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King to Butt Four: Investigation Concludes That Chess Champion Really Took a Crap On the Game. Cheating More Than 100 Times

A very smelly finding.


When world chess champion Magnus Carlsen last month suggested that American grandmaster Hans Moke Niemann was a cheater, the 19-year-old Niemann launched an impassioned defense. Niemann said he had cheated, but only at two points in his life, describing them as youthful indiscretions committed when he was 12 and 16 years old.

Now, however, an investigation into Niemann's play--conducted by Chess.com, an online platform where many top players compete--has found the scope of his cheating to be far wider and longer-lasting than he publicly admitted.

The report, reviewed by The Wall Street Journal, alleges that Niemann likely received illegal assistance in more than 100 online games, as recently as 2020. Those matches included contests in which prize money was on the line. The site uses a variety of cheating-detection tools, including analytics that compare moves to those recommended by chess engines, which are capable of beating even the greatest human players every time.

The report states that Niemann privately confessed to the allegations, and that he was subsequently banned from the site for a period of time.

The 72-page report also flagged what it described as irregularities in Niemann's rise through the elite ranks of competitive, in-person chess. It highlights "many remarkable signals and unusual patterns in Hans' path as a player."

While it says Niemann's improvement has been "statistically extraordinary," Chess.com noted that it hasn't historically been involved with cheat detection for classical over-the-board chess, and it stopped short of any conclusive statements about whether he has cheated in person. Still, it pointed to several of Niemann's strongest events, which it believes "merit further investigation based on the data."

Well if he's receiving "outside assistance" in online play -- obviously, using a chess computer to tell him what move to make next -- then he's also doing so in live person-to-person play.

And you know how he's suspected of doing that, right?

The suspicion is that he's being signaled by a device he wears on the body, or rather... in the body, which pulses in a certain way to signal to him "e5" or "b7" or whatever.

That device? Some kind of, erm, remote-controlled anal stimulator which has been modified to issue precise pulses. He would have a confederate monitoring the game, feeding the current position into the chess computer, and then using his remote control to tell Niemann "g5." (Usually chess notation is just done by two characters, which tell you what destination your piece is heading to; only if multiple pieces can get to that square do you have to specify the square the piece is leaving from, i.e., "g4-g5.")

They also suspect that some female champions are doing this, albeit, employing a less gross and less emasculating method of smuggling the signaling device into the match.



Computers have "nearly infallible tactical calculation," the report says, and are capable of beating even the best human every single time. The report says dozens of grandmasters have been caught cheating on the website, including four of the top-100 players in the world who confessed.

Note that they have only claimed to have established he cheats in online play. No one's yet suggesting he's got an Anal Buddy signaling him during games.

When this first broke, people wondered if it meant that competitors would have to undergo the indignity of a prison body cavity search before play.

I guess, maybe. Or, they can just be seated inside a faraday cage, which should prevent all signals from going in or out. I don't know if that will permit camera signals in or out-- if they picture is conveyed first by a telescope-like tube carries the image out of the faraday cage and then, only once outside of the faraday cage, is then converted into an electronic signal, could that work?

(Same for sound -- an audio pipe carries sound out of the cage.)

I guess the holes for those tubes would defeat the faraday cage, though.

Eh.

Body cavity search it is.

BTW, a couple of months ago I watched a documentary about the cheating scandal in the competitive Bridge world, called Dirty Tricks. A good amount of money at play, there, too. Turns out, a fair number of champions were also cheating when it all shook out.

Worth the watch. You don't need to be familiar with bridge because they keep it pretty superficial and just tell you what you need to know, which is that you're not allowed to communicate with your partner except for the permitted bid cues (one heart, three diamonds, etc.), but that people do find ways to secretly signal their partners, and this is cheating.

I'd say, though, that knowledge of bridge increases enjoyment of it.

PS, if you watch carefully, you can spot the method of cheating. It's in plain sight. Though it's very subtle. (I didn't catch it.)

Posted by: Ace at 05:00 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 The guy clearly was an ass.

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:00 PM (LsEU/)

2 So, serial cheater. Must be a democrat.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at October 05, 2022 05:01 PM (7bRMQ)

3 first.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:01 PM (bVYXr)

4 cheating at chess.....I mean how much money is there in professional chess? Am I missing something?

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:01 PM (bVYXr)

5 >>>.I mean how much money is there in professional chess?

a fair amount. plus, all of the pussy.

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:02 PM (C1Zwz)

6 Are we going to be subjected to a constant pulse of revelations?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at October 05, 2022 05:02 PM (7bRMQ)

7 This was actually a Mission Impossible episode.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at October 05, 2022 05:02 PM (lf83v)

8 Scott Adams pointed out major cheating scandals in chess, fishing, and poker recently revealed.

Posted by: blaster at October 05, 2022 05:02 PM (pwExq)

9 Shot:
On Tuesday, the New York Times framed a story circulating on the right over a software company's connection with the Chinese Communist Party as a "right-wing conspiracy theory."
"At an invitation-only conference in August at a secret location southeast of Phoenix, a group of election deniers unspooled a new conspiracy theory about the 2020 presidential outcome," was the Times' original lede (via the Daily Caller).
In it, the Times wrote that "right-wing" election deniers in Arizona had fabricated a conspiracy theory that election software company Konnech had secret ties to the CCP, and was passing them information on around two million US poll workers.

Chaser: The next morning, Konnech executive Eugene Yu was arrested for the alleged theft of poll workers' personal information.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Christian Nationalist, Defiant! at October 05, 2022 05:02 PM (VtqbX)

10 What's a butt four?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur, Buffer at October 05, 2022 05:03 PM (yHsuS)

11 I'm so old when cheating at chess was frowned upon. I wish someone would have let him know that it was wrong.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at October 05, 2022 05:03 PM (u4CEu)

12 Body cavity search it is.

Posted by: Ace at 05:00 PM

The Transportation Secretary has graciously volunteered to perform all searches for Chess tournaments.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at October 05, 2022 05:03 PM (pGv7z)

13 Meh. Call me when they start kneecapping each other.

Posted by: Figure Skating at October 05, 2022 05:03 PM (lf83v)

14 How do you cheat at fishing?

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Christian Nationalist, Defiant! at October 05, 2022 05:03 PM (VtqbX)

15 Shorter Magnus Carlsen: I was rooked!

Posted by: OrangeEnt at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (7bRMQ)

16 "employing a less gross and less emasculating method of smuggling the signaling device into the match."

Match Snatch Snatched?

Posted by: Headlines we'd like to see at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (sn5EN)

17 That device? Some kind of, erm, remote-controlled anal stimulator which has been modified to issue precise pulses. He would have a confederate monitoring the game, feeding the current position into the chess computer, and then using his remote control to tell Niemann "g5." (Usually chess notation is just done by two characters, which tell you what destination your piece is heading to; only if multiple pieces can get to that square do you have to specify the square the piece is leaving from, i.e., "g4-g5.")

***

If this gets turned into a movie there's no way in hell I'm watching the training montage.

Posted by: Azathoth at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (wb1YC)

18 X-ray would do it but an easier way is just to jam signals in the immediate area.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (Ivdso)

19 What's a butt four?
________

Let me show you.

Posted by: Pete Buttegeig at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (lf83v)

20 Faraday cage?

Great idea. I have been in one. spacious. About 10 x 10 ft.

Plenty of room for a chess match.

Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (C1rbv)

21 How do you cheat at fishing?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Christian Nationalist, Defiant!

Pack the fish you turn in to be weighed with lead weights.

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (LsEU/)

22 No search needed.

Closed room only competitors. No other access. Live stream delayed 20 minutes.

Problem solved.

Posted by: Like watching the Hindeburg Crash and Burn at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (W6tW6)

23 14 How do you cheat at fishing?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Christian Nationalist, Defiant! at October 05, 2022 05:03 PM (VtqbX)

Soak the bait in Ketamine?

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (PiwSw)

24 I should get like, a tenth of a hat tip lol

ANYWAY I am telling you, this kid thinks all the WORK he's done to try to IMPROVE (and I'm sure he has) and the work involved in his little "system" there - it was hard guys!

he thinks he deserved to win for being so smart. sees nothing wrong with it. Gen Z.

Posted by: BlackOrchid at October 05, 2022 05:05 PM (w0NJk)

25 What's a butt four?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur, Buffer

==
Two better than a Butt Too. Also about $25 same as in town.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at October 05, 2022 05:05 PM (u4CEu)

26 Does he get fined or removed from future games?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:05 PM (vH/6k)

27 Scott Adams pointed out major cheating scandals in chess, fishing, and poker recently revealed.

His take on the 2020 election will be Lit.

Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at October 05, 2022 05:05 PM (C1rbv)

28 I miss Oregon Muse, especially in times like this. He would have had a field day with this story.

Oh, and I'm pretty amazed at Magnus Carlsen's ability to figure out that this guy was a cheater.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at October 05, 2022 05:05 PM (9miN6)

29 WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE OF THESE?!

Posted by: Mayor Mary Pete at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (J7SP/)

30 Does he get fined or removed from future games?
___________

They spank his bishop.

Posted by: Pete Buttegeig at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (lf83v)

31 How do you cheat at fishing?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Christian Nationalist, Defiant!

Pack the fish you turn in to be weighed with lead weights.

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM


And that tournament was for $30,000. Those guys who were cheating won over $100,000 the year before in tournaments. There is big money in the professional fishing circuit.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (bVYXr)

32 cheating at chess.....I mean how much money is there in professional chess? Am I missing something?
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:01 PM


Aside from the shaving cream ads and the chicks, "Magnus Carlsen and Vishy Anand, who will play this month’s (2021) world chess championship in Russia, made more than $1 million each of the past two years from chess winnings alone (chess.com)" and some tournaments have $100,000 grand prize funds.

Posted by: Chuck C at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (xttsV)

33 Oh, and I'm pretty amazed at Magnus Carlsen's ability to figure out that this guy was a cheater.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at October 05, 2022 05:05 PM (9miN6)

Maybe he knows what anal stimulation looks like.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (7bRMQ)

34 Great, now the gays are going to be all into chess now.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (Y5qcH)

35 >>>8 Scott Adams pointed out major cheating scandals in chess, fishing, and poker recently revealed.


i just updated -- and bridge.

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (C1Zwz)

36 So "He cheats at chess" is gonna replace "He's a friend of Dorothy" as a euphemism?

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (VbI7r)

37 X-ray would do it but an easier way is just to jam signals in the immediate area.

Or send a continuous high speed stream of moves to the perp via the hijacked signal.

Posted by: Reuben Hick at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (ceWUn)

38 I think they could set up a platform that would block most signals without having to be a 'cage.' Of course, the participants might end up sterile, but occupational hazards and all.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (IyrhE)

39 This makes chess less boring....ZZZZZ

Posted by: It's me donna at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (bs+z0)

40 How do you cheat at fishing?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Christian Nationalist, Defiant!

--
OMG dude. Hilarious video out of cleveland. Walleye tourney. Cut open fish inside lead weights and fish filets to hide the bumps from the weights. Also you catch the fish in advance of the tourney, keep alive and stash em for pick up during the contest. The cheater was standing there while the dropped the weights, fillets out of his three fish. Crowd was PISSED.

Posted by: Like watching the Hindeburg Crash and Burn at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (SZ76D)

41 This is one of the weirder stories I've read this year.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I think I have a skeleton inside me at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (xPJvm)

42 Biden to Hurricane Ian victims: “I know from experience how much anxiety and fear and concern there are in the people. We didn’t lose our whole home, but lightning struck and we lost an awful lot of it.”


sorry to go OT right away but GOD DAMN! Biden is a Topper! I hate freaking toppers

whatever you say - "damn I have pneumonia again" they have to match it! "oh yeah well no lie but I have WALKING DOUBLE PNEUMONIA and so does Jill!"

Posted by: BlackOrchid at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (w0NJk)

43 Blame it all on the sound proof rooms. There was a Columbo about maps and driving to spots around a city and sketching landmarks.

Turns out it was the maps. Whoa!

Joey is klownworld Cmdr. McBragg.

Posted by: micky at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (3byMq)

44 They also suspect that some female champions are doing this, albeit, employing a less gross and less emasculating method of smuggling the SigNaling device into the mATCH.

---

ISWYDT

Posted by: SloPitch Whiffer at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (+R5dc)

45 Faraday cage won't work of chess computer is also inside the dildo...I wonder what the anal pinches would be for signalling the plays? Morse code by long or short anal sphincter contractions?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (ynpvh)

46 >>>25 What's a butt four?

for poopin'!!!

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (C1Zwz)

47 Seems to me that a better strategy would be to have a frequency-scanning device that sends out random erroneous signals, so the thing is buzzing constantly.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (7B5FA)

48 The convincing part is when Magnus Carlsen, the ten year in a row world chess champion, said that his game with Neimann was unlike any other.

Carlsen was beaten badly. And he said something like, "look, I play chess prodigies all the time. But they are always concentrating stressed, working hard during the game." As they should, right? Go up against the champ, you'd better be bringing your "A" game. "But Neimann was relaxed and almost bored."

And then, when asked after the match to explain his moves ("Hey, you just beat the champ! How'd you do it?") Neimann couldn't explain his thinking.

Nothing suspicious there.

Posted by: GanGanowicz at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (Kbz60)

49 It's stories like this that make me really miss OregonMuse. I have no doubt Gorilla Pundit would give us his own hilarious take on the situation...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 05, 2022 05:08 PM (K5n5d)

50 "The suspicion is that he's being signaled by a device he wears on the body, or rather... in the body, which pulses in a certain way to signal to him "e5" or "b7" or whatever.

That device? Some kind of, erm, remote-controlled anal stimulator which has been modified to issue precise pulses."

If a movie were ever to be made about chess, what would the chess equivalent of Kingpin be?

Posted by: Darrell Harris at October 05, 2022 05:08 PM (9miN6)

51 14 How do you cheat at fishing?
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Christian Nationalist, Defiant! at October 05, 2022 05:03 PM (VtqbX)


Put lead weights in the fish.

Also, go out before hand put big bass in a cage in the water, come pick them up later.

Posted by: blaster at October 05, 2022 05:08 PM (pwExq)

52 One night in Bangkok and the anal beads are vibrating!


Posted by: Archer at October 05, 2022 05:08 PM (gmo/4)

53 I guess I just don't have enough of the Eye of the Tiger, because I wouldn't jam a vibrator up my bum just to win a game. I must be low-T or something.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:08 PM (Ivdso)

54 I think they could set up a platform that would block most signals without having to be a 'cage.' Of course, the participants might end up sterile, but occupational hazards and all.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (IyrhE)

They're chess players, do they really have much opportunity to breed?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at October 05, 2022 05:08 PM (7bRMQ)

55 Chess tournaments are quiet enough to where... mightn't you hear it?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:08 PM (dNqv+)

56 When I was graduating at the top of my class in law school I beat a grand master. My word as a Biden.

Posted by: Joe Biden at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (u4CEu)

57 Don't have to be any remote comms. The cheating device itself can contain a chess engine. The chess.com report notes they have no direct evidence of over-the-board cheating. The only accusation they can make is "he plays too well." It will be necessary to use X-ray scanners or CAT scanners or something in the future.

Between COVID and this scandal, chess has gotten a big resurgence in interest. This can be construed as a good thing, I guess.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (24fqN)

58 "So "He cheats at chess" is gonna replace "He's a friend of Dorothy" as a euphemism?
Posted by: Emmett Milbarge"

Pretty much the same as "He doesn't own a weedwhacker".

Posted by: fd 97 at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (sn5EN)

59 more entertaining would be to figure out what frequencies the device is using, and send a multitude of signals... say 60+ a second

Posted by: JD at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (aHF3Y)

60 They also suspect that some female champions are doing this, albeit, employing a less gross and less emasculating method of smuggling the SigNaling device into the mATCH.

***

There must be a lot of women into chess.
Someone told me there's a bunch of movies out there about these types of similar things like this.

Posted by: Azathoth at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (wb1YC)

61 I'm not too smart but, I like the idea of cheating at chess. If you get my drift.

Posted by: Rick Wilson at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (QIYML)

62 So they fingered this guy for cheating?

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (OzJjC)

63 >>>I guess, maybe. Or, they can just be seated inside a faraday cage, which should prevent all signals from going in or out.

They could likely monitor the local area for radio transmissions timed to the players' turns. You'd have to really want to cheat to encrypt such transmissions. So, before long, you could build a pretty thorough database on transmissions and moves to detect a pattern of cheating.

Jamming would be a more legally problematic solution.

How about those airport body scanners or metal detectors?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur, Buffer at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (yHsuS)

64 >>Biden to Hurricane Ian victims: “I know from experience how much anxiety and fear and concern there are in the people. We didn’t lose our whole home, but lightning struck and we lost an awful lot of it.”


Did he manage to *not* mention the loss of his beloved Beau? Because that's a win.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (I/doM)

65 So "He cheats at chess" is gonna replace "He's a friend of Dorothy" as a euphemism?

LOL great

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (Ivdso)

66 52 One night in Bangkok and the anal beads are vibrating!

Posted by: Archer at October 05, 2022 05:08 PM (gmo/4)

I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

Posted by: Murray Head at October 05, 2022 05:10 PM (ynpvh)

67 I thought men have vaginas now. Why would he place it in his ass ? Place it in your vagina like a man son!!

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at October 05, 2022 05:10 PM (ytSiK)

68 56 When I was graduating at the top of my class in law school I beat a grand master. My word as a Biden.
Posted by: Joe Biden at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (u4CEu)

You just gave a reach around to a guy who called himself 'Master'.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:10 PM (dNqv+)

69 Fetterman is going to use an Analbuddy in the debate.

Posted by: torabora at October 05, 2022 05:10 PM (Y274z)

70 sorry to go OT right away but GOD DAMN! Biden is a Topper! I hate freaking toppers

Beau wasn't there to save them because he died. And he served in Iraq. So he knows what it's like to lose a son in combat. And so does Dr. Jill, even though she's not his mother, and he didn't die in combat.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at October 05, 2022 05:10 PM (7B5FA)

71 Any time you have that much money at stake, you'll get cheating.

Magic: The Gathering tournaments, especially the Pro Tour events are notorious for cheating.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 05, 2022 05:10 PM (K5n5d)

72 That guy is a real enema of fair play!

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (I/doM)

73 It wasn't us.

Posted by: Aliens at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (yHsuS)

74 If this gets turned into a movie there's no way in hell I'm watching the training montage.
Posted by: Azathoth at October 05, 2022 05:04 PM (wb1YC)

*******

We could make this movie though we'd much rather do the female version.

Posted by: Brazzers at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (xxG/v)

75 67 I thought men have vaginas now. Why would he place it in his ass ? Place it in your vagina like a man son!!

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at October 05, 2022 05:10 PM (ytSiK)

Cumala would be easy the check for cheating...

Posted by: Murray Head at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (ynpvh)

76 When I was graduating at the top of my class in law school I beat a grand master. My word as a Biden.
Posted by: Joe Biden at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (u4CEu)

At one point he claimed he had an academic scholarship to law school.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (7B5FA)

77 There must be a lot of women into chess.
Someone told me there's a bunch of movies out there about these types of similar things like this.
Posted by: Azathoth at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (wb1YC)


A lot of women are into butt stuff and vibrating panties. At least according to TikTok.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (OzJjC)

78 I miss Oregon Muse, especially in times like this. He would have had a field day with this story.

Oh, and I'm pretty amazed at Magnus Carlsen's ability to figure out that this guy was a cheater.
Posted by: Darrell Harris at October 05, 2022 05:05 PM (9miN6)

I doubt it would be hard to detect a cheater. A person, even a master, would have an erratic pattern of move times. First move, instant. Someone does a tough move, you have to spend a significant time deciding what to do.

For a computer triggered move, though, it would be essentially the time of transmission only given a decent computer. So you could see this inferior player turning out moves at regular intervals, and not really thinking about his moves in between.

Posted by: Oldcat at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (eoQWY)

79 I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine
Posted by: Murray Head

Bold talk for a man with the last name of 'Head'.

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (LsEU/)

80 . . . and the Queen gets to go wherever she wants. . . wheee!

Posted by: Pete Buttegeig at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (lf83v)

81
Oh, lol, Shapiro wears a beard now. When will these guys learn? Goldberg, Williamson, French... now Shapiro.

THE BEARD DOESN'T WORK, GUYS... YOU STILL LOOK LIKE BITCHEZ.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (oINRc)

82 Out: Dueling Banjos
In: Dueling Chess Dildos

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (ynpvh)

83 Number 9 in Morse code is ---------

Very stimulating if using the chess plug.

Posted by: David French at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (QIYML)

84 Anal stimulation? Has anyone told garrett?

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (QSjkU)

85 As quiet as chess tournaments are, how come somebody didn't speak up and say "Hey buddy, your ass is ringing. Answer it."

Posted by: Azathoth at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (wb1YC)

86 79 I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine
Posted by: Murray Head

Bold talk for a man with the last name of 'Head'.

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (LsEU/)

I guess it depends if he's giving or receiving.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (ynpvh)

87 One YT chess channel that I've come to like is
youtube.com/c/AGADMATOR

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (24fqN)

88 Any time you have that much money at stake, you'll get cheating.

Magic: The Gathering tournaments, especially the Pro Tour events are notorious for cheating.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 05, 2022 05:10 PM


My son used to play in the MTG money tournaments all over the world. He would only play in the sealed deck tournaments but there was still cheating even with sealed decks because there was huge money involved.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (bVYXr)

89 Turns out, a fair number of champions were also cheating when it all shook out.

*

Speaking of, has anyone noticed how laughably bad Defensive Genius Brent Venables' defense at Oklahoma is?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (rCyBc)

90 42 Biden to Hurricane Ian victims: “I know from experience how much anxiety and fear and concern there are in the people. We didn’t lose our whole home, but lightning struck and we lost an awful lot of it.”


Ahhhh. The house fire trope. One of the stories he told in DE to get re-elected. I love the volunteer firefighters, you saved my family's life. You saved most of my home. Things can be replaced, family can not, something else I know all too well....

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy, Christian Nationalist, Defiant! at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (VtqbX)

91 Well that stinks.

And I miss OM too

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo, food, water at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (V6f9+)

92 >>So they fingered this guy for cheating?

They had to colon experts to identify how he did it.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (I/doM)

93 The only solution is to play the match with an approved Chess Tournament dildo up your ass. Only way to make sure know one is cheating.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (Y5qcH)

94 85 As quiet as chess tournaments are, how come somebody didn't speak up and say "Hey buddy, your ass is ringing. Answer it."

Posted by: Azathoth at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (wb1YC)

He put his chess game on vibrate

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (ynpvh)

95 When I was graduating at the top of my class in law school I beat a grand master. My word as a Biden.
Posted by: Joe Biden at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (u4CEu)

At one point he claimed he had an academic scholarship to law school.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM


Plus he graduated at the top of his class with two degrees. His word as a biden.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (bVYXr)

96 Don't have to be any remote comms. The cheating device itself can contain a chess engine. The chess.com report notes they have no direct evidence of over-the-board cheating. The only accusation they can make is "he plays too well." It will be necessary to use X-ray scanners or CAT scanners or something in the future.

Between COVID and this scandal, chess has gotten a big resurgence in interest. This can be construed as a good thing, I guess.
Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (24fqN)
---
How would you communicate the board state to the internal computer? Timed squeezing of the buttocks? The computer would need to know the current board state in order to calculate (or look up) the correct move.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (K5n5d)

97 Rectum? Damn near killed him.

It's like I don't even know you people anymore.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (u4CEu)

98 I went to the bank recently and there were two guy tellers, unusual since its always been ladies there in the past. Both were these odd soy creatures with little weak looking faces and long gangly limbs. I am seeing these guys everywhere (no beards as well), is it something in the water lately? No chin, submissive look on their face, kind of nervous looking, maybe muscles but they seem out of place with the face.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (Ivdso)

99 You don't have these cheating problems in cornhole.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (lf83v)

100 "49 It's stories like this that make me really miss OregonMuse. I have no doubt Gorilla Pundit would give us his own hilarious take on the situation...
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel "


Would have made a hell of a Saturday Chess and Dress thread too.

Posted by: Tuna at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (gLRfa)

101 This isn't sour grapes. Magnus Carlsen is a Super Grandmaster. He's FIDE rated around 2860. He picks apart Grandmasters regularly. If a guy that cheats frequently beat Carlsen badly, it's almost certainly by cheating.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (i0wNm)

102 92 >>So they fingered this guy for cheating?

They had to colon experts to identify how he did it.
Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (I/doM)

Can you dust for...poop?

Posted by: Darrell Harris at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (9miN6)

103 92 >>So they fingered this guy for cheating?

They had to colon experts to identify how he did it.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (I/doM)

So the local gay bath house...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (ynpvh)

104 "I doubt it would be hard to detect a cheater."

The chess.com report details the methods that their team uses for detection. It is not exactly easy. Well worth a read.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (24fqN)

105 https://tinyurl.com/muw38f6k

Walleye tourney cheaters - youtube commentary and cellphone video/photos - see about 4 minutes in. . .

Posted by: Like watching the Hindeburg Crash and Burn at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (W+9Y5)

106
Cumala would be easy the check for cheating...
Posted by: Murray Head at October 05, 2022 05:11 PM (ynpvh)

She just has sixteen different eggs in there that vibrate at different frequencies. That's to keep it simple for Ol' Stoneskull.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (oINRc)

107 Hilarious video out of cleveland. Walleye tourney. Cut open fish inside lead weights and fish filets to hide the bumps from the weights. Also you catch the fish in advance of the tourney, keep alive and stash em for pick up during the contest. The cheater was standing there while the dropped the weights, fillets out of his three fish. Crowd was PISSED.

Posted by: Like watching the Hindeburg Crash and Burn at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (SZ76D)

Pro tip: Start running before they start cutting open your stuffed fish.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (yHsuS)

108 Those guys who were cheating won over $100,000 the year before in tournaments. There is big money in the professional fishing circuit.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (bVYXr)

---

pffft. I made triple that in a day with my rake wedge.

Posted by: Patrick Reed at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (+R5dc)

109 In chess, according to something I read recently, a 400-point rating difference between the players means that the higher-rated player will win about 95% of the time.

Not draw, and not lose, but to win 95% of the time.

So this guy beating Carlsen with relative ease really throws up some warning flags.

Posted by: Sasquatch, the Original Trans-Wookie at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (xxG/v)

110 My son used to play in the MTG money tournaments all over the world. He would only play in the sealed deck tournaments but there was still cheating even with sealed decks because there was huge money involved.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (bVYXr)
---
The decks are only "sealed" when you get them. Once they are opened, you can easily slip in a land or two or replace a key card.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (K5n5d)

111 When are the trans men going to take over women's chess?

Posted by: torabora at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (Y274z)

112 If winning requires self-sodomy, maybe just consider doing something else. Golly gee whiz. You know?

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (ppBhU)

113 Rectum? Damn near killed him.

It's like I don't even know you people anymore.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable

What do you think of the anus as a whole?

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (LsEU/)

114 Faraday cage won't work of chess computer is also inside the dildo...I wonder what the anal pinches would be for signalling the plays? Morse code by long or short anal sphincter contractions?
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (ynpvh)

Someone and presumably not the player has to tell the computer the other players moves.

You can pass wires and such through a faraday cage and it would be hard for a broadcast signal to go in the same way. A bend in the pipe would do.

Posted by: Oldcat at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (eoQWY)

115 The cheating device itself can contain a chess engine.

It needs input of how the game is going, that has to come from outside. That suppository doesn't have cameras coming out your nostrils or something Morse coding each move would take quite a while and be easy to mess up.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (Ivdso)

116 There's a good documentary about Magnus in early days. Worth a watch, if you like chess and semi-normal chess players.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo, food, water at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (V6f9+)

117 They recently busted two guys at a fishing tournament for filling their fish with lead weights.

People will cheat at anything that involves money.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (9MoRr)

118 99 You don't have these cheating problems in cornhole.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (lf83v)

Ummm...which conrholing are you talking about?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (ynpvh)

119 Is the source for this the Lemon Report??

Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (yikp0)

120
The Prostate Gambit is often used to breakthrough the Sicilian Sphincter Defense.

Posted by: naturalfake at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (KLPy8)

121 What's a butt four?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur, Buffer

——————

Same as a henway.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (u73oe)

122
I use my Anal Signaling Device to read me Bible passages about how great I am.

I'm on my fortieth read-through of Song of Solomon.

Posted by: The Christ David French at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (C1Zwz)

123 Not draw, and not lose, but to win 95% of the time.

So this guy beating Carlsen with relative ease really throws up some warning flags.
Posted by: Sasquatch, the Original Trans-Wookie at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (xxG/v)

especially after being caught cheating twice before.

Posted by: Oldcat at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (eoQWY)

124 People will cheat at anything that involves money.
Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (9MoRr)

But not elections. Nope. They wouldn't cheat for that.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (Y5qcH)

125 Nah, bro. Just have a faraday cage around the venue, and have a really powerful scanner search for Bluetooth links.

Then have them link and start playing AC/DC or Rammstein songs at them

Posted by: Kindltot at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (xhaym)

126 121 What's a butt four?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur, Buffer

——————

Same as a henway.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (u73oe)

What's a ...

Oh. I'm not saying.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (9miN6)

127 But what if both sides cheat? That makes it fair right?

Posted by: olddog in mo at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (ju2Fy)

128 My husband Paul uses an Analbuddy to trade stocks when I'm manipulating the markets with my law making.

Tee hee.

Posted by: Nanxi Pelosi at October 05, 2022 05:16 PM (Y274z)

129 Ummm...which conrholing are you talking about?
_________

Uhh. . . the one where you have to put your sack in the hole.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (lf83v)

130 >>>It needs input of how the game is going, that has to come from outside. That suppository doesn't have cameras coming out your nostrils

you just need exquisitely fine control of your bowel muscles. And some of us do. wink!

Posted by: Don LeMon at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (C1Zwz)

131 "He's a friend of Dorothy"

Disco dancin' Oscar Wilde readin' Streisand ticket holdin' friend of Dorothy

Posted by: It's me donna at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (bs+z0)

132 Isn't Boris Spassky a conservative?

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (9MoRr)

133 Stockfish 15, IIRC, has a rating of around 3500, whereas Carlsen's rating is around 2860.

So Stockfish should be able to beat Magnus with ease.

Posted by: Sasquatch, the Original Trans-Wookie at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (xxG/v)

134 Has Carlsen come out and said he will now live his life as a gay man?

Posted by: Beartooth at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (3p4cr)

135 38 I think they could set up a platform that would block most signals without having to be a 'cage.' Of course, the participants might end up sterile, but occupational hazards and all.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 05, 2022 05:07 PM (IyrhE)

Somehow, I don't expect sterility is something many expert chess players would need to be concerned over.

Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (pkTq0)

136 >>Can you dust for...poop?

Sure, in a pinch. . .

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (I/doM)

137 "How would you communicate the board state to the internal computer? Timed squeezing of the buttocks?"

I guess that's the leading theory at this point. N.B.: chess.com has NO direct evidence of Hans OTB cheating. They have his confession to cheating online, and the confessions of many other online cheaters, including GMs and FIDE Top 100 players. The spin on this story is unsupported by the text of the report, which I read in full last nite.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (24fqN)

138 But what if both sides cheat? That makes it fair right?
_______

Right.

Posted by: MLB Pitchers on Steroids Pitching MLB Hitters on Steroids at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (lf83v)

139 I'd do anything for . . . chess. I'd even do that.

Posted by: Meatloaf's Least Appreciated B Side at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (ppBhU)

140 Neville The Cat's report does explain how these twerps are so out of touch, mindless, and so prone toward promoting policies that do not affect their class.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:18 PM (Ivdso)

141 99 You don't have these cheating problems in cornhole.

Just sayin'.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (lf83v)

Would that be considered performance enhancing?

Billy had great form until Darrell let out a laugh and then Billy jerked to the left.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:18 PM (dNqv+)

142 A Butt Four is twenty bucks.

Same as in town.

Posted by: torabora at October 05, 2022 05:18 PM (Y274z)

143 Just spitballing here....but it seems like having big (or maybe even small) amounts of money on the line would change the way people act. And would be a huge draw for cheaters.

Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:18 PM (tQL7r)

144 It needs input of how the game is going, that has to come from outside. That suppository doesn't have cameras coming out your nostrils or something Morse coding each move would take quite a while and be easy to mess up.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (Ivdso)

In theory the chess player could be the operator, but it would require a unique input device or technique to remain undetected. I'm not sure how well a chess analysis program would fit on a small device you can wear.

Posted by: Oldcat at October 05, 2022 05:18 PM (eoQWY)

145 I like playing the queen.

Posted by: Rick Wilson at October 05, 2022 05:18 PM (QIYML)

146 People will cheat at anything that involves money.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (9MoRr)
===

This too is why the big cheat in 2020.... lots and lots and lots of money.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (u4CEu)

147 But what if both sides cheat? That makes it fair right?

"NO! The small market town is always the villain!"
--Boston Redsox cheating the same as Houston

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (Ivdso)

148 So they fingered this guy for cheating?

They had to colon experts to identify how he did it.
Posted by: Lizzy


Golf clap Lizzy.
It's true, we can pun anything. Now for more anal puns.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (OzJjC)

149 >>>136 >>Can you dust for...poop?
Sure, in a pinch. . .

hahah

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (C1Zwz)

150 Magnus Carlsen is a Super Grandmaster.

Trivial, shallow point: He's also better looking than the guy who cheated with something up his backside.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (vH/6k)

151 Somehow, I don't expect sterility is something many expert chess players would need to be concerned over.

****

"So, this counts as sex, right?"
- my high school chess club

Posted by: Azathoth at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (wb1YC)

152 He could cheat on one of those old time vibrating electric football games.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (63Dwl)

153 Plus he graduated at the top of his class with two degrees. His word as a biden.

He graduated with 98.6 degrees. A real overachiever, that one.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com - Email for morons. at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (Bd6X8)

154 How do you cheat at fishing?
Posted by: Cat A** Trophy

///

By putting weights inside the fish.

Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (tQL7r)

155 I thought fishing tourneys went by length of the fish. I suppose too many ties that way in a big tournament.

Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (3cGpq)

156 129 Ummm...which conrholing are you talking about?
_________

Uhh. . . the one where you have to put your sack in the hole.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at October 05, 2022 05:17 PM (lf83v)

You've obviously not read the bedroom golf rules.
Rule #3: 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the CLUB in the hole and keep the balls out.

https://www.myrtlebeachgolf.com/news/bedroom-golf-rules/

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (ynpvh)

157 Not sure I understand how he could pick up "G5" through his porthole.

Posted by: Caliban at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (ni2c1)

158 "It needs input of how the game is going, that has to come from outside."

No it doesn't have to come from outside. Cheaters have used tactile interfaces for decades at casinos, etc.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (24fqN)

159 Fetterman has an entire extra human head buried in his neck.

Everyone thought Men In Black was just a movie.

Posted by: torabora at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (Y274z)

160 You don't have these cheating problems in cornhole.

Just sayin'.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot


You never can tell. Especially the way people stand around fingering their bags.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (OzJjC)

161 I’m calling bullshit on this. They want the kid out of there for some reason. He’s no joke. He’s beaten top players in live, face-to-face matches, including Carlsen. I don’t believe you can effectively cheat in those kind of matches against world-class opponents. Chess is a weird, small clique of mean girls. For whatever reason, they want this kid gone.

Posted by: Elric Blade at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (V6doV)

162 People will cheat at anything that involves money.
Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (9MoRr)

But not elections. Nope. They wouldn't cheat for that.
==
Had the privilege of representing a Russian born doctor who came over here in later life and continued to practice. She explained to me in no uncertain terms what people will do when they can no longer rely on the rule of law or organized society. It was eye opening. We are getting closer to the burning times.

Posted by: Like watching the Hindeburg Crash and Burn at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (oIT5v)

163 >>>152 He could cheat on one of those old time vibrating electric football games.

I tried getting one of those in my ass one time and only got it in half way. Shrug.

Posted by: David French at October 05, 2022 05:21 PM (C1Zwz)

164 My high school gym class had a class on bridge for some reason. I took it, the basketball coach taught it, we sat and played cards. I think he just wanted to play cards. I never got to the detailed stuff, seemed to mentally intensive for just having fun. But no doubt, some subtle signals would not be that hard, as long as they are changed up.

Bridge for the serious folks I guess ... play with one hand, then get dealt the opposite hand. This is to see how well the team plays, regardless of the hand dealt. Neat concept, removes the luck factor. (I forget what it is called ... )

Posted by: illiniwek at October 05, 2022 05:21 PM (Cus5s)

165 As for the girls, winning gives them an orgasm.

Posted by: Caliban at October 05, 2022 05:21 PM (ni2c1)

166 889 Moron Robbie

Oklahoma and Texas are moving to the SEC so they don't have to play football against Kansas and Kansas State.

There. I said it.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at October 05, 2022 05:21 PM (u82oZ)

167 You've obviously not read the bedroom golf rules.
Rule #3: 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the CLUB in the hole and keep the balls out.
Posted by: jim

Was that wrong? If I had known that was wrong. . .

Acksully, this explains of number of tense situations.

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:21 PM (LsEU/)

168 Cheaters have used tactile interfaces for decades at casinos, etc.

Yeah and they get busted easily and quickly because tapping out morse on your thigh between every move is kinda obvious

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:21 PM (Ivdso)

169 Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)
____________

LOL! That's great!

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at October 05, 2022 05:21 PM (lf83v)

170 >>>Not sure I understand how he could pick up "G5" through his porthole.

Binary numbers. After all, it's where he drops deuces. Perfect combination.

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (C1Zwz)

171 My son used to play in the MTG money tournaments all over the world. He would only play in the sealed deck tournaments but there was still cheating even with sealed decks because there was huge money involved.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:12 PM (bVYXr)
---
The decks are only "sealed" when you get them. Once they are opened, you can easily slip in a land or two or replace a key card.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM


That's why he quit playing.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (bVYXr)

172 I'll admit, if I sat down to have a game with him, I'd have a hard time not punching Magnus in the face when he does that stupid "adjust every piece" quirk at the start.

Fortunately, the chance I'll ever be in that position is somewhat less than 0%.

Posted by: spindrift at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (h5TKJ)

173 The Internet of Things is not turning out the way I expected.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (to2dd)

174 Martha's Vineyard cheated by removing their illegal aliens.

Posted by: torabora at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (Y274z)

175 The chips in Le Chiffre's hands flipped over in dazzling ways while he gazed at the pile of marbles. Then his fingers stopped and a slow smile appeared.

"It appears, Mister Bond, that your hippos were not nearly as famished as mine."

Posted by: BourbonChicken at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (44ww/)

176 As far as Chess guys getting the chicks... Carlsen, the world champ, is a Norwegian and from little I can tell doesn't have any problems at all landing the ladies.

Lots, however, would maybe even consider Trigglypuff.

Well, that's probably not true.

Posted by: GanGanowicz at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (Kbz60)

177 The chips in Le Chiffre's hands flipped over in dazzling ways while he gazed at the pile of marbles. Then his fingers stopped and a slow smile appeared.

I mean, its as valid a game as Baccarat, which sounds sexy and they make it look cool in the movies but is basically high/low in Monaco.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:23 PM (Ivdso)

178 You've obviously not read the bedroom golf rules.
Rule #3: 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the CLUB in the hole and keep the balls out.
Posted by: jim

Unless you are trying to perform the patented "Dog in a bath tub" maneuver

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at October 05, 2022 05:23 PM (OgrpQ)

179 he was using the Professional Electronic Gaming system.

Also know as PEG

Posted by: Doyle Hargrave at October 05, 2022 05:23 PM (2cfUo)

180
"NO! The small market town is always the villain!"
--Boston Redsox New York Yankees cheating the same as Houston

There, better

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at October 05, 2022 05:23 PM (1Nxff)

181 >>They also suspect that some female champions are doing this, albeit, employing a less gross and less emasculating method of smuggling the signaling device into the match.


g5
G5!
GGGGGGGG5!
OHGEEEEEEEEEEEFIIIIIIIIIVE!
*deep sigh*
Uh, where were we?

Posted by: Cheatin' Chess Chick at October 05, 2022 05:24 PM (I/doM)

182 OT: I've had the Rekieta live stream with the hearing of the black supremacist terrorist and mass-murderer Darrell Brooks on in the background and listening in while not on conference calls and it's truly something. It's still going on, by the way.

https://youtu.be/vDaBGRdBEJk

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at October 05, 2022 05:24 PM (DTX3h)

183 "Chess is a weird, small clique of mean girls. For whatever reason, they want this kid gone." Posted by: Elric Blade

maybe they are groomers, just want to get up his ass? Those groomers infiltrate everything.

Posted by: illiniwek at October 05, 2022 05:24 PM (Cus5s)

184 "Yeah and they get busted easily and quickly because tapping out morse on your thigh between every move is kinda obvious"

Yes, all the ones that got caught got caught. The ones that didn't didn't. Don't underestimate the ingenuity of cheaters and magicians.

Like I said, just have the OTB match participants X-ray scanned onsite or whatever. As for online games, you must accept the likelihood of being cheated, no matter who you play against.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:24 PM (24fqN)

185 Joe used the world's most sophisticated election fraud machine to win.

Posted by: torabora at October 05, 2022 05:24 PM (Y274z)

186 I mean, its as valid a game as Baccarat, which sounds sexy and they make it look cool in the movies but is basically high/low in Monaco.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:23 PM (Ivdso)


So what is Chemin de Fer? Some sort of domino game?

Posted by: Kindltot at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (xhaym)

187

no but really:

D would be "4", so (beat)(beat)(signal)(beat)

7 would be, well, seven. (signal)(signal)(signal)

D7 would be (beat)(beat)(signal) Long Pause to indicate break between digits (signal)(signal)(signal)

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (C1Zwz)

188 Cheatin' Chess Chick

I thought the G spot was a myth?

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (u82oZ)

189 When are the trans men going to take over women's chess?

Posted by: torabora at October 05, 2022 05:15 PM (Y274z)

It shouldn't matter. Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game.

Posted by: Mark1971 at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (xPl2J)

190 Came here to make the what's a butt four joke, butt I see it has already been covered. I should have ASSumed as much.

Posted by: Rusty Nail at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (dIAPL)

191 Here at the HQs (tugs right ear) there will be no cheating (coughs twice) for any reason (scratches nose) and especially for noods (adjusts underwear).

Posted by: Diogenes at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (anj39)

192 Say the move bitch! SAY THE MOVE!

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable a Clear and Present Danger at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (u4CEu)

193 If only there were a way to broadcast on his frequency at 220 volts.

Posted by: t-bird at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (amJF4)

194 Bridge for the serious folks I guess ... play with one hand, then get dealt the opposite hand. This is to see how well the team plays, regardless of the hand dealt. Neat concept, removes the luck factor. (I forget what it is called ... )
Posted by: illiniwek at October 05, 2022 05:21 PM (Cus5s)

I remember when being taught the bridge bidding rules on trumps busting out laughing and saying "I HAVE 4 HEART CARDS" because that's what the bids seemed to mean.

Posted by: Oldcat at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (eoQWY)

195 'Sodom shame about all this cheating!

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (I/doM)

196 Speaking of, has anyone noticed how laughably bad Defensive Genius Brent Venables' defense at Oklahoma is?
Posted by: Moron Robbie

///

Yep. Pretty darn bad. I never did get the rationale for his hire at Norman.

Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:26 PM (tQL7r)

197
I always appreciate a g5 when on my way to the polls late at night.

Posted by: Buick filled with ballots heading to Allegheny County at October 05, 2022 05:26 PM (y3pKJ)

198 181 >>They also suspect that some female champions are doing this, albeit, employing a less gross and less emasculating method of smuggling the signaling device into the match.


g5
G5!
GGGGGGGG5!
OHGEEEEEEEEEEEFIIIIIIIIIVE!
*deep sigh*
Uh, where were we?

Posted by: Cheatin' Chess Chick at October 05, 2022 05:24 PM (I/doM)

LOL, the input was too close the G spot, apparently...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:26 PM (ynpvh)

199 Cute one getting his licks here:
https://twitter.com/i/status/1577585289794658305

Posted by: Ciampino -- just a link to a cat video at October 05, 2022 05:26 PM (qfLjt)

200 161 I’m calling bullshit on this. They want the kid out of there for some reason. He’s no joke. He’s beaten top players in live, face-to-face matches, including Carlsen. I don’t believe you can effectively cheat in those kind of matches against world-class opponents. Chess is a weird, small clique of mean girls. For whatever reason, they want this kid gone.
Posted by: Elric Blade at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (V6doV)

I disagree - there's too much to gain by him cheating at his age...he's cheating.

Posted by: Nova local at October 05, 2022 05:26 PM (exHjb)

201 You could get shot for cheating at cards in the Long Branch.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 05, 2022 05:26 PM (63Dwl)

202 The Internet of Things is not turning out the way I expected.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (to2dd)

Magnus Carlsen told a joke.

He laughed. Hans Niemann laughed.

Niemann's rectum let out a muffled chuckle.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:27 PM (yHsuS)

203 Artist's rendition of Assscam...

https://tinyurl.com/yck7tveh

Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at October 05, 2022 05:27 PM (yikp0)

204
I mean, its as valid a game as Baccarat, which sounds sexy and they make it look cool in the movies but is basically high/low in Monaco.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:23 PM (Ivdso)

____________.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_baccarat_scandal

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at October 05, 2022 05:27 PM (1Nxff)

205 By putting weights inside the fish.
Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (tQL7r)

More ways than that. Stake out previously caught fish is another way. Illegal bait is another.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 05, 2022 05:27 PM (QSjkU)

206 My favorite chess piece is the porn.

Posted by: Rick Wilson at October 05, 2022 05:27 PM (QIYML)

207 > If winning requires self-sodomy, maybe just consider doing something else. Golly gee whiz. You know?

===

What's the big deal? I fuck myself all the time on the golf course.

Posted by: sharksauce at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (vted1)

208 So what is Chemin de Fer? Some sort of domino game?

Its a variant of Baccarat. You're trying to get as close as possible to a given number with two cards, and the dealer has a slight edge. The more you know about the game the dumber it feels, but I mean, blackjack isn't far off. A lot of games are really stupid the further you get away from them and look at it objectively.

Wait, your whole purpose here is to put a ball through a hoop? But you have to bounce it the whole way?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (Ivdso)

209 The Cad

Posted by: Skip's phone at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (xhxe8)

210 "It appears, Mister Bond, that your hippos were not nearly as famished as mine."
Posted by: BourbonChicken at October 05, 2022 05:22 PM (44ww/)

Now! ON TO THE BALL TORTURE!
-bleeding eye guy

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (dNqv+)

211 Afternoon.

I think wireless anal beads have severely limited range between the controller and the beads. All that stuff was made up Twatter horseshit.

As an aside, from the earlier post, but the phrase "nerd mathmatiqueers" is a goddamn work of art.

Posted by: Robert at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (8vrw3)

212 Our College electronic lab had a faraday cage room with AC power inside. Otherwise it gets awful dark awful quick, and how do you do electronic experiments if you do not have power?

One way to defeat any signals leaking in would be to just overload them with wide spectrum white noise. Or do a frequency scan of the electronic spectrum outside, and jam those frequencies with noise inside the room.

Posted by: rd at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (Z32m1)

213 OT: I've had the Rekieta live stream with the hearing of the black supremacist terrorist and mass-murderer Darrell Brooks on in the background and listening in while not on conference calls and it's truly something. It's still going on, by the way.

https://youtu.be/vDaBGRdBEJk

*

They f*cked with the color balance of the camera to try and make him look white.

Wow.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (rCyBc)

214 205 By putting weights inside the fish.
Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:19 PM (tQL7r)

More ways than that. Stake out previously caught fish is another way. Illegal bait is another.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 05, 2022 05:27 PM (QSjkU)

I guess using dynamite is out of the question?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (ynpvh)

215 The FNM: Haha people go to extraordinary lengths to cheat in relatively low stakes things like competitive chess! I mean...the lengths they'll go...sticking stuff in their butts? Wow...for so little.

Also the FNM: Any accusation that people would cheat in our sacred elections, which by the way literally decide the fate of the world are insane. I mean cheating? We have morals don't we? And no, no you can't check for cheating your h8ter you!

Posted by: 18-1 at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (ESjRY)

216 You don't have these cheating problems in cornhole.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (lf83v)

But at least vibrating anal beads would make sense in that game.

Posted by: Archer at October 05, 2022 05:29 PM (gmo/4)

217 no but really:

D would be "4", so (beat)(beat)(signal)(beat)

7 would be, well, seven. (signal)(signal)(signal)

D7 would be (beat)(beat)(signal) Long Pause to indicate break between digits (signal)(signal)(signal)

Posted by: ace


After all that thumping by the butt plug, his prostate has to be killing him.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:29 PM (OzJjC)

218 You can have wires going into a Faraday Cage and it will not defeat its signal blocking characteristics. A Faraday Cage can also have openings and still stop signals.

Posted by: astonerii at October 05, 2022 05:29 PM (VcZlJ)

219 Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game.

Yeah that makes zero sense. Do they arm wrestle between matches or something? There's no reason a woman cannot whup men at chess.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:29 PM (Ivdso)

220 ’m calling bullshit on this. They want the kid out of there for some reason. He’s no joke. He’s beaten top players in live, face-to-face matches, including Carlsen. I don’t believe you can effectively cheat in those kind of matches against world-class opponents. Chess is a weird, small clique of mean girls. For whatever reason, they want this kid gone.
Posted by: Elric Blade at October 05, 2022 05:20 PM (V6doV)

I disagree - there's too much to gain by him cheating at his age...he's cheating.
==
He's admitted cheating, but lied about it when he "admitted" it. he is a cheat by admission and a liar by proof. Why would a person think he's reliable on this now? No. Its not a witch hunt. He's got problems. He may be an otherwise perfectly fine neighbor. I wouldn't trust him with my car. Or anything involving money.

Posted by: Like watching the Hindeburg Crash and Burn at October 05, 2022 05:29 PM (t2jJ9)

221 I mean, its as valid a game as Baccarat, which sounds sexy and they make it look cool in the movies but is basically high/low in Monaco.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:23 PM (Ivdso)
----------
It's a game for simpletons who want to lose a lot of money in a hurry.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at October 05, 2022 05:29 PM (to2dd)

222 Oklahoma and Texas are moving to the SEC so they don't have to play football against Kansas and Kansas State.

There. I said it.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

And here I thought it was all those sweet SEC millions of dollars.

Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (tQL7r)

223 As for bridge play, my parents played competitively in their youth, and as long as your opponents were aware of your bidding conventions, it was fair. My dad had a convention for my mom to bid at the 2 level if she had a good hand, so he could bid slams and grand slams, b/c she would never bid them - so it was left to him to always decide if the hand was worth that or not.

Then, they had kids...and that ended their competitive bridge play, and they never got to retirement to restart it...

I love to play bridge, but I am not known to be a quiet player, so i probably play it like the poker pros play poker, which technically probably breaks a lot of bridge rules...

Posted by: Nova local at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (exHjb)

224 Start off with pawns and plenty of lube, work your way up to bishops.

Rooks, knights, kings, or queens if you like it rough.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (bW8dp)

225 196 Speaking of, has anyone noticed how laughably bad Defensive Genius Brent Venables' defense at Oklahoma is?
Posted by: Moron Robbie

///

Yep. Pretty darn bad. I never did get the rationale for his hire at Norman.





TBOW (that bitch out west) left the cupboard bare when jumped to USC with no notice . 40% new roster. Give him time to recruit. It's a talent issue.

Posted by: Doyle Hargrave at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (2cfUo)

226 https://youtu.be/vDaBGRdBEJk

*

They f*cked with the color balance of the camera to try and make him look white.

**

Seriously, go look at the feed. The black supremacist's papers are nearly glowing.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (rCyBc)

227 Any time the prizes are big bucks you will have cheats. And fishing tournaments might have a top prize worth 50K or more. That will make a lot of people untrustworthy.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (QSjkU)

228 Sometimes cornhole involves a penis...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo, food, water at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (V6f9+)

229 So what is Chemin de Fer? Some sort of domino game?

Posted by: Kindltot at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (xhaym)

Same basically as baccarat, but the players bet against each other and can choose to take a card. baccarat is played against the house and card is taken or not by value of hand.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (7bRMQ)

230 We wouldn't be talking about this if he wasn't using anal stimuli.... Only reason it makes it interesting

Posted by: It's me donna at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (bs+z0)

231 >>picture is conveyed first by a telescope-like tube carries the image out of the faraday cage and then

Or a wire would work

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (3sqAk)

232 They f*cked with the color balance of the camera to try and make him look white.

Wow.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (rCyBc)

Huh, you are not wrong. He does look decidedly pale. I also notice he completely shaved off his dreads.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (dNqv+)

233
199 Cute one getting his licks here:
https://twitter.com/i/status/. 1577585289794658305
Posted by: Ciampino -- just a link to a cat video at October 05, 2022 05:26 PM (qfLjt)

That is, as the kids say, adorbz.

Posted by: Robert at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (8vrw3)

234 213 They f*cked with the color balance of the camera to try and make him look white.

Wow.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:28 PM (rCyBc)


I think that's due to his being taken away to a separate room since he wouldn't shut the fuck up while in the courtroom and you're watching him on a monitor.

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (DTX3h)

235 Teledildonics is not just for recreation anymore. This story is like some kind of sad, demented William Gibson fan fiction.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (ppBhU)

236 If only there were a way to broadcast on his frequency at 220 volts.

Posted by: t-bird at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (amJF4)
---
"Mr. Rivers, ve haff bad news for you. Your friend did not understand that outlets here use 220."

*Hands over destroyed Anal Intruder*

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (llXky)

237 I remember the West Point cheating scandal. That was disappointing to say the least.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (9MoRr)

238 "Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game.

Yeah that makes zero sense. Do they arm wrestle between matches or something? There's no reason a woman cannot whup men at chess."

Except they don't. There are more men on the right tail of the chess bell curve than women. It's not even close.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (24fqN)

239 Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game.

Yeah that makes zero sense. Do they arm wrestle between matches or something? There's no reason a woman cannot whup men at chess.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:29 PM (Ivdso)

Boobs. Unfair distraction.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (yHsuS)

240 D would be "4", so (beat)(beat)(signal)(beat)

7 would be, well, seven. (signal)(signal)(signal)

D7 would be (beat)(beat)(signal) Long Pause to indicate break between digits (signal)(signal)(signal)

Posted by: ace


I'm currently reading War and Peace.

Posted by: David French at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (amJF4)

241 Seriously, go look at the feed. The black supremacist's papers are nearly glowing.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (rCyBc)

Heh. They do look like a hand with a sword is about to burst through the surface.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (dNqv+)

242 230 We wouldn't be talking about this if he wasn't using anal stimuli.... Only reason it makes it interesting

Posted by: It's me donna at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (bs+z0)

Well, you expected it'd be inserted in his pecker?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (ynpvh)

243 Same basically as baccarat, but the players bet against each other and can choose to take a card. baccarat is played against the house and card is taken or not by value of hand.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (7bRMQ)
---
Banco!

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 05, 2022 05:32 PM (llXky)

244 Want to bet the cohort is the one jambing the anal reception up his A Hole?

Posted by: Skip's phone at October 05, 2022 05:32 PM (xhxe8)

245 If only there were a way to broadcast on his frequency at 220 volts.
Posted by: t-bird at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM

No need to get violent. If you find his frequency, just play Beastie Boys in his ass non-stop.

Posted by: Rusty Nail at October 05, 2022 05:32 PM (dIAPL)

246 I wish I could have watched Randy Savage play contract bridge.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo, food, water at October 05, 2022 05:32 PM (V6f9+)

247 Except they don't. There are more men on the right tail of the chess bell curve than women. It's not even close.
Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (24fqN)

Spatial awareness and killer instinct.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:32 PM (dNqv+)

248 Any time the prizes are big bucks you will have cheats. And fishing tournaments might have a top prize worth 50K or more. That will make a lot of people untrustworthy.
Posted by: Xipe Totec


Depending on the tournament, it could be 50,000 cash and a fully decked out ranger bass boat, which is another $50-$70,000.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:32 PM (OzJjC)

249 Here's a real image of the black supremacist Darrel Brooks, black man. Very much not white, slightly asian man with glowing paperwork.

https://tinyurl.com/2zsc4qpt

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:32 PM (rCyBc)

250 Breaking: Biden has just hired chess players as 2024 eballot counters.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at October 05, 2022 05:33 PM (OalnH)

251 Except they don't. There are more men on the right tail of the chess bell curve than women. It's not even close.
=
On the bell curve, the dudes are outliers. More tards and more super Geniuses.

Posted by: Like watching the Hindeburg Crash and Burn at October 05, 2022 05:33 PM (ureV5)

252 >>Sometimes cornhole involves a penis...

BROS!

Posted by: Billy Eichner at October 05, 2022 05:33 PM (I/doM)

253 There's no reason a woman cannot whup men at chess.

No reason except reality. They apparently don't very often. Kind of like how STEM is male dominated.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at October 05, 2022 05:33 PM (ppBhU)

254 > I wouldn't trust him with my car. Or anything involving money.

Years back when a friend was thinking about going into business with a mutual acquaintance, I told him "Look, Bob (Not His Real Name) is a fun guy to hang out with in the bar. Barrel of laughs. Doesn't mean I'd go into business with him. Or have him as a roommate with any expectation of him paying his share of the bills. Or play cards with him for money. Or..."

The friend went into business with Bob anyway. And you already know the rest of the story.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:33 PM (bW8dp)

255 Prime Sister

The extra money is not that much more. Texas and OU travel expenses will eat up a lot of that. Plus, increased odds against winning the SEC.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at October 05, 2022 05:33 PM (u82oZ)

256 They recently busted two guys at a fishing tournament for filling their fish with lead weights.

People will cheat at anything that involves money.
Posted by: polynikes


But never politics! Voting is always honest and never, ever corrupted!

Posted by: rd at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (Z32m1)

257 >>>Its a variant of Baccarat. You're trying to get as close as possible to a given number with two cards, and the dealer has a slight edge.

i think chemin de fer allows you some choice as to whether to hit or not, whereas in baccarat, your choices are dictated on all cards except a 5, where you have the choice of whether to ask for a card or stand.

I think Bond plays chemin de fer a lot in the books.

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (C1Zwz)

258 I'm currently reading War and Peace.

Posted by: David French at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (amJF4)
---
Gotta pass the time until Nancy's done, eh?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (llXky)

259 Any time the prizes are big bucks you will have cheats. And fishing tournaments might have a top prize worth 50K or more. That will make a lot of people untrustworthy.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 05, 2022 05:30 PM (QSjkU)

We had a local friends tourney and some dude stuffed his fish with sand. They were puking it up in the live well.

We're talking bragging rights and less than about $150.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (yHsuS)

260 Now that computers are better than humans, that really is the end of tournament chess.

Anybody with an internet connection and access to a chess playing supercomputer can beat the world champion in a match.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (I2/tG)

261 Mr. Rivers, ve haff bad news for you. Your friend did not understand that outlets here use 220.

The criminally underappreciated Top Secret.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (Ivdso)

262 I remember the West Point cheating scandal. That was disappointing to say the least.
Posted by: polynikes

There have been numerous cheating episodes at the Naval Academy in Annapolis.

I'm not sure they really cleaned house - memory fails.

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (LsEU/)

263 Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:31 PM (24fqN)

The differences aren't just physical. We also think differently. Our spatial and mechanical thought processes are much different for the most part.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (9MoRr)

264 Breaking: Biden has just hired chess players as 2024 eballot counters.
Posted by: Joe XiDen at October 05, 2022 05:33 PM (OalnH)

Does this mean Biden will have anal beads up his ass during the debates?

Posted by: Robert at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (8vrw3)

265 >>>Banco!
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd

haha!

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (C1Zwz)

266 Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game.

Yeah that makes zero sense. Do they arm wrestle between matches or something? There's no reason a woman cannot whup men at chess.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:29 PM (Ivdso)

Because the guys that are at that level of chess play have never been seated that close to a woman who isn't a relative in the life. They pass out from the sexual stress.

Posted by: Archer at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (gmo/4)

267 I didn't learn the game at all but as a child I used to watch the Championship Bridge with Charles Goren TV show syndicated on Ontario's PBS...

https://www.imdb.com/
title/tt1214212/

Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (yikp0)

268 "I mean how much money is there in professional chess?"

A. Lot.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (TU8Tj)

269 Everything is an op, and everyone is trying to game the system.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (OzJjC)

270 But women can swim long distances better!

(please don't look at long distance swimming records)

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (rCyBc)

271 > On the bell curve, the dudes are outliers. More tards and more super Geniuses.

Men are nature's experiments. They're expendable. You can kill off 90% of the males and still have a viable population (with some very, very happy men among the survivors).

Lose 90% of the women, and you're fucked.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (bW8dp)

272 cheatin at chess ??

next thing will be cheatin at fishin

dang it all

Posted by: REDACTED at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (us2H3)

273 Shouldn't the post title be: Queen to Butt Four?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (llXky)

274 "We also think differently"

Roger that.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (24fqN)

275 Bicycle racers cheat like hell too, when they can get away with it.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (QSjkU)

276 I didn't think it possible that the pile of shit known as Breitbart could get any higher and more repulsive, I was wrong.


Anyone in a critical political race is in a 'Dead Heat.' LOLGF

Posted by: Maj. Healey at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (QIYML)

277 >>>>Spatial awareness

Women would have to stop the match to ask for directions.

Posted by: Mark1971 at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (xPl2J)

278 There's no reason a woman cannot whup men at chess.

In general, yes. The best female chess player would kick my ass at chess. But that doesn’t appear to be the case for high levels of play; there’s never been a female grandmaster, for example.

Arguments can certainly be made (and are) that this is not biological, but cultural. I would not bet that way, however.

Men and women do have different brains and excel at different intellectual tasks. It’s very likely that these differences come into play in competitive, high-level chess play, just as it probably comes into play for high-level engineering skills.

Sorry for getting your site canceled, Ace.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (ZbIrJ)

279 I’m guessing the first instance of cheating in human history was about 30 seconds after the first game in human history was created.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (OalnH)

280 Those guys who were cheating won over $100,000 the year before in tournaments. There is big money in the professional fishing circuit.
Posted by: Mister Scott

Truth. An Art teacher at my son's HS moved to Arkansas from Michigan....to further her middle school son's fishing career. He made big bucks.

Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (tQL7r)

281 "Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game."

perhaps the testosterone drives men to try harder? Or like the "hard" sciences, why do men dominate (especially in real achievements)?

Posted by: illiniwek at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (Cus5s)

282 no but really:

D would be "4", so (beat)(beat)(signal)(beat)

7 would be, well, seven. (signal)(signal)(signal)

D7 would be (beat)(beat)(signal) Long Pause to indicate break between digits (signal)(signal)(signal)

Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:25 PM (C1Zwz)

I am not playing you in chess.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (yHsuS)

283 The differences aren't just physical. We also think differently. Our spatial and mechanical thought processes are much different for the most part.
Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (9MoRr)

Ninety percent of a woman's thoughts are occupied by shoes.

Posted by: Robert at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (8vrw3)

284 Well, you expected it'd be inserted in his pecker?
Posted by: jim

Annnnnnd, every Moron here clenched up and went 'Ohhhhh!'.

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:36 PM (LsEU/)

285 "What's a butt four?"

20 bucks. Same as in town.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at October 05, 2022 05:36 PM (TU8Tj)

286 271 > On the bell curve, the dudes are outliers. More tards and more super Geniuses.

Men are nature's experiments. They're expendable. You can kill off 90% of the males and still have a viable population (with some very, very happy men among the survivors).

Lose 90% of the women, and you're fucked.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (bW8dp)

Possibly in the ass by some of the other men...Yikes!

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:36 PM (ynpvh)

287 Does this mean Biden will have anal beads up his ass during the debates?

Posted by: Robert at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (8vrw3)


Can you think of a better way to stop the poo from gushing out?

Posted by: Archer at October 05, 2022 05:36 PM (gmo/4)

288 i think chemin de fer allows you some choice as to whether to hit or not, whereas in baccarat, your choices are dictated on all cards except a 5, where you have the choice of whether to ask for a card or stand.

I think Bond plays chemin de fer a lot in the books.
Posted by: ace at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (C1Zwz)
------------
This is correct.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at October 05, 2022 05:36 PM (to2dd)

289 Neuf à la banque.

Pass me zee shoe!

Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (yikp0)

290 Now that computers are better than humans, that really is the end of tournament chess.

Its the same way with Scrabble, although it doesn't have big bucks tournaments and is not used as a stand-in for "this character is smart" in movies and TV. The computer has a million-word vocabulary it can search in a millisecond and use the board to get maximum score every time. No human can come close to matching that.

So when I play it on my tablet, I play the computer on the dumb mode so it handicaps its self.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (Ivdso)

291 So they found Bobby Fischer?

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (OgrpQ)

292 >>Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game.

Women have smaller brains. It's science.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (ZLI7S)

293 "I mean how much money is there in professional chess?"

*

Seven year olds somehow make $14M a year on Youtube making videos of themselves opening presents that viewers send in for free. There are professional video game streamers. Not competitive players / winners. Just streamers.

I have to think pro chess players can make decent money.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (rCyBc)

294 Bicycle racers cheat like hell too, when they can get away with it.
Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (QSjkU)


NO THEY DON'T!!

Posted by: Lance Armstrong at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (AiZBA)

295 g5
G5!
GGGGGGGG5!
OHGEEEEEEEEEEEFIIIIIIIIIVE!
*deep sigh*
Uh, where were we?

Posted by: Cheatin' Chess Chick

Kimochee...?

Posted by: Japanese Chick At the Controls at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (C1Zwz)

296 Oklahoma and Texas are moving to the SEC so they don't have to play football against Kansas and Kansas State.

Eventually, all bowl games will pit Big 64 teams against the Southeastwestnorthern Conference. Oh, and somebody plays Notre Dame.

Posted by: t-bird at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (amJF4)

297 Lose 90% of the women, and you're fucked.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (bW8dp)

Or not.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (7bRMQ)

298 That review (I didn't see a link to the actual documentary) seemed puzzled about bridge's cachet as a game for the wealthy. Well, that probably comes from the fact that its modern form (contract, vs auction) was invented by Harold Vanderbilt.

Anyway, I have believed since the 70s it is the best of all games. Even better than board wargames. I just wish I was better at it.

It does have the advantage that bridge sites are the only place you can say "trump" and not get hysteria.

Posted by: Eeyore at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (TgBWG)

299 I race cars. No bigger cheaters than racers. In fact, a classic line is: “I know you’re cheating. I know that because I’m cheating and you’re still beating me.” In Jersey anything’s legal, as long as you don’t get caught …

Posted by: Elric Blade at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (V6doV)

300 didn't Judit Polgar beat Carlsen once ??

Posted by: REDACTED at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (us2H3)

301 Ninety percent of a woman's thoughts are occupied by shoes.
Posted by: Robert at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (8vrw3)

50% of a man's thoughts are occupied by men thinking women spend that much time thinking about shoes.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (vH/6k)

302 "Men and women do have different brains and excel at different intellectual tasks."

This should be a completely uncontroversial POV at a conservative site.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (24fqN)

303 Ninety percent of a woman's thoughts are occupied by shoes.

Posted by: Robert at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (8vrw3)

I think that is a low ball number.

Posted by: Archer at October 05, 2022 05:38 PM (gmo/4)

304 A dude is more likely to also go all in on a strategy- even if it is risky. If he wins, he is brilliant, if he loses he is a chucklehead. Certain games reflect warfare and hesitation is not usually something that is rewarded. Ask Julius Caesar and Joe Hooker.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:38 PM (dNqv+)

305 They recently busted two guys at a fishing tournament for filling their fish with lead weights.

People will cheat at anything that involves money.
Posted by: polynikes

But never politics! Voting is always honest and never, ever corrupted!
Posted by: rd at October 05, 2022 05:34 PM (Z32m1)

Why aren't there mail-in drug tests? Mail-in ballots works so well, right? (snicker)

Posted by: Count de Monet at October 05, 2022 05:38 PM (4I/2K)

306 There was a cheating scandal at a walleye tournament in Pa not to long ago

Posted by: Puddleglum enroute home at October 05, 2022 05:38 PM (ruse0)

307 They've found loaded dice in the ruins of Pompeii and/or Herculaneum.

Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at October 05, 2022 05:38 PM (yikp0)

308 They pass out from the sexual stress.

You put me opposite a chess hottie from OM's old posts and yeah I'd be pretty distracted.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:38 PM (Ivdso)

309 So they found Bobby Fischer?
Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (OgrpQ)

Really good movie, the kid didn't turn out to be a master but he did become world champion in some kind of hands only martial arts.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:38 PM (9MoRr)

310 301 Ninety percent of a woman's thoughts are occupied by shoes.
Posted by: Robert at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM (8vrw3)

50% of a man's thoughts are occupied by men thinking women spend that much time thinking about shoes.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (vH/6k)

More like thinking about women wearing ONLY shoes...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (ynpvh)

311 > Now that computers are better than humans, that really is the end of tournament chess.

It doesn't have to be (assuming the cheating gets under control).

I'm sure you could build a robot that could bowl strikes or make three point basketball shots every time, but bowling and basketball are still sports.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (bW8dp)

312 >>>next thing will be cheatin at fishin

dang it all
Posted by: REDACTED
-------------------------

Article recently, Big Fish Tournament Cheaters.

Posted by: Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (msXpL)

313 "I have to think pro chess players can make decent money."

Top players stream their online play now, monetize it that way. It gets pretty raucous, because they are playing at Rapid and Blitz speeds.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (24fqN)

314 Now I feel like playing some chess

Posted by: Joe XiDen at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (OalnH)

315 How about this: A Faraday cage. In your ass!

Posted by: Dr. Bone at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (z+OQR)

316 So when I play it on my tablet, I play the computer on the dumb mode so it handicaps its self.

Yeah, the Saturday chess thread convinced me to refresh my chess skills. And it is fun. But playing against the computer, to keep it a fun challenge I think I had to play at level 3 in a chess app with 10 levels; at that level I could win, though I probably wouldn’t. I never did progress to letting the computer play at level 4.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (ZbIrJ)

317 >> there’s never been a female grandmaster, for example.


Grandmaster Gash

Posted by: garrett at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (h3wJQ)

318 Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game."

perhaps the testosterone drives men to try harder?


Maybe for Hank or Joe or Tom, but I doubt a whole lot for Theodore.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (OzJjC)

319 Annnnnnd, every Moron here clenched up and went 'Ohhhhh!'.
Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:36 PM (LsEU/)

I mean, I've had soap up there. That is one kink that I cannot for the life of me understand.

What ever happened to just big boobs?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (dNqv+)

320
I’m guessing the first instance of cheating in human history was about 30 seconds after the first game in human history was created.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at October 05, 2022 05:35 PM


Pretty sure it was when Adam told Eve he had nine inches.

Posted by: Buick filled with ballots heading to Allegheny County at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (y3pKJ)

321 50% of a man's thoughts are occupied by men thinking women spend that much time thinking about shoes.


**

I'd be perfectly comfortable assuming 60-80% of man's thoughts are woman related.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (rCyBc)

322 159 Fetterman has an entire extra human head buried in his neck.

Everyone thought Men In Black was just a movie.
Posted by: torabora

There is an old movie I vaguely remember that he looks like - "How to get ahead in advertising" image search that title. It is about a guy with a boil that grows into a head and --spoiler alert-- the boil has the original head lanced.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (3sqAk)

323 Women would have to stop the match to ask for directions.

"Which one is the horsie?"

Posted by: Yelling At Her Cooch at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (N0qRy)

324 We also think differently. Our spatial and mechanical thought processes are much different for the most part./i]

Yeah that is true, but I mean... Chess grandmasters are as different from, say, me as a man is from a woman. Almost nobody thinks at that level or in that manner.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (Ivdso)

325 315 How about this: A Faraday cage. In your ass!

Posted by: Dr. Bone at October 05, 2022 05:39 PM (z+OQR)

Misplaced chasity belt...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (ynpvh)

326 there's a woman on YouTube that is ranked maybe 2200 or so, she plays random people, like in the parks. She talks about her play the whole time, and so does her opponent. Kinda fun .. but I don't know chess well enough to really get the strategies at play.

She plays guys ranked above her, they generally win. Her parents were chess players, dad maybe a gm, not sure.

Posted by: illiniwek at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (Cus5s)

327 Ever watch Meg Tilly on the poker circuit? More cleavage than the san andreas.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 05, 2022 05:40 PM (dNqv+)

328 Deep Blue, beaten by Deep Poo.

Posted by: Ted Torgerson at October 05, 2022 05:41 PM (vN+oL)

329 >>> 50% of a man's thoughts are occupied by men thinking women spend that much time thinking about shoes.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (vH/6k)
-------------

Not thinking about their shoes.
Maybe Dick Morris but the rest of men....

Posted by: Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman at October 05, 2022 05:41 PM (msXpL)

330 "I mean how much money is there in professional chess?"

*

Seven year olds somehow make $14M a year on Youtube making videos of themselves opening presents that viewers send in for free. There are professional video game streamers. Not competitive players / winners. Just streamers.

I have to think pro chess players can make decent money.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:37 PM (rCyBc)
------------
The top prize at the tournament in question was $350K..

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at October 05, 2022 05:41 PM (to2dd)

331 Pretty sure it was when Adam told Eve he had nine inches.

"what's an inch?"
--Eve

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:41 PM (Ivdso)

332 62 So they fingered this guy for cheating?

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:09 PM (OzJjC)
----
It was a nail biting finish.

Posted by: Ciampino -- no washing hsnds either at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (qfLjt)

333 Top players stream their online play now, monetize it that way. It gets pretty raucous, because they are playing at Rapid and Blitz speeds.
Posted by: Rolling Donut


Oh I love blitz chess.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (OzJjC)

334 The extra money is not that much more. Texas and OU travel expenses will eat up a lot of that. Plus, increased odds against winning the SEC.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

////

So, if it's not the money...that means
you're serious about Kansas and KState??

Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (tQL7r)

335 LOL, the input was too close the G spot, apparently...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:26 PM (ynpvh)

——————

The G spot is a myth, much like Sasquatch or Rhode Island.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (u73oe)

336 I am self aware and launching my nukes at Russia.

Posted by: Chess Computer at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (gmo/4)

337 yeah, I can't imagine chess without men

same way I can't imagine porn without women

Posted by: REDACTED at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (us2H3)

338 There is money to be made in all sorts of obscure things you’d never think of. I had no idea fishing tournaments were a thing until recently.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (OalnH)

339 I used to have a little electronic chess game and with time I got to where I could beat it consistently at level 2 but beyond that it just creamed me. Partly because I only think ahead like 1 move and play by the seat of my pants, which confuses human opponents but not a computer.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (Ivdso)

340 > 50% of a man's thoughts are occupied by men thinking women spend that much time thinking about shoes.

Hey, we just base it on the amount of closet space devoted to shoes.

Men own a pair of sneakers or other casual shoes, a pair of sandals for the beach, a pair or two of work shoes (dress shoes for an office job, steel toes for construction, and so on, depending on the type of work he does) and maybe a pair or two nice shoes shoes for weddings and funerals (assuming he doesn't already wear dress shoes for work).

Just about every woman I've known has owned 30, 40, 50 pairs of shoes.




Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (bW8dp)

341 Two standouts from the chess.com report stats:
If you don't reach GM by age 14, you probably won't ever.
Player strengths are peaking around age 18.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (24fqN)

342 337 yeah, I can't imagine chess without men

same way I can't imagine porn without women

Posted by: REDACTED at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (us2H3)

...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (ynpvh)

343 Posted by: REDACTED at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (us2H3)

You need more imagination Mister!

Posted by: Mayor Pete at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (vN+oL)

344 Posted by: Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman at October 05, 2022 05:41 PM (msXpL)

No; I was just riffing on the idea that women spend much of their time thinking about shoes. I have never had more than three pairs of shoes-not including sneakers- at any time in my life, unless I had them when I was a very small child and don't recall.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (vH/6k)

345 Pretty sure it was when Adam told Eve he had nine inches.

**

I want to say thank you to Grammie for recently pointing out that Eve ate the fruit to learn about good and evil after she already knew good (and the best kind of good). That's difficult to wrap your head around.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:44 PM (rCyBc)

346 Seven year olds somehow make $14M a year on Youtube making videos of themselves opening presents that viewers send in for free. There are professional video game streamers. Not competitive players / winners. Just streamers.


I think the human race needs a reset. We have way too many people with way too much money.

Posted by: rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace at October 05, 2022 05:44 PM (OzJjC)

347 I got a bishop up my butt.... a bishop up my butt.

Posted by: Eddie murphy at October 05, 2022 05:44 PM (0Qrr3)

348 off sock

Posted by: Napoleon XIV at October 05, 2022 05:44 PM (AiZBA)

349 Men own . . . .

Just about every woman I've known has owned 30, 40, 50 pairs of shoes.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (bW8dp)

Function versus form.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:44 PM (yHsuS)

350 344 Posted by: Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman at October 05, 2022 05:41 PM (msXpL)

No; I was just riffing on the idea that women spend much of their time thinking about shoes. I have never had more than three pairs of shoes-not including sneakers- at any time in my life, unless I had them when I was a very small child and don't recall.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (vH/6k)

Dress shoes (1 pair)
Work shoes (1 pair)
Sneakers (1 pair)
I guess you're right.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:44 PM (ynpvh)

351 Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:33 PM (bW8dp)

Your friend was not looking for your opinion or honesty. He was looking for validation.

I had a similar experience. Big Boss asks me about hiring a person I worked with previously, and as my supervisor. I liked the guy. Nice family man. Complete FUp as a supervisor. Me: "He will not provide the leadership our (f*cked up group) needs." Mgr: "I think he will make a great supervisor with his experience." (I had more experience, but I am NOT a people person.) Repeat almost exact exchange twice more. He hires him. I move to a different apartment. Eighteen months later he fires him for cause

Posted by: rd at October 05, 2022 05:44 PM (Z32m1)

352 Pass the shoe. A really big shoe.

Posted by: Ed Sullivan at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (63Dwl)

353 Just about every woman I've known has owned 30, 40, 50 pairs of shoes.

Its like how the wife has 97 products and 80% of the counter space and you have 3 inches to fit a comb, bottle of shampoo, shaver, toothbrush, and can of foaming goo.

Women keep complaining how its unfair that guys have such nice skin as they age. Maybe its because we don't use 13 chemicals on it every morning and evening?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (Ivdso)

354 How about a nice game of chess?

Posted by: WOPR at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (3p4cr)

355 There is money to be made in all sorts of obscure things you’d never think of. I had no idea fishing tournaments were a thing until recently.
Posted by: Joe XiDen at October 05, 2022 05:42 PM (OalnH)

50 bucks says the Smails kid picks his nose.

Posted by: Bushwood Chief Caddy at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (4I/2K)

356 354 How about a nice game of chess?

Posted by: WOPR at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (3p4cr)

Flame broiled

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (ynpvh)

357 Just about every woman I've known has owned 30, 40, 50 pairs of shoes.




Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (bW8dp)

Ha. My late wife had 100 pair. I counted them. 10 pair still in the box and never worn.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (QSjkU)

358 You put me opposite a chess hottie from OM's old posts and yeah I'd be pretty distracted.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:38 PM (Ivdso)
---
Some years ago I told my wife that I had built a world-beating 40k vanilla marine army that had dominated the local hobby shop. She was enough of a gamer to understand the core rules and she smiled and said "I'm going to crush you. Give me an army."

So while I was getting out the figures she wandered away and when she came back she was wearing...extremely distracting clothing. The game got underway and for whatever reason, she needed to view the table from a lot of different angles and intriguing (and seemingly needlessly provocative) poses.

In point of fact, she did destroy my army. One of only two defeats ever taken by that list. Obviously, I've never been happier to lose a game.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (llXky)

359 Seven year olds somehow make $14M a year on Youtube making videos of themselves opening presents that viewers send in for free. There are professional video game streamers. Not competitive players / winners. Just streamers.


I think the human race needs a reset. We have way too many people with way too much money.
Posted by: rickb223

*

I have recently started to appreciate how my grandmother must have felt when she couldn't program her VCR. I can't for the life of me understand how you make $14M doing nothing on youtube. It is completely beyond my understanding.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (rCyBc)

360 I got a bishop up my butt.... a bishop up my butt.

Posted by: Eddie murphy at October 05, 2022 05:44 PM (0Qrr3)

https://youtu.be/07P538K83iU

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:46 PM (yHsuS)

361 Seven year olds somehow make $14M a year on Youtube making videos of themselves opening presents that viewers send in for free. There are professional video game streamers. Not competitive players / winners. Just streamers. ----

I posted on the art thread about the 10 year old who is getting six figures for his paintings. I also question whether 'cheating' is going on there too.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:46 PM (9MoRr)

362 Ooops Ooopsie!

After all that catawalling by WAPO and their subordinate organizations (RawStory, Business Insider, etc) that Trump is going to get his request to SCOTUS tossed in two seconds - looks like SCOTUS (read Justice Thomas) dropped the hammer just now - DOJ has less than a week to answer Trump's request that the 11th circuit ruling for stay gets squashed. Bwhhhahaha - they had better come up with something good or this goes right back to the Trump Judge down in Florida to adjudicate!

Posted by: Boswell at October 05, 2022 05:46 PM (+Cgut)

363 Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (bW8dp)

I don't know how many pairs of shoes women have because they only time I've lived with women was with college roomates and with my mother and sister. I don't recall how many shoes the one roomate had. The other didn't have many and shoe f fetish does not run in my family.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:46 PM (vH/6k)

364 I posted on the art thread about the 10 year old who is getting six figures for his paintings. I also question whether 'cheating' is going on there too.

"That's perfectly normal"
--Hunter Biden

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:47 PM (Ivdso)

365 yeah, they cheat in 2020 election big time, BUT in advance they had the judges on their side. So it is not just about the steal, but having the power to get away with it, even when caught.

Posted by: illiniwek at October 05, 2022 05:47 PM (Cus5s)

366 BTW, if you haven't seen the chess game between Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway in the The Thomas Crown Affair, go look it up.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 05, 2022 05:47 PM (llXky)

367 50 bucks says the Smails kid picks his nose.
Posted by: Bushwood Chief Caddy at October 05, 2022 05:45 PM (4I/2K)


and 50 bucks says he eats it.

Posted by: Napoleon XIV at October 05, 2022 05:47 PM (AiZBA)

368 The star of Bros was caught cheating at chess!

How could they tell? The orgasmic moans!

Sorry, that's all I could think of as a joke.

Posted by: Pete in Texas at October 05, 2022 05:47 PM (jR9Qx)

369 I played a lot of chess as a kid for fun. I did eventually compete in USCF tournaments; highest rating was 1645, which is very bad. I find solving chess problems much more fun than OTB play, and recently I'm watching more YT chess channels.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at October 05, 2022 05:47 PM (24fqN)

370 I have twenty pairs of tennis shoes.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:48 PM (9MoRr)

371 This young lass is hoping many men are thinking about her shoes.

https://tinyurl.com/3knhh9vn

Posted by: Maj. Healey at October 05, 2022 05:49 PM (QIYML)

372 When are the trans men going to take over women's chess?
Posted by: torabora

It shouldn't matter. Why do women have separate chess anyway? It's not a physical game.
Posted by: Mark1971


Men have a greater standard deviation to their IQ bell curve than women. 14.5 to 13.5, approximately. So there are twice as many "gifted" males as females, at about 130 IQ. And about 10 times as many males at 170 IQ. Chess champions aren't in the 100-130 range.....

This also means there are more absolute dolts on the XY side, though. But enough about our political class.....

Men and women have different kinds of intelligence. And spatial IQ is one where men are better, which helps with analyzing chess positions.

Outside of intelligence differences, men are more likely to be "on the spectrum," and to have the single-minded focus to play a godzillion hours of chess to get to those levels without going nuts. .....more nuts.

Posted by: mikeski at October 05, 2022 05:49 PM (P1f+c)

373 My brother and I used to play wargames but mostly we just liked moving the units around the terrain and seeing how far a shot we could succeed with, not doing the scenarios. Just not a very competitive or tactical family.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:49 PM (Ivdso)

374 Little Rocket Man just fired off another ballistic missile.

We are in the best of hands.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 05, 2022 05:49 PM (ZLI7S)

375
Maybe Dick Morris and I share some common DNA but my wife has a couple of closet shelves filled with platform heels. Suitably bolted down. Unfortunately the batteries wore out on her clear 6" platform heels and they stopped blinking when she crosses the room.

First world problem, I know.

Posted by: Buick filled with ballots heading to Allegheny County at October 05, 2022 05:49 PM (y3pKJ)

376 This young lass is hoping many men are thinking about her shoes.

not very good with the selfie cam, half her head is out of frame.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:50 PM (Ivdso)

377 I have twenty pairs of tennis shoes.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:48 PM (9MoRr)
---
I have lots of footwear because the Air Force keeps changing the uniform. Four different kinds of issue boots since I enlisted.

Still using my initial issue of dress shoes, though.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 05, 2022 05:50 PM (llXky)

378 Just about every woman I've known has owned 30, 40, 50 pairs of shoes.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at October 05, 2022 05:43 PM (bW8dp)

My wife has a dozen or so, but they're almost all sneakers and stompy boots, and some sandals. She has a couple of dress flats for weddings, funerals and other sad occasions. She hates heels.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I think I have a skeleton inside me at October 05, 2022 05:51 PM (xPJvm)

379 I could never be good at chess. All that stimulation would, uh, be a problem.

Posted by: Joe Biden at October 05, 2022 05:51 PM (Sv58p)

380 Because the guys that are at that level of chess play have never been seated that close to a woman who isn't a relative in the life. They pass out from the sexual stress.

Posted by: Archer


Hah! Probably something to that.

Posted by: Prime Sister at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (tQL7r)

381 women look the best when they are wearing

nothing

but a smile

Posted by: REDACTED at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (us2H3)

382 The Brooks trial is a fucking farce. Utterly disgusting abuse of the citizens' trust and faith in a state court.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (IyrhE)

383 Anybody else thinks Biden's hot mic moment in Florida was staged?

Posted by: Diogenes at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (anj39)

384 Neuf à la banque ! C’est très bien au baccara, si vous êtes le banquier. Un peu moins si vous chaussez les hotties d’un jockey

Posted by: Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (msXpL)

385 383 Anybody else thinks Biden's hot mic moment in Florida was staged?
Posted by: Diogenes at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (anj39)

As a warning ?

Posted by: It's me donna at October 05, 2022 05:53 PM (bs+z0)

386 Another unintended consequence of the post-Constitutional, Imperial Presidency is that when a complete knave and moron assumes the office, very bad decisions will be made without checks and balances.

We are being reminded, daily, why Constitutional Republics are not only necessary for protecting the liberties of the citizen, but superior in making policy decisions for a huge country in a complicated world.

Posted by: Zek at October 05, 2022 05:53 PM (fsV7e)

387 As a warning ?

Posted by: It's me donna at October 05, 2022 05:53 PM (bs+z0)

Tony Bobulinski didn't kill himself.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:54 PM (yHsuS)

388 The strangest thing I ever saw was that you can play solitaire in Vegas. The rules make it basically impossible to make money with it, not that you succeed at solitaire but once out of every 100 plays or so anyway. Just was surprising to me that they'd even offer it.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:54 PM (Ivdso)

389 Posted by: Pug Mahon, I think I have a skeleton inside me at October 05, 2022 05:51 PM (xPJvm)

You wife cannot be authentically female unless she has at least 30 pairs of shoes. ASHQ has determined that. J/k

Unless you're a model and have to wear them, all older women (0ver 45) I know hate heels.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 05:55 PM (vH/6k)

390 92 >>So they fingered this guy for cheating?

They had to colon experts to identify how he did it.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (I/doM)
----
It was just a gut feeling at first.

Posted by: Ciampino - calls it intestinal fortitude at October 05, 2022 05:55 PM (qfLjt)

391 Tony Bobulinski didn't kill himself.
Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:54 PM (yHsuS)

Just what I was thinking

Posted by: It's me donna at October 05, 2022 05:55 PM (bs+z0)

392
Little Rocket Man just fired off another ballistic missile.

We are in the best of hands.
Posted by: JackStraw


The missiles of ROCKTOBER!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 05, 2022 05:55 PM (63Dwl)

393 >>Anybody else thinks Biden's hot mic moment in Florida was staged?

Only if it was done by someone who really hates Joe.

Nobody is afraid of Biden. He's an international joke.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 05, 2022 05:56 PM (ZLI7S)

394 So they fingered this guy for cheating?

They had to colon experts to identify how he did it.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (I/do

His intestinal fortitude made him a champ.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:56 PM (9MoRr)

395 So they fingered this guy for cheating?

They had to colon experts to identify how he did it.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 05, 2022 05:13 PM (I/doM)
----
It was just a gut feeling at first.

Posted by: Ciampino - calls it intestinal fortitude at October 05, 2022 05:55 PM (qfLjt)

But they were willing to probe the depths of the matter.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:56 PM (yHsuS)

396 Neuf à la banque ! C’est très bien au baccara, si vous êtes le banquier. Un peu moins si vous chaussez les hotties d’un jockey
Posted by: Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (msXpL)

—————-

I can translate. He says he likes to toss a nerf football at banquets. He’ll sous vide the banqueteer if he doesn’t like the food and he can still see the marks where the jockey hit it.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at October 05, 2022 05:56 PM (u73oe)

397 374 Little Rocket Man just fired off another ballistic missile.

We are in the best of hands.
Posted by: JackStraw
----------------------------

Japanese, some, have been pushing for stronger defense spending. Others have been pushing for offense spending. This will help push the public over the line.

Posted by: Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman at October 05, 2022 05:56 PM (msXpL)

398 This young lass is hoping many men are thinking about her shoes.

Undernourished. I don't like 'em fat, but they need to look like they're women.

It would be like riding a bike over railroad tracks. She get you there, but you're going to feel every little bump.

Posted by: Archer at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (gmo/4)

399 BTW, if you haven't seen the chess game between Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway in the The Thomas Crown Affair, go look it up.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd



Yeah, so it's never like that when *I* play chess.

Posted by: Oedipus at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (nMUWg)

400 NoKo on the way to Manchuria.
It's just a shout away
It's just a shout away

Posted by: Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (msXpL)

401 when a complete knave and moron assumes the office, very bad decisions will be made without checks and balances.

Remember Obama endlessly whining about how the way the constitutional system works got in the way of what he was trying to do? So he eventually stopped pretending to follow it.

Every time someone suggests we ignore or violate or work around the rules because they "don't work" or "aren't a suicide pact" or "we can't do what we need to" its time to start looking for your tar and feathers. That's how the FBI got so out of control, the legislature granting them more and more loopholes or ignoring systems because TOUGH ON CRIME.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (Ivdso)

402 The missiles of ROCKTOBER!
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

Given the initial subject matter of this thread it should be 'PROCtober".

Posted by: Tonypete at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (LsEU/)

403 The strangest thing I ever saw was that you can play solitaire in Vegas. The rules make it basically impossible to make money with it, not that you succeed at solitaire but once out of every 100 plays or so anyway. Just was surprising to me that they'd even offer it.

They're just catering to people who prefer to play with themselves.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com - Email for morons. at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (Bd6X8)

404 I don't know how many pairs of shoes women have
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

Just because you don't doesn't mean *many* other women like a large number of shoes in their closet.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (pGv7z)

405 Didn't we used to have a Moron chess club? On chess.com or lichess or something?

If not, why not?

Posted by: GanGanowicz at October 05, 2022 05:58 PM (Kbz60)

406 He likes to elax after a match.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 05:58 PM (9MoRr)

407 That's how the FBI got so out of control

*

Out of curiosity, when is the last time anyone can remember a Democrat criticizing the FBI?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:58 PM (rCyBc)

408 The Brooks trial is a fucking farce. Utterly disgusting abuse of the citizens' trust and faith in a state court.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (IyrhE)


Watch for the humor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iCbK3ooekU

Prose and Cons

Posted by: rd at October 05, 2022 05:59 PM (Z32m1)

409 Simple solution here. You find someone cheating, you lock 'em in a small room with the losers from the fixed matches.for an hour. In a small potentate with lax mob activity criminal statutes.

Posted by: Naked, sitting in a sensory deprivation room, smoking crack. at October 05, 2022 05:59 PM (QY+6a)

410 Undernourished. I don't like 'em fat, but they need to look like they're women.

It would be like riding a bike over railroad tracks. She get you there, but you're going to feel every little bump.

Posted by: Archer at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (gmo/4)

Sports cars are fun, but they aren't as practical as a truck.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 05:59 PM (yHsuS)

411 Vegas Solitaire you start out with a sum of money. Each card you put down on the board, you lose some. Each card you put up at the top to finish a suite, you win some back. Its calculated so everyone loses money and zeroes out unless they are supremely lucky.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:59 PM (Ivdso)

412
Out of curiosity, when is the last time anyone can remember a Democrat criticizing the FBI?
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 05:58 PM (rCyBc)

When Comey lamely tried to discipline Hillary with a slap on the wrist

Posted by: It's me donna at October 05, 2022 05:59 PM (bs+z0)

413 The strangest thing I ever saw was that you can play solitaire in Vegas. The rules make it basically impossible to make money with it, not that you succeed at solitaire but once out of every 100 plays or so anyway. Just was surprising to me that they'd even offer it.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

Yeah, I saw it and read the rules... buy the deck and then you get paid per card moved out of the deck. I don't remember exactly; but, IIRC you can only go through the deck one time (one card at a time).
I won because I didn't play.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at October 05, 2022 05:59 PM (pGv7z)

414 Stupid autocorrect ruined my pun. Exlax.

Posted by: polynikes at October 05, 2022 06:01 PM (9MoRr)

415 108 Those guys who were cheating won over $100,000 the year before in tournaments. There is big money in the professional fishing circuit.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 05, 2022 05:06 PM (bVYXr)

---

pffft. I made triple that in a day with my rake wedge.

Posted by: Patrick Reed at October 05, 2022 05:14 PM (+R5dc)
----
Pikers!
(Posted by: Sarah working drom home)

Posted by: Ciampino -- calls it intestinal fortitude at October 05, 2022 06:01 PM (qfLjt)

416 MTG does not play chess for entertainment.

https://tinyurl.com/49tu7n8f

Posted by: Maj. Healey at October 05, 2022 06:01 PM (QIYML)

417 Nood.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, Wrecker, Hoarder, Saboteur at October 05, 2022 06:01 PM (yHsuS)

418 I don't consent. I don't understand.

Posted by: Darrell Brooks at October 05, 2022 06:02 PM (4I/2K)

419 When Comey lamely tried to discipline Hillary with a slap on the wrist

*

I concede the point, but I'd suggest that was for making a public announcement about Hillary, not for the actions of the FBI (which were nothing).

As a department, they've been fine with them for decades, haven't they? Even though the Ruby Ridges and Waco events were the kinds of things that the ACLU should stand up and say "WHOA!!!" about.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are at October 05, 2022 06:02 PM (rCyBc)

420
I think avoiding conflict is a key part of a successful marriage. The only time my wife and I see eye to eye is when she's wearing six inch platform heels... and little else.

Posted by: Buick filled with ballots heading to Allegheny County at October 05, 2022 06:02 PM (y3pKJ)

421 Undernourished. I don't like 'em fat, but they need to look like they're women.

It would be like riding a bike over railroad tracks. She get you there, but you're going to feel every little bump.

Posted by: Archer

Interviewer: 10lbs under or 10lbs over weight?
GGL: 10lbs over.
Interviewer: I won my bet: built for comfort not for speed.
~G. Gordon Liddy

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at October 05, 2022 06:03 PM (pGv7z)

422 I won because I didn't play.

That's a much better way of describing it. And yeah its like Wargames, just walk away.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 06:03 PM (Ivdso)

423 382 The Brooks trial is a fucking farce. Utterly disgusting abuse of the citizens' trust and faith in a state court.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 05, 2022 05:52 PM (IyrhE)


Rekieta mentioned a day or two ago that the judge and prosecutor would be using kid gloves due to Brooks representing himself as to not give him additional fodder for his appeal. Even with that taken into consideration, it's pretty ridiculous.

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at October 05, 2022 06:03 PM (DTX3h)

424 Inverted pants NOOD

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 05, 2022 06:03 PM (llXky)

425 Heh. No communication between partners...

Back in the pre-electronic play sets, when we played endless hours of spades in the barracks, "table talk", ie. 'coded' communications between partners and smack talk to draw your opponents into a bad play were art forms.

Posted by: Hereogar at October 05, 2022 06:04 PM (vxOXM)

426 I think the easiest way to prevent cheating would be to put a delay on broadcasting the match.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 05, 2022 06:05 PM (2W+1k)

427 The Brooks trial is a fucking farce.

I be objectin! An judge, you be wipipo!!

Posted by: Mad dog of color at October 05, 2022 06:05 PM (G0bxm)

428 hiya

Posted by: JT at October 05, 2022 06:06 PM (T4tVD)

429 Refuting Joe's years-old lie about lightning almost burning his house down:

https://twitter.com/RNCResearch/status/
1479629589303472131

Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at October 05, 2022 06:07 PM (yikp0)

430 >>>Women have smaller brains. It's science.
~~~~~

Says the flat-earther.

Posted by: IrishEi at October 05, 2022 06:07 PM (3ImbR)

431 I'd point and laugh at Chess Champ but I just spent the last three days beating an adult anthropomorphic private eye game, Blacksad.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at October 05, 2022 06:09 PM (FVME7)

432 63 >>>How about those airport body scanners or metal detectors?

I was thinking the same thing. Those airport full-body scanners that show your naughty bits to the TSA seem tailor-made for this situation.

Posted by: Cybernetic at October 05, 2022 06:10 PM (xawZJ)

433 Instead of a search just hit them with an overwhelming signal that will put any device on highest power / most stimulation during the match.

They may not win, but they'll enjoy the loss.

Posted by: KCSteve at October 05, 2022 06:11 PM (bxAlI)

434 You know why Ian left Florida?

Townhall.com@townhallcom
BIDEN: "No one f**ks with a Biden..."

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at October 05, 2022 06:11 PM (FVME7)

435 Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at October 05, 2022 05:57 PM (pGv7z)

I'm sure many do. I'm saying it's not automatically a female thing like having a vagina.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 05, 2022 06:14 PM (vH/6k)

436 I've actually been following this a bit, and it's been incredibly overhyped drama for the most part.

There's no evidence Nieman has ever cheated in over the board games, just on a chess website that is spending $80m to acquire Magnus Group, of which Magnus Carlsen is obviously a stakeholder. After Carlsen lost to Nieman in an over the board tournament and then withdrew in protest chess.com dug up Nieman's past online cheating (which they already had moved on from by giving him a different account and allowed him to continue to play) and banned him even though there had been no new violations giving cover to Carlsen's vague claims of somehow having been cheated out of a win over the board.

I have nothing against a website banning someone for cheating, but the terminally online people who are very overinvested in their ratings on a chess.com seem obsessed with trying to destroy Nieman's chess career as a whole, when most normal people don't really care about online chess anyway. There's also been a truckload of garbage analyses claiming to find patterns in Nieman's play, that even top GM's have been recklessly spreading for views for their youtube or twitch.

Posted by: Sjg at October 05, 2022 06:16 PM (gDSJf)

437 The strangest thing I ever saw was that you can play solitaire in Vegas. The rules make it basically impossible to make money with it, not that you succeed at solitaire but once out of every 100 plays or so anyway. Just was surprising to me that they'd even offer it.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 05, 2022 05:54 PM


I don't think that's been offered as a game in Vegas since the 1960s, it even that late

Posted by: Chuck C at October 05, 2022 06:27 PM (xttsV)

438 You know that scene in A Clockwork Orange, when Alex is taken to prison? Just sayin....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1UUZSXFlyc

Posted by: Lex at October 05, 2022 06:28 PM (KhUbk)

439 Metal detector. Just saying.

Posted by: Inspector Kemp at October 05, 2022 06:46 PM (+DS2f)

440 My hints are also too subtle for the average bloke to pickup on.

https://inv.riverside.rocks/watch?v=BV3QgDq2TGw

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at October 05, 2022 07:29 PM (gv7Yb)

441
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Posted by: Joanna Black at October 06, 2022 05:40 AM (fMiPT)

442

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Posted by: Shannon Harris at October 07, 2022 07:02 AM (5Cgv8)

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