Tuesday Overnight Open Thread (3/23/21) Short Shrift Edition

3 23 0nt.jpg

***

The Quotes of The Day


Quote I

"Basically, I just ran into the apartment to drop off a few boxes, came back out with a sticker on my car saying that my car did not meet their high standards," Dennis Day, the owner of a 2001 Honda Insight


Quote II


“He’s 100 percent fine. I don’t know if you’ve been up those steps. They’re a little tricky sometimes.” White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki

Quote III

“OK, I’m not going anywhere, darling,”NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo


Quote IV

“We are completely aligned with the idea that a person who causes harm to others in this community and elsewhere should be held accountable,”Duke University Dean of Students John Blackshear


***


“No more cowering to the gunIslamic lobby. “We need to pass gunIslamic safety legislation NOW.”

Rep. Ilhan Omar: ‘Our Communities Are Living in Terror’


Funny how I branded all Muslims just like Rep. I Screwed My Brother branded all gun owners.


***


No curiosity didn't kill the cat. It burned the bejeebers out of an idiot.

***


Just how deep is the muck and slime in The Swamp? Leaks Show CIA Pressured Yemen To Release Al-Qaeda Leader & Agency Asset Anwar al-Awlaki

Explosive new recordings released by the Houthi government of Yemen pile more earth atop mountains of existing evidence of the US government’s support for the very same terrorists it has claimed to be waging war against for nearly two decades.

The Moral Guidance Department, a branch of the Yemeni Armed Forces of the revolutionary Houthi government of Yemen published last week a number of secret documents and phone calls from the former regime of longtime president Ali Abdullah Saleh.


***

OK Morons. No attorney jokes, pretty please. Man accused of keeping sharks in his basement. I just keep mine on retainer.

New York law enforcement officials made an unusual discovery in 2017 when they found seven sharks swimming in a pool in a man’s basement.

According to the New York Attorney General’s office, Joshua Seguine, 40, pleaded guilty to illegal possession with intent to sell seven sandbar sharks this week. He was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine and sentenced to a conditional discharge.

“The tide has turned for Joshua Seguine, who was convicted and held accountable for his unlawful acts,” NY Attorney General Letitia James said in a press release. “Let this serve as a loud and clear message: We will not tolerate anyone who preys on protected species to line their pockets.”


***


The more I read about younger generations I ask the following question. Judas Fucking Priest, what the hell happened to them?

My husband does the laundry. No one asks him to, and often no one thanks him for doing it. But somehow, every week, our clothes, our kids’ clothes, the towels, the sheets; they all get cleaned. And with each load, the jealousy grows.


Throwing the piles into the washing machine is definitely the easy part. From there, he sorts them into mounds of hang-dry vs. dryer items, hangs the clothes, folds the towels and clothes, and puts the fresh sheets on the beds.

A couple of times per week, I walk into our bedroom to find a tidy little pile of my clothes. They are folded with tenderness, neatly stacked, and grouped by category. I know he would put them away, too, if only he knew where they went.

That is not even close to all he does around the house either. He’s the dishwasher, the grocery collector, the garbage remover, and the maintenance man. He follows behind us all, picking up the thrown socks, crumbs, and toys, somehow managing to maintain some sort of order within the chaos.


This is not to say that he doesn’t spend time with our children. He is the definition of a hands-on dad. There are nightly horsey rides, weekend swimming lessons, and stories before bed.

I know that I am lucky to have him, he is a saint — but does he know how lucky he is?


I guess lucky enough that he wanted to f*ck you Erin.

***


Pot For Shots.

And, The Greenhouse of Walled Lake, a marijuana dispensary in Walled Lake, Michigan, is giving anyone over the age of 21 with proof of vaccination a free pre-rolled joint. The “Pot for Shots” promotion is a “way of saying thank you for helping to end this pandemic and getting us back to normal,” the dispensary said.

Nearly one-quarter of employed Americans who probably or definitely won’t get vaccinated would consider getting their shot if offered a cash bonus or stipend, according to a report by the Society for Human Resource Management.

And yet, as of the most recent tally, 88% of organizations are unsure or have no plans to offer any incentives to encourage vaccinations.

***


Shocked. Shocked I say. Here's my shocked face.

Spike in illegal prostitution reports as sex clubs remain closed
With sex work still being banned under the coronavirus restrictions, reports of illegal prostitution are skyrocketing, Nieuwsuur reported after speaking to involved organizations.

Anonymous tip line Meld Misdaad Anoniem told the program that reports about illegal prostitution doubled. Anti-human trafficking organization Defense for Children noticed a significant increase of hotels asking for training on how to better recognize illegal prostitution. "We have indications from the police, from municipalities as well, that there is an increase," Celine Verheijen of Defense for Children said to the program. "[Hotels] are aware that more illegal prostitution is now taking place. People are looking elsewhere and hotel rooms are now cheaper than before corona."

Never saw that coming. Did you?

***

The Hodge Twins. White privilege personified. Don't believe me, Ask the Knob Gobbler's niece.


Vice President Kamala Harris’ niece is under fire for presuming the gunman in Monday’s Colorado mass shooting was white — because he was taken into custody alive.

“The Atlanta shooting was not even a week ago,” Meena Harris wrote in a since-deleted tweet, Fox News reported Tuesday.

“VIolent white men are the greatest terrorist threat to our country,” she wrote.

Ahmad Alissa, 21, who is charged with killing 10 people at a Boulder King Sooper grocery store, is of Syrian descent, police said.


***

The ONT Musical Interlude



Born on this day March 23, 1944 - Ric Ocasek
American singer, songwriter, musician, producer Ric Ocasek from The Cars. Their early hits included 'Just What I Needed', 'My Best Friend's Girl' and 'Good Times Roll'. Their 1984 US No.3 & 1985 UK No.4 'Drive' was used as part of the soundtrack for the Live Aid concert. Ocasek was found dead in his New York City apartment on 15 September 2019, he was 75 via thisdayinmusic.com

AND


We never need a reason to play Johnny Cash and/or Frank Zappa music........


***

Not much information provided. However, we do have a posthumous Genius Award Winner.

A man died Sunday after jumping off a Panama City Beach hotel balcony with a parachute.

WJHG reported Panama City Beach police received a call late Sunday at Sunrise Beach Resort on Front Beach Road. Police said a man in his 20s jumped from the 14th floor and it appeared the parachute didn’t deploy.


***

A very ill young boy has one heck of a day. Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day.

5-Year-Old Boy Battling Cancer Is Sworn In As North Miami Police Officer


It was a big day for a 5-year-old boy who's been battling cancer.

The North Miami Police Department held a special swearing-in ceremony for Jeremiah, and that was just part of a day filled with activities that helped fulfill his dream of being on duty.

***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Signage.


brot 3 22 21 (1).jpg

Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. The ONT is proudly made with gluten, carbs, fat, calories and other tasty things.


Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:59 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 Bam

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 09:59 PM (kTF2Z)

2 Bonsoir, fappeurs & fappettes!

Posted by: Zettai at March 23, 2021 09:59 PM (szPRO)

3 3rd

Posted by: BifBewalski - what about this one? at March 23, 2021 10:00 PM (VcFUs)

4 Seriously, I'm more than half blind and I got back to back? Be better, horde.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:00 PM (kTF2Z)

5 I'm not short!!!
I'm vertically challenged!

Posted by: lin-duh 27-4 at March 23, 2021 10:00 PM (UUBmN)

6 Whew. Thanks MisHum.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:00 PM (LNVrA)

7 "Woof!"

Posted by: says Conor at March 23, 2021 10:00 PM (87oRe)

8 I nooded

Posted by: BifBewalski - *pulls finger* at March 23, 2021 10:00 PM (VcFUs)

9 Fantastic pic. Sadly symbolic of America, with a few green shoots about to be overcome by sand and desolation.

Posted by: Bete at March 23, 2021 10:01 PM (Ojki1)

10 good evening

Posted by: wing at March 23, 2021 10:01 PM (JFzNN)

11 That last pic.

Whaaaaaaa..............??????

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:02 PM (sy5kK)

12 All Ten people killed by the Muslim terrorist were white.

Still waiting for young Harris to explain the anti-white violence.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:02 PM (LNVrA)

13 "Bureaucracy
is the continuation of slavery by other means!"

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:03 PM (87oRe)

14 The Moral Guidance Department, a branch of the Yemeni Armed Forces of the revolutionary Houthi government of Yemen published last week a number of secret documents and phone calls from the former regime of longtime president Ali Abdullah Saleh.
----

Huh, looks like the State Department isn't feared or this wouldn't have come out. Wonder how those clowns will enjoy their new status that they pushed so hard for.

Posted by: Bete at March 23, 2021 10:04 PM (Ojki1)

15 Explosive new recordings released by the Houthi government of Yemen pile more earth atop mountains of existing evidence of the US government's support for the very same terrorists it has claimed to be waging war against for nearly two decades.
---

These American armaments aren't going to sell themselves, you know!

Posted by: UniParty superiors at March 23, 2021 10:04 PM (sy5kK)

16 If you've seen a 2001 Honda Insight, regardless of it's condition, you'd want it towed off your property stat.

Posted by: Martini Farmer - Now a Pirate, Hoisting the Black Flag at March 23, 2021 10:05 PM (3H9h1)

17 Thanks for the ONT, Mis Hum! Your "Short Shrift" is still plenty awesome.

Nice photo up top. Interesting tune behind the photo in light of current events.

Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at March 23, 2021 10:05 PM (jQwrQ)

18 > They're a little tricky sometimes.

"Forks are a little tricky sometimes." -- Pskanki explaining why Dopey Joe is now eating with a plastic spoon, after accidentally stabbing himself in the face.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:05 PM (JZT2F)

19 16 If you've seen a 2001 Honda Insight, regardless of it's condition, you'd want it towed off your property stat.
Posted by: Martini Farmer - Now a Pirate, Hoisting the Black Flag at March 23, 2021 10:05 PM (3H9h1)

H8ER

Posted by: 73 Vega Owner at March 23, 2021 10:06 PM (aA3+G)

20 Rommel is about to charge over that dune. Or maybe a bunch of Desert Rats.

Posted by: Eromero at March 23, 2021 10:06 PM (0OP+5)

21 I guess lucky enough that he wanted to f*ck you Erin.


Let me shorten that for you: F*** YOU, ERIN!

Posted by: pookysgirl knows that brevity is the soul of wit at March 23, 2021 10:06 PM (XKZwp)

22 Does the Dream Lounger have a vibrate function?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at March 23, 2021 10:07 PM (Dc2NZ)

23 LOL at that last pic. I would not have thought an overstuffed recliner could be a phallic symbol but that advertiser managed to pull it off.

Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable at March 23, 2021 10:07 PM (Aashi)

24 "Tricky" steps, they get me every time, yeah.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 23, 2021 10:07 PM (k0ZDc)

25 17 Thanks for the ONT, Mis Hum! Your "Short Shrift" is still plenty awesome.

Nice photo up top. Interesting tune behind the photo in light of current events.
Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at March 23, 2021 10:05 PM (jQwrQ)

Thanks.

The tune came out of nowhere earlier today while cruising with the Misanthropic Puppehs.

Posted by: 73 Vega Owner at March 23, 2021 10:07 PM (aA3+G)

26
Upon examination, the parachute contained a sandwich, and apple, a pudding cup, and a trapper keeper.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:08 PM (kTF2Z)

27 Those are some ghetto-assed-looking apartments.

Yeah, the manager/HOA dictator is getting kickbacks from the towing company. You can bank on it.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:08 PM (JZT2F)

28 A couple of times per week, I walk into our bedroom to find a tidy little pile of my clothes. They are folded with tenderness, neatly stacked, and grouped by category. I know he would put them away, too, if only he knew where they went.

I nearly fell out of my chair reading this. THIS is my husband. Even though I'm retired he insists on doing the laundry. And yes.. I find neatly stacked clothes on my bed because he doesn't know where they go. He also does the dishes every night. He's a keeper!

Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:08 PM (nxdel)

29 22 Does the Dream Lounger have a vibrate function?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at March 23, 2021 10:07 PM (Dc2NZ)

Quarters
Magic fingers
Loose change

Add water makes it own sauce.

Posted by: 73 Vega Owner at March 23, 2021 10:08 PM (aA3+G)

30 > Rommel is about to charge over that dune. Or maybe a bunch of Desert Rats.

Rat Patrol had the best opening sequences ever.

Now I gotta go to the 'Tube to watch a few of them.



Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:09 PM (JZT2F)

31 Thanks for theONT, MisHum. I'm listening to music recs from last night.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at March 23, 2021 10:09 PM (IDhUW)

32 Off aluminum block sock

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:09 PM (aA3+G)

33 22 Does the Dream Lounger have a vibrate function?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at March 23, 2021 10:07 PM (Dc2NZ)

No, presuming it is the same chain as here who also use the term "Dream Lounger." But they are easy to fall asleep in as they are nice and wide and recline and have a adjustable footrest.

Plus a boring movie (Jurassic World 2 and Solo) seemed to help the drowsy effect.

Posted by: Bete at March 23, 2021 10:09 PM (Ojki1)

34 Can you imagine what would happen if a republican, much less Donald Trump, addressed a woman as "Darling"? The MSM would all be babbling about paternalism and misogyny.

Interesting the way liberal New Yorkers haven't forced Cuomo to resign. Then again, he was once married to a Kennedy, so they probably take his degenerate behavior as a given.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:09 PM (+lVUW)

35 Let me shorten that for you: F*** YOU, ERIN!

Posted by: pookysgirl knows that brevity is the soul of wit at March 23, 2021 10:06 PM (XKZwp)


That may not be an Oxford Comma there PG, but the punctuation is perfect!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:10 PM (87oRe)

36
top 50!

Posted by: will choose a nic later at March 23, 2021 10:10 PM (r4bSV)

37 I nearly fell out of my chair reading this. THIS is my husband. Even though I'm retired he insists on doing the laundry. And yes.. I find neatly stacked clothes on my bed because he doesn't know where they go. He also does the dishes every night. He's a keeper!
Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:08 PM (nxdel)


Yeah, I couldn't finish it. I've never read more self centered garbage in my life.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:10 PM (LNVrA)

38 A guy finds a lamp and rubs it. Out pops a genie.

I grant you three wishes.

First, I want all the lawyers to disappear.

It is done. Also, no more wishes.

You said three wishes!

So sue me.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (kTF2Z)

39 Is that Arrakis?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (63Dwl)

40 35 Let me shorten that for you: F*** YOU, ERIN!

Posted by: pookysgirl knows that brevity is the soul of wit at March 23, 2021 10:06 PM (XKZwp)

That may not be an Oxford Comma there PG, but the punctuation is perfect!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:10 PM (87oRe)

You be a talented Moron CH.

2 weeks from today

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (aA3+G)

41 18 > They're a little tricky sometimes.

"Forks are a little tricky sometimes." -- Pskanki explaining why Dopey Joe is now eating with a plastic spoon, after accidentally stabbing himself in the face.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:05 PM (JZT2F)

Hahaha, thanks for that laugh!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (IDhUW)

42 I performed a series of groundbreaking aerial experiments involving an umbrella and a hill in the backyard when I was a little kid. Results were, in my view, unsatisfactory thus I declined to increase the height and jump off the roof.

Posted by: Common Tater at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (T3zWB)

43 About the only complaint Erin forgot was that her husband fold the clothes "wrong".

Posted by: Beartooth at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (ZN7T5)

44 Translation: Erin sits on her ass all day Facebooking and Twatting, without showering, getting dressed, or even brushing her teeth, much less doing any housework.

Then she gets pissy when her husband comes home and starts taking care of the mess.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (JZT2F)

45 Sheesh!
What an ONT!
So many places to just jump right in.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (axyOa)

46 {{{Jewells}}} does your husband need an intervention?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (87oRe)

47 Yeah, I couldn't finish it. I've never read more self centered garbage in my life.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:10 PM (LNVrA)

She couldn't brush her teeth.
Eeeh gadz

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (aA3+G)

48
He also does the dishes every night. He's a keeper!
Posted by: Jewells45

_________

Give him a treat and a head skritch.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 10:12 PM (mht8P)

49 Begging for some suggestions from the lawyer morons & moronettes: I graduated from law school 20 years ago and have decided to take the bar exam. I only remember Barbri & Kaplan from those days. I never have taken the exam before. What's to choose from all the choices available today? Washington state is where I reside. TIA, kind folk.

Posted by: The inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at March 23, 2021 10:12 PM (dV4qo)

50 One suspects that Erin has not, in fact, been properly fucked for quite some time.

Posted by: Miklosian Opinionations LLC at March 23, 2021 10:12 PM (QzkSJ)

51 I wonder what is tricky about those particular stairs. Do the risers change height? Do the treads bounce like a trampoline? Does someone spray slippery stuff on random steps? Damn it, I need to know what is so fucking tricky about those steps sometimes.

Posted by: huerfano at March 23, 2021 10:13 PM (DzhEB)

52 That article about Tenet makes my blood boil.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 23, 2021 10:13 PM (IWSCu)

53 Tricksey Stepses!

Posted by: Gollum at March 23, 2021 10:13 PM (5ZHS+)

54 'Don't Try To Lay No Boogie Woogie' - Long John Baldry

https://youtu.be/Bj_lZ4hkJd8

Posted by: 4 at March 23, 2021 10:14 PM (KnJdm)

55 Yeah, I couldn't finish it. I've never read more self centered garbage in my life.

Meh.. she's just a miserable bitch.

Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:14 PM (nxdel)

56 > Do the risers change height?

Like those "trip steps" they used to build into castle keeps, maybe.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:14 PM (JZT2F)

57 She couldn't brush her teeth.
Eeeh gadz
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (aA3+G


Right about now, plenty of women are trying to get her husbands digits.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:14 PM (LNVrA)

58 That article about Tenet makes my blood boil.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory

It's Tenets all the way down.

Posted by: Miklos re: the Deep State Apparatus at March 23, 2021 10:14 PM (QzkSJ)

59 51 I wonder what is tricky about those particular stairs. Do the risers change height? Do the treads bounce like a trampoline? Does someone spray slippery stuff on random steps? Damn it, I need to know what is so fucking tricky about those steps sometimes.
Posted by: huerfano at March 23, 2021 10:13 PM (DzhEB)

Turn your back on them for a moment and they are drinking, smoking and trying to get a 3 Card Monty game going.

Posted by: Bete at March 23, 2021 10:14 PM (Ojki1)

60 > One suspects that Erin has not, in fact, been properly fucked for quite some time.

Maybe she should try showering and brushing her teeth.

I mean, that might help.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:15 PM (JZT2F)

61 top 50!

top 100??

Are we keeping score. Asking for Sponge.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * el Lobo solitario at March 23, 2021 10:15 PM (TIOIq)

62 lol Hrothgar! NO!!! I like that he still does things like that for me. Shit..he's in the damn kitchen more than I am except to cook.

Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:15 PM (nxdel)

63 50 One suspects that Erin has not, in fact, been properly fucked for quite some time.
Posted by: Miklosian Opinionations LLC at March 23, 2021 10:12 PM (QzkSJ

Nah. One suspects that her husband hasn't been laid in a long time.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:15 PM (LNVrA)

64 And here I was counting my lucky stars that my now stay-at-home husband actually came to the door to say hello when I came home from work! He also told me that I smelled like solvent, but I'll take it!

Posted by: pookysgirl has an actual husband again at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (XKZwp)

65 2 weeks from today
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM (aA3+G)


True dat!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (87oRe)

66
Damn it, I need to know what is so fucking tricky about those steps sometimes.
Posted by: huerfano


Hurricane force wind.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (63Dwl)

67
Scary Mommy is the site for insane women, is that not so?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (mht8P)

68 "We are completely aligned with the idea that a person who causes harm to others in this community and elsewhere should be held accountable, "Duke University Dean of Students John Blackshear

Well, who gets to define "harm"?

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (+lVUW)

69 If it's true, Erin's husband is seething with resentment.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (kTF2Z)

70 Is Erin's husband Chinese?

Posted by: davidt at March 23, 2021 10:17 PM (5ZHS+)

71 I thought it was a bit. Then I remembered the year.

Posted by: Quint at March 23, 2021 10:17 PM (OgcCr)

72 Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:15 PM (nxdel)

You know me, I was just trying to help, but I thought that would be the response!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:17 PM (87oRe)

73 67
Scary Mommy is the site for insane women, is that not so?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (mht8P)

One of numerous sites I check out is https://davidthompson.typepad.com/davidthompson/
He usually has one of their stories up once a week.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:17 PM (aA3+G)

74 Nah. One suspects that her husband hasn't been laid in a long time.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

Erin likes to talk after sex.

Last night, she called him from an inn in the Cuckswolds

Posted by: Miklos Dangerfield, still got marks where the jockey hit me at March 23, 2021 10:17 PM (QzkSJ)

75 I heard a great lawyer joke recently.

A 50 year old lawyer dies and goes to see St Peter about entering heaven. He said 50 is kinda young to die dont you think? St Peter looks through his books and replies...based on the number of hours you billed we thought you were 83.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 10:18 PM (Zx3Bu)

76 "No more cowering to the gunIslamic lobby. "We need to pass gunIslamic safety legislation NOW."

Rep. Ilhan Omar: 'Our Communities Are Living in Terror'


They need gun control in Somalia. She should go back there and deal with that.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:18 PM (+lVUW)

77 Well, who gets to define "harm"?
Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (+lVUW)


The "committee" is working on that!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:18 PM (87oRe)

78 your hubby is a pickle puffer, Erin

and that makes you a fag hag

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 10:18 PM (6iURM)

79 Do I get penalty points if I totally skip the content? The squirrel panel came to a consensus that I should ask.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * el Lobo solitario at March 23, 2021 10:18 PM (TIOIq)

80 Variant on the genie joke above.

An engineer's post-death paperwork gets mixed up and he's accidentally sent to Hell.

Heaven figures this out eventually, and demands his return.

Satan says "No way. Since he's been here, we've got air conditioning, cars, and movies. We're keeping him."

God says "I'll sue!"

Satan says "Right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?"

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:19 PM (JZT2F)

81 Al Pacino Approved ONT Compliance Pics

https://tinyurl.com/47rdaruc

https://tinyurl.com/uefajc36

https://tinyurl.com/47znb4s6

https://tinyurl.com/uueh4csf

https://tinyurl.com/d6vaezhw

Posted by: kbdabear at March 23, 2021 10:19 PM (qAR6u)

82 One suspects that Erin has not, in fact, been properly fucked for quite some time.

Erin also apparently hasn't done a decent load of laundry in quite some time. Lazy biotch.

Posted by: Martini Farmer - Now a Pirate, Hoisting the Black Flag at March 23, 2021 10:19 PM (3H9h1)

83 Got some first pics of my new great grandbaby. Oh Lord.. he is cute! He's gonna have those beautiful gorgeous eyes like all my grandkids.

Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:19 PM (nxdel)

84 68 "We are completely aligned with the idea that a person who causes harm to others in this community and elsewhere should be held accountable, "Duke University Dean of Students John Blackshear

Well, who gets to define "harm"?
Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (+lVUW)

Whoever places higher in the Wokelympics. Which means the dean will xerself forced out by the children xhe encouraged to run rampart in 5 years or so.

Posted by: Bete at March 23, 2021 10:19 PM (Ojki1)

85 TV interview with the neighbor:

I don't know where Erin is or why she disappeared, but it couldn't have been her husband. He's the nicest guy!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:20 PM (kTF2Z)

86 79 Do I get penalty points if I totally skip the content? The squirrel panel came to a consensus that I should ask.
Posted by: Sock Monkey * el Lobo solitario at March 23, 2021 10:18 PM (TIOIq)

You're honest.
Comment away.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:20 PM (aA3+G)

87 > your hubby is a pickle puffer, Erin

Nah, he just doesn't want to fuck a fat ass who slobs around all day without bathing or brushing her teeth, and no doubt doesn't want to lose his house and his kids in the (IMO) inevitable divorce that's looming.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:20 PM (JZT2F)

88 Wonder which of Erins husbands friends is fucking her tonight?

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 10:20 PM (Zx3Bu)

89
A 50 year old lawyer dies and goes to see St Peter about entering heaven. He said 50 is kinda young to die dont you think? St Peter looks through his books and replies...based on the number of hours you billed we thought you were 83.
Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 10:18 PM (Zx3Bu)

_________

Years ago I told that joke to a couple of young associates who were doing the grunt work on a patent interference case. They did not find it all that funny.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 10:21 PM (mht8P)

90 Howdy all. Rainy few days here in N IL.

Just got a call from the FIL, Jerry. He was widowed after 67 yrs on Mar 3. We saw him, he fell one day and now has fallen a second time on the 19th. 2 months short of 90.

Meanwhile my 84 yo Dad rolled his van on the 17th, hitting black ice on the interstate. Cuts and bruises, but just found out he went to ER because the hand cut got so bad.

This is crazy. Please pry for 2 great old guys, Roger and Jerry.


Posted by: Farmer at March 23, 2021 10:21 PM (55Qr6)

91 Quote: OK, I'm not going anywhere, darling.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Sadly, Cuomo isn't going anywhere. He should be hounded out of office and driven into exile in a proper world.

P.S. Pixy is just so...so....

Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at March 23, 2021 10:21 PM (jQwrQ)

92 > Erin also apparently hasn't done a decent load of laundry in quite some time.

Yeah, that's the part I don't get. How long does it take to throw in a load of fucking laundry? I don't care if you do have a newborn and a toddler.



Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:21 PM (JZT2F)

93 Well, who gets to define "harm"?
Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:16 PM (+lVUW)

The "committee" is working on that!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar


The Official Motto of Duke University is "Eruditio et Religio"

I'm thinking False Advertising

Posted by: Miklos, Dookie by inheritance at March 23, 2021 10:22 PM (QzkSJ)

94 > This is crazy. Please pry for 2 great old guys, Roger and Jerry.


Roger and Jerry, we're all pulling for you.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:22 PM (JZT2F)

95 More Al Pacino Approved ONT Compliance Pics

https://tinyurl.com/48hpcb95

https://tinyurl.com/w8437xtk

https://tinyurl.com/yr5u9k8e

https://tinyurl.com/byk94zc4

https://tinyurl.com/yawc5a27

Posted by: kbdabear at March 23, 2021 10:22 PM (qAR6u)

96 83 Congrats Jewells!!!!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:22 PM (87oRe)

97 Finally getting around to watching the recut Blade Runner.

Really is better than the original.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:23 PM (LNVrA)

98
This is crazy. Please pry for 2 great old guys, Roger and Jerry.


Posted by: Farmer

Done

Posted by: Lay Brother Miklos at March 23, 2021 10:23 PM (QzkSJ)

99 88 Wonder which of Erins husbands friends is fucking her tonight?
Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 10:20 PM (Zx3Bu)

it's Rover's turn

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 10:23 PM (6iURM)

100 I read the Scarymommy article. The only reason Erin's husband hasn't pulled the handle on the ejection seat is because he knows she'll take him to the cleaners in family court.

Posted by: PabloD, boop/bop/beep at March 23, 2021 10:23 PM (792+X)

101 Waiting for the father of the daughter I adopted out 35 yrs ago to call. She died 2 yrs ago last month. Worried something is wrong with his granddaughter. Fuck.

Nevermind, sorry to be a downer.

Posted by: Infidel at March 23, 2021 10:23 PM (E0OEG)

102 The steps are tricky? I guess they realized the "wind blew him over" excuse wasn't playing well.

I could accept that excuse if he stumbled once, but three times? Wiping out completely the third time? And always on the left foot? I'm thinking neurological (and I say this as someone who lost a bit of control over his left foot for about a week thanks to an extruded disk)

Posted by: No One of Consequence at March 23, 2021 10:24 PM (CAJOC)

103 https://twitter.com/WOKVNews/status/1374540263557849088

This is what this country SHOULD be about.

Posted by: JEM at March 23, 2021 10:24 PM (8erNz)

104 > Last night, she called him from an inn in the Cuckswolds

If my wife didn't bathe or brush her teeth, I'd be happy to outsource the chore of servicing her to someone else.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:24 PM (JZT2F)

105 The Official Motto of Duke University is "Eruditio et Religio"

I'm thinking False Advertising
Posted by: Miklos, Dookie by inheritance at March 23, 2021 10:22 PM (QzkSJ)

------------

Funny, I don't remember founding a university.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:24 PM (kTF2Z)

106 88 Wonder which of Erins husbands friends is fucking her tonight?
Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 10:20 PM (Zx3Bu)

The chick who has no personal hygiene and is too lazy to do anything? It'd be like the scene in Mannequin where the guy is in bed, looking at his member under the sheets and yelling at her that she is so bad she cause the little soldier to desert.

Posted by: Bete at March 23, 2021 10:24 PM (Ojki1)

107 Evening all

Rain gonna get stuff growing before I'm ready

Sigh

Posted by: Zeera Hunkering down here, Boss at March 23, 2021 10:24 PM (+iaDh)

108 > The steps are tricky? I guess they realized the "wind blew him over" excuse wasn't playing well.

His legs also have a stuttering problem?

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:25 PM (JZT2F)

109 Posted by: Farmer

Prayers up!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:25 PM (87oRe)

110 Got some first pics of my new great grandbaby. Oh Lord.. he is cute! He's gonna have those beautiful gorgeous eyes like all my grandkids.
Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:19 PM (nxdel)
* * * *
Awesome news, congratulations!

Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at March 23, 2021 10:25 PM (jQwrQ)

111
Nevermind, sorry to be a downer.
Posted by: Infidel

________

Very sorry about your situation.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 10:26 PM (mht8P)

112
Erin, you ungrateful cow. Just rot in your seething morass of "poor widdle me" and inflamed COVID paranoia.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 23, 2021 10:26 PM (pNxlR)

113 Showers and personal hygiene are not daily occurrences, and when they do
happen, it's rushed and with at least one child at my feet.

Erin, honey, if my mother could keep four disaster-prone children out of the bathroom for 20 minutes while she showered daily, SO CAN YOU!

Posted by: pookysgirl, klutz of the family at March 23, 2021 10:26 PM (XKZwp)

114 Please pry for 2 great old guys, Roger and Jerry.

Posted by: Farmer at March 23, 2021 10:21 PM (55Qr6)
* * * *
Prayers up for Roger and Jerry. Hope they have smooth sailing and bright days ahead!

Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at March 23, 2021 10:26 PM (jQwrQ)

115 > Funny, I don't remember founding a university.

> Posted by: Duke Lowell

That's 'cuz it was named after me, brah. Mahalo!

Posted by: Duke Kahanamoku at March 23, 2021 10:26 PM (JZT2F)

116 Wonder which of Erins husbands friends is fucking her tonight?

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 10:20 PM (Zx3Bu)

Poor bastard.

Posted by: EXTERMINATE! at March 23, 2021 10:26 PM (hbrUW)

117
The Official Motto of Duke University is "Eruditio et Religio"

I'm thinking False Advertising
Posted by: Miklos, Dookie by inheritance at March 23, 2021 10:22 PM (QzkSJ)

The Serpent offered knowledge in the Garden, and they don't specify which religion.

Posted by: Bete at March 23, 2021 10:26 PM (Ojki1)

118
His legs also have a stuttering problem?

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia


Stutter steps

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 23, 2021 10:27 PM (pNxlR)

119 The al-Awlaki story makes no sense...al-Awlaki was living in the US in 2001, the supposed timeframe of this call from Tenet to the Yemen poobah.

Posted by: FriscoYoda at March 23, 2021 10:27 PM (+56GQ)

120
Erin's husband does all that stuff to avoid having anything to do with Erin.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 10:27 PM (mht8P)

121 Funny, I don't remember founding a university.
Posted by: Duke Lowell


It was Trinity College, a Methodist school.

Then the Duke tobacco money.

I think you, Mortimer and Randolph Duke have your own money.

Posted by: Miklos, turning the machines back on over here Boss at March 23, 2021 10:27 PM (QzkSJ)

122 Did Erin sell insurance on TV?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 10:27 PM (63Dwl)

123 Farmer my mom had 6 falls in 6 months. I'm praying for a good outcome for you. It's hard.. I know.

Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:28 PM (nxdel)

124 > That's 'cuz it was named after me, brah. Mahalo!

> Posted by: Duke Kahanamoku

Now just hold on one cotton-pickin' minute, there, pilgrim...

Posted by: Duke Wayne at March 23, 2021 10:28 PM (JZT2F)

125 I wonder when Erin's husband is going to step out for the pack of smokes, never to be seen again.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin at March 23, 2021 10:28 PM (I58tH)

126 Thanks Hadrian, glad you are doing better!

Posted by: Infidel at March 23, 2021 10:28 PM (E0OEG)

127 23 LOL at that last pic. I would not have thought an overstuffed recliner could be a phallic symbol but that advertiser managed to pull it off.
Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable


Hah! I thought that was really supposed to be a phallus.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (+lVUW)

128 Can't tell whether the Dream Lounger owner was feeling ballsy, or merely cocky, when he put up that sign.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (F03MK)

129 Erin's husband does all that stuff to avoid having anything to do with Erin.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 10:27 PM (mht8P)

---------

Probably closer to the truth than any other theory.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (kTF2Z)

130 > Now just hold on one cotton-pickin' minute, there, pilgrim...

> Posted by: Duke Wayne

Forget the squabblin' cats and kitties. Let's have some Sugar Rum Cherry.

Posted by: Duke Ellington at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (JZT2F)

131 101 Waiting for the father of the daughter I adopted out 35 yrs ago to call. She died 2 yrs ago last month. Worried something is wrong with his granddaughter. Fuck.

Nevermind, sorry to be a downer.


Trying to understand what the situation is here. You lost a daughter...bio or adoptive? and someone else in the mix doesn't GAF? I don't mind downers, I seem to live them daily. Maybe I should provide contact info to take this outside.

Posted by: JEM at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (8erNz)

132 Infidel you are NOT a downer! You know we are here for you.

Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (nxdel)

133 The Cars' first album is better than most bands "Best Of" albums. The rest of them were pretty darn good too.

Posted by: Eat The Eloi at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (RGRIY)

134 Erin, fix your shit. The shocking part is that anyone thought it was a good idea to hit send on that train wreck.

Posted by: 4 at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (KnJdm)

135 > Forget the squabblin' cats and kitties. Let's have some Sugar Rum Cherry.


Works for me.

Posted by: Raoul Duke at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (JZT2F)

136 24 "Tricky" steps, they get me every time, yeah.
Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast


Secret Service better keep him away from escalators. Especially if Kamala or Dr. Jill are standing behind him.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:30 PM (+lVUW)

137 {{{{Infidel!}}}}

Prayers up, girlfriend. Hope you hear from him soon and that all is well.

Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at March 23, 2021 10:30 PM (jQwrQ)

138
That's 'cuz it was named after me, brah. Mahalo!

> Posted by: Duke Kahanamoku

Now just hold on one cotton-pickin' minute, there, pilgrim...

Posted by: Duke Wayne at March 23, 2021 10:28 PM (JZT2F)

__________

It was my grasping, shrewish American wife. They're the ruin of British royalty.

Posted by: Duke of Windsor at March 23, 2021 10:30 PM (mht8P)

139 That's 'cuz it was named after me, brah. Mahalo!

Posted by: Duke Kahanamoku

*GLARE*

Herman Wedemeyer as "Duke" Lukela

Posted by: Miklos, doing the drum intro to Hawaii 5-O at March 23, 2021 10:30 PM (QzkSJ)

140 Frank Zappa on Karaoke Night.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:31 PM (sy5kK)

141 THERE IS ONLY ONE DUKE ON THIS BLOG!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:31 PM (kTF2Z)

142

I don't mind doing chores around the house because that laundry, those dishes, etc. are not just going to take care of themselves! The lovely and long-suffering Mrs Z is not, how shall I say it, a 'neat freak'...

Posted by: Zettai at March 23, 2021 10:31 PM (szPRO)

143 Greetings everyone. I love the top image, I would really like being able to make anything that evocative. It speaks of a lot of things I could probably articulate better if I wasn't drunk.

How is everyone tonight? Greetings and salutations--tally ho.

Watching a lot of YouTuber Jenny Nicholson, who is cute as a button, smart and funny--three things I'm not. Some of her videos are long but they're worth it. Watching the one about "Star Wars Land" and didn't know she worked at the Disney petting farm.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at March 23, 2021 10:32 PM (OU+8W)

144 Can't tell whether the Dream Lounger owner was feeling ballsy, or merely cocky, when he put up that sign.
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (F03MK)
* * * *
*SNORT*

Posted by: Legally Sufficient, Believing in America at March 23, 2021 10:32 PM (jQwrQ)

145 LOL at that last pic. I would not have thought an overstuffed recliner could be a phallic symbol but that advertiser managed to pull it off.
Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable

I will never look at a recliner the same way again.

Posted by: 4 at March 23, 2021 10:32 PM (KnJdm)

146
Off to feed the mutts.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 10:32 PM (mht8P)

147 138
Now just hold on one cotton-pickin' minute, there, pilgrim...

Posted by: Duke Wayne at March 23, 2021 10:28 PM (JZT2F)
__________
It was my grasping, shrewish American wife. They're the ruin of British royalty.
Posted by: Duke of Windsor at March 23, 2021 10:30 PM (mht8P)
-----------------
Out of my way, poseurs! 'Cause nothing can stop...

Posted by: The Duke of Earl at March 23, 2021 10:32 PM (CAJOC)

148 Excuse me. I am sie ARCH-Duke. So I am pulling sie rank, nicht wahr?

It's like the difference between Light Colonel and Bird Colonel.

Posted by: Archduke Franz Ferdinand at March 23, 2021 10:33 PM (JZT2F)

149 THERE IS ONLY ONE DUKE ON THIS BLOG!
Posted by: Duke Lowell

*adjusts both monocles*

Indicates to Oddjob

Posted by: Miklos, Duke of Earl at March 23, 2021 10:34 PM (QzkSJ)

150 This one goes out to Jen Pssss calling in from the WDC!

This speech is my recital, I think it's very vital
To rock (a rhyme), that's right (on time)
It's Tricky is the title, here we go...
It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's Tricky... it's Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky)
It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's Tricky... Tr-tr-tr-tricky (Tricky) Trrrrrrrrrrricky

Posted by: Al Bundy at March 23, 2021 10:34 PM (Z7toj)

151 136 24 "Tricky" steps, they get me every time, yeah.
Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast

Secret Service better keep him away from escalators. Especially if Kamala or Dr. Jill are standing behind him.
Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:30 PM (+lVUW)

Doctor Jill only pushed him into the White House. If he obviously dies she can't continue her Weekend at Bernie's run as resident. She ain't giving that up easily.

Posted by: Bete at March 23, 2021 10:34 PM (Ojki1)

152 Awesome Jewell's!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at March 23, 2021 10:34 PM (axyOa)

153 108 > The steps are tricky? I guess they realized the "wind blew him over" excuse wasn't playing well.
His legs also have a stuttering problem?
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:25 PM (JZT2F)

Yeah. Eff him, and eff whomever put that shit together for a public statement. I have nerve damage in my right foot, and permanent loss of sensory input as a consequence. I cannot feel if i am slipping or not. I hold onto a rail, just in case. He, and his feeble assed handlers need to grow a pair and come clean.

Posted by: BifBewalski - I read the content after the nood. at March 23, 2021 10:34 PM (VcFUs)

154 Posted by: The Duke of Earl at March 23, 2021 10:32 PM (CAJOC)


The song that can only be properly sung by a men's quartet.

Posted by: pookysgirl actually knows a barbershop quartet at March 23, 2021 10:34 PM (XKZwp)

155 THERE IS ONLY ONE DUKE ON THIS BLOG!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:31 PM (kTF2Z)

Who's the Duke now?

Posted by: Donald Pleasence at March 23, 2021 10:34 PM (KnJdm)

156 Britain's Prince Harry will become the first chief impact officer of BetterUp, a San Francisco-based firm that provides employee coaching and mental health assistance, the company has announced.

Posted by: SMOD at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (X5CsJ)

157 148 Excuse me. I am sie ARCH-Duke. So I am pulling sie rank, nicht wahr?

It's like the difference between Light Colonel and Bird Colonel.

Posted by: Archduke Franz Ferdinand at March 23, 2021 10:33 PM (JZT2F)

------------------------

I prefer Extra-Crispy Colonel.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (CAJOC)

158 > It was my grasping, shrewish American wife. They're the ruin of British royalty.

Some reports have it that Wallis had a freakishly large clitoris, which Eddie found endlessly fascinating.

No word whether the same is true for Markle.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (JZT2F)

159 Hey everybody. Hey ONT! Hey MisHum!

Whaddayaknow, a Neil Young rocker up top. Not bad. I read at Wiki that Neil said he was basically going crazy trying to deal with his autistic son while recording Re-Ac-Tor.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (L2ZTs)

160 Acquaintance of mine once asked for advice on her new business logo. Well the initials of the business were S.S. - and the S's were presented crossed at the center and each at a 45 degree angle. They were frankly not the roundest S's either.

I said I unfortunately found it too evocative of a sw*stika, and she should really rethink. Business was in NY of all places.

Disagreed completely and totally ignored my advice. I hate when people do that. When I give you advice, it's because I know something. At least be polite and contemplate. If you don't want to know, don't fucking ask.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (uEbPt)

161
From 2022, all Boeing Dreamliners will be equipped with Dream Loungers.

Posted by: Miklosian Anti-Marketing SA de CV at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (QzkSJ)

162 Posted by: Farmer at March 23, 2021 10:21 PM (55Qr6)

Prayers up for Roger and Jerry.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (sy5kK)

163 Kamala will come up with a plan where she can be prezzy and Dr. Jill can remain first lady. Kinky, but a plan.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (I58tH)

164 154 Posted by: The Duke of Earl at March 23, 2021 10:32 PM (CAJOC)


The song that can only be properly sung by a men's quartet.
Posted by: pookysgirl actually knows a barbershop quartet at March 23, 2021 10:34 PM (XKZwp)

What about us?

Posted by: Yoko Ono Plastic Band at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (aA3+G)

165 Britain's Prince Harry will become the first chief impact officer of BetterUp, a San Francisco-based firm that provides employee coaching and mental health assistance, the company has announced.
Posted by: SMOD at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (X5CsJ)


Sounds like a downer job to me!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (87oRe)

166 141 THERE IS ONLY ONE DUKE ON THIS BLOG!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:31 PM (kTF2Z)

-----------------------

THERE. ARE. FOUR. DUKES!

Posted by: Duke Picard at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (CAJOC)

167 I saw the Dream Loungers open for Divinyls back in '89.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (L2ZTs)

168 163 Kamala will come up with a plan where she can be prezzy and Dr. Jill can remain first lady. Kinky, but a plan.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (I58tH)


I'd hit that.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (aA3+G)

169 Did I mention my grandson named my new truck The Duke?
True story.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (axyOa)

170 We have switchblades.

Posted by: The Amboy Dukes at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (JZT2F)

171 Posted by: JEM at March 23, 2021 10:29 PM (8erNz)

Due to circumstances, I adopted a daughter out some years ago as an infant. Knew the names of the new parents from adoption papers. She looked me up about 5 years ago. We became close. She and her daughter came and visited not long after that. She died suddenly in her early 30's. Her adoptive father called and told me. It was horrible. Oldest daughter (they became close) and I flew out for the memorial.

Haven't talked to him for over a year. Granddaughter is 6. And a real cutie.

Overdue for the call.

Posted by: Infidel at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (E0OEG)

172 If you don't want to know, don't fucking ask.
Posted by: ...


My free advice is ALWAYS undervalued.

Posted by: Miklosian Consulting in Chap. 11 at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (QzkSJ)

173 Britain's Prince Harry will become the first chief impact officer of BetterUp, a San Francisco-based firm that provides employee coaching and mental health assistance, the company has announced.
Posted by: SMOD at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (X5CsJ)

Posted by: Mis at March 23, 2021 10:37 PM (aA3+G)

174 SMOD and Hrothgar, Harry's first bit of advice to everyone will be:

- Don't get married.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:37 PM (L2ZTs)

175 Britain's Prince Harry will become the first chief impact officer of BetterUp, a San Francisco-based firm that provides employee coaching and mental health assistance, the company has announced.
Posted by: SMOD at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (X5CsJ)


Little fucker's wife was queaking out
He's experienced.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:37 PM (aA3+G)

176 170 We have switchblades.

Posted by: The Amboy Dukes at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (JZT2F)

-----------------------

We got the General Lee!

Posted by: Bo & Luke Duke at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (CAJOC)

177 MisHum: now now.
They're BOTH fuckers. ;-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (L2ZTs)

178 Woman doesn't do regular basic hygiene or clean house, blames it on "parenting" but has time to publish hateful screed about husband, who does. Seems perfectly apt for the world we live in.

Posted by: Farmer Bob at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (7o4Oo)

179 Did I mention my grandson named my new truck The Duke?
True story.
Posted by: Diogenes at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (axyOa)

---------

Cultural appropriation!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (kTF2Z)

180 This thread is obviously in the pay of Hellman's

Posted by: Duke's mayonnaise at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (QzkSJ)

181 MisHum, even a quick short shrift edition is all quality, no fleabag motel, so you still get an A for tonight's work.

Admit it, you simply have the touch.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (sy5kK)

182 A couple of times per week, I walk into our bedroom to find a tidy little pile of my clothes. They are folded with tenderness, neatly stacked, and grouped by category. I know he would put them away, too, if only he knew where they went.

People actually do this? I may be the odd man out but I have the magic laundry basket. I just throw dirty laundry in it and it automagically gets washed and put away.

https://youtu.be/SqQgDwA0BNU

Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 10:39 PM (Rvt88)

183 This is crazy. Please pry for 2 great old guys, Roger and Jerry.


Posted by: Farmer at March 23, 2021 10:21 PM (55Qr6)

Oh my that's awful on both counts. Prayers are headed upward.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:39 PM (uEbPt)

184 99 88 Wonder which of Erins husbands friends is fucking her tonight?
Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 10:20 PM (Zx3Bu)

it's Rover's turn
Posted by: REDACTED


Best laugh of the night.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 23, 2021 10:39 PM (+lVUW)

185 I used to live in a pretty nice condo complex. They were absolutely fucking ruthless. They'd tow a perfectly nice car if it was in the same spot for three days, even if it was tagged and all that. No mercy.

When they stole my Volvo S60, they didn't even put it on a flatbed. It's all wheel drive so they just went ahead and ripped my tires off for me.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 10:39 PM (Uh2oA)

186 Too bad Cash didn't actually Play with Zappa. That would have been one for the ages.

Posted by: Pete Seria at March 23, 2021 10:39 PM (7ZQe3)

187 > Britain's Prince Harry will become the first chief impact officer of BetterUp, a San Francisco-based firm that provides employee coaching

He just needs to make really sure he doesn't accidentally show up for work at ButterUp, a San Francisco-based firm that specializes in hand-applied personal lubricants.

Posted by: The Amboy Dukes at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (JZT2F)

188 My favorite underrated band and underrated lead guitarist.
Easton's "Duane Eddy" style outro is gold.

Posted by: Al Bundy at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (Z7toj)

189 Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:35 PM (L2ZTs)


My day is now complete that you pronounced my selection "Not bad"

Should I pass this evening into God's hands I will have experienced the best of this world and the next.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (aA3+G)

190 Infidel - six five zero, eight six three, five three...first digit of area code plus one, second digit of area code minus one if you need to talk.

Posted by: JEM at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (8erNz)

191 MisHum, you're welcome!

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (L2ZTs)

192 I know that I am lucky to have him, he is a saint - but does he know how lucky he is?

She seems nice.

Posted by: Insomniac - Zhou Bai-Den Is Not My Chairman at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (II3Gr)

193 Cultural appropriation!


Does it help that I'd just given him The Lieutenants to read?

Posted by: Diogenes at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (axyOa)

194 Are you familiar by any chance with Young's 50s-style album, Everybody's Rockin'?

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:41 PM (L2ZTs)

195 When they stole my Volvo S60, they didn't even put it on a flatbed. It's all wheel drive so they just went ahead and ripped my tires off for me.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

Start your own apartment community!

Posted by: The Reason braintrust, half toasted at March 23, 2021 10:41 PM (QzkSJ)

196 Hello Horde. Prayers up for you Infidel, and for your family. Also for Roger and Jerry.

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 23, 2021 10:41 PM (kTRt4)

197 Wife says the dream lounger looks like a fox or cat bottom...so there...

Posted by: Mishdog at March 23, 2021 10:41 PM (cqAUI)

198 Posted by: Yoko Ono Plastic Band at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (aA3+G)


You should be nuked from orbit, just to be sure.

Posted by: pookysgirl did not break up the Beatles at March 23, 2021 10:41 PM (XKZwp)

199 Should I pass this evening into God's hands I will have experienced the best of this world and the next.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (aA3+G)


*Types*
~~~
*Deletes*

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:42 PM (87oRe)

200 "I don't know if you've been up those steps. They're a little tricky sometimes"

Trickier, now that satan is starting to grab at his feet. #twoweeks

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 23, 2021 10:42 PM (F03MK)

201 Hey, everybody, have a listen to my new dope tracks on Spotify.

The album is called "Music to Kill Frenchmen To".

Posted by: The Duke of Wellington at March 23, 2021 10:42 PM (JZT2F)

202 197 Wife says the dream lounger looks like a fox or cat bottom...so there...
Posted by: Mishdog at March 23, 2021 10:41 PM (cqAUI)

----------------

That poor woman...

Posted by: No One of Consequence at March 23, 2021 10:42 PM (CAJOC)

203 *Types*
~~~
*Deletes*
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:42 PM (87oRe)


Calm down Conor's human. Calm down.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 23, 2021 10:42 PM (aA3+G)

204 I love Bill Burr's bit on mothers having the hardest job in the world. One day I will take the time to learn tiny.url.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 10:42 PM (2DOZq)

205 Wife says the dream lounger looks like a fox or cat bottom...so there...
Posted by: Mishdog at March 23, 2021 10:41 PM (cqAUI)

You might need a plastic surgeon.

Posted by: Donald Pleasence at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (KnJdm)

206 Zappa doing Cash--that was awesome. The version from Home Free is remarkable as well: https://tinyurl.com/26y2mu98

Posted by: chris-cross at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (k8uM2)

207 Harry is messed up and doomed. Stupid dude.

Posted by: Infidel at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (E0OEG)

208 188 My favorite underrated band and underrated lead guitarist.
Easton's "Duane Eddy" style outro is gold.
Posted by: Al Bundy at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (Z7toj


I don't think Duane Allmen gets the praise he deserved either.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (LNVrA)

209 Should I pass this evening into God's hands I will have experienced the best of this world and the next.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian
---

Can't say I experienced the best in this world.

So can't say I'd be disappointed if I died in my sleep.

Posted by: SMH at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (wparq)

210 MH: BTW, that is a fantastic, and a bit surrealistic, lead photo. Very striking!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (87oRe)

211 My free advice is ALWAYS undervalued.

Posted by: Miklosian Consulting in Chap. 11 at March 23, 2021 10:36 PM (QzkSJ)

You'd be surprised how many people come back and thank me later. I am basically a walking encyclopedia of flaws but I do have a gift for not talking shit about shit I don't know about, and being very precise in what I suggest to people.

Occasionally I get someone outright crapping on my advice and those people go in The Book. Never lift a hangnail for them again. I swear looking back they've all been lefties. Ungrateful shitstains. It shouldn't piss me off but it does.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (uEbPt)

212 The steps are tricky?

Then Donald Trump must be fucking amazing, that's what you're saying, Jen. Climbing stairs like a Boss!

Posted by: t-bird at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (1vynn)

213 This Buttered-Up place seems nice.

Posted by: Prince Charles at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (IWSCu)

214 178 Woman doesn't do regular basic hygiene or clean house, blames it on "parenting" but has time to publish hateful screed about husband, who does. Seems perfectly apt for the world we live in.
Posted by: Farmer Bob at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (7o4Oo)

ahh.
a woke Democrat.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (sy5kK)

215 Infidel, yup.
I've read his relationship with his family is just plain damaged beyond repair, to forget the giant stain on the BRF.

Also from what I've read in the MSM, even Wallis Simpson was more honorable of a person than Meghan.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (L2ZTs)

216 No sympathy for "Erin". Seems an ungrateful bitch.

Posted by: JQ at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (09wCi)

217 Eleven!

Posted by: Heirloominati, Got Mashed Potato - Ain't Got No T-Bone at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (CtJ/Z)

218 The steps are tricky?

Then Donald Trump must be fucking amazing, that's what you're saying, Jen. Climbing stairs like a Boss!

Posted by: t-bird at March 23, 2021 10:44 PM (1vynn)

Yeah the old very tricky one step evenly after the other, steps.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (uEbPt)

219 Then Donald Trump must be fucking amazing, that's what you're saying, Jen. Climbing stairs like a Boss!
Posted by: t-bird

Not to mention our lovely first lady, Melania. She did it hundreds of times in heels!

Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (Rvt88)

220 >>>https://youtu.be/SqQgDwA0BNU
Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 10:39 PM (Rvt8

======

I'm forwarding this to my wife. Well, she is for now.

Posted by: Swingin' for the downs at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (o9apC)

221 I resent that he can walk away, head downstairs, or off to work and take that vacation.
Taking care of your kids is certainly work. But, uh, so is work, toots.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (qlFIA)

222 204 I love Bill Burr's bit on mothers having the hardest job in the world. One day I will take the time to learn tiny.url.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 10:42 PM (2DOZq)

Oh no, don't worry about that nonsense. Let's just see the link. Please post it for us.

Posted by: The Barrel at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (f61hu)

223

Trump switched the stairs!

Trump switched the stairs !

Posted by: will choose a nic later at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (r4bSV)

224 180 This thread is obviously in the pay of Hellman's
Posted by: Duke's mayonnaise at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (QzkSJ)

that's a lie, including the "the " and the " in"

Posted by: LIllian at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (6iURM)

225 "That is not even close to all he does around the house either. He's the dishwasher, the grocery collector, the garbage remover, and the maintenance man."

When I tried to wash the dishes, my psycho-b ex-gf would get angry. "Oh, that's how you hint that I'm not doing my job around here" or whatever. Shit, all I wanted was a clean fork to eat with. Whatever chicks say they want, it ain't what they really want, if they even know what it is.

Posted by: Zero Insertion Force gp at March 23, 2021 10:46 PM (qpX6U)

226 MisHum, since I can tell you enjoy the noisy rock:

https://youtu.be/3DtgWrFTtQk

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:46 PM (L2ZTs)

227 Those stairs are really tricky. I mean Obama, Bush, Reagan and Trump all stumbled up and down all the time. Right?

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 10:46 PM (Zx3Bu)

228 that's a lie, including the "the " and the " in"
Posted by: LIllian


HA!

Posted by: Mary "Miklos" McGrory at March 23, 2021 10:46 PM (QzkSJ)

229 195 When they stole my Volvo S60, they didn't even put it on a flatbed. It's all wheel drive so they just went ahead and ripped my tires off for me.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice
Start your own apartment community!
Posted by: The Reason braintrust, half toasted at March 23, 2021 10:41 PM (QzkSJ)

I'm glad i don't live where you do, y5. My defense attorney would be rich AF. Tow company owner would be followed home, his shiz all vandalized and what not. Landlord would be getting some hate as well. Best i stay in the south where people are respectful of other's property.

Posted by: BifBewalski - anger management at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (VcFUs)

230 I'm forwarding this to my wife. Well, she is for now.
Posted by: Swingin' for the downs

Tread softly there Pardner. My spousal unit just looked at me with a blank stare after she viewed it.



I don't get it.

Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (Rvt88)

231 This thread is obviously in the pay of Hellman's
Posted by: Duke's mayonnaise at March 23, 2021 10:38 PM (QzkSJ)


Tried Dukes recently. For the first time ! Not bad, not bad at all. Is that a southern thing ?

Posted by: runner at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (zr5Kq)

232 Does it help that I'd just given him The Lieutenants to read?
Posted by: Diogenes at March 23, 2021 10:40 PM (axyOa)

-------

Cool, a new fan!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (kTF2Z)

233 Posted by: The Barrel at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (f61hu)

Scary turn of events, The Barrel appears to have achieved self-awareness!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (87oRe)

234 207 Harry is messed up and doomed. Stupid dude.
Posted by: Infidel at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (E0OEG)

He is married to an Erin

Posted by: LIllian at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (6iURM)

235 . I dont leave the house: its not safe with an infant during a pandemic.
Presuming the author is a 20-30 year old woman who isn't morbidly obese, it is actually pretty darn safe.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (qlFIA)

236 Little Known True Fact (tm):

Ric Ocasek and Paula Porizkova hold the Official Record for The Most Dramatic Difference Between How Ugly The Dude Is And How Beautiful The Gal Is, measured at approximately 27.5 light years.

Seriously, dude must have been able to lick the alphabet in 7 languages, including dipthongs, umlauts, abbreviations and cursive.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (WOG6U)

237 I regularly thank my wife for the magic drawers full of fresh clean clothes. I do my fair bit but I don't think she trusts me with the washing machine.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:48 PM (uEbPt)

238 The Darryl Hanna death scene in the recut Blade Runner is friggin awesome!


Tarantino got her to recreate it in Kill Bill.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:48 PM (LNVrA)

239 "lick the alphabet in 7 languages, including dipthongs, umlauts, abbreviations and cursive."

Porizkova: use Cyrillic alphabet?

Posted by: Zero Insertion Force gp at March 23, 2021 10:48 PM (qpX6U)

240 I saw a great bumper sticker today on a pickup.
"No airbags, we die like men"
On par with, "Alcohol, tobacco and firearms, who's bringing the chips?"

Posted by: Winston, GOPe, not one dime, not one vote at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (z985I)

241 Hrothgar, the Barrel has been self-aware for quite some time now.

It's also capitalized nicely on its own notoriety. The Barrel expanded to contain its very own shopping mall, and recently launched a chain of Barrel-themed casual dining establishments.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (L2ZTs)

242 >>>Tread softly there Pardner. My spousal unit just looked at me with a blank stare after she viewed it.

I don't get it.
Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (Rvt8

=====

That's a terrible thing to say.

Posted by: Swingin' for the downs at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (o9apC)

243 Whatever chicks say they want, it ain't what they really want, if they even know what it is.
Yeah, I've dealt with this before too - had an ex that got mad when I'd do the dishes, the laundry, whatever, would then also complain if I didn't do it on the schedule she wanted. So...an ex like I said. Fortunately not *all* women are like that.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (qlFIA)

244
I don't think Duane Allmen gets the praise he deserved either.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (LNVrA)

You've certainly got that right.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (sy5kK)

245 Yeah the old very tricky one step evenly after the other, steps.
Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (uEbPt)

-----------------

Perhaps we should all send him this video

https://youtu.be/NRNiOpoZHV4

Posted by: No One of Consequence at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (CAJOC)

246 I expect baby ducklings to find stairs tricky. But only the first time.

Posted by: t-bird at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (ELgVT)

247 He is married to an Erin
Posted by: LIllian

Yep.

Posted by: Infidel at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (E0OEG)

248 That Dream Lounger, I mean, my god. How did they not see that?

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (emxxF)

249 What's an Erin? Is that Karen's boss?

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (L2ZTs)

250 209 Should I pass this evening into God's hands I will have experienced the best of this world and the next.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian
---

Can't say I experienced the best in this world.

So can't say I'd be disappointed if I died in my sleep.
Posted by: SMH at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (wparq)

Well, sh*t,
I'm grateful for all I've seen and I would be grateful to die in my sleep tonight.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (IDhUW)

251 I'm no Julia Roberts fan but Lyle Lovett looked like he stuck his face in a fan, took a trip to Mars on the outside of a rocket, came back to Earth, and had someone punch his face into a caricature.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (uEbPt)

252 so, an Erin is a Karen to their relatives

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (6iURM)

253 >>>Tread softly there Pardner. My spousal unit just looked at me with a blank stare after she viewed it.



I don't get it.
Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (Rvt8

=====

Seriously though, she just said she's sending it to our two teenage sons.

Posted by: Swingin' for the downs at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (o9apC)

254
Also, I'm a pretty even-tempered guy, even when someone steals my fucking car for no real reason, shreds the rear tires off, and makes me pay $600+ to get it out of jail.

Angry as I was at the condo complex for everything that happened (and I was pissed), I still retained some degree of equanimity when I went to pay the ransom. That's when I encountered the drooling inbreed at Ace Towing of 30 S. Tejon St., Denver. And I'm not kidding. She had that inbred fish-face, she was dumb as a stump and twice as ugly, with a heavy dose of irrational, consanguinated aggression added to the mix. She'd be living in a cave and eating wayward travelers in a less developed country.

After I got ejected from the office, I stood around the curb smoking until one of the drivers (a normal human with parents from different families) came out, and he got me squared away.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (Uh2oA)

255 I'm the Duke of New York. A-Number One!

Posted by: Andrew Cuomo at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (63Dwl)

256 I don't think Duane Allmen gets the praise he deserved either.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (LNVrA)

Awomen to that.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (uEbPt)

257 jumped from the 14th floor and it appeared the parachute didn't deploy.

Question for the Horde: From the 14th floor, would it matter if the parachute *did* deploy?

Posted by: Chuck C at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (awtm/)

258 Pooky praises me for my magic with the laundry, because I've saved clothes that he thought were beyond saving.

Posted by: pookysgirl knows how to pretreat stains at March 23, 2021 10:51 PM (XKZwp)

259 That Dream Lounger, I mean, my god. How did they not see that?
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (emxxF)

Is that like what George Clooney was building in Burn After Reading?

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof at March 23, 2021 10:51 PM (x8Wzq)

260
transgenderism is simply a mental disease

Posted by: will choose a nic later at March 23, 2021 10:51 PM (r4bSV)

261 Redacted, ah. Thanks.

Although I wonder what you'd call a super-Karen.
A MacLaren?

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:51 PM (L2ZTs)

262 I'm no Julia Roberts fan but Lyle Lovett looked like he stuck his face in a fan, took a trip to Mars on the outside of a rocket, came back to Earth, and had someone punch his face into a caricature.
Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (uEbPt)


Must have made her laugh. Women like that....

Posted by: runner at March 23, 2021 10:51 PM (zr5Kq)

263 Showers and personal hygiene are not daily occurrences, and when they do
happen, its rushed and with at least one child at my feet. Some days I
dont brush my teeth at all.

Someone generations previous to this one managed with much less help from the father and more kids.

I'd be a bit worried about the marriage if she ain't even bothering to shower or brush her teeth on a daily basis and it isn't just after the birth of a kid (which is admittedly much harder)

Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 10:52 PM (qlFIA)

264 All kidding aside, I have just finished being mesmerized, nay, captivated by watching the movie "Tolkien", the allegedly loosely-fact-based story of how JRR Tolkien, whom I believe to be the greatest writer of the 20th Century, found his muse as well as the love of his life, his wife Edith.

I absolutely loved this movie and highly recommend it. Dare I say, it was beautiful.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 10:52 PM (WOG6U)

265 >>>Can't say I experienced the best in this world.

So can't say I'd be disappointed if I died in my sleep.
Posted by: SMH at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (wparq)

======

You and me both, sister.

Posted by: Swingin' for the downs at March 23, 2021 10:52 PM (o9apC)

266 In those 70s Southern Rock bands, it was easy to tell when somebody was gonna die.

All they had to do was say "I'm gonna go riding on my motorcycle!!" :-P

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:52 PM (L2ZTs)

267 233 Posted by: The Barrel at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (f61hu)

Scary turn of events, The Barrel appears to have achieved self-awareness!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 10:47 PM (87oRe)

I remember when this happened with spam. That was hilarious!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at March 23, 2021 10:52 PM (IDhUW)

268 Prayers for Strength and Peace for Roger and Jerry ...

Posted by: Adriane the Critic ... at March 23, 2021 10:53 PM (LPnfS)

269 You've certainly got that right.
Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (sy5kK

Certainly ironic given the plane crash

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 10:53 PM (LNVrA)

270 It's also capitalized nicely on its own notoriety. The Barrel expanded to contain its very own shopping mall, and recently launched a chain of Barrel-themed casual dining establishments.

yeah, then came masks.

Posted by: JEM at March 23, 2021 10:53 PM (8erNz)

271 Ugly guy singers seem to always get super models or Hollywood actresses.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 10:53 PM (2DOZq)

272 261 Redacted, ah. Thanks.

I did sumptin for someone

I must be slippin

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 10:53 PM (6iURM)

273 Billy Joel, Gene Simmons... Something to be said for being a musician.

Posted by: t-bird at March 23, 2021 10:53 PM (CTJwJ)

274 I absolutely loved this movie and highly recommend it. Dare I say, it was beautiful.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 10:52 PM (WOG6U)

I need to add it to my list. I've heard noting but good things about it.

I actually have Fellowship of the Ring on deck. Been a while since I've read LoTR.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof at March 23, 2021 10:53 PM (x8Wzq)

275
Scary turn of events, The Barrel appears to have achieved self-awareness!

I WILL SUCK YOU ALL IN, LIKE KAMALA HARRIS IS A SMOKE FILLED BACK ROOM.

AND I HUNGER!

Posted by: The Barrel at March 23, 2021 10:54 PM (qlFIA)

276 All I had to say was "I wanna ride my bicycle" and Bam! I'm dead

Posted by: Freddy M at March 23, 2021 10:54 PM (Z7toj)

277 The Barrel expanded to contain its very own shopping mall, and recently launched a chain of Barrel-themed casual dining establishments.

That's only for Crackers.

Posted by: Miklos will have the chicken and dumplings at March 23, 2021 10:54 PM (QzkSJ)

278 Freddy, ya shouldn't have attached the ACME rocket motor to yer Huffy.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:54 PM (L2ZTs)

279 Ugly guy singers seem to always get super models or Hollywood actresses.
Men like beautiful women, women like famous, wealthy guys.

Its a match made in, well, Hollywood.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 10:54 PM (qlFIA)

280 I'm no Julia Roberts fan but Lyle Lovett looked like he stuck his face in a fan...


You overlook the obvious: Super.Penis.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 10:55 PM (emxxF)

281 Haven't talked to him for over a year. Granddaughter is 6. And a real cutie.

Overdue for the call.


You have support what limited I can do if you need/want it. See my earlier comment.

Posted by: JEM at March 23, 2021 10:55 PM (8erNz)

282
I may be misremembering, but I think Lyle Lovett's face got all fucked up when he was rescuing a kid from a burning building.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 10:55 PM (Uh2oA)

283 When I tried to wash the dishes, my psycho-b ex-gf would get angry. "Oh, that's how you hint that I'm not doing my job around here" or whatever.

Posted by: Zero Insertion Force gp at March 23, 2021 10:46 PM (qpX6U)

You can't do anything with people like that. They don't trust anything you say, and they think they have every algebraic communication equation solved.

They hear emanations and penumbras that a team of screenwriters on LSD couldn't dream up. It's a rabbit hole in a mobius strip. Maddening.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:55 PM (uEbPt)

284 Stargazer. Rainbow. Holy hell, Ronnie James Dio. Easily my favorite vocalist. He sounded just as good in his later years. May he rest in peace.

And he liked kittehs.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof at March 23, 2021 10:56 PM (x8Wzq)

285
In those 70s Southern Rock bands, it was easy to tell when somebody was gonna die.

All they had to do was say "I'm gonna go riding on my motorcycle!!" :-P
Posted by: qdpsteve


Or take a charter flight.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 10:56 PM (63Dwl)

286 Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 10:55 PM (Uh2oA)

Oh.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 10:56 PM (uEbPt)

287 Bertram, exactly.

Tip for Southern Rockers who want to live long lives: NEVER TRAVEL ANYWHERE IN ANY WAY FOR ANY REASON.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:57 PM (L2ZTs)

288
I pretty sure there is a math equazion/function to how fat your wallet is to how hot your wife is

Posted by: will choose a nic later at March 23, 2021 10:57 PM (r4bSV)

289 241 Hrothgar, the Barrel has been self-aware for quite some time now.

It's also capitalized nicely on its own notoriety. The Barrel expanded to contain its very own shopping mall, and recently launched a chain of Barrel-themed casual dining establishments.
Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:49 PM (L2ZTs)

I heard that Cracker Barrel was suing the Barrel for lifting their name.
Maybe gonna find a Q-Tip.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:57 PM (sy5kK)

290 It sounds like Erin is going crazy because of the pandemic isolation. Also, it could be that her husband is simply a clean, high achiever, and she is messy, low achiever and resents him. Which also might be because she doesn't leave the house EVER.

Posted by: Vyx at March 23, 2021 10:57 PM (tjZg/)

291 I like Lyle Lovett. He's cool as fuck. Saw him in an episode of Dharma and Greg. Funny.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof at March 23, 2021 10:57 PM (x8Wzq)

292 Xavier Cugat and Charo

Aristotle Onassis and any of his wives or mistresses

Gregory Arend and Christina Hendricks

And the all-time winner: Carlo Ponti, who bagged a 23-year-old Sophia Loren when he was a short, ugly 45 year old dude.

Posted by: The Duke of Wellington at March 23, 2021 10:57 PM (JZT2F)

293 You overlook the obvious: Super.Penis.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 10:55 PM (emxxF)


Oh, I thought you said something else.

Posted by: Wile E Coyote at March 23, 2021 10:57 PM (LNVrA)

294 Freddy, ya shouldn't have attached the ACME rocket motor to yer Huffy.
Posted by: qdpsteve

Now you tell me!

Posted by: Zombie overrated front man of the most overrated band ever at March 23, 2021 10:58 PM (Z7toj)

295
The Barrel expanded to contain its very own shopping mall, and recently launched a chain of Barrel-themed casual dining establishments.

Crate and Barrel

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 10:58 PM (63Dwl)

296 288
I pretty sure there is a math equazion/function to how fat your wallet is to how hot your wife is
Posted by: will choose a nic later at March 23, 2021 10:57 PM (r4bSV)

How will the golddiggers figure out their marks with them now using Bitcoin?

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 10:58 PM (sy5kK)

297 264 All kidding aside, I have just finished being mesmerized, nay, captivated by watching the movie "Tolkien", the allegedly loosely-fact-based story of how JRR Tolkien, whom I believe to be the greatest writer of the 20th Century, found his muse as well as the love of his life, his wife Edith.

I absolutely loved this movie and highly recommend it. Dare I say, it was beautiful.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 10:52 PM (WOG6U)

Agreed. It was a lovely movie. I took my family to NYC to see the Tolkien exhibit at the Morgan Library. It featured a lot of his notes regarding construction of The Hobbit, and went into his WWI experiences, and his college classmates. Simply devastating. Afterwards, I was close to tears thinking about what a monumental waste of the best and brightest that war turned out to be, especially from Tolkien's perspective.

Posted by: The Barrel at March 23, 2021 10:58 PM (f61hu)

298 I may be misremembering, but I think Lyle Lovett's face got all fucked up when he was rescuing a kid from a burning building.

And he put the fire on Seal's face out with an ice pick. That's another one.

Posted by: t-bird at March 23, 2021 10:58 PM (CTJwJ)

299 Ok. Who fapped to the hot red head on the cover of The Cars Candy-O?

I don't care that she was a drawing. Them bewbs were spectacular to a kid in junior high.

Posted by: JROD at March 23, 2021 10:58 PM (0jZnq)

300 265 >>>Can't say I experienced the best in this world.

So can't say I'd be disappointed if I died in my sleep.
Posted by: SMH at March 23, 2021 10:43 PM (wparq)

======

You and me both, sister.
Posted by: Swingin' for the downs at March 23, 2021 10:52 PM (o9apC)

Srsly SMH?
Your daughter is talking to you and you have another generation, grand babies, that you can witness to? Praise God and do it!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at March 23, 2021 10:58 PM (IDhUW)

301 elliptical machines square machines trapezoidal machines pentagonal machines octagonal machines circular machines machines shaped like nothing we can describe machines that change shape when you aren't watching rhomboid machines isosceles machines machines shaped like the mull of kintyre peninsula machines shaped like angelina jolie's buttocks why waste time getting to know men or women when there are sexy sexy machines for sale machines that will love you machines you will love machines that will give you pleasure so much pleasure pleasure that will make the rest of your life seem dull and unimportant so you will hurry back to your machines machines that you will never turn off machines that will make you forget to eat machines that will feed you through tubes while taking you to new heights of ecstasy and pain machines you will worship machines you will serve willingly machines that will consume you body and soul machines that will abandon you with nothing but a charming gift bag for your trouble

Posted by: MACHINES FOR SALE at March 23, 2021 10:59 PM (G0bXQ)

302 There are several dining specialties at the Barrel Restaurants:

- Bat Flambe
- Chicken-Fried Quokka with Squirrel Gravy
- Canadian-Style Gruel, sous vide-ed in its own natural juices
- Tiramisu, made with real lady's fingers

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:59 PM (L2ZTs)

303 jumped from the 14th floor and it appeared the parachute didn't deploy.

Question for the Horde: From the 14th floor, would it matter if the parachute *did* deploy?
Posted by: Chuck C at March 23, 2021 10:50 PM (awtm/)

If he had a BASE jumping chute he should have been able to survive.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 10:59 PM (2DOZq)

304 been properly fucked for quite some time.


Heterosexually speaking, is there an improper way.

* nervously waits

Posted by: Sock Monkey * el Lobo solitario at March 23, 2021 11:00 PM (TIOIq)

305 - shaped like angelina jolie's buttocks -

sweet ! how much?

Posted by: will choose a nic later at March 23, 2021 11:00 PM (r4bSV)

306 160
>>totally ignored my advice.

Why do they hire us if they're going to discard our advice? You can lead the client to water, but you can't make him drink.

Posted by: chris-cross at March 23, 2021 11:00 PM (k8uM2)

307 Dio Sabbath is best Sabbath.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof at March 23, 2021 11:01 PM (x8Wzq)

308 If the HOA towed my car for dents, by morning every HOA members' car would have dents as well.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at March 23, 2021 11:01 PM (fsmFZ)

309 276 All I had to say was "I wanna ride my bicycle" and Bam! I'm dead
Posted by: Freddy M at March 23, 2021 10:54 PM (Z7toj)

Well, that and taking a hundred or more AIDs infested dicks up your ass.

But yeah, "bicycle".

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 11:01 PM (sy5kK)

310 A guy finds a lamp and rubs it. Out pops a genie.
I grant you three wishes.
First, I want all the lawyers to disappear.
It is done. Also, no more wishes.
You said three wishes!
So sue me.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 10:11 PM


Guy: Can I at least wish that Erin be even more miserable?
Genie (checks ONT, laughs): Definitely. Also, I'll give you the two wishes back.

Posted by: Chuck C at March 23, 2021 11:01 PM (awtm/)

311 Tip for Southern Rockers who want to live long lives: NEVER TRAVEL ANYWHERE IN ANY WAY FOR ANY REASON.

Posted by: qdpsteve

Whiskey bottle, brand new car, oak tree you're in my way...

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 23, 2021 11:01 PM (F03MK)

312 Ha. I did the first riff on the machines for sale spam. I mean the one with the pipe delimiters. Kind of became a thing for a while.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 11:01 PM (uEbPt)

313 Seriously though, she just said she's sending it to our two teenage sons.
Posted by: Swingin' for the downs

In all honesty, I do all the cooking and Mrs. does all the laundry and cleaning. We both are thrilled with the arrangement.

Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 11:01 PM (Rvt88)

314 I absolutely loved this movie and highly recommend it. Dare I say, it was beautiful.

Posted by: Sharkman
---
How did I not know about this movie?! Will check this out tomorrow. Thanks Sharkman.

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (kTRt4)

315
My understanding is that annual KL Tower base jump is pretty dangerous, and that sucker is like 1,200 feet tall or something. 14 stories seems suicidal by comparison.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (Uh2oA)

316 Srsly SMH?
Your daughter is talking to you and you have another generation, grand babies, that you can witness to? Praise God and do it!
Posted by: AmericanKestrel
---

I'm not allowed to witness to them...no Jesus talk around them.

I love my family, but I'm tired.

Posted by: SMH at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (wparq)

317 I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride my bike.

Posted by: Lindsey Graham at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (IWSCu)

318 Mr Machine, do you have anything is the anti-spam realm?

Please do the needful and remain blessed.

Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (Rvt88)

319 Niters, y'all.

Posted by: SMH at March 23, 2021 11:03 PM (wparq)

320 Posted by: MACHINES FOR SALE at March 23, 2021 10:59 PM (G0bXQ)

------

Do you have machines that make lace wigs?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:03 PM (kTF2Z)

321 > Dio Sabbath is best Sabbath.

Disagree. Dio was a great vocalist, but he never really worked in Sabbath for me.

Posted by: The Duke of Wellington at March 23, 2021 11:03 PM (JZT2F)

322
I don't care that she was a drawing. Them bewbs were spectacular to a kid in junior high.
Posted by: JROD


By Vargas

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 11:04 PM (63Dwl)

323 Niters, y'all.
Posted by: SMH at March 23, 2021 11:03 PM (wparq)

G'night. Chin up.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof at March 23, 2021 11:04 PM (x8Wzq)

324 DLV, gotta watch out for those crazy oak trees jumping in the middle of the road

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 11:04 PM (L2ZTs)

325 Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (Uh2oA)

World record is 29 meters.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:04 PM (2DOZq)

326 Off, inbred Irish nobleman sock.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:04 PM (JZT2F)

327 302 There are several dining specialties at the Barrel Restaurants:

- Bat Flambe
- Chicken-Fried Quokka with Squirrel Gravy
- Canadian-Style Gruel, sous vide-ed in its own natural juices
- Tiramisu, made with real lady's fingers
Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 10:59 PM (L2ZTs)

Oh, and let's not forget the piece de resistance:

French Toast, sans maple syrup.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at March 23, 2021 11:04 PM (f61hu)

328
I need a machine that will cover all modalities, if one is available. It should also make my dick bigger and give me stronger, longer-lasting erections, without too high of a markup. My budget is four trillion Nigerian drachmas.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:04 PM (Uh2oA)

329 And he put the fire on Seal's face out with an ice pick. That's another one.
Posted by: t-bird

*catches breath, wipes tear* Shit, I haven't laughed out loud like that in forever.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 23, 2021 11:04 PM (F03MK)

330 Lyle Lovett was on a Blue Bloods show a couple of years ago, as a Texas Ranger who followed a bad guy to NYC, where he ran into Danny, the hard-core New Yorker.
Both tried to out-tough the other guy, resented each other at first, then realized they were mostly similar people with different accents.

It was a good episode.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 23, 2021 11:05 PM (sy5kK)

331 Posted by: MACHINES FOR SALE at March 23, 2021 10:59 PM (G0bXQ)


Where is Sonobi?

Posted by: runner at March 23, 2021 11:05 PM (zr5Kq)

332 Darrell, yup. That was an invention of their head chef. Let me think, what was his name again?...

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 11:05 PM (L2ZTs)

333 318 Mr Machine, do you have anything is the anti-spam realm?

Please do the needful and remain blessed.
Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (Rvt8

---------------------------

I had a Mr. Machine when I was young. It was a wind-up robot. Body was clear plastic, so you could see the gears and other inner workings. It was one of my favorite toys.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at March 23, 2021 11:05 PM (CAJOC)

334 If the HOA towed my car for dents, by morning every HOA members' car would have dents as well.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger

My kin are from Tennessee. We might be related.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * el Lobo solitario at March 23, 2021 11:06 PM (TIOIq)

335 runner, did you know Sonobi's original name was Sonofobi?

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 23, 2021 11:06 PM (L2ZTs)

336
I looked up minimum parachute height for normal skydiving. 2000' is apparently the absolute minimum opening height. 2500' is for less experienced, and the newbie minimum is 5000' or so.

You can jump from lower than the 2000' but this high skill stuff with special equipment. You need a chute that can open very quickly. BASE jumpers are in this class. Very large pilot chutes are used, pre deployed. You do not reach terminal velocity at these low heights, and that requires a lot of modification and skill.

100' seems to be about the lowest height. And you've got to be one hell of good jumper to do this. BASE jumping is one of the most dangerous "extreme sports" there is.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 23, 2021 11:06 PM (Mzdiz)

337 Dio Sabbath is best Sabbath.


Heaven and Hell was great. But, no.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 23, 2021 11:06 PM (IWSCu)

338 Good evening, Horde!

Fantastic ONT, MisHum. Just finished the content!

Posted by: Ladyl, Insurrectionist at March 23, 2021 11:06 PM (TdMsT)

339 I'm not allowed to witness to them...no Jesus talk around them.

I love my family, but I'm tired.
Posted by: SMH at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (wparq)

I'm sorry. I understand tired. Your life, not your words will witness. God help us.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (IDhUW)

340
And he put the fire on Seal's face out with an ice pick. That's another one.

------

LOLOL. But I think Seal's thing was some weird face disease of some kind.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (Uh2oA)

341 Dio Sabbath is best Sabbath.

Disagree. Dio was a great vocalist, but he never really worked in Sabbath for me.

Posted by: The Duke of Wellington at March 23, 2021 11:03 PM (JZT2F)

Actually, Iommi would not disagree.

But my first Black Sabbath album was Heaven and Hell. I love that one with all my heart. Got me away from Kiss and the other trite 70s BS. My love of metal has earned some time in purgatory, I am certain.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (x8Wzq)

342 Well, that and taking a hundred or more AIDs infested dicks up your ass.

But yeah, "bicycle".
Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg

LMFAO!!! Ya got me!

Posted by: Zombie overrated front man of the most overrated band ever at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (Z7toj)

343 If you dont like HOAs dont live in one. I never get people who willingly buy into an HOA and then 5 minutes later whine about the rules. Its like LIVs from CA who move to flyover and then complain it is not California and go to work turning it into California.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (Zx3Bu)

344 314 I absolutely loved this movie and highly recommend it. Dare I say, it was beautiful.

Posted by: Sharkman
---
How did I not know about this movie?! Will check this out tomorrow. Thanks Sharkman.
Posted by: screaming in digital at March 23, 2021 11:02 PM (kTRt4


What movie? I must have missed the post.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (LNVrA)

345 Whiskey bottle, brand new car, oak tree you're in my way...
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings


Hell, Yes!

Posted by: Adriane the Southern Rock Critic ... at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (LPnfS)

346 With all of the choreplay mentioned, I bet Erin isn't even fucking her husband very often.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at March 23, 2021 11:08 PM (DXFDM)

347
I think Seals face was tribal tatoos , like from Africa

Posted by: will choose a nic later at March 23, 2021 11:08 PM (r4bSV)

348 LOLOL. But I think Seal's thing was some weird face disease of some kind.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (Uh2oA)

IIRC it was a tribal marking /scarring. At least that's what I heard.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:08 PM (2DOZq)

349 {{{Ladyl}}}
And fine content it was, eh?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 11:09 PM (87oRe)

350 What movie? I must have missed the post.
Posted by: AlaBAMA
---
Tolkien:

https://imdb.to/2PnEdpe

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 23, 2021 11:10 PM (kTRt4)

351 The great trick Sonobi ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 11:10 PM (rdbLX)

352 If I ran a company I sure as hell wouldn't contract BetterUp's services, they're overpriced if they can afford to clutter up their executive payroll with half-wit Eurotrash ex-royals.

Posted by: yop at March 23, 2021 11:11 PM (V0Ztm)

353 Tolkien:

https://imdb.to/2PnEdpe

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 23, 2021 11:10 PM (kTRt4


Ah, thanks! I've seen it and also recommend highly

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 11:11 PM (LNVrA)

354 2 DC girls arrested in armed carjacking

driver died in crash

girls, 13 and 15 yo

no word on the ethnicity of suspects

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:11 PM (6iURM)

355 Giraffe pen couple of weeks from completion.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:11 PM (2DOZq)

356 Arf!

Posted by: Sandy at March 23, 2021 11:11 PM (fLVm1)

357 One thing I learned about my washing machine is the short 22 minute cycle cleans as well
As the 72 minute cycle and uses a fraction of the water and electricity. Ditto for the dishwasher short vs regular cycle.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 11:12 PM (Zx3Bu)

358 348 LOLOL. But I think Seal's thing was some weird face disease of some kind.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (Uh2oA)

IIRC it was a tribal marking /scarring. At least that's what I heard.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:08 PM (2DOZq)

I heard he got into a scrape with an Eskimo

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:12 PM (6iURM)

359
2 DC girls arrested in armed carjacking
driver died in crash
girls, 13 and 15 yo
no word on the ethnicity of suspects
Posted by: REDACTED


They just wanted to go to Miami and party.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 11:12 PM (63Dwl)

360
Well, however Seal and Lovett got their faces like that, I have to admire guys who can sing through it and get famous.

People were talking about less-than-attractive female singers the other day, Billie Eilish, Janis Joplin, etc. But they're just run-of-the-mill Hollywood ugly. Lovett and Seal and Steven Tyler are "John Carpenter" ugly.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (Uh2oA)

361 Giraffe pen couple of weeks from completion.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:11 PM (2DOZ

Heh that was supposed to be a text to a friend. Multi tasking.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (2DOZq)

362 lol, qdpsteve

Posted by: runner at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (zr5Kq)

363 I had no idea keeping sharks at home is regulated.

Where does it end?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (fLVm1)

364 Wiki says
The prominent scarring on Seal's face is the result of a type of lupus called discoid lupus erythematosus, which affects the skin and leaves large scar

Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (qlFIA)

365 356 Arf!
Posted by: Sandy at March 23, 2021 11:11 PM (fLVm1)



Hah!
7 "Woof!"

Posted by: says Conor at March 23, 2021 10:00 PM (87oRe)

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (87oRe)

366 354

MAGA girls for sure. Even though DC is 95% black.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 11:14 PM (Zx3Bu)

367 no word on the ethnicity of suspects
Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:11 PM (6iURM)

---------

It's a puzzler.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:14 PM (kTF2Z)

368 >If you dont like HOAs dont live in one.

I don't.

Because I enjoy actually owning my own property, rather than being subject to the veto power of whatever bunch of Karens manages to slime their way into positions of petty authority.

That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to make fun of the HOA cucks, though.



Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:14 PM (JZT2F)

369 I actually have Fellowship of the Ring on deck. Been a while since I've read LoTR.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof



LotR is at the top of the 231 unread books currently residing on my Kindle. Been about 20 years since I've read it through. Time to remedy that.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 11:14 PM (WOG6U)

370 Giraffe pen??

Posted by: Zettai at March 23, 2021 11:14 PM (szPRO)

371 LOLOL. But I think Seal's thing was some weird face disease of some kind.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (Uh2oA)

IIRC it was a tribal marking /scarring. At least that's what I heard.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:08 PM (2DOZq)

I heard he got into a scrape with an Eskimo


Whoppin' on Nanook's favorite baby seal with a lead filled snowshoe?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Serving all Americans, even the Neanderthals. at March 23, 2021 11:15 PM (SchxB)

372 349 {{{Ladyl}}}
And fine content it was, eh?
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 11:09 PM (87oRe)


As per usual, {{{Hrothgar}}}

I get most of my news on the ONT!!!

Posted by: Ladyl, Insurrectionist at March 23, 2021 11:15 PM (TdMsT)

373 Hubby retired 2 yrs ago. Back then, I thought: "woohoo, finally get some help around the house & maybe a meal waiting for me when I get home from wrk..." (he's several yrs older than me)

Oh, no. Nope. Nada.

Now he's ill and *can't* help. Not that he would, back when he could've...

I'm torn.

Posted by: JQ at March 23, 2021 11:15 PM (09wCi)

374 If I ran a company I sure as hell wouldn't contract BetterUp's services




I read their "executives' " profiles. That thing is some kind of money laundering op.

Posted by: runner at March 23, 2021 11:15 PM (zr5Kq)

375 "those steps are a little tricky"

Sure. We spend millions of dollars to protect the President, even going so far as to deprive citizens of their rights for his safety. But we those pesky steps...

Posted by: Fen at March 23, 2021 11:16 PM (Ov8iZ)

376 What movie? I must have missed the post.
Posted by: AlaBAMA
---
Tolkien:

https://imdb.to/2PnEdpe

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 23, 2021 11:10 PM (kTRt4)

I must get this movie. The Hobbit and the LotR were the first books I read without being assigned to read it at school. Tolkien is absolutely my favorite writer. I said this up-thread, but The Fellowship of the Ring is on deck.

I have my dad to thank for introducing me to Tolkien.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Snowboarding on my Roof at March 23, 2021 11:16 PM (x8Wzq)

377 368 >If you dont like HOAs dont live in one.

I don't.

-----------

I'm no fan of HOAs either until it's the only thing keeping your neighbor from painting his house to look like a circus tent.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:16 PM (fLVm1)

378 Hmm.... Janis Joplin wasn't conventionally pretty, to be sure.

But I always got the feeling she'd give you a good, hard, memorable fuck.

I don't get that feeling for Eilish.

So, there's that.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:16 PM (JZT2F)

379 That was the best Zappa song I've ever heard. And the first I ever listened to all the way through.

Posted by: Pastor Charles the Simple at March 23, 2021 11:17 PM (HuH1F)

380
I watched the video of Ford dropping off those last few steps on AF1. They were *way* more hardcore than these red-carpet jobs today, and it was raining.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:17 PM (Uh2oA)

381 I get most of my news on the ONT!!!
Posted by: Ladyl, Insurrectionist at March 23, 2021 11:15 PM (TdMsT)


A most wise move on your part!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 11:17 PM (87oRe)

382 no word on the ethnicity of suspects
Posted by: REDACTED

Well there's your answer.

Posted by: Zombie overrated front man of the most overrated band ever at March 23, 2021 11:17 PM (Z7toj)

383 363 I had no idea keeping sharks at home is regulated.

Where does it end?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (fLVm1


First they came for those with sharks in their basements, but I said nothing because...shut up Dumbo'

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 23, 2021 11:17 PM (LNVrA)

384
Dogs fed and put up for the evening, laundry changed over, dishwasher emptied, counters wiped down, evening prayers said. Good night, Hordians.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at March 23, 2021 11:17 PM (mht8P)

385 The national news got it wrong...parachute guy tried to base jump from the roof of the condo building, equivalent to the 24th floor. The chute didn't deploy fully, and he landed in a drainage ditch next to the building. On the rocks, lining the drainage ditch. Did I mention base jumping is illegal here because of this kind of thing? And he's a local here too, so he should have known that.

Posted by: TheCynic at March 23, 2021 11:18 PM (iHBmE)

386 373 Hubby retired 2 yrs ago. Back then, I thought: "woohoo, finally get some help around the house & maybe a meal waiting for me when I get home from wrk..." (he's several yrs older than me)

Oh, no. Nope. Nada.

Now he's ill and *can't* help. Not that he would, back when he could've...

I'm torn.
Posted by: JQ at March 23, 2021 11:15 PM (09wCi)

types

deletes

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:18 PM (6iURM)

387 most rules hoas impose are slaps city rules or ordinances. Only thing HOAs add are aesthetic things like you cant paint your house purple. But other than that if your neighbors are doing annoying shit the city can usually make them stop.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 11:18 PM (Zx3Bu)

388
I don't get that feeling for Eilish.

So, there's that.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:16 PM (JZT2F)

-------

Oh, I bet you'd remember slapping her awake from her third or fourth OD that week. That kind of thing will stay with you.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:18 PM (Uh2oA)

389 This is a pretty funny list of reasons a wife shot her husband down read by some British guy for some reason
link tinyurl.com/5d35ncu8

Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 11:18 PM (qlFIA)

390 > I'm no fan of HOAs either until it's the only thing keeping your neighbor from painting his house to look like a circus tent.

More typically, it's the the thing keeping you from painting your house anything but one of the three approved shades of beige.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:19 PM (JZT2F)

391 Off overrated sock

Posted by: Al Bundy at March 23, 2021 11:19 PM (Z7toj)

392 383 363 I had no idea keeping sharks at home is regulated.


I've got a shark and it sucks

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:19 PM (6iURM)

393 More typically, it's the the thing keeping you from painting your house anything but one of the three approved shades of beige.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:19 PM (JZT2F)



You get your choice of Bone, Ivory, or Taupe.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 11:20 PM (rdbLX)

394 I also need to re-read the Silmarillion. When I was young it took several tries to get through it.

But there is a wondrous feel to it. Mysterious, magical.

JRR Tolkien was a rare gift.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Clog Dancing on My Roof at March 23, 2021 11:20 PM (x8Wzq)

395 More typically, it's the the thing keeping you from painting your house anything but one of the three approved shades of beige.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:19 PM (JZT2F)

-----------

Irvine, CA was famous for that, but it was the entire city, not an HOA.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:20 PM (fLVm1)

396 I had no idea keeping sharks at home is regulated.

Where does it end?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (fLVm1)

----------

Animal cruelty. It's one thing to have a tiny epaulet shark in a 200 gallon aquarium. Quite another to have four sandbar sharks in your basement. Can't imagine it was a big enough tank (think Sea World). Kinda like keeping a Great Dane in a 4 by 6 foot cage.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:20 PM (kTF2Z)

397 Somebody exploded an H-bomb today, but it wasn't anybody I knew.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 11:21 PM (63Dwl)

398 380
I watched the video of Ford dropping off those last few steps on AF1. They were *way* more hardcore than these red-carpet jobs today, and it was raining.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:17 PM (Uh2oA)
----------------------

And his knees were blown from college football.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 23, 2021 11:21 PM (qrcf4)

399 Ford fact: he slept four hours a night and would take a nap mid day.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 23, 2021 11:22 PM (qrcf4)

400 I still have a WIN button.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 11:22 PM (rdbLX)

401 Wiki says
The prominent scarring on Seal's face is the result of a type of lupus called discoid lupus erythematosus, which affects the skin and leaves large scar
Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 11:13 PM (qlF

Thanks . Tribal scarring an apparent urban tale.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:22 PM (2DOZq)

402 The problem with HOAs is exactly the same problem as PTAs, church committees...

They are organizations that appeal to petty tyrants who enjoy bossing other people around.

Keeping the tyrants off these boards/committees can be a difficult task, as bullying people is their sole raison d'etre, and they will gladly devote far more time to getting on the board than you can devote to keeping them off of it.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:22 PM (JZT2F)

403 ..LOLOL. But I think Seal's thing was some weird face disease of some kind. Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:07 PM (Uh2oA)

Classic youthful mistake, Seal trying to French Kiss a lithesome Otter lass. She damn near ate his face off.


Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at March 23, 2021 11:23 PM (QzJWU)

404 You get your choice of Bone, Ivory, or Taupe.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 11:20 PM


Someone's been lurking in OM's fashion threads.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 23, 2021 11:24 PM (DMUuz)

405 Janis would have put her phone down.

Posted by: klaftern at March 23, 2021 11:24 PM (RuIsu)

406
Yeah, Ford was not a klutz nor accident prone and was pretty athletic. That was all basically Chevy Chase and SNL that created that image.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 23, 2021 11:24 PM (Mzdiz)

407 I whipped that seal's ass

Posted by: Kripik at March 23, 2021 11:25 PM (6iURM)

408 I shouldn't have posted my previous comment...

Hubby wasn't always un-helpful. I think his illness was beginning to manifest at the time he retired, but we didn't know or suspect a physical ailment then.

His liver is decompensated & who knows how much time is left?

He's still my husband and I will take care of him. We've had almost 20 years of good times.

Posted by: JQ at March 23, 2021 11:25 PM (09wCi)

409 Evening morons.

Posted by: Funsize at March 23, 2021 11:25 PM (EiPf6)

410 >> I still have a WIN button.

It will soon be time to break it out again.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 23, 2021 11:25 PM (Mzdiz)

411 I used to be into saltwater aquariums as a hobby. Still have an Oceanic 200 Bowfront in the basement if none is interested. Never did sharks though. They eat too much and grow way too fast.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:25 PM (kTF2Z)

412 Janis would have put her phone down.
Posted by: klaftern at March 23, 2021 11:24 PM (RuIsu)


--------

She would have ENGAGED.

Right until she passed out.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (fLVm1)

413 Mrs. F or Boy Franpsycho do the laundry every day.

It's maddening.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (EZebt)

414 MAGA girls for sure. Even though DC is 95% black.
Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 11:14 PM


From wiki:
According to 2017 Census Bureau data, the population of the District of Columbia, was 47.1% Black or African American, 45.1% White (36.8% non-Hispanic White), 4.3% Asian, 0.6% American Indian or Alaska Native, and 0.1% Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander. Individuals from two or more races made up 2.7% of the population. Hispanics of any race made up 11.0% of the District's population

Posted by: Chuck C at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (awtm/)

415 I mean, yeah, keeping your neighbor from making his place look like a Vegas casino (complete with a giant flashing GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! neon sign) is how the HOA is SOLD.

What it is in practice is some pinch-mouthed scold writing you up because your mailbox post is 1/4" too tall, and your house number isn't in an approved font, and your kid left his football in the front yard overnight, and...



Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (JZT2F)

416 Janis would have put her phone down.
Posted by: klaftern

Lord, won't you buy me an apple iphone
My friends all have samsung's
I feel so alone....

Posted by: Al Bundy at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (Z7toj)

417 He's still my husband and I will take care of him. We've had almost 20 years of good times.
Posted by: JQ

To care for a sick spouse grinds you down like nothing else. Hang in there!

Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (Rvt88)

418 Afterwards, I was close to tears thinking about what a monumental waste of the best and brightest that war turned out to be, especially from Tolkien's perspective.

Posted by: The Barrel


"The Great War and Modern Memory" by Paul Fussell is an outstanding book about the literary output that resulted from WW1, as well as the loss of so many literary and artistic talents who were killed in the war.

If you've never read Fussell he is fantastic. He's got 3 other books about WW2, one of which, "Doing Battle: The Making of A Skeptic", is about his own experiences therein. He's also the author of "Thank God for the Atom Bomb, an essay that is essential reading if you want to understand the sense of relief of hundreds of thousands of GIs who went from being doomed to die in the invasion pf Japan to actually having a future, all in a single flash of light.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (WOG6U)

419 Pug, I loved the Silmarillion. My husband took forever to read it because he was reading it like a textbook. I read it like a myth that was also a poem.

Tolkien had the most amazing voice in his exposition.

Posted by: Funsize at March 23, 2021 11:27 PM (EiPf6)

420 Janis would have put her phone down.


Disco Bush for sure.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at March 23, 2021 11:27 PM (rdbLX)

421 I did grow a snowflake moray from the size of a pencil to about two feet. Used to hand feed it. His name was Dinsdale.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:28 PM (kTF2Z)

422 One of the funniest things ever was when Clinton played golf with Ford and GHWB and got his ass kicked . This after denial of accusations that he cheated all the time resulting in his reported decent scores.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at March 23, 2021 11:28 PM (2DOZq)

423
Ford fact: he slept four hours a night and would take a nap mid day.
Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast


That's why he could make Model T's so cheap.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 11:28 PM (63Dwl)

424 What movie? I must have missed the post.

Posted by: AlaBAMA



"Tolkien". See comment 264, above.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 11:28 PM (WOG6U)

425 I got a chanter for Christmas.

It's the pipe part of the Scottish bagpipes. My wife and sons thought it was a good idea.

Never played a wind instrument, but after some practice, I realize why the Scots had a big bag to blow the air through. Really good for the lungs. Hell. It's fun.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Skwerls Clog Dancing on My Roof at March 23, 2021 11:29 PM (x8Wzq)

426 55 Yeah, I couldn't finish it. I've never read more self centered garbage in my life.

Meh.. she's just a miserable bitch.
Posted by: Jewells45 at March 23, 2021 10:14 PM (nxdel)


Mrs IMG wonders if it might be post-partum depression.

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at March 23, 2021 11:29 PM (8C7+r)

427 421 I did grow a snowflake moray from the size of a pencil to about two feet. Used to hand feed it. His name was Dinsdale.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:28 PM (kTF2Z

-----------

Bob Dole had an eel named Rufus.

Posted by: Bob Dole at March 23, 2021 11:29 PM (fLVm1)

428 In 1913 the only major powers in the world outside of Europe were the US and Japan.

Britain, France, and Russia controlled the majority of the globe.

People saw the future as endless progress.

And then WWI came and killed off a generation over basically nothing. And it allowed the socialist cancer to come to fruition.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 23, 2021 11:29 PM (qlFIA)

429 I still have a WIN button.

It will soon be time to break it out again.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 23, 2021 11:25 PM


I have a bunch of german stamps overprinted "5 milliarden"

Posted by: Chuck C at March 23, 2021 11:30 PM (awtm/)

430 Own a rent house in a HOA neighborhood and you will know the association personally.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 23, 2021 11:30 PM (qrcf4)

431 406
Yeah, Ford was not a klutz nor accident prone and was pretty athletic. That was all basically Chevy Chase and SNL that created that image.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 23, 2021 11:24 PM (Mzdiz)

Chevy Chase doing a Biden falldown?

Perfect!

Posted by: Getting the SNL Band back together again at March 23, 2021 11:31 PM (sy5kK)

432 411 I used to be into saltwater aquariums as a hobby. Still have an Oceanic 200 Bowfront in the basement if none is interested. Never did sharks though. They eat too much and grow way too fast.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:25 PM (kTF2Z)


Also they eat your limbs off. But that's not important right now.

Posted by: Splunge at March 23, 2021 11:31 PM (RzGcW)

433 I would last maybe 15 minutes in a HOA

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:32 PM (6iURM)

434
all in a single flash of light.
Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (WOG6U)

-----

A while ago, I read about a guy who got hit by *both* bombs. Got hit in Hiroshima, went home to Nagasaki, and got hit again. Lived to be very old. Unkillable, I guess.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:32 PM (Uh2oA)

435 Also they eat your limbs off. But that's not important right now.
Posted by: Splunge

I read that in Leslie Nielsen's voice.

Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 11:33 PM (Rvt88)

436 If the HOA towed my car for dents, by morning every HOA members' car would have dents as well.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger

My kin are from Tennessee. We might be related.
Posted by: Sock Monkey

Yup

Posted by: Second cousin twice removed Miklos at March 23, 2021 11:33 PM (QzkSJ)

437 MACHINES FOR SALE




Machines for sale is back!!!!!!!!!

Hallelujah!!!

One of my all time favorite commenters from Ye Olden Dayes of Yore.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 11:33 PM (WOG6U)

438 Had a 'lectric eel named Rufus
He was a good friend of mine
Never understood a single word he said
But he zapped my penis with his slime
Yeah he always had some mighty fine slime

Sadly, Rufus died, so I had to switch to Viagra instead.

Posted by: Bob Dole at March 23, 2021 11:33 PM (JZT2F)

439 433 I would last maybe 15 minutes in a HOA
Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:32 PM (6iURM)


That's 15 minutes more than I would.

Posted by: Ladyl, Insurrectionist at March 23, 2021 11:33 PM (TdMsT)

440 406
Yeah, Ford was not a klutz nor accident prone and was pretty athletic. That was all basically Chevy Chase and SNL that created that image.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 23, 2021 11:24 PM (Mzdiz)


They amplified it. The media created it, by highlighting every head bump on the edge of a helicopter or plane door (Ford was tall) or any little stumble. I saw Ford speak outdoors at a college, and when the crowd couldn't see him well, he climbed up on his limo roof.

Imagine what SNL could do with Biden if they were still doing actual comedy.

Posted by: Splunge at March 23, 2021 11:34 PM (RzGcW)

441

I've just read over at the DM that Plugs may have broken the law in halting construction on the southern border wall... The GAO is launching an investigation...

Posted by: Zettai at March 23, 2021 11:36 PM (szPRO)

442 The Cars Candy-O album was great . Dangerous Type was especially good.

Posted by: Archer at March 23, 2021 11:36 PM (ConHk)

443 A while ago, I read about a guy who got hit by *both* bombs. Got hit in Hiroshima, went home to Nagasaki, and got hit again. Lived to be very old. Unkillable, I guess.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:32 PM (Uh2oA)

--------

There was one woman who survived the sinking of the Titanic, survived the sinking of the Britannic, and was aboard the Olympic when it collided with the HMS Hawk.

Maybe she was related to Nuke Guy.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:36 PM (fLVm1)

444 I'm buying into a development that will be an HOA.
I've already expressed to the real estate agent, who is also an investor in the development, that I would like to be a member of the association.
I'm a live and let live kind of person who despises Karen's of all (57+) genders.
So there's that.

Posted by: Al Bundy at March 23, 2021 11:36 PM (Z7toj)

445 And his knees were blown from college football.
Posted by: Braenyard, starving

Happened on the Supreme Court too, but brains and for different reasons.

Posted by: Justice Byron "Whizzer" White at March 23, 2021 11:36 PM (QzkSJ)

446 I remember SNL bagging on Bill Clinton. I remember them singing sappy paeans to Hill-Dawg. What a pointless thing it became.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:36 PM (Uh2oA)

447 Not worried if Biden comes for my guns - I keep them upstairs.

Posted by: Java Joe at March 23, 2021 11:37 PM (xBhDz)

448 Bob Dole is no relation to the Dole family who founded the fruit company, but at one time the mayor of Izmir, Turkey, banned Dole fruit due to a mistaken belief that he was.

Posted by: Bob Dole Facts at March 23, 2021 11:37 PM (JZT2F)

449
There was one woman who survived the sinking of the Titanic, survived the sinking of the Britannic, and was aboard the Olympic when it collided with the HMS Hawk.

Drowned in the bath tub.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 11:37 PM (63Dwl)

450 That's 15 minutes more than I would.
Posted by: Ladyl, Insurrectionist at March 23, 2021 11:33 PM (TdMsT)

so how many Stihls do you own ?

ones without muffler guts

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:37 PM (6iURM)

451 One thing I learned about my washing machine is the short 22 minute cycle cleans as well
As the 72 minute cycle and uses a fraction of the water and electricity. Ditto for the dishwasher short vs regular cycle.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 23, 2021 11:12 PM (Zx3Bu)

Good news for AtC.

Posted by: ... at March 23, 2021 11:37 PM (uEbPt)

452 > Posted by: Justice Byron "Whizzer" White

Gotta figure that Biden is about one Lewy body away from also acquiring the nickname "Whizzer", but not due to his broken-field running.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:38 PM (JZT2F)

453 I would last maybe 15 minutes in a HOA
Posted by: REDACTED

Only the initial Tzampotli "issue".

The recalcitrant HOA Board members joined the project, so to speak.

Posted by: Miklos still maintains that thetzampotli is 3 (three) feet from the property line at March 23, 2021 11:39 PM (QzkSJ)

454 Izmir is the former Greek city-state of Smyrna.

So there's that.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:39 PM (fLVm1)

455 The Cars Candy-O album was great . Dangerous Type was especially good.
Posted by: Archer

The title song is worth the price of admission alone.
I can't remember, but is "double life" also a cut from Candy O?

Posted by: Al Bundy at March 23, 2021 11:39 PM (Z7toj)

456 Do you think - "If my car gets towed, your car burns" policy would sit well with the HOA board?

Posted by: Jean at March 23, 2021 11:40 PM (Xih1H)

457


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy-O

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 11:40 PM (63Dwl)

458

T-Z-O-M-P-A-N-T-L-I...

Posted by: Zettai at March 23, 2021 11:40 PM (szPRO)

459
I wonder if Biden's first presser will be to say "skrizzim skrazzim flabblenop, resigning to be spend more time with Hunter, then way, way more time with Beau, bekissh naxazonk President Harris will blow you all away!"

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:41 PM (Uh2oA)

460 There was a story some years ago about a construction worker whose HOA bitched about his (brand new!) pickup being parked in his driveway.

So he bought an old beater station wagon, gave it a custom primer and camouflage paint job using cans of Krylon, made some wooden machine guns to mount on the hood, and spray painted "War Wagon" on the sides.

I never heard how that one turned out.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:42 PM (JZT2F)

461 T-Z-O-M-P-A-N-T-L-I...
Posted by: Zettai

Trademark issue

*no glare, more like thousands of permanent grins*

Posted by: Miklosian Yucatacan IPR SA de CV at March 23, 2021 11:43 PM (QzkSJ)

462 It was a traveling salesman who was in Hiroshima on August 6 and Nagasaki on August 9. Unhurt both times. Forget where he was, exactly, in each city (in Nagasaki probably in town/near the port, near the actual aim point, as the bomb missed by miles). He died not that long ago.

Though my favorite has to be the Korean guy who served in the Japanese, Soviet, and German armies before being captured by us in Normandy. Kept getting captured and then re-purposed by new armies. Though I'm not sure his story is fully confirmed/documented.

Though there were lots of oddball and "Ostruppen" at Normandy, especially Utah beach, where one GI, explaining to a superior that they couldn't communicate with any of the POWs because none of them spoke much German, said "just who are we fighting here, anyway, sir?".

Posted by: rhomboid at March 23, 2021 11:43 PM (OTzUX)

463 Another Cars hidden gem....

https://youtu.be/WpTOfr5TeOQ

Posted by: Al Bundy at March 23, 2021 11:44 PM (Z7toj)

464 JQ, I'm thinking of you.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at March 23, 2021 11:44 PM (a4EWo)

465
Though my favorite has to be the Korean guy who served in the Japanese, Soviet, and German armies before being captured by us in Normandy. Kept getting captured and then re-purposed by new armies.

-------

This is basically what happened to my grandfather. Imperial Russian, British and US Armies before settling in the States after the war.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 23, 2021 11:44 PM (Uh2oA)

466 One suspects that Erin has not, in fact, been properly fucked for quite some time.
Posted by: Miklosian Opinionations LLC at March 23, 2021 10:12 PM (QzkSJ

Nah. One suspects that her husband hasn't been laid in a long time.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

Im thinking steak and bj night is ramen and a cold shower

Posted by: Jean at March 23, 2021 11:45 PM (Xih1H)

467 Paul Rothschild was the LA rock band The Doors producer. He had this idea that Jim Morrison, the lead singer, and Janis Joplin would make a great celebrity couple, and get some publicity going, and the rest of it. So he arranged an introduction.

Morrison ended up being a wanker, and Janis Joplin knocked him out cold over the head with an empty whiskey bottle.

Posted by: Common Tater at March 23, 2021 11:45 PM (T3zWB)

468 Bob Dole is no relation to the Dole family who
founded the fruit company, but at one time the mayor of Izmir, Turkey,
banned Dole fruit due to a mistaken belief that he was.





Posted by: Bob Dole Facts at March 23, 2021 11:37 PM (JZT2F)

Luckily Dole did not retaliate. That would have not gone over very well during the holidays.

Posted by: Quint at March 23, 2021 11:46 PM (OgcCr)

469 Morrison ended up being a wanker, and Janis Joplin knocked him out cold over the head with an empty whiskey bottle.
Posted by: Common Tater

I've had that with chicks less famous than Janis Joplin.

At least shaved their pits, though.

Posted by: Miklos, Hard Headed man needs a Hard Headed Woman at March 23, 2021 11:47 PM (QzkSJ)

470 He's still my husband and I will take care of him. We've had almost 20 years of good times.
Posted by: JQ

To care for a sick spouse grinds you down like nothing else. Hang in there!
Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 11:26 PM (Rvt8


It is a rough road to travel and you come out with scars!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 23, 2021 11:47 PM (87oRe)

471 My tiny neighborhood of 33 homes has an HOA which is by design, both effective and weak.

Not a slew of petty regulations, just some solid guidelines about keeping homes in the original pallete of colors (more than you might think), no tall fences defining the front yard, basic yardcare, no junkers in the driveways, etc. HOA President is an RN, tough as nails, and works hand in fist with a shark of an attorney so as to keep the dues up to date. I'm pretty much the Lead on the building committee, and our decisions are flexible as to big backyard decks, outdoors kitchens, garden sheds and the like. One thing though. These are Craftsman Style homes, and any exterior improvements WILL remain in that style. Only set of plans I've vetoed in 12 years involved glass panels vs. porch handrails, stainless cables vs. upright fluted wood spindles and well, you get the idea. Zits on a Mona Lisa. Otherwise? We've never written a citation for grass too high, or litter or etc. Ever.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at March 23, 2021 11:47 PM (QzJWU)

472 466 One suspects that Erin has not, in fact, been properly fucked for quite some time.
Posted by: Miklosian Opinionations LLC at March 23, 2021 10:12 PM (QzkSJ

she's all yours

Posted by: REDACTED at March 23, 2021 11:48 PM (6iURM)

473
Morrison ended up being a wanker, and Janis Joplin knocked him out cold over the head with an empty whiskey bottle.
Posted by: Common Tater


At least she finished the bottle first.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 23, 2021 11:48 PM (63Dwl)

474 471 My tiny neighborhood of 33 homes has an HOA which is by design, both effective and weak.

---------

Much like the Holy Roman Empire then.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:48 PM (fLVm1)

475 A while ago, I read about a guy who got hit by *both* bombs. Got hit in Hiroshima, went home to Nagasaki, and got hit again. Lived to be very old. Unkillable, I guess.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice



I've heard that story. Unlucky and lucky in equal measure.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 11:48 PM (WOG6U)

476 Erin's bio: Her BSc. and RRT designations led to a fulfilling NICU career prior to becoming a mother.

Gee, Erin, my mother dropped out of high school, got married, had me, then got her GED, LPN, RN, neo-natal, ER nurse at an inner-city Chicago hospital, ICU at same; and that was with my father who didn't do all the chores your husband does. You really have it tough.

Posted by: Chuck C at March 23, 2021 11:48 PM (awtm/)

477 The landscape up top looks a lot like the backgroundscape for Blue Oyster Cult's album "Curse of the Hidden Mirror".

Posted by: SFGoth at March 23, 2021 11:49 PM (KAi1n)

478 I enjoy having a life free of HOA harrassment. So we never buy houses with HOAs. I understand the risk so always go for established neighborhoods free of HOAs.

Now we do get the occasional neighbor with the plastic pink flamingos in their front yard, or a house with a front yard that looks like they are having a permanent garage sale. I look at the pink flamingos as a type of Floridiana. The Rio Linda types though usually get bought out and their front yard antiques make for a great fire sale. These houses usually get torn down especially when they are within walking distance of a golf course.

Posted by: Floridachick at March 23, 2021 11:49 PM (HV0dA)

479 One suspects that Erin has not, in fact, been properly fucked for quite some time.
Posted by: Miklosian Opinionations LLC at March 23, 2021 10:12 PM (QzkSJ

she's all yours
Posted by: REDACTED

Darleen, Marleen and Charleen would teach that girl a lesson she wouldn't have the brain capacity to forget.

Darleen gets mean when she finishes probation

Posted by: Miklos, parking lot kinda light even for a Tuesday at March 23, 2021 11:52 PM (QzkSJ)

480 Not to mention our lovely first lady, Melania. She did it hundreds of times in heels!
Posted by: Tonypete at March 23, 2021 10:45 PM (Rvt8

Not just heels. She seems to have a thing for stilettos.

Posted by: Fox2! at March 23, 2021 11:52 PM (qyH+l)

481 Oddly, I think my favorite photo of all time, other than those of my Kids, is this one from the book Kon Tiki:

https://pin.it/2l1DNFS

The 6 Crazy Scandi Ice Backs who sailed across the Pacific on a balsa log raft caught a mess of my brother sharks with their freaking HANDS and then realized it was a bit dangerous to stack them on deck.

Such a great adventure by 6 guys who should never be forgotten just based on the size of their cojones.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 23, 2021 11:53 PM (WOG6U)

482 There was one woman who survived the sinking of the Titanic, survived the sinking of the Britannic, and was aboard the Olympic when it collided with the HMS Hawk.

Maybe she was related to Nuke Guy.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:36 PM (fLVm1)

---------

Her nickname was Lucky.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:53 PM (kTF2Z)

483 Not just heels. She seems to have a thing for stilettos.
Posted by: Fox2!

Apparently so does PDJT

Shoulda seen them coming

Posted by: Miklos, whom they are out to get at March 23, 2021 11:54 PM (QzkSJ)

484 Shoulda seen them coming

Posted by: Miklos, whom they are out to get at March 23, 2021 11:54 PM



I think he did!

Posted by: Zettai at March 23, 2021 11:56 PM (szPRO)

485 Begging for some suggestions from the lawyer morons & moronettes [ ]
Posted by: The inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork

My legal advice: don't do it. Learn a trade or become a dope dealer.

Assuming you are still Hell Bent, Hell Bent for Leather (da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da) (repeat), I can share with you my 25 year old bar exam secrets.

1. If WA uses the multi-state and it's like the multi-state I took, back then the exam questions were very much like the practice questions but with changes to the names of the people involved or other minor details. It's not like they can keep on endlessly make up entirely new questions and it's the bar exam, not a specialized exam to prove you're a sooperlawyer. Recognize the Qs and you'll be able to spot the answer much quicker. (1/2?)

Posted by: SFGoth at March 23, 2021 11:56 PM (KAi1n)

486 Her nickname was Lucky.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:53 PM (kTF2Z)

-----------

White Star Lines apologized by upgrading her to Bronze Level without making her take two more cruises.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:57 PM (fLVm1)

487 Good night, all.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 23, 2021 11:57 PM (JZT2F)

488

We ought to be able to get another dozen or so quality comments in by 0400Z to meet ACEPLAN quota...

Posted by: Zettai at March 23, 2021 11:57 PM (szPRO)

489 one reason we have a house these days is that the HOA nazis in charge of the condos where Herself had lived in peace and quiet for many years as the suspected lipstick lesbian suddenly decided she was "unclean" when i showed up. the one little POS threw away our humming bird feeders.

that was early '01. midway through '03 we were gone.

as we left, i gifted 8-10 neighbors with feeders and a starter stock of sugar for nectar.



Posted by: redc1c4 (*OTUS Zhou Bai-Din Cheated) at March 23, 2021 11:58 PM (5Vl6w)

490 Damn. I missed a lawyer question.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:58 PM (fLVm1)

491 I can share with you my 25 year old bar exam secrets.


I'm in!

I want me a $1400 Law Degree!

Soon as I gets the moneys

Posted by: Jethro Miklos-Bodine at March 23, 2021 11:59 PM (QzkSJ)

492 Is Miley here? If so, tell her my folks are dead, thank you very much.

Posted by: Broseidon at March 23, 2021 11:59 PM (icI8A)

493 Wilmer McLean had a House in Manassas in 1861 at the first battle of Bull Run. He decided to move his family as far away from the war as he could so he moved them to a house in Appomattox, the house Grant and Lee me for the surrender. The war started and ended in his backyard.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 23, 2021 11:59 PM (kTF2Z)

494 White Star Lines apologized by upgrading her to Bronze Level without making her take two more cruises.
Posted by: Cicero

They did promise to put her on the Boat Deck.

Posted by: Legal Liability Mitigations by Miklos at March 24, 2021 12:00 AM (QzkSJ)

495 (2/2?)

For the essay portion, assuming it's not mind-blowingly specific and difficult like VA, don't "do" the practice essays. Read them, ponder them, make some notes, and then read the model answer. If you understand the model answer, move on. If you don't then work on that question. But spending time writing essay answers just to practice answering essays (which you should've learned by high school) is a waste of time, particularly if you're right.

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 12:01 AM (KAi1n)

496 Cartoon I saw years ago and haven't been able to find again had an old man being arrested and the following caption:

Woman: I can't believe Mr Hickengruber was a Nazi, he was president of the HOA!

FBI guy: Yes, ma'am, that's how we usually find them.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - moronhorde.com. Serving all Americans, even the Neanderthals. at March 24, 2021 12:01 AM (SchxB)

497

No extra 100mL of wodka tonight...

Posted by: Zettai at March 24, 2021 12:01 AM (szPRO)

498 Is Miley here? If so, tell her my folks are dead, thank you very much.
Posted by: Broseidon at March 23, 2021 11:59 PM (icI8A)

Recently? My condolences, my man.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 24, 2021 12:01 AM (yc8M+)

499 We ought to be able to get another dozen or so quality comments in by 0400Z to meet ACEPLAN quota...
Posted by: Zettai

*Issues ration of Valu-Stakhanovodka*

Posted by: Miklos, ACEPLAN QA Associate at March 24, 2021 12:02 AM (QzkSJ)

500 477 The landscape up top looks a lot like the backgroundscape for Blue Oyster Cult's album "Curse of the Hidden Mirror".

Posted by: SFGoth at March 23, 2021 11:49 PM (KAi1n)

I knew that looked familiar.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 24, 2021 12:02 AM (ufFY8)

501 Though my favorite has to be the Korean guy who served in the Japanese, Soviet, and German armies before being captured by us in Normandy. Kept getting captured and then re-purposed by new armies. Though I'm not sure his story is fully confirmed/documented.

Posted by: rhomboid



That story was made into a fairly decent Korean language flick called "My Way":

"In World War II-era Korea, rival runners, one Korean (Jang Dong-gun) and one Japanese (Joe Odagiri), go to war together against the Soviets."

Posted by: Sharkman at March 24, 2021 12:02 AM (WOG6U)

502 *Drinks more Woodford Reserve*

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 24, 2021 12:03 AM (yc8M+)

503 Though my favorite has to be the Korean guy who served in the Japanese, Soviet, and German armies before being captured by us in Normandy. Kept getting captured and then re-purposed by new armies. Though I'm not sure his story is fully confirmed/documented.

Though there were lots of oddball and "Ostruppen" at Normandy, especially Utah beach, where one GI, explaining to a superior that they couldn't communicate with any of the POWs because none of them spoke much German, said "just who are we fighting here, anyway, sir?".

Posted by: rhomboid

There is a Korean (I think) movie about this on either Netflix or Prime. The movie has it as two marathon runners, one Korean and one Japanese. Only one survives to be captured. I couldn't find on those platforms but it was a quick search.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 24, 2021 12:03 AM (ZN7T5)

504 481Oddly, I think my favorite photo of all time, other than those of my Kids, is this one from the book Kon Tiki


One of my favorite books.

Posted by: Floridachick at March 24, 2021 12:04 AM (HV0dA)

505 *Drinks more Woodford Reserve*
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

*wrecker and, specifically, Hoarder glare*

Posted by: Miklos, shoveling coal on Strelnikov's Train over here, Boss at March 24, 2021 12:05 AM (QzkSJ)

506 That tenement dump in Cincinnatti with the car snobbery? I'd be tempted to haul in some real festering wrecks with a rollback, and Gorilla Glue them to the pavement.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 24, 2021 12:06 AM (mzC78)

507 I lived in 2 HOAs and was never hassled by a Karen. The only issue i had was I once left my garbage bin out over the weekend - garbage day was Thursday and I went out of town for a long weekend - and got a letter saying please dont do that.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 24, 2021 12:06 AM (Zx3Bu)

508 If you've seen a 2001 Honda Insight, regardless of it's condition, you'd want it towed off your property stat.
Posted by: Martini Farmer - Now a Pirate, Hoisting the Black Flag at March 23, 2021 10:05 PM (3H9h1)

They are pretty fugly, for sure. Kinda surprised a hybrid car that old is still running, to be honest.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 24, 2021 12:08 AM (mzC78)

509 505 *Drinks more Woodford Reserve*
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

*wrecker and, specifically, Hoarder glare*
Posted by: Miklos, shoveling coal on Strelnikov's Train over here, Boss at March 24, 2021 12:05 AM (QzkSJ)

I can share.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 24, 2021 12:09 AM (yc8M+)

510 JRR and Edith Tolkien share a headstone upon which the name "Luthien" is inscribed under Edith's name, and "Beren" under JRR's.

Married 55 years and still mad about each other on the day she died, two years before him.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 24, 2021 12:09 AM (WOG6U)

511 I had the weirdest feeling that I wasn't going to make it through surgery today. So I spent the last two weeks writing letters to all the people I care about (Wife, children, parents, friends, etc.). I wrote each of them a handwritten letter telling them how much they meant to me. I didn't want to leave without saying that. I carried the letters with me today, to be delivered if necessary. It was strangely cathartic. As it turns out, I'm fine. I put the letters in my safe.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 24, 2021 12:10 AM (kTF2Z)

512 I can share.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

*places favorite Erlenmeyer flask in usual place*

Posted by: Miklos, thank 'ee, guvna at March 24, 2021 12:10 AM (QzkSJ)

513 Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 24, 2021 12:10 AM (kTF2Z)

Glad you're ok. Maybe you should mail the letters?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 24, 2021 12:11 AM (yc8M+)

514 One of my favorite books.

Posted by: Floridachick



Just bought Kon Tiki along with Jonathan Livingston Seagull and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for my 13 y/o daughter.

Cant wait to talk to her about each of those books once she's read them.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 24, 2021 12:11 AM (WOG6U)

515 I can share.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

*places favorite Erlenmeyer flask in usual place*
Posted by: Miklos, thank 'ee, guvna at March 24, 2021 12:10 AM (QzkSJ)

A man of science!

*Pours the bourbon*

Night Horde.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 24, 2021 12:12 AM (yc8M+)

516 Glad you're good Duke.

Posted by: ... at March 24, 2021 12:12 AM (uEbPt)

517
I'm so sad. It's the end of an era around here. Bi-Lo, a grocery store chain that has been a fixture since my youth is soon to be no more. The brand name is disappearing. I spent my last dime at the last Bi-Lo store in Simpsonville today. It will close 4/11 and that will be the last one.

It too, will become a Food Lion.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:12 AM (Mzdiz)

518 An HOA would drive me to drugs. I don't care if I followed every possible rule with absolute ease and never got bothered. I just don't want to live with some totalitarian Mao wannabe bitch watching me day and night with a sharpie at the ready. Nothing worse than a fucking busybody.

Posted by: ... at March 24, 2021 12:15 AM (uEbPt)

519 I see the Democrats are loudly shrieking that Republicans are responsible for the mass shooting in Boulder, Co., presumably because of their support for the 2nd Amendment.

The shooter, Ahmad Ahlaki Al Issi, a Syrian immigrant and ISIS supporter, says he shot everything up because of rampant racism and Islamophobia. Sounds very much like Ahmad was inspired by MSNBC, doesn't it?

Posted by: Sam Adams at March 24, 2021 12:16 AM (DbadI)

520 Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Alas! For the 70s
Her readers grow fewer
She was much given to crap literature

Posted by: J. Gordon Miklos-Coogler at March 24, 2021 12:16 AM (QzkSJ)

521 Starting tomorrow, S.F. moves into the "orange" tier. This means: "Restaurants, outdoor and indoor, and outdoor bars may provide limited live entertainment. Entertainment may include singing and playing wind and brass instruments following applicable health rules including face coverings"

*Maybe* someone can play a brass instrument through a mask, but something with a reed like a clarinet? WT...?

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 12:16 AM (KAi1n)

522 publius, I'm from SC. It'll be very strange not to see Bi-Lo when I go back to visit. Are there any Winn-Dixies left?

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 24, 2021 12:17 AM (kTRt4)

523 BiLo is gone but Sell-Hi surely must be in business.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at March 24, 2021 12:19 AM (Zx3Bu)

524 Janis Joplin sounded like two cats fucking right after someone set them on fire.

In other words, like Bob Dylan.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 24, 2021 12:19 AM (WOG6U)

525 I'm so sad. It's the end of an era around here. Bi-Lo, a grocery store chain that has been a fixture since my youth is soon to be no more. The brand name is disappearing. I spent my last dime at the last Bi-Lo store in Simpsonville today. It will close 4/11 and that will be the last one.

----------

Watch. The Sack O' Suds will be next.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 24, 2021 12:19 AM (fLVm1)

526 *Maybe* someone can play a brass instrument through a mask, but something with a reed like a clarinet? WT...?
Posted by: SFGoth
---
Just put 'em in pods like Spinal Tap.

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 24, 2021 12:20 AM (kTRt4)

527 In other words, like Bob Dylan.
Posted by: Sharkman at March 24, 2021 12:19 AM (WOG6U)

--------

If it sounded like Dylan the two cats would be holding their noses.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 24, 2021 12:20 AM (fLVm1)

528 Dickbutt lives.

Posted by: Geoff Shotts at March 24, 2021 12:21 AM (5UVB+)

529 Are there any Winn-Dixies left?
Posted by: screaming in digital

Most Bi-Los are now KJ's Market (IGA)

There are a few Winn-Dixies, even some Piggly-Wigglies!

FUN FACT-Piggly-Wiggly was the first "modern" grocery store, where customers selected from open shelves rather than have a clerk bring things to a counter.

Posted by: Miklos, authenticated Agricultural Economist at March 24, 2021 12:21 AM (QzkSJ)

530 Ok, woodwinds players and singers can remove their masks while performing. Also, it's now lawful to have outdoor gatherings of up to 25 people from 3 households. Etc. We live in a silly society. If it weren't silly, the homeless would've had the same fate as Cuomo's old folks. Yet there's record numbers of them. How does SCILENCE! do that?

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 12:22 AM (KAi1n)

531 If it sounded like Dylan the two cats would be holding their noses.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43)


And scratching their way up a chalkboard, while fucking and on fire.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 24, 2021 12:22 AM (WOG6U)

532 You should see the list of things you are and aren't allowed to do in my state. It's hilarious. Basically we've moved to the Everything Except Fun and a Few Other Random Things tier.

Anything on the list that sounds like fun you're still not allowed to do.

Posted by: ... at March 24, 2021 12:22 AM (uEbPt)

533

I'm quite sure I'd recognise very little in the village of my youth today... I don't plan on going back to visit, even if I were to be allowed....

Posted by: Zettai at March 24, 2021 12:22 AM (szPRO)

534 Entertainment may include singing and playing wind and brass instruments

*takes guitar to the Crossroads*

Posted by: Miklos Johnson at March 24, 2021 12:22 AM (QzkSJ)

535 I see the Democrats are loudly shrieking that Republicans are responsible for the mass shooting in Boulder, Co., presumably because of their support for the 2nd Amendment.

The shooter, Ahmad Ahlaki Al Issi, a Syrian immigrant and ISIS supporter, says he shot everything up because of rampant racism and Islamophobia. Sounds very much like Ahmad was inspired by MSNBC, doesn't it?

Posted by: Sam Adams at March 24, 2021 12:16 AM (DbadI)

Republicans seize, pounce and politicize. Film at 11.

Posted by: ... at March 24, 2021 12:23 AM (uEbPt)

536 There are Winn-Dixies in NE Florida. Just saw a few on my trip to St. Augustine that ended today.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 24, 2021 12:23 AM (WOG6U)

537 Don't even get me started on that covid horseshit.

Fk!

What a stupid time to be alive, indeed.

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 12:24 AM (09wCi)

538 >> Are there any Winn-Dixies left?

None around here. That was a fixture of my childhood as well. My paternal grandmother was a Winn-Dixie gal, and I remember going with her as she bought groceries as a little boy.

Looking them up, the Winn-Dixie chain is still going, but there are none around here. Bi-Lo in it's heyday, bought out the Winn-Dixie chain, turns out.

My grandmother referred to them as "the Dixie store". The Winn-something conglomeration bought out the Dixie Home chain of 100+ stores, which were around here, and Winn-Dixie was born.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:24 AM (Mzdiz)

539 Evening.

Are we still trying to fix Broseidon's women problems or has the Horde finally given up?

Posted by: Robert at March 24, 2021 12:25 AM (EgQms)

540 The shooter, Ahmad Ahlaki Al Issi, a Syrian immigrant and ISIS supporter, says he shot everything up because of rampant racism and Islamophobia.
Posted by: Sam Adams


And what better way to calm the racism and "Islamophobia" than to prove everyone right and become yet another mass-murdering Islamist.

Posted by: mikeski at March 24, 2021 12:27 AM (P1f+c)

541 It too, will become a Food Lion.
Posted by: publius

I stopped shopping at Bi-Lo a few years ago, for this reason.

I wanted to pay money for a bottle of wine, idiot insists on seeing my ID. Idiot, as the Fountain of Youth is, sadly, not the Saluda River.

BUT ALSO-idiot insisted that she had to scan my driver's license to complete such purchase. WTF? No. Adios.

I probably caused their bankruptcy.

Posted by: Miklos is increasingly paranoid for damn good reason at March 24, 2021 12:28 AM (QzkSJ)

542 There are a few Winn-Dixies, even some Piggly-Wigglies!

FUN FACT-Piggly-Wiggly was the first "modern" grocery store, where customers selected from open shelves rather than have a clerk bring things to a counter.
Posted by: Miklos
---
Ah yes, the Piggly Wiggly. I may have been to a few of those as well.

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 24, 2021 12:29 AM (kTRt4)

543 Hannafords is a nice grocery store...

Posted by: Zettai at March 24, 2021 12:29 AM (szPRO)

544
The Bi-Lo stores here in the Simpsonville-Ft. Inn - Mauldin area (known collectively as the Golden Strip -- they did have a Miss Golden Strip pageant, BTW) have become Food Lion stores.

This last one (the Big Bi-Lo I called it) was sort of in the air about what they were going to do with it, but Food Lion went ahead and bought it as well.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:30 AM (Mzdiz)

545 Winn-Dixie called themselves "the Beef People".

Reason being, that a lot of their beef was from Florida, and fed on orange pulp. Supposed to be better beef.

Posted by: Miklos, not ribbing at March 24, 2021 12:31 AM (QzkSJ)

546
Twilight Zone with Elizabeth Montgomery and Charles Bronson is playing on MeTV starting now, I see.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:32 AM (Mzdiz)

547 Beef with Orange Flavour? (That's an actual dish at my local Oriental take-away joint!)

Posted by: Zettai at March 24, 2021 12:33 AM (szPRO)

548 >> Winn-Dixie called themselves "the Beef People".

They used to run ads in childhood, maybe on up into the 80s with Jim Davis (Jock Ewing) as a cowboy talking about their beef.

https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=ZGJsaI0_-1U

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:35 AM (Mzdiz)

549 Glad you made it, duke!

Posted by: Funsize at March 24, 2021 12:35 AM (EiPf6)

550 In 1979, Blue Oyster Cult OG drummer/founder Albert Bouchard spoofed The Cars' "Just What I Needed" in a demo called "You're not the One (I was Looking for)". The band, to his chagrin, voted to put it on their '79 album "Mirrors". It's actually a fun song.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTZ6fWKLgtM

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 12:36 AM (KAi1n)

551 Nice thing about Food Lion-

They are/were a NC company, and the long-time CEO was in their ads.

A friend who was a cashier at a local Food Lion sent that CEO a High School graduation invitation (we know what that means).

Dammit if Tom Smith didn't send her a $20 check (that was money in 1979)

Also, Food Lion (long since Belgian-owned) has never hassled me about the damn masks.

Posted by: Miklos, now this is how you buy customer loyalty early on at March 24, 2021 12:36 AM (QzkSJ)

552
Here's a 1976 Winn-Dixie commercial. This brings back memories of my childhood. I remember this style of commercial and watching it took me back to my grandmother's house...

https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=PwapT5tzMIo

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:38 AM (Mzdiz)

553 Maybe* someone can play a brass instrument through a mask, but something with a reed like a clarinet? WT...?
Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 12:16 AM (KAi1n)

A brass instrument could be played while wearing a mask, just not very effectively. The placement of the lips (Embouchure) on the mouthpiece is very important and that can't be done while wearing a mask.

Posted by: Opus at March 24, 2021 12:38 AM (04sk3)

554 Montgomery is still unconscious...

Posted by: Zettai at March 24, 2021 12:38 AM (szPRO)

555 thanks, publius. I think my grandma used to say Dixie store, too.

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 24, 2021 12:40 AM (kTRt4)

556 SFGoth, thanks for sharing that. Great impression of the Cars by BOC!

I still wanna get the box set of all BOC's albums...

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 12:43 AM (L2ZTs)

557 watching it took me back to my grandmother's house...

I remember going to some grocery store where they had big (to me) green coffee grinders after the cashiers. Buy the coffee beans and grind them fresh before you leave the store. Long before I had my first sip of coffee, I liked that smell.

Posted by: Miklos, currently uncaffeinated at March 24, 2021 12:43 AM (QzkSJ)

558 I'm no fan of HOAs either until it's the only thing keeping your neighbor from painting his house to look like a circus tent.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:16 PM (fLVm1)

You say that as though it were a bad thing.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 24, 2021 12:44 AM (mzC78)

559 What about Zayre dept stores? They still around?

I spent maybe a year in FL, back in '82. (First time I ever saw women in public what still had their hair-rollers in!)

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 12:44 AM (09wCi)

560 Montgomery is still unconscious...
Posted by: Zettai

For some time now. Not even a nose-twitch.

Posted by: Endora at March 24, 2021 12:45 AM (QzkSJ)

561
I was telling Miley -- somehow, from my youth, I had sort of a distaste for the Food Lion name. I had this image of a more downmarket thing that was more of a glorified convenience store that a real grocery store. I have that memory of one from way back.

However, the modern Food Lions are pretty good. My mother would go to them, and one of her best friends preferred them, but I still had that image.

And now, I see they're fine. And I discovered their whole milk is the best tasting of any of the local stores. That will likely change, of course, as whatever diaries they get what from will shuffle around.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:46 AM (Mzdiz)

562 BUT ALSO-idiot insisted that she had to scan my driver's license to complete such purchase. WTF? No. Adios.

I probably caused their bankruptcy.
Posted by: Miklos is increasingly paranoid for damn good reason at March 24, 2021 12:28 AM (QzkSJ)

Lol, yeah, she was trying to steal your identity.

Posted by: Robert at March 24, 2021 12:46 AM (C0WK3)

563 You guys talkin' defunct stores?

After 40 years I *still* miss The Treasury. Also I have memories of Fedco, Fed-Mart and Gemco.

Also check out the story of why W.T. Grant's stores went bankrupt in 1976. It's hilarious for the ineptitude. (Long story short: they gave EVERYONE credit regardless of background, then were surprised when no one paid them back.)

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 12:47 AM (L2ZTs)

564

Now they's gots gubs!

But first, a message from the sponsor...

Posted by: Zettai at March 24, 2021 12:47 AM (szPRO)

565 I'm no fan of HOAs either until it's the only thing keeping your neighbor from painting his house to look like a circus tent.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 23, 2021 11:16 PM (fLVm1)

You say that as though it were a bad thing.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

I see nothing in this agreement regarding elephants or seals. The bearded woman goes without saying, h8rs

Posted by: Miklos, Howdy Neighbor! at March 24, 2021 12:47 AM (QzkSJ)

566 I also read recently about Canada's Zellers stores. Supposedly they were the most depressing place ever. (Sounds like Kmart here in the US.)

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 12:48 AM (L2ZTs)

567 (Long story short: they gave EVERYONE credit regardless of background, then were surprised when no one paid them back.)
Posted by: qdpsteve

*uncomfortably loosens tie*

Posted by: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac at March 24, 2021 12:49 AM (QzkSJ)

568

Hell, the Bi-Lo store around here wanted ID for fucking NyQuil over the last couple of years. CVS and Publix as well.

It's "Robo tripping". Dextromethorphan becomes sort of hallucinogen at 10-20x normal dose. It's for the children, of course.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:49 AM (Mzdiz)

569 Publix-if you check the ads, you can't afford it

Posted by: Miklosian Microeconomics at March 24, 2021 12:52 AM (QzkSJ)

570 You can't buy certain cold medicines without having to swipe your ID at the terminal cuz the Feds say you must. War on drugs bullshit.

Fuck the state.

Posted by: Robert at March 24, 2021 12:53 AM (C0WK3)

571 Lol, yeah, she was trying to steal your identity.
Posted by: Robert

AND VITAL BODILY FLUIDS

Posted by: Miklos, denying her my Essence (which I think is an "Ethnic" thing anyway at March 24, 2021 12:54 AM (QzkSJ)

572 Miklos, sounds like Gelson's.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 12:55 AM (L2ZTs)

573 publius, aren't you known as the Walter White of NyQuil? ;-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 12:56 AM (L2ZTs)

574 AND VITAL BODILY FLUIDS
Posted by: Miklos, denying her my Essence (which I think is an "Ethnic" thing anyway at March 24, 2021 12:54 AM (QzkSJ)

Well she can have them if she knows the proper method for, um...extracting them.

Posted by: Robert at March 24, 2021 12:56 AM (C0WK3)

575 Sudafed? ID Please!

5-hour energy? Oh, lookie! Get the six pack!

Pfft.

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 12:57 AM (09wCi)

576 Worked a summer at Winn-Dixie, after my freshman year in college. My aunt and grandmother lived in Myrtle Beach, stayed with them that summer. It was more years ago than I care to admit but will say Myrtle Beach today is unrecognizable to me. I grew up in Michigan and got called Yankee all summer. Knew it was time to go home when I told my aunt I could leave once I fetched my pocketbook....

Posted by: Liio100 at March 24, 2021 12:57 AM (uFOGo)

577
You'd have to drink a whole bottle of NyQuil and maybe another half to get that Robo-trip effect pretty much. And I don't know what the 10 -20x normal dose of the doxylamine antihistamine would do to you.

If you did that with the kind that has the acetaminophen in it, you'd probably hit the LD50 for liver damage.

So it makes no sense.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:58 AM (Mzdiz)

578 publius, it'll be interesting 20 years from now to read about all the people with some sort of cancer thanks to OTC mary jane and related products, too.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 01:00 AM (L2ZTs)

579 publius, it'll be interesting 20 years from now to read about all the people with some sort of cancer thanks to OTC mary jane and related products, too.
Posted by: qdpsteve

As I recall, Bob Marley died of cancer of...basically everything.

Posted by: Miklos, recalling at March 24, 2021 01:02 AM (QzkSJ)

580 Miklos, yup.

In fairness, I've read Marley ignored his doctor's warnings for years, just like Andrew Breitbart did. Still...

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 01:04 AM (L2ZTs)

581 Earnie Preiate, former AG Pennsylvania:

CCP, buying a million barrels of oil a day, giving Iran, Venezuela cash and arms. Using crypto currency to avoid sanction/scrutiny. China on the march to control the Eurasian land mass with vassal state NoKo then Turkey, Russia (China Russia playing footsie?)

Sergey Lavrov said China and Russia going to get together and find a new currency.

https://is.gd/bwBXe2 @ 27:45

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:05 AM (qrcf4)

582 Pot? Cancer?

But, but.. Paraquat!!!

Heh.

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 01:05 AM (09wCi)

583 Are we still trying to fix Broseidon's women problems or has the Horde finally given up?

Posted by: Robert at March 24, 2021 12:25 AM (EgQms)

No, I think we've done enough work on his behalf. He's on his own now. Speaking of which, sorry for the loss of your parents, Bro.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess - #SuperStraight at March 24, 2021 01:06 AM (Mzdiz)

584 JQ, yup.

The Powers That Be (TM) are all-in on marketing MJ to everyone they can. They believe it'll pacify the people into such submission they'll be able to get away with actual literal public murder within 10-20 years, IMHO.

Something tells me it's not gonna work out like they planned.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 01:07 AM (L2ZTs)

585 Sudafed? ID Please!

5-hour energy? Oh, lookie! Get the six pack!

Pfft.
Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 12:57 AM (09wCi)

I keep a six pack of Stacker 2 in reserve should I ever need it. Same shit as Five Hour Energy, fraction of the price.

Posted by: Robert at March 24, 2021 01:07 AM (C0WK3)

586 A regular dose of cough medicine fucks me up bigly. I had such a weird awful experience on the shit last time I had it.

Posted by: ... at March 24, 2021 01:07 AM (uEbPt)

587
I'm remembering the grocery stores of my childhood, the Winn-Dixie and yes, a Piggly-Wiggly in Ft. Inn that mother preferred in the '70s.

You didn't take the shopping carts outside of the store -- they stayed inside. The bag boys would load your stuff in big paper bags, and load those on these hand-truck type carts and carry them out to your car. Those were the "take the stuff outside" carts.

I can't remember when they stopped that, and it became self-serve with the inside carts.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 01:08 AM (Mzdiz)

588 A week from now my beloved ginger will be rehabbing from rotator cuff surgery. She's a bit (hah!) apprehensive even after multiple affirmations that it is not earth shaking surgery. It IS, from what I see, big time PITA for obvious reasons. So we deal together, as was the case with the hip replacement she had--that was a hell of a lot more problematic than this will be.

So perhaps if you wish a few prayers for her would be in order..

Posted by: irongrampa at March 24, 2021 01:11 AM (KATBx)

589 Here's a 1976 Winn-Dixie commercial. This brings
back memories of my childhood. I remember this style of commercial and
watching it took me back to my grandmother's house...




Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 12:38 AM (Mzdiz)
My baby was raised on 49 cent chicken

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess - #SuperStraight at March 24, 2021 01:11 AM (Mzdiz)

590 ...pacify the people into such submission...

Yeah, qdp, I agree they'd like to "soma" the public. But why hasn't fedlaw been changed? Maybe there's kink to the mindfk, or giving the stasi reason to do their thing?

I dunno. Embracing the power of AND.

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 01:12 AM (09wCi)

591 I can't remember when they stopped that, and it became self-serve with the inside carts.
Posted by: publius

I keep all my stuff in an old Piggly Wiggly shopping cart.

Try to tell the kids, they won't belive you.

Posted by: Miklos, homeless, shouting randomly and needing a shave and haircut at March 24, 2021 01:13 AM (QzkSJ)

592 Robert: What's there to fix? Things are going well. The doom and gloomers are just certain that something MUST be wrong.

Posted by: Broseidon at March 24, 2021 01:13 AM (icI8A)

593 As I recall, Bob Marley died of cancer of...basically everything.

Posted by: Miklos, recalling at March 24, 2021 01:02 AM (QzkSJ)

It started in his toe, I heard.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess - #SuperStraight at March 24, 2021 01:13 AM (Mzdiz)

594 So perhaps if you wish a few prayers for her would be in order..
Posted by: irongrampa at March 24, 2021 01:11 AM (KATBx)
-------------

Prayers. And encourage/assist in double rehab. She can't do too much rehab. And it will hurt.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:13 AM (qrcf4)

595 Speaking of which, sorry for the loss of your parents, Bro.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess - #SuperStraight at March 24, 2021 01:06 AM (Mzdiz)

Thank you, but my parents are alive and well.

Posted by: Robert, a touch confused but is just gonna roll with it at March 24, 2021 01:13 AM (C0WK3)

596 Yudhishthira's Dice, your inbred towing story makes me remember when my friend's car was nicked by a predatory tow at another friend's apartment when we were in college. They hooked it up when she stopped to run something inside (flashers on) to a classmate, would not tell her where they were taking it, and off they went.
We had to look up who had the contract and get her out (from Hysattsville, MD outside NE D.C.) to the tow yard in the shadow of the Jessup prison, one of many tow yards there, none of them marked, in the middle of the night.
We thought we saw her grandma's old car in one yard, as the pit mixes hurled themselves against the fence snarling, and when the fellow (straight out of Deliverance) came to the fence he would not answer whether it was hers or not, but kept repeating mindlessly "FIFF-tee DOLL-ers ur you CAIN'T SEE THE CARRRR!" until we held up money. (Out of his reach)

Posted by: barbarausa at March 24, 2021 01:13 AM (W7IZQ)

597 My baby was raised on 49 cent chicken
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess - #SuperStraight at March 24, 2021 01:11 AM (Mzdiz)

If you'd have really loved your kid, you would have bought the fifty-cent stuff.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 24, 2021 01:14 AM (mzC78)

598 Yeah, qdp, I agree they'd like to "soma" the public. But why hasn't fedlaw been changed? Maybe there's kink to the mindfk, or giving the stasi reason to do their thing?

I dunno. Embracing the power of AND.
Posted by: JQ

Ayn Rand

They must create criminals

Posted by: Miklos, law-abiding criminal according to laws and regulation I ain at March 24, 2021 01:14 AM (QzkSJ)

599 I keep all my stuff in an old Piggly Wiggly shopping cart.



Try to tell the kids, they won't belive you.

Posted by: Miklos, homeless, shouting randomly and needing a shave and haircut at March 24, 2021 01:13 AM (QzkSJ)
The cat needs his own cart.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess - #SuperStraight at March 24, 2021 01:15 AM (Mzdiz)

600 If you'd have really loved your kid, you would have bought the fifty-cent stuff.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Loving mothers do their own plucking

Posted by: Miklos, one Mother of a Plucker at March 24, 2021 01:16 AM (QzkSJ)

601 They died 19/21 years ago, Miley. You asked if I would introduce Kelsie to my folks - well, I can't, unless taking her to the cemetery counts.

Posted by: Broseidon at March 24, 2021 01:18 AM (icI8A)

602 Loving mothers do their own plucking
Posted by: Miklos, one Mother of a Plucker at March 24, 2021 01:16 AM (QzkSJ)

Oh?

Posted by: Robert, intrigued by the thought of mother pluckers at March 24, 2021 01:18 AM (C0WK3)

603 OUIJA board.

Posted by: Robert, intrigued by the thought of mother pluckers at March 24, 2021 01:19 AM (C0WK3)

604 Plucking, oh my... so glad to purchase ready-to-cook!

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 01:19 AM (09wCi)

605 Pleasant mother pluckers

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:20 AM (qrcf4)

606 Oh?
Posted by: Robert

Clucking

I meant to say clucking

What was I thinking

Posted by: Miklos, one Mother of a Shucker at March 24, 2021 01:20 AM (QzkSJ)

607 How did google send out a chrome update that's breaking android apps? Is regression testing racist?

Posted by: Jean at March 24, 2021 01:20 AM (Xih1H)

608 JQ and Miklos, true.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 01:20 AM (L2ZTs)

609 Pleasant mother pheasant pluckers
who pluck mother pheasants

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:21 AM (qrcf4)

610 Pleasant mother pluckers
Posted by: Braenyard

Pleasant mother pheasant pluckers

Posted by: Miklos, suckas at March 24, 2021 01:21 AM (QzkSJ)

611 The most pleasant mother pheasant pluckers
who ever plucked a mother pheasant.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:21 AM (qrcf4)

612 OK

HordeMind achieves the Singularity

Posted by: Miklos, farging icehole at March 24, 2021 01:22 AM (QzkSJ)

613 The most pleasant mother pheasant pluckers
who ever plucked a mother pheasant.
Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:21 AM (qrcf4)

"He sure was!" she sighed.

Posted by: Just the punchline at March 24, 2021 01:22 AM (mzC78)

614 Heh, saw a truck in traffic today:

http://redhotironworks.com/

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 24, 2021 01:27 AM (WZ5i4)

615 Peter Piper plucked a peck of ... never mind.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 24, 2021 01:30 AM (pK7cg)

616 To Pluck a Pheasant

an exercise in Poetic Pharce

To pluck a pleasant pheasant
Is a pleasure for a peasant
But the pleasure for the pheasant
Well
There isn't

Posted by: Miklos "Percy" Dovetonsils at March 24, 2021 01:30 AM (QzkSJ)

617 The age of Ric Ocasek is interesting. Being in high school when the Cars came out, I can tell you that absolutely no kid knew he was 35 which in an era where the about the same age Stones were practically Frank Sinatra would have astounded us. The Cars were considered New Wave (although the bones of the tunes were all classic rock) so we figured they were early 20s like all the other New Wave bands were. Also, nobody knew how old Debbie Harry of Blondie was, either.

Posted by: azjaeger at March 24, 2021 01:32 AM (3/XaG)

618 Peter Pipe was a piker compared to Theophilus Thistle.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 01:32 AM (Mzdiz)

619 Prayers Irongrampa.

Happy news - the store opening was a resounding success! Just finished looking over the receipts for the day and we closed out at 40% over sales projections for the day.

A few small wrinkles but all good problems to have.

All the staff showed up. Bonus.

Thank you good citizens of Rowlett TX.

Posted by: Tonypete at March 24, 2021 01:34 AM (Rvt88)

620
You didn't take the shopping carts outside of the store -- they stayed inside. The bag boys would load your stuff in big paper bags
----

Well, the guy at the gas station pumped the gas, cleaned your windshield, and checked the oil.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 24, 2021 01:34 AM (cGzEU)

621
Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter,
in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles,
thrust three thousands thistles through the
thick of his thumb.

See that thou, in sifting sieves of unsifted thistles,
thrust not three thousand thistles through
the thick of thy thumb.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 01:35 AM (Mzdiz)

622 Peter Pipe was a piker compared to Theophilus Thistle.
Posted by: publius, Rascally

How many pipes could Peter Pipe pike if Peter Pipe could pike pipes?

Posted by: Miklos, who admittedly has ben imbibing at March 24, 2021 01:35 AM (QzkSJ)

623 Speaking of Piggly Wiggly stores, just 2 blocks down the street from us, nestled right in the middle of our neighborhood, is what used to be a Piggly Wiggly store (one of the first in town):

https://tinyurl.com/OldPigWig

A couple of decades ago (we've been here over 35 years), some enterprising folks converted the building into what has become a right famous place to purchase lots of things from old houses:

https://tinyurl.com/OldHomeSupply

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas - Sexy Texas Neanderthal at March 24, 2021 01:35 AM (SRRAx)

624 azjaeger, yup.

Gwen Stefani turns 52 this year, but still looks 28.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 01:35 AM (L2ZTs)

625 They died 19/21 years ago, Miley. You asked if I
would introduce Kelsie to my folks - well, I can't, unless taking her to
the cemetery counts.

Posted by: Broseidon at March 24, 2021 01:18 AM (icI8A)
The dead don't judge.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess - #SuperStraight at March 24, 2021 01:37 AM (Mzdiz)

626 Goodnight all, thanks for the fun chat tonight.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 24, 2021 01:37 AM (L2ZTs)

627 thrust not three thousand thistles through
the thick of thy thumb.
Posted by: publius,

Who could oppose that?

Posted by: Miklos, admittedly but only partially right handed at March 24, 2021 01:37 AM (QzkSJ)

628
A flea and a fly in a flue,
were entrapped, so what could they do?
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 01:37 AM (Mzdiz)

629 Well, I am going to call it a night. Busy day planned for tomorrow.

Be well, Horde.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 24, 2021 01:38 AM (mzC78)

630 Goodnight all, thanks for the fun chat tonight.
Posted by: qdpsteve

Tacos Buenos and good tips!

Posted by: Miklos, extending Best all the way to California USA (kinda) at March 24, 2021 01:38 AM (QzkSJ)

631 All the staff showed up. Bonus.

Thank you good citizens of Rowlett TX.
Posted by: Tonypete at March 24, 2021 01:34 AM (Rvt8
-------------

American/Texan enterprise.
Congratulations.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:38 AM (qrcf4)

632 So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Posted by: publius

I got a book of Ogden Nash when I was very young.

Permanently messed up my sense of language.

Posted by: Miklos, who was not there at March 24, 2021 01:40 AM (QzkSJ)

633 Well, I am going to call it a night. Busy day planned for tomorrow.

Be well, Horde.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Oh shit.

I FedExed him my car, and I bet he won't sign for it

Posted by: Miklos, back to the drawing of draughts at March 24, 2021 01:43 AM (QzkSJ)

634
When reasonably sober, I can rattle of Theo Thistle and the Flea and the Fly pretty good, but the "Sixth shiek's sixth sheep's sick" will get me every time.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 01:44 AM (Mzdiz)

635 Today, 25,000 contractors in Afghanistan, all of them supporting troops logistics, none of them are confronting the Taliban. no pluma

Saying originally the Pentagram wanted to go into with tanks and heavy crap - the agency went in on horseback and kicked ass.

When Baghram became a saluting station and the beards were shaved the Pentagram adopted the Russian model and that's when things went to sh*t.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:47 AM (qrcf4)

636 QDPsteve - my pleasure to spread the joy of the OG Cult.

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 01:47 AM (KAi1n)

637 Posted by: publius

Tell us about the Big Blue Bug what bit the Big Bear again, grampa!

Posted by: Miklos, evil but effective teacher of English to persons of absurd linguistic provenance at March 24, 2021 01:48 AM (QzkSJ)

638
The Sixth Sheik one is only #11 on the list of hardest tongue twisters.

#1 is supposedly thus: "Pad kid poured curd pulled cod"

#2: Brisk brave brigadiers brandished broad bright blades, blunderbusses, and bludgeons, balancing them badly.

#3: If you must cross a course cross cow across a crowded cow crossing, cross the cross coarse cow across the crowded cow crossing carefully.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 01:51 AM (Mzdiz)

639 Down by Lake Ray Wylie Hubbard, good spot.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 01:55 AM (qrcf4)

640 When I taught English to benighted non-Speakers of Ye Olde Englishe, I always ran them through lots of tongue twisters.

Most can speak with a better accent than "native" speakers of the sort one hears on the Local News.

Posted by: Miklos, Distinguished Miklos Emeritus at March 24, 2021 01:55 AM (QzkSJ)

641 NEXT UP

Fourteen (14) syllable German tongue twisters

Posted by: Miklos von und zu Miklostein at March 24, 2021 01:57 AM (QzkSJ)

642
Honorable mention, and Moron worthy:

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit,
and on the slitted sheet I sit.

If you want to make a saint cuss, that's how you do it.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 01:58 AM (Mzdiz)

643 Tis time. Goodnite, good people. Be safe and sleep well.

Posted by: irongrampa at March 24, 2021 01:59 AM (KATBx)

644 Girl gargoyle, guy gargoyle,
Gal gargoyle, Grrr, gargoyle.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 02:00 AM (qrcf4)

645 G.C. Murphy

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 02:00 AM (KAi1n)

646 Tis time. Goodnite, good people. Be safe and sleep well.
Posted by: irongrampa

And to you, Sir.

Posted by: Miklos at March 24, 2021 02:00 AM (QzkSJ)

647 G.C. Murphy
Posted by: SFGoth

There's a Law about that.

Posted by: Miklos If Miklos can go wrong, he will at March 24, 2021 02:01 AM (QzkSJ)

648 Girl gargoyle, guy gargoyle,
Gal gargoyle, Grrr, gargoyle.
Posted by: Braenyard,

I'm thinking Terri Garr

Posted by: Miklos, perpetual Positive Thinker at March 24, 2021 02:02 AM (QzkSJ)

649 Now that the riff-raff have cleared themselves out

Posted by: Miklos feels free...and PRETTY at March 24, 2021 02:05 AM (QzkSJ)

650 Asstronomy

The science of observing and analyzing girl's backsides



Posted by: Miklos L'Observateur at March 24, 2021 02:07 AM (QzkSJ)

651 Riff Raff? You mean the Underdog villian?

Haven't seen in decades.

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 02:07 AM (09wCi)

652 Wait...

Wife is calling from Vegas again

Free within the 48 states, she tells me

Posted by: Miklos, no respect I tell ya at March 24, 2021 02:09 AM (QzkSJ)

653 So I go down to the buffet. All you can eat, ya know?

Guy charges me double

Posted by: Miklos, eh, tough crowd at March 24, 2021 02:12 AM (QzkSJ)

654 *plays Waffle House Song on jukebox again*

Posted by: Miklos, scattered and smothered at March 24, 2021 02:13 AM (QzkSJ)

655 People expect old men to die,
They do not really mourn old men.
Old men are different. People look
At them with eyes that wonder when...
People watch with unshocked eyes;
But the old men know when an old man dies.

Posted by: Braenyard, starving the beast at March 24, 2021 02:15 AM (qrcf4)

656
There used to be a good steak house, called Ryan's. They had several restaurants around here. It was a chain, but a very local chain of just a few here and over in Spartanburg. Very good.

They sold out and became a all-you-can-eat. That was around the time I was going to Clempson Cow Collidge, and I came back and wanted to go to Ryan's. I was warned. I did not heed the warnings.

That a very traumatic experience. Huge land whales, whole families of them, feeding at the trough. My God. It was disgusting. Taking plates and piling shit on them on and shoveling them in their moufs.

Thankfully, it didn't last. That was the end of Ryan's. Took a good name and ruined it.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 02:16 AM (Mzdiz)

657 Just checked the fridge.

Blue cheese looks moldy.

Posted by: Miklos, out in back where the "facilities" are at March 24, 2021 02:16 AM (QzkSJ)

658
Asstrometrics. Measuring and quantifying said backsides. For science.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 02:17 AM (Mzdiz)

659 Riff Raff? You mean the Underdog villian?

Posted by: JQ

Rocky Horror

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 02:18 AM (KAi1n)

660 Huge land whales, whole families of them, feeding at the trough. My God. It was disgusting. Taking plates and piling shit on them on and shoveling them in their moufs.

Thankfully, it didn't last. That was the end of Ryan's. Took a good name and ruined it.
Posted by: publius

One word

Golden Corral

Posted by: Miklos, the former Ryan's here still has the sign, enpty for years at March 24, 2021 02:18 AM (QzkSJ)

661 Quota will be met

Posted by: Miklos, prepared to use Direct Intervention at March 24, 2021 02:19 AM (QzkSJ)

662 Pastranomi - the tasty science

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 02:20 AM (KAi1n)

663 Rocky Horror
Posted by: SFGoth

"Let's see what's on the slab" is a pretty good reference to ONT as well

Posted by: Dr. Frank N. Miklos-Furter at March 24, 2021 02:21 AM (QzkSJ)

664 Pastranomi - the tasty science
Posted by: SFGoth

I would still put Gov. Noemi against the wall and see what sticks

Posted by: Miklos is not notoriously picky at March 24, 2021 02:23 AM (QzkSJ)

665 !

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 02:24 AM (09wCi)

666 !!!!

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 02:25 AM (09wCi)

667 I mean, Gov. Noem is from South Dakota..."where flour is a spice"

Posted by: Miklos heard that from Minot actually at March 24, 2021 02:25 AM (QzkSJ)

668
Ryan's was bigger than I thought I see, looking them up. They had one here in Simpsonville, back in the '80s, late '80s or so when they went "buffet" (or maybe it was around '90, '91), and one in Greenville and then Spartanburg. There weren't too many of them around here.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 02:26 AM (Mzdiz)

669 666 !!!!
Posted by: JQ


A man gaineth the 666 world, and loseth his own soul.

Posted by: The Book of Miklos, New Revised Version at March 24, 2021 02:27 AM (QzkSJ)

670 Putting a Psychopath in a Fishbowl with Soft People does not make for a Good Time.

Spittin' Truth...
Barricade Garage:
https://tinyurl.com/vc6zy9ch

Posted by: Slapweasel at March 24, 2021 02:27 AM (Ckg4U)

671 There used to be a rather nice 'buffet' style restaurant in the next town over.

I think the land-whales bankrupted it. It failed before the covid op.

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 02:28 AM (09wCi)

672 #660
Been there once.

Golden Corral is Far Side material.

I think covid killed jt.

Posted by: torabora at March 24, 2021 02:29 AM (4aFvd)

673 Hey, Slapweasel!

How are you?

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 02:29 AM (09wCi)

674 Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear

I worked for a time at a Steak n' Ale (also gone)

The manger used to put down the Ryan's steaks and how they bought them.

Posted by: Miklos, unlike anybody in the US COngress, actually worked for minimum wage at March 24, 2021 02:30 AM (QzkSJ)

675 FULL AND COMPLETE APOLOGY TO SLAPWEASEL ON THE PART OF MIKLOS AND ANY HEIRS OR ASSIGNS

Posted by: Miklos, sincerely at March 24, 2021 02:31 AM (QzkSJ)

676 Sheesh. I take a news day off and everything turns to shit.... Oh wait, that's everyday anyways. Oh well. Reflecting on Ace's stuff today, I grabbed this blurb from Julie Kelly's AG article re an OathKeeper that denies even being an OathKeeper:

He was arrested at his home on January 19; prosecutors successfully argued Caldwell should remain behind bars until his trial because he believes the 2020 election was stolen, a position frequently cited by the Justice Department as a reason to deny bail for many defendants.

The New Deplorable Hotness -- Believing the election was stolen is a terrorist conspiracy; no bail for you. Firebomb a federal building, blow up police HQs, attempt to burn alive officers; okey-dokey, no charges prosecuted.

The polls say 55% of Americans, of all stripes, believe the election wasn't on the up and up. That's a lot of terrorists.

Thanks for the ONT Mis Hum.


Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 02:31 AM (F0YaR)

677
I remember Steak n' Ale. There was one in Greenville, right at the Pleasantburg Dr. and 385 exit. There were others around too, but that was the one we went to.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 02:32 AM (Mzdiz)

678 FULL AND COMPLETE APOLOGY TO SLAPWEASEL ON THE PART OF MIKLOS AND ANY HEIRS OR ASSIGNS

Posted by: Miklos, sincerely at March 24, 2021 02:31 AM (QzkSJ)


You fucked with the slapweasel? Oh my.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 02:33 AM (F0YaR)

679 Prayers up for you, Slap... hope you're well.

Time for shut-eye here.

Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 02:35 AM (09wCi)

680 "...How are you?"
-Posted by: JQ at March 24, 2021 02:29 AM (09wCi)

I'm okay. Just wanted to drop that link and then head to bed. Hope everything is good with you, as well.

G'Night, Ev'ry-Buddy!

*static*

Posted by: Slapweasel at March 24, 2021 02:35 AM (Ckg4U)

681 Asstrometrics. Measuring and quantifying said backsides. For science.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 02:17 AM (Mzdiz)


I use the rule of thumb, if they will let me.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 02:35 AM (F0YaR)

682 I remember Steak n' Ale. There was one in Greenville, right at the Pleasantburg Dr. and 385 exit. There were others around too, but that was the one we went to.
Posted by: publius

That was my first introduction to the amount of work actually done in restaurant kitchens (almost everything pre-prepped).

I plan to start shopping at the restaurant wholesaler the welcomes the General Public (USFOODS/Chefstore)

I think there is one not far from you.

Posted by: Third Shift Sous-Chef Miklos at March 24, 2021 02:36 AM (QzkSJ)

683 You fucked with the slapweasel? Oh my.
Posted by: GnuBreed

Not intentionally.

In my defense, never got the User's Guide neither.

Posted by: Miklos, singing old spirituals at March 24, 2021 02:38 AM (QzkSJ)

684 I watched the Tucker/Noem exchange, and he and Ace nailed the essence -- Noem surrender-monkeyed to the NCAA. Wants 'a coalition' to fight The Power.

You ARE the power. I hafta say, my gubner and legislature in MS have already signed the 'dudes in womens' sports' bill into law.

That, Ms Noem, is how you fight The Power. By saying FUCK OFF. And it is what I said when I was watching that interview. Tucker nailed her to the wall, and rightfully so.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 02:42 AM (F0YaR)

685 You can't avoid HOAs in CA if you have a condo. Required by state law. Luckily my HOA is me and the owner of the upper condo in our duplex.

And with that, night all.

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 02:44 AM (KAi1n)

686 Oh, one last thing I forgot from earlier. I find that doing the dishes, laundry, etc., gives me a chance to ponder legal issues and such. It's good contemplation time.

Posted by: SFGoth at March 24, 2021 02:46 AM (KAi1n)

687 Oh, one last thing I forgot from earlier. I find that doing the dishes, laundry, etc., gives me a chance to ponder legal issues and such. It's good contemplation time.
Posted by: SFGoth

The legal system

You're soaking in it!

Posted by: Paralegal Madge at March 24, 2021 02:47 AM (QzkSJ)

688 It really should have been 'NO dudes in womens' sports bill. My bad.

There's your coalition, Christi. You plus MS makes two.

Such a shame, really. You definitely tarnished your star; and you outperformed our gubner in the China virus stuff... then pissed it away.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 02:47 AM (F0YaR)

689 The legal system

You're soaking in it!

Posted by: Paralegal Madge at March 24, 2021 02:47 AM (QzkSJ)


Mediocracy is my favorite soak.

Posted by: Kristi Noem at March 24, 2021 02:53 AM (F0YaR)

690 Oh sure, dictionary autospellcheck faggots, reject 'mediocracy' in favor of mediocrity; even now, the red squiggle underline is under the cracy version.

But Merriam and Dictionary.com both recognize the cracy version. Made me waste a search, I award you a bag of dicks.

Posted by: GnuBreed, pissed at March 24, 2021 02:58 AM (F0YaR)

691 I can't be the only person awake and buzzed at this hour; looks around, takes a surreptitious leak in the potted plant in the corner.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 03:00 AM (F0YaR)

692 Dayum, I almost argued with the idiot. sheesh.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 03:02 AM (F0YaR)

693 Apparently, The Peddler Steak House is is still around.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 24, 2021 03:10 AM (pK7cg)

694 Mornin'
(sips coffee)

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 24, 2021 03:12 AM (ZNMdr)

695 (peeks in)

I must be among the first of the daywalkers to awake.

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 24, 2021 03:22 AM (ZNMdr)

696
Raimondo shit the sheet, the sheet he shit,
upon the shitted sheets he sits.

Just like Zhou Bi-Den, a sheet shitter extraordinaire.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 03:26 AM (Mzdiz)

697 >> Apparently, The Peddler Steak House is is still around.

Indeed:

https://www.thepeddlersteakhouse.com/

That was and is one of the higher end joints in the area. You went there (at least my class of folk) only on very special occasions.

Which reminds me, it's one of the places I haven't yet taken Miley. That will be remedied soon.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 03:30 AM (Mzdiz)

698 Mornin', all

Posted by: My life is insanity at March 24, 2021 03:36 AM (xy43c)

699 Up early enough to actually make breakfast.

I'm thinking egg sandwich

Posted by: My life is insanity at March 24, 2021 03:42 AM (xy43c)

700 16 If you've seen a 2001 Honda Insight, regardless of it's condition, you'd want it towed off your property stat.
---
I will go get a 2001 Honda Insight and put it on my property just to tow it away.

Posted by: Jimco Industries at March 24, 2021 04:05 AM (buTO7)

701 Going to need 6 cups today

MLii how did you do microwave potatoes again?

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 04:06 AM (Cxk7w)

702 https://www.thepeddlersteakhouse.com/

That was and is one of the higher end joints in the area. You went there (at least my class of folk) only on very special occasions.

Which reminds me, it's one of the places I haven't yet taken Miley. That will be remedied soon.
Posted by: publius

I think I owe you a lunch, so I will happily send a gift certificate once I get your RFD address.

Posted by: Miklos admits to being sous vide at March 24, 2021 04:08 AM (QzkSJ)

703 Skip, after washing and piercing, i rubbed them with butter and generously sprinkled salt on them. Then wrapped them in waxed paper. Bake in microwave according to instructions. (mine is just over 5 min for 1 potato)

Posted by: My life is insanity at March 24, 2021 04:14 AM (xy43c)

704 >> once I get your RFD address.

I'll have Miley send our address to you (if I can remember, I'm about to go sleepy-bye -- if not, remind me/us). And I'm thinking, next time you're up, we can all go.

And you don't owe me a thing. You'll be our guest at the Peddler (or wherever else you'd like).

Talk to you tomorrow, I'm out. Take care.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at March 24, 2021 04:16 AM (Mzdiz)

705 Morning has broken,
Like the first morning,
Blackbird has spoken
Like the first bird;
Praise for the singing,
Praise for the morning,
Praise for them springing
Fresh from the Word.

Posted by: Miklos, quoting the original by Eleanor Farjeon at March 24, 2021 04:17 AM (QzkSJ)

706 I tried that minus salt and didn't seem to do much

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 04:17 AM (Cxk7w)

707 So have half of a potato left to fry with sausage and eggs

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 04:18 AM (Cxk7w)

708 Maybe the salt is whst does it. Crisped up the skin.

Posted by: My life is insanity at March 24, 2021 04:18 AM (xy43c)

709 My Leftist headline of the day
CNN - People gave up on flu pandemic a century ago and paid the price

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 04:19 AM (Cxk7w)

710 Good morning everyone except the troll

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 24, 2021 04:41 AM (EZebt)

711 I need to do get moving earlier more often!

That sandwich was amazing, and I found white grapefruit which were just like I remembered them to be.



And it all made the coffee taste much better!

Posted by: My life is insanity at March 24, 2021 04:43 AM (xy43c)

712 Permission to leave the dishes for Mr. I?

Posted by: My life is insanity at March 24, 2021 04:44 AM (xy43c)

713 Hiya

Posted by: JT at March 24, 2021 04:44 AM (arJlL)

714 Morning horde,

What's new?

Posted by: Pete Bog at March 24, 2021 04:45 AM (bzrNB)

715 Gotta run.

I will deal with the consequences of leaving dirty dishes in the sink later!

Make it a good day, all

Posted by: My life is insanity at March 24, 2021 04:47 AM (xy43c)

716 I try not to, I get yelled at

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 04:47 AM (Cxk7w)

717 On other hand I never mind

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 04:48 AM (Cxk7w)

718 I'm incapable of doing dishes properly.

Learned helplessness

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 24, 2021 04:48 AM (EZebt)

719
My sister is fat, and old, and a leftist. She should avoid people. But the only thing that will make her happy is if people who are not fat and old and leftists are locked up in their homes until the last trace of covid disappears from the planet sometime in the next 100 years.

Now the correct thing to do is tell people who are fat, and old, and leftists is for them to stay the hell home - let other people live their lives, run their businesses, enjoy life.

But we can't do that, can we?

Posted by: Bill from Attainder at March 24, 2021 04:49 AM (N/gDA)

720 Dolphin app I use for here on old tablet kept crashing so have new tablet

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 04:51 AM (Cxk7w)

721 MLii might be gone but WI has 3 days 0 Covid deaths

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 04:57 AM (Cxk7w)

722
Tick, tock, Slo Jo. Tick, tock.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 24, 2021 04:58 AM (pNxlR)

723 Sad to see that George Segal passed away. I remember him most from The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox and the sitcom Just Shoot Me! Sure he did a bunch of other movies but that one stood out as he was in the lead and it was the right time for me to see it many times. One thing I always heard about Segal was that there was a time he was as big as anyone in Hollywood, but for some reason he didn't make it to the really big time. It might have been the choice of roles. I might have been one of those situations where you should have zagged, when you zigged. But he was a major actor one way or the other.

I mostly remember him from Just Shoot Me!. That was a very clever sitcom with a lot of inventive stuff to offer. The show petered out pretty badly as so many of them do. But the writers themselves talked about how they put their best stuff in the early seasons because they didn't know how long it would last.

Posted by: Quint at March 24, 2021 04:59 AM (OgcCr)

724 Quint when did he die?
He is a great

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 05:02 AM (Cxk7w)

725 But we can't do that, can we?
Posted by: Bill from Attainder at March 24, 2021 04:49 AM (N/gDA)

===
Of course you can. And you should.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 24, 2021 05:04 AM (EZebt)

726 That show was a perfect example of the standard sitcom arc. The first season usually is not that great, because they spend so much time introducing the characters and the actors are still trying to figure out who the characters are. The second and third seasons are usually the best because that is when the writers throw in all their best ideas before the show can be cancelled.

Aside from being a funny and witty show, there is one other thing about it I will always remember. Segal's character had a nemesis he was always in competition with. The never shown nemesis was one Donald J. Trump. Trump was never on the show, but he was mentioned countless times. For that reason alone Just Shoot Me! will likely never come back into major syndication. I have the CD's and it is fun that he and Trump are always in some crazy bet or competition.

Posted by: Quint at March 24, 2021 05:05 AM (OgcCr)

727 Breakfast was good but might still stop for a break time donut if they are open by time I get there.
Have a great day horde

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 05:06 AM (Cxk7w)

728 Quint when did he die?

He is a great

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2021 05:02 AM (Cxk7w)

I think yesterday. I just saw it on the interwebs.

Posted by: Quint at March 24, 2021 05:06 AM (OgcCr)

729
To all the lockdown and mask up aficionados the word ought to be, "YOU are welcome to, nay, ORDERED TO, stay at home and cower in place - the rest of us intend to go about our own lives. You, your attitudes and your negligible contributions will not be missed."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 24, 2021 05:16 AM (pNxlR)

730 Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2021 05:19 AM (lmikk)

731
People really must tan fast in the Miami Beach sun.

Posted by: Bill from Attainder at March 24, 2021 05:25 AM (N/gDA)

732
g'mornin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at March 24, 2021 05:55 AM (WO+ia)

733 Mornin', folk,

Going to work from home today. The Gnaw-luns area is getting slammed with what the news readers optimistically call "severe weather" -- steady rain with a good chance of flooding. Where I work often floods, at least the streets where I'd park. That was how I lost the BMW in 2019. Naturally I'm being careful.

Might need to stay at home again tomorrow. Once that would have been a welcome break. Now, after the 5 months of house arrest last year, it just means looking at the same walls again.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 24, 2021 06:00 AM (lSpWa)

734 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I DO MY LAUNDRY ON WEDNESDAY MORNINGS.

It's Wednesday and it's morning.

Posted by: JAS, AoSHQ addict at March 24, 2021 06:03 AM (2BZBZ)

735
Sad to see that George Segal passed away.

Posted by: Quint at March 24, 2021 04:59 AM


another grim milestone for the biden administration

Posted by: AltonJackson at March 24, 2021 06:04 AM (WO+ia)

736 George Segal is gone? He might not have been a household name, but he was a major actor for a long time. He played the title role in the Japanese POW camp flick King Rat, for instance, and he was Robert Redford's chief partner-in-crime, Andy Kelp, in The Hot Rock. He dabbled in the spy genre with The Quiller Memorandum, and played a mom-henpecked police detective in the early serial killer story (a William Goldman novel and script) called No Way to Treat a Lady.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 24, 2021 06:05 AM (lSpWa)

737 Oh, and IMDb reminds me that Segal was half of the "normal" couple (with Sandy Dennis) in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 24, 2021 06:06 AM (lSpWa)

738
George Segal was really good in The Terminal Man

Posted by: AltonJackson at March 24, 2021 06:06 AM (WO+ia)

739 George Segal was really good in The Terminal Man
Posted by: AltonJackson at March 24, 2021


***

He was a mainstay in a lot of the films we consider classic or important in the '60s and '70s. His one Oscar nod was for Best Supporting Actor for Virginia Woolf.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 24, 2021 06:09 AM (lSpWa)

740 Good morning!

Let's smile & be happy & strike fear in the hearts of killjoy leftists everywhere.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 24, 2021 06:15 AM (u82oZ)

741
I didn't like it when he smothered Jack Nicholson with a pillow in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'.

Posted by: Confused at March 24, 2021 06:17 AM (N/gDA)

742 wtf, peoples

Posted by: DB- just DB at March 24, 2021 06:18 AM (iTXRQ)

743 per Euronews, penises are shrinking because of pollution according to an environmental scientist...

giving a fresh meaning to the word "euroweenies".

Help Honey, I Shrunk The Dicks
No Dicks For Sister Sarah
Dickless In Seattle
Vanishing Dick
Saving Ryan's Privates

*someone stop me please*

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 06:21 AM (F0YaR)

744
Looks like he died on the operating table during bypass surgery, so another Covid-19 death.

Posted by: Bill from Attainder at March 24, 2021 06:27 AM (N/gDA)

745 GnuBreed

Stop, please.

This is what Science has come to?
I'm sure Sandra Fluke has many.many questions.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 24, 2021 06:28 AM (u82oZ)

746
Looks like he died on the operating table during bypass surgery, so another Covid-19 death.

Posted by: Bill from Attainder at March 24, 2021 06:27 AM


Let's look at the science... yeah, definitely covid related.

Posted by: Dr Frauci at March 24, 2021 06:29 AM (N/gDA)

747 I guess his operating room team was not diverse enough.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 24, 2021 06:30 AM (u82oZ)

748 per Euronews, penises are shrinking because of pollution according to an environmental scientist...

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2021 06:21 AM


I've read that pollution also causes 'undescended testicles'. Talk about leaving a guy hanging.

Posted by: Dr Frauci at March 24, 2021 06:32 AM (N/gDA)

749 per Euronews, penises are shrinking because of pollution according to an environmental scientist...

Posted by: GnuBreed

ANd also from wearing banana hammocks at the beach

Posted by: Bruce at March 24, 2021 06:36 AM (vd8XM)

750 So somewhere in Europe there is a lab that measures men's penises. Interesting want ads they must put out for employees. I would like to see the interviews and how they are conducted.

Posted by: Colin at March 24, 2021 06:39 AM (LMv6a)

751 Work preps start now.

Have a great day, everyone. May you be blessed with transitory happiness and long-term meaning.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 24, 2021 06:39 AM (u82oZ)

752 Well I see on Insty's site that two black teens have set a disabled white man on fire and killed him in New York state.

Just more of that white supremacy we've been seeing so much of lately. Really is a shame how so many innocent minority types are being set upon by vicious white racists. Why just yesterday that sweet refugee-congressperson Ilhan Omar (not her real name, just the one she used for immigration fraud purposes) was tweeting about that awful white man who killed all those poor innocent muslims in the Colorado grocery store.

Such a shame we live in a society fraught with such overwhelming white raaaaaacism and hateful unfairness to sweet, innocent, law-abiding refugees, ain't it!

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2021 06:42 AM (k4dH2)

753
Talk about penis size, a bride goes off to spend the wedding night with her new husband only to discover he's been amputated on one leg at the knee.

She goes back downstairs where her mother is washing dishes, in tears. "But Mom, she said,"He has a foot and a half."

"Hell, you wash the dishes," her Mom said, "I'll have some of that myself."

Posted by: Dr Frauci at March 24, 2021 06:45 AM (N/gDA)

754 Good Morning all. Up and rolling with coffee. Got to get a car to the body shop today so It can pass vehicle inspection. I read the laundry article on scary bitches last night and looked at it again this AM. God what a scary website. Shudder.

Posted by: Picric at March 24, 2021 06:48 AM (3QnyK)

755 Biden-Harris admin. Still trying to figure out the reasoning here. Damage control for the fact that Biden is a vegetable. Trying to boost her popularity with the base (since she could not win the primary?) Trying to show diversity and/or glom off HER popularity.

Just seems peculiar.

Posted by: Aetius451AD personal phone at March 24, 2021 06:52 AM (giapq)

756 Segal was also in Roller coaster. That was a strange film. I recall it as a kid and to be honest I can't remember much of it other than some mad bomber was blowing up roller coasters. The thing I do recall is they shot some scenes at Kings Dominion in Virginia. They barely alluded to it, but I think they mentioned Doswell. The roller coaster was called "The Rebel Yell". Of course that was changed in recent years, because of of it was.

Posted by: Quint at March 24, 2021 06:52 AM (OgcCr)

757 he complained about not having a girlfriend, ranted about President Trump and talked about his Islamic faith. He also ranted online about 'racist islamophobes' hacking his phone.

Posted by: rhennigantx at March 24, 2021 06:55 AM (yrol0)

758 Morning, 'rons and 'ettes.

Posted by: olddog in mo, uckfay ancercay at March 24, 2021 06:56 AM (ju2Fy)

759 well duh!!

The Government Accountability Office is investigating whether Joe Biden's administration broke the law by immediately halting construction of the border wall, contravening rules that Congress determines how federal funds are spent.

Posted by: rhennigantx at March 24, 2021 06:57 AM (yrol0)

760 Montgomery is still unconscious...
Posted by: Zettai at March 24, 2021 12:38 AM (szPRO)



Fuck her. Fucker her brains out.

Posted by: The Imp on Bronson's Shoulder at March 24, 2021 06:57 AM (yQpMk)

761 Good morning!

The Gnaw-luns area is getting slammed with what the news readers optimistically call "severe weather" -- steady rain with a good chance of flooding.

So. Another early spring day?

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at March 24, 2021 06:59 AM (5XK0y)

762 we are going to do much less, with much more, and do it less timely

Chief of struggling USPS sparks outrage with new 10-year plan that will cut post office hours, lengthen delivery times by up to five days and make mail more expensive

Posted by: rhennigantx at March 24, 2021 06:59 AM (yrol0)

763
"What am I signing?" Joe Biden* asked.

"Just sign it," said a voice off camera.

But don't dare question his health, mental capacity, agility, or the integrity of the election, because that makes one an 'insurrectionist'.

Posted by: Bill from Attainder at March 24, 2021 07:01 AM (N/gDA)

764 Biden-Harris admin. Still trying to figure out the reasoning here.

Just training the public - for when they make the switch. Simple as that.

Posted by: Night Moves at March 24, 2021 07:01 AM (EeUIW)

765 I've already pretty much started call Kamala, President Harris. Has a nice ring to it. The MFM will love it, and will the people of DC line Pennsylvania Ave with tears in their eyes, or do they having some of the weepers from NK come and weep and wail. (This is assuming Kamala does a complete wipe out of Biden)

Posted by: Colin at March 24, 2021 07:12 AM (LMv6a)

766 Posted by: rhennigantx at March 24, 2021 06:59 AM (yrol0)

If the USPS gets any worse we should probably just move to Pony Express equivalent.

I mailed a 1st class envelope yesterday with tracking and signature upgrades. It's going about eight miles, and will be delivered on Thursday. How much worse can that get?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 24, 2021 07:12 AM (Q9lwr)

767 First-class mail isn't.

Posted by: JAS, AoSHQ addict at March 24, 2021 07:14 AM (2BZBZ)

768 Good morning, Horde. Hope we all had a good restful night of sleep for the hell ahead of us today.

Seeing reports that Ahmad Al-Issa's entire online life has been scrubbed. And yeah, that includes archive.is, Gulag cache, and wayback machine dumps. The digital revolution will not be televised, or even archived and searchable.

Soon it will be a Kooky Konspiracy Theory to suggest this wannabe jihadist killed 10-people, who by pure coincidence were of the same (Caucasian) race, because he was, well, a wannabe jihadist.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:18 AM (NYS7S)

769 First-class mail isn't.
Posted by: JAS, AoSHQ addict at March 24, 2021 07:14 AM (2BZBZ)

The USPS has one job. Precisely. One job.

And they suck at it.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:18 AM (NYS7S)

770
Once Amazon has all of it's distribution system installed, Resident Harris will probably socialize it and wrap it and the USPS into one inefficient unionized entity.

Posted by: Bill from Attainder at March 24, 2021 07:19 AM (N/gDA)

771 Wait until they have to replace the windshield on the new postal trucks. I've been assuming they will be electric, as we have to go fully electric in 8 years in some states.

Posted by: Colin at March 24, 2021 07:21 AM (LMv6a)

772 Once Amazon has all of it's distribution system installed, Resident Harris will probably socialize it and wrap it and the USPS into one inefficient unionized entity.

By then, us proles will probably be prohibited from unsupervised communication via print anyway.

Posted by: Night Moves at March 24, 2021 07:22 AM (EeUIW)

773 The Wisconsin legislature has ordered an "inquiry" into the 2020 election.

Well, that horse fled the barn, was captured, worked to death, and turned to glue by now. But sure, go ahead and check that wide open barn door now.

Failure Theater, cheesehead version.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:22 AM (NYS7S)

774 771 Wait until they have to replace the windshield on the new postal trucks. I've been assuming they will be electric, as we have to go fully electric in 8 years in some states.
Posted by: Colin at March 24, 2021 07:21 AM (LMv6a)

Electric cars are up to 50% coal fired in about a third of the states!

Posted by: rhennigantx at March 24, 2021 07:24 AM (yrol0)

775 Once Amazon has all of it's distribution system
installed, Resident Harris will probably socialize it and wrap it and
the USPS into one inefficient unionized entity.

Posted by: Bill from Attainder at March 24, 2021 07:19 AM (N/gDA)

you will get a five percent discount on mail, if you have "Prime".

Posted by: Quint at March 24, 2021 07:26 AM (OgcCr)

776 By then, us proles will probably be prohibited from unsupervised communication via print anyway.

Posted by: Night Moves at March 24, 2021 07:22 AM (EeUIW)


Post cards only, comrade, to save the Earf!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 24, 2021 07:27 AM (87oRe)

777 The Wisconsin legislature has ordered an "inquiry" into the 2020 election.
Well, that horse fled the barn, was captured, worked to death, and turned to glue by now. But sure, go ahead and check that wide open barn door now.
Failure Theater, cheesehead version.
Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:22 AM (NYS7S)


We were fighting for you comrade, but our hands were tied, there was nothing we could do!"

Please send money so we can continue our valiant fight and re-elect our core team!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 24, 2021 07:29 AM (87oRe)

778 By then, us proles will probably be prohibited from unsupervised communication via print anyway.
Posted by: Night Moves at March 24, 2021 07:22 AM (EeUIW)

So, we're not going to be able to Make Printed Newsletters Great Again?

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:30 AM (NYS7S)

779 Windstorm woke me up, made coffee and then looked out the window. There's an inch of snow on the ground, was 75 here in ABQ on sunday.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 24, 2021 07:30 AM (OOmwL)

780 In Wisconsin:

200,000 voters declared themselves permanently confined in the states spring primary, a marked rise over prior years, and even more did so in the general election. Biden won Wisconsin by just 20,000 votes.

PS No ID was required to get a mail in ballot.

Posted by: rhennigantx at March 24, 2021 07:31 AM (yrol0)

781 I ordered some product online and I shipped USPS "Priority" mail. Ordered March 12th. It just arrived yesterday, hopelessly damaged. Great job fellas...

Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at March 24, 2021 07:33 AM (flINI)

782 mornin yall

Posted by: Big V Caffeinated at March 24, 2021 07:34 AM (6Pqz7)

783 So, we're not going to be able to Make Printed Newsletters Great Again?
Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:30 AM (NYS7S)


Sorry, the Supine Court has decided that the 1A referred only to material produced by hand operated broadsheet presses using hand set type!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 24, 2021 07:34 AM (87oRe)

784 So, we're not going to be able to Make Printed Newsletters Great Again?

Afraid not, my friend. Its just not the hill to die on. Besides - we'd probably lose in court, so why even bother. Have to pick our battles. #VoteHarder.

Posted by: Night Moves at March 24, 2021 07:34 AM (EeUIW)

785 impossible!

Maricopa County had an increase of 48% in Democratic turnout, from 702,907 in 2016 to 1.04 million in 2020.

Posted by: rhennigantx at March 24, 2021 07:34 AM (yrol0)

786 Morning peeps.

Posted by: Martini Farmer - Now a Pirate, Hoisting the Black Flag at March 24, 2021 07:35 AM (3H9h1)

787 Tracking a "Media Mail" package through USPS is fascinating. Order a book from a used bookshop in Atlanta. In less than 48-hours, a USPS contractor has moved that package from GA to within 10-miles of my house in suburban Boston.

It takes anywhere from 2-9 days for the same package to make it those last 10-miles. I could walk to the distribution center, pick it up, and walk back in a day if I needed to.

They suck. Period.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:36 AM (NYS7S)

788 Maricopa County had an increase of 48% in Democratic turnout, from 702,907 in 2016 to 1.04 million in 2020.

Posted by: rhennigantx at March 24, 2021 07:34 AM (yrol0)


I'd be willing to bet that the voter rolls do not list the names and/or addresses of about 300,000 new voters!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 24, 2021 07:37 AM (87oRe)

789 We're going to see election "inquiries" in just about every closely contested state now that the Deep State has had 5+ months since the election to clean-up any evidence of The Steal.

Well by golly kids, we looked and looked and looked and we just feel short. It's a real bummer, but your $100 contribution will make sure we can keep fighting for you.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:38 AM (NYS7S)

790 morning all, i read that story about the lady that resents her husband for doing the laundry.

dear lord, i'm glad i'm 29... there's so many warning bells going off there. the only good thing to come out of it is that she realizes men are problem solvers. but dude, it's too late but he should have run.

Posted by: SturmToddler at March 24, 2021 07:39 AM (8D42x)

791 You are not a patriot because you think you have the right to own these types of weapons. You are not a patriot. You should be taking care of your fellow Americans.

Posted by: Sunny Hosebag at March 24, 2021 07:40 AM (IP1HV)

792 Good morning!

The Gnaw-luns area is getting slammed with what the news readers optimistically call "severe weather" -- steady rain with a good chance of flooding.

So. Another early spring day?
Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at March 24, 2021


***

Exactly. Or summer, or fall, or winter.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 24, 2021 07:40 AM (lSpWa)

793 Posted by: SturmToddler at March 24, 2021 07:39 AM (8D42x)

Comrade, it sure sounds like you hate empowered, liberated, women with high expectations!
You may need to report to a re-education center near you in the near future!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 24, 2021 07:41 AM (87oRe)

794 but dude, it's too late but he should have run.

Why is a divorce so expensive ? Because its worth it.

Posted by: Night Moves at March 24, 2021 07:42 AM (EeUIW)

795
Posted by: Sunny Hosebag at March 24, 2021 07:40 AM (IP1HV)

as a lovely parting gift, have a big bag of dicks

Posted by: AltonJackson at March 24, 2021 07:42 AM (WO+ia)

796 You should be taking care of your fellow Americans.
Posted by: Sunny Hosebag at March 24, 2021 07:40 AM (IP1HV)


Especially take care of the ones that have no allegiance to this country and just strolled across the border seeking handouts, drivers licenses (that they can't produce when voting), free medical care, and full ride college tuition!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 24, 2021 07:43 AM (87oRe)

797 I do my own laundry but am not allowed to do Mrs f'd's. Something about mixing the socks and shirts or some bullshit like that.

Posted by: f'd at March 24, 2021 07:45 AM (IP1HV)

798 If refusing to bend the knee to The Great Resetters means I'm not a patriot, then I'll happily accept the label of Traitor.

Beats being a slave all day and 2x on Sunday.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:45 AM (NYS7S)

799 morning all, i read that story about the lady that resents her husband for doing the laundry.

dear lord, i'm glad i'm 29... there's so many warning bells going off there. the only good thing to come out of it is that she realizes men are problem solvers. but dude, it's too late but he should have run.
Posted by: SturmToddler at March 24, 2021 07:39 AM

Good morning! I know quite a few millennial mothers who read that site, scary mommy, as if it were their generation's Dr Spock. Every single thing I've ever read there is nasty ... filled with f bombs, virtue signaling, narcissism, and no end to the whining about how hard motherhood is and hand wringing about losing their "identity" and wanting their life back.

Posted by: one of the quiet ones at March 24, 2021 07:46 AM (HeKhk)

800 Good morning! I know quite a few millennial mothers who read that site, scary mommy, as if it were their generation's Dr Spock. Every single thing I've ever read there is nasty ... filled with f bombs, virtue signaling, narcissism, and no end to the whining about how hard motherhood is and hand wringing about losing their "identity" and wanting their life back.
Posted by: one of the quiet ones at March 24, 2021 07:46 AM (HeKhk)

They were raised by the original ME Generation. So, not surprising.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:48 AM (NYS7S)

801 What I'll never understand is why they chose an obviously deteriorating Zhou Bi Den if they already knew they were going to steal a landslide. Any of those primary candidates would have done just as well.

Why Bi Den? He was the worst candidate I've ever seen and I remember Bob Dole and John Kerry.

Posted by: Blutarski at March 24, 2021 07:48 AM (nnf6G)

802 Why Bi Den? He was the worst candidate I've ever seen and I remember Bob Dole and John Kerry.
Posted by: Blutarski at March 24, 2021 07:48 AM (nnf6G)

Because he is brain dead and will do as he's told.

Posted by: Spypeach at March 24, 2021 07:50 AM (Up/Jb)

803 Since retirement I do my own laundry. This winter it's been sweat pants and a shirt or hoodie. Maybe one or two loads every 2 weeks.

Posted by: Martini Farmer - Now a Pirate, Hoisting the Black Flag at March 24, 2021 07:50 AM (3H9h1)

804 If refusing to bend the knee to The Great Resetters means I'm not a patriot, then I'll happily accept the label of Traitor.

Suits me as well. I was just born here. Don't have any particular affinity for the joint. I've never caught the patriotism vibe. Never appreciated all those that wanted to make my business their business.

Posted by: Night Moves at March 24, 2021 07:50 AM (EeUIW)

805 Why Bi Den? He was the worst candidate I've ever seen and I remember Bob Dole and John Kerry.
Posted by: Blutarski at March 24, 2021 07:48 AM (nnf6G)

Because the election needed to be "close" in order to effectively steal it, and BaiDen was the least noxious of any of that freak parade. That it wasn't "close enough" is why they had to stop counts at 4am and do all the other bullshit they did to drag his carcass across the finish line.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:52 AM (NYS7S)

806 What I'll never understand is why they chose an obviously deteriorating Zhou Bi Den if they already knew they were going to steal a landslide.

**

The same reason they're going to charge people who walked between the velvet ropes in DC with sedition.

The people in charge - really in charge -WANT you to know they can put an elderly alheimers sufferer into the presidency, the same as they wanted you to know they killed Epstein in prison.

This is a form of politics as well. It sucks that America is here, but in hindsight we've been headed this direction since the 60s.

Posted by: Lysenko - Click here for COVID vaccination document, print on card stock at March 24, 2021 07:52 AM (ZLyax)

807 I wish Texas would secede. That would make it so much easier for us smaller state to follow suit.

Posted by: Blutarski at March 24, 2021 07:52 AM (nnf6G)

808 Aaaaaaaand... cue SEFTON!

Good morning, all.

Posted by: Doctor.Boom at March 24, 2021 07:52 AM (NYS7S)

809 Posted by: one of the quiet ones at March 24, 2021 07:46 AM (HeKhk)

I never claimed to understand this generation. But to me the name "Scary Mommy" is out of The Babylon Bee or some other type site. If you don't want to come off as scary, that might not be the best of names to have chosen.

Maybe the issue is how we define scary. From this post, I think I get the definition.

Posted by: Quint at March 24, 2021 07:53 AM (OgcCr)

810
I wish Texas would secede. That would make it so much easier for us smaller state to follow suit.

Posted by: Blutarski at March 24, 2021 07:52 AM (nnf6G)

even many decades ago there was an old wives tale that Texas had the right to split up into four or five different states. Considering all that is going on, they might want to wait a second and try it if needed.

Posted by: Quint at March 24, 2021 07:54 AM (OgcCr)

(Jump to top of page)






Processing 0.08, elapsed 0.0907 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.031 seconds, 818 records returned.
Page size 378 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.



MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat