinite number of lives ...



Who plays something like that for more than ten minutes?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:47 PM (YqDXo)


Captain Marvel can't wear booty shorts without them falling down? Limitation status confirmed.

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:52 PM (ymnmz)

525 I think she had a better ass in Galaxy Quest than Brie has in Captain Marvel.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:52 PM (1beh4)

526 after 25 Fast and Furious movies


How is the success of that franchise not a sign of the apocalypse?
Posted by: garrett at March 06, 2019 12:50 PM (aBj10)


Those movies are the dog shit in the back yard that looks like cement......

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:52 PM (IXZGh)

527
Counterpoint: I do not like different stuff.
Posted by: hogmartin at March 06, 2019 12:42 PM (IqOTP)


Some of us . . . Are made of stuff.

https://youtu.be/MIcA3dt8Qe8

Posted by: Kindltot at March 06, 2019 12:52 PM (mUa7G)

528 >>Look at this perfect character be perfect is boring.


Never hurt Dani Daniels.

Posted by: garrett at March 06, 2019 12:52 PM (aBj10)

529 I just wish Captain Marvel had come out AFTER Avengers: Endgame. I hate that a nearly perfect decade of super hero films has been tainted before it came to a satisfying conclusion.

Lost that opportunity with the woeful Infinity War. If that had been a DC movie everyone would have panned it. Starting out with having Superman beat to a paste in a CGI bore fest and never showing up again.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:52 PM (39g3+)

530 So when do we get an unapologetic pedophile superhero? You just know it's going to happen sooner or later.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 06, 2019 12:53 PM (NWiLs)

531
Will you people lay off on Brie's ass? I'd rather have that than Mount Kardashian.

Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion'
at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (8erNz)

Some people like the Rockies and some people like Nebraska.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at March 06, 2019 12:53 PM (TAmPV)

532 They should have cast Jessica Rothe as Captain Marvel. She has great charisma onscreen and I could picture her making Carol Danvers fun. She is also crazy watchable even in a movie that's not great (Happy Death Day 2U).

Posted by: JessiP at March 06, 2019 12:53 PM (PsdJu)

533 She looked mighty good to me in Galaxy Quest.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (X12/X)


One of the best parts of Galaxy Quest is watching Sigourney's uniform get ripped and the zipper getting lower and lower.

That and the chompers freak out.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 06, 2019 12:53 PM (mf5HN)

534 92 68 ITS FUNNY BECAUSE BREE LARSON HAS A FLAT ASS AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY EMOTIONAL RANGE IN THIS MOVIE: HER ACTING IS "FLAT". SO IT IS A PUN ON THE WORD FLAT.
Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER

thank you for clarifying, Ben!
Posted by: ace at March 06, 2019 12:01 PM

Hopefully Ben can help clarify the "flat" comparisons to Rachel Corrie next!

Posted by: Grimaldi at March 06, 2019 12:53 PM (fz/cD)

535 or "abcde"

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (IXZGh)

That's a fucking h8r right there.

Posted by: FGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ at March 06, 2019 12:53 PM (fa7ID)

536 Who names their daughter after soft cheese?

"Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking ?"

Posted by: JT at March 06, 2019 12:53 PM (nwYk7)

537 529 I just wish Captain Marvel had come out AFTER Avengers: Endgame. I hate that a nearly perfect decade of super hero films has been tainted before it came to a satisfying conclusion.

Lost that opportunity with the woeful Infinity War. If that had been a DC movie everyone would have panned it. Starting out with having Superman beat to a paste in a CGI bore fest and never showing up again.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:52 PM (39g3+)

============

I feel a fight coming on...

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:53 PM (XSSCs)

538 530 So when do we get an unapologetic pedophile superhero? You just know it's going to happen sooner or later.

Yes!

Posted by: Kevin Spacey at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (1beh4)

539 That and the chompers freak out.
Posted by: alexthechick

AOC in an uncredited roll

Posted by: Bruce at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (8ikIW)

540 Ok, one thing I don't understand is why people complain about women beating up guys in action movies. Of course it's unrealistic. Just like every other thing in those movies is unrealistic. I like watching chicks beat up people in movies. It's fun. Just like I enjoyed Captain America dispatching all those bad guys in that elevator scene even though he had the use of only one arm.

Am I stupid enough to think it would happened in real life? No. Only the most brain addled feminist would think so.

Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (9hauA)

541 This just in...
R Kelly blames parents for selling their daughters to him.

Now THAT's a defense
Posted by: Bruce at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (8ikIW)


It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Lets see how it works out for him.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (IXZGh)

542 > despite the memorable underpants strip in Alien,

Yeah, that scene got a lot of rewinding when the fam got their first VCR back in the day.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (0OWcv)

543 But I bought the audio books for Herodotus Histories and for Plutarch's Lives.

I should do that. I've tried to read both and they are not an easy read, especially lives. But they are very important in history and understanding human nature, and having someone else read them might help.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (39g3+)

544 521 I'm pretty sure that after 25 Fast and Furious movies at least one woman power slid into to a parking spot ahead of some dude for a quick snarky quip.
Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (ymnmz)

But the $64,000 question: did she power slide in on purpose?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM

They could keep the streak going by spicing it up a bit - "Fast and Furry-ous - A Sex Kitten and her Car!"

you know you'd watch it.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (Kpl3J)

545 They're admitting it's bad because they know it's gonna bomb. They don't want to give "us" a win so they are just gonna say it was a bad movie. Nothing to do with any wokeness or brokeness.

Posted by: ... at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (VeTjl)

546 So when do we get an unapologetic pedophile superhero? You just know it's going to happen sooner or later.
Posted by: Insomniac

Call me for a script.

Posted by: NAMBLAman at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (883zS)

547 Next Captain American will be gay.
Sorry.

http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk
Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (w7KSn)


Good make him a flouncing queen and change his name to Rear Admiral. Really force the leftist agenda down people's throats and kill off Commiewood

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (OLCnA)

548 I never saw Infinity War because the changing of Thanos motivations just rubbed me the wrong way.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (BXMxN)

549 I do not identity as a block of wood

Posted by: Brie Larson at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (P6s1q)

550 Am I the only one that thinks comic book movies suck?

Posted by: MJ at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (LQtHg)

551
It's almost like James Cameron, once, knew how to structure a story really fucking well.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (q8oeS)








Which makes me wonder just how much of Cameron's supposed film prowess had to do with Gale Ann Hurd, because there's a definite drop-off in quality after he kicked her to the curb.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (veoSD)

552 547 Next Captain American will be gay.
Sorry.

http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk
Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (w7KSn)


Good make him a flouncing queen and change his name to Rear Admiral. Really force the leftist agenda down people's throats and kill off Commiewood
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (OLCnA)

=============

"The only reason the Marvel universe failed was because we lost the original stars."
-Hollywood memo, 2023

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (XSSCs)

553 Sigourney looked good to me in Alien 4 and Galaxy Quest. But I'm into the MILF thing.

"Galaxy Quest" yep, strong argument there.

Teenage me liked Sigourney just fine, not knocking her at all. But I fell in love with Linda Hamilton. Part of it might have been watching her go from ditzy, blue collar Valley girl to tough partner and warrior against an implacable monster.

Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (LL1Be)

554 Didn't Disney already make this movie? Except they called it "Honey, I shrunk the ass."

Posted by: pincorrect at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (1LZQN)

555 I feel a fight coming on.

Nah, once the stars are out of your eyes and you have enough distance from the franchise, you'll watch it objectively as a film and story and realize what I've been saying all along.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (39g3+)

556 >>Am I the only one that thinks comic book movies suck?


Not by a mile. Really, almost all movies suck.

Posted by: garrett at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (aBj10)

557 The James Madison, Hit Girl was a hoot in the first movie. Second one was not as good, though. Chloe was a pretty good vampire as well. I hope she is never cast as normal person.

Posted by: Eromero at March 06, 2019 12:56 PM (zLDYs)

558 5 Brie has a butter face.
* gonna argue that. Physically speaking she is quite pretty.

Top half of bod is rather nice.

But a 1x6 has a better bum then she does.

But the primary issue is her "you owe me alimony" ( i stole that ) face.
it never changes - she would have been great in that terminator movie with the female terminator. robot/brie/robot... right right?

Posted by: Fox at March 06, 2019 12:56 PM (UuVBv)

559 The original avengers get along famously. But I saw somewhere that they didn't like working with Larson. Is it true or just a malicious rumor. I can see it going either way.

Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 12:56 PM (9hauA)

560 468
452 She marches into the hive and wrecks it solo,Come on.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:43 PM (BXMxN)


Not one acid splatter scar too boot!

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:56 PM (ymnmz)

561 Women do believe they are the physical equal of men.It is now accepted as fact and you are a crazy hater if you suggest there are any differences between men and women.

Posted by: steevy at March 06, 2019 12:56 PM (BXMxN)

562 Also Brie Larson is so man hatey I wonder if she recently got her heart broken by some dde

========
I read somewhere that her parents had a bad divorce so I'm presuming Daddy Issuse Feminazi™

Posted by: Vlad the implaer, whittling away like mad at March 06, 2019 12:56 PM (shkju)

563 547 Next Captain American will be gay.
Sorry.

http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk
Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (w7KSn)


Good make him a flouncing queen and change his name to Rear Admiral. Really force the leftist agenda down people's throats and kill off Commiewood
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (OLCnA)

Thteve Rogerth

Posted by: Insomniac at March 06, 2019 12:56 PM (NWiLs)

564 Ace is NOOD and Gray

Posted by: Bruce at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (8ikIW)

565 551
It's almost like James Cameron, once, knew how to structure a story really fucking well.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (q8oeS)








Which makes me wonder just how much of Cameron's supposed film prowess had to do with Gale Ann Hurd, because there's a definite drop-off in quality after he kicked her to the curb.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (veoSD)

===========

Wouldn't surprise me, to be honest.

Wait...this is a conservative site. I'm supposed to hate women, right?

NO!!!!!! Gale Ann Hurd is a dirty ho-bag and can't write anything!!!!

Oh, wait again...we don't actually hate women's success in movies.

Weird...

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (XSSCs)

566 Next Captain American will be gay.
Sorry.

http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk
Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (w7KSn)


Because the world is clamoring for SNL's Ambiguously Gay Duo to go mainstream.........

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (IXZGh)

567 > I can't believe Nicole Perlman helped with this script, considering she helped guide Guardians of the Galaxy to the box office. What the hell, Nicole?

To be fair, Groot had a better ass to work with.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (0OWcv)

568 559
The original avengers get along famously. But I saw somewhere that they
didn't like working with Larson. Is it true or just a malicious rumor. I
can see it going either way.

Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 12:56 PM (9hauA)


I'm sure Brie and Iron Downy Junior get along really well.

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (ymnmz)

569 549 I do not identity as a block of wood
Posted by: Brie Larson at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (P6s1q)

Your ass identifies as a sheet of plywood.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (NWiLs)

570 I do not identity as a block of wood
Posted by: Brie Larson at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (P6s1q)


PLANK!!!

Posted by: Ed, Edd and Eddy at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (IXZGh)

571 555 I feel a fight coming on.

Nah, once the stars are out of your eyes and you have enough distance from the franchise, you'll watch it objectively as a film and story and realize what I've been saying all along.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (39g3+)

===========

Not with me.

I like the movie fine, but I don't love it.

There is a commenter here, who shall remain nameless, who feels like Infinity War should have won Best Picture.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (XSSCs)

572 154 They could make a movie with Gal Godot talking and running around and just being Gal Godot and I would pay 15 dollars to see that.

I don't care if you call her Wonder Woman or vanilla custard. I'd go.

And another thing, Spanky. If she doesn't show up in a James Bond movie one of these days, I will be highly disappointed.

Highly.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at March 06, 2019 12:08 PM (1beh4)



Now THAT is the definition of HOT.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (sy5kK)

573 Just to show how much the "narrative" has infected the critics, here's Peter Travers from Rolling Stone :
"But a dynamite Brie Larson gives hell to cosmic villains and sexist trolls."


Rolling Stone should go back to ginning up rape hoaxes. At least they're semi-plausible, if you have a room temperature IQ.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:58 PM (YqDXo)

574 566
Next Captain American will be gay.

Sorry.



http://tinyurl.com/y5zww7vk

Posted by: navybrat is sticking with 1080p at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (w7KSn)





Because the world is clamoring for SNL's Ambiguously Gay Duo to go mainstream.........

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (IXZGh)


Been there done that.

Posted by: batman and Robin at March 06, 2019 12:58 PM (ymnmz)

575 Nah, once the stars are out of your eyes and you have enough distance from the franchise, you'll watch it objectively as a film and story and realize what I've been saying all along.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (39g3+)

You are one of my very favorite commenters, but as an MCU fangurl, I'm going to stop up my ears and go I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 12:59 PM (9hauA)

576 But I fell in love with Linda Hamilton. Part of it might have been watching her go from ditzy, blue collar Valley girl to tough partner and warrior against an implacable monster.

What she became in Terminator 2 was a perfectly natural progression, too. It was exactly right for her character. Mom who will do anything for her son because he has to save the world.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:59 PM (39g3+)

577 Brie Larson so wooden, when she delivers her lines it sound like clog dancing.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 06, 2019 12:59 PM (kwakj)

578 Ok, one thing I don't understand is why people
complain about women beating up guys in action movies.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (9hauA)


Because to see it once is novel. To see it several times is routine.

To see it over and over and fucking over again and again and again is propaganda for the New Strong Superior Woman. And they can stick that shit straight up their candy asses.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:59 PM (X12/X)

579 If it looks like shit and smells like shit...

...it must be Millennial Feminism!

Posted by: Hikaru at March 06, 2019 12:59 PM (UnA8+)

580 Am I the only one that thinks comic book movies suck?

Posted by: MJ at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (LQtHg)


No.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 01:00 PM (IXZGh)

581 >>How is the success of that franchise not a sign of the apocalypse?


Eh, they're stupid fun.
They're also a great option for young boys who don't want to watch the 99% of other movies targeted at them that are SJW message laundry lists (e.g. climate change, girl power blah blah blah). Fast cars, fun (and diverse) cast, the Rock - it works for escapism.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 06, 2019 01:00 PM (W+vEI)

582 Ok, I do admit I was angry after infinity wars.

On Brie Larsons prettiness, I think she's like your average sorta pretty girl, nothing to write home about. Quite generic and unmemorable.

Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 01:01 PM (9hauA)

583 Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (9hauA)

I fully agree. Ultimately, storytelling and the rule of cool are everything in a superhero movie. If we wanted realism, we'd watch the South Korean version of C-SPAN (do they still have those bench clearing Parliamentary brawls these days?).

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 01:01 PM (J+mig)

584 Brie won an Oscar?! Shoulda given her a Most Overrated Annoying Actress Who Isn't Gwyneth Paltrow award.

Posted by: JuJuBee at March 06, 2019 01:01 PM (4KIAS)

585 Next Captain American will be gay.

Wouldn't shock me at all if they came out with that about Bucky: he's queer, and a tortured soul!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (39g3+)

586 Jessica Chastain already took home the award for aggravating bitch who ain't Paltrow.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (kwakj)

587 >>They could make a movie with Gal Godot talking and running around and just being Gal Godot and I would pay 15 dollars to see that.


Also, she was in several Fast and Furious movies.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (W+vEI)

588
While this fantasy girl tosses around large men in the movies, in real life undistinguished male weirdos are competing against top-rated women in sports and winning every time. And the same confederacy of dickheads are responsible for both of these things. And they don't care if their monkeyshines mean that their movies and sporting events lose money and destroy franchises.

I think they're just out to get us, simple as that. Instead of spending money on ICBMs, they're spending it on this.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (R6x36)

589 Because to see it once is novel. To see it several times is routine.

To see it over and over and fucking over again and again and again is propaganda for the New Strong Superior Woman. And they can stick that shit straight up their candy asses.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 12:59 PM (X12/X)

I disagree. If men can continue to kick butt in ridiculously unrealistic ways, so can women. No need to read anything into it (usually).

Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (9hauA)

590 There is a commenter here, who shall remain nameless, who feels like Infinity War should have won Best Picture.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (XSSCs)

That's an objective fact, really.

As much as I wanna see this movie bomb, that's not gonna happen. Like TJM said, mimimun is Dr. Strange numbers.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at March 06, 2019 01:03 PM (AZwlJ)

591 Teenage me liked Sigourney just fine, not knocking her at all. But I fell in love with Linda Hamilton. Part of it might have been watching her go from ditzy, blue collar Valley girl to tough partner and warrior against an implacable monster.
Posted by: mikeyG at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (LL1Be)



Best special effects in T2 are Linda Hamilton's biceps. Nothing beats practical effects. Also trivium. She has a twin sister who does stand in work on her films. So her sister had to get in that shape too.

Sarah Connor's character in T2 was effective because it showed loss. She had to burn away everything, including her sanity, to try to save her son and try to save the world. There was a cost, a brutal cost, to doing what she had to do. The scene where the guy licks her face is so offputting not simply due to the obvious reasons and implications but because she was willing to put up with it in order to get what she wanted.

That's an actual character, not just a cartoon action figure.

Oh and since Fast and Furious was mentioned, it's been noted for years that the F ambersand F franchise has the most diverse most cast of any major movie series probably ever. But you don't hear them talking about it because Vin's too busy standing next to the printing press making him all that money and laughing his ass off about it.

White, black, mixed race, Latino, Asian, whatever dude. Let's show buff guys and hot girls and fast cars and explosions and then go swimming in our Scrooge McDuck money vault.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 06, 2019 01:04 PM (mf5HN)

592 I think they're just out to get us, simple as that. Instead of spending money on ICBMs, they're spending it on this.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (R6x36)


Hitler shuffled a shit-pot of resources to Goebbels, who used it in modern cinema and art, for a damn good reason.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 01:04 PM (X12/X)

593 Captain Marvel is essentially an even more perfect comic hero than Black Panther. Black Panther was essentially depicted as perfect too (impeccably intelligent and well-educated, super strong, articulate, yet "authentically" black), but had to overcome a bit more than it sounds Captain Marvel did in this movie (since she is super-powered).

That's why the SJWs turned on the movie "Green Book". The black pianist (after being carefully researched by director Farrelly) was accurately depicted as somewhat flawed--he was a bit of an elitist who was out of touch with a lot of things. Yet they wanted him to also be as street-smart as his white companion who was essentially a hood. They wanted that character to have no flaws, and thus no character arc. Captain marvel has no character arc--she's superman without a weakness to kryptonite or Lois Lane. Black Panther essentially had no character arc. Other than losing his title briefly, he was essentially the same person, and didn't really have to change anything about himself to get it back.

Posted by: beroat at March 06, 2019 01:05 PM (gJAok)

594 How dare someone in a high pressure situation not think several steps ahead like a chess match?!?!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:45 PM (q8oeS)

Well, she went off on the queen because the queen had a face hugger try and get her.

Posted by: Dave Frenchy at March 06, 2019 01:05 PM (J70i0)

595 I do not identity as a block of wood
Posted by: Brie Larson

Right here.

Posted by: Kristen Stewart at March 06, 2019 01:06 PM (6rX0K)

596 nood, terrorist woman

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 01:07 PM (bcbK8)

597 Will you people lay off on Brie's ass? I'd rather have that than Mount Kardashian.



Posted by: JEM, would-be writer of the upcoming musical 'Condo Conversion' at March 06, 2019 12:28 PM (8erNz)



That's the typical liberal "take it to extremes" approach.



Never go full libtard.

Posted by: Sponge at March 06, 2019 12:39 PM (IXZGh)


Maybe a generational thing?

I know nothing of the woman herself, but I do find her posterior appealing.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at March 06, 2019 01:08 PM (6JL3d)

598 I disagree. If men can continue to kick butt in
ridiculously unrealistic ways, so can women. No need to read anything
into it (usually).
Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (9hauA)


Let Hollywood come out with a string of movies, over the course of years, portraying young women as wasting their time going to college when they should be making babies. You'll care then.

My wife had the same question - Stumpy, it's just harmless fun. Why don't You and Boy like it ? The answer is simple - it's harmless fun to her because she's a chic ... and she likes the propaganda. Even if she's not pushing it - in the back of her mind - she knows she'll ride the resulting wave.


There is nothing "harmless" about it. Which is exactly why Hollywood is so invested in everyone seeing it, variations of it, and nothing but it.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 01:09 PM (X12/X)

599 I disagree. If men can continue to kick butt in ridiculously unrealistic ways, so can women. No need to read anything into it (usually).
Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (9hauA)

Unrealistic ass kicking is the bread and butter of the entire action genre. It works when it's done to tell fun stories. Guy? Girl? Doesn't matter, tell a good story where you can suspend disbelief and enjoy it with popcorn.

Lefty woke bulkshit doesn't make for good stories.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 01:09 PM (J+mig)

600 The Daughters of Katie Elder...Starring: Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, and Elizabeth Warren. Our story unfolds as the aging trio of hipster hooligans disrobe on a nude beach owned by Yoko Ono who parades about with upmost confidence as an example to the others to let it all hangout.

Posted by: Horror Films 'r' Us at March 06, 2019 01:09 PM (yhf6w)

601 While this fantasy girl tosses around large men in the movies, in real life undistinguished male weirdos are competing against top-rated women in sports and winning every time. And the same confederacy of dickheads are responsible for both of these things. And they don't care if their monkeyshines mean that their movies and sporting events lose money and destroy franchises.

I think they're just out to get us, simple as that. Instead of spending money on ICBMs, they're spending it on this.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug


And female cops are losing fights with suspects and firing more often.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 06, 2019 01:10 PM (6rX0K)

602 I don't like Coke that much anyway. Mexican Squirt is the bomb

======
The name Mexican Squirt conjures an image more appropriate to Urban Dictionary than is altogether comfortable

Posted by: Vlad the implaer, whittling away like mad at March 06, 2019 01:10 PM (shkju)

603 Unrealistic ass kicking is the bread and butter of the entire action genre. It works when it's done to tell fun stories. Guy? Girl? Doesn't matter, tell a good story where you can suspend disbelief and enjoy it with popcorn.

Lefty woke bulkshit doesn't make for good stories.
Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 01:09 PM (J+mig)

Agree. I've never missed an Avengers related flick but I think I'll skip this one, Ms. Larson.

Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 01:11 PM (9hauA)

604 571 555 I feel a fight coming on.

Nah, once the stars are out of your eyes and you have enough distance from the franchise, you'll watch it objectively as a film and story and realize what I've been saying all along.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 06, 2019 12:55 PM (39g3+)

===========

Not with me.

I like the movie fine, but I don't love it.

There is a commenter here, who shall remain nameless, who feels like Infinity War should have won Best Picture.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at March 06, 2019 12:57 PM (XSSCs)

I'm right, too.

Infinity War was audacious. Not flawless, but well more deserving of awards than Black Panther was

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 06, 2019 01:12 PM (bcbK8)

605 The everpresent, inescapable superwomen in film phenomenon is propaganda. Just like gays on TV was a thing for a while (maybe still is; I don't watch much anymore).

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 06, 2019 01:13 PM (kwakj)

606 If we're judging by how long I could sit through each ... I made it through the entirety of Infinity War - although I wouldn't watch it again. Black Panther had me for about twenty minutes.

Posted by: The Stumpy Dutchman at March 06, 2019 01:13 PM (X12/X)

607 If being female is defined as "exactly like a male, only more resilient," how interesting is that?
========
Yeah, so, I tend to take these things into consideration when I make stuff.

*Ahem*

You might want to follow my lead.

Posted by: YHWY at March 06, 2019 01:14 PM (mhY77)

608
I disagree. If men can continue to kick butt in
ridiculously unrealistic ways, so can women. No need to read anything
into it (usually).

Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 01:02 PM (9hauA)

I agree 100%. I've got no problems with women kicking unrealistic amounts of ass in movies, mostly because I'm into sci-fi and fantasy.

My whole family loved Battle Angel Alita, which was all about a waif of a girl ripping battle androids apart. Sure there are in-universe reasons for her superpowers, but when isn't there? It doesn't matter as long as it's done well!

Alita kicking ass and shredding hulking combat robots apart is no less unrealistic than Thor slugging an ice giant or whatever a hundred feet into the air.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at March 06, 2019 01:14 PM (6JL3d)

609 I hope Marvel doesn't plunge forward to have Captain Marvel be the centerpiece of this second phase of their Marvel Cinematic Universe (as Iron Man was to the first phase), as they said they had planned.

I don't think they'd risk their film franchise to morally preen, that's what their comic book division (whose profits are minimal at best) is for. This might have been a test run to gauge the backlash.

Even Lucas knew enough to pull back Jar Jar to a bit role after Phantom Menace, and you knew he had originally intended for him to be a major part of the prequel trilogy.

Posted by: gtfive at March 06, 2019 01:15 PM (gJAok)

610 Ah, I should have written "I agree with your disagreement" in my post at 608. o.o I realize now that the wording in my post seems to initially convey DISagreement with... the disagreement.

Okay retrospectively it was a poorly written post.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at March 06, 2019 01:15 PM (6JL3d)

611 Meant to type bullshit, somehow autocucumber made it bulkshit. I actually like that. Might have to use this word more often...

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 01:16 PM (J+mig)

612 It's funny to see how this whole movie is based on the flawed reasoning that the Force Awakens brought about the potential for "powerful female leads!"

Timeline:

October 2012 - Force Awakens announced

January 2013 - Leaks of a possible female lead
May 2013 - Capt Marvel development "begins"

April 2014 - Cast announced (Mary Sue Ridley)
October 2014 - Capt Marvel - July 2018 release

January 2015 - Capt Marvel pushed back: Nov 2018 release
October 2015 - Capt Marvel pushed back: March 2019 release
December 2015 - Star Wars released with big box office


July 2016 - Brie Larson introduced
July 2016 - Ghostbuster's bombs
November 2016 - Donald Trump Wins Election
December 2016 - Capt Marvel writers turn in final script

January 2017 - Women's March/Pussy hats
February 2017 - Writer states that despite being hired almost a year previously, they had only recently gotten their "marching orders" for the script. Important to make sure she is not "somebody who is a hero in spite of her femininity."
May 2017 - Last Jedi pushed back
May 2017 - Wonder Woman crushes at box office
September 2017 - 1st Capt Marvel Trailer drops, panned by everyone
Dec 2017 - Last Jedi Bombs

May 2018 - Solo! bombs
Dec 2018 - 2nd CM trailer drops (meh reaction)

Jan 2019 - 3rd CM trailer drops - buddy comedy!
Jan/Feb 2019 - Brie Larson unleashed for pre-emptive SJW attack

Posted by: bif at March 06, 2019 01:16 PM (aiyac)

613 Carol looks up an old friend, a fellow feminist fighter pilot named Rambeau.

A feminist named Rambeau? Are you kidding me? Sheesh, I can't think of how to get lamer than that.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at March 06, 2019 01:16 PM (o7l6R)

614 C'apn Marbles SPONGE BATH TIME.....oh minor interest
here...the skinny arsed one with pimples?

Posted by: saf at March 06, 2019 01:16 PM (5IHGB)

615 Even Lucas knew enough to pull back Jar Jar to a bit role after Phantom Menace, and you knew he had originally intended for him to be a major part of the prequel trilogy.
Posted by: gtfive at March 06, 2019 01:15 PM (gJAok)

Some speculate that he was going to be Palpatine's master, Darth Plaguis. It's an interesting idea.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 01:17 PM (J+mig)

616 Some speculate that he was going to be Palpatine's master, Darth Plaguis. It's an interesting idea.
Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 01:17 PM (J+mig)


Meesa say Kill 'Em All !!!

Posted by: Darth Jar Jar at March 06, 2019 01:19 PM (X12/X)

617 Even Lucas knew enough to pull back Jar Jar to a bit role after Phantom Menace, and you knew he had originally intended for him to be a major part of the prequel trilogy.
Posted by: gtfive at March 06, 2019 01:15 PM (gJAok)

Some speculate that he was going to be Palpatine's master, Darth Plaguis. It's an interesting idea.
Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 06, 2019 01:17 PM (J+mig)

That would have been much bolder storytelling to string out the bufoonish jar jar act for 2+ movies only to drop that bombshell. Sort of like Yoda's initial act with Luke, but prolonged for a couple of movies.

Posted by: gtfive at March 06, 2019 01:22 PM (gJAok)

618 Comic book movies are almost always shite anyway, so where is the news?

Posted by: Dooug at March 06, 2019 01:22 PM (XH1fU)

619 If it bombs, a video with a bunch of white guys saying "You messed with the patriarchy" would be fun.

Posted by: WOPR at March 06, 2019 01:27 PM (J70i0)

620 521 I'm pretty sure that after 25 Fast and Furious movies at least one woman power slid into to a parking spot ahead of some dude for a quick snarky quip.
Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (ymnmz)

But the $64,000 question: did she power slide in on purpose?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (YqDXo)

====

Wait... I'm almost certain that the teenager girl in the Vin Diesel movie "The Babysitter" did a power slide into a parking spot. The joke being that HE was teacher her to drive.

And the worst thing about this realization is that it might mean that I need to watch that movie again to be sure.

Posted by: Synova (reversion to pseudonymous) at March 06, 2019 01:32 PM (BD/yx)

621 521 I'm pretty sure that after 25 Fast and Furious movies at least one woman power slid into to a parking spot ahead of some dude for a quick snarky quip.
Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 06, 2019 12:49 PM (ymnmz)

But the $64,000 question: did she power slide in on purpose?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 06, 2019 12:51 PM (YqDXo)

The PACIFIER... dammit.

Posted by: Synova (reversion to pseudonymous) at March 06, 2019 01:33 PM (BD/yx)

622 the CGI budget for Captain Marvel II is HUGE

apparently they are going to render parts of Brie Larson into more "heroic" shape. . .

Posted by: hollywood insider at March 06, 2019 01:36 PM (0U+J7)

623 Ok, one thing I don't understand is why people
complain about women beating up guys in action movies.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (9hauA)

In superhero movies it's fine. In most action films though it pulls you out of the film. Did you see the video of the 5'10" 160 college punk trying to sucker punch the Christian guy and the other buff guy, 6'2" 230, simply catch the punch with his hand? Most people, at least pre-millennials, recognize that as realistic. Certain things people are willing to suspend belief. That's not one most of the time.

Posted by: WOPR at March 06, 2019 01:39 PM (J70i0)

624 "Sylphlike" seems to be a polite way of saying "flat assed".

@3 They would've gotten more butts in seats if they'd casted Bree Olson instead of Brie Larson.

They would have indeed. At least Miss Olson has a butt

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/463870830340415848/

Posted by: Pervy Grin at March 06, 2019 01:44 PM (Y8raZ)

625 I "Marvel" @ tha comics that have no big titties or asses
....signed OAC

Posted by: saf at March 06, 2019 01:54 PM (5IHGB)

626 It's got a 5.6 on IMDb, which normally gives 8+ for MCU movies.

Posted by: David Gillies at March 06, 2019 02:05 PM (Jipp3)

627 Thing with SJW crap - it is disrespectful of women in general. What makes a great story is the heroes journey. Since SJW heroes are already perfect, there is no journey. Just a really boring lecture.

Its disrespectful since it treats women as less than fully formed human beings, warts and all.

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at March 06, 2019 02:22 PM (AJj50)

628 Should have made the movie with a woman who doesn't think resting bitch face is acting.

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at March 06, 2019 02:24 PM (AJj50)

629 623 Ok, one thing I don't understand is why people
complain about women beating up guys in action movies. Posted by: chique d'afrique at March 06, 2019 12:54 PM (9hauA)

Because it is bullshit. That is why they have weight classes in MMA, and separate the boys from the girls.
Size freaking matters. A 150 pound woman, no matter how highly trained, is going to struggle with one 230 pound man. Throw in 3-4 men and there isn't any hope at all.

Look, I can suspend disbelief with Black Widow because she does all that spin crap, but note she has a lot of weapons as well. And I've always thought they misused her in the Marvel movies - she's a freaking SPY - show her doing spy shit, and being REALLY good at it, not throwing down with five guys. She should be defeating security systems, going undercover, tricking and manipulating. Solving codes and puzzles. Let hulk, thor, and Iron man do the smashing.

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at March 06, 2019 02:35 PM (AJj50)

630 "Linda Hamilton. Part of it might have been watching her go from ditzy, blue collar Valley girl to tough partner and warrior against an implacable monster."

Exactly. AND she was NEVER perfect. Even in T2 she had PTSD, she was afraid, she had to overcome her fears, had to overcome distrust. She was locked up in a loony bin. She had huge set backs, and managed to triumph despite everything. Brilliant heroes journey, brilliant performance.

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at March 06, 2019 02:43 PM (AJj50)

631 What makes a hero? Sacrifice. What makes a shitty hero? One who has everything handed to them without giving anything up.

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at March 06, 2019 02:47 PM (AJj50)

632 Alita challenge?

https://tinyurl.com/y66a3qxu

At first it sounded like it had something to do with the Supreme Court.

Posted by: aelfheld at March 06, 2019 03:35 PM (IxDhF)

633 They want a monster who can terrorize men, turn them into squeaking little ball less gerbils. Well cast my mother in law.

I saw her make four marine gunnies squeak in terror when she threatened to take off her shirt. She has everything those Marines wanted, bulging muscles, a hairy chest and a mustache.

Posted by: I am not corey Booker at March 06, 2019 11:38 PM (nRj4F)

634 Ace was on point about Monica Rambeau. After going through my comic collection (quit laughing, i don't make fun of your hobbies!) I have a similar theory about Black Widow. She's lead the Avengers, too. At least once she's torn up the Avenger's UN charter (!) and proceed to kill super villains (!!) left and right. If there's 2 things SJWs like its one world governments and letting bad actors off with a slap on the wrist. After careful consideration I don't think I'll be seeing Capt. Marvel.

Posted by: hurricane567 at March 07, 2019 12:43 AM (QyvaP)

635 Every time you see someone cheering the movie, point out that Captain Marvel was originally a black woman, Monica Rambeau(the child in this movie), and that you don't like how they are taking parts from black actresses.

Posted by: MikeN at March 07, 2019 01:17 AM (o/eHL)

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Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat