White Democrat Legislator: I Don't Have to Worry About Diversity, Because I'm a Member of the African American Community

Me too. I was one of the very, very few people to pay to see Mario Van Peebles, Jr.'s Posse, a mostly-black-cast western, in the theater, and I think that makes me a member of the African American community as well.

But you know who I didn't see in the theater? This honky.

A white North Carolina Democratic candidate brushed aside questions earlier this week about ensuring diversity in his state by saying he is a member of the black community.
House of Representatives candidate Gary Shipman said he doesn't need to worry about diversity because he has already experience it as a member of the African-American community, reported The News & Observer Wednesday.
"I'm a member of the African-American community," Shipman said. "I've been where you are. I've been in your communities."

I've got The Theme from Shaft on my workout playlist. I'm black too.

...

When one female candidate offered to go to African American events in the community, Shipman said he didn't need an invitation because black people already view him as one of them.
Shipman later tried to explain his comments after an inquiry from the News & Observer, saying he doesn’t really believe he is black but that he was just trying to illustrate how embedded he is in the community.
"I've eaten at many a fish fry held by my 'brothers' and 'sisters,' 'aunts' and 'uncles' in that community; I've celebrated birthdays, births, marriages, graduations, Christmas, Thanksgiving, July 4, etc., with many members of the African-American community," Shipman wrote in an email to The News & Observer.

Even though I'm low-carb, I occasionally eat a Popeye's chicken breast (I think it's like 20 carbs). I'm black -- I mean, I'm a Person of Color, too.

By the way: How sick of you are with the leftist trope of just naming a series of nouns when you want to show how diverse or inclusive you are? "I see an America of African Americans, Latinos, gays, lesbians, trangenders. I see an America of schoolteachers, shop owners, soldiers, firemen, astronauts and farmers."

Democrats really just love listing nouns in sequence. It shows how committed they are to commas.

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 06:29 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 I saw Living Colour over 50 times, so...

Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:22 PM (Kl4ww)

2
Somehow I don't think this will fly with the Bros.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at April 13, 2018 06:22 PM (pwFp+)

3 mmmm Popeyes

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM (hMwEB)

4 I'm a person of color too.

White is a color.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM (xJa6I)

5 Did he say he liked watermelon too?

Posted by: f'd at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM (UdKB7)

6 >>White is a color.

It's ALL the colors.

Black is the absence of color.

Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM (Kl4ww)

7 Ahhh the diversity cult of easy virtue, you can just tell everyone you're good without having to actually go to all of that effort to do good.

Posted by: Drew in MO at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM (cGlgB)

8 I identify as a Wombat.

Posted by: steevy at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM (LiyEm)

9 Spartacus was African-American.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:24 PM (wPiJc)

10
Hillary Clinton was a member of the Afro American community -- her membership was earned by simply carrying a bottle of Hot Sauce in her pocketbook.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at April 13, 2018 06:24 PM (pwFp+)

11 Hell I like watermelon and I don't claim to be colored.

Posted by: f'd at April 13, 2018 06:24 PM (UdKB7)

12 >>White is a color.

It's ALL the colors.

Black is the absence of color.

That's in light.

In pigment black is all the colors and white is the absence of color.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 13, 2018 06:24 PM (fuK7c)

13 I'm blacker than Shiftman and I can prove it.

Posted by: Eromero at April 13, 2018 06:24 PM (zLDYs)

14 i steered clear of posse.

Posted by: concrete girl at April 13, 2018 06:25 PM (h9wAA)

15 How 'bout we try an "America full of.....wait for it......AMERICANS!"

Just to piss off the Democrats, if nothing else. They would go crazy.

Posted by: LGoPs at April 13, 2018 06:25 PM (UThOJ)

16
This could explain my life long love of grape soda

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 13, 2018 06:25 PM (lKyWE)

17 I identify as a different color everyday.

Beat that libtards.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at April 13, 2018 06:25 PM (KCgrJ)

18 CNN contributor Symone Sanders accuse of disorderly conduct at LaGuardia airport.

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/294057/

Posted by: steevy at April 13, 2018 06:25 PM (LiyEm)

19 Gary is for realz.

Posted by: Lieawatha Warren at April 13, 2018 06:25 PM (Tyii7)

20 He also stated that "he got jiggy with it" on several occasions.

Posted by: josephistan at April 13, 2018 06:25 PM (ANIFC)

21 SMR smirks at these absurd identities.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (fA1SL)

22 It shows how committed they are to commas.

We mainly object to what they do with colons.

Posted by: DaveA at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (FhXTo)

23 I can barely keep up with all these posts. And I'm retired, it's a Friday night and I'm a batchelor for the weekend!

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (lL1dI)

24 I had a fried pork chop and collard greens from a soul food restaurant once. Keepin' it real, dawg.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (NWiLs)

25

Joel Pollack. Now HE'S Afro-American, dudes.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (VM6ev)

26 Anybody who has ever seen me try to dance knows that I could never get away with claiming blackness.

Posted by: Mark1971 at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (xPl2J)

27 This guy is out of his cotton-pickin' mind.

Posted by: Lieawatha Warren at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (Tyii7)

28 >>"I see an America of African Americans, Latinos, gays, lesbians, trangenders. I see an America of schoolteachers, shop owners, soldiers, firemen, astronauts and farmers."

Y-M-C-A

Posted by: JackStraw at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (/tuJf)

29 Remember when when Mario Van Peebles was a genius because he made New Jack City while being black?

Posted by: steevy at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (LiyEm)

30 "It's my privilege to be here speaking today."

/Shipman

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:27 PM (wPiJc)

31 Thomas Sowell is not black.
There you go.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at April 13, 2018 06:27 PM (roQNm)

32 I watch Arthel Neville every weekend, does that count?

Posted by: wth at April 13, 2018 06:27 PM (HgMAr)

33 I identify as a person of pallor. Palest Greek guy you'll ever meet.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 13, 2018 06:27 PM (p+Wdc)

34 between us here, the word "honky" always makes me giggle.

first it sounds ridiculous, second and more importantly it makes me wonder, is that all you got?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:27 PM (MTjB1)

35 >> Remember when when Mario Van Peebles

had a detective show based in Miami?

Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:27 PM (Kl4ww)

36 I listened to a song by Eiffel 65 once so I goes that makes me a f'n Smurf.

Posted by: I'm blue at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM (UdKB7)

37 Even though I'm low-carb, I occasionally eat a Popeye's chicken breast
(I think it's like 20 carbs). I'm black -- I mean, I'm a Person of
Color, too.

according to my cookbook program a chicken breast contains zero carbs. So that must be the breading that Popeyes uses. Looking up Bojangles chicken breast it says 10 carbs.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM (mpXpK)

38 Comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, commiiiiitment...

Posted by: hobbitopoly at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM (MX7xj)

39 ever since mario van peebles worked with clint his career has gone straight down the brennan.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM (MTjB1)

40 31 Thomas Sowell is not black.
There you go.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at April 13, 2018 06:27 PM (roQNm)

But C. Thomas Howell was black in a movie once.

Posted by: josephistan at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM (ANIFC)

41 34. Charlie used to be in use for that purpose, until 'Nam. Goldberg, as well.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM (fA1SL)

42 White is a color.

It's ALL the colors.

Black is the absence of color.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM

Additive or subtractive?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM (roQNm)

43 I like cornbread, black eyed peas and Kool-Aid. Had more than a few fawties in my day too.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:29 PM (NWiLs)

44
Damn comma-nists.

I'm committed to ampersands.

Posted by: Hands at April 13, 2018 06:29 PM (EzdLW)

45 I saw "Boss Ni--er" in 1975. That is the movie's title before anyone gets the vapors.

Fred Wlliamson at his best.

I think James Brown sang the theme song.

That should count for something.

The theme song is on YouTube if you want to hear it.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 13, 2018 06:29 PM (EoRCO)

46 Another word that leftism has robbed of all meaning ?

"Unbelievable".

Stupidity + hubris = 21st century demonrats

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at April 13, 2018 06:29 PM (Mbmmf)

47 This guy is a clown. He should identify as a person of multiple colors.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at April 13, 2018 06:29 PM (MX7xj)

48 I just didn't go to Starbucks.

#BlackYo

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (4e+hS)

49 I see a Democrat party of grifters, ball garglers, paste eaters, trannies, preverts, noodle arm twinks, and louth mouthed cvnts.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (4ErVI)

50 Realistically, we all know most racial problems in this country are due to the Irish and the Ice-backs.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (fA1SL)

51 I drank a Colt 45 malt liquor. Also Rainer Ale. As is my wont. So that makes me African-Americanski too, yes?

Posted by: adobe juan kenobe at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (zDOlG)

52 Oy.

Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (AoK0a)

53 I feel good. Like I knew I would.

Posted by: Gary Shipman at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (Tyii7)

54 Seriously,ace probably remember the hype that movie got and it is pathetically bad.At least Black Panther is a decent superhero movie.

Posted by: steevy at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (LiyEm)

55 You may be black or brown or yellow or white but your blood is still red.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (q9Pb9)

56 Actually I really like funk and fried chicken too so now I'm starting to wonder.

Posted by: f'd at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (UdKB7)

57 Realistically, we all know most racial problems in this country are due to the Irish and the Ice-backs.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine at April

well, that is when things started downhill

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (MTjB1)

58 45 I saw "Boss Ni--er" in 1975. That is the movie's title before anyone gets the vapors.

Fred Wlliamson at his best.

I think James Brown sang the theme song.

That should count for something.

The theme song is on YouTube if you want to hear it.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 13, 2018 06:29 PM (EoRCO)

Those blaxploitation flicks are fun times. Pam Grier is great (and still is).

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (4ErVI)

59 CNN contributor Symone Sanders accuse of disorderly conduct at LaGuardia airport.

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/294057/

Posted by: steevy at April 13, 2018 06:25 PM (LiyEm)
.............

People stampeding to get away from her?

Posted by: wth at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (HgMAr)

60 Additive or subtractive?
Posted by: Skandia Recluse at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM (roQNm)
--------

Divisive

Posted by: bluebell at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (oMtOd)

61 I watched the music videos Humpty Dance (Digital Underground) and Fishnet (Morris Day and the Time) over and over and over.

I claim space in the African-American community.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (QLvwG)

62
I wanna be the Kosher Marshmallow Fluff inside a Pam Greer/Stacy Dash sammich.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (VM6ev)

63 Leftism in this country, dividing Americans by skin color since 1865

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (aC6Sd)

64 Red and yellow and pink and green
Purple and orange and blue
Ate a box of crayons
Crayola crayons
Now it's in my poo.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (fuK7c)

65 https://tinyurl.com/y77phjox

White boy suspended for claiming 'African' prize

By Marcus Warren in New York

12:01AM GMT 27 Jan 2004

A white teenager who moved from South Africa to America six years ago was suspended from school after nominating himself for a "Distinguished African-American Student of the Year" prize. Trevor Richards, 16, was accused of "showing disrespect" to black pupils at Westside High School in Omaha, Nebraska. It is thought he is the only pupil to have lived in Africa.

He and two friends put up campaign posters showing him making a thumbs-up sign and all three were suspended.

Posted by: Mark1971 at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (xPl2J)

66 Additive or subtractive?
Posted by: Skandia Recluse at April

dominant

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (MTjB1)

67 10
Hillary Clinton was a member of the Afro American community -- her membership was earned by simply carrying a bottle of Hot Sauce in her pocketbook.
Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at April 13, 2018 06:24 PM (pwFp+)

I've actually had packets of CFA buffalo sauce in my purse. Coz sometimes they give one too many, so I take it home.

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (hMwEB)

68 I see Americans, and road fill.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Divison at April 13, 2018 06:32 PM (aMlLZ)

69 61 I watched the music videos Humpty Dance (Digital Underground) and Fishnet (Morris Day and the Time) over and over and over.

I claim space in the African-American community.
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (QLvwG)

"Why can't I be like Endicott?..."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:32 PM (VM6ev)

70 "How sick of you are with the leftist trope of just naming a series of nouns when you want to show how diverse or inclusive you are?

==

everybody, and I mean everybody is sick of it - left, right and center

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2018 06:32 PM (bUjCl)

71 I got all your colors right here beyoch.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:32 PM (MTjB1)

72 bluebell. you've got mail, Dear.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 13, 2018 06:32 PM (q9Pb9)

73 I have had a black guy tell me that I have a lot of soul for a white guy. I asked if he could put that in writing, get it notarized. No dice.

Posted by: josephistan at April 13, 2018 06:32 PM (ANIFC)

74
Even though I'm low-carb, I occasionally eat a Popeye's chicken breast (I think it's like 20 carbs).

I just ratcheded up the carbs for one lousy day and I feel high as a kite. People eat this crap day after day after day?

I mean, I can see it, but it's like food masturbation. Which inevitably leads to getting your feet cut off at the ankles. So I'm kinda stumped.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at April 13, 2018 06:32 PM (LOgQ4)

75 And we have the tats to prove it.

Posted by: Queen of Spades at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (CVs5m)

76 I have personally grown, picked, eaten, and enjoyed watermelon.

I rest my case.

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (Pblpu)

77 >>I watched the music videos Humpty Dance (Digital Underground)

Sex Packets is a great LP!

Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (Kl4ww)

78 Those blaxploitation flicks are fun times. Pam Grier is great (and still is).
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (4ErVI)

Yup.......could be a nice theme for the movie thread this weekend.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (EoRCO)

79 Okie dokie, Ben Had! Off to look.

Posted by: bluebell at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (oMtOd)

80 He and two friends put up campaign posters showing him making a thumbs-up sign and all three were suspended.

Posted by: Mark1971

Days like today, I run out of 'Oy's really fast.

Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (AoK0a)

81
To me, fried chicken and waffles actually sounds more midwestern Scandi than Harlem/Compton.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (VM6ev)

82 I'm grilling steak outside in the rain and humming. Does that make me Gene Kelly?

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (lL1dI)

83 Sheesh...I can't even.

Beer time.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (0tfLf)

84 Which inevitably leads to getting your feet cut off at the ankles. So I'm kinda stumped.

******

ISWYDT

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:33 PM (wPiJc)

85 I eschew Mayonnaise.

So.

Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (Kl4ww)

86 58 45 I saw "Boss Ni--er" in 1975. That is the movie's title before anyone gets the vapors.

Fred Wlliamson at his best.

I think James Brown sang the theme song.

That should count for something.

The theme song is on YouTube if you want to hear it.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 13, 2018 06:29 PM (EoRCO)

Those blaxploitation flicks are fun times. Pam Grier is great (and still is).
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (4ErVI)

I love Rudy Ray Moore movies - Dolemite, The Avenging Disco Godfather, etc.

Posted by: josephistan at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (ANIFC)

87 Volunteered at a nonprofit and the flaming Lib director would say,

"For thanksgiving I invited my Iraqi friend, my black friend, my asian friend, my hobo friend...".....God she was so annoying. And thats racism right there.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (o7tuA)

88 Way OT, but I'm going to do it anyway. My son just received an appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy. Thanks to Lamar Alexander for the nomination. Son put in a ton of work for this. So proud of him!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (gC2IV)

89 To me, fried chicken and waffles actually sounds more midwestern Scandi than Harlem/Compton.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April

have harlem and / or compton invented something since the 20s?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (MTjB1)

90 85 I eschew Mayonnaise.

So.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (Kl4ww)

Try swirling it in your mouth before es-chewing...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (VM6ev)

91 Well, when I took anthropology back in the late 80's the prvailing theory was that human life originated in what is now called Africa. So if you go back far enough in your family tree, you will arrive in Africa. If you were born in America, that would make you African-American.

Posted by: Darth Randall at April 13, 2018 06:35 PM (6n332)

92 89
have harlem and / or compton invented something since the 20s?
Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (MTjB1)

White interlopers, diamond merchants and Bill Clinton's office.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:35 PM (VM6ev)

93 I eschew Mayonnaise.

So.
Posted by: garrett at April

you do not have to share every aberrant behavior you engage in with the horde.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:35 PM (MTjB1)

94 I feel good. Like I knew I would.

Posted by: Gary Shipman at April 13, 2018 06:30 PM (Tyii7)
............

You're sleeping better.

Much better.

And you're looking good!

Feeling good!

I knew you would.

Posted by: wth at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (HgMAr)

95 My son just received an appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy.

Congrats and good on him.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (Tyii7)

96 Whose the white Democratic legislator that's a sex machine for all the chicks...

Posted by: tu3031 at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (O5Q3r)

97 I was once cornered by 15 blacks and was about to subjected to the ass whooping of my life. I did not react and they decided to leave me alone. Revenge was sweet.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (q9Pb9)

98 Congrats Duke Lowell!

I guess yoy can look forward to a having a daughter -in-law in every port

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (hMwEB)

99 96 Whose the white Democratic legislator that's a sex machine for all the chicks...
Posted by: tu3031 at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (O5Q3r)

Not Cory Booker.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (VM6ev)

100 I don't care what the dude identifies as, I just want to know if he can fly cast.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (fuK7c)

101 Well, when I took anthropology back in the late 80's the prvailing theory was that human life originated in what is now called Africa. So if you go back far enough in your family tree, you will arrive in Africa. If you were born in America, that would make you African-American.
Posted by: Darth Randall at April

hyphenated nationalities are for losers. pick one.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (MTjB1)

102 Hey, if Bill Clinton can be the First Black President, then anything is possible.

Posted by: rickl at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (sdi6R)

103 Congratulations Duke.

Posted by: steevy at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (LiyEm)

104 This is standard Democratic jive-talking. Like Bill Clinton was the first black president.

Posted by: goodluckduck at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (rwaEp)

105 It would seem the drink service on this commuter flight does not offer beer as an option.

I sense a strongly worded letter in ANAs future.

Or I could just make up for it at the lounge during the layover. I'll probably just go with that.

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (Pblpu)

106 He and two friends put up campaign posters showing him making a thumbs-up sign and all three were suspended.

Posted by: Mark1971 at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (xPl2J)

lol
Something tells me they knew exactly what they were doing.

And I support their right to display logic. I hope their parents tell the school to fvck off. I'm so sick of all this shit. Obama and his ilk have set race relationships back decades. And fvck you media for helping.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (lAVPT)

107 Way OT, but I'm going to do it anyway. My son just
received an appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy.
Thanks to Lamar Alexander for the nomination. Son put in a ton of work
for this. So proud of him!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (gC2IV)

Nice going, son of Duke!

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (QLvwG)

108 Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (gC2IV)

Fair Winds to your son & Congratulations to proud dad!

Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (AoK0a)

109 100 I don't care what the dude identifies as, I just want to know if he can fly cast.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 13, 2018 06:36 PM (fuK7c)

Superfly cast...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (VM6ev)

110 Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (gC2IV)

******

Heartfelt congratulations are in order!!

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (wPiJc)

111 Duke Lowell, High praise for your son.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (q9Pb9)

112 according to my cookbook program a chicken breast contains zero carbs. So that must be the breading that Popeyes uses. Looking up Bojangles chicken breast it says 10 carbs.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at April 13, 2018 06:28 PM

Yeah, they bread it and use the worst combinations of 'vegetable oils' in the planet to fry it.

I'm not sure what planet these 'vegetables' are grown on.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at April 13, 2018 06:38 PM (LOgQ4)

113 Superfly cast...
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April

funny

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:38 PM (MTjB1)

114 Gonna make my fortune by and by.

Posted by: Gary Shipman at April 13, 2018 06:38 PM (Tyii7)

115 Hey, I must be black too, I have all the music of black performers from the 60s and 70s on vinyl, no less. That's real authenticity, not like these Johnny-come-latelys with their downloads.

Posted by: Decaf at April 13, 2018 06:38 PM (/3+Sg)

116 And to think, all these years I thought a Merchant Marine was the guy running the Base Exchange at Camp LeJeune.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:38 PM (wPiJc)

117 88 Way OT, but I'm going to do it anyway. My son just received an appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy. Thanks to Lamar Alexander for the nomination. Son put in a ton of work for this. So proud of him!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (gC2IV)

Excellent Duke!

*shoves cigar through the port*

Congrats to son. My dad was a merchant marine during WWII. Loved it.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:38 PM (o7tuA)

118 Congratulations Duke Lowell!! That's wonderful

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2018 06:38 PM (dUJdY)

119 88 Way OT, but I'm going to do it anyway. My son just received an appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy. Thanks to Lamar Alexander for the nomination. Son put in a ton of work for this. So proud of him!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (gC2IV)

Duke, well done to him and you!
My boy graduates from Mass Maritime in two months!

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 06:39 PM (lL1dI)

120 >>Democrats really just love listing nouns in sequence. It shows how committed they are to commas.

LOL

Intersectionality FTW! Now get in your little groups so I can say how all of this affects you, as members of your groups, not as an independent free-thinking and free-associating human being!!

Posted by: Lizzy at April 13, 2018 06:39 PM (W+vEI)

121 Well ... not meaning to steal Duke's thunder ... but both of my kids kept their "no time in prison" streak going today.

Couldn't. Be. Prouder.

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:39 PM (Pblpu)

122 I am making "party wings" for dinner

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 06:39 PM (hMwEB)

123 I'm a member of the African American community.

Posted by: Tony Curtis at April 13, 2018 06:40 PM (+F511)

124 "I identify as a Wombat.
Posted by: steevy at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM (LiyEm)"

-----

Only if you have a hairy nose.

Posted by: Decaf at April 13, 2018 06:40 PM (/3+Sg)

125 88 Way OT, but I'm going to do it anyway. My son just received an appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy. Thanks to Lamar Alexander for the nomination. Son put in a ton of work for this. So proud of him!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (gC2IV)

Congratulations! I wish him much success and fulfillment.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:40 PM (lAVPT)

126 Well ... not meaning to steal Duke's thunder ... but both of my kids kept their "no time in prison" streak going today.

Couldn't. Be. Prouder.
Posted by: ScoggDog at April

lucky to have a father that is well connected, has lots of juice, and can afford the best lawyers.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:40 PM (MTjB1)

127 Duke, that's wonderful! Heartfelt congratulations to your son, the Marquess or Earl or whatever he identifies as. And to his parents, who no doubt made him the young man he is.

Posted by: bluebell at April 13, 2018 06:40 PM (oMtOd)

128 I saw Black Dynamite and Fear of a Black Hat in a double feature.

Suck my big, bodacious black ass, beyotches.

Posted by: Fritz at April 13, 2018 06:40 PM (bJ0w+)

129 I sense a strongly worded letter in ANAs future.

Or I could just make up for it at the lounge during the layover. I'll probably just go with that.

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (Pblpu)

Yeah, Writing when you're loaded not a great idea. Oh wait...never mind.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:41 PM (o7tuA)

130 "Hillary Clinton was a member of the Afro American community -- her membership was earned by simply carrying a bottle of Hot Sauce in her pocketbook.
Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at April 13, 2018 06:24 PM (pwFp+)"

---------

I thought that was to show that she was down with Latinos.

Posted by: Decaf at April 13, 2018 06:41 PM (/3+Sg)

131 Way to go, ScoggSpawn!

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 06:41 PM (lL1dI)

132 Congrats to your son, Duke!!

Posted by: Lizzy at April 13, 2018 06:41 PM (W+vEI)

133 My boy graduates from Mass Maritime in two months!
Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 06:39 PM (lL1dI)
---------

Wow, Red, that's terrific too. Staying close to the sea like his daddy rooster.

Posted by: bluebell at April 13, 2018 06:42 PM (oMtOd)

134 I rubbed one out to a black chick in Penthouse back when I was sixteen.

Bonafides. Established.

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:42 PM (Pblpu)

135 Thanks, horde! He made it past the congressional nomination twice with the Naval Academy, but never got the appointment. Now he can get a commission in the Navy plus he gets his commercial ticket. Oh, and a degree in marine engineering. Not a bad way to start his adult life.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:42 PM (gC2IV)

136 If you is chewing yo mayo you should probably throw the rest of that jar out.

Posted by: f'd at April 13, 2018 06:42 PM (UdKB7)

137 116 And to think, all these years I thought a Merchant Marine was the guy running the Base Exchange at Camp LeJeune.
Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:38 PM (wPiJc)

Barack Obama runs the latrine at Camp Jejune.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (VM6ev)

138
I'm a member of the African American community.
Posted by: Tony Curtis at April 13, 2018 06:40 PM (+F511)

Me too! *giggle*

Posted by: Charlize Theron at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (eXA4G)

139 Hmmm... I'm not really white. I've never seen so much as an Eddie Murphy movie. I guess that makes me white.

Posted by: Bear phone at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (v9gSJ)

140 I rubbed one out to a black chick in Penthouse back when I was sixteen.

Bonafides. Established.
Posted by: ScoggDog at April

not unless you got it notarized.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (MTjB1)

141 I did a gym routine to Marvin Gay's Trouble Man theme ... back in HS PE class.

Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (AoK0a)

142 Democrats really just love listing nouns in sequence.

--

I once met an Army sergeant who could curse really well in that manner.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (roQNm)

143 Thanks, Bluebell. I'm really looking forward to being a drag on him as I age.

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (lL1dI)

144 ""I've eaten at many a fish fry held by my 'brothers' and 'sisters,'
'aunts' and 'uncles' in that community; I've celebrated birthdays,
births, marriages, graduations, Christmas, Thanksgiving, July 4, etc.,
with many members of the African-American community," Shipman wrote in
an email to The News Observer."

And yet no mention of Juneteenth or Kwanzaa - an interesting oversight.

Posted by: Fa Queue Honk Ease at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (rznWS)

145 134 I rubbed one out to a black chick in Penthouse back when I was sixteen.

Bonafides. Established.
Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:42 PM (Pblpu)

So. Duke lacrosse team?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (VM6ev)

146 91
Well, when I took anthropology back in the late 80's the prvailing
theory was that human life originated in what is now called Africa. So
if you go back far enough in your family tree, you will arrive in
Africa. If you were born in America, that would make you
African-American.

Posted by: Darth Randall at April 13, 2018 06:35 PM (6n332)

That Africa origin theory is now being questioned as more evidence crops up.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at April 13, 2018 06:44 PM (mpXpK)

147 26 Well ... not meaning to steal Duke's thunder ... but both of my kids kept their "no time in prison" streak going today.

Couldn't. Be. Prouder.
Posted by: ScoggDog at April

Well their dad is a great role model...oh who am I kidding.

Are you sure they're yours?

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:44 PM (o7tuA)

148 141 I did a gym routine to Marvin Gay's Trouble Man theme ... back in HS PE class.
Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 06:43 PM (AoK0a)

Footage or it didn't happen.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:44 PM (VM6ev)

149 Shipman's campaign theme song:

♫♪

'Cause I'm a panderer
Yeah a panderer
I roam around, around around

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:44 PM (wPiJc)

150 Duke, I recently saw an old movie on TCM I think, about newly commissioned Merchant Marine officers on convoy duty during WW II. These guys had a war record to be proud of. Congratulations to your son!

Posted by: Eromero at April 13, 2018 06:44 PM (zLDYs)

151 I know all about being black. Richard Pryor showed me how in a train station bathroom before we boarded Silver Streak, sneaking past the cops.

Posted by: Gene Wilder at April 13, 2018 06:44 PM (QLvwG)

152 Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:37 PM (Pblpu)

Yeah, Writing when you're loaded not a great idea. Oh wait...never mind.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:41 PM (o7tuA)

Three beers. Just really in the mood to drink.

And Duke - all jokes aside - that's a damn good start for your kid. He done kid. You don't need me to tell you that.

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:44 PM (Pblpu)

153 Hmm. My dating history pre-marriage should include me in a lot of different tribes. Missed Zulu by this much. } {

The story I tell my wife is that I was raised in a
Cistercian Monastery, only knowing of women what I read in Cosmo. For some unknown reason she does not believe this.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (hyuyC)

154
I think it's been established that rubbing only one out to a black chick in Penthouse is the equivalent of being the Grand Knight of the KKK.

Posted by: SPLC at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (LOgQ4)

155 Ace they are dedicated to "commanism...."

Posted by: sven10077 at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (SzZnW)

156 I'll bet he still can't jump.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (wPiJc)

157 155 Ace they are dedicated to "commanism...."
Posted by: sven10077 at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (SzZnW)

With die-uh-BEET-us...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (VM6ev)

158 121 Well ... not meaning to steal Duke's thunder ... but both of my kids kept their "no time in prison" streak going today.

Couldn't. Be. Prouder.
Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:39 PM (Pblpu)

White privilege.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (NWiLs)

159 6 >>White is a color.

It's ALL the colors.

...
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:23 PM (Kl4ww)

I'm WAY more a person of color than I thought, then.
Imagine how colorful gingers are...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (xJa6I)

160 I think it's been established that rubbing only one out to a black chick in Penthouse is the equivalent of being the Grand Knight of the KKK.
Posted by: SPLC at April

yeah, has to be on not to

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:46 PM (MTjB1)

161 is 20 carbs a lot or a little?

seems pretty low, but there is a lot of breading, so i would think more

I guess it depends on the units. What units do we use here? The only one I am aware of is "handle."

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at April 13, 2018 06:46 PM (LWu6U)

162 NBA action is fannnntastic!

Posted by: Gary Shipman at April 13, 2018 06:46 PM (O5Q3r)

163 134 I rubbed one out to a black chick in Penthouse back when I was sixteen.

Bonafides. Established.
Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:42 PM (Pblpu)

Vanessa Williams?

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:46 PM (NWiLs)

164 I'm WAY more a person of color than I thought, then.
Imagine how colorful gingers are...
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at April

veritable rainbow

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:46 PM (MTjB1)

165 134 I rubbed one out to a black chick in Penthouse back when I was sixteen.

Bonafides. Established.
Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:42 PM (Pblpu)

Bonerfides. There ya go Scogg. But yeah, you're a black guy alright.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:46 PM (o7tuA)

166 Footage or it didn't happen.

The cartwheelin' days be Gone With the Wind. I still have the LP though ...
: -)

Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 06:47 PM (AoK0a)

167 157 Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (VM6ev)

RIP Wilford Brimley....

Posted by: sven10077 at April 13, 2018 06:47 PM (SzZnW)

168 th

Posted by: willy at April 13, 2018 06:47 PM (puf6g)

169 Oh, and a degree in marine engineering. Not a bad way to start his adult life.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:42 PM (gC2IV

He's going below decks????? Nooooooh!
Deckie for the win!
BTW, Red Jr. was doing ocean-going tugs this winter and got a job offer the day after he went back to school. Merchant Marine for the win!
How else would we get our shit from China?

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 06:47 PM (lL1dI)

170
Vanessa Williams is no longer counted for or against.

Posted by: SPLC at April 13, 2018 06:47 PM (LOgQ4)

171 Damn. Missed the Andy McCabe thread.

Doesn't Andy know that you SHOULD NEVER TALK TO THE FBI, EVER?!?!?!

Everybody out here in Flyover Country knows this . . .

Posted by: Sharkman at April 13, 2018 06:47 PM (a3kvc)

172 With die-uh-BEET-us...

You can fix that, you know.

Posted by: Zombie Wilford Brimley at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (Tyii7)

173 I can't jump
I've got no rythm
I guess I have to settle
For being a person of pallor

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (hMwEB)

174 170
Vanessa Williams is no longer counted for or against.
Posted by: SPLC at April 13, 2018 06:47 PM (LOgQ4)

I'd like to be down for 'for' in her case.

Vanessa Williams, uh, you're fine.
Just wanna put your name in my rhyme.

Do what ya like.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (xJa6I)

175 And so it begins.

The Mets lost not 1 but 2 catchers this week, one to Tommy John surgery.

Oh well, we won the first two weeks of the season.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (/tuJf)

176 173. Lousy limerick. And too long for haiku

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (fA1SL)

177 Damn. Missed the Andy McCabe thread.

Doesn't Andy know that you SHOULD NEVER TALK TO THE FBI, EVER?!?!?!

Everybody out here in Flyover Country knows this . . .
Posted by: Sharkman at April

you mean because lying to them is a crime and the only record is their handwritten notes?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (MTjB1)

178 If Shipman is rollin on 22s he might have a case.

Posted by: f'd at April 13, 2018 06:49 PM (UdKB7)

179 Rahm Emmanuel implied that he was persecuted for being black as a child, because of his dark complexion. Jeb claimed to be hispanic. Politicians are just lying whores.

Posted by: Bear phone at April 13, 2018 06:49 PM (v9gSJ)

180 What all this has illustrated to me is this: The GOP wants to lose.

Or they are getting the worst advice in the world.

It's why I have left.

Posted by: nip at April 13, 2018 06:49 PM (ECLaL)

181 I think it's been established that rubbing only one out to a black chick in Penthouse is the equivalent of being the Grand Knight of the KKK.

Posted by: SPLC at April
.............

So the trick is to let the pages dry before closing the mag?

Posted by: wth at April 13, 2018 06:49 PM (HgMAr)

182 Rahm Emmanuel implied that he was persecuted for being black as a child, because of his dark complexion. Jeb claimed to be hispanic. Politicians are just lying whores.
Posted by: Bear phone at April

well, apparently w and jeb were abused by the pizza pedo ring in dc.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:49 PM (MTjB1)

183 And there's video of him singing. He's pro-gay too!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voBcDtXIMvA

Posted by: andycanuck at April 13, 2018 06:50 PM (VBKy9)

184 181 I think it's been established that rubbing only one out to a black chick in Penthouse is the equivalent of being the Grand Knight of the KKK.

Posted by: SPLC at April
.............

So the trick is to let the pages dry before closing the mag?
Posted by: wth at April 13, 2018 06:49 PM (HgMAr)

Glossy pages are easier to clean.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:50 PM (NWiLs)

185 A white teenager who moved from South Africa to
America six years ago was suspended from school after nominating himself
for a "Distinguished African-American Student of the Year" prize.
Trevor Richards, 16, was accused of "showing disrespect" to black pupils
at Westside High School in Omaha, Nebraska. It is thought he is the
only pupil to have lived in Africa.

He and two friends put up campaign posters showing him making a thumbs-up sign and all three were suspended.

Posted by: Mark1971 at April 13, 2018 06:31 PM (xPl2J)
So what is he then, if not African- American?

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V sez don't you dare walk the damn pitcher at April 13, 2018 06:50 PM (H80UQ)

186 176 173. Lousy limerick. And too long for haiku

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (fA1SL)

It's free verse, UNCLE!
*sulks*

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 06:50 PM (hMwEB)

187 So we've settled the color of his skin question. What about the content of his character?

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:51 PM (wPiJc)

188 I'm a part of the OMGitsthundersleetingthenfreezingrainthen15inchesofsnowcommunity.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 06:51 PM (8PL+d)

189 My guess is that Ace was trying to get a "I'm so black,..." thread going.

It's friday, and this is always good to keep the morons amused for a couple hours.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at April 13, 2018 06:51 PM (LWu6U)

190 Almost 200 in and no references to The Jerk? It's like I don't even know you people!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:51 PM (gC2IV)

191 can't have too much snow

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:51 PM (MTjB1)

192
We have a committee meeting this week to decide if girl-on-girl Vanessa Williams is racial. More evidence, a lot more evidence, is hoped for before a definite conclusion can be arrived at.

Posted by: SPLC at April 13, 2018 06:51 PM (LOgQ4)

193 Vanessa Williams
I rubbed many out for thee
My lust burns for you

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (NWiLs)

194 I used to smoke Kools, am I in the club? Please?

Posted by: Fumes at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (nWc4E)

195 yankeefifth

Oh yes you can. Ask me how I know.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (hyuyC)

196 >Glossy pages are easier to clean.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:50 PM (NWiLs)

Once again, I'm a little disturbed that I get your shit.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (8PL+d)

197 167 157 Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 06:45 PM (VM6ev)

RIP Wilford Brimley....
Posted by: sven10077 at April 13, 2018 06:47 PM (SzZnW)

I may have diabeetus, but I'm still alive!

Posted by: Wilford Brimley at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (uy4Sm)

198 Hillary posing as alternately black or evangelical, etc. One could compile a list of the most idiotic attempts at assuming fake identities by politicians throughout history.

Posted by: Bear phone at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (v9gSJ)

199 Funny thing is, Rachel Dolezal actually kinda looked light one of Joe Biden's type of blacks -- you know, light-skinned -- and she actually lived the part but still got lambasted for it. This dude's got nothing on Dolezal, except he can spread the tax $ around "his" community.

Posted by: SFGoth at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (dZ756)

200 Waayyyy too much info on here sometimes.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (lAVPT)

201 Sheeeeit! Steak, etc. is done. Gotta eat. BBL!

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (lL1dI)

202 179
Rahm Emmanuel implied that he was persecuted for being black as a child,
because of his dark complexion.

Posted by: Bear phone at April 13, 2018 06:49 PM (v9gSJ)
Did he go to a school for the blind? Nobody with sight would mistake Rahm for black. Hell, Stevie Wonder wouldn't mistake Rahm for black.

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V sez don't you dare walk the damn pitcher at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (H80UQ)

203 Once again, I'm a little disturbed that I get your shit.
Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (8PL+d)

Hell, I'm disturbed that I get it half the time too.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:53 PM (NWiLs)

204 I was born a poor, black child!

Posted by: Steve Martin at April 13, 2018 06:53 PM (dZ756)

205 Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 06:51 PM (8PL+d)

Thanks for the bj.

Posted by: The Margins at April 13, 2018 06:53 PM (uy4Sm)

206 yankeefifth

Oh yes you can. Ask me how I know.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at April

how?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:53 PM (MTjB1)

207 Shipman:

Clean? Check

Articulate? Check

Black? We'll have to get back to you on that one.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM (wPiJc)

208 I work with lots of African Americans. As a matter of fact my new boss is African American. I'm part of the community too.

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM (jm1YL)

209 200 Waayyyy too much info on here sometimes.
Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (lAVPT)

Like you never rubbed one out thinking about Karl Urban.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM (NWiLs)

210 So what is he then, if not African- American?
Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V sez don't you dare walk the damn pitcher at April 13, 2018 06:50 PM (H80UQ)
----------

Probably still just African, as I doubt he's been here long enough to be naturalized.

Posted by: bluebell at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM (oMtOd)

211 Once again, I'm a little disturbed that I get your shit.
Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (8PL+d)

Hell, I'm disturbed that I get it half the time too.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:53 PM (NWiLs)

I'm disturbed by both of you.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:55 PM (lAVPT)

212

Remember when Tennessee rep Steve Cohen tried to join the Congressional Black Caucus?

The organization's no-whites policy was tested most recently last year by a newly elected House member, Stephen I. Cohen of Tennessee, a white man who represents a 60 percent black district previously held by Harold Ford Jr. During Cohen's 2006 campaign he was quoted as saying that if elected he would try to become "the first white member" of the Congressional Black Caucus. But shortly after being sworn in the following January, Cohen told another reporter that he dropped his bid after hearing from several current and former caucus members that whites need not apply.

"I think they're real happy I'm not going to join," said Cohen, accoring to Josephine Hearn, who covers the House for Politico.com. "It's their caucus and they do things their way. You don't force your way in. You need to be invited."

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 13, 2018 06:55 PM (IqV8l)

213 Like you never rubbed one out thinking about Karl Urban.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM (NWiLs)

mmm Karl Urban....

brb

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 06:55 PM (hMwEB)

214 211 Once again, I'm a little disturbed that I get your shit.
Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (8PL+d)

Hell, I'm disturbed that I get it half the time too.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:53 PM (NWiLs)

I'm disturbed by both of you.
Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:55 PM (lAVPT)

Winning!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:55 PM (NWiLs)

215 Almost 200 in and no references to The Jerk? It's like I don't even know you people!
Posted by: Duke Lowell

We talked about Andy McCabe a few threads back. Keep up!

Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (AoK0a)

216 @185: "So what is he then, if not African- American?"

A cracka-ass cracka oppressor colonist. Duh!

Posted by: The Left at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (rznWS)

217 Probably still just African, as I doubt he's been here long enough to be naturalized.

Posted by: bluebell at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM

You misspelled 'neutralized'. It's what we do.

Posted by: SPLC at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (LOgQ4)

218 mmm Karl Urban....

brb
Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April

where do you have to go?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (MTjB1)

219 Waayyyy too much info on here sometimes.
Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (lAVPT)

Like you never rubbed one out thinking about Karl Urban.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM (NWiLs)

I think it is hilarious you knew I was talking about you.

And who the hell is Karl Urban? Is he related to Keith Urban?

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (lAVPT)

220 200
Waayyyy too much info on here sometimes.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (lAVPT)

...have I ever told you about my vasectomy?

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (o7tuA)

221 >> CNN contributor Symone Sanders accuse of disorderly conduct at LaGuardia airport.

Bitch looks like Aaron Judge in a dress.

Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (tdRay)

222 Solid!

Posted by: Anon a mouse at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (7LY+6)

223 Red and yellow, pink and green
Purple and orande and blue
I can crap a rainbow, crap a rainbow
If I eat Crayolas too

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2018 06:57 PM (aC6Sd)

224 "So what is he then, if not African- American?"

==

Boer-American?

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 06:57 PM (hMwEB)

225 Shipman:

Clean? Check

Articulate? Check

Black? We'll have to get back to you on that one.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM (wPiJc)
..........

Does he crease his pants?

Posted by: wth at April 13, 2018 06:57 PM (HgMAr)

226
I mean, I can see it, but it's like food masturbation. Which inevitably leads to getting your feet cut off at the ankles. So I'm kinda stumped.
Posted by: Forgot My Nic at April 13, 2018 06:32 PM (LOgQ4)

Cantaloupe + a hole + microwave oven = teenage bliss

Or, so I've been told...

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2018 06:57 PM (eXA4G)

227 219 Waayyyy too much info on here sometimes.
Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:52 PM (lAVPT)

Like you never rubbed one out thinking about Karl Urban.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:54 PM (NWiLs)

I think it is hilarious you knew I was talking about you.

And who the hell is Karl Urban? Is he related to Keith Urban?
Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (lAVPT)

Not that I know of, but the very mention of his name sends votermom to her bunk.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:57 PM (NWiLs)

228 Didn't someone here report a while back that some CNN dolt referred to black Britons as British African Americans?

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V sez don't you dare walk the damn pitcher at April 13, 2018 06:57 PM (H80UQ)

229 Ey! Where the white women at?

Posted by: Sheriff Gary Shipman at April 13, 2018 06:57 PM (rznWS)

230 I'm commited to an America of bread, milk, butter, sausage, eggs, salt and fig newtons.

Posted by: Minuteman at April 13, 2018 06:57 PM (Lx+lF)

231
I liked Sanford and Son and the Jeffersons. Moving on up.

Posted by: publius, the Cranny-Curious Poperin Pear at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (8O3HH)

232 ...have I ever told you about my vasectomy?
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (o7tuA)

I never heard the story. please proceede.

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (bUjCl)

233 .have I ever told you about my vasectomy?

Go ahead... but then you have to read all about my hysterectomy.

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (dUJdY)

234 Way OT, but I'm going to do it anyway. My son just
received an appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy.
Thanks to Lamar Alexander for the nomination. Son put in a ton of work
for this. So proud of him!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2018 06:34 PM (gC2IV)

Congrats to you and your son. Pssst, my Uncle Bill says to tell him NOT to do the Murmansk Run!

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (n9EOP)

235 *Democrats really just love listing nouns in sequence. It shows how committed they are to commas.*

Look, I'm an engineer, i find all this "proper"english shit triggering!

Posted by: tbodie at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (ksPsw)

236 175 And so it begins.

The Mets lost not 1 but 2 catchers this week, one to Tommy John surgery.

Oh well, we won the first two weeks of the season.
Posted by: JackStraw at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (/tuJf)
---------

Now cut that out. Stay positive! The Sox are missing three of their starters right now but they're still going strong.

Posted by: bluebell at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (oMtOd)

237 >> Remember when when Mario Van Peebles

had a detective show based in Miami?

Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2018 06:27 PM (Kl4ww)

With Joe Don Johnson?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (yQpMk)

238 ''My guess is that Ace was trying to get a "I'm so black,..." thread going.

It's friday, and this is always good to keep the morons amused for a couple hours.''

The pitiful ones eating take out Chinese at home and nothing more exciting to do. Although, I did have a glass of a very nice Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand that made the day worth living.

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (jm1YL)

239 Does he crease his pants?"

Wrong verb.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (7LY+6)

240 190
Almost 200 in and no references to The Jerk? It's like I don't even know you people!

Posted by: Duke Lowell

See #204

Posted by: SFGoth at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (dZ756)

241 >I'm disturbed by both of you.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 06:55 PM (lAVPT)

I've already disturbed gumdrop by 1805 CDT. I'd call it a personal best but I've probably done it earlier and she was just too sweet to say anything.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (8PL+d)

242 I saw Slave and the Brothers Johnson open for Graham Central Station at Greenville Memorial Auditorium in 1977. I did, actually, which makes me African-American. However, I left after the Brothers Johnson, thinking they were the headliners, because who the fvck was Graham Central Station? Which makes me whiter than... ?

Posted by: SloPitch Whiffer at April 13, 2018 06:59 PM (V9Z1s)

243 Yea I get that a lot.

Posted by: Carl Erban at April 13, 2018 06:59 PM (UdKB7)

244 Someone has been reminiscing about Capt Noah around here

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2018 06:59 PM (aC6Sd)

245 Jive turkey.

Posted by: 1975 black sitcom at April 13, 2018 06:59 PM (+lOpA)

246
''My guess is that Ace was trying to get a "I'm so black,..." thread going.

It's friday, and this is always good to keep the morons amused for a couple hours.''

Black Friday the thirteenth.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 13, 2018 06:59 PM (IqV8l)

247 Stand back homes.

Posted by: Talcum X at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (BRpqW)

248 *This guy is out of his cotton-pickin' mind.
Posted by: Lieawatha Warren at April 13, 2018 06:26 PM (Tyii7)*

Fire her @ss!

- Broadcaster for OKC Thunder.

Posted by: tbodie at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (ksPsw)

249 Gary Shipman's so black...

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (NWiLs)

250 ...have I ever told you about my vasectomy?
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (o7tuA)

Only one way to do that right.

Slap Hot Iron to it.

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (LB9RI)

251 This is the racism Charlene Terence was talking about moving back to Africa over, right?

Posted by: ABC, CBS, NBC, NPR, and all the rest at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (ks6bw)

252 Karl Urban: LOTR, Star Trek re-boot, Judge Dredd ...

Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (AoK0a)

253 Rahm probably got his ass kicked for looking and acting creepy.

Posted by: Burger Chef at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (RuIsu)

254 but then you have to read all about my hysterectomy"

There's a vas deferens between those tales...

Posted by: Anon a mouse at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (7LY+6)

255 Do you mine if we dance wif your dates?

Posted by: Gary Shipman at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (yQpMk)

256 >> Jive turkey.

You're tellin' me lies.

Posted by: Zombie Andy Gibb at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (tdRay)

257 Trump's latest tweet seems to show he's turning up the heat to 11. Not holding anything back.

It's wonderful to see. A pubbie who actually fights back. Bigly!

Posted by: Pete Seria at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (2WfB0)

258 252 Karl Urban: LOTR, Star Trek re-boot, Judge Dredd ...
Posted by: Adriane the Political Critic ... at April 13, 2018 07:00 PM (AoK0a)

There goes another one.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (NWiLs)

259 Well I looked up Karl Urban. He looks a bit like a dark haired Leo DiCaprio, with a bit of Joshua Duhmel (sp) thrown in.
Not my type. So I won't have to fight votermom for him.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (lAVPT)

260 ''Black Friday the thirt''

Oh crap. It is Friday the Thirteenth.

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (jm1YL)

261 I'm commited to saran wrap, stratocumulous cloud formations, uvulas, and dirt.

And this ashtray

Posted by: Minuteman at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (Lx+lF)

262 Cannibal Bob's many and well-documented health problems arise out of improper post surgical protocols following his rip and snip.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (4wbNq)

263 >>Now cut that out. Stay positive! The Sox are missing three of their starters right now but they're still going strong.

Injuries have crushed us the last couple years. Just an ominous way to start.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (/tuJf)

264 Democrats really just love listing nouns in sequence. It shows how committed they are to commas.

Posted by: Ace of Spades
________

It beats doing the same with adverbs, which is really, really, stupendously, abpominably, quintessentially stupid.

Posted by: FireHorse at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (donMa)

265 ...have I ever told you about my vasectomy?
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM

Unless you woke up mid-procedure no one is interested. I have a theory that HMO's are so cheap that waking you up mid-procedure is part of their contract.

I had an HMO. And a vasectomy. And woke up.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at April 13, 2018 07:02 PM (LOgQ4)

266 Gary Shipman's so black he didn't know who his daddy was until his momma showed him a book of mug shots.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 07:02 PM (NWiLs)

267 @223: "Red and yellow, pink and green

Purple and orande and blue

I can crap a rainbow, crap a rainbow

If I eat Crayolas too"

Napalm sticks to little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, brown and white
See them burning in the the night
'Cause napalm sticks to all the little boys and girls.

Posted by: FaCubeItches at April 13, 2018 07:02 PM (rznWS)

268 So I won't have to fight votermom for him.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (lAVPT)

Oh good.
*puts down tire iron*

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (hMwEB)

269 >The Mets lost not 1 but 2 catchers this week, one to Tommy John surgery.

Oh well, we won the first two weeks of the season.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 13, 2018 06:48 PM (/tuJf)

Do you guys get steep volume discounts on TJ surgery? No offense.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (8PL+d)

270 Darn socks

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (ks6bw)

271 250 & 262. Yep. We just give away all this sound medical advice, only to have it ignored.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (4wbNq)

272 It's funny, I wasn't attracted to black women when I was younger. But now? Holy Hell.

Posted by: Max Power at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (q177U)

273 I have 2 left wing friends. One of whom adopted a Puerto Rican accent and the other a West Indian accent.

Probably because these 2 brothers are LITERALLY descended from Virginia slaveowners.

What's this guy hiding?

(I know, he's a Democrat: He's hiding a sexual attraction to children.)

Posted by: Oschisms at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (Y/y3J)

274 I saw Parliament-Funkadelic and the Commodores in the same year.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (yQpMk)

275 Vasectomy is typically done with a local anesthetic, so no waking up mid-procedure.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (wPiJc)

276 No one doubt my ability to "get down on it".

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (yQpMk)

277 By the way: How sick of you are with the leftist trope of just naming a
series of nouns when you want to show how diverse or inclusive you are?
"I see an America of African Americans, Latinos, gays, lesbians,
trangenders. I see an America of schoolteachers, shop owners, soldiers,
firemen, astronauts and farmers."

BUT NO GUNOWNER BITTER CLINGERS UNPEOPLE!!!

Posted by: adobe juan kenobe at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (zDOlG)

278 232
...have I ever told you about my vasectomy?

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 06:56 PM (o7tuA)

I never heard the story. please proceede.

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (bUjCl)

233
.have I ever told you about my vasectomy?

Go ahead... but then you have to read all about my hysterectomy.

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (dUJdY)

Cliff notes version. Legs in stirrups, doc cuts, pulls on vas tube to cut that, anesthetic didn't take well, I stand up in stirrups and start clucking like a chicken.
Your turn Jewells. Make it quick I need a drink.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (o7tuA)

279 Wait, people get knocked out for their vasectomies?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at April 13, 2018 07:04 PM (ks6bw)

280 What, no laurel and hearty handshake for our new....?

Posted by: Anon a mouse at April 13, 2018 07:04 PM (7LY+6)

281 Vuvuzeulas, uvulas, and vulvas.

Posted by: 1975 black sitcom at April 13, 2018 07:04 PM (+lOpA)

282 And Volvos.

Posted by: 1975 black sitcom at April 13, 2018 07:04 PM (+lOpA)

283 Where are all of the big phat white women at?

Posted by: Fritz at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (bJ0w+)

284 Oh, I just clicked through to the story.

I really didn't think there was anyone whiter than I. I was mistaken.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (fuK7c)

285 yankeefifth

The first family tent camping trip, to Yosemite, was in winter. We were totally unprepared. There are pictures of me as a lad throwing a snowball with my bare hands. While on top of a 6 foot snow bank.

We were snowed in the next day, and hilarity ensued. Too much snow for us, fer sure.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (hyuyC)

286 Oh good.
*puts down tire iron*
Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April

what the hell was the tire iron for?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (MTjB1)

287 A pubbie who actually fights back.
Posted by: Pete Seria at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (2WfB0)

So, are they fighting back bcz someone is trying to cut them?

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (lAVPT)

288 No offense"

They need steroids for that...

Posted by: Anon a mouse at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (7LY+6)

289 hey, everyone. MY phone is totally dead. It's not even doing anything when I plug in the charger. I just got it in January and it was charged just yesterday. Any ideas? I really need my phone.

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (H80UQ)

290 It's wonderful to see. A pubbie who actually fights back. Bigly!
Posted by: Pete Seria at April 13, 2018 07:01 PM (2WfB0)

Sadly, that is a problem. PDT is not really a pubbie. PDT fights back.

Posted by: tbodie at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (ksPsw)

291 what the hell was the tire iron for?

anesthetic

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (yQpMk)

292 All threads eventually turn into genital mutilation threads.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (wPiJc)

293 Gary Shipman's so black he makes George Clinton look like Donny Osmond.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (NWiLs)

294 "Wait, people get knocked out for their vasectomies"

Sometimes they will get a kidney while they are in there.

Posted by: Carl Erban at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (UdKB7)

295 .have I ever told you about my vasectomy?

Go ahead... but then you have to read all about my hysterectomy.

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2018 06:58 PM (dUJdY)
............

Really? You people are crazy.

Posted by: Bruce Jenner at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (HgMAr)

296
I'm so black, Don Lemon can see an airliner in me.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (VM6ev)

297 Black holes call me brother. When they see me, they let me slip inside their event horizon. And damn can they cook -- I really recommend the quark soup.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (0ogQG)

298 ''Your turn Jewells. Make it quick I need a drink.''

Most are done with a DaVinci robot now. Mine was. Kind of boring.

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (jm1YL)

299 >>Do you guys get steep volume discounts on TJ surgery? No offense.

Buy 3 and get the 4th for free.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (/tuJf)

300 Scogg and Palp. actually the doc DID that! Its disturbing to see smoke waft up from your nads.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (o7tuA)

301 what the hell was the tire iron for?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (MTjB1)

don't worry your sweet lil head about it, honey chile

Posted by: votermom certified russian matryoshka bot at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (hMwEB)

302 Hopefully ace hasn't had too much Val-u-rite yet. Sarah Sanders still has the press in detention and hasn't dismissed them from manners class yet. Looks like there might be one more news item from Trump before the day is over.

Posted by: All is not as it seems at April 13, 2018 07:06 PM (iVJsK)

303 what the hell was the tire iron for?

*******

Tightening up the lug nuts.

We are still talking about vasectomies, right?

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 07:07 PM (wPiJc)

304 I liked it when Eddie Murphy told the fat guy in the cell with him that looked like Barry White that he, the fat guy, didn't know nothing about kung-fu and his bitches and his limos because he was a big Barry White looking muthafucker.

Trading Places.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 13, 2018 07:07 PM (EoRCO)

305 Is the charger any good?

Posted by: Carl Erban at April 13, 2018 07:07 PM (UdKB7)

306 Vasectomy is typically done with a local anesthetic, so no waking up mid-procedure.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM

You're obviously ignoring the stubborn ability of people with high alcohol tolerance to succumb to anesthesia.

My best recollection? The nurse saying, "That's a big one!"

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at April 13, 2018 07:07 PM (LOgQ4)

307 Gary Shipman's so black, Samuel L. Jackson hired him as a dialect coach.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 07:07 PM (NWiLs)

308 It's Friday the thirteenth! Yay, let's head out to the lake!

Posted by: Van full of teenagers at April 13, 2018 07:07 PM (gC2IV)

309 Vuvuzeulas, uvulas, and vulvas.

Posted by: 1975 black sitcom at April 13, 2018 07:04 PM (+lOpA)

And Volvos.

and velvet.

Posted by: Elvis at April 13, 2018 07:07 PM (HgMAr)

310 Really? You people are crazy.
Posted by: Bruce Jenner"

I know, huh?

Posted by: RuPaul at April 13, 2018 07:08 PM (7LY+6)

311 Worked fine yesterday. ANd I didn't drop my phone or anything

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V at April 13, 2018 07:08 PM (H80UQ)

312 ''All threads eventually turn into genital mutilation threads.''

I'm sure that says something about us but I'm not sure what it is.

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2018 07:08 PM (jm1YL)

313 "Democrats really just love listing nouns in sequence. It shows how committed they are to commas."

But not the Oxford comma, cuz that was invented by white people and as such is obviously raciss

Posted by: random ~~lurker~~ commenter at April 13, 2018 07:08 PM (oLa9K)

314 The first family tent camping trip, to Yosemite, was in winter. We were totally unprepared. There are pictures of me as a lad throwing a snowball with my bare hands. While on top of a 6 foot snow bank.

We were snowed in the next day, and hilarity ensued. Too much snow for us, fer sure.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at April

well that is fair. getting snowed on in on a family camping trip where you were expecting warm weather would be inconvenient. you still got a good story out of it though.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 07:08 PM (MTjB1)

315 >301
what the hell was the tire iron for?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 07:05 PM (MTjB1)

For gumdrop in case she wanted to contest Karl Urban.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 13, 2018 07:08 PM (8PL+d)

316 "Wait, people get knocked out for their vasectomies"

Sometimes they will get a kidney while they are in there.
==

sometimes they get a vasectomy instead of appendectomy. minor details get mixed up...

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2018 07:08 PM (bUjCl)

317 Why cant we just call each other by name?

Posted by: Rosasharn at April 13, 2018 07:09 PM (PzBTm)

318 Velveeta!

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 07:09 PM (wPiJc)

319 It's funny, I wasn't attracted to black women when I was younger. But now? Holy Hell.
Posted by: Max Power at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (q177U)

Isn't that the theme of that Jungle Fever movie? I never saw it, only heard about it. I gotta say, that title seems...surprising.

Posted by: prof disarray, gumdrop gorilla channel at April 13, 2018 07:09 PM (lAVPT)

320 Your turn Jewells. Make it quick I need a drink.

I was asleep the whole time. Don't remember a thing.

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2018 07:09 PM (dUJdY)

321 279 Wait, people get knocked out for their vasectomies?

Posted by: Moron Robbie

I prefer the term 'dead drunk'.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 13, 2018 07:09 PM (0ogQG)

322 what the hell was the tire iron for?

*******

Tightening up the lug nuts.

We are still talking about vasectomies, right?
Posted by: Muldoon at April

was somewhat concerned because the last comment I had seen from her was that she was going to rub one out.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 07:09 PM (MTjB1)

323 Gary Shipman's so black, Samuel L. Jackson hired him as a dialect coach."

Taught Lincoln O'Sirus...

Posted by: Anon a mouse at April 13, 2018 07:10 PM (7LY+6)

324 I had a great pair of hands.

Posted by: Roberta Muldoon at April 13, 2018 07:10 PM (yQpMk)

325 274, about to head to Commodores show in Peachtree City.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at April 13, 2018 07:10 PM (PUmDY)

326 I believe the word you are looking for is 'poser', possibly 'wannabee'.

In any case, the action taken should be a size 10 applied vigorously to his ass.

Posted by: Gmac-Native in exile at April 13, 2018 07:10 PM (4pjhs)

327 'Why cant we just call each other by name?'

Wouldn't that get confusing calling everybody "name"?

Posted by: f'd at April 13, 2018 07:11 PM (UdKB7)

328 I'm clearly black as hell because I think that Dash lady is hot.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at April 13, 2018 07:11 PM (ks6bw)

329 I'm going to go watch a baseball game.

As is my wont.

Endeavor to persevere!

Posted by: Muldoon at April 13, 2018 07:11 PM (wPiJc)

330 ''about to head to Commodores show in Peachtree City.''

With or without Lionel Ritchie?

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2018 07:11 PM (jm1YL)

331 you still got a good story out of it though."

Huh. So did we.

Posted by: The Donner Party at April 13, 2018 07:11 PM (7LY+6)

332 I do remember waking up, and very groggy and there was a nun standing over me. I thought I had died and gone to Heaven for a split second. lol!

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2018 07:12 PM (dUJdY)

333 Worked fine yesterday. ANd I didn't drop my phone or anything
Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V at April 13, 2018 07:08 PM (H80UQ)

Seriously, double check all connections, charger to receptacle, USB plug to charger, and adapter to phone. Same thing happened to me and it was a tiny difference in having the USB plug completely engaged.

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at April 13, 2018 07:12 PM (n9EOP)

334 325
274, about to head to Commodores show in Peachtree City.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at April 13, 2018 07:10 PM (PUmDY)

So you're black Charlie?

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 07:12 PM (o7tuA)

335 between us here, the word "honky" always makes me giggle.
first it sounds ridiculous, second and more importantly it makes me wonder, is that all you got?
Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 06:27

Well there is "cracker". A friend from further south in IL turned it around and referred to blacks as crackers. LOL

Posted by: Farmer at April 13, 2018 07:12 PM (yJ1e6)

336 Gary Shipman is so black that he doesn't "happen to be" black, he's "openly" black.

Posted by: FaCubeItches at April 13, 2018 07:12 PM (rznWS)

337 yankeefifth

True. My line is "turn a miserable outdoor experience into a good story." Got lots of stories.

If everything goes right, I have not striven to survive, and the weather was great, it's forgotten within two years.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 13, 2018 07:12 PM (hyuyC)

338 my hs gym teacher bragged about jogging home after getting snipped.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 07:12 PM (MTjB1)

339 Wouldn't that get confusing calling everybody "name"?

So, you're name's not Bruce, then? What are we going to call you?

Posted by: That Monty Python Skit at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (fuK7c)

340 With the English replacement guy. Psyched to hear Night Shift.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (PUmDY)

341 I'll sometimes use a tire iron to rub one out. If I can't find my 4 way.

Posted by: Rosie at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (UdKB7)

342 Posted by: Muldoon

I'm pretty sure when you inject an area with anesthetic and an involuntary relaxation response is invoked that the penis will rise to the occasion. So to speak.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (LOgQ4)

343 Gosh darn you, AoS commenters! I was so distracted that my steak is one level above medium rare. I actually had to put A1 on it.
And yes, I read a book when I had my vas, vas, no more kids from me.
Then frozen peas for a day.

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (lL1dI)

344 (289) If possible, pull the battery out, count to three, spin around and put it back in.

Posted by: Burger Chef at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (RuIsu)

345 I'm clearly black as hell because I think that Dash lady is hot.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at April 13, 2018 07:11 PM (ks6bw)

Don't know about that making you black, but if you don't think she's hot, you need to turn in your man card stat!

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (n9EOP)

346 I'm going to go watch a baseball game.

As is my wont.

Endeavor to persevere!

Excelsior!!!

Posted by: eleven at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (+lOpA)

347 @317: "Why cant we just call each other by name?"

Well, you never even call me by my name....

Posted by: David Allan Coe at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (rznWS)

348 279 Wait, people get knocked out for their vasectomies?

Posted by: Moron Robbie

I prefer the term 'dead drunk'.
Posted by: GnuBreed at April 13, 2018 07:09 PM (0ogQG)

I did it wrong.... or more precisely, my Doc did me wrong.

Posted by: tbodie at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (ksPsw)

349 my hs gym teacher bragged about jogging home after getting snipped."

He's nuts.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at April 13, 2018 07:13 PM (7LY+6)

350 332
I do remember waking up, and very groggy and there was a nun standing
over me. I thought I had died and gone to Heaven for a split second.
lol!

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2018 07:12 PM (dUJdY)

Lol! Yeah, i went to Catholic school there was coupla times i woke up with a nun standing over me. Caught me with a left hook.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 07:14 PM (o7tuA)

351 Well there is "cracker". A friend from further south in IL turned it around and referred to blacks as crackers. LOL
Posted by: Farmer at April

lol indeed!

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 13, 2018 07:14 PM (MTjB1)

352 It's all Shades of Grey.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at April 13, 2018 07:14 PM (PUmDY)

353 I actually had to put A1 on it.

You have A1? In your house?

*backs slowly away avoiding eye contact*

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 13, 2018 07:14 PM (yQpMk)

354 I believe Nicky Haley has done got purdier.

Posted by: dartist at April 13, 2018 07:15 PM (nisXv)

355 I got snipped. Awake ... only a local.

They finish up, nurse asks how I feel.

Without even thinking - "I dunno'. You tell me."

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 07:15 PM (FV+Yl)

356 spin around and put it back in."

PronHub?

Posted by: Anon a mouse at April 13, 2018 07:15 PM (7LY+6)

357 My brother had one kid, had a vasectomy then got divorced, he got married again to some bitch with three poodles, one blind, one deaf, the other just plain stupid, divorced again, then married a young Italian gal who wanted kids, they argued about it constantly, she went to a sperm bank, got knocked up, he divorced her ass, she had TWINS, now he's dating the chick I told you about who strums guitar and sings Chocolate Jesus.
True story.

Posted by: Elvis at April 13, 2018 07:16 PM (HgMAr)

358 355
I got snipped. Awake ... only a local.

They finish up, nurse asks how I feel.

Without even thinking - "I dunno'. You tell me."

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 07:15 PM (FV+Yl)

Scogg will be here all week. Please tip your waitress.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2018 07:16 PM (o7tuA)

359 Oops, off Elvis sock

Posted by: wth at April 13, 2018 07:16 PM (HgMAr)

360
Grab your partner by the chin
spin around and put it back in
If really like disgrace
Just try Rosie on your face

Posted by: Rosie at April 13, 2018 07:17 PM (UdKB7)

361 354 dartist

Oh no. That "Sacred Honor" dude will show up.

⏣. sets tripwire on path to Post comment ⏣

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 13, 2018 07:17 PM (hyuyC)

362 273 I have 2 left wing friends. One of whom adopted a Puerto Rican accent and the other a West Indian accent.

Probably because these 2 brothers are LITERALLY descended from Virginia slaveowners.

What's this guy hiding?

(I know, he's a Democrat: He's hiding a sexual attraction to children.)
Posted by: Oschisms at April 13, 2018 07:03 PM (Y/y3J)

One of the only conservatives I know here in California speaks with an adopted Virginia accent despite having lived here his whole life and lacking any connection to the Old Dominion State.

Posted by: Surfperch at April 13, 2018 07:18 PM (uy4Sm)

363 Nood. TL

R but not a movie review.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 13, 2018 07:19 PM (hyuyC)

364 Now do si do

Posted by: Rosie at April 13, 2018 07:19 PM (UdKB7)

365 Grump, the A1 is for when the meat is not tender and the tits are not calm.

Posted by: RI Red - that's all, folks. at April 13, 2018 07:21 PM (lL1dI)

366 Uncles? Aunties? Really?

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at April 13, 2018 07:25 PM (e1mEI)

367 I wish I was eating takeout Chinese tonight.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 13, 2018 07:27 PM (VBKy9)

368 Taylor Swift just covered Earth, Wind and Fire. Black Like Me.

Posted by: Jimmy Cagney at April 13, 2018 07:30 PM (Ndje9)

369 Gary Shipman better learn to walk backwards if he's going to step on his dick like that.

Posted by: Monty James at April 13, 2018 07:30 PM (gKOMX)

370 he's dating the chick I told you about who strums guitar and sings Chocolate Jesus.

Chocolate Jesus? Who sends that song?-never heard of it.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 13, 2018 07:35 PM (tpDAe)

371 And Thom Tillis celebrates Cinco de Mayo.

Down with La Raza.

Posted by: golfman at April 13, 2018 07:42 PM (48QDY)

372 121 Well ... not meaning to steal Duke's thunder ... but both of my kids kept their "no time in prison" streak going today.
Couldn't. Be. Prouder.
Posted by: ScoggDog at April 13, 2018 06:39 PM (Pblpu)

White privilege.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 13, 2018 06:45

Insom, I think that makes you a racist, or is it anti-racist. I'm cornfused these days.

And Congrats to ScoggDog, you did a great job raising your ScoogPups. May the trend continue.

Posted by: Farmer at April 13, 2018 08:16 PM (yJ1e6)

373 Race hustling
Can you dig it?

(Yeah, everybody else did too but I had to get that in.)

Posted by: joncelli, going phalangist at April 13, 2018 08:18 PM (1FhAQ)

374 Didn't someone here report a while back that some CNN dolt referred to black Britons as British African Americans?
Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V sez don't you dare walk the damn pitcher at April 13, 2018 06:57

IIRC it's worse than that. Brit blacks were referred to simply as African-Americans! People who had never set foot in the US. Yay for our journalistic "betters".

Posted by: Farmer at April 13, 2018 08:37 PM (yJ1e6)

375 Don't we ALL meet the Warren Standard of ethnicity? Me, I'm a strong, proud African-Asian LGBTQWERTY trans woman.

And I'm also Marie of Roumania.

Posted by: George LeS at April 13, 2018 08:46 PM (+TcCF)

376 A great many of my friends in Vietnam were black dudes, so I'm familiar with the lingo--you misspelled the key word. It's honkie, not honky. And, on a similar topic, it's hippie, not hippy, which is a large person with big hips. Just sayin'. . . .

Posted by: FIIGMO at April 13, 2018 10:28 PM (E+qJE)

377 Plus, I've seen and love Fear of the Black Hat, which may be the funniest "mockumentary" movie since This is Spinal Tap. Check it out, honkies. . . .

Posted by: FIIGMO at April 13, 2018 10:32 PM (E+qJE)

378 People who eschew mayonnaise are more likely to be American.

Posted by: Lisl at April 14, 2018 03:09 AM (OAB5z)

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