1 FIRST!!!!!

2 Who?

3 Some roasts aren't in good fun.

Just like some prostate exams.

4 Oh.....her.......

Has been. Can't find anyone more relevant to roast?

5 I've heard of this woman. That's about the extent of my knowledge.

6 These don't all seem in good fun.

======

I watched a couple of the roasts when Comedy Central started them again.

They always feel deeply mean spirited from everyone except Norm Macdonald.

7 And congrats to Sponge

8 Now the Dean Martin roasts were Quality. There was rivalry but they were mostly peers, friendly if not always friends.

9 The roasts from the 1970s were smarter, funnier, and wittier.

Put them side by side. Cultural degradation on display.

10 Apparently Zionism is a bad thing in Hollywood now?

11 6 These don't all seem in good fun.

Forced levity and comity occupies a firm place in the Uncanny Valley: it's deeply unsettling and you can't wait to get somewhere else.

12 Norm MacDonalds roast of Takei is epic cringe

13 Destroyed, as in a bare ass spanking?

14 10 Apparently Zionism is a bad thing in Hollywood now?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 11, 2026 03:45 PM (xcxpd)

"Free Palestine" (with the purchase of a Palestine of equal or greater value) is still the Hollywood cause celebre.

15 >>Just like some prostate exams.

Some?

I'm not judging. Yes I am.

16 14 10 Apparently Zionism is a bad thing in Hollywood now?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 11, 2026 03:45 PM (xcxpd)

"Free Palestine" (with the purchase of a Palestine of equal or greater value) is still the Hollywood cause celebre.
Posted by: XTC at May 11, 2026 03:46 PM (FpHTM)

BOGO PALESTINE!

17 Pete Davidson from the roast:

“Tony reminds me of Charlie Kirk, in that he’s definitely been on camera letting a guy unload in his throat,” Davidson quipped, drawing gasps from the crowd.

18 What is that slur that works for both Chinese and Koreans?

These jokes are just not funny. Hers aren't even jokes, but Gills' are too raw. I have trouble finding humor in abortion.

19 Hinchcliff is a Trump fan. Kill Tony gets tiresome, but he is brutal on these roasts.

The Kill Tony with Biden and Trump is quite good.

20 Shane Gillis and Chelsea Handler deserve each other.
Last thread they were talking about Roman punishments. One of the ones I like was tying a parricide in a bag with a snake, a rooster, and a cat (if memory serves), and dumped in the river. I always felt bad for that cat.
Gillis and Handler can be thrown in a bag with a big snake and maybe some black rats.

21 Never heard of either person, but that's increasingly the case with anything related to "entertainment". Sad!

22 Once you've seen Norm's roast of Bob Saget, there's nowhere to go but down. But to be fair Cloris Leachman killed that night too.

23
Pete Davidson is a shitbag.

24 The child is a demon, grotesque, even poisonous.

25 Now I wanna go watch old Norm MacDonald jokes...

26 BOGO PALESTINE!
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 11, 2026 03:47 PM (xcxpd)

There are already two. The UN insists we call them "Lebanon" and "Jordan".

27 Is this a palate cleanser or time killer thread?

28 22 But to be fair Cloris Leachman killed that night too.

Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 03:48 PM (/YotI)

======

One of the best parts of Malcolm in the Middle.

But not as good as Kenneth Mars as Otto, who had to have been Franz Liebkind after he went into hiding.

29 this was funny

probably would have been funnier if I knew who any of these people were other than my dude Shane

30 22 Once you've seen Norm's roast of Bob Saget, there's nowhere to go but down. But to be fair Cloris Leachman killed that night too.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 03:48 PM (/YotI)

And then there was Gilbert Gottfried's roast of Saget, which was... something else entirely.

31 Just saw this at The Volokh Conspiracy

Elected Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice David Wecht Switches from Democrat to Independent

From his statement:

"From 1998 to 2001, years that preceded my judicial career, I served as Vice-Chair of the Pennsylvania Democratic Party. In the quarter century that has passed since then, the Democratic Party has changed. Nazi tattoos, jihadist chants, intimidation and attacks at synagogues, and other hateful anti-Jewish invective and actions are minimized, ignored, and even coddled. Acquiescence to Jew-hatred is now disturbingly common among activists, leaders and even many elected officials in the Democratic Party."

32 Pete Davidson is a shitbag.

True, but he's recently spent a buttload of money to remove tattoos. If you don't know why that's relevant, I don't know what to tell you.

33 Was anyone called a hockey puck? If not, then not a real roast.

34 I dunno. I kind of grinned with one side of my mouth at one of the lines, so that kind of makes him the funniest man alive right now?

For fucks sake I guess I'm old, but holy shit please bring back Rodney and let someone defile his corpse on a stage in an empty theater. It would be funnier than all of current pedowood combined.

These people make Arsenio Hall look like the Godfather of Comedy.

35 At the roast of Shatner he rode out on a white horse. Sulu said "Bill I've been waiting a long time to say this. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on"

36 These roasts are really pretty mean. Nothing like the old ones back in the day with Dean Martin, et al. Pretty vulgar and not funny.

37 I'm sorry, but I don't like any of these people and all their humor is vulgar and tends toward shock instead of funny.

(The one on about Lizzo describing stairs as "one battle after another" was good, but when I see lizzo all I can think of is that disgusting image that was on every website for months last year. yuch.)

38
True, but he's recently spent a buttload of money to remove tattoos. If you don't know why that's relevant, I don't know what to tell you.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 11, 2026 03:51 PM (Riz8t)


Hiding his true self?

39 35 At the roast of Shatner he rode out on a white horse. Sulu said "Bill I've been waiting a long time to say this. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on"

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 11, 2026 03:52 PM (gu0hJ)

=====

Takei is a pathetic, whiny piece of shit.

40 Shane Gillis and Chelsea Handler deserve each other.
Last thread they were talking about Roman punishments. One of the ones I like was tying a parricide in a bag with a snake, a rooster, and a cat (if memory serves), and dumped in the river. I always felt bad for that cat.
Gillis and Handler can be thrown in a bag with a big snake and maybe some black rats.
Posted by: gKWVE at May 11, 2026 03:47 PM (sDWtc)

Not a cat - domestic cats might have been uncommon in ancient italy.

Wiki

Poena cullei under Roman law was a type of death penalty imposed on a subject who had been found guilty of parricide. The punishment consisted of being sewn up in a leather sack, with an assortment of live animals including a dog, snake, monkey, and a chicken or rooster, and then being thrown into water.

---------------------

I remember a fiction novel giving the exact religious meaning behind the list of animals. The sack was a reference to returning you to the mothers womb as such an unnatural a son and the water was to avoid you being accepted into mother earth.

41 I watched a couple of the roasts when Comedy Central started them again.

They always feel deeply mean spirited from everyone except Norm Macdonald.

----------------------

They are too cringe for me to watch. But I guess no one actually cares.

42 It's not really a roast if Foster Brooks isn't there.

43 Chelsea Handler during “The Roast of Kevin Heart” special: “Now that your favorite leader (to Tony Hinchcliffe) is making the draft mandatory, I assume all of you will be signing up to go fight in Iran. Or do you tough alpha males only go to the Middle East for comedy festivals?”

Chelsea Handler is a liberal Zionist, Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Can we please stop normalising her? She is hateful AF. Didn’t she have dinner at Jeffrey Epstein‘s house?

I’m not praising this Zionist even when she says something true or a little funny

Her introduction was way funnier than her set lol she never recovered that Zionist joke.

I am tired of rich people "roasting" each other with pre approved, manufactured jokes to produce cheap outrage and clicks. It normalizes these sociopaths by giving them a plattform where they can act like they are a good sport. We saw where this led when Jimmy Fallon had Trump on before the election

Aw poor tony cant take a joke. Fuck all these guys and their heavy handed involvement in progressing Fascism in the US

Tony isn't funny, he did NOT do the ridyah fest, so the joke was a little off

44 42 It's not really a roast if Foster Brooks isn't there.
Posted by: Mark1971 at May 11, 2026 03:53 PM (CNl8/)

Or if he's sober

45 Chelsea's been scrapped more times than a grill at Benihana's

not certain whether typo or whether benihana generates epic amounts of scrap

46 Garbage people slinging garbage at each other is almost amusing.

Almost.

Some of one liners were pretty good tho'.

47
Most of the celerys are stupid.

They say whatever their PR people tell them because good or bad it gets them in the news.

48 43 Chelsea Handler during “The Roast of Kevin Heart” special: “Now that your favorite leader (to Tony Hinchcliffe) is making the draft mandatory, I assume all of you will be signing up to go fight in Iran. Or do you tough alpha males only go to the Middle East for comedy festivals?”

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought b

========

This joke doesn't make sense.

49 Pete Davidson is a shitbag.

True, but he's recently spent a buttload of money to remove tattoos. If you don't know why that's relevant, I don't know what to tell you.

---------------

Why is that relevant? From a cultural standpoint?

50 Is this a palate cleanser or time killer thread?

Posted by: Ben Had at May 11, 2026 03:49 PM (z2aPa)

I had palate killer and time cleanser on my index cards after watching that.

I know I'm picky about comedy and I mean I guess it was ok if you just like cruel humor without any real intelligence. Which has its place don't get me wrong but it's not hard. The funny thing about stepping over lines is when you use it for observation. The line stepping itself gets rather samey.

51 49 Pete Davidson is a shitbag.

True, but he's recently spent a buttload of money to remove tattoos. If you don't know why that's relevant, I don't know what to tell you.

---------------

Why is that relevant? From a cultural standpoint?

Posted by: SH at May 11, 2026 03:55 PM (sX1BW)

====

All I know is that when he looked like an over-tatted and drugged out hobo, women were thirsty af for him.

Now that he stopped the drugs, got rid of his tats, and actually works out, the same women find him mid.

52 Poena cullei under Roman law was a type of death penalty imposed on a subject who had been found guilty of parricide.

i was not aware that the romans knew about parrots.

53 50 I know I'm picky about comedy and I mean I guess it was ok if you just like cruel humor without any real intelligence. Which has its place don't get me wrong but it's not hard. The funny thing about stepping over lines is when you use it for observation. The line stepping itself gets rather samey.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (/YotI)

Cruelty is the Horde's purview.

But we're not on TV.

54
Now that he stopped the drugs, got rid of his tits, and actually works out, the same women find him mid.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (tXqCv)


I guess he stopped sticking his cock in anything that would give him work too.

55 "I mean, her vagina smells so bad, it's like a big garbage dump."

There - I've just done "roast" comedy.

56 Now that he stopped the drugs, got rid of his tits, and actually works out, the same women find him mid.

---------------

He got rid of his tits too? Wow.

57 51 All I know is that when he looked like an over-tatted and drugged out hobo, women were thirsty af for him.

Now that he stopped the drugs, got rid of his tits, and actually works out, the same women find him mid.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (tXqCv)

Because it takes away the "But I can fix him!" impulse.

58 i was not aware that the romans knew about parrots.
Posted by: anachronda at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (pVQ1I)
----------
They knew enough to know you don't want to own a dead one.

59 Poena cullei under Roman law was a type of death penalty imposed on a subject who had been found guilty of parricide.

i was not aware that the romans knew about parrots.
Posted by: anachronda at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (pVQ1I)

the species name for parrots is in Latin.

60 Last vid is gone.

61 They knew enough to know you don't want to own a dead one.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at May 11, 2026 03:58 PM (xvhJH)


They're not much fun.

Just like dead puppies.

62 49 Pete Davidson is a shitbag.

True, but he's recently spent a buttload of money to remove tattoos. If you don't know why that's relevant, I don't know what to tell you.

---------------

Why is that relevant? From a cultural standpoint?

As I said, I don't know what to tell you, but perhaps you're on to something. Perhaps it's nothing more significant than that tats are now passe' and he's trying to remain cutting edge. Perhaps it's larger that that. IDK.

63 Last vid is gone.

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 11, 2026 03:59 PM (WQ5nn


I guess I was the last one to watch it........

64 I would definitely watch an all Moron version of Hollywood Squares.

65 Now that he stopped the drugs, got rid of his tits, and actually works out, the same women find him mid.

that seems a bit extreme

66 well if you missed that video you didn't miss much

67 Chelsea’s been pounded more than the grinder at Parris Island. Haha.

Seriously though, Chelsea, I wrote you a poem.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You’re a fucking whore
Die in a fire, skank.

Thanks, I’ll be here all night.

68 "Pedro Pascal is from Chile so I guess he only like to fuck the Chilean kids."

There. More "roast" comedy.

69 Tattoo scrapping don't sound like any fun.

70 55 "I mean, her vagina smells so bad, it's like a big garbage dump."

There - I've just done "roast" comedy.
Posted by: ...

I APPRECIATE YOUR SUBTLE AND NUANCED HUMOR.

71 LIZZO!

I saw a colouring book of her at the dollar store a few times! I have to see if it's still available.

Perhaps one day the art thread will accept user submissions.

72 What exactly is a (an evil) Zionist? The term is tossed around like "Nazi" these days but never defined. Does being anti-zionist mean that one believes all Jews should be booted from (sacred) Palestine? The Jews that refuse to leave should be forcibly removed and put in camps?

I suppose the best current definition of Zionist is someone to be looked down on. Anti-zionists are cool! AmIright?

73 Yah, she's gross and unfixable but so is the guy who called her a zionist. These celeb roasts are super weird. It's like they want to get out ahead of/drown out the legitimate public criticism by totally destroying each other first.

74 Uhm has Trump instituted a draft without me knowing? Oh they mean selective service which has been around for decades nevermind...

75 64 I would definitely watch an all Moron version of Hollywood Squares.
Posted by: Ben Had

I'm afraid I can only give answers in image form.

76
74 Uhm has Trump instituted a draft without me knowing? Oh they mean selective service which has been around for decades nevermind...

Posted by: steevy at May 11, 2026 04:02 PM (YwEeS)

=======

And all the males are signed up.

So...the joke doesn't make sense.

77 75 64 I would definitely watch an all Moron version of Hollywood Squares.
Posted by: Ben Had

I'm afraid I can only give answers in image form.

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at May 11, 2026 04:02 PM (JCZqz)

======

I don't get it.

78 So glad to be able to say l don't know any of these names.

79
And all the males are signed up.

So...the joke doesn't make sense.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 04:02 PM (tXqCv)


TDS comedy usually fails to hit.....Just like bullets fired at him.

80 I watch those roasts and I think 99% of the jokes are just mean and nasty. I dont think I would want to hang out with them.

81 LIZZO!

I saw a colouring book of her at the dollar store a few times! I have to see if it's still available.

Perhaps one day the art thread will accept user submissions.
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at May 11, 2026 04:01 PM (Sco7b)

Gonna be hard on the crayons.

82 Coincidence: the NY Post has an article about how Kevin Hart's media company Hartbeat has laid off 1/4 of its workers and is losing a ton of money. But he had a good time at the roast

83 Tony Hinchcliffe’s entire segment at the Roast of Kevin Hart.

He killed.

------------

[Video deleted; here's an alternative URL:]

https://is.gd/Qq5E36

84 For a second I red it as Chelsea Clinton. 🤣

85 72 What exactly is a (an evil) Zionist? The term is tossed around like "Nazi" these days but never defined. Does being anti-zionist mean that one believes all Jews should be booted from (sacred) Palestine? The Jews that refuse to leave should be forcibly removed and put in camps?

I suppose the best current definition of Zionist is someone to be looked down on. Anti-zionists are cool! AmIright?
Posted by: Martin Tell at May 11, 2026 04:01 PM (sFNX2)

These days, it basically means anyone who won't submit to Islam. A Filthy Kuffar.

86 >>>Content warning . . . .

Huh? What blog did I land on?

87 Hinchcliffe. Isn't that one of those towns in England or something?

88
"Free Palestine" (with the purchase of a Palestine of equal or greater value) is still the Hollywood cause celebre.
Posted by: XTC at May 11, 2026 03:46 PM (FpHTM)

____________

"Oh look! I got this tres chic keffiyah at Antoinette's. Only $3500!"

89 What exactly is a (an evil) Zionist?

Anyone who is Jewish, or doesn't support the eradication of Jews, from what I can tell when scanning Lefty discussion sites.

90 The old roasts, which I have not seen since I was a teen and would stay up late, were different.

I saw Scorsese talk about "Goodfellas" once and he said he was trying to capture the feeling of the Ratpack, and how they "owned the town" in Vegas. (He said Ocean's Eleven was an inspiration) (This was at an introduction to a film series at the Met complex in the 90s.)

Those roasts were like that -- they were a bunch of talent all having a blast. Yeah, some of it was contrived and most was scripted, but it was fun because you felt like you were let into their world. Or at least bits of their Vegas act. Same with the old Johnny Carson, where guests would "pop in" and talk about things and it felt like a gab session and not a sales pitch for their next "project."

All that is missing. I think these people all hate each other, and they sit on a stage, set apart, and give their "reactions" to get camera time. Such a decadent culture. This is not fun, it is programmed.

91 82 Coincidence: the NY Post has an article about how Kevin Hart's media company Hartbeat has laid off 1/4 of its workers and is losing a ton of money. But he had a good time at the roast

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 11, 2026 04:04 PM (gu0hJ)

======

Jordan Peale signed a huge first look deal with Universal like 5 years ago.

They've produced one film (Him, came out last year, did anyone notice? didn't think so), and Peale has written literally nothing (not even directed, just written) since Nope.

His production company is down to like 4 people and his contract with Universal is not going to be renewed.

92 Who gets to be Paul Lynde in the Moron version of Hollywood Squares? Garrett?

93 "This roast is so ghetto, I thought I heard a fire alarm chirp at one point."


Funny.....

94 It's not really a roast if Foster Brooks isn't there.
Posted by: Mark1971 at May 11, 2026 03:53 PM (CNl8/)

Or the one guy. H something. Did a lot of take my wife jokes.

This is going to bug me.

95 Why is that relevant? From a cultural standpoint?

Posted by: SH at May 11, 2026 03:55 PM (sX1BW)

====

All I know is that when he looked like an over-tatted and drugged out hobo, women were thirsty af for him.

Now that he stopped the drugs, got rid of his tats, and actually works out, the same women find him mid.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (tXqCv)
___________

He was the hot ticket for a while when he was with other hot, popular women. The easiest way to get a hot girl is to already have one. Remember the 80s movie Can't Buy Me Love? The dork's plan would 100% work.

96 Does being anti-zionist mean that one believes all Jews should be booted from (sacred) Palestine? The Jews that refuse to leave should be forcibly removed and put in camps?

-

Pretty much.

97 Chelsea handler has had more meat in her than a jersey Mike's sub. Skip the secret sauce.

98 "I mean, her vagina smells so bad, it's like a big garbage dump."
.......

If she could only keep her legs closed the seagulls might leave.

99 Looking forward to AI roasts.

100 It's only now that I can go back and comprehend that even when I was a child, CBS was carrying water for Islam and the PLO.

101 Henny Youngman

102 92 Who gets to be Paul Lynde in the Moron version of Hollywood Squares? Garrett?
Posted by: PabloD at May 11, 2026 04:05 PM
-----
The coveted center square!

103 The Brady roast was amazing. If you have not seen it check it out.

104
99 Looking forward to AI roasts.

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at May 11, 2026 04:06 PM (wBaIH)

======

"I told Gemini to draw me a picture of our president, and it drew a picture of a black alien from Mars. What a fucking retard."

"I told Grok to tell me what this video was, and he said it was your mom."

105 And yeah unfortunately the jew hate is not confined to the left. Take a look in any chat with young people like an Asmongold stream.

106 @94 Henny Youngman
My wife said for our anniversary take me somewhere I've never been. So I took her to the kitchen

107 Or the one guy. H something. Did a lot of take my wife jokes.

This is going to bug me.

Henny Youngman

108 98 "I mean, her vagina smells so bad, it's like a big garbage dump."
.......

If she could only keep her legs closed the seagulls might leave.
Posted by: wth at May 11, 2026 04:06 PM (UjdFS)


Word.

109 92 Who gets to be Paul Lynde in the Moron version of Hollywood Squares? Garrett?
Posted by: PabloD at May 11, 2026 04:05 PM (bA3Gd)

Miklos.

110 "Kevin Hart you're looking good. I heard you're on a low-carb diet. Of course you're on a low everything diet. Whatever you can reach."

Thats roast comedy with one second of thought applied. I'm not saying it's gold.

111 Henny Youngman
Posted by: steevy at May 11, 2026 04:07 PM (YwEeS)

Yes! Thank you. Those old ones were famn funny (more so if you know something of the people and time period.)

Good stuff. I did not like the 70s, Dean Martin ones as well.

112 Wait. Isn't this thread just begging for ace's "shit or garbage?" question?

113 They're not much fun.

Just like dead puppies.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 03:59 PM (Zz0t1)

I'm not so sure about that...

114 From the thread "Virginia Democrats Seethe," I present without comment...

Zombie's Law Of Political Conservation Of Craziness

>> 185 The reason that Democrats look crazier and crazier every day is because there are fewer and fewer of them every day.

>> There is a certain set amount of craziness in any political movement, but if it has huge number os adherents, the craziness get diluted to such a degree that you barely notice it. And the movement loses members, the amountt of craziness nonetheless remains constant, so the craziness gets concentrated in fewer and fewer people. Eventually there will just be a handful of Democrats, hut tey will all be like the Weather Underground or the Red Army Faction, glassy-eyed hyper-communist lunatics plotting terrorism and mass murder for reasons they themselves don't even understand anymore.
Posted by: zombie at May 11, 2026 01:54 PM (Av6i5)

>> 186 And the movement = As the movement
Posted by: zombie at May 11, 2026 01:55 PM (Av6i5)

115 The roasts of old were great because they all knew each other and were legitimate stars. Now a bunch of "who" are theys and people with little or no talent beyond looking good

116 >>>Tony Hinchcliffe’s entire segment at the Roast of Kevin Hart.

They took it down. The shorter clip is still up, though.

117 i was not aware that the romans knew about parrots.
Posted by: anachronda at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (pVQ1I)

Yes, they were quite familiar with them:

https://is.gd/Zg5Opl

118 109 92 Who gets to be Paul Lynde in the Moron version of Hollywood Squares? Garrett?
Posted by: PabloD at May 11, 2026 04:05 PM (bA3Gd)

Miklos.
Posted by: XTC at May 11, 2026 04:09 PM (FpHTM)

First question always goes to The Blade.

119
116 >>>Tony Hinchcliffe’s entire segment at the Roast of Kevin Hart.

They took it down. The shorter clip is still up, though.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (syz1S)

======

Who's they?

The government?!

120 Take my constitution, please.

>>@EricLDaugh

>>🚨 JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court

>>This is STATE CONSTITUTION, yet Democrats want to usurp their own laws!

>>It was never about democracy.

121 Help me find my keys and we'll drive out of here.

122 Poena cullei under Roman law was a type of death penalty imposed on a subject who had been found guilty of parricide.

i was not aware that the romans knew about parrots.
Posted by: anachronda at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (pVQ1I)

They migrate. Like coconuts.

123 105 And yeah unfortunately the jew hate is not confined to the left. Take a look in any chat with young people like an Asmongold stream.
Posted by: steevy at May 11, 2026 04:08 PM (YwEeS)

Or sites like KiwiFarms and Soyjak.Party

124 Henny Youngman: "Now here's a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous."

125 120 Take my constitution, please.

>>@EricLDaugh

>>🚨 JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court

>>This is STATE CONSTITUTION, yet Democrats want to usurp their own laws!

>>It was never about democracy.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (a+Mdu)

=======

It would be a shadow docket thing, but Jackson is going to write a 934 page dissent first.

126 A good news update

NPR (May 5th): Minneapolis grapples with the impact of Trump's largest immigration crackdown yet. Three months ago...agents arrested thousands of undocumented immigrants, in what the Border Patrol commander then in charge there, Gregory Bovino, called a "turn and burn" strategy. Agents also threatened journalists and activists documenting the arrests, and shot and killed two U.S. citizens

Today, Minneapolis looks different. The crackdown has receded, and arrests of immigrants have dropped 12%...But the surge left a mark that enforcement statistics can't capture, including a hollowed-out local economy that immigrants and their neighbors say they are struggling to rebuild.

"We were left traumatized," said Y, a woman who asked NPR to identify her by her middle initial because she worries speaking out will affect her ongoing immigration case.

Together, their stories map what the crackdown left behind: shuttered restaurants, households rationing groceries, mounting debt, mental health woes and, for some, a serious reckoning with whether to leave the United States to return to their home countries.

127 118 First question always goes to The Blade.
Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (7mCLy)

That's Sponge's privilege.

128
I know we have talked about Jew hate.

I still don't understand it.

It is very sad.

129 Looking forward to AI roasts.
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov
.......

Your Mother is so fat she is considering Ozempic.

130 89 "[Zionist is] Anyone who is Jewish, or doesn't support the eradication of Jews, from what I can tell when scanning Lefty discussion sites."

You may be correct, but I am really troubled by what seems to me like an instant and explosive growth in tossing the term around like it's nothing and all decent folks need to hate Zionists. I recently had two people that I thought were solid conservatives turn the hate up on Zionists. I was shocked. Maybe I am too old, but until very recently, Jew hatred (that's what it really is) just was not done in America. Maybe AI is encouraging hatred. I don't know. I have a bad feeling about this.

131 I don't know who Kevin Hart, Shane Gillis and Tony Hinchcliffe are ,and the only Pete Davison I've heard is Peter Davison who is quite a fine actor and was Tristan Farnon in the 1978 version of "All Creatures Great and Small and in "Dr. Who" He sounds like a much nicer person than Pete Davison. So I didn't watch the clips.

132 Uhm has Trump instituted a draft without me knowing? Oh they mean selective service which has been around for decades nevermind...

Posted by: steevy at May 11, 2026 04:02 PM (YwEeS)

=======

And all the males are signed up.

So...the joke doesn't make sense.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 04:02 PM (tXqCv)

Perhaps they are meaning in the UK?

133 126 Together, their stories map what the crackdown left behind: shuttered restaurants, households rationing groceries, mounting debt, mental health woes and, for some, a serious reckoning with whether to leave the United States to return to their home countries.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 04:12 PM (JCZqz)

=======

America is a racist hellhole run by oligarchal capitalist fascists who employ the police to murder brown bodies for sport while forcing corporations to pay women only 77 cents for every dollar a man makes.

Yes, they should flee.

They should flee to post-racial paradise France instead.

134 I would've loved to have been at a Borscht Belt resort back in the day. What great entertainment it had.

135 132
So...the joke doesn't make sense.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 04:02 PM (tXqCv)

Perhaps they are meaning in the UK?

Posted by: Oldcat at May 11, 2026 04:13 PM (8avO+)

=====

"Trump controls Keir Starmer" would be a take, but no, I don't think that's it.

136 Jack Benny, young Carson. Milton Berle. Red Buttons.

Seemed more genteel. Probably wasn't but they had wit.

137 117 i was not aware that the romans knew about parrots.
Posted by: anachronda at May 11, 2026 03:56 PM (pVQ1I)

Yes, they were quite familiar with them:

https://is.gd/Zg5Opl
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit
----------------------
Amazing. Question, answer, link -- "Everything the Romans and Greeks knew about parrots."

138 120 Take my constitution, please.

>>@EricLDaugh

>>🚨 JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court

>>This is STATE CONSTITUTION, yet Democrats want to usurp their own laws!

>>It was never about democracy.
Posted by: JackStraw at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (a+Mdu)

Aaaaaand Antifa will start the assassination threats against Kavanaugh any second now...

139

Bulg,

Me too.

140 I guess I was the last one to watch it........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 04:00 PM (Zz0t1)
*******
You’re always first and even last.
Sadly, I missed it.

141 So there is was Saturday night banging the crap out of Chelsea handler, and Richard Pryor walks in and says give me the hammer when your done.

142
What exactly is a (an evil) Zionist? The term is tossed around like "Nazi" these days but never defined. Does being anti-zionist mean that one believes all Jews should be booted from (sacred) Palestine? The Jews that refuse to leave should be forcibly removed and put in camps?

I suppose the best current definition of Zionist is someone to be looked down on. Anti-zionists are cool! AmIright?
Posted by: Martin Tell at May 11, 2026 04:01 PM (sFNX2)



Antisemites know that it's still not socially acceptable to expose their true "Kill all the Joos" sentiments. So they equivocate. "I don't want to kill ALL the Joos, just the apartheid Zionists". Much more appropriate in polite company.

143 ,and the only Pete Davison I've heard is Peter Davison who is quite a fine actor and was Tristan Farnon in the 1978 version of "All Creatures Great and Small and in "Dr. Who" ...

-----------

Great TV Series -- and even better novels (if you haven't read them) by "James Herriot" (pseudonym for James Alfred Wight -- the original author and veterinarian).

144 > And yeah unfortunately the jew hate is not confined to the left.

When Trump started smacking Iran around, I was shocked by all the people on the right who immediately started screeching how they wouldn't die in a war for Israel. There's apparently a significant part of the right who think any action we take in the middle east is completely by the direction of Israel.

145 >>JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court


That's not how any of this works.

146 It would be a shadow docket thing, but Jackson is going to write a 934 page dissent first.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

"Write". Sure. Do her interns do it, does she chat GPT is, or maybe some text-to-speech program?

147 Greek and Roman satires were very parroty.

148 146 It would be a shadow docket thing, but Jackson is going to write a 934 page dissent first.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

"Write". Sure. Do her interns do it, does she chat GPT is, or maybe some text-to-speech program?

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 04:17 PM (JCZqz)

=======

"I can't write more than 3,000 words at a time unless you pay for premium."
-ChatGPT

"Just keep going! Make it MORE like a rejected Huffington Post screed from 20 years ago!"

149 Together, their stories map what the crackdown left behind: shuttered restaurants, households rationing groceries, mounting debt, mental health woes and, for some, a serious reckoning with whether to leave the United States to return to their home countries.
Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 04:12 PM (JCZqz)
______

This idiot is really trying to threaten me with a good time, isn't he? All that's missing from that list of results of Trump's crackdown is free blowjobs from Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

150 "I mean, her vagina smells so bad, it's like a big garbage dump."

There - I've just done "roast" comedy.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 03:57 PM (/YotI)

Nah, that's not a "roast". That's just an observation. A roast has to be in the form of a joke...Something like.


"Chelsea's vag smells so bad, even skunks won't fuck her."

Boom. There. That how it's done.

151 Zionist = Jew

152 144 When Trump started smacking Iran around, I was shocked by all the people on the right who immediately started screeching how they wouldn't die in a war for Israel. There's apparently a significant part of the right who think any action we take in the middle east is completely by the direction of Israel.
Posted by: bonhomme at May 11, 2026 04:16 PM (mkw2N)

With a lot of those influencers (especially Fuentes), a large part of their audience are from Muslim countries.

153 wow, I remember when celebrity roasts were done in a spirit of fun ... those "people" seem to actually hate each other.
but, then, demonrats, amirite? it's all they know how to do, anymore.

154 145 >>JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court


yeah that's .. not gonna work guys

maybe it will keep Barry in foreign leader junta things tho

155 @134 used to drive in the Borscht Belt for court. It's sad. Most of the old hotels are are gone, either burned down or collapsed. The Concord was torn down and replaced with a new hotel and casino. Not doing that well. Of course it's just outside Monticello which is a dump. Sullivan county is NYC gone rural and really weird

156 JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court


That's not how any of this works.
Posted by: garrett


Would love to hear the "We decline to hear this case".

😂😂😂

157 >>@EricLDaugh

>>🚨 JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court

>>This is STATE CONSTITUTION, yet Democrats want to usurp their own laws!

>>It was never about democracy.
Posted by: JackStraw at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (a+Mdu)
--------------

Action Jackson will need a few months to write her solo dissent.

158 >>"We were left traumatized," said Y, a woman who asked NPR to identify her by her middle initial because she worries speaking out will affect her ongoing immigration case.


How do you parody this? Have news crew interview car thieves about the crackdown on people leaving keys in their car?

The worst part is that NPR listeners don't even understand why this is so absurd.

159 "Just keep going! Make it MORE like a rejected Huffington Post screed from 20 years ago!"
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

HuffPo? Pffft. She's in Mother Jones/Jacobin territory.

160 NPR —Minneapolis grapples with impact of ICE actions …


And?
This is what people voted for.
Hope and CHANGE, baby!

161 Who's they?
The government?!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (tXqCv)

It was a Twitter link, so Twitter.

162 When Trump started smacking Iran around, I was shocked by all the people on the right who immediately started screeching how they wouldn't die in a war for Israel. There's apparently a significant part of the right who think any action we take in the middle east is completely by the direction of Israel.
-----

I'd be careful in assuming most of that was from "people on the right". Many of those were the same ilk that wanted to mark Nic Fuentes and Cadence Ovens as "fellow righties" even though it was clear that neither were.

163 Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 04:16 PM (ePd8V)

Yes, I've read the novels and enjoyed them . I did not see the recent remake of AGG& S because I don't have a working TV. I heard it was very good, however.

164 Chelsea's vag smells so bad, even skunks won't fuck her."

Boom. There. That how it's done.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 11, 2026 04:18 PM (iJfKG)

Well that's what I was trying to say. I guess I don't get roasts. Maybe because the British do it by default and manage to be funny with it.

Like "your face looks like a cunt".

165 144" they wouldn't die in a war for Israel."

I don't want to die in a war period. Idea is to make other bastard die (paraphrasing Patton).

I've heard that about Israel lately as well, along with Trump being Israel's stooge by attacking Iran, etc. How do you think that makes those of us who may have family deployed in Epic Fury feel?

166 @134 used to drive in the Borscht Belt for court. It's sad. Most of the old hotels are are gone, either burned down or collapsed. The Concord was torn down and replaced with a new hotel and casino. Not doing that well. Of course it's just outside Monticello which is a dump. Sullivan county is NYC gone rural and really weird
Posted by: Smell the Glove

Too bad. I'm surprised that no historic status was bestowed on some of those sites to preserve them. I'm surprised New York Jews allowed their deterioration to take place.

167 "35 At the roast of Shatner he rode out on a white horse. Sulu said "Bill I've been waiting a long time to say this. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on" "

takei probably would if they stood still long enough

168 Jackson's dissent: you honkies, with all due respect, can suck my farts which is a legal term for "fuck you" .

169 Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 11, 2026 04:21 PM (2sfNr)

Fen, I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.

170 Once again, Dems are for federalism until they don’t get what they want.
SCOTUS is an unwelcome branch of government until they don’t get what they want.

Toddlers are more subtle than these people.

171 Democracy dies with Democrats.

172
I'm not impressed by that Shane douche. He keeps popping up on podcasts as some kind of amateur comedic expert in world history, but about half of what he spews out is provably wrong with a 30 second cruise through Wikipedia. Not just the politically debatable parts of Wiki, but down to basic facts that even the commie cocksuckers at Wiki doesn't try to fake.

173 Posted by: Lizzy at May 11, 2026 04:20 PM (4KUe5


i Mentioned that very early Sunday morning I was in a woodsy more rural area of NJ ( Yes, we have them) I passed a farm with a sign saying "ICE out of our neighborhoods " I thought it was odd for the person to assume that their views were ones of all their neighbors.

174 Note how libs claim all the "ists" are so bad. But then they're all proud social ist. Commun ist. Femin ist.

175 149 This idiot is really trying to threaten me with a good time, isn't he? All that's missing from that list of results of Trump's crackdown is free blowjobs from Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at May 11, 2026 04:18 PM (iFTx/)

=======

How does millions of illegal immigrants leaving America affect the housing market that every Democrat insists is in crisis because we have a shortage and that's the only reason New York isn't growing?

176 It's not really a roast if Foster Brooks isn't there.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 11, 2026 03:53 PM (CNl8/)

THIS!

177
159 "Just keep going! Make it MORE like a rejected Huffington Post screed from 20 years ago!"
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

HuffPo? Pffft. She's in Mother Jones/Jacobin territory.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 04:19 PM (JCZqz)

======

Fair.

178 Fen, did they also have one of those word salad signs that includes “all are welcome!”?

179
161 Who's they?
The government?!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (tXqCv)

It was a Twitter link, so Twitter.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 11, 2026 04:20 PM (syz1S)

======

It's a Seinfeld reference, so laugh!

180 Hank begging Artie to let him be the emcee for Larry Sanders' roast. Language warning:

https://tinyurl.com/2zbxjd7n

181 Dallas Morning News is so stupid.

TX school enrollment has declined by 76k.
Despite massive population growth.
Three main factors they list: "declining birth rates, shifting migration patterns and increased competition from private schools and home schooling."

Guess which one they focus their attack on as the key factor?
Yup. Charter schools.
Which they note, increased enrollment by 2.4%, while the schools lost 1.7%.

But, hilarious "shifting migration patterns."
You mean, deportations, right?

182 Jack Benny, young Carson. Milton Berle. Red Buttons.

Seemed more genteel. Probably wasn't but they had wit.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 11, 2026 04:14 PM (zZu0s)

---------------

Even as a young boy, Red Buttons used to make me cry with laughter during those (Las Vegas) Dean Martin Roasts:

Goliath’s mother, who said to Goliath, "Stop running around with David! You’re always coming home stoned!" Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner!

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

[King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!

183 181 But, hilarious "shifting migration patterns."
You mean, deportations, right?

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at May 11, 2026 04:26 PM (MtSIY)

======

I've heard that smaller class sizes are good for students.

184 i Mentioned that very early Sunday morning I was in a woodsy more rural area of NJ ( Yes, we have them) I passed a farm with a sign saying "ICE out of our neighborhoods " I thought it was odd for the person to assume that their views were ones of all their neighbors.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 11, 2026 04:24 PM (2sfNr)

Thats a leftist owned farm thats only there for the tax write off, and they're pissed about losing their farm slaves.

185 153 wow, I remember when celebrity roasts were done in a spirit of fun ... those "people" seem to actually hate each other.
but, then, demonrats, amirite? it's all they know how to do, anymore.
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 11, 2026 04:18 PM (VyBeY)
------

Yeah like everything else, celeb "roasts" have just turned into people being shitty to each other for clicks.
Tony Hinchcliffe is a REALLY funny insult comic when it's done in good fun but none of this was in good fun.

186
Anyone who has a sign supporting illegals should have a busload of them dropped at their house.

I bet they will change their tune.

187 Roast? No, I'll have the kale with a side order of chitlins.

188 Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 04:22 PM (77rzZ)

Thanks . just had a church service on Mother's Day I enjoyed it and I hope they did. FenSpouse was describing our Saturday celebration to someone at the church and he "We went out for a drink and potato peels." I told the woman he meant "potato skins" but she guessed that. Got lovely cards from spouse and son.

How was your MD and for Mrs. Bulg?

189 >>>I've heard of this woman. That's about the extent of my knowledge.

Chelsea Handler is like lupus: I've heard of it, and I have a vague notion that it's something bad and best avoided.

190 “Shifting migration patterns “

All they really care about is less funding due to declining enrollment, and few young minds and bodies to manipulate.

191
I guess he stopped sticking his cock in anything that would give him work too.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 03:57 PM (Zz0t1)

Well ya, he just became a father and is engaged. Now in a normal world those things happen in a different order, but it’s Hollywood. At least an attempt is being made.

192 The government?!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (tXqCv)

It was a Twitter link, so Twitter.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 11, 2026 04:20 PM (syz1S)

======
https://youtu.be/wIH69amxUI8
It's a Seinfeld reference, so laugh!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 04:26 PM
++++
The government?!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 04:11 PM (tXqCv)

It was a Twitter link, so Twitter.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 11, 2026 04:20 PM (syz1S)
======

It's a Seinfeld reference, so laugh!

++++

193 Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 11, 2026 04:27 PM (snZF9)

Quite likely. I do know some actual other farmers who don't have that kind of sign and seem to employ what I'm guessing are mostly Americans

194 I wonder if scumy Chelsea Handler slept with Epstein?

195 156 JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court


That's not how any of this works.
Posted by: garrett


Would love to hear the "We decline to hear this case".

😂😂😂
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 04:18 PM (S838b)


This is a real life Mortimer duke moment, yelling turn those machines back on.

196
194 I wonder if scumy Chelsea Handler slept with Epstein?

Posted by: redridinghood at May 11, 2026 04:31 PM (NpAcC)

======

Did he promise to degrade her and insist that she was nothing more than her sexual organs and that she wasn't good enough for his super human breeding program?

Then yes.

197 Well that's what I was trying to say. I guess I don't get roasts. Maybe because the British do it by default and manage to be funny with it.

Like "your face looks like a cunt".
-----

That's neither a "roast" nor funny.

198 194 I wonder if scumy Chelsea Handler slept with Epstein?
Posted by: redridinghood at May 11, 2026 04:31 PM

She only let him pee on her

199 Think it’s easier to imagine who Chelsea Handler hasn’t slept with within the celebrity set.

200 195 This is a real life Mortimer duke moment, yelling turn those machines back on.

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at May 11, 2026 04:31 PM (7mCLy)

=======

Oh, that's going to be an exact quote in the emails around Fulton and 2020 and the 300,000 mysterious ballots.

201
Thats a leftist owned farm thats only there for the tax write off, and they're pissed about losing their farm slaves.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 11, 2026 04:27 PM (snZF9)




Jon Bon Jovi's bee farm was shot through the heart by publicity about his tax write off.

202 How was your MD and for Mrs. Bulg?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

I had a tutoring gig on Sunday (scheduled it before I knew it was MD), so we had an early MD brunch on Friday at a restaurant called "First Watch" (highly recommended). Our son came over in the late afternoon yesterday and we all enjoyed takeout from Noodles & Company.

And I loaded my wife up on chocolate for her MD present. She's going through a bad patch at work right now, but chocolate always seems to cheer her up. So chocolate it was.

203 Quite likely. I do know some actual other farmers who don't have that kind of sign and seem to employ what I'm guessing are mostly Americans

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 11, 2026 04:30 PM (2sfNr)


A lot of family owned farms around me. No slave labor that I can see. I never saw any anti ICE signs around here.

204 Fen, how is your son doing? Does he like his job?

205 JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court
---
Red states need to push a republican form of governance for their blue cites:
The entire state gets to vote for the mayor of the city.
And maybe a majority of the city council.

Because it is not at all fair that these cities are little blue fiefdoms free from any management by the rest of the state who must suffer their misrule.

IF your taxes go to the city, you should have a voice in how it's run.
Even sales tax.

206 Does anybody know if birds/squirrels like pretzels? My wife got some Utz Pub Mix for our MD celebration, but it's overloaded with pretzel sticks, and neither I nor my wife like pretzels. So, I'm thinking of putting some sticks out for the critters.

207 Would love to hear the "We decline to hear this case".

😂😂😂
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 04:18 PM (S838b)
-------

Just a recording of Thomas and Alito ripping a fart into a microphone in two-part harmony.

208 Does anybody know if birds/squirrels like pretzels? My wife got some Utz Pub Mix for our MD celebration, but it's overloaded with pretzel sticks, and neither I nor my wife like pretzels. So, I'm thinking of putting some sticks out for the critters.
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 04:38 PM (77rzZ)

The skunks like them, especially if you put out peanut butter as well, but the raccoons will come knocking on your patio door to ask for beer to go with them.

209 206 Does anybody know if birds/squirrels like pretzels? My wife got some Utz Pub Mix for our MD celebration, but it's overloaded with pretzel sticks, and neither I nor my wife like pretzels. So, I'm thinking of putting some sticks out for the critters.
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 04:38 PM (77rzZ)
-----

It's just crunchy bread so yeah solid chance the birds will carry it all away post haste.

210 Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 04:34 PM (77rzZ

He's not disliking it. He sometimes has very long days with a large amount of driving , but he's working hard , getting out of the house and making money so is glad about that. Thanks for asking.

211 JUST IN: Democrats have just appealed to the US SUPREME COURT in a last-minute bid to REINSTATE Virginia's 10D-1R gerrymander, which was struck down by the State Supreme Court


That's not how any of this works.
Posted by: garrett


Would love to hear the "We decline to hear this case".

😂😂😂
Posted by: rickb223

=============

With Jumanji Jackson's dissent.

212 Rowan and Martin, Foster Brooks, Jonathon Winters, Don Rickles. THEY were funny. Not this current bunch of clowns.

213 He's not disliking it. He sometimes has very long days with a large amount of driving, but he's working hard, getting out of the house and making money so is glad about that. Thanks for asking.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

Good to hear, Fen.

214 Rowan and Martin, Foster Brooks, Jonathon Winters, Don Rickles. THEY were funny. Not this current bunch of clowns.
Posted by: turambar

I find it weird that Don Rickles' best friend was Bob Newhart. Both very funny, but very funny, but both very different in style.

215 Unas yest' NOOD.

216 Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 04:33

Im glad that you had a nice dinner but im sorry that your wife is having a bad patch at work and good chocolate is usually much appreciated.

217 That's neither a "roast" nor funny.

Posted by: Crusader at May 11, 2026 04:32 PM (TN0g+)

This is where you and I differ.

218 Wow she's not funny. Who knew ?

219 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig-w2L6vw08

A real roast

220 My Father in Law is an odd guy. He's smart, but he's reflexively contrarian, extremely independent, and easily enticed by unconventional ideas.

I was chatting with him yesterday and he told me he's been on a liver cleanse. I'm already extremely suspicious of cleanses, but I'm holding my tongue. He says phase I just ended, and now he's on to phase II. Phase II involves ingesting Turpentine.

Alright, tongue holding time over. I look at him quizically and ask him, "Turpentine?" "Yes," he says. I immediately get on google and am looking for Turpentine toxicity concentration and other similar information. He assures me he's going to only take half a tablespoon per day and it's "pure" Turpentine, distilled from pine resin.

I tell him a fatal dose is somewhere around 8 to 12 tablespoons. I see it's a gastrointestinal irritant, a CNS depressant, and can cause pneumonitis if aspirated.

I tell him this. He tells me he trusts Dr Andrew Kaufmann. I ask him if he's sure he's not being pranked. Andy Kaufmann? Really? Like the comedian? He says no. I look this guy up. Apparently he's a real MD, but I'm skeptical. He tells me he'll text me later today, or maybe not.

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Posted by: You wanted Batman, you'd settle for . . . you'll get at May 11, 2026 02:54 PM (anL5R)

Posted by: runner at May 11, 2026 02:55 PM (GD0B3)

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 02:55 PM (tXqCv)

Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 02:55 PM (/YotI)

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Posted by: bob (moron inbobnitus) at May 11, 2026 02:56 PM (WnFiD)

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at May 11, 2026 02:56 PM (OUMaO)

Posted by: runner at May 11, 2026 02:56 PM (GD0B3)

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2026 02:56 PM (HdYcL)

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Posted by: You wanted Batman, you'd settle for . . . you'll get at May 11, 2026 02:57 PM (anL5R)

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 02:57 PM (tXqCv)

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Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at May 11, 2026 02:58 PM (OUMaO)

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Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 02:58 PM (tXqCv)

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Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 02:59 PM (52qkP)

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Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:02 PM (tXqCv)

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Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 03:15 PM (Zz0t1)

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 03:16 PM (JCZqz)

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Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:16 PM (tXqCv)

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Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:18 PM (tXqCv)

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Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:29 PM (tXqCv)

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Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:30 PM (tXqCv)

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Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 11, 2026 03:31 PM (w6EFb)

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Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 11, 2026 03:32 PM (tXqCv)

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Virginia Democrats Seethe and Scheme to Mass-Fire All Seven Supreme Court Justices to Replace Them With Compliant Communist Operatives, but Senate Leader Says It's No-Go

Jonathan Turley
@JonathanTurley

May 10

The gut-and-pack scheme is brutally cynical. The Virginia Supreme Court described the earlier gambit as "a story of the tail wagging the dog that has no tail." Now, Democrats would just shoot the dog and adopt a politically modified dog bred to serve.

They're all about Saving Democracy. Didn't you know that, racists?

RedState reported Sunday on the sheer desperation that has set in among Democrats at the state and congressional levels after the Virginia Supreme Court ruled on Friday that the process state Democrats used to put their gerrymander referendum on the ballot was a violation of Virginia's Constitution.

...

Perhaps the most extreme of the measures that, per The New York Times, were being considered during a meeting Saturday that included House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (NY-0, was to have "Democrats in Richmond lower the mandatory retirement age for state Supreme Court justices... from 75 to 54," a plan that, if seen through, would force out every justice currently sitting on the state Supreme Court. Afterwards, they conceivably would use their power to "then fill vacancies on the court with sympathetic Democratic lawyers."

Let us violate the clear wording of our state constitution or else we will take the also-unconstitutional step of declaring 54-year-olds to be too elderly to work.

Unfortunately for Democrats, the brakes have been slammed on the various plots they were cooking up by none other than Virginia State Senate Majority Leader Scott Surovell (D-Fairfax), according to reporting from the Virginia Scope's Brandon Jarvis:

It is not happening

Surovell, the top Democrat in the state Senate, told Virginia Scope Monday morning that these drastic measures will not be taken.

Surovell said that the time restrictions at the Department of Elections make the notion impractical.

He also said forcing the retirement of Supreme Court justices would be extreme, and he wants to work within the existing legal system when fighting against Republicans.

Speaker of the House Don Scott, D-Portsmouth, has not responded to a request for comment.

The timing issue is that all changes to congressional voting must be finalized by May 12 -- tomorrow. So they would have to implement this unconstitutional mass-firing, stock the court with seven compliant communists, reconsider the previous ruling, and issue a new communist ruling in 24 hours.

Even attempting to fire the judges by this method seems to violate the constitution:

Ed Whelan
@EdWhelanEPPC

The Virginia constitution provides one means for removing judges: impeachment by the House of Delegates, followed by conviction by 2/3 of the Senate. The idea that the Virginia legislature could remove state supreme court justices by lowering the mandatory retirement age and applying that lower retirement age to *existing* justices is bonkers. And a majority (perhaps all) of the Virginia supreme court justices would rule that such a measure violates the state constitution.

In a court filing on April 23, Virginia Commissioner of Elections Steven Koski wrote that any changes to the district maps would have to happen before May 12, which is this Tuesday, in order for the Dept. of Elections to be able to have time to prepare for midterms. pic.twitter.com/oGKhFyofgq

— Brandon Jarvis (@Jaaavis) May 10, 2026

Eric Daugherty
@EricLDaugh

3h

🚨 JUST IN: Legal expert Jonathan Turley GOES OFF on Democrats for considering *firing* the entire Virginia Supreme Court to reinstate the 10D-1R gerrymander map

"They will pack SCOTUS AS WELL if they take power!"

"Hakeem Jeffries is very unpopular...but hopes to be the next Speaker. But to do that, he's got to engineer a MAJORITY."

"He's watching that evaporate across the country!"

"It captures the fact that now many on the left are saying that we will win by any means necessary."

"The public needs to understand that many of these same voices have been saying publicly that they will pack the Supreme Court as well. As soon as they take power, many Democratic pundits and politicians have said that they want to pack the Supreme Court to create an instant liberal majority."

"It's the same mindset of by any means necessary. No institution, no value is truly sacred."

🚨 JUST IN: Legal expert Jonathan Turley GOES OFF on Democrats for considering *firing* the entire Virginia Supreme Court to reinstate the 10D-1R gerrymander map

"They will pack SCOTUS AS WELL if they take power!"

"Hakeem Jeffries is very unpopular...but hopes to be the next… pic.twitter.com/XsmAp6Ld58

— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) May 11, 2026

Oh, and the Smartest Kids in the Class (TM) continue being unable to read a straitforwardly-written opinion:

Such radical proposals are being rationalized with open disinformation. Pundits regularly fail to mention that the Democrats previously gerrymandered states such as Illinois, Massachusetts and New York while claiming the right to win by any means necessary.

Others just deny reality. Sen. Tim Kaine, D-Va., lashed out at the Virginia Supreme Court and demanded to know why they waited so long to rule on whether there were fundamental flaws in the Democratic plan.

Kaine either never read the opinion or sought to mislead voters. The opinion has an entire section on the timing, noting that it was the Democrats and the commonwealth that demanded that the court wait to rule on the merits until after the election. After "successfully" seeking that delay, they are now accusing the court of something untoward in doing what they demanded.