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...You Might Be A Democrat

If you're more offended that Donald Trump once said the word 'pussy' than BIll Clinton getting blow jobs in the Oval Office by a 21-year old intern...

If you can listen to Madonna, Miley Cyrus, and Lady Gaga complain about how Trump degrades women and not burst out laughing...

If you think a person's gender is fluid but sexual preference is permanently fixed...

If you're against the death penalty but are OK with abortion...

If you think the NY Times is biased in favor of conservatives...

If you believe Russians hacked the election, but there's no need to investigate the possibility of voter fraud...

If you believe Russians hacked the election, but have no problem with the Clintons making deals to sell American uranium to Russian oligarchs...

If you believe shouting down conservative speakers is 'free speech'...

If you believe throwing rocks at police officers and breaking windows is 'free speech'...

If you believe that the Palestinians are entitled to a homeland, but the Israelis aren't...

If you punch someone in the face while you're wearing a "Love Trumps Hate" T-shirt...

If you want the government out of your bedroom while demanding free birth control...

If you can voice your presidential assassination fantasies in public without fear of consequences...

If you demand to be taken seriously while dressed up in a twat costume...

...you might be a Democrat!

(h/t Jeff Foxworthy)


[Update:]

I'll put some of the good contributions here:

If you think Lena Dunham is attractive but Melania Trump is not...
(h/t SMFH)

if you want to ban tobacco and legalize marijuana
(h/t duncan)

...if you think requiring ID is racist, but thinking blacks are too stupid and incompetent to attain any ID is not.
...if you think dressing up as a ghost and disarming blacks to keep them from voting was done by Republicans
...if you think every man is a rapist, but if he puts on a dress your daughter is perfectly safe with him in a locker room
(h/t Chris Taylor)

If you are 100% comfortable taking away crazy peoples' firearms but not their right to vote.
If you still don't know how you get more Trump.
(h/t Moron Robbie)

If you think free healthcare is free.
(h/t Sebastian Melmoth)

if you believe your right is to have the govt steal from everyone around you to give You neat stuff for free.
(h/t willow)

If you believe Islam is a religion of peace, but Christians are intolerant hatey haters.
(h/t Jane D'oh)

If you think a college graduate with a BA degree and a major in Women's Studies should receive a starting salary of $100,000 a year
(h/t mrp)

If you believe your actual violence is protected free speech but my protected free speech is actual violence.
(h/t Flyboy)

If you think THIS TIME you have Trump.
If you think Hillary Clinton winning the popular vote means something.
If you think Hillary Clinton might someday still be president.
If you think the message of the future is Shut The Fuck Up Whitey.
(h/t JackStraw)

If you believe that cops are mostly corrupt and violent and racist, but you also believe that they're the only people who should be allowed to have guns...
If you love to gloat about how "dumb" Americans are, while insisting that our public school system is perfect and can't be improved (except by throwing more money at it)...
(h/t Prothonotary Warbler)

If you think "piss Christ" is an important artistic achievement, but "piss Mohamed" is a hate crime, you might be a Democrat.
(h/t Dave_in_fla)

If you voted for Ted Kennedy every time he ran, but wouldn't vote for Trump because he said pussy, you might just be a Democrat.
(h/t Tammy al-Thor)

If you think reading the Bible in school violates the First Amendement but not inviting imams to get school kids to recite the shahada.
(h/t Insomniac)

If you think kids can decide what gender they'll be, but won't let them decide what do eat for lunch
(h/t josephistan)

Open Thread ...and add your own!

Posted by: OregonMuse at 08:08 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 First!

Posted by: Weasel at January 26, 2017 08:07 PM (Sfs6o)

2 Ha! SO first!

Posted by: Weasel at January 26, 2017 08:07 PM (Sfs6o)

3 Not a Democrat!

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity woman extraordinary) at January 26, 2017 08:08 PM (yTnCT)

4 First-ers have to fetch the troops. Right?

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity woman extraordinary) at January 26, 2017 08:09 PM (yTnCT)

5 I was almost first but I didn't have a blessed thing of consequence to say. Except that I'm clearly not a Democrat.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 26, 2017 08:09 PM (hJrjt)

6 Well done, OM. Well done indeed.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 08:10 PM (0mRoj)

7 Nice list!

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:11 PM (CRotO)

8 4 First-ers have to fetch the troops. Right?
Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity woman extraordinary) at January 26, 2017 08:09 PM (yTnCT)
--------
Done.

Posted by: Weasel at January 26, 2017 08:11 PM (Sfs6o)

9 if you want to ban tobacco and legalize marijuana

Posted by: duncan at January 26, 2017 08:11 PM (XKLkE)

10 It's important to declare yourself as not a Democrat. It's like making sure people really know you aren't a delusional jackass. That's very important.

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity woman extraordinary) at January 26, 2017 08:11 PM (yTnCT)

11 So...any democrats here?

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:11 PM (CRotO)

12 I've got nothing.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:12 PM (0Veb5)

13 Guess I'm not a Democrat. Heh.

Posted by: IC at January 26, 2017 08:12 PM (gcme+)

14 Beautiful. Very nice explication of The Hypocrisies.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 26, 2017 08:12 PM (EZebt)

15 #9 good one

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at January 26, 2017 08:12 PM (MCOBY)

16 if u oppose the death penalty but want free abortions

Posted by: duncan at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (XKLkE)

17 ...If you believe there are "palestinians"

Posted by: Batterup at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (mtGE/)

18 If you bleed all over your sheets because you practice no hygiene and are deranged, you are for shit sure a democrat. And, a fucking slob.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (KP5rU)

19 Democrats are weak. Low energy. Not winners.

Posted by: Weasel at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (Sfs6o)

20 But I live in enemy territory so I pretend to be a pseudo democrat aka stealth conservative

Posted by: IC at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (gcme+)

21 If you think Lena Dunham represents all women.

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (CRotO)

22 If you believe a $4,000 used car loan is paid back with magical monthly payments that can't in any way possibly be applied to a $4,000 hospital bill.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (Halhc)

23 Remember the bumper stickers: Not a Republican?

"I may be many things, but at least I'm not the worst thing on earth: a Republican."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (0Veb5)

24 If you're secretary of the treasury and owe back taxes you might be a democrat

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (voOPb)

25 If you're offended by President Trump saying pussy, but you voted for a woman that attacked other women for accusing her husband of raping or sexually abusing them...you have got to be a Democrat.

Posted by: Tucker Carlson's Book of Untruths at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (8xRW9)

26 If you think an unborn child has no rights, but are willing to cut off the water supply to a large portion of the country's food producers to save a minute fish, you might just be a Democrat.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (kqtMD)

27 If you're making really shitty movies....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (qUNWi)

28 NDH, I don't think Queen Elizabeth gave up her corgis altogether. I believe she is not getting any new ones because she is too old for puppies .

Posted by: fluffy at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (jw2Xw)

29 If you weep over the loss of 'indigenous' languages and cultures, and beat off to the idea of the West dying...

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (DNPz2)

30 If you think a person's gender is fluid but sexual preference is permanently fixed...

--------------

I must be crazy because I always thought you were either male or female and that could be proven with DNA.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (qgUJH)

31 If you believe that a tax on soda will reduce consumption, but a tax on income will have no effect.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (0Veb5)

32 Well, really the list is perfect.... so now we can talk about atomic shadenboners, boobs, books, guns, food, whatever.

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity woman extraordinary) at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (yTnCT)

33 ... If you believe Kermit Gosnell was/is the only one

Posted by: Batterup at January 26, 2017 08:15 PM (mtGE/)

34 If you think checking ID to board a flight is fine, but checking ID to vote is "suppressing the vote."

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 26, 2017 08:15 PM (EZebt)

35 Two of my favorite Foxworthys:

You might be a redneck if...

Your grandmother has gotten into a fistfight at a high school basketball game.

You've worn a tube top to a wedding.

Posted by: Mathers at January 26, 2017 08:15 PM (3myMJ)

36 If you bitch and moan about climate change but fly your private jet to a conference on global warming.

Posted by: Tuna at January 26, 2017 08:15 PM (JSovD)

37 "a-mah NAAA AAA AAA STY wuh mun"

I laugh every. single. time.



I do pity Winona and Naomi though.

Holidays must be hell.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:15 PM (Gv7El)

38 If you kill a woman in an Oldsmobile and still hold your senate seat, you might be a democrat

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 26, 2017 08:15 PM (voOPb)

39 17 ...If you believe there are "palestinians"
Posted by: Batterup at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (mtGE/)

Didn't that mean Jew for about 2000 years?

Posted by: Burnt Toast at January 26, 2017 08:15 PM (P/kVC)

40 I can't decide which of these is more accurate:

Demoncrats or Doomocrats

Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (Om16U)

41 If you make a bazillion dollars making movies or singing and are outraged by "income inequality"...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (qJhUV)

42 If you think a gun owner in the mountains of deeply-rural North Carolina has identical "needs" to a gun owner in Arizona, much less Los Angeles.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (Halhc)

43 30
I must be crazy because I always thought you were either male or female and that could be proven with DNA.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (qgUJH)

===================

"I just can't even. You, sir, are worse than Hitler."
-Very smart college student who's struggling with their core classes but acing that gender studies course

*aside*
"Hey...Hitler was the Russian guy, right?"
-Same, to her friend with spiky green hair

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (0Veb5)

44 You've worn a tube top to a wedding.
Posted by: Mathers at January 26, 2017 08:15 PM (3myMJ)

---

How about a football jersey?

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (CRotO)

45 If you believe a $4,000 used car loan is paid back with magical monthly payments that can't in any way possibly be applied to a $4,000 hospital bill.
Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:13 PM (Halhc)
-------------

For real.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (qgUJH)

46
President Trump needs a presidential dog!

Or, even better, ...

a presidential Eagle!

that perches on his shoulder...

and pecks out the eyes of idiots when they say stupid things in the White House.

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (2Glrq)

47 If you promise to leave the country if your candidate loses an election. And don't...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (qJhUV)

48 If you believe that a tax on soda will reduce consumption, but a tax on income will have no effect.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (0Veb5)

----------

If you think carbon taxes will reduce production but think doubling the minimum wage won't effect employment.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (qgUJH)

49 ...If you think every firearm is an AR-15, including a pop-tart

Posted by: Batterup at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (mtGE/)

50 If you believe Russians hacked the election, but there's no need to investigate the possibility of voter fraud...

That's my favorite. The Russians totally hacked the election, but voter fraud is just a right-wing conspiracy theory.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (sdi6R)

51 I'm not even sure I can call them democrats. They may be using the name, but they are not democrats. yeah, I mean the dems even in sane times blew ass, but this group isn't even recognizable as American.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (aMlLZ)

52 If you think Hydrox is better than Oreos.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (J8/9G)

53 Who is this Jeff Foxworthy person?

Posted by: R. Kipling at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (JBggj)

54 If everyone and everything that you don't like is 'literally Hitler'.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (Gv7El)

55 Here's your sign.

Posted by: Max Power at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (/5NmO)

56 You might be Democrat, if you believe the President rolls around in Cheeto dust.

You might be insane, too.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....unfrozen caveman moron at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (S6Pax)

57 if u think Iran should have nukes but the USA should not

this list is never ending,,,,,,the hypocrisy never ends

Posted by: duncan at January 26, 2017 08:18 PM (XKLkE)

58 If you think that 2016 was the hottest year ever.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 26, 2017 08:18 PM (/tuJf)

59 If you judge people by the color of their skin rather than the content of their character ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 08:18 PM (mt8X9)

60 52 If you think Hydrox is better than Oreos.
Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (J8/9G)

---

*ducks*

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:18 PM (CRotO)

61 48 If you think carbon taxes will reduce production but think doubling the minimum wage won't effect employment.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (qgUJH)

=================

If you think Mitt Romney using legal means to decrease his tax liability is the devil while at the same time using tax software to save every penny from your own.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:18 PM (0Veb5)

62 You might be a Democrat

If you think free healthcare is free.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:18 PM (IDPbH)

63 If you are always "literally shaking"...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:18 PM (qJhUV)

64 53 Who is this Jeff Foxworthy person?

Posted by: R. Kipling at January 26, 2017 08:17 PM (JBggj)

=================

You might not be a redneck ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 08:19 PM (mt8X9)

65
After whatever reduction occurs at the EPA -- and hopefully it is 100% -- immediately announce that its HQ is moving to the banks of the river in Colorado that their negligence trashed a year or two ago and mandate that their potable water supplyvwill be drawn from that river.

Perhaps if they have a personal stake in the outcome of their incompetence they might take a little more care to see that they actually pay attention to what they're doing.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 08:19 PM (G03UX)

66 If you own anything with Obama's arrogant face on it.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:19 PM (Gv7El)

67 You might be a Democrat if you believe that Gabby Giffords being shot was a terrible tragedy and don't even know who Judge John Rolle was.

You might be a Democrat. Yup.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....unfrozen caveman moron at January 26, 2017 08:19 PM (S6Pax)

68 "I just can't even. You, sir, are worse than Hitler."
-Very smart college student who's struggling with their core classes but acing that gender studies course

*aside*
"Hey...Hitler was the Russian guy, right?"
-Same, to her friend with spiky green hair
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (0Veb5)
-------------

People like that are why you should need a license to bring up Hitler in a conversation.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:19 PM (qgUJH)

69 If you think that someone else's time and service should be given to you for free, you might be a slaveholder...or a democrat advocating for free healthcare.

Doesn't matter which.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:19 PM (0Veb5)

70 I must be crazy because I always thought you were either male or female and that could be proven with DNA.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (qgUJH)


How regressive. Haven't you heard? Gender is a social construct.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at January 26, 2017 08:19 PM (MCOBY)

71 If you believe my 2017 Camry should have an emissions test while exempting all the belching hoopties that were built before 1996.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:20 PM (Halhc)

72 If you protest a thug getting gunned down after beating the crap out of a cop, but not a peep on black-on-black shootings, you're a demoncrat.

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:20 PM (CRotO)

73 If you face plant in the street in New York City and get tossed in your van like a sack of beets...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:20 PM (qJhUV)

74 How about a football jersey?
Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (CRotO)


Ooooh, yeah.

Posted by: Mathers at January 26, 2017 08:21 PM (3myMJ)

75 Carrots. Just carrots.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:21 PM (Halhc)

76 If you had told me 20 years ago that socialists would hijack the environmental movement and join forces with economic globalists and tranny obsessed social justice warriors and they would form some kind of freak show coalition that would almost succeed I would have told you that makes no damn sense. That's not even wrong.

Posted by: Max Power at January 26, 2017 08:21 PM (/5NmO)

77 If you think Mitt Romney using legal means to decrease his tax liability is the devil while at the same time using tax software to save every penny from your own.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:18 PM (0Veb5)
------------

Taking your $2000 tax return when you only 'paid' $500 in taxes that year.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:21 PM (qgUJH)

78 If you have ever used the word " sustainable " in a conversation about food.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:21 PM (Gv7El)

79
If you demand government stay out of your bedroom but your heartily endorse each and every private parts waving "gender" demanding everyone's unconditional acceptance...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 08:22 PM (G03UX)

80 If you think that a small chain of restaurants must display caloric content in every item on the menu, but the nice French restaurant that uses more butter than Julia Child's wet dream shouldn't because it's healthy, you might be a limousine liberal

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:22 PM (0Veb5)

81 How regressive. Haven't you heard? Gender is a social construct.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at January 26, 2017 08:19 PM (MCOBY)
---------------------

YOU'RE A SOCIAL CONTRACT!!!1

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:22 PM (qgUJH)

82 ...if you think Trump is a warmonger and Obama deserved the peace prize


...if you think Executive Orders are great until a Republican takes office.

...if you think requiring ID is racist, but thinking blacks are too stupid and incompetent to attain any ID is not.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:22 PM (39g3+)

83 "President Trump needs a presidential dog! "

No, he needs a damn sneaky cat that will sink is claws into any reporter thinks he's smarter than the president

Posted by: Tuna at January 26, 2017 08:22 PM (JSovD)

84 41 If you make a bazillion dollars making movies or singing and are outraged by "income inequality"...
Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (qJhUV)

If you are a rich person who says taxes should be higher, but you pay an Accountant to make sure you pay as little as possible in taxes...

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Gluten Free Souls at January 26, 2017 08:22 PM (a3sfz)

85 If you talk about "Clean Energy" without laughing.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (Gv7El)

86 ...if you think dressing up as a ghost and disarming blacks to keep them from voting was done by Republicans

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (39g3+)

87 82 ...if you think requiring ID is racist, but thinking blacks are too stupid and incompetent to attain any ID is not.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:22 PM (39g3+)

====================

If you think blacks can't get into college without aid from government.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (0Veb5)

88 If you think skull tampons are a fashion accessory. Or, if you think madcow is female.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (KP5rU)

89 You might be a Democrat if you believe an abortion is a choice but safe sex is not.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (SEXy3)

90 If you think NPR is too conservative, you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: GuyfromNH at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (5zfq1)

91 If you want a free Tibet, but are unwilling to do anything that would free Tibet.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (kTF2Z)

92 If you think every deplorable should pay an extra penny per ounce for sugary drink sodas(even diet) but would lose your shit if they taxed your PRECIOUS STARBUCKS LATTE.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (qgUJH)

93 President Trump should get a presidential lion and train him to sniff out microphones.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (39g3+)

94 If you are 100% comfortable taking away crazy peoples' firearms but not their right to vote.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (Halhc)

95 If you bleed all over your sheets because you practice no hygiene

Still wondering what the political angle there was supposed to be. Was menstruation imposed by Eisenhower after the war, or something like that?

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (4bKiB)

96 if u think spending 15 billion on a border wall is a waste but a plane load of cash to Iran is awesome......

Posted by: duncan at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (XKLkE)

97
Should we save this for the next Pet Threat?

What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (2Glrq)

98 If you want to burn the flag and shout down conservative speakers and then discuss Fahrenheit 451 and be outraged at the burning of books.

Posted by: BrianINNC at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (+Y0h2)

99 If you think gender is fluid but race is destiny.

Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (Om16U)

100 If you think ignoring federal law and protecting illegal felons at the expense of your fellow citizen is righteous, you might just be a Democrat. And an idiot.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (/tuJf)

101 You Might Be A Democrat


If you don't think...

Posted by: Tami at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (Enq6K)

102 If you take a private jet to go back and forth to your home the same day to attend a party after giving a speech on the evil's of man made climate change.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (IDPbH)

103 If you believe making a bayonet lug on a rifle illegal will protect your silly ass during colander facemask world, you're a democrat.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (aMlLZ)

104 If you think Republicans and Democrats switched parties in the 60s.

If you believe the above, but never question why Democrats love FDR while Republicans hate him, and Republicans love Coolidge but Democrats hate him.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (0Veb5)

105 ...if you think people who retaliate against constant rocket bombardment and terrorist attacks on children are aggressors

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (39g3+)

106 What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?
Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (2Glrq)

---

A Rottweiler.

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (CRotO)

107 >>> No, he needs a damn sneaky cat that will sink is claws into any reporter thinks he's smarter than the president

Ha ha!

We have a couple here that could fit the bill.

Posted by: fluffy at January 26, 2017 08:25 PM (jw2Xw)

108 If you believe college should be cheaper and easier to get in to.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:25 PM (Halhc)

109 If you believe in policies so extravagant they demand their cost be spread over succeeding generations, but also believe in population control...

Posted by: BuddyPC at January 26, 2017 08:25 PM (N/A90)

110 If you think Che wouldn't have gladly shot you right in the fucking face...

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:25 PM (qgUJH)

111 If your favorite President, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, fought against the type of people you have become in 2017.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 26, 2017 08:25 PM (5VlCp)

112 ...if you think National Socialists weren't socialist

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (39g3+)

113 You complain about sexist, misogynist behavior and then offer blow jobs for Hillary votes.

Posted by: Old Hag Madonna at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (QVQ/e)

114 If you have thought and said for years that 'A tyranny of the majority' is morally unconscionable, and yet complain about the Electoral College.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (NBHj5)

115 Oh, and if you believe MORE people should be going to college.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (Halhc)

116
What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?

==

Honey badger

Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (Om16U)

117 democrat if you believe most men are the worst of humanity ,misogynist , mean rapists yet want them to pay for all your free stuff.
because responsible women.
grown ups.

a progressive woman if you scream about it not being anybodies business whats under our skirts while wearing vagina suits.

believe you are held down in the western world while closing your eyes to actual woman being considered insignificant humanity in many countries across the world.
which includes actual stoning, killings for being raped, being considered property. and SUPPORTING religions that actually do this to their wives, mothers and daughters!

Posted by: willow at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (R7cwD)

118
Not for anything, men shit their pants all the time.

It's not foreign to men have crap coming out of orifices in their bodies, is what I'm saying. But Leftists know this, of course.

This whole women bleeding thing is Leftist Bullshit that they don't even believe.

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (2Glrq)

119 IF YOU THINK TRUMP WILL THROW US ALL IN THE CAMPS...

Posted by: The Hysterical Sally Kohn at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (qJhUV)

120 If you think it was Republicans that kept race relationship back in the early 20th century. (*cough* Woodrow *cough)

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (0Veb5)

121 Borzoi or a Standard Poodle

Posted by: lindafell no longer in de spair at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (JNDQi)

122
If you think life in Cuba is better than the US

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (auHtY)

123 If you think that FDR's economic policies shortened the Depression

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (NBHj5)

124 If you think that wearing a pussy hat, marching and screeching makes you anything other than ridiculous.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (Gv7El)

125 >>> What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?

An anteater, because Fuck you!

Posted by: fluffy at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (jw2Xw)

126 97
Should we save this for the next Pet Threat?

What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?
Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (2Glrq)
--------
One that can at least intimidate squirrels.

Posted by: Weasel at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (Sfs6o)

127 If you believe in a living constitution dictated by learned judges but scream about Citizen's United and Heller.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (0Veb5)

128 If you take a private jet to go back and forth to your home the same day to attend a party after giving a speech on the evil's of man made climate change.

Democratic carbon dioxide is sweet smelling and makes plants grow.

Republican carbon dioxide is stinky and makes ocean levels rise.

There is no such thing as Chinese carbon dioxide.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (J8/9G)

129 If you buy your son dolls and your daughter Tonka trucks......

Posted by: Mark1971 at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (gdnq1)

130 The price of ammo continues to drop. I'm exhausted from the winning.

Here's SGAmmo selling below cost.

http://bit.ly/2kyMXUP

Posted by: Grump928(C) at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (dpH/N)

131 and pecks out the eyes of idiots when they say stupid things in the White House.

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:16 PM (2Glrq)

=====================

MY EYES, MY EYES ... WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY EYES?!?!?

Posted by: Jonathan Karl at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (mt8X9)

132 If you think The Great Society wasn't the most racist policy since slavery...

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (qgUJH)

133 If you believe Colorado is awesome, dude, but North Carolina is obviously nothing but a bunch of tranny haters.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (Halhc)

134 Meet Patton the Goldendoodle. Will he become Trump's first dog?




http://tinyurl.com/h2dftet


Posted by: Tami at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (Enq6K)

135 95; I though that fucking Nixon did it. No wonder he came up with yhe EPA. Hallways need shittin in,yo!

Posted by: chavez the hugo at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (KP5rU)

136 If you voted for a $15 an hour minimum wage then can't figure out why your favorite restaurant closed down...

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (0mRoj)

137 132 If you think The Great Society wasn't the most racist policy since slavery...
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (qgUJH)

=====================

If you think the Great Society had any good effects.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (0Veb5)

138 you might be dem if you like the constitution and peoples rights ONLY when you are out of power.

otherwise an old flowing document to be ignored

Posted by: willow at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (R7cwD)

139 129 If you buy your son dolls and your daughter Tonka trucks......
Posted by: Mark1971 at January 26, 2017 08:27 PM (gdnq1)

---

How about GI Joe dolls and Tonka trucks for both?

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (CRotO)

140
If you think that Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (auHtY)

141 If you are gay or a woman and want to increase immigration from Muslim terrorist countries ...

Posted by: JackStraw at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (/tuJf)

142 ...if you think murdering and raping women isn't as bad as talking crudly about them (Kennedy vs Trump()

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (39g3+)

143 What type of dog?

A good old American mutt straight off the streets.

Posted by: Tuna at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (JSovD)

144 99 If you think gender is fluid but race is destiny.
Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM ====

The idea that race is destiny is one of the founding principles of National Socialism, and as you point out eloquently, the Democratic Party too.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (EZebt)

145 What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?
==
Honey badger
Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 08:26 PM (Om16U)

A Rhodesian Ridgeback...good for keeping lions and people at bay.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (5VlCp)

146 136 If you voted for a $15 an hour minimum wage then can't figure out why your favorite restaurant closed down...
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (0mRoj)

====================

"I so do know! It's greedy capitalists!"
-Very smart college student who's struggling with their core classes but acing that gender studies course

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (0Veb5)

147 ...if you think the SCOTUS has the final word on everything until it disagrees with you.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (39g3+)

148 If you think the best way to solve a problem is to wear so many multi-colored ribbon pins that you look like a third world dictator on parade day...you might be a democrat.

Posted by: Orson at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (+Erj2)

149 If you think that men using the girls room is a 'right'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 26, 2017 08:29 PM (NBHj5)

150 Borzoi or a Standard Poodle

Can help with the first. Even Big Dumb Dan is smarter than most White House correspondents.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:30 PM (J8/9G)

151 If any kind of "art" is free expression, but only if it's created through government subsidies...

Posted by: iwuzhere at January 26, 2017 08:30 PM (GRNzr)

152 What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (2Glrq)

He should get a wolf. A white one. With a bad attitude.

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:30 PM (qJhUV)

153 If you are wearing a diaper pin on your lapel.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 26, 2017 08:30 PM (NBHj5)

154 If you buy your son dolls and your daughter Tonka trucks......

Hoo-boy, that one hits a little bit close to home.

My formerly-normal sister had her four-year-old son wearing an Elsa dress over Christmas. Because gender-specific clothing is... [at which point in her story everybody tuned out to start giving each other significant glances].

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at January 26, 2017 08:30 PM (4bKiB)

155 If you think the Great Society had any good effects.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:28 PM (0Veb5)

--------------

It directly destroyed the progress of minorities in this country.

Johnson can eat every bit of my shit in hell.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:30 PM (qgUJH)

156 If you think that race-based college admissions are not the very definition of racism.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:30 PM (Gv7El)

157 If you think a college graduate with a BA degree and a major in Women's Studies should receive a starting salary of $100,000 a year

Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 08:31 PM (JBggj)

158 If you believe your actual violence is protected free speech but my protected free speech is actual violence.

Posted by: Flyboy at January 26, 2017 08:31 PM (UHquB)

159 If you think foam earplugs might be rubber bullets.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 26, 2017 08:31 PM (NBHj5)

160 ...if you demand "clean food" but can't be bothered to bathe regularly, then you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: squeakywheel at January 26, 2017 08:31 PM (fce+O)

161 Kodos,
You're in Texas, correct?

Posted by: lindafell no longer in de spair at January 26, 2017 08:31 PM (JNDQi)

162 155 It directly destroyed the progress of minorities in this country.

Johnson can eat every bit of my shit in hell.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:30 PM (qgUJH)

==================

Well, to be honest, helping blacks wasn't his goal. Getting them to vote Democrat was.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:31 PM (0Veb5)

163 If you believe Islam is a religion of peace, but Christians are intolerant hatey haters.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2017 08:31 PM (PY9jH)

164 If you believe that taxes ought to be higher, but fail to voluntarily pay more yourself.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (NBHj5)

165 If the 20K Dow suddenly doesn't mean the same as the 19K Dow a little while ago, your eyes are now open to the bleak job market and employment participation, and the homeless have once again become visible through your car windshield.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (Halhc)

166 if you believe your right is to havbe the govt steal from everyone around you to give You neat stuff for free.

Posted by: willow at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (R7cwD)

167 If you believe the ends justify the means .

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (IDPbH)

168 If you think your six year old is transgendered...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (qJhUV)

169 Correct. Brazoria County.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (J8/9G)

170 97
Should we save this for the next Pet Threat?

What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?
Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (2Glrq)


I think he should get a bear.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (sdi6R)

171 If you denounce "rape culture" in the United States but have nothing to say about human sex trafficking in the Middle East...

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (0mRoj)

172 If you think men get their razors for free...

Posted by: Rob Crawford at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (fVubI)

173 You pollute the culture with your exploitative, narcissistic trash and then forbid your own children from watching television.

Posted by: Old Hag Madonna at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (QVQ/e)

174 If you really think talking about menstruation, pussies, and tampons enderars you to your cause. Peeeeeenisssssss!

Posted by: chavez the hugo at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (KP5rU)

175 If you decry the rape culture, while parading naked through the streets, you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: Dave_in_fla at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (wfDW1)

176 I don't picture Trump as a pet person. Too busy.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (PY9jH)

177 If you believe wanting to keep money you earned is greed but wanting to force other people to give you money through force of government is charity.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (0Veb5)

178 ...if you think every man is a rapist, but if he puts on a dress your daughter is perfectly safe with him in a locker room

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (39g3+)

179 If you think men get their razors for free...

Posted by: Rob Crawford at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (fVubI)

Or, if you think razors are only for men....

Posted by: Mark1971 at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (gdnq1)

180
If you made the Cover Girl commercial with the queer guy wearing makeup and the Muzzie in the head garb and call it equality

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (auHtY)

181 If you're born a man but call yourself a woman, but can't change the color of your skin no matter how much you insist you can (Rachel Dolezal)...

Posted by: iwuzhere at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (GRNzr)

182 Mark Steyn hosted for Rush today and labeled MEXICO'S POTUS PRESIDENT PINATA.. MADE ME CHUCKLE

Posted by: Voter dude at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (UMBaD)

183 I think he should get a bear.
Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 08:32 PM (sdi6R)

---

I agree.

Posted by: Zombie Teddy Roosevelt at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (CRotO)

184
If you claim that you are "woke" in the presence of your acquaintences and no one jams a fist into your face...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (G03UX)

185 I thought there was no question of what pet Trump should get.

A big orange Tabby of course.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (IDPbH)

186 Off to check out the EMT
In case you missed it I'm sorry, NDH. It was the mid-morning Art Thread not the EMT where the Chili's franchisee thing was discussed.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (lJXY3)

187 What ever kind of dog he may get it should be an unneutered male with huge cajoles.


Posted by: Tuna at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (JSovD)

188 If you think Rush Limbaugh is as powerful as all the new networks combined, but you don't know anyone who actually listens to him...

If you believe that cops are mostly corrupt and violent and racist, but you also believe that they're the only people who should be allowed to have guns...

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (0OG8D)

189 If you believe that you have ever eaten a "free lunch".

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (Gv7El)

190 Kodos,
Do you breed, show, and handle your own dogs?

Posted by: lindafell no longer in de spair at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (JNDQi)

191
Tami, that goldendoodle is interesting. It looks like a shammy (chamois) cloth.

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (2Glrq)

192 What kind of dog for Trump?
He should go to the humane society shelter and pick out the saddest looking mutt they have. Just rescue a dog that may be condemned and not worry about breeding.

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity woman extraordinary) at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (yTnCT)

193 If you believe walls are useless but have a lock on your front door.

If you believe oil is bad and Tweet about it on your phone.

Posted by: all doubt removed at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (Z+wR7)

194 If you think THIS TIME you have Trump.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (/tuJf)

195 Netflix added Bill Maher's idiotic "Religulous" fauxumentary to the list. Average rating from viewers? 1 star.

Its just idiotic.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (39g3+)

196 I think he should get a bear."

"The bear is loose!!1!"

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (J8/9G)

197 I could picture Trump with a pet panther, like the Most Interesting Man in the World commercial.

And I could totally picture him swatting the hell out of it for jumping on the Resolute desk.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (PY9jH)

198 If you Love Science Sexually, but think a person with a penis can be a woman...

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (7qAYi)

199 What Kind Of Dog Should President Trump Get?

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:24 PM (2Glrq)

===============

You're way behind the curve, son ...

A MAD DOG!

Posted by: General Mattis at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (mt8X9)

200 If you think 1/20/17 was a scarier day than 9/11/01...

Posted by: iwuzhere at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (GRNzr)

201 You might be a Democrat if you can cite the lyrics to Hamilton but have no idea what the Federalist Papers are.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (SEXy3)

202
He should get a wolf. A white one.

A game of thrones dire-wolf?

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (2Glrq)

203 If you think 22 year old drunk, horny frat-boys embody the worst of male sexuality, but think women are sex-positive by...acting like 22 year old drunk, horny frat-boys.

Posted by: J. Random Dude at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (C9lNt)

204 if you believe You have the right to tell others to shut their mouth (global warmingobamacare-etc) by threat of govt, but cry when the govt you let have power looks at you.

when in minority party you are terrified of the govt but when in majority you Yugely increase govts power.

Posted by: willow at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (R7cwD)

205 You intentionally try to knit hats that look like female genitalia to wear when you meet with fellow like-minded pussy-hatters immediately after trying hard to slut-shame a professional model who posed topless years ago simply because she disagrees with you politically.

(And is gorgeous, of course.)

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (Halhc)

206 If you believe that cops are mostly corrupt and violent and racist, but you also believe that they're the only people who should be allowed to have guns...



Bravo.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (dpH/N)

207 Listing Lewinsky at an example of Bill Clinton's history of sexual abuse belittles the many women he allegedly raped.

A chapter in Christopher Hitchens' book NO ONE LEFT TO LIE TO is titled IS THERE A RAPIST IN THE OVAL OFFICE?

He concludes the chapter on Juanita Broaddrick's and other women's allegations of rape this way:

"What are the chances that three socially and personally respectable women, all three of them political supporters of Mr. Clinton and none of them known to each other, would confect or invent almost identical experience which they did not desire to make public. And how possible would it be for a network of anti-Clinton rumor-mongers to create, let alone ventilate, such a coincidence? The odds that any of these ladies is lying seem to me to approach zero; their reasons for reticence are all perfectly intelligible."

Posted by: hepcat at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (5b+Sr)

208 So many good ones... I can't keep up.

You guys rock!

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (MCOBY)

209 Well, to be honest, helping blacks wasn't his goal. Getting them to vote Democrat was.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:31 PM (0Veb5)
---------------

"I'll have this N***ers voting Democrat for 200 years." - Lyndon Johnson

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (qgUJH)

210 If you plan to "Resist" on your new account on "Rogue Twitter".

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (Gv7El)

211
If you believe that our system of government is a democracy and not a democratic republic...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (G03UX)

212 LMFAO at the drive thru robot prank video (sidebar).

Posted by: AshevilleRobert at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (w+Jhj)

213 This happened today:

Trump: "I'm talking to the Prime Minister tomorrow, going to be talking about trade. I don't have a Commerce Secretary, he hasn't been confirmed. So I'll have to do it myself."

Laughter from the Republican congresscritters in Philadelphia.

Democrats, if they knew what was good for them, would be going "Oh, shit!"

Posted by: filbert at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (s5o+q)

214 ITS FUNNY CUZ DEMOCRATS ARE DUMBASSES!

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBURGER at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (kTF2Z)

215 ...if you think every man is a rapist, but if he puts on a dress your daughter is perfectly safe with him in a locker room
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (39g3+)
---------
THIS IS EXACTLY PERFECT.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (qgUJH)

216 If you still don't know how you get more Trump.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (Halhc)

217 If you think a celebrity's opinion is more important than your neighbor's opinion.

Posted by: wilbeforce at January 26, 2017 08:36 PM (9CvIS)

218 Trump should get a chihuahua just to troll the Mexicans.

Posted by: Mark1971 at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (gdnq1)

219 If you think "piss Christ" is an important artistic achievement, but "piss Mohamed" is a hate crime, you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: Dave_in_fla at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (wfDW1)

220 185 I thought there was no question of what pet Trump should get.

A big orange Tabby of course.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (IDPbH)


Nah, a cat the same color as his hair, whatever that color is.

He should hold it in his lap and stroke it during his speeches.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (sdi6R)

221 Trump needs a miniature giraffe.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (dpH/N)

222 If you think NPR is too conservative, you might be a Democrat.
Posted by: GuyfromNH at January 26, 2017 08:23 PM (5zfq1)

If you don't know anyone with a truck or a gun you might be a democrat

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (voOPb)

223 If you've never met someone that drives a pickup truck.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (qgUJH)

224 202
He should get a wolf. A white one.

A game of thrones dire-wolf?
Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:35 PM (2Glrq)

A dragon or three. He is our Khaleesi- a blond coming from the East to smash the ruling Houses

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (7qAYi)

225
If President Trump rescued a mutt from the shelter instead of getting a special pedigree pup, the Left would freak out because his real approval ratings will go up.

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (2Glrq)

226 If you're more offended that Donald Trump once said the word 'pussy' than the fact that you are married to a rapist...

Posted by: Old Hag Hillary at January 26, 2017 08:37 PM (QVQ/e)

227
If your think the opinions of irrelevant and has-been Hollywood actors are the most persuasive utterances, ever...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 08:38 PM (G03UX)

228 ...if you think that every rape accusation should be listened to and believe, unless its against Bill Clinton.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:38 PM (39g3+)

229 If you think John C. Calhoun is representative of modern Southern thought, but Robert Byrd says nothing about modern Democrats.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:38 PM (0Veb5)

230 If you voted for Ted Kennedy every time he ran, but wouldn't vote for Trump because he said pussy, you might just be a Democrat.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at January 26, 2017 08:38 PM (kqtMD)

231 66 If you own anything with Obama's arrogant face on it.


True story: my son went to DC a couple years ago on his middle school class trip and he picked up an Obama coffee cup for me. Thought it was hilarious... it was, actually....

I've never used it. It sat right next to my GWB "miss me yet?" mug (which I DID use) for the longest time until we recently cleaned out that cabinet.

Good times .....

Posted by: Shred21 at January 26, 2017 08:38 PM (nOsY0)

232 "Trump should get a chihuahua just to troll the Mexicans."

Oh gawd, that would be funny.

Posted by: Tuna at January 26, 2017 08:38 PM (JSovD)

233 Can we talk about boobs yet?

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 08:38 PM (qUNWi)

234 Do you breed, show, and handle your own dogs?

No. Her Majesty breeds, shows and handles our dogs and judges other dogs. I just do the heavy lifting and moving.

When I achieve great wealth, I will raise a monument to the Tomb of the Unknown Dog Show Husband. Except that "Unknown Dog Show Husband" is a redundant term.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:38 PM (J8/9G)

235
btw, in case you didn't hear, President Trump's approval ratings are even lower than last week!

A new fake poll from quinnipiac shows a four-point drop of Approvals for Mr Trump to 36%.

My ass.

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (2Glrq)

236 Bernie goldberg is a dick....

Posted by: E.T. at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (9n0dl)

237 [haven't read the whole thread, apologies if they're repeated]

If you think that a Democrat President freed the slaves.

If you think that Islamic honor killings don't happen in the US.

If you think that Muslims in the US won't murder gays.

If you think that Islam is a religion of peace.

If you think that Trump is more dangerous than a nuclear Iran.

Posted by: shibumi, frequent Warrior Princess and kitty cat staff at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (J5mC3)

238 Anyone know who Tucker's victim will be tonight?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (PY9jH)

239 If you think Christians are anti-woman & anti-gay, but think muslims are wonderful...

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (7qAYi)

240
If you fucking love Science! ...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (G03UX)

241 If you think the term "justice" requires a modifier, e.g., social justice, economic justice, environmental justice.

Posted by: Afroman at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (or/z8)

242 A new fake poll from quinnipiac shows a four-point drop of Approvals for Mr Trump to 36%.

My ass.
Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (2Glrq)

---

If you believe polls, you're a dumbass.

Posted by: Zombie Teddy Roosevelt at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (CRotO)

243 235
btw, in case you didn't hear, President Trump's approval ratings are even lower than last week!

A new fake poll from quinnipiac shows a four-point drop of Approvals for Mr Trump to 36%.

My ass.
Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (2Glrq)


Did the internals say they polled EPA and State Department workers?

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (sdi6R)

244 If you think Barry Goldwater, who integrated his own business before the Civil Rights Act, was a racist.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (0Veb5)

245 If you think that abortion is a woman's health issue but not about murdering an innocent life.

Posted by: cookasia at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (mm6Zt)

246 If you believe the (R)s were really the (D)s back when the slaves were freed and magically swapped names some time in the 1900s but still can't explain why those racist Southern slaveholding states only started electing (R) governors in the last decade or two.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (Halhc)

247 If you go on Tucker Carlson's show and think you've owned him with your liberal drivel, and have no idea he just handed you your ass on a platter, you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (PY9jH)

248 If you think that CNN etc. are completely unbiased....

Posted by: shibumi, frequent Warrior Princess and kitty cat staff at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (J5mC3)

249 ...if you think Planned Parenthood both gets so little money from the federal government it doesn't matter, and yet will close entirely if that money is cut off.

(also, NPR)

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:40 PM (39g3+)

250 If you think Caitlyn Jenner really is a woman...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (qJhUV)

251 If you think reading the Bible in school violates the First Amendement but not inviting imams to get school kids to recite the shahada.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (0mRoj)

252 If you care whether or not a candidate for high office is cool.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (hJrjt)

253 If you think Chelsea Manning really is a woman...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (qJhUV)

254 A new fake poll from quinnipiac shows a four-point drop of Approvals for Mr Trump to 36%.

My ass.
Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:39 PM (2Glrq)

Looks like a short night for Trump. Best pack it in, folks.

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (7qAYi)

255 If you think that ever FSB agent arrested by Putin was an American asset.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (e8kgV)

256 If you say we must do everything for "the children", while you scream that women must have control over their "bodies"...

Posted by: iwuzhere at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (GRNzr)

257 Drudge had Trumps approval today, I think it was a Rasmussed poll.

Posted by: shibumi, frequent Warrior Princess and kitty cat staff at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (J5mC3)

258 ...if you think getting tampons for free is a human right, but self defense is not.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (39g3+)

259
He is our Khaleesi-

I think the male term is Khal. Khaleesi is "queen" I think.

Posted by: Soothsayer GT with Electronic Fuel Injection at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (2Glrq)

260 Damn! That was a lot of fun. Thanks, OM.

Posted by: JTB at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (V+03K)

261 If you complain about the lack of jobs for inner city yuutes and then turn around and demand all of Mexico has a right to come live and work here.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 08:42 PM (wD9H7)

262 Watched CNN briefly earlier tonight (@work). Wolf Blitzer is an inane twat. They are also losing there shit over Bannon's "keep its mouth shut" comment at the MSM. I personally liked his MSM is an opposition party comment. Also, Christinne Ammanoupour is an extraordinary awful human being. I loathe her.

Posted by: Puddleglum at January 26, 2017 08:42 PM (pY+s4)

263 If you're a soaring orator with a stuttering problem...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:42 PM (qJhUV)

264 ...if you hold a rally telling men to stay away from your private parts, then demand men pay for their upkeep.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:42 PM (39g3+)

265 If you think "general welfare" refers to social security checks and not national defense.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:42 PM (0Veb5)

266 252 If you care whether or not a candidate for high office is cool.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 26, 2017 08:41 PM (hJrjt)

but hated the cool kids in school...

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:42 PM (7qAYi)

267 Kodos,
Haha!! Like "Best In Show" but in real life....
I tried to breed and show Cavaliers before they were AKC recognized and only had the breed club, ~~20 years ago. Yeah, not for me. I have a Dandie now because...no shedding.

Posted by: lindafell no longer in de spair at January 26, 2017 08:42 PM (JNDQi)

268 If you have ever become "triggered"....

Posted by: shibumi, frequent Warrior Princess and kitty cat staff at January 26, 2017 08:43 PM (J5mC3)

269 If you fear Christian white males, but have no problem with Muslim males.

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:43 PM (CRotO)

270 If you take extra joy when Sarah Palin shuts down her PAC.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 26, 2017 08:43 PM (e8kgV)

271 Boobs.

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 08:43 PM (qUNWi)

272 Also, Christinne Ammanoupour is an extraordinary awful human being.

I was pretty left wing in the 80s, in my youth. Terrified of Ronald Reagan. Listened to NPR every night. She was a foreign correspondent of some kind on there, and I still couldn't stand her.

It was obvious she HATED America and all Americans.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:43 PM (39g3+)

273 If you believe any other country but the US has put men on another planet...

Posted by: Rob Crawford at January 26, 2017 08:44 PM (fVubI)

274 If you are a coward who says nothing to support your President and then suddenly pop up to oppose him over "torture".




Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:44 PM (Gv7El)

275 If you think the phrase "church and state" is in any document that bears legal weight.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:44 PM (0Veb5)

276 If you think "Russians hacking the election" is a breathless "news story" but the Clinton Foundation is an actual, honest to God, real philanthropic organization that is above scrutiny in every way, you might just be a Democrat.

Posted by: Shred21 at January 26, 2017 08:44 PM (nOsY0)

277 If you celebrated when Sarah Palin got her emails hacked but flipped your shit when it happened to John Podesta...

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 08:44 PM (0mRoj)

278 ...if you think court decisions establishing precedent "amend the constitution"

seriously I was told that today by a Democrat.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:45 PM (39g3+)

279 If you think people shouldn't own guns, but Iran should have nukes...

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:45 PM (7qAYi)

280 If you think cops should just shoot the weapons out of the criminal's hand.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:45 PM (Halhc)

281 If you can't stomach Greta now that she is on MSNBC

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (e8kgV)

282 BTW... the Mayor has decided that Miami is no longer a sanctuary city.

surprise, surprise, someone understands math.

Posted by: shibumi, frequent Warrior Princess and kitty cat staff at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (J5mC3)

283 If you think Trayvon Martin was an innocent child buying candy...

Posted by: iwuzhere at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (GRNzr)

284 If you don't know anyone who voted for Bush ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (mt8X9)

285 Trump's pet obviously needs to be a golden retriever.

Fetch America's greatness, Goldie! Go get it! Bring it back!

GOOD DOG!

Posted by: filbert at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (s5o+q)

286 If you complain about enhanced interrogation of terrorists but have no problem with assassinating them with drones.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (IDPbH)

287 278 ...if you think court decisions establishing precedent "amend the constitution"

seriously I was told that today by a Democrat.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:45 PM (39g3+)

====================

"God, you must love Citizen's United and Heller, then."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (0Veb5)

288 If the only servicemembers you like are traitors and cowards.

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (CRotO)

289 ...if you think Pizzagate is a stupid conspiracy without any basis, but Trump is obviously a puppet of the Russians.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:46 PM (39g3+)

290 NDH, I don't think Queen Elizabeth gave up her corgis altogether. I believe she is not getting any new ones because she is too old for puppies .
Posted by: fluffy at January 26, 2017 08:14 PM (jw2Xw)

Her last Corgi passed in October.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at January 26, 2017 08:47 PM (dKiJG)

291 272 Also, Christinne Ammanoupour is an extraordinary awful human being.

I was pretty left wing in the 80s, in my youth. Terrified of Ronald Reagan. Listened to NPR every night. She was a foreign correspondent of some kind on there, and I still couldn't stand her.

It was obvious she HATED America and all Americans.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:43 PM (39g3+)


I do remember a milblogger back in the early 2000s saying he met her in Iraq, and that she was more attractive in person than on TV. Of course, that was nearly 15 years ago.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 08:47 PM (sdi6R)

292 ...if you think Hillary should have been president because she has the necessary experience....

Posted by: Blake at January 26, 2017 08:47 PM (WEBkv)

293 If you're a Patriots' fan.

Just kidding!

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 08:47 PM (CRotO)

294
If you think Michelle Obama is one of the most beautiful women in the world

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2017 08:47 PM (auHtY)

295 If you think ' what difference does it make? '

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:47 PM (IDPbH)

296 35 Two of my favorite Foxworthys:

You might be a redneck if...

Your grandmother has gotten into a fistfight at a high school basketball game.

You've worn a tube top to a wedding.

Posted by: Mathers

It's the bride's day, she can wear whatever she wants.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at January 26, 2017 08:47 PM (iWW0H)

297 If you think "stigma and homophobia" are the major cause of HIV infection and buggery has nothing at all to do with it, you might be a Democrat...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at January 26, 2017 08:47 PM (kP16F)

298 ...if you think a trained civilian should have no gun but the EPA should.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (39g3+)

299 If you don't know anyone who owns guns (legally, gang members don't count)

Posted by: iwuzhere at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (GRNzr)

300 "A chapter in Christopher Hitchens' book NO ONE LEFT TO LIE TO is titled IS THERE A RAPIST IN THE OVAL OFFICE?"

Clintonworld has mounted a huge effort to retcon Billy Jeff's stance on the Defense Of Marriage Act. All previous statements and discussions have been stuffed down the memory hole.

Why, say the Clintons and their flunkies now, he was *hugely* reluctant to sign DOMA, and only did so because his hand had been cruelly forced by Congressional pressure, and it never reflected his true thinking on the issue of gay marriage, and he was deeply ashamed and began to work at once to undo the damage.

Hitch points out in the above book that this is all a smoking sack of shit. Completely unsupported by the facts.

Hitch further observes that the '96 Clinton campaign bought a huge amount of radio and TV airtime in (cough) "selected media markets" (cough) so that Billy Jeff could talk up his signing of DOMA to subsets of the Democratic audience who liked the concept, such as the black churches.

Posted by: torquewrench at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (noWW6)

301 If you think the United States was the only country since Imperial Rome to have slavery.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (J8/9G)

302 If you've never met anyone who own a truck...

Posted by: Max Power at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (/5NmO)

303
If you think that the Koch Brothers are the worst thing ever but George Soros is great

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (auHtY)

304 If you think Hillary Clinton winning the popular vote means something.

If you think Hillary Clinton might someday still be president.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (/tuJf)

305 If you think federal laws don't apply to sanctuary cities.

(someone here mentioned they were told this by an idiot).

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (4ErVI)

306 If you think everyone has medical coverage thanks to Obamacare, but that the government still needs to hand Planned Parenthood money in order to give underprivileged women healthcare.

Posted by: J. Random Dude at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (C9lNt)

307 ...if you don't know any Christians personally.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (39g3+)

308 If you think kids can decide what gender they'll be, but won't let them decide what do eat for lunch

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (7qAYi)

309 ..if you think Obama was a great president with outstanding oratorical skills.

Posted by: Blake at January 26, 2017 08:49 PM (WEBkv)

310 You set your password to "PASSWORD" ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 08:49 PM (mt8X9)

311 If you get pissed off when you have to comment on a terrorist attack and it interrupts your golf game...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:49 PM (qJhUV)

312
205 You intentionally try to knit hats that look like female genitalia to wear when you meet with fellow like-minded pussy-hatters immediately after trying hard to slut-shame a professional model who posed topless years ago simply because she disagrees with you politically.

(And is gorgeous, of course.)


Sorry, most of those knitted hats made them look like badly shorn pedo bears with severe sunburn.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 08:49 PM (G03UX)

313 If you think homosexuals are more than 3% of the population.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:49 PM (Halhc)

314 301 If you think the United States was the only country since Imperial Rome to have slavery.
Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (J8/9G)

FTFY

Posted by: DoublySymmetric at January 26, 2017 08:50 PM (QjZlN)

315 If you flip out when a public school choir sings a Christmas carol, but you celebrate diversity when public school teachers take your kids to a local mosque ...

Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 08:50 PM (JBggj)

316 you might be a democrat....if you think islam is a religion of peace

Posted by: runner at January 26, 2017 08:50 PM (c6/9Q)

317 305 If you think federal laws don't apply to sanctuary cities.

(someone here mentioned they were told this by an idiot).
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (4ErVI)

===================

Twas me. I laughed. In their Twitter faces.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:50 PM (0Veb5)

318 Posted by: J. Random Dude at January 26, 2017 08:48 PM (C9lNt)

Excellent

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:50 PM (IDPbH)

319 If you receive a Nobel Peace Prize as a participation trophy...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 08:50 PM (qJhUV)

320 "I think he should get a bear."

"The bear is loose!!1!"
Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:34 PM (J8/9G)

Yup....A bear would fit perfectly. I vote for a bear. Black, brown or Rosie?

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 26, 2017 08:50 PM (5VlCp)

321 If you think Miami Mayor Carlos Gimenez is a wimp for giving up on sanctuary city status

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 26, 2017 08:51 PM (e8kgV)

322 You don't believe in building a border wall ... but build a wall around your new D.C. home.

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 08:51 PM (mt8X9)

323
If you think Hillary Clinton might someday still be president.


This thread has just jumped the shark.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 08:51 PM (J8/9G)

324 You think science changes after 7th grade.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:51 PM (Halhc)

325 Bwahahahahaha this is awesome! I don't have time to play now but will come back for some hilarious review of the thread.

I LOVE the Horde :-D

Posted by: NC Ref at January 26, 2017 08:51 PM (SpeiC)

326 Trump needs a Russian dog. A gift from Putin.

Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 08:52 PM (U0lQa)

327 If you think every Republican presidential nominee is Hitler, *especially* when the Republicans run a lifelong Democrat.

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at January 26, 2017 08:52 PM (4bKiB)

328 You've worn a tube top to a wedding.

Posted by: Mathers

It's the bride's day, she can wear whatever she wants.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn

------------------------

Right, and her obese mother too.

Posted by: PE Flaming Trump Skull at January 26, 2017 08:52 PM (QVQ/e)

329 Wow, a lot of "burns" here, I'm impressed.

Posted by: Max Power at January 26, 2017 08:52 PM (/5NmO)

330 .... if the rule of law, responsibility, accountability does not apply to you along with the expectation and reality of never having to face consequences for your actions.

Posted by: Pepe, sign the damn National Divorce Papers! at January 26, 2017 08:52 PM (oBJsb)

331 If you think it makes sense for women to objectify themselves by wearing vagina costumes or baring their breasts to protest against being...objectified.

Posted by: Molly's Mom at January 26, 2017 08:53 PM (EwGtF)

332 If you love to gloat about how "dumb" Americans are, while insisting that our public school system is perfect and can't be improved (except by throwing more money at it)...

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at January 26, 2017 08:53 PM (0OG8D)

333 If you think cops should just shoot the weapons out of the criminal's hand.
Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:45 PM (Halhc)
---------------

Hahahahaha.... absurd but true.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:53 PM (qgUJH)

334 OT:
So I finally searched for "Heavy Breathing" on YouTube. That is the name of a band that has played shows at Comet Ping Pong. Here is one of their videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo_euND7Acs

It's probably SFW since there is no profanity or nudity, but holy shit that is creepy as fuck.

It would be par for the course in a trendy avant-garde hipster nightclub, but in a "family restaurant"???

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 08:53 PM (sdi6R)

335 333 Hahahahaha.... absurd but true.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:53 PM (qgUJH)

===================

Well, to be fair, I saw Bruce Willis do it in a movie once.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:53 PM (0Veb5)

336 If you think Lena Dunham is attractive but Melania Trump is not...

But I'm not a Democrat.

Posted by: Moby Dick at January 26, 2017 08:54 PM (rH4JY)

337 If you think the message of the future is Shut The Fuck Up Whitey.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 26, 2017 08:54 PM (/tuJf)

338 ...you're convinced the oral and ano-rectal orifices are fully functioning sex organs but the vagina...well, now that's a very complicated matter.

Posted by: M.O. at January 26, 2017 08:54 PM (ptvK6)

339 If you believe that Guam might tip over ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 08:54 PM (mt8X9)

340 Trump's pet obviously needs to be a golden retriever.
---

That was my first choice.

However, a big orange Tom cat would be nice too.

Posted by: shibumi, frequent Warrior Princess and kitty cat staff at January 26, 2017 08:54 PM (J5mC3)

341 if you believe that the hardest job in the world is being a teacher

Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 08:54 PM (U0lQa)

342
If you think Sashay and Malaria were rightly off limits to press jibes, but it is totes okay for them to go after Barron Trump...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 08:54 PM (G03UX)

343 If you think homosexuals are more than 3% of the population.
Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 08:49 PM (Halhc)
--------------
If you think that TRANSsexuals are more than 0.1% of the population.

(I doubt it is even that high).

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (qgUJH)

344 ...you find the opening of an umbrella an insurmountable task.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (Tyii7)

345 If you think Operation Rescue is terrorism, but Terrorism isn't...

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (oVJmc)

346 ...if you think that we should get money out of politics, but despise the candidate who was outspent 3:1 as corrupt.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (39g3+)

347 Trump should get a pet cat and name it pussy. That ought to jam up the narrative for future generations.

From the future:
Why did they get so upset about President Trump talking about grabbing his pet cat named pussy?

Posted by: PE Flaming Trump Skull at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (QVQ/e)

348 you might be democrat...if you think all the third world problems are America's fault...

Posted by: runner at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (c6/9Q)

349 Well, to be fair, I saw Bruce Willis do it in a movie once.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:53 PM (0Veb5)

I also saw Christopher Reeve fly.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (qgUJH)

350 69 If you think that someone else's time and service should be given to you for free, you might be a slaveholder...or a democrat advocating for free healthcare.

Doesn't matter which.

As a health care providor.....THANNK YOU!!!!

Posted by: Mr Obvious at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (5prN7)

351 Trump's pet? A lynx, which is a suped-up wildcat.

Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 08:55 PM (JBggj)

352 NO TUCKER???

NOOooooOOOooOOooOOooOooooOoooOOO

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:56 PM (Gv7El)

353 >>>If you think a person's gender is fluid but sexual preference is permanently fixed...

It's only permanently fixed if you're gay. If you're not gay, then you are pre-gay.

Posted by: Sally Kohn at January 26, 2017 08:56 PM (rH4JY)

354 If you make fun of someone who can speak five languages because of their accent.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 08:56 PM (IDPbH)

355 you might be a democrat... if you think that the US Constitution is a "living document"

Posted by: runner at January 26, 2017 08:56 PM (c6/9Q)

356 It would be par for the course in a trendy avant-garde hipster nightclub, but in a "family restaurant"???
Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 08:53 PM (sdi6R)

=====================

There is another video out there from Comet Ping Pong that features some sort of tranny stand up act. It too is creepy and definitely not "kid friendly."

Posted by: Blake at January 26, 2017 08:57 PM (WEBkv)

357 If you're a Hollywood actress who calls Trump a sexual predator but you LOOOOOVE Roman Polanski...

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 26, 2017 08:57 PM (oVJmc)

358 This thread is simultaneously hilarious and infuriating.

What is WRONG with these people?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:57 PM (qgUJH)

359 or get a cat but not name it anything.

there would be marches by PETA over that

Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 08:57 PM (U0lQa)

360 If you only notice the homeless when a Republican is President...

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:57 PM (7qAYi)

361 If you think mansplaining is patriarchal, but that lectures by pasty white men with cunny facial hair is the art of political thought . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 08:57 PM (GsAUU)

362 Ed Henry?



He looks like such a nice boy.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 08:58 PM (Gv7El)

363 If you think a 5 year old dressing up as an Indian on Halloween is a cultural appropriation but a 50 year old woman claiming to be an Indian when she isn't for a job is perfectly fine.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 26, 2017 08:58 PM (/tuJf)

364 If you can watch a news program and see a story documenting massive government waste and fraud and then the next story identifies a "problem" that must absolutely have only a government solution and not see the yuge conundrum, you might be a Democrat.

*This happened a lot in the 1980s on the national news. I mostly remember it on NBC where Brokaw would do a story about waste and then the next story would be what's government going to do about this problem? That was an early shove getting me moving to the right.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 08:58 PM (4ErVI)

365 355 you might be a democrat... if you think that the US Constitution is a "living document"
Posted by: runner at January 26, 2017 08:56 PM (c6/9Q)

But the climate should never change...

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 08:58 PM (7qAYi)

366 Shit like this happens when I am at happy hour!?!?!?!

Corgis done been called and funny stuff.

Posted by: Pump Shotgun at January 26, 2017 08:58 PM (cOHS7)

367 357 If you're a Hollywood actress who calls Trump a sexual predator but you LOOOOOVE Roman Polanski...
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 26, 2017 08:57 PM (oVJmc)

====================

If you hate Trump's possible sexual predation but completely ignore the former child stars who say they were whored out by some of the most powerful people in your industry.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:58 PM (0Veb5)

368 If you think Communism isn't as bad as Naziism.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:59 PM (qgUJH)

369 ...if you gave Roman Polanski a standing ovation but consider Trump just an awful man you must condemn in a later speech.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:59 PM (39g3+)

370 ...if you think the climate should be exactly how it was when you were young and at Woodstock, maaan

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 08:59 PM (39g3+)

371 Tucker's gone.

My night is ruined.

I blame you , 3.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (Gv7El)

372 If you think someone's race can either excuse the crimes they commit, or justify committing crimes against them.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (rH4JY)

373 368 If you think Communism isn't as bad as Naziism.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:59 PM (qgUJH)

===================

If you think National Socialism is part and parcel with Libertarianism.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (0Veb5)

374 Gender studies degree was money well spent.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (dKiJG)

375 If you think Russians hacking the election makes Trump illegitimate, but that Mexicans marching in the streets for liberal policies is okay . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (GsAUU)

376 if you have a bullying awareness ribbon on your Facebook page, just over your post about wishing your "black brothers" would gang rape Melania

Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (U0lQa)

377 >>President Trump should get a presidential lion and train him to sniff out microphones.

With the mane carefully arranged on top.

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (gTQoY)

378 If you hate Trump's possible sexual predation but completely ignore the former child stars who say they were whored out by some of the most powerful people in your industry.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 08:58 PM (0Veb5)
-----------------

When I tell people about that they universally drop their jaws. I'm like, "Yeah, the Coreys were passed around like party favors, according to several reports."

Yeah. Hollywood is the worst.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (qgUJH)

379 you might be a democrat..if you think that cats are smarter then dogs !

Posted by: DOG at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (c6/9Q)

380 If you think that my speech is violence and your violence is speech...

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:01 PM (6gk0M)

381 If you think National Socialism is part and parcel with Libertarianism.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (0Veb5)
---------
Huuuwhaaa????

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:02 PM (qgUJH)

382 I know Tucker Carlson , sir.

And you are no Tucker Carlson.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 09:02 PM (Gv7El)

383 If you think drugs should be legalized, but you still regret that Rush Limbaugh didn't go to the slammer for buying oxys from his maid....

Posted by: mnw at January 26, 2017 09:02 PM (5gT6u)

384 378 When I tell people about that they universally drop their jaws. I'm like, "Yeah, the Coreys were passed around like party favors, according to several reports."

Yeah. Hollywood is the worst.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (qgUJH)

===================

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said. J-Law looked just so great in her dress! And she said things the reaffirmed my worldview! I'm a strong and independent thinker!"
-Very smart college student who's struggling with their core classes but acing that gender studies course

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:03 PM (0Veb5)

385 Fuck it, I'll throw a couple in:

If you hate Christian morality and teachings, but excoriate and chide Christians if they violate any of said teachings, you might be a Democrat.

If you believe you have morale authority, while you masturbate to hentai whilst eagerly waiting for that new Kenneth Anger film you ordered, you might be a Democrat.


Posted by: Anon at January 26, 2017 09:03 PM (C9fPz)

386 As an aside looking at this story about Trump's tariff shattering the peso, someone who is savvy in currency speculation could make a fortune following his Twitter feed and betting on a nation's currency if he makes a statement about trade with them.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:03 PM (4ErVI)

387 381 If you think National Socialism is part and parcel with Libertarianism.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (0Veb5)
---------
Huuuwhaaa????
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:02 PM (qgUJH)

=====================

I once had an old American hippie in Italy call me a Nazi because I said that I wanted the government to do 2 things: national defense and roads.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:03 PM (0Veb5)

388 371 Tucker's gone.

My night is ruined.

I blame you , 3.
Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3
-------------

Tucker Carlson is dead?

Posted by: Marshall Tucker at January 26, 2017 09:04 PM (7FzSq)

389
If you get your news from late night "comedians" or the Daily Show

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2017 09:04 PM (auHtY)

390 Is the site still a bit wonky?

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:04 PM (6gk0M)

391 If you rave about diversity but live in a pasty-white gated community . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:04 PM (GsAUU)

392 358 This thread is simultaneously hilarious and infuriating.

What is WRONG with these people?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 08:57 PM (qgUJH)

=========================

It's rather sobering and scary to realize that half your country is seriously mentally ill (actively, whether willful or not, evades reality) ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:04 PM (mt8X9)

393
If you are biologically a male but you sit to pee...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 09:04 PM (G03UX)

394 If you think right-wingers are idiots, but you need a cheat-sheet to talk politics with your uncle at Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at January 26, 2017 09:05 PM (4bKiB)

395 If you insist that those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it, but you couldn't name any president from Washington to Lincoln.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:05 PM (0Veb5)

396 I once had an old American hippie in Italy call me a Nazi because I said that I wanted the government to do 2 things: national defense and roads.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:03 PM (0Veb5)

----------------

I was in a Brit expat's pub in Portugal last year and I was wearing a "Zion National Park" hat. The guys was like, "You one of those zionists?"

I left.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:05 PM (qgUJH)

397 If you have ever voted for a black man because he is black, or against a white man, because he is white, to fight bigotry...

If you do not approve of guns but do threaten to shoot people...

If you have ever said "male" instead of "man", "problematic " instead of "stupid", or "person of color" instead of "that guy"...

If you have never defended a helpless woman by have demanded more strong females...

If you love others via profanity...

If your economic plans involve men with guns, but your national defense plans involve bureaucrats with pens...

If you have ever called someone "anti-science" because they believe in chromosomes, hormones, or the heating power of the sun...

You are a Democrat.
And may God have mercy on your soul.

Posted by: Dr No at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (IVS67)

398 If you feel no guilt about punishing men in college who are unaccused of any crime, but wish to exonerate those who rape women because of "sexual emergencies".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (rH4JY)

399 Yeah, the Coreys were passed around like party favors, according to several reports

+++

you mean to tell us that it wasn't an awesome life affirming enlightening and liberating experience?

Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (U0lQa)

400 Tucker Carlson is dead?

Posted by: Marshall Tucker at January 26, 2017 09:04 PM (7FzSq)


He will be missed.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (4ErVI)

401 If you enjoy representation without taxation...

Posted by: mikeski at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (TXZ1v)

402 If you live in a gated community protected by armed guards while you passionately advocate gun control...

Posted by: mnw at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (5gT6u)

403 384 378 When I tell people about that they universally drop their jaws. I'm like, "Yeah, the Coreys were passed around like party favors, according to several reports."

Yeah. Hollywood is the worst.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:00 PM (qgUJH)

The Rumor is that it was David Geffen and he would sue them into nonexistent.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (dKiJG)

404 Damn.

RIP Tucker.

Man.

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (qUNWi)

405 Tucker's gone.



My night is ruined.
===================

Ol' Dan Tucker?

Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (JBggj)

406
If you think Amy Schumer is cute, original and funny...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 09:07 PM (G03UX)

407 If you're certain that global warming is entirely caused by humanity, but you're not sure if it's going to rain tomorrow...

If you're angry at all the Confederate monuments, but think the Vietnam Memorial is holy ground...


Posted by: Gork at January 26, 2017 09:07 PM (9JDsW)

408 396 I was in a Brit expat's pub in Portugal last year and I was wearing a "Zion National Park" hat. The guys was like, "You one of those zionists?"

I left.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:05 PM (qgUJH)

==================

I worked with that hippie, and being young, dumb, and unfamiliar with anything regarding my ideology at the time other than talking points, I backed down.

It's one of those moments, like the Jerk Store, that I desperately want back.

I'd stare at him, laugh, and ask, "Are you an idiot?"

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:07 PM (0Veb5)

409 If you think Trump is Hitler but are worried he will cancel NAFTA, you just might be a Canadian Liberal party member.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 26, 2017 09:07 PM (lJXY3)

410 It's rather sobering and scary to realize that half your country is
seriously mentally ill (actively, whether willful or not, evades
reality) ...

===

I realize that there are seriously mental ill people.

There are also people who claim mental illness in order to excuse their aberrant behavior and to manipulate the gullible.


Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 09:07 PM (Gv7El)

411 If you call Trump a racist, then vow to move to a white country in protest . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (GsAUU)

412 If you tune into to se mary tyler moore tribute and its all about opfrah! in fng reAL

Posted by: Billy at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (TdKpj)

413 Ol' Dan Tucker?

Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (JBggj)

He was great on Bonanza.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (4ErVI)

414 The Rumor is that it was David Geffen and he would sue them into nonexistent.
Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (dKiJG)
-----------

Well, one is dead and the other insane, so, bang up job, Hollywood!

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (qgUJH)

415 ...you think the last eight years were anything but an abject failure.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (Tyii7)

416 If chalk pictures of Trump on sidewalks send you into an hysterical frenzy...

Posted by: PE Flaming Trump Skull at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (QVQ/e)

417 might be a Dem if...

...You think Hollywood is full of experts on politics and policy.

... You complain about lack of free birth control while remaining silent about women raped, beaten, bought, sold, and killed as Muslim sex slaves.

You claim the science is settled on AGW while ignoring decades of psychiatric science on gender identity disorder.

Posted by: Sippin_bourbon at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (5Z34V)

418 410 I realize that there are seriously mental ill people.

There are also people who claim mental illness in order to excuse their aberrant behavior and to manipulate the gullible.


Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 09:07 PM (Gv7El)

====================

My female boss at Burger King in college used her hormones to justify her regularly shitty behavior.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (0Veb5)

419 if you think Asian is more specific and less offensive than Oriental

Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 09:09 PM (U0lQa)

420 He was great on Bonanza.

That ten gallon hat.....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:09 PM (qUNWi)

421 If you think the President of the United States serves some higher cosmic purpose but the Pope should be accountable to his constituents ...

Posted by: FireHorse at January 26, 2017 09:09 PM (baz6p)

422 Tucker, we hardly knew ye.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at January 26, 2017 09:09 PM (Tyii7)

423 #405: Aw, man... the old toothache in the heel. It'll get you every time!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at January 26, 2017 09:09 PM (0OG8D)

424 It's one of those moments, like the Jerk Store, that I desperately want back.

I'd stare at him, laugh, and ask, "Are you an idiot?"
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:07 PM (0Veb5)
-----------

I was in the guy's bar in another country on VACATION so I just decided to let it drop.

But it verified my general opinion of Europeans vis a vis Jews.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:10 PM (qgUJH)

425 If you think global warming is going to makes the oceans rise 10 feet, but live less than 10 feet above sea level . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:10 PM (GsAUU)

426 If you are Barbara Boxer & live in an exclusive enclave where gardeners work triple shifts, but you deny irrigation water to farmers in the Cenyral Valley...

Posted by: mnw at January 26, 2017 09:10 PM (5gT6u)

427 If you think that the world's worst evils can be fought with pussyhats and hashtags, yet see nothing wrong with giving nukes to the Iranians.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:10 PM (rH4JY)

428
396 I was in a Brit expat's pub in Portugal last year and I was wearing a "Zion National Park" hat. The guys was like, "You one of those zionists?"

I left.


You should have said, "Yes, I am. I especially enjoyed their "Dunk the Pali" skill game -- their allergic to bathing you know!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 09:10 PM (G03UX)

429 Tucker, we hardly knew ye


Aye, laddie.

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:10 PM (qUNWi)

430 Fun, but it's time for Her Majesty and I to give Trump's future dog a bath. Later.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (J8/9G)

431 I thought I played a pretty good Hop Sing. No?

Posted by: Carlson Blocker at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (7FzSq)

432 If you believe that those who say there is only one race -- the human race -- is racist ... [search "The University of California's Insane Speech Police"]

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (mt8X9)

433 If you're angry at all the Confederate monuments, but think the Vietnam Memorial is holy ground...


Posted by: Gork at January 26, 2017 09:07 PM (9JDsW)

Uh, what's wrong with the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial?

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (7qAYi)

434 ...you still think there's a flag on Mars.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (Tyii7)

435 424 I was in the guy's bar in another country on VACATION so I just decided to let it drop.

But it verified my general opinion of Europeans vis a vis Jews.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:10 PM (qgUJH)

====================

Yeah, that's just an uncomfortable situation.

Maybe you should have sued him (...you may be a Democrat), because Lord knows that there couldn't have possibly been another place nearby that could have served you.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (0Veb5)

436 If you call Trump a misogynist while calling your own daughter "a thoughtless, fat pig"...

Posted by: Alex Baldwin at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (QVQ/e)

437 If you call Trump a racist, then vow to move to a white country* in protest . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:08 PM (GsAUU)


*Usually an English speaking country with laws based on English common law!

Posted by: Hrothgar at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (UDXti)

438 If you read this far, and only thought two posts were funny...

Posted by: mikeski at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (TXZ1v)

439 I spat out blood at Kenneth Anger reference.

Posted by: Hey ho Cooper at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (M3DRt)

440 My female boss at Burger King in college used her hormones to justify her regularly shitty behavior.
==

Someone like that has the option of realizing at some point that she is , in fact a complete asshole.

Truly mentally ill people do not have that option.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (Gv7El)

441 You should have said, "Yes, I am. I especially enjoyed their "Dunk the Pali" skill game -- their allergic to bathing you know!"
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot at January 26, 2017 09:10 PM (G03UX)

----------------

I had promised to 'behave' while in another country.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (qgUJH)

442 If you claim to be conservative, yet support amnesty... oh wait.

Posted by: ¡Jeb! at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (rH4JY)

443 if you thought Summer Glaus character in Firefly made the show

Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (U0lQa)

444 You might be a Democrat if "You think pussy hats will change the world."

Bravo, Ace.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky,Deplorable Infidel Queen at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (fq4ih)

445 I was in a Brit expat's pub in Portugal last year and I was wearing a "Zion National Park" hat. The guys was like, "You one of those zionists?"

Impossibru, all British are super intelligent better educated people than us and live in Europe, the utopian paradise of socialism we all should emulate.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (39g3+)

446 If Christians should shut up because the crusades are the same thing as modern Muslim terrorism.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:13 PM (Halhc)

447 Uh, what's wrong with the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial?

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (7qAYi)

Yeah I mean I actually think both are.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:13 PM (4ErVI)

448 443 if you thought Summer Glaus character in Firefly made the show
Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (U0lQa)

======================

Well, looks like I'm a Democrat.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:13 PM (0Veb5)

449 ...if you think Jews are the worst troublemakers and most violent in the Middle East

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (39g3+)

450 I love all the FakeNews headlines about a trade war with Mexico as if it's a big deal for America. LOL. Gee I wonder who needs trade more? The country with a 60B surplus or with a 60B deficit? Hmmmm.....

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (wD9H7)

451 If you think I'm funny...

Posted by: Amy Schumer at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (qJhUV)

452 I've heard good things about "Occupied," the miniseries about a "velvet invasion" of Norway by Russia, but two minutes in & I'm already choking on virtue signals - climate change, a Somali woman (in Norway), and a guy taking out the recyclables. Anyone seen it? Should i stay with it?

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (7qAYi)

453 if you find Melania Trump's accent annoying but can't get enough of Hillary cackling when someone kisses her butt.

Posted by: mallflower on the range at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (b7fwp)

454 Maybe you should have sued him (...you may be a Democrat), because Lord knows that there couldn't have possibly been another place nearby that could have served you.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:11 PM (0Veb5)

------------------

It was just so... typical. Sees the word Zion and goes all antisemitic in two seconds. The dirtiest secret of the holocaust is how eager most of Europe was to get them on the trains.

I don't feel like much has changed, honestly.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (qgUJH)

455 If 26 is the age that you should be covered under you parents' insurance, but 16 is okay for abortion consent...

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (6gk0M)

456 Ugh, is it worth enduring Hannity for a Trump interview?

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (GsAUU)

457 438 If you read this far, and only thought two posts were funny...
Posted by: mikeski
---------------
Why, thank you!

Posted by: Hoss & Marshall Tucker at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (7FzSq)

458 To Hell with Hannity.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (6gk0M)

459 oo OO!

If you wear a ribbon that represents some stupid "struggle".

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (Gv7El)

460 If you ever drank a beer at a job interview.....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (qUNWi)

461 If you call President Donald Trump an anti-semite, and also object to his friendship with Bibi Netanyahu...

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (0OG8D)

462 If you have no understanding of the things that triggered the crusades. Funny, that.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (Halhc)

463 I'm hearing noises Trump is going to use that examine all existing agreements to get out of the Paris Climate Agreement.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (4ErVI)

464 If you think cannibalism and necrophilia are OK but drag racing is beyond vulgar...

Posted by: mnw at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (5gT6u)

465 Yeah I mean I actually think both are.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:13 PM (4ErVI)



Actually I think a good liberal democrat would think both were abominations and neither was holy ground!

Posted by: Hrothgar at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (UDXti)

466 Blocker Carlson is dead?

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (mt8X9)

467 "If you ever drank a beer at a job interview..."
-Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (qUNWi)

You're doing it wrong.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (6gk0M)

468 If you think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (qUNWi)

469 if you thought Summer Glaus character in Firefly made the show
Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (U0lQa)
======================
Well, looks like I'm a Democrat.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:13 PM (0Veb5)


...from the waist down, anyway.

Posted by: mikeski, proud member of team Kaylee at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (TXZ1v)

470 450 I love all the FakeNews headlines about a trade war with Mexico as if it's a big deal for America. LOL. Gee I wonder who needs trade more? The country with a 60B surplus or with a 60B deficit? Hmmmm.....
Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:14 PM (wD9H7)

===================

Art of the Deal. It's an opening gambit.

Mexico will hurt under the proposed tax, a lot. Mexico will come back to the negotiating table.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (0Veb5)

471 460 If you ever drank a beer at a job interview.....
Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (qUNWi)

:Raises hand:

But it was for a bartending job.

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (7qAYi)

472 if you think rachel maddow is sexy.

Posted by: mallflower on the range at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (b7fwp)

473 Tucker's gone.
My night is ruined.
===================
Ol' Dan Tucker?
Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 09:06 PM (JBggj)

Yup....
"Old Dan Tucker come to town
Riding a billy goat, leading a hound
The hound dog barked and billy goat jumped
And landed old Tucker on a stump
Get out the way, Old Dan Tucker
You're too late to get your supper
Get out the way, Old Dan Tucker
You're too late to get your supper"

Up next "Old Zip Coon"......

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 26, 2017 09:16 PM (5VlCp)

474 If you ever cut your grass and found a car...

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:17 PM (qUNWi)

475 If you ever drank a beer at a job interview.....

Posted by: eleven
===

Or interviewed as a team.

Posted by: Mortimer, Finish Her! 3 at January 26, 2017 09:17 PM (Gv7El)

476 ...if you think the Crusades were started by Christian aggression against peaceful Muslims in their homeland

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 09:17 PM (39g3+)

477 Impossibru, all British are super intelligent better educated people than us and live in Europe, the utopian paradise of socialism we all should emulate.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 09:12 PM (39g3+)
-----------------

Yeah. Portugal is just FULL of boom towns. It's GOING GREAT over there. /sarc.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:17 PM (qgUJH)

478 You Might Be A Democrat...

...if you think imposing import trade restrictions in the form of punitive tariffs is good for the economy.

...if you don't believe that free people should be allowed to trade freely with whomever they want.

...if you believe that a centralized government bureaucracy rather than importers and exporters are better at sorting out trade deals.

Posted by: RD Walker at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (ASayv)

479 Hannity may be...well...Hannity. But he did a fuck ton to help Trump get elected. He's OK in my book.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (wD9H7)

480 If you'd hate a king who murdered his subjects for fun, but would love him if only he donned a uniform and called himself "First Citizen of the People's Communist Republic of ...".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (rH4JY)

481 If you believe anorexia is a terrible mental issue but transgendering is bravery at its finest.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (IDPbH)

482 If you as an adult insist no one be allowed to eat peanuts because you're allergic to them.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (Halhc)

483 Uh, what's wrong with the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial?
Actually I heard a vet in a documentary say something along the lines of 'When you drive around Washington, all you see are big, tall white marble monuments as far as the eye can see and they gave us a big black hole in the ground" although I realize you weren't talking about that. And Gork can defend his remark on his own but I took it to mean that war memorials are bad unless its architecture is something I approve of.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (lJXY3)

484 if you think that letting your husband cheat on you for thirty or forty years is a fair price to pay for a shot at the presdency.

Posted by: mallflower on the range at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (b7fwp)

485 An American filing suit against an ex-pat Brit in a Portuguese court?

It's crazy, but it just might work!

Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (JBggj)

486 "If you ever drank a beer at a job interview..."

-Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:15 PM (qUNWi)



You're doing it wrong.

I know. Really, who hasn't?

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (qJhUV)

487 468 If you think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk....
Posted by: eleven
-----------------

Flag on the play.
That is most definitely a Moron maneuver.

Posted by: AoS Styleguide at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (7FzSq)

488 If you own a homemade fur coat....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (qUNWi)

489 Yeah. Portugal is just FULL of boom towns. It's GOING GREAT over there. /sarc.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:17 PM (qgUJH)

Lisbon was a boom town ca. 1755
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1755_Lisbon_earthquake

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (7qAYi)

490 I snared my second (and best ever) job over a beer...or ten. That was back in the day when you didn't have to pontificate on what kind of a tree you would be to land the gig.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (Tyii7)

491 You Might Be A Democrat...

...if you think imposing import trade restrictions in the form of punitive tariffs is good for the economy.


Kind of agree... but can't you let us just enjoy all the ass-kicking for a little while longer?

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (4bKiB)

492 ..if you think the Crusades were started by Christian aggression against peaceful Muslims in their homeland
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 09:17 PM (39g3+)
------------

I've had THAT discussion far too many times.

"You realize that ALL of that was Christian right? For the better part of a millennium. And the Muslims didn't exactly send 'missionaries' to convert them."

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (qgUJH)

493 If you think all public spaces should appeal to your specific tastes, for freedom.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (0Veb5)

494 If you think burning the rainbow flag is a "hate crime", but burning the US flag is "speech"...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (kP16F)

495 If you call Trump anti-Immigrant, then make a joke about his foreign born wife's accent.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (wD9H7)

496 Eleven is doing it wrong. If he doesn't stop, I'm going to dress-up like a vagina and scream people down.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:20 PM (6gk0M)

497 You might be a Democrat if you haven't actually voted for one since Obama was nominated the first time as President,t but haven't actually bothered to change your voter registration. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 26, 2017 09:20 PM (fDdVG)

498 If you say "undocumented immigrants" but lock your doors when you go to bed at night.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:20 PM (Halhc)

499 If you fly around the world in a private jet to give lectures on how planes are destroying the planet.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:21 PM (wD9H7)

500 Oh, and a muslim too in "Occupied" Virtue signal heaven as far as I can see.

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 09:21 PM (7qAYi)

501 ...if you think a man who met two women from Eastern Europe in a row and brought them home to wed them is anti-immigrant

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 09:21 PM (39g3+)

502 Not seeing any news about Tucker Carlson. Pretty sure he is alive.

Posted by: Sippin_bourbon at January 26, 2017 09:21 PM (5Z34V)

503 If you watched 12 Years a Slave and thought that it portrayed the black American experience as it is today.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:21 PM (0Veb5)

504 If you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:21 PM (qUNWi)

505 If you live in a gated community but oppose building a border wall.

** Well this applies to plenty of Republicans too like our fearless leader in the House Puke Ryan.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (wD9H7)

506 497 You might be a Democrat if you haven't actually voted for one since Obama was nominated the first time as President,t but haven't actually bothered to change your voter registration. ;^)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 26, 2017 09:20 PM (fDdVG)

Tsk tsk. Sloth is one of the deadly sins, ya know.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (0mRoj)

507 If you live in a gated community while opposing border enforcement.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (Halhc)

508 If you wear a custom made machine washable vinyl-plushy pussyhat to an encore performance of The Vagina Monologues, but suddenly realise you're standing at the nave in the local Russian Orthodox Church airguitaring one of Pussy Riot's lesser known songs - and totally go for it with solid downstrokes, but suddenly realize that you're in fact furiously rubbing one off.. in the back of a police car, three blocks from the Washington Mall.

Posted by: 13times at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (WHVu+)

509 You insist you believe in science, but condemn with extreme venom anyone who points out taking hormones and a sex change does not change their DNA.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (hVdx9)

510 if you believe when comes the revolution ...

... you'll be in charge

Posted by: Bigby's Ouija Board at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (U0lQa)

511 Tucker Carlson didn't die at approximately 8:15 this morning. He was not in an automobile accident that claimed three lives.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (6gk0M)

512 If you think burning the rainbow flag is a "hate crime", but burning the US flag is "speech"...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at January 26, 2017 09:19 PM (kP16F)


If you think the "hate" part of a hate crime is more serious than the actual "crime" part of a "hate crime"!

Posted by: Hrothgar at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (UDXti)

513 However, a big orange Tom cat would be nice too.


Posted by: shibumi, frequent Warrior Princess and kitty cat staff at January 26, 2017 08:54 PM (J5mC3)



Im your huckleberry.

Posted by: Bengal Tiger at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (Kz5ms)

514 I you consider yourself a tech geek but think vegetables should forever be harvested by myriad Mexican helots in the fields . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (GsAUU)

515 Posted by: RD Walker at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (ASayv)

=====================

Mark Levin was really excoriating Trump tonight (for some of the reasons you mention) ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (mt8X9)

516 If you think wanting to keep what your earn means you are greedy,

but wanting to seize other people's earnings and redistribute them means you are noble.

Posted by: Jade Sea at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (QzGX6)

517 Missed it by that much.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (Halhc)

518 502 Not seeing any news about Tucker Carlson. Pretty sure he is alive.
Posted by: Sippin_bourbon at January 26, 2017 09:21 PM (5Z34V)


'E's restin'.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (sdi6R)

519 If you were shooting pool when any of your kids were born....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (qUNWi)

520 ...if you think how you felt about the victim makes murder worse.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (39g3+)

521 You fund all sorts of anti-gun groups and yet have an army of armed body guards with you 24/7.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (wD9H7)

522 512 If you think the "hate" part of a hate crime is more serious than the actual "crime" part of a "hate crime"!
Posted by: Hrothgar at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (UDXti)

===================

My high school history teacher (who was black, a former marine, and had done 3 tours in Vietnam) once went on a tirade against hate crimes.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (0Veb5)

523 #502: Yeah, I was a little worried, myself, but on a second look I got the feeling from the comments that it was similar to Buzzion's untimely demise.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (0OG8D)

524 If you think requiring ID is voter suppression but New Black Panthers with nightsticks outside the polling place is just peachy.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (0mRoj)

525 As God as my witness, I thought I could fly.

Posted by: Mr. Tucker Carlson at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (gTQoY)

526 An American filing suit against an ex-pat Brit in a Portuguese court?

It's crazy, but it just might work!
Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (JBggj)
----------------

What could be more fun?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (qgUJH)

527 you are definitely a democrat is you think FDR saved the country.

Posted by: mallflower on the range at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (b7fwp)

528 If you believe a Christian baker should be punished for refusing to do business with a group of people but that Corporations that refuse to do business with an entire State are righteous .... You may be an asshole , bag of dicks eating Democrat.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (IDPbH)

529 ...If you ever believed eggs were bad for you

Posted by: Batterup at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (mtGE/)

530 Mark Levin was really excoriating Trump tonight (for some of the reasons you mention) ...
Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (mt8X9)

___

What's up with him? Is he still NeverTrump? I never quite understood why he hated Trump so much.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (wD9H7)

531 If you think it's anti-racist to believe that black people are not capable of getting a state photo ID.

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (10LGw)

532 518 502 Not seeing any news about Tucker Carlson. Pretty sure he is alive.
Posted by: Sippin_bourbon at January 26, 2017 09:21 PM (5Z34V)

'E's restin'.
Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (sdi6R)

'E's pinin' for the fnords.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (0mRoj)

533 91 If you want a free Tibet, but are unwilling to do anything that would free Tibet.

Hey! Tha'ts me! Not really "free" but really cheap and easy.

Posted by: free tibet, with purchase of equal or greater value tibet at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (CL76w)

534 I'm feeling much bettah!

Posted by: Dan Carlson at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (Tyii7)

535 If you're dead and still vote ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (mt8X9)

536 If National Socialism = BAD but International Socialism = GOOD

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (oVJmc)

537 If you want government to be more involved in your healthcare decisions, but think that the entire Republican Party, which would have a very large say in those healthcare decisions, are terrorists.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (0Veb5)

538 If you think Mumia Abu-Jamal is a political prisoner.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (5VlCp)

539 If you think humans killing animals is a horrendous evil, but not animals killing animals or humans killing their babies.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (rH4JY)

540 ...If you are a believer in the longest running war - the War for Poverty

Posted by: Batterup at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (mtGE/)

541 I knew I couldn't fly but I wanted to copy what Tucker was doing.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at January 26, 2017 09:26 PM (gTQoY)

542 If you were shooting pool when any of your kids were born....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (qUNWi)


Watch it , bro'!

Posted by: Hrothgar at January 26, 2017 09:26 PM (UDXti)

543 If you think all the cops are criminals and all the sinners saints...you might be Mick Jagger.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:26 PM (0mRoj)

544 If you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:26 PM (qUNWi)

545 "What's up with him? Is he still NeverTrump? I never quite understood why he hated Trump so much."
-Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (wD9H7)

He was NOT NeverTrump, sir. Coming down on a Constitutionalist will only bring you woe.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:27 PM (6gk0M)

546 Posted by: andycanuck at January 26, 2017 09:18 PM (lJXY3)


I've never seen the actual monument except with pictures, but I did see that traveling one years ago with my sister.

It was moving even though it was a miniature. They also had letters there from some of the soldiers. The one we read was a young guy who went on and on about how he'd been a total fuck up who hadn't gotten his shit together but now that he was in the military in Vietnam they'd whipped him into shape and he was sure he was going to make something of himself when he got home.

I got a lump the size of a baseball in my throat. My sister, who can be a heartless bitch, couldn't say a word. We didn't speak the whole way home...

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:27 PM (4ErVI)

547 If you think they'll recognize your virtue signalling and let you help load us in the train cars.

"Wait! No! I'm one of you! "

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:27 PM (n8ff/)

548 >> If you're dead and still vote ...

Go on, I'm taking notes...

Posted by: Zombie Tucker at January 26, 2017 09:27 PM (gTQoY)

549 If running your mouth on Twitter has ever cost you your job...

Posted by: mikeski at January 26, 2017 09:27 PM (TXZ1v)

550 502 Not seeing any news about Tucker Carlson. Pretty sure he is alive.
Posted by: Sippin_bourbon
------------------

Was Pastor Fenelon talking about him recently?
News may not have hit the wires yet...

Posted by: Purgatory at January 26, 2017 09:27 PM (7FzSq)

551 You are worried that ending the American embargo (business and tourism) against Cuba will "ruin" Cuba.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at January 26, 2017 09:28 PM (hVdx9)

552 Posted by: Voter dude at January 26, 2017 08:33 PM (UMBaD)

Made me laugh too.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 26, 2017 09:28 PM (fDdVG)

553 If you want the government out of your uterus but the taxpayers to pay for your IUDs...

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:28 PM (0mRoj)

554 551 You are worried that ending the American embargo (business and tourism) against Cuba will "ruin" Cuba.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at January 26, 2017 09:28 PM (hVdx9)

===================

If you think life on Cuba is quaint but America is oppressive.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at January 26, 2017 09:28 PM (0Veb5)

555 You think Trump supporters are not "allowed in your space" while on a plane.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at January 26, 2017 09:29 PM (hVdx9)

556 If the taillight covers of your car are made of red tape....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:29 PM (qUNWi)

557 If National Socialism = BAD but International Socialism = GOOD

Posted by: Mr. Peebles
________

... you might be a moderate?

Posted by: FireHorse at January 26, 2017 09:29 PM (baz6p)

558 Some of the "you might be a redneck" could work for "you might be a Democrat:

If you missed 8th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

If your mom walked you to school because you were in the same grade together.

Posted by: Jade Sea at January 26, 2017 09:29 PM (QzGX6)

559 You might be a Democrat if...

...you agree with Bernie Sanders on the need to increase import tariffs and think Milton Friedman supported free trade because he didn't understand economics.

Posted by: RD Walker at January 26, 2017 09:29 PM (ASayv)

560 If you think the cops are fascist no-goodniks, but you call 911 because the neighbor kids are swimming in your pool at 3 am

Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 09:29 PM (JBggj)

561 530 Mark Levin was really excoriating Trump tonight (for some of the reasons you mention) ...
Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:23 PM (mt8X9)

___

What's up with him? Is he still NeverTrump? I never quite understood why he hated Trump so much.
Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (wD9H7)


I read that his son worked on the Cruz campaign, so he may not be exactly disinterested.

He claims that he was not NeverTrump, but he sounds like he only voted for Trump because somebody was threatening to shove bamboo shoots under his fingernails if he didn't.

I used to be a big fan, but I find him hard to listen to anymore.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (sdi6R)

562 You thought it was funny when Obama said "tea-baggers" on TV, but you're worried that Trump will debase the office of the presidency.

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (10LGw)

563 If you want a free Tibet, but are unwilling to do anything that would free Tibet.


Except put a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker on your car.
Maybe.

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (qJhUV)

564 If you get "triggered" without having been in combat or otherwise subject to actual trauma...

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (0mRoj)

565 If you do not think Patton Oswalt looks like a lesbian.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (rH4JY)

566 If you've ever stolen toilet paper....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (qUNWi)

567 You are worried that ending the American embargo (business and tourism) against Cuba will "ruin" Cuba.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at January 26, 2017 09:28 PM (hVdx9)

===================

If you think life on Cuba is quaint but America is oppressive.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison
****

You think Che Guevera was a man of the people, but that Reagan and Thatcher were imperialist scum.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (hVdx9)

568 If you for burning the American flag EXCEPT when it's a hajib....

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (RiIhf)

569 Tsk tsk. Sloth is one of the deadly sins, ya know.
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (0mRoj)

Ever heard the old joke. "Sloth is one of the seven deadly sons....and I prefer the lively ones." ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (fDdVG)

570 You think Mexico canceling a meeting with Trump is the equivalent of WW3

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (wD9H7)

571 Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:27 PM (4ErVI)

Frankly, I thought the concept was stupid...then I went there!

Posted by: Hrothgar at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (UDXti)

572 If you tear up at gay "weddings"...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (kP16F)

573 If you're dead and still vote ...


Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:25 PM (mt8X9)

respect ! good one

Posted by: runner at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (c6/9Q)

574 ...if you think Howard Zinn is a great historian

...if you believe the Renaissance came from Muslim Spain

...if you think windmills don't kill birds

...if you believe GMO vegetables are a capitalist plot

...if you think the Rosenbergs were innocent

...if you don't think John Kerry was a traitor

...if you are more interested in Santa Claus than Jesus

...if you think all religions are equal

Posted by: Caliban at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (3GFMN)

575 560 If you think the cops are fascist no-goodniks, but you call 911 because the neighbor kids are swimming in your pool at 3 am someone is legally carrying a firearm openly...
Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 09:29 PM (JBggj)

Just a variation.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (0mRoj)

576 If you've ever keyed a car because you didn't like the bumper stickers...

Posted by: mikeski at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (TXZ1v)

577 Tsk tsk. Sloth is one of the deadly sins, ya know.
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (0mRoj)


but baby sloths are soooooooooo cute!

Posted by: Adriane is Easily Confused ... at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (AoK0a)

578 If you think Genetically modified food is bad, but genetically modified people are good, you might be a democrat.

Posted by: cicero Kaboom! kid at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (Kz5ms)

579 I read that his son worked on the Cruz campaign, so he may not be exactly disinterested.

He claims that he was not NeverTrump, but he sounds like he only voted for Trump because somebody was threatening to shove bamboo shoots under his fingernails if he didn't.

I used to be a big fan, but I find him hard to listen to anymore.
Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (sdi6R)

____

Ahh the Cruz connection, that explains it.

I've never liked his style. The always angry, shouting thing. Smart guy for sure but not my cup of tea.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (wD9H7)

580 525 As God as my witness, I thought I could fly.
Posted by: Mr. Tucker Carlson
---------------

Take note folks.
THIS is how you hit "threadwinner."

I tip my hat & bow out, ma'am.

Posted by: Chi at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (7FzSq)

581 He claims that he was not NeverTrump, but he sounds like he only voted for Trump because somebody was threatening to shove bamboo shoots under his fingernails if he didn't.

I used to be a big fan, but I find him hard to listen to anymore.
Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (sdi6R)

He just won't let go of trade as his hot button issue. I find it hard to believe that anyone would get their panties in an uproar over "free" trade.

Posted by: josephistan at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (7qAYi)

582 If you tear up at gay "weddings"...

If you go to gay "weddings"...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (qJhUV)

583 576 If you've ever keyed a car because you didn't like the bumper stickers...
Posted by: mikeski at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (TXZ1v)


I'm calling threadwinner.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (sdi6R)

584 If you have ever used lard in bed.....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (qUNWi)

585 If you think that kindergarteners are ready for sex ed, but you call the cops when you see an eleven-year-old walking to the park unaccompanied.

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (10LGw)

586 569 Tsk tsk. Sloth is one of the deadly sins, ya know.
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:22 PM (0mRoj)

Ever heard the old joke. "Sloth is one of the seven deadly sons....and I prefer the lively ones." ;^)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (fDdVG)

#JustThePunchline

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (0mRoj)

587 If you think America has no culture ...

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (qgUJH)

588 If you think one group of people should be made to wear body cameras but that the videos should only be used to damage their own reputation with the public.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (Halhc)

589 If you dress up like an anarchist, assault people and if they fight back you ...............call for the cops and hug your fellow masked anarchist.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (RiIhf)

590 If you think all religious beliefs are obviously false, but the belief that government can fix all ills is obviously true.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:33 PM (rH4JY)

591 What's up with him? Is he still NeverTrump? I never quite understood why he hated Trump so much.

Posted by: #neverskankles at January 26, 2017 09:24 PM (wD9H7)

====================

The very uncompromising and principled Levin applauds it when Trump (or anybody for that matter) speaks and behaves like a True Conservative, but hits them hard when not.

Don't think he was ever a NeverTrumper (was behind Cruz all the way), and said he'd support him after he won the primary -- with serious reservations and, of course, prefering any R over Hillary.

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:33 PM (mt8X9)

592 If you Hate Nazis but adore soros

Posted by: willow at January 26, 2017 09:33 PM (R7cwD)

593 #JustThePunchline
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:32 PM (0mRoj)


RECTUM? DAMN NEAR KILLED EM!!!

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:33 PM (qgUJH)

594 572 If you tear up at gay "weddings"...
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at January 26, 2017 09:31 PM (kP16F)

The tearing up takes place at the gay honeymoon.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:33 PM (0mRoj)

595 Ok.....now I'm starting to believe Jeff Foxworthy may have been a comedic genius.

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:34 PM (qUNWi)

596 RECTUM? DAMN NEAR KILLED EM!!!
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:33 PM (qgUJH)

I only knew the punchline to that joke for YEARS until I finally decided to look it up.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:34 PM (0mRoj)

597 Reading most of these (Just because I'm too tired to read all of them makes) I realize that I must never have been a Democrat. It was a case of identity theft.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (fDdVG)

598 If a baby is a punishment but 35 years for treason is too harsh, you might just be a traitorous fucking democrat

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (kqtMD)

599 If you Hate Nazis but adore soros


If you hate fascists, but are one...you may be a redneck.

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (qUNWi)

600 548 >> If you're dead and still vote ...

Go on, I'm taking notes...

Posted by: Zombie Tucker at January 26, 2017 09:27 PM (gTQoY)

================

LOL.

Posted by: ShainS at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (mt8X9)

601 I only knew the punchline to that joke for YEARS until I finally decided to look it up.
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:34 PM (0mRoj)

------------i

I've only ever needed the punchline thankyouverymuch!

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (qgUJH)

602 To be fair, I think Mark Levin was just as shrill about Romney in 2012. He is a true pure conservative. At least as he defines it.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (IDPbH)

603 You insist that you are of the party of science while demanding genetically modified food should be done away with.
All while not understanding that man has genetically modified food for centuries.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (hVdx9)

604 You might be a Democrat if you think Jerry Seinfeld s' jokes are too patriarch normative to allow him to perform at any college.

Posted by: Corona at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (OjrER)

605 IT'S FUNNY CUZ RECTUM SOUNDS LIKE RECKED HIM!

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (7qAYi)

606 If "57 states" and "Marine corpse" are excusable, but "nuke-you-ler" is a sign of sub-simian intelligence...

(If you don't know why "Marine corpse" would need to be excused, you are very much totally...)

Posted by: mikeski at January 26, 2017 09:36 PM (TXZ1v)

607 I've only ever needed the punchline thankyouverymuch!
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (qgUJH)


You do you, man.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:36 PM (0mRoj)

608 Rectum!? Damn near killed em!!!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at January 26, 2017 09:36 PM (qgUJH)

609 If you don't know the difference between the economic systems of fascism, communism, capitalism, corporatism yet you scream "Nazi" at the right when the nazis were national socialists...

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2017 09:37 PM (RiIhf)

610 Rectum? Damn near killed 'em, ese!

Posted by: Carlos Mencia at January 26, 2017 09:37 PM (0mRoj)

611 You do you, man.
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:36 PM (0mRoj)
---------------

Someone has to.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:37 PM (qgUJH)

612 If you dress up in black, smash windows, set fires, and assault people, and call them Fascists.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:37 PM (sdi6R)

613 If directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road.".....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:38 PM (qUNWi)

614 611 You do you, man.
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:36 PM (0mRoj)
---------------

Someone has to.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:37 PM (qgUJH)

*snort*

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:38 PM (0mRoj)

615 off topic

WaPo: Japan isn't too sure about Trump, but they love Ivanka

https://t.co/OJH9zjefDr

"Ivanka-san is the perfect woman."

Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 09:38 PM (Om16U)

616 If you think Islam is empowering to women . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:38 PM (GsAUU)

617 If you view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls.....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:39 PM (qUNWi)

618 If your porch collapses and kills more than two hound dogs...

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:39 PM (0mRoj)

619 If you say you hate fascism but espouse government involvement from cradle to grave and an economic system where everything of consequence is owned by a party-loyal oligarch who'll do the state's bidding, you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at January 26, 2017 09:39 PM (X52ZZ)

620 To be fair, I think Mark Levin was just as shrill about Romney in 2012. He is a true pure conservative. At least as he defines it.Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 09:35 PM (IDPbH)


1. The truconservatives are self-defined imperious losers.
2. Levin has irritated himself out of my hearing forever.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2017 09:39 PM (RiIhf)

621 613 If directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road.".....
Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:38 PM (qUNWi)

--Dude. Be original.

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:39 PM (GsAUU)

622 He claims that he was not NeverTrump, but he sounds like he only voted for Trump because somebody was threatening to shove bamboo shoots under his fingernails if he didn't.

I used to be a big fan, but I find him hard to listen to anymore.
Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:30 PM (sdi6R)

For someone without giant eyes & tentacles, I guess

Posted by: Anime fans at January 26, 2017 09:39 PM (7qAYi)

623 If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on baby let me know.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 26, 2017 09:40 PM (rH4JY)

624 you might be a democrat.... if you put carrots in chili!

Posted by: anonymous at January 26, 2017 09:40 PM (c6/9Q)

625 Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:38 PM (GsAUU)

If you think islam is a religion...

Posted by: Hrothgar at January 26, 2017 09:40 PM (UDXti)

626 606 If "57 states
--------------

This thing has always bothered me.
He thin ought there were 60 States.
Watch 30 seconds :

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EpGH02DtIws

Posted by: Chi at January 26, 2017 09:40 PM (7FzSq)

627 Ivanka Trump hentai in 3... 2...1...

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (qgUJH)

628 I'm shallow but I can't stand Levin's voice and delivery.
Always outraged and never humorous.

Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (Om16U)

629 If your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.....





ok ok I'll stop. I'm getting complaints.

Wait...one more.

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (qUNWi)

630 Just heard a new euphemism a gay guy. At least new for me.

Canal Pal

Heh

nttiawwt

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (IDPbH)

631 *If the taillight covers of your car are made of red tape....
Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:29 PM (qUNWi)*

If you don't put red tape over holes in your taillight and get stopped by the police, you are in Texas.

Don't ask me how i know this.

Posted by: tbodie at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (H/5vA)

632 If you believe an illegal working under the table for $18k/year is contributing to society when he's got four kids enrolled in public school.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (Halhc)

633 603 You insist that you are of the party of science while demanding genetically modified food should be done away with claiming that science works by consensus and majority rule.

Posted by: rickl at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (sdi6R)

634 If you believe supreme executive power derives itself from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony...you might be named Dennis.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (0mRoj)

635 If you think American culture is boorish and that more immigration from Mexico and Syria is totally awesome . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:42 PM (GsAUU)

636 You might be a democrat if you think conservatives are anti-science, but havent taken a science class since high school despite working towards your PhD dissertation

Posted by: Alan Turing at January 26, 2017 09:42 PM (DpOmP)

637 Trump has a desk on Air Force One? Did Barky know that it was for doing work at?


woe... ad for a group suing Jehovah's Witnesses for child sex abuse? just saw it on Fox Biz.

Posted by: mallflower on the range at January 26, 2017 09:42 PM (b7fwp)

638 If you hate Christianity because it's "patriarchal," but think it's wonderful that Muslim women wear hijabs nd burkas.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at January 26, 2017 09:42 PM (nQ10o)

639 If you think this nation was founded by idiots and run by geniuses...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at January 26, 2017 09:42 PM (kP16F)

640 Canal Pal

Heh

nttiawwt
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (IDPbH)
----------

Is anyone else aware of the term "friends of dorothy?"

Or just me?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:42 PM (qgUJH)

641 If you see "literal Nazis" everywhere November 9, 2016

Posted by: Just a guy at January 26, 2017 09:42 PM (3CFdj)

642 You might be a Democrat if you think that a person not letting you tax his money from him is actually him stealing from you.

Posted by: davidt at January 26, 2017 09:43 PM (XoldI)

643 If you can't understand the difference between legal and illegal immigration, you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at January 26, 2017 09:43 PM (X52ZZ)

644 Trump is too old to be president but Hillary isn't.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 26, 2017 09:43 PM (lJXY3)

645 One more.


If you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding....

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:43 PM (qUNWi)

646 Doonarudo Toraanpu, Doonarudo Toraanpu...

Posted by: The Japanese narrator from that one episode of South Park at January 26, 2017 09:43 PM (0OG8D)

647 IF YOU WANT TO TURN THOSE MACHINES BACK ON!!!

Posted by: Hillary! at January 26, 2017 09:44 PM (qJhUV)

648 Hey.

Hey.


HEY!

Dis is aribarary.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:44 PM (qgUJH)

649 when he's got four kids enrolled in public school.
...and they get medical treatment for anything at a hospital ER for free.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 26, 2017 09:44 PM (lJXY3)

650 If you believe that women make 70% what men make but companies still hire men...

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:45 PM (qgUJH)

651 If you think the Austrians speak Austrian

Posted by: Just a guy at January 26, 2017 09:45 PM (3CFdj)

652 If you believe that being shocked by or even just uneasy with the day's weather proves global warming- you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: t-bird at January 26, 2017 09:45 PM (/wWB4)

653 If Sam is your father and not your uncle.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:45 PM (Halhc)

654 If you need a "life hack" to figure out how to clip your toenails or introduce yourself to another human being, you are a Democrat.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:45 PM (4ErVI)

655 Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2017 09:39 PM (RiIhf)

I made that decision in 2012.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at January 26, 2017 09:45 PM (IDPbH)

656 If you don't put red tape over holes in your taillight and get stopped by the police, you are in Texas.

Don't ask me how i know this.
Posted by: tbodie at January 26, 2017 09:41 PM (H/5vA)

---

*nods*

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 09:46 PM (CRotO)

657 If you love me.

Posted by: Pope Francis at January 26, 2017 09:46 PM (rH4JY)

658 ok...

If you think profits are horrible but you live in a house in the Hollywood Hills....


Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:46 PM (qUNWi)

659 If you think only certain elections have consequences

Posted by: Just a guy at January 26, 2017 09:46 PM (3CFdj)

660 If you believe that marijuana is perfectly okay and cigarettes should be banned, you might be a Democrat.

If you believe that everything you disagree with should be banned, you are a Democrat.

Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at January 26, 2017 09:46 PM (X52ZZ)

661 If you think dressing up as an Indian for halloween is cultural appropriation and racist. You might be a democrat.

Posted by: CaliGirl at January 26, 2017 09:47 PM (8cEQL)

662 If you think Steve Jobs was great but Brandon Eich is the devil...

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:47 PM (qgUJH)

663 If you think children need a doctor's note for aspirin at school, but abortion without parents' knowledge is a right.

Posted by: Monika at January 26, 2017 09:47 PM (SJphO)

664 you might be a democrat...if you send your kids to private school, while financing your campaign with teacher's union money

Posted by: runner at January 26, 2017 09:47 PM (c6/9Q)

665 You might be a Democrat if you think your shit don't stink.

Posted by: davidt at January 26, 2017 09:47 PM (XoldI)

666 If you believe that you can talk to people like they're dumber than your dog, and still think that the reason you lost is that you haven't explained things adequately to the unwashed masses, you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at January 26, 2017 09:47 PM (X52ZZ)

667 If you think the troops should wear red FMHs with ACUs to show solidarity.

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (CRotO)

668 Wow all of you really went to town on this thread... did you go around the bend and off the cliff also??


Posted by: Anna Puma at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (L79Xv)

669 If you oppose a security wall along the southern US border, but attempt to build a private fence on a public Malibu beach

Posted by: mrp at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (JBggj)

670 Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at January 26, 2017 09:46 PM (X52ZZ)
If everything you believe should be mandatory, you might be a democrat.

Posted by: CaliGirl at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (8cEQL)

671 So you're saying you need to put red tape over a busted tail light in Texas and that's considered good by the cops?

Hmm. No idea how that would work here. I'm thinking it wouldn't.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (4ErVI)

672 If you think Jane Fonda is a brave fighter.

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (CRotO)

673 If you think guns "have more rights" than your vagina...

Posted by: Monika at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (SJphO)

674 I only knew the punchline to that joke for YEARS until I finally decided to look it up.
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:34 PM (0mRoj)


There's a joke that goes with that line?

Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (Om16U)

675 If you'd call the police over an unaccompanied minor in your neighborhood unless they were getting an abortion.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (qgUJH)

676 If you treat the Constitution as if it were defunct, yet call it a "living document".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:49 PM (rH4JY)

677 Howdy, SMFH!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:49 PM (6gk0M)

678 Hey Slap.

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 09:50 PM (CRotO)

679 If you believe that certain whole races of people will never succeed without your enlightened help, but claim to hate racism, you might be a Democrat.

Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at January 26, 2017 09:50 PM (X52ZZ)

680 OT-Sidebar main page

0 days since last fake news incident.

LOL.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 26, 2017 09:50 PM (fDdVG)

681 ...if you think mincing up a few hundred bald eagles a year is small price to pay for enough power to run your coffee maker.

...if you think that school choice is evil, but send your child to a private school.

...if you think everything is for the children but kill your own.

...if you think executing a duly convicted murderer is unacceptable but killing helpless babies is perfectly fine

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 26, 2017 09:50 PM (39g3+)

682 If someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."...



I lied.

Posted by: eleven at January 26, 2017 09:51 PM (qUNWi)

683 If you piss and moan about Dead White Males but complain whenever you human rights are violated . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 26, 2017 09:51 PM (GsAUU)

684 This actually happened in CA.
If you're a California assemblyman and you want to pass a law that police officers should no longer aim for center mass and instead aim for extremities only, you are a democrat.

Posted by: CaliGirl at January 26, 2017 09:51 PM (8cEQL)

685 *waves to SMFH and Voter Mom*

Finally unearthed my first complete draft of story using for Patterson's class. With character sketches and very brief outline notes, it ran to over 66,000 words. Geez.

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 26, 2017 09:51 PM (L79Xv)

686 If your notions of morality involve the belief that race and gender are more important than actions.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:51 PM (rH4JY)

687 If try to be a tough guy on twitter, and when a RL tough guy takes you up on your offer, you back down...

http://tinypic.com/m/jqguug/1

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 09:52 PM (CRotO)

688 If you think a fetus is dead while the Constitution is living and breathing

Posted by: Hey ho Cooper at January 26, 2017 09:52 PM (M3DRt)

689 that's awesome, Anna

Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 09:52 PM (Om16U)

690 If you are a woman college student who signs a petition to end Women's Suffrage.

Posted by: JB1000 at January 26, 2017 09:52 PM (IuBrk)

691 If you feel a "thrill" going up your leg at the sound of Obama's voice...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at January 26, 2017 09:52 PM (kP16F)

692 If you think it's easier to buy a gun than a book...

Posted by: tu3031 at January 26, 2017 09:52 PM (qJhUV)

693 #668: You're asking that as if there are times when we don't go around the bend and over the cliff around here.

By the way... Hi, Anna!

Posted by: The Japanese narrator from that one episode of South Park at January 26, 2017 09:52 PM (0OG8D)

694 ONT

Posted by: Country Singer (BertG @Gab.ai) at January 26, 2017 09:52 PM (GUBah)

695 Anna!

Congrats!

Posted by: SMFH at January 26, 2017 09:53 PM (CRotO)

696 If you think guns are evil but live in a gated community and have private security you are a democrat.

Posted by: CaliGirl at January 26, 2017 09:53 PM (8cEQL)

697 ONT is NOOD!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Keeper of Cerberus), (Cold1), (T) at January 26, 2017 09:53 PM (6gk0M)

698 674 I only knew the punchline to that joke for YEARS until I finally decided to look it up.
Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:34 PM (0mRoj)


There's a joke that goes with that line?
Posted by: @votermom @vm at January 26, 2017 09:48 PM (Om16U)

Yes, there actually is!

Posted by: Insomniac at January 26, 2017 09:53 PM (0mRoj)

699 Tim Marchman is a pathetic little bitch.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at January 26, 2017 09:53 PM (qgUJH)

700 Off, kaiju-narratin' sock!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at January 26, 2017 09:53 PM (0OG8D)

701 *So you're saying you need to put red tape over a busted tail light in Texas and that's considered good by the cops?*

Red tape over a broken rear light lens cover.

Hypothetically speaking, i have no idea what the cop thought was good. In theory it might have just been, "stop me so we could discuss this" kind of thing.

Posted by: tbodie at January 26, 2017 09:53 PM (H/5vA)

702 You might be a Democrat if you are a woman wearing only one shoe and will never be President.

Posted by: davidt at January 26, 2017 09:54 PM (XoldI)

703 If you criticize others for being "ignorant" while demonstrating your own ignorance of economics, civics, theology, history, science, psychology, grammar, and any other easily Googleable topics.

Posted by: weew at January 26, 2017 09:54 PM (6EH85)

704 If you think the gun is evil and the penis is evil.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 26, 2017 09:54 PM (rH4JY)

705 If you bawl like a baby after firing one round from an AR-15...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at January 26, 2017 09:54 PM (kP16F)

706 If you think Trump hates all immigrants, and are oblivious to the fact that Melania is a Slovenian immigrant . . .

Posted by: filbert at January 26, 2017 09:56 PM (s5o+q)

707 if u think drugs should be legal but red meat and sugar should be banned...

Posted by: duncan at January 26, 2017 09:57 PM (XKLkE)

708 Bender over the fender and rear end her

-Vito Vasalino

Posted by: Voter dude at January 26, 2017 09:58 PM (UMBaD)

709 If you keep posting on this thread when there's a nood ONT . . .

Posted by: filbert at January 26, 2017 09:58 PM (s5o+q)

710 If you need lessons on how to talk to real people.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at January 26, 2017 09:59 PM (Halhc)

711 If you're jackin it in San Diego

Posted by: Voter dude at January 26, 2017 10:00 PM (UMBaD)

712 If you think that failing to consider someone's skin color is racism, you might be you are definitely a Democrat.

Posted by: t-bird at January 26, 2017 10:01 PM (8zL5i)

713 If you think communism is all warm and fuzzy, and capitalism is pure unadulterated greed, you might be a democrat.

Posted by: booknlass at January 26, 2017 10:02 PM (8mO0Q)

714 If a man shaves his armpits,
and his girlfriend doesn't,
they might be democrats...

Posted by: mrt721 at January 26, 2017 10:03 PM (JeAp+)

715 If you don't know the difference between "banned" and "not paid for or provided by the government/taxpayers".

Posted by: Secret Square at January 26, 2017 10:07 PM (9WuX0)

716 If you think climate change is "settled science", but determining a person's gender isn't...

Posted by: qsclues at January 26, 2017 10:07 PM (iDYMq)

717 If you think Barack Obama was born in Hawaii...

Posted by: freak at January 26, 2017 10:10 PM (IRq9H)

718 If you are more upset about a man saying he can grab pussy then the fact that no man wants to grab yours.

The End

Posted by: Batterup at January 26, 2017 10:16 PM (mtGE/)

719 Actually, I'm pretty with phasing out tobacco and legalizing marijuana.

Posted by: Mitchell at January 26, 2017 10:16 PM (YV8XJ)

720 If you own a Chili's restaurant and think it's a good idea to encourage your customers to support Planned Parenthood.

Posted by: Glenn John at January 26, 2017 10:20 PM (0l7ij)

721 Lastish? Is that a word?

Posted by: Glenn John at January 26, 2017 10:25 PM (0l7ij)

722 If you think that someone that is going to a college campus to kill as many people as he can gives a sh-t if it's a "Gun Free Zone".

Posted by: The Architect at January 26, 2017 10:52 PM (TKhKG)

723 if you think raising taxes will solve the country's problems

Posted by: ustuplay at January 26, 2017 11:31 PM (olvG6)

724 IF you don't worry about the size of the national debt.

Posted by: ustuplay at January 26, 2017 11:32 PM (olvG6)

725 If you think aborting 50 million Americans since 1973 and replacing them with 30 million immigrants is a good thing.

Posted by: jmulcahy at January 26, 2017 11:36 PM (VvGtf)

726 If you think the US Constitution is "undemocratic", because of the way the Electoral College and Senate are set up, and yet think "elite" minorities should pass federal laws dictating what majorities should do.

Posted by: Noam Sayen at January 26, 2017 11:58 PM (611Lm)

727 If you think that gambling is an excellent way to fund education.

Posted by: furious at January 27, 2017 12:46 AM (fJQAR)

728 If you think you still might save $2500 a year on premiums under Obamacare.

If you believe in Shovel - Ready jobs.

If you believe that calling voters Deplorable, Irredeemable, racist, bigot, homophobe, Nazi, xenophobe, Islamophobe, etc. helps convince them they should vote for your favorite candidate.

If you think that (C) on classified emails stands for Classified.

If you think making crude remarks disqualifies a man from running for office, but committing perjury in a sexual assault case while holding office doesn't.

If you protest artificial hormones in beef but take birth control pills regularly.

If you think Mexican is a race.

Posted by: MajorStu at January 27, 2017 01:10 AM (qz5Gs)

729 Dear Muse,

This might be the sweetest thread I ever read.
Sincerely - D.

PS:
I'm copying and pasting these "you might be"'s because 99% of them so PERFECTLY capture insight blended perfectly with comedy.
Thanks again.

Posted by: Stoic Trumpublican at January 27, 2017 01:50 AM (dDOWg)

730 ...If you think a fetus is just a clump of cells - not even alive, much less human - but is capable of deciding it is homosexual or "gender fluid"...

Posted by: BADKarma at January 27, 2017 01:54 AM (eRPEr)

731 The facts of life are conservative .....Maggie Thatcher.

Posted by: BrownYom at January 27, 2017 05:07 AM (YS31l)

732 If you embrace multiculturalism but mock a man because his family name was changed when they emigrated here...

Posted by: Momma at January 27, 2017 05:16 AM (/kATs)

733 If you think John Stewart is intelligent...

Posted by: braininahat at January 27, 2017 05:22 AM (7KoHa)

734 If you've ever written "herstory" instead of "history"....

Posted by: braininahat at January 27, 2017 05:23 AM (7KoHa)

735 If you've ever said, "I thought about joining the military once, but...."....

Posted by: braininahat at January 27, 2017 05:24 AM (7KoHa)

736 If you've ever thought, "I should have cut out bigger holes,"....

Posted by: braininahat at January 27, 2017 05:26 AM (7KoHa)

737 If you think Lincoln was a Democrat...

Posted by: braininahat at January 27, 2017 05:28 AM (7KoHa)

738 You worry more about illegal aliens in Chicago than you worry about the people of Chicago.

Posted by: Viator at January 27, 2017 06:07 AM (Ueq18)

739 If you think Obama is a more popular ex-President than all the recent Republican ex-presidents.

Posted by: Viator at January 27, 2017 06:12 AM (Ueq18)

740 If you think putting cross hairs on a Congressional map to target vulnerable electoral seats is advocating assassination but actual real and overt assassination fantasies is muh first amendment patriotic right to act like children ...

Posted by: woody johnson at January 27, 2017 07:29 AM (5W99E)

741 If you are mad at the Russians for exposing corruption in the DNC, but not mad at the DNC for their corruption....

Posted by: freak at January 27, 2017 08:03 AM (IRq9H)

742 If you think Roe v. Wade is settled law, but the Bill of Rights is open to interpretation, you might be a democrat.

Posted by: tf8797 at January 27, 2017 09:04 AM (MImlj)

743 If you demand stricter gun control because you want to protect the lives of innocent children while simultaneously demanding fewer restrictions on abortion.

Posted by: Average Jen at January 27, 2017 09:48 AM (11v76)

744 143 What type of dog?

A good old American mutt straight off the streets.

Ho-Lee-Shit
Can you imagine the level of STFU if he actually got a rescue dog for the 'preidential dog'

Posted by: Fox at January 27, 2017 10:19 AM (DVC2D)

745 When you clamor for equal and/or higher wages, but won't get a F'king job!!

Posted by: RobG at January 27, 2017 12:54 PM (VIvNl)

746 If you think that the Castros, Kims, and Assads of the world are just trying to "help their people" while the major opposition party in a democracy is evil incarnate...

Posted by: Steve at January 27, 2017 03:18 PM (k4Ojg)

747 If you think Trump is an evil dictator but you want him to tear up the 2nd amendment.

Posted by: Stan at January 31, 2017 12:02 PM (n8g88)

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