Welcome Back, Dave Barry!

For those of us who have taken 50 or more spins around the sun, there are many sources of entertainment that once gave us great pleasure, but which have long since been consigned to our memories. We accept that they were from a different era and are permanently lost. In my case there were certain sports broadcasts, radio shows, and newspaper columnists with whom I felt a personal connection, even if it was only just listening to their show or reading their column.

Among these was Dave Barry and his weekly humor column. It went away in 2005, but after a 20-year absence, it’s back! Rather than being syndicated from the Miami Herald as it was in the old days. Mr. Barry’s revived humor column is now on Substack.

My hometown newspaper carried Dave Barry’s column in my younger days, and my father and I would read it every Sunday, laughing together at Mr. Barry’s humor. A few years after college, in the early 1990s, my employer relocated me to Los Angeles. It was a rough transition for me, as I went from living large in Texas to feeling very alone in California. My father tried to pick me up by connecting with me in one of the ways he knew how – he’d mail me Dave Barry’s humor column each week, then call me a few days later so we could laugh about it.

Some 20 years later my father was in a nursing home, with a cruel, paralyzing disease that left him unable to speak, even though he could still hear and comprehend. I was back in Texas and living in the same city as my father, so I’d visit him a couple times per week. In addition to updating him about what was going on in my life, I’d read him a story from Dave Barry’s Greatest Hits on each visit. Although though my father couldn’t speak, he could still laugh, and he laughed heartily as I read to him.

The great news, as a I mentioned, is that Dave Barry’s humor column is back. Here are a few snippets from some of his recent columns:

“Marriage and Dementia” (4/21/2025)

So in two crucial areas of our married life — plumbing and remote controls — my brain handles the thinking for both of us. I also am in charge of some other areas, including:
- Turning off every single light in the house at least six times a day.
- Opening any mail we receive from financial institutions and, after frowning thoughtfully at the contents for 8 to 10 seconds, putting them in a "file."
- Spiders.
But there are other areas that my brain does not concern itself with, because I have come to rely on Michelle to think about them. One example is pillows. I never have to think about pillows, because Michelle apparently thinks about them 24/7, the result being that we have acquired enough pillows to blockade the Canadian border. Michelle is also extremely good at detecting odors, so I don't have to. Here's a conversation we have often:
MICHELLE: Do you smell that?
ME: Smell what?
MICHELLE: You can't smell that?
But Michelle's biggest mental responsibility is thinking for both of us about other people. I used to be involved with other people, but over time I outsourced pretty much all social interactions to Michelle, to the point where my only regular human contact, aside from Michelle, is the plumber. As a result, the social part of my brain now has the same level of neural activity as a rutabaga. This means that whenever we encounter another person, I depend on Michelle to supply me with critical information such as:
- Who is this person?
- Do I know this person?
- Am I related to this person?
- Do I have to talk to this person?
- If so, what should I say?

In another of his recent columns, I’m pretty sure that Dave Barry is the first person to have analogized a prostate exam with accessing Tallahassee from a backroad in Alabama.

There are times when it's not easy to be a male. I experienced one of these times a few days ago when, within a span of 20 minutes, three different people, two of whom I had not previously met and one of whom was a member of a completely different biological sex, asked me to lower my pants so they could handle parts of my body that I will refer to here, out of respect for their privacy, as my festicles (not their real name).
This happened at the office of my urologist. Like many older men, I see a urologist regularly, and I believe I speak for all of these men when I make the following urgent plea to the urology community: For the love of God, please find a way to get to the prostate gland other than the way you're getting to it now.
When you visit your urologist, he or she always examines your prostate, which is a tricky procedure because of where it's located. If we envision the male reproductive system as a map of Florida, the prostate would be Tallahassee. The problem is, there is no easy way to get to Tallahassee. So the current procedure is for the urologist to approach it via the back road from Alabama.

This means that the prostate examination is quite unpleasant for everyone involved.
Q. How unpleasant is it?
A. When it's about to happen, both you and the urologist are quietly hoping for a direct meteor strike.

With that thought in my mind, I’d like to thank Dave Barry again for reviving his humor column, and also thank him for his special role in how my father and I used Mr. Barry’s humor to lift each other up at difficult times in our lives.

Dave Barry can also be followed on Twitter at @rayadverb.

[buck.throckmorton at protonmail dot com]

Posted by: Buck Throckmorton at 07:30 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Good evening everyone

Posted by: Skip at April 30, 2025 07:33 PM (ypFCm)

2 Hola

Posted by: Thanatopsis at April 30, 2025 07:34 PM (GYt5+)

3 Is this supposed to be the kaffeeklatsch?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 30, 2025 07:34 PM (7uM8h)

4 I used to read his year in review, which was funny. And I read several of his books. Funny guy.

Posted by: Disinterested FDA Director at April 30, 2025 07:37 PM (scBt+)

5 I thought I read here that Dave Barry had turned left?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 30, 2025 07:37 PM (63Dwl)

6 My life has instantly become 5% more tolerable!

Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at April 30, 2025 07:38 PM (liwjr)

7 I guess the residuals from his books just weren't paying the bills any more.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at April 30, 2025 07:39 PM (hB7mE)

8 Never found Dave B to be funny. I mean, he's no Louis Untermayer

Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 30, 2025 07:39 PM (7uM8h)

9 "Big Trouble" is one of the funniest books I've ever read.

Posted by: Nemo at April 30, 2025 07:39 PM (4RPgu)

10 My doctor helpfully informed me that they don't have to do the finger in the dirt chute thing any more, that blood tests are much more accurate and useful.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 07:39 PM (2VST1)

11
Dave Barry is hilarious. Just my opinion, your opinion may differ.

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 07:40 PM (3ek7K)

12 I always found Dave amusing funny

Posted by: Skip at April 30, 2025 07:42 PM (ypFCm)

13 My doctor helpfully informed me that they don't have to do the finger in the dirt chute thing any more, that blood tests are much more accurate and useful.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 07:39 PM (2VST1)

I haven’t gotten to the point I’m supposed to do those things yet, but I intend to refuse. Blood tests or CT, sure.

Same with colonoscopy. It ain’t worth it.

Posted by: Disinterested FDA Director at April 30, 2025 07:42 PM (scBt+)

14 lol

Posted by: wth at April 30, 2025 07:42 PM (v0R5T)

15 Thanks, Dave. Dave Barry is a favorite.

Posted by: Eromero at April 30, 2025 07:42 PM (LHPAg)

16
"Gulf of Canada"

Posted by: wth at April 30, 2025 07:43 PM (v0R5T)

17 The whole finger thing annoyed me so much. Yes, its less humiliating and intrusive than what women have to put up with but it attacks a man's sense of masculinity as well. And after 3000 years of medical history, this is the best you can do? A finger up my exhaust port? Really??

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 07:43 PM (2VST1)

18 I be been following hm since too. Che k out he viagara at the car wash article

Posted by: Biggest Alfredo at April 30, 2025 07:45 PM (jxv5/)

19 No finger? Where's your sense of adventure?

I'm pretty sure that it was a fundamental part of Obamacare.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 30, 2025 07:45 PM (jqIY4)

20 16
"Gulf of Canada"
Posted by: wth at April 30, 2025 07:43 PM (v0R5T)

Don't tell Trump. He will be PISSED.

Posted by: Indy Bill at April 30, 2025 07:45 PM (+WI3k)

21 I got willowed again. All my best stuff gets left behind! Bulg, what was the name of the book you were reading that said the Brits did it? I’m willing to be persuaded.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 07:46 PM (sagpo)

22 Substack recommended a buddy s column. The Gene Pool. He’s a huge lib with a major case of TDS. Pretty fun to read He’s crazy

Posted by: Biggest Alfredo at April 30, 2025 07:47 PM (jxv5/)

23 I thank Dave Barry's "The Complete Guide to Guys" for helping me better understand the male of the species. His "Book of Bad Songs" is also hilarious.

Posted by: Kris at April 30, 2025 07:48 PM (m8ELN)

24 So is that map the official proof that Florida is America's wang?

Posted by: mikeski at April 30, 2025 07:48 PM (DgGvY)

25 JT sent me a couple of Dave's Barry's books. They are just as funny as his columns and I highly, highly recommend them. JT, if you are reading, I love you and I love those books. Thanks for making me laugh!

Posted by: Moki at April 30, 2025 07:48 PM (wLjpr)

26 24 So is that map the official proof that Florida is America's wang?
Posted by: mikeski at April 30, 2025 07:48 PM (DgGvY)

Not cold in Florida

Posted by: jsg at April 30, 2025 07:50 PM (SATZE)

27 Did you just deadname me?

Posted by: X at April 30, 2025 07:50 PM (UCYpC)

28 I always enjoyed Dave's stuff. Thanks, Buck. Soo cool that you and your Dad connected with that.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at April 30, 2025 07:50 PM (mH6SG)

29 'So is that map the official proof that Florida is America's wang?'

I'll believe it when all the Jews living in Miami have it circumcised.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 30, 2025 07:51 PM (jqIY4)

30 Among my humorous books, I have Dave Barry's Guide to Life, which is a compilation of four of his books.

It's pretty funny, though a bit dated as it was published back in 1991.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 07:51 PM (GlyvH)

31
Same with colonoscopy. It ain’t worth it.
Posted by: Disinterested FDA Director at April 30, 2025 07:42 PM (scBt+)

Except...if they find polyps. It's better to get them early and if they show up on one of the tests, you have to do the colonoscopy anyway. I absolutely agree it is one of the worst diagnostic exams ever, along with pain determinations in your spinal cord. I don't recommend having one of those if you can help it.

Posted by: Moki at April 30, 2025 07:52 PM (wLjpr)

32 30 Among my humorous books, I have Dave Barry's Guide to Life, which is a compilation of four of his books.

It's pretty funny, though a bit dated as it was published back in 1991.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 07:51 PM (GlyvH)
Looking back 1991 was a pretty good time.

Posted by: Eromero at April 30, 2025 07:53 PM (LHPAg)

33 Absolutely everything Barry says above is true of me, except for one thing. My wife controls the TV remote. I almost never watch tv any more.

Unfortunately, I have an upcoming test for my male bits. Maybe the world will end first. Let's hope.

Posted by: Eeyore at April 30, 2025 07:53 PM (1bNHn)

34 Posted by: Moki at April 30, 2025 07:52 PM (wLjpr)

How are you feeling, Moki? Healing?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 30, 2025 07:54 PM (7uM8h)

35 Wasn't there a sitcom starring Harry Anderson based on Dave Barry's columns? Dave's World.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 30, 2025 07:54 PM (UCYpC)

36 - Who is this person?
- Do I know this person?
- Am I related to this person?
- Do I have to talk to this person?
- If so, what should I say?

If they don't get an Airplane quote I throw out there during the conversation I'm pretty much done with them.

Posted by: jsg at April 30, 2025 07:54 PM (SATZE)

37 Johnny Carson said, "Never go to a proctologist who can palm a basketball."
Dave Barry was funny, but like a lot of humor, a little goes a long way.

Posted by: MkY at April 30, 2025 07:54 PM (cPGH3)

38 The Dave Barry bit about approaching Tallahassee via Alabama back roads hit home for me. Glad they developed blood tests that are more accurate. Don’t miss that part of the annual exam at all!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 07:55 PM (sagpo)

39 32 Dave Barry?

Good, but he's no Erma Bombeck.
Posted by: Miklos, Connoisseur of Bodily Humours at April 30, 2025 07:53 PM (IKhKt)
One hot mama.

Posted by: Eromero at April 30, 2025 07:55 PM (LHPAg)

40 If your urologist is a frequent pain in the ass, seize the moment by supping on generous portions of fettuccine Alfredo and Italian sausage the night before. Don't hold back on the garlic.

Posted by: Rev Wishbone at April 30, 2025 07:56 PM (fY84s)

41 If they don't get an Airplane quote I throw out there during the conversation I'm pretty much done with them.

Surely you don't mean that

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 07:57 PM (2VST1)

42 30 Among my humorous books, I have Dave Barry's Guide to Life, which is a compilation of four of his books.

It's pretty funny, though a bit dated as it was published back in 1991.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 07:51 PM (GlyvH)
_______
You consider 1991 "dated"? To me, that's new. Hell, anything since the Battle of Navarino is new.

Posted by: Eeyore at April 30, 2025 07:57 PM (1bNHn)

43 As far a deadnaming goes, nobody in their right mind would look up a twitter reference using X instead of Twitter. Elon didn’t think that through, or maybe he’s playing an elaborate practical joke on us all.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 07:58 PM (sagpo)

44 My GP has students a lot. Last physical, which involved the backdoor to Tallahassee, he asked, could the students check my prostate? (3 of them, one female).
Who's buying dinner?
It got a laugh.

Posted by: MkY at April 30, 2025 07:58 PM (cPGH3)

45 OMG, Buck! You found him again. I was station in Key West in the 80s so the MIA Herald was the big paper. I generally looked just for Dave Barry’s column and threw the rest away.
Great post, Buck! Thank you!

Posted by: FINGERS at April 30, 2025 08:00 PM (C8ve7)

46 If only they didn't snap that damned glove....

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 30, 2025 08:00 PM (XeU6L)

47 42 If they don't get an Airplane quote I throw out there during the conversation I'm pretty much done with them.

Surely you don't mean that
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 07:57 PM (2VST1)

I do. And you know the line

Posted by: jsg at April 30, 2025 08:00 PM (SATZE)

48 Worst part about a Prostate Exam: When the Doctor is done and walks out of the room and the Nurse walks in and asks 'Who was that?'

Posted by: Fritzy at April 30, 2025 08:01 PM (T5dpv)

49 Must be a Gator fan

Big Trouble

The lives of several Miami denizens, from ad agents to gunrunners to street thugs to law enforcement to school-children, intersect with humorous and dangerous results.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:01 PM (gbOdA)

50 My doctor helpfully informed me that they don't have to do the finger in the dirt chute thing any more, that blood tests are much more accurate and useful.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 07:39 PM (2VST1)

That's just for screening dating prospects now.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 30, 2025 08:01 PM (V1u5y)

51 My GP has students a lot. Last physical, which involved the backdoor to Tallahassee, he asked, could the students check my prostate? (3 of them, one female).
Who's buying dinner?
It got a laugh.
Posted by: MkY at April 30, 2025 07:58 PM (cPGH3)
----
Considering how undignified many medical tests and procedures can be, it's always good when you have a sense of humor about the situation.

I went in for an "undignified" test once and discovered that the lab tech was a young woman who used to work with me at Subway. It was a bit awkward, but we both laughed about it.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 08:01 PM (GlyvH)

52 49 Worst part about a Prostate Exam: When the Doctor is done and walks out of the room and the Nurse walks in and asks 'Who was that?'
Posted by: Fritzy at April 30, 2025 08:01 PM (T5dpv)

Brace yourself is way up there.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:02 PM (gbOdA)

53 >>>If only they didn't snap that damned glove....

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.

>Sounds like somebody needs to deprogram his reflex to clench.

Posted by: Rev Wishbone at April 30, 2025 08:02 PM (fY84s)

54 45 My GP has students a lot. Last physical, which involved the backdoor to Tallahassee, he asked, could the students check my prostate? (3 of them, one female).
Who's buying dinner?
It got a laugh.
Posted by: MkY at April 30, 2025 07:58 PM (cPGH3)
My retirement physical was done by a female doctor and she was easy on the eyes. She seemed to enjoy her work,

Posted by: Eromero at April 30, 2025 08:02 PM (LHPAg)

55 Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at April 30, 2025 08:03 PM (dg+HA)

56 If they don't get an Airplane quote I throw out there during the conversation I'm pretty much done with them.

Surely you don't mean that
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 07:57 PM

I think he does. And don't call him Shirley.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 30, 2025 08:04 PM (Wnv9h)

57 I pooped in a box once and sent it away.

Think about the person in Shipping and Receiving who has to check that in and be thankful you made better life choices than them.

Posted by: jsg at April 30, 2025 08:04 PM (SATZE)

58 FYI

Backin up on it will get you several dates in the ER.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:04 PM (gbOdA)

59
>Sounds like somebody needs to deprogram his reflex to clench.
Posted by: Rev Wishbone
-----------

No worries anymore, Mr. Prostate has been neutralized. The ungrateful little bastard.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 30, 2025 08:04 PM (XeU6L)

60 58 I pooped in a box once and sent it away.

Think about the person in Shipping and Receiving who has to check that in and be thankful you made better life choices than them.
Posted by: jsg at April 30, 2025 08:04 PM (SATZE)

They call that an R o V.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:05 PM (gbOdA)

61 Ouch!

That was uncalled for.

Posted by: Alabama at April 30, 2025 08:06 PM (3KSvz)

62 Think about the person in Shipping and Receiving who has to check that in and be thankful you made better life choices than them

"That job really sucks, I'd never tell anyone about it"
--Guy who packs fudge for a living

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:07 PM (2VST1)

63 My doctor helpfully informed me that they don't have to do the finger in the dirt chute thing any more, that blood tests are much more accurate and useful.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 07:39 PM (2VST1)

I got the blood test... really high.
Doctor did the finger test... nothing found.
Did an MRI (or CAT, whatever)... nothing found.
Doctor wanted to do a biopsy... I asked, on what? Oh, he said, we'll just poke random areas. I declined.

Next year blood test was even higher. Urologist didn't even return my phone call.

I assume it'll be something this upcoming year but I'm at the point where I don't know if I trust any of the system.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 30, 2025 08:07 PM (ExV1e)

64 This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: The Flora-Bama Lounge at April 30, 2025 08:07 PM (dg+HA)

65 OMG nooooooo! QWERTY are over represented on sex offender registries!

Laura Powell@LauraPowellEsq
State Senator Scott Wiener considers sex offender registries to be some sort of conspiracy against LGBTQ people by punishing them for perfectly normal things like having sex in public.
He argues that a categorical ban on allowing male sex offenders in women’s prisons is “incredibly overbroad and discriminatory.”
You can always count on him to put the rights of sex offenders over the rights of vulnerable groups like incarcerated women!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 30, 2025 08:07 PM (L/fGl)

66 So my ball hurt
I go to doctor and they decide to feel my ball
So about 11teen people proceed to feel my right ball
Then they decide (over sammiches I guess) that they all need to stick a finger up my ass.
So they then proceed to stick a finger up my ass. Yep
Same 11teen.
The last person walked away and I asked, OUT LOUD, who else wants to stick their finger up my ass.
They then asked my to get dressed.

It was a piano recital.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:09 PM (gbOdA)

67
Next year blood test was even higher. Urologist didn't even return my phone call.

I assume it'll be something this upcoming year but I'm at the point where I don't know if I trust any of the system.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic

My doc says the blood tests give too many false positives.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 30, 2025 08:09 PM (63Dwl)

68 Listen. If your name is Wiener....

Posted by: Qwerty adjacent at April 30, 2025 08:09 PM (dg+HA)

69 State Senator Scott Wiener considers sex offender registries to be some sort of conspiracy against LGBTQ people by punishing them for perfectly normal things like having sex in public.

This is the same approach that says we should stop reporting the ethnic background of black criminals because too many show up in the news.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:10 PM (2VST1)

70 Trying to find the book Bulg mentioned in the last thread on my own I seem to get a lot of people who think it was a joint MI6/Mossad operation. Of course it would have to be with the consent of the US Deep State, and probably five eyes collaboration as well. Sorry to be off topic. Are you there Bulg? What was the name of the book?

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 08:10 PM (sagpo)

71 My all time favorite Dave Barry thing was an illustration in "Homes and Other Black Holes" where he's talking about the buying process. One part is a T-Rex labeled "Money You Need." The other part is a bunny labeled "Money You Have."

Posted by: Oddbob at April 30, 2025 08:11 PM (/y8xj)

72 Are you there Bulg? What was the name of the book?
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 08:10 PM (sagpo)

Pooh
Blood n Honey

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:12 PM (gbOdA)

73 You consider 1991 "dated"? To me, that's new. Hell, anything since the Battle of Navarino is new.
Posted by: Eeyore at April 30, 2025 07:57 PM (1bNHn)

Love Mediterranean sea battle humor.

Posted by: Oldcat at April 30, 2025 08:12 PM (asFox)

74 I assume it'll be something this upcoming year but I'm at the point where I don't know if I trust any of the system.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic

24 hours before the exam, no sex and no bike riding

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 30, 2025 08:13 PM (6U1c2)

75
Nice, finger up the ass right at dinner time, lol.

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 08:14 PM (3ek7K)

76 "That job really sucks, I'd never tell anyone about it"
--Guy who packs fudge for a living
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:07 PM (2VST1)

Have you heard of Uranus Fudge Factory ?

My BIL is a long hauler and gets us fudge there everytime he happens by. It's in Indiana. The last package he gave us had 'Lovingly Packed by Joe' inside the box. LOL

It's great fudge, too.

https://tinyurl.com/2hpmjjnb

Posted by: jsg at April 30, 2025 08:14 PM (SATZE)

77 I’d read Dave’s books back in the 90s and literally laugh out loud. He was so good. Glad he’s back. Didn’t realize he’d been gone that long. When a great friend at work turned 40, I gave him “Dave Barry Turns 40” and had a fun luncheon roasting him with a lot of Dave’s lines. Good times.

Posted by: Eternity Matters at April 30, 2025 08:14 PM (yT7Wa)

78 My all time favorite Dave Barry thing was an illustration in "Homes and Other Black Holes" where he's talking about the buying process. One part is a T-Rex labeled "Money You Need." The other part is a bunny labeled "Money You Have."
Posted by: Oddbob at April 30, 2025 08:11 PM (/y8xj)

I think in the same part he mentions having a price range, then assimilating the process of going Way, Way, Way outside your price range.

Posted by: Oldcat at April 30, 2025 08:15 PM (asFox)

79 Same with colonoscopy. It ain’t worth it.
Posted by: Disinterested FDA Director at April 30, 2025 07:42 PM

---------------

Re-think your position on colonoscopy. They really are no big deal. The prep is worse than the actual procedure, and even it isn't that bad. I had all this fear built up before my first colonoscopy and discovered it was totally overblown.

Cologard has a far greater false negative rate than a colonoscopy, and it also yields false positives. If you get a positive Cologard result you end up getting a colonoscopy anyway.

Colon cancer is one of the most treatable cancers when caught early. Don't wuss out on this one

Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:15 PM (1Au9i)

80 I’d read Dave’s books back in the 90s and literally laugh out loud. He was so good. Glad he’s back. Didn’t realize he’d been gone that long. When a great friend at work turned 40, I gave him “Dave Barry Turns 40” and had a fun luncheon roasting him with a lot of Dave’s lines. Good times.
Posted by: Eternity Matters at April 30, 2025 08:14 PM (yT7Wa)

I have one in a bathroom because they are a good length to read one or 2 in there without having to remember.

Posted by: Oldcat at April 30, 2025 08:16 PM (asFox)

81 I loved Dave's liveblog of the series "24."

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 30, 2025 08:17 PM (USyCi)

82 So Dave Barry Movie Big Trouble

Old italian guy on SUV

He drops golf bag at rental car center

Rifle falls out

We play with cheaters

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:17 PM (gbOdA)

83 I had prostate cancer.

My urologist had a sculpture of a gigantic had with an extended finger in his waiting room.

I am not kidding.

When I was finally diagnosed after the biopsy (not fun) he said that he and I were going to become "best friends".

That is the last thing I ever heard from him as I found another urologist.

Posted by: pawn at April 30, 2025 08:18 PM (QB+5g)

84 Colon cancer is one of the most treatable cancers when caught early. Don't wuss out on this one
Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:15 PM

This.

And read Dave Barry's colonoscopy column first.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 30, 2025 08:19 PM (Wnv9h)

85 24 hours before the exam, no sex and no bike riding
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 30, 2025 08:13 PM (6U1c2)

advised against vs prohibited

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:19 PM (gbOdA)

86 Had my last colonoscopy in Jan/Feb 2021. Guess I'm due. Ugh.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at April 30, 2025 08:20 PM (KAi1n)

87 Colon cancer is one of the most treatable cancers when caught early. Don't wuss out on this one
Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:15 PM

This.

And read Dave Barry's colonoscopy column first.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 30, 2025 08:19 PM (Wnv9h)
---
Seconded. And Dave Barry's column should be included in the packet of preparation instructions every time. Just because.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 08:21 PM (GlyvH)

88 Dangit, missed the hobo thread...

Dad's parents lived in a small town during the Depression. Railroad went through there & sometimes hobos did too.

Grandma said her apple pies started "disappearing" from the windowsill. She'd wait & watch, but couldn't catch the culprit.

So, she made another "apple" pie-- out of potato peelings-- with cinnamon & spices to make it smell right.

Sure enough, it disappeared too, but no more pies were stolen after that. LOL.

Posted by: JQ at April 30, 2025 08:23 PM (rdVOm)

89 Dave Barry is published by Penguin Books. Just sayin'.

Which leads me to this:

September 2024

"A rare, smelly and yellow-eyed penguin species has been crowned New Zealand’s bird of the year for the second time in less than a decade."

Posted by: fd at April 30, 2025 08:24 PM (vFG9F)

90 The sound of a latex glove being snapped to check for tightness is right up there with a shotgun being pumped.

Posted by: pawn at April 30, 2025 08:25 PM (QB+5g)

91 24 So is that map the official proof that Florida is America's wang?
Posted by: mikeski at April 30, 2025 07:48 PM (DgGvY)

Nah.... America's front legs...

Maine is the nose on the Hefalump... Texas the Back Legs...

Making San Fran? Yup, the Ass hole.

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 30, 2025 08:25 PM (QAkQ3)

92 advised against vs prohibited
Posted by: rhennigantx

I have forbidden it.
It be forbiddeded!

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 30, 2025 08:26 PM (GhIJO)

93
Having lived in Tampa, Plant City, Tallahassee and Gainesville Florida, I think I am allowed to say I HATE FLORIDA!

Just my opinion, yours might differ.

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 08:28 PM (3ek7K)

94 I have forbidden it.
It be forbiddeded!
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 30, 2025 08:26 PM (GhIJO)

Why did I read that as ForBidened?

which I guess would be defined as something so brain dead it should not be done?

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 30, 2025 08:28 PM (QAkQ3)

95 94
Having lived in Tampa, Plant City, Tallahassee and Gainesville Florida, I think I am allowed to say I HATE FLORIDA!

Just my opinion, yours might differ.
Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 08:28 PM (3ek7K)

I have lived in TLH and Destin
Destin 2x

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:29 PM (gbOdA)

96 False positives are worrying, but at least you you don’t really have the condition the test was for. False negatives are terrible, giving you reassurance you don’t have the thing you really do, and need to get looked at right now! We had a false positive decades ago with my now late wife. She had a biopsy and the diagnosing physician said she had breast cancer. She was really upset by it (of course!). She wound up in the hospital, scheduled to have a double mastectomy in the morning when we got back a second opinion. I had had the biopsy sent off to a doctor at Harvard (yeah, I know, but there was a time when Harvard was really good). The Harvard doctor said no, calciferous nodules, not cancer. We got her out of the hospital that night and were so glad to have escaped. We did not sue the hospital, that’s not the way we thought. The diagnosing physician was fired over it, because my wife became good friends with the wife of the doctor who replaced him.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 08:30 PM (sagpo)

97 Bab Bee

Europe Promises To Get The Electricity Back Up ASAP So Everyone Can Hear The Muslim Calls To Prayer

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:30 PM (gbOdA)

98 Wow... truck with 8 MILLION Dimes runs off the road in Texas and crashes...

Dimes everywhere...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 30, 2025 08:32 PM (QAkQ3)

99
We had a lot of relocations with my husbands job. We lived in Tampa first, then Plant City. When we were transferred to Atlanta and the movers left I told my husband, drive until we are out of Florida.

Corporate life takes you places you don't want to live. We moved twice after that back to Florida.

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 08:32 PM (3ek7K)

100 truck with 8 MILLION Dimes runs off the road in Texas and crashes

"that is not how you do it"
--JD Rockefeller

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:33 PM (2VST1)

101 Always get a second opinion.

Posted by: Frank Zappa at April 30, 2025 08:34 PM (QB+5g)

102 99 Wow... truck with 8 MILLION Dimes runs off the road in Texas and crashes...

Dimes everywhere...
Posted by: Romeo13 at April 30, 2025 08:32 PM (QAkQ3)

Hi Ho Silver !

Posted by: jsg at April 30, 2025 08:34 PM (SATZE)

103 They wanted to cut off my wifes face.

Actually cut of half her face.

So I go online to be hospital in DFW, Zale assoc. woth UTMB.

He wants her case. He wants it to be study.

He cuts into gum inside mouth and about a dime sized tumor fell out.

Her body had calcified the tumor.

It was over in 10 minutes.

Always get SECOND.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 30, 2025 08:35 PM (gbOdA)

104 >>>The sound of a latex glove being snapped to check for tightness is right up there with a shotgun being pumped.

Posted by: pawn

>It's probably not the snapping of a glove you hear, - Tallahassee is famous for its Alabama Dry Rub.

Posted by: Rev Wishbone at April 30, 2025 08:35 PM (fY84s)

105 "truck with 8 MILLION Dimes runs off the road in Texas and crashes"

Sounds like the driver will have to change his occupation.

Posted by: fd at April 30, 2025 08:35 PM (vFG9F)

106 Seconded. And Dave Barry's column should be included in the packet of preparation instructions every time. Just because.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 08:21 PM

Just read it before you take the prep stuff. Just sayin'.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 30, 2025 08:36 PM (Wnv9h)

107 101 truck with 8 MILLION Dimes runs off the road in Texas and crashes

"that is not how you do it"
--JD Rockefeller
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:33 PM (2VST1)
I'll pick up those dimes at 25 cents finder's fee each.

Posted by: Eromero at April 30, 2025 08:36 PM (LHPAg)

108 Related to dime truck, supposedly hispanic truck drivers are selling their trucks because they will have to learn to speak and read English.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:36 PM (2VST1)

109 I went in for an "undignified" test once and discovered that the lab tech was a young woman who used to work with me at Subway. It was a bit awkward, but we both laughed about it.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 08:01 PM (GlyvH)

Did you make a “five dollar footlong” joke? Or was it not that kind of test?

When I was a teen they had to feel my junk to see if it was developing right. They had this rosary-like loop consisting of different sized plastic balls.

The doctor was an old guy. He explained the test. I thought “Oh God, please be quick..”

He leaves, in comes a stunning, busty young woman. Of course I got a boner. It interfered with her measurements. She wasn’t flustered at all, just sort of exhausted seeming.

I don’t know why they bothered with the measurements. There was obviously nothing wrong. I guess they got to bill insurance that way.

Posted by: Disinterested FDA Director at April 30, 2025 08:37 PM (scBt+)

110 Finished my gallon of GoLYTELY at 6 this morning. mmm

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 30, 2025 08:37 PM (wwsl/)

111 I was a huge fan of Dave Barry; I read his weekly column in the Sunday Chicago Tribune magazine back in the day. He occasionally used his son Rob (IIRC) for material; I've wondered how that turned out.

Posted by: JM in Illinois at April 30, 2025 08:38 PM (eYyUS)

112 112 Finished my gallon of GoLYTELY at 6 this morning. mmm
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 30, 2025 08:37 PM (wwsl/)

Obligatory: https://youtu.be/nvrzUngEQRw

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 30, 2025 08:39 PM (a4NoL)

113 He used to be in Parade Magazine like Michelle Malkin. That was in the Sunday Paper.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 30, 2025 08:39 PM (bW09W)

114 Once I trucked a big load, which I drove around
Made it race against time
Once I trucked a big load, now it's upside down

Posted by: gKWVE at April 30, 2025 08:39 PM (gKWVE)

115 Great to hear, that is, read, some of Dave's humor again! Where did that decade go? Other than a grandson I drove to school, has now blessed me with a Great-grandson!

Posted by: Jerry Kazynski at April 30, 2025 08:39 PM (C0f+C)

116 Gotta be honest, I think I’d prefer dying knowing nothing ever went up my ass. If they can’t get to it with x-rays or drugs, I don’t want it touched.

Posted by: Disinterested FDA Director at April 30, 2025 08:39 PM (scBt+)

117 Finished my gallon of GoLYTELY at 6 this morning

They bottled Holly?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:39 PM (2VST1)

118 Were those silver dimes?

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 30, 2025 08:40 PM (bW09W)

119

If you want to know about what is going on Illinois, read John Kass.

He knows stuff.

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 08:40 PM (3ek7K)

120 If they were silver dimes, that would be worth shoveling, but even $800,000 is a lot of work to recover. I wonder how dispersed was it. Can they keep people away? I know as a kid if I found a coin lying in the road with no clues who dropped it, it was finders keepers. This one is a little more obvious where the dimes came from, but that’s a might big temptation. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Lord.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 08:41 PM (sagpo)

121 I think I’d prefer dying knowing nothing ever went up my ass

This is the flaw with the system. There are more than a few men, probably the majority, who'd rather die in agony than have some doctor shove stuff up their dumper.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:41 PM (2VST1)

122 112 Finished my gallon of GoLYTELY at 6 this morning. mmm
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 30, 2025 08:37 PM (wwsl/)

-------------------------------

Congratulations! The worst of it is over. I still remember how easy the first glass was, and how not easy the last glass was. Made me think of that scene from Harry Potter 6, when Dumbledore had to drink all the water in the basin.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 08:41 PM (OGOaV)

123 " "truck with 8 MILLION Dimes runs off the road in Texas and crashes"

Shoot, that's enough for the whole gang to get to Rock Ridge!

Posted by: Slim Pickens at April 30, 2025 08:42 PM (QB+5g)

124 I was told to go back and get a shitload of dimes

nice

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:42 PM (2VST1)

125 116 He used to be in Parade Magazine like Michelle Malkin. That was in the Sunday Paper.
Posted by: Boss Moss

My fave was Cappy Dick.

Posted by: Secretary of Trans. Emeritus at April 30, 2025 08:43 PM (G5+As)

126 Many moons ago, my wife and I got Dragon Naturally Speaking. One of the first things you have to do upon install is train it to your voice. They give you a selection of essays to read aloud.

Looking over the available options, my wife chose a Dave Barry essay. She laughed so hard through it, we had to start over with a different essay.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 08:44 PM (OGOaV)

127 It'd be ironic if that was a toll road.

Posted by: mikeski at April 30, 2025 08:44 PM (DgGvY)

128 Looks like Arts and Crafts time has been extended by an hour today.

Posted by: jsg at April 30, 2025 08:45 PM (7umJ5)

129 Blazing Saddles! You guys are the best!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 08:45 PM (sagpo)

130 Is the March of Dimes still a thing? Yes, I know it's April.

Posted by: Iron Lung Ira at April 30, 2025 08:45 PM (G5+As)

131 speaking about taking it up the ass, how about them Golden State Warriors tonight

Posted by: gKWVE at April 30, 2025 08:46 PM (gKWVE)

132 Finished my gallon of GoLYTELY at 6 this morning

Most mis-named product ever?

Posted by: Oddbob at April 30, 2025 08:47 PM (/y8xj)

133 rhennigantx, what was your wife's diagnosis?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 30, 2025 08:47 PM (Tw+JN)

134 There used to be a sitcom based on Dave Barry. called Dave’s World . Harry Anderson played Dave Barry. It was pretty good.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 30, 2025 08:48 PM (VofaG)

135 Would you rather have a barrel of dimes or a barrel of quarters?

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 30, 2025 08:50 PM (VofaG)

136 My doctor asked me if I wanted the prostate exam and I said I'd rather not. He said, that makes my day, and he didn't do it. That was five years ago and we've stayed out of Tallahassee ever since.

Posted by: JM in Illinois at April 30, 2025 08:50 PM (ZQOYp)

137 Ed Driscoll just mercilessly stole your post, Buck.

That hack!

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 30, 2025 08:51 PM (E2I8c)

138 I think I’d prefer dying knowing nothing ever went up my ass

This is the flaw with the system. There are more than a few men, probably the majority, who'd rather die in agony than have some doctor shove stuff up their dumper.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:41 PM

--------------

Your body, your choice...but they give you light sedation before the colonoscopy and I have zero recollection of what happened, including that part.

Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:51 PM (1Au9i)

139 Fortunately, dinner this evening is sushi from Publix.

Low effort din-din
Posted by: Miklos has less energy than Jeb! at April 30, 2025 08:48 PM (IKhKt)

At least it’s not from a gas station.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 30, 2025 08:51 PM (VofaG)

140 112 Finished my gallon of GoLYTELY at 6 this morning. mmm
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 30, 2025 08:37 PM (wwsl/)
-----
I've gone through the process multiple times and only ONCE have I had todo the GoLYTELY.

The last time, they gave me two smallish bottles of fluid and told me to drink one the night before and one the morning of my colonoscopy. Both turned the SOUR level up to 11--like jamming a lemon down my throat--but I managed to choke them both down without too much trouble. Much better than GoLYTELY.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 08:52 PM (GlyvH)

141 Several good humor writers I have enjoyed including Barry and Lewis Grizzard. PJ O'Rourke was great

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 30, 2025 08:52 PM (Er3Q7)

142 Would you rather have a barrel of dimes or a barrel of quarters?

yes.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:52 PM (2VST1)

143 Your body, your choice...but they give you light sedation before the colonoscopy and I have zero recollection of what happened, including that part.
Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:51 PM (1Au9i)
---
Propofol is a helluva drug...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 08:52 PM (GlyvH)

144 143 I think I’d prefer dying knowing nothing ever went up my ass

This is the flaw with the system. There are more than a few men, probably the majority, who'd rather die in agony than have some doctor shove stuff up their dumper.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:41 PM

--------------

Your body, your choice...but they give you light sedation before the colonoscopy and I have zero recollection of what happened, including that part.
Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:51 PM (1Au9i)

----------------------------------

Light sedation? I was out cold. Just remember that part as a pleasant nap.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 08:53 PM (OGOaV)

145 Your body, your choice...but they give you light sedation before the colonoscopy and I have zero recollection of what happened, including that part.
Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:51 PM (1Au9i)

I dimly remember her to start counting down from ten. Do not think I made it to 9.

Even the sedation for my wisdom teeth was not that door shuttingly sudden.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 30, 2025 08:53 PM (E2I8c)

146 Visiting my sister when she lived in Baltimore, it became a habit to get a copy of the weekly City Paper, which published his column. I'd try to read it aloud, to her great amusement as I often could not get through it without laughing. He was good friends with Stephen King at one time. Not sure if that is still the case..

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 30, 2025 08:53 PM (bA75n)

147 Your body, your choice...but they give you light sedation before the colonoscopy and I have zero recollection of what happened, including that part.
Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:51 PM (1Au9i)

I dimly remember her to start counting down from ten. Do not think I made it to 9.

Even the sedation for my wisdom teeth was not that door shuttingly sudden.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 30, 2025 08:53 PM (E2I8c)
---
For me, the room starts to spin, I say, "WHEEE!!!" and then it's light's out.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM (GlyvH)

148 Your body, your choice

Yes but you're missing the point. Maybe the way they are doing things is not ideal if your remedy is so unpleasant people would rather die in agony.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM (2VST1)

149 Can you imagine being the tech who has to shove those tubes up your backside, and then pull them out and clean them, for heaven's sake?

So, you want to date my daughter. What is it you do for a living?

Well...

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM (a4NoL)

150 From the Bee.

12 Changes Trump Would Make As Pope

https://shorturl.at/YOHeN

1. Communion wine will now be replaced with Diet Coke
4. The face of Trump will be painted over the face of Adam in the Sistine Chapel
9. Orange will now be the liturgical color of Easter, Pentecost, and Advent

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM (L/fGl)

151 I know I’m off topic, but trying to find the book Bulg mentioned but didn’t name, the list of who’s to blame for the Epstein operation resembles that meme of the multiple spidermen each pointing at the others. It was them that did it, no them. I’m beginning to think every intelligence agency, five eyes plus, was in on it. What was the name of that book, Bulg?

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM (sagpo)

152 I recall with horror my first digital prostate exam. I headed straight to the bar immediately afterwards to try and erase memories of the experience.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM (mH6SG)

153
Lewis Gizzard was awesome.

He had many great essays. The one I always remember is about taking baths.

He couldn't understand why people take baths to sit in bath water that was full of their shit.

I've hate baths because, why do you want to sit in your shit remnants and he nailed it.

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 08:55 PM (3ek7K)

154 Good callout, Buck! I instantly subscribed to Dave Barry's Substack for a year when it was suggested to me.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy (OT but harmless) at April 30, 2025 08:55 PM (v23vE)

155 Orange will now be the liturgical color of Easter, Pentecost, and Advent

Yeah, the Dutch would love that

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:55 PM (2VST1)

156 I always liked Dave Barry slightly more than Lewis Grizzard (even though I could relate to Grizzard a tad more) and neither of them as much as Jerry Clower.

And then I discovered Peter Egan, which was a whole different type of specialization.

Do people like that exist anymore? I assume not since no one reads newspapers. They're like made-for-TV movies or special episodes of TV shows that everyone would watch and talk about at work the next day.

It's sort of interesting to observe the death of shared experiences leading to the decline of a shared culture. I mean, it sucks to be standing in the middle of it while observing, but still.

Posted by: Boron Cobbie - Satisfy your male boss, ignore your husband's desires at April 30, 2025 08:56 PM (yWTRD)

157 82 I loved Dave's liveblog of the series "24."
Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 30, 2025 08:17 PM (USyCi)

Same here, GotC. Thinking about it makes me want to shoot someone in the thigh and set up a perimeter.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy (OT but harmless) at April 30, 2025 08:56 PM (v23vE)

158 I used to really like James Lileks but he lost his nut when Trump won and doubled down painfully hard during the Wuhan Flu lockdowns.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:56 PM (2VST1)

159 I don’t think they do digital exams anymore just as part of a physical . Also a lot of doctors don’t even request a PSA though I still request out of habit.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 30, 2025 08:57 PM (VofaG)

160 What a sweet story with your Dad! <3

Posted by: Iris at April 30, 2025 08:57 PM (bOJ2I)

161
Urologist: You know, it's not unusual for a man to uncontrollably become sexually aroused during this process.

Patient: Not me, Doc. I'm straight.

Urologist: I wasn't talking about the patient.

Posted by: davidt at April 30, 2025 08:58 PM (i0F8b)

162 Does GoLYTELY taste anything like SuPrep?

Gah! I couldn't finish my prep-kit with SuPrep-- had to go pick up an "alternate" one at the ER.

SuPrep was so absolutely VILE that... I could not manage to choke it down. I mean, have you ever tried to swallow while your body was actively puking?

Posted by: JQ at April 30, 2025 08:58 PM (rdVOm)

163 I preemptively stopped reading lileks back when. I figured, considering his company and the people around him, he would probably get sucked into TDS. Did not want to ruin good memories.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 30, 2025 08:58 PM (E2I8c)

164 I will firmly stand by the maxim that the butt is an exit, not an entrance.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at April 30, 2025 08:59 PM (mH6SG)

165 You guys are all upset about digital prostate exams. You should seen the old days with analog prostate exams!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 08:59 PM (sagpo)

166 Orange will now be the liturgical color of Easter, Pentecost, and Advent

That'll suck for the hymn composers.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 30, 2025 09:01 PM (gKWVE)

167 SuPrep was so absolutely VILE that... I could not manage to choke it down. I mean, have you ever tried to swallow while your body was actively puking?
Posted by: JQ

With practice, you can swallow anything.

Posted by: Mrs. Emhoff at April 30, 2025 09:01 PM (G5+As)

168 Lileks still has some interesting stuff at his website. But it’s all the old stuff. I don’t even look at anything he’s doing now.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 09:01 PM (sagpo)

169 I actually didn't have to use GoLYTELY for my exam. They basically had me mix up a gatorade/miralax concoction. Cleaned me out good, and not having eaten for two days brought my blood sugar down to levels not seen since... well, ever.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:01 PM (OGOaV)

170 My Doctor told me not to worry. He said it's normal to get an erection during a prostate exam.

I said, "But Doc, I don't have an erection."

He said, "Well, I do."

Posted by: Bombadil at April 30, 2025 09:02 PM (MX0bI)

171 I'm probably going to get banned at Instapundit.

Is that even possible?

Posted by: pawn at April 30, 2025 09:02 PM (QB+5g)

172 >>>a gatorade/miralax concoction

Yes. Much more palatable. That's what saved me from a last-minute cancellation.

Posted by: JQ at April 30, 2025 09:03 PM (rdVOm)

173 Would you rather have a barrel of dimes or a barrel of quarters?

Per Bing, a dime weighs 2.268 grams and a quarter 5.67 so the ratio is exactly 2.5:1. It's possible that one coin could have more air space than the other when piled randomly so that the barrels wouldn't weigh the same but I couldn't begin to even guess which. So, flip a coin?

Posted by: Oddbob at April 30, 2025 09:03 PM (/y8xj)

174

Well, to change the subject, if you've never bought Johnny's Garlic spread, you should try it.

I melt some butter and mix it with the spread and put it on bread and anything else you want.

It is awesome.

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 09:03 PM (3ek7K)

175 Yes but you're missing the point. Maybe the way they are doing things is not ideal if your remedy is so unpleasant people would rather die in agony.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM

--------------

I think people tend to exaggerate how awful colonoscopy is for some reason-- Oh I survived this terrible ordeal, aren't I a mensch -- which scares people into making bad choices. I don't know anyone that had a colonoscopy that really, honestly, thought it was so terrible that they wouldn't do it again. I'm sure there are some that feel this way but I think it's mostly legend.

Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 09:04 PM (1Au9i)

176 Who knows what the doctor's up to (the third knuckle!) after he's given you that roofie-colada.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 30, 2025 09:04 PM (kpS4V)

177 I'd put Dave Barry aside, he had gotten too serious about himself, always a bad thing for a comic to do.
I'll read through whatever is linked and see what's what.

Posted by: From about That Time at April 30, 2025 09:04 PM (n4GiU)

178 Yeah, well I had a colonscopy without sedation. When they tried to go up into the colon, I thought I was going to have to kill someone to make it stop. I don't do those. I also know that sometimes they manage to pierce the intestines, which happened to an old local guy.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at April 30, 2025 09:06 PM (cvWHI)

179 The stuff they want you to drink for a colonoscopy has gotten less vile over the years. Almost any one could sip a little bit of it and, while not enjoying it, at least not retch. But it’s finishing that last glass, after so many, that your body knows it does not want, that takes a real effort of the will.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 09:06 PM (sagpo)

180 Pro Football Hall of Famer John Elway was driving the golf cart that his longtime agent, Jeff Sperbeck , fell off of, resulting in injuries leaving him on life support, Saturday (April 26) night, TMZ reports.

Sperbeck, 61, was reported to have a prognosis of "not good" and doctors reportedly notified his family that "there's no hope he will recover." The agent was riding on the back of the cart driven by Elway -- who was seated next to another business partner -- before falling off and hitting his head on asphalt at The Madison Club, a private country club in La Quinta, California.

Elway reportedly called 911 and Sperbeck was taken to Desert Regional Medical Center in Palm Springs, according to TMZ . Elway and Sperbeck had attended Stagecoach music festival earlier in the day with their wives and had left a party just prior to the accident occurring.

-
Plus Elway up and got old.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 30, 2025 09:06 PM (L/fGl)

181 OMG nooooooo! QWERTY are over represented on sex offender registries!

Have they considered not committing sex offenses?

I know this is a radical suggestion that will infringe on their self-expression...

Posted by: FeatherBlade at April 30, 2025 09:07 PM (+JCh0)

182 They basically had me mix up a gatorade/miralax concoction. Cleaned me out good, and not having eaten for two days brought my blood sugar down to levels not seen since... well, ever.
Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:01 PM (OGOaV)

------------------

That's what I've done too, after taking a couple of Dulcolax tablets. It's not that bad, albeit a lot to drink at a time.

Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 09:08 PM (1Au9i)

183 Dave's 1992 column about the hurricane:

https://tinyurl.com/4bhxxub

"So I was in my yard, cutting and dragging trees, which is pretty much what I do these days, and I stopped to listen to the battery-powered radio, and the announcer informed me that there were 300 baboons on the loose.

And I thought to myself: Of course! Loose baboons! The one inconvenience we have not yet encountered this week!"

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 30, 2025 09:08 PM (kpS4V)

184
I think people tend to exaggerate how awful colonoscopy is for some reason-- Oh I survived this terrible ordeal, aren't I a mensch -- which scares people into making bad choices. I don't know anyone that had a colonoscopy that really, honestly, thought it was so terrible that they wouldn't do it again. I'm sure there are some that feel this way but I think it's mostly legend.
Posted by: Bigsmith

-

I think this is pretty close to the mark.

Similar to root canals. I had to have one a decade or so ago and it was a piece of cake. I absolutely dreaded it going in, and it was probably easier than just having a cavity filled since there was better anesthesia.

Posted by: Boron Cobbie - Satisfy your male boss, ignore your husband's desires at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (yWTRD)

185 --------------

Your body, your choice...but they give you light sedation before the colonoscopy and I have zero recollection of what happened, including that part.
Posted by: Bigsmith
---

Propofol, as she empties the milky solution into the manifold she says, take a deep breath, it's just oxygen. Lights out.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (wwsl/)

186 A guy at work at a former job life's was spared because of a colonoscopy.

According to him. He was out for a couple of months.

Posted by: pawn at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (QB+5g)

187 181 Yes but you're missing the point. Maybe the way they are doing things is not ideal if your remedy is so unpleasant people would rather die in agony.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM

--------------

I think people tend to exaggerate how awful colonoscopy is for some reason-- Oh I survived this terrible ordeal, aren't I a mensch -- which scares people into making bad choices. I don't know anyone that had a colonoscopy that really, honestly, thought it was so terrible that they wouldn't do it again. I'm sure there are some that feel this way but I think it's mostly legend.
Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 09:04 PM (1Au9i)

-----------------------------

Yeah, it's the prep that sucks. The procedure itself, you won't even remember it.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (OGOaV)

188 154 Can you imagine being the tech who has to shove those tubes up your backside, and then pull them out and clean them, for heaven's sake?

So, you want to date my daughter. What is it you do for a living?

Well...
Posted by: tcn in AK at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM (a4NoL

Ha! That's my nephew-in-law! Sweet guy, good musician, great husband and father.

Posted by: Emmie celebrates the Audacity of Trump! at April 30, 2025 09:10 PM (Sf2cq)

189 The smaller dimes would pack more tightly, all things being equal (they never are) so take the barrel of dimes. Still that’s a lot of dimes. Wouldn’t turn it down, just rather have silver dimes. That could be a small fortune depending on the size of the barrel!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 09:11 PM (sagpo)

190 Yeah, it's the prep that sucks. The procedure itself, you won't even remember it.
---------

Exactly.

Posted by: JQ at April 30, 2025 09:12 PM (rdVOm)

191 A woman I worked with was saved by a colonoscopy. And surgery.She was in her 50s.

Posted by: JM in Illinois at April 30, 2025 09:12 PM (PU21p)

192 Deliciously OT; I made Triple Tomato Soup today, using fresh tomatoes I had in the freezer from last year's crop, plus tomato paste and a jar of sun-dried tomatoes. Also garlic, S&P, Italian herbs, and a spoonful of beef bouillon. I put them all in the crockpot, used the immersion blender, and let it ruminate for hours. It is wonderfully flavorful.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at April 30, 2025 09:12 PM (kpS4V)

193 (goes to see if doctors that have to sit and look at that stuff every day make as much as orthopaedic surgeons because it seems like they maybe should)

Posted by: Boron Cobbie - Satisfy your male boss, ignore your husband's desires at April 30, 2025 09:13 PM (yWTRD)

194 Your body, your choice...but they give you light sedation before the colonoscopy and I have zero recollection of what happened, including that part.
Posted by: Bigsmith at April 30, 2025 08:51 PM (1Au9i)

My last colonoscopy, as the anesthesia nurse was about to administer the sleepy juice I said "see you on the other side." He got a horrified look on his face and said "don't say that!"

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 30, 2025 09:13 PM (ExV1e)

195
How are you feeling, Moki? Healing?
Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 30, 2025 07:54 PM (7uM8h)

i stepped away and saw your comment! how are you? husband can walk well now after his hip replacement, my broken rib is healed, and the tumor in my thyroid has shrunk, so i'm doing great!

Posted by: Moki at April 30, 2025 09:14 PM (wLjpr)

196 It is wonderfully flavorful.

That does sound terrific

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 30, 2025 09:14 PM (2VST1)

197 > They basically had me mix up a gatorade/miralax concoction.
----------
To this day, Gatorade gives me the runs after having done that.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 30, 2025 09:15 PM (Q4IgG)

198 My last colonoscopy, as the anesthesia nurse was about to administer the sleepy juice I said "see you on the other side." He got a horrified look on his face and said "don't say that!"
Posted by: I used to have a different nic

Guess he was old enough to watch the first Flatliners and too old to see the disgrace of the remake

Posted by: gKWVE at April 30, 2025 09:16 PM (gKWVE)

199 “See you on the on the other side!” could be misunderstood. Still, if it is Heaven, that’s a _good_ place to meet.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 09:17 PM (sagpo)

200 157 I recall with horror my first digital prostate exam. I headed straight to the bar immediately afterwards to try and erase memories of the experience.
Posted by: Notorious BFD at April 30, 2025 08:54 PM (mH6SG)

Last great doctor I had (early 2000's) used a sonagram to check my prostate. Surprised this hasn't caught on...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 30, 2025 09:17 PM (bA75n)

201 I think this is pretty close to the mark.

Similar to root canals. I had to have one a decade or so ago and it was a piece of cake. I absolutely dreaded it going in, and it was probably easier than just having a cavity filled since there was better anesthesia.
Posted by: Boron Cobbie - Satisfy your male boss, ignore your husband's desires at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (yWTRD)

-----------------------------

I can have problems with root canals, depending on where they are, but that's just because my back teeth are notoriously difficult to numb up. Last filling I had back there, I could still feel the drill (much dimished, to be fair), even after multiple injections of novocaine). I finally told her to just get it done.

I first discovered this fact about myself when having my wisdom teeth removed. That was a very unpleasant experience. Since then, I've always warned dentists that I'm going to need more novocaine than they think.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:17 PM (OGOaV)

202 Can you imagine being the tech who has to shove those tubes up your backside, and then pull them out and clean them, for heaven's sake?

-
You mean the assholologist?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 30, 2025 09:17 PM (L/fGl)

203 Similar to root canals. I had to have one a decade or so ago and it was a piece of cake. I absolutely dreaded it going in, and it was probably easier than just having a cavity filled since there was better anesthesia.
Posted by: Boron Cobbie - Satisfy your male boss, ignore your husband's desires at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (yWTRD)

Last root canal I had the doctor put a bite block in and I fell asleep for a bit.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 30, 2025 09:17 PM (ExV1e)

204 My last colonoscopy was last year. I hijacked a book thread during the prep. But those are right who say that (given anaesthetic) it's the prep that sucks. They put me under; next thing I remember is my wife bending down over me asking if I'm coming to.

And for funny writers (non-fiction) its hard to be Chesterton.

Posted by: Eeyore at April 30, 2025 09:18 PM (1bNHn)

205 Yeah, it's the prep that sucks. The procedure itself, you won't even remember it.
Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (OGOaV)

And the prep consists of... don't eat today, drink som unpleasant stuff, poop - a lot. It's mildly annoying.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 30, 2025 09:19 PM (ExV1e)

206
Save us cobloggers.

It's way past time for a fun thread that doesn't involve sticking things up people's asses.

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 09:20 PM (3ek7K)

207 Thank you for alerting me to the existence of Dave Barry's substack - I subscribed right away.

It will supplement, not replace, AoS in my daily reading.

I used to read him in the paper, read his books but didn't like his tv show too much.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 30, 2025 09:20 PM (QGaXH)

208 The first digital prostate exam I had was for the navy. Every guy that came out of that office had eyes as big as saucers. Later, I saw him talking to other doctors, saying "I'm the one they'll remember."

Posted by: Eeyore at April 30, 2025 09:20 PM (1bNHn)

209 "My last Colonoscopy" would be a terrible Band name.
Posted by: Miklos opines at April 30, 2025 09:18 PM (IKhKt)

Better than "My Next Colonoscopy".

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 30, 2025 09:21 PM (ExV1e)

210 209 No One of Cosequence: you’re not a redhead are you? Redheads notoriously are more sensitive to pain. Apparently it’s in the genetics that makes them redheads.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 09:22 PM (sagpo)

211 It's way past time for a fun thread that doesn't involve sticking things up people's asses.
Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 09:20 PM (3ek7K)

Tonight's Cafe... the giant list of stuff doctor's have pulled out of people's asses.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 30, 2025 09:22 PM (ExV1e)

212 My favorite Barry column of all time was his 2020 Year in Review. You can start reading at Marpril:
https://tinyurl.com/295o7wxz

Posted by: Clio Weeps at April 30, 2025 09:23 PM (kSAM8)

213 214 Yeah, it's the prep that sucks. The procedure itself, you won't even remember it.
Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (OGOaV)

And the prep consists of... don't eat today, drink som unpleasant stuff, poop - a lot. It's mildly annoying.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 30, 2025 09:19 PM (ExV1e)

------------------------------------

And it wasn't even the pooping that was a problem. Drinking 32oz of the mixture in the space of about 45 minutes is what did it for me. The first glass was no problem. I thought, this'll be easy. By the 4th glass, it was deep breaths and small little sips.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:24 PM (OGOaV)

214 192 A guy at work at a former job life's was spared because of a colonoscopy.

According to him. He was out for a couple of months.
Posted by: pawn at April 30, 2025 09:09 PM (QB+5g)

That's a damn thorough colonoscopy! Did they have to use teams?

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 30, 2025 09:24 PM (bA75n)

215 221 It's way past time for a fun thread that doesn't involve sticking things up people's asses.
Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 09:20 PM (3ek7K)

Tonight's Cafe... the giant list of stuff doctor's have pulled out of people's asses.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 30, 2025 09:22 PM (ExV1e)

-----------------------------------

"It was a million-to-one shot, doc..."

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:25 PM (OGOaV)

216 220 209 No One of Cosequence: you’re not a redhead are you? Redheads notoriously are more sensitive to pain. Apparently it’s in the genetics that makes them redheads.
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 09:22 PM (sagpo)

---------------------------------------

Nah, I have a soul. Though I will admit a healthy attraction to redheaded ladies.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 30, 2025 09:27 PM (OGOaV)

217 What did Dave Barry do during the intervening 20 years? I can only assume he was giving handjobs to hobos unless he can prove otherwise.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 30, 2025 09:28 PM (NehaE)

218 > Tonight's Cafe... the giant list of stuff doctor's have pulled out of people's asses.
-------
The dude with several Hot Wheels toy cars shoved up there would be pretty high on the list of WTF.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 30, 2025 09:30 PM (Q4IgG)

219 Didn’t read all of the comments, just wanted to get on the board before the Qty got to 300. The dead zone, I’ve experienced before…

Hi. I’m a moron. I’m a bit over 29.
But I grew up in the 70s listening to Dr Demento. On short road trips back from Grandpa’s, mostly on Sunday evenings, I talked dad into tuning in once. He loved it!! Somehow he had heard Alan Sherman previously and knew about those songs. Mom and Dad laughed about most of the bits, thought some were stupid ( but not 13 year old me), and it became a thing on our trips back.
Was this just a So Cal thing, or was it syndicated ?
Who else here enjoyed this as a yute?

Posted by: Gunslinger at April 30, 2025 09:36 PM (65a8d)

220 209 No One of Cosequence: you’re not a redhead are you? Redheads notoriously are more sensitive to pain. Apparently it’s in the genetics that makes them redheads.
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 09:22 PM (sagpo)

That is backwards. Redheads have a notably higher tolerance for pain that makes anesthesiologists have to work harder and doc / pharmacists adjust pain meds doses and intervals.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 30, 2025 09:36 PM (Aqu9a)

221 I wants to thanx Presdent Obama foor doing all the hard work to gets that mineril thing with Ukrane.

Thank yoo Presdent obama and we still loves yoo.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, Vt at April 30, 2025 09:39 PM (FDlb9)

222
Fuck off Mary

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 09:39 PM (3ek7K)

223 ‘Code Talk To White Guys‘

… at least now I know why I never had a chance

Posted by: SMOD at April 30, 2025 09:40 PM (GITLP)

224 I listened to Brother Dave Gardner, Red Foxx, Moms Mabley, and Gene Tracey. All except Brother Dave were considered trash.

Posted by: Eromero at April 30, 2025 09:41 PM (LHPAg)

225 Prep was bad for me because I forced myself to finish drinking all of it and ended up throwing up as well as cleaning out the poop cute.
Half the volume of prep would have been enough to do the job.

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 30, 2025 09:42 PM (GhIJO)

226 My last Colonoscopy" would be a terrible Band name.
Posted by: Miklos opines at April 30, 2025 09:18 PM (IKhKt)

Better than "My Next Colonoscopy".
Posted by: I used to have a

My Little Oscopy

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 30, 2025 09:43 PM (GhIJO)

227 I have never heard of Dave Barry. Then again I live on the Great Plains and the pony express runs only irregularly.

Posted by: Archer at April 30, 2025 09:44 PM (IDphi)

228 HTS-linked militias launch an attack on the Druze and Christian town of Sahnaya on the outskirts of Damascus.

Israel has launched airstrikes against the militias, trying to stop their attacks

https://tinyurl.com/yru7daxy

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 30, 2025 09:45 PM (wwsl/)

229 OK, don't get it... Zelensky has gone back on every deal he's said he'd make... and has said no Peace deal in Ukraine, and continues to use our weapons to attack interior Russia, while Dis'n Trump...

And we sign a mineral deal with Uke? Which puts more political pressure on to defend them?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 30, 2025 09:45 PM (QAkQ3)

230 233 you just beat me to it. i woke up during surgery b/c anesthesia was too light in 93, 10, and 23.

Posted by: DenverGregg at April 30, 2025 09:45 PM (d/3RC)

231 Hey gunslinger, I made a CD of Dr Demento to introduce to my kids in jr high. I forced them to listen on our annual Spring Break Ski Trip (to much eyerolling). Invariably we carried other school chums on the trip. As an after-trip gift they got a copy.

Those "kids" are all parents now, and tell me they torture their children with those copies.

Posted by: Crouching chigger at April 30, 2025 09:47 PM (LjJ5Y)

232 Dr Demento was good because he discovered Weird Al.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 30, 2025 09:48 PM (VofaG)

233 Sorry I got the redhead thing backwards. When I was still an active physicist I was noted for saying things like magnetism when I meant gravity. I was an authentic absent minded professor, still am that way. In conversation with the deacon who’s helping me with my health problems I misidentified the date I was saved. I was working backwards to remember the date (memorable for me but not so much the date) and got the year wrong. This bothered me so much that I called him and left a voicemail on his phone correcting the date.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 30, 2025 09:49 PM (sagpo)

234
49 degrees here in SW Wyoming. What is the temperature in your area?

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 09:51 PM (3ek7K)

235 The dude with several Hot Wheels toy cars shoved up there would be pretty high on the list of WTF.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 30, 2025 09:30 PM (Q4IgG)

Hey! I'm walkin' here!

Posted by: the gerbil at April 30, 2025 09:51 PM (gKWVE)

236 247
49 degrees here in SW Wyoming. What is the temperature in your area?

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 09:51 PM (3ek7K)

61 degrees by the beach here in Huntington

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 30, 2025 09:54 PM (QGaXH)

237 >>> 232 Didn’t read all of the comments, just wanted to get on the board before the Qty got to 300. The dead zone, I’ve experienced before…

Hi. I’m a moron. I’m a bit over 29.
But I grew up in the 70s listening to Dr Demento. On short road trips back from Grandpa’s, mostly on Sunday evenings, I talked dad into tuning in once. He loved it!! Somehow he had heard Alan Sherman previously and knew about those songs. Mom and Dad laughed about most of the bits, thought some were stupid ( but not 13 year old me), and it became a thing on our trips back.
Was this just a So Cal thing, or was it syndicated ?
Who else here enjoyed this as a yute?
Posted by: Gunslinger at April 30, 2025 09:36 PM (65a8d)

Dr. Demento was also on some station in the NoVa region.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at April 30, 2025 09:59 PM (Vqx30)

238 Used to always read DB, read a book or two of his, and always looked forward to his year-in-review.

Somewhere along the line, either he went left or I went right, or something, I don't remember what (like a lot of things I moved away from), and I gave up on him. Didn't even read his 2024 year-in-review.

Also didn't read the quotes in the post, nor any comments after #50, but that was mostly so I could jump down here to comment before the ONT.

Too late?

Posted by: mindful webworker - would be a good name for a band at April 30, 2025 10:01 PM (IcX7N)

239
ONT

Posted by: four seasons at April 30, 2025 10:04 PM (3ek7K)

240 "...and don't forget to fart..."

Posted by: Mudshark at April 30, 2025 10:33 PM (w8fax)

241 Many, many thanks for this!!!

The prostate exam of Florida, on the Gulf of Canada, is about as funny as his colonoscopy column.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 30, 2025 11:36 PM (6PCLE)

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