December 18, 2007
Must Be Read To Be Believed: Woman Gropes Santa
A 33-year-old woman was charged with fourth-degree sexual assault Saturday after allegedly groping a man playing Santa Claus at the Danbury Fair mall. Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, is charged with fourth-degree sexual assault, according to Danbury Detective Lt. Thomas Michael. Two messages seeking comment were left on Lamy's answering machine. Details leading up to the alleged fondling are sketchy. "I don't know what the deal was. It was just bizarre," the mall Santa told a reporter, referring all other questions about the incident to Cherry Hill Photo, the company that runs the Danbury Fair mall Santa photo setup.I find this story particularly amusing for two reasons: I'm familiar with the mall where it happened and the fact that the guy playing Santa would mind getting his own Christmas goose. Considering the drudgery of spending all day playing Santa, I'd consider this to be a perk.
Posted by: Gary at 11:48 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
For All You Nervous Democrats, There Is Hope
...in a bottle: OxyClinton
Posted by: Gary at 11:18 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
"Don't Call Me Junior!"***
***The quote's a gimme but too apropos not to use.
Yesterday I received a poinsetta from St. LUTCBAJ in memorium, so the note said, on the first Christmas since Dad died. The note referred to Dad as Robert T. Llama, Sr. and to me as Robert T. Llama, Jr. This is not the case, however. Dad was Robert Z. Llama. As has long been the custom in our family, he and I shared the same first name but different middle names. I suppose it's my own fault - during his last illness, Dad was on the prayer list for a long time as "Robert Llama" and people kept coming up to me after services with startled looks on their faces and inquiries as to whether I was okay. Eventually, the entry was amended to "Robert Llama Sr." and the inquiries stopped, or at least changed in character. I didn't think it worth the bother to try and explain any further at the time. Nonetheless, this is the first I've seen him labelled as Robert T. Llama, Sr., and I must say that I find it both annoying and vaguely impersonalizing (if that's a word). I can't see that there's any point raising a stink with the church about it, since I don't see where the matter will come up again. But at least I can vent about it a bit here. Incidentally, the poinsetta itself was rayther a sickly and bedraggled specimen. I dunno whether this was just the luck of the draw or whether it was a subtle message that I'm still on Bishop Lee's Enemies List.Posted by: Robert at 09:20 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Random Commuter Observation II
Given the numbers of bags of cookies and whatnot and the large variety of truly hideous holiday ties, bows and sweaters I noticed on the metro this morning, I'd say I am definitely not the only person in Dee Cee on whom the annual office party is being inflicted today.
Posted by: Robert at 09:08 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Random Commuter Observation I
Each year for a week or so on either side of the solstice, the sun rises right along the axis of my street. On clear mornings like this one it is positively beautiful in a gloria Deo way, but it is also quite trying to navigate the traffic by the Braille method before I've had my first cup of coffee.
Posted by: Robert at 09:06 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
December 17, 2007
The Freaky-Deakiest Thing I've Read, EVAH!
Whoa.
Someone needs to keep this out of the hands of Harry Turtledove, Sherman, and Mr. Peabody.Posted by: Steve-O at 06:59 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Lost Shakespeare Play Discovered!
Robbo's RSS feeder went to eleven on that one.
The title? "Brady Bunch Star Threatens Separation Over Lesbian Photos. I can speak for the rest of America when I breathe a sigh of relief, noting that Alice B. Davis is nowhere mentioned in the article. Although you can now get that lost episode from the trip to Hawaii, when Alice and Carol were trapped in the volcano and thought they were going to die in an hour anyway, so......Posted by: Steve-O at 05:09 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Yeah, Good Luck With That One
New Clinton Campaign Out To Show Her Likeability.
Just keeping cackling, Senator...it's downright infectious. Not. HACKTACULAR YIPS from Steve-O:SEPARATED AT BIRTH, HISTORIKAL DIVISION YIPS from Steve-O: Restoration, indeed:
Or, to be polite, maybe we need a new campaign ad featuring Sir Walter Raleigh saying, "I knew the Faerie Queen. The Faerie Queen was a friend of mine. And ye, me lady, are no Faerie Queen."
Posted by: Gary at 03:03 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Writer's Strike Update
Strike still on?
Yep. You know what that means: our daily dose of Tina Fey/Liz Lemon.
Mmmmm, cookie. Denied fresh Tina/Liz, we'll have to get along with mere scraps. Here's "Ask Liz" Yips! from Robbo: Show of hands for everyone else out there who wishes Steve-O would explain this whole Tina Fey thing. I'm not seeing it. And I certainly can't be the only one. Head-scratching Yips! from Gary:
You're not, Robert. Don't quite get it myself. And I even share a birthday with her. Granted she's bright, with a decent sense of humor. But about 2.5 minutes into that clip my eyes started to glaze over and a couple of average-looking women here in the office started to seem more palatable by comparison. But if you like her, Steve, then of course we like her. Yips! back from Robbo: Oh, yes, of course. We're sure she's very nice, Steve.
Posted by: Steve-O at 02:02 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Gratuitous Llama Netflix Movie Review
As for That Bonaparte, he was played here by Rod Steiger, who I never really bought. My favorite Screen Napoleon is a tie between Ian Holm in Time Bandits and Terry Camilleri's (who?) in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Bill: You ditched Napoleon?
Ted: Deacon! Do you realize you've stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders in San Dimas?
Deacon: He was a dick!
UPDATE: BTW, my Netflix queue is beginning to run dry and I'm at a bit of a loss to know where to go next. Feel free to leave any recommendations you have in the comments. No zombie movies.
LAST EMPEROR YIPS from Steve-O:
And speaking of bad Napoleons, here's a cheezy linkwhore pshop circa 2004:
Posted by: Robert at 01:59 PM | Comments (20) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Summer 2008 countdown
The Dark Knight:
Oh my! WHERE IN THE WORLD IS STEVE-O: Grading today: done with the finals of two of the three classes, just catching up on a little scut work before scooting home for Mr. Skinny to get off the bus. More later. QUICK MITCHELL REPORT UPDATE: Obnoxiously hilarious Sawx Blog Surviving Grady has their take on the Roid Report and Eric Gagne. And Fire Joe Morgan eviscerates a reporter in one of the funniest beat downs I've seen in a long while.Posted by: Steve-O at 01:53 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
The Gob Squad
Jonathan V. Last over at Galley Slaves posts the news that Will Arnett is going to voice K.I.T.T. in the new Knight Rider movie and then goes on to have some fun with it.
I'm not going to explain - you'll have to link through yourself if you don't get it - but I love this idea and its potential implications. The other day I was talking to a colleague about one of our cases. He told me about the decision by higher ups not to pursue a particular legal theory (which, truth be told, was pretty far out there). I said, "Oh c'mon. What are they, chicken?" and started dancing about, going "COO-ka, COO-ka! COO-ka!" My friend, who obviously got the joke, nearly FOTFLHAO. Still confused? Buy this. And thank me later.Posted by: Robert at 01:14 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Say What?
I don't remember that she makes anything more than a very tiny appearance in the actual book. But ay, carumba! This is the sort of liberty I don't mind being taken so much (perhaps because Ms. Borrachero looks something like the Missus, albeit not quite so pretty). Posted by: Robert at 12:31 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Is That A Tongue-Depressor In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
The steamy television program “Grey’s Anatomy” and the shift in cultural norms is influencing the professional attire of medical doctors. Instead of traditional business apparel and the white lab coat, female physicians are opting for high heels, short skirts showing plenty of leg, plunging necklines revealing bulging cleavage, midriffs exposing pierced belly buttons, and the display of thong straps creeping above the waistline for a whale tail. Meanwhile, male doctors are now sporting a more manly appearance with stubby unshaven facial hair, numerous tattoos, pony tails, and even Bermuda shorts. Such attire may be fine for a night club or the beach but it is starting to impact doctor-patient relationships because patients who do not respect their doctors or who no longer take them seriously may not get the best possible care. And most importantly, if patients are unable to disclose their most intimate health needs to their physicians then they may not be able to obtain the treatment they really need.Ya think? My brother is a doctor (as was Dad). FWIW, I'm pretty sure John wouldn't show up at his office in anything other than a button-down Oxford, tie and khakis under his white coat. If you've got Lady XXX or Surfer Dude as a physician and it's bothering you, let me know and I'll give you a referral. Yips! to Dean.
Posted by: Robert at 11:28 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Gratuitous Musickal Posting - Christmas Tips Division
Yesterday afternoon the eldest Llama-ette and I sat down for a session of carols. As I hadn't cracked the book in nearly a year, I was pretty rusty at the keyboard and, as is my wont when I play poorly, inserted a certain amount of rayther bad language not atall in keeping with the spirit of the season. (What was it Oscar Wilde said? "The trouble with playing in public is that when one plays well, nobody listens. And when one plays poorly, nobody talks.")
Anyhoo, in part to show off her own burgeoning piano talent, the gel insisted that she take over the ivories for "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" while I do the singing. I don't especially like this song, but I found it went by much more quickly when I adopted a different accent for each section. Thus, I sang the first verse as Kermit the Frog, the second as Senor Wences' "Close de door" character and the third as a Monty Pythonesque German of the "I assure you ze do, Mr. Ellis" variety. And I sang each refrain of the chorus as Opera Man. The gel thought this was hy-larious. And I think I've founded a new tradition. (The gel also tried to talk me into "The Twelve Days of Christmas," which I refused point-blank because I can't stand it. However, if she ever does get me to sing it, I may employ this same technique, although I'd have to take notes to keep track of which character was singing what verse.)Posted by: Robert at 11:03 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
In A Rut(ter)
Well, Lessons & Carols Sunday at St. Looney-Up-The-Cream-Bun-And-Jam went off almost exactly as I predicted last week. We started off with some lovely Corelli played by a string quartet that contained an unusual left-handed second violin, then proceeded to roll into the standard choir reportoire which included this year "For Unto Us A Child Is Born", probably my very favorite chorus out of The Messiah.
The middle Llama-ette was there with the Youth Choir, stolidly belting out her lines. As it happens, I believe she's the youngest gel in the group. This does not appear to worry her at all, although at first I thought she wasn't standing up with the rest of them: it was only by craning my neck that I could make out the top of her head, sandwiched as she was between a pair of older girls who towered over her. The Youth Choir was scheduled to sing both the 9:00 and 11:15 services. As we proceeded along, I wondered to myself how the Llama-ette was going to manage to sit through the whole thing (which was really rayther long) twice. However, she was allowed to skip the second performance by her leader. Probably just as well. And by way of celebration, the gel went off to tea with her Godmother and the Missus instead. But I'm not posting this just to tell you about that. Oh, no. I'm posting instead because, as I also predicted, we were subjected yet again to the music of John Rutter. Not one carol, not two, but three of them. The first one was new to me. It was called, I kid you not, "Donkey Carol". I'd give you a sample, except that I forgot to keep the program. However, it starts out with something about "Donkey walking on bumpy road", and is a perfect storm of saccharined lyrics and quirky, maudlin music. A quick bit of research indicates that lots of folks seem to fall all over themselves in praise of Rutter's music, but quite frankly it gives me the guts-ache. I was chatting with somebody about this Ruttermania after the service. He thought he had remembered the rector mentioning some particular tie he had with the composer (who is only in his 60's, I believe), which is the only reason I can think of to explain why we get so much of this stuff. Feh. There hasn't been a really first-class English composer since William Boyce and IMHO, Rutter's works embodies all the very worst traditions in Brit music since then.Posted by: Robert at 09:58 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Dan Fogelberg: 1951-2007
Yesterday, singer/songwriter Dan Fogelberg lost his battle with prostate cancer. Fogelberg's songs left many musical memories for me when I was growing up in the late seventies and eighties. Considering the time of year I thought I'd post a video tribute of "Same Auld Lang Syne", which is the song that has probably most left an impression on me.
Posted by: Gary at 09:55 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
McCain: Not Dead Yet Or Just A Norwegian Blue?
The wily Senator from Arizona's campaign seems to be showing some life. Add in a batch of local endorsements (including a shot of Joe-Mentum) and McCain may be on his way to a strong showing in New Hampshire.
Now I know there are many Republican primary voters who are rightly ticked with Sen. McCain for a number of reasons. But I don't think it's out of the question that he could end up with a surprise razor-thin win in the Granite State, especially when you consider that Independents may vote in party primaries. Honestly, judging by the fluidity of all these polls I don't think any candidate has a rock-solid base they can count on at this point. I myself doubt that McCain has it in him, but anything could happen at this point. John McCain isn't my first choice but I'd take him much more enthusiastically as the nominee than a Mike Huckabee. In fact, when you consider that my number one hot button issue is the prosecution of the Terrorists' War On Us, his candidacy would be less of a bummer for me that I had originally thought. This is especially true when I consider the prospect of his continued pummelling of she-who-must-not-be-named in this manner:When asked whether he would tag Hillary Clinton as well with a "lack of patriotism," Mr. McCain does dial it down a notch. "Maybe 'lack of patriotism' is too harsh," he allows. "'Putting political ambitions ahead of the national interest' may be a more subtle way" of putting it. He then adds, with a chuckle, "And we all know how subtle I am." Just how subtle comes across in expanding on Mrs. Clinton's stance on the war and on the surge. "She had that very clever line--I don't know who wrote it for her--that you'd have to suspend disbelief in order to believe that the surge is working. Well, you'd have to suspend disbelief that it's not now." And then, as if confronting her in a presidential debate, he addresses the absent senator from New York directly: "Do you still stand by that statement, Senator Clinton? Do you still believe you'd have to suspend disbelief to believe that this surge is working?"Whether there is more underlying strength in his campaign than most pundits are recognizing or that it's merely the media blowing this out of proportion we will have to wait and see. Is there potential McCainia out there or is the Senator merely pining for the fjords? For those not familiar with the obscure analogy, allow me:
Posted by: Gary at 09:06 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
December 16, 2007
Yes
MIAMI (AP) -The Miami Dolphins acted as though they'd never won a game before. When Greg Camarillo turned a short completion into a 64-yard touchdown in overtime, the bench quickly cleared, with players sprinting en masse to the end zone to mob their teammate. The stunning play made the Dolphins a winner for the first time in more than a year, ensuring they'll avoid the first 0-16 season in NFL history. They beat the Baltimore Ravens 22-16. ''I'm just glad no one is going to be talking about the winless season,'' Camarillo said after making just his fourth catch all season. ''We got a win to get the monkey off our back.'' Luckless all year, the Dolphins needed a big break to improve to 1-13. Baltimore's Matt Stover missed a 44-yard field goal on the first possession of overtime. Three plays later, Camarillo broke over the middle on third down and had two steps on the secondary when he caught a pass from Cleo Lemon near midfield. Finding himself in the clear, Camarillo sprinted to the end zone for his first NFL touchdown. ''It was like watching one of those plays in slow motion, and it's the Super Bowl and the miraculous catch and all those things,'' teammate Vonnie Holliday said. ''It was up there like that for us. Maybe not for everybody else, but for us it was up there with all those great catches - Dwight Clark and all those guys.'' With the 1972 perfect-season Dolphins cheering them on, the woebegone 2007 Dolphins rallied from a 10-point third-quarter deficit and snapped a 16-game losing streak. The franchise's first victory since Dec. 10, 2006 allowed Miami to avoid matching the worst start in NFL history. Cam Cameron finally earned his first victory as an NFL head coach, 11 months after taking the job. ''I've been looking forward to this day for quite some time,'' Cameron said. Owner Wayne Huizenga, who confirmed Saturday he's discussing the sale of the franchise, wore a grin in the locker room after the victory. ''It was exciting for me,'' Huizenga said. ''In my suite it was like winning the Super Bowl. It was up and down all game, and with the 17-0 team here and being honored at halftime, to pull it off in this game for those guys, that was special. It was very emotional for me.''Shut up. Just....shut up.
Posted by: Robert at 10:03 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Storm of the Century of the Week - UPDATED
Well, once again, Mother Nature jerked the football away just as Dee Cee was about to kick it through the uprights - we got a fair bit of rain from the latest Storm of the Century of the Week, but nothing else.
However, late this afternoon the wind began to pick up. This was enough for Virginia Power to suffer one of its numerous outages, with the result that dinner at Orgle Manor consisted of cold-cuts by the light of the Advent wreath, while bed-time story was the last three chapters of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe read by firelight in the library. Not a bad thing, I suppose.Posted by: Robert at 09:51 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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