Mid-Morning Art Thread [Kris]


Naked Man back view.jpg

Naked Man, Back View
Lucian Freud

Lucian Freud is the grandson of Sigmund, the psychoanalyst. Because of this connection, some have described the artist’s approach to portraiture as a type of aesthetic analysis of the figures make-up and structure. He was also concerned with the relationship of the form to the painting’s elements and unique traits. Freud was part of a group of artists who reintroduced traditional figurative art into a culture soaked in modernist abstraction. He took this rebellion against contemporary aesthetics and made a reputation out of it. His uppity-ness manifested in his younger years by being expelled from several schools and causing a fire in another. He fostered a relationship with the trend-setters and taste-dictators of his day and so was able to find a following.

In this work, it’s hard to pin down which elements are key. He seems to be drawing influences from several artists of early modernism, such as van Gogh and Cezanne. I also see a little of the Realists here, Courbet especially, and their insistence on an unromanticized depiction of the human body.

Freud presents a very large, nude male sitting on a white ottoman. His back is to us. His head is turned to the left so we see a little of his face, but not enough to identify him. He is posed over an orange shag carpet, in front of a white tarp or drape. The man’s form looks constructed, like a sculpture made of clay. I can almost imagine Freud slapping globs of clay on top of each other to create the basic form and them smoothing it out to form the back. This gives the underlying structure a lumpiness that would be expected from this type of physique. The overlying skin also looks constructed, but like a patchwork quilt of pigment laid over the clay to smooth it out.

The work’s perspective is very steep and sharp. This distorts the man’s form further. It stretches out his back, making him seem wider. It also seems to flatten him. Because of this steep perspective, this work is both three-dimensional and two-dimensional. The two perspectives clash with each other. Freud also uses opposing diagonals to further this tension. The leg of the man is pointed to the extreme upper right, but his face and eye-line point to the lower left. These contrasting lines and angles enhance the steep perspective, flattening the work even more.

For me, the orange rug and Pollock-like wall are very distracting. The rug seems uninteresting when compared to the patchwork of tones on the figure and tarp. In the figure, there is a careful application of tones and shades that meticulously molds the man’s entire form. These colors are warm. These pigments are repeated in the tarp but they are cooled and neutralized. Freud creates unity and distinction between these two areas. The rug, by contrast, seems out-of-place. The right wall even more so. This could be an attempt to enhance the theme of clashing and contrasting elements.

The entire center of this work is filled with a neo-traditional rendering of the most classical of images—the male nude, rendered in a color-scheme resembling aged marble or ivory. Freud then disrupts that visual with some of the most contemporary imagery—the drip-painting and a shag rug. The artist presents an image full of inner conflict, of calm and chaos. Perhaps this is where his family heritage is most observable.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 09:30 AM




Comments

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1 HAHAHA!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 09:30 AM (UWqZJ)

2 What did y'all do this time?

Posted by: Deep State 368 at April 01, 2020 09:30 AM (qLs5f)

3 On no you di-nt.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 01, 2020 09:31 AM (ZLI7S)

4 How inspiring.

Posted by: BignJames at April 01, 2020 09:31 AM (X/Pw5)

5 I'm really hoping this is just an April Fool's joke and the real art thread will be here soon.

Posted by: bluebell at April 01, 2020 09:31 AM (/669Q)

6 OH! No, that's not right, no...

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:31 AM (NWiLs)

7 ...ugh. the joke that just won't die.

Posted by: FrozenTech at April 01, 2020 09:31 AM (LGM1R)

8 Would not hang
Burn definitely

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 09:32 AM (BiNEL)

9
Not just "no!", but "oh, hells no!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 01, 2020 09:32 AM (pNxlR)

10 Why?

Posted by: seriously you guys at April 01, 2020 09:32 AM (bnQvx)

11 7 ...ugh. the joke that just won't die.
Posted by: FrozenTech at April 01, 2020 09:31 AM (LGM1R)

=========

We're full of 'em.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 09:32 AM (UWqZJ)

12 What, are we being punished for wandering off the pictured art well under 100 comments in recent days?!

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2020 09:32 AM (bDqIh)

13 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 01, 2020 09:32 AM (XVuno)

14 Sometimes, a buttock is a buttock

Posted by: Zombie Edith Wilson at April 01, 2020 09:32 AM (w9Wax)

15 I was wondering where nadler went

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (85Gof)

16 AAHHH MY EYES MY EYES!!!

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (V2Yro)

17 Kris be selling crack!

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (JFO2v)

18 *just a buttock

Posted by: Zombie Edith Wilson at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (w9Wax)

19 Obviously he is self quarantining!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (BiNEL)

20 Why don't you just come right down here and kiss my big, ol', white butt.

Posted by: Drink Like Ed Rooney at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (Hpfrx)

21 Ok...who put the maple syrup on the French toast?

Posted by: Euro at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (5VMww)

22 Not a good idea for a housewarming gift.

Posted by: Gref at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (AMIL/)

23 Hopefully I'll die of the Chinese virus today so I can forget seeing that.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (gIqgV)

24 Ugh

Posted by: Clyde Shelton at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (Do5/p)

25 My eyes!

Posted by: MKoepf at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (DfSI5)

26 Nope, too easy, I need a target that's a challenge.

Posted by: The Sniper at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (bDqIh)

27 Geez, it's April Fools day, not April Eye Bleach day.

Posted by: Scuba Dude at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (Oq/TM)

28 Whatta ass!

Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (cF8AT)

29 There IS a painting worse than the nekkid midget!

Posted by: dingbat at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (KylN9)

30 Why Kris why?

*sobs*

Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (G546f)

31 This is really blotto, man!

Posted by: stumck at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (w9Wax)

32 Tyson Fury on the Thunderjug.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (flINI)

33 I would have put a little church right -- oh, forget it.

Posted by: Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (XVuno)

34 Good Lord.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (g8Yc+)

35
So we traded away the Month of Zappa for a Month of Revolting Nudes?

Pass

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (pNxlR)

36 The art piece on the wall is about the only thing good to look at in this painting.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (lwiT4)

37 OK Lucien, I don't know if this is Freudian or Jungian, or whatever, but if you painted that, you're gay.

Posted by: Ted K. at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (xPYsj)

38 This hurts all of us, but most of all Kris, who was forced by CBD to write something about this piece, which none of us will actually read.

Posted by: bluebell at April 01, 2020 09:34 AM (/669Q)

39 YOU POSTED THIS SHIT BEFORE.
NO CHLORQUININE FOR YOU.

Posted by: getting the fed up banned puking AGAIN?? at April 01, 2020 09:35 AM (tPLB3)

40 Muldoon, save us!

Posted by: stumck at April 01, 2020 09:35 AM (w9Wax)

41 Such cruelty.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:35 AM (NWiLs)

42 Someone bitched.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 01, 2020 09:35 AM (wIb05)

43 Yoohoo, what about us?

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Q0bKNgIFO/

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2020 09:35 AM (bDqIh)

44 In fairness, way more artistic talent is reflected in those odious cheeks than in most modern art.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at April 01, 2020 09:35 AM (Hpfrx)

45 In the Butt Bob

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2naTw9y7zsE

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2020 09:35 AM (JFO2v)

46 Fat Ottoman Man is to the Art Thread what Frank Zappa is to the ONT.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 01, 2020 09:36 AM (XVuno)

47 Not the classic art to discuss with my mini Bob Ross today...

Posted by: Euro at April 01, 2020 09:36 AM (5VMww)

48
Fat Ottoman Man is to the Art Thread what Frank Zappa is to the ONT.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 01, 2020 09:36 AM (XVuno)


THIS

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (Nyx5N)

49 White, fat, and could be used as ottomans - and infinitely cuter!

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-UyaVKgKFj/

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (bDqIh)

50 FIRS........What the.......

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (Zz0t1)

51 Ugh. That's all we need.

*hurls*

Posted by: Nurse ratched at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (jVp7k)

52 46
Fat Ottoman Man is to the Art Thread what Frank Zappa is to the ONT.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 01, 2020 09:36 AM (XVuno)

Are you saying you want this once a week for a month?

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (VQp/A)

53 Okay ... where'd you hide the camera in my bathroom?

Posted by: Traveling Man&&&& at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (R5lpX)

54 I guess a somewhat serious art question - Was Lucien just trying to be provocative, or is there some legitimate point to this?

Posted by: Ted K. at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (xPYsj)

55 I'm sure Kris's lecture will be a hoot, but... um... considering the view... I have to go finish reading the Morning Report... have some more coffee first...

___

Prolly tol' this story b4 but... so, a half-century ago...

Art 100 in college. ("Art for science majors.") Learned little but had a great time playing with paint.

Had a nude model at one point, pretty young thing. Well, now, college is looking up, thought this young freshman. But, there was not much to her, art-wise. Then the Prof brought in a different nude model. Figure she'd lost at least a hundred pounds and was still... hefty. She was all wrinkles and folds in the most fascinating ways. Had a great time painting her. And was always glad she'd agreed to model.

Posted by: mindful webworker
radically inclined
at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (AoLFQ)

56 The infamous Naked Guy on Ottoman.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 01, 2020 09:37 AM (rpbg1)

57 Pretty good commentary Kris but it leaves one thing out that I think is important. What is the guy thinking about as the painting goes on. In the front view he looks like he's a bit unhappy with the situation.

Here it's hard to tell.*
I aplogize for the snark free comment. I'll try to keep those to a minimum.

Posted by: Sam, again at April 01, 2020 09:38 AM (/LQkF)

58 Where's that fishtank cleaner...

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:38 AM (NWiLs)

59 This fella is the Chris Angel of the fat male model world

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 01, 2020 09:38 AM (flINI)

60 Mebbee we could has Frank Zappa album art?

Posted by: Euro at April 01, 2020 09:38 AM (5VMww)

61 The artist presents an image full of inner conflict, of calm and chaos. Perhaps this is where his family heritage is most observable.


Or.....

...or, something a gross, old, flabby butt is just a gross, old, flabby butt.


Posted by: Zombie Sigmund Freud at April 01, 2020 09:38 AM (z0XD8)

62 Makes Thomas Eakins' obsession with male nudes look tame.

Posted by: Basement Cat at April 01, 2020 09:38 AM (pPNCa)

63 I like it.

Posted by: Chris Matthews at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (y3cH7)

64 Well, at least we don't see the skidmark on the ottoman.

Posted by: WeBoned! at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (8k7U7)

65 >>Fat Ottoman Man is to the Art Thread what Frank Zappa is to the ONT


Ya sure about that?

Posted by: YOKO ONO at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (bDqIh)

66 Friendly reminder and distraction from this hideous garbage:

https://youtu.be/L3tnH4FGbd0

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (Zz0t1)

67 as David Lee Roth said on Ice Cream Man "Dedicate one to the Ladies" HAHA

Posted by: WuHAN Solo at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (DDgIo)

68 Wakes up
Scratches
Looks around
Dang. I mean...just...Dang!
Goes looking for coffee.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (axyOa)

69 Better the back than the front (shudder), I guess.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (Exv3s)

70 Oh, Kris! This is so meta.

I had never noticed the Jackson Pollack on the wall, I never really looked at it long enough.

You're right about the lumpiness. I think that's what makes it disturbing. There's nothing wrong with it being a naked man, even a large one, but he's lumpy and the skin tone is weird and it ends up just being creepy.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (gd9RK)

71 Ok, let's just paint a happy little ass right here.

Posted by: Drink Like Bob Ross at April 01, 2020 09:40 AM (Hpfrx)

72 >>The artist presents an image full of inner conflict, of calm and chaos. Perhaps this is where his family heritage is most observable.


For sure! Now let's take a peek at my naked toilet selfies in the first scene of the first episode of "Girls" and then review my daddy's art. . .

Posted by: Lena Dunham at April 01, 2020 09:40 AM (bDqIh)

73 Just looking at the painters entire body of work reveals.


A. He's primarily a portraitist


B. Does not know how to or does not care about blending.


C. Didn't study perspective, at all.

Posted by: Digging Deeper at April 01, 2020 09:40 AM (FVrDO)

74 It's April Fools Day and we're blowing 'em out!!!

Posted by: Crazy Hakkim's Ottoman Empire at April 01, 2020 09:41 AM (XVuno)

75 My eyes!
Please buddy do not turn around.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at April 01, 2020 09:41 AM (Se2s/)

76 Unable to ever get up again, his skin grew attached to the ottoman and the fire department had to cut a hole in the house to retrive the patient furniture and all.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at April 01, 2020 09:41 AM (8JqLB)

77 LOL

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:41 AM (VQp/A)

78 But seriously, I did read Kris's educated commentary. A question...are we sure it was Freud set fire to the school??.

Posted by: Euro at April 01, 2020 09:41 AM (5VMww)

79 100 comments...no problem on this painting!

Posted by: dingbat at April 01, 2020 09:42 AM (KylN9)

80 A little something for the ladies, eh Kris?

Posted by: cornbred at April 01, 2020 09:42 AM (A751K)

81 >>Just looking at the painters entire body of work reveals.


It's his mom's fault. . .

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2020 09:42 AM (bDqIh)

82 78
But seriously, I did read Kris's educated commentary. A question...are we sure it was Freud set fire to the school??.

Posted by: Euro at April 01, 2020 09:41 AM (5VMww)

My source said he was suspected of doing so, but it didn't say if it was intentional or accidental. I have no idea either way.

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:43 AM (VQp/A)

83 Front view shows him juicing roids.

Posted by: Citizen of Bureaustan at April 01, 2020 09:43 AM (ldmQR)

84 Not exactly my idea of art

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 09:43 AM (ZCEU2)

85 80
A little something for the ladies, eh Kris?

Posted by: cornbred at April 01, 2020 09:42 AM (A751K)

What can I say? I'm a giver.

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:44 AM (VQp/A)

86 Kris - did we offend you somehow?

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 01, 2020 09:44 AM (N39Ws)

87 I gotta admit, the rug looks very realistic.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (rpbg1)

88 Pale. Sallow. Disgusting.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (NWiLs)

89 I think that's the same carpet that my dad bought for the late-'70's remodel of the old part of his house.

Posted by: ptschett at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (zB+vL)

90 CBD has been cruel before, but this....this violates the "cruel and unusual" clause.

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (Zz0t1)

91 Not a fan of the subject matter. It's interesting, and all the layers of meaning that Kris found make it even moreso, but it still gets a "Would Not Hang" from me.

Except maybe in the guest room, to encourage guests to leave sooner.

Posted by: Cato, Collectivism Delenda Est at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (J+mig)

92 89 I think that's the same carpet that my dad bought for the late-'70's remodel of the old part of his house.
Posted by: ptschett at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (zB+vL)

Some things are timeless.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (NWiLs)

93 Megan McCain?

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (Zz0t1)

94 It's a painting of a Terminator preparing to go through the time portal. The Machines used Michael Moore as their human model.

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (CCNCh)

95 I know it's April Fool's Day, but jeebus.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (ptqGC)

96 Gonna leave a skid mark

Posted by: Blacksheep at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (6mvRv)

97 Naked Ottoman Guy returns.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Quarantine Special - Free Delivery of Lockdown Laments from The Outrage Outlet! at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (jWElI)

98 The racing stripe on that ottoman will be epic.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (NWiLs)

99 What can I say? I'm a giver.
Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:44 AM (VQp/A)


That's not the word I'd use.....

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (Zz0t1)

100 WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!?

Posted by: Brother Cavil Tim at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (CUU+W)

101
THAT IS GROTESQUE
SHAME!

Posted by: DB- just DB, under house arrest at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (iTXRQ)

102 Kris, I thoroughly enjoyed your analysis of the painting. The painting, not so much.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (yqtSc)

103 Some biddy on Nextdoor is offering that ottoman for $100. As is.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (ptqGC)

104 No Brian Stelter jokes in the first 100? Shame on you people.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (TLxpZ)

105 (Though really, did anyone expect better today?)

Posted by: Brother Cavil Tim at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (CUU+W)

106 Although I continue to come into the office each and every freaking day, because, somehow I'm essential to my company, some of my team is working from home. Now I'm associating this image mentally with them. ewwwww.

Posted by: Archer at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (gmo/4)

107 Not exactly my idea of art
Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 09:43 AM (ZCEU2)


Fart, on the other hand......

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (Zz0t1)

108 88
Pale. Sallow. Disgusting.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:45 AM (NWiLs)


https://youtu.be/GAPbZDit5_w

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (VQp/A)

109 This is the second part of the plague right?

So 1) World Wide Virus, 2) Naked Furniture Guy, 3) ????

Posted by: banana Dream at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (l6b3d)

110 John McCain, naked.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (ptqGC)

111 Stelter? I didn't even know her.

Posted by: stumck at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (w9Wax)

112 Hospital staff's nightmare. Can you imagine having to hoist that whale onto a stretcher, gurney, or OR table?

Posted by: Basement Cat at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (pPNCa)

113 Bathroom art for sure

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (ZCEU2)

114 In this work, it's hard to pin down which elements are key.




The key element is it's bad. It's bad art that's badly done.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (Nyx5N)

115 Better than McStain, Soros

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (ZCEU2)

116 John McCain, naked.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (ptqGC)


Someone HAD TO ASK where Jerry Nadler was in the last thread.......

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (Zz0t1)

117 Harvey, is that you?!

Posted by: LadyDi at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (78k3F)

118 The head is technically very well done.

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (CCNCh)

119 I've never wanted to go OT more than now.

Posted by: WeBoned! at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (8k7U7)

120 Something tells me OregonMuse is going to hit us with April Fool Who Dis? images in his Morning Rant.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (rpbg1)

121 Hey Kris- don't you usually talk about where the viewer's eye is drawn within a painting? Well I'll tell you this:


Sometimes You Stare Into The Chasm - a limerick

There once was a fat man named Doug
A lovable chubby old mug
But he eschewed pants
For a stark naked dance
Saying, "Crack is a helluva drug!"

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (m45I2)

122 Over 100?

Good.

*plays fanfare*

I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

123 I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac



AWESOME!!!!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (W2taJ)

124 I was lost, confused, and hurt... and then I remembered the date.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (Ibwur)

125 No, it's not me! That chick is white! Racists!

Posted by: Yamiche Alcindor at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (xPYsj)

126 I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)


DUDE!!!!!

CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (Zz0t1)

127 Kids in the Hall, I think, had a skit of a guy who keeps giggling as he hands out his report at a meeting. Finally someone yells, "DID YOU TYPE THIS NAKED AGAIN?!?"

Posted by: Citizen of Bureaustan at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (ldmQR)

128 It took a global pandemic for Insom to land a job.......

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (Zz0t1)

129 Last 6 approval polls for OrangeManBad

48, 48, 49, 48, 47, 50

He won in 2016 with 46%.

Posted by: Hotgas VIP Member at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (RA3PP)

130 I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac

Nude furniture model?

Posted by: banana Dream at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (l6b3d)

131 Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)


WOOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!
Seriously great news!


Posted by: Archer at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (gmo/4)

132 123
I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I

HAVE

LANDED

A

JOB!!!!

Posted by: Insomniac


*looks at April 1 on calendar* Yay?



Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (ptqGC)

133 NEW DATE FOR NOVAMOME: AUGUST 29!

We have updated the webpage and will be sending an email to all registrants today. Keep an eye on the email you used to contact us for info, which may or may not be an email you check regularly.

It feels wrong to post this good news under this disgusting picture, but it is what it is.

Posted by: bluebell at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (/669Q)

134 121
Hey Kris- don't you usually talk about where the viewer's eye is drawn within a painting? Well I'll tell you this:





Sometimes You Stare Into The Chasm - a limerick



There once was a fat man named Doug

A lovable chubby old mug

But he eschewed pants

For a stark naked dance

Saying, "Crack is a helluva drug!"

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (m45I2)

LOL

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (VQp/A)

135 Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)
-----
Woohoo!

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (g8Yc+)

136 Well, CBD now knows the secret to keeping commentary on topic for at least 100 comments, so expect more of this in the future.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (CAJOC)

137 I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I

HAVE

LANDED

A

JOB!!!!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)



NO WAY!!

Posted by: grammie winger at April 01, 2020 09:50 AM (lwiT4)

138 I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)


Problem with this place and it being April 1st - don't know if this is real. If it is please accept my congratulations. If not you may commence with mocking my gullibility.

Posted by: moon_over_vermont at April 01, 2020 09:51 AM (1dJNh)

139 Well, that's in my mind now. Thanks.

Posted by: Evil Otto at April 01, 2020 09:51 AM (AutUY)

140
Harvey's Cell
-Lucian Freud

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 09:51 AM (Ibwur)

141 Ottoman man is carrying this work from home stuff a little too far. Hate to have him join a zoom meeting.

Posted by: Donny Brook at April 01, 2020 09:51 AM (J9A97)

142 There's nothing wrong with it being a naked man,
even a large one, but he's lumpy and the skin tone is weird and it ends
up just being creepy.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2020 09:39 AM (gd9RK)

I admit to a certain fascination with this artist, and as you may recall when I first posted this work (seriously, not as an April Fools goof) I said that it seems as if the artist doesn't like people very much.

I think that "lumpiness," which is common in his work, is a signal of what he sees inside us all.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2020 09:51 AM (dLLD6)

143 Insomniac! Congratulations! What wonderful news!

Posted by: bluebell at April 01, 2020 09:51 AM (/669Q)

144 Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)


That's an amazing accomplishment at this moment in history.

Posted by: jwest at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (mrrpT)

145 Blah blah blah. That's a lot of words for an obscene piece of work.

Here, lemme psychoanalyze this thing: Artist is angry and hurt. Lashes out. Probably blames his mother.

There, done.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (hku12)

146 What. The. Hell? What did you people do? Why are we being punished/ assaulted with THAT?

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (myjNJ)

147 Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

Sounds like things are looking up. Congrats.

Posted by: Cato, Collectivism Delenda Est at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (J+mig)

148 Lucian Freud is the grandson of Sigmund, the psychoanalyst.

-
Old and busted: Oedipal complex

New hotness: Barney Frank simplex

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (+y/Ru)

149 You can tell the artist did not paint this in one go.

There are good elements.

The flesh is rendered well.

The carpet is also rendered well.

There are parts of the ottoman that are quite good.

But all of the perspectives are wrong and mismatched.


He looks like he's sitting on an ottoman that is on a carpeted box because the shadows on the right side of the carpet increase the further right and down you go.

Posted by: Digging Deeper at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (FVrDO)

150 I hope your news is real, Insom! Congrats!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (ptqGC)

151
great write up btw

what I take from this painting is how alike and colorless the texture of the flesh, the sheet, and the ottoman

it dehumanizes and at the same time makes the subjr pathetic

Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (G546f)

152 122 Over 100?

Good.

*plays fanfare*

I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

=========

Yay!

Full time and everything?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (UWqZJ)

153 Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

Great news, Insom! Congratulations!

Posted by: cornbred at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (A751K)

154 I said that it seems as if the artist doesn't like people very much.

He makes social distancing look easy.

Posted by: Basement Cat at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (pPNCa)

155 Good news Insom!

And that art has GOT to be April One related somehow

Posted by: zeera at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (zUdXR)

156 INSOMNIAC WOOT WOOT WOOT!!!!!!

Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 09:52 AM (G546f)

157 I think that "lumpiness," which is common in his work, is a signal of what he sees inside us all.


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2020 09:51 AM (dLLD6)


Lumpiness is what I'm going to get if I continue all this stress-eating.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 01, 2020 09:53 AM (lwiT4)

158 Congratulations to Insom!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 01, 2020 09:53 AM (rpbg1)

159 Prediction: OM gives us Yoko as "Who's Dis?"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 09:53 AM (ptqGC)

160 Piano legs half off!!

Posted by: Totie Fields at April 01, 2020 09:53 AM (os8Cf)

161 I admit to a certain fascination with this artist, and as you may recall when I first posted this work (seriously, not as an April Fools goof) I said that it seems as if the artist doesn't like people very much.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2020 09:51 AM (dLLD6)
--------

I remember that. And I also remember what my comment was: "It seems as if CBD doesn't like us very much."

Posted by: bluebell at April 01, 2020 09:53 AM (/669Q)

162 Kris - remember that nice stuff I said about how well you explain art and how much I appreciate it ?

Lies. All lies.

Posted by: I Am No One at April 01, 2020 09:53 AM (uOouc)

163 107
Not exactly my idea of art

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 09:43 AM (ZCEU2)



Fart, on the other hand......

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (Zz0t1)

Fart art...https://tinyurl.com/qxsxkvr

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:53 AM (VQp/A)

164 Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

Congrats.

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (BAsqb)

165 INSOM

You da man!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (BiNEL)

166 Insom... are you gonna be lawyerin and shit?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (8JqLB)

167 Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald
Look what a pathological liar @JoeNBC is. Today he said about the coronavirus pandemic in the US:

"Everybody saw this coming in early January."

Number of @JoeNBC tweets in January by topic:

Impeachment - 29
Election - 11
Sports - 7
Coronavirus - 0

Posted by: WuHAN Solo at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (DDgIo)

168 Dude, try some pants, will ya?

Posted by: Otto, man at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (bDqIh)

169 Last 6 approval polls for OrangeManBad

Such a backfire. The media have turned Donald Trump into the only show on television. That's a chink in the Invisible Enemy's armor- they must remain invisible.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (jyVW0)

170 Sometimes You Stare Into The Chasm - a limerick

There once was a fat man named Doug
A lovable chubby old mug
But he eschewed pants
For a stark naked dance
Saying, "Crack is a helluva drug!"
Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (m45I2)

You, sir, are an artist.

Posted by: Cato, Collectivism Delenda Est at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (J+mig)

171 Insom - will you still be posting here, or do you have to work at work?

Posted by: grammie winger at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (lwiT4)

172 Ok...who put the maple syrup on the French toast?
Posted by: Euro at April 01, 2020 09:33 AM (5VMww)


Sheepishly raises hand.. and dammit, I'll do it again, with peanut butter too.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&&& at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (R5lpX)

173 All you hot shots out there, Insomniac's spot on the Wall of Shame may be opening up. You, too, can be a mega poster!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (+y/Ru)

174 Congratulations, Insomniac ! Good luck to you. That is very impressive.

Posted by: runner at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (zr5Kq)

175 And since we're past 100, I can post THIS. Happy April 1st, all!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joed0P3hhbc

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (BAsqb)

176 I missed this the first time. Wish I'd missed it this time. Off to scour my eyeballs.

Posted by: FrodoB,
not the rider
of the white otter, man at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (dQF3z)

177 Such a backfire. The media have turned Donald Trump
into the only show on television. That's a chink in the Invisible
Enemy's armor- they must remain invisible.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (jyVW0)


ISWYDT

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (Nyx5N)

178 Why? Why would you do this??

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (l2bVb)

179 Suddenly, I realize Jane may be right......

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (Zz0t1)

180 All you hot shots out there, Insomniac's spot on the Wall of Shame may be opening up. You, too, can be a mega poster!



*tell me about it....

Posted by: runner at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (zr5Kq)

181 I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I

HAVE

LANDED

A

JOB!!!!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)
*******
well if True CONGRATS

Posted by: WuHAN Solo at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (DDgIo)

182 Texas is now closed.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (ZLI7S)

183 If posting this abhorrent painting was counterbalanced by Insom getting a job, I am willing to have a few more paintings like this appear!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (BiNEL)

184 INSOMNIAC THATS FKIN AWESOME,!

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (ZCEU2)

185 Heh. Alcohol sales up 55% since the Rona business started. Lots of work from home while drunk it seems.

Posted by: Hotgas VIP Member at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (RA3PP)

186 Woot! Awesome news, Insom! Been a long time coming...

Posted by: Brother Cavil Tim at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (CUU+W)

187 Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

---------

Congratulations to Insom!

I propose that, by acclamation, we resolve that Insom takes home today's art piece to add to his permanent collection.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (XVuno)

188 I was curious to see who would initially think my announcement was an April Fool's joke. You people are now on The List. Seriously - this is absolutely 100% for real. Full time, great law firm, solid pay and benefits, and directly in my wheelhouse of expertise and experience. I'm as stoked as stoked can be!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (NWiLs)

189 WOOHOO, Insom!!!

Congratulations!

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (bDqIh)

190 Congrats Insom, glad you persevered.

Posted by: WeBoned! at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (8k7U7)

191 Congrats Insom!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (axyOa)

192 Texas is now closed.
Posted by: JackStraw



We've been trying to tell Californians that for years.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (W2taJ)

193 I propose that, by acclamation, we resolve that Insom takes home today's art piece to add to his permanent collection.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (XVuno)

Why do you seek to punish me so viciously?

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:57 AM (NWiLs)

194 I was curious to see who would initially think my
announcement was an April Fool's joke. You people are now on The List.
Seriously - this is absolutely 100% for real. Full time, great law firm,
solid pay and benefits, and directly in my wheelhouse of expertise and
experience. I'm as stoked as stoked can be!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (NWiLs)


NOW GET TO WORK DAMMIT!!!!!!


Posted by: Archer at April 01, 2020 09:57 AM (gmo/4)

195 I'm as stoked as stoked can be!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (NWiLs)



I'm so very very happy for you.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 01, 2020 09:57 AM (lwiT4)

196 Congrats on the new gig, Insom!!

Go you!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 09:57 AM (l2bVb)

197 Texas is now closed.
Posted by: JackStraw


Moose out front tried to tell us, but nobody can hear it straight through that mask.

Posted by: Brother Cavil Tim at April 01, 2020 09:57 AM (CUU+W)

198 181 I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I

HAVE

LANDED

A

JOB!!!!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)
*******
well if True CONGRATS
Posted by: WuHAN Solo at April 01, 2020 09:55 AM (DDgIo)

-------------------------------

On the one hand, April 1st.

On the other hand, April 1st is the best day to announce big news, precisely because it is April Fool's Day. My wife and I announced she was pregnant on April 1st many years ago.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 01, 2020 09:57 AM (CAJOC)

199 I was curious to see who would initially think my announcement was an April Fool's joke. You people are now on The List. Seriously - this is absolutely 100% for real. Full time, great law firm, solid pay and benefits, and directly in my wheelhouse of expertise and experience. I'm as stoked as stoked can be!
Posted by: Insomniac


Go back and look who congratulated you first with no reservations. That's awesome!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 09:57 AM (W2taJ)

200 Alister Crowley in his natural state.

Posted by: azalea city at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (WX+x0)

201 the alleged art: no redeeming social value whatsoever


INSOM-
well done on landing the job. One question: what the hell you doin' fooling around on the internet? Get To Work!

Posted by: DB- just DB, under house arrest at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (iTXRQ)

202 I was curious to see who would initially think my announcement was an April Fool's joke. You people are now on The List. Seriously - this is absolutely 100% for real. Full time, great law firm, solid pay and benefits, and directly in my wheelhouse of expertise and experience. I'm as stoked as stoked can be!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020


*
*

About time some firm realized your value, boy.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (rpbg1)

203 Congrats insom.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy The ChiComTerrorVirus is in the house! at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (dNzKv)

204 163 107
Not exactly my idea of art

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 09:43 AM (ZCEU2)



Fart, on the other hand......

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (Zz0t1)

Fart art...https://tinyurl.com/qxsxkvr
Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 09:53 AM (VQp/A)

--------------

I never knew the Chinese invented Pork N Beans.

Posted by: cornbred at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (A751K)

205 I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I

HAVE

LANDED

A

JOB!!!!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM


Woo Hoo!!!

Most cromulent news, brother Insom.

I'd raise a glass or three but the current 7 day workweek discourages that.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (ejd/p)

206 And now we know what Stelter poses for art classes as a model in his free time.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (e284m)

207 Aint that the switch, Insomniac gets a job and 6 million other Americans are sitting home.

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 09:59 AM (ZCEU2)

208 171 Insom - will you still be posting here, or do you have to work at work?
Posted by: grammie winger at April 01, 2020 09:54 AM (lwiT4)

I'll be around, but no mistake, I'll be working at work. At very happy to do so. Lawyerin' is time-consuming!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:59 AM (NWiLs)

209 I actually like the title of today's limerick better than the actual limerick.

I amuse myself.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 09:59 AM (m45I2)

210 Horde, Black Rifle Coffee is still shipping (don't know if their store here is still open). And they're stepping up to help military facilities and personnel (including retired) during Bat Soup Lung AIDS:

https://tinyurl.com/r3v2g96

They're good people, and their coffee is great.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 09:59 AM (ptqGC)

211 Aint that the switch, Insomniac gets a job and 6 million other Americans are sitting home.
Posted by: Skip


Somebody had to pick up the slack.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 09:59 AM (W2taJ)

212 I feel like this is almost entirely a commentary on Pollock.

Posted by: Zelda at April 01, 2020 09:59 AM (Lu8tI)

213
206 And now we know what Stelter poses for art classes as a model in his free time.
Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (e284m)


Would you like to know what's happening on the other side?

Posted by: Drive-by Brian Stelter at April 01, 2020 10:00 AM (l2bVb)

214 So, is the painting/tapestry on the wall falling to pieces? I gotta look somewhere other than that butt.

Posted by: FrodoB,
not the rider
of the white otter, man at April 01, 2020 10:00 AM (dQF3z)

215 Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! PLease, nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!


* pours bleach in eyes*

Posted by: dantesed at April 01, 2020 10:00 AM (88xKn)

216 well. Isn't that titillating.

Who wouldn't want that hanging in their living room, right along with velvet Elvis and dogs playing poker.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 01, 2020 10:00 AM (o2MD2)

217 I'll be around, but no mistake, I'll be working at work. At very happy to do so. Lawyerin' is time-consuming!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:59 AM (NWiLs)


I am so very, very, very happy for you! {{{socially distanced hugs}}}

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:00 AM (ptqGC)

218 And, Kris....

That was not a nice thing you did to teh Horde.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2020 10:00 AM (ejd/p)

219 well done on landing the job. One question: what the hell you doin' fooling around on the internet? Get To Work!
Posted by: DB- just DB, under house arrest at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (iTXRQ)

Heh. Haven't started yet but will be soon. Start date is a little later this month.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:01 AM (NWiLs)

220 Ottoman looking for where he thought he hid the last roll of TP from the rest of the family.

Posted by: BluesFish at April 01, 2020 10:01 AM (WQZ1O)

221 I HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac


******

In related news, AOSHQ announces an opening of the Wall of Shame.


Long time coming Insom- congrats

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 10:01 AM (m45I2)

222 Jimmy Hoover@JimmyHooverDC
Justice Ginsburg's trainer told me that he and the 87-year-old are still doing their workout sessions at the Supreme Court's private gym, while taking precautions. "The only reason why I didn't shut the justice down is because, hey, she ain't having it."

-
I don't know if this is an April Fools joke or not. The Iron Woman competition is coming up.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 01, 2020 10:01 AM (+y/Ru)

223 122
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

Insom -Awesome news brother. Congrats. I know it has been a long haul for you and the Horde has been pulling praying for you. Well done!!!

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (N39Ws)

224 Congrats Insom!!

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (q1Pj5)

225 It's no Rothko.

Posted by: JAS at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (2BZBZ)

226 I was curious to see who would initially think my announcement was an April Fool's joke. You people are now on The List. Seriously - this is absolutely 100% for real. Full time, great law firm, solid pay and benefits, and directly in my wheelhouse of expertise and experience. I'm as stoked as stoked can be!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:56 AM (NWiLs)


Good to hear. I'm glad it wasn't a joke.

I didn't even realize the date until people started commenting on this painting, but this is probably the best news I'm gong to hear today.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (hku12)

227 And - congrats, insom. Now get out there and social distance. Me, I retired as of this week, so...

Posted by: FrodoB,
not the rider
of the white otter, man at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (dQF3z)

228 insomniac, kudos.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (o2MD2)

229 Kris -- fantastically interesting! I'm going back to re-read commentary and comments. But, where is this hung? private collection?

Posted by: sinmi at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (A5IVt)

230 Good deal Insom, congrats.

Now, as part 2 of your nefarious plan to be employed, go forth and take the place over.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (e284m)

231 222 Jimmy Hoover@JimmyHooverDC
Justice Ginsburg's trainer told me that he and the 87-year-old are still doing their workout sessions at the Supreme Court's private gym, while taking precautions. "The only reason why I didn't shut the justice down is because, hey, she ain't having it."

-
I don't know if this is an April Fools joke or not. The Iron Woman competition is coming up.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 01, 2020 10:01 AM (+y/Ru)


Fool me once...

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (l2bVb)

232 Shoulda seen it coming...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (Q8c/L)

233 Thank you, everyone. It's been a very long haul, and you've been extremely supportive as I was going through the long and miserable slog. You're a fine bunch of reprobates, no matter what they say!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (NWiLs)

234 I guess it's "art". Ugly as shit.. but there you go..

And this is not the first time we've been graced with one of Freud's masterpieces. I think once woulda been enough?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (CjFDo)

235 May be just me but my state (and our neighboring state) are both closed. Yet essential businesses are open. Some essential industries? Weed stores, liquor stores, car dealerships. Its kind of a joke.

Posted by: Hotgas VIP Member at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (RA3PP)

236 I picked the wrong day to check on the Art Thread.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (sX1BW)

237 233 Thank you, everyone. It's been a very long haul, and you've been extremely supportive as I was going through the long and miserable slog. You're a fine bunch of reprobates, no matter what they say!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (NWiLs)


Who says that? Someone call Bluebell.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (l2bVb)

238 Nice painting.
Might I suggest a lovely work called
"Drunken Silenus" by Jusepe de Ribera.

Posted by: Glenn John at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (NbLHb)

239 -
Clerk: Hello ma'am. Thanks for bringing this lovely ottoman to Johnson's Antique Furnishings. May I ask why you want to sell it?

Lady: A fat man sat on it.

Clerk: Oh, so it's broken?

Lady: No, no. I just really, really, really don't want it anymore.


Posted by: irright at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (RVcmP)

240 >In related news, AOSHQ announces an opening of the Wall of Shame.



hey so can anybody be on the Wall Of Shame, or do you have to get nominated, like a secret club or something?

Posted by: DB- just DB, under house arrest at April 01, 2020 10:04 AM (iTXRQ)

241 The guy did a lot of work over the years. His site has pictures from the 30's to the 2000's. He seems to reject the idea of beauty. Happiness was not for him.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:04 AM (EYsyU)

242 No one informed me it would Rick Wilson pron day.

Posted by: theATL at April 01, 2020 10:04 AM (TwFHr)

243 You're a fine bunch of reprobates, no matter what they say!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:03 AM (NWiLs)

There hasn't been a fine reprobate in my family in 5 generations.

Oh, the shame.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:04 AM (e284m)

244 This art is mindful of the horrific visual of your dog dragging his ass across your new carpet.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 01, 2020 10:05 AM (o2MD2)

245 Insomniac, that is the best news I have heard in a long time! Congratulations! As a fellow lawyer who has also had their ass kicked employment wise many times, I am so happy for you. Landing a job you really want is one of the best feelings in the world.

Posted by: Goldilocks at April 01, 2020 10:05 AM (zz1sH)

246 dantesed watch it, that stuff is in short suppy

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 10:05 AM (ZCEU2)

247 Airin' the boys out over here, boss!

Posted by: Fat Ottoman Man at April 01, 2020 10:05 AM (q1Pj5)

248 Oh I see. At the Met (MMA).

Posted by: sinmi at April 01, 2020 10:05 AM (A5IVt)

249 Congrats insom!

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at April 01, 2020 10:06 AM (myjNJ)

250 Is that a painting of Mega McCian with her wig off?

Because if it is, congratulations on her weight loss.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at April 01, 2020 10:06 AM (pw+jk)

251 Murderin' Joe:

@JoeNBC

The politicians, talk show hosts, and doctors who pushed Hydroxychloroquine as a miracle cure before knowing the truth are demagogues, hucksters and quacks. Listen to Dr. Fauci and stop embarrassing yourself until we know more. You are a danger to the public's health.


(He tweeted this right after having "Doctor" Zeke Emmanuel on his show, for the second time this week.)

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:06 AM (ptqGC)

252
Lucien banged 1000s of broads & had least 12 illegitimate kids.

Then there was Augustus Johns who banged even more broads & was rumored to have a 100 illegitimate kids.

And last but not least was a artist whose name escapes me. Early 20th century. Woodblock prints & sculpture some that decorate bldgs in London including the BBC building. Beautiful work. He banged his sisters, his daughters, the maids & the poor family dog.

Something must be in the water over there or in the paint.

Posted by: MHK at April 01, 2020 10:06 AM (iQIUe)

253 So, is this like the Naked Guy at Berkley?

Only much much fuglier?

Yeah, I agree, sell that ottoman - maybe to an Ottoman.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:06 AM (e284m)

254 229
Kris -- fantastically interesting! I'm going back to re-read commentary
and comments. But, where is this hung? private collection?



Posted by: sinmi at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (A5IVt)
I don't know. Maybe CBD knows?

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:07 AM (VQp/A)

255 Is that a painting of Mega McCian with her wig off?

Now, now. She's preggers.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:07 AM (ptqGC)

256 There hasn't been a fine reprobate in my family in 5 generations.

Oh, the shame.
Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:04 AM (e284m)
-----
My uncle had a problem with his probate, and he hadda drink a lot of water and take pills that were thiiiiiiiiiis big!

Posted by: Roger Rabbit at April 01, 2020 10:07 AM (g8Yc+)

257 238 Nice painting.
Might I suggest a lovely work called

"Into the world came a thing named ida".
Saw it in elementary school art book, burned into my hippocampus. Never saw it since but so repulsive will not google it. Well over 29 too.

Posted by: getting the banned back beret, smock and pallette at April 01, 2020 10:07 AM (os8Cf)

258 This hung over Desmond Napoles' nursery bed, until his mother "graduated" him to Mapplethorpe and Tom of Finland.

Posted by: North of the Captain's Porthole at April 01, 2020 10:07 AM (wwxHT)

259 Might I suggest a lovely work called
"Drunken Silenus" by Jusepe de Ribera.


*********

We've had that one. Even did a limerick.

From the archives:

Drunken Entourage - a limerick

We Satyrs supporting Silenus
Are propping him up in between us
The flautist is tooting
The Cupids "Woot-wooting"
While Pan sneaks a peek at his penis

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 10:07 AM (m45I2)

260 I said that it seems as if the artist doesn't like people very much.

I think that "lumpiness," which is common in his work, is a signal of what he sees inside us all.



That's a good analysis. I wasn't familiar with the rest of his work so I just went and looked.

He doesn't like people and that includes himself. Still interesting, especially with the family connection. I thought that was just a name, I didn't know they were related. That has to be a burden to carry.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2020 10:07 AM (gd9RK)

261 @JoeNBC

The politicians, talk show hosts, and doctors who pushed Hydroxychloroquine as a miracle cure before knowing the truth are demagogues, hucksters and quacks. Listen to Dr. Fauci and stop embarrassing yourself until we know more. You are a danger to the public's health.


(He tweeted this right after having "Doctor" Zeke Emmanuel on his show, for the second time this week.)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:06 AM (ptqGC)


File away in "takes one to know one?"

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (Zz0t1)

262 A boatload of congrats to you, Insom!

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (di1hb)

263 Insom, what if they find out you really didn't graduate from Harvard Law?

Posted by: stumck at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (w9Wax)

264 @FOX2now 47 seconds ago

Starting Friday, Costco will allow no more than two people to enter any of its warehouses with each membership card.

TWO?!

Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (cF8AT)

265 Well, great. One of my coworkers just saw me with that picture on my screen.

Posted by: George Kaplan at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (m0Jw9)

266 But, where is this hung? private collection?

Posted by: sinmi at April 01, 2020 10:02 AM (A5IVt)

The Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC, but I don't think it is in display now.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (dLLD6)

267 If I reprobate, will I grow hair on my palms?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (KxVoZ)

268 Now, now. She's preggers.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:07 AM (ptqGC)

Five bucks says she names the kid John

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (BAsqb)

269 "Yes, I think today, I shall paint a picture....of a naked fat man.....butt stamping an Ottoman.
I'll be famous! I'll make millions!"


At least he painted it back to so we don't have any chance of seeing his "happy little dick".

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (e284m)

270 The Nextdoor scolds here want our Publix to only allow six people at a time to enter the store.



Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (ptqGC)

271 Big congrats to you Insom on your impending employment! I couldn't be happier for you!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (Q8c/L)

272 Kris -- fantastically interesting! I'm going back to re-read commentary and comments. But, where is this hung? private collection?

--------

I doubt that he's hung anywhere.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (XVuno)

273 Starting Friday, Costco will allow no more than two people to enter any of its warehouses with each membership card.

TWO?!

-------------

Per membership card.

Just seems like a way for them to sell more membership cards.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (sX1BW)

274 {{Insomniac}}.. so happy for you! Congrats!

Posted by: Jewells45 at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (dUJdY)

275 Another example of You Can't Make This Stuff Up -

The name of one of NBC's White House Correspondents is Shannon Pettypiece.

(appears to be female)

Posted by: Gref at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (AMIL/)

276 Good. God. His Benefits Supervisor Sleeping:

https://bit.ly/2w9f3Se

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (xSo9G)

277 Just look at all that white privilege! Why, it's oozing all over that ottoman.

Posted by: MaCrack at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (0dmP2)

278 Insomniac!

So very happy for you! What wonderful news.

Posted by: IrishEi at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (sGotD)

279 Five bucks says she names the kid John

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (BAsqb)


John McCain Domenech or Jennifer McCain Domenech.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:10 AM (ptqGC)

280 Maybe Costco is trying to prevent people from bringing all their kids with them. If so, then I approve and take back my .

Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 10:10 AM (cF8AT)

281 Starting Friday, Costco will allow no more than two people to enter any of its warehouses with each membership card.

Goodbye Costco. We hardly knew you.

At least around here - I'm pretty sure Best Buy went to ten because they would never notice the difference.

Posted by: I Am No One at April 01, 2020 10:10 AM (uOouc)

282 Congrats Insomnia.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 01, 2020 10:10 AM (ZLI7S)

283 Starting Friday, Costco will allow no more than two people to enter any of its warehouses with each membership card.

TWO?!

Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (cF8AT)


With each membership card. Meaning you can't bring a family of 8 in on one card.

They're not saying 2 people in the whole store at a time.

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:10 AM (Zz0t1)

284 The Nextdoor scolds here want our Publix to only allow six people at a time to enter the store.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (ptqGC)
++++++++++++++
Six people? In an entire supermarket? That's asinine. Queuing may be justified to reduce in-store density depending on outbreak activity in the area, but *six* at a time? What possible rationale for that?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:10 AM (Q8c/L)

285 Seeing some people in the we sure might get to the 100G deaths, hope not but we ought to prepare ourselves for it.
As long as I'm sitting at home 30G might be a stretch is my thinking.

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 10:10 AM (ZCEU2)

286
Last I checked, gender dysphoria is not communicable.

Posted by: SMOD at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (3aI0K)

287 Might I suggest a lovely work called

"Drunken Silenus" by Jusepe de Ribera--No. Just, no.

Posted by: FrodoB,
looking for more eye bleach at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (dQF3z)

288
There has been a punishment theme around this place in recent weeks. The world was already punishing us before we got here.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (t5m5e)

289 @FOX2now 47 seconds ago



Starting Friday, Costco will allow no more than two people to enter any of its warehouses with each membership card.



TWO?!



Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (cF8AT)


I read that as 2 per membership card, not 2 per store.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (q1Pj5)

290 Way to go, Insom! Hope you find someone to post for you here while you are being productive.

Posted by: Roy at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (ABjxW)

291 122 Over 100?

Good.

*plays fanfare*

I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

AWESOME!
HAPPY DANCES AROUND!

GREAT NEWS!

Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (cF8AT)

292 My uncle's estate was in reprobate for years.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (e284m)

293 Oh - two per card. I thought you meant - two in the entire store. My mistake.

I'd pay extra for a No Kids Allowed grocery store.

Posted by: I Am No One at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (uOouc)

294 I never knew the Chinese invented Pork N Beans.



Posted by: cornbred at April 01, 2020 09:58 AM (A751K)


Slight variation in China. Bat and beans

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (TEGRg)

295 Good. God. His Benefits Supervisor Sleeping:

https://bit.ly/2w9f3Se
Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (xSo9G)

Had a former co-worker from Wisconsin, who had absolutely no shame about who he'd chase after when he was drunk. His saying was, "She ain't a lady unless she weighs two-eighty!"

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (BAsqb)

296 I never been in a Costco. Looks to stay that way for awhile.

Posted by: dantesed at April 01, 2020 10:12 AM (88xKn)

297 Everyone is deturmed to make this economic suicide as quick as possible it looks.

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 10:12 AM (ZCEU2)

298 Insom, what if they find out you really didn't graduate from Harvard Law?

He kept busy ghostwriting Barky's term papers.

Posted by: Basement Cat at April 01, 2020 10:12 AM (pPNCa)

299 This definitely gave me some much-needed LOLs. "O Fortuna" Misheard lyrics edition.

https://preview.tinyurl.com/77t3ojl

"This Octopoose! Let's give him boots! Send him to North Ko- Reaaaa!

Funny stuff!

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:12 AM (KxVoZ)

300 264 @FOX2now 47 seconds ago

Starting Friday, Costco will allow no more than two people to enter any of its warehouses with each membership card.

TWO?!

Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 10:08 AM (cF8AT)

-----------------------------

No doubt an effort to keep entire families from coming in. When people started panic shopping, I was amazed at how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 01, 2020 10:12 AM (CAJOC)

301 Homey Depot is going to do something like the minimum people at once

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 10:13 AM (ZCEU2)

302 No doubt an effort to keep entire families from coming in. When people started panic shopping, I was amazed at how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.
Posted by: No One of Consequence



They still do.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (W2taJ)

303 295
The meat is sweetest closest to the bone.

I like trim women. Fat broads have no shape other than globular. I don't dig globular.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (o2MD2)

304 My uncle's estate was in reprobate for years.
Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (e284m)
+++++++++++++++
Not "prostate," you idiot! Probate!

Posted by: Eddie Valiant at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (Q8c/L)

305 301 not sure everywhere or certain stores

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (ZCEU2)

306 I was amazed at how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.
Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 01, 2020 10:12 AM (CAJOC)


The trick is to tie the nooses loose enough where their little feet can still barely touch ground - but tight enough to never let the little shits get comfortable.

Posted by: I Am No One at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (uOouc)

307 Any of your stores have those pieces of tape on the floor to make sure you stay six feet from other people?

I swear it's like they are trying to train us for something.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (l2bVb)

308 The Nextdoor scolds here want our Publix to only allow six people at a time to enter the store.



Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (ptqGC)

++++++++++++++

Six people? In an entire supermarket? That's asinine. Queuing may be
justified to reduce in-store density depending on outbreak activity in
the area, but *six* at a time? What possible rationale for that?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:10 AM (Q8c/L)


The majority of people who comment on Nextdoor here are well-to-do retired busybodies. With the bocce ball and pickle ball courts closed, and the club houses where they play bridge and mahjong, it's their new "sport."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (ptqGC)

309 122 Over 100?

Good.

*plays fanfare*

I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs

Hell yeah, brother. In the meantime, I slog through my teacher's certification courses...

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (Exv3s)

310 No doubt an effort to keep entire families from coming in. When people started panic shopping, I was amazed at how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.

------------

Large families want to bulk shop. No school, so mom has the kids.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (sX1BW)

311 Five bucks says she names the kid John

Ten bucks if she names it "Sen. John".

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (aKxkI)

312 Oh - two per card. I thought you meant - two in the entire store. My mistake.

I'd pay extra for a No Kids Allowed grocery store.
Posted by: I Am No One


No shit.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:15 AM (W2taJ)

313 Somewhere, this will happen.

"Look, ya can't come into the store unless there's 2 of yuse. That's what the new rule says.
I'm just followin orders, okay?

Next in line!"

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:15 AM (e284m)

314 No doubt an effort to keep entire families from coming in. When people started panic shopping, I was amazed at how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.
Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 01, 2020 10:12 AM (CAJOC)

"There's an infectious disease spreading! Quick! Bring all the kids to Costco!"

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:15 AM (BAsqb)

315




we do indeed live in crazy times...



Posted by: Krusty at April 01, 2020 10:15 AM (+0hNN)

316 288


There has been a punishment theme around this place in recent weeks. The world was already punishing us before we got here.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 01, 2020 10:11 AM (t5m5e)

Apocalypse checklist:World-wide pandemic, checkLocusts, checkVolcanic eruptions, checkEarthquakes, checkNaked Men on ottomans, check
Next? Hang on to yer butts.

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:15 AM (VQp/A)

317 312
Oh - two per card. I thought you meant - two in the entire store. My mistake.



I'd pay extra for a No Kids Allowed grocery store.

Posted by: I Am No One





No shit.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:15 AM (W2taJ)
How am I to appreciate entire 'foreign' families during Asia days at my local Costco?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:16 AM (e284m)

318 "There's an infectious disease spreading! Quick! Bring all the kids to Costco!"

---------------

Leave them at home. Nope can't do that, child endangerment.

Get a babysitter. Nope can't do that, not social distancing.

Shop while at school. Nope can't do that, schools closed.

What do people expect?

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:16 AM (sX1BW)

319
Apocalypse checklist:World-wide pandemic, checkLocusts, checkVolcanic eruptions, checkEarthquakes, checkNaked Men on ottomans, check
Next? Hang on to yer butts.
Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:15 AM (VQp/A


Yoko, the bringer of death and ear bleeds, not necessarily in that order.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:16 AM (l2bVb)

320 I was amazed at how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.

Were they buying or selling?

Posted by: Jake Blues with heavy accent at April 01, 2020 10:16 AM (75Q6c)

321 Nothing like going in a Kroger and seeing a couple of dogs in a shopping cart.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (ptqGC)

322 I assume everyone has figured out that the "why?" Is because of the date.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (G2zl5)

323 Insomniac, I assume your interviews were before the plague ?

Posted by: runner at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (zr5Kq)

324 We, now what are we going to do for entertainment?

Posted by: Large Extended Famiy Clogging Up the Aisles and Arguing Over a Can of Beans at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (q1Pj5)

325 314 No doubt an effort to keep entire families from coming in. When people started panic shopping, I was amazed at how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.
Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 01, 2020 10:12 AM (CAJOC)

"There's an infectious disease spreading! Quick! Bring all the kids to Costco!"
Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:15 AM (BAsqb)

That's the problem with no school - you can't just leave them at home anymore, and you can't leave the kids in the car, or people freak out. So what is someone with kids supposed to do, except take them with them?

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (V2Yro)

326 Nothing like going in a Kroger and seeing a couple of dogs in a shopping cart.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (ptqGC)

-----------

It's okay. They're therapy animals.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (XVuno)

327 Seeing some people in the we sure might get to the 100G deaths

That would be one hell of a hockey stick.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (IMdOQ)

328 The majority of people who comment on Nextdoor here are well-to-do retired busybodies. With the bocce ball and pickle ball courts closed, and the club houses where they play bridge and mahjong, it's their new "sport."
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (ptqGC)
+++++++++++++++
Ugh. My mom is retired. My mom is also a Mahjong enthusiast. She played twice a week before the lockdowns happened. I don't get the pivot over to busybodyism. She's pissed she can't play Mahjong and wants them to reopen the senior center as soon as they can. She is getting some vicarious pleasure through taking walks and watching the neighborhood kids playing outside (lots of siblings riding bicycles together or playing 1:1 basketball).

Maybe she just doesn't have the busybody gene. I dunno. There has got to be a better use of time even if you're retired and can't play Mahjong with your friends at the moment...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (Q8c/L)

329 Biden Super PAC Joins Forces With David Brock Group to Form $175 Million Anti-Trump Coalition

-
Whoa! The combined brain power of Biden and Brock! Can anything stop them!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (+y/Ru)

330 245 Insomniac, that is the best news I have heard in a long time! Congratulations! As a fellow lawyer who has also had their ass kicked employment wise many times, I am so happy for you. Landing a job you really want is one of the best feelings in the world.
Posted by: Goldilocks at April 01, 2020 10:05 AM (zz1sH)

Thank you! It feels great, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, my chest, and my heart. And this seems like the right place for me to be, too.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (NWiLs)

331 I was amazed at how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.

Were they buying or selling?
Posted by: Jake Blues


Back when they were talking about no gatherings of more than 5, the youngest kid of four would have to be sold off.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (W2taJ)

332 Lucien banged 1000s of broads had least 12 illegitimate kids.

Piker

Posted by: Genghis Khan at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (2BZBZ)

333 322
I assume everyone has figured out that the "why?" Is because of the date.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (G2zl5)
April Fool's day is no fun any more because for real stupid shit happens every day now.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (e284m)

334 Yoko, the bringer of death and ear bleeds, not necessarily in that order.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:16 AM (l2bVb)

She has become Death, the destroyer of ears.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (Exv3s)

335

Freud : Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole.


nicely rendered into bacon grease.

wot's that Bum doing on my pouffe? The Wipe?

Posted by: saf at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (5IHGB)

336 What do people expect?
Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:16 AM (sX1BW)


See my noose comment upthread. Kids standing as straight as possible, struggling to breathe while keeping up with the cart, make a surprisingly and pleasantly small amount of chatter.

Posted by: I Am No One at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (uOouc)

337 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (TLxpZ)

338 Seeing some people in the we sure might get to the 100G deaths

That would be one hell of a hockey stick.

--------------

And should lead to a hot war.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (sX1BW)

339 All right, what did you people do this time ?


LOL !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (cqteU)

340 how many had 3-4 kids hanging off their cart.

We're going to have to ban those wet markets.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (KxVoZ)

341 Never got Costco. Me paying someone to shop in their store goes against my nature.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (l2bVb)

342 That's the problem with no school - you can't just leave them at home anymore, and you can't leave the kids in the car, or people freak out. So what is someone with kids supposed to do, except take them with them?
Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (V2Yro)

I don't get the horrible fear of leaving kids at home. "Watch your brother and sister, I'll be home in an hour. Don't go anywhere."

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (BAsqb)

343 So you're telling me there won't be the rolling family roadblocks on every aisle when I go to Costco now?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (e284m)

344 323 Insomniac, I assume your interviews were before the plague ?
Posted by: runner at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (zr5Kq)

Started before, but the second level took place during early plague time before full metal insanity broke out.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (NWiLs)

345 >Apocalypse checklist:World-wide pandemic, checkLocusts, checkVolcanic eruptions, checkEarthquakes, checkNaked Men on ottomans, check
Next? Hang on to yer butts.
Posted by: Kris



you forgot the giant comet headed this way, and a supergiant star only 700 lightyears away about to go supernova

Posted by: DB- just DB, under house arrest at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (iTXRQ)

346 Yoko, the bringer of death and ear bleeds, not necessarily in that order.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:16 AM (l2bVb)



She has become Death, the destroyer of ears.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (Exv3s)


My prediction, again, for the Gorilla thread:

Guys get Yoko

Gals get hippy John Lennon

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (ptqGC)

347 Seeing some people in the we sure might get to the 100G deaths



I was promised 50 million by the experts.

A whole lot of people are going to have to get on the cart.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (W2taJ)

348 104 No Brian Stelter jokes in the first 100? Shame on you people.


Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 09:47 AM (TLxpZ)


Sure someone has said it above: Harvey W.

Posted by: Steve in SoCal at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (Ozpxd)

349 308 The Nextdoor scolds here want our Publix to only allow six people at a time to enter the store.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:09 AM (ptqGC)

the Lords sitting pretty in their Manor Houses want the peasants to be happy with 1 bowl of gruel a day, and to make sure that they are neither seen nor heard. Because that annoys the Lords.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (V2Yro)

350 I remember that one Yoko song, what was it called? "Don't Worry Kyoko, Mummy's only Screaming Like a Fucking Lunatic"?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (KxVoZ)

351 337 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.

KATIE BAR THE DOOR

Posted by: getting banned katie to bar the door at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (K++Hd)

352 330
Thank you! It feels great, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, my chest, and my heart. And this seems like the right place for me to be, too.
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (NWiLs)

=========

You get to stay in your little corner of the country, right?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (UWqZJ)

353
"A remarkable example of modern art." - Winston Churchill

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (7rVsF)

354 Any of your stores have those pieces of tape on the floor to make sure you stay six feet from other people?

Yeah, my farm store had it yesterday. People sort of followed it, but you can tell that nobody really takes this seriously. Because people aren't sick.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (CDGwz)

355 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.
Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (TLxpZ)

Or until he melts down and starts gibbering, whichever comes first.

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (BAsqb)

356
Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.


Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (TLxpZ)


*glances at date on calendar again*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (ptqGC)

357 Back to my escapism miniature game. Always have sterio on out there but listening to music now, Chris Stigall 990am is good but Mike Gallagher is on the oh it could get bad soon trip.

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (ZCEU2)

358 I don't get the horrible fear of leaving kids at home. "Watch your brother and sister, I'll be home in an hour. Don't go anywhere."
Posted by: Vanya

-------------

Would someone please checkin on the Vanya residence. We have reports of a mother (or father) that doesn't know how to parent their children. Lock this monster up and take away her (or his) kids.

Bring guns.

Posted by: CPS Dispatch at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (sX1BW)

359 congrats, insomniac.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (KP5rU)

360 That's the problem with no school - you can't just leave them at home anymore, and you can't leave the kids in the car, or people freak out. So what is someone with kids supposed to do, except take them with them?
Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (V2Yro)

I don't get the horrible fear of leaving kids at home. "Watch your brother and sister, I'll be home in an hour. Don't go anywhere."
Posted by: Vanya


Oh no. We can't have that. Kids under 26 are too stupid to babysit.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (W2taJ)

361 -
--
Biden Super PAC Joins Forces With David Brock Group to Form $175 Million Anti-Trump Coalition

------------

Pikers.

Posted by: Mikey Bloomberg at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (RVcmP)

362
329 Biden Super PAC Joins Forces With David Brock Group to Form $175 Million Anti-Trump Coalition

-
Whoa! The combined brain power of Biden and Brock! Can anything stop them!
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (+y/Ru)


Someone paid attention at the Bloomberg School of How to Blow Money.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (l2bVb)

363 Tuck with BID N? I' ll be there

Posted by: Skip at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (ZCEU2)

364 351 337 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.

KATIE BAR THE DOOR
Posted by: getting banned katie to bar the door at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (K++Hd)

==========

I suddenly want to watch politics on television for the first time since 2012.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (UWqZJ)

365 354
Any of your stores have those pieces of tape on the floor to make sure you stay six feet from other people?



Yeah, my farm store had it yesterday. People sort of followed it,
but you can tell that nobody really takes this seriously. Because people
aren't sick.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (CDGwz)
Every one I've been in to since Noah declared he was starting on Ark II.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (e284m)

366 I don't get the horrible fear of leaving kids at home. "Watch your brother and sister, I'll be home in an hour. Don't go anywhere."
Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (BAsqb)

Oh I agree, I was regularly left in care of my younger brother and sister by the time I was 11. Nowadays, someone would call CPS and they'd have carted all of us off.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (V2Yro)

367
Fat Man On An Ottoman as Official Muddle East Policy - a limerick

The State Department's chock full of jerks
But here's a plan that just might work
Let's enlist a full Corps
Of fat men galore
And have them go sit on the Turks!

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (m45I2)

368 341 Never got Costco. Me paying someone to shop in their store goes against my nature.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (l2bVb)


Well the idea is that if you need to buy in the amounts that Costco has you will hit a point where you are ultimately saving money because the discounts equal the cost your membership and everything after that is more savings.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (G2zl5)

369 Because David Brock was so successful in stopping Trump last time.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (KxVoZ)

370 *glances at date on calendar again*




Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (ptqGC)

Yeah, I fell for it.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (TLxpZ)

371 Any of your stores have those pieces of tape on the floor to make sure you stay six feet from other people?

I swear it's like they are trying to train us for something.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (l2bVb)
++++++++++++
Yes, and some of them are elaborate. At Home Depot, they have blue masking tape down, same at Kroger. At Walgreens, they have custom printed tape that reads from either side, "Practice Social Distancing. Remain Six Feet Apart."

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (Q8c/L)

372 You get to stay in your little corner of the country, right?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (UWqZJ)

I'll still be in FL. I will need to relocate, but that's a bit down the road yet. I'll be teleworking at the start.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (NWiLs)

373 Seeing some people in the we sure might get to the 100G deaths

Like all of my products, you've got to wait for version 3.

Posted by: Bill Gates at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (CDGwz)

374 360 Oh no. We can't have that. Kids under 26 are too stupid to babysit.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (W2taJ)

==========

I wouldn't trust 6 year old Junior with 5 month old Second Junior alone, to be honest.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (UWqZJ)

375 Started before, but the second level took place during early plague time before full metal insanity broke out.
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (NWiLs)


Nice. You are baaaaack !

Posted by: runner at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (zr5Kq)

376 That painting is hanging in plumbers homes everywhere.

Posted by: Case at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (mcuue)

377 https://bit.ly/3bIUyuO

Amanda Marcotte has sure gotten religion about #metoo and responsible reporting.

She has the temerity, or lack of self awareness and critical thinking skills, to actually referce Blasey Ford in the article.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (hr5kG)

378 Chavez!!!

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (NWiLs)

379 372 You get to stay in your little corner of the country, right?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (UWqZJ)

I'll still be in FL. I will need to relocate, but that's a bit down the road yet. I'll be teleworking at the start.
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (NWiLs)

=========

Bartow, Florida, here you come.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (UWqZJ)

380 337
Really? I can't believe his handlers allowed that. He is going to make a giant ass of hisself again. He's a drooling retard.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (o2MD2)

381 333
322

I assume everyone has figured out that the "why?" Is because of the date.



Posted by: Buzzion at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (G2zl5)
April Fool's day is no fun any more because for real stupid shit happens every day now.


Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (e284m)

It's needed more than ever now. Gallows humor. Laughing during a world-wide tragedy. I have no problem with it. I think that might have been why shows like MASH were so popular.

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (VQp/A)

382 Dateline, Minneapolis MN

corporate spokespersons for several grocery store chains have announced new COVID-19 compliance standards.
spox have stated that because of federal and several state mandates for safety in this dangerous time, new standards are required.

From now, as well as social distancing, limiting number of people allowed in lines, and allowed in the building, all shoppers must be screened for temperature, sharp objects, containers holding more than 2.5 ounces of fluids, must be body searched and must remove shoes for inspection before being allowed to pay for and take home their purchases

Posted by: Kindltot at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (Dqij+)

383 Oh I agree, I was regularly left in care of my younger brother and sister by the time I was 11. Nowadays, someone would call CPS and they'd have carted all of us off.
Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (V2Yro)

Same here. I suggest that if you have a 12 year old who isn't capable of watching younger siblings for an hour, THAT'S a sign of shitty parenting, not the other way around.

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (BAsqb)

384 371 Any of your stores have those pieces of tape on the floor to make sure you stay six feet from other people?

I swear it's like they are trying to train us for something.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:14 AM (l2bVb)
++++++++++++
Yes, and some of them are elaborate. At Home Depot, they have blue masking tape down, same at Kroger. At Walgreens, they have custom printed tape that reads from either side, "Practice Social Distancing. Remain Six Feet Apart."
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (Q8c/L)

At the store at which I night stock, there are gray strips of tape with my new "favorite" phrase - SOCIAL DISTANCING - written on them. You typically find them at the register lines.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (Exv3s)

385 That's the problem with no school - you can't just leave them at home anymore, and you can't leave the kids in the car, or people freak out. So what is someone with kids supposed to do, except take them with them?
Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (V2Yro)


In Vermont you are not even supposed to allow grandparents to watch them (unless said grandparents live in the same house). We were such scofflaws yesterday - went on a hike with granddaughter and her mother, but no hugs, kisses, etc.

Posted by: moon_over_vermont at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (1dJNh)

386 Really? I can't believe his handlers allowed that. He is going to make a giant ass of hisself again. He's a drooling retard.

-----------

Honestly, I suspect Tucker will make him look pretty good. At least give him the opportunity to look good.

Posted by: CPS Dispatch at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (sX1BW)

387 Well the idea is that if you need to buy in the amounts that Costco has you will hit a point where you are ultimately saving money because the discounts equal the cost your membership and everything after that is more savings.
Posted by: Buzzion at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (G2zl5)
+++++++++++++
And the membership fee makes that possible. It is a massive non-merchandise cashflow that lets them pay for goods well inside the normal window for retail, which lets them negotiate better prices. That combines with their "large quantities in fewer packaging options" approach makes the model work.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (Q8c/L)

388 341 Never got Costco. Me paying someone to shop in their store goes against my nature.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (l2bVb)

-------------------------

Their gas prices are cheaper. Right now, AAA says the avg in MN is 1.82. Costco gas is 1.45. So we make our membership cost back pretty quickly.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (CAJOC)

389 366 I don't get the horrible fear of leaving kids at home. "Watch your brother and sister, I'll be home in an hour. Don't go anywhere."
Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (BAsqb)

Oh I agree, I was regularly left in care of my younger brother and sister by the time I was 11. Nowadays, someone would call CPS and they'd have carted all of us off.
Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (V2Yro)

I babysat other people's kids, including infants, by the time I was 10 or 11. It's gotten really stupid out there.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (NWiLs)

390 >>Really? I can't believe his handlers allowed that. He is going to make a giant ass of hisself again. He's a drooling retard.

pssst... It's April 1st.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (ZLI7S)

391 Projectile vomiting isn't one of the better ways to start the day.

Posted by: Northernlurker, still lurking after all these years at April 01, 2020 10:25 AM (Uu+Jp)

392 Stepped away for a but to have breakfast and just saw Insomniac's announcement!

Insom, congratulations!! I am sooo happy for you!

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 01, 2020 10:25 AM (FIYRT)

393
It's needed more than ever now. Gallows humor.
Laughing during a world-wide tragedy. I have no problem with it. I think
that might have been why shows like MASH were so popular.


Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (VQp/A)
Oh, THIS part I understand, perfectly. My ancestry positively demands gallows humor. But...it has been said I would complain if they used a new rope to hang me.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:25 AM (e284m)

394 Congrats, Insom !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at April 01, 2020 10:25 AM (cqteU)

395 My Krogers has the tape but nobody including employees seems to be paying it any attention.

Had to get something at the customer service desk and saw they had hastily-installed plastic barriers. Lots of hastily-installed barriers lately. Had to laugh at the liquor store that put them up and moved the card scanners to the customer's side...but did not have any holes in the barriers for people paying cash to pass it through. Yeah, that was creating some awkward exchanges. Next day, they had cut holes.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:25 AM (KxVoZ)

396 Bartow, Florida, here you come.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (UWqZJ)

LOL. Fortunately, no. Although the Bartow of today isn't the Bartow of yesteryear.

Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:25 AM (NWiLs)

397 Blecccch.

Posted by: The inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (8uBXj)

398 Honestly, I suspect Tucker will make him look pretty good. At least give him the opportunity to look good.
Posted by: CPS Dispatch at April 01, 2020 10:24 AM (sX1BW

There is only so much luster you can polish onto a turd.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (o2MD2)

399 Something must be in the water over there or in the paint.
Posted by: MHK at April 01, 2020 10:06 AM


Lead.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (ejd/p)

400 Huh, interesting, naked ottoman man's name is Leigh Bowery, one of Boy George's inspirations.

Posted by: Bob in Houston at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (YBLgY)

401 It's needed more than ever now. Gallows humor. Laughing during a world-wide tragedy. I have no problem with it. I think that might have been why shows like MASH were so popular.
Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (VQp/A)

See also: Soviet humor.

Q: What's five hundred meters long and eats only potatoes?

A: A line of Russians waiting to buy meat.

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (BAsqb)

402 364 351 337 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.

KATIE BAR THE DOOR
Posted by: getting banned katie to bar the door at April 01, 2020 10:20 AM (K++Hd)

==========

I suddenly want to watch politics on television for the first time since 2012.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM

...

Early predictions:

Biden is 50 minutes late
Biden forgets to wear pants and stands up at 55 minute mark.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (hr5kG)

403 Don't understand why the art thread has a screen capture from the latest Biden video.

Posted by: VADM Collingwood RN - Nobel Laureate in Social Distancing at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (9X60i)

404 Kris, I thoroughly enjoyed your analysis of the painting. The painting, not so much.
Posted by: Jordan61 at April 01, 2020 09:46 AM (yqtSc)
-------------

What Jordan said.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (WEBkv)

405 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.
Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (TLxpZ)

*glances at date on calendar again*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:21 AM (ptqGC)

LOL!!! But I was looking forward to Tucker asking him "Ok, could you tell us what Corn Pop taught you about social distancing?"

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (V2Yro)

406 396 Bartow, Florida, here you come.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (UWqZJ)

LOL. Fortunately, no. Although the Bartow of today isn't the Bartow of yesteryear.
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:25 AM (NWiLs)

===========

I did my first year of high school at Bartow High.

Then we moved to Indiana.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (UWqZJ)

407 I'll still be in FL. I will need to relocate, but that's a bit down the road yet. I'll be teleworking at the start.
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (NWiLs)

It is probably good that you will move. New start, new surroundings, new people.

Posted by: runner at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (zr5Kq)

408 My 5 y.o. sister came after me with a steak knife when I was 8. Mom left us home alone for an hour.

I had to lock myself in the bathroom, and could hear her breathing outside the door.

She was an angry little piece of work way back then, before she became a "proud socialist."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (ptqGC)

409 I swear it's like they are trying to train us for something.

YOU GO LEFT.
YOU GO LEFT.
YOU GO LEFT.
OK, YOU, YOU GO RIGHT
(as snarling dogs bark)

Posted by: getting the oompapa banned back in liederhosen at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (K++Hd)

410 I wouldn't trust 6 year old Junior with 5 month old Second Junior alone, to be honest.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison



No. But 12 or 13 yr old Junior should be able to babysit 6 yr old second Junior.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (W2taJ)

411 Dateline, Minneapolis MN

corporate spokespersons for several grocery store chains have announced new COVID-19 compliance standards.
spox have stated that because of federal and several state mandates for safety in this dangerous time, new standards are required.

From now, as well as social distancing, limiting number of people allowed in lines, and allowed in the building, all shoppers must be screened for temperature, sharp objects, containers holding more than 2.5 ounces of fluids, must be body searched and must remove shoes for inspection before being allowed to pay for and take home their purchases
Posted by: Kindltot at April 01, 2020 10:23 AM (Dqij+)
+++++++++++++++++
I can't tell if this is satire or not. It should be, but imposing TSA rules on grocery shopping is just the kind of madness I am coming to expect.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (Q8c/L)

412 Which States Have Delayed Tax Payments or Filings?

https://tinyurl.com/vlaeno3


Almost all states have delayed filings. They update the page as info becomes available.

Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (cF8AT)

413 Worst part of the grocery store is waiting 14 days to find out if you caught the flu.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (l2bVb)

414 366
I don't get the horrible fear of leaving kids at home. "Watch your
brother and sister, I'll be home in an hour. Don't go anywhere."

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:19 AM (BAsqb)



Oh I agree, I was regularly left in care of my younger brother and
sister by the time I was 11. Nowadays, someone would call CPS and
they'd have carted all of us off.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM (V2Yro)

Once my sister turned 13, she became the go-to babysitter for the rest of us. Looking back, I feel sorry for her. It was 5 against 1. We made her earn that money.

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (VQp/A)

415 oh, no! the return of the ottoman umpire!

Posted by: Anachronda at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (kf5Ci)

416 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.

Got it. I looked at the calendar. Can you imagine the damage to his campaign Joe could do in an hour?

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:28 AM (jyVW0)

417
Q: What's five hundred meters long and eats only potatoes?



A: A line of Russians waiting to buy meat.



Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM (BAsqb)


Q: Where is there always a line at Lenin's tomb?

A: It's the only thing we never run out of in the Soviet Union.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:28 AM (e284m)

418 410 I wouldn't trust 6 year old Junior with 5 month old Second Junior alone, to be honest.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison



No. But 12 or 13 yr old Junior should be able to babysit 6 yr old second Junior.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (W2taJ)

=========

Just saying that I cannot imagine what it would be like if both Dolley and I needed to go into service jobs still while the schools and daycares were closed. Junior could be managed at a Burger King or a Home Depot, but not Second Junior.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:28 AM (UWqZJ)

419 My 5 y.o. sister came after me with a steak knife when I was 8. Mom left us home alone for an hour.

I had to lock myself in the bathroom, and could hear her breathing outside the door.

==

that's ...disturbing

Posted by: runner at April 01, 2020 10:29 AM (zr5Kq)

420 Lately, I've been watching Fringe.

I clicked on the Hoard link, and I saw something from Fringe.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:29 AM (Eicbe)

421 Odd that I don't know this but has Bernie actually dropped out yet? Like officially? Or is he still awaiting his new Dacha?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:29 AM (l2bVb)

422 In Vermont you are not even supposed to allow grandparents to watch them (unless said grandparents live in the same house).

Posted by: moon_over_vermont


Vermont can go fuck themselves.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:29 AM (W2taJ)

423 John and Yoko did primal scream therapy 'bout mommy/daddy issues. Involved screaming till ears bled.

Posted by: Ziggy Fraud at April 01, 2020 10:29 AM (WX+x0)

424 Congratulations, Insomniac.

Great news.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at April 01, 2020 10:29 AM (WEBkv)

425 Not this again...


Cya later

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:30 AM (w2O4c)

426 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.
---
Got it. I looked at the calendar. Can you imagine the damage to his campaign Joe could do in an hour?

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:28 AM (jyVW0)
---
Joe needs to let the dirt shower over him.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:30 AM (Eicbe)

427 I'll still be in FL. I will need to relocate, but that's a bit down the road yet. I'll be teleworking at the start.
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 10:22 AM


Nice. I had to relocate instate to take the current job, but I'm really glad I did (despite the current cray cray). Really happy for you.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2020 10:30 AM (ejd/p)

428 John and Yoko did primal scream therapy 'bout mommy/daddy issues. Involved screaming till ears bled.
Posted by: Ziggy Fraud at April 01, 2020 10:29 AM (WX+x0)
++++++++++++++
At least Yoko got an album out of it...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:30 AM (Q8c/L)

429
Vermont can go fuck themselves.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:29 AM (W2taJ)
Vermont - the Colorado of the East Coast. Colorado should have payed attention, but now it's too late for them too.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:30 AM (e284m)

430
I got a new job! said Insomniac
Great pay. I finally get my groove back
In my temp job I was naked
Which I thoroughly hated
Good-bye, nude ottoman magazine rack!

Posted by: naturalfake at April 01, 2020 10:30 AM (z0XD8)

431 Don't worry ! Don't worry ! Don't worry ! Don't worry ! Don't worry !

Posted by: Yoko at April 01, 2020 10:31 AM (3aI0K)

432 See also: Soviet humor.

Q: What's five hundred meters long and eats only potatoes?

A: A line of Russians waiting to buy meat.


Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM



***

Pretty much describes the line at Costo yesterday morning. Except they had everything...just one huge friggin' line. I counted over 450 people.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 01, 2020 10:31 AM (axyOa)

433 If any of you are wondering why you are so tired this morning it is because you just finished a 31 day March.

Thank you and please try the veal.

Posted by: moon_over_vermont at April 01, 2020 10:31 AM (1dJNh)

434 "Snitches get rewards... thanks for turning people in"
-L A mayor garspermicetti

Posted by: getting the banned snitched out at April 01, 2020 10:31 AM (K++Hd)

435 Local grocery chain gives gasoline discounts based on how much you buy in the store. Good news: I'm up to $1 per gallon off the pump price. Bad news: No where to go and the gas tank is full.

Continuing my list of first world problems.

Posted by: VADM Collingwood RN - Nobel Laureate in Social Distancing at April 01, 2020 10:31 AM (9X60i)

436 At least Yoko got an album out of it...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:30 AM



Some of her best work.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (axyOa)

437 Coronavirus tests heading to UK contaminated with Covid-19
Testing kits which were headed to the UK have been found to be contaminated with coronavirus.
-standard.co.uk

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (aKxkI)

438 They have curmudgeon jobs?

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (Eicbe)

439 What is Murderin' Joe's problem with Hydroxychloroliquine ?

What's wrong with trying it to see if it works?

Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (CqE5x)

440 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.

-
Uh oh. Joe's attention span is 90 seconds. On a good day.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (+y/Ru)

441 "Snitches get rewards... thanks for turning people in"
-L A mayor garspermicetti
Posted by: getting the banned snitched



Due to medical supplies being stretched thing, we will be forgoing stitches. We will go straight to ditches.

Therefore,

Snitches get ditches.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (W2taJ)

442 408 My 5 y.o. sister came after me with a steak knife when I was 8. Mom left us home alone for an hour.

==

younger or older sister?

Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (G546f)

443 oh, no! the return of the ottoman umpire!
Posted by: Anachronda at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (kf5Ci)

Don't be a turkey.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (XrCyE)

444 They have curmudgeon jobs?
Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (Eicbe)
----------

If they truly exist, I probably qualify for Journeyman level.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (WEBkv)

445 Just an FYI, for items on Amazon that are still eligible for prime shipping, Amazon has upped the No Rush Reward from $1 to $3.

That only counts for certain digital purchases, of course, but I'm looking for things to buy (that I will or do need) just to take advantage.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (UWqZJ)

446 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.
Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (TLxpZ)

A dollar says Biden calls Carlson by the wrong name at least once.

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (BAsqb)

447 What drugs will Joe Biden be taking to get him up for an interview that might approach neutral as opposed to fawning and protective?

Posted by: Northernlurker, still lurking after all these years at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (Uu+Jp)

448 Now way that's sitting on my ottoman. If I had an ottoman.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (+0AKE)

449 Make Chiina a pariah of all the nations.

Posted by: azalea city at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (WX+x0)

450 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.
Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (TLxpZ)

A dollar says Biden calls Carlson by the wrong name at least once.
Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (BAsqb)
---
"It's just not that easy, Phil".

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (Eicbe)

451 He's a 1.

Posted by: Tater Stelter at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (sjdRT)

452 See also: Soviet humor.

Q: What's five hundred meters long and eats only potatoes?
A: A line of Russians waiting to buy meat.
Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:26 AM
++++++++++++++
A man is walking home and the KGB stops him and demands to see his papers. He produces them. The KGB officer reviews them and starts a brief interrogation.
Q. "Where do you live?"
A. "Leningrad."
Q. "Where were you born?"
A. "Petrograd."
At this KGB officer tensed up.
Q. "Where were your parents born?"
A. "Saint Petersburg."

The KGB officer snapped, "Careful, asshole. Do you want to live in Kolyma?"

The man responded, "No, comrade officer. I want to live in Saint Petersburg."

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (Q8c/L)

453 444
They have curmudgeon jobs?

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (Eicbe)

----------



If they truly exist, I probably qualify for Journeyman level.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (WEBkv)
I only want the job if they hand out cudgels.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (e284m)

454 439 What is Murderin' Joe's problem with Hydroxychloroliquine ?

What's wrong with trying it to see if it works?
Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (CqE5x


It's complicated. You see, Orange Man Bad, which also means Orange Man Bad. When Orange Man Bad is not in Orange Man Bad, you'll Orange Man Bad, which could lead to Orange Man Bad. And that would be a Orange Man Bad.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (l2bVb)

455 A dollar says Biden calls Carlson by the wrong name at least once.
Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (BAsqb)


He look, Fucker...I mean Tucker....

Posted by: blaster at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (ZfRYq)

456 What drugs will Joe Biden be taking to get him up for an interview that might approach neutral as opposed to fawning and protective?

Posted by: Northernlurker, still lurking after all these years at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (Uu+Jp)
---
Coke. A lot of coke.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (Eicbe)

457 Thanks, Guy Smiley, needed that !

LOL !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (cqteU)

458 What's the latest from Iran? The leadership still dropping like flies?

Posted by: davidt at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (l3+k2)

459 A dollar says Biden calls Carlson by the wrong name at least once.
Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:33 AM (BAsqb
-------
"How you doin', Chuck?"

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at April 01, 2020 10:35 AM (g8Yc+)

460 Pretty funny Biden meme.

https://tinyurl.com/vkeea7u

Posted by: Tami at April 01, 2020 10:35 AM (cF8AT)

461 I'm still catching up on comments but congratulations Insom!!!! Very happy for you.

Posted by: IC at April 01, 2020 10:35 AM (a0IVu)

462 What's the latest from Iran? The leadership still dropping like flies?
Posted by: davidt


They're down to the janitor.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:35 AM (W2taJ)

463 Hubs is trying to do some telework on his laptop connected to the hotel wifi. He's swearing a lot so I don't think it's going well.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (FIYRT)

464 Worst April Fool's art ever!

Posted by: pookysgirl, chief validator at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (XKZwp)

465 What are you doing letting a 5 year old get hold of a knife, Jane? You were suppose to be watching her.

Posted by: Case at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (mcuue)

466 Biden thinks he's going on The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (8JqLB)

467 Yea Insom!!

Good for you.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (Y4EXg)

468 So has anybody flipped by a Sports Talk channel this morning?

I just want to know if they spent any time on the Superbowl reruns.

*suppressed chuckle*.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (Eicbe)

469 Nothing like going in a Kroger and seeing a couple of dogs in a shopping cart.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (ptqGC)

did you ask what aisle they were selling them?

Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (G546f)

470 I don't think the guy in the picture liver works too well.

Posted by: Puddin Head at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (VY4KS)

471 What's the latest from Iran?

Posted by: davidt at April 01, 2020 10:34 AM (l3+k2)

Apparently they are exporting coronavirus to Syria via the terrorist support networks!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (dLLD6)

472 Just an FYI, for items on Amazon that are still eligible for prime shipping, Amazon has upped the No Rush Reward from $1 to $3.

That only counts for certain digital purchases, of course, but I'm looking for things to buy (that I will or do need) just to take advantage.

--------------

I thought this trick only worked on wives.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (sX1BW)

473 Coronavirus tests heading to UK contaminated with Covid-19
Testing kits which were headed to the UK have been found to be contaminated with coronavirus.
-standard.co.uk


So......

Either this is/was bio warfare or they're swimming in the virus and dropping like flies.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (ekIi+)

474 My husband went in to the office today. He's working on getting a couple of clients to stop freaking the hell out and let his crews start their jobs.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (ptqGC)

475 My brother was 2 years younger than me. After all these years, he's still kinda mad about the time I locked him out of the house and in the back yard for 2 hours, since he was pissing me off.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (V2Yro)

476 469
Nothing like going in a Kroger and seeing a couple of dogs in a shopping cart.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (ptqGC)


Kroger has a wet market?

Or would they call it a wet store here in the US?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (e284m)

477 Worst part of the grocery store is waiting 14 days to find out if you caught the flu.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:27 AM (l2bVb)
~~~~~

If it's any help, most people (most, not all) will come down with it within the first 5 days. The 14 day wait is just to be on the safe side, because it is still possible within that window.

Posted by: IrishEi at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (sGotD)

478 I hope this is not Insom's version of a April 1st joke.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (Eicbe)

479 469 Nothing like going in a Kroger and seeing a couple of dogs in a shopping cart.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (ptqGC)

did you ask what aisle they were selling them?
-----------------
Wait until you hit the Bat aisle.

Posted by: Puddin Head at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (VY4KS)

480 What's the latest from Iran? The leadership still dropping like flies?
Posted by: davidt


They're down to the janitor.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:35 AM (W2taJ)
-----
Country's closed. Camel out front shoulda told ya.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (g8Yc+)

481 Would be a nice painting for the dining room.

Posted by: Frankovich's Monster at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (dYe5S)

482 120 Something tells me OregonMuse is going to hit us with April Fool Who Dis? images in his Morning Rant.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 01, 2020 09:48 AM (rpbg1)

Yoko?

Posted by: Fox2! at April 01, 2020 10:38 AM (qyH+l)

483 An April 1 special at Amazon. Amazon will take your money and not ship you shit.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:38 AM (Eicbe)

484 472 Just an FYI, for items on Amazon that are still eligible for prime shipping, Amazon has upped the No Rush Reward from $1 to $3.

That only counts for certain digital purchases, of course, but I'm looking for things to buy (that I will or do need) just to take advantage.

--------------

I thought this trick only worked on wives.
Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:36 AM (sX1BW)

============

FREE MOVIES!!!! (sort of)

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:38 AM (UWqZJ)

485 475
My brother was 2 years younger than me. After all these years, he's
still kinda mad about the time I locked him out of the house and in the
back yard for 2 hours, since he was pissing me off.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (V2Yro)

What is it with younger sibling hanging onto things for 30+ years? Jeez. Get over it, already.

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:39 AM (VQp/A)

486 We'll get Yoko and MATT DAMON!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:39 AM (ptqGC)

487 April 1 story: During the time we were dating, my future wife regaled me with stories of April 1 jokes her family was known for.

Flash forward a year, April 1, and my future wife calls me, she's in the emergency room, as she had taken a spill from her bike. At first, I was worried, then remembered what day it was and accused her of playing an April Fools' joke on me.

It wasn't a joke.

Of course, me being me, I forgot I was wearing my "It's only a flesh wound" T Shirt, complete with the head of Black Knight on the front, into the ER.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at April 01, 2020 10:39 AM (WEBkv)

488 Speaking of the painting, don't you wonder how he got the idea?

I don't want to cast asparagus on the guy, but I think we can all guess.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:39 AM (e284m)

489
Tough Call - a limerick

The naked man sits like a jerk
On his face an insufferable smirk
Insomniac cried,
"I just can't decide
What to wear on my first day of work!"

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 10:39 AM (m45I2)

490 I don't think the guy in the picture liver works too well.


He died two years later. Really, follow the link.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2020 10:39 AM (gd9RK)

491 Texas is now closed.

Longhorn out front shoulda told ya.

Posted by: Bob the Bilderberg at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (qc+VF)

492 At least 3,000 dead in Iran and the jails are a riot as cases hit 45,000

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (w2O4c)

493 That only counts for certain digital purchases, of course, but I'm looking for things to buy (that I will or do need) just to take advantage.
===

can you use it for movie rentals?

Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (G546f)

494 "439 What is Murderin' Joe's problem with Hydroxychloroliquine ?

What's wrong with trying it to see if it works?

Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (CqE5x) "



It might actually work, can't have that.
People might not feel so fearful and panicky.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (cqteU)

495 Oh, geez, this asshole again.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (oVJmc)

496 For folks here interested on how our Ruling Class and Overlords could use this crisis for a totalitarian endgame, then this thread is a great start for global actors, countries, companies, and NGO's involved.
Start digging.

https://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/ 251359164#p251374656

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (MRjKr)

497 I hope this is not Insom's version of a April 1st joke.
Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (Eicbe)


Jane called it early. We'll see, I guess.

I hope it's not. He's due for some good vibes.

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (Zz0t1)

498 He died two years later. Really, follow the link.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2020 10:39 AM (gd9RK)
---
That's even more content-readingy.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (Eicbe)

499 How am I to appreciate entire 'foreign' families during Asia days at my local Costco?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:16 AM (e284m)


My local, it is Souk al-Costco or Plaza del Costco!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 10:41 AM (BiNEL)

500 What is Murderin' Joe's problem with Hydroxychloroliquine ?


He's trying to clean his fish tank with it.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:41 AM (oVJmc)

501 476
469

Nothing like going in a Kroger and seeing a couple of dogs in a shopping cart.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (ptqGC)



Kroger has a wet market?

Or would they call it a wet store here in the US?




Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:37 AM (e284m)

Depends on how much the dogs had to drink before they got to the store.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 01, 2020 10:41 AM (N39Ws)

502 They're down to the janitor.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:35 AM (W2taJ)

On the upside, the new Ayatollah Jan Itor's new "cleanliness is godliness" initiative has been credited with reducing the rate of new infections.

Posted by: Cato, Collectivism Delenda Est at April 01, 2020 10:41 AM (J+mig)

503 I still catch flak for giving my little sister a permanent scar on her forehead. But I just jumped out and scared her, she's the one that spazed and slammed her head into the kitchen counter. That's on her.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 01, 2020 10:41 AM (+0AKE)

504 John Cleese discusses the TARDIS as art... from City of Death

https://youtu.be/-EPLY9XG5nU

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:41 AM (w2O4c)

505
That's Otto, man!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 01, 2020 10:41 AM (pNxlR)

506 Half-Whitmer reversed herself on hydroxychloroquine treatments. All the cool states were doing it.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (Eicbe)

507 What is Murderin' Joe's problem with Hydroxychloroliquine ?
What's wrong with trying it to see if it works?
Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (CqE5x)
+++++++++++
I think it's two-fold:
1) Orange man likes it/wants to try it, so Joe hates it.
2) The experts haven't blessed it yet, with every i dotted and every t crossed. Until the experts sign off, it's reckless. Like all elites, Joe is probably a technocrat.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (Q8c/L)

508 493 That only counts for certain digital purchases, of course, but I'm looking for things to buy (that I will or do need) just to take advantage.
===

can you use it for movie rentals?
Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 10:40 AM (G546f)

=========

Yup.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (UWqZJ)

509 Speaking of entire families at stores.


What is that about?


Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (ekIi+)

510 Naked man on ottoman could serve as Jerry Nadler's campaign portrait.

Posted by: Northernlurker, still lurking after all these years at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (Uu+Jp)

511 >506
Half-Whitmer reversed herself on hydroxychloroquine treatments. All the cool states were doing it.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (Eicbe)


Half wit is being generous. She is painfully stupid. WTF Michigan??


Posted by: Muad'dib at April 01, 2020 10:43 AM (sjdRT)

512 How about posting that wonderful picture of the beautiful lady with the towel?

That was a nice picture.

Posted by: Sapwolf at April 01, 2020 10:43 AM (nuv3n)

513 Nothing like going in a Kroger and seeing a couple of dogs in a shopping cart.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:17 AM (ptqGC)


I'd expect, and accept, that in a PetsMart.

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 10:43 AM (BiNEL)

514 504 John Cleese discusses the TARDIS as art... from City of Death



With Eleanor Bron.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:43 AM (oVJmc)

515 I'm definitely social distancing from that guy.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:43 AM (Eicbe)

516 On the upside, the new Ayatollah Jan Itor's new "cleanliness is godliness" initiative has been credited with reducing the rate of new infections.
Posted by: Cato



*snort

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:43 AM (W2taJ)

517 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.
Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (TLxpZ)

Taped delay? Body double? Actor in Hollywood grade makeup, costume? Testing new drugs from Area 51?

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (MRjKr)

518

I'm
FLABBYASSTED and wheres the BOLLOCKS.


Title "MAN SPREADING over Ottoman.

your ugly masseuse will be along in a minute,please take that wrinkly djilaba off sir.

Posted by: saf at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (5IHGB)

519 What is Murderin' Joe's problem with Hydroxychloroliquine ?

What's wrong with trying it to see if it works?

Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:32 AM (CqE5x)

+++++++++++

I think it's two-fold:

1) Orange man likes it/wants to try it, so Joe hates it.

2) The experts haven't blessed it yet, with every i dotted and every
t crossed. Until the experts sign off, it's reckless. Like all elites,
Joe is probably a technocrat.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (Q8c/L)



And he's had Dr. Death Panels Zeke Emmanuel on the past two mornings giving his two cents on the virus.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (ptqGC)

520 Now that the world has ended, we had a couple bob-cats wander through the neighborhood in broad daylight yesterday.

They looked well fed.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (e284m)

521 What with baseball on hiatus until things open up again I guess the Ottoman Umpire doesn't have a lot to do.

Posted by: Northernlurker, still lurking after all these years at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (Uu+Jp)

522 509 Speaking of entire families at stores.


What is that about?


Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (ekIi+)

The only family outing they can have?

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (d6Ksn)

523 That's a painting of Hunter Biden doing some blow.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (Eicbe)

524 MP4 picked a good day to skip the art thread.

Posted by: yeesh! at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (75Q6c)

525 People are always bringing in their 'service animals' to Wal-Mart

A fooking Chihuahua being held in the arms is NOT a service animal. But if we ask them to leave... oh dear the wailing and histrionics...

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (w2O4c)

526 Oh - that's it....WetsMart!

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (e284m)

527 "pieces of tape on the floor to make sure you stay six feet from other people? I swear it's like they are trying to train us for something."

reminded me of The Blues Brothers scene, where he has to sign for his stuff upon his release from prison, but can't cross the tape line on the floor. YouTube lets me find in in 20 seconds.


youtu.be/9A-wWnnYyK8?t=262

Posted by: illiniwek at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (Cus5s)

528 Why do people call other assholes. On some male hunks, the asshole can be pretty sexy and tasty

Posted by: D Lemon at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (zAGZz)

529 https://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/6155912-660x440.jpg


The USNS Comfort and her crew carry no offensive weapons to comply with the Geneva Conventions. Above you can see her being guarded by the Coast Guard and a machine gun.

Posted by: getting the banned zombies to stay aboard at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (B56xp)

530 He can go to Home Depot and find a date.

Posted by: ibid at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (dZB5U)

531 So April Fools joke? If we click on the painting do we get the real morning art?

Posted by: Big V Caffeinated at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (XEC2p)

532 Speaking of entire families at stores.


What is that about?


Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (ekIi+)

The only family outing they can have?
Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (d6Ksn)


Now, I know what our dog felt like.

Going for a walk is the most exciting part of my day.

Posted by: naturalfake at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (z0XD8)

533 Half-Whitmer reversed herself on hydroxychloroquine treatments. All the cool states were doing it.

Posted by: Axeman


I expect that someone explained to her that since the FDA approved off label drugs, she couldn't threaten doctors and pharmacists with pulling their licenses.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (W2taJ)

534 They're down to the janitor.

-
The Mopping Mullah.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (+y/Ru)

535 Art thread? I thought this was the porn thread?

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (+0AKE)

536 It's mutating to infect longer. 49 days

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ china-finds-new-coronavirus-strain-21793918

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (MRjKr)

537 The only family outing they can have?
Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V at April 01, 2020 10:44 AM (d6Ksn)


I don't mean now, I mean back before the 'Rona.
It takes the whole family including all the kids and grandma to buy fish food.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (ekIi+)

538 I think it's two-fold:
1) Orange man likes it/wants to try it, so Joe hates it.
2) The experts haven't blessed it yet, with every i dotted and every t crossed. Until the experts sign off, it's reckless. Like all elites, Joe is probably a technocrat.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (Q8c/L)

Also an off-label usage (for C-19), but with known minimal side-effects and years of use, i.e., human trials. BUT, it might be effective so what could go wrong (except no big patent protection for a new wonder drug, and some dying patients might die anyway...
just like they do with on-label prescriptions)!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 10:47 AM (BiNEL)

539 535 Art thread? I thought this was the porn thread?


Only if you're into Zippy the Pinhead.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:47 AM (oVJmc)

540 535 Art thread? I thought this was the porn thread?
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (+0AKE)

There's a porn thread?

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 01, 2020 10:47 AM (FIYRT)

541 >536
It's mutating to infect longer. 49 days



https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ china-finds-new-coronavirus-strain-21793918

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (MRjKr)


Bullshit.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (sjdRT)

542 A real April 1st joke would be: Guest Blogger Kurt.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (Eicbe)

543 The USNS Comfort and her crew carry no offensive weapons to comply with the Geneva Conventions. Above you can see her being guarded by the Coast Guard and a machine gun.
Posted by: getting the banned zombies to stay aboard


Fuck the Geneva Convention.
Somali pirates don't abide by the GC.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (W2taJ)

544 Forget who writes the art appreciation, but today's is brilliant.

Posted by: Caedmon at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (VTwP5)

545 536 It's mutating to infect longer. 49 days

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ china-finds-new-coronavirus-strain-21793918
Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (MRjKr


Sorry. But the Mirror?

I don't think they pass as medical experts and anything coming out of China's Bat hole should be treated with skepticism

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (l2bVb)

546 https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ china-finds-new-coronavirus-strain-21793918

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (MRjKr)

Nuking the ChiComs is sounding better and better

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (BiNEL)

547 The Dems are purposely destroying Biden by putting him in front of Tucker for an hour. This is how they replace him with governor pierced nipples.

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (MRjKr)

548 Whomever Eleanor Bron is

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (w2O4c)

549 Furriners have this weird thing about their families. They keep their kids around, they keep their old people around. Crazy.

Don't they understand to be a 1st world country your kids need to be in day care and your elderly need to be out of sight in a "rest" home?




Is the sarcasm too subtle?


Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (e284m)

550 Geneva Convention isn't as nice as everyone thinks. It allows you to execute the enlisted, but not the officers.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (+0AKE)

551 And I would also like to point out that for the third straight day the subject of the painting has a head that is too small for the body.

Madonna's child
Toddler playing hide-and-seek
Fat man with a pinhead on an ottoman

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (m45I2)

552 548 Whomever Eleanor Bron is
Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (w2O4c)

========

She probably has pointy elbows.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (UWqZJ)

553

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ china-finds-new-coronavirus-strain-21793918



China's new story to explain a lot more deaths.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (oVJmc)

554 This is how they replace him with governor pierced nipples.

-------------

What is up with that?

Did I miss a dedicated thread to this?

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (sX1BW)

555 That UK mirror, mutation 49 day link is already removed.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (ekIi+)

556 It's mutating to infect longer. 49 days

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ china-finds-new-coronavirus-strain-21793918
Posted by: it begins...


Then the new strain is Covid-20.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (W2taJ)

557
FUNNY how you never see Ace and this guy in the same painting Hmmm!

Posted by: saf at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (5IHGB)

558 Seriously.

Why would you paint this? WHY!!??

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Zz0t1)

559 I think it's two-fold:
1) Orange man likes it/wants to try it, so Joe hates it.
2) The experts haven't blessed it yet, with every i dotted and every t crossed. Until the experts sign off, it's reckless. Like all elites, Joe is probably a technocrat.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (Q8c/L)


True. But if Joe had Bat Soup flu, he'd be first in line for it.

Posted by: Steve in SoCal at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Ozpxd)

560 533 Half-Whitmer reversed herself on hydroxychloroquine treatments. All the cool states were doing it.

Posted by: Axeman


I expect that someone explained to her that since the FDA approved off label drugs, she couldn't threaten doctors and pharmacists with pulling their licenses.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (W2taJ)


She probably began taking it herself as a precaution, and didn't want it leaked that she is taking it while denying it to the plebs.

Posted by: Gref at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (AMIL/)

561 558 Seriously.

Why would you paint this? WHY!!??
Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Zz0t1)

=======

To advance the art form.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (UWqZJ)

562 And I would also like to point out that for the third straight day the subject of the painting has a head that is too small for the body.

Madonna's child
Toddler playing hide-and-seek
Fat man with a pinhead on an ottoman
Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (m45I2)
------
Microcephaly as a theme.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (g8Yc+)

563 Fuck the Geneva Convention.
Somali pirates don't abide by the GC.
Posted by: rickb223

---

FMF Corpsmen in the field back in the day say "hold my Colt".

Posted by: Tonypete at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Y4EXg)

564
Then the new strain is Covid-20.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (W2taJ)


China
Originated
Virus
ID - 20

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Zz0t1)

565 Don't they understand to be a 1st world country your kids need to be in day care and your elderly need to be out of sight in a "rest" home?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (e284m)
---
Ice floes. But there are not enough to go around.

I really can't wait for this quarantine to be over so we can get back to political normalcy of libs *wanting* old people to die off.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Eicbe)

566 Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

Congrats, Insom!!!! Woo-hoo.

Posted by: ... at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (T+/KY)

567 Then the new strain is Covid-20.

------------

Covid-21 is going to be lit.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (sX1BW)

568 It's mutating to infect longer. 49 days



https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ china-finds-new-coronavirus-strain-21793918

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (MRjKr)


Bullshit.
Posted by: Muad'dib at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (sjdRT)


Hard to say. On the one hand, all corona viruses mutate (and become weaker as they do so), so this one likely isn't that different.
On the other hand, the British papers are notoriously inaccurate, and designed to sensationalize. Whenever I see someone cite a British paper, I know they're all out of legitimate arguments.

Posted by: Ted K. at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (xPYsj)

569 True. But if Joe had Bat Soup flu, he'd be first in line for it.

Posted by: Steve in SoCal at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Ozpxd)

Bet Joe, Hillary, and RBG have already had it!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 10:51 AM (BiNEL)

570 Oh for PETE's sake!

Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 10:51 AM (TdMsT)

571 To advance the art form.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (UWqZJ)


Some art forms should've never been started, much less advanced.

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:51 AM (Zz0t1)

572 Meanwhile, in flyover country:
About 150 homes were damaged or destroyed by an EF-3 tornado that tore through Jonesboro, AR.


Nothing to see there.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 01, 2020 10:51 AM (ptqGC)

573 529
https://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/6155912-660x440.jpg





The USNS Comfort and her crew carry no offensive weapons to comply
with the Geneva Conventions. Above you can see her being guarded by the
Coast Guard and a machine gun.



Posted by: getting the banned zombies to stay aboard at April 01, 2020 10:45 AM (B56xp)

Chaplains too. So they get assigned assistants that also serve as body guards in the field. The bonus comes when their driving around. The assistant rides shotgun, literally, and the chaplain drives the military trucks.

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 10:51 AM (VQp/A)

574 Climate change destroyed all those excess ice floes...

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:51 AM (w2O4c)

575
To advance the art form.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (UWqZJ)
This guy ain't never gonna get a show where he paints "happy naked fat guys" man.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:52 AM (e284m)

576 Then the new strain is Covid-20.



Everything's a sequel nowadays.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:52 AM (oVJmc)

577 I believe that if Biden had China flu, he'd already have cashed his chips.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:52 AM (Eicbe)

578 Hard to say. On the one hand, all corona viruses mutate (and become weaker as they do so), so this one likely isn't that different.
On the other hand, the British papers are notoriously inaccurate, and designed to sensationalize. Whenever I see someone cite a British paper, I know they're all out of legitimate arguments.
Posted by: Ted K.


If it mutates and weakens, then there won't be millions of deaths.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:52 AM (W2taJ)

579 558 Seriously.

Why would you paint this? WHY!!??
Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Zz0t1)


Look at the title: Naked Man, Back View. That implies that somewhere there is a companion piece titled: Naked Man, Front View. Be thankful for what we've been given.

Posted by: moon_over_vermont at April 01, 2020 10:53 AM (1dJNh)

580 Everything's a sequel nowadays.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:52 AM (oVJmc)

It used to be cool, before it sold out and went mainstream.

Posted by: Vanya at April 01, 2020 10:53 AM (BAsqb)

581 545 536 It's mutating to infect longer. 49 days

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ china-finds-new-coronavirus-strain-21793918
Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:46 AM (MRjKr


Sorry. But the Mirror?

I don't think they pass as medical experts and anything coming out of China's Bat hole should be treated with skepticism
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (l2bVb)

In fairness, it's turning out to be worse than the Chinese have reported so....

Track and trace it for yourself. This has all the mutations and strains in and interactive website. Over 2300 so far.

https://nextstrain.org/ncov

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 10:53 AM (MRjKr)

582 OMG OMG

Insom--you made my day, month and year.

Congratulations, you wonderful guy!!!

Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 10:53 AM (TdMsT)

583 Then the new strain is Covid-20.



Everything's a sequel nowadays.

-------------

Yes, but Covid-20 is now "fabulous."

Unlike that privileged Covid-19

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:53 AM (sX1BW)

584 To advance the art form.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (UWqZJ)


So, in before Lenard Nemoy reincarnated?

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:53 AM (Zz0t1)

585
Insom--you made my day, month and year.

Congratulations, you wonderful guy!!!
Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 10:53 AM (TdMsT)


Hey now.

Lets not go too far......

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:53 AM (Zz0t1)

586 NY/ NJ account for half the cases and deaths.

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (CCNCh)

587 Don't they understand to be a 1st world country your kids need to be in day care and your elderly need to be out of sight in a "rest" home?


My kids never saw a single moment of day care or "extended day." Before the 'Rona I took my mother out twice a week. However, I never dragged my kids AND my mother AND my husband all at once to the stores. Kids aren't in love with being dragged around shopping, btw. Husbands tend to not like it much either, in my experience.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (ekIi+)

588 {{{Ladyl}}}

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (Zz0t1)

589 NY/ NJ account for half the cases and deaths.

-------------

Same for syphilis.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (sX1BW)

590 SARS is a coronavirus

So far no Andromeda strain

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:55 AM (w2O4c)

591 I think Fauci and Birx presented the worst case scenario yesterday because they are getting some good news and don't want people to backslide.

Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:55 AM (CqE5x)

592 561
558 Seriously.



Why would you paint this? WHY!!??

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Zz0t1)



=======



To advance the art form.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (UWqZJ)
To advance the art form? Go to Walmart on Saturday night with a camera.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 01, 2020 10:56 AM (N39Ws)

593 that's gonna leave a mark......when he stands.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 01, 2020 10:56 AM (0O7c5)

594 True. But if Joe had Bat Soup flu, he'd be first in line for it.
Posted by: Steve in SoCal at April 01, 2020 10:50 AM (Ozpxd)
++++++++++++
Of course. As an elite, though, he is *very* smart and can make informed decisions for himself. It's dangerous for the rubes to do so.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 10:56 AM (Q8c/L)

595 Somebody better bring him a bucket.

Posted by: Shadout Mapes with an abundance of TP at April 01, 2020 10:56 AM (PiwSw)

596 Same guy, sweating on a vinyl couch.


You're welcome.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:56 AM (oVJmc)

597 586 NY/ NJ account for half the cases and deaths.
Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (CCNCh)

============

If Tennessee were the epicenter, the media wouldn't care.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (UWqZJ)

598 576
Then the new strain is Covid-20.







Everything's a sequel nowadays.


and, no doubt, with data mining of the genome we'll see news come out about the covid-18 prequel.

Posted by: Anachronda at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (kf5Ci)

599 587: Neither my kids nor grandkids ever went to daycare either

Posted by: CN at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (ONvIw)

600 If Tennessee were the epicenter, the media wouldn't care.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (UWqZJ)
++++++++++++
I rate this statement as "true."

Posted by: Nashville Tornado at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (Q8c/L)

601 If Tennessee were the epicenter, the media wouldn't care.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (UWqZJ)


We rate this statement as TRUE!

Posted by: Snopes! at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (Zz0t1)

602 593 that's gonna leave a mark......when he stands.....
Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 01, 2020 10:56 AM (0O7c5)

Don't give "him" any ideas... {{{shudder}}}

Posted by: It's me donna at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (5bxa0)

603 If Tennessee were the epicenter, the media wouldn't care.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (UWqZJ)

Hell, if it was only New Jersey and not New York, the media wouldn't care.

Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (CqE5x)

604 {{{Sponge}}}

I'm not a big crier, but I'm crying with happiness over Insom's news.

Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (TdMsT)

605 Brix gives me the creeps. The way she stands there and lectures us that we must obey all her orders "perfectly." (Her word.) Distinctly authoritarian whiff coming off of that woman.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (KxVoZ)

606 My kids never saw a single moment of day care or
"extended day." Before the 'Rona I took my mother out twice a week.
However, I never dragged my kids AND my mother AND my husband all at
once to the stores. Kids aren't in love with being dragged around
shopping, btw. Husbands tend to not like it much either, in my
experience.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (ekIi+)
I bitched about their family aisle rolling roadblocks before though. There's just no pleasing me. I can remember going grocery shopping 'family' size as a kid though - I'm number 5 of 6, but it was never more than 4 of us. My problem isn't the families, my problem is they form company fronts instead of marching column in the aisles.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (e284m)

607 I think Fauci and Birx presented the worst case scenario yesterday because they are getting some good news and don't want people to backslide.
Posted by: JoeF.



They need to quit playing politics with it or they risk "the boy who cried wolf".

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (W2taJ)

608 Insom, that was the interview we knew would work that we could celebrate at the (now delayed) Mome?


See, we knew.

Awesome.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (ekIi+)

609 That implies that somewhere there is a companion piece titled: Naked Man, Front View. Be thankful for what we've been given.


That's the one with the inflated scrotum.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (oVJmc)

610 586 NY/ NJ account for half the cases and deaths.
Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (CCNCh)

============

If Tennessee were the epicenter, the media wouldn't care.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (UWqZJ)


You're telling us!

Posted by: The Dozens Killed in Tennessee Tornadoes at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (Ed8Zd)

611 My grandson dreams of mens' asses? Vatever does dar mean?

Posted by: Sockmund Freuf at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (ONvIw)

612 I think Fauci and Birx presented the worst case scenario yesterday because they are getting some good news and don't want people to backslide.
Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:55 AM (CqE5x)

To project more deaths than the current number of cases at this point of the curve seems to point to a re-infection scenario where we start over.

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (CCNCh)

613
Whomever Eleanor Bron is
Posted by: Anna Puma


She's not JULIE ANDREWS!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (aKsyK)

614 I think Fauci and Birx presented the worst case scenario yesterday because they are getting some good news and don't want people to backslide.
Posted by: JoeF. at April 01, 2020 10:55 AM (CqE5x)


When you look at the numbers from Italy (and they're bad, make no mistake about that), they are on their way down in the last 3-4 days, after about a month of ramping up. If the worst of this only lasts about a month here, the hardest hit areas -NYC, Seattle- are almost at their peaks. So there is some reason for optimism. Again, this will be worse than the normal flu season, but we aren't approaching 28 Days levels, to the chagrin of many who love to preach doom and gloom.

Posted by: Ted K. at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (xPYsj)

615 Distinctly authoritarian whiff coming off of that woman.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (KxVoZ)
----
She was career military, yes?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (g8Yc+)

616 49 days


********

An oddly specific length of time.

Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (m45I2)

617 605 Brix gives me the creeps. The way she stands there and lectures us that we must obey all her orders "perfectly." (Her word.) Distinctly authoritarian whiff coming off of that woman.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (KxVoZ)


She is a retired Army Colonel.

Posted by: blaster at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (ZfRYq)

618 Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (ekIi+)

Hubs & I do the grocery shopping usually on Saturdays, and have lunch while we're out. With mom and son living with us, it's our little escape once a week.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (FIYRT)

619 Posted by: CN at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (ONvIw)

Must be nice. My wife and I wanted that too but no dice. Luckily we do a private home and the lady is awesome. However right now both boys are home with my wife who is out of work.

I guess a ray of light.

Posted by: thathalfrican - sucker free on my phone at April 01, 2020 11:00 AM (J58Fr)

620 He looks like he's sitting on a Squatty Potty.

Posted by: Tuna at April 01, 2020 11:00 AM (gLRfa)

621
Geneva Convention isn't as nice as everyone thinks. It allows you to execute the enlisted, but not the officers.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (+0AKE)







Also means that anyone fighting in mufti without an identifying mark like an armband or brassard can be shot as an unlawful combatant (you have about 30 days from the outbreak of hostilities to announce the mark). Which means that Taliban fighters can be summarily executed under the international laws of war.

Curiously, ISIS has been big on those black armbands and headscarves with the Arabic babbling written on them. So assuming that they made the announcement requirement, they CAN'T be executed out of hand.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 01, 2020 11:00 AM (EGyGV)

622 2499 genomes sampled, mapped, and traced around the word so far from Dec 2019- March 2020.

nextstrain.org/ncov

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 11:00 AM (MRjKr)

623 I like Dr. Birx. I think she is getting sick of the media.

Posted by: Miss Issippi at April 01, 2020 11:01 AM (sI15f)

624 If Tennessee were the epicenter, the media wouldn't care.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (UWqZJ)
++++++++++
The might. If this were a problem more or less limited to the interior, they would be trumpeting the wrath of nature against Trump's base.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 11:01 AM (Q8c/L)

625 Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (KxVoZ)

Is her first name Brunhilde?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 11:01 AM (BiNEL)

626 Congrats Insom! Now get to work!

Posted by: Shadout Mapes with an abundance of TP at April 01, 2020 11:01 AM (PiwSw)

627 To project more deaths than the current number of cases at this point of the curve seems to point to a re-infection scenario where we start over.
Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (CCNCh)


No it points to more new cases.

The 100-240k number is NOT by April 15 but through at least August if not all the way through the next season.


Posted by: blaster at April 01, 2020 11:01 AM (ZfRYq)

628 I think Col. Brix is great.

Posted by: LASue at April 01, 2020 11:01 AM (Ed8Zd)

629 Never realized bat soup was a thing. Google it and you get all sorts of recipes, sounds delicious.

Posted by: Colin at April 01, 2020 11:02 AM (zAGZz)

630 Also means that anyone fighting in mufti without an identifying mark like an armband or brassard can be shot as an unlawful combatant (you have about 30 days from the outbreak of hostilities to announce the mark). Which means that Taliban fighters can be summarily executed under the international laws of war.

Curiously, ISIS has been big on those black armbands and headscarves with the Arabic babbling written on them. So assuming that they made the announcement requirement, they CAN'T be executed out of hand.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur



Pfffft. He made a "furtive" movement.

If it's good enough for cops....

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 11:02 AM (W2taJ)

631 586 NY/ NJ account for half the cases and deaths.
-----
We'll try harder for more than half. Check back tomorrow.

Posted by: BluesFish at April 01, 2020 11:02 AM (cYYTM)

632 616 49 days


********

An oddly specific length of time.
Posted by: Muldoon at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (m45I2)

One guy. New genome mapped.

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 11:02 AM (MRjKr)

633 Whomever Eleanor Bron is


Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (w2O4c)



English actress. Was in the movies Help!, Alfie and Bedazzled

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 01, 2020 11:02 AM (V8f8z)

634 I like Dr. Birx. I think she is getting sick of the media.
Posted by: Miss Issippi

---

I don't know why but I have been noticing her scarves more than anything.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Posted by: Tonypete at April 01, 2020 11:03 AM (Y4EXg)

635 The USNS Mercy docked on Friday in LA. As of Monday, it's treating nine patients. Because the hospitals are overflowing.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 11:03 AM (jyVW0)

636 Oh, lord. This picture is still here.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 01, 2020 11:03 AM (2JVJo)

637 I don't know why but I have been noticing her scarves more than anything.

What the hell is wrong with me?
Posted by: Tonypete at April 01, 2020 11:03 AM (Y4EXg)
+++++++++++++
They're very fetching.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 11:03 AM (Q8c/L)

638 Art?

From Osamu Tezuka's R-rated anime movie Cleopatra: Queen of Sex name all the artist styles in this clip.

https://youtu.be/5DDF_Y5wwsw

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (w2O4c)

639 Okay. I just have to get this off my chest.I hate, hate, hate modern customer service.

I'm working from home and my internet connection, which is supposed to be 45+ Mbps, is sitting at around 100 Kbps. When I go to my ISP's website to try and deal with the issue, they suggest that I rent a wifi extender - which, presumably, will make the ethernet cable I have connected to the modem work better.

I go onto chat with the stupid AI, and whose bright idea was it for the AI to pretend to type in my responses, and it tells me to run a speed test. When I've just told it that my connection is slow.

Can't get to an actual human person who MIGHT be able to at least understand the issue that I'm having even if they're too dimwitted to actually help.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (ExV1e)

640 >>>Whomever Eleanor Bron is.

Is she related to Lloyd Bron?

Posted by: Mrs Costanza at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (l3+k2)

641 The USNS Mercy docked on Friday in LA. As of Monday, it's treating nine patients. Because the hospitals are overflowing.
Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 11:03 AM (jyVW0)
+++++++++++++
Are they using it for COVID patients or for the others? In NY, they're using field hospitals and the Comfort for *non*-COVID patients, to leave the purpose-built hospitals for the outbreak.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (Q8c/L)

642 To project more deaths than the current number of cases at this point of the curve seems to point to a re-infection scenario where we start over.
Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 10:59 AM (CCNCh)

No it points to more new cases.

The 100-240k number is NOT by April 15 but through at least August if not all the way through the next season.


Posted by: blaster


Then guess what?

Almost every job becomes essential.

Because at some point, we WILL run out of food. There's only so much stored in the supply chain.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (W2taJ)

643 337 Tucker has Biden on for a full hour tonight.
Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at April 01, 2020 10:18 AM (TLxpZ)

You win a prize.
Oh, look, some bat soup.

Posted by: m at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (7juvc)

644 Someone fire up the Ewok emergency spotlight.

We need Ace up. Now.

Can't. See. Painting. Any. Longer.

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (Zz0t1)

645 When I go to my ISP's website to try and deal with the issue, they suggest that I rent a wifi extender - which, presumably, will make the ethernet cable I have connected to the modem work better.
---
Yeah. No.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 11:05 AM (Eicbe)

646 Good.

*plays fanfare*

I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)


**brohug**

MY MAN!

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 01, 2020 11:05 AM (2JVJo)

647 If Tennessee were the epicenter, the media wouldn't care.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:57 AM (UWqZJ)

Hell, if it was only New Jersey and not New York, the media wouldn't care.

------------

What if it was just in Staten Island?

Like most cases of gonorrhea?

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 11:05 AM (sX1BW)

648 Yesterday's presser was hilarious. Jim Acosta is a idiot. I'm not sure if he's the one who asked if the rest of the country should "get in line" with NY or not, but whoever asked it with the graphic showing that NY is doing AWFUL and the rest of the country, including CA, is faring way better.

Why does the media want a national shelter in place? Are they hurting for ratings that much?

Posted by: Miss Issippi at April 01, 2020 11:05 AM (sI15f)

649 Good picture for the outhouse at the cabin maybe.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 01, 2020 11:05 AM (TNy/K)

650 Can't get to an actual human person who MIGHT be able to at least understand the issue that I'm having even if they're too dimwitted to actually help.
Posted by: Laughing in Texas

---

When you finally reach a human, he'll have a thick Indian accent and tell you his name is "Steve".

And still won't be able to help.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 01, 2020 11:05 AM (Y4EXg)

651 Flu season usually runs through week 16 of the year. Looking at week 11 to week 12 we have cut flu rates and death by 50%.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2020 11:05 AM (JFO2v)

652 Wearing decorative scarves always looks so contrived to me. Very few women can make it look good.

Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (TdMsT)

653 Might want to burn that ottoman.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (TNy/K)

654 And I would also like to point out that for the third straight day the subject of the painting has a head that is too small for the body.

Madonna's child
Toddler playing hide-and-seek
Fat man with a pinhead on an ottoman
Posted by: Muldoon
______________

You expect anatomical correctness in this world? Next thing you'll be telling us is that there are biological differences between men and women!

Science denier! H8ter! Those tiny-head painted figures are God's children too! Why can't you be more tolerant and inclusive???

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (k4dH2)

655 Fuck the Geneva Convention.
Somali pirates don't abide by the GC.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (W2taJ)


If I was running a war, I would abide by the Geneva Convention...

As long as I was winning.

The minute the tide turned, rules go out the window.

Posted by: jwest at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (mrrpT)

656 don't know why but I have been noticing her scarves more than anything.

My mom does too. At least a couple have been Hermes.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (ekIi+)

657 646 Good.

*plays fanfare*

I have a long-anticipated announcement to make. After years of struggle, false starts, dead ends, and all around frustration, I
HAVE
LANDED
A
JOB!!!!
Posted by: Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo at April 01, 2020 09:49 AM (NWiLs)

**brohug**

MY MAN!
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 01, 2020 11:05 AM (2JVJo)

dayum! Have fun! Best wishes!

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (JFO2v)

658 Are they using it for COVID patients or for the others?

Non-COVID. The patients are being transported by Marines from Pendleton (also, I guess, to relieve the overtaxed ambulance services)

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (jyVW0)

659 They need to quit playing politics with it or they risk "the boy who cried wolf".

---------------

I simply prefer government honesty. Call me old-fashion - or a citizen.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (sX1BW)

660 Can't get to an actual human person who MIGHT be able to at least understand the issue that I'm having even if they're too dimwitted to actually help.
Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (ExV1e)
+++++++++++++
Did you reboot your cable modem yet? You know they're gonna tell you to reboot.

I have a business internet line at home. It is expensive for moderate speed. The one major upshot is that Comcast's business support is top-notch. When I have a problem, I am on with a human being in virtually no time and get service onsite (if needed) within a couple of hours.

But boy does it *cost*.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (Q8c/L)

661
Can't get to an actual human person who MIGHT be
able to at least understand the issue that I'm having even if they're
too dimwitted to actually help.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (ExV1e)
If you get one, it'll be an "intellibrick" with a flip book.
Page 1 - ask "Is your machine turned on?"

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (e284m)

662 Kids aren't in love with being dragged around
shopping, btw. Husbands tend to not like it much either, in my
experience.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 10:54 AM (ekIi+)

I like the way you differentiated the kids from the husbands

Posted by: Balrog of Morgoth at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (CLteG)

663 653 Might want to burn that ottoman.
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (TNy/K)

ooh ooh that smell! cant u smell that smell

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (JFO2v)

664 652 Wearing decorative scarves always looks so contrived to me. Very few women can make it look good.
Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (TdMsT



Hillary loves scarves.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (l2bVb)

665 The USNS Mercy docked on Friday in LA. As of Monday, it's treating nine patients. Because the hospitals are overflowing.

Posted by: t-bird at April 01, 2020 11:03 AM (jyVW0)


Why it's almost like there were no California "Chinese" that attended the New Year Celebration in the old country and returned to CA?

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (BiNEL)

666 If I was running a war, I would abide by the Geneva Convention...

As long as I was winning.

The minute the tide turned, rules go out the window.
Posted by: jwest


Rules go out the window from jump street. Goat fuckers aren't abiding by it? Don't expect me to either.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 11:08 AM (W2taJ)

667 Is she related to Lloyd Bron?
Posted by: Mrs Costanza at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (l3+k2)

LOL. That episode is on TBS right now.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 01, 2020 11:08 AM (FIYRT)

668 It's all good as long as she doesn't start wearing boob scarves.

Posted by: davidt at April 01, 2020 11:08 AM (l3+k2)

669 Hillary loves scarves.

----------

Well you never know when you may need to hang someone.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 11:08 AM (sX1BW)

670 Whatever happened, I didn't do it.

*pours a splash of bourbon in coffee*

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Flying Kites at Night at April 01, 2020 11:08 AM (x8Wzq)

671 Posted by: blaster at April 01, 2020 11:01 AM (ZfRYq

Of course it considers new cases. Those projections at current rate would mean about 15 million new cases.

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 11:08 AM (CCNCh)

672 Birx. Like "Burks."
Muldoon can go to town with this.

Posted by: m at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (7juvc)

673 Have we established that Insom isn't doing an April Fool's thing? Because that's what it feels like.

Posted by: ... at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (T+/KY)

674 605 Brix gives me the creeps. The way she stands there and lectures us that we must obey all her orders "perfectly." (Her word.) Distinctly authoritarian whiff coming off of that woman.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at April 01, 2020 10:58 AM (KxVoZ)


If a doctor wants you to do something for your own good, he/she typically does not say, "You should do this to keep from dying soon. But if you find it inconvenient, well, never mind."

Posted by: Gref at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (AMIL/)

675 Second Junior is teething and wants to chew on my hand.

This is not nearly as cute as before the teeth starting coming out of the gums.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (UWqZJ)

676 If you get one, it'll be an "intellibrick" with a flip book.
Page 1 - ask "Is your machine turned on?"
Posted by: DamnedYankee


Ahhhh. The old Tier 1 Helpless Desk.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (W2taJ)

677 Wearing decorative scarves is tight!

Posted by: ... at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (T+/KY)

678 Did you reboot your cable modem yet? You know they're gonna tell you to reboot.

Yeah, I love that one.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (ExV1e)

679 A tractor-trailer hauling toilet paper crashed and caught fire near
Dallas early Wednesday, spilling the hot commodity all over an
interstate, officials said.

Posted by: Yoko at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (3aI0K)

680 The artist presents an image full of inner conflict, of calm and chaos.
Perhaps this is where his family heritage is most observable.


Spin him around and his family jewels would be most observable

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (q1Pj5)

681 I don't think this is an April.Fools joke:


Tucker says a paper by Chinese scientists back in mid Feb claims the virus originated from horseshoe bats

plot twist - there are no horseshoe bat colonies near Wuhan, and this kind of bat is NOT sold in their wet markets

paper speculates that one of the 2 biolabs in Wuhan might have had horseshoe bats


https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/
1245207986080907264

Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (G546f)

682 But boy does it *cost*.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (Q8c/L)

Heh....we have a high-speed connection, and yup, it is a fair amount, but the one good thing about my obscenely overpriced cable company is that their techs know their shit. When they send someone out the guy fixes the problem very quickly.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (dLLD6)

683 652 Wearing decorative scarves always looks so contrived to me. Very few women can make it look good.
Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (TdMsT)

THE LANGUAGE OF SCARVES!! DO YOU SPEAK IT??

Posted by: Tranny Samuel Jackson at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (B56xp)

684 552 548 Whomever Eleanor Bron is
Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (w2O4c)

========

She probably has pointy elbows.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 10:49 AM (UWqZJ)

I remember Eleanor Bron from the 1967 "Bedazzled" with Dudley Moore, which is a hilarious and much underrated movie. Far, far better than the remake! If you haven't seen it, I think it's one of the best comedies of the 60's.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 01, 2020 11:10 AM (V2Yro)

685 677 Wearing decorative scarves is tight!
Posted by: ... at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (T+/KY)


You are WRONG!

Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 11:10 AM (TdMsT)

686 Second Junior is teething and wants to chew on my hand.

This is not nearly as cute as before the teeth starting coming out of the gums.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison



Imagine your hand is a tender nipple.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 11:10 AM (W2taJ)

687 673 Have we established that Insom isn't doing an April Fool's thing? Because that's what it feels like.
Posted by: ... at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (T+/KY)

He is not.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 11:10 AM (l2bVb)

688 like the way you differentiated the kids from the husbands
Posted by: Balrog of Morgoth at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (CLteG)


My kids behave (behaved) better. Plus they don't wander off or ask, "Do we really need that?" Or "Can I buy cookies?"

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 11:10 AM (ekIi+)

689 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WHEN HE STOOD UP, THERE WAS A BROWN STREAK FROM HIS GREASY TAINT!

Posted by: BEN ROETHISLBLERGER at April 01, 2020 11:10 AM (CLteG)

690 Imagine your hand is a tender nipple.

-------------

You know porn is readily available now.

Posted by: SH at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (sX1BW)

691
Wearing decorative scarves always looks so contrived to me. Very few women can make it look good.
Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 11:06 AM (TdMsT

Hillary loves scarves.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (l2bVb)








*insert Zombie Isadora Duncan joke here*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (EGyGV)

692 623 I like Dr. Birx. I think she is getting sick of the media.

I like her too...she knows her stuff and conveys it well. We're wondering how many scarves she has? Don't think she's repeated once.

Posted by: dingbat at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (KylN9)

693 they suggest that I rent a wifi extender - which, presumably, will make
the ethernet cable I have connected to the modem work better.

---

Yeah. No.

BS! I had two extenders working in the house, neither one was any improvement in speed. A new router did make a difference. I have DSL on a dedicated phone line. Soon to get fiber at 500 Mbps, be interesting to see if it is slower during peak hours. Right now they have slowed the instillation because of having to enter your house, during the virus.

Posted by: Colin at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (zAGZz)

694 Tranny Samuel Jackson

Oh gawd, immediately thought of Mace Windu

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (w2O4c)

695 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WHEN HE STOOD UP, THERE WAS A BROWN STREAK FROM HIS GREASY TAINT!
Posted by: BEN ROETHISLBLERGER at April 01, 2020 11:10 AM (CLteG)
+++++++++++++
So you're saying he doesn't maintain taint health through judicious and regular butt-sunning? Can someone give this poor chap Josh Brolin's phone number?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (Q8c/L)

696 How many of the 8500 cases in CA are hospitalized?

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (CCNCh)

697 679
A tractor-trailer hauling toilet paper crashed and caught fire near

Dallas early Wednesday, spilling the hot commodity all over an

interstate, officials said.

Posted by: Yoko at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (3aI0K)
Great, now there'll be a panic state wide.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (e284m)

698 A tractor-trailer hauling toilet paper crashed and caught fire near Dallas early Wednesday, spilling the hot commodity all over an interstate, officials said.
Posted by: Yoko


It was industrial/commercial shit tickets, not consumer TP.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (W2taJ)

699 id2020.org

Posted by: it begins... at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (MRjKr)

700 This is not nearly as cute as before the teeth starting coming out of the gums.


If it's not your nipple I'm not impressed.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (ekIi+)

701
Hillary loves scarves.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 01, 2020 11:07 AM (l2bVb)


And Chairman Mao tunics.

Posted by: Ladyl at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (TdMsT)

702 And, just like that, my internet connection is at 50 Mbps. Just a delayed reaction from rebooting my router 5 hours ago, I guess.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (ExV1e)

703 paper speculates that one of the 2 biolabs in Wuhan might have had horseshoe bats


https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/
1245207986080907264
Posted by: vmom 2020 at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (G546f)


China exercises in biowarfare. This is known.

They want to rule the world and KNOW they would lose by conventional means.

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (Zz0t1)

704 So Biden say's he's looking at Whitmer as a VP possibility. Don't know much about her other than she's not above playing petty politics during a national crisis.

Posted by: WisRich at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (OAlmw)

705 Posted by: Anna Puma at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (w2O4c)
------
Started off with Toulouse and Edgar, then that French Revolution painting by a guy I'm too lazy to look up, someone, Botticelli, da Vinci, Goya, something, something, Magritte, Van Gogh, Picasso, and stuff.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (g8Yc+)

706 We're getting fiber internet in the new house. The 4K video must flow.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (UWqZJ)

707 Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 11:04 AM (ExV1e)
----
That sounds like Verizon/Frontier FiOS, yes?

Posted by: BluesFish at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (cYYTM)

708 And, just like that, my internet connection is at 50 Mbps. Just a delayed reaction from rebooting my router 5 hours ago, I guess.
Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 11:12 AM (ExV1e)


ISP forgot to click Apply.

Posted by: Sponge at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (Zz0t1)

709 Yay, Insom!!!

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Flying Kites at Night at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (x8Wzq)

710 WCRB playing "Wachet Auf" right now.

I love Bach.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (2JVJo)

711 they suggest that I rent a wifi extender - which, presumably, will make
the ethernet cable I have connected to the modem work better.


Snort. Lol.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (ekIi+)

712 "511 >506
Half-Whitmer reversed herself on hydroxychloroquine treatments. All the cool states were doing it.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 10:42 AM (Eicbe)


Half wit is being generous. She is painfully stupid. WTF Michigan??


Posted by: Muad'dib at April 01, 2020 10:43 AM (sjdRT) "




Didn't she ban it last week ?

LOL !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (cqteU)

713 693
they suggest that I rent a wifi extender - which, presumably, will make

the ethernet cable I have connected to the modem work better.


---


Yeah. No.

BS! I had two extenders working in the house,
neither one was any improvement in speed. A new router did make a
difference. I have DSL on a dedicated phone line. Soon to get fiber at
500 Mbps, be interesting to see if it is slower during peak hours. Right
now they have slowed the instillation because of having to enter your
house, during the virus.


Posted by: Colin at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (zAGZz)
You guys need to check your bit oil and your looping belts. Trust me on this, I been working round computers for 40+ years. You can tell those are the problems, especially when someone tells you they haven't changed anything and suddenly it all stopped working.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (e284m)

714 Just had a thought about the press.

When it all comes down to it, you're talking about the same people who actually bought Jussie Smollet's story for more than a second.

Actually the better part of a week. They bought Smollett's story *after* all the details came out.

Really, until Dave Chappel's special made it not racist to doubt the ludicrous story.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (Eicbe)

715 With Ben R's insightful explanation, we can move on.

NOOD APE not on ottoman
http://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=386595

Posted by: mindful webworker
radically inclined
at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (AoLFQ)

716 Cal Pop 40 Million

As of 2pm March 30, 2020 there are 6,932 positive cases and 150 deaths in California. Approximately 86,100 tests had been conducted. This includes the latest numbers California has received from commercial and private labs. At least 28,704 results have been received and another 57,400 are pending.

So 24% positive. I bet it goes to under 10% positive.

About 0.00017% of population.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2020 11:14 AM (JFO2v)

717 Nood gorilla!

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at April 01, 2020 11:14 AM (ExV1e)

718 711 they suggest that I rent a wifi extender - which, presumably, will make
the ethernet cable I have connected to the modem work better.

Snort. Lol.
Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (ekIi+)

Check the muffler bearing first.

Posted by: Balrog of Morgoth at April 01, 2020 11:14 AM (CLteG)

719 Nood, you have all been rescued from the fat man on the ottoman.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 01, 2020 11:15 AM (FIYRT)

720 Check the muffler bearing first.

Posted by: Balrog of Morgoth at April 01, 2020 11:14 AM (CLteG)
Needs new nitrogen in the tires.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 11:15 AM (e284m)

721 Unplug it. Then plug it back in.

Posted by: Case at April 01, 2020 11:15 AM (mcuue)

722 Didn't she ban it last week ?

LOL !
Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at April 01, 2020 11:13 AM (cqteU)
---
Effectively. She threatened to prosecute any doctor proscribing it for treatment.

Remember how libs said that doctors, and not politicians, should be making medical choices?

Would it surprise you that they didn't really mean it?

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 11:15 AM (Eicbe)

723
I like Dr. Birx. I think she is getting sick of the media.

I like her too...she knows her stuff and conveys it well. We're wondering how many scarves she has? Don't think she's repeated once.
Posted by: dingbat at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (KylN9)








She's probably making up for a career in uniform. Now that she's a civvy, she can wear whatever she wants, rather than being restricted to BDUs.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 01, 2020 11:16 AM (EGyGV)

724 Did the Dems buy Hillary a stair climber for Christmas>

Posted by: Puddin Head at April 01, 2020 11:17 AM (VY4KS)

725 675
Second Junior is teething and wants to chew on my hand.



This is not nearly as cute as before the teeth starting coming out of the gums.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at April 01, 2020 11:09 AM (UWqZJ)

Saw a video where it seems whales have learned to bring their teething babies over to whale-watcher boats. The babies will open their mouths and the humans will rub their gums, soothing the pain. It's kinda cute.

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2020 11:17 AM (VQp/A)

726 586Mostly, NJ cases are near NYC

Posted by: Sockmund Freuf at April 01, 2020 11:18 AM (ONvIw)

727 Actually an oil change for your router will work wonders. Just make sure you use the right oil, usually sewing machine oil is best.

Posted by: Colin at April 01, 2020 11:19 AM (zAGZz)

728 Re wifi extenders:

Another thing you can do is get the attachment to blow the dust out of your data lines. Be sure you put your router or open wire ends in a wastebasket or trash can otherwise the dust will be all over the room.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 11:22 AM (e284m)

729 Yeah. No.

BS! I had two extenders working in the house,
neither one was any improvement in speed.
Posted by: Colin at April 01, 2020 11:11 AM (zAGZz)
---
What does "No" mean these days? "No", is clearly the last word.

Posted by: Axeman at April 01, 2020 11:30 AM (Eicbe)

730 543 The USNS Comfort and her crew carry no offensive weapons to comply with the Geneva Conventions. Above you can see her being guarded by the Coast Guard and a machine gun.
Posted by: getting the banned zombies to stay aboard

Fuck the Geneva Convention.
Somali pirates don't abide by the GC.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2020 10:48 AM (W2taJ)

Small arms on a boat shouldn't qualify as offensive weapons. You can't threaten a ship with an a rifle.

Posted by: Cato, Collectivism Delenda Est at April 01, 2020 11:31 AM (J+mig)

731 You can't threaten a ship with an a rifle.

Posted by: Cato, Collectivism Delenda Est at April 01, 2020 11:31 AM (J+mig)
Sure you can! You can threaten a tank with a baseball too. It's just not very credible.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 01, 2020 11:35 AM (e284m)

732 this is NOT art.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 01, 2020 11:45 AM (CPk08)

733 Can't understand why anyone would want to paint that or why we would want to see it.

Posted by: Thomas LaBelle at April 01, 2020 11:46 AM (XHdLb)

734
Weinstein, is that you?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at April 01, 2020 12:31 PM (ZTZBG)

735 https://tinyurl.com/rq8uq9x

Link goes to: artsy-editorial-lucian-freuds-obsession-skin-inspired-powerful-nude-portraits

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 01, 2020 02:52 PM (u82oZ)

736 I fail to understand what we as a group have done to deserve yet another presentation of this vile representation of an old white man. In times like this, we should all strive to uplift.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess Hydroxy Chloro Queen at April 01, 2020 03:21 PM (rCwaK)

737 I'm always late to this thread so not sure if you'll see this, Kris. BUT this is fantastic commentary. I am a very occasional painter and fascinated by the forms in this painting. Your description of the paint and how it is used to depict skin is glorious.

Jane D'oh, if you see this, still praying for your business. I'm on Nextdoor and sheesh they are a bunch of scolds. I use the private message feature sometimes just to avoid the negativity. That anecdotal experience convinces me that there are many lurker/silent conservatives.

OTOH, the suburban moms (including some of my friends) are incredibly easily manipulated. That's what happens when one makes all decisions off of social media and using your heart and not your head. As another friend, similarly a businessperson, says, if you've ever run a group or met a payroll, you "get" Trump.

Posted by: groovygirl at April 01, 2020 05:29 PM (ybC9u)

738 Please no Harvey Weinstein.

Posted by: Charlotte Allen at April 02, 2020 01:27 PM (PM9j3)

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