First World Problems...

Two shoes. One stays tied...one doesn't. And that's the culprit in the photo. The laces may be a bit short for my taste, but still, I do know how to tie a knot!

Did the shoe manufacturer spill some oil on one shoe, or even worse plot it carefully so one knot would never stay tied?

Is this a plot by Big Lace?

[Probably aided and abetted by Big Penguin]

Posted by: CBD at 02:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Oneith

Posted by: Skip i at March 09, 2025 02:01 PM (fwDg9)

2 Not sure I can help on this one

Posted by: Skip i at March 09, 2025 02:03 PM (fwDg9)

3 Good bye, DoggLogg.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at March 09, 2025 02:03 PM (3wi/L)

4 Maybe you walk funny, CBD.

Posted by: JQ at March 09, 2025 02:03 PM (rdVOm)

5 LOL Are your feet different sizes? My left foot is wider than my right and I switched to loafers for that reason.

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 02:03 PM (2NXcZ)

6 I notice that it is the LEFT shoe that doesn't stay tied.

Lefties can never do any job properly!

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at March 09, 2025 02:04 PM (Q4Dc6)

7 CBD's foot: You can tie the shoelace, but you can't take away My Freedom!

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 02:04 PM (VNX3d)

8 Tie a double knot.

Posted by: Ben Had at March 09, 2025 02:04 PM (mB6WH)

9 Tie that shit in a double knot! Better yet replace the strings with the flat type that stay tied!

Posted by: Madame Mayhem (uppity wench) at March 09, 2025 02:04 PM (4XwPj)

10 CBD wants to tie one on!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at March 09, 2025 02:06 PM (L/fGl)

11
Just wait a few years.
All of your shoes will use Velcro.

Posted by: Residents of The Villages at March 09, 2025 02:06 PM (dg+HA)

12 My 1st world problem is that one of my socks gets twisted around so that the no-slip part is on top of my foot, instead of against the floor. Always the left, never the right.

Posted by: JQ at March 09, 2025 02:06 PM (rdVOm)

13 So knot really a first world problem?

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at March 09, 2025 02:06 PM (3FwIG)

14 Good bye, DoggLogg.
Posted by: Dr. Claw at March 09, 2025 02:03 PM (3wi/L)

Why?

Posted by: Madame Mayhem (uppity wench) at March 09, 2025 02:07 PM (4XwPj)

15 My 1st world problem is that one of my socks gets twisted around so that the no-slip part is on top of my foot, instead of against the floor. Always the left, never the right.

Posted by: JQ at March 09, 2025 02:06 PM (rdVOm)
-

Elmers.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at March 09, 2025 02:07 PM (3FwIG)

16 spill some oil on one shoe, or even worse plot it carefully so one knot would never stay tied?

Is this a plot by Big Lace?

[Probably aided and abetted by Big Penguin]

All penguins are oily. If you kick them you'll get oily laces. It's not a plot but it is fishy.

Posted by: DaveA at March 09, 2025 02:08 PM (FhXTo)

17 Sure you know a square knot from a granny?

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 09, 2025 02:08 PM (/HoPU)

18 []ll of your shoes will use Velcro.
Posted by: Residents

We're ready when you are.

Posted by: Skechers at March 09, 2025 02:10 PM (FhXTo)

19 Sock it to me!

Posted by: Goldie Hawn at March 09, 2025 02:10 PM (dg+HA)

20 " Are your feet different sizes? My left foot is wider than my right and I switched to loafers for that reason"
*******
Same here. And the right lace always unties. But loafers end up too loose on the right and too tight on the left foot.

Posted by: Cosda at March 09, 2025 02:11 PM (/R8vF)

21 I stopped square-knotting my shoelaces after I fell at work:

Was working near a moveable table, and caught a shoelace on one of the caster-locks. Ended up on my a$$ pronto, on concrete floor. Lucky I wasn't badly injured.

Posted by: JQ at March 09, 2025 02:11 PM (rdVOm)

22

Wax your shoelace.

https://youtu.be/vSa_442cYFI

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 09, 2025 02:12 PM (63Dwl)

23 Switch to slip-ons.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 09, 2025 02:12 PM (Q4IgG)

24 Go barefoot!

Posted by: JQ at March 09, 2025 02:12 PM (rdVOm)

25 Knotty shoes should Not be Problem in the 21st Century -- Solution: use the bow loops and tie a second knot over the first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F50QIqh8so
And Don't Forget to VOTE!

Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at March 09, 2025 02:13 PM (+UuBH)

26 My 1st world problem is that one of my socks gets twisted around so that the no-slip part is on top of my foot, instead of against the floor. Always the left, never the right.

Posted by: JQ at March 09, 2025 02:06 PM (rdVOm)
-

Elmers.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at March 09, 2025 02:07 PM (3FwIG)

Staples

Posted by: Hedley Lamarr at March 09, 2025 02:13 PM (UWRAE)

27
The best knots come from Asia.
Especially Tie-land.

Posted by: Oh, no. 1st world punz at March 09, 2025 02:14 PM (dg+HA)

28 23 Switch to slip-ons.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 09, 2025 02:12 PM (Q4IgG)

That was my choice. Now with fewer widths available, life is harder.

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 02:14 PM (2NXcZ)

29 14
'Why?'

I don't care why as long as he's gone.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at March 09, 2025 02:14 PM (3wi/L)

30 My 1st world problem is that one of my socks gets twisted around so that the no-slip part is on top of my foot, instead of against the floor. Always the left, never the right.

Posted by: JQ at March 09, 2025 02:06 PM (rdVOm)
-

Elmers.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at March 09, 2025 02:07 PM (3FwIG)

Staples
Posted by: Hedley Lamarr
-------

Hmmm. There's a nailgun out in the shop....

Posted by: JQ at March 09, 2025 02:14 PM (rdVOm)

31 Have the same problem with one work boot (the left.) Will not stay tied for love nor money.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 02:14 PM (/x6eu)

32 Naughty presidents on the other hand are another story.
https://y.yarn.co/3e87a2c0-e900-4bd8-a1c6-452125e2a0f0.mp4

Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at March 09, 2025 02:15 PM (+UuBH)

33 Staple Gun.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 09, 2025 02:15 PM (/lPRQ)

34 My late brother-in-law taught me a shoe-tying method that has a non-bulky knot, stays tied, and yet is still easy to untie by pulling an end. I do not know the name of the method, sorry.

Posted by: Emmie at March 09, 2025 02:15 PM (Sf2cq)

35 Shoelace puns?
Sure. Y knot?

Posted by: Make it stop at March 09, 2025 02:17 PM (dg+HA)

36 Red Swingline Stapler.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 02:17 PM (VNX3d)

37 I'm actually surprised that no one's suggested a cable tie.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (VNX3d)

38 My late brother-in-law taught me a shoe-tying method that has a non-bulky knot, stays tied, and yet is still easy to untie by pulling an end. I do not know the name of the method, sorry.

My cousin showed me how to transmute lead into gold. It's really easy with one common household chemical, but I've forgotten what it is. Sorry.

Posted by: Archimedes at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (xCA6C)

39 My shoestring issue is on the tennis court . If you slide on the court to the ball you drag your back foot which frays the shoestring and eventually will break.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (VofaG)

40
I recently bought these shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Posted by: Groan at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (dg+HA)

41 36 Red Swingline Stapler.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 02:17 PM (VNX3d)

So it was YOU!

Posted by: Milton Waddams at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (PiwSw)

42 33 Staple Gun.

Those are for sissies. Real men use a nail gun on their oxfords.

Posted by: Archimedes at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (xCA6C)

43 Put knots on the very end, then pull the loops on your bow ties until it cinches. Or buy better laces, I often do for brogues.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (Xs27e)

44 To be honest, shoelaces are becoming something of a "niche commodity." I have a pair of casual high top shoes that are not specifically "athletic" shoes, but finding laces for them, black, of a certain length and width is not trivial.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 09, 2025 02:20 PM (Q4IgG)

45 My first world problem is my left big toe. It's like a little battering ram that punches holes in my socks and slippers and would do the same for my shoes given time.

Posted by: BChasm Phone at March 09, 2025 02:21 PM (XIgpv)

46 I've seen something about how, if you tie them backwards or opposite or reverse, IDK, from the order you normally tie, they won't come untied.

That is, the way we were taught to tie them is not a good knot.

I just make an overhand knot out of the loops ....

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 09, 2025 02:22 PM (iQHOh)

47 My cousin showed me how to transmute lead into gold. It's really easy with one common household chemical, but I've forgotten what it is. Sorry.
Posted by: Archimedes at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (xCA6C)

I would be happy to demonstrate at a MoMe. How about after the rifle clinic and before the handgun drills? Or even after the drinking starts would be okay.

Posted by: Emmie at March 09, 2025 02:22 PM (Sf2cq)

48 Skechers started the whole slip in casual/ tennis shoes .

On a side note , Skechers is one of those Mandela Effects. People insist they have seen it spelled Sketchers.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:22 PM (VofaG)

49 Construct a fringed litter using a lathe, then hire a retinue of oiled manservants to carry you in the litter everywhere you need to go, thus obviating the need to walk.

Posted by: Guy Fleegman as William F. Buckley at March 09, 2025 02:23 PM (PiwSw)

50 My cousin showed me how to transmute lead into gold. It's really easy with one common household chemical, but I've forgotten what it is. Sorry.
Posted by: Archimedes at March 09, 2025 02:19 PM (xCA6C)

I would be happy to demonstrate at a MoMe. How about after the rifle clinic and before the handgun drills? Or even after the drinking starts would be okay.

Are you going to give me a head start?

Posted by: Archimedes at March 09, 2025 02:23 PM (xCA6C)

51 I'm sure all we all can tie our shoes, but there is a right way and wrong ways. How to tie a shoe correctly:

https://tinyurl.com/39hxxms4

Posted by: javems at March 09, 2025 02:23 PM (vnWrV)

52 James Gregory on disease.

https://shorturl.at/Fj9Aj

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at March 09, 2025 02:24 PM (L/fGl)

53 Are you going to give me a head start?
Posted by: Archimedes at March 09, 2025 02:23 PM (xCA6C)

Drinking? Shoe tying? Line at the porta-potty?

Posted by: Emmie at March 09, 2025 02:24 PM (Sf2cq)

54 Are you going to give me a head start?
Posted by: Archimedes at March 09, 2025 02:23 PM (xCA6C)

You'll just die tired.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 02:25 PM (/x6eu)

55 Knots and Lashings was the merit badge I wish I still carried the knowledge from.

Instead, I slum around with square knots, granny knots and double-half hitches.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 09, 2025 02:25 PM (iQHOh)

56
My roommate walks into my room and starts tying knots in my phone's charging cable.

Without hesitating, I said, "You know, that's knot in a cord with what most people call good manners."

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 09, 2025 02:25 PM (dg+HA)

57 Werewolves don't wear shoes. If I want to kick someone in the groin I use my cane.

Then I cry racism.

Posted by: Field Marshal Al Green at March 09, 2025 02:26 PM (wBaIH)

58 Just replace the laces. Get fabric laces instead of cord laces, or get those stretchy “spandex” laces.

Posted by: Abehawks at March 09, 2025 02:26 PM (PneF7)

59 As a former PE teacher, I've tied A LOT of kindergarteners' shoes. Two instead of one loop around the bow, and that lace "ain't goin' nowhere".

Posted by: Turn 2 at March 09, 2025 02:27 PM (6TlG5)

60 A plot by Big Slipon!

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 02:27 PM (W/lyH)

61 If you can't tie a knot, tie a lot...

Posted by: GEN Jack D. Ripper at March 09, 2025 02:27 PM (7rjm5)

62 Have you switched the laces? My first world problem is our Ramen shop is in a mobile and I have to pay extra for delivery. Drive to Mobile myself? That is crazy talk.

Posted by: Piper at March 09, 2025 02:27 PM (pZEOD)

63 I caught the loop of my knot on the fast hook of the othe shoe in my new Keens the first time I wore them. So now I double lace around that 'convenience' feature and make sure the loops in the laces are small.

Posted by: PaleRider at March 09, 2025 02:27 PM (34pOu)

64 Give up, wear the crocs.

Posted by: These fish sticks are hard as tits at March 09, 2025 02:28 PM (SrvsP)

65 It's a noose!!!

Posted by: Bubba Wallace, not yet finished with his 15 minutes at March 09, 2025 02:28 PM (PiwSw)

66 My roommate walks into my room and starts tying knots in my phone's charging cable.

Without hesitating, I said, "You know, that's knot in a cord with what most people call good manners."
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 09, 2025 02:25 PM (dg+HA)

How naughty!

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 02:29 PM (W/lyH)

67 I think CBD is really just fishing us for info on whether Crocs comes in a dress shoe style ....

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 09, 2025 02:29 PM (iQHOh)

68 Give up, wear the crocs.
Posted by: These fish sticks are hard as tits at March 09, 2025 02:28 PM (SrvsP)

Do they make steel toes?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 02:30 PM (/x6eu)

69 I tuck the laces into the boot.

Posted by: Reforger at March 09, 2025 02:30 PM (xcIvR)

70
If one is an expert in tying knots,
One does knot simply.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 09, 2025 02:30 PM (dg+HA)

71 There was actually a study done on this. Probably with a federal grant. The primary reason one shoe becomes untied more than the other is how you (the shoe wearer) act when stationary.

If you're sitting, you might cross your feet. Generally, the same foot will always be on top rubbing the knot on the other shoe. Some people have a tendency to do that when standing still. They will cross their feet. If you kick with one foot more comfortably than the other, then you can expect more movement of that foot. Which foot do you start walking with every single time. Because, that's a factor too.

I'm not making this up.

Posted by: Orson at March 09, 2025 02:31 PM (dIske)

72 Here is a first world problem brought to Britain by the third world . The British PM has inexplicably blocked a bill that bans First cousin marriage. I wonder who that ban was directed at.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:31 PM (VofaG)

73 Give up, wear the crocs.
Posted by: These fish sticks are hard as tits at March 09, 2025 02:28 PM (SrvsP)

Do they make steel toes?
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 02:30 PM (/x6eu)

The time to worry is when they start making fishing waders. I suppose, though, you might catch more fish in the holes in the waders than from your fishing pole.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 02:32 PM (VNX3d)

74

Cut your feet off and get some slip on stumpers!

Posted by: My Pimp Shot My Dealer at March 09, 2025 02:32 PM (v0vCC)

75 One does knot simply walk into Mordor!

Posted by: Boromir at March 09, 2025 02:32 PM (Uh8P4)

76 I think it's the laces. Swap laces and see if your right shoe does stay tied.

Or, just buy some new laces. Sheesh. They're not expensive.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at March 09, 2025 02:32 PM (ZmEVT)

77 It’s because you’re lefthanded, CBD. My right shoe won’t stay tied.

Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 02:33 PM (LHPAg)

78 Knot knot.
Shoes there.

Posted by: Choose their who? at March 09, 2025 02:33 PM (dg+HA)

79 I though that all the British upper class were inbred. Marry your first cousin and keep the money in the family.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at March 09, 2025 02:34 PM (ZmEVT)

80 I tuck the laces into the boot.
Posted by: Reforger at March 09, 2025 02:30 PM (xcIvR)

I still have my Cocorans around here somewhere.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 02:34 PM (W/lyH)

81 Posted by: no one of any consequence at March 09, 2025 02:34 PM (ZmEVT)

You have a point.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:34 PM (VofaG)

82 It's probably an alignment problem. Check into your local Bear Alignment Shop for service.

Posted by: The Big Wheel at March 09, 2025 02:35 PM (G5+As)

83 Pull the knot tighter.

Posted by: davidt at March 09, 2025 02:35 PM (i0F8b)

84 My First World Problem. My grandson, 12, just called needs a Cerberus for a presentation. Where do you find a decent Cerberus these days?

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 02:36 PM (2NXcZ)

85 22

Wax your shoelace.

https://youtu.be/vSa_442cYFI

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 09, 2025 02:12 PM (63Dwl)
---
Those look like waxed shoe laces to me. Maybe the shoelace manufacturer cut corners, using substandard wax.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 09, 2025 02:36 PM (LPS7w)

86 Pull the knot tighter.
Posted by: davidt at March 09, 2025 02:35 PM (i0F8b)

Would pushing the knot looser do the same thing?

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:36 PM (VofaG)

87 Hey, we're discussing shoelaces on a thread... Duuuuude..

Posted by: Somewhere, late at night, in a smoke-filled college dorm. at March 09, 2025 02:36 PM (PiwSw)

88 Are they tan shoes with pink shoelaces that go with your pokadot vest?

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at March 09, 2025 02:37 PM (Uh8P4)

89 Garrett somehow never complains about this problem.

Posted by: Croc Pot Ideas at March 09, 2025 02:37 PM (G5+As)

90 Here is a first world problem brought to Britain by the third world . The British PM has inexplicably blocked a bill that bans First cousin marriage. I wonder who that ban was directed at.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:31 PM (VofaG)

I'm gonna take a shot here and guess the same culturally enriching group that just celebrated Ramadan in Westminster Cathedral.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 02:37 PM (W/lyH)

91 84 My First World Problem. My grandson, 12, just called needs a Cerberus for a presentation. Where do you find a decent Cerberus these days?
Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 02:36 PM (2NXcZ
Do you have an asbestos suit?

Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 02:38 PM (LHPAg)

92 I cried because my shoelaces wouldn't stay tied. Then I met the Black Knight.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 09, 2025 02:38 PM (63Dwl)

93 I used to be able to tie my own shoes. Not anymore.

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 09, 2025 02:39 PM (i0F8b)

94 My First World Problem. My grandson, 12, just called needs a Cerberus for a presentation. Where do you find a decent Cerberus these days?
Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 02:36 PM (2NXcZ
Do you have an asbestos suit?
Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 02:38 PM (LHPAg)

The dog Cerberus Halloween costume is hilarious

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:40 PM (VofaG)

95 My 1WP I'm not enough sleep

Posted by: Skip i at March 09, 2025 02:41 PM (fwDg9)

96 I'm gonna take a shot here and guess the same culturally enriching group that just celebrated Ramadan in Westminster Cathedral.
Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 02:37 PM (W/lyH)

I like Ramadan noodles because they cook in only three minutes. I really like the Top Ramadan brand.

What's that? Oh.

Never mind.

Posted by: Emily Littella at March 09, 2025 02:41 PM (Uh8P4)

97 My First World Problem. My grandson, 12, just called needs a Cerberus for a presentation. Where do you find a decent Cerberus these days?
Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 02:36 PM (2NXcZ)

If a baseball adopted Cerberus for a mascot, would all their game dates be double-headers?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 09, 2025 02:41 PM (8zz6B)

98 54 Are you going to give me a head start?
Posted by: Archimedes at March 09, 2025 02:23 PM (xCA6C)

You'll just die tired.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 02:25 PM (/x6eu)

Thus proving that Archimedes CAN NOT be Hillary Clinton. QED.

Posted by: Dr. Bunsen N. Honeydew at March 09, 2025 02:42 PM (PiwSw)

99 When I broke my arm, I discovered these fabulous devices called loc(k) laces. They were made for runners so they wouldn't have to stop and tie. They are fabulous for tennis shoes. They are stretchy so, you put them in once and never have to fool with them again. Basically turn a lace up to a slip on. Several brands on amazon. And no, I am not on commission.

Posted by: Pamazon at March 09, 2025 02:42 PM (b5MGU)

100 Wax your shoelace.

https://youtu.be/vSa_442cYFI

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 09, 2025 02:12 PM (63Dwl)

Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy at March 09, 2025 02:43 PM (dgRL6)

101 Well Hell!
Here's your problem. One egglet is longer than the other. Consequently you will not run them through the eyelets properly and sure as Bob's your uncle, a poor knot as a result.
Be careful. You may find yourself walking in circles eventually.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 02:43 PM (W/lyH)

102

And after the spanking, the
gratuitous sodomy!

Posted by: Peter Bootygig at March 09, 2025 02:43 PM (v0vCC)

103 The British PM has inexplicably blocked a bill that bans First cousin marriage. I wonder who that ban was directed at.

Most married Pakistanis in Britain are married to their first cousins.

Since they have been doing this for centuries, I believe that a majority of the people with genetic diseases in Britain are Pakistani.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 02:44 PM (xTIDn)

104 I sometimes rub a little beeswax from an old candle stub on my laces if they seems to be getting slippery.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 09, 2025 02:44 PM (QESVl)

105 Burn the shoes.

Problem solved.

Posted by: zooomzooom at March 09, 2025 02:44 PM (eF1Cv)

106 Maybe you should switch to diabetes foot care shoes. They are equipped with the eyelets of Langerhans.

Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 02:45 PM (/iMjX)

107 I recall, days gone past, when men's laces for dress shoes were waxed. Hard to keep those tied.

Posted by: javems at March 09, 2025 02:45 PM (vnWrV)

108 The only lace-up shoes I now own are some old Army-surplus ones used for forays into the woods. Loafers and slip-on Mexican work boots for the rest. Being 29 has its privileges.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 09, 2025 02:45 PM (8zz6B)

109 I don't have any laced dress shoes.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:45 PM (VofaG)

110 I saw The Eyelets of Langerhans open for The.Sons of the Pioneers at the.Grand Ol Opery in 64.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 02:46 PM (W/lyH)

111 Lace up shoes are a PITA, even sneakers. There’s so many alternatives now for both casual and dress wear.
Thank God.

Posted by: kallisto at March 09, 2025 02:47 PM (C+B8Q)

112 If you train Cerberus properly he would be able to fetch sticks.

Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 02:48 PM (/iMjX)

113 I solved my bootlace problem with IRONLACE unbreaklables. Made in America, guaranteed, less than $5 for 84” tactical/combat bootlaces.

Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 02:49 PM (LHPAg)

114 I hope you are preparing yourself for tragic news - the WNBA players are threatening to go on strike.

The fact that they play in empty arenas (except when Caitlin Clark is playing) is not dissuading them.

Just think of the disruption if there are no WNBA games - the huge economic hit, the psychic consequences to the hundreds of WNBA fans, and the disruption to American life generally.

It is difficult to comprehend how serious this is.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 02:49 PM (xTIDn)

115 There was actually a study done on this. Probably with a federal grant. The primary reason one shoe becomes untied more than the other is how you (the shoe wearer) act when stationary.

If you're sitting, you might cross your feet. Generally, the same foot will always be on top rubbing the knot on the other shoe. Some people have a tendency to do that when standing still. They will cross their feet. If you kick with one foot more comfortably than the other, then you can expect more movement of that foot. Which foot do you start walking with every single time. Because, that's a factor too.

I'm not making this up.
Posted by: Orson
====

Probably by the same group who studied why given enough time some extension cords get twisted up into knots. $3.5M later they had figured it out - because you keep turning in circles when using the extension cord.

They received a $5.5M grant to solve why garden hoses get knotted up too. By God - because people keep turning in circles when using a hose to water.

Now they have a $8.5M grant to figure out why phone cords get knotted up... had to request additional funds to special order phone cords because nobody makes them anymore.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 09, 2025 02:49 PM (/lPRQ)

116 The Grommet of Eyelet sounds like a medieval royal position.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 02:49 PM (VofaG)

117 Merrill Sneakers. Or sports shoes or whatever they call them.
Came with a pair of 63" inch laces, which when I tied them left them with loops so large they were a death trap waiting for me to trip and break my neck.
So I ordered a pair of 54". which were better for a while until they stretched out, and now they are trying to kill me. Something like $8 for the pair too.
So now I'm planning to buy 45", which will bring me up to $16 of laces for some sneakers I got for about $70.

Posted by: From about That Time at March 09, 2025 02:49 PM (n4GiU)

118 There's a trick to having a knot that won't come loose, which is to simply reverse the over-under on the standard lace knot.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at March 09, 2025 02:50 PM (XMwZJ)

119 "Maybe you walk funny, CBD.
Posted by: JQ"

Are you calling CBD a clown?

Double knot. It's a thing.

Posted by: fd at March 09, 2025 02:50 PM (vFG9F)

120 Just think of the disruption if there are no WNBA games - the huge economic hit, the psychic consequences to the hundreds of WNBA fans, and the disruption to American life generally.

It is difficult to comprehend how serious this is.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 02:49 PM (xTIDn)

Each NBA team will now be able to afford four extra basketballs and two spare backboards?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 02:51 PM (VNX3d)

121 Velcro is a rip-off.

Posted by: He's still doing it at March 09, 2025 02:51 PM (dg+HA)

122 https://youtu.be/zA6CLPQ47PA

I apologize for interrupting this thread.

4000 Dead in Syria.

The EU is blaming Assad (obvious bullshit). Video title says Trump has made a strong statement ... but I haven't got to that part of the video yet.

Posted by: You Really Don't Want to Know at March 09, 2025 02:51 PM (jcQqy)

123 I saw Steel Toed Crocs open for the Red stick Ramblers at the Howlin Wolf in '89.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at March 09, 2025 02:52 PM (Xs27e)

124 It's square vs. granny knot.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at March 09, 2025 02:52 PM (XMwZJ)

125 It happens with my sneakers as well so that I'm continually having to retie one sneaker. So annoying!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 09, 2025 02:53 PM (FLZGU)

126 @ #122

Rubio has condemned violence.

Posted by: You Really Don't Want to Know at March 09, 2025 02:53 PM (jcQqy)

127 https://youtu.be/zA6CLPQ47PA

I apologize for interrupting this thread.

4000 Dead in Syria.

The EU is blaming Assad (obvious bullshit). Video title says Trump has made a strong statement ... but I haven't got to that part of the video yet.
Posted by: You Really Don't Want to Know
====
Damnedest Thing- Muslim majority rounding up and killing minorities. No one could have foreseen this.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 09, 2025 02:53 PM (/lPRQ)

128 126 @ #122

... goes on with the usual anti-semitic conspiracies unfortunately.

Posted by: You Really Don't Want to Know at March 09, 2025 02:54 PM (jcQqy)

129 Maybe it's when you start the knot. Do you go 'right over left' or 'left over right'. Try doing one shoe one way and the other shoe the opposite.

Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 02:54 PM (/iMjX)

130 Aglets dangling agley?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 09, 2025 02:54 PM (i79Sq)

131 The EU is blaming Assad (obvious bullshit).

Since the EU legitimized the new Syrian government, the government-sponsored massacres are a bit embarrassing for them.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 02:54 PM (xTIDn)

132 My friend's dog once ate an entire bootlace and it came out tied.

I shit you knot.

Posted by: Stop me if you've heard it at March 09, 2025 02:55 PM (dg+HA)

133 Someone on Twitter had video of someone who was killed in a country I couldn't identify.

I unfollowed. Current events news doesn't get a pass for decency.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at March 09, 2025 02:55 PM (Xs27e)

134 If a baseball adopted Cerberus for a mascot, would all their game dates be double-headers?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 09, 2025 02:41 PM (8zz6B)

He has 3 heads. The only Cerberus I can find is pitbull. Shouldn't it be a hound, as in Hell Hound?

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 02:55 PM (2NXcZ)

135 "Hey, we're discussing shoelaces on a thread... Duuuuude..
Posted by: Somewhere, late at night, in a smoke-filled college dorm"

125 comments and no mentions of aglets. You people are slacking.

Posted by: fd at March 09, 2025 02:55 PM (vFG9F)

136 "130 Aglets dangling agley?
Posted by: Anna Puma"

Heh. Thank you Anna.

Posted by: fd at March 09, 2025 02:56 PM (vFG9F)

137 129 Maybe it's when you start the knot. Do you go 'right over left' or 'left over right'. Try doing one shoe one way and the other shoe the opposite.
Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 02:54 PM (/iMjX)
Muldown brings the facts.

Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 02:57 PM (LHPAg)

138 I used to double knot my running shoes but not anymore. They never come untied but I also don’t run very far anymore. Try walking less and take your shoes off inside.

Posted by: High tech at March 09, 2025 02:57 PM (37cEZ)

139 112 If you train Cerberus properly he would be able to fetch sticks.
Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 02:48 PM (/iMjX)

I just want a respectable Cerberus. Is that so much to ask?

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 02:57 PM (2NXcZ)

140 Easy fix.

Duct tape.

Duh!

Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 02:58 PM (/iMjX)

141 Pamazon--My husband swears by his lock laces. He uses Xpand No Tie Elastic Shoelaces. Sorry, CBD, I don't think they work for dress shoes.

Okay, yours may not actually be dress shoes, but to us retired folks they are.

Posted by: Art Rondelet of Malmsey at March 09, 2025 02:59 PM (FEVMW)

142 Or it is time to buy shoes with Velcro.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 09, 2025 02:59 PM (i79Sq)

143 I discovered that if I put the safety bolt thru the catch on on my trailer hitch with the nut on the left side, the nut will vibrate off in no time. If I put the nut on the right side, the vibrations will tend to make the nut tighter. Maybe something like that is going on with your feet.

Posted by: fd at March 09, 2025 02:59 PM (vFG9F)

144 You're welcome fd

It just instantly popped to mind.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 09, 2025 02:59 PM (i79Sq)

145 https://youtu.be/mgtbXBAb-Hw

Another Trump assassination attempt (sorry again; no more interruptions from me).

Posted by: You Really Don't Want to Know at March 09, 2025 03:00 PM (jcQqy)

146 There was once a British pig who could tie ropes into various types of knots.

Nottingham.

Posted by: Get out! at March 09, 2025 03:00 PM (dg+HA)

147 Found one! It's only 14 inches but he can fierce it up with spikes. Nobody wants to ask grandma to make a Cerberus on short notice.

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 03:00 PM (2NXcZ)

148 Moron #1: Do your shoelaces come unraveled?

Moron #2: I'm a frayed knot.

Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:01 PM (/iMjX)

149 137 129 Maybe it's when you start the knot. Do you go 'right over left' or 'left over right'. Try doing one shoe one way and the other shoe the opposite.
Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 02:54 PM (/iMjX)
Muldown brings the facts.
Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 02:57 PM (LHPAg
And no bridges! There are no bridges in the Navy until the Seabees build them. By the way, last Wednesday was the 83rd Seabee birthday.

Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 03:01 PM (LHPAg)

150 You people will talk about anything.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:01 PM (LkLld)

151 I read an analysis, sorry, don't remember where, that said Syria under Assad was barely functional, but now that all the "good" parts have been grabbed by outsiders, failure is certain.

Slaughter of one minority is just the first step. Expect famine in the center of the country soon.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at March 09, 2025 03:02 PM (Uh8P4)

152 I think it's caused by a habit of one foot unconsciously scraped against the laces on the other foot. I found it happens a lot less often when I tie my left shoe so that the bow is off-center away from the other foot.

Posted by: Toad-0 at March 09, 2025 03:02 PM (cct0t)

153 My 1st world problem is that one of my socks gets twisted around so that the no-slip part is on top of my foot, instead of against the floor. Always the left, never the right.
Posted by: JQ

Elmers.
Posted by: Biden's Dog

Using the wrong tool for the job just invites more first-world problems. If you're gluing socks, use socks glue. The stuff that lets Japanese schoolgirls wear their socks like this:

https://tinyurl.com/3e4r5nsc+

Posted by: mikeski at March 09, 2025 03:02 PM (DgGvY)

154 If your shoelaces are beyond their useful lifespan you need to dispose of them properly.

Take them to Knots Bury Farm

Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:03 PM (/iMjX)

155 Oh no, not knot jokes.

Posted by: fd at March 09, 2025 03:03 PM (vFG9F)

156 Laces? Huh. Velcro is where it's at, man.

Posted by: President Potatohead at March 09, 2025 03:04 PM (hyRup)

157 If your shoelaces are beyond their useful lifespan you need to dispose of them properly.

Take them to Knots Bury Farm
Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:03 PM (/iMjX)

Send them to Pelosi's vineyard. They can use the old and worn out - just like the owners.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 03:04 PM (VNX3d)

158 Using the wrong tool for the job just invites more first-world problems. If you're gluing socks, use socks glue. The stuff that lets Japanese schoolgirls wear their socks like this:

https://tinyurl.com/3e4r5nsc+
Posted by: mikeski

Super Model Breast Tape (tm) may work too.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 09, 2025 03:04 PM (/lPRQ)

159 You can use pasta noodles instead of laces f you wear Penne loafers.

Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:04 PM (/iMjX)

160 130 Aglets dangling agley?

hmmm. aglette would be a good name for a world of warcraft character.

Posted by: anachronda at March 09, 2025 03:05 PM (edU/H)

161 Okay, I read a long time ago that most people tie two knots in their laces: one single overhand, followed by a doubled-over overhand. This allows you to unravel the knot by pulling the single ends apart.

Thing is, most people have a preferential way to tie an overhand knot, so they do the first that way, and then the double that same way. But that gives you what is known as a "Granny" knot. What you want is a "Square" knot, AKA a "Reef" knot because it is used to tie the reefing lines on a reefed sail, and it doesn't slip!

So this article says to tie the first single knot as usual, but then tie the double knot "backwards" to get a square knot!

Great... but tying the doubled-over knot backwards is hard! It's much easier to tie the first single knot backwards, and then the double knot forwards! You still get a good square knot!

The way to learn is by using the ties on a favorite bathrobe, or put piece of rope around your waist. Practice doing the first knot "backwards" - the way that doesn't feel right at first! Then do the second "forwards". Most times when I do up my bathrobe, I use two single overhand knots, but you can do the second knot double, just like your shoes.

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at March 09, 2025 03:05 PM (WAmgf)

162 125 comments and no mentions of aglets. You people are slacking.
Posted by: fd

"130 Aglets dangling agley?
Posted by: Anna Puma"
Heh. Thank you Anna.
Posted by: fd

There was a misspelled one back at 101. Diogenes has egg prices on the brain.

Posted by: mikeski at March 09, 2025 03:06 PM (DgGvY)

163 CBD I notice some spots and scuffs on the toe of that shoe. Shameful. Get out your shoe polish.

Posted by: Tuna at March 09, 2025 03:06 PM (lJ0H4)

164 So when the rabbit comes out of the hole, who says he always has to go around the tree and back down the hole? I mean, its a friggin' rabbit. It is gonna go where ever it wants.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 03:07 PM (W/lyH)

165 You people will talk about anything.
Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:01 PM (LkLld)

Well, we talk to you, Jack.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:08 PM (/x6eu)

166 Ps. As I use my bathrobe over the years, the damn waistband ties keep gradually shorter and shorter!!

Is there an explanation for this?

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at March 09, 2025 03:09 PM (WAmgf)

167 163 CBD I notice some spots and scuffs on the toe of that shoe. Shameful. Get out your shoe polish.
Posted by: Tuna at March 09, 2025 03:06 PM (lJ0H4)

----------

*ahem*

Approved HQ usage is, "get your f*cking shine box."

Carry on.

Posted by: The AoSHQ Comment Propriety Review Referee at March 09, 2025 03:09 PM (dDmld)

168 Here is a first world problem brought to Britain by the third world . The British PM has inexplicably blocked a bill that bans First cousin marriage. I wonder who that ban was directed at.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth

Inexplicably?

If you're being colonized, why would you pass a bill that gives the next generation of colonizers +15 to their IQ?

Posted by: mikeski at March 09, 2025 03:09 PM (DgGvY)

169 The EU is blaming Assad (obvious bullshit).

Since the EU legitimized the new Syrian government, the government-sponsored massacres are a bit embarrassing for them.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 02:54 PM (xTIDn)

Tulsi saw it coming from miles away. Also The EU of course offered up an alternative to Trump's plan to rebuild Gaza into the same sewer it was before. We better not give one cent to that effort.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 03:10 PM (VofaG)

170 CBD I notice some spots and scuffs on the toe of that shoe. Shameful. Get out your shoe polish.
Posted by: Tuna at March 09, 2025 03:06 PM (lJ0H4)

I think he's got bigger problems. Looks like he took that picture with the shoe on the bedspread. Mrs CBD is going to be pissed, and not in the British way.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 03:11 PM (W/lyH)

171 I notice some spots and scuffs on the toe of that shoe. Shameful. Get out your shoe polish.
Posted by: Tuna

*********

If you can't see two fingers held waist high reflected in the toe of the shoe you aren't doing it right.

Yes, I did go to West Point. Why do you ask?

Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:11 PM (/iMjX)

172 You can use pasta noodles instead of laces f you wear Penne loafers.
Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:04 PM (/iMjX)

Hah. Or you can just rigatoni right onto the knot.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 03:13 PM (VofaG)

173 They won't be better than Assad- in fact probably worse.

They seem to love ever Muslim uprising- except the uigyirs, of course.

I wonder why that specific group is no Bueno, but every other one in the world is great?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:13 PM (/x6eu)

174 Down here, you just buy a new set of boot strings. And keep on working. Its not a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

Kinda' like my man Kipling wrote about.

Posted by: Blah at March 09, 2025 03:13 PM (UPol8)

175 Oh no, not knot jokes.
Posted by: fd at March 09, 2025 03:03 PM (vFG9F)

Who's there?

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at March 09, 2025 03:14 PM (Uh8P4)

176 172 You can use pasta noodles instead of laces f you wear Penne loafers.
Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:04 PM (/iMjX)

Hah. Or you can just rigatoni right onto the knot.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 03:13 PM (VofaG)

Ima workin' on this Fiat, whata you want?

Posted by: Tony at March 09, 2025 03:14 PM (PiwSw)

177 For anyone interested, Monty Python Holy Grail is free on Prime this month.

Posted by: Gary R at March 09, 2025 03:16 PM (36OLy)

178 If you're willing to spend the money, there's a brand of shoe laces that will actually tie itself and remain tight.

Yeah I guess you could say they're self taut.

Posted by: Stop it! at March 09, 2025 03:17 PM (dg+HA)

179 Laces? Huh. Velcro is where it's at, man.

When did we stop using Duct Tape?

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at March 09, 2025 03:17 PM (a4flb)

180 If you're willing to spend the money, there's a brand of shoe laces that will actually tie itself and remain tight.

Yeah I guess you could say they're self taut.
Posted by: Stop it! at March 09, 2025 03:17 PM (dg+HA)

We should have had those already, according to the Back to the Future series.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 03:18 PM (VNX3d)

181 You can use pasta noodles instead of laces f you wear Penne loafers.
Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:04 PM (/iMjX)

Hah. Or you can just rigatoni right onto the knot.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 03:13 PM (VofaG)

Something...something...
Knotcho Grande.

I got nuthin'

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 03:18 PM (W/lyH)

182 Laces? Huh. Velcro is where it's at, man.

When did we stop using Duct Tape?
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at March 09, 2025 03:17 PM (a4flb)

When the ducks got tired of being goosed by the ganders.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 09, 2025 03:19 PM (VNX3d)

183 I read an analysis, sorry, don't remember where, that said Syria under Assad was barely functional, but now that all the "good" parts have been grabbed by outsiders, failure is certain.

-
Failure is certain? Well, they got that part right.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at March 09, 2025 03:19 PM (L/fGl)

184
Treat yourself to Velcro.

Why knot?

Posted by: Welcome to The Villages at March 09, 2025 03:19 PM (dg+HA)

185 Are you right-handed or left-handed? I don't know if it makes a difference in tying shoelaces on each foot. Maybe.

Also, round laces are easier to work themselves loose than flat laces. YMMV

Posted by: Gref at March 09, 2025 03:21 PM (aBgBM)

186 crocs will solve your problem cbd...just ask garret

Posted by: DanMan at March 09, 2025 03:21 PM (8uzBS)

187 Something...something...
Knotcho Grande.

I got nuthin'
Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 03:18 PM (W/lyH)

I don't think I'll ever get over knotcho grande.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:21 PM (/x6eu)

188 I've noticed this before and have always tried to avoid shoes that use them if possible.

The round, waxed laces suck. I always replace them with the flat type that stay tied and always, always use double knots. I confess though, the flat laces don't look quite as sharp.

Always relegated this to one of the small, irritating issues of life that get wormed into day to day existence and probably will always be with us such as: the addition of mayonnaise into every Caesar salad dressing, hoses that kink constantly, thick buttons on shirts that are difficult to use after cleaning, zip bags that don't function easily, tiny spare tires, the general uselessness of warranties that cover everything except the problems that occur, difficult computer navigation protocols, phone trees for everything and incomprehensible people who can't help you when you reach someone...

I could go on.

Posted by: RM at March 09, 2025 03:22 PM (n/1Oj)

189 Shoe lace keepers (toggles) for babies, toddlers and adults or "magic laces."

Fashion colors available!

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 09, 2025 03:22 PM (NFX2v)

190 Romania appears to be on the verge of a civil war. Europe is a basket case.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:23 PM (LkLld)

191 181 You can use pasta noodles instead of laces f you wear Penne loafers.
Posted by: muldoon at March 09, 2025 03:04 PM (/iMjX)

Hah. Or you can just rigatoni right onto the knot.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 09, 2025 03:13 PM (VofaG)

Somewhere a farfalle joke is waiting.

Posted by: Piper at March 09, 2025 03:23 PM (pZEOD)

192 I had some square leather laces once. They seemed to work fairly well.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:25 PM (/x6eu)

193 Here's the problem with shoe laces. Just when you need them most, they will fail you.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 03:25 PM (W/lyH)

194 Romania appears to be on the verge of a civil war. Europe is a basket case.
Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:23 PM (LkLld)

What, did they throw out the results of an election again?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:25 PM (/x6eu)

195 Many years ago, I was driving and got hit head on by a car driven by a drunk and stoned Mexican. He had two friends in the car. One dead at the scene, one airlifted from the highway, (close enough to a military base to be difficult). That guy lost his leg and ran off back to Mexico. Driver had a broken femur and bot much insurance. My car was totalled and if anyone had been in the front passenger seat they would have died. The only reason my car didn't roll over was because the front bumper caught on the pavement and stopped the momentum.
I had a crushed heel bone. Couldn't walk for months after the surgery put humpty dumpty back together with plated and screws. A year later the screws were working out and I had another surgery to remove all the hardware. My Achilles tendon in that foot is still tight. But at least it doesn't hurt. But now..
My right foot is a full shoe size bigger than my left. I have to wear one shoe that fits and one that is too big. The one that's too big is the one that un-ties itself. Double knot.

Posted by: Madame Mayhem (uppity wench) at March 09, 2025 03:26 PM (4XwPj)

196 Another use on Tensor, for the Horde's perusal

https://tensor.art/u/604874439166839604

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 09, 2025 03:26 PM (i79Sq)

197 192 I had some square leather laces once. They seemed to work fairly well.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:25 PM (/x6eu
Like to see the cow they came off.

Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 03:26 PM (LHPAg)

198 There was a corner downtown variety store in Erie,PA. All kinds of odds and ends and even had a selection of fresh produce crammed into a tiny store. I was waiting in line to get a lottery ticket, and on a shelf they had shoelace tips for sale. Mentioned it to the owner, and he said they had bunches of them. Things were tough during the depression and his dad stocked up.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at March 09, 2025 03:26 PM (gm9Sb)

199 So Romania is going to put another bunch of politicians against the wall and shoot them?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 09, 2025 03:27 PM (i79Sq)

200 Ive been known to replace shoe laces with pretty ribbons in my skate shoes.

Lavender skate shoes with pink ribbons is my favorite.

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 09, 2025 03:28 PM (29CZs)

201 Romania appears to be on the verge of a civil war. Europe is a basket case.

Nutty thought - what if we just stay out of it ?

Posted by: Stupid Idea at March 09, 2025 03:28 PM (DVCQ5)

202 All is proceeding as we have foreseen.

Posted by: Big Penguin at March 09, 2025 03:28 PM (a3Q+t)

203 >>What, did they throw out the results of an election again?

This time they threw out the entire candidate. He's been banned from the election.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:28 PM (LkLld)

204 Posted by: Anna Puma at March 09, 2025 03:26 PM (i79Sq)

Not horrible. Like the scenery better than the women. Waits with gigantic eyes. Also, whatever that mouse critter is.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:29 PM (/x6eu)

205 Like to see the cow they came off.
Posted by: Eromero at March 09, 2025 03:26 PM

Hello! We're right here, you know.

Posted by: Cows who identify as Bulls at March 09, 2025 03:29 PM (a3Q+t)

206 In boot camp they were showing us how to put together a field marching pack and contents. Drill Instructor stressed the importance of the extra bootlaces.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at March 09, 2025 03:30 PM (gm9Sb)

207 Now imagine, instead of Mexicans or whatever with all those surgeries ? Yankees. Because that's how they think. They love them some Kennedy.

Posted by: Stupid Idea at March 09, 2025 03:30 PM (DVCQ5)

208 This time they threw out the entire candidate. He's been banned from the election.
Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:28 PM (LkLld)

That'll work. No problem.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:30 PM (/x6eu)

209 This time they threw out the entire candidate. He's been banned from the election.
Posted by: JackStraw

I’ve never seen anything like it!

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 09, 2025 03:31 PM (29CZs)

210 replacing my shoelaces with paracord has been a game changer.

Maybe not the choice for dress shoes but for boots or sneakers, they're the bomb.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at March 09, 2025 03:32 PM (xcxpd)

211 This time they threw out the entire candidate. He's been banned from the election.

The Iranian/Russian approach - only Approved Candidates are allowed to run for President.

That's the system they want to introduce here, of course.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 03:32 PM (xTIDn)

212 This time they threw out the entire candidate. He's been banned from the election.
Posted by: JackStraw

=====

I’ve never seen anything like it!
Posted by: nurse ratched at March 09, 2025 03:31 PM

Tell me about it.

Posted by: Comrade Sanders at March 09, 2025 03:33 PM (a3Q+t)

213 210 550 cord, WD40, and a roll of duct tape. Ready to go.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at March 09, 2025 03:33 PM (gm9Sb)

214 The Iranian/Russian approach - only Approved Candidates are allowed to run for President. That's the system they want to introduce here, of course.

The Two Party approach. Anybody else ever read about the great of the "Two Party" system in school ?

I did.

Posted by: Stupid Idea at March 09, 2025 03:33 PM (DVCQ5)

215 replacing my shoelaces with paracord has been a game changer.

Maybe not the choice for dress shoes but for boots or sneakers, they're the bomb.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

Paracord? If you used detcord, they'd really be the bomb.

Posted by: mikeski at March 09, 2025 03:34 PM (DgGvY)

216 215 replacing my shoelaces with paracord has been a game changer.

Maybe not the choice for dress shoes but for boots or sneakers, they're the bomb.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

Paracord? If you used detcord, they'd really be the bomb.
Posted by: mikeski at March 09, 2025 03:34 PM (DgGvY)

ISWYDT

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at March 09, 2025 03:35 PM (xcxpd)

217 Is lace wigs a subsidiary of Big Lace?

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at March 09, 2025 03:35 PM (Vqx30)

218 That's the system they want to introduce here, of course.

I'll also note that in free, democratic Britain, Tommy Robinson is being held in solitary confinement on a civil charge, under conditions arguably worse than the ones Andrei Navalny was kept in in Russia.

Keir's only regret is that Britain doesn't have an Arctic prison camp to send Robinson, unlike Russia.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 03:36 PM (xTIDn)

219 203 >>What, did they throw out the results of an election again?

This time they threw out the entire candidate. He's been banned from the election.
Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:28 PM (LkLld)

Who is 'they' and are they bulletproof?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at March 09, 2025 03:36 PM (xcxpd)

220 Double-knotting your jump boots is a splendid idea.

Yes, you have to cut the laces before taking them off, but it beats losing one or both shortly after egressing the airframe.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 09, 2025 03:36 PM (a3Q+t)

221 Paracord? If you used detcord, they'd really be the bomb.
Posted by: mikeski at March 09, 2025 03:34 PM

* scribbles notes *

Posted by: Abdully McAbdulface at March 09, 2025 03:38 PM (a3Q+t)

222 Who is 'they' and are they bulletproof?

The Romanian Electoral Commission, previewing the future of "democratic" elections throughout the EU.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 03:38 PM (xTIDn)

223 193 Here's the problem with shoe laces. Just when you need them most, they will fail you.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 09, 2025 03:25 PM (W/lyH)

I have never thought of carrying spare shoe laces with me. Anywhere or at anytime. Now I'll keep thinking about buying several long pairs in useful colors then stashing some in my sock drawer and glove compartment. I've gone 29 years now without spare shoelaces. Am I beating the odds?

Posted by: Gref at March 09, 2025 03:39 PM (aBgBM)

224 Tie a double knot.
Posted by: Ben Had at March 09, 2025 02:04 PM

I do that, like I was a toddler.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 03:39 PM (jc0TO)

225 Shoelaces = impromptu garrot ??

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 09, 2025 03:40 PM (i79Sq)

226 You know one thing I never worry about?

Shoe laces.

Posted by: Crocs wearer at March 09, 2025 03:40 PM (a3Q+t)

227 >>Who is 'they' and are they bulletproof?

Not sure how their process works but supposedly some group of judges has banned him despite the fact that he had submitted all of the proper documents, gained the required number of signatures and was apparently leading the race.

A report I saw said a Soros founded NGO has been leading the push to have him banned which I find completely believable.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:40 PM (LkLld)

228 Who is 'they' and are they bulletproof?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at March 09, 2025 03:36 PM (xcxpd)

Only if they are CIA approved. Dems got rid of Bobby, couldn't run as a dem, tried to kill him at a garden party.

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 03:41 PM (2NXcZ)

229 Paracord? If you used detcord, they'd really be the bomb.
Posted by: mikeski at March 09, 2025 03:34 PM

* scribbles notes *
Posted by: Abdully McAbdulface at March 09, 2025 03:38 PM

What ever happened to the shoe bomber?

I guess I could google.

"Richard Reid is currently incarcerated at ADX Florence, a supermax federal prison in Colorado, United States."

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 03:41 PM (jc0TO)

230
A report I saw said a Soros founded NGO has been leading the push to have him banned which I find completely believable.
Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:40 PM (LkLld)

So CIA.

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 03:41 PM (2NXcZ)

231 Don't know why one shoelace works but not the other. So many shoelaces today are made from synthetic fibers, which have less friction than natural fibers. IOW they're more slippery.
It's been reported elsewhere, this causes the shoelaces to become untied more easily.
If you find can shoelaces made of cotton instead of nylon, polypropylene, or other syn fibers, use those.

Posted by: Evil Incarnate at March 09, 2025 03:42 PM (YrqgQ)

232 A report I saw said a Soros founded NGO has been leading the push to have him banned which I find completely believable.

Don't worry, the European Council of Ministers will quickly put sanctions on Romania for being undemocratic, just like they did on Hungary.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 03:42 PM (xTIDn)

233 I'm burning out a stump today. I have a tremendous amount of windfalls and yard debris so I guess I am killing two birds with one stone.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 03:43 PM (jc0TO)

234 So CIA.

Color revolutions are easier when you don't let the most popular candidate get elected in the first place.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 03:43 PM (xTIDn)

235 You tie them right when making the knot a square knot. I'd done it wrong my whole life until I watched a Ted Talk session and have done it right ever since.

Tied right, the loops and ends stick out perpendicular to the shoe. Tied wrong, they are up-down or skewed.

You want laces long enough so you can double-knot, and this knot is tied square also.

Posted by: Mr Gaga at March 09, 2025 03:44 PM (KiBMU)

236 I'll also note that in free, democratic Britain, Tommy Robinson is being held in solitary confinement on a civil charge, under conditions arguably worse than the ones Andrei Navalny was kept in in Russia.

As my father, of a certain age and generation always reminds me, the Soviets will march right across Europe first chance they get.

Posted by: Stupid Idea at March 09, 2025 03:45 PM (DVCQ5)

237 So now is the ideal time to smuggle the Tate brothers back in.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 09, 2025 03:45 PM (NFX2v)

238 I dug around the stump to about 18" deep. Hopefully it will at least burn down that much. Even better if it goes all Centralia and keeps smoldering down. I had a pine stump do that. It left an impressive hole.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 03:45 PM (jc0TO)

239 I got one heck of a FWP this week! A first-world tree fell on the first-world power line that goes to my first-world house and it bent the first-world mast that the power line connects to.

I had a plan: replace the mast! I put up my first-world ladder, and I was striding purposefully across my first-world lawn in my first-world shoes, the kind that have hooks you wind the laces around.

Well, my first-world shoelace caught on one of the first-world hooks on the other shoe, and I went sprawling. I hit my face on the bottom rung of the ladder and broke my frickin' nose!

There was a small deformity visible in my first-world mirror; I pressed on it and it clicked back into place. It seems stable and my nose-holes are working fine. But I was reminded of what Mike Tyson said: everybody has a plan until he gets punched in the face.

Posted by: Bombadil at March 09, 2025 03:46 PM (MX0bI)

240 My right foot is a full shoe size bigger than my left. I have to wear one shoe that fits and one that is too big. The one that's too big is the one that un-ties itself. Double knot.
Posted by: Madame Mayhem (uppity wench) at March 09, 2025 03:26 PM (4XwPj)

I liked buying 2 pair, on in a D width, one in an E. Now there is less selection and it's harder to do. I found a shoe guy in Philly that does alterations.

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 03:46 PM (2NXcZ)

241 It seems stable and my nose-holes are working fine. But I was reminded of what Mike Tyson said: everybody has a plan until he gets punched in the face.
Posted by: Bombadil at March 09, 2025 03:46 PM

But did you get the decision over the tree?

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 03:47 PM (jc0TO)

242 >>> 199 So Romania is going to put another bunch of politicians against the wall and shoot them?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 09, 2025 03:27 PM (i79Sq)

If they go that far, I hope they include some of the politicians in Brussels.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at March 09, 2025 03:47 PM (Vqx30)

243 But did you get the decision over the tree?

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic

Oh yeah, you should see the other guy. A chainsaw was involved.

Posted by: Bombadil at March 09, 2025 03:50 PM (MX0bI)

244 I bet you have two black eyes.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 03:51 PM (jc0TO)

245 Just one drop of crazy glue on the knot will prevent it from coming unraveled.

You're welcome.

Posted by: tankdemon at March 09, 2025 03:51 PM (ToXOU)

246 If they go that far, I hope they include some of the politicians in Brussels.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at March 09, 2025 03:47 PM (Vqx30)

Who was the scrunt in Europe who, when extorting sending troops to fight in Ukraine was asked if her own son would and laughed dismissively?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:51 PM (/x6eu)

247
As my father, of a certain age and generation always reminds me, the Soviets will march right across Europe first chance they get.
Posted by: Stupid Idea at March 09, 2025 03:45 PM (DVCQ5)

But now the UK and WEF are the Godless communists. My father never would have believed it.

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 03:52 PM (2NXcZ)

248 Who was the scrunt in Europe who, when extorting sending troops to fight in Ukraine was asked if her own son would and laughed dismissively?
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:51 PM (/x6eu)

Ursula Von der Leyen

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 03:52 PM (2NXcZ)

249 Ursula Von der Leyen
Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 03:52 PM

She was great in that Bond flick.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 03:53 PM (jc0TO)

250 Get a quick-lace adapter

Posted by: Sua Sponte at March 09, 2025 03:53 PM (ppKip)

251 Burn down the lace factory and nuke it from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

Posted by: the guy who always says it's the only way to be sure at March 09, 2025 03:53 PM (tT6L1)

252 >>> 246
==
Who was the scrunt in Europe who, when extorting sending troops to fight in Ukraine was asked if her own son would and laughed dismissively?
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 09, 2025 03:51 PM (/x6eu)

I don't remember that specific incident but I'll guess it was the German bint who said they would support KEEEV whether or not the proles approved.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at March 09, 2025 03:53 PM (Vqx30)

253 @245 Kind of like using roof tacks to secure shoes to your feet.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 09, 2025 03:53 PM (LPS7w)

254 244 I bet you have two black eyes.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic

More like one-and-a-half, but yeah. You must have been there, done that.

Posted by: Bombadil at March 09, 2025 03:54 PM (MX0bI)

255 Definitely time to get out of NATO. Why would we spend a nickel or a drop of blood defending Europe? They no longer support our values.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:55 PM (LkLld)

256 Who was the scrunt in Europe who, when extorting sending troops to fight in Ukraine was asked if her own son would and laughed dismissively?

Ursula von der Leyen, I think.

That was unusual - Mark Steyn noted a while ago that a striking number of senior European political leaders are childless.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 03:55 PM (xTIDn)

257 Hey CBD, Fold a small piece of sandpaper around the length of lace where the knot is formed a give it a couple of tugs. Roughing up the surface to break some slickness might just do the trick.
MinF

Posted by: MikeInFairfax at March 09, 2025 03:56 PM (zxQKb)

258 One word: velcro.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 03:56 PM (jc0TO)

259 Definitely time to get out of NATO. Why would we spend a nickel or a drop of blood defending Europe? They no longer support our values.
Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:55 PM (LkLld)
------------------

I think we need to hit the EU up for reparations. Bastards never paid us back for the Marshall Plan. Heck, with the tariff situation, they've been soaking us ever since.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (tT6L1) at March 09, 2025 03:57 PM (tT6L1)

260 I've now deployed my own local AI bot using Ollama, Docker and Open-WebUI.

It's pretty damn awesome but slow, I'm going to have build a serious rig to get the full benefit, also I've integrated it into Obsidian, so pretty much have a replacement for OneNote and CoPilot.

Another thing I discovered is that you can load multiple AI bots and pit them against each other in a sort of Thunder Dome of getting the answers you seek.

This stuff is getting close to approximating magic.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at March 09, 2025 03:57 PM (XV/Pl)

261 Could also try the lace/cord locks. Been using them in the military for years.

Posted by: Sua Sponte at March 09, 2025 03:58 PM (ppKip)

262 240 My right foot is a full shoe size bigger than my left. I have to wear one shoe that fits and one that is too big. The one that's too big is the one that un-ties itself. Double knot.
Posted by: Madame Mayhem (uppity wench)

On his way to Stockholm for the 1912 Olympics, Jim Thorpe lost his shoes. He ended up going dumpster diving, and couldn't find a matched pair. He found one that fit, and one that was a half size too big. He wore an extra sock on the foot with the oversize shoe, and won Gold Medals in both the decathlon and the Pentathalon.

Posted by: tankdemon at March 09, 2025 03:58 PM (ToXOU)

263 That was unusual - Mark Steyn noted a while ago that a striking number of senior European political leaders are childless.

Kinda a metaphor for Europe generally.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at March 09, 2025 03:58 PM (xTIDn)

264 122 https://youtu.be/zA6CLPQ47PA

I apologize for interrupting this thread.

4000 Dead in Syria.

The EU is blaming Assad (obvious bullshit). Video title says Trump has made a strong statement ... but I haven't got to that part of the video yet.

Posted by: You Really Don't Want to Know at March 09, 2025 02:51 PM (jcQqy)

Makes one ashamed to be a human.

Posted by: javems at March 09, 2025 03:59 PM (dia54)

265 255 Definitely time to get out of NATO. Why would we spend a nickel or a drop of blood defending Europe? They no longer support our values.
Posted by: JackStraw at March 09, 2025 03:55 PM (LkLld)

Yes. Even the Vatican is praising Ramadan. Do they praise the Siege of Constantinople, too?

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 04:01 PM (2NXcZ)

266 As of 2025, the population of Syria is estimated to be 25,620,427. The yearly change in population is 947,667, with a yearly percentage change of 3.84%. The fertility rate is 2.66, and the median age is 23.3. Syria's urban population constitutes 53.6% of the total population, with 13,735,765 people living in urban areas. You may now continue.

Posted by: @SOEarpiece at March 09, 2025 04:01 PM (jc0TO)

267 FOOD/ TRAVEL LOG THREAD NOOD

Posted by: Skip i at March 09, 2025 04:02 PM (fwDg9)

268 Makes one ashamed to be a human.
Posted by: javems at March 09, 2025 03:59 PM (dia54)

Wasn't Biden's adviser Sullivan, all excited that Al Qaeda was on our side in Syria?

Posted by: long night...lifted at March 09, 2025 04:02 PM (2NXcZ)

269 Will the last Christian fleeing Syria please turn out the light.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Happy birthday vic at March 09, 2025 04:03 PM (jc0TO)

270 Could it be a defective aglet?

Posted by: tankdemon at March 09, 2025 04:03 PM (ToXOU)

271 The story said it was jhihadi's, why should an American care what horrors muslims inflict on fellow muslims?

Especially in a countries who's GDP doesn't even register as a rounding error, and who has no exploitable natural resources.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at March 09, 2025 04:05 PM (XV/Pl)

272 Cowboy Boots

Posted by: epador at March 09, 2025 04:14 PM (nbrPU)

273 Mnemonic: "Leftover."

Tie the first granny knot left over right.

I'm embarrassed to admit how long it took me to learn this.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at March 09, 2025 04:47 PM (paSBy)

274 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zilu4aYXpUw

Posted by: Marooned at March 09, 2025 04:51 PM (kt8QE)

275 You are doing it wrong. See the Ted talk. Strong side knots. https://youtu.be/zAFcV7zuUDA?si=5zWesnUvrhHZXT9E

Posted by: Smileygg at March 09, 2025 05:50 PM (UsQiC)

276 Go around twice after you make the first loop. Holds like a double knot but much easier to untie (just pull the string like usual, but be sure it’s not inside a loop first).

Posted by: Ruprik at March 09, 2025 05:56 PM (KPlFX)

277 Double the first part. That’s what surgeons do when tying sutures, before a stack of square knots. It really helps with crappie laces.

Posted by: William A Jackson M.D. at March 09, 2025 07:45 PM (8M5Vj)

278 Round laces are crap.

Posted by: leber at March 09, 2025 08:29 PM (rovGg)

279 Learn to tie a locking bow knot.
First, tie the first knot - left over right, tuck it under, pull snug.
What? You tied right over left? Ok, reverse the hands on the next part, or go back and tie the first knot as described. Otherwise, you have a granny bow, not a square bow and the bow lines up front to back and not across the.laces. How gauche.
Now, form the loop on the right lace, wrap the left lace around the right loop and pull it partially through.
Sounds like a standard bow knot, doesn't it? But, here's the trick:
Take the loop on the right, that you just created, and wrap it around again through the open hole between the top and bottom knot, then snug it up, just like a regular bow knot.
Disadvantage- the right loop is fixed as tied. You can shorten or lengthen the left loop, the same as aa regular bow, but the right loop is locked, which locks the whole knot. You unlace by pulling the left loop out.
Thing it is just like learning to tie bow when you're a kid, it takes a little thought while you're doing it, but it doesn't take too long before it's just muscle memory. Untieing it becomes automatic, too. Pull on a lace end. If it doesn't start sliding, grab the other end.

Posted by: buddhaha at March 09, 2025 10:01 PM (hiQM1)

280 Wash your feet Al Bundy and maybe your shoe will not try to escape :-)

Posted by: D Law at March 10, 2025 01:50 AM (niQtX)

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