Stock Market Gains Over 1000 Points In Biggest Single-Day Gain in History

Recovering a bit from some pre-Christmas losses.

Stocks posted their best day in nearly a decade on Wednesday, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average notching its largest one-day point gain in history. Rallies in retail and energy shares led the gains, as Wall Street recovered the steep losses suffered in the previous session.
The 30-stock Dow closed 1,086.25 points higher, or 4.98 percent, at 22,878.45. Wednesday's gain also marked the biggest upside move on a percentage basis since March 23, 2009, when it rose 5.8 percentage points.
The S&P 500 also catapulted 4.96 percent -- its best day since March 2009 -- to 2,467.70 as the consumer discretionary, energy and tech sectors all climbed more than 6 percent. The Nasdaq Composite also had its best day since March 23, 2009, surging 5.84 percent to 6,554.36.
Wednesday also marked the biggest post-Christmas rally for U.S. stocks ever.

Consumer confidence seems to be high as well. Shoppers spent the most on holiday shopping in six years, also known as Recovery Winter IV.

Retail sales in the U.S. from Nov. 1 through Christmas Eve were up 5.1 percent to more than $850 billion, according to Mastercard SpendingPulse.
That makes this the best holiday shopping season in six years, Mastercard said.
The surge in spending comes amid the latest fluctuations in the stock market, worries on Wall Street about a potentially slowing economy and a partial government shutdown.

Ah yes, the government shutdown. It's like the Trail of Tears with less smallpox. What a tragedy.

Shep Smith loves three things: Car chases, eye makeup, and stock market losses under Republican presidents. It's a shame he had the day off and wasn't forced to report on the huge GAINZZZZZ.

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 06:46 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 The Gainzz of Gainzz is upon us!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties at December 26, 2018 06:44 PM (xJa6I)

2 UP AND DOWN. Thus was it always....

Posted by: SteveOReno , I proudly self-identify as a Moron at December 26, 2018 06:45 PM (2sCft)

3

Live by the Dow. Die by the Dow.

And Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 26, 2018 06:45 PM (aKsyK)

4 Top ten? Oh, and nice post, Ace.

Posted by: The inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at December 26, 2018 06:45 PM (81fir)

5 Up and down and up and down and mmmmm....

What were we talking about again?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties at December 26, 2018 06:46 PM (xJa6I)

6 The rocket shot at the very end of the day bodes well for tomorrow.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 06:46 PM (ffYR/)

7 Yeah, wish I had a bunch of Amazon options today.

*sigh*

Posted by: naturalfake at December 26, 2018 06:47 PM (CRRq9)

8 I gave away a lot of money this year. Mostly to needy families, puppet shows, veterinarians and ammo vendors.

Especially ammo vendors.

I'll be living small for a few months but I won't need to buy range ammo for a year or so.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties at December 26, 2018 06:47 PM (xJa6I)

9 Shep Smith? Don't like that guy.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 06:47 PM (NLLmE)

10 Ah yes, the government shutdown. It's like the Trail of Tears with less smallpox. What a tragedy.

LOL' Well done, Ace!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 26, 2018 06:47 PM (AllCR)

11 That's so unfair, ace.

I also like cock.

Posted by: Sheppy at December 26, 2018 06:47 PM (icI8A)

12 Fuck the fed

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at December 26, 2018 06:47 PM (bQtop)

13 Shep! was out testing his new Taiwan Basket with his boyfriend.

Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 06:48 PM (Zz0t1)

14 On Christmas Eve one of our local news stations lead in with a story on the 600 pt+ drop and how it was all PDT's fault because he attacked the Fed. I immediately changed the station to TCM.

Posted by: Tuna at December 26, 2018 06:48 PM (jm1YL)

15 Damn, I was hoping for a regular GAINZZZ thread. But yay stock mkt.

Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 06:49 PM (786Ro)

16 Good News: Hundreds of day traders tried to commit suicide by jumping out of windows on the news.

Bad News: It's hard to kill yourself jumping out of your mom's basement window.

Posted by: Muldoon at December 26, 2018 06:49 PM (m45I2)

17 I am not bingling Taiwan Basket. Forget about it.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 06:49 PM (NLLmE)

18 So a good market day is yay Trump and a bad market day is boo Fed?

Markets are rational in the long term. In the short term markedly less so. What happens in the last couple of days before the end of the year can be moved a lot by tax implications, or what money managers want to show is in their end of year portfolio or any number of other things.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 06:49 PM (fuK7c)

19 My 401k may recover after all.

Posted by: ALH at December 26, 2018 06:49 PM (cS3Yq)

20 short covering rallies are fun

Posted by: Huck Follywood, a peaceful Christmas to all at December 26, 2018 06:49 PM (Z216Q)

21 Ah yes, the government shutdown. It's like the Trail of Tears with less smallpox. What a tragedy.

Funny you should mention that. The MFM is rolling out the sob stories. You can almost hear the weepy violins playing

Federal Employees Share Heartbreaking #ShutdownStories Over Holidays

Their experiences are, in turns, shocking, heartbreaking, and, in some cases, hopeful.

The hashtag contains many stories of government employees having to return holiday gifts in order to ensure that they have enough money to pay rent in January. Some tweets come from part-time employees working in the hopes of getting back pay later; one tweet, from a newly-hired government contractor, expresses anxiety over the status of a yet-unprocessed job contract.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 26, 2018 06:50 PM (SiINZ)

22 Doh!-Jones

Posted by: Muldoon at December 26, 2018 06:50 PM (m45I2)

23 Damn.. so I will jump in tomorrow and it will tank!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 26, 2018 06:50 PM (438dO)

24 I know my wife did her best to up the economy this Christmas......

Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 06:51 PM (Zz0t1)

25 Someone has probably compiled video of the FNM reporting on Barky's fake QE stock market gains with cheerleader type enthusiasm vs the gritted teeth "stock market is up" with DJT in office and their gleeful tone reporting on all stock market dips. If not, someone should and the link should be shared far and wide. Some people need to be shown what commie propagandists the FNM are.

Posted by: paleRider at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (eASYU)

26 If the government was really shut down, they wouldn't be taking money out of your paycheck.

Posted by: ALH at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (cS3Yq)

27 Damn.. so I will jump in tomorrow and it will tank!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 26, 2018 06:50 PM (438dO)

Hey!

That's my job!!!

Posted by: naturalfake at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (CRRq9)

28 Geeebus the market is some fucked up manipulated shit.

Im still going long on Japanese fembots though.

Posted by: Froderick Wonkensteen at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (IHRhq)

29 CNN will claim Obama stepped in and righted the market and Trump still kept it from gaining two thousand.

Posted by: Tentotwo at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (yhf6w)

30
On Christmas Eve one of our local news stations lead in with a story on the 600 pt+ drop and how it was all PDT's fault because he attacked the Fed. I immediately changed the station to TCM.
Posted by: Tuna

And up popped Ben Mankiewicz.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (aKsyK)

31 Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 26, 2018 06:50 PM (SiINZ)

Weren't they last paid on December 22nd, and yet they have to return holiday gifts?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (AllCR)

32 Turn those machines back on!!!!

Posted by: Muldoon at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (m45I2)

33 24 I know my wife did her best to up the economy this Christmas......
Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 06:51 PM (Zz0t1)

But everything was on sale! Think of how much money we saved!

Posted by: Mrs. Sponge at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (NWiLs)

34

It's my butterfly effect, 'Le Papillon de la Poof'

Posted by: Barky O'Bumfuck at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (vDDpQ)

35 Market went up because Trump left the country.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 26, 2018 06:53 PM (aKsyK)

36 "Stock Market Gains Over 1000 Points In Biggest Single-Day Gain in History"

In other news, Barack Obama's economy showed up for a day to relieve the nation of Trump's.

Posted by: This... Is CNN at December 26, 2018 06:53 PM (6eEQ+)

37 We need to convince Ace to restart the Gainaz threads.

It was good motivation and good info sharing.

Ace? Please?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties at December 26, 2018 06:53 PM (xJa6I)

38 Stock Market Gains Over 1000 Points In Biggest Single-Day Gain in History

Incoming NY AG to investigate* Trump and/or Trump associates for "manipulating the market" in 10, 9, 9, 7...

* or FEC
* or SDNY
* or FINCEN
* or whoever has jurisdiction - wait whut? "jurisdiction"? does that even matter any more?

Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 06:53 PM (786Ro)

39

My rabbi said, "if you like what we did with the weather, check out what we do with Dow Jones!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 26, 2018 06:53 PM (/9p9e)

40 10, 9, 9, 7 = 10, 9, 8, 7

forgot how to count

Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (786Ro)

41 But everything was on sale! Think of how much money we saved!
Posted by: Mrs. Sponge at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (NWiLs)

Honey? When did YOU start reading here?

Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (Zz0t1)

42 37 We need to convince Ace to restart the Gainaz threads.

It was good motivation and good info sharing.

Ace? Please?

...........

After the new year when I pinky swear I will start my diet........

Posted by: Molly k. at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (TLDbD)

43 40 10, 9, 9, 7 = 10, 9, 8, 7

forgot how to count
Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (786Ro)

It's the new Corpse Curriculum...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (/9p9e)

44 So sell first thing tomorrow, got it

Posted by: Skip at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (/rm4P)

45 I still think the market is overdue for a big correction.

I've been saying all along that Trump shouldn't brag about the market rising, because he'll certainly be blamed if it falls.

Posted by: rickl at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (sdi6R)

46 39

My rabbi said, "if you like what we did with the weather, check out what we do with Dow Jones!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 26, 2018 06:53 PM (/9p9e)

He give you a hot tip?

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (NWiLs)

47 Bunch of flighty bastards aren't they.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (aydHY)

48 Damn.. so I will jump in tomorrow and it will tank!
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 26, 2018 06:50 PM (438dO)

----------------

I don't have any money now, but back when I did, I never tried to time the market. The stat, back then, was that if you tried you would miss the 11 days of the year that provided the biggest gains.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (ffYR/)

49 We're morons. Counting is hard.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (NLLmE)

50 46 39

My rabbi said, "if you like what we did with the weather, check out what we do with Dow Jones!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 26, 2018 06:53 PM (/9p9e)

He give you a hot tip?
Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (NWiLs)

Let me call my mohel...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (/9p9e)

51 It's 's my butterfly effect, 'Le Papillon de la Poof'
Posted by: Barky O'Bumfuck

AKA "Le Papillon de la Boof"

Posted by: Bruce at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (8ikIW)

52 Another Obama boom.....count on it.

Posted by: BignJames at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (cxHbL)

53 Stock Market Gains Over 1000 Points In Biggest Single-Day Gain in History

You're welcome!

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (NAs56)

54 Market went up because Trump left the country.

One of my libs posted that unironically today.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (fuK7c)

55 47 Bunch of flighty bastards aren't they.
Posted by: Ben Had at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (aydHY)

Like a herd of preteens.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (NLLmE)

56 JJ you crack me up

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (bQtop)

57 How does that go again?

Buy high, sell low?

I always get that backwards

Posted by: Muldoon at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (m45I2)

58 On Christmas Eve one of our local news stations lead in with a story on the 600 pt+ drop and how it was all PDT's fault because he attacked the Fed. I immediately changed the station to TCM.

Posted by: Tuna at December 26, 2018 06:48 PM (jm1YL)

+++++
Since when did all these local newcasters become experts on the economy and finance and foreign affairs and national security. Stay in your lane and stick to the missing alzheimers patients and local interest stories, chumps.

Posted by: SteveOReno , I proudly self-identify as a Moron at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (2sCft)

59 That's all well and good...

but what kinda bastards name their kid "Dow"?

I mean, come on, man.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (Ct55T)

60 Dour Jews Index?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (aKsyK)

61 Buy low, starve a cold?

Posted by: Muldoon at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (m45I2)

62 You're welcome.

Posted by: President Barack H. Obama at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (aTFPA)

63

Joo Stock Market Machine is setting you up for the big fall, at my direction BWWHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Posted by: Barky O'Bumfuck at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (vDDpQ)

64 5 Up and down and up and down and mmmmm....

What were we talking about again?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties

dude. I hear you.

where's Insom

Posted by: buckaroo banzai at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (d7Ww2)

65 61 Buy low, starve a cold?
Posted by: Muldoon at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (m45I2)

Never put the rolling stone before the horse.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (NWiLs)

66 Good to see an up day. Especially 5% up.

Posted by: Uncle Si at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (Je5yd)

67 64 5 Up and down and up and down and mmmmm....

What were we talking about again?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties

dude. I hear you.

where's Insom
Posted by: buckaroo banzai at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (d7Ww2)

I thought you had him

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (xJa6I)

68 60 Dour Jews Index?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (aKsyK)

Redundant. Except in the Catskills.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (/9p9e)

69 I lost $90k over the last two weeks. Damned near ready to go hot on CWII just to self correct early.

Posted by: BifBewalski -sofa king we Todd did at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (8ZeGS)

70
Every cloud is another man's poison.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (CRRq9)

71 No left turn unstoned.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (aKsyK)

72 Personally, I prefer Recovery Winter VI. It had the hot blonde from Vice Academy 4.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (Uj7SU)

73 Buy low, starve a cold?
Posted by: Muldoon at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (m45I2)

NO! What YOU wanna do is FEED a cold!!!

Posted by: Deli guy from that cold medicine commercial at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (Zz0t1)

74 Ace: "Ah yes, the government shutdown."

One of these days, I guess I'll notice. That day hasn't happened yet, though. Maybe I will in 2072 when I'm dead.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (6eEQ+)

75 Weren't they last paid on December 22nd, and yet they have to return holiday gifts?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (AllCR)

Shhh... you're stepping on the narrative

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (SiINZ)

76 57 How does that go again?

Buy high, sell low?

..........

Whatever you do don't buy after a few too many adult beverages. Family had a few laughs at my expense while opening Christmas presents.

Posted by: Molly k. at December 26, 2018 06:58 PM (TLDbD)

77 ''And up popped Ben Mankiewicz.''

I mute him and pretend I'm listening to the late Robert Osborne. A true gentlemen. Never brought his personal views to the audience. I really miss his presence.

Posted by: Tuna at December 26, 2018 06:58 PM (jm1YL)

78 those poor government employees, living from my paycheck to my paycheck.

Posted by: x at December 26, 2018 06:58 PM (nFwvY)

79 Obama's Economy is a lot like Climate and Weather. When the weather doesn't fit the pattern they're trying to predict, it's just weather. When it does, it's Climate.

When the economy goes up, it's Obama's providence, when the economy goes down, it's Trump's bumbling.

Posted by: Axeman at December 26, 2018 06:58 PM (aTFPA)

80 How does that go again?

Buy high, sell low?

I always get that backwards

Posted by: Muldoon at December 26, 2018 06:55 PM (m45I2)

Elon Musk: Buy high, sell high...

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 26, 2018 06:59 PM (SiINZ)

81 77 ''And up popped Ben Mankiewicz.''

I mute him and pretend I'm listening to the late Robert Osborne. A true gentlemen. Never brought his personal views to the audience. I really miss his presence.
Posted by: Tuna at December 26, 2018 06:58 PM (jm1YL)

Ben's Manky wit...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 26, 2018 06:59 PM (/9p9e)

82 I have ordered an end to all this irrational exuberance!

Posted by: Hawaii Judge at December 26, 2018 06:59 PM (Ndje9)

83 ''Since when did all these local newcasters become experts on the economy and finance and foreign affairs and national security. Stay in your lane and stick to the missing alzheimers patients and local interest stories, chumps.''

I figure it makes a good audition tape for CNN.

Posted by: Tuna at December 26, 2018 06:59 PM (jm1YL)

84

I LOVE Ben Wanksalot! My favorite adult actor!

Posted by: Barky O'Bumfuck at December 26, 2018 07:00 PM (vDDpQ)

85 You're welcome!

Posted by: Tonto Goldstein at December 26, 2018 07:00 PM (QLvwG)

86 67 64 5 Up and down and up and down and mmmmm....

What were we talking about again?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties

dude. I hear you.

where's Insom
Posted by: buckaroo banzai at December 26, 2018 06:56 PM (d7Ww2)

I thought you had him
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Tribune of the Hotties at December 26, 2018 06:57 PM (xJa6I)

Recalibrating the oscillation overthruster.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2018 07:00 PM (NWiLs)

87 Buy high, sell low?
---
And kick em?

Posted by: Wiener Holder 2020 at December 26, 2018 07:00 PM (aTFPA)

88
*bring....bring*
*click*

"Hello. You have reached the desk of Paul Krugman. I'm not in right now, so please call back later."

Posted by: Much later.... at December 26, 2018 07:00 PM (xSo9G)

89 Returning Christmas presents? FFS. What a bunch of whiners. Yes, it's annoying having to pay bills without your paycheck, but that's why you save up an emergency fund, and also, it's not like you're the only one on that situation. Most people will make arrangements if they know you're good for it. Last time, my kid's daycare let me pay half tuition for the duration of the shutdown and make it up when it was over.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at December 26, 2018 07:01 PM (rWZ8Y)

90 What a sexy, nubile young market! Yum!

Posted by: Joss Whedon's broker at December 26, 2018 07:01 PM (Z216Q)

91 I saw Taiwan Basket open for Brownsville Station at Nippon Budokan in '78.

Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 07:01 PM (786Ro)

92 Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (ffYR/)

Ric Edelman, investment guru said that someone ran a multi-year historical study and compared three strategies
1) Invest 10K$ in the Dow on the first of the month every month
2) Invest 10K$ in the Dow once a month at the peak for that month
3) Invest 10K$ in the Dow once a month at the bottom for that month.
The net spread between approaches (over a 30-40 year span) was about one percent difference on the gain.

You gots to know when to hold 'em, and you gots to know when to fold em

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at December 26, 2018 07:01 PM (f3oO4)

93 I don't think it's *just* three things that Shep Smith loves....

Posted by: Dr. T at December 26, 2018 07:01 PM (Vgw1E)

94 Always drink yellow snow.

Posted by: Pee P. Dossier at December 26, 2018 07:01 PM (6eEQ+)

95 The only Free Market in this country is in buying and selling senators.

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at December 26, 2018 07:02 PM (Ndje9)

96 As much as the left hates President Trump, he just keeps on twisting their tails.

Posted by: Eromero at December 26, 2018 07:02 PM (zLDYs)

97 Last time, my kid's daycare let me pay half tuition for the duration of the shutdown and make it up when it was over.

Didn't they worry about the government shutting down completely?

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at December 26, 2018 07:02 PM (2lndx)

98 So there are some government employees sharing sob stories of no paycheck? In reality they'll get it all back. Those in the private sector have had little to no job security for over a decade and I don't recall any sob stories from the msm on that. Certainly not from 09 to 17.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (gC2IV)

99 I just love the way this new and tasty market shimmers as it dances for us.

Posted by: Joss Whedon's broker at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (Z216Q)

100 Always drink yellow snow.
Posted by: Pee P. Dossier at December 26, 2018 07:01 PM (6eEQ+)

I hear that's how Frank Zappa died.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (xPJvm)

101 100 Always drink yellow snow.
Posted by: Pee P. Dossier at December 26, 2018 07:01 PM (6eEQ+)

I hear that's how Frank Zappa died.
Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (xPJvm)

Pop Rocks and Coke.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (NWiLs)

102 The only Free Market in this country is in buying and selling senators.
Posted by: The Gipper Lives

I charge by the hour.

Posted by: Spartacus at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (Uj7SU)

103 Elon Musk: Buy high, sell high...

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 26, 2018 06:59 PM (SiINZ)

HODL!

Posted by: Satoshi Nakamoto at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (f3oO4)

104 ''As much as the left hates President Trump, he just keeps on twisting their tails. ''

I sometimes think that he is one of those very rare individuals that actually thrives on adversity.

Posted by: Tuna at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (jm1YL)

105 78 those poor government employees, living from my paycheck to my paycheck.
Posted by: x at December 26, 2018 06:58 PM (nFwvY)

I'm calling threadwinner.

Posted by: rickl at December 26, 2018 07:04 PM (sdi6R)

106 I took the downturn personally, my retirement fund suffers with each dip in share prices.

Powell needs to have his chain yanked really hard. If low interest rates were good enough for the entirety of Obama's two terms why are they no longer appropriate?

I could understand it if the idea is to control rampant inflation but that's not the case. The idea is to tank the economy and punish .Trump and his voters. Hillary's voters are well heeled and can ride out any financial storm.

Dems are truly the party of the rich and arrogant.

Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:04 PM (jLBUC)

107 Pop Rocks and Coke.
Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2018 07:03 PM (NWiLs)

Naw, that was Rodney Allen Rippey.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 26, 2018 07:04 PM (xPJvm)

108 Markets are rational in the long term. In the short term markedly less so. What happens in the last couple of days before the end of the year can be moved a lot by tax implications, or what money managers want to show is in their end of year portfolio or any number of other things.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 06:49 PM (fuK7c)

Money managers have all done year end reviews with their clients, asking do you still want to allocated 70/20/10, or whatever most people said yes. Then money manger would tell client since stocks are high we're at about 90 percent stocks, we'll work on decreasing that overtime. Next question they ask is if you want to take some capital losses to offset gains, because you have a lot of gains this year. Then they'll say they bought some stocks that we still think are good we can take a loss on, then buy them back in 31 plus days. Client says ok. Sell off starts, automatic stop losses kick in. And here we are

Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at December 26, 2018 07:04 PM (Rz2Nc)

109 Market went up because Trump left the country

So, like, when we impeach him we'll deport him too, and then we'll divide up the stocks market winnings money to The People not the Powerful.

Posted by: Alexandria OWS Cortez at December 26, 2018 07:05 PM (786Ro)

110 Dems are truly the party of the rich and arrogant.
Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:04 PM (jLBUC)

They seek to rule us.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2018 07:06 PM (NWiLs)

111 When the stock market goes down, the Left jumps for joy, because they dream of another 1929 Great Depression and subsequent trendiness of socialism and the election of overt socialist along the lines of FDR.

When the stock market goes up, the Right jumps for joy, because it means that the economy is healthy and in a healthy economy GOP presidents easily get re-elected.

Problem is, the stock market is continually swinging UP, then DOWN, then UP, then DOWN, and on alternating days each sides either has a Happy Day or a Too Depressed to Get Out of bed Day. Back and forth, back and forth.

My long view is: The stock market (and economic health) will ALWAYS swing like a pendulum, and the economic outlook will always waver between good and bad. But in the looooooong run, it's basically almost continuously "slightly trending slightly upward," because of humanity's endless quest for improvements. Even a huge depression will eventually be followed by a huge boom, even on a decades/centuries-long scale.

So instead of either being ecstatic or miserable about transient daily fluctuations, I stay stoic and maybe allow a slight snide smile.

Posted by: Julia Ioffe, backpedaling furiously at December 26, 2018 07:06 PM (c+2jX)

112 I could understand it if the idea is to control rampant inflation but that's not the case.

The problem is they're trying to run the Fed like bad investors: by trying to anticipate the upturns and downturns and acting accordingly ahead of time. That only works if you're God. (And I'm pretty sure He doesn't need a 401K.)

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at December 26, 2018 07:06 PM (2lndx)

113 So, like, when we impeach him we'll deport him too, and then we'll divide up the stocks market winnings money to The People not the Powerful.

Posted by: Alexandria OWS Cortez at December 26, 2018 07:05 PM (786Ro)

I'd like a word with you in private, my dear!

Posted by: Speaker Nazi Pelousi at December 26, 2018 07:07 PM (f3oO4)

114 They had to keep the president's trip a secret so John Brennan wouldn't alert Iranian anti-aircraft.

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at December 26, 2018 07:07 PM (Ndje9)

115 Off "'Julia Ioffe, backpedaling furiously" sock!

Posted by: zombie at December 26, 2018 07:07 PM (c+2jX)

116 Who doesn't want Frank Zappa for their father?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at December 26, 2018 07:07 PM (bQtop)

117 Imagine the gains if MasterCard let people buy guns.

Posted by: OCBill at December 26, 2018 07:07 PM (Iq7mn)

118 116 Who doesn't want Frank Zappa for their father?
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at December 26, 2018 07:07 PM (bQtop)

You fucking kidding me?

Posted by: Dweezil and Moon Unit at December 26, 2018 07:08 PM (NWiLs)

119 O interest rates during barky's reign were accompanied by 80billion a month Treasury infusions printed on air.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 26, 2018 07:08 PM (aydHY)

120 I predict 7.5% prime interest by 2020.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2018 07:08 PM (Evws/)

121 Consumer confidence was nonexistent during the Reign of Error. Something like this was impossible.

Posted by: freaked at December 26, 2018 07:08 PM (UdKB7)

122 Dems are truly the party of the rich and arrogant.
Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:04 PM (jLBUC)

They seek to rule us.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2018 07:06 PM (NWiLs)

We're only trying to give you what you deserve!

Posted by: Speaker Nazi Pelousi at December 26, 2018 07:08 PM (f3oO4)

123 Who doesn't want Frank Zappa for their father?
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at December 26, 2018 07:07 PM (bQtop)

*sad piano*
*crooning*

"Gotta be frank about Frank..."

Posted by: Mike and the 'Bots at December 26, 2018 07:09 PM (xPJvm)

124 Consult your Federal Reserve branch for a stock rally lasting more than 4 hours.

Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 07:09 PM (786Ro)

125 9 Shep Smith? Don't like that guy.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 06:47 PM (NLLmE)

Never even heard of him.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at December 26, 2018 07:10 PM (DTX3h)

126 GA Tech is getting its ass handed to it in the somethingorother Bowl.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 26, 2018 07:10 PM (gC2IV)

127 When the market goes Down, it leads to "Oooh oooh, look at all these bargains! Undervalued stocks! Snap them up quick!" And so the stock market goes up.

When the market goes Up, it leads to, "Oooh oooh, this is a great time cash in! Sell these overvalued stocks ASAP and retire on the profits!" And so the stock market goes up.

The only variable is: On what time scale? Minute by minute? Hour by hour? Day by day? or year by year?

Other than the time-scale issue, the cycle is unchanging.

Posted by: zombie at December 26, 2018 07:11 PM (c+2jX)

128 Fen - we get paid on Friday for work through Dec 22. This is a three paycheck month, which makes the complaining REALLY dumb.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at December 26, 2018 07:11 PM (rWZ8Y)

129 retire on the profits!" And so the stock market goes up
=
retire on the profits!" And so the stock market goes DOWN.

Posted by: zombie at December 26, 2018 07:11 PM (c+2jX)

130 Mainly because I could not carry off Moon what the F ever.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 26, 2018 07:11 PM (aydHY)

131 "But everything was on sale! Think of how much money we saved!
Posted by: Mrs. Sponge at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (NWiLs)

Honey? When did YOU start reading here?
Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 06:54 PM (Zz0t1)"

-----/-----

Sweetie, a good wife keeps an eye on her husband's extracurricular activities.

Posted by: Mrs. Sponge at December 26, 2018 07:11 PM (jLBUC)

132 They had to keep the president's trip a secret so John Brennan wouldn't alert Iranian anti-aircraft.

We rate this one as "Completely True"

Posted by: Huck Follywood, AoSHQ/Snopes Joint Venturer at December 26, 2018 07:12 PM (Z216Q)

133 126 GA Tech is getting its ass handed to it in the somethingorother Bowl.
Posted by: Duke Lowell

yes!

Posted by: Cumberland at December 26, 2018 07:12 PM (nFwvY)

134 ' Who doesn't want Frank Zappa for their father?'

He will always be my Mother.

Posted by: freaked at December 26, 2018 07:12 PM (UdKB7)

135 Market went up because Trump left the country

-
Didja see Cher's incoherent rant?

https://bit.ly/2CAYWgM

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at December 26, 2018 07:12 PM (+y/Ru)

136 134 ' Who doesn't want Frank Zappa for their father?'

He will always be my Mother.
Posted by: freaked at December 26, 2018 07:12 PM (UdKB7)

I have a brother?

Posted by: Invention at December 26, 2018 07:13 PM (NWiLs)

137 Shit Midas hardest hit.

Posted by: Regular joe at December 26, 2018 07:13 PM (7PllL)

138 This is just people trying to beat the Pelosi/Schumer Tax Increases.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at December 26, 2018 07:13 PM (oVJmc)

139 Powell needs to have his chain yanked really hard. If low interest rates were good enough for the entirety of Obama's two terms why are they no longer appropriate?

I could understand it if the idea is to control rampant inflation but that's not the case. The idea is to tank the economy and punish .Trump and his voters. Hillary's voters are well heeled and can ride out any financial storm.

Dems are truly the party of the rich and arrogant.
Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:04 PM (jLBUC)

In fairness, they're moving interest rates back toward where they should be, and historically have been. It was carrying water for the Magic Negro that was offensive. Without "quantitative easing" driving interest rates down to effectively zero, the economy would've gone into a deep recession, possibly a depression.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 26, 2018 07:14 PM (1GThF)

140 There is no magic wand! The economy will NEVER get above 2%.

Posted by: Baroqe Owebama at December 26, 2018 07:14 PM (Zz0t1)

141 ' Who doesn't want Frank Zappa for their father?'

1) "Dweezil"
2) "Moon Unit"

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at December 26, 2018 07:15 PM (oVJmc)

142 138 This is just people trying to beat the Pelosi/Schumer Tax Increases.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at December 26, 2018 07:13 PM (oVJmc)

------------

Nancy can pass whatever she wants in the house. It'll never get past the senate and even if it did, Trump would veto it.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 26, 2018 07:15 PM (gC2IV)

143 GA Tech is getting its ass handed to it in the somethingorother Bowl.

The #39 team is being upset by the #49 team. Think of the importance of the Bowl game!

Posted by: t-bird at December 26, 2018 07:15 PM (lK7fO)

144 GA Tech is getting its ass handed to it in the somethingorother Bowl.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 26, 2018 07:10 PM

That reminds me:

The 62 silliest college football bowl game names of all time

A list so amazing, the Poulan Weed Eater Independence Bowl isn't even No. 1 any more.

https://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2017/8/19/16171172/
bowl-games-sponsors-names-best-worst-funniest

( remove space from url )

Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 07:15 PM (786Ro)

145 OCBill: "Imagine the gains if MasterCard let people buy guns."

Cash economy for purchasing canoe accident products? I don't see this as a wholly negative development.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 26, 2018 07:16 PM (6eEQ+)

146 Heard Jim Antle, editor of The American Conservative magazine, on NPR this morning, responding to the question of how PDJTs base feels about the govt shutdown over The Wall. What a half-assed effort! The guy could have mentioned that Trump compromised last time on the promise of a wall, and then got nothing. He could have also mentioned that the base is pissed at the cucks like Ryan who did squat. But it was like yeah Trump will probably have to back down and/or lose because who gives a fuck what the base wants now that the Dems have the House. What a useless tool. Never heard of this rag of his and now I know why, and dont regret it. Pffft...

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at December 26, 2018 07:16 PM (4GT/L)

147
Just read two posts below about
Venezuela and their dying oil industry, selling it off to *furriners*
for a song, after nationalizing it under Chavez.

The smart thing to do now is
nationalize it again, screwing over the Russians, and keeping their
money. (lol)

Keep fucking that golden goose,
Venezuela.

You starving, socialist, dumbfucks.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at December 26, 2018 07:16 PM (8iiMU)

148 Hey everybody.

I am shocked that OC Weekly reported this. It has a reputation as a very pro-SJW publication, especially back when Gustavo Arellano (of "Ask A Mexican!" fame/infamy) was the editor.

"Orange County (CA) law enforcement arrested man for making lawful gun buy"

https://tinyurl.com/ybfmsuk3

Posted by: qdpsteve at December 26, 2018 07:17 PM (miE9U)

149 "They had to keep the president's trip a secret so John Brennan wouldn't alert Iranian anti-aircraft.
Posted by: The Gipper Lives at December 26, 2018 07:07 PM (Ndje9)"

-------------

Every good joke has a grain of truth in it.

Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:17 PM (jLBUC)

150 119 O interest rates during barky's reign were accompanied by 80billion a month Treasury infusions printed on air.
Posted by: Ben Had at December 26, 2018 07:08 PM (aydHY)

On your grandchildren's labor.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at December 26, 2018 07:17 PM (1g7ch)

151 'There is no magic wand! The economy will NEVER get above 2%.'

They found the magic wand. Solid gold, engraved with "MAGA".

Posted by: freaked at December 26, 2018 07:18 PM (UdKB7)

152

Three things:

- Cock
- Balls
- Anus
- Semen

OK, four things...

Posted by: Shemp Smith at December 26, 2018 07:18 PM (vDDpQ)

153 The smart thing to do now is
nationalize it again, screwing over the Russians, and keeping their
money. (lol)

Keep fucking that golden goose,
Venezuela.

You starving, socialist, dumbfucks.

I still can't quite figure out why Citgo still operates in the US. Seize it and sell off the assets.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:18 PM (8erNz)

154 So, who's in the Tidy Bowl this year? Everyone not in the National Championship game?

Ah, well, better living through 'memberberries.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 26, 2018 07:18 PM (6eEQ+)

155 The Fed has limited tools to influence the economy.

One is the "discount window", the price to banks of borrowing money from the Fed overnight. This is an indicator more than anything else. The Fed is the lender of last resort, banks are expected to borrow from each other first. If the Fed rate is 2.00% the banks lend to each other at 2.125% or something.

They need to do overnight borrowing to meet one of the Fed's other tools, the reserve ratio. That have to have a certain amount of "cash" on hand relative to their deposits. Tool No. 2 is Fed can change reserve ratios.

Tool No. 3 is open market activities, where the Fed either buys or sells Treasury obligations to influence the money supply.

It has three tools and two goals, to expand the economy and restrain inflation. They mostly can't do both at the same time.

Now, the discount window (Fed interest rate as it's often called) has relatively little direct impact. Almost nobody uses it. It is useful as a signal for what the Fed wishes to occur in the economy and what they're going to do with the important tool, Open Market Activities. So people read tea leaves in Fed rates.

If you hold interest rates at zero the Fed has lost half of one tool. Can't lower interest rates any more in case of disinflation, for instance.

What are real interest rates? The Treasury Bill or Note for whatever duration you're interested in. It's considered the risk free rate because the U.S. will always make good on it. It's basically the time value, or rent you pay on money, and all formulas including risk are built on top of the risk free rate.

I shall attempt to de-rant. I have seen more nonsense spouted about the Fed in the last few days than in most years.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:18 PM (fuK7c)

156 Who doesn't want Frank Zappa for their father?'
---
Anybody who doesn't like the thought of his father fucking his way through teenage groupies, while their mother raises them at home?

Posted by: Axeman at December 26, 2018 07:18 PM (aTFPA)

157 In fairness, they're moving interest rates back toward where they should be, and historically have been. It was carrying water for the Magic Negro that was offensive. Without "quantitative easing" driving interest rates down to effectively zero, the economy would've gone into a deep recession, possibly a depression.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 26, 2018 07:14 PM (1GThF)

------------

They are, because rates did need to come up. The thing about the zero interest Barky years was that 1. The bottom was never allowed to be reached, values reset and then start climbing and 2. It forced people into the Stock market because it was the only place to get a return of any kind.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 07:18 PM (ffYR/)

158 How does that go again?

Buy high, sell low?

-
Here in Colorado, it's buy so you can get high.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at December 26, 2018 07:19 PM (+y/Ru)

159 Ah yes, the government shutdown. It's like the Trail of Tears with less smallpox.

We'll fix that.

"Free blankets! Get yet free blankets here!"

Posted by: British military in the 1700s at December 26, 2018 07:19 PM (c+2jX)

160 Georgia tech, the rambling wreck. Did I get that right?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at December 26, 2018 07:20 PM (bQtop)

161 127 When the market goes Down, it leads to "Oooh oooh, look at all these bargains! Undervalued stocks! Snap them up quick!" And so the stock market goes up.

When the market goes Up, it leads to, "Oooh oooh, this is a great time cash in! Sell these overvalued stocks ASAP and retire on the profits!" And so the stock market goes up.

The only variable is: On what time scale? Minute by minute? Hour by hour? Day by day? or year by year?

Other than the time-scale issue, the cycle is unchanging.
Posted by: zombie at December 26, 2018 07:11 PM (c+2jX)

See also the exchange rate for the dollar.

"Ooh, the dollar is strong, that's going to hurt exporters!"

"Ooh, the dollar is weak, that's going to hurt American tourists!"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 26, 2018 07:20 PM (1GThF)

162 I'mma gonna SMACK somebody!!!

Posted by: Andrew Jackson at December 26, 2018 07:20 PM (miE9U)

163 Cher was dropped on her head at some point after Moonstruck.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:20 PM (NLLmE)

164 Cher was dropped on her head at some point after Moonstruck.
Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:20 PM (NLLmE)

The wrong part of that duo hit the tree......

Posted by: Baroqe Owebama at December 26, 2018 07:21 PM (Zz0t1)

165 "In fairness, they're moving interest rates back toward where they should be, and historically have been."

------------

.25% per year, not every quarter, and I would believe them.

Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:21 PM (jLBUC)

166 If it goes down a thousand tomorrow every expert will have to revise their expert opinion again.

Posted by: freaked at December 26, 2018 07:21 PM (UdKB7)

167 155 The Fed has limited tools to influence the economy.

This is true, but if you wanted to minimize these big swings eg 2000, 2008, now, you'd give everyone (that is, private taxpayers/small investors) a tax quarter instead of making everyone pay April for the end of the previous CY.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:22 PM (8erNz)

168 Moon Unit is semi cute.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:22 PM (NLLmE)

169 If it goes down a thousand tomorrow every expert will have to revise their expert opinion again.

-
They're past tense Nostradamuses (Nostradami?).

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at December 26, 2018 07:23 PM (+y/Ru)

170 Didn't Former President Cock Curious once ring the opening bell? Unprecedented!

Posted by: Fritz at December 26, 2018 07:24 PM (Z9C5C)

171 164 Cher was dropped on her head at some point after Moonstruck.
Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:20 PM (NLLmE)

The wrong part of that duo hit the tree......

...and then his widow got elected to Congress and sold the country's copyright laws to Disney.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:24 PM (8erNz)

172 I always had a certain fondness for moon unit

what?

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 26, 2018 07:24 PM (d7Ww2)

173 "Shep Smith loves three things: Car chases, eye makeup, and stock market losses under Republican presidents."

I would have figured penis, AIDS and eyeliner

Posted by: AJP at December 26, 2018 07:24 PM (8P2hc)

174 Damn sock.

Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 07:24 PM (Zz0t1)

175 Headline tomorrow:

The Dow remained even today as there were no stocks traded. It seems everybody finally has the stocks they want.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 26, 2018 07:24 PM (gC2IV)

176 Too long an boring a discussion for a nice day like this, but I think the Fed's ZIRP (insane interest rate policy) was an essential component of its overall extremely reckless policies following the 2008 "crisis". Most of which could have never happened, or as in the case of rate drops been limited to a very short period, resulting in an even quicker stabilization, and perhaps even avoidance of the stagnation of 2009 - 2016.*

The bail-outs, the "toxic asset" programs that barely acquired any toxic assets, the cram-downs of various kinds from auto companies to certain banks. Most of this, beyond select items and for a short period, were *negatives*, not stabilizing elements. Simplified, various markets were prevented from resetting more after 2008 than in any previous case - with the unsurprising result of a much more retarded recovery than in any previous case.

As is so often the case, people seem wildly optimistic about things they correctly oppose. The Fed didn't do things as a favor to Bambi, but as a way of keeping as whole as possible as many of the incumbent big players (which included lots of small fish, in groups) as it could. No reset. No major changes. Unwise moves to "soften" the blow, rather than facilitate market resets to accelerate a return to growth.

* Capital, and even consumers, were "on strike" during the reign of error for many reasons beyond the unwise Fed and fiscal policies - but the whole mess of misguided policy moved in the same negative direction

Posted by: rhomboid at December 26, 2018 07:24 PM (QDnY+)

177 Moon Unit is semi cute.
Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:22 PM (NLLmE)

But named incredibly stupid.

Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 07:25 PM (Zz0t1)

178 >>>If you hold interest rates at zero the Fed has lost half of one tool. Can't lower interest rates any more in case of disinflation, for instance.

true, but they could print a bunch of $3 bills with Obama's mug on them

Posted by: x at December 26, 2018 07:25 PM (nFwvY)

179 This is true, but if you wanted to minimize these big swings eg 2000, 2008, now, you'd give everyone (that is, private taxpayers/small investors) a tax quarter instead of making everyone pay April for the end of the previous CY.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:22 PM (8erNz)

-----------------

They will never do that because at the end of calendar year Q3 every even numbered year is one week before an election.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 07:25 PM (ffYR/)

180 155 The Fed has limited tools to influence the economy.

This is true, but if you wanted to minimize these big swings eg 2000, 2008, now, you'd give everyone (that is, private taxpayers/small investors) a tax quarter instead of making everyone pay April for the end of the previous CY.

By "the Fed" we're talking about the Federal Reserve Bank, which has nothing to do with taxes.

Also, my rant is not quite over. People are yelling about Mnuchin and how he should be sacked for undermining the Trump economy.

He doesn't make Fed policy. There are 12 (I think) regional Feds and one national. Each has a board of governors which meets to argue policy, then they yell at the national one about what they want.

The Chairman is like the chief referee, he's not a dictator.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:25 PM (fuK7c)

181 What was that song moon unit had back in the day?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at December 26, 2018 07:25 PM (bQtop)

182 Cher was dropped on her head at some point after Moonstruck.
Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:20 PM (NLLmE)

Her antigravity chamber malfunctioned one time while she was trying to put on one of her concert bondage costumes...

Posted by: qdpsteve at December 26, 2018 07:25 PM (miE9U)

183 So, since Trump was the Wurst Prez Evar! on Monday because of the stock "crash", does this mean he can now be declared Intergalactic Overlord For Life now, because of the Yuge Gain today?

That's how this works, right?

Posted by: Sharkman at December 26, 2018 07:26 PM (Mo1SD)

184 A thousand points is the new 10 points.

Remember that on the worst day of the stock market crash on October 28 1929, the Dow went down (gasp!!!) 38 points

38 whole points!!!!!!!!!!!!

These days, the market can flicker up and down 38 points in under a second.

So the sheer SCALE of the economy has magnified exponentially x1000, er, a whole bunch.

The flickerings are unimportant. What's important is that a 1,000 gain or loss is now almost minor. The US economy is a powerhouse that the average academic socialist can't even fathom.

Posted by: zombie at December 26, 2018 07:26 PM (c+2jX)

185 true, but they could print a bunch of $3 bills with Obama's mug on them

Or hundred trillion dollar bills, with Mugabe's mug on them.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:26 PM (8erNz)

186
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 26, 2018 07:27 PM (LsBY9)

187 The surge in spending comes amid the latest fluctuations in the stock market, worries on Wall Street about a potentially slowing economy and a partial government shutdown.

"amid" is journalism's go-to word for "correlation does so mean causation!"

Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 07:27 PM (786Ro)

188 I'm surprised they didn't hit the kill switch on the Dow because it was gaining too much and making Trump look good.

Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 07:27 PM (Zz0t1)

189 [iu]Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 26, 2018 07:27 PM (LsBY9)

You write for SNL or Jimmy Kimmel?

Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 07:28 PM (Zz0t1)

190 "It has three tools and two goals, to expand the economy and restrain inflation. They mostly can't do both at the same time."

------------

Exactly. At present the economy needs a bit of help, Trump deregulations and tax relief are a good start but the Fed needs to do its part and that is to not strangle it.

When the economy starts to overheat then we can look at what the Fed can do but until then I consider their intervention as harmful.

Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:28 PM (jLBUC)

191

The two douchebag twins, Schumer and Pelosi, told us the sky was falling.

Not true?

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 26, 2018 07:28 PM (8jjJt)

192
Sophisticated investors are long on Venezuelan oil stocks.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 26, 2018 07:29 PM (LsBY9)

193 Valley Girl

Posted by: Hands at December 26, 2018 07:29 PM (786Ro)

194 181 What was that song moon unit had back in the day?
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at December 26, 2018 07:25 PM (bQtop)

"Valley Girl". The ironic thing was that she and Frank were mocking airheads who talked like that, but then the song became a big hit and everybody started talking like that.

Posted by: rickl at December 26, 2018 07:29 PM (sdi6R)

195 For sure for sure.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:29 PM (NLLmE)

196 I have seen more nonsense spouted about the Fed in the last few days than in most years.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:18 PM (fuK7c)

=================

You've forgotten their two best tools, one being their trading book ("Don't bet against the Fed" is a time-tested mantra on trading desks), which is hugely powerful in the short term, and then their ability to create money in the form of reserves. During the Zoobama era the Fed created trillions of dollars, credited those reserves to member banks and required them to buy Treasury debt, thereby monetizing otherwise unsaleable Federal debts, or at least Federal debts that would have required interest rate increases to sell to investors.
The Fed may or may not be the cause of recent market turbulence, and I've heard smart people argue both ways, but they haven't helped.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, AoSHQ/Snopes Joint Venturer at December 26, 2018 07:30 PM (Z216Q)

197 The flickerings are unimportant. What's important is that a 1,000 gain or loss is now almost minor. The US economy is a powerhouse that the average academic socialist can't even fathom.

The flickerings are important, those with the properly wired connections can make billions off of them.

And in a more general sense...we're down about 20% since 11/1, which is significant. Not selling-the-kid-for-medical-experiments significant, not even postponing-the-bathroom-remodel significant, but enough to pay close attention to where things go from here.

I've seen enough of this crap over the past forty years not to worry TOO much about it, we were better off in an unrealized sense in December of 1999 than we are now, but we are better off now than we've been than most of the intervening decades.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:30 PM (8erNz)

198 I'm surprised they didn't hit the kill switch on the Dow because it was gaining too much and making Trump look good.

Who is "they" who can hit the kill switch?

The market is tens of millions of really smart really greedy bastards with supercomputers all over the world, each seeking personal gain at the expense of the other greedy bastards.

There is no "they".

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:30 PM (fuK7c)

199 177
Moon Unit is semi cute.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:22 PM (NLLmE)

But named incredibly stupid.

Posted by: Sponge at December 26, 2018 07:25 PM (Zz0t1)

Not as bad as Dweezil.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at December 26, 2018 07:31 PM (8iiMU)

200 Tinfoilbaby: "What was that song moon unit had back in the day?"

"Valley Girl"?

Yeah, my ears are still bleeding from that one if that's the one you're thinking about.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 26, 2018 07:31 PM (6eEQ+)

201 Exactly. At present the economy needs a bit of help, Trump deregulations and tax relief are a good start but the Fed needs to do its part and that is to not strangle it.

When the economy starts to overheat then we can look at what the Fed can do but until then I consider their intervention as harmful.
Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:28 PM (jLBUC)

--------------

Their job, done correctly, is to somewhat spoil the party without killing it. After an 8 year, zero rate environment, they went too far too fast the other way.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 07:31 PM (ffYR/)

202 The ironic thing was that she and Frank were mocking airheads who talked like that, but then the song became a big hit and everybody started talking like that.
Posted by: rickl

Like, for sure. Totally.

Posted by: Dr. Christine Ballsack Ford at December 26, 2018 07:31 PM (Uj7SU)

203 Maybe Joss Wheedumb could visit Taiwan and go missing like those Vietnamese tourists.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 26, 2018 07:32 PM (xoNmM)

204 Bander good summary of the actual mechanics of Fed intervention in financial markets. Though I think the Chairman typically has predominant sway, even if the others on the board of governors have some influence (this varies widely by individual and time period, some Fed bank governors build their influence to where they are quite important on big decisions, most of the time the building on Constitution Avenue in reality leads the parade).

Posted by: rhomboid at December 26, 2018 07:32 PM (QDnY+)

205 Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...
Orange Man Bad...

-
A hundred Orange Man Bads on the wall
A hundred Orange Man Bads
Take one down and pass it around
Ninety-nine Orange Man Bads on the wall

Posted by: BSNPC and the Goose Step Media at December 26, 2018 07:32 PM (+y/Ru)

206

Vietnamese tourists mistaken for cats on Taiwan and made into sweet and sour gook! Film at 11!

Posted by: Shemp Smith at December 26, 2018 07:33 PM (vDDpQ)

207 The market is tens of millions of really smart really greedy bastards with supercomputers all over the world, each seeking personal gain at the expense of the other greedy bastards.

There is no "they".

I have a very good friend who's a grunt software engineer for a firm that makes networking hardware whose primary claim to fame is that they're a few picoseconds faster than anyone else in their segment.

Their primary market is trading houses.

His options vested, and since then he's pretty much paid cash for the house, the cars, etc.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:33 PM (8erNz)

208 "then the song became a big hit'

The biggest single hit for FZ and it was so AWFUL but like the cheesy sci fi movies Frank loved, it was somehow good in its own awful way.

Posted by: freaked at December 26, 2018 07:33 PM (UdKB7)

209 Can anyone imagine a Prez Obama, a Hillary, a Biden, a Harris, a (spit) Booker, or any other of them going after our #1 economical trade enemy as does our dear PDT?

With them, it's all social.

Posted by: Les Kinetic at December 26, 2018 07:34 PM (4ZE6o)

210 Though I think the Chairman typically has predominant sway,

A fair point, rhomboid. I still give Paul Volcker personal credit for crushing inflation in the early 80s.

I'm mostly just pushing back against nonsense. There is always room for nuance.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:35 PM (fuK7c)

211 I'm dumping all my disposable funds into whale blubber futures next year.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 26, 2018 07:36 PM (UGqF8)

212 Who is "they" who can hit the kill switch?

The market is tens of millions of really smart really greedy bastards with supercomputers all over the world, each seeking personal gain at the expense of the other greedy bastards.

There is no "they".
Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:30 PM (fuK7c)

---------------

There at least used to be, and probably still is, a percentage based downside "circuit breaker", that suspends all trading for a period of time after it is tripped.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 07:36 PM (ffYR/)

213 "As is so often the case, people seem wildly optimistic about things they correctly oppose. The Fed didn't do things as a favor to Bambi, but as a way of keeping as whole as possible as many of the incumbent big players (which included lots of small fish, in groups) as it could. No reset. No major changes. Unwise moves to "soften" the blow, rather than facilitate market resets to accelerate a return to growth."

---------------

Under Obama the economy could not accelerate or return to growth. All other conditions were still in place, strangling regulations, high taxes and outsourcing continued unabated.

Nobody had any faith in the Dems to risk investing their money in production under those conditions.

Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:36 PM (jLBUC)

214 JEM: "I have a very good friend who's a grunt software engineer for a firm that makes networking hardware whose primary claim to fame is that they're a few picoseconds faster than anyone else in their segment..."

I remember some years ago about the length of the network cable/fiber to the "trading floors" was having an impact on the automated trading process. Someone had shortened their loop by design and were scooping the system.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 26, 2018 07:37 PM (6eEQ+)

215 I'm dumping all my disposable funds into whale blubber futures next year.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero)

Feed me, Seymour!

Posted by: Lena Dunham at December 26, 2018 07:37 PM (Uj7SU)

216 One word: Frozen concentrated orange juice contracts.

Posted by: Mortimer Duke at December 26, 2018 07:37 PM (UGqF8)

217 Valley Girl was a movie, too. Nicolas Cage's first as Nicolas Cage and not Nicolas Coppola.

Posted by: Jordan61 at December 26, 2018 07:37 PM (QBy2Q)

218 I'm dumping all my disposable funds into whale blubber futures next year.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 26, 2018 07:36 PM (UGqF

Michael Moore: What are you looking at me for?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 26, 2018 07:37 PM (SiINZ)

219 There at least used to be, and probably still is, a percentage based downside "circuit breaker", that suspends all trading for a period of time after it is tripped.

There is a circuit breaker for a plunging market. I was responding to someone who thought "they" would have killed the bull rally.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:38 PM (fuK7c)

220 eeerhm..

But, but, the Trail of Tears didn't involve smallpox blankets and the whole Bury My Wounded Newhart smallpox thing is frontier legend and anyway pre-Columbus and early explorers likely brought extreme disease epidemics first and and...

** sputter spitt sputtter **

** Quits making serious reply to silly snark. **

Posted by: mindful webworker - at the Trail of Tears Casino at December 26, 2018 07:38 PM (mP6Ur)

221 I was happy to see the market go up, but I'd be happier to see the Congress acting responsibly and working together with the President.

And, also world peace.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, partakes in a glass of whine at December 26, 2018 07:38 PM (Z216Q)

222 I'm dumping all my disposable funds into whale blubber futures next year.

-
I see California is banning fossil fuel vehicles so buggy whips is primed for a comeback.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at December 26, 2018 07:38 PM (+y/Ru)

223 I remember some years ago about the length of the network cable/fiber to the "trading floors" was having an impact on the automated trading process. Someone had shortened their loop by design and were scooping the system.

True enough. Costs money to get closer to the backbone.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:39 PM (8erNz)

224 There is a circuit breaker for a plunging market. I was responding to someone who thought "they" would have killed the bull rally.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:38 PM (fuK7c)

----------

Ah. Gotcha.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 07:39 PM (ffYR/)

225 222 I'm dumping all my disposable funds into whale blubber futures next year.

-
I see California is banning fossil fuel vehicles so buggy whips is primed for a comeback.

Keto Mobile.

Posted by: JEM at December 26, 2018 07:39 PM (8erNz)

226 Ben Franklin was weird. I've never liked him.

He had creepy pedo hair. One of the other Founders should have shivved him.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at December 26, 2018 07:39 PM (H5knJ)

227 I'm waiting breathlessly for the day Shep shows up in a dress ....

Posted by: Nan at December 26, 2018 07:39 PM (gC3e7)

228 Japan is withdrawing from the whaling treaty and starting commercial whaling again.

I like whale blubber futures.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:40 PM (fuK7c)

229 Porkbellies.

And plastics.

Posted by: eleven at December 26, 2018 07:40 PM (NLLmE)

230 Someone had shortened their loop by design and were scooping the system.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 26, 2018 07:37 PM (6eEQ+)

===============

Traders tried to co-locate in phone company switching buildings, so their trades could get out faster.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, partakes in a glass of whine at December 26, 2018 07:40 PM (Z216Q)

231 The market is tens of millions of really smart really greedy bastards with supercomputers all over the world, each seeking personal gain at the expense of the other greedy bastards.

There is no "they".
Posted by: Bandersnatch

I knew a guy who was an early-era computer maven, in the '80s and early '90s. He discovered how to do at-home day-trading around '92 or '93, before it caught on with the general public.

He was SOOOOO stoked, he thought he had found the magic keys to magic Money Mountain!

And then...as you have probably guessed by now...he somehow managed to lose all his money over then next year or two, even with the first dot-com boom making the market go up up up. Because he was a total amateur when it came to trading and picking stocks.

By the time the real Dot Com Boom hit in '95-/'96, he was already broke and couldn't ride the wave. Oh, how he wept.

Moral of the story: Don't day-trade.

Posted by: zombie at December 26, 2018 07:40 PM (c+2jX)

232 "The Illinois Enema Bandit" was a much better tune than "Valley Girl" but it just never got any airplay.

Posted by: freaked at December 26, 2018 07:40 PM (UdKB7)

233 There is a circuit breaker for a plunging market. I was responding to someone who thought "they" would have killed the bull rally.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:38 PM

Yeah, that whole "they" meme. I created that.

Posted by: Kevin Trudeau, Camp Montgomery at December 26, 2018 07:41 PM (786Ro)

234 Bon Soir horde. The dinner bell rang and my kids are leaving us tomorrow. Along with their cats, thank God.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, partakes in a glass of whine at December 26, 2018 07:41 PM (Z216Q)

235 One day in a year or so when the wall nears completion Jug Ears is going to say it was all doing...

Posted by: Garbone at December 26, 2018 07:42 PM (9dH/8)

236 Bandersnatch: "Japan is withdrawing from the whaling treaty and starting commercial whaling again.

I like whale blubber futures."

Go short on Trigglypuffs, though.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 26, 2018 07:42 PM (6eEQ+)

237 And, also world peace.
Posted by: Huck Follywood, partakes in a glass of whine at December 26, 2018 07:38 PM (Z216Q)

Damn. Can't beat World Peas.

Posted by: tbodie at December 26, 2018 07:42 PM (BBhgz)

238
Sure, explorers and settlers deliberately caused epidemics by releasing miasmas and unbalancing humors.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 26, 2018 07:42 PM (LsBY9)

239 With all the nonsense and general dumbfuckery going on in California, I'm wondering how long until Sacramento has its own yellow vest riots.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 26, 2018 07:43 PM (gC2IV)

240 "Can anyone imagine a Prez Obama, a Hillary, a Biden, a Harris, a (spit) Booker, or any other of them going after our #1 economical trade enemy as does our dear PDT?"

--//////////--

Why would they need to do so when both have the same aim?

Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:43 PM (jLBUC)

241 We should meet Nippon halfway and offer to give them hunting rights in California Wal-Marts if they stay in the whale treaty.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at December 26, 2018 07:44 PM (H5knJ)

242
You know, the DJIA and Nasdaq can plunge on the 31st.

So let's not get stupid and start celebrating. Things will stabilize after the holidays.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 26, 2018 07:44 PM (8jjJt)

243 Nood.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at December 26, 2018 07:45 PM (ffYR/)

244
Whales must be like buffalo -- too many now.

So let's start eating them. And polar bears should be eaten, too.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 26, 2018 07:45 PM (8jjJt)

245 Is Smithers Shep Smith or is it the other way around. And: E Pluribus Yoko.

Posted by: Burger Chef at December 26, 2018 07:45 PM (RuIsu)

246 Japan is withdrawing from the whaling treaty and starting commercial whaling again.

I like whale blubber futures.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 26, 2018 07:40 PM (fuK7c)

If a whale oil glut is what finally pushes us over the edge into actual neo-retro-futurism steampunk dystopia, I was ready yesterday. I'm going long on Nevr-Dull and Brasso.

Posted by: hogmartin at December 26, 2018 07:46 PM (t+qrx)

247 Can anyone imagine a Prez Obama, a Hillary, a Biden, a Harris, a (spit) Booker, or any other of them going after our #1 economical trade enemy as does our dear PDT?

With them, it's all social.
Posted by: Les Kinetic at December 26, 2018 07:34 PM

By social you mean olfactory, m'right?
*touches tip of nose*

Posted by: Joe Biden at December 26, 2018 07:46 PM (786Ro)

248 Huck Follywood: "Traders tried to co-locate in phone company switching buildings, so their trades could get out faster."

I have to admit, that was as damned clever as it was evil. I wish they could have been given an opportunity to wear a "Smartest Person in PMITA Federal Penitentiary".

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 26, 2018 07:47 PM (6eEQ+)

249 25 Someone has probably compiled video of the FNM reporting on Barky's fake QE stock market gains with cheerleader type enthusiasm vs the gritted teeth "stock market is up" with DJT in office and their gleeful tone reporting on all stock market dips. If not, someone should and the link should be shared far and wide. Some people need to be shown what commie propagandists the FNM are.

Posted by: paleRider at December 26, 2018 06:52 PM (eASYU)

Yeah that was great they couldn't even keep it straight. You'd hear the exuberant natterings about Obama's paltry economic gains and then not five minutes later you'd hear We All Know How Hard It Is In This Economy....

But I thought the economy was great? It was all a joke and they could barely keep it up.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 26, 2018 07:48 PM (4ErVI)

250 "I see California is banning fossil fuel vehicles so buggy whips is primed for a comeback.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at December 26, 2018 07:38 PM (+y/Ru)"

--------------

No, rickshaws are cheaper. Rickshaw pullers are crossing the southern border in their thousands per day.

Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:48 PM (jLBUC)

251 215 I'm dumping all my disposable funds into whale blubber futures next year.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero)

Ahh, another follower of the Clean Coal saga....

Posted by: Garbone at December 26, 2018 07:48 PM (9dH/8)

252 So California and Islam are having a race to get back to the 7th century

Posted by: Skip at December 26, 2018 07:50 PM (/rm4P)

253 "And polar bears should be eaten, too."

------------

Whatever you do don't eat the liver which apparently is poisonous to humans.

Posted by: Decaf at December 26, 2018 07:51 PM (jLBUC)

254 I have seen more nonsense spouted about the Fed in the last few days than in most years.

Yes, but when PDT yelled about them on Twitter an actual fucking Rothschild told him to stay away from the Fed. Talk about your conspiracy fodder.

Posted by: Ian S. at December 26, 2018 07:54 PM (53at6)

255 Inherent in computer trading is large magnitude market volatility. People need to get a grip and understand this.

Posted by: Locke Common at December 26, 2018 08:15 PM (iKg4t)

256 whirled peas :-)

Posted by: free tibet at December 26, 2018 08:16 PM (CL76w)

257 So....

Trump gets elected a f the stock market goes through the roof.

Dems take back the house and the market craters.

The government shuts down and the market skyrockets.

Can we deduce anything from this?

Posted by: Ponsonby Britt at December 26, 2018 08:55 PM (rlY8L)

258 257 Can we deduce anything from this?

Just do the opposite of whatever the fuck I say, and you will be fine. Except this, I mean, do this. Really. Who is Sherriff Joe?

Posted by: Paul Krugman at December 26, 2018 09:44 PM (4GT/L)

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