Depp Proves Defamation, With Malice, Against Amber Turd; $10 Million in Compensatory Damages, $5 Million in Punitive Damages Jury Finds One Count of Defamation Against Johnny Depp for $2 Million

Depp Proves Defamation, With Malice, Against Amber Turd; $10 Million in Compensatory Damages, $5 Million in Punitive Damages
Jury Finds One Count of Defamation Against Johnny Depp for $2 Million

"She really shit the bed," Jonathan Turley remarked.

No he didn't.

"She crapped out," noted Alan Derschowitz.

No he didn't.

The jury has rejected one of Amber Turd's counter-suit allegations, but finds that another statement is defamatory and also made with actual malice.

The statement which was found to be defamatory was this one, published in the April 27 2020 online edition of the Daily Mail, apparently made by Depp's former lawyer Adam Waldron: "This was an ambush, a hoax. They set Mr. Depp up by calling the cops, but the first attempt did not do the trick. The officers came to the penthouses, thoroughly searched and interviewed, and left after finding no damage to face or property so Amber and her friends and spilled a little wine and roughed the place up, got their story straight under the direction a lawyer and a publicist and placed a second call to 911."

So the jury is saying that this second statement, alleging some kind of organized ambush and hoax and set-up, was defamatory.

The jury found the statement was made at the direction of Depp so they found him to be the one liable for it.

The five million in punitive damages the jury awarded Depp was reduced to $350,000, because Virginia law caps punitive damages at that level.

I think the jury was sending Amber Turd a message in awarding her a " " " deuce " " " in damages on Count Number Two.

Coincidence?

Or Respecc?

Amber Turd issues statement:

She also posted a picture of a brownloaf on an ottoman.

Johnny Depp's statement:

Posted by: Ace at 02:58 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Probably not first.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 02:57 PM (Y5qcH)

2 Afternoon.

Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 02:57 PM (hYXVU)

3 >>>Supposegly.

-------
I'm pretty sure it's 'supposably'

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 02:58 PM (VJsqe)

4 Supposegly

Yes, supposegly.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at June 01, 2022 02:58 PM (ppBhU)

5 I've still got a green light.

Can someone come here and make these guys start loading me?

Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 02:58 PM (hYXVU)

6 Makers Mark at the ready!

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 02:58 PM (4I/2K)

7 Supposegedly

========

Strategery.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 02:58 PM (LvTSG)

8 4 Supposegly

Yes, supposegly.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at June 01, 2022 02:58 PM (ppBhU)

-------
Ah! You read the content too!

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 02:58 PM (VJsqe)

9 Hope they both lose.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 02:58 PM (v0R5T)

10 This verdict will be nuke-u-ler.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 02:59 PM (4I/2K)

11 I could have sworn the word was suposabubly.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 02:59 PM (Y5qcH)

12 I would prefer to just give each of them a 12 gage with buckshot and stand 10 paces apart.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at June 01, 2022 02:59 PM (QSjkU)

13 So did Ace start drinking early today?

Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 02:59 PM (hYXVU)

14 >>>9 Hope they both lose.

I don't like Johnny Depp for nothin', but I don't like fake #MeToo claims, or the industry that promotes and protects them, even more.

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 02:59 PM (AkbRF)

15 Sorry this is one of these things, I have sacrificed knowing about. Just here for the top 10.

Posted by: Picric at June 01, 2022 02:59 PM (13tTk)

16 My disinterest in this particular clown show cannot be measured.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (xPJvm)

17 Ok top 20.

Posted by: Picric at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (13tTk)

18 i think Turd will win, she has the far, far lighter burden.

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (AkbRF)

19 I hope this isn't a shitty thread...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (ynpvh)

20 The real loser of this trial is us, as Americans.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (Y5qcH)

21 18 i think Turd will win, she has the far, far lighter burden.
Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (AkbRF)

========

Is this about her brains?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (LvTSG)

22 I don't like Johnny Depp for nothin', but I don't like fake #MeToo claims, or the industry that promotes and protects them, even more.

Yeah, to say a brush-back pitch is needed here is an understatement.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (ppBhU)

23 My wife pronounces it supposively. She's so cute.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (xPJvm)

24 Two Andrews and an Andrea...wit?

Here we go.

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at June 01, 2022 03:01 PM (ufFY8)

25 Jury coming in

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:01 PM (4I/2K)

26 Or mebbe give each one a 12 inch Bowie and into a pickle barrel....

Posted by: Xipe Totec at June 01, 2022 03:01 PM (QSjkU)

27 Okay, court will not tolerate any outbursts, got it.

-watching Nicky Racket's livestream.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:01 PM (Rl7KJ)

28 She does not look as good in that thumbnail as she did in The Informers.

Posted by: spindrift at June 01, 2022 03:01 PM (h5TKJ)

29 Watching the Rittenhouse verdict was very moving.

I do not hope for movements in this verdict reading.

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (VJsqe)

30 LOL the POPE hat

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (dKiJG)

31 29 Watching the Rittenhouse verdict was very moving.

I do not hope for movements in this verdict reading.
Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (VJsqe)

=========

This is a reference to poop.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (LvTSG)

32 I haven't been keeping track, but apparently this judge is the anti-Judge Ito? *shrugs*

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (Rl7KJ)

33 Wouldn't want to be a juror on this shitty case.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (ynpvh)

34 It was probably a mistake to marry someone whose age difference was 22 years.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (l7p9i)

35 i think Turd will win, she has the far, far lighter burden.

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (AkbRF)

Well, she did lighten her load.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (nByzo)

36 My wife pronounces it supposively. She's so cute.
Posted by: Pug Mahon

My wife cannot pronounce 'window sill'. It's 'windowseal'.

Drives me batty. She says I have my faults too.

Nah! Couldn't be!

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (Msys3)

37 The world breathlessly awaits yet another bit of trivia, when Bai-Den and his masters are busy destroying American Civilization.

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (hOUT3)

38 I like Johnny Depp, he's made a number of films I've liked quite a lot, it's a shame what drugs, alcohol and loose women have done to him.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (wx784)

39 Guilty!

Posted by: Federal Justice Roland Freisler at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (RQN3O)

40 Hawaiian Judge and DC Jury find Trump liable.

Posted by: Anti-Faucist at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (TKZuJ)

41 If the shit fits, you must acquit!

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (Y5qcH)

42 34 It was probably a mistake to marry someone whose age difference was 22 years.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (l7p9i)

Dick Van Dyke's wife is about 40 years younger than he.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (ynpvh)

43 Judge Sharkman Presiding:

"I've reached my verdict. I find that both Plaintiff and Defendant are useless Hollywood slime who have wasted the attentions of the nation with their silly arguments and serial lies.

I dismiss all claims and counterclaims with prejudice and with costs of each party paid by that party.

Further, I order the immediate seizure of all assets of both Plaintiff and Defendant, and order the Bailiff to take Plaintiff and Defendant into custody and to immediately crucify them on the steps of the Courthouse.

It is so ordered, adjudged and decreed.

/s/

Judge Sharkman"

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (zrlG8)

44 Amber Turd has that pained perseverance face ON LOCK

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (AkbRF)

45 May YouTube superchat revenue generated by three channels covering it live:

Emily D Baker - $232,000
Legal Bytes - $199,000
Rekieta Law - $143,000

Posted by: Mark1971 at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (xPl2J)

46 lol, the jury fucked up.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (Rl7KJ)

47 41 If the shit fits, you must acquit!

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (Y5qcH)

in this case, probably the other way.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (ynpvh)

48 uh oh

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (AkbRF)

49 Jury fucked up the verdict forms. Sent back to redo them

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (4I/2K)

50 Dick Van Dyke's wife is about 40 years younger than he.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (ynpvh)

Everyone in America is 40 years younger than he.

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (BJKQV)

51 I'm not expecting it to be the kind of event that bowels us over.

Posted by: Axeman at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (OaZlZ)

52 Dick Van Dyke's wife is about 40 years younger than he.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

Well, when she's a beard and he's gayer than Liberace, that's not that big a deal.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (zrlG8)

53 We just got verticucked -Nick Rekieta

Posted by: Methos at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (kOpft)

54 49 Jury fucked up the verdict forms. Sent back to redo them
Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (4I/2K)

==========

"Man, juries sure are dumb. I'm so happy they got the Sussman verdict right, though."
-Leftist

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (LvTSG)

55 37 The world breathlessly awaits yet another bit of trivia, when Bai-Den and his masters are busy destroying American Civilization.

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (hOUT3)

"Her shit could've been my son!"-Joey Biden

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (ynpvh)

56 i think Turd will win, she has the far, far lighter burden.

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 03:00 PM (AkbRF)

Hmm. I didn't think she would win her part. But I have paid precious little attention here.

Posted by: Kamala at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (bbAHh)

57 My wife cannot pronounce 'window sill'. It's 'windowseal'.
Drives me batty. She says I have my faults too.
Nah! Couldn't be!

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (Msys3)

In WNY the offensive pronunciation is:

ASHPHALT

No, you dipshits...it's asphalt...ASS, not ASH.

Posted by: Bill Cowher at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (BgMrQ)

58 Where's Johnny?

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (jYQlA)

59 LMAO

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (ufFY8)

60 Jury fucked up the verdict forms. Sent back to redo them

Posted by: Count de Monet

That tells you all you need to know about American justice as of today.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (lTGtQ)

61 I'm sure this will be a welcome distraction from the ongoing destruction of Western Civilization.

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (c/0XQ)

62 I'm not expecting it to be the kind of event that bowels us over.
Posted by: Axeman

We'll have to find some stools if that is the case.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (Msys3)

63 Screw Legal Bytes she banned the DUI guy from her stream because he made a face court room

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (dKiJG)

64 It was probably a mistake to marry someone whose age difference was 22 years.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (l7p9i)

Big tits can overcome any age gap.

Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (hYXVU)

65 Suppositorily.

Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (lKAqb)

66 Haven't listened to any of the trial but why do I get the sense that the jury comes back with

"You both are disturbing individuals. What we've heard are some of the most insanely idiotic things we have ever heard. At no point in both your rambling, incoherent responses were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (G0vdT)

67 Someone defamed a turd!!!

How dare they!!! Blatant antifecalism!!!!

The sewers will riot tonight, you antipode bastards!!!

Posted by: Shit at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (OK0YZ)

68 However this comes out of should be cathartic for all.

Posted by: Axeman at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (OaZlZ)

69 57 My wife cannot pronounce 'window sill'. It's 'windowseal'.
Drives me batty. She says I have my faults too.
Nah! Couldn't be!
Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (Msys3)

In WNY the offensive pronunciation is:

ASHPHALT
No, you dipshits...it's asphalt...ASS, not ASH.
Posted by: Bill Cowher at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (BgMrQ)

I use window seal on the window sill...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (ynpvh)

70 Jury fucked up the verdict forms. Sent back to redo them

Posted by: Count de Monet

Judge Sharkman has been reading way too much about ancient Rome, and accordingly orders the Jury to be crucified immediately as well.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (zrlG8)

71 So, it SEEMS that somebody is guilty of defamation.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (ufFY8)

72 Big tits can overcome any age gap.
Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (hYXVU)

-------
Is this about me?

Posted by: Bill Gates at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (VJsqe)

73 I need to AXE you about the ambu-LANCE.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (jYQlA)

74 Uh-oh, we've been "verdic*cked," as Rickieta says. They didn't fill out the forms correctly. They did not fill out the amount of compensatory damages to be awarded for defamatory statements.

But, what we can presume from this is that the jury did in fact find some defamatory statements for which compensation must be awarded. Otherwise, the judge wouldn't care that the lines regarding compensatory damages had been left blank.

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (AkbRF)

75 /off Stillers coach sock

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (BgMrQ)

76 Dick Van Dyke's wife is about 40 years younger than he.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (ynpvh)

Everyone in America is 40 years younger than he.
Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (BJKQV)

Penis Van Lesbian... isn't he dead?

Posted by: BurtTC at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (4GCQl)

77 64 It was probably a mistake to marry someone whose age difference was 22 years.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (l7p9i)

Especially since she wasn't even house trained.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (UuD2k)

78 Oh. That little girl in 56 was me.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (bbAHh)

79 71 So, it SEEMS that somebody is guilty of defamation.
Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (ufFY

=========

Since this is a trial about whether Heard was defamatory of Depp, not the other way around, I think there's a safe bet about who it is who's guilty.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (LvTSG)

80 61 I'm sure this will be a welcome distraction from the ongoing destruction of Western Civilization.
Posted by: Shooter McGavin at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (c/0XQ)

Man cannot live by bread alone. He also requires circuses.

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (BJKQV)

81 Honestly, I think they are both nuts, and need help. I hope the jury awards them $1 each.

Posted by: spypeach at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (eWCZe)

82 62 I'm not expecting it to be the kind of event that bowels us over.
Posted by: Axeman

We'll have to find some stools if that is the case.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (Msys3)

Well, hopefully she can take something that softens it

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (ynpvh)

83 Wait, Dick Van Dyke smokes pole?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (V6f9+)

84 74 Uh-oh, we've been "verdic*cked," as Rickieta says. They didn't fill out the forms correctly. They did not fill out the amount of compensatory damages to be awarded for defamatory statements.

But, what we can presume from this is that the jury did in fact find some defamatory statements for which compensation must be awarded. Otherwise, the judge wouldn't care that the lines regarding compensatory damages had been left blank.

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (AkbRF)

=========

I've read this somewhere else before...

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (LvTSG)

85 Stupid bailiff didn't look at the forms?

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (ufFY8)

86 I don't like Johnny Depp for nothin', but I don't like fake #MeToo claims, or the industry that promotes and protects them, even more.

Posted by: ace, fart-bragging at June 01, 2022 02:59 PM (AkbRF)

Same here. I hope the jury rubs her nose in it.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (nByzo)

87 Jury fucked up the verdict forms. Sent back to redo them
Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (4I/2K)
..........

Brainiacs.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (v0R5T)

88 antipode = antipoop

You h8terz wouldn't even write poop!!!

Fuck you autocucumber! Fuuuuuck yoooooouuu!

Posted by: Shit at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (OK0YZ)

89 Can the jury award themselves compensatory damages for having to waste their time on this?

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (UuD2k)

90 I need to AXE you about the ambu-LANCE.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty

It's parked outside the baffroom.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (Msys3)

91 11 I could have sworn the word was suposabubly.

Suppository?

Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (qfLjt)

92 Judge Sharkman has been reading way too much about ancient Rome, and accordingly orders the Jury to be crucified immediately as well.
Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (zrlG

Channeling Zod I see...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (BgMrQ)

93 Penis Van Lesbian... isn't he dead?
Posted by: BurtTC at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (4GCQl)

Nope.

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (BJKQV)

94 76 Dick Van Dyke's wife is about 40 years younger than he.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:03 PM (ynpvh)

Everyone in America is 40 years younger than he.
Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:04 PM (BJKQV)

Penis Van Lesbian... isn't he dead?

Posted by: BurtTC at June 01, 2022 03:06 PM (4GCQl)

Not yet.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (ynpvh)

95 It was probably a mistake to marry someone whose age difference was 22 years.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (l7p9i)

Big tits can overcome any age gap.
Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (hYXVU)

*fistbump* Anna Nicole had her some bigguns.

Posted by: Zombie J. Howard Marshall, petroleum tycoon at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (4I/2K)

96 That tells you all you need to know about American justice as of today.
Posted by: Thomas Paine at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (lTGtQ)

And quite a bit about the state of American edumacation as well!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (hOUT3)

97 Johnny Deep won 1 dollar, which won't even by a shot of rum, whiskey, whatever in Tortuga.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (Rl7KJ)

98 I've liked quite a lot, it's a shame what drugs, alcohol and loose women have done to him.

The rest of the money I wasted.

Posted by: Just The Punch Line! at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (I2/tG)

99
Where liquor in a mug
Can warm you like a hug
And happiness is
Just a Flaming Moe away

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (NjBVB)

100 83 Wait, Dick Van Dyke smokes pole?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (V6f9+)

-------
I believe he refers to it as chim-chim-cheroot

Posted by: Bill Gates at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (VJsqe)

101 "I'm supposed to be judged by a jury of my peers, and not ONE of you is a bed-shitter! I move for a mistrial!"

(and as a completely unrelated tidbit, "mist" is German for "shit")

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (6FeV1)

102 The suspense is killing my sister-in-law, who voted for Biden.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (v0R5T)

103 Big tits can overcome any age gap.
Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (hYXVU)

But not speed bumps.

Posted by: Nanzi at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (nByzo)

104 88 antipode = antipoop

You h8terz wouldn't even write poop!!!

Fuck you autocucumber! Fuuuuuck yoooooouuu!

Posted by: Shit at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (OK0YZ)

Aussies most offended by the antipode comment.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (ynpvh)

105 Since this is a trial about whether Heard was defamatory of Depp, not the other way around, I think there's a safe bet about who it is who's guilty.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (LvTSG)

No. Heard filed a counterclaim, and both complaints were rolled into the proceedings. So, the jury had to decide if Depp defamed Amber. That is what all the Waldman statements were about.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (ufFY8)

106 >>>78 Oh. That little girl in 56 was me.

scweeenname!!!

Posted by: Kamala Harris at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (AkbRF)

107 Related 💩:
Taco Bell: Come For The Diarrhea, Stay For The Drag Show
Taco Bell is hoping that attention-deprived, lip-synching chicks with d***s will help you get that breakfast burrito down.

The Taco Bell Drag Brunch show is hitting the road and delivering taped weiners and gyrating man-hips to a Taco Bell Cantina (they have booze) location near you if you live in Chicago, Nashville, Fort Lauderdale, Las Vegas, and New York City, through the months of May and June.

Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (yikp0)

108 They can't figure out the forms, but I'm sure the jury is competent to understand to render a proper verdict.

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (BJKQV)

109 I haz take baff??

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (jYQlA)

110 My wife cannot pronounce 'window sill'. It's 'windowseal'.
Drives me batty. She says I have my faults too.
Nah! Couldn't be!
Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (Msys3)

My wife and I have regular seminars on correct pronunciation of the American 'R'
This is a difficult sound for ESL speakers.

If you want fun, ask a Spanish speaker who is learning English to pronounce "Squirrel"

Posted by: Kindltot at June 01, 2022 03:10 PM (xhaym)

111 95 It was probably a mistake to marry someone whose age difference was 22 years.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (l7p9i)

Big tits can overcome any age gap.
Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 03:05 PM (hYXVU)

*fistbump* Anna Nicole had her some bigguns.

Posted by: Zombie J. Howard Marshall, petroleum tycoon at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (4I/2K)

she knew how to carry her weight

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:10 PM (ynpvh)

112 I have confidence in the jury system and the luminous genius's sitting in the jury box, said nobody ever.

Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:10 PM (OTvdu)

113 Stupid bailiff didn't look at the forms?

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (ufFY

Cannot discriminate against the illiterate in hiring for language intensive legal positions!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at June 01, 2022 03:10 PM (hOUT3)

114 At this point Dick Van Dyke probably just needs a nursemaid so the age doesn't matter but if you want someone to talk to when you aren't playing with her big t*** it's probably better to have someone who can relate to similar life experiences.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 01, 2022 03:10 PM (cahtY)

115
Since this is a trial about whether Heard was defamatory of Depp, not the other way around, I think there's a safe bet about who it is who's guilty.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

As you know what it's about you obviously have followed this suit much too closely.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (JzBU4)

116 97 Johnny Deep won 1 dollar, which won't even by a shot of rum, whiskey, whatever in Tortuga.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (Rl7KJ)

He could always try piracy

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (ynpvh)

117 I need to AXE you about the ambu-LANCE.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty

It's parked outside the baffroom.
Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM (Msys3)
---
At the liberry, I take it.

Posted by: Axeman at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (OaZlZ)

118 My wife cannot pronounce 'window sill'. It's 'windowseal'.
Drives me batty. She says I have my faults too.
Nah! Couldn't be!
Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (Msys3)

I guess I don't get how those two sound any different.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (sI15f)

119 To be fair to the jury, they may have wanted to award nothing, but to stand up and say there was defamation.

Or, the foreperson screwed up...

Posted by: Nova local at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (exHjb)

120 58 Where's Johnny?
________

Giving concerts in the U.K.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (MvHI3)

121 Upper-decker for all jury members.

Posted by: Amber Heard at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (gZgHO)

122 The picture above is, no joke, the very first time I have seen a picture of Amber Heard.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (5p7BC)

123 Stupid bailiff didn't look at the forms?

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:07 PM

No. That's not his job.

Posted by: Chuck C at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (hOAT3)

124 The jury was hoping to get to Applebees early.

Posted by: TexasDan at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (z9npv)

125 The Taco Bell Drag Brunch show is hitting the road and delivering taped weiners and gyrating man-hips to a Taco Bell Cantina (they have booze) location near you if you live in Chicago, Nashville, Fort Lauderdale, Las Vegas, and New York City, through the months of May and June.
Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (yikp0)

Out: Crappy Tacos
New: Shitty Hot Dogs

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (6FeV1)

126 This is why we need a professional class of credentialed jurors.

Posted by: Your Elites, now with even more elite at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (a3Q+t)

127 Ryan Saavedra
@RealSaavedra
·
22m
June is also PTSD awareness month, which the U.S. Marines have not yet tweeted about.

[but they have tweeted about gay pride]

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (BJKQV)

128 The judge should sentence them to have to live together, forever.

A fit and just punishment, for both.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (QzJWU)

129 @110

>>If you want fun, ask a Spanish speaker who is learning English to pronounce "Squirrel"

Even funnier is to ask an Asian speaker to pronounce Lollipop.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (wx784)

130 108 They can't figure out the forms, but I'm sure the jury is competent to understand to render a proper verdict.

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (BJKQV)

"Nobody said ANYTHIN' 'Bout rendin someones dick!"-juror

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (ynpvh)

131 However this comes out of should be cathartic for all.
Posted by: Axeman

pinching a loaf with a growler for effect is satisfying.

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (UgAdJ)

132 Yeah, even when it's appropriate, drawing a dick in the blanks on a jury form is frowned upon. Stuffy old legal system.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (ppBhU)

133 Intestinal fortitude is needed here but keep some Depends handy.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (qfLjt)

134 I was going to comment on Depp's choice of women. But then I looked down at the fork scars on my chest.

Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (OTvdu)

135 ven funnier is to ask an Asian speaker to pronounce Lollipop.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (wx784)

Parallelogram.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (UuD2k)

136 110 My wife cannot pronounce 'window sill'. It's 'windowseal'.
Drives me batty. She says I have my faults too.
Nah! Couldn't be!
Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (Msys3)

My wife and I have regular seminars on correct pronunciation of the American 'R'
This is a difficult sound for ESL speakers.

If you want fun, ask a Spanish speaker who is learning English to pronounce "Squirrel"
Posted by: Kindltot at June 01, 2022 03:10 PM (xhaym)

CH and SH are a bit of a shibboleth as well.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (ynpvh)

137 I intentionally say greazy instead of greasy because it pisses my wife off.

I'm not a smart man.

Posted by: Bill Gates at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (VJsqe)

138 I guess I don't get how those two sound any different.
Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (sI15f)

One rhymes with "ill", the other rhymes with "eel". Unless you're a communist.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (6FeV1)

139 125 The Taco Bell Drag Brunch show is hitting the road and delivering taped weiners and gyrating man-hips to a Taco Bell Cantina (they have booze) location near you if you live in Chicago, Nashville, Fort Lauderdale, Las Vegas, and New York City, through the months of May and June.
Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM (yikp0)

Out: Crappy Tacos
New: Shitty Hot Dogs
Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (6FeV1)

So we really are living in a dirty port-a-potty.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (sI15f)

140 >>>38 I like Johnny Depp, he's made a number of films I've liked quite a lot, it's a shame what drugs, alcohol and loose women have done to him.

i've barely ever liked him. I did like him in the pirates movie. he was okay in Secret Window. He's generally pretty annoying to me.

Posted by: Kamala Harris at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (AkbRF)

141 Channeling Zod I see...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard

ZOD is a fluffy little kitty cat compared to Judge Sharkman when he gets his blood up about the "legal" "system".

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (zrlG8)

142 I couldn't even begin to tell you the absolute depths to which I very seriously don't care about the sordid tales between these two. I just can't summon the energy to care.

Posted by: banana Dream at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (YsjiM)

143 [but they have tweeted about gay pride]
Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (BJKQV)

Sigh. It is always about the butt fvcking.
Sick.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (ufFY8)

144 The picture above is, no joke, the very first time I have seen a picture of Amber Heard.
Posted by: Dave in Fla at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (5p7BC)

I was this morning years old when I learned that she was the hot neighbor chick who turned zombie on Eisenberg in the beginning of Zombieland.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (4I/2K)

145 Surrorosedry.

I'm still so ronery

Posted by: Fat boy Kim at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (z9npv)

146 Since this is a trial about whether Heard was defamatory of Depp, not the other way around, I think there's a safe bet about who it is who's guilty.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison
________

That's only half of it.

Depp sued Heard for $100 for defaming him (in the WaPo piece saying she was a victim of domestic violence), and Heard counter-sued Depp for $50 million for defaming her (by publicly denying her claims of abuse).

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (MvHI3)

147 124 The jury was hoping to get to Applebees early.
Posted by: TexasDan at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (z9npv)

Not to worry, chemjeff will keep their seats warm for them...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (BgMrQ)

148 Johnny Deep won 1 dollar,
.......

and Amber was awarded a roll of TP

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (v0R5T)

149 Obligatory "supposably" clip:

https://youtu.be/5z0Gitlj9bM

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (jYQlA)

150 I liked Benny and Joon. That's about it I think.

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (BJKQV)

151 all y'all need to warsh out ya mouf.

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (UgAdJ)

152 138 I guess I don't get how those two sound any different.
Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (sI15f)

One rhymes with "ill", the other rhymes with "eel". Unless you're a communist.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (6FeV1)

Not a communist but I am Southern and I say those two sounds exactly alike. I'm sure my coworker is getting a kick out of me mouthing them to make sure.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (sI15f)

153 Thank God this trial is almost over. That'll give us time to prep the sets for the Uvalde murders.

Posted by: Court TV at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (aXxgO)

154 I was going to comment on Depp's choice of women. But then I looked down at the fork scars on my chest.
Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (OTvdu)

Is that how let it be known that you were done?

Posted by: Kindltot at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (xhaym)

155 It's really cute when an attractive Hispanic woman calls me Teem, instead of Tim.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (eGTCV)

156 Costello: hey, Abbott, look at that big bunch of cows!
Abbott: Heard.
Costello: Heard what?
Abbott: Heard of cows
Costello: yeah, I heard of cows, there's a big bunch of them!

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (Ynyl9)

157 Is the moron who thinks lying to the FBI is no biggie also on this Depp Heard Jury?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (Irn0L)

158 I shit you not

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (us2H3)

159 If you want fun, ask a Spanish speaker who is learning English to pronounce "Squirrel"
Posted by: Kindltot at June 01, 2022 03:10 PM (xhaym)

Unique. My grandmother pronounced it more like eunuch.

Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (JfUen)

160 132 Yeah, even when it's appropriate, drawing a dick in the blanks on a jury form is frowned upon. Stuffy old legal system.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at June 01, 2022 03:12 PM (ppBhU)

Say they're female dicks.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (ynpvh)

161 The good news is whatever the verdict is, it will be the backup /explanation /proof for every single person's specific theory about society and politics and humanity in general because that's all everything is now.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (bbAHh)

162 (and as a completely unrelated tidbit, "mist" is German for "shit")
Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM

Ahem.

Posted by: Schiesskopf at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (a3Q+t)

163 CH and SH are a bit of a shibboleth as well.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (ynpvh)

can and can't: that last unvoiced T is muy dificil

Posted by: Kindltot at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (xhaym)

164 140 >>>38 I like Johnny Depp, he's made a number of films I've liked quite a lot, it's a shame what drugs, alcohol and loose women have done to him.

i've barely ever liked him. I did like him in the pirates movie. he was okay in Secret Window. He's generally pretty annoying to me.
Posted by: Kamala Harris at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (AkbRF)

He was great in the 1st 2 seasons of 21 Jump Street...

Posted by: Nova local at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (exHjb)

165 129 @110

>>If you want fun, ask a Spanish speaker who is learning English to pronounce "Squirrel"

Even funnier is to ask an Asian speaker to pronounce Lollipop.
----
Rorripop?
----
Ask a foreigner to do Arkansas. (It got me growing up on another continent).

Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (qfLjt)

166 I wonder how many of the jurors couldn't have cared less about the trial and just wanted to be able to tell their friends that they were jurors in a case involving celebrities.

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (Ynyl9)

167
Johnny Deep won 1 dollar, which won't even by a shot of rum, whiskey, whatever in Tortuga.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:08 PM (Rl7KJ)

He could always try piracy
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (ynpvh)

That man has to be the best butt-pirate I've ever seen.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (n+4am)

168 I'm sure my coworker is getting a kick out of me mouthing them to make sure.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (sI15f)

Please refrain from mouthing your coworkers.

Posted by: HR at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (nByzo)

169 I did like Depp in 'Public Enemy', but other than that I haven't been a big viewer of his movies.

Posted by: William F. "Buck" Dharma at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (oedLL)

170 I imagined the verdict forms looked like those elementary school tests that are posted on the ONT.

1. What Compensatory Damages does the jury find?

( scribbled writing ) Johny Deep should be alowed to crap on Ms Ambers bed .

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (4+wAL)

171 140 >>>38 I like Johnny Depp, he's made a number of films I've liked quite a lot, it's a shame what drugs, alcohol and loose women have done to him.

i've barely ever liked him. I did like him in the pirates movie. he was okay in Secret Window. He's generally pretty annoying to me.
Posted by: Kamala Harris at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (AkbRF)

He looks like he smells like boogers to me.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (sI15f)

172 My late wife could never pronounce exponentially. You may wonder why she would need to pronounce exponentially but she did.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (eGTCV)

173 Edward Penishands > Edward Scissorhands

Posted by: Mark1971 at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (xPl2J)

174 The Decline of Western Civilization is the ultimate punk rock movie

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (Pu/aU)

175 I was going to comment on Depp's choice of women. But then I looked down at the fork scars on my chest.
Posted by: Marcus T

Yep - who among us hasn't chosen poorly a time or two while under the influence of liquor, immature judgement, red hair or breasticles? Or all of those factors?

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (Msys3)

176 140 >>>38 I like Johnny Depp, he's made a number of films I've liked quite a lot, it's a shame what drugs, alcohol and loose women have done to him.

i've barely ever liked him. I did like him in the pirates movie. he was okay in Secret Window. He's generally pretty annoying to me.
Posted by: Kamala Harris at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (AkbRF)

=========

Outside of the Pirates movies, he's essentially just an indie darling actor who suddenly made it big with Pirates. He's one of those key pieces of evidence that the movie star doesn't actually exist.

The only movies of his that make any real money are the Pirates movies. Rum Diary (which costarred Heard) made nothing. Transcendence made nothing. His name brings in nothing, but he could still convince Disney to give him tens of millions to dress like a drag pirate one five times.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (LvTSG)

177 Any guesses? $10m seems like a nice round number.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (4NlP1)

178 If you want fun, ask a Spanish speaker who is learning English to pronounce "Squirrel"
Posted by: Kindltot at June

Indonesian has words that start with ng. The "ng" blend from "sing"

That's hard enough but a very common phrase involves a repetition of a word that both starts and ends with ng.

Ngomong ngomong.

Posted by: Fat boy Kim at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (z9npv)

179 Turd did have a point, but it was mainly to keep her asshole from slamming shut.

Posted by: Roy at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (Ti+Tv)

180 I'm disappointed. Bill Kristol threads get little ship icons, Amber threads should get little turds.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (v0R5T)

181 Ms Heard has been signed to play the lead in the remake of

Shittyshittybangbang

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (us2H3)

182 I'll never understand why someone like Depp even gets married. Its not like these people are religious and think they can't have sex before marriage.

Why not just live together?

You are so fucked if you get a divorce and you're making tens of millions a year.

Posted by: Victory at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (oR9di)

183 Maybe no compensatory damages and they had to fill in a $0.00 instead of leaving it blank

Posted by: Cheri at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (oiNtH)

184 i've barely ever liked him. I did like him in the pirates movie. he was okay in Secret Window. He's generally pretty annoying to me.
Posted by: Kamala Harris at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (AkbRF)

He was great in the 1st 2 seasons of 21 Jump Street...

Posted by: Nova local at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (exHjb)

He was in Platoon.

Posted by: HR at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (nByzo)

185 151 all y'all need to warsh out ya mouf.
Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (UgAdJ)

Don't get me started on "warsh"...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (BgMrQ)

186 If Johnny were in court would he have to wear a puffy shirt?

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (jYQlA)

187 Oh look. THING happened! Like I've always said, this is what blueberries do to people!

It's the blueberries people! The blueberries!!! Why won't anyone listen to me?

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (bbAHh)

188 I got nothin'. Don't care one way or the other.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (Xrfse)

189 ZOD is a fluffy little kitty cat compared to Judge Sharkman when he gets his blood up about the "legal" "system".
Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (zrlG

Your services are desperately needed on the US Supreme Court!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (hOUT3)

190 >>>He looks like he smells like boogers to me.

he definitely looks like he smells. either of cigarettes and incense and b.o., or thickly of unisex parfum.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (AkbRF)

191 173 Edward Penishands > Edward Scissorhands

Posted by: Mark1971 at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (xPl2J)

Ed Scissorhands can do his own tranny surgery

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (ynpvh)

192 168 I'm sure my coworker is getting a kick out of me mouthing them to make sure.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:14 PM (sI15f)

Please refrain from mouthing your coworkers.
Posted by: HR at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (nByzo)

I laid that up there nicely for you.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (sI15f)

193 there is a hispanic comedian, that had me howl___ out loud, when he had his father how to pronounce worterchestershire sauce.

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (UgAdJ)

194 >>If you want fun, ask a Spanish speaker who is learning English to pronounce "Squirrel"

Even funnier is to ask an Asian speaker to pronounce Lollipop. ------

I got thrown for a loop when my Japanese boss was trying to tell me he was going to Indianapolis.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (4+wAL)

195 Lots of dumb jurors lately.

*glares at DC*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (ptqGC)

196 I get a "pox on both your houses" vibe from the jury's actions, which suggests only a nominal compensatory award

Posted by: Elric Blade at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (iFTx/)

197 177 Any guesses? $10m seems like a nice round number.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (4NlP1)

I wasn't kidding about thinking they wanted to award nothing...so $100 may be the answer vs $100M...

Posted by: Nova local at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (exHjb)

198 Speaking of court decisions, Leftwing Racial Grievance Rag "The Root" has an article up about SCOTUS entitled Supreme Court Decisions About Guns, Abortion and Climate Change To Be Made Soon The impending decisions on 33 cases concerning vital social and human rights issues will be made this summer.

You can tell it'll be a fair article from the end of the opening paragraph: Since Amy Coney Barrett replaced the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg, conservatives have ruthlessly been pushing their agenda forward. Last line of article? Although the public is hoping the Supreme Court will place humanity over power, it’s looking highly unlikely

While I was aware of most of the rulings they discussed were upcoming, this one was new to me: The Supreme Court will also decide if the Environmental Protection Agency can require states to reduce the carbon pollution by moving away from coal-fired power plants and shifting toward natural gas, wind turbines and solar energy. The Obama administration originally devised this plan, but it was blocked and ultimately ignored while Trump was in office. Can't wait for energy rates to rise like gas prices.

Posted by: Intrepid Democratic Underground AoS Liaison at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (NCgXW)

199 Deys a lotta crooks in Warshington.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (jYQlA)

200 Okay the jury is coming back.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (Rl7KJ)

201 Back!

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (ufFY8)

202 I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy.

Posted by: Freddy at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (bbAHh)

203 Looks like Barstool Sports has gone ghey.

I hate this planet.

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (BJKQV)

204 Here we go . . .

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (4I/2K)

205 jury is coming back

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (AkbRF)

206 My favorite with Depp was 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'.

Posted by: Cheri at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (oiNtH)

207 Southern isn't so much an accent as just not knowing how many syllables words have:

"Oil": One syllable
"Shrimp": Three syllables

It's a madhouse down there, I tells ya.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (6FeV1)

208 Biden, looking and sounding like someone jolted awake at 3am, announces United Airlines is flying in 3.7 bottles of formula.

https://bit.ly/3tb8U1Y

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (i0wNm)

209 Unique. My grandmother pronounced it more like eunuch.
Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (JfUen)

"You are Embezzle!"

"No, I think you got that wrong, I think you mean "Imbecile"

"YES!! YOU!!!"

Posted by: Kindltot at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (xhaym)

210 I like Johnny Depp, he's made a number of films I've liked quite a lot, it's a shame what drugs, alcohol and loose women have done to him.

He did it to himself

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (Irn0L)

211 Hope she loses.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (ptqGC)

212 36 My wife pronounces it supposively. She's so cute.
Posted by: Pug Mahon

My wife cannot pronounce 'window sill'. It's 'windowseal'.

Drives me batty. She says I have my faults too.

Nah! Couldn't be!

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (Msys3)

My husband pronounces "won" as "juan". I gave up trying to correct him; I just bite my tongue.

Posted by: Bonnie Blue - no longer playing the game at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (9qiMu)

213 The jury dropped a verdict ?

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (M+Lyo)

214 181 Ms Heard has been signed to play the lead in the remake of

Shittyshittybangbang
Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (us2H3)
----------

She's also entertaining offers for the Broadway show "Mary Poopins"

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (G0vdT)

215 Depp and Amber lived in a punchbowl

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (us2H3)

216 I'm pronouncing it ash-fault, I don't give a shit

Posted by: DaveX64 at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (BNROb)

217 I liked Fear and Loathing and Ninth Gate. The Libertine is solid. From Hell is also solid. Secret Window and Astronaut's Wife are okay. He's been in enough that I've liked.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (ppBhU)

218 Even funnier is to ask an Asian speaker to pronounce Lollipop.
----
Rorripop?
----
Ask a foreigner to do Arkansas. (It got me growing up on another continent).
Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (qfLjt)

Ask Tom Brokaw to say Kuala Lumpur, or Jalalabad.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (xPJvm)

219 Ngomong ngomong.
Posted by: Fat boy Kim

.... Mr. Roboto!

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (Msys3)

220 I'll never understand why someone like Depp even gets married. Its not like these people are religious and think they can't have sex before marriage.

Why not just live together?

You are so fucked if you get a divorce and you're making tens of millions a year.
Posted by: Victory at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (oR9di)

California took care of that with palimony.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (4+wAL)

221 What's sad is Depp's career is probably over, since if any woman accuses a man of abuse he's automatically found guilty, even if he's closed by a court those who "believe all womyn" and scream outside offices will say it was a sexist jury that acquitted him.

Herd will probably be no worse for wear, if anything she'll probably do much better than her average of 1 shitty movie a year. They'll call her brave and stunning and stunningly brave, and she'll play Rosa Parks or Joan of Arc, because like them she's amazingly brave and powerful. Movie companies will bow down to here her, products will fight for get endorsement, and a reality series will be waiting. Because crime pays for liberals of the proper causes.

I hope Johnny comes out and can live and work however he wants. I was never a huge fan, but the guy deserves justice, and an air purifier.

Posted by: Rbastid at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (6YyxX)

222 "Lots of dumb jurors lately.

*glares at DC*
Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (ptqGC)"

There's a difference between being dumb and being a deliberately corrupt subversive. The former probably rates a throat punch. The latter rates a monkey stomp.

Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (OTvdu)

223 Depp: I won.

Heard: I lost

Jury: One dollar!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (h6/n7)

224 Victory: "Why not just live together?"

Do it long enough and you're Common Law Married. Old ways used to be best ways, and I think it still applies today. Not the best necessarily, but the old.

Or did that law get stricken from the books?

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (aXxgO)

225
Don't get me started on "warsh"...

Posted by: browndog

how about a far place, you know. the thing where you burn wood in the winter to keep warm.

or tars. my buddy from basic, good Ohio boy, had tars on his T-bird

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (UgAdJ)

226 That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow - bitch.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (Vr12I)

227 206 My favorite with Depp was 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'.
Posted by: Cheri at June 01, 2022 03:19 PM (oiNtH)

-------
That was a very good movie, and Leo was amazing but I can't stand Juliette Lewis.

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (VJsqe)

228 jury is coming back

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (AkbRF)

Any of them carrying a rolled up newspaper?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (nByzo)

229 he definitely looks like he smells. either of cigarettes and incense and b.o., or thickly of unisex parfum.
__________

In the photos of Depp from court, you could see that he was wearing foundation on his face, and also some eyeliner. It wasn't as thick and heavy as he usually wears it, but he still had some on.

He seems very insecure.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (MvHI3)

230 Ask a foreigner to do Arkansas. (It got me growing up on another continent).
Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:15 PM (qfLjt)

Welcome to the party, Pal

Posted by: Oregon at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (xhaym)

231 boom

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (IEa8U)

232 Depp was in one of my tied for worst movie of all time. Cry Baby.

Tied with Millennium.

Both truly awful movies.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (Y5qcH)

233 amber just shit her pants

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (us2H3)

234 Amber Heard in "One Crapped Over The Cuckold's Nest".

Posted by: William F. "Buck" Dharma at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (oedLL)

235 All pro-Depp so far.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (XQFx4)

236 Yes for Depp's claims

Posted by: Methos at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (kOpft)

237 How many of Heard's statements are going to be found to be defamatory? All of them?

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (Rl7KJ)

238 Big money! Big money! No whammies! Stop!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (4NlP1)

239 how about a far place, you know. the thing where you burn wood in the winter to keep warm.

or tars. my buddy from basic, good Ohio boy, had tars on his T-bird
Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (UgAdJ)

How about putting some ass on that sprain?

Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (eGTCV)

240 I have a lot of stories about relationships, but none of them involve someone dropping a deuce on the bed. How revolting does someone have to be to do that?

Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (OTvdu)

241 > I'm pronouncing it ash-fault, I don't give a shit

I've heard Aussies pronounce it ash-fell. Koala molesting authoritarian weirdos.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (i0wNm)

242 Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (UgAdJ)

Regionalisms...lol

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (BgMrQ)

243 Actual malice!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (4NlP1)

244 I mentioned earlier, NoVa juries really want laws followed...

Posted by: Nova local at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (exHjb)

245 Leonardo DiCaprio>Johnny Depp

Follow DiCaprios lead Johnny! You're not supposed to marry em'. Once they turn 25 they're too old and you throw them back in the water. There is a fresh batch of 21 year old hotties everyday!

Posted by: JROD at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (0jZnq)

246 228 jury is coming back

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (AkbRF)

Any of them carrying a rolled up newspaper?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (nByzo)

I'd think TP

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (ynpvh)

247 Sleepy Hollow was a good movie.

Posted by: DaveX64 at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (BNROb)

248 You morons are shameless!

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (LilNs)

249
WaPo looks bad in this case, too, for publishing her bullshit.

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (HFwZY)

250 Clean Sweep!

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (4I/2K)

251 he definitely looks like he smells. either of cigarettes and incense and b.o., or thickly of unisex parfum.
__________

Hai Karate

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (M+Lyo)

252 Holy shit...

Ace updated the color of the title and didn't leave the tag open.

This is big news, people.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (LvTSG)

253 Today is the day Amber heard *almost* ended Johnny Depp's career

Posted by: Methos at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (kOpft)

254 Big money! Big money! No whammies! Stop!
Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (4NlP1)

Yikes! I understand the reference.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (xPJvm)

255 These people are so distant from my reality that they might as well exist in another galaxy.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (Xrfse)

256 240 I have a lot of stories about relationships, but none of them involve someone dropping a deuce on the bed. How revolting does someone have to be to do that?
Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (OTvdu)

Let me tell you about Dad and I.

Posted by: Hunter at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (Ti+Tv)

257 198 Speaking of court decisions, Leftwing Racial Grievance Rag "The Root" has an article up about SCOTUS entitled Supreme Court Decisions About Guns, Abortion and Climate Change To Be Made Soon The impending decisions on 33 cases concerning vital social and human rights issues will be made this summer.

You can tell it'll be a fair article from the end of the opening paragraph: Since Amy Coney Barrett replaced the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg, conservatives have ruthlessly been pushing their agenda forward. Last line of article? Although the public is hoping the Supreme Court will place humanity over power, it’s looking highly unlikely

Posted by: Intrepid Democratic Underground AoS Liaison

The way things are going, they will do a flip flop on the leaked baby murder ruling.

Posted by: Bonnie Blue - no longer playing the game at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (9qiMu)

258 Pay up, bitch.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (ptqGC)

259 She is gonna have to suck a lightyear of dick to pay the damages.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (fM5LB)

260 I still pronounce it tars. it's about all of the accent that's left

Posted by: Notsothoreau - move forward at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (5HBd1)

261 "jury is coming back

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (AkbRF) "

From licking windows? Are they also breathing through their mouths?

Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (OTvdu)

262 MAJORITY OF THE JURY ARE FROM RIO LINDA?

Posted by: MONSTER UNIVERSE MITT ROMNEY at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (P5wHg)

263 56 Costello: hey, Abbott, look at that big bunch of cows!
Abbott: Heard.
Costello: Heard what?
Abbott: Heard of cows
Costello: yeah, I heard of cows, there's a big bunch of them!
Posted by: mallfly the Peach

I spent a lot of time in college trying to get this joke to happen in regular conversation by asking people "have you seen a heard of cows" or something like that. Just needed the "heard of cows" response but never ever worked.

Sigh. I did stay single in college though so there's that.

Posted by: TexasDan at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (z9npv)

264 Amber now knows how it to be fucked really hard

in the poop chute

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (us2H3)

265 how about a far place, you know. the thing where you burn wood in the winter to keep warm.

or tars. my buddy from basic, good Ohio boy, had tars on his T-bird
Posted by: BifBewalski

Way down along the river a buddy of mine has his fish in a 'feesh deesh'.

And he 'arns' his shirts.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (Msys3)

266 My grandfather spoke Czech until he started school, and always kept a slight accent. Once a week, he took the "thrash" out. And he swore up one side and down the other that my mother named my sister "Victoria" out of sheer spite. He had trouble with V's and called her "Wictoria".

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin -- I wasn't particularly fond of the '70s the first time around at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (sjtZ7)

267 A lot of YESes LOL

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (Irn0L)

268
Amber Heard in -

"Who Wiping Gilbert Grape?"

Posted by: naturalfake at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (OK0YZ)

269 Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (MvHI3)

I think that eyeliner is tattooed .

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (4+wAL)

270

I can't believe he forces her to do this like that.

He is guilty of not being good to women!

Posted by: Dr.Rev. Senator Your Highness E Buzz Miller, Esq PhD MA MS at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (5uVFH)

271 Andrea punching the camera, lol.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (ufFY8)

272 248 You morons are shameless!

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (LilNs)

Whose dick did you have to suck to be in such a mood?

Posted by: Kamala at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (ynpvh)

273 > Depp and Amber lived in a punchbowl

Wine vat.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (i0wNm)

274
Any of them carrying a rolled up newspaper?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (nByzo)

I'd think TP
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

which one lit the match in the jury room

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (UgAdJ)

275
#MeToo hardest hit.

Posted by: ShainS -- Welcome to the boneyard, we got fun & games & Starveflation aims at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (xmNAu)

276 More actual malice!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (4NlP1)

277 What's sad is Depp's career is probably over, since if any woman accuses a man of abuse he's automatically found guilty, even if he's closed by a court those who "believe all womyn" and scream outside offices will say it was a sexist jury that acquitted him.

Posted by: Rbastid at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (6YyxX)
---
He'll need to transition.

Posted by: Axeman at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (OaZlZ)

278 I hope she doesn't end up working in fast food, for obvious reasons.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (ptqGC)

279 She was guilty of defaming the bed.

Posted by: Roy at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (Ti+Tv)

280 >>>Ace updated the color of the title and didn't leave the tag open.

i accuse you of foolishness

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (AkbRF)

281 "228 jury is coming back

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:18 PM (AkbRF)

Any of them carrying a rolled up newspaper?

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (nByzo)

I'd think TP
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (ynpvh)"

Half tucked into their pants and dragging behind them.

Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (OTvdu)

282 Welcome to the party, Pal
Posted by: Oregon at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM

Didn't you die of dysentery?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (a3Q+t)

283 Boy, American juries are really something, aren't they. I guess I'll just have to get used to being in a banana republic for the rest of my life.

I did notice, in the wake of Ray Liotta's passing, that Lorraine Bracco was, in her day, MUCH better looking than Amber Heard.

Posted by: Eeyore at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (R0Tis)

284 Rekieta has the Pope hat on

Posted by: Mark1971 at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (xPl2J)

285 They are Carpet-Bombing the Wine-Chick Bedshitter.

Posted by: Slapweasel at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (Ckg4U)

286 What does this mean for the Amazon Compost?

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (jYQlA)

287 280 >>>Ace updated the color of the title and didn't leave the tag open.

i accuse you of foolishness
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (AkbRF)

==========

And I accuse you of shenanigans!

Shenanigans!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (LvTSG)

288 Is the lying bitch going to burst out in tears now?

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (Rl7KJ)

289 ......reap the whirlwind, etc

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (8KSPd)

290 254 Big money! Big money! No whammies! Stop!
Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (4NlP1)

Yikes! I understand the reference.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at June 01, 2022 03: PM (xPJvm)

There was a guy that figured out the pattern...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (ynpvh)

291 Amber auditioning for the The Rise and Fall of the Turd Reich

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (v0R5T)

292 I am sure this is gonna hurt her worse than not getting raped with a Maker's mark Bottle.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (fM5LB)

293 Don't get me started on "warsh"...

Posted by: browndog

how about a far place, you know. the thing where you burn wood in the winter to keep warm.

or tars. my buddy from basic, good Ohio boy, had tars on his T-bird
Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM

You guys's accents ah qweeah.

Posted by: Bostonians at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (h6/n7)

294 Amber needs consoling.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (4I/2K)

295 As I mentioned earlier, his team was good, her team was crap (get it?). This is even aside from the pesky facts of the case.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (PDnth)

296 THE JURY SHIT THE BED

Posted by: Amber Heard at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (ESjRY)

297 why in the fuck did she write that shit ??

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (us2H3)

298 She has suffered the wrath of our patriarchy. Yet still, her rack persisted.

Posted by: Keep gp Out Yo MF'n Mouf at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (qpX6U)

299 295 As I mentioned earlier, his team was good, her team was crap (get it?). This is even aside from the pesky facts of the case.
Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (PDnth)

========

I don't get it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (LvTSG)

300 >>>286 What does this mean for the Amazon Compost?

if there's no bar from the statute of limitations I guess he can sue them but it's been a while...

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (AkbRF)

301 Sounds like Amber will be duty-bound to pay up.

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (VJsqe)

302 Now pronounce " oil" - no not Earl, dammit, " OIL"! Sheesh.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (Vr12I)

303 279 She was guilty of defaming the bed.
__________

The dog. She blamed the shit on the poor little dog.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (MvHI3)

304 162 (and as a completely unrelated tidbit, "mist" is German for "shit")
Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:09 PM
----
So Scotch Mist to a German is ......?

Also "Play Misty For Me" = "Play Shitty For Me"?
(Posted by: Jessica Walter)

Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (qfLjt)

305 Jury didn't even need to tick the boxes.

They just drew a single line though the yes column.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (4NlP1)

306 >>>297 why in the fuck did she write that shit ??

ACLU wrote it!

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (AkbRF)

307 Donnie Brasco was his best movie IMHO.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (4+wAL)

308 245 Leonardo DiCaprio>Johnny Depp

Follow DiCaprios lead Johnny! You're not supposed to marry em'. Once they turn 25 they're too old and you throw them back in the water. There is a fresh batch of 21 year old hotties everyday!
Posted by: JROD at June 01, 2022 03:22 PM (0jZnq)
___________________________

Not long ago (pre-CV19) LDC partied at the same clubs as I did. I met him several times. He had a thing for very young albeit legal girls. Like 18-20 years old.

Posted by: Elric Blade at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (iFTx/)

309 $10 mill + $5 Mill

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (IEa8U)

310 282 Welcome to the party, Pal
Posted by: Oregon at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM

Didn't you die of dysentery?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (a3Q+t)

At least he wasn't in the Sierras...

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (ynpvh)

311 302 Now pronounce " oil" - no not Earl, dammit, " OIL"! Sheesh.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (Vr12I)

You make a good pernt.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (Y5qcH)

312 They had to answer yes to all the elements to reached the final question, otherwise not guilty.
15 million total

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (ufFY8)

313 $15 big ones buys alot of fun.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (Msys3)

314 15MM

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (M+Lyo)

315 15million buckaroos, which is going to be cut down, but still.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (Rl7KJ)

316 $10 mil compensatory, $5 mil punative!!

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (4I/2K)

317 After this is over, someone needs to bring Depp in for a little bro-talk about not sticking it in crazy.

Posted by: Hawkpilot at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (y+jsk)

318 290 254 Big money! Big money! No whammies! Stop!
Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:21 PM (4NlP1)

Yikes! I understand the reference.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at June 01, 2022 03: PM (xPJvm)

There was a guy that figured out the pattern...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (ynpvh)

Funny enough, he whammied on his 1st spin...so, he still needed to practice he reflexes and not just know the pattern...

Posted by: Nova local at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (exHjb)

319 297 why in the fuck did she write that shit ??
__________

Ironically, she didn't even write it. The ACLU wrote it.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (MvHI3)

320 Don't start no shit, there'll be no shit

Posted by: DaveX64 at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (BNROb)

321 10 Mil.

+

5 Mil

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (fM5LB)

322 Did I hear ten million? I think I did!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (4NlP1)

323 my ass hurts

Posted by: amber turd at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (M+Lyo)

324 Heard payin' big bucks.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (i0wNm)

325
Half tucked into their pants and dragging behind them.
Posted by: Marcus T

sherrif bufford t hardest hit
- smokey

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (UgAdJ)

326 309 $10 mill + $5 Mill
Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (IEa8U)

=========

And everyone knows in public that she's a psycho-hosebeast.

She's gonna start making $10,000 a pop for shitting RedBox movies now.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (LvTSG)

327 Old and Busted: You stick your d*ck in crazy your girlfriend will stab you in bed

New Hotness: You stick your d*ck in crazy your girlfriend will shit the bed.

Don't let anyone tell you everything is getting worse!

Posted by: 18-1 at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (ESjRY)

328 Amber needs consoling.
Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (4I/2K)

Have at it.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (ptqGC)

329 I hope Johnny comes out and can live and work however he wants. I was never a huge fan, but the guy deserves justice, and an air purifier.
Posted by: Rbastid

Public sentiment is far and away for Depp and Heard has been bashed. He also has support from other stars such as De Caprio and others. I'll will bet another film he does will rake in a lot of bucks just on that fact alone.

Posted by: Cheri at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (oiNtH)

330 >>ACLU wrote it!

You can't prove that!

Posted by: ACLU at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (fM5LB)

331 What's the amber heard movie where she dies on the beach at the ends?

Posted by: TexasDan at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (z9npv)

332 If you can't fill out a jury form correctly, it's time to re think your life. Maybe volunteer for biological experiments.

Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (OTvdu)

333 No one from the Canadian Maritimes can pronounce nice as anything other than noice.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (eGTCV)

334 OK, so she's a nasty B***c! (he's an ahole too) but she was still smokin' hot in Aquaman (which is still the best of the DC movies)

Posted by: DLC2 at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (7ZZnd)

335 $15 mil will buy about five tanks of gas.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (jYQlA)

336 Turd in for $15M so far.

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (G0vdT)

337 277 What's sad is Depp's career is probably over, since if any woman accuses a man of abuse he's automatically found guilty, even if he's closed by a court those who "believe all womyn" and scream outside offices will say it was a sexist jury that acquitted him.

Posted by: Rbastid at June 01, 2022 03:20 PM (6YyxX)

Too bad he didn't just molest some kids. He could have had a fine Hollywood career ahead of him.

Posted by: 29Victor at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (BJKQV)

338 "why in the fuck did she write that shit ??"

#metoo was the style at the time, along with belt onions.

Posted by: Keep gp Out Yo MF'n Mouf at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (qpX6U)

339 ooh.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (Rl7KJ)

340 she's gonna have to fuck everyone in Hollywood to pay this off

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (us2H3)

341 "mist" is manure auf Deutsch

scheiss is shit

and Amber is both?

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (8KSPd)

342 Don't shit on Johnny Depp's bed. Just don't do it.

Posted by: Puddinhead at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (bA3Ln)

343 309 $10 mill + $5 Mill
Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (IEa8U)

So, she paid for him losing his role in Fantastic Beasts 3 Secrets of Dumbledore.

Having seen it, this is probably better for Depp than that movie role would have been...

Posted by: Nova local at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (exHjb)

344 She can probably earn a fair amount of the scratch she needs in German films.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (ppBhU)

345
Any guesses? $10m seems like a nice round number.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:16 PM (4NlP1)

Right. 10 sounds like a nice roooooound number.

*reaches for big-assed teapot*

Posted by: Morty from Layer Cake at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (n+4am)

346
Not long ago (pre-CV19) LDC partied at the same clubs as I did. I met him several times. He had a thing for very young albeit legal girls. Like 18-20 years old.

So you are saying if a man can choose any woman he wants he is going to choose a young hot one? What a shock!

Posted by: Someone who is not shocked at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (ESjRY)

347 She's gonna be doing a lot of Anal Porn in the future.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (fM5LB)

348 >>> Now pronounce " oil" - no not Earl, dammit, " OIL"! Sheesh.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (Vr12I)

Worsh rags. And long metallic conduits of electricity are called wars.

Posted by: banana Dream at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (YsjiM)

349 $10 mill + $5 Mill

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (IEa8U)

+ 1 King size set of Giza Dream Sheets.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (nByzo)

350 In light of the verdict, do we need to add a third axis to the Hot-Crazy Matrix?

Posted by: Elric Blade at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (iFTx/)

351 Uh Oh, Heard winning on some verdicts.

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (G0vdT)

352 Just curious. How many people defamed Trump?

Posted by: Marcus T at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (OTvdu)

353 15 Million iron men will buy an AWFUL lot of Febreze.

Posted by: William F. "Buck" Dharma at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (oedLL)

354 Amber needs consoling.
Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (4I/2K)
........

I recommend a condom.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (v0R5T)

355 lol, they're both going to get awarded 15 million.

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (Rl7KJ)

356 He will never collect right? She'll drag out paying for all eternity

Posted by: TexasDan at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (z9npv)

357 " After this is over, someone needs to bring Depp in for a little bro-talk about not sticking it in crazy."

Why? It's paying off big for him!

Posted by: Keep gp Out Yo MF'n Mouf at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (qpX6U)

358 So lots 'o money to Depp, then?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb8)

359 Ooooh....she's got a winner on her counter.

Could it be a wash?

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (fM5LB)

360 Baby, baby, don't shit the bed on me.

Posted by: Eromero at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (gktX6)

361
Why was this trial in Virginia?

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (HFwZY)

362 She's going to be reduced to doing Hunter Biden porn.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (ptqGC)

363 Did we ever find out if Johnny found cocaine in Amber's snootch?

Posted by: Dr. Bone at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (BP3/z)

364 Remember, if you date Amber Heard spend the night at her place not yours. Or maybe a hotel...as long as it is under her name.

Posted by: Your bed begging you at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (ESjRY)

365 So 2 millions dollars is that what I heard?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (Irn0L)

366 than noice.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (eGTCV)

-------
More than a couple of them say 'gararge' as well.

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (VJsqe)

367 "a compromise verdict"

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (Rl7KJ)

368 I don't identify this with any particular ethnic group but there are people who pronounce nothing as nuffin.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (eGTCV)

369 $2 mill compensatory and $0 mill punative for Amber

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (4I/2K)

370 $10 mil compensatory, $5 mil punative!!
Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (4I/2K)

Guess she'll be starting an OnlyFans page.

Posted by: spindrift at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (h5TKJ)

371 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb8)

372 I forget the title, but there was a movie about a defamation case in England where someone claimed a respectable physician had been a doctor in a nazi concentration camp. The punchline? The jury ruled that the doctor had been defamed, but he was clearly what he was accused of having been, so the jury awarded him a half penny.

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (Ynyl9)

373 Depp has to pay $2M. Depp nets $13M.

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (G0vdT)

374 Hot Amber Heard: And Soon the Darkness.

Although the other chick is much hotter, imo.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (Y5qcH)

375 328 Amber needs consoling.
Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM (4I/2K)

Have at it.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:26 PM (ptqGC)

Heh heh. But you just KNOW that some idiot, out there will jump right in.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (Vr12I)

376 Guess she'll be starting an OnlyFans page.
Posted by: spindrift at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (h5TKJ)
++++
Past her prime.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (5zVb8)

377 371 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb

========

Hotter, too.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (LvTSG)

378 Props to Depp. Usually when you bang crazy you don’t get rewarded with fifteen million bucks.

*fist bump*

Posted by: Squid at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (oV0je)

379 Whoever is fucking Dr. Curry...

he's the real winner in this case.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (fM5LB)

380 I fucking shit 2 million

Posted by: Amber at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (us2H3)

381 Amber Heard in -

"Who Wiping Gilbert Grape?"

Posted by: naturalfake at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (OK0YZ)

---------

The Curse of the Black Pearl.

Posted by: ShainS -- Welcome to the boneyard, we got fun & games & Starveflation aims at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (xmNAu)

382 My grandfather spoke Czech until he started school, and always kept a slight accent. Once a week, he took the "thrash" out.
Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin -- I wasn't particularly fond of the '70s the first time around at June 01, 2022 03:23 PM (sjtZ7)

\m/

https://youtu.be/ZcLXOTwZ5tA

Posted by: Robert at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (SpUPh)

383 ZOD IMPERIAL.

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (Q/6pY)

384 Sorry, missed some. Net of $8.5M to Depp.

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (G0vdT)

385 I'm surprised she's winning anything. Maybe it'll be a wash?

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (cnc4g)

386 Sociopaths need to be re-educated.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (IEa8U)

387 That 5 Mil in putative gets knocked down to 350k I think?

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (fM5LB)

388 Well, ~~$15,000,000~~ $13,000,000 is better than a sharp stick in the eye.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, That's AnonosaurX WrX, hater! at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (FVME7)

389
I like that the word "Hoax" is being repeated so much.

I want Twitter Idiots and Fake News to soak in that word.

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (HFwZY)

390 The punitive damages is capped at $350k

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (Rl7KJ)

391 330 >>ACLU wrote it!

You can't prove that!
Posted by: ACLU
___________

They already proved it. There were tons of emails and texts between ACLU and Amber, where the ACLU is sending her the editorial text for her lawyers to review and approve.

Ironically, the ACLU was trying to make sure that they didn't write anything that would get Amber Heard in legal trouble with Johnny Depp.

Helluva job, ACLU and Amber lawyers! LOL.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (MvHI3)

392 Sussman should have had this jury.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (ptqGC)

393 >>> Remember, if you date Amber Heard spend the night at her place not yours. Or maybe a hotel...as long as it is under her name.
Posted by: Your bed begging you at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (ESjRY)

Outside and plastic tarps.

Posted by: banana Dream at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (YsjiM)

394 "mist" is manure auf Deutsch

scheiss is shit

Mist is more like crap.

Scheisse is shit.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (XQFx4)

395
OK, so that doofus failed to actually smear cake on that Leonardo painting. But he tried.

That's enough for me. Break that guy's arms. Then force feed him an entire wedding cake, to see if that's survivable. If it's not, I don't care. Fuckin' philistine.

Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (FIJ+3)

396 I'm so out of touch I'm finding it difficult to care.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (p+1gI)

397 372 I forget the title, but there was a movie about a defamation case in England where someone claimed a respectable physician had been a doctor in a nazi concentration camp. The punchline? The jury ruled that the doctor had been defamed, but he was clearly what he was accused of having been, so the jury awarded him a half penny.
Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (Ynyl9)

Was that QB VII?

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (8C7+r)

398 390 The punitive damages is capped at $350k
Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (Rl7KJ)

We'll take that, thank you

Posted by: Depp's Legal team at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (Ti+Tv)

399 Write. Tha. Check. Bish.

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenko Solutions at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (bKoeu)

400 So, NoVa does hate them both - nothing like sticking it to both parties, so the appeals can drag out forever...

Posted by: Nova local at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (exHjb)

401 so Jack Sparrow comes out +8.3mm

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (M+Lyo)

402 395
OK, so that doofus failed to actually smear cake on that Leonardo painting. But he tried.

That's enough for me. Break that guy's arms. Then force feed him an entire wedding cake, to see if that's survivable. If it's not, I don't care. Fuckin' philistine.
Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (FIJ+3)

========

Put him in charge of the Notre Dame rebuild.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (LvTSG)

403 What? No skull with pirate patch?

🏴‍☠️

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (8yWvW)

404 "Net of $8.5M to Depp."

That pays back his $7M settlement, with $1.5M sweet profit. He'll drink that up in five weeks.

Posted by: Keep gp Out Yo MF'n Mouf at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (qpX6U)

405 Cap of punitive by statute to 350k, so not 5 million

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (ufFY8)

406 377 371 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb

========

Hotter, too.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (LvTSG)
--------
And nicer teeth.

Posted by: ShainS -- Welcome to the boneyard, we got fun & games & Starveflation aims at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (xmNAu)

407 Didn’t Depp date Winona Ryder at some point in the distant past? I always envied him for that.

But then, with her shoplifting, she turned out to be kinda crazy, too.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (tZ0Sb)

408 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb

........

I bet she takes cute little poops.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (v0R5T)

409 So $10 million (or $15m, or $10.1,, or whatever) is a lot of money to me, but is it a lot of money for Heard? Is that a really bad or is it bankruptcy and skull-fucking?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (5zVb8)

410 -------
More than a couple of them say 'gararge' as well.
Posted by: 496

tell me more about this land of, gararge.

- behold, the mighty Boog

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (UgAdJ)

411 372 I forget the title, but there was a movie about a defamation case in England where someone claimed a respectable physician had been a doctor in a nazi concentration camp. The punchline? The jury ruled that the doctor had been defamed, but he was clearly what he was accused of having been, so the jury awarded him a half penny.
Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (Ynyl9)

Was that based on a Leon Uris novel?

Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (eGTCV)

412 WHEN WILL THE CELEBRITY GO FUND ME BE STARTED FOR THE BED SHITTER?

Posted by: MONSTER UNIVERSE MITT ROMNEY at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (P5wHg)

413
Heh heh. But you just KNOW that some idiot, out there will jump right in.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:29 PM (Vr12I)

Well, I hope he uses a bed she's never been near.

Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (FIJ+3)

414 I don't identify this with any particular ethnic group but there are people who pronounce nothing as nuffin.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (eGTCV)
---
Oi! Wut's wrong wif 'at?

Posted by: Soccer Hooligan at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (OaZlZ)

415 that's two title uodates without fragging the blog

ace is on fire today with the close tags.

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (UgAdJ)

416 I think it's utterly normal not to care about this in the slightest. I like predicting big court cases, that's my only level of interest here.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (4u5zd)

417 I find it hard to get bent out of shape about the Mona Lisa thing. It's an ugly painting. It's always been ugly.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (ppBhU)

418 Defacation of charachter

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (M+Lyo)

419 407 Didn’t Depp date Winona Ryder at some point in the distant past? I always envied him for that.

But then, with her shoplifting, she turned out to be kinda crazy, too.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (tZ0Sb)

========

Ryder and Keanu Reeves are married in the eyes of the Greek Orthodox Church because of how the scene of their characters' marriage scene was done with a real Orthodox priest in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (LvTSG)

420 >>ZOD is a fluffy little kitty cat compared to Judge Sharkman when he gets his blood up about the "legal" "system". Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (zrlG

Kneel, impertinent! KNEEL!

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (Q/6pY)

421 I bet she takes cute little poops.
Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (v0R5T)
++++
hahaha. Regardless, she hopefully won't put them in your bed...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (5zVb8)

422 She didn't cry during verdict, so now we know she wasn't abused. Abuse makes chicks cry.

Posted by: Keep gp Out Yo MF'n Mouf at June 01, 2022 03:32 PM (qpX6U)

423 I'm glad the jury recognized they were both repugnant.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:33 PM (sI15f)

424 I see a mullet in the courtroom

Posted by: Mark1971 at June 01, 2022 03:33 PM (xPl2J)

425 odds that an appeals court will slash the $$ amounts?

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:33 PM (Ynyl9)

426 So the patriarchy wins again?

That's why I'm a member.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:33 PM (Y5qcH)

427 I bet she takes cute little poops.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (v0R5T)

lol, this place.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:33 PM (nByzo)

428 Well, I still think Amber is hot. Poorer than she used to be, but still hot.

Btw, the way these Hollywood types blow thru money, don't be surprised if Amber doesn't have any.

Posted by: Forheremenaremen at June 01, 2022 03:33 PM (GMR0L)

429 395
OK, so that doofus failed to actually smear cake on that Leonardo painting. But he tried.

That's enough for me. Break that guy's arms. Then force feed him an entire wedding cake, to see if that's survivable. If it's not, I don't care. Fuckin' philistine.

Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (FIJ+3)

A Chinese "re-education" camp in Xinjiang could work wonders.

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:33 PM (ynpvh)

430 348 >>> Now pronounce " oil" - no not Earl, dammit, " OIL"! Sheesh.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (Vr12I)

Worsh rags. And long metallic conduits of electricity are called wars.
Posted by: banana Dream at June 01, 2022 03:27 PM (YsjiM)

That big cat is a jagwire, right?

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at June 01, 2022 03:33 PM (8C7+r)

431 Was that QB VII?

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM (8C7+r)

--------
I believe so.

Posted by: ShainS -- Welcome to the boneyard, we got fun & games & Starveflation aims at June 01, 2022 03:34 PM (xmNAu)

432 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb

Top Quality

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 01, 2022 03:34 PM (M+Lyo)

433 But then, with her shoplifting, she turned out to be kinda crazy, too.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (tZ0Sb)
++++
Winona Ryder took the stand today but when she finished, the stand was missing.
- Norm MacDonald

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:34 PM (5zVb8)

434 Feh.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at June 01, 2022 03:34 PM (Mf7Vh)

435 432 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb

Top Quality
Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 01, 2022 03:34 PM (M+Lyo)

Bottom is fine too.

Posted by: Roy at June 01, 2022 03:34 PM (Ti+Tv)

436 187 Oh look. THING happened! Like I've always said, this is what blueberries do to people!

It's the blueberries people! The blueberries!!! Why won't anyone listen to me?
----
Have ypu been reading The Elephant Jokebook again?

Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:34 PM (qfLjt)

437 Good. Yeah, Hollywood is actually Hollyweird, and Depp should probably spend a couple years in rehab, but Heard killed his career. The Pirate movies were great mental M&Ms, and Captain Jack Sparrow was the biggest reason. He took a Disney ride and turned it into great summer fun. And if you look at The Lone Ranger from a slightly different POV, you realize Depp completely flipped the Tonto/Lone Ranger dynamic. In the movie, the Indian was the leader, the teacher, the one who knew stuff. The white guy just kept tripping over his own feet despite a fancy law degree.

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin -- I wasn't particularly fond of the '70s the first time around at June 01, 2022 03:34 PM (sjtZ7)

438 The tears of Amber Heard salt ZOD's champagne. Alternatively, Johnny Depp should probably have an angry cat taped to his face. And her head should be taped to his.

As Derb has said, pop culture is filth.

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (Q/6pY)

439 Amber needs consoling.
Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:24 PM

Ew. I'll stick with consoling the cabin boys.

Posted by: Capt. Ned of the Raging Queen at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (h6/n7)

440 361
Why was this trial in Virginia?
___________

The technical reason was because the defamatory article was published in the WaPo, which has printing presses and its email server in Fairfax.

The real reason was Depp's lawyers knew that Virginia has better (for Depp) anti-SLAPP laws than California. Heard's lawyers tried to get the case moved to CA, but they lost.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (MvHI3)

441 I bet she takes cute little poops.
Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (v0R5T)

That's incorrect. She does not poop. At all .

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (4+wAL)

442 Then force feed him an entire wedding cake, to see if that's survivable.
Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 03:30 PM

Can I volunteer?

Posted by: Robert's Sweet Tooth at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (SpUPh)

443
why in the fuck did she write that shit ??

ACLU wrote it!
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:25 PM (AkbRF)

So what? It's not as if WE'RE paying the fines...

Posted by: ACLU at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (n+4am)

444
That big cat is a jagwire, right?
Posted by: Iron Mike Golf

the car is a jag-you-war
- brit fag accent

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (UgAdJ)

445 She does look like she's holding one in.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (v0R5T)

446 What?? No burning skull? I guess that makes sense. It's more a hooman innerest story than actual 'news'. ....

Still the burning skull is always fun! 🤩

Posted by: Anonymous Guy in Kalifornistan at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (lKZ27)

447 Never heard of her before this, of course heard of him before but not sure I've ever seen one of his movies.

Anyway, WTF with the disinformation below? Masks do *not* "work" to limit spread of any ILI, including C19. This was known prior to March 2020, the topic has been studied since the 1940s. And the CDC Arizona "study" (assuming this is the one referred to in ace's post) was laughable garbage, on multiple grounds, and called out as such instantly by the few serious observers.

It's a lost cause - actual science and common sense have been banished completely, or to the edges, of public health, and totalitarian witch doctor nonsense substituted in lieu thereof. But unfortunate to see this on the HQ.

Posted by: rhomboid at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (OTzUX)

448 407 Didn’t Depp date Winona Ryder at some point in the distant past? I always envied him for that.

But then, with her shoplifting, she turned out to be kinda crazy, too.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (tZ0Sb)

Still doesn't look bad for her age in "Stranger Things"

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (ynpvh)

449 Where does he go to get his best character back?

I guess nowhere, since The Rock will be playing Jack Sparrow now.

I still think the Judge should just order them both crucified.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (MWtnB)

450 c`mon..this was star power combined with the power of the media...the media`s been slamming heard from the jump......and the media(like it or not) has enormous influence over the sheep-like public...

they`re both pathetic...but depp is a beloved star...

heard got "trumped"

Posted by: uncouth jay marks at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (GT8Ln)

451 Depp's team should sue the State of Virginia for the cap. It has no mechanism to account for inflation, making it essentially arbitrary. Sue the state for $10 billion.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (IEa8U)

452 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (Zz0t1)

453 Heard the turd.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (n8Dgh)

454 a-loo-min-ee-um

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (VJsqe)

455

lol @ The Mullet Lawyer

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (HFwZY)

456 Wynona Ryder - always makes me think of erstwhile poster BSG.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (Vr12I)

457
Viva's stream is better:

https://youtu.be/JGr4HfH_tUU

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 03:37 PM (HFwZY)

458 Maybe the only time in my life I'm mad there's a cap on punitive damages.

Did anyone see the case where 2 "vets" sued 3M over their foam hearing plugs because they said they suffered hearing loss and got $77+million? That's where you need some caps on damages.

Posted by: Victory at June 01, 2022 03:37 PM (oR9di)

459 >>I still think the Judge should just order them both crucified. Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (MWtnB)

Face-to-face. With their tongues stapled together. For the amusement of children (and their parents).

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:37 PM (Q/6pY)

460 Mullet guy was one of Depp's bodyguards.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:37 PM (4I/2K)

461 And we call ourselves Morons for nothing?

Posted by: DaveA at June 01, 2022 03:37 PM (FhXTo)

462 446 What?? No burning skull? I guess that makes sense. It's more a hooman innerest story than actual 'news'. ....

Still the burning skull is always fun! 🤩

Posted by: Anonymous Guy in Kalifornistan at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (lKZ27)

I'd worry about the chocolate pudding it'd be soaking in...

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:37 PM (ynpvh)

463 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb

wowza.......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:37 PM (Zz0t1)

464 for once Johnny, you aint gonna see shit

Posted by: Amber at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (us2H3)

465 Trial by Combat really needs to make a comeback.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (MWtnB)

466 454 a-loo-min-ee-um

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (VJsqe)

The aussies mangle that one.

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (ynpvh)

467 re 411: yes, 'QB VII' was what Uris wrote about it but apparently the lawsuit had to do with 'Exodus'. In this case, looking at Google was not so helpful as I had hoped

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (Ynyl9)

468 i updated with information about the finding against Depp.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (AkbRF)

469 >>Viva's stream is better:

Rekieta is King.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (fM5LB)

470 A black eye for the #MeToo movement.

Posted by: redridinghood at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (NpAcC)

471 Perky needs to always be pronounced in the Scottish manner. Pairky brrreasts.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, there are chickens in my trench at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (eGTCV)

472 She should have been in Zombie movies. Too late now.She will have to find another way to get drugs and spuds.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (xoOWk)

473 >>Viva's stream is better:

Rekieta is King.
Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:38 PM (fM5LB)

King and Pope!

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (4I/2K)

474 Alternate Headline: Jury Sees Turd, Amber Guilty.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (Zz0t1)

475 459 >>I still think the Judge should just order them both crucified. Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (MWtnB)

Face-to-face. With their tongues stapled together. For the amusement of children (and their parents).

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:37 PM (Q/6pY)

AT least it isn't human centipede style. Shitting his bed was bad enough.

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (ynpvh)

476 Amber must be pretty pooped after that trial.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (tZ0Sb)

477 448 407 Didn’t Depp date Winona Ryder at some point in the distant past? I always envied him for that.

never liked her as a starlet..but,she`s one of those rare women who aged into her attractiveness...maturity really looks great on ryder...

Posted by: uncouth jay marks at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (GT8Ln)

478
Hoaxers hardest hit.

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (HFwZY)

479 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!)

Nice dress.

Posted by: Maj. Roger Healey at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (P5wHg)

480 Does she have a nice turdcutter?

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenko Solutions at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (bKoeu)

481 Edward Shitherhands.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (44ww/)

482 Local Fox Newz affiliate is doing pErzOnz outside the court room interviews. The first one was a cute girl wearing a sun hat. She was adorable. Needs to get a life and sounded dumb as a box of rocks,,,but cute. The interviews went down hill from there. Cute Asian chick in a sun hat was cute.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (2graF)

483
Didn’t Depp date Winona Ryder at some point in the distant past? I always envied him for that.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (tZ0Sb)

From what I understand, he got "Winona Forever" tattooed on his arm while they were boffing. After they broke up, he had it hastily changed to "Wino Forever".

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (n+4am)

484 What?? No burning skull? I guess that makes sense. It's more a hooman innerest story than actual 'news'. ....

Still the burning skull is always fun! 🤩
Posted by: Anonymous Guy in Kalifornistan at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (lKZ27)
........

At the very least we should get a steaming Turd.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (v0R5T)

485 Perky needs to always be pronounced in the Scottish manner. Pairky brrreasts.
Posted by: N.L. Urker

i read that in grounds keep Willie's voice

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (UgAdJ)

486 So what? It's not as if WE'RE paying the fines...
Posted by: ACLU
________

Something tells me Amber is not going to be paying the ACLU the $3.5 million she promised them (from the divorce settlement).

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (MvHI3)

487 This brunette in a dress is confident that she's less crazy than Amber Heard:
https://is.gd/Y5T4Fv
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:28 PM (5zVb

Wouldn't bet on that. Getting Glenn Close vibes.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (0KuZa)

488 Turd turd turd
Turd is the word

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, That's AnonosaurX WrX, hater! at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (FVME7)

489 >>Nice dress.

It really is. Beautiful.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (fM5LB)

490 I don't think amber will give two shits about this verdict.

Posted by: Axeman at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (OaZlZ)

491 441 I bet she takes cute little poops.
Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:31 PM (v0R5T)

That's incorrect. She does not poop. At all .

Correct. And they smell like lilacs.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (qfLjt)

492 Did Mr. Depp really refer to himself as "Mr. Depp" in his statement that was published on his behalf? Cuz that doesn't look like a direct statement of him, but like a "news" report of the incident.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (MWtnB)

493 Amber Heards biggest detractors were millions of "believe all women" wine moms that have been moist for decades over Depp. If Heard was accusing someone that looked like Michael Rapaport, his ass would be sitting in jail.

Posted by: JROD at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (0jZnq)

494 >>>This brunette in a dress is confident

That ain't a dress son. That's a skirt and a matching top.

Posted by: mikethemoose at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (fHg5m)

495 >>451 Depp's team should sue the State of Virginia for the cap. Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:36 PM (IEa8U

Edited to read: Depp's team should rape the *Commonwealth* of Virginia. For the amusement of children (and their parents. And for Zod's amusement. And for the amusement of Zod's two dogs and his wife. And some other people who like to see a commonwealth get raped now and then).

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:41 PM (Q/6pY)

496 Amber sign up for new season of "Floaters"

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (us2H3)

497 he got "Winona Forever" tattooed on his arm

-
Well, in Hollywood, forever is like two weeks.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, That's AnonosaurX WrX, hater! at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (FVME7)

498 That ain't a dress son. That's a skirt and a matching top.
Posted by: mikethemoose at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (fHg5m)
++++
I realized that upon second look. This might be the longest it has taken a Hordeling to call me out on getting the description wrong!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (5zVb8)

499 Shitting his bed was bad enough.

*

Why do you hate gay men?

And this month of all months, too.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (c1p4Y)

500 This is good news.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (08ncd)

501 Sweeny Turd.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (44ww/)

502 A what must be rare these days a husband wins against the wife

Posted by: Skip at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (2JoB8)

503 Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:41 PM (Q/6pY)

How you feeling?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (Zz0t1)

504 Adding up the tally sheet
How much does he get after paying the lawyers?

Posted by: Braenyard at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (9rYNN)

505 >>That ain't a dress son. That's a skirt and a matching top.

Indeed it is.

I was...distracted.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 03:42 PM (fM5LB)

506 Heh. I was looking up Winona Ryder on IMDB...she was born in...Winona, MN...

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (ynpvh)

507 Still the burning skull is always fun! 🤩
Posted by: Anonymous Guy in Kalifornistan at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (lKZ27)
........

At the very least we should get a steaming Turd.
Posted by: wth

You want a burning skull
You'll settle for a steaming turd
You'll get Hope Solo's balloon knot.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (Ior/p)

508 >>>Didn’t Depp date Winona Ryder at some point in the distant past? I always envied him for that.

According to her, he took her virginity.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (HmZuC)

509 Edited to read: Depp's team should rape the *Commonwealth* of Virginia. For the amusement of children (and their parents. And for Zod's amusement. And for the amusement of Zod's two dogs and his wife. And some other people who like to see a commonwealth get raped now and then).
Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:41 PM

*considers upcoming gubernatorial election in the Commonwealth of MA*

Soon....

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (h6/n7)

510 144 The picture above is, no joke, the very first time I have seen a picture of Amber Heard.
Posted by: Dave in Fla at June 01, 2022 03:11 PM (5p7BC)

I was this morning years old when I learned that she was the hot neighbor chick who turned zombie on Eisenberg in the beginning of Zombieland.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 03:13 PM (4I/2K)

Huh. I was right now years old when I learned that she was the hot neighbor chick who turned zombie on Eisenberg in the beginning of Zombieland.

Posted by: a.moron at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (tu3iY)

511 This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (RQN3O)

512 I hope all the men of Hollywood take this as a sign that they can sue for defamation against baseless accusations of sexual abuse.

Turn Hollywood into a battlefield of lawsuits without end.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (LvTSG)

513 >>>Did Mr. Depp really refer to himself as "Mr. Depp" in his statement that was published on his behalf? Cuz that doesn't look like a direct statement of him, but like a "news" report of the incident.

if that's the statement i just wrote up, it's from his former lawyer.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (AkbRF)

514 506 Heh. I was looking up Winona Ryder on IMDB...she was born in...Winona, MN...

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (ynpvh)

good thing she wasn't born in Tampa.

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (ynpvh)

515 Apparently her cry-acting was not very convincing - sort of like Kirsten Stewart level acting.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (Vr12I)

516 Amber to play Mammy in the new GWTW

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (us2H3)

517 From what I understand, he got "Winona Forever" tattooed on his arm while they were boffing. After they broke up, he had it hastily changed to "Wino Forever".
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 01, 2022 03:40 PM (n+4am)
____________

Foresight: how do it work?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (YqDXo)

518 >>AT least it isn't human centipede style. Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:39 PM (ynpvh)

Person X, Depp, Heard. The floor. Person X will be well-fed.

YOU! (Points at random Moron). Ensure that X is well fed.

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (Q/6pY)

519 Does she pay her lawyers first or stiff everyone.

Posted by: Goatweed at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (0Q/6W)

520 Wish I was an adman, hire her for depends tv ads.

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenko Solutions at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (bKoeu)

521 the brit movie with the half-cent damage may have been Leon Uris' story QB VII

Posted by: barbarausa at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (RY/x5)

522 *deletes joke about onlyfans and a maker's mark bottle because he is at work*

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (08ncd)

523

lol
amber tweets her pre-drafted response on twitter:

Still maintains her claims.
Says the verdict hurts other women.

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (HFwZY)

524 518 Person X, Depp, Heard. The floor. Person X will be well-fed.

YOU! (Points at random Moron). Ensure that X is well fed.

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (Q/6pY)

=========

Is Person X Sinema?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (LvTSG)

525 I got nothin'. Don't care one way or the other.
Posted by: Notorious BFD at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (Xrfse)

Same. But coworkers seem to be excited about it.

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (DRSnL)

526 519 Does she pay her lawyers first or stiff everyone.
Posted by: Goatweed at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (0Q/6W)

She just bought a nice ranch house in the middle of nowhere, iirc.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (08ncd)

527 Something tells me Amber is not going to be paying the ACLU the $3.5 million she promised them (from the divorce settlement).
Posted by: TrivialPursuer

If I read correctly ACLU was supposed to write a statement that wouldn't defame Depp... Since Heard lost doesn't she now have a case against the ACLU?

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (JzBU4)

528 Pinch me, am I dreaming?

Posted by: Amber Alert at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (BP3/z)

529 Where does he go to get his best character back?
*

2001 or so.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (c1p4Y)

530 >>>450 c`mon..this was star power combined with the power of the media...the media`s been slamming heard from the jump......and the media(like it or not) has enormous influence over the sheep-like public...

this is delusional, the media has pushed her allegations uncritically.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (AkbRF)

531 that's the last time I let a guy fuck me in the ass

Posted by: Amber at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (us2H3)

532 So Depp wins 25 m, Heard wins 2?

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (kf6Ak)

533 >>>Heh. I was looking up Winona Ryder on IMDB...she was born in...Winona, MN...

Big Bone, KY would be funnier.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (HmZuC)

534 You want a burning skull
You'll settle for a steaming turd
You'll get Hope Solo's balloon knot.
Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (Ior/p)

Hey! Let's all go out for an Arby's Super!

Extra Horsey Sauce Too!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (RQN3O)

535 They'll both be drinking tonight.

Posted by: mr tmz at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (rJ48h)

536 According to her, he took her virginity.
Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (HmZuC)

Would she have stolen his if she could?

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (Rl7KJ)

537 Foresight: how do it work?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM

First, adjust it so the base is flush with the housing, then....

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (h6/n7)

538 They both need to be deloused

Posted by: NCKate at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (2oJif)

539 Depp: I won.

Heard: I lost

Jury: One dollar!
Posted by: RedMindBlueState

Finally , something that makes sense, geez...

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (8yWvW)

540 525 I got nothin'. Don't care one way or the other.
Posted by: Notorious BFD at June 01, 2022 03:17 PM (Xrfse)

Same. But coworkers seem to be excited about it.
Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (DRSnL)

Really me neither, but I'm here for the lulz while eating cashews, so

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (Vr12I)

541 Can I volunteer?
Posted by: Robert's Sweet Tooth at June 01, 2022 03:35 PM (SpUPh)

LOL, I don't care how sweet that tooth is. A whole wedding cake would cure it. You'd never want to set eyes on a cake again. Which I think is about right for that cake-slinging SOB.

Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (FIJ+3)

542 that's the last time I let a guy fuck me in the ass
Posted by: Amber at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (us2H3)

Posted by: James Franco Amber Heard at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (4I/2K)

543 Poor Amber. First she's dissed by the Aquaman director as a shitty actress, and then the jury in Virginia doesn't buy her sobbing (without tears) acting performance on the stand.

She's just not a good enough actress to convince anybody of anything, is she?

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (MvHI3)

544 Since she earned a mere 5M for Aquaman...I'd say she's hurtin'.

Posted by: Flyover, mostly lurking, sometimes commenting at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (Rbu5d)

545 Where does he go to get his best character back?
---
Crybaby?

Posted by: Axeman at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (OaZlZ)

546 538 They both need to be deloused

Posted by: NCKate at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (2oJif)

There'd be nothing left.

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (ynpvh)

547 Does she pay her lawyers first or stiff everyone.
Posted by: Goatweed at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (0Q/6W)
___________
I'm sure the lawyers have thought of this.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (YqDXo)

548 if Sussman woulda shit the bed, he woulda been found guilty

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (us2H3)

549 532 So Depp wins 25 m, Heard wins 2?

He gets $15m, she gets $2m. But he's over in UK touring with Jeff Beck and partying with Kate Moss. She's, well, still just a nasty little poopstain.

Posted by: Peaches at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (14URa)

550 Has anyone ever told you that

Turd is the Word?

Posted by: Peter Griffin at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (Zz0t1)

551 my prediction: Heard will go into some sort of rehab for a couple of months of counseling, she'll be declared sane and a new woman, and the same people who think the Marvel audience wants to see tranny superheroes (or 'Faith') will start giving her lots of work.

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (Ynyl9)

552 Ace, you should write celebrity news for tweens to help shape their tender World.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (xoOWk)

553 Heard invokes the Randy Marsh defense....

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (mZOHK)

554 >>>544 Since she earned a mere 5M for Aquaman...I'd say she's hurtin'

she earned a Mera 5M?

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)

555 547 Does she pay her lawyers first or stiff everyone.
Posted by: Goatweed at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (0Q/6W)
___________
I'm sure the lawyers have thought of this.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (YqDXo)

Escrow account.

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (ynpvh)

556 that's the last time I let a guy fuck me in the ass
Posted by: Amber at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (us2H3)

You know you want it.

Posted by: James Franco at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (4I/2K)

557 First local gas station to break the $5 mark happened just minutes ago.

#FuckJoeBiden

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (wtvvX)

558 Ok, so who defamed whoms???

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (8yWvW)

559 >>>552 Ace, you should write celebrity news for tweens to help shape their tender World.

that's a great idea, I see myself as a younger Taylor Lorenz.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)

560 Pope of 'lawtube'.
LOL

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (ufFY8)

561 559 >>>552 Ace, you should write celebrity news for tweens to help shape their tender World.

that's a great idea, I see myself as a younger Taylor Lorenz.
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)

==========

Great, now ace is going to be sliding into 15 year old girls' DMs. This can't go poorly.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (LvTSG)

562 that's a great idea, I see myself as a younger Taylor Lorenz.
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)
++++
*snort*

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (5zVb8)

563 If I read correctly ACLU was supposed to write a statement that wouldn't defame Depp... Since Heard lost doesn't she now have a case against the ACLU?
___________

Doubtful. They sent the text to Amber for her lawyers to review it and approve it before it was published.

She probably has a better case (for malpractice) against her own legal team.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (MvHI3)

564 Something tells me Amber is not going to be paying the ACLU the $3.5 million she promised them (from the divorce settlement).
Posted by: TrivialPursuer

If I read correctly ACLU was supposed to write a statement that wouldn't defame Depp... Since Heard lost doesn't she now have a case against the ACLU?
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 01, 2022 03:44 PM (JzBU4)
____________
How exactly does the ACLU come to be involved in this? What is the putative civil liberties issue?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (YqDXo)

565 re 533: I believe Winona Ryder's real last name is Horwitz.

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (Ynyl9)

566 that's the last time I let a guy fuck me in the ass
Posted by: Amber at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM

How badly do you want to revive your "career"?

Posted by: Hollywood Producers at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (h6/n7)

567 >>*considers upcoming gubernatorial election in the Commonwealth of MA* Soon....
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (h6/n7)

I choose to conquer your pepperbox-pistol-shaped commonwealth. I want to own it. I want to make Massachusettsians unhappy and gruel-fed. I want the Kennedys to simper over their goddamn long weird teeth. I want the Cape as my playground, and I want to Vineyard-Est-Delendo the Vineyard.

You will assist me.

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (Q/6pY)

568 >>>Didn’t Depp date Winona Ryder at some point in the distant past? I always envied him for that.

According to her, he took her virginity.
Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (HmZuC)

Those were prime Depp years, just saying.

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (DRSnL)

569 She's just not a good enough actress to convince anybody of anything, is she?
Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:46 PM (MvHI3)

-------
How you gonna make your way in the world woman
when you weren't cut out for workin'
and you just can't concentrate?
And you always show up late?

-Warren Zevon, The French Inahler

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (VJsqe)

570 she really was a beautiful woman. Apparently that beauty allowed her to never know any consequences or boundaries.

She looks ugly now.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (AkbRF)

571 466 454 a-loo-min-ee-um

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 x3:36 PM (VJsqe)

The aussies mangle that one.
----
Well no, all the English-speaking world uses Aluminium except the USA. Look at a list of chemical elements and the -ium is the common way to name them.
Italian: Aluminio

Posted by: Ciampino at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (qfLjt)

572 Oh, dear. Heard has not only had her fundamental rights violated, but all women everywhere have been thrust back to the stone age.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (5zVb8)

573 558 Ok, so who defamed whoms???

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (8yWvW)

she defamed him, his agent defamed her

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (CqHIp)

574
this is delusional, the media has pushed her allegations uncritically.

one of the rare times we disagree...i didn`t see much of it but what i saw from the media(women in particular) was a full-on assault on heard...

Posted by: uncouth jay marks at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (GT8Ln)

575
Shit like that enviro-weenie attacking the Mona Lisa reminds me of the Taliban smashing the Bamyan Buddhas. Primitive, yawning ignorance and vandalism that stands out as a shining example of how fucking stupid people can be when they really, really try.

Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (FIJ+3)

576
Why is everyone calling her Turd? You make her sound like a nutcase who shits on things. Be better.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (ij5Y6)

577 Accidental drug overdose?

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenko Solutions at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (bKoeu)

578 I also see myself as a younger Taylor Lorenz.

Posted by: Methuselah at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (0KuZa)

579 that's the last time I let a guy fuck me in the ass
Posted by: Amber at June 01, 2022 03:45 PM (us2H3)

You know you want it.
Posted by: James Franco at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (4I/2K)

Come here, girl. Hop into the trunk of this Honda Civic.

Posted by: Johnny Depp at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (ufFY8)

580 that's a great idea, I see myself as a younger Taylor Lorenz.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)

dying over here, omg

Posted by: Peaches at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (14URa)

581
How badly do you want to revive your "career"?

Posted by: Hollywood Producers at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (h6/n7)

Oh gawd not this again

Posted by: The Ficus at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (mZOHK)

582 IIRC compensatory damages are not taxed.

Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (lKAqb)

583 First local gas station to break the $5 mark happened just minutes ago.
____________

People would be cheering if that happened in California.

"Yay! Gas prices are coming down!"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (YqDXo)

584 >>>Why is everyone calling her Turd? You make her sound like a nutcase who shits on things. Be better.

lol

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (AkbRF)

585 I have a scene from The Jerk in mind. Amber is sitting disheveled in a bathrobe, repo guys are toting all her shit out, and she's writing endless checks and repeating, "One dollar, and NINE CENTS."

Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (HmZuC)

586 Have any of you Morons here defamed me? I mean I certainly could use 15 Million.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (Irn0L)

587 572 Oh, dear. Heard has not only had her fundamental rights violated, but all women everywhere have been thrust back to the stone age.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (5zVb

=========

Call to arms? I mean...if women are gonna get hit on the back of the head with large clubs and dragged back into caves, a call to arms seems to be in the cards.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (LvTSG)

588
Johnny Cash.

Heard.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (0KuZa)

589 Where does he go to get his best character back?

---------

In a bottle of Captain Jack?

Posted by: ShainS -- Welcome to the boneyard, we got fun & games & Starveflation aims at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (xmNAu)

590 Don't you know, about the Turd?

Well, everyone knows about the Turd.

Ta Turds the word.

Posted by: Peter Griffin at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (Zz0t1)

591 LONDON, May 6—A Polish-born physician who performed surgical operations as an inmate at the Auschwitz concentration camp 21 years ago won a libel suit today against Leon Uris and the publishers of his novel “Exodus.”

May 6, 1964.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (MWtnB)

592 I choose to conquer your pepperbox-pistol-shaped commonwealth. I want to own it. I want to make Massachusettsians unhappy and gruel-fed. I want the Kennedys to simper over their goddamn long weird teeth. I want the Cape as my playground, and I want to Vineyard-Est-Delendo the Vineyard.

You will assist me.
Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM

*fistbump*

Posted by: Hollywood Producers at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (h6/n7)

593 He gets $15m, she gets $2m. But he's over in UK touring with Jeff Beck and partying with Kate Moss. She's, well, still just a nasty little poopstain.

*

I know she'll blow through it in 3 to 6 months, but if I were to suddenly get $2M neither my wife or I would ever need to work again, and the kids would probably be fairly financially secure.

Wait, never mind. I was thinking about two years ago.

$2m would still help towards retirement, though.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (c1p4Y)

594 I see myself as a younger Taylor Lorenz.
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)
---
In the mirror?

Posted by: Axeman at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (OaZlZ)

595 >>How badly do you want to revive your "career"?
Posted by: Hollywood Producers at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (h6/n7)

(Takes several numbers for the queue, hands them to sullen Aztec field-hands)

"I not know how you say Feliz Navidad come early, but, it come early. You're welcome. ZOD IMPERIAL."

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (Q/6pY)

596 Damn, it. Off, foul Hollyweird sock!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (h6/n7)

597 572 Oh, dear. Heard has not only had her fundamental rights violated, but all women everywhere have been thrust back to the stone age.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (5zVb

They do paint their faces, pierce things to put in shiny rocks, and like wearing animal skins.

Did women ever leave the stone age?

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (Y5qcH)

598 This just in: Mike Lindell is coming out with a new product, plastic sheets from the Amber Heard collection.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (YqDXo)

599 Will Amber swallow while she returns to turning tricks in Capistrano?

Posted by: Maj. Roger Healey at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (P5wHg)

600 570 she really was a beautiful woman. Apparently that beauty allowed her to never know any consequences or boundaries.

She looks ugly now.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (AkbRF)

When all you have is your Aquaman paycheck and we all know that Aquaman sucks.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (N39Ws)

601 It would be an immense task to garner less interest in this matter.

Posted by: irongrampa at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (KATBx)

602 Foresight: how do it work?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:43 PM (YqDXo)

You line it up with the rear sight notch and then, and this is important, squeeze and do not jerk the trigger

Posted by: Oregon at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (xhaym)

603 that's a great idea, I see myself as a younger Taylor Lorenz.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)

Remember to work on your 'crazy eyes' look in your spare time.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (Zz0t1)

604 Heard signed for remake of Shawshanked"

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (us2H3)

605 It was a half penny award in the Uris case.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (MWtnB)

606 Should've called me, honey. I know people.

Posted by: Mike Sussman, Esq. at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (c/0XQ)

607 i posted their dueling statements

Amber Heard's statement was just a picture of a brownloaf on a settee

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (AkbRF)

608 I know she'll blow through it in 3 to 6 months, but if I were to suddenly get $2M neither my wife or I would ever need to work again, and the kids would probably be fairly financially secure.

Wait, never mind. I was thinking about two years ago.

$2m would still help towards retirement, though.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (c1p4Y)
____________

You could fill up your car a couple times with that!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (YqDXo)

609 When all you have is your Aquaman paycheck and we all know that Aquaman sucks.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (N39Ws)

Jason Momoa is cute, though.

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (DRSnL)

610 Oh, dear. Heard has not only had her fundamental rights violated, but all women everywhere have been thrust back to the stone age.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (5zVb

If by her fundamental rights you mean her uvula, yes, I've violated it. Many times.

Posted by: Johnny Depp at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (4I/2K)

611 594 I see myself as a younger Taylor Lorenz.
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)
---
In the mirror?

Posted by: Axeman at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (OaZlZ)

I'd f*ck me.

Posted by: Taylor Lorenz at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (mZOHK)

612 I bet Depp starts getting movie roles again

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (kf6Ak)

613 554 >>>544 Since she earned a mere 5M for Aquaman...I'd say she's hurtin'

she earned a Mera 5M?
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:47 PM (AkbRF)

ace, the Aquaman of cruelty.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (08ncd)

614 You found me beautiful once.

Posted by: Amber Hurrd at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (0KuZa)

615 Sorry this is one of these things, I have sacrificed knowing about. Just here for the top 10.
Posted by: Picric at June 01, 2022 02:59 PM (13tTk)

Ditto. Just here for the Top 650.

Posted by: Voter theater. at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (pgcLn)

616 The Justice League will be fighting the Norwegian Rat in their upcoming film.

Posted by: Sasquatch. the Original Trans-Wookie at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (q/eFR)

617 Are her tuds really amber?
Could be a liver problem...

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (kf6Ak)

618 612 I bet Depp starts getting movie roles again
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (kf6Ak)

===========

I bet he starts banging venomous starlets out to use him to climb the ladder of power in Hollywood again.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (LvTSG)

619 Amber's statement is pile of shit crazy.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (Zz0t1)

620 "the mountain of evidence", uh, what evidence, Turd? If there was mountains of evidence against Deep for "abusing" you, why did they find your statements defamatory?

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (Rl7KJ)

621 Since she earned a mere 5M for Aquaman...
........

beats the $20 in town she's going to be getting.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (v0R5T)

622
People would be cheering if that happened in California.

"Yay! Gas prices are coming down!"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (YqDXo)

A few months ago, a local station that was temporarily closed for renovations had a fake price of $6.66/gallon on their digital sign.

That price ain't quite as fake now...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (wtvvX)

623 612 I bet Depp starts getting movie roles again
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (kf6Ak)

I am split on him, he seems like an ok guy by the people who seem to be intensely loyal to him. I cannot throw stones on his choice of women. Still, for the most part, I have found his movies to be hit and miss.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at June 01, 2022 03:54 PM (08ncd)

624 Heard to star in thriller remake

"FECES"

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:54 PM (us2H3)

625 Geebus, I filled up yesterday for 4.15. Same place today 4.67. FJB

Posted by: Infidel at June 01, 2022 03:54 PM (E0NVW)

626 How exactly does the ACLU come to be involved in this? What is the putative civil liberties issue?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM (YqDXo)

That is the problem with the FUCKING ACLU.
They jumped on the MeToo bandwagon, and colluded with Heard, writing that thing and making her an 'ambassasor' for domestic violence. The op-ed also coincided with her appearance in Aquaman, which came out that weekend.

The ACLU is a cynical political organization, civil rights and due process be damned.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:54 PM (ufFY8)

627 Hey Amber, I'd pay you a million to shit in my bed. Two mil if you shit on me.

Posted by: Hunter Biden at June 01, 2022 03:54 PM (WKPeU)

628 I want to see a statement put out by the bed who's the real victim in all of this.

Posted by: banana Dream, now 40% less explicit at June 01, 2022 03:54 PM (0fVbu)

629 She bet, and lost.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (Vr12I)

630 You found me beautiful once.
Posted by: Amber Hurrd

Your jawline says no.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (IEa8U)

631 Geebus, I filled up yesterday for 4.15. Same place today 4.67. FJB
Posted by: Infidel at June 01, 2022 03:54 PM (E0NVW)

Holy hell.

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (DRSnL)

632 Heard issues "I'm the real victim" statement. Comes comedically close to the "Otter Defense"

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (G0vdT)

633 629 She bet, and lost.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (Vr12I)

-------
I bet she's steaming right now.

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (VJsqe)

634 What the hell is the MeToo Movement?

Posted by: TRAAAANS!!!! at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (0KuZa)

635 The ACLU is a cynical political organization, civil rights and due process be damned.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at
==

You misspelled communist.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (WKPeU)

636 How much would Amber Heard make on Only Fans?

Posted by: mr tmz at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (rJ48h)

637 When/if this topic runs its course, ace, that 702 query/FBI office & portal in Perkins/Coie offices thing seems like something. It's been known that "contractors" had been allowed to use the system, and the FISC found 85% of the searches were non-compliant with the regs.

This is truly stunning, and while not entirely new and while the obvious implications were long ago talked about, including here, may merit a discussion.

Posted by: rhomboid at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (OTzUX)

638 The fuck.....did Depp travel back to 1948 to type that letter or did he send it via teletype?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (Zz0t1)

639 She also posted a picture of a brownloaf on an ottoman.

I laughed.

Posted by: spindrift at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (h5TKJ)

640 Geebus, I filled up yesterday for 4.15. Same place today 4.67. FJB

*

Heard something on the radio about it earlier this week. We're putting MORE sanctions on Russia because the first ones worked so well, and we should be seeing similar impacts on our energy prices by the end of the week.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (c1p4Y)

641 It would be an immense task to garner less interest in this matter.
Posted by: irongrampa at June 01, 2022 03:51 PM (KATBx)
.......

But you gotta admit, the poop jokes are awesome.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (v0R5T)

642 How exactly does the ACLU come to be involved in this? What is the putative civil liberties issue?
___________

In 2016, when Heard and Depp were divorcing, some people online were accusing Heard of being a gold-digger who had only married Depp for the money.

To counter those claims, Heard publicly announced that she would pay her entire divorce settlement to two charities: the ACLU, and a children's hospital.

Heard received around $7 million (in cash, not including other benefits) in the divorce settlement, so she owed the ACLU $3.5 million.

In 2018, the ACLU, not having received the promised $3.5 million from Heard, decided to offer Heard an ACLU ambassadorship (probably as a way to prod Heard to honor her promise to pay them half her divorce settlement). Heard accepted, and agreed to put her name on the WaPo editorial that the ACLU would write for her on the issue of domestic abuse.

And you know the rest.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (MvHI3)

643 Err, if she owes him $10,350,000.00 (10 + 5 with the 5 capped) and he owes her $2,000,000.00, that means she pays him $8,350,000.00 and he pays her nothing.

She lost big time.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (MWtnB)

644 >>You will assist me.
Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:48 PM
*fistbump*
Posted by: Hollywood Producers at June 01, 2022 03:50 PM (h6/n7)

...and I want a closeup...no, not one of those nervous slow-zoom preparatory things, an in-your-face racecar holy-cow-that-was-assertive closeup of a gigantic farmer fist entering the anus of Massachusetts and pulling its tongue back and out for great triumph. They inflicted the Kennedys, they voted for McGovern, they can't drive, they can't speak English, Bawstin, the Red Sox, add yours here, it's a mess. New Jersey used to be the anus of the world. Evidence puts New Jersey as the understudy to Massachusetts.

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (Q/6pY)

645 Looks like he typed his statement on a n old typewriter.

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (8yWvW)

646 I bet he starts banging venomous starlets out to use him to climb the ladder of power in Hollywood again.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (LvTSG)
_______________

There's another kind?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (YqDXo)

647
So... somebody "thrust" Amber back to the Stone Age. But it wasn't Johnny.

Posted by: Elon M at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (FIJ+3)

648 636 How much would Amber Heard make on Only Fans?
Posted by: mr tmz at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (rJ48h)

I think we're about to find out in the next few weeks.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (N39Ws)

649 How absurd though is Amber Heard getting $2 million if you even want to believe it was a "lie".

I understand Depp nets out the winner, but Depp had a legit claim where it was obvious he lost work over HEard's abuse claims.

Heard didn't get one less role over Depp's team making this allegation.

Juries really are stupid.

Posted by: Victory at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (oR9di)

650 636 How much would Amber Heard make on Only Fans?
Posted by: mr tmz at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (rJ48h)

-------
How funny would it be if Depp signed up for her Only Fans?

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (VJsqe)

651 She also posted a picture of a brownloaf on an ottoman.

I laughed.
Posted by: spindrift at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (h5TKJ)

It WOULD be better than Rothko, however.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (Zz0t1)

652 Heard to star in new blockbuster

ATM

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (us2H3)

653 Posted by: mr tmz at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (rJ48h

Why? Do you want to be a subscriber?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (l7p9i)

654 The fuck.....did Depp travel back to 1948 to type that letter or did he send it via teletype?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (Zz0t1)

He had Dan Rather whip it up for him.

Posted by: spindrift at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (h5TKJ)

655 @626: "The ACLU is a cynical political organization ..."

Nowadays, their tweets and press releases read like a woke mad libs generator. They almost make the SPLC seem restrained by comparison.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (4NlP1)

656 638 The fuck.....did Depp travel back to 1948 to type that letter or did he send it via teletype?

hang on a mo. i suspect it can be replicated using word with the default settings...

Posted by: frequently kenneth at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (sGtp+)

657 In related news Amber Heards agent announced that she has been offered the role of Turd Ferguson in the upcoming Norm McDonald biopic.

Posted by: Mishdog at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (uwW33)

658 Same. But coworkers seem to be excited about it.

I'll readily admit the pop culture ain't my strong suit. I can understand how poking fun at this spectacle can be amusing, as we have witnessed here. Just sayin' that this doesn't even budge my interest needle. In the grand scheme of things, it is inconsequential. Having said that, the comments on this thread have been a hoot. It's all good in the HQ.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (Xrfse)

659 >>>652 Heard to star in new blockbuster

ATM

AC/DC needs to do the theme song, they need to do a song called "ATM"

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (AkbRF)

660 Where does Justice Kavanaugh go to get his reputation back? He was smeared and lied about in a very public forum.

Posted by: Czech Chick at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (haWye)

661 I fail to see how airing his dirty laundry publicly will have a positive impact on his children....was it necessary? They live in the hellish nightmare of having an addict as a father...they didn't need the world to know.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (sI15f)

662 The fuck.....did Depp travel back to 1948 to type that letter or did he send it via teletype?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (Zz0t1)

I picture him with a hat and long cigarette holder delivering it to a private detective.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (0KuZa)

663 She bet, and lost.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (Vr12I)

Never bet on the brown shark.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (nByzo)

664 ..and I want a closeup...no, not one of those nervous slow-zoom preparatory things, an in-your-face racecar holy-cow-that-was-assertive closeup of a gigantic farmer fist entering the anus of Massachusetts and pulling its tongue back and out for great triumph. They inflicted the Kennedys, they voted for McGovern, they can't drive, they can't speak English, Bawstin, the Red Sox, add yours here, it's a mess. New Jersey used to be the anus of the world. Evidence puts New Jersey as the understudy to Massachusetts.
Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (Q/6pY)
______________

Bostonian: "Yipwot."

Me: "Huh?"

Bostonian: "You know, Logan Yipwot."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (YqDXo)

665 Time to go home and fuck the prom queen!

Posted by: Ben Chew, Depp's attorney at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (4I/2K)

666
She crapped out.

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (AkbRF)

667 ATM

AC/DC needs to do the theme song, they need to do a song called "ATM"
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (AkbRF)
___________

Or the Village People.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (YqDXo)

668 I look forward to seeing Amber Heard in commercials for Lumber Liquidators and Omaha Steaks.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (HmZuC)

669 "... a right I thought I had as an American - to speak freely and openly"...

No, you stupid rectum-obsessed Anal-stage Freudian shit show. You do not have the right to freely and openly lie about a person with the intent of ruining their life.

You also do not have the right to freely and openly shoot anyone you please just because you have the right to bear arms. You don't have the right to freely and openly take things from a store without paying for it just because you have the right to own property.

Too many malignant actors in this dumbass country need to take a step back and have a serious discussion with themselves about exactly what a "Right" is, and what it isn't.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (6FeV1)

670 If by her fundamental rights you mean her uvula, yes, I've violated it. Many times.
Posted by: Johnny Depp at June 01, 2022 03:52 PM (4I/2K)

She texted to JD "my throat is yours".

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (ufFY8)

671 She crapped out.
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (AkbRF)

-----
Runs in the family

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 04:00 PM (VJsqe)

672 IIRC compensatory damages are not taxed.
Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at June 01, 2022 03:49 PM (lKAqb)

But debt forgiveness is. If Johnny is vindictive he will forgive anything beyond lawyer fees AND REPORT IT TO CA STATE

Can you imagine getting a notice to pay taxes on debt forgiveness of a million dollars?

Posted by: Oregon at June 01, 2022 04:00 PM (xhaym)

673 Old and busted: UPS - What can brown do for you.

New: Amber Turd: Look what brown did for me.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at June 01, 2022 04:00 PM (N39Ws)

674
Heard didn't get one less role over Depp's team making this allegation.

Juries really are stupid.

Posted by: Victory at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (oR9di)

Yeah it's weird. I feel like that may have been the political sop but defamation is defamation (if they could see it, which to me, eh)

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 04:00 PM (0KuZa)

675 646 I bet he starts banging venomous starlets out to use him to climb the ladder of power in Hollywood again.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 03:53 PM (LvTSG)
_______________

There's another kind?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at June 01, 2022 03:56 PM (YqDXo)

=======

The innocent ones who just got off the bus.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:00 PM (LvTSG)

676 Apparently I did die of dysentary

Posted by: Kindltot at June 01, 2022 04:00 PM (xhaym)

677 Stupid case. And I'm glad I'm not one of those that spent more than a few minutes paying attention to it. What a waste of time involving two dumb people

Posted by: BillBixby at June 01, 2022 04:00 PM (AdSYY)

678 645 Looks like he typed his statement on a n old typewriter.

haven't you heard? retro is in!

Posted by: kulak anachronda, pecking comments out on a commodore 64 at June 01, 2022 04:00 PM (sGtp+)

679 664

Submitted as evidence, exhibit 644, your honor.

Accepted.

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 04:01 PM (Q/6pY)

680 I bet she's steaming right now.
Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (VJsqe)

*golfclap*

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 01, 2022 04:01 PM (4I/2K)

681 Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at
==

You misspelled communist.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (WKPeU)

I thought communist, believe me.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 01, 2022 04:01 PM (ufFY8)

682 Maybe he has Hunter Thompson's old typewriter .

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 04:01 PM (8yWvW)

683 OT: What is the derivation of 'Blockbuster'?

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at June 01, 2022 04:01 PM (08ncd)

684 How long until Depp is sticking his crazy stick into Jennifer Lawrence's insanity slot?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (Zz0t1)

685 627 Hey Amber, I'd pay you a million to shit in my bed. Two mil if you shit on me.
Posted by: Hunter Biden at June 01, 2022 03:54 PM (WKPeU)

That’s not how this works bro

Posted by: Kevin Morris at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (qwO6y)

686 the jury awarded Turd a " " " deuce " " " in damages on Count Number Two.

Coincidence? Or Respecc?

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (AkbRF)

687 682 Maybe he has Hunter Thompson's old typewriter .
Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 04:01 PM (8yWvW)

=========

$5 says he spent at least $2 million to spend a night alone with Thompson's corpse at least 2 times.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (LvTSG)

688 The most connected, won.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (Vr12I)

689 Did Captain Jack have a poopdeck on the Black Pearl?

I believe this can all be explained.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (BP3/z)

690 652 Heard to star in new blockbuster

ATM

AC/DC needs to do the theme song, they need to do a song called "ATM"
Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (AkbRF)

Hershey Highway to Hell

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (us2H3)

691 Anybody get the vibe that Amber was Loony Tunes?

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (TPLET)

692 Depp is still a twat for his John Wilkes Booth/Trump remarks, but her twatness exceeds that .

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenko Solutions at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (bKoeu)

693 614 You found me beautiful once.

I forgot my line.

Posted by: Ash from Army of Darkness at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (p+1gI)

694 Amber will have a tough time going forward trying to convince her new beau that she doesn't do butt stuff.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (N39Ws)

695
I'm sure there're plenty of custom grunge typesets of courier and clarendon, etc., that you can use if you're a pretentious Hollywood douche like Depp. Bet I could find one in fifteen minutes, for free.

Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (FIJ+3)

696 684 How long until Depp is sticking his crazy stick into Jennifer Lawrence's insanity slot?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (Zz0t1)

She did one good movie.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (Vr12I)

697 the jury awarded Turd a " " " deuce " " " in damages on Count Number Two.

Coincidence? Or Respecc?

Posted by: ace at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (AkbRF)

That's like the secrete handshake of the Illumipotti.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (nByzo)

698 @682: "Maybe he has Hunter Thompson's old typewriter."

I'd all but guarantee this is the right answer.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (4NlP1)

699 638 The fuck.....did Depp travel back to 1948 to type that letter or did he send it via teletype?

hang on a mo. i suspect it can be replicated using word with the default settings...

Posted by: frequently kenneth at June 01, 2022 03:57 PM (sGtp+)

The font is Aadler, free ware truetype font.

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (OgrpQ)

700 I look forward to seeing Amber Heard in commercials for Lumber Liquidators and Omaha Steaks.
Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (HmZuC)
.........

Colace.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (v0R5T)

701 Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 03:58 PM (sI15f)

His 'Kids' are 18 and 21, and LIVED THROUGH ALL THIS.

Plus? He just added to their inheritance if she ever pays.

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (oHd/0)

702 You know who this verdict helps?

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt at June 01, 2022 04:04 PM (0KuZa)

703 (lol, i meant actors as in "people who do things in general", not "people who get paid to say what they're told to say when the director yells at them")

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 01, 2022 04:04 PM (6FeV1)

704 689 Did Captain Jack have a poopdeck on the Black Pearl?

I believe this can all be explained.
Posted by: Dr. Bone at June 01, 2022 04:02 PM (BP3/z)

-------
Depp was too busy cavorting around the snizzenmast to pay attention.

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 04:04 PM (VJsqe)

705 680 I bet she's steaming right now.
Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 03:55 PM (VJsqe)

well, word on the street, she's got crabs

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 04:04 PM (us2H3)

706 @695: "Bet I could find one in fifteen minutes, for free."

Yes, you could, but then they wouldn't be custom typesets.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 04:04 PM (4NlP1)

707 700 I look forward to seeing Amber Heard in commercials for Lumber Liquidators and Omaha Steaks.
Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (HmZuC)
.........

Colace.
Posted by: wth

Cologuard

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (H5Jj8)

708 You know someone has money when he has a dedicated room in one of his mansions for a typewriter to sit for years waiting for a legal case to allow him to present a letter publicly so that he can add to his persona for tabloids.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (c1p4Y)

709 Amber will have a tough time going forward trying to convince her new beau that she doesn't do butt stuff.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (N39Ws)

You kidding me? I saw the turd. Her shitter stretches out quite nicely.

Posted by: Her New Beau at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (Zz0t1)

710 She did one good movie.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (Vr12I)

The one where she was riding one of those toy horses in a Target, which garnered lots of attention for only God-knows-why?

Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (Rl7KJ)

711
Dammit, Teh Ewok got the evil number.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (n+4am)

712 Dont give a fuuuuuuuuck

Posted by: Bandana Dee at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (SCrUl)

713 Amber Heard needs a smile. A hug. A warm embrace. A glass of champagne. A foot-massage. A spa. Reiki. Line-caught seared tuna on a bed of white beans and broccolini.

And then she needs, umm, employment.

Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (Q/6pY)

714 She's whacked. he's whacked.

But that's Hollywood.

The difference is she attempted to destroy his career and life with a bunch of false charges.

Posted by: Inspector kemp at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (+DS2f)

715 707 700 I look forward to seeing Amber Heard in commercials for Lumber Liquidators and Omaha Steaks.
Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (HmZuC)
.........

Colace.
Posted by: wth

Cologuard

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (H5Jj

She'll fit well in that box

Posted by: Donner and Co countdown at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (ynpvh)

716 -"The disappointment I feel today is beyond words...yada yada"

Notice they always spew a load of verbal diarrhea after saying,
"Beyond words or I have no words?"
Always cracks me up.

Posted by: Speller at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (pSotA)

717 She did one good movie.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (Vr12I)

Which one?

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (DRSnL)

718 Yes, Amber lost, but what really matters is the facts we all learned.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (0KuZa)

719 713 Amber Heard needs a smile. A hug. A warm embrace. A glass of champagne. A foot-massage. A spa. Reiki. Line-caught seared tuna on a bed of white beans and broccolini.

And then she needs, umm, employment.
Posted by: ZOD at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (Q/6pY)

=========

"You are perfect as you are, Amber. Change nothing."
-Amber's life coach, right now

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (LvTSG)

720 710 She did one good movie.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (Vr12I)

The one where she was riding one of those toy horses in a Target, which garnered lots of attention for only God-knows-why?
Posted by: Thrawn at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (Rl7KJ)

Nope not that one.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (Vr12I)

721 "Rosebud"

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenko Solutions at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (bKoeu)

722 Pretty sure Amber does anal.

Posted by: Puddinhead at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (8kMmX)

723 HAIL ZOD!

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (H5Jj8)

724
Plus? He just added to their inheritance if she ever pays.
Posted by: Romeo13 at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (oHd/0)

If there's anything left when that time comes. That dude blows through money like Michael Bloomberg running for president.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (Zz0t1)

725 711
Dammit, Teh Ewok got the evil number.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (n+4am)

I demand a recount!

Posted by: Peaches at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (14URa)

726 717 She did one good movie.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (Vr12I)

Which one?
Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (DRSnL)

Winter's Bone.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (Vr12I)

727 Amber wont be able to loaf after this TITPB

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (us2H3)

728 Off cannibalistic sock...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (ynpvh)

729 I liked American Hustle.

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (0KuZa)

730 Plus? He just added to their inheritance if she ever pays.
___________

LOL, he'll never get a dime from her.

And like the ACLU and the children's hospital found out the hard way, Amber doesn't pay her debts.

She lies about paying them, but she doesn't pay them.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (MvHI3)

731 These comments..... LOL

Posted by: Miss Issippi at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (sI15f)

732 Dont give a fuuuuuuuuck

Posted by: Bandana Dee at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (SCrUl)

Look at it! LOOK AT IT!

Bow down before it before it destroys you!

Posted by: Amber's Turd at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (nByzo)

733 Amber Heard for Dulcolax:

"Ever had constipation when you want to crap the bed? I have. Dulcolax provides predictable relief I swear by. You can too! Dulcolax."

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (G0vdT)

734 Bunny boiler, still hiding behind the woman card. Surreal.

Posted by: Indignacio Vindacatorem at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (oWBc3)

735 Not only did he win the damages game, he won the statement game. That font is awesome. If he had it actually typed it out and posted a picture, even better.

If he had used Jeff Bridges typewriter from Jagged Edge that would have been even betterest!

Posted by: Fritz (not Fritz) at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (IIOyJ)

736
Yes, you could, but then they wouldn't be custom typesets.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at June 01, 2022 04:04 PM (4NlP1)

True, but I meant that the person who made the font sets "customized" existing ones - not that they are actual custom sets with strictly limited usage rights. But I (honestly) appreciate the hair-splitting, though.

Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (FIJ+3)

737 Mr. Depp,
So, a lie travels the globe before the truth gets out of bed. Welcome to the age of the telegraph. I suppose you can imagine what power hungry people could do with this technology.

Posted by: Samuel Clemens at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (J37Lz)

738 I look forward to seeing Amber Heard in commercials for Lumber Liquidators and Omaha Steaks.
Posted by: Citizen Cake at June 01, 2022 03:59 PM (HmZuC)
.........
Colace.
Posted by: wth
--
Cologuard
Posted by: nurse ratched

I think that's Katie Couric gig.
Based on her past performance it's the right fit.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (JzBU4)

739 Biden: Nobody could have known shuttering the Abbott facility would be a problem.

https://bit.ly/3NNfxiV

Wait, didn't Jen Psucky Psucky say Biden's been on top of this for months?

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (i0wNm)

740 Biden makes Admiral Linda Fagan the first woman to head a military branch as Coast Guard commandant

and says challenges include fighting climate change and over-fishing

Posted by: Braenyard at June 01, 2022 04:08 PM (9rYNN)

741 who's is next ??

these Hollywood shitfests are kewl

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 04:08 PM (us2H3)

742 Don't get "Fuck FJB".

Actually it's Fuck FJB's voters, and everyone who was part - active or passive - of the systemic collapse that might have stolen the election.

Yeah, that's haaaaard and unpleasant and stuff, but at least it's not delusional escapism.

Posted by: rhomboid at June 01, 2022 04:08 PM (OTzUX)

743 I think Johnny can afford a better font now.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 04:08 PM (jYQlA)

744 Winter's Bone.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (Vr12I)

I didn't see that. I liked Silver Linings Playbook, but that was in spite of her.

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:08 PM (DRSnL)

745 739 Biden: Nobody could have known shuttering the Abbott facility would be a problem.

https://bit.ly/3NNfxiV

Wait, didn't Jen Psucky Psucky say Biden's been on top of this for months?

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (i0wNm)

Another pair of turds

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 04:08 PM (ynpvh)

746 He should make another pirates movie, earn a billion. Will probably blow it on pot.

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 04:09 PM (8yWvW)

747 If I never hear another word about these two for the rest of my life, it'll still be too soon.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at June 01, 2022 04:09 PM (TU8Tj)

748 She did one good movie.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (Vr12I)

Which one?

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:05 PM (DRSnL)

Children of the Corn
Clear and Present Danger
Fire Down Below
Five Easy Pieces
Somethings Gotta Give
Like Water for Chocolate

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at June 01, 2022 04:09 PM (OgrpQ)

749 740 Biden makes Admiral Linda FAGan the first woman to head a military branch as Coast Guard commandant

Posted by: Braenyard at June 01, 2022

Pride month again!!!

Posted by: ... at June 01, 2022 04:09 PM (0KuZa)

750
I think Johnny can afford a better font now.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at June 01, 2022 04:08 PM (jYQlA)

Yeah. He's a Garamond man, as of today.

Posted by: @TheRealWilliamHayes at June 01, 2022 04:09 PM (FIJ+3)

751 >> Winter's Bone.

Probably the best Dresden Book.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:09 PM (fM5LB)

752 744 Winter's Bone.
Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:06 PM (Vr12I)

I didn't see that. I liked Silver Linings Playbook, but that was in spite of her.
Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:08 PM (DRSnL)

=========

I really like Passengers. It's final third becomes rather typical special effects spectacle, but everything up to that is surprisingly smart.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:09 PM (LvTSG)

753 The only winner here is Elon. Do not marry crazy

Posted by: Jmel at June 01, 2022 04:09 PM (bVhJi)

754
Who wants to smoke some crack and fook on camera? I can text dad

Posted by: Hunter at June 01, 2022 04:10 PM (WWiMW)

755 who the actual fuck CARES????

Posted by: yumper at June 01, 2022 04:10 PM (phkng)

756 So a banged up damaged typewriter that is slightly out of alignment is "custom typeset"

Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 04:10 PM (rjyzh)

757 >>Amber Heard for Dulcolax:

It doesn't MAKE you shit the bed.

It makes shitting the bed EASIER.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:10 PM (fM5LB)

758 Not only did he win the damages game, he won the statement game.

TODAY IS THE DAY YOU ALMOST CAUGHT CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 01, 2022 04:10 PM (Ior/p)

759 Proposal:

Step 1: Put dick in crazy.
Step 2: Set up crazy with male friend immediately afterwards.
Step 3: Encourage marriage.
Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)

760 739 Biden: Nobody could have known shuttering the Abbott facility would be a problem.

https://bit.ly/3NNfxiV

Wait, didn't Jen Psucky Psucky say Biden's been on top of this for months?
Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (i0wNm)
------------

Did anybody think of asking Abbott management a few questions.

1. How will this shutdown affect the supply of baby formula?

2. Forget it. All you need is the answer from #1 to know this was going to be "a big fu*king deal".

Posted by: WisRich at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (G0vdT)

761 759 Proposal:

Step 1: Put dick in crazy.
Step 2: Set up crazy with male friend immediately afterwards.
Step 3: Encourage marriage.
Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)

Where do the boiled rabbits come it?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (ynpvh)

762 Poignant if that is indeed typed up on Thompson's typewriter, since that is how those two got together - making Rum Diaries.

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (8yWvW)

763 She would really put the 'go' in Dr. Zhivago

Posted by: 496 at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (VJsqe)

764 >>>Pretty sure Amber does anal.

Posted by: Puddinhead

>Yes, but like a wildcat, she's going to fight you for it.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (BP3/z)

765 >>Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

4b: Share that Memory with your friend. Often.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (fM5LB)

766 761 Where do the boiled rabbits come it?
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (ynpvh)

=========

That is male friend's problem.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)

767 If it was done on a typewriter, there would be several strike throughs.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - look forward at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (MtJ+T)

768 Proposal:

Step 1: Put dick in crazy.
Step 2: Set up crazy with male friend immediately afterwards.
Step 3: Encourage marriage.
Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (LvTSG)

Yeah, but are you 1 and 4, or are you the target of 2 and 3? It'll keep you awake at night.

Posted by: Amber's Turd at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (nByzo)

769 1000 comments on this. Heh.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (Vr12I)

770 So a banged up damaged typewriter that is slightly out of alignment is "custom typeset"

Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 04:10 PM (rjyzh)

I am not sure it is damaged, I think it is uneven strike.
Clearly he has been practicing, I can't get that even a line as that on mine

Posted by: Kindltot at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (xhaym)

771 So they're giving her a respecc?

She's gonna change to a frost mage now?

Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain, Cryptid Anarchist at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (1agTa)

772 Drawing a line under the whole affair.

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (8yWvW)

773 Johnny needs to lose some weight. He's looking paunchy.

Posted by: Puddinhead at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (8kMmX)

774 765 >>Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

4b: Share that Memory with your friend. Often.
Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (fM5LB)

==========

"Dad...I've got a great video to share with you!"
-Hunter Biden

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (LvTSG)

775 >>Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

4b: Share that Memory with your friend. Often.
Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (fM5LB)

Why do you hate your friends?

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (DRSnL)

776
#MePoo

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (HFwZY)

777 Tell me about the boiled rabbits, George.

Posted by: kraken at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (Vr12I)

778 775 >>Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

4b: Share that Memory with your friend. Often.
Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (fM5LB)

Why do you hate your friends?
Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (DRSnL)

========

This is how men show affection for each other.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (LvTSG)

779 693 614 You found me beautiful once.

I forgot my line.
Posted by: Ash from Army of Darkness at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (p+1gI)

CLATU, VERATA, N.....

Posted by: Inogame at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (53oGX)

780 #2 should be easy to do

*amber's voice"

Posted by: REDACTED at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (us2H3)

781 Amber does everything. That is why she is so popular.

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (8yWvW)

782 "Excuse me.....is anyone shitting here ?"

Posted by: JT at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (arJlL)

783 #MePoo

Posted by: Soothsayer, the #1 most trusted name in news at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (HFwZY)

Threadwinner.

Posted by: Amber's Turd at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (nByzo)

784 ... but ! there is always a catch with that sort....

Posted by: runner at June 01, 2022 04:14 PM (8yWvW)

785 767 If it was done on a typewriter, there would be several strike throughs.

you haven't noticed that he's x'ed out the "my" before "career"?

Posted by: kulak anachronda at June 01, 2022 04:14 PM (sGtp+)

786 Where do the boiled rabbits come it?
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (ynpvh)
++++
Parallel with step 4.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 04:14 PM (5zVb8)

787 You found me beautiful once.

I forgot my line.
Posted by: Ash from Army of Darkness at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (p+1gI)

CLATU, VERATA, N.....

Posted by: Inogame at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (53oGX)

Ya, but you got real ugly.

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at June 01, 2022 04:14 PM (OgrpQ)

788 778 775 >>Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

4b: Share that Memory with your friend. Often.
Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (fM5LB)

Why do you hate your friends?
Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (DRSnL)

This is how men show affection for each other.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (LvTSG)

/scratches JamesMadison off Potential friends list...

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 01, 2022 04:14 PM (oHd/0)

789 >>Why do you hate your friends?

TJM pretty much summed it up. There is no Love but Tough Love.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:15 PM (fM5LB)

790 She also posted a picture of a brownloaf on an ottoman.

Please don't let CBD get a copy of that.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at June 01, 2022 04:15 PM (QSjkU)

791 /scratches JamesMadison off Potential friends list...

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 01, 2022 04:14 PM (oHd/0)

He won't get it.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 04:15 PM (nByzo)

792 Girls love running the dicks through the maze.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (xoOWk)

793 What's your sleep number? Mine is 2.

Posted by: Amber Hurrd at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (0KuZa)

794 Threadwinner.
Posted by: Amber's Turd at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (nByzo)

who died and made you Queen ??

Posted by: Meghan Markle at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (us2H3)

795 4b: Share that Memory with your friend. Often.
Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (fM5LB)
-
I'ma tell Ace you called him crazy.

Posted by: garret's friend at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (FIJ+3)

796 /scratches JamesMadison off Potential friends list...

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 01, 2022 04:14 PM (oHd/0)

He won't get it.
Posted by: Comrade flounder

If it has to be explained...

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (JzBU4)

797
This post needs a theme song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj8oRRL881g

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (n+4am)

798
Amber would be great in "Turd Ferguson, the Movie".

It's a shame that Norm Macdonald has passed on and it'll never be made.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (pNxlR)

799 If it has to be explained...
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (JzBU4)

... THAT MEANS IT'S WORKING

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISSBERGER at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (6FeV1)

800 Johnny needs to lose some weight. He's looking paunchy.
Posted by: Puddinhead at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (8kMmX)
.......

maybe Amber could recommend a good laxative.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (v0R5T)

801 It's poop again

Posted by: Milquetoast mortgage-paying neighbor in flyover country at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (psG+F)

802
Yo!

Posted by: Yo! Ultra MAGA at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (WWiMW)

803 787 You found me beautiful once.

I forgot my line.
Posted by: Ash from Army of Darkness at June 01, 2022 04:03 PM (p+1gI)

CLATU, VERATA, N.....

Posted by: Inogame at June 01, 2022 04:13 PM (53oGX)

Ya, but you got real ugly.
Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at June 01, 2022 04:14 PM (OgrpQ)

Good, bad... I'm the guy with the gun...

Posted by: Inogame at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (53oGX)

804 Girls love running the dicks through the maze.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (xoOWk)

New olympic sport next summer olympics.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (nByzo)

805 Total clown show. Didn't watch one minute.

Posted by: Mean Tweets at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (BOJAx)

806 801 It's poop again
Posted by: Milquetoast mortgage-paying neighbor in flyover country at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (psG+F)

========

Don't knock regularity.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, fighting the system with Kobayashi at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (LvTSG)

807 NOOD Blaxit

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (ynpvh)

808 Johnny Depp needs an earpiece to pretend to be other people on screen, but he has a typewriter so he's a good actor.

Or something.

- people magazine

Posted by: Moron Robbie - the CEO of Moderna acknowledged the presence of patented sequence in Covid-19 at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (rjyzh)

809 I'm reading this on my phone and the x's didn't really show up.

Posted by: Notsothoreau - look forward at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (MtJ+T)

810 775 >>Step 4: Enjoy memory of putting dick in crazy.

4b: Share that Memory with your friend. Often.
Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:11 PM (fM5LB)

Why do you hate your friends?

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 01, 2022 04:12 PM (DRSnL)

Gotta be said: crazy can be a lot of fun.
That's why people keep doing it even when they KNOW better.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut IN at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (mZOHK)

811 LOL, he'll never get a dime from her.

And like the ACLU and the children's hospital found out the hard way, Amber doesn't pay her debts.

She lies about paying them, but she doesn't pay them.
Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at June 01, 2022 04:07 PM (MvHI3)

With a judgement, he can set up a wage garnishment. She'll have to work outside the US to avoid it. Like Roman Polanski.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (V6f9+)

812 Well I'm glad that's over with. Now we can get back to the serious stuff like ketchup on chicken dogs.

Posted by: fd at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (vrz2I)

813 Name the movie TJM

Posted by: Milquetoast mortgage-paying neighbor in flyover country at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (psG+F)

814 Nood.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (nByzo)

815 If it has to be explained...
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (JzBU4)

... THAT MEANS IT'S WORKING
Posted by: BEN ROETHLISSBERGER at June 01, 2022 04:16 PM (6FeV1)
++++
:: slow clap ::

Brilliantly executed. Top points.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (5zVb8)

816 nood

Blaxit?

Posted by: banana Dream, now 40% less explicit at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (0fVbu)

817
You found me beautiful once.

I forgot my line.
Posted by: Ash from Army of Darkness

Yeah, but I found you drunk, stoned or high far more often. The bloom is off your rose, darlin'.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (pNxlR)

818 37,000 People who voted in the 2020 D primary in GA voted in the GOP primary in 2022. Ratshitburger won by 27k votes.

Why the fuck can’t we ever do that to them?

Posted by: Joe XiDen at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (n8Dgh)

819 >>Ima tell Ace you called him crazy.

I don't care who you are. That shit is funny.

Posted by: garrett at June 01, 2022 04:19 PM (fM5LB)

820 we are always here for you, Amber

Posted by: PORN at June 01, 2022 04:19 PM (us2H3)

821 Gotta be said: crazy can be a lot of fun.
That's why people keep doing it even when they KNOW better.
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut IN at June 01, 2022 04:18 PM (mZOHK)

Guilty as charged.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at June 01, 2022 04:19 PM (Mf7Vh)

822 Great example of what a Borderline personality looks like. Often very pretty women.

Posted by: IanDeal at June 01, 2022 04:19 PM (MGjjz)

823 #MePoo

Posted by: Amy Schumer at June 01, 2022 04:19 PM (v0R5T)

824 Good, bad... I'm the guy with the gun...
Posted by: Inogame at June 01, 2022 04:17 PM (53oGX)

Look, you're in charge of two things: Jack and Shit. and Jack left town...

Posted by: Geoff Shotts at June 01, 2022 04:36 PM (13ivK)

825 I think it's SIPOC actually.

Posted by: Six Sigma guy from ten years ago at June 01, 2022 04:41 PM (0fVbu)

826 It's not really pooping the bed unless there are peanuts in it.

Posted by: Amber Tyrd at June 01, 2022 04:51 PM (pSotA)

827 Hey there! I've been following your web ѕitｅ for a ԝhile now and finally
got the couｒagｅ to go ahead and give you a shout out
from Atascocita Texas! Just wanted to tell you keep
uр the fantastic job!

Posted by: i at June 01, 2022 04:57 PM (JAmlX)

828 That has got to be Hunter's old typewriter. Very classy touch, these days. Legible but personal, with some added extradimensional voodoo in this case.

Posted by: pawn at June 01, 2022 04:57 PM (kYVzH)

829 So in the end she owes him 8 mill in compensatory damages and change for punitives. Plus lawyers?

Posted by: Fox2! at June 01, 2022 04:58 PM (kPLwB)

830 Her divorce settlement cover most of her costs?

Posted by: Goatweed at June 01, 2022 05:13 PM (0Q/6W)

831 Goolag's search statistics 2022-Jan. - 2022 March show the most searches were on thee two idiots. Need more about the state of FUSA?

Posted by: moe grimm at June 01, 2022 05:18 PM (48/oJ)

832 Actually, quite glad for JD. Sure it wasn't an easy decision to allow your personal life to become a courtroom spectacle.

Posted by: sidney at June 01, 2022 05:31 PM (Uy/WF)

833 I like Johnny Depp, he's made a number of films I've liked quite a lot, it's a shame what drugs, alcohol and loose women have done to him.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at June 01, 2022 03:02 PM (wx784)

Yes, that trifecta has ended many careers. I remember a crusty Sergeant (back when I was a rookie, greener than Aquaman) telling me "Booze and Broads" was deadly combination.

Depp seems like he wants to be a decent guy; his visiting children's hospitals in the guise of Jack Sparrow says something about his compassion.

Posted by: Retired Buckeye Cop is now an engineer at June 01, 2022 06:03 PM (pJWtt)

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Depp Proves Defamation, With Malice, Against Amber Turd; $10 Million in Compensatory Damages, $5 Million in Punitive DamagesJury Finds One Count of Defamation Against Johnny Depp for $2 Million

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Depp Proves Defamation, With Malice, Against Amber Turd; $10 Million in Compensatory Damages, $5 Million in Punitive Damages
Jury Finds One Count of Defamation Against Johnny Depp for $2 Million